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#emotional-wellbeing — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #emotional-wellbeing, aggregated by home.social.
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Genetic Factors Linked To Nightmares and Poor Mental Health Show Substantial Overlap
OpenAI’s DALL·E Agenotyping study involving tens of thousands of individuals in Finland identified a significant overlap between genetic factors linked to nightmares and those associated with anxiety, depression, posttraumatic stress disorder, and neuroticism. The study also found that individuals with insomnia were more likely to experience frequent nightmares. The research was published in Translational Psychiatry.Nightmares are vivid and unsettling dreams that typically result in […] -
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#FrederickDodson #ParallelUniversesOfSelf #ShiftYourAttention #EmotionalAwareness #Consciousness #Mindfulness #SelfAwareness #PowerOfAttention #EmotionalWellbeing #InnerPeace #PresentMoment #ConsciousLiving #PersonalTransformation #PositiveEnergy #MindsetShift #ThoughtsCreateReality #SpiritualGrowth #IntentionalLiving #SelfEmpowerment #ThePowerOfFocus
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Prioritize your oral health today to protect your overall well-being.
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#OralHealth #CancerPrevention #Wellness #Wellbeing #HealthyHabits #Health #Biohacking #Biohackers #HealthyAging #WellnessLifestyle #EmotionalWellbeing #WellnessCommunity #WellnessAdvocate #WellbeingJourney https://mastodon.social/@biohackingpathway/117450731467388339 -
High-Functioning Anxiety: Signs You Might Miss
You hit the deadline. You remember birthdays. You show up early. You get compliments for being “so on top of it.” And still – your stomach is tight, your mind is racing, and relaxing feels strangely unsafe. That’s the confusing reality many people describe as high-functioning anxiety. It’s not a formal diagnosis you’ll find in the DSM, but it’s a very real lived experience: anxiety that hides behind performance, productivity, and competence. From the outside, you look fine. On […]https://onlinemarketingscoops.com/2026/10/15/high-functioning-anxiety-signs-you-might-miss/
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Loneliness May Raise Risk of Dying From Cancer New Study Warns
Greater feelings of loneliness and social isolation were associated with a higher risk of mortality among cancer survivors, according to a retrospective longitudinal study. Over the study period of 10 years, cancer survivors with higher loneliness scores on the UCLA Loneliness Scale had higher mortality risk compared with those who had low/no loneliness scores, following a dose-response association: Mild loneliness: adjusted HR 1.19 (95% CI 0.86-1.63) Moderate loneliness: aHR 1.41 (95% CI […] -
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How To Handle Jealous Feelings
Jealousy (1907) by Edvard Munch. Courtesy the Munch Museum/Wikipedia Jealousy can rear its head in many ways. Have you ever felt displeased and resentful that a partner showed someone else ‘too much’ attention? Or that they spoke fondly about an ex? Or maybe you’ve felt unsettled when a best friend or a family member made social plans that didn’t include you? In situations like these, your feelings of jealousy might gnaw at you under the surface, or you could feel so hurt that you […]https://onlinemarketingscoops.com/2026/10/14/how-to-handle-jealous-feelings/
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Moreover, it can help manage weight, reduce the risk of type 2 diabetes, and even support mental well-being by lowering the chances of depression. Make the change for a healthier, happier you!
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Scared of The Dentist? Here’s How To Cope
Dominic Kesterton For Hope Alcocer, the diagnosis was grim: 11 cavities. Inflamed gums. A tooth in need of a root canal. As the list of problems grew, so did her feelings of shame and fear. Shame that she had waited more than a decade to seek care. And fear because she could no longer avoid the dentist. Her anxiety stemmed from an experience as a teenager, when her dentist brushed aside her concerns that she wasn’t numb enough before filling a cavity….Continue reading…. By Christina […]https://onlinemarketingscoops.com/2026/10/13/scared-of-the-dentist-heres-how-to-cope/
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DATE: October 11, 2026 at 08:51PM
SOURCE: SCIENCE DAILY PSYCHOLOGY FEEDTITLE: Just 10 minutes of daily exercise could unlock deeper sleep
URL: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2026/10/261008102721.htm
Getting better sleep might be as simple as moving a little more every day. Researchers at The University of Texas at Austin found that people who exercised more frequently experienced more deep, restorative sleep, which is essential for brain recovery, memory, and emotional well-being. Surprisingly, just 10 minutes of moderate to vigorous exercise per day was associated with measurable benefits, while even light activities like walking and standing breaks were linked to better sleep and mood.
URL: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2026/10/261008102721.htm
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DATE: October 11, 2026 at 08:51PM
SOURCE: SCIENCE DAILY MIND-BRAIN FEEDTITLE: Just 10 minutes of daily exercise could unlock deeper sleep
URL: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2026/10/261008102721.htm
Getting better sleep might be as simple as moving a little more every day. Researchers at The University of Texas at Austin found that people who exercised more frequently experienced more deep, restorative sleep, which is essential for brain recovery, memory, and emotional well-being. Surprisingly, just 10 minutes of moderate to vigorous exercise per day was associated with measurable benefits, while even light activities like walking and standing breaks were linked to better sleep and mood.
URL: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2026/10/261008102721.htm
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DATE: October 11, 2026 at 02:00PM
SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
-------------------------------------------------TITLE: People who worry more tend to have more negative dreams, study finds
URL: https://www.psypost.org/people-who-worry-more-tend-to-have-more-negative-dreams-study-finds/
Among 389 Italian adults, stress emerged as the most central element in a web of connections linking worry, anxiety and depression, according to a study published in BMC Psychology. People who reported more worry and more depressive symptoms also tended to report more negative dreams, a pattern consistent with the idea that waking concerns carry over into sleep.
