#self-esteem — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #self-esteem, aggregated by home.social.
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DATE: May 14, 2026 at 04:00PM
SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
-------------------------------------------------TITLE: Making snap judgments on dating apps hurts your own perceived value as a mate
URL: https://www.psypost.org/why-swiping-by-gut-feeling-on-dating-apps-might-lower-your-self-esteem/
Making snap, gut-level judgments on dating apps might leave users feeling worse about themselves than evaluating profiles methodically based on set criteria. A recent study published in Media Psychology found that while seeing a high number of potential partners increases feelings of being overwhelmed, it is the intuitive swiping strategy that actually harms users’ self-esteem and perceived value as a mate. These results suggest that the fast-paced design of modern dating platforms carries hidden psychological costs depending on how individuals choose to engage with the app.
Traditional online matchmaking agencies typically rely on lengthy questionnaires and deliberate algorithms to pair users. Modern mobile dating platforms take a vastly different approach, exposing users to a massive pool of seemingly available partners within a single session. Users are invited to evaluate these profiles rapidly with a simple swipe of their thumb. Platform designs, which offer positive social feedback in the form of matches, heavily incentivize this continuous browsing behavior.
Prior research into consumer behavior suggests that having an abundance of options can make decisions harder and leave people feeling dissatisfied. Psychologists often refer to this phenomenon as a tyranny of choice. Under this theory, an optimal environment filled with endless choices increases the pressure to succeed. If a user fails to find a partner or makes a bad choice, they have no excuses left and might blame their own personal shortcomings.
Marina F. Thomas, a researcher at the Karl Landsteiner University of Health Sciences in Austria, led the investigation alongside Alice Binder and Jörg Matthes from the University of Vienna. They set out to test how the sheer number of viewed profiles and the user’s personal decision-making style jointly affect psychological well-being. The investigators wanted to test whether dating apps provide the self-validation users often seek or if the apps simply overwhelm them.
To frame their experiment, the researchers utilized regulatory mode theory. This psychological concept explains that people usually make decisions using one of two primary modes. The assessment mode involves methodically judging options, comparing specific attributes, and trying to make the right, defensible choice. The locomotion mode is action-oriented. People using this mode make quick, intuitive decisions based on gut feelings, primarily trying to keep moving forward rather than overthinking.
To test these dynamics, the researchers recruited 401 undergraduate students for an online experiment. Participants were randomly assigned to view varying pools of dating app profiles. One group viewed a low number of 11 profiles, a second group viewed a medium number of 31 profiles, and a third group viewed a high number of 91 profiles. The photos were presented in a mock dating application specially designed for the study.
The researchers used a two-part method to influence how participants made their decisions. First, participants completed a writing task to prime their mindset. They wrote down personal memories of times they acted as a quick decision maker to spark the action-oriented mode, or they wrote about times they critically compared themselves to others to spark the assessment mode. A control group skipped this writing exercise and received no special instructions.
Following the writing task, participants were given explicit instructions for evaluating the dating profiles. One group was told to evaluate profiles critically, looking at specific physical traits, clothing styles, and perceived social status to make highly justified decisions. The action-oriented group was instructed to swipe intuitively and dynamically, basing their choices purely on first impressions and gut feelings.
After sorting through the mock profiles, participants answered questions designed to measure several psychological outcomes. The researchers assessed their state self-esteem, their fear of being single, how highly they rated their own value as a potential romantic partner, and how overwhelmed they felt. The software also silently recorded the percentage of profiles each participant chose to accept.
The experiment revealed that looking at a higher number of options directly increased the feeling of being overwhelmed. Participants who looked at 91 profiles reported a heavier mental burden than those who viewed fewer profiles. Evaluating more options also resulted in lower overall acceptance rates. Participants became much pickier as the abundance of choices grew, accepting a smaller percentage of the people they saw.
