Search
1000 results for “Nerd_Nick7”
-
Nick Maley was a special effects make-up artist who worked on horror and sci-fi films such as Lifeforce, Highlander, the awesome Krull, and the Star Wars movies where he is closely associated with Yoda. He runs a museum of memorabilia, props, photos, storyboards, scripts, etc. and we visited today while in Phillipsburg, Sint Maarten. Nerd heaven, and we had a great chat with him too.
#SciFi #Travel #SintMaarten #Phillipsburg #StarWars #NickMaley #Krull #SpecialEffects #Cruise
-
Nick Maley was a special effects make-up artist who worked on horror and sci-fi films such as Lifeforce, Highlander, the awesome Krull, and the Star Wars movies where he is closely associated with Yoda. He runs a museum of memorabilia, props, photos, storyboards, scripts, etc. and we visited today while in Phillipsburg, Sint Maarten. Nerd heaven, and we had a great chat with him too.
#SciFi #Travel #SintMaarten #Phillipsburg #StarWars #NickMaley #Krull #SpecialEffects #Cruise
-
I got the fantastic opportunity to record an episode of the Nerd Journey podcast with amazing Nick Korte and John White, and the first half just dropped. Woot! 🎉
And has the coolest title Packets Don't Lie. Double woot! 🎉🎉
Tune in as we talk all things getting started in networking, finding your place and your peeps, and in and outs of developing a career in the industry, all from the perspective of one short but mighty redhead. 😂
-
I got the fantastic opportunity to record an episode of the Nerd Journey podcast with amazing Nick Korte and John White, and the first half just dropped. Woot! 🎉
And has the coolest title Packets Don't Lie. Double woot! 🎉🎉
Tune in as we talk all things getting started in networking, finding your place and your peeps, and in and outs of developing a career in the industry, all from the perspective of one short but mighty redhead. 😂
-
Making a brew this morning and flexing my #fantasyf1 credentials - best in the world on badgergp.com (rip) for the Malaysian GP 2011. Thank you Nick Heidfeld for your surprise podium finish that I randomly predicted. Definitely all skill and no luck 😂😂 #F1 #nerd
-
This is a part of the Elections Interviews series. Voting is open to all Fedora contributors. The voting period starts on Friday, 8 December and closes promptly at 23:59:59 UTC on Thursday, 21 December.
Interview with Tomas Hckra
- Fedora Account: Tomas Hckra
- IRC/Nick: jednorozec/humaton
- Matrix Channels typically found in: fedora-releng, #fedora-devel, #fedora-devel, #fedora-noc
- Fedora User Wiki Page
Why do you want to be a member of FESCo and how do you expect to help steer the direction of Fedora?
I believe that my perspective as a fedora release engineer can bring some new opinions into the steering process. My focus is mostly on user/contributor self-service where possible so we can remove obstacles for new people coming into the Fedora project.
How do you currently contribute to Fedora? How does that contribution benefit the community?
Over the last decade, I went through package maintenance and app development. Currently, I am part of the release engineering team, helping out with releases and related infrastructure work. Right now I am working on dropping the Product Definition Center from our workflows so we can reduce the complexity in our package-related processes and tooling.
How do you handle disagreements when working as part of a team?
Most of the team disagreements I was part of were caused by communication issues and misunderstanding of one or the other side. So I strongly believe that most problems are resolvable by listening, considering the other side, and communicating about the disagreement clearly. The next step is building consensus keeping in mind all the viewpoints that caused the conflict in the first place.
What else should community members know about you or your positions?
I am a full-on open-source nerd, everything in my house is running open-source SW. I am not shy of public speaking you can find some of my talks on YouTube like this one about opensource home automation: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUhHaHnzhYA
Two main ideas that define my approach to technology:
“I want all things open and all sources shown”
“Where is a serial console there is a way”https://communityblog.fedoraproject.org/fesco-election-interview-with-tomas-hckra/
#elections #Fedora #FedoraEngineeringSteeringCommitteeFESCo_
-
Marvelous Market: Best New Comics April 29
Free Comic Book Day has some competition
This Saturday is Free Comic Book Day, the day every year where publishers release special free comics in an attempt to get new people to go to a comic book shop and maybe buy some other comics. This year, due to the shenanigans of the Diamond distribution bankruptcy, this Saturday is also Comics Giveaway Day. Yes, some publishers decided to do their own event that is identical in every way but name for reasons of their own. Because this Wednesday is the 5th in the month (always a low-comic week) and the FCBD / CGD, I’m going to swap out my usual 4 ongoing series recommendations with 4 free giveaway comics I think look interesting.
Hello and welcome to the Marvelous Market, my weekly guide for anyone interested in going to a comic book store today. In addition to a full list of new # 1s and new volume 1s, I’ll be giving you my top 4 recommendations in 4 categories. Like Houston legend Mike Jones rapped, “We’re still tippin’ on four-fours.” I’m going to give you the top four new comics, top four ongoing comics, the top four graphic novels, and the top 4 preorders.
The work going into this curation is made possible by readers like you. For less than the cost of a cup of coffee a month, you can help make this work possible.
New Issue # 1s
ARCHIE COMICS 85TH ANNIVERSARY PRESENTS: ARCHIE GAME GALAXY # 1
SOLICIT COPY:
Archie and his friends get their game on in this BRAND NEW video game story, just in time for the The Super Mario Galaxy Movie! While Betty is tasked with feeding Sabrina’s mischievous cat, Salem, the gang decides to join her. Things get wild when Jughead discovers an old gaming console and powers it up—suddenly, they’re all sucked into the game! Now trapped in a dazzling universe filled with quirky planets and unique challenges, Salem becomes their unexpected guide through this vibrant realm. Together, they must navigate wacky worlds and tackle hilarious obstacles as they work to find their way back home. With teamwork and friendship at the forefront, will they conquer the cosmos and return before it’s time for Salem’s next meal? Join them on this uproarious journey full of laughter, adventure, and interstellar surprises!
ELRIC: THE SLEEPING SORCERESS # 1
SOLICIT COPY:
After love was taken from him, Elric of Melniboné is tasked with finding and aiding the Empress of the Dawn. Though others also seek her out. An army plots to steal Elric’s Ring of Kings as well as the mighty Stormbringer all in order to create a new Champion of Chaos. But with grief chipping away at his resolve can Elric really subdue the deadly Stormbringer that claws at his mind or will he succumb to his impulses and become Chaos incarnate?
HELLBOY IN LOVE: BLACK EYES # 1
SOLICIT COPY:
A cozy visit with retired B.P.R.D agents Archie and Margaret takes a chilly turn when Hellboy and Anastasia investigate the local ghost, whose once only legendary wails have been disturbing their quaint village with more and more urgency.
SWAMP THING 1989 # 1
SOLICIT COPY:
Over three decades since the controversy and cancellation, Rick Veitch’s legendary lost issues are completed! After a renowned two year run on the series, Veitch’s grand finale to Swamp Thing was cut short, and never to see print! Whispers and leaks hinted at the epic untold saga for years. Now, for the first time, that final story is told! As Swamp Thing is cast back through time, he will come to meet a carpenter who will change the trajectory of his life, and the DC Universe forever. The origin of Etrigan , and Swamp Thing’s journey to the beginning of time starts here!
FREE COMIC BOOK DAY / COMICS GIVEAWAY DAY
DEICIDIUM: OMENS # 1
SOLICIT COPY:
A first look at the epic new sci-fi series from award-winning creators Ram V, Evan Cagle, and Anand Radhakrishnan!
Featuring gorgeous black and white interiors, Deicidium is set in a future world governed by the marriage between theocracies and corporations. Worship is currency, faith is power. In this newfound stability, old powers once more return to the world. Gods of fire, wind, volcanoes, jaguars — gods of mischief, stories, love, and war — manifesting through everyday people. But with the established hierarchy threatened, the powers-that-be decide that these newly-made gods must be found — and killed…
ENERGON UNIVERSE: 2026 SPECIAL # 1
SOLICIT COPY:
The biggest year in Energon Universe history is here, with four all-new stories from the worlds of Transformers, G.I. Joe, Void Rivals, and more in this Free Comic Book Day issue.
Join the biggest names in comics for both a perfect Energon Universe jumping-on point and a can’t-miss experience for long-time fans.THE FUTURE IS ****** ANNUAL # 1
SOLICIT COPY:
The ultimate STAND ALONE INTRODUCTORY ONE-SHOT to the GREATEST HACKER COMIC BOOK OF ALL TIME is here! Witness guest artist JUAN GEDEON (Marvel’s Venom and DC’s Jurassic League) draw an absolutely killer story by series regular writer Fred Van Lente (Deadpool vs. The Punisher), which can introduce anyone to the SIXTY-ISSUE ONGOING SERIES! Look, this comic book rules, and it’s FREE! Get on the bandwagon, buddy! This issue even has giant guns and monsters! What more do you want!? TWENTY-FOUR PAGES OF STORY FOR, THAT’S RIGHT, FREE!
WORLD OF ARCHIE # 1
SOLICIT COPY:
Celebrate Archie Comics’ milestone 85th anniversary with this collection of fun, all-ages stories! You probably already know Archie, Betty, Veronica, Jughead, and even that mischief-maker Reggie, as well as everyone’s favorite teen witch, Sabrina, and those musical, mystical Josie and the Pussycats. Still, there’s a whole WORLD of Archie characters to explore. This collection spotlights some of the expanded Archie universe and showcases why Archie and his friends have been the coolest for nearly nine decades! Featuring the work of Archie fan-favorite creators including Dan Parent, Holly G!, Timmy Heague, Jamie L. Rotante, Craig Boldman, Steven and Lily Butler, and more!
Trade Paperbacks, Hardcovers, and OGNs
THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN: THE CLASSIC NEWSPAPER COMICS 1977 TP
SOLICIT COPY:
Introducing Clover Press and The Library of American Comics’ new deluxe softcover slipcase series, collecting all of Marvel’s The Amazing Spider-Man classic newspaper comics. Each volume collects a full year of newspaper strips, from January 1 through December 31. Every edition is printed in an 11” x 8.5” landscape format softcover book that slides into a vertically oriented die-cut slipcase!
The wall-crawler swings into his first year of the long-running Spider-Man newspaper strips, brought to life by the legendary team of Stan Lee and John Romita! Every exciting adventure is presented just as readers experienced them nationwide, with the full-color Sunday pages integrated with the dailies!
1977 kicks off as J.Jonah Jameson invites none other than Doctor Doom, the iron-fisted ruler of Latveria, to address the U.N.—and it’s up to Spider-Man to stop him from blackmailing the world’s leaders! From there, the wall-crawler faces off against a rogues’ gallery of iconic foes, including Doctor Octopus, the Kingpin, and Kraven the Hunter. Plus, the debut of an all-new villain: The Rattler
MARVEL CREATOR COLLECTION NO. 1: BACK TO THE SAVAGE LAND — BARRY WINDSOR-SMITH AT MARVEL vol. 1 HC
SOLICIT COPY:
This first of a three-volume series collecting the legendary Barry Windsor-Smith’s work at Marvel features his early work on X-Men, The Avengers, Doctor Strange, and Iron Man, as well as his amazing run on Ka-Zar in Astonishing Tales, and much more.
From the moment Marvel brought him to the U.S. in 1969, Windsor-Smith was a creative force to be reckoned with. A passionate devotee of Jack Kirby, Windsor-Smith’s earliest drawing at Marvel reflected that influence, but he quickly developed his own unique, eye-opening style, combining intricately detailed realism with the dreamlike lushness of art nouveau and late-1960s psychedelia.
This volume focuses on the earliest of his work, including memorable storylines on The Avengers, Iron Man, Doctor Strange, and individual stories for Chamber of Darkness, Tower of Shadows, and Nick Fury, Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. All new benchmarks of comics art, culminating in what may be the highlight of this period: Windsor-Smith’s collaboration with writer Gerry Conway on an epic tale of civil war in Ka-Zar’s Savage Land. Future volumes will trace Windsor-Smith’s career through such milestones as Machine Man and Weapon X.
NERD INFERNO: THE ESSENTIAL EVAN DORKIN TP
SOLICIT COPY:
Collecting the Milk and Cheese, Eltingville Club, and Dork comics by Eisner, Harvey, and Ignatz award-winning comics creator Evan Dorkin. Collected for the first time in an affordable omnibus edition.
The entire Eltingville Club saga. Every Milk and Cheese comic. All the fun strips, gag panels and stories from Dork.
The entire shebang is now available in one big-ass Omnibus edition, a staggering display of satire, silliness, and stupidity featuring all the Eisner, Harvey, and Ignatz award-winning humor comics by semi-esteemed and somewhat-beloved cartoonist Evan Dorkin. It’s going to sell out and you will cry if you don’t get a copy, so get to it, kids (This message was approved by Evan’s therapist).
For mature audiences.
SPEED RACER ADVENTURES vol. 1 HC
SOLICIT COPY:
In the tradition of Flash Gordon Adventures and Tiny Titans, Speed Racer Adventures is a brand-new story aimed at young readers, introducing them to young versions of the famous classic characters.
The best race car driver in the world has been invited to drive the most advanced artificial intelligent car in the world. Speed Racer is not that driver, and the Mach Five is not that car, but that’s not going to stop him from entering that race and winning! When the world’s richest man uses unlimited funds to build the most technologically advanced car in the world and hires Racer X to run a race he created, the deck is stacked against Speed Racer! Its not going to be an easy race, but with his secret weapons, his friends and family, Speed has a pretty good chance of getting in the race and winning, but he’s going to hedge his bet by using a whole lot of candy! Come for the laughs, the hijinx and the amazing speeds the cars reach. Go Speed racer, GO!
Preorders on Final Order Cutoff
ESCAPE # 7
SOLICIT COPY:
The smash-hit series returns! Milton’s daring plan comes to a head as he sabotages the Titan cannon from within, but escape means facing an army, a vengeful Colonel, and impossible odds. The explosive new arc begins here, and not everyone makes it out alive.
GODZILLA’S MONSTERPIECE THEATRE PRESENTS: GODZILLA’S THE ODYSSEY # 1
SOLICIT COPY:
Godzilla’s tour of the literary canon continues as it smashes its way across The Odyssey in this oversize standalone one-shot!
Homer’s The Odyssey is widely considered to be the greatest epic of all time. So, how could you possibly make it more epic? Fill it with kaiju, that’s how. Odysseus’ journey home was already challenging enough, but what if instead of storms, sirens, and cyclopes, the gods sent monsters even more powerful than the titans? And what if Zeus sent the most powerful one of all to assist the king on his odyssey? It’s like Homer said: “Of all creatures that breathe and move upon the earth, nothing is bred that is stronger than Godzilla.”
Written by Frank Tieri, illustrated by Ilias Kyriazis, and featuring part two of Tom Scioli’s Godzilla vs. Robin Hood.
