#cults — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #cults, aggregated by home.social.
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Why Bek Condello left a doomsday church at 27
By Jackson Worthington and David MarcheseAuthor Bek Condello says she has not spoken to her friends or family inside the church since she decided to leave.
#Cults #Christianity #BookPublishingIndustry #JacksonWorthington #DavidMarchese
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Why Bek Condello left a doomsday church at 27
By Jackson Worthington and David MarcheseAuthor Bek Condello says she has not spoken to her friends or family inside the church since she decided to leave.
#Cults #Christianity #BookPublishingIndustry #JacksonWorthington #DavidMarchese
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Favorite signs at this week's protest outside #KenHam's Noah's Ark Encounter, which, on its 10th anniversary, is exposed as an endless siphon of money from Kentucky taxpayers.
"Tax dollars should not fund religious fantasy parks"
"Ark Encounter: Built on myth, Funded by grift"
[I also like "Based on myth, Built on grift"]
"Ken Ham's 'Jurassic Lark'"
and my #1 pick -
"Gilgamesh called: He wants his flood story back"
#ChristoFascism #fascist #USA #ArkEncounter = #grooming #children for #cults -
Dear Friends of #OFF
As we know
there are many cu@ts
The curts R precise #cults
e.g. Cult of the #Dead #Cow
Or the RNG based on
three rIngs to unruly them
ALL
https://www.random.org/To put IT in a #question
#WHO is paying The #Way?
How many B4 #dead?
Find or fund the #unquestioned?:nonazis: :0dd_verified: ✅
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Dear Friends of #OFF
As we know
there are many cu@ts
The curts R precise #cults
e.g. Cult of the #Dead #Cow
Or the RNG based on
three rIngs to unruly them
ALL
https://www.random.org/To put IT in a #question
#WHO is paying The #Way?
How many B4 #dead?
Find or fund the #unquestioned?:nonazis: :0dd_verified: ✅
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#Tennessee #cults #churches #bookstores #drag #LGBTQI+
"THE DEMON NEXT DOOR
A growing number of charismatic Christians see themselves as waging a spiritual battle against the forces of Satan. Sometimes those forces are right across the street.
There were older and grander churches in Maryville, a college town in East Tennessee where you could barely drive a minute without passing a cross or a sign about Jesus. But when Mike and Andrea Brewer established the Well, in 2016, they understood themselves to be part of something more mystical and revolutionary than any existing denomination—a charismatic-Christian movement that has drawn millions of Americans with the promise of supernatural encounters with God and visions of cosmic battle.
By his own account, Mike had been an exhausted factory worker and a lapsed Pentecostal addicted to pornography when one night, at home and praying for a better life, he heard an unfamiliar voice calling out to him and believed that it was God. At church a few days later, he would write, he felt a 'tangible explosion' in his chest, followed by 'the purity and righteousness of God moving through me in waves.' He came to believe that a demon had exited his body and that the Holy Spirit had taken its place. He decided that God had chosen him for a divine assignment.
They went abroad as missionaries to India and Haiti, which only confirmed their emerging understanding of a universe with three distinct realms—the heavenly, the earthly, and the underworld, with the Earth being the realm of spiritual warfare. On one side, the Holy Spirit, angels, and believers comprised an army of God. On the other were the forces of Satan—legions of demons with names, ranks, and personalities that could inhabit people, geographical regions, and entire nations.
(. . .)
By the time the Brewers returned to Maryville, they saw themselves as hardened spiritual warriors. They founded the Well to continue the battle, joining an international network of churches and ministries called Global Awakening, which also had a seminary, where Andrea began studying demon history and hierarchies. When Mike asked God for their exact assignment, he told me when I visited in March, 'the Lord spoke so clearly. He said, ‘I’m giving you and the Well a mandate for the full eradication of witchcraft and demonic activity in the region.’'
And that was what led the Brewers to look across the street one day a few years later and determine that the central hub for demonic activity in the region was roughly 100 yards away. It was a bookstore called Southland.
(. . .)
Over the course of three decades in Maryville, Misosky had made Southland Books and Cafe into a local institution, a sprawling maze of old bookcases where people could find a leather-bound Mark Twain, a paperback Charles Bukowski, shelves of military history, and flyers for a local mah-jongg group.
Misosky had a bar downstairs where she hosted trivia nights, readings, all-ages punk shows, and fundraisers that sometimes involved drag performances. She occasionally provided space to the local Democratic Party. But none of that had drawn public protest until a new church moved in across the street.
(. . .)
Misosky had been born and raised in Maryville. She was 58, Catholic, and gay, and told me she was used to living among conservative Christians. Still, demonic came as a surprise. 'This is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,' she remembered thinking after seeing the first video, not yet realizing that the church was part of the fastest-growing segment of Christianity in the country, or that the language she was hearing in the fall of 2022 was spreading across the Christian right and the wider political landscape.