Contrary to the tyranny of choice theory, the sheer volume of profiles did not negatively impact self-esteem or the participants’ fears regarding their relationship status. Instead, the specific way participants made their decisions produced the psychological shifts. The results showed that swiping intuitively based on gut feelings directly led to a drop in self-esteem.
Participants who followed the quick, action-oriented strategy reported lower self-esteem than those who swiped naturally without instructions, as well as those who used specific criteria to evaluate profiles. The intuitive group also rated their own personal value as a mate lower than the other groups did. The research team noted this was an unexpected outcome, as previous theories suggested that highly critical, criteria-based decision-making typically caused more stress and self-doubt in consumer settings.
The authors suspect that making intuitive choices places the entire burden of the decision on the user’s internal feelings rather than observable facts. Because romantic preferences are difficult to perfectly define, relying solely on unexplainable gut instincts might make users feel uneasy. As a result, they might misdirect that unease inward, causing them to doubt their own self-worth. By contrast, relying on concrete traits provides an external buffer that protects the ego from the weight of the decision.
Another possible explanation involves cognitive friction regarding the format of the dating app. A static dating profile primarily displays unmoving photos and brief text, which naturally lends itself to critical evaluation. Pushing users to react quickly and intuitively to static photos might create a mismatch between the task and the mental mode. Users might misinterpret this subtle mental mismatch as a personal inadequacy.
The chosen swiping strategy also influenced when participants started to feel mentally overloaded. For people using strict criteria or swiping naturally, looking at 31 profiles felt about as manageable as looking at 11 profiles. For those swiping based on gut instincts, the feeling of being overwhelmed spiked much earlier, hitting just as hard at 31 profiles as it did when evaluating 91 profiles.
While the experiment provides a detailed window into dating app use, the study has practical limitations depending on its simulated nature. The decisions made during the experiment carried no actual social consequences, meaning participants knew they would not go on real dates with the people they evaluated. In a functioning dating app, users might put varying levels of effort into their choices because real rejections or connections are at stake.
The study also relied on a sample composed largely of young college students evaluating portraits tailored specifically to their demographic. The authors noted that college students often work in environments that reward critical assessment, which might have made the intuitive swiping task feel unusually foreign. Future research should involve more diverse populations encompassing different age groups and educational backgrounds.
Future investigations could also track actual dating app behaviors over time to see how self-reported decision styles hold up outside a laboratory environment. Implementing technology like eye-tracking software could help researchers observe what kind of profile information users focus on naturally. This approach would allow scientists to study natural swiping mechanisms accurately without relying on explicit behavioral instructions.
The study, “Decision-Making on Dating Apps: Is Swiping More Less and Swiping Right Wrong?,” was authored by Marina F. Thomas, Alice Binder, and Jörg Matthes.
URL: https://www.psypost.org/why-swiping-by-gut-feeling-on-dating-apps-might-lower-your-self-esteem/
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#psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #DatingApps #SwipeRight #SelfEsteem #TyrannyOfChoice #IntuitiveSwipe #DecisionMaking #RomanticRelationships #ProfileEvaluation #PsychologyOfDating #DatingAppTips
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Participants needed for a top-ranked study from Aaron at Canterbury Christ Church University:
'A study of subjective experience of social media'
Link to the survey on SurveyCircle: https://www.surveycircle.com/VTK8SP/Take part now and support this research project 💜
#psychology #SocialMedia #emotion #positive #negative #online #SelfEsteem
#survey #surveyparticipants #mutualsupport #research #surveycircle #canterburychristchurchuniversity -
How to get validation for mental wellbeing
AIs: "Good job! You've done well, actually! Here's why...
<the reasons>" (Mental wellbeing ↑)AI sceptics: "Oh, since you used AIs before, what you sent to me is probably also AI slop. You need to rethink your so-called 'hobby'" (mental wellbeing ↓)
#ai #mentalhealth #technology #creativity #validation #writing #internet #humour #artists #selfesteem #online #culture #discussion #wellbeing #digital
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How to survive as an ugly man? (Yes, I’m the ugly one.)