THE LUCKY DEVILS HC
SOLICIT COPY:
A dark, hilarious satire about the struggle to do good in a world that makes it so easy to be bad, The Lucky Devils is an examination of everything that makes humanity both grand and terrible from two of comics’ most unique storytellers.
The Lucky Devils is a tale of two ordinary, good-hearted, 20-something Chicagoans who begin working with the devils on their shoulders in an attempt to fix their broken lives. It works beyond their wildest dreams, and in time they become two of the most powerful people on earth. While they fully intend to use that influence to make the world a better place, we all know what they say about the road to Hell…
For fans of their previous bestselling collaborations like Curse Words and Eight Billion Genies, stories like Lucifer or The Good Place, or tales where ordinary people’s lives intersect with the supernatural — this new series is sure to delight readers looking for a fantastical new read.
Collects issues #1-9.
ULTIMATE ENDGAME # 1
SOLICIT COPY:
THE END OF THE LINE! The universe hangs by a thread as our weary heroes face their final, crushing challenge: the ultimate, cataclysmic showdown with The Maker! Everything they have fought for, everything they believe in, will be tested in this pulse-pounding, oversized final issue. There are no more retreats, no more second chances.
What did I miss?
If there are some great comics, collected or in single issues, that you think I should be reading, tell me about them! And if you do try out any of these series, let me know how you liked them, or didn’t. This is a safe space for haters. If you enjoy this service, please share this article on social media or tell someone that you know reads comics about it.
Divining Comics is brought to you by generous support from the “Best Friends of Divining Comics,” Alex Seubert.
Divining Comics is also brought to you by the support of the “Friends of Divining Comics,” Comic Book Herald.
If you would like to add your name to the list of friends, best friends, or best friends forever, support this work for less than the cost of one cup of coffee a month at patreon.com/diviningcomics. You can also leave a one-time tip/buy my zines at ko-fi.com/spikestonehand. Or, if you can’t afford to support me financially at this time, simply follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Bluesky and share my posts there.
#art #books #ComicBooks #comics #DC #dcComics #marvel #marvelComics #MarvelousMarket #NewComicDay -
Madness on the High Seas: AMG Elders Brave 70000 Tons of Metal By Steel DruhmWay back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1
Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound
Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!
Day One: The Aclimationing
After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!
As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.
From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.
Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).
Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.
Day Two: Any Port in the Storm
Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.
We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!
From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.
From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!
After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.
Day Three: Arctic Winds
Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.
80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.
After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3
Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.
Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.
From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.
After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!
Day Four: Survive and Endure
As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.
After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.
Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.
One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.
As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.
In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.
The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.
Final Thoughts:
70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.
Funniest Moment:
-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.
-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.
Bands We Missed:
Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.
Biggest Gripe:
The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.
Biggest Surprise:
I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!
Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.
Post Ship Depression Syndrome:
It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.
#2026 #Amorphis #Anthrax #BeastInBlack #BlogPost #CemeterySkyline #DarkTranquillity #Darkane #ErebAltor #Firewind #Groza #HarakiriForTheSky #Heathen #Hiraes #Hirax #Insomnium #JagPanzer #Kamelot #Kanonenfieber #MadnessOnTheHighSeasTheAMGEldersBrave70000TonsOfMetal #OrdenOgan #ParadiseLost #RhapodyOfFire #Satan #Saturnus #SkeletalRemains #Soen #Tribulation #Tyr #Vader #VioLence #Wolf #Xandria -
Madness on the High Seas: AMG Elders Brave 70000 Tons of Metal By Steel DruhmWay back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of lifestyle. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1
Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound
Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to sunny Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our hometown on Long Island. This scrambled all the central and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!
Day One: The Aclimationing
After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!
As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the first series of drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a cool way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.
From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we ducked out to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.
Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).
Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.
Day Two: Any Port in the Storm
Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and wewould be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.
We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they took the stage, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!
From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.
From there we beered up and then caught Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to his being confined to his cabin and the band being banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!
After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.
Day Three: Arctic Winds
Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.
80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.
After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3
Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams was performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.
Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through that from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant once again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and they made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that, too.
From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.
After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even dropping in “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!
Day Four: Survive and Endure
As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.
After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.
Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.
One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.
As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.
In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to catch Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.
The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.
Final Thoughts:
70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.
Funniest Moment:
-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.
-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.
Band We Missed:
Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.
Biggest Gripe:
The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.
Biggest Surprise:
I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!
Post Ship Depression Syndrome:
It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.
#2026 #Amorphis #Anthrax #BeastInBlack #BlogPost #CemeterySkyline #DarkTranquillity #Darkane #ErebAltor #Firewind #Groza #HarakiriForTheSky #Heathen #Hiraes #Hirax #Insomnium #JagPanzer #Kamelot #Kanonenfieber #MadnessOnTheHighSeasTheAMGEldersBrave70000TonsOfMetal #OrdenOgan #ParadiseLost #RhapodyOfFire #Satan #Saturnus #SkeletalRemains #Soen #Tribulation #Tyr #Vader #VioLence #Wolf #Xandria -
Madness on the High Seas: AMG Elders Brave 70000 Tons of Metal By Steel DruhmWay back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1
Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound
Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!
Day One: The Aclimationing
After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!
As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.
From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.
Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).
Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.
Day Two: Any Port in the Storm
Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.
We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!
From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.
From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!
After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.
Day Three: Arctic Winds
Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.
80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.
After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3
Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.
Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.
From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.
After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!
Day Four: Survive and Endure
As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.
After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.
Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.
One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.
As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.
In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.
The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.
Final Thoughts:
70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.
Funniest Moment:
-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.
-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.
Bands We Missed:
Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.
Biggest Gripe:
The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.
Biggest Surprise:
I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!
Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.
Post Ship Depression Syndrome:
It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.
#2026 #Amorphis #Anthrax #BeastInBlack #BlogPost #CemeterySkyline #DarkTranquillity #Darkane #ErebAltor #Firewind #Groza #HarakiriForTheSky #Heathen #Hiraes #Hirax #Insomnium #JagPanzer #Kamelot #Kanonenfieber #MadnessOnTheHighSeasTheAMGEldersBrave70000TonsOfMetal #OrdenOgan #ParadiseLost #RhapodyOfFire #Satan #Saturnus #SkeletalRemains #Soen #Tribulation #Tyr #Vader #VioLence #Wolf #Xandria -
Madness on the High Seas: AMG Elders Brave 70000 Tons of Metal By Steel DruhmWay back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1
Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound
Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!
Day One: The Aclimationing
After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!
As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.
From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.
Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).
Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.
Day Two: Any Port in the Storm
Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.
We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!
From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.
From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!
After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.
Day Three: Arctic Winds
Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.
80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.
After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3
Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.
Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.
From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.
After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!
Day Four: Survive and Endure
As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.
After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.
Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.
One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.
As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.
In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.
The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.
Final Thoughts:
70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.
Funniest Moment:
-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.
-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.
Bands We Missed:
Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.
Biggest Gripe:
The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.
Biggest Surprise:
I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!
Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.
Post Ship Depression Syndrome:
It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.
#2026 #Amorphis #Anthrax #BeastInBlack #BlogPost #CemeterySkyline #DarkTranquillity #Darkane #ErebAltor #Firewind #Groza #HarakiriForTheSky #Heathen #Hiraes #Hirax #Insomnium #JagPanzer #Kamelot #Kanonenfieber #MadnessOnTheHighSeasTheAMGEldersBrave70000TonsOfMetal #OrdenOgan #ParadiseLost #RhapodyOfFire #Satan #Saturnus #SkeletalRemains #Soen #Tribulation #Tyr #Vader #VioLence #Wolf #Xandria -
Madness on the High Seas: AMG Elders Brave 70000 Tons of Metal By Steel DruhmWay back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1
Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound
Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!
Day One: The Aclimationing
After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!
As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.
From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.
Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).
Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.
Day Two: Any Port in the Storm
Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.
We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!
From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.
From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!
After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.
Day Three: Arctic Winds
Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.
80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.
After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3
Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.
Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.
From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.
After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!
Day Four: Survive and Endure
As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.
After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.
Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.
One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.
As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.
In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.
The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.
Final Thoughts:
70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.
Funniest Moment:
-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.
-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.
Bands We Missed:
Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.
Biggest Gripe:
The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.
Biggest Surprise:
I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!
Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.
Post Ship Depression Syndrome:
It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.
#2026 #Amorphis #Anthrax #BeastInBlack #BlogPost #CemeterySkyline #DarkTranquillity #Darkane #ErebAltor #Firewind #Groza #HarakiriForTheSky #Heathen #Hiraes #Hirax #Insomnium #JagPanzer #Kamelot #Kanonenfieber #MadnessOnTheHighSeasTheAMGEldersBrave70000TonsOfMetal #OrdenOgan #ParadiseLost #RhapodyOfFire #Satan #Saturnus #SkeletalRemains #Soen #Tribulation #Tyr #Vader #VioLence #Wolf #Xandria -
Kill Me Love Me review
Liu Xueyi is an actor I’ve been watching for a long time. He really stood out in his second male lead role, In Blossom, even if the acting and storytelling of the drama were … inconsistent, so I really want him to be in a drama that really propels him to the big leagues soon. This is one actor that truly deserves to be there.
Kill Me Love Me could be it. (Cross fingers)
If you have not watched Kill Me Love Me, be sure to avoid the spoilerific Watch Log and head straight to the non-spoiler Final Review section instead.
- The story
- Characters
- Watch Log
- Thoughts about the ending
- What I liked
- What I didn’t like
- Conclusion
- Final rating: 3 out of 5 stars
If you’re accessing this from Mastodon, please head to my blog and bookmark the page as it’s not the final edition. I will be updating it until the drama ends.
The story
Prince Murong Jinghe of the Great Yan Dynasty is known as the “lunatic prince”, the “butcher general”. Ten years ago, he led his Weibei Army to reclaim Qingzhou, a lost territory. But soon after his army entered the city, a devastating fire broke out. The people of Qingzhou, angered, accused Murong Jing He of ordering the fire, massacring the people in retaliation against the people for their alleged betrayal of Great Yan.
Mei Lin lost her entire family in the fire. Consumed by vengeance, she joins a secret organization called Shadow Works, where she undergoes years of brutal training. After ten years, Mei Lin receives her first mission: Kill Prince Murong Jinghe, her greatest enemy.
Characters
- Murong Jinghe (played by Liu Xue Yi): A hated prince who is said to have ordered the death of countless civilians ten years ago.
- Mei Lin (played by Wu Jin Yan): An assassin and survivor of Qingzhou. She is tasked with killing Murong Jinghe.
- Murong Xuanlie (played by Baron Chen): They may be brothers, but the crown prince schemes against Murong Jinghe actively.
- Yue Qin (played by Bi Wen Jun): A prince of Xiyan who is a hostage in Yan. He knows Mei Lin from the past.
- Luo Mei (played by Zhao Xiao Tang): A general of Yan and childhood friend of Jinghe.
- Zi Gu (played by Huang Ri Ying): A princess of Xiyan sent to marry the Emperor of Yan as a gesture peace.
Watch Log
Read this part only after you’ve watched or while watching the Show. You’ve been warned!
Episodes 1 to 3
What can I say? Drama hooked me in immediately, especially with THAT kiss. Sweet, summer chile, I wasn’t ready.
I mean, the red robe ☝️ (and its occupant) says everything you need to know about why I’m watching Kill Me Love Me live 🙃
OK, fine, it has a thrilling, pulpy plot involving an assassin and a crazed, murderous prince, so what’s not to like?
Episodes 4 and 5
I thought it was rather brilliant that Murong Jinghe used his awful reputation to save Mei Lin. As he was explaining to the emperor, who doubted his plan, “If they could believe the general of Weibei army massacred Qingzhou, they would have no problem believing I’ve become a lecher.”
Ouch, dad, did you hear that? No, you didn’t, because you belong to the cohort of stupid emperors in Cdramaland who can’t see your sons plotting right under your nose. UGH. Cdrama dads are going to be the death of me.
Xiyan prince – Giving Meilin those cakes was a chance for the enemy to use his act of kindness and also, even if he did execute his plan, it would’ve destroyed the Xiyan peace treaty. Dude, you’re as naive as your sister. Oh dear, I hope you wise up quickly in the Yan court because it ain’t for the naive. I’m not that enthused about the second male lead coming in.
Mei Ling’s hallucinations – At first I was eh about the whole hallucination that Mei Ling was having. Sure, it was a little funny, but it kinda broke the angst/tension for a bit, but it was insight into her inner thoughts which Jinghe will never see.
Jinghe’s encounter with the lady general – it’s rather sad that he had to put on this act of being an indolent shadow of what he was, but you have to do what you have to do to execute your plan. But imagine having all your loved ones view you as a useless, hopeless case, not sure how it doesn’t eat him every day.
I can see that he’s been “lightened” a bit, and you can see he has a good streak beneath all that darkness. Still, I hope they don’t do it too quickly.
Episodes 6
The second male lead comes in with his schemes and I’m like, go away you irritant. You’re taking precious time from our couple and wasting our time with your impossible mission. But alas, it’s an unspoken rule of CDramaland to have a second male/female lead to cause trouble and it would seem that our Xiyan prince Yue Qin and General Luo Yin is it.
I’m pretty glad that in this episode, Jinghe told the Crown Prince to stop his “concerned brother” act because I think I’m genuinely going to puke if he continued all that smarmy acting.
It’s good to see the claws unsheathed, and our men declaring war on each other. Still, it’s pretty heart-breaking to know that when they were boys they created mischief with each other and generally had a friendly relationship (at least on Jinghe’s part). The handprints in the memorial hall is a haunting reminder of their lost brotherhood.
I wonder what happened to their relationship. (Looks sideways at the emperor.)
Episodes 7
I’m actually surprised that Mei Lin is over her hatred for Murong Jinghe so quickly. 10 years is a long time to hate someone and want to see him dead. But I suppose our assassin is a practical lady who just wants to get on the business of avenging the dead, and she sees an ally in him. And as the mystery behind the embroidery comes to head, she must see him as a fellow victim of the massacre and form some kind of emotional bond with him.
Uhm, can’t wait for the inevitable severing of ties when she finds out that he’s her Master. eheh.
Of all scenes in this episode, I did not expect Murong Jinghe to do some embroidery with Mei Lin. Hey, this is what bonding is all about! (He’s probably the first male lead I’ve seen doing embroidery with the heroine!)
In this episode we see our Crown Prince smoothly lying his way into General Luo’s heart. She’s not buying it for now but the trailers seem to indicate something else. Girl, run! But you’re second female lead so you’re destined to do something to trip our main couple so, I don’t think you’ll be running anytime soon.
Got to say that I admire the ruthless efficiency of the Crown Prince’s plan – it had demolished Jinghe completely 10 years ago. Not only was he left disabled, his reputation was completely ruined in the eyes of the nation and the people that mattered – his loved ones.