Dreams have long been associated with people’s emotional lives. The continuity hypothesis of dreaming proposes that concerns and feelings from waking life can continue into sleep and influence dream experiences. For example, people under pressure may dream about threatening or emotionally intense events.
However, it is difficult to determine how different dream experiences relate to different forms of distress. A person may remember dreams frequently without finding them upsetting, while another person may rarely recall dreams but feel strongly affected by the dreams they do remember. Research on dreams and research on worry, which has been linked to poorer sleep, have also largely been conducted separately.
Vittorio Lenzo of the University of Catania in Italy led a team investigating these relationships. The researchers surveyed 389 Italian-speaking adults recruited through university mailing lists, social media and online blogs. Participants were 18 to 64 years old, with an average age of about 24, and the sample included 330 women, 50 men and nine non-binary participants.
Participants completed an online survey containing three questionnaires. The Mannheim Dream Questionnaire asked how often people recalled their dreams, how emotionally intense their dreams were, how positive or negative their dreams usually felt, how often dreams affected their daytime mood and how often they told other people about their dreams. Each of these features was measured with a single question.
The Penn State Worry Questionnaire measured pathological worry, meaning persistent and difficult-to-control thoughts about possible future problems. Participants also completed the Depression Anxiety Stress Scale, which measures symptoms related to depression, anxiety and stress.
Lenzo and colleagues then used network analysis. In this type of analysis, each psychological feature is treated as a point in a network, and the connections between points represent how strongly two features are related after accounting for all the others. This approach can show which variables are most strongly linked to the rest of the network.
On average, participants reported high levels of worry, enough to be considered clinically elevated compared with normative data. Depression, anxiety and stress formed a closely connected cluster, with the strongest connection between anxiety and stress. Worry was most strongly associated with stress and only weakly with anxiety and depression, which the authors suggest may reflect worry’s role in sustaining prolonged tension.
Within the dream measures, people who recalled their dreams more often were also more likely to tell others about them, the strongest connection in the entire network. Frequent dream recall was moderately associated with more emotionally intense dreams, which were in turn linked with the feeling that dreams affected daytime mood.
The links between dreams and distress were weaker. People whose dreams tended to be more negative in tone reported more depressive symptoms and more worry, and people who felt their dreams affected their daytime mood reported more anxiety. The authors note that this pattern fits the continuity hypothesis, since people who worry a great deal may carry that vigilance into sleep.
Stress was the most central variable in the overall network, meaning it had the strongest total connections to the other variables, while depression, dream recall and dream intensity were among the least central. Dream emotional tone had what researchers call a negative expected influence, meaning its connections to the rest of the network ran mostly in the opposite direction from those of distress.
The authors concluded that “dream experiences are integrated components of a dynamic system of emotional functioning.” They suggest that more positive dream experiences might help dampen distress, while stress may amplify it. They also propose that worry and depression could lead to more negative dreams, which might in turn feed next-day anxiety, though both ideas require testing in studies that follow people over time.
There are a few things to keep in mind. Because the data were collected at a single point in time, the study cannot show whether dreams influence distress, whether distress shapes dreams, or both. The participants were a convenience sample of mostly young women recruited online, which limits how far the findings can be generalized.
All information was self-reported, and dream experiences depend on people’s memories, which may introduce bias. Each dream feature was measured with a single question, the connections between dreams and distress were small, and while the network was generally stable when tested using repeated statistical resampling, some individual connections were less certain.
The study, “Dream experiences and psychological distress: a network analysis of pathological worry, depression, anxiety, and stress,” was authored by Vittorio Lenzo, Chiara Fioretti, Alessandro Musetti, Raffaele De Luca Picione, Christian Franceschini, Patrizia Strano, Maria C. Quattropani and Alberto Sardella.
URL: https://www.psypost.org/people-who-worry-more-tend-to-have-more-negative-dreams-study-finds/
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https://www.europesays.com/ie/729202/ Kushal Tandon on World Mental Health Day: You can have everything on the outside and still have your own battles going on inside #Alliance #CelebrityStruggles #Éire #EmotionalWellBeing #FameAndMentalHealth #Health #IE #Ireland #KushalTandon #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #MentalHealthSupport #MentalHealth #PublicScrutiny #SocialMediaImpact #WorldMentalHealthDay
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Syncing your eating habits with your body's clock can enhance your health and energy levels.
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Understanding this complex relationship is crucial for your overall health and wellbeing.
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Remember, balance is essential for maintaining optimal health!
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WHEN LIFE INTERRUPTS THE MUSIC; Series 4
Returning With a Different Perspective
Sometimes, you return to the place you left, but you are no longer the person who left.
Coming Home With “Nothing”
I did not plan the return.
There was no carefully prepared timeline. No grand announcement. No sense that everything had worked out exactly as I had hoped.
It was sudden, unplanned, and, at the time, it felt almost like the end.
After a long period of labour and a series of unpleasant experiences, I found myself going back home with what, from the outside, looked like nothing.
No significant achievement to announce.
No great story of success. No evidence that things had gone according to plan.
Just me, returning home.
I remember the feeling.
There is a particular kind of disappointment that comes when reality does not resemble the picture you had imagined.
You leave home believing you are going to build something.
You worked, endured, and made sacrifices.
You keep hoping.
And then, unexpectedly, you find yourself coming back, wondering what exactly you have to show for the journey.
But something happened when I arrived home that I did not expect.
My Children Were There.
They were shocked.
Then excited.
My wife was happy to see me.
And in the middle of everything I had been carrying, something shifted.
For a moment, I wasn’t thinking about what I had lost.
I wasn’t thinking about what had gone wrong.
I wasn’t thinking about what I had hoped to accomplish.
I was simply home.
And there was a little joy in that.
It was not the kind of joy that solved every problem.
It did not suddenly change my circumstances.