(. . .)
Another version was the run-up to the January 6, 2021, insurrection, when prominent apostles and prophets held prayer rallies calling for 'the minutemen of the Kingdom' to rise up against demonic forces that they believed had stolen the 2020 election, after which many of their followers were among those who stormed the U.S. Capitol. Another version was what happened after the Brewers returned to Maryville."
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#Tennessee #cults #churches #bookstores #drag #LGBTQI+
"THE DEMON NEXT DOOR
A growing number of charismatic Christians see themselves as waging a spiritual battle against the forces of Satan. Sometimes those forces are right across the street.
There were older and grander churches in Maryville, a college town in East Tennessee where you could barely drive a minute without passing a cross or a sign about Jesus. But when Mike and Andrea Brewer established the Well, in 2016, they understood themselves to be part of something more mystical and revolutionary than any existing denomination—a charismatic-Christian movement that has drawn millions of Americans with the promise of supernatural encounters with God and visions of cosmic battle.
By his own account, Mike had been an exhausted factory worker and a lapsed Pentecostal addicted to pornography when one night, at home and praying for a better life, he heard an unfamiliar voice calling out to him and believed that it was God. At church a few days later, he would write, he felt a 'tangible explosion' in his chest, followed by 'the purity and righteousness of God moving through me in waves.' He came to believe that a demon had exited his body and that the Holy Spirit had taken its place. He decided that God had chosen him for a divine assignment.
They went abroad as missionaries to India and Haiti, which only confirmed their emerging understanding of a universe with three distinct realms—the heavenly, the earthly, and the underworld, with the Earth being the realm of spiritual warfare. On one side, the Holy Spirit, angels, and believers comprised an army of God. On the other were the forces of Satan—legions of demons with names, ranks, and personalities that could inhabit people, geographical regions, and entire nations.
(. . .)
By the time the Brewers returned to Maryville, they saw themselves as hardened spiritual warriors. They founded the Well to continue the battle, joining an international network of churches and ministries called Global Awakening, which also had a seminary, where Andrea began studying demon history and hierarchies. When Mike asked God for their exact assignment, he told me when I visited in March, 'the Lord spoke so clearly. He said, ‘I’m giving you and the Well a mandate for the full eradication of witchcraft and demonic activity in the region.’'
And that was what led the Brewers to look across the street one day a few years later and determine that the central hub for demonic activity in the region was roughly 100 yards away. It was a bookstore called Southland.
(. . .)
Over the course of three decades in Maryville, Misosky had made Southland Books and Cafe into a local institution, a sprawling maze of old bookcases where people could find a leather-bound Mark Twain, a paperback Charles Bukowski, shelves of military history, and flyers for a local mah-jongg group.
Misosky had a bar downstairs where she hosted trivia nights, readings, all-ages punk shows, and fundraisers that sometimes involved drag performances. She occasionally provided space to the local Democratic Party. But none of that had drawn public protest until a new church moved in across the street.
(. . .)
Misosky had been born and raised in Maryville. She was 58, Catholic, and gay, and told me she was used to living among conservative Christians. Still, demonic came as a surprise. 'This is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,' she remembered thinking after seeing the first video, not yet realizing that the church was part of the fastest-growing segment of Christianity in the country, or that the language she was hearing in the fall of 2022 was spreading across the Christian right and the wider political landscape.
(. . .)
Another version was the run-up to the January 6, 2021, insurrection, when prominent apostles and prophets held prayer rallies calling for 'the minutemen of the Kingdom' to rise up against demonic forces that they believed had stolen the 2020 election, after which many of their followers were among those who stormed the U.S. Capitol. Another version was what happened after the Brewers returned to Maryville."
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So don't just jump to the obvious, pre-packaged option. It's certainly *easier*. There's less dissonance there, too.
But curiosity also resolves dissonance. It's a consonant feeling, maybe the only time a lack of or contradiction of information causes a good feeling. Step into that, and out of the box.
It's a cycle. Question everything. Come up with answers. But don't settle there. Keep poking. Dig deeper. Keep open-ended the answers you do find.
Otherwise you're still just being run by your conditioning.
/🧵
#AbuseCulture #ReligiousTrauma #cults #atheism #exmo #exmormon #deconstruction
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So don't just jump to the obvious, pre-packaged option. It's certainly *easier*. There's less dissonance there, too.
But curiosity also resolves dissonance. It's a consonant feeling, maybe the only time a lack of or contradiction of information causes a good feeling. Step into that, and out of the box.
It's a cycle. Question everything. Come up with answers. But don't settle there. Keep poking. Dig deeper. Keep open-ended the answers you do find.
Otherwise you're still just being run by your conditioning.