I think if there’s anything to be said, is that Jinghe belongs to a family where there’s a … trust deficit. The heartbreak of knowing that your family will believe the worst of you must be unendurable. And seeing how the two brothers were before, the Crown Prince have always had this malicious, lying streak, and the young Jinghe appeared naive or unaware of it.
So far, I’m still loving the pace of the storytelling, though I’m a little uncertain about the humorous moments. I just want them to retain more of the angst, ya know? But that could make the show very dour indeed. However, the comedy moments didn’t work with me. Oh well.
But I’m sure more suffering is coming, so angst will be returning. I’m seated.
Episode 8
Murong Jinghe and Mei Lin go … dating? More cute moments with our “couple” as they put on a show for the whole of Yan and the Crown Prince to convince him that, nah, he isn’t up to anything and he’s 100% a lecherous bastard.
The crown prince makes moves with General Luo and she’s not impressed. Yue Qian gets a shock when his manservant’s Shumo plan to smuggle Mei Lin out of Yan goes horribly wrong. Murong Jinghe manages to capture Minister Zhang, one of the Crown Prince’s henchmen.
NGL, episodes 8 and 9 were the eps that got me really worried and fearing for the drama’s health. I don’t think the writers (or perhaps Wang Jinyan) managed the transition from stoic angry assassin to semi-bubbly accomplice very well. I found the comedic moments between Jinghe and Mei Lin rather painful and wanted them to stop lol.
Episode 10
My faith in the show is raised when Jinghe’s public displays of crackheadedness make a reappearance. Hello, mad prince! I missed you! Our fake couple ramps up the Public Displays of Affection. Oddly this was far more tolerable for me than their cutesy moments.
And then more palace intrigue stuff. More please! So much so that it leaves General Luo mad and the Crown Prince smirking that he’s winning General Luo. (Yeah, no.)
Episode 11
The crown prince and Jinghe fights over “ownership” of Minister Zhang in a dramatic way.
I’m enjoying the poisonous banter between the Crown Prince and Jinghe. Ah, shades of Joy of Life, where Fan Xian and the second prince exchange pleasantries laced with threats. Jinghe and Crown Prince’s exchanges may not be as delicately terrifying as our JOL duo but it’s really wonderful to see two great actors – Liu Xueyi and Baron Chen – duke it out.
(Speaking of Baron Chen, you really need to check out Meteor, Butterfly, Sword.)
Something shifted in episode 10.
While episode 8 and 9 made me wonder if the show had jumped the shark, 10 and 11 made me worry a little less.
I was especially ecstatic when I saw trailers for eps 12 and 13. 100% celebrated when I saw that our “couple” is back to being furious with each other. Yay! Can we keep them this way, please?
Also, Mei Lin, if you thought what he did with the 10 beauties was bad, wait till you find out about that master of yours …
To be honest, I initially worried about the direction of the show. But after rewatching the trailers and the feature on how they made the drama, I regained some of that lost confidence because I could see that there are some exciting upcoming arcs, and I really want to see them played out, such as a rebellion by the Crown Prince, a war, some shenanigans with dead bodies with Jinghe being the unhinged prince again…
So, I’m back to enjoying the drama. Maybe I’m just an eternally optimistic person who can see the silver lining in everything. Maybe it’s the sight of Jinghe in his resplendent burgandy robes, staring down at Mei Lin as she dances. (Damn you, producers, for weakening my rational side.) Who knows? I’m just enjoying myself.
To be honest, I never really wanted Jinghe to be thoroughly dark despite what the trailers hinted. I knew that it also wouldn’t be 100% possible with the rules in Cdramaland right now, but most of all, I don’t think I’d have enjoyed it very much if he was truly callous, cold and basically mad like he is in the novel.
In my heart, I knew Jinghe would be a green flag cloaked in red. But my disappointment stemmed from the poor character writing of Mei Lin and the awkward transition of Jinghe being menacing to … nice? I get that’s the face he shows the people at his side, but I feel that it was too quick with Mei Lin.
Perhaps it’ll improve.
I’m quite pleased with Jinghe’s character writing, however. (Ok except for the quick acceptance of Mei Lin.) And even the Crown Prince has a good treatment by the writers. But Mei Lin needs better definition and steel to reflect her supposed deadliness and resilience.
So, I think I’m on the side of, “I’m still enjoying this drama, but I’m lowering my expectations a tad.”
I have to remind myself that Legend of Shen Li lost me for a good half a dozen or more episodes, so much so that I nearly gave up on it. Then, somehow magically around the 20th episode or so, it regained its initial spark, and it ended up being one of my favourite dramas of 2024.
Episode 12
The Xiyan prince is about to leave and he can bring the beauties with the burnt mark home, but of course, the crown prince has other ideas. Meanwhile, Jinghe and Mei Lin fall out when she discovers just how ruthless he can be to achieve his plans.
(Uhm ya, you don’t know half of it, lady)
Episode 13
The royal hunt is on and the Crown Prince is up to no good. Well, so is Jinghe as he’s intent on capturing Li Qi, a man who is connected to the tragedy at Qingyuan 10 years ago. But his plan involves jumping off cliffs…
Here’s what I can say, it is funny how quickly the story improved once the Xiyan prince left and we don’t have to endure 2ML shenanigans (for too long anyway) 😆
His little arc in ep 12 is pretty interesting tho. Try not to spoil yourself before watching it.
Anyway, I was super concerned about the drama, as I said, esp with episodes 7-9, that the show had jumped sharked. My primary concern was tha they were going to shortcut their emotional and relationship growth by making them be cute with each other from the get go.
But something turned at ep 10, and I can say at eps 12 and 13 that the tension, darkness and Murong Jinghe we knew in eps 1-3 is baaaack. Even Mei Lin seems better defined and her character writing is more solid.
Our couple is back to threatening each other and dang it Liu Xueyi somehow makes threats sound like seduction.
But what really shocked me, was the last 10 min of ep 13. Such a short scene, but a massively important one as Mei Lin finally realised the depth of suffering Jinghe had gone through.
It was a scene I never ever thought I will see in a cdrama, a kind of humiliation that is so awful in its rawness it will make you turn away in shock.
I am so used to Cdrama heroes being portrayed as perfect, always with beautiful skin, always suave and sure of himself.
But here, Jinghe is at his lowest in front of possibly the worst person: someone he has growing feelings for.
I am not going to spoil you about what happened, because this is a scene that needed to be seen to feel the impact.
Personally, I am actually agog that the producers a actually went there! But I really, really liked that they did. That’s brave writing.
Liu Xueyi and Wu Jinyan acted the heck out of that scene. That quiet, respectful way she treated him. She didn’t say a word and went to gather wood.
His devastated look as he was forced to LOOK AT THAT LOG as Mei Lin drags him away… the whole scene left me speechless really.
Perfectly acted, all of it. And both actors hardly said a word to each other during this time. I can see that LXY WJY are not the type of actors who want to pose and look pretty for the camera all the time, that’s for sure.
Honestly, I am glad Liu Xueyi was given this moment because he really showed what he was capable of here.
And ya know, I am not the type to cry when watching any drama. Heck didn’t even cry watching the Titanic, but I almost did with this one, because this is a humiliation none of us want to ever endure.
Anyway, they have An Important Conversation after the whole thing which will define their relationship now. If they ever do have lovey-dovey moments in future ep, it will feel more organic than forced.
Episodes 14 to 15
Jinghe’s night terrors AKA can we get him a therapist?
Mei Lin sees Jinghe at a vulnerable moment once more as he suffers through a horrible nightmare of the moment he was nearly beaten to death and crippled. So fierce was the dream that it left him trembling for a few good minutes. Again, Mei Lin just quietly does what needs to be done, no fuss as she gathers herbs to help Jinghe sleep. I love her style. She knows that Jinghe doesn’t need sweet words but practical help.
Though I have to be amused at his earlier attempts to literally get in bed with her. I thought he would’ve benefited from a cuddle or two but Mei Lin is having none of that LOL
As usual, this was a great performance from Liu Xueyi and Wu Jinyan.
The best fight I’ve seen in a while
For one, it has some of the most intense and well done fight scenes done in a Cdrama since forever. I wrote about it in my last post.
A contrast between the princes
Some will question why the writers included that small storyline with Commander Yang of the prison camp and his subordinate. I actually thought it was brilliant – episodes 14 and 15 contrast how the two princes differ in their treatment of their men.
The Crown Prince does command loyalty, but it’s all through deceit. Just like how he deals with all the people in his life, from General Yin to the Emperor, he projects an aura of kindness and benevolence and strikes at his enemies from the shadows when they least expect it. (Luo Mei will be his latest victim 100%.)
His men think that he’s a great man but will almost always realise it too late what he really is, as Yang’s subordinate finds out. RIP. Commander Yang, I hope you don’t get too big a shock in the afterlife when you find out the truth.
Meanwhile, Jinghe is the total opposite. He projects an image of a decadent and murderous bastard who is willing to kill people for amusement, but in truth, he is kind and loyal to his men. He worries for Qingyan when they separate, and when one of his men died during that massive battle in the bamboo forest he grieved so deeply that Mei Lin and Qingyan had to drag him away.
Both princes command loyalty in their men, but only one is truly loyal to them.
A quiet interlude So they had to go through hell (well, a snowstorm anyway) to reach an isolated, idyllic village.
Btw can I express my appreciation to the producers for filming in actual places? It was soooo satisfying to see a fight in an actual bamboo forest and a whole village! According to a BTS video, they hardly shot in the studio. After the tense, angsty episodes of 13-15, it’s good for our leads (and our brains) to have a vacation lol.
When I saw these scenes in the trailer, I just couldn’t imagine HOW Jinghe and Meilin’s relationship could’ve ended up being so … sweet!
But in episodes 13-15, our couple has seen each other at their worst; they’ve fought side by side like comrades and they’ve saved each other numerous times. The next step, love, is 100% more logical than episode’s 8-11’s cutesy moments. I’m so so glad that my fears about the drama devolving into a frivolous mess didn’t come true. And thank god for the intensity of ep 13. This couple really needed that moment.
(Speaking of which, I had fun reading through Weibo’s reaction to ep 13 – I posted the Weibo reactions to ep 13 on my Tumblr, so you can read it if you like.)
Anyway, 100% for sure they are going to have a Meet Yourself slice of life time in that village where they connect and ya know, get “heated up”.
Darlings, you know what that means, right?
PAIN IS COMING!
My not favourite moments
Xiyan prince is back. WAIIII. I get you need to be second male lead and all, but can you like stop taking up so much screentime? Each time we switch to Xiyan I just legit want to throw a mantao at the TV
Episodes 16-18
Many people complained that these episodes were “out of sync” or that the drama suddenly became another genre. But these episodes stuck with me for a long time. So much so that I rewatched them over and over again. For some reason, they were just so meaningful to me, as impactful as the pivotal episode 13 where we saw Murong Jinghe at his very lowest.
For me, the most meaningful and moving scene was this one – of them dancing around the bonfire.
I couldn’t really articulate why before, but today I decided to write down what I saw in it that moved me so much.
After a while I realised that that dance around the bonfire was a celebration; Jinghe and Meilin had been in pain for so long, tortured by their mission and inner demons, but the dance around the fire marked a turning point in their journey.
These are the reasons why their time in the village was so important to their growth:
It was a reminder and restoration of their true selves
Were they deluding themselves to forget about the outside world, their mission, and their vengeance and indulge themselves in this bucolic paradise? I think in that beautiful village, it was impossible to hold on to the darkness. And who would blame them to indulge in some peace and tranquillity?
During this time, away from the stifling confines of the capital and from the people who smiled at them but held daggers behind their backs, they could finally relax … and fall in love.
A dose of hope that their lives could be more than just about vengeance
Meilin and Jinghe had led such tightly focused lives for ten years: It was for vengeance, and nothing else. There was no space for anything else. Certainly nothing happy.
In this village, there was suddenly a new focus: Love. This made them realise that there was life beyond their quest to take down the crown prince.
Not only do the villagers give them a more human reason to strive for their goal, they could now focus on living for each other.
A reminder of why they have to do what they need to do
By living side by side with the villagers, they are reminded about the ultimate reason why they are fighting for justice and vengeance — to preserve and protect the lives of these good-hearted common folk, so that their children can still run in the fields, and the village could celebrate and have tables of food.
For Murong Jinghe, it’s a restoration of his faith in the common folk
For Jinghe, his time in the village is especially profound. He has never lived as a commoner. His life had always been about privilege and responsibilities. He’s used to being served and bowed to by these folks, and the only other experience he had with commoners is being crippled by them.
In episode 2, we see Jinghe say bitterly, first to Mei Lin and then to his dead mother, that for 10 years, he had regretted the mercy and restraint he had showed towards the people of Qianzhou, because it only resulted in him being crippled and his men dead.
His time in the village was important to give him an insight into how normal people lived and a reminder that they are more than irrational monsters.
When he played with the children, interacted with the village aunties and even sweet, hapless Wei, he is reminded of their humanity. They are kind, good-hearted villagers. These are the people he was meant to protect.
They are no longer the weapon-wielding objects of his hatred, his tormentors, but people with dreams and hopes, whose lives should stay free of fear.
When they danced around that fire, I truly celebrated with them because of all the healing they had done. This village helped them heal.
And notice in this scene that the frame pans back to the bonfire. I think, intentional or not, this is symbolic. Fire has been the source of both Meilin and Jinghe’s tragedies. But this time, the fire is at the centre of a celebration. The meaning of fire has been transformed.
Episode 19
First, have THIS face ☝️
Two, steal his armour and horse
Three, hide the target of your bro’s frantic search at his wedding reception and let her strut out like a queen
Four, ignore your brother completely when he talks to you and talk to his bride instead
Five, ride away like a king
Six, make his bride run after you
Let’s face it, Jinghe is a total drama queen, but man, does he know how to use this skill to his advantage. He wanted people to spread the news of him being alive and well? What way to do it than to gatecrash your bro’s big day with maximum style and drama?
Luo Mei – there are two ways our general will go from here on:
a) Get so pissed off at Jinghe that she joins forces with the Crown Prince to bring him down
b) Pretend that she’s with the Crown Prince so that she can get intel to help Jinghe
I am leaning towards b, mostly because Luo Mei’s character has not shown any tendency to be petty and she puts the safety of her nation first most of all. So far, the writers in this show have been quite consistent with their character writing, so I’m expecting it to be the same.
But hey, you can never know.
Other thoughts:
- I can’t tell if Luo Mei is just naturally expressionless or is it the actress. Hard to judge with her interaction with the Crown Prince if she really means what she says or is playing along. Oh well maybe that’s the purpose lol 😅
- It’s so sweet in a way to see the emperor so excited to hear the news about Jinghe … until he gave him the speech about betraying the people. You are going to so regret this, dad
- Zigu still believing the worst of Jinghe despite what Meilin told her is so annoying 🙃
- Yue Qian be plotting 😑 When is he going to be over?