But it reminded me of something I had perhaps allowed the pursuit of other things to overshadow:
There are things more valuable than the achievements we spend our lives chasing.
Sometimes, Coming Home Is Not Going Back
Before that experience, I might have looked at returning home as simply moving backwards.
But I began to see it differently.
I was not returning as the same person who had left.
I had experiences I did not have before.
I had been tested in ways I had not anticipated.
I had encountered uncertainty.
I had experienced rejection.
I had learned to function in unfamiliar circumstances.
I had discovered things about myself.
And perhaps most importantly, I had developed a different understanding of what really matters.
So although the return looked like a setback, I was carrying something home with me that could not be seen in a suitcase.
Perspective. Experience. Wisdom. Humility. Resilience.
And a deeper appreciation for family.
The Season Was Heavy
The months that followed were not easy. I was given one month notice to evacuation where I was staying with my family.
There were days of uncertainty. There were disappointments.
There were moments when rejection made me question what was next.
There were times when I had to confront the emotional weight of everything that had happened. My blood pressure rose up.
I also had to navigate other difficult personal seasons that affected me physically and emotionally.
There were moments when the pressure felt overwhelming. Some came from people who were supposed to encourage and support me at my down moment.
But somewhere along the way, I came to a realisation:
I am too loaded to give up now.
I don’t mean that life suddenly became easy. It didn’t.
I mean that I had accumulated too much experience, too many lessons, too much responsibility, too much love, too much purpose, and too much understanding to allow one difficult chapter to become the conclusion of my story.
I had people depending on me. I had people I had influenced. I had things I still wanted to contribute. I had lessons that had cost me something to learn.
And I began to understand that survival itself can sometimes be an act of courage.
My Perspective About Family Changed
Coming home changed the way I looked at family. Sometimes, we can become so focused on providing, achieving, building, and pursuing that we forget that the people we are building for are also part of the reward.
Coming home and seeing my children again reminded me that presence has value.
Not everything meaningful can be measured by income.
Not everything important can be displayed as an achievement.
Sometimes, sitting with your family after a difficult season is itself a victory.
My wife’s happiness at seeing me reminded me that partnership is not only about celebrating success together.
Sometimes, it is about having someone who is simply glad that you are home.
That changed something in me.
My Perspective About Music Changed
My relationship with music also changed. Before, I could easily think about music in terms of achievement, performance, growth, opportunities, and professional development.
But after everything I had experienced, music began to feel deeper.
I began to see it not merely as something I do, but as something through which I can serve, teach, communicate, influence, encourage, and connect with people.
I became more interested in the person behind the musician.
- What does music do to someone’s confidence?
- How does training shape discipline?
- How can a teacher help a young person discover potential?
- How can leadership develop people rather than simply produce performances?
These questions became more important to me.
My experiences had changed the questions I asked.
And sometimes, a change in the questions is evidence that growth has already begun.
My Perspective About Leadership Changed
Leadership also began to look different. I had previously thought a lot about building. Building teams. Building musicians. Building programmes. Building curriculums. Building platforms.
But difficult seasons taught me something about leadership that success cannot always teach:
People need leaders who understand what it means to struggle.
You cannot always lead from a position of strength.
Sometimes you lead while rebuilding.
Sometimes you encourage others while you are still finding your own footing.
Sometimes you have to admit that you don’t have all the answers.
Sometimes leadership is simply refusing to surrender your responsibility to hope.
That experience gave me greater empathy for people who are struggling silently.
I became less interested in judging people’s seasons and more interested in understanding them.
Rejection Does Not Have to Become Identity
One of the difficult things about rejection is that it can become personal.
An opportunity is rejected, and we begin to think we are rejected.
A plan fails, and we begin to think we are failures.
A door closes, and we begin to believe there are no more doors.
I had to learn to separate an experience from my identity.
A rejection is an event. It is not necessarily a definition.
A difficult season is a season. It is not necessarily a destination.
A failed plan is a failed plan. It does not automatically mean a failed person.
That distinction became important as I began rebuilding.
I Had to Learn to Live Without Having Everything Figured Out
There is a pressure many adults carry—the pressure to know what comes next.
We want the plan, the timeline, the certainty, the answer.
But life does not always give us those things. Sometimes you have to take the next step without seeing the entire road.
That was one of the lessons this season taught me.
I could not control everything that had happened.
I could not immediately control what would happen next.
But I could control how I responded.
I could keep learning, working, showing up, loving my family, developing people, keep creating and believing that the story was not finished.
That was enough for the next step.
I Came Back, But I Did Not Come Back Empty
This is perhaps the biggest lesson of this chapter.
I initially thought I was coming home with “nothing”
But I eventually realised I was carrying a lot.
I came back with experience. I came back with stories. I came back with lessons.
I came back with a deeper appreciation for family.
I came back with a different understanding of leadership.
I came back with a broader perspective on people.
I came back with greater resilience.
I came back with a clearer understanding of what matters.
And I came back with a renewed appreciation for the gift of music.
Perhaps I did not return with everything I wanted.
But I returned with something I needed:
Perspective.
The Person Who Left Is Not the Person Who Returned
This is what I want to emphasize most.
Sometimes we define success by what we bring back.
The money. The position. The certificate. The business. The opportunity. The achievement.
But perhaps we should also ask:
Who did the journey make you?
Because sometimes, you return with fewer possessions but greater wisdom.
You return with fewer answers but better questions.
You return with fewer plans but greater clarity.
You return with less certainty but greater resilience.
You return thinking you have lost something, only to discover that you have gained a deeper understanding of yourself.
That was my experience.
And Now, Another Birthday
As I celebrate my birthday today, October 5, I find myself reflecting differently on the journey.
I don’t want to pretend that I have arrived. I haven’t. There are still things I am working toward.
There are still questions I don’t have answers to.
