#awakening — Public Fediverse posts

Unintended Harm: Are We Still Accountable? 💔🩹💖

As autistic people we have been punished mercilessly for crimes we had no idea we were committing, so it’s natural for us to feel like it’s totally unfair to be held accountable for harm we couldn’t have possibly predicted.

Nonetheless, it is vital to our healing, and our sanity, that we hold ourselves accountable for harm whether we intended it or not. Because if we carry the belief that feeling wronged is only valid if the wrongdoer intended it, then we’ll believe our OWN feelings of being wronged are only valid if the wrongdoer intended it. And since we NEED our feelings to be valid, we’ll NEED the wrongdoer to have intent, so we’ll end up pinning intent on people who just didn’t know any better.

Instead of thinking of it as admitting fault, think of it as acknowledging harm. We need to stop being lawyers and start being humans. Yes, we didn’t know better, we couldn’t have been expected to know better, we did the best we knew how to do - but - we recognize, and care, that someone got hurt, and we wish that hadn’t happened.

If we don’t apologize for unintended harm, the harmed party learns we care more about being right than we do about their pain. People don’t feel safe around people who don’t care whether they suffer or not, and that’s perfectly reasonable.

#asd #actuallyautistic #autistic #autism #neurodivergence #awakening #awareness #findingyourself #selfwork #weareallconnected #cptsd #healing #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy

Unintended Harm: Are We Still Accountable? 💔🩹💖

As autistic people we have been punished mercilessly for crimes we had no idea we were committing, so it’s natural for us to feel like it’s totally unfair to be held accountable for harm we couldn’t have possibly predicted.

Nonetheless, it is vital to our healing, and our sanity, that we hold ourselves accountable for harm whether we intended it or not. Because if we carry the belief that feeling wronged is only valid if the wrongdoer intended it, then we’ll believe our OWN feelings of being wronged are only valid if the wrongdoer intended it. And since we NEED our feelings to be valid, we’ll NEED the wrongdoer to have intent, so we’ll end up pinning intent on people who just didn’t know any better.

Instead of thinking of it as admitting fault, think of it as acknowledging harm. We need to stop being lawyers and start being humans. Yes, we didn’t know better, we couldn’t have been expected to know better, we did the best we knew how to do - but - we recognize, and care, that someone got hurt, and we wish that hadn’t happened.

If we don’t apologize for unintended harm, the harmed party learns we care more about being right than we do about their pain. People don’t feel safe around people who don’t care whether they suffer or not, and that’s perfectly reasonable.

#asd #actuallyautistic #autistic #autism #neurodivergence #awakening #awareness #findingyourself #selfwork #weareallconnected #cptsd #healing #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy

Victim Blaming 💔🩹💖 Clip from “Imagining Trauma as Spilled Milk”

👇🏻Full video, more content, and 💸🎁 me 👇🏻
lindsaymakesvideos.com

Sometimes we have to clean messes other people made in our lives, even if it’s not fair.

Some may see that perspective as victim blaming, but I only talk about cleaning up our own milk. You’ll never hear me say it’s our fault it got spilled. You’ll never hear me say that we can punch ourselves with someone else’s fist. We’re responsible for our trauma healing, we’re accountable for our trauma responses, but we are not at fault for the trauma itself.

And damn right it’s not fair. But nothing about life, from an individual perspective, is fair. We are all handed messes we didn’t choose, but still have to deal with. Our bodies, culture, illnesses, accidents, disasters, tragedies, lack of privilege? Not fair.

Trauma is no different. It’s another one of life’s random-ass challenges we gotta maneuver ourselves through.

The reason I talk about what we traumatized people can do to help ourselves, and not what abusers should do to help us, is because focusing on what other people should do feels pointless. I talk about ideas that help me, and that would not help me at all. I’d feel like I was hosting a circle jerk for self pity.

So how about we accomplish something worthwhile together and clean our fucking floors? 😜

#actuallyautistic #neurodivergence #awakening #awareness #findingyourself #selfwork #cptsd #healing #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy

Victim Blaming 💔🩹💖 Clip from “Imagining Trauma as Spilled Milk”

👇🏻Full video, more content, and 💸🎁 me 👇🏻
lindsaymakesvideos.com

Sometimes we have to clean messes other people made in our lives, even if it’s not fair.

Some may see that perspective as victim blaming, but I only talk about cleaning up our own milk. You’ll never hear me say it’s our fault it got spilled. You’ll never hear me say that we can punch ourselves with someone else’s fist. We’re responsible for our trauma healing, we’re accountable for our trauma responses, but we are not at fault for the trauma itself.

And damn right it’s not fair. But nothing about life, from an individual perspective, is fair. We are all handed messes we didn’t choose, but still have to deal with. Our bodies, culture, illnesses, accidents, disasters, tragedies, lack of privilege? Not fair.

Trauma is no different. It’s another one of life’s random-ass challenges we gotta maneuver ourselves through.

The reason I talk about what we traumatized people can do to help ourselves, and not what abusers should do to help us, is because focusing on what other people should do feels pointless. I talk about ideas that help me, and that would not help me at all. I’d feel like I was hosting a circle jerk for self pity.

So how about we accomplish something worthwhile together and clean our fucking floors? 😜

#actuallyautistic #neurodivergence #awakening #awareness #findingyourself #selfwork #cptsd #healing #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy

Autism & Gaslighting Trauma 💔🩹💖 The need to live in a shared reality

▶ Video links - lindsaymakesvideos.com

There’s an inevitable ‘autism-to-gaslighting trauma’ pipeline, because we have fierce aversions to discomforts that feel very minor to allistic and neurotypical people.

We learn that our experiences won’t be taken seriously, our needs will not be met, and we won’t be socially accepted, unless our experience is shared by others.

We need more time to process information, and we often need it presented in a particular way for it to make sense to us. Otherwise we’re confused, that confusion is emotionally dysregulating, and the outward presentation of that dysregulation is harshly judged.

#asd #actuallyautistic #autistic #autism #neurodivergence #adhd #audhd #awakening #awareness #consciousness #findingyourself #selfwork #spiritualawakening #cptsd #ptsd #healing #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy #unmasking

Autism & Gaslighting Trauma 💔🩹💖 The need to live in a shared reality

▶ Video links - lindsaymakesvideos.com

There’s an inevitable ‘autism-to-gaslighting trauma’ pipeline, because we have fierce aversions to discomforts that feel very minor to allistic and neurotypical people.

We learn that our experiences won’t be taken seriously, our needs will not be met, and we won’t be socially accepted, unless our experience is shared by others.

We need more time to process information, and we often need it presented in a particular way for it to make sense to us. Otherwise we’re confused, that confusion is emotionally dysregulating, and the outward presentation of that dysregulation is harshly judged.

#asd #actuallyautistic #autistic #autism #neurodivergence #adhd #audhd #awakening #awareness #consciousness #findingyourself #selfwork #spiritualawakening #cptsd #ptsd #healing #traumahealing #selfawareness #selfadvocacy #unmasking