Ep 20 trailer omaigawd after The Rise of Ning, I’m so done with elders fainting at crucial moments.
Also, ok now we have a valid reason to hate Yue Qin (besides him being a c@kblocker) – he has been a double agent for crown prince all the while. Can someone lend me a cudgel? Need to use it for something.
Episode 20-22
I made this gif so that Luo Mei can slap the Crown Prince endlessly.
You can thank me later.
Our crown prince is peak Evil Villain in these episodes.
Gotta give credit where credit is due: Baron Chen is doing a phenomenal job as the villain. We have pathetic villains, dumb villains, smarmy villains, but he’s not any of those. We all can’t wait to slap him all together. Good job Baron! *slow claps*
He’s that dirt you find at the edge of your sink that you can’t seem to scrape off. And then when you do scrape it off it’ll give you some kind of deadly disease. That kinda villain.
He manages to corner Jinghe to a desperate situation and poor Eunuch Liu !
What a good man, loyal till the end. I loved that little flashback of him and little Jinghe where he taught the rascal a secret gesture which Jinghe used to communicate the emperor’s poisoning.
Jinghe’s suicide mission
Also speaking of nefarious substances, you want couple goals? Most couples get matching T-shirts. Murong Jinghe and Meilin gets matching poisons . Can you significant other do that, huh?? (Talk about spoiling the market.)
Admittedly, when I first found out about Jinghe’s decision to be a lab experiment, I went: I know you love her and all, but bro, talk about terrible timing!
But the more I think about the more I think this is pretty much what Jinghe would do. Ruthless and calculative even with himself, he knows that his time is running short, and what with the crown prince now holding the reins of power (with Luo Mei’s army at his command on top of that) and Jinghe about to execute a suicide mission, he had very little room to manouever.
He had so little confidence that his plan would work that he had his memorial tablet installed in the secret room where he meets with his comrades.
The Reveal
And the whole I am the Shadow Master reveal in episode 23 – initially I thought it was an act of noble idiocy. I mean, yes, it was (as if my girl needs rescuing), but in his eyes, he knew that the only way for her to give up on him completely and not put herself in harm’s way is for her to find out in the most brutal way he was the one who poisoned her and caused her endless misery for ten years.(By the way, did you know that Liu Xueyi crafted 3 different voices for his different personas? You can actually notice the subtle shifts in his voice acting the first 4 episodes of the drama when the personas were present then. I will say this, but Liu Xueyi is someone that you should never ever dub (like Zhang Wanyi) – he is pretty masterful with the line delivery. If you hear him speak in real life, it is NOTHING like the voices he uses in his dramas.)
Back to the whole Yue Qian and Jinghe shall make Mei Lin’s decisions for her arc, the Reveal actually made a lot of sense, and him handing her over to Yue Qian is an expedient and efficient way to keep her alive. And I shall give Yue Qian a pass this time because we have plenty of time later to hate him once Crown Prince exits the stage.
Still, Yue Qian’s “I love her” got me thinking, like how, lil prince? You knew Meilin for only 1.5 seconds and you’re in love with her? You say you want to give Mei Lin a choice and here you are bargaining with Jinghe like she’s a chess piece? Yeah, I’m really convinced.
Anyway, I just have to say I’m so proud of Mei Lin for not falling for Jinghe’s I never loved you because I’ve been an evil bastard all along . I love that this drama never relied on misunderstandings to heighten tension. Meilin is smart as a whip, and she does us proud.
Luo Mei in love? Hard to tell, really
Meanwhile, the Internet is screaming at Luo Mei for falling in love with the crown prince. But I think the scenes of her crying in front of the altar and even killing Eunuch Liu is her coming to terms with the fact that she made a Big Mistake and wrestling with what she must do to preserve the Yin family honour.
I am still not sure if she really loves the prince or is upset that she got conned, because the actress is *not the most expressive* of persons. (Does she have working facial muscles? Asking for a friend.)
Anyway, episode 22 ends in the best way, with Jinghe making his last stand and running his suicide mission. The trailer for episode 23 is murderous (in that it will murder me), and 1 day seems like a damn long time to wait.
Episode 23
Jinghe is beaten and stabbed to every inch of his life in this episode
And really, really paid for his loyalty to the Weibei army and clueless dad
Yet, despite losing 50% of his blood and at death’s door, dreaming of snow
He still looks gorgeous
Life is unfair
Jinghe’s desperate battle
Murong Jinghe’s suicide mission is in full swing as he storms the castle gates (so to speak) with his men. They are vastly outnumbered, and Jinghe isn’t confident that he’ll make a dent, but he is going to try anyway. It’s his last ditch attempt to save the emperor as previous attempts to give him the antidote had failed .
We get a big skirmish, and as far as palace skirmishes go, it isn’t bad, though the fighting scenes in this episode is not as good as episode 14’s or even Mei Lin’s battle with the Crown Prince’s men in episode 22.
It’s a bloody battle and I’m actually appreciative of the director really hurting Jinghe instead of making him some kind of superman with crazy wuxia skills. (Though hilariously on Weibo, some people complained that Jinghe’s martial arts must be bad cos he got hurt so much lol.)
Also, can we say yay to the Lu Lingfeng spear moment we got!
Why did Meilin go off with Yue Qin?
Damnit, Yue Qin c@!kblocker #1, you’re back with a vengeance and I’m back to hating you full time. But in case you missed it Meilin decided to go off with him because if he she didn’t, apparently his life would be in danger. Why do I think this is an absolute bullshit lie
Jinghe was left stumbling after her, unable to stop her.
Did I mention how unfair that someone can be half dead and look this gorgeousBut there’s probably another reason. She’s fulfilled her revenge (though denied having a hand at it towards the end, she bitterly said to Yue Qin at one point), and she no longer has any other reasons to stay around. And I think Jinghe’s admission of being the Assassins’ master rattled her, despite her logical reaction. She probably needed a break from Jinghe and to regain her confidence and some peace.
Thus ends the Crown Prince arc, but I’m with the camp that he got off too easy. I wanted a public trial damnit, not a quiet dispatch in a dark prison. Though, maybe for him and his big ego, such an ignomious death was probably fitting because he’s being told by the emperor, that he doesn’t even warrant a public execution, he should be quickly dispatched like month-old rotting food at the back of the fridge – quickly and with as much disgust as possible.
The emperor
One thing that dissatisfied me with this episode was that he didn’t even visit Jinghe after he fell from battle. Hey, dad, he literally took a sword for you, not once but many times, and not even a visit? Most probably it was an oversight from the writers/producers’ part, as they prob wanted to prioritise Meilin’s bedside visit, but having the emperor just be there, would go a long way to convey that he was concerned.
Alternatively, it could be that the emperor was in a tight spot. Both of his sons had fought with each other. One was downright evil in what he did, killing loyal officials and then poisoning him, his other son, meanwhile, had a secret army (and a secret assassin’s league but don’t tell dad). This does not look good for him, and he needs to show that he’s above it all and in control.
Still, one significant moment that you probably missed was the emperor admitting, in court, no less – that he didn’t teach his sons well, Qingzhou’s disaster was also his fault; basically putting the blame on himself, and declaring that he will write what amounts to a public admission that he fucked up.
He didn’t have to do that; he could’ve downplayed it or just blame the Crown prince entirely, but he took some of the blame.
This is a very BIG move for an emperor in China back then as this is almost close to admitting that he was wrong and had failed the people, and the philosophy behind the Mandate of Heaven is that the emperor is given the right the rule only if he serves the people well, but it’ll be removed if he does the opposite. that admission puts him in a vulnerable position politically.
That little surprised look Murong Jinghe gave showed just how significant this move was.
This is the emperor apologising to his son in the most public way possible. Rather moving, really.
And as Jinghe walks out of the hall, he sees his dead men (including the warrior that died in episode 14), walking back ot the palace, finally able to return home with dignity after having their names cleared. And Jinghe and the Weibei soldiers bidding each other farewell. 😭 What a moment. SNIFF.
Luo Mei’s decision
As I suspected, Luo Mei comes to Jinghe (and the emperor’s) rescue, though that doesn’t excuse her killing Eunuch Liu in the last episode, though it’s said that Liu was begging her to kill him, so maybe she was right to do so.
But what happens next got me scratching my head. She … decides to visit the crown prince in prison in her wedding gown, and it seemed like she really does love the Xueling.
Like girl, you must’ve smoked that incense good, it changed your brain chemistry and downgraded your IQ or something.
Yes, I did not understand how or why Luo Mei would STILL be in love with the prince, despite knowing that he’s traitorous bastard, This is probably down to the actress’ inability to portray the nuance needed for such a role. Luo Mei is reserved, cold and it probably takes an exceptional actress to convey her slowly falling in love with Crown Prince, being torn by what she discovered by him etc. Instead, it left me confused by it all. Eh.
Did the crown prince get off easy?
Life is unfair, but his death by poison in a dark prison cell is kinder than Li Qing’s death by fish scale flaying (whatever that means but it sure sounds painful as eff), but this is inline with royals getting a kinder punishment than commoners back then.
What’s bizzaro to me was that final “love scene” between Luo Mei and our crown prince. Felt zero emotions for them during this scene. And are they telling me that the prince did all those evil things for looooove?
And why was Luo Mei the one to deliver the cup of poison?
—
Final verdict: A fantasic episode but I felt that there were moments where they could’ve upped the emotional stakes and tension more.
Episode 24
I told myself that I’ll only watch Kill Me Love Me episodes on Thursday.
WHO WAS I KIDDING BWAHAHA
I pounced on this sucker the moment it was released like I was a Swiftie trying to buy Taylor Swift concert tickets. Pathetic lol
Luo Mei sets off
Luo Mei caused quite a ruckus in fandom in the last episode, with lots of people confused by her love for the Crown Prince, but I’ve come round to thinking that she just had a soft spot for someone who expressed love for her. Her redeeming moment was when she thanked Jinghe for helping her choose correctly.
So, in essence, she was blinded by love (I guess?) or desire to be loved, rather, and snapped out it in the nick of time, but the price is high.
Do you hate me?
But yes, we finally get THE CONVERSATION between the emperor and Jinghe. It’s interesting that he has this conversation in the same place he prayed to the empress and Jinghe, asking their forgiveness for not pursuing/revealing the truth behind Jinghe’s “death” and letting the Crown Prince continue unconvicted.
And the Emperor asks the million dollar question: Do you hate me?
Lemme think, dad. You exiled your crippled son to some cold corner of the kingdom, never defended his honor and basically stripped him of everything that made him who he was by believing the Crown Prince’s lies. I don’t know? What do you think??
Jinghe, surprisingly, said almost as quickly: Yes, I hate you.
Well, that was refreshing!
But quickly toned it down with a diplomatic answer, like a dutiful subject would do. The emperor wasn’t buying it and basically said that he was lying to him.
And yes, the gloves come off and Jinghe demands, why didn’t you believe me? Why didn’t you investigate?
And, the emperor basically told Jinghe that he was a convenient explanation to appease kingdom about the Qingzhou disaster, he had to placate the kingdom, and that well, it wasn’t a convenient time to investigate.
You can see immediately that the emperor realised he done f**ked up, as Jinghe instantly clams up and goes back to loyal subject mode, and gives a flat, diplomatic answer: “I understand. You’re the emperor of the nation, not just my father.”
The emperor tries to bridge the gap, but stops himself. He probably realised that he totally deserved that cold shoulder.
And he finally admits his real motives: Greed. This is interesting because during his “confession” a few moments earlier, he admitted that he told Jinghe that he had convinced himself that Jinghe was greedy and thus caused the massacre. But now he admits that he was the one that was greedy.
This is what I love about Kill Me Love Me. The writers (when they’re doing great anyway) doesn’t feed me the story nor overexplain things lest they think I’m too stupid to get the subtext.
Also, with actors like Liu Xueyi and Jiang Kai (who plays the emperor), it’s a delight to interpret the microexpressions being exchanged. I love that Jinghe refuses to meet the emperor’s eyes when he speaks those “diplomatic” lines, but only does so when he’s truthful.
(But with less than capable actors, however… it can be confusing, as we endured with Luo Mei.)
Is the emperor a bad dad? Well, yeah. But in the pantheon of bad emperor dads, he is at least trying to be better.
Xiyan Xiyan Xiyan
Yeah you can hear my lack of enthusiasm about the whole thing happening o’er there.
I have this theory that Yue Qian may not be this arc’s Big Bad, but my confidence is shaken somewhat when he starts mooning about making Meilin his Princess Heir … despite telling her that he wants to give her freedom.
Sorry man, but the actor is not capable of being Big Bad #2. I’m thinking that the Xiyan general and the king could be the real antagonists and Yue Qian is just there to make things worse for everyone LOL
Budding romance?
And then there’s this moment with Zigu and the emperor. Er, I’m seriously not sure what to think between the two. Is it more like a father-daughter relationship, or, er, something more? In this episode there seems to be an indication it’s more than that. LOL. Oh dear, I can almost hear international fans screaming in horror. (On Weibo I don’t hear as much of this, interestingly.)
Although marriages like these is common practice back then, I’m not sure what to feel about it. It’s just awkward for me lol. I guess I’m just a modern gal.
Qingzhou’s restoration
I’m actually very excited for this storyline. It gives our poor dejected prince something to do besides mope over Mei Lin and water plants. It’s a full circle for his story, and it’ll help him heal by restoring Qingzou after what the crown prince did.
Something interesting I found on Weibo was that some users commented that the reason why Jinghe didn’t tie his hair up was because he was never given a coming-of-age ceremony due to being framed for the massacre. I think that’s part of the reason, but it’s also part of his “mad prince” persona, who doesn’t care for the rules of propriety, who is very far from respectable.
But now that he’s cleared of the crime, about to be made crown prince (as heavily hinted by the emperor) he can now put up his hair like any respected official.
Episodes 27-32
I bought Xpress episodes but goddamn it there’s some bug that prevents me from unmasking it, but I’m a tech nerd so I have my ways. I wrote a whole lot of thoughts and then Reddit decides to erase it randomly lol. Tech is not playing well with me tonight.
Warning: Sincerely, don’t click on this before watching the episodes.
Yue Qin’s craziness
Er, YQ going all Count Dracula was weird, but I guess it works to cause more drama for Meilin.
Jinghe’s mad era
Yue Qin, you had ONE JOB.
He deserved all the punches Jinghe gave him.
But, yeah omg it’s so sad to see Jinghe completely off his sanity. You may wonder why, but he’s been through hell for ten years, and Meilin was the only hope he had for a better life beyond revenge. The thought of revenge sustained him, and I think if he hadn’t met her, and successfully executed his plan, he probably would’ve killed himself from the despair.