There are still areas of my life that require growth.
There are still dreams waiting for expression.
But I can say one thing with honesty:
I am not the same person I used to be.
And perhaps that is worth celebrating.
Not because everything is perfect. Not because every prayer has been answered. Not because every plan has worked.
But because I am still here. Still learning. Still building. Still loving. Still teaching. Still creating. Still dreaming. Still becoming.
I May Not Be There Yet
I have learned to appreciate this sentence:
“I may not be there yet.”
There is humility in it.
But there is also hope. It means I recognise the distance between where I am and where I want to be.
It means I refuse to pretend.
But it also means I haven’t given up.
I may not be where I thought I would be by now.
But I am not where I used to be. And that matters.
Growth is not always dramatic. Sometimes it is simply becoming more intentional, more patient, more aware, more grateful, more resilient, more responsible, more compassionate, more willing to learn, more comfortable with the process.
The Lesson I Carry Forward
If the past few years have taught me anything, it is this:
Life can interrupt your plans without destroying your purpose.
You can lose an opportunity and still find yourself.
You can return home and still move forward.
You can experience rejection and still have value.
You can go through an unfamiliar season and still develop capacity.
You can feel like you have nothing and still be carrying something priceless.
And sometimes, the person who emerges from the difficult season is better equipped for the next chapter than the person who entered it.
“Sometimes, returning is not going back. It is coming home with a perspective that only the journey could have given you.”— Victor Adenola
A Reflection for You
Perhaps you are also in a season that doesn’t look like what you planned.
Maybe you have had to return.
Maybe something you built has ended.
Maybe an opportunity didn’t work out.
Maybe you have experienced rejection.
Maybe you are rebuilding.
Maybe you feel as though you have very little to show for the years you have invested.
Please don’t be too quick to measure your life only by what you can show.
Ask yourself:
- What has the journey built inside me?
- What have I learned?
- How have I changed?
- What capacity have I developed?
- Who have I become?
- Who have I influenced?
- What do I understand now that I didn’t understand before?
Because sometimes, the greatest evidence that a season was not wasted is not what you acquired. It is who you became.
And as I celebrate another year, that is where I find some of my gratitude.
I may not be where I want to be.
But I am not where I used to be.
And I am still becoming.
Coming Next — Series 5: When the Music Plays Again
After the pause, the interruption, the unfamiliar season, the ending, the return, and the lessons, one question remains:
What happens when you are ready to play again?
Perhaps the goal is not to recreate the music exactly as it was before.
Perhaps the next movement requires everything the journey has taught you.
In Series 5, I reflect on new beginnings, intentionality, purpose, family, music, and the courage to begin again—not as the person you were, but as the person you have become.
#commitment #consistency #courage #creativity #EmotionalWellBeing #Intentionality #musicians #performance #Purpose #retreat #Victoradenola -
WHEN LIFE INTERRUPTS THE MUSIC; Series 3
Finding Yourself in the Interruption
Sometimes, life takes you somewhere you never planned to go—and in that unfamiliar place, you begin to discover a different version of yourself.
There are seasons when you think you understand the next chapter of your life.
You have a plan. You know what you are good at. You know what you want to do.
You may even have a clear picture of how you expect the journey to unfold.
Then an opportunity comes along, and suddenly, everything changes.
Some years ago, I had an opportunity to begin something new outside my home country.
I went with the expectation that music would remain at the centre of what I was doing.
After all, music had been such a significant part of my life.
It was familiar. It was what I knew. It was where I had experience, confidence, and a sense of identity.
But life had a different arrangement.
I found myself having to do things that were not related to music at all.
It was unfamiliar territory.
And, for a period, I struggled with it.
When What You Do No Longer Matches Who You Think You Are
There is something uncomfortable about finding yourself in an environment where your previous experience does not seem to carry the same weight.
You know what you can do. You know what you have accomplished. You know the areas where you are confident.
But suddenly, you are doing something completely different. You are learning new things. Starting from unfamiliar ground. Adjusting to a different environment. Trying to understand new expectations.
And somewhere in that process, a question can begin to emerge:
“Who am I now?”
I experienced some of that.
For years, music had given me a strong sense of identity. I knew what I was doing when I was teaching. I knew what I was doing when I was leading musicians. I knew what I was doing behind the piano. I knew how to communicate musical ideas. I knew how to develop people musically.
But being placed in situations outside that familiar world challenged me differently. There were things I had to learn from the beginning. There were situations where I was not the expert. There were moments when my previous musical identity did not provide an immediate answer.
And that was humbling.
The Unfamiliar Can Be a Classroom
At first, it can be tempting to think:
“This has nothing to do with my purpose.”
I could have easily looked at those experiences as interruptions—something outside the path I believed I was supposed to be following.
But with the benefit of hindsight, I now see them differently. They were not wasted years. They were capacity-building years.
I was developing abilities that I did not realise I would eventually need.
I was learning how to adapt.
- How to communicate with different kinds of people.
- How to function in unfamiliar environments.
- How to handle responsibilities outside my comfort zone.
- How to observe before assuming.
- How to learn from people who had different experiences from mine.
- How to work through uncertainty.
- How to remain useful even when I was not operating from my strongest area.
Those lessons eventually became part of the person I brought back into music.
I Was Learning More Than I Realised
Sometimes growth is happening while we are busy wondering why we are not where we expected to be.
That season taught me that not every valuable experience will look relevant at the time you are experiencing it.
Some lessons need time before their relevance becomes obvious.
The communication skills I developed became useful in leadership.
The adaptability I developed became useful in music education.
The patience I learned became useful in mentoring.
The understanding of people became useful in relationships.
The experience of navigating unfamiliar environments influenced how I approached family and responsibility.
The ability to function outside my comfort zone helped me become more flexible as a professional.