#selfesteem #mentalhealth #confidence #growth #mindset #selfworth #relationships #life #reflection #psychology #wellbeing #identity #acceptance #emotions #humanity
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Ugly man (like me) → Woman: "I'm uncomfortable!"
Good-looking man → Woman: "Hey... Hi! (ʘᴗʘ✿)
#selfesteem #attraction #dating #mentalhealth #confidence #psychology #society #bias #reflection #emotions #selfawareness #relationships #mindset #growth #reality
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The Real Gift by Darlene Jajo
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/bRz1yT2ECTg https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0G2XWBSXG A children's book that all ages can releate to. Every child wants the perfect gift, that perfect gift that no one else has. This little book let's a child know the perfect gift and the real gift is that child.https://midnight-publishing.org/2026/04/18/the-real-gift-by-darlene-jajo/
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Book Review: How to Be Resilient by Gail Gazelle
In an increasingly scary, unpredictable and challenging world, Dr Gail Gazelle’s How to Be Resilient is a practical and compassionate guide that will empower you to find inner strength and inner calm needed to navigate life’s tough times.
Rating: 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
Genre: Self-Help, Personal Growth, Psychology, Mental Health
Publisher: Callisto
Review in one word: Empowering
Self-help books and books about resilience in particular are a dime a dozen nowadays. And so I almost rolled my eyes when I came across this book. But I was naturally drawn to it anyway and wanted to give it a go.
I was absolutely delighted to find that this book is not cliched or filled with overwrought and trite advice. Instead this is an indepth and extensive collection of theories all masterfully brought into the real world of actionable insights. collection of abstract theories but a roadmap filled with supportive advice and actionable exercises designed to help readers weather difficult times with courage and wisdom.
A physician at Harvard Medical School and a certified life coach, Dr Gazelle brings both medical expertise and a deep understanding of the human spirit to this accessible book.
This is a collection of wisdom from many difference evidence-based approaches that are packaged together in an accessible and helpful way. ‘How to be Resilient’ is structured to empower you step-by-step and begins by demystifying the concept of resilience, explaining the psychology behind it and the science of neuroplasticity, the brain’s remarkable ability to rewire itself in response to new habits and experiences.
From this foundation, Dr Gazelle guides the reader through a series of practices rooted in evidence-based fields such as positive psychology, mindfulness, and gratitude research. The book is organised very well and is not overly long-winded either, each chapter has clear takeaways that reinforce the main points.
The overarching theme is that resilience is not an innate trait possessed by a lucky few, but a flexible pool of strength that anyone can consciously cultivate and fortified with continued and dedicated practice.
Dr Gazelle focuses on several core pillars for building this strength: learning to be more adaptable in the face of change, cultivating meaningful connections with others, staying mindful of one’s thoughts and feelings without being overwhelmed by them, and prioritising self-care.
Her style is clear, encouraging, and direct, making complex psychological concepts easy to understand and apply. The tone is deeply supportive, caring and non-judgemental, acting as a trusted guide on the journey toward greater well-being.
How to Be Resilient provides readers with the techniques—from meditation and journalling to strategies for deepening relationships—to not just survive challenges, but to heal, move forward, and continue to enjoy life to the fullest.
I found this book to be one of the best I’ve ever read (and I have consumed 100’s of self-help books over the years), I cannot recommend this book more strongly to you!
Content Catnip
Follow me on Mastodon Watch my videos Donate to my Ko Fi #art #book #BookReview #BookReviews #bookTag #books #growth #mentalHealth #mentalhealth #nonFiction #psychology #resilience #selfEsteem #selfCare #selfImprovement #selfhelp #storytelling -
A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam of light which flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his thought, because it is his.