He also probably blames himself like hell for what happened to her. In that speech to her “corpse” he said, “It’s my fault that you died. I harmed you. It was me who handed you to someone else”.
It must’ve been difficult for Qingyan, already a mother hen, to see him deteriorate to this point. And stopping him in the nick of time before he killed himself! The poor man has been to hell and back for his master, seeing him at his very worst to … his happiest to his very worst again.
As usual, it was mesmerising to see Liu Xueyi in this segment. Now we can proceed to …
Thoughts about the ending
Seriously just a warning not to proceed and unclick before watching the drama. I think you should watch the show before you do this, trust me lol.
Click HERE to read thoughts about endingYes, right, so remember what I said about NOT CLICKING THE ENDING? I was impatient and decided to do so lol. I just wanted to be over the anxiety of waiting lol.
I suppose for a CDrama, it was a better ending than I thought. I think mentally, I prefer to end the drama at their wedding and not proceed – and if you prefer to remember them at their happiest, maybe end it there.
Uh, Zigu dying. Why? What was the point of her arc beyond: Life sucks and then we die? lol
I think the cruellest thing was that on Weibo, the wedding scene was leaked first so everyone thought it was a good ending.
Then the express episodes landed and now people are hella mad.
Let’s not get started with MDL lol, they be rioting there.
I think, thematically, it didn’t make sense to end it this way, what with the talk about undying flowers and all that. It should’ve ended the way the novel did, happily with them as emperor and empress.
However, since they said that she got to live to be empress, I’m of the opinion that he managed to prolonged her life somehow, and he joined her quite quickly after. Life does happen, I guess. Why do we Chinese people like tragedy so much hahaha
That little scene of them meeting if the Qingzhou fire hadn’t happened, however, was a little cruel lol. Like yeah, remind us about the what if, thanks!
I think for me is I find it hard to process that Jinghe got to live with the guilt that he caused her early death for the rest of his life. It just doesn’t feel like a good closure for him What do you think about this?
Personally, I think the scriptwriters wanted to be artsty & memorable rather than conclude the story in a satisfying way for the audience.
But so yeah, I’m heartbroken but yet at the same time I’m rather pleased that they still got to spend some time together. This was the same feeling I got from Mysterious Lotus Casebook. You can only do so much to twist fate to meet your needs. In the end, your previous actions and decisions will catch up with you, no matter how noble your intentions in the present.
I wrote such a long essay about the ending that I turned it into a separate post: Kill Me Love Me reflections about the ending.
(Funny story: My post eventually got picked up and translated into Chinese by someone I was following on Weibo. Thought about meta!)
What I liked
- Camerawork – The crew actually bothered to shoot in actual locations. You do not know how rare this is! It was a delight to see these beautiful locations instead of pretending that this studio set was a forest, a town or a temple.
- Fight scenes – I thought Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty 2 was great. This exceeded it!
- Kissing scenes – The steamiest, most real and emotional kissing scenes that have ever graced Cdrama screens!!
- Solid, high-tier acting – Liu Xueyi and to an extent, Wu Jinyan, has set the bar so high for me I couldn’t move on to other dramas after that unless it was that good. And … no other dramas matched this quality of acting for me this season. Sobs. It has ruined me.
What I didn’t like
- The script fell short of what it could be, had plot holes, and did not coherently communicate the drama’s themes. If they did that better, the ending would’ve been more appreciated.
Conclusion
As you can see, the drama had mostly good points for me, and very few bad points … except where it mattered, the script. Sigh. It was NEARLY there!
This made this a tough drama to rate, so I’m going to use some math!
- Fighting scenes: 9 (the best I’ve seen in years)
- Acting: solid 9 for Liu Xueyi and Wu Jinyan
- Writing (Script): 7 (sigh). It has moments of utter brilliance and is especially good at character development, but fumbled many major plot points. The last arc was a big, big drag.
- Costumes: 8
- Camerawork: 8 (they took pains to film in actual places, and didn’t do much studio work! Highly appreciated.)
And I average out the score to …
Final rating: 3 out of 5 stars
#3Stars #CDramas #China #ChineseDrama #CostumedDrama #KillMeLoveMe #LiuXueYi #LiuXueyi #TV
-
Kill Me Love Me review
Liu Xueyi is an actor I’ve been watching for a long time. He really stood out in his second male lead role, In Blossom, even if the acting and storytelling of the drama were … inconsistent, so I really want him to be in a drama that really propels him to the big leagues soon. This is one actor that truly deserves to be there.
Kill Me Love Me could be it. (Cross fingers)
If you have not watched Kill Me Love Me, be sure to avoid the spoilerific Watch Log and head straight to the non-spoiler Final Review section instead.
- The story
- Characters
- Watch Log
- Thoughts about the ending
- What I liked
- What I didn’t like
- Conclusion
- Final rating: 3 out of 5 stars
If you’re accessing this from Mastodon, please head to my blog and bookmark the page as it’s not the final edition. I will be updating it until the drama ends.
The story
Prince Murong Jinghe of the Great Yan Dynasty is known as the “lunatic prince”, the “butcher general”. Ten years ago, he led his Weibei Army to reclaim Qingzhou, a lost territory. But soon after his army entered the city, a devastating fire broke out. The people of Qingzhou, angered, accused Murong Jing He of ordering the fire, massacring the people in retaliation against the people for their alleged betrayal of Great Yan.
Mei Lin lost her entire family in the fire. Consumed by vengeance, she joins a secret organization called Shadow Works, where she undergoes years of brutal training. After ten years, Mei Lin receives her first mission: Kill Prince Murong Jinghe, her greatest enemy.
Characters
- Murong Jinghe (played by Liu Xue Yi): A hated prince who is said to have ordered the death of countless civilians ten years ago.
- Mei Lin (played by Wu Jin Yan): An assassin and survivor of Qingzhou. She is tasked with killing Murong Jinghe.
- Murong Xuanlie (played by Baron Chen): They may be brothers, but the crown prince schemes against Murong Jinghe actively.
- Yue Qin (played by Bi Wen Jun): A prince of Xiyan who is a hostage in Yan. He knows Mei Lin from the past.
- Luo Mei (played by Zhao Xiao Tang): A general of Yan and childhood friend of Jinghe.
- Zi Gu (played by Huang Ri Ying): A princess of Xiyan sent to marry the Emperor of Yan as a gesture peace.
Watch Log
Read this part only after you’ve watched or while watching the Show. You’ve been warned!
Episodes 1 to 3
What can I say? Drama hooked me in immediately, especially with THAT kiss. Sweet, summer chile, I wasn’t ready.
I mean, the red robe ☝️ (and its occupant) says everything you need to know about why I’m watching Kill Me Love Me live 🙃
OK, fine, it has a thrilling, pulpy plot involving an assassin and a crazed, murderous prince, so what’s not to like?
Episodes 4 and 5
I thought it was rather brilliant that Murong Jinghe used his awful reputation to save Mei Lin. As he was explaining to the emperor, who doubted his plan, “If they could believe the general of Weibei army massacred Qingzhou, they would have no problem believing I’ve become a lecher.”
Ouch, dad, did you hear that? No, you didn’t, because you belong to the cohort of stupid emperors in Cdramaland who can’t see your sons plotting right under your nose. UGH. Cdrama dads are going to be the death of me.
Xiyan prince – Giving Meilin those cakes was a chance for the enemy to use his act of kindness and also, even if he did execute his plan, it would’ve destroyed the Xiyan peace treaty. Dude, you’re as naive as your sister. Oh dear, I hope you wise up quickly in the Yan court because it ain’t for the naive. I’m not that enthused about the second male lead coming in.
Mei Ling’s hallucinations – At first I was eh about the whole hallucination that Mei Ling was having. Sure, it was a little funny, but it kinda broke the angst/tension for a bit, but it was insight into her inner thoughts which Jinghe will never see.
Jinghe’s encounter with the lady general – it’s rather sad that he had to put on this act of being an indolent shadow of what he was, but you have to do what you have to do to execute your plan. But imagine having all your loved ones view you as a useless, hopeless case, not sure how it doesn’t eat him every day.
I can see that he’s been “lightened” a bit, and you can see he has a good streak beneath all that darkness. Still, I hope they don’t do it too quickly.
Episodes 6
The second male lead comes in with his schemes and I’m like, go away you irritant. You’re taking precious time from our couple and wasting our time with your impossible mission. But alas, it’s an unspoken rule of CDramaland to have a second male/female lead to cause trouble and it would seem that our Xiyan prince Yue Qin and General Luo Yin is it.
I’m pretty glad that in this episode, Jinghe told the Crown Prince to stop his “concerned brother” act because I think I’m genuinely going to puke if he continued all that smarmy acting.
It’s good to see the claws unsheathed, and our men declaring war on each other. Still, it’s pretty heart-breaking to know that when they were boys they created mischief with each other and generally had a friendly relationship (at least on Jinghe’s part). The handprints in the memorial hall is a haunting reminder of their lost brotherhood.
I wonder what happened to their relationship. (Looks sideways at the emperor.)
Episodes 7
I’m actually surprised that Mei Lin is over her hatred for Murong Jinghe so quickly. 10 years is a long time to hate someone and want to see him dead. But I suppose our assassin is a practical lady who just wants to get on the business of avenging the dead, and she sees an ally in him. And as the mystery behind the embroidery comes to head, she must see him as a fellow victim of the massacre and form some kind of emotional bond with him.
Uhm, can’t wait for the inevitable severing of ties when she finds out that he’s her Master. eheh.
Of all scenes in this episode, I did not expect Murong Jinghe to do some embroidery with Mei Lin. Hey, this is what bonding is all about! (He’s probably the first male lead I’ve seen doing embroidery with the heroine!)
In this episode we see our Crown Prince smoothly lying his way into General Luo’s heart. She’s not buying it for now but the trailers seem to indicate something else. Girl, run! But you’re second female lead so you’re destined to do something to trip our main couple so, I don’t think you’ll be running anytime soon.
Got to say that I admire the ruthless efficiency of the Crown Prince’s plan – it had demolished Jinghe completely 10 years ago. Not only was he left disabled, his reputation was completely ruined in the eyes of the nation and the people that mattered – his loved ones.
I think if there’s anything to be said, is that Jinghe belongs to a family where there’s a … trust deficit. The heartbreak of knowing that your family will believe the worst of you must be unendurable. And seeing how the two brothers were before, the Crown Prince have always had this malicious, lying streak, and the young Jinghe appeared naive or unaware of it.
So far, I’m still loving the pace of the storytelling, though I’m a little uncertain about the humorous moments. I just want them to retain more of the angst, ya know? But that could make the show very dour indeed. However, the comedy moments didn’t work with me. Oh well.
But I’m sure more suffering is coming, so angst will be returning. I’m seated.
Episode 8
Murong Jinghe and Mei Lin go … dating? More cute moments with our “couple” as they put on a show for the whole of Yan and the Crown Prince to convince him that, nah, he isn’t up to anything and he’s 100% a lecherous bastard.
The crown prince makes moves with General Luo and she’s not impressed. Yue Qian gets a shock when his manservant’s Shumo plan to smuggle Mei Lin out of Yan goes horribly wrong. Murong Jinghe manages to capture Minister Zhang, one of the Crown Prince’s henchmen.
NGL, episodes 8 and 9 were the eps that got me really worried and fearing for the drama’s health. I don’t think the writers (or perhaps Wang Jinyan) managed the transition from stoic angry assassin to semi-bubbly accomplice very well. I found the comedic moments between Jinghe and Mei Lin rather painful and wanted them to stop lol.
Episode 10
My faith in the show is raised when Jinghe’s public displays of crackheadedness make a reappearance. Hello, mad prince! I missed you! Our fake couple ramps up the Public Displays of Affection. Oddly this was far more tolerable for me than their cutesy moments.
And then more palace intrigue stuff. More please! So much so that it leaves General Luo mad and the Crown Prince smirking that he’s winning General Luo. (Yeah, no.)
Episode 11
The crown prince and Jinghe fights over “ownership” of Minister Zhang in a dramatic way.
I’m enjoying the poisonous banter between the Crown Prince and Jinghe. Ah, shades of Joy of Life, where Fan Xian and the second prince exchange pleasantries laced with threats. Jinghe and Crown Prince’s exchanges may not be as delicately terrifying as our JOL duo but it’s really wonderful to see two great actors – Liu Xueyi and Baron Chen – duke it out.
(Speaking of Baron Chen, you really need to check out Meteor, Butterfly, Sword.)
Something shifted in episode 10.
While episode 8 and 9 made me wonder if the show had jumped the shark, 10 and 11 made me worry a little less.
I was especially ecstatic when I saw trailers for eps 12 and 13. 100% celebrated when I saw that our “couple” is back to being furious with each other. Yay! Can we keep them this way, please?
Also, Mei Lin, if you thought what he did with the 10 beauties was bad, wait till you find out about that master of yours …
To be honest, I initially worried about the direction of the show. But after rewatching the trailers and the feature on how they made the drama, I regained some of that lost confidence because I could see that there are some exciting upcoming arcs, and I really want to see them played out, such as a rebellion by the Crown Prince, a war, some shenanigans with dead bodies with Jinghe being the unhinged prince again…
So, I’m back to enjoying the drama. Maybe I’m just an eternally optimistic person who can see the silver lining in everything. Maybe it’s the sight of Jinghe in his resplendent burgandy robes, staring down at Mei Lin as she dances. (Damn you, producers, for weakening my rational side.) Who knows? I’m just enjoying myself.
To be honest, I never really wanted Jinghe to be thoroughly dark despite what the trailers hinted. I knew that it also wouldn’t be 100% possible with the rules in Cdramaland right now, but most of all, I don’t think I’d have enjoyed it very much if he was truly callous, cold and basically mad like he is in the novel.
In my heart, I knew Jinghe would be a green flag cloaked in red. But my disappointment stemmed from the poor character writing of Mei Lin and the awkward transition of Jinghe being menacing to … nice? I get that’s the face he shows the people at his side, but I feel that it was too quick with Mei Lin.
Perhaps it’ll improve.
I’m quite pleased with Jinghe’s character writing, however. (Ok except for the quick acceptance of Mei Lin.) And even the Crown Prince has a good treatment by the writers. But Mei Lin needs better definition and steel to reflect her supposed deadliness and resilience.
So, I think I’m on the side of, “I’m still enjoying this drama, but I’m lowering my expectations a tad.”
I have to remind myself that Legend of Shen Li lost me for a good half a dozen or more episodes, so much so that I nearly gave up on it. Then, somehow magically around the 20th episode or so, it regained its initial spark, and it ended up being one of my favourite dramas of 2024.