/🧵
#AbuseCulture #ReligiousTrauma #cults #atheism #exmo #exmormon #deconstruction
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One example of a false dichotomy capitalism offers is how it links itself to commerce.
Commerce, or trade, has ALWAYS existed, even before humanity did.
So pro-capitalists have a hard time letting go because they think they'll have to throw out the ability to buy and sell things, to run small businesses and such.
Anti-capitalists who haven't unpacked this lie get mad at small shops posting Etsy links or selling books they wrote. They get upset at anyone who makes a living in a world where you have to make a living or die. The worlds they imagine try to design unwieldy bartering systems that never address the underlying problems of power and the fact that anyone who abuses power will ALWAYS find a way into positions to amass it, no matter what system you design.
By working within the false framework, their alternatives are not very appealing and don't solve the real underlying issues, which isn't money or commerce itself, but a certain mentality who will always leverage what they have available to coerce and rule.
🧵
#AbuseCulture #ReligiousTrauma #cults #atheism #exmo #exmormon #deconstruction
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One example of a false dichotomy capitalism offers is how it links itself to commerce.
Commerce, or trade, has ALWAYS existed, even before humanity did.
So pro-capitalists have a hard time letting go because they think they'll have to throw out the ability to buy and sell things, to run small businesses and such.
Anti-capitalists who haven't unpacked this lie get mad at small shops posting Etsy links or selling books they wrote. They get upset at anyone who makes a living in a world where you have to make a living or die. The worlds they imagine try to design unwieldy bartering systems that never address the underlying problems of power and the fact that anyone who abuses power will ALWAYS find a way into positions to amass it, no matter what system you design.
By working within the false framework, their alternatives are not very appealing and don't solve the real underlying issues, which isn't money or commerce itself, but a certain mentality who will always leverage what they have available to coerce and rule.
🧵
#AbuseCulture #ReligiousTrauma #cults #atheism #exmo #exmormon #deconstruction
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This is the process I used to get where I have on capitalism and whiteness. Always stepping back and 🤔
As we deconstruct capitalism and western colonialism, don't spend too much time in the "just do the opposite" phase. That's a resting place.
There ARE better ways to run a society!
And I fully believe we don't know what those are yet.* But we can't figure that out while working strictly within the limiting framework given to us BY capitalism and whiteness!!!
🧵
* Quick note without spiraling intoa whole different rant: I believe people who lived before us (or trying to survive alongside us) know at least some of the puzzle that humanity should learn from. But we're not going to be able to go back to exactly how it was unless billions of people die, and then the whole ring is valuable to the next colonizing culture rises up. Whatever better system comes, it'll have to be, to some extent, something new.
#AbuseCulture #ReligiousTrauma #cults #atheism #exmo #exmormon #deconstruction
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This is the process I used to get where I have on capitalism and whiteness. Always stepping back and 🤔
As we deconstruct capitalism and western colonialism, don't spend too much time in the "just do the opposite" phase. That's a resting place.
There ARE better ways to run a society!
And I fully believe we don't know what those are yet.* But we can't figure that out while working strictly within the limiting framework given to us BY capitalism and whiteness!!!
🧵
* Quick note without spiraling intoa whole different rant: I believe people who lived before us (or trying to survive alongside us) know at least some of the puzzle that humanity should learn from. But we're not going to be able to go back to exactly how it was unless billions of people die, and then the whole ring is valuable to the next colonizing culture rises up. Whatever better system comes, it'll have to be, to some extent, something new.
#AbuseCulture #ReligiousTrauma #cults #atheism #exmo #exmormon #deconstruction
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In fact, curiosity is a great example of what I'm talking about.
My cult framed doubt as the opposite of unquestioning faith. This is an example of the control technique called Black & White Thinking, or polarized thinking. We're trained to think in binaries. This quality is all good, while that quality is all bad.
So once I discover my group is bad, and faith is bad, I might start to think doubt is all good. I might lean into doubt as my new replacement value. We start to see some of the outlines of the skeptic community, and the toxic behaviors of a certain subset of atheist thought.
At first, doubt is my only choice. Because I'm still operating under cult conditioning!!! where it's either full-on faith or doubt as a service.
Doubt makes for a terrible value. It isn't a goal! Skepticism by itself doesn't LEAD anywhere. It can't be a destination! Eventually, all that can be debunked, is. Then what?
I can surely bring a balance of skepticism into my life to help me check the answers I come across. It's a nice tool for moving towards *something*.
But step outside the false dichotomy.
Curiosity IS a value. Never one promoted by my cult, though. Isn't that interesting? Why is that?
Because curiosity does lead places. Endlessly. It NEVER runs out. It's difficult, if not impossible, to ideologically control someone who is constantly practicing curiosity.
You can't hold unquestioning faith and curiosity at the same time. In fact, it wasn't doubt that got me out of the cult in the first place. It was curiosity.