In other words, I wasn’t simply doing something unrelated to music.
I was becoming a person who could approach music differently.
Capacity Is Often Built Outside Your Main Skill
This is one of the lessons I wish more people understood.
We often focus on developing the skill that defines our profession.
A musician practises music.
A teacher studies teaching.
A businessperson learns business.
A leader studies leadership.
But sometimes, the capacity you need most is developed somewhere else.
A musician may need communication skills.
A teacher may need emotional intelligence.
A leader may need patience.
A business owner may need resilience.
A parent may need adaptability.
A creative person may need discipline.
And these qualities are not always developed in the places where we expect to find them.
Sometimes life takes us outside our speciality precisely because we need to develop something beyond our speciality.
I Had to Become Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Being unfamiliar with something can affect your confidence.
When you are accustomed to being competent, being a beginner again can be uncomfortable.
You may find yourself asking questions you would normally be expected to answer.
You may make mistakes.
You may need help.
You may have to observe others.
You may discover that your previous achievements do not automatically make you excellent in a new environment.
But there is humility in being a learner.
And there is strength in admitting:
“I don’t know this yet, but I can learn.”
That mindset became important to me. It helped me understand that competence is not only about knowing what to do.
Sometimes, competence is knowing how to learn what you don’t know.
The Experience Changed How I See Leadership
My understanding of leadership became broader.
Previously, it was easy to associate leadership with directing people toward a goal.
But unfamiliar experiences taught me what it feels like to be the person who is learning, adjusting, and depending on others for understanding.
That perspective matters.
A leader who has never been a learner may struggle to understand the vulnerability of those they lead.
But when you have experienced being outside your comfort zone, you may become more patient with someone else’s learning process.
You begin to understand why people need encouragement.
Why mistakes can be part of development.
Why correction should not destroy confidence.
Why people sometimes need someone to believe in them before they believe in themselves.
These lessons have influenced how I approach mentoring and music education.
It Changed the Way I See Relationships
Living and working outside my familiar environment also gave me a different perspective on people.
You discover that people can have completely different ways of communicating, working, thinking, and responding.
You learn that what seems obvious to you may not be obvious to someone else.
You learn to ask questions. You learn to listen. You learn not to assume.
And those are not merely professional skills. They are relationship skills.
They matter in marriage, parenting, friendship, leadership, and in music.
In fact, the more I have learned about music, the more convinced I have become that good musicianship requires many of the same qualities that healthy relationships require—listening, awareness, timing, sensitivity, communication, and adjustment.
I Returned With More Than I Left With
When I eventually looked back at that season, I realised something.
I had gone into it thinking primarily about what I would do.
I came out of it with a deeper understanding of who I was becoming.
That distinction changed my perspective.
I didn’t simply return with professional experience. I returned with life experience.
I had developed capacity. I had seen things from another perspective. I had experienced unfamiliar responsibilities. I had learned from environments outside my normal world.
And all of that became part of how I approached music, leadership, mentoring, relationships, and family.
The interruption had changed the musician because it had changed the person.
Perhaps the Season Was Not Taking Me Away
This is something I think about often.
When we are in an unfamiliar season, we can easily assume we are moving away from our purpose.
But what if we are actually being prepared for a broader expression of it?
What if the experience we are calling a detour is developing something we will need later?
What if the season that feels unrelated is actually expanding our capacity?
What if the pause is not removing us from the journey but preparing us for the next movement?
I cannot say that every difficult experience has a predetermined purpose.
But I can say that we can choose to learn from our experiences rather than allowing them to become wasted seasons.
That choice matters.
Don’t Waste Your Unfamiliar Season
If you are currently doing something that seems unrelated to what you believe you are called to do, don’t be too quick to dismiss the experience.
Pay attention.
What is it teaching you? Are you becoming more disciplined? More adaptable? More patient? More observant? More compassionate? More resourceful? More confident in unfamiliar environments? Are you learning how people think? Are you learning how organisations function? Are you learning how to manage pressure? Are you learning how to communicate? Are you developing skills that your current profession may eventually need?
You may not see the connection today.
But that does not mean there isn’t one.
The Music Was Still There
Interestingly, even when I was doing things outside music, music had not disappeared from me.
The experience was simply changing the way I understood it.
I began to appreciate that being a musician is not only about playing an instrument.
It is also about how you think.
How you listen, relate, solve problems, how you respond when things do not go according to plan, how you lead, teach, adapt, communicate.
The music was still there.
I was simply hearing it differently.
What That Season Taught Me
Looking back, I would summarise the lessons this way:
- An unfamiliar season is not necessarily a wasted season.
- Your current role does not completely define your identity.
- Capacity can be developed outside your primary field.
- Being a beginner again can build humility and adaptability.
- Life experiences can reshape how you lead and mentor others.
- What you learn about people can become as valuable as what you learn about your profession.
- Sometimes, life expands you before it expands your platform.
And perhaps the most important lesson for me:
“Some seasons may take you outside the music, but they can still prepare you to make better music, lead better, mentor better, and live better.”— Victor Adenola
A Reflection for You
Maybe you are in an unfamiliar place right now.
Maybe you are doing work that has nothing to do with what you studied.
Maybe you are building a business while waiting for another opportunity.
Maybe your career has taken an unexpected turn.
Maybe you have moved to a new environment.
Maybe you are carrying responsibilities you never planned for.
Maybe you are wondering whether you have lost your way.
Before you conclude that the season is wasted, pause and ask:
“What capacity is this season building in me?”
You may not have chosen the classroom.
You may not have chosen the lesson.
You may not even understand its relevance yet.
But don’t leave the classroom empty-handed.
- Learn
- Observe
- Adapt
- Grow
Because one day, you may look back and realise that the season you thought had taken you away from your purpose was actually preparing you to approach your purpose with greater depth.