Episode 12
The Xiyan prince is about to leave and he can bring the beauties with the burnt mark home, but of course, the crown prince has other ideas. Meanwhile, Jinghe and Mei Lin fall out when she discovers just how ruthless he can be to achieve his plans.
(Uhm ya, you don’t know half of it, lady)
Episode 13
The royal hunt is on and the Crown Prince is up to no good. Well, so is Jinghe as he’s intent on capturing Li Qi, a man who is connected to the tragedy at Qingyuan 10 years ago. But his plan involves jumping off cliffs…
Here’s what I can say, it is funny how quickly the story improved once the Xiyan prince left and we don’t have to endure 2ML shenanigans (for too long anyway) 😆
His little arc in ep 12 is pretty interesting tho. Try not to spoil yourself before watching it.
Anyway, I was super concerned about the drama, as I said, esp with episodes 7-9, that the show had jumped sharked. My primary concern was tha they were going to shortcut their emotional and relationship growth by making them be cute with each other from the get go.
But something turned at ep 10, and I can say at eps 12 and 13 that the tension, darkness and Murong Jinghe we knew in eps 1-3 is baaaack. Even Mei Lin seems better defined and her character writing is more solid.
Our couple is back to threatening each other and dang it Liu Xueyi somehow makes threats sound like seduction.
But what really shocked me, was the last 10 min of ep 13. Such a short scene, but a massively important one as Mei Lin finally realised the depth of suffering Jinghe had gone through.
It was a scene I never ever thought I will see in a cdrama, a kind of humiliation that is so awful in its rawness it will make you turn away in shock.
I am so used to Cdrama heroes being portrayed as perfect, always with beautiful skin, always suave and sure of himself.
But here, Jinghe is at his lowest in front of possibly the worst person: someone he has growing feelings for.
I am not going to spoil you about what happened, because this is a scene that needed to be seen to feel the impact.
Personally, I am actually agog that the producers a actually went there! But I really, really liked that they did. That’s brave writing.
Liu Xueyi and Wu Jinyan acted the heck out of that scene. That quiet, respectful way she treated him. She didn’t say a word and went to gather wood.
His devastated look as he was forced to LOOK AT THAT LOG as Mei Lin drags him away… the whole scene left me speechless really.
Perfectly acted, all of it. And both actors hardly said a word to each other during this time. I can see that LXY WJY are not the type of actors who want to pose and look pretty for the camera all the time, that’s for sure.
Honestly, I am glad Liu Xueyi was given this moment because he really showed what he was capable of here.
And ya know, I am not the type to cry when watching any drama. Heck didn’t even cry watching the Titanic, but I almost did with this one, because this is a humiliation none of us want to ever endure.
Anyway, they have An Important Conversation after the whole thing which will define their relationship now. If they ever do have lovey-dovey moments in future ep, it will feel more organic than forced.
Episodes 14 to 15
Jinghe’s night terrors AKA can we get him a therapist?
Mei Lin sees Jinghe at a vulnerable moment once more as he suffers through a horrible nightmare of the moment he was nearly beaten to death and crippled. So fierce was the dream that it left him trembling for a few good minutes. Again, Mei Lin just quietly does what needs to be done, no fuss as she gathers herbs to help Jinghe sleep. I love her style. She knows that Jinghe doesn’t need sweet words but practical help.
Though I have to be amused at his earlier attempts to literally get in bed with her. I thought he would’ve benefited from a cuddle or two but Mei Lin is having none of that LOL
As usual, this was a great performance from Liu Xueyi and Wu Jinyan.
The best fight I’ve seen in a while
For one, it has some of the most intense and well done fight scenes done in a Cdrama since forever. I wrote about it in my last post.
A contrast between the princes
Some will question why the writers included that small storyline with Commander Yang of the prison camp and his subordinate. I actually thought it was brilliant – episodes 14 and 15 contrast how the two princes differ in their treatment of their men.
The Crown Prince does command loyalty, but it’s all through deceit. Just like how he deals with all the people in his life, from General Yin to the Emperor, he projects an aura of kindness and benevolence and strikes at his enemies from the shadows when they least expect it. (Luo Mei will be his latest victim 100%.)
His men think that he’s a great man but will almost always realise it too late what he really is, as Yang’s subordinate finds out. RIP. Commander Yang, I hope you don’t get too big a shock in the afterlife when you find out the truth.
Meanwhile, Jinghe is the total opposite. He projects an image of a decadent and murderous bastard who is willing to kill people for amusement, but in truth, he is kind and loyal to his men. He worries for Qingyan when they separate, and when one of his men died during that massive battle in the bamboo forest he grieved so deeply that Mei Lin and Qingyan had to drag him away.
Both princes command loyalty in their men, but only one is truly loyal to them.
A quiet interlude So they had to go through hell (well, a snowstorm anyway) to reach an isolated, idyllic village.
Btw can I express my appreciation to the producers for filming in actual places? It was soooo satisfying to see a fight in an actual bamboo forest and a whole village! According to a BTS video, they hardly shot in the studio. After the tense, angsty episodes of 13-15, it’s good for our leads (and our brains) to have a vacation lol.
When I saw these scenes in the trailer, I just couldn’t imagine HOW Jinghe and Meilin’s relationship could’ve ended up being so … sweet!
But in episodes 13-15, our couple has seen each other at their worst; they’ve fought side by side like comrades and they’ve saved each other numerous times. The next step, love, is 100% more logical than episode’s 8-11’s cutesy moments. I’m so so glad that my fears about the drama devolving into a frivolous mess didn’t come true. And thank god for the intensity of ep 13. This couple really needed that moment.
(Speaking of which, I had fun reading through Weibo’s reaction to ep 13 – I posted the Weibo reactions to ep 13 on my Tumblr, so you can read it if you like.)
Anyway, 100% for sure they are going to have a Meet Yourself slice of life time in that village where they connect and ya know, get “heated up”.
Darlings, you know what that means, right?
PAIN IS COMING!
My not favourite moments
Xiyan prince is back. WAIIII. I get you need to be second male lead and all, but can you like stop taking up so much screentime? Each time we switch to Xiyan I just legit want to throw a mantao at the TV
Episodes 16-18
Many people complained that these episodes were “out of sync” or that the drama suddenly became another genre. But these episodes stuck with me for a long time. So much so that I rewatched them over and over again. For some reason, they were just so meaningful to me, as impactful as the pivotal episode 13 where we saw Murong Jinghe at his very lowest.
For me, the most meaningful and moving scene was this one – of them dancing around the bonfire.
I couldn’t really articulate why before, but today I decided to write down what I saw in it that moved me so much.
After a while I realised that that dance around the bonfire was a celebration; Jinghe and Meilin had been in pain for so long, tortured by their mission and inner demons, but the dance around the fire marked a turning point in their journey.
These are the reasons why their time in the village was so important to their growth:
It was a reminder and restoration of their true selves
Were they deluding themselves to forget about the outside world, their mission, and their vengeance and indulge themselves in this bucolic paradise? I think in that beautiful village, it was impossible to hold on to the darkness. And who would blame them to indulge in some peace and tranquillity?
During this time, away from the stifling confines of the capital and from the people who smiled at them but held daggers behind their backs, they could finally relax … and fall in love.
A dose of hope that their lives could be more than just about vengeance
Meilin and Jinghe had led such tightly focused lives for ten years: It was for vengeance, and nothing else. There was no space for anything else. Certainly nothing happy.
In this village, there was suddenly a new focus: Love. This made them realise that there was life beyond their quest to take down the crown prince.
Not only do the villagers give them a more human reason to strive for their goal, they could now focus on living for each other.
A reminder of why they have to do what they need to do
By living side by side with the villagers, they are reminded about the ultimate reason why they are fighting for justice and vengeance — to preserve and protect the lives of these good-hearted common folk, so that their children can still run in the fields, and the village could celebrate and have tables of food.
For Murong Jinghe, it’s a restoration of his faith in the common folk
For Jinghe, his time in the village is especially profound. He has never lived as a commoner. His life had always been about privilege and responsibilities. He’s used to being served and bowed to by these folks, and the only other experience he had with commoners is being crippled by them.
In episode 2, we see Jinghe say bitterly, first to Mei Lin and then to his dead mother, that for 10 years, he had regretted the mercy and restraint he had showed towards the people of Qianzhou, because it only resulted in him being crippled and his men dead.
His time in the village was important to give him an insight into how normal people lived and a reminder that they are more than irrational monsters.
When he played with the children, interacted with the village aunties and even sweet, hapless Wei, he is reminded of their humanity. They are kind, good-hearted villagers. These are the people he was meant to protect.
They are no longer the weapon-wielding objects of his hatred, his tormentors, but people with dreams and hopes, whose lives should stay free of fear.
When they danced around that fire, I truly celebrated with them because of all the healing they had done. This village helped them heal.
And notice in this scene that the frame pans back to the bonfire. I think, intentional or not, this is symbolic. Fire has been the source of both Meilin and Jinghe’s tragedies. But this time, the fire is at the centre of a celebration. The meaning of fire has been transformed.
Episode 19
First, have THIS face ☝️
Two, steal his armour and horse
Three, hide the target of your bro’s frantic search at his wedding reception and let her strut out like a queen
Four, ignore your brother completely when he talks to you and talk to his bride instead
Five, ride away like a king
Six, make his bride run after you
Let’s face it, Jinghe is a total drama queen, but man, does he know how to use this skill to his advantage. He wanted people to spread the news of him being alive and well? What way to do it than to gatecrash your bro’s big day with maximum style and drama?
Luo Mei – there are two ways our general will go from here on:
a) Get so pissed off at Jinghe that she joins forces with the Crown Prince to bring him down
b) Pretend that she’s with the Crown Prince so that she can get intel to help Jinghe
I am leaning towards b, mostly because Luo Mei’s character has not shown any tendency to be petty and she puts the safety of her nation first most of all. So far, the writers in this show have been quite consistent with their character writing, so I’m expecting it to be the same.
But hey, you can never know.
Other thoughts:
- I can’t tell if Luo Mei is just naturally expressionless or is it the actress. Hard to judge with her interaction with the Crown Prince if she really means what she says or is playing along. Oh well maybe that’s the purpose lol 😅
- It’s so sweet in a way to see the emperor so excited to hear the news about Jinghe … until he gave him the speech about betraying the people. You are going to so regret this, dad
- Zigu still believing the worst of Jinghe despite what Meilin told her is so annoying 🙃
- Yue Qian be plotting 😑 When is he going to be over?
Ep 20 trailer omaigawd after The Rise of Ning, I’m so done with elders fainting at crucial moments.
Also, ok now we have a valid reason to hate Yue Qin (besides him being a c@kblocker) – he has been a double agent for crown prince all the while. Can someone lend me a cudgel? Need to use it for something.
Episode 20-22
I made this gif so that Luo Mei can slap the Crown Prince endlessly.
You can thank me later.
Our crown prince is peak Evil Villain in these episodes.
Gotta give credit where credit is due: Baron Chen is doing a phenomenal job as the villain. We have pathetic villains, dumb villains, smarmy villains, but he’s not any of those. We all can’t wait to slap him all together. Good job Baron! *slow claps*
He’s that dirt you find at the edge of your sink that you can’t seem to scrape off. And then when you do scrape it off it’ll give you some kind of deadly disease. That kinda villain.
He manages to corner Jinghe to a desperate situation and poor Eunuch Liu !
What a good man, loyal till the end. I loved that little flashback of him and little Jinghe where he taught the rascal a secret gesture which Jinghe used to communicate the emperor’s poisoning.
Jinghe’s suicide mission
Also speaking of nefarious substances, you want couple goals? Most couples get matching T-shirts. Murong Jinghe and Meilin gets matching poisons . Can you significant other do that, huh?? (Talk about spoiling the market.)
Admittedly, when I first found out about Jinghe’s decision to be a lab experiment, I went: I know you love her and all, but bro, talk about terrible timing!
But the more I think about the more I think this is pretty much what Jinghe would do. Ruthless and calculative even with himself, he knows that his time is running short, and what with the crown prince now holding the reins of power (with Luo Mei’s army at his command on top of that) and Jinghe about to execute a suicide mission, he had very little room to manouever.
He had so little confidence that his plan would work that he had his memorial tablet installed in the secret room where he meets with his comrades.
The Reveal
And the whole I am the Shadow Master reveal in episode 23 – initially I thought it was an act of noble idiocy. I mean, yes, it was (as if my girl needs rescuing), but in his eyes, he knew that the only way for her to give up on him completely and not put herself in harm’s way is for her to find out in the most brutal way he was the one who poisoned her and caused her endless misery for ten years.(By the way, did you know that Liu Xueyi crafted 3 different voices for his different personas? You can actually notice the subtle shifts in his voice acting the first 4 episodes of the drama when the personas were present then. I will say this, but Liu Xueyi is someone that you should never ever dub (like Zhang Wanyi) – he is pretty masterful with the line delivery. If you hear him speak in real life, it is NOTHING like the voices he uses in his dramas.)
Back to the whole Yue Qian and Jinghe shall make Mei Lin’s decisions for her arc, the Reveal actually made a lot of sense, and him handing her over to Yue Qian is an expedient and efficient way to keep her alive. And I shall give Yue Qian a pass this time because we have plenty of time later to hate him once Crown Prince exits the stage.
Still, Yue Qian’s “I love her” got me thinking, like how, lil prince? You knew Meilin for only 1.5 seconds and you’re in love with her? You say you want to give Mei Lin a choice and here you are bargaining with Jinghe like she’s a chess piece? Yeah, I’m really convinced.
Anyway, I just have to say I’m so proud of Mei Lin for not falling for Jinghe’s I never loved you because I’ve been an evil bastard all along . I love that this drama never relied on misunderstandings to heighten tension. Meilin is smart as a whip, and she does us proud.
Luo Mei in love? Hard to tell, really
Meanwhile, the Internet is screaming at Luo Mei for falling in love with the crown prince. But I think the scenes of her crying in front of the altar and even killing Eunuch Liu is her coming to terms with the fact that she made a Big Mistake and wrestling with what she must do to preserve the Yin family honour.
I am still not sure if she really loves the prince or is upset that she got conned, because the actress is *not the most expressive* of persons. (Does she have working facial muscles? Asking for a friend.)
Anyway, episode 22 ends in the best way, with Jinghe making his last stand and running his suicide mission. The trailer for episode 23 is murderous (in that it will murder me), and 1 day seems like a damn long time to wait.
Episode 23
Jinghe is beaten and stabbed to every inch of his life in this episode
And really, really paid for his loyalty to the Weibei army and clueless dad
Yet, despite losing 50% of his blood and at death’s door, dreaming of snow
He still looks gorgeous
Life is unfair
Jinghe’s desperate battle
Murong Jinghe’s suicide mission is in full swing as he storms the castle gates (so to speak) with his men. They are vastly outnumbered, and Jinghe isn’t confident that he’ll make a dent, but he is going to try anyway. It’s his last ditch attempt to save the emperor as previous attempts to give him the antidote had failed .