In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty. Great works of art have no more affecting lesson for us than this. They teach us to abide by our spontaneous impression with good-humored inflexibility then most when the whole cry of voices is on the other side. Else to-morrow a stranger will say with masterly good sense precisely what we have thought and felt all the time, and we shall be forced to take with shame our own opinion from another.Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) American essayist, lecturer, poet
Essay (1841), “Self-Reliance,” Essays: First Series, No. 2More about this quote: wist.info/emerson-ralph-waldo/…
#quote #quotes #quotation #qotd #emerson #ralphwaldoemerson #belief #believeinyourself #confidence #creativity #ego #genius #humility #idea #opinion #originality #pride #selfappreciation #selfapproval #selfbetrayal #selfcensorship #selfconfidence #selfconsciousness #selfcriticism #selfdefeating #selfdeprecating #selfeffacing #selfesteem #selfjudgment #selfquestioning #selfreproach #selfsabotage #selftrust #spontaneity #trustyourself
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Fun ‘Fashion Shoot’ Makes Residents in a Senior Home Feel 20 Years Younger
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How we see ourselves affects how we show up in our relationships. 🧠 Healthy body image starts from the inside out.
Explore the guide: https://healthyrelationships.cc/body-image-body-confidence/
#MentalHealth #SelfEsteem #BodyImage
https://healthyrelationships.cc/body-image-body-confidence/ -
I figured something out this month that I’ve missed for 34 years.
I’ve been measuring whether I’m “enough” as a person—whether the chooser is adequate—rather than evaluating my choices. That’s a category error. There is no yardstick for myself qua myself. Only for things I do.
The Trap
From #AynRand’s Atlas Shrugged, Galt’s speech:
Man has no choice about his need of #SelfEsteem, his only choice is the standard by which to gauge it. And he makes his fatal error when he switches this gauge protecting his life into the service of his own destruction, when he chooses a standard contradicting existence and sets his self-esteem against reality.
I’ve been measuring myself instead of my choices. Asking “Am I rational enough?” instead of “Am I exercising rationality in this choice?” Treating the volitional entity—the chooser—as if it were subject to pass/fail evaluation.
But you can’t be “wrong in person.” You can only make wrong choices. The chooser is the precondition for those concepts to mean anything.
The Invariant
The concept comes from topology: an invariant remains unchanged when a structure is transformed. @gregeganSF’s Diaspora explores this for consciousness—what persists across memory edits, substrate changes, simulated deaths.
The invariant isn’t the contents of consciousness. It’s the structure of being the thing that experiences. The observer. The integrator. The chooser.
Applied to #identity: I am an existent with volitional consciousness. That’s my identity, metaphysically. Not “I have consciousness” (dualism), but “I am” this integrated entity.
The invariant is the volitional structure itself. Everything else—memories, achievements, mistakes, consequences—is what that structure produces.
What I Wrote Before I Understood It
From my story “La Petite Mort”:
She wanted to keep being Thalindra. Wanted to keep having thoughts, even painful ones. Wanted to keep waking up every morning, tired and aching and alone, because waking up meant she was still there to do the waking. Wanted existence as what she was—this particular configuration that was specifically hers.
The preference was immediate. Simple. Undeniable. Hers.
And it was enough.
I gave my character what I couldn’t give myself: acceptance of the invariant without audit.
Now I have it too.
The Correction
I am the standard by which my choices are measured, not the thing being measured.
You evaluate actions. Not the volitional entity that generates them.
If you accept your choices as yours—made with what you knew, under your constraints—you can accept yourself. Not because you’ve proven worthiness. Because you are the chooser, and that’s A is A applied to you.
Clear. Weightless. Real.
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Yo-Yo Dieting May Actually be Good for You, Suggests New Study
Credit: Getty Images for Unsplash+ A new study indicates that yo-yo dieting might actually be good for you. Also known as weight cycling, repeatedly losing weight through dieting, only to regain it again—and often more pounds o…
#dining #cooking #diet #food #Nutrition #health #nutrition #obesity #perseverance #selfesteem #selfhelp
https://www.diningandcooking.com/2546447/yo-yo-dieting-may-actually-be-good-for-you-suggests-new-study/ -
Yo-Yo Dieting May Actually be Good for You, Suggests New Study https://www.diningandcooking.com/2546447/yo-yo-dieting-may-actually-be-good-for-you-suggests-new-study/ #diet #health #nutrition #obesity #perseverance #SelfEsteem #SelfHelp
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Yo-Yo Dieting May Actually be Good for You, Suggests New Study
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Why You Feel Rejected When Nothing is Happening: How to Stop Catastrophizing if Someone Doesn’t Text You Back
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A quotation from Marcus Aurelius
Often have I marvelled how each one of us loves himself above all men, yet sets less store by his own opinion of himself than by that of everyone else.