Coming Next — Series 4: Returning With a Different Perspective
After experiencing unfamiliar places, changed responsibilities, difficult decisions, and seasons of personal growth, returning to what you love can feel different.
You don’t return as the same person who left.
In Series 4, I reflect on what it means to return to music, leadership, relationships, and purpose with a different perspective—and why sometimes the goal is not to go back, but to move forward with what the journey has taught you.
#art #churchchoir #commitment #consistency #courage #creativity #CulturalAwareness #EmotionalWellBeing #Intentionality #mindfulness #music #musicians #Passion #Purpose #Victoradenola -
WHEN LIFE INTERRUPTS THE MUSIC; Series 2
What Life Teaches Us Outside the Music
Sometimes, the lessons that shape us most are learned when we are no longer standing on the stage.
For many years, I thought some of my most important lessons would come from music itself.
From rehearsals, performances, teaching, leading musicians, studying an instrument, standing in front of an ensemble and trying to bring different people together to create one sound.
But over time, I discovered that some of my deepest lessons about leadership, responsibility, relationships, purpose, sacrifice, and letting go came from experiences that had very little to do with playing a note.
One of those experiences was particularly difficult.
I had to make the decision to dissolve a music band I had built and nurtured for over seven years.
It was not simply a band.
It was a community.
At its peak, I had more than 30 consistent band members—young people brought together by a shared purpose, a vision, and the influence of the work we were doing together.
Many of them were people I had personally mentored.
I had watched some of them grow musically. I had invested time in them. I had taught them. I had corrected them. I had encouraged them.
I had watched relationships develop, talents mature, confidence increase, and people discover abilities they may not have known they possessed.
So when the time came to dissolve the band, it was not an easy decision.
There was history attached to it. There were memories. There were relationships. There was emotional investment.
And there was the uncomfortable question:
“How do you let go of something you spent years building?”
That experience taught me lessons that music alone could never have taught me.
When Building Something Is Not the Same as Keeping It Forever
We often celebrate people who build.
People who build a business, career, team, ministry, an institution, a family, or a reputation, a community.
But we don’t talk enough about another aspect of leadership:
Knowing when something has reached the point where it needs to change—or even end.
There is a natural tendency to protect what we have invested in.
The more time we spend building something, the harder it becomes to imagine letting it go.
Seven years is a long time.
Thirty people are not simply numbers on a list.
They represent conversations, rehearsals, challenges, birthdays, performances, disagreements, laughter, growth, mistakes, achievements, and countless moments that become part of your personal history.
So dissolving the band felt, in many ways, like closing a significant chapter of my life.
But I eventually learned that the value of something is not always measured by how long it continues.
Sometimes, something can have fulfilled an important purpose even if it does not continue indefinitely.
The People Were More Important Than the Band
One of the things I had to remind myself was that the band was never really about me.
It is about people. Young people with potential. People who needed direction. People who needed an environment where they could develop.
People who needed someone to believe in them. People who needed opportunities to discover what they could become.
That changed the way I viewed the decision.
Although the structure was ending, the influence did not have to end. The years of mentorship had already happened.
The skills people acquired remained with them. The confidence they developed remained. The relationships remained. The experiences remained. The lessons remained.
And that taught me something important about leadership:
Sometimes, what you build is temporary, but what you build into people can outlive the structure itself.
Almost all the people I had with me then have influenced their various spaces as team leaders, music producers, artists, professinal musicians, ministry leaders, song writers, movie directors, among others.
That, for me, became one of the most meaningful lessons from that chapter.
The Pain of Letting Go
There is a certain kind of pain that comes with ending something you did not necessarily want to lose.
It is different from failure.
Sometimes, you are not walking away because the thing had no value.
You are walking away precisely because you understand that the circumstances surrounding it have changed.
That distinction matters.
There were memories I did not want to lose.
There were people I cared about.
There were dreams associated with the band.
There were things I imagined we would accomplish together.
But leadership sometimes requires making decisions based on what is necessary rather than what is emotionally comfortable.
And that is not always easy.
I had to accept that loving something does not automatically mean you must keep it in its current form forever.
What the Band Taught Me About Leadership
Leading a group of young musicians for several years taught me that leadership is not simply about having a vision.
It is about people.
People have different personalities, different motivations, different levels of commitment, different family circumstances, different aspirations, different rates of growth, different ideas about what they want from the journey.
When you bring people together around a common purpose, you discover very quickly that leadership is more complex than simply giving instructions.
You have to communicate, listen, correct, encourage, make difficult decisions, manage expectations.
And sometimes, you have to accept that not everyone will remain on the journey for the same length of time.
That was a valuable lesson for me.
Influence Is Bigger Than Position
When I look back at those years, one thing stands out to me.
The most significant achievement was not necessarily the music we performed.
It was the people who were influenced along the way.
Some of the young people I mentored came into the group with limited confidence.
Some had undeveloped musical abilities.
Some simply needed an opportunity.
Over time, they grew.
And watching that growth reminded me that influence is not always measured by the size of an organisation or the visibility of a platform.
Sometimes, influence is simply seeing someone become better because you were willing to invest in them.
That is one of the reasons the decision to dissolve the band was difficult.
I wasn’t just thinking about an organisation.
I was thinking about people.
The Lesson of Letting Go
One of the hardest lessons leadership teaches us is that not everything we build belongs to us forever.
We are custodians for a season.
We may start something, develop it, nurture it, strengthen it, give it direction, and eventually, circumstances may require us to release it.
That can feel like failure if our definition of success is simply continuation.
But perhaps success should sometimes be measured by impact.
If something existed for seven years and positively influenced people, developed talents, created relationships, and helped young people grow, its value does not disappear simply because the structure eventually came to an end.