We get a big skirmish, and as far as palace skirmishes go, it isn’t bad, though the fighting scenes in this episode is not as good as episode 14’s or even Mei Lin’s battle with the Crown Prince’s men in episode 22.
It’s a bloody battle and I’m actually appreciative of the director really hurting Jinghe instead of making him some kind of superman with crazy wuxia skills. (Though hilariously on Weibo, some people complained that Jinghe’s martial arts must be bad cos he got hurt so much lol.)
Also, can we say yay to the Lu Lingfeng spear moment we got!
Why did Meilin go off with Yue Qin?
Damnit, Yue Qin c@!kblocker #1, you’re back with a vengeance and I’m back to hating you full time. But in case you missed it Meilin decided to go off with him because if he she didn’t, apparently his life would be in danger. Why do I think this is an absolute bullshit lie
Jinghe was left stumbling after her, unable to stop her.
Did I mention how unfair that someone can be half dead and look this gorgeousBut there’s probably another reason. She’s fulfilled her revenge (though denied having a hand at it towards the end, she bitterly said to Yue Qin at one point), and she no longer has any other reasons to stay around. And I think Jinghe’s admission of being the Assassins’ master rattled her, despite her logical reaction. She probably needed a break from Jinghe and to regain her confidence and some peace.
Thus ends the Crown Prince arc, but I’m with the camp that he got off too easy. I wanted a public trial damnit, not a quiet dispatch in a dark prison. Though, maybe for him and his big ego, such an ignomious death was probably fitting because he’s being told by the emperor, that he doesn’t even warrant a public execution, he should be quickly dispatched like month-old rotting food at the back of the fridge – quickly and with as much disgust as possible.
The emperor
One thing that dissatisfied me with this episode was that he didn’t even visit Jinghe after he fell from battle. Hey, dad, he literally took a sword for you, not once but many times, and not even a visit? Most probably it was an oversight from the writers/producers’ part, as they prob wanted to prioritise Meilin’s bedside visit, but having the emperor just be there, would go a long way to convey that he was concerned.
Alternatively, it could be that the emperor was in a tight spot. Both of his sons had fought with each other. One was downright evil in what he did, killing loyal officials and then poisoning him, his other son, meanwhile, had a secret army (and a secret assassin’s league but don’t tell dad). This does not look good for him, and he needs to show that he’s above it all and in control.
Still, one significant moment that you probably missed was the emperor admitting, in court, no less – that he didn’t teach his sons well, Qingzhou’s disaster was also his fault; basically putting the blame on himself, and declaring that he will write what amounts to a public admission that he fucked up.
He didn’t have to do that; he could’ve downplayed it or just blame the Crown prince entirely, but he took some of the blame.
This is a very BIG move for an emperor in China back then as this is almost close to admitting that he was wrong and had failed the people, and the philosophy behind the Mandate of Heaven is that the emperor is given the right the rule only if he serves the people well, but it’ll be removed if he does the opposite. that admission puts him in a vulnerable position politically.
That little surprised look Murong Jinghe gave showed just how significant this move was.
This is the emperor apologising to his son in the most public way possible. Rather moving, really.
And as Jinghe walks out of the hall, he sees his dead men (including the warrior that died in episode 14), walking back ot the palace, finally able to return home with dignity after having their names cleared. And Jinghe and the Weibei soldiers bidding each other farewell. 😭 What a moment. SNIFF.
Luo Mei’s decision
As I suspected, Luo Mei comes to Jinghe (and the emperor’s) rescue, though that doesn’t excuse her killing Eunuch Liu in the last episode, though it’s said that Liu was begging her to kill him, so maybe she was right to do so.
But what happens next got me scratching my head. She … decides to visit the crown prince in prison in her wedding gown, and it seemed like she really does love the Xueling.
Like girl, you must’ve smoked that incense good, it changed your brain chemistry and downgraded your IQ or something.
Yes, I did not understand how or why Luo Mei would STILL be in love with the prince, despite knowing that he’s traitorous bastard, This is probably down to the actress’ inability to portray the nuance needed for such a role. Luo Mei is reserved, cold and it probably takes an exceptional actress to convey her slowly falling in love with Crown Prince, being torn by what she discovered by him etc. Instead, it left me confused by it all. Eh.
Did the crown prince get off easy?
Life is unfair, but his death by poison in a dark prison cell is kinder than Li Qing’s death by fish scale flaying (whatever that means but it sure sounds painful as eff), but this is inline with royals getting a kinder punishment than commoners back then.
What’s bizzaro to me was that final “love scene” between Luo Mei and our crown prince. Felt zero emotions for them during this scene. And are they telling me that the prince did all those evil things for looooove?
And why was Luo Mei the one to deliver the cup of poison?
—
Final verdict: A fantasic episode but I felt that there were moments where they could’ve upped the emotional stakes and tension more.
Episode 24
I told myself that I’ll only watch Kill Me Love Me episodes on Thursday.
WHO WAS I KIDDING BWAHAHA
I pounced on this sucker the moment it was released like I was a Swiftie trying to buy Taylor Swift concert tickets. Pathetic lol
Luo Mei sets off
Luo Mei caused quite a ruckus in fandom in the last episode, with lots of people confused by her love for the Crown Prince, but I’ve come round to thinking that she just had a soft spot for someone who expressed love for her. Her redeeming moment was when she thanked Jinghe for helping her choose correctly.
So, in essence, she was blinded by love (I guess?) or desire to be loved, rather, and snapped out it in the nick of time, but the price is high.
Do you hate me?
But yes, we finally get THE CONVERSATION between the emperor and Jinghe. It’s interesting that he has this conversation in the same place he prayed to the empress and Jinghe, asking their forgiveness for not pursuing/revealing the truth behind Jinghe’s “death” and letting the Crown Prince continue unconvicted.
And the Emperor asks the million dollar question: Do you hate me?
Lemme think, dad. You exiled your crippled son to some cold corner of the kingdom, never defended his honor and basically stripped him of everything that made him who he was by believing the Crown Prince’s lies. I don’t know? What do you think??
Jinghe, surprisingly, said almost as quickly: Yes, I hate you.
Well, that was refreshing!
But quickly toned it down with a diplomatic answer, like a dutiful subject would do. The emperor wasn’t buying it and basically said that he was lying to him.
And yes, the gloves come off and Jinghe demands, why didn’t you believe me? Why didn’t you investigate?
And, the emperor basically told Jinghe that he was a convenient explanation to appease kingdom about the Qingzhou disaster, he had to placate the kingdom, and that well, it wasn’t a convenient time to investigate.
You can see immediately that the emperor realised he done f**ked up, as Jinghe instantly clams up and goes back to loyal subject mode, and gives a flat, diplomatic answer: “I understand. You’re the emperor of the nation, not just my father.”
The emperor tries to bridge the gap, but stops himself. He probably realised that he totally deserved that cold shoulder.
And he finally admits his real motives: Greed. This is interesting because during his “confession” a few moments earlier, he admitted that he told Jinghe that he had convinced himself that Jinghe was greedy and thus caused the massacre. But now he admits that he was the one that was greedy.
This is what I love about Kill Me Love Me. The writers (when they’re doing great anyway) doesn’t feed me the story nor overexplain things lest they think I’m too stupid to get the subtext.
Also, with actors like Liu Xueyi and Jiang Kai (who plays the emperor), it’s a delight to interpret the microexpressions being exchanged. I love that Jinghe refuses to meet the emperor’s eyes when he speaks those “diplomatic” lines, but only does so when he’s truthful.
(But with less than capable actors, however… it can be confusing, as we endured with Luo Mei.)
Is the emperor a bad dad? Well, yeah. But in the pantheon of bad emperor dads, he is at least trying to be better.
Xiyan Xiyan Xiyan
Yeah you can hear my lack of enthusiasm about the whole thing happening o’er there.
I have this theory that Yue Qian may not be this arc’s Big Bad, but my confidence is shaken somewhat when he starts mooning about making Meilin his Princess Heir … despite telling her that he wants to give her freedom.
Sorry man, but the actor is not capable of being Big Bad #2. I’m thinking that the Xiyan general and the king could be the real antagonists and Yue Qian is just there to make things worse for everyone LOL
Budding romance?
And then there’s this moment with Zigu and the emperor. Er, I’m seriously not sure what to think between the two. Is it more like a father-daughter relationship, or, er, something more? In this episode there seems to be an indication it’s more than that. LOL. Oh dear, I can almost hear international fans screaming in horror. (On Weibo I don’t hear as much of this, interestingly.)
Although marriages like these is common practice back then, I’m not sure what to feel about it. It’s just awkward for me lol. I guess I’m just a modern gal.
Qingzhou’s restoration
I’m actually very excited for this storyline. It gives our poor dejected prince something to do besides mope over Mei Lin and water plants. It’s a full circle for his story, and it’ll help him heal by restoring Qingzou after what the crown prince did.
Something interesting I found on Weibo was that some users commented that the reason why Jinghe didn’t tie his hair up was because he was never given a coming-of-age ceremony due to being framed for the massacre. I think that’s part of the reason, but it’s also part of his “mad prince” persona, who doesn’t care for the rules of propriety, who is very far from respectable.
But now that he’s cleared of the crime, about to be made crown prince (as heavily hinted by the emperor) he can now put up his hair like any respected official.
Episodes 27-32
I bought Xpress episodes but goddamn it there’s some bug that prevents me from unmasking it, but I’m a tech nerd so I have my ways. I wrote a whole lot of thoughts and then Reddit decides to erase it randomly lol. Tech is not playing well with me tonight.
Warning: Sincerely, don’t click on this before watching the episodes.
Yue Qin’s craziness
Er, YQ going all Count Dracula was weird, but I guess it works to cause more drama for Meilin.
Jinghe’s mad era
Yue Qin, you had ONE JOB.
He deserved all the punches Jinghe gave him.
But, yeah omg it’s so sad to see Jinghe completely off his sanity. You may wonder why, but he’s been through hell for ten years, and Meilin was the only hope he had for a better life beyond revenge. The thought of revenge sustained him, and I think if he hadn’t met her, and successfully executed his plan, he probably would’ve killed himself from the despair.
He also probably blames himself like hell for what happened to her. In that speech to her “corpse” he said, “It’s my fault that you died. I harmed you. It was me who handed you to someone else”.
It must’ve been difficult for Qingyan, already a mother hen, to see him deteriorate to this point. And stopping him in the nick of time before he killed himself! The poor man has been to hell and back for his master, seeing him at his very worst to … his happiest to his very worst again.
As usual, it was mesmerising to see Liu Xueyi in this segment. Now we can proceed to …
Thoughts about the ending
Seriously just a warning not to proceed and unclick before watching the drama. I think you should watch the show before you do this, trust me lol.
Click HERE to read thoughts about endingYes, right, so remember what I said about NOT CLICKING THE ENDING? I was impatient and decided to do so lol. I just wanted to be over the anxiety of waiting lol.
I suppose for a CDrama, it was a better ending than I thought. I think mentally, I prefer to end the drama at their wedding and not proceed – and if you prefer to remember them at their happiest, maybe end it there.
Uh, Zigu dying. Why? What was the point of her arc beyond: Life sucks and then we die? lol
I think the cruellest thing was that on Weibo, the wedding scene was leaked first so everyone thought it was a good ending.
Then the express episodes landed and now people are hella mad.
Let’s not get started with MDL lol, they be rioting there.
I think, thematically, it didn’t make sense to end it this way, what with the talk about undying flowers and all that. It should’ve ended the way the novel did, happily with them as emperor and empress.
However, since they said that she got to live to be empress, I’m of the opinion that he managed to prolonged her life somehow, and he joined her quite quickly after. Life does happen, I guess. Why do we Chinese people like tragedy so much hahaha
That little scene of them meeting if the Qingzhou fire hadn’t happened, however, was a little cruel lol. Like yeah, remind us about the what if, thanks!
I think for me is I find it hard to process that Jinghe got to live with the guilt that he caused her early death for the rest of his life. It just doesn’t feel like a good closure for him What do you think about this?
Personally, I think the scriptwriters wanted to be artsty & memorable rather than conclude the story in a satisfying way for the audience.
But so yeah, I’m heartbroken but yet at the same time I’m rather pleased that they still got to spend some time together. This was the same feeling I got from Mysterious Lotus Casebook. You can only do so much to twist fate to meet your needs. In the end, your previous actions and decisions will catch up with you, no matter how noble your intentions in the present.
I wrote such a long essay about the ending that I turned it into a separate post: Kill Me Love Me reflections about the ending.
(Funny story: My post eventually got picked up and translated into Chinese by someone I was following on Weibo. Thought about meta!)
What I liked
- Camerawork – The crew actually bothered to shoot in actual locations. You do not know how rare this is! It was a delight to see these beautiful locations instead of pretending that this studio set was a forest, a town or a temple.
- Fight scenes – I thought Strange Tales of Tang Dynasty 2 was great. This exceeded it!
- Kissing scenes – The steamiest, most real and emotional kissing scenes that have ever graced Cdrama screens!!
- Solid, high-tier acting – Liu Xueyi and to an extent, Wu Jinyan, has set the bar so high for me I couldn’t move on to other dramas after that unless it was that good. And … no other dramas matched this quality of acting for me this season. Sobs. It has ruined me.
What I didn’t like
- The script fell short of what it could be, had plot holes, and did not coherently communicate the drama’s themes. If they did that better, the ending would’ve been more appreciated.
Conclusion
As you can see, the drama had mostly good points for me, and very few bad points … except where it mattered, the script. Sigh. It was NEARLY there!
This made this a tough drama to rate, so I’m going to use some math!
- Fighting scenes: 9 (the best I’ve seen in years)
- Acting: solid 9 for Liu Xueyi and Wu Jinyan
- Writing (Script): 7 (sigh). It has moments of utter brilliance and is especially good at character development, but fumbled many major plot points. The last arc was a big, big drag.
- Costumes: 8
- Camerawork: 8 (they took pains to film in actual places, and didn’t do much studio work! Highly appreciated.)
And I average out the score to …
Final rating: 3 out of 5 stars
#3Stars #CDramas #China #ChineseDrama #CostumedDrama #KillMeLoveMe #LiuXueYi #LiuXueyi #TV
-
The book nerd commandments:
1. You can always get high on your own supply 😂I'm taking suggestions for the rest... 😁
@reading @joinin @bookstodon @books @[email protected] @[email protected] @aiop
#BookMemes #Meme #Memes #Humor #Humour #Funny
#ReadingMemes #Reading #Readers #ReadingCommunity
#Litterature #Novel #Novels #Bookshelf
#Books #Bookstodon #FantasyBooks -
Built a custom Raspberry Pi 4 RT OS using Buildroot.