[Πολλάκις ἐθαύμασα πῶς ἑαυτὸν μὲν ἕκαστος μᾶλλον πάντων φιλεῖ, τὴν δὲ ἑαυτοῦ περὶ αὑτοῦ ὑπόληψιν ἐν ἐλάττονι λόγῳ τίθεται ἢ τὴν τῶν ἄλλων.]Marcus Aurelius (AD 121-180) Roman emperor (161-180), Stoic philosopher
Meditations [To Himself; Τὰ εἰς ἑαυτόν], Book 12, ch. 4 (12.4) (AD 161-180) [tr. Haines (Loeb) (1916)]More about (and translations of) this quote: wist.info/marcus-aureleus/4378…
#quote #quotes #quotation #qotd #marcusaurelius #marcusaureliusmeditations #codependency #ego #insecurity #integrity #opinion #opinionofothers #reputation #selfassessment #selfesteem #selfimage #selflove #selfopinion #support #validation #vanity
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“I got pulled into the head of the agency's office and he ... gave me a whole speech about how I was too fat for TV and I needed to lose weight.”
The only thing this woman ever needed to lose was the devils around her.
🖕Hollywood🖕
#Mental #Health #SelfSaboteur #SelfEsteem #Hollywood #Hypocrisy
https://people.com/kelly-osbourne-weight-loss-what-to-know-11776193
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Brit awards 2026: full list of winners https://www.theguardian.com/music/2026/mar/01/brit-awards-2026-full-list-of-winners #BritAwards #Music #PopAndRock #Rb #DanceMusic #Rap #Culture #AwardsAndPrizes #UkNews #Dave #OliviaDean #FredAgain #LittleSimz #Pinkpantheress #SamFender #SelfEsteem #WolfAlice #Pulp #WetLeg #LilyAllen #Cmat #Sault #Skepta #NoelGallagher #MarkRonson #OzzyOsbourne
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A quotation from La Rochefoucauld
If we did not flatter ourselves, the flattery of others could do us no harm.
[Si nous ne nous flattions point nous-mêmes, la flatterie des autres ne nous pourroit nuire.]François VI, duc de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680) French epigrammatist, memoirist, noble
Réflexions ou sentences et maximes morales [Reflections; or Sentences and Moral Maxims], ¶152 (1665-1678) [tr. Kronenberger (1959)]More about (and translations of) this quote: wist.info/la-rochefoucauld-fra…
#quote #quotes #quotation #qotd #larochefoucauld #adulation #blandishment #flattery #praise #selfcongratulations #selfdeception #selfesteem #selfglorification #selfpraising #selfregard #sycophancy
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Mrs Roach showed me a social medium post from a female tv presenter, who is celebrating a big milestone with a photo of themselves from their first episode and the traditional z-list cloud of vaguely related hashtags. Mrs Roach asked "How can she still look the same after 20 years?" to which I replied "she has aged well but she can't spell #aniversary"
#celebrity #ageing #solidarity #education #celebration #selfesteem #twaddle
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It's easy to develop issues with self esteem as a nonbinary person. On one hand you're told that you don't exist. On the other, you're accused of being or doing nearly every negative thing imaginable.
You are, in fact, worthy of all the good things in life just like other people, but it's okay if you don't believe it yet.
You'll get there.
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Every morning, at least one bird reminds me that it's not the strength of the perch that matters.
It's a trust in one's wings.