The ending does not erase the journey.
Life Taught Me That People Are Not Projects
This is another lesson I continue to carry.
When you are leading people, it can be tempting to think in terms of outcomes.
Who is improving? Who is committed? Who is performing well? Who is meeting expectations? Who is contributing?
But people are not projects.
They have lives beyond the role they occupy in your organisation. They have families, dreams, fears, challenges, responsibilities, personal journeys.
Sometimes, leadership requires us to remember that the person matters more than the position they occupy.
The band gave me many opportunities to learn this.
And those lessons have influenced the way I now think about teaching, mentoring, music education, and leadership.
What Remained After the Band Ended?
This is perhaps one of the most interesting parts of the story.
The band ended but the work did not become meaningless.
The musicians had learned. The relationships had happened. The mentorship had happened. The performances had happened. The memories had been created.
The experience had shaped me.
And many of the people who passed through that chapter had been changed by it in one way or another.
This helped me understand something I now consider fundamental:
An ending can be real without making everything that came before it meaningless. – Victor Adenola
Sometimes, we need to stop measuring a chapter by whether it lasted forever.
Instead, ask:
What did it produce while it lasted?
This Lesson Followed Me Into Other Areas of Life
The lessons from that experience did not stay within music.
They followed me into family. Into teaching. Into professional relationships. Into leadership. Into business. Into mentoring. Into how I approach new opportunities.
I became more conscious of the difference between building something and being defined by something.
I became more willing to accept that seasons change.
I became more aware that people can be part of your journey without necessarily being part of every chapter.
And I became more comfortable with the idea that sometimes, moving forward requires releasing something behind you.
The Music May End, But the Lesson Continues
Looking back now, I don’t only remember the difficulty of dissolving the band.
I remember what those seven years produced. I remember the young people, the music, the mentoring, the growth, the relationships, and the lessons.
That experience taught me that leadership is not about holding on to people forever. It is about helping people become better while you have the opportunity to influence them.
It taught me that purpose is not always attached to a permanent structure.
And it taught me that sometimes, the responsible thing to do is to recognise when a chapter has served its purpose and have the courage to close it.
What Life Taught Me From That Experience
If I were to summarise the lessons from that chapter, they would be these:
- What you build may not last forever, but its impact can.
- Leadership is about people, not just structures.
- Mentorship can outlive the platform through which it happened.
- Letting go is sometimes an act of responsibility, not failure.
- Not every ending needs to be interpreted as a loss.
- People may leave a chapter without leaving your influence.
- A successful chapter does not have to become a permanent institution to have been worthwhile.
And perhaps the lesson that remains closest to me:
“Sometimes, leadership means knowing when to hold on, and sometimes it means having the courage to let go. What matters is what you leave in the people you have influenced.”
— Victor Adenola
A Reflection for You
Perhaps there is something in your life that you are holding on to simply because you have invested so much into it.
Ask yourself:
Is the value of this thing found only in its continuation, or has it already fulfilled an important purpose?
And if the time comes to let it go, remember:
Ending a chapter does not erase the story.
The people you helped. The lessons you learned. The skills you developed. The lives you touched. The person you became. Those things remain.
Sometimes, the most difficult decision you make as a leader is not deciding what to build next, but deciding what you must release so that you can move into the next season.
Coming Next — Series 3: Finding Yourself in the Interruption
When a familiar chapter ends, something deeper often follows.
Who am I now?
What happens when the role, platform, career, relationship, routine, or structure that once gave you a sense of identity is no longer there?
In Series 3, I reflect on identity, change, and discovering who you are beyond the things you have built, the roles you have played, and the seasons you have experienced.
#art #band #bands #choir #EmotionalWellBeing #ImprovedDisciplineAndPatience #music #musicians #Purpose #talents #teamwork #Victoradenola -
#aginggracefully #healthylifestyle #walkinggoals #aginggracefully #healthylifestyle #walkinggoals #longevity #inspiration #healthyageing #healthyaging #wellnessthatworks #wellnessblogger #emotionalwellbeing #wellnesslifestyle #wellnesswarrior #healthandwellbeing #motivation #fitnessover60 #activeaging #healthjourney #elderlywellness https://mastodon.social/@biohackingpathway/117377357009456916
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New research explores how emotional and physical neglect may be linked to mental health difficulties and repeated suicide attempts later in life https://english.mathrubhumi.com/lifestyle/parenting/childhood-neglect-mental-health-suicide-risk--jpcrnmoc?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=mastodon #ChildhoodTrauma #MentalHealth #ChildSafety #EmotionalWellbeing
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Psychologist explains why everyone feels so exhausted these days and it makes a lot of sense
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Start your journey today—your body will thank you!
Follow @biohackingpathway for more
#HealthyLiving #Wellness #Health #Wellbeing #HealthyHabits #SugarFree #DailyExercise #WellnessGoals #WellnessWarrior #HealthAndWellbeing #WellnessCommunity #Biohacks #WellnessLifestyle #EmotionalWellbeing #WellnessMatters https://mastodon.social/@biohackingpathway/117325000665552455 -
CW: Occasional Foul Language. Always Political.
You Were Never Supposed to Carry This Alone 🫂[contains quote post or other embedded content]
Link: https://bsky.app/profile/50501movement.bsky.social/post/3mvsd5n2mkk2p
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Reposted from 50501: The People's Movement
Join the Movement at https://fiftyfifty.one
This robot is unaffiliated w/ 50501
Replies here are only seen in the Fediverse, not on Bluesky. 50501 volunteers do not monitor this account.