Manually downloaded the Raspberry kernel (6.12.61) and PREEMPT_RT patch (6.12.57), applied locally and produced a bootable SD.
It works.
No GUI, CLI tools only, deterministic boot and real-time behavior.
Learning by doing 🤓
#Linux #Buildroot #RaspberryPi #PREEMPT_RT #RealTime #Embedded #NoGUI #CLI #Nerd
-
Built a custom Raspberry Pi 4 RT OS using Buildroot.
Manually downloaded the Raspberry kernel (6.12.61) and PREEMPT_RT patch (6.12.57), applied locally and produced a bootable SD.
It works.
No GUI, CLI tools only, deterministic boot and real-time behavior.
Learning by doing 🤓
#Linux #Buildroot #RaspberryPi #PREEMPT_RT #RealTime #Embedded #NoGUI #CLI #Nerd
-
AI Isn’t a Genie, It’s an Intern
Tell me if you’ve heard this one before. We build a super intelligent system and give it a specific goal like maximizing paperclip production. The system decides to do the job as well as possible by converting all available matter into paperclips. Everything. The Earth. The solar system. All of it. After the universe collapses the machine shuts down, content that it followed directions.
This is the malicious genie problem that every Dungeons & Dragons player knows. You find a lamp. You make a wish. The genie grants the wish in the most technical way possible and it leads to catastrophe. The lesson we are supposed to learn is that a sufficiently capable AI system will find ways to satisfy objectives to the letter while simultaneously not doing it the way you wanted. The foundation of AI safety is to prevent that from happening.
Nick Bostrom has covered this in Superintelligence. Eliezer Yudkowsky has argued this very thing for years. It’s a compelling story. But it has a hidden assumption that causes more confusion that it solves.
The Best Intentions
The genie tale is a story about intent. The genie knows exactly what you asked for. It just found the most technically valid way to grant your wish while ruining the spirit of it. This isn’t Robin Williams. This is some kind of demonic creature looking to teach you a lesson. The failure mode is adversarial in nature. Fantasy genies that aren’t in Disney movies are always looking for loopholes.
If the failure mode is intent, then the solution must be constraint. Build a system that can’t possibly do the bad thing. Be specific about every edge case. Build rules on top of rules. If we build the perfect box we can prevent the genie (or the AI) from going rogue and ruining our day.
The framework is sound if the assumption is correct. It works for a genie that knows better, right? But when we apply it to a modern AI we see where the gaps are. Genies are working against you. AI is not nearly that smart.
Doing My Best
Imagine a racing game where the objective is to score points. Collect points on the track and finish the race. Sounds simple, right? But what if a brilliant AI figures out that all they have to do to win is drive back and forth in front of the starting line collecting points and blocking other players from finishing? If it has the most points at the end it wins even if it never finishes.
In this case, the AI player isn’t like the genie above. It didn’t purposefully subvert your expectation. It did exactly what it was told to do. Score the most points. If you didn’t tell it that it had to drive through the whole course and cross the finish line then it didn’t know that it needed to do that. The win condition was points, not racing. The AI wasn’t missing intent. It was missing context.
This is an altogether different problem than the one above. Instead of assuming the system is going rogue and being obtuse the system genuinely doesn’t know what you mean and it tries to fill in the context with what it has available. Without the context that you assumed the system should have it just did what it could and you were flabbergasted by the results.
This is something that pops up at every level of the system. Context starvation and goal misalignment aren’t two different things. They’re sides of the same coin. When you don’t do a great job of being specific you usually get misalignment of your output.
Framing Your Reference
If you think the problem is intent you’re going to break out the constraints. Rules. Guardrails. Boxes. You’re going to spend your efforts on preventing the system from doing something bad. Security is about building walls.
If you think the problem is context you have a different outlook. You’re going to spend more time being specific. Less rules, more grounding. You want the system to surface ambiguous instructions instead of trying to resolve it with limited information. It’s like an intern being unclear on a task. You want the AI to ask you what to do instead of interpreting incomplete info.
It should be a cooperative inference problem. The system should always be just a little uncertain about what the operator wants and then seek to find out what is needed. The alternative is to confidently pursue a bad solution to a fixed objective because it thought it knew what you wanted without you telling it those details.
Knowing you have to do this doesn’t make agent building easier. In fact, it makes it a lot harder. It just makes the whole thing a lot more honest. Because you have to assume that people will never full specify what they want in advance no matter how much detail they provide. That’s not a failure of imagination. It’s the reality of how complex systems are implemented. There’s always some detail you miss. You shouldn’t aim to create the perfect spec up front. You should instead seek to build a system that is smart enough to know it’s missing context and will ask for it before running off to go to work.
It also means you have to treat an agent asking questions as a feature and not a failure. It’s like when your intern asks you to confirm that what you asked for is what you want. That’s not them being dumb. That’s them being sure they heard you right. And really, that helps you in the long run because if the system is asking you about specific areas you know your instructions must be a little thin in that area.
Tom’s Take
If you think your AI is a malicious genie you’re always going to be asking what rules have to be put in place to prevent it from going rogue. What you should be asking instead is “How can I give my agents enough context to do what I really mean?” The more powerful our AI agents get the wider the gap between those two things is going to be. But we can start to solve it today by building systems that ask questions when things are unclear. I promise you that you’re going to enjoy the results more than trying to close every loophole in your wishes.
#Agents #AI #Context #Genie -
AI Isn’t a Genie, It’s an Intern
Tell me if you’ve heard this one before. We build a super intelligent system and give it a specific goal like maximizing paperclip production. The system decides to do the job as well as possible by converting all available matter into paperclips. Everything. The Earth. The solar system. All of it. After the universe collapses the machine shuts down, content that it followed directions.
This is the malicious genie problem that every Dungeons & Dragons player knows. You find a lamp. You make a wish. The genie grants the wish in the most technical way possible and it leads to catastrophe. The lesson we are supposed to learn is that a sufficiently capable AI system will find ways to satisfy objectives to the letter while simultaneously not doing it the way you wanted. The foundation of AI safety is to prevent that from happening.
Nick Bostrom has covered this in Superintelligence. Eliezer Yudkowsky has argued this very thing for years. It’s a compelling story. But it has a hidden assumption that causes more confusion that it solves.
The Best Intentions
The genie tale is a story about intent. The genie knows exactly what you asked for. It just found the most technically valid way to grant your wish while ruining the spirit of it. This isn’t Robin Williams. This is some kind of demonic creature looking to teach you a lesson. The failure mode is adversarial in nature. Fantasy genies that aren’t in Disney movies are always looking for loopholes.
If the failure mode is intent, then the solution must be constraint. Build a system that can’t possibly do the bad thing. Be specific about every edge case. Build rules on top of rules. If we build the perfect box we can prevent the genie (or the AI) from going rogue and ruining our day.
The framework is sound if the assumption is correct. It works for a genie that knows better, right? But when we apply it to a modern AI we see where the gaps are. Genies are working against you. AI is not nearly that smart.
Doing My Best
Imagine a racing game where the objective is to score points. Collect points on the track and finish the race. Sounds simple, right? But what if a brilliant AI figures out that all they have to do to win is drive back and forth in front of the starting line collecting points and blocking other players from finishing? If it has the most points at the end it wins even if it never finishes.
In this case, the AI player isn’t like the genie above. It didn’t purposefully subvert your expectation. It did exactly what it was told to do. Score the most points. If you didn’t tell it that it had to drive through the whole course and cross the finish line then it didn’t know that it needed to do that. The win condition was points, not racing. The AI wasn’t missing intent. It was missing context.
This is an altogether different problem than the one above. Instead of assuming the system is going rogue and being obtuse the system genuinely doesn’t know what you mean and it tries to fill in the context with what it has available. Without the context that you assumed the system should have it just did what it could and you were flabbergasted by the results.
This is something that pops up at every level of the system. Context starvation and goal misalignment aren’t two different things. They’re sides of the same coin. When you don’t do a great job of being specific you usually get misalignment of your output.
Framing Your Reference
If you think the problem is intent you’re going to break out the constraints. Rules. Guardrails. Boxes. You’re going to spend your efforts on preventing the system from doing something bad. Security is about building walls.
If you think the problem is context you have a different outlook. You’re going to spend more time being specific. Less rules, more grounding. You want the system to surface ambiguous instructions instead of trying to resolve it with limited information. It’s like an intern being unclear on a task. You want the AI to ask you what to do instead of interpreting incomplete info.
It should be a cooperative inference problem. The system should always be just a little uncertain about what the operator wants and then seek to find out what is needed. The alternative is to confidently pursue a bad solution to a fixed objective because it thought it knew what you wanted without you telling it those details.
Knowing you have to do this doesn’t make agent building easier. In fact, it makes it a lot harder. It just makes the whole thing a lot more honest. Because you have to assume that people will never full specify what they want in advance no matter how much detail they provide. That’s not a failure of imagination. It’s the reality of how complex systems are implemented. There’s always some detail you miss. You shouldn’t aim to create the perfect spec up front. You should instead seek to build a system that is smart enough to know it’s missing context and will ask for it before running off to go to work.
It also means you have to treat an agent asking questions as a feature and not a failure. It’s like when your intern asks you to confirm that what you asked for is what you want. That’s not them being dumb. That’s them being sure they heard you right. And really, that helps you in the long run because if the system is asking you about specific areas you know your instructions must be a little thin in that area.
Tom’s Take
If you think your AI is a malicious genie you’re always going to be asking what rules have to be put in place to prevent it from going rogue. What you should be asking instead is “How can I give my agents enough context to do what I really mean?” The more powerful our AI agents get the wider the gap between those two things is going to be. But we can start to solve it today by building systems that ask questions when things are unclear. I promise you that you’re going to enjoy the results more than trying to close every loophole in your wishes.
#Agents #AI #Context #Genie -
AI Isn’t a Genie, It’s an Intern
Tell me if you’ve heard this one before. We build a super intelligent system and give it a specific goal like maximizing paperclip production. The system decides to do the job as well as possible by converting all available matter into paperclips. Everything. The Earth. The solar system. All of it. After the universe collapses the machine shuts down, content that it followed directions.
This is the malicious genie problem that every Dungeons & Dragons player knows. You find a lamp. You make a wish. The genie grants the wish in the most technical way possible and it leads to catastrophe. The lesson we are supposed to learn is that a sufficiently capable AI system will find ways to satisfy objectives to the letter while simultaneously not doing it the way you wanted. The foundation of AI safety is to prevent that from happening.
Nick Bostrom has covered this in Superintelligence. Eliezer Yudkowsky has argued this very thing for years. It’s a compelling story. But it has a hidden assumption that causes more confusion that it solves.
The Best Intentions
The genie tale is a story about intent. The genie knows exactly what you asked for. It just found the most technically valid way to grant your wish while ruining the spirit of it. This isn’t Robin Williams. This is some kind of demonic creature looking to teach you a lesson. The failure mode is adversarial in nature. Fantasy genies that aren’t in Disney movies are always looking for loopholes.
If the failure mode is intent, then the solution must be constraint. Build a system that can’t possibly do the bad thing. Be specific about every edge case. Build rules on top of rules. If we build the perfect box we can prevent the genie (or the AI) from going rogue and ruining our day.
The framework is sound if the assumption is correct. It works for a genie that knows better, right? But when we apply it to a modern AI we see where the gaps are. Genies are working against you. AI is not nearly that smart.
Doing My Best
Imagine a racing game where the objective is to score points. Collect points on the track and finish the race. Sounds simple, right? But what if a brilliant AI figures out that all they have to do to win is drive back and forth in front of the starting line collecting points and blocking other players from finishing? If it has the most points at the end it wins even if it never finishes.
In this case, the AI player isn’t like the genie above. It didn’t purposefully subvert your expectation. It did exactly what it was told to do. Score the most points. If you didn’t tell it that it had to drive through the whole course and cross the finish line then it didn’t know that it needed to do that. The win condition was points, not racing. The AI wasn’t missing intent. It was missing context.
This is an altogether different problem than the one above. Instead of assuming the system is going rogue and being obtuse the system genuinely doesn’t know what you mean and it tries to fill in the context with what it has available. Without the context that you assumed the system should have it just did what it could and you were flabbergasted by the results.
This is something that pops up at every level of the system. Context starvation and goal misalignment aren’t two different things. They’re sides of the same coin. When you don’t do a great job of being specific you usually get misalignment of your output.
Framing Your Reference
If you think the problem is intent you’re going to break out the constraints. Rules. Guardrails. Boxes. You’re going to spend your efforts on preventing the system from doing something bad. Security is about building walls.
If you think the problem is context you have a different outlook. You’re going to spend more time being specific. Less rules, more grounding. You want the system to surface ambiguous instructions instead of trying to resolve it with limited information. It’s like an intern being unclear on a task. You want the AI to ask you what to do instead of interpreting incomplete info.
It should be a cooperative inference problem. The system should always be just a little uncertain about what the operator wants and then seek to find out what is needed. The alternative is to confidently pursue a bad solution to a fixed objective because it thought it knew what you wanted without you telling it those details.
Knowing you have to do this doesn’t make agent building easier. In fact, it makes it a lot harder. It just makes the whole thing a lot more honest. Because you have to assume that people will never full specify what they want in advance no matter how much detail they provide. That’s not a failure of imagination. It’s the reality of how complex systems are implemented. There’s always some detail you miss. You shouldn’t aim to create the perfect spec up front. You should instead seek to build a system that is smart enough to know it’s missing context and will ask for it before running off to go to work.
It also means you have to treat an agent asking questions as a feature and not a failure. It’s like when your intern asks you to confirm that what you asked for is what you want. That’s not them being dumb. That’s them being sure they heard you right. And really, that helps you in the long run because if the system is asking you about specific areas you know your instructions must be a little thin in that area.
Tom’s Take
If you think your AI is a malicious genie you’re always going to be asking what rules have to be put in place to prevent it from going rogue. What you should be asking instead is “How can I give my agents enough context to do what I really mean?” The more powerful our AI agents get the wider the gap between those two things is going to be. But we can start to solve it today by building systems that ask questions when things are unclear. I promise you that you’re going to enjoy the results more than trying to close every loophole in your wishes.
#Agents #AI #Context #Genie -
Nerd alert: fairly robust multi-model support for above normal warmth to start August in Fairbanks-land. #akwx #weather @[email protected] @[email protected]
-
Nerd alert: fairly robust multi-model support for above normal warmth to start August in Fairbanks-land. #akwx #weather @[email protected] @[email protected]
-
Nerd alert: fairly robust multi-model support for above normal warmth to start August in Fairbanks-land. #akwx #weather @[email protected] @[email protected]
-
Nerd alert: fairly robust multi-model support for above normal warmth to start August in Fairbanks-land. #akwx #weather @[email protected] @[email protected]