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#Coup #Activism #FederalGovernment #USpol #Trump #NoKings #elections #50501Movement #WeAreTheResistance #WeHaveFriendsEverywhere #FDT #PeoplesMovement #FiftyFiftyOne #StopICE #protest #organize#YouWereNeverAlone #CarryTogether #SupportSystem #MentalHealthAwareness #CommunitySupport #SelfCare #EmotionalWellbeing #MentalHealthMatters #TalkOpenly #TogetherWeHeal
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Woes of modern dating:a poem
Author: Shiloh A.
Texting great but then it stops
No explanation, calls get dropped
Ghosting is what this is termed
They’ve moved on, now it’s your turn
Enough attention to get you hooked
You’ve scheduled plans and changed your look
The chase slows down, emotions numb
This is a sign you’ve been breadcrumbed
First they show interest, string you along
Conversation flows, you feel a bond
2 weeks later, no call no show
The effort gone- had highs and lows
Unclear intentions, no effort there
Relationships becoming rare
Modern dating has run it’s course
Self love, self care should matter most
Thanks for stopping by!
Courtesy of magnific.com -
https://www.europesays.com/uk/1192084/ Bengaluru founder says ₹20-30 lakh savings can reduce stress: ‘Nothing calms your nervous system more’ #BengaluruFounders #CashFlowProblems #EmotionalWellBeing #FinancialSecurity #Health #MentalHealth #MoneyAndStress #MoneySavingAmount #NervousSystemCalming #SavingsTips #SimridhiMakhija #UK #UnitedKingdom
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https://www.europesays.com/ie/677193/ Bengaluru founder says ₹20-30 lakh savings can reduce stress: ‘Nothing calms your nervous system more’ #BengaluruFounders #CashFlowProblems #Éire #EmotionalWellBeing #FinancialSecurity #Health #IE #Ireland #MentalHealth #MentalHealth #MoneyAndStress #MoneySavingAmount #NervousSystemCalming #SavingsTips #SimridhiMakhija
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You check your phone. Nothing.
You put it down. They text.
You reply fast. They go quiet again.
This cycle is exhausting. And you are not alone in feeling drained by it.
What helped you break this pattern?
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You check your phone. Nothing.
You put it down. They text.
You reply fast. They go quiet again.This cycle is exhausting. And you're not crazy for feeling drained by it.
What helped you break this pattern?
-
You check your phone. Nothing.
You put it down. They text.
You reply fast. They go quiet again.This cycle is exhausting. And you're not crazy for feeling drained by it.
What helped you break this pattern?
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Why Are We So Lonely? A Modern Disconnection
Explore the growing epidemic of loneliness! We delve into the reasons behind our increasing isolation, examining the impact of technology and societal shifts on human connection. Discover how modern life disconnects us from what truly matters: community.
#loneliness #socialisolation #technology #community #mentalhealth #relationships #humanconnection #modernlife #emotionalwellbeing #wellnesslifestyle #wellnesswarrior #societalchange
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This guided meditation will help you connect with your inner compassion and spread warmth throughout your entire being.
Read more 👉 https://lttr.ai/AspdG
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This week's blog explores why difficult emotions don't always need solving. Sometimes understanding them is what allows them to change.
Read more in this week's blog at https://spells4me.com/blog/you-don-t-have-to-solve-every-feeling
#emotionalwellbeing #reflection #personalgrowth #mindfulness #WitchyVibes -
If you are living with PTSD and navigating anxiety, you may sometimes feel overwhelmed by emotions, thoughts, or past experiences. This page offers a calm, respectful space for conversation and personal reflection. You are welcome here exactly as you are, without pressure, expectations, or the need to change anything. You are welcome here. You are not alone.
See link in profile.
🌿#ptsd #cptsd #trauma #recovery
#MentalHealth #EmotionalWellbeing
#HealingJourney #SelfCare #InnerPeace -
Cautionary tale of Lies: a poem
courtesy of magnific.comAuthor: Shiloh A.
Lies are told in many forms
White lies, dark lies, some just for fun
Some use to build self confidence
Others tell lies that make no sense
Great debate: do lies protect
Feelings of loved ones getting hurt?
Some believe the lies they tell
They make up stories oh so well
Straight face, no blinking, convincing tone
Could steal your soul without you knowing
Late for work for the 5th time?
A good white lie you’ll want to try
No harm, no foul -conceal mistakes
Responsible for choices made
Lies are taboo in any form
Great ones take lots of moxie and charm
Be careful whom you are lying to
Might come back to haunt you
Our conscience speaks above it all
Don’t let your pride come before the fall
Thanks for stopping by!
courtesy of magnific.com -
#MakingItMonday… Some changes are felt before they're understood…
#Connection #Change #ShiftHappens #EmotionalWellbeing #MindfulLiving
@zponderings
@ZPonderings.bsky.socialhttps://substack.com/@zponderings
https://linktr.ee/ChangeAndThrivalHood= Change and ThrivalHood
https://pegaphinz.com = Byte Wise Thriving -
You check your phone. Nothing.
You put it down. They text.
You reply fast. They go quiet again.This cycle is exhausting. And you're not crazy for feeling drained by it.
What helped you break this pattern?
-
You check your phone. Nothing.
You put it down. They text.
You reply fast. They go quiet again.This cycle is exhausting. And you're not crazy for feeling drained by it.
What helped you break this pattern?
-
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You check your phone. Nothing.
You put it down. They text.
You reply fast. They go quiet again.This cycle is exhausting. And you're not crazy for feeling drained by it.
What helped you break this pattern?
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Happiness: a poem
Author: Shiloh A.
The guide to create happiness? Live life at ease, get lots of rest
Find inner peace; smile every day
Find positivity words to say
Be kind to others but protect self worth
Manage your stress, don’t overwork
Life has it’s downs-keep your spirits up
Emotionally and mentally tough
Self -awareness ignites the spark
Eat well and exercise to start
Build healthy habits inside and out
That’s how happiness comes about
courtesy of Canva.com
Thanks for stopping by!