So this is just one of hundreds of examples of how we can step outside the framework, the binaries our conditioning provided us. True free thought means always stepping back from what is "known," always wondering if if this or that foundational assumption needs to be revisited, retested, redefined, reassessed.
[ed: typos]
🧵
#AbuseCulture #ReligiousTrauma #cults #atheism #exmo #exmormon #deconstruction
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In fact, curiosity is a great example of what I'm talking about.
My cult framed doubt as the opposite of unquestioning faith. This is an example of the control technique called Black & White Thinking, or polarized thinking. We're trained to think in binaries. This quality is all good, while that quality is all bad.
So once I discover my group is bad, and faith is bad, I might start to think doubt is all good. I might lean into doubt as my new replacement value. We start to see some of the outlines of the skeptic community, and the toxic behaviors of a certain subset of atheist thought.
At first, doubt is my only choice. Because I'm still operating under cult conditioning!!! where it's either full-on faith or doubt as a service.
Doubt makes for a terrible value. It isn't a goal! Skepticism by itself doesn't LEAD anywhere. It can't be a destination! Eventually, all that can be debunked, is. Then what?
I can surely bring a balance of skepticism into my life to help me check the answers I come across. It's a nice tool for moving towards *something*.
But step outside the false dichotomy.
Curiosity IS a value. Never one promoted by my cult, though. Isn't that interesting? Why is that?
Because curiosity does lead places. Endlessly. It NEVER runs out. It's difficult, if not impossible, to ideologically control someone who is constantly practicing curiosity.
You can't hold unquestioning faith and curiosity at the same time. In fact, it wasn't doubt that got me out of the cult in the first place. It was curiosity.
So this is just one of hundreds of examples of how we can step outside the framework, the binaries our conditioning provided us. True free thought means always stepping back from what is "known," always wondering if if this or that foundational assumption needs to be revisited, retested, redefined, reassessed.
[ed: typos]
🧵
#AbuseCulture #ReligiousTrauma #cults #atheism #exmo #exmormon #deconstruction
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The extreme opposite of a bad thing isn't necessarily a good thing.
This is only an extension of cultist / colonialist / capitalist conditioning.
I see this with people who have left cults. Their first instinct is to go all out opposite of what they were raised with.
We go through a similar process as we deconstruct wider society.
This phase is a bad place to land permanently, because you're still operating within the false, unhealthy framework that the conditioning offered you. It should only be a temporary step in the deconditioning process while you get your bearings and open up to be ways of thinking.
Look for balance and nuance. Never stop questioning, especially any new worldview you find yourself adopting.
Curiosity is a destination in itself, an ongoing value, a tool in the neverending process of understating reality and morality.
🧵
#AbuseCulture #ReligiousTrauma
#cults #atheism #exmo #exmormon #deconstruction -
The extreme opposite of a bad thing isn't necessarily a good thing.
This is only an extension of cultist / colonialist / capitalist conditioning.
I see this with people who have left cults. Their first instinct is to go all out opposite of what they were raised with.
We go through a similar process as we deconstruct wider society.
This phase is a bad place to land permanently, because you're still operating within the false, unhealthy framework that the conditioning offered you. It should only be a temporary step in the deconditioning process while you get your bearings and open up to be ways of thinking.
Look for balance and nuance. Never stop questioning, especially any new worldview you find yourself adopting.
Curiosity is a destination in itself, an ongoing value, a tool in the neverending process of understating reality and morality.
🧵
#AbuseCulture #ReligiousTrauma
#cults #atheism #exmo #exmormon #deconstruction -
The less said, on this platform (because most of us don’t need reminding) about #PaulineHanson the better. Unless of course it is in the course of throwing some more ridicule on the ridiculest: towit #AnnabelCrabb — who suddenly begins to be awake to it —and her critique of #PHON call to #monoculture:
“Pauline Hanson herself, meanwhile, popped back into the chat regularly over the week to offer helpful definitional prompts including that Japan is a monoculture.
Now, this in itself should have been a clue that it was well past time for everybody to go home for a lie down.
Because if there's anything more hallucination-inducing than the woman who 30 years ago had her undies in a bunch about too many Asians suddenly fancying we should be a bit more like Japan, I don't care to imagine it.
And yet. And yet. Unbelievably, there were still players willing to trudge out and engage, seriously, with the question of whether we should be Japan.”
Thanks for the merriment Annabel, may all your future pieces and vids carry the same clarity of political nous. And for all those polies still wondering what monoculture is, I’ll give you all a clue… it’s about #Cults … sit with that for a while.
#AusPol #Nationalism #Fascism #Racism #TaxTheRich #TruthInPoliticalAdvertising
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The less said, on this platform (because most of us don’t need reminding) about #PaulineHanson the better. Unless of course it is in the course of throwing some more ridicule on the ridiculest: towit #AnnabelCrabb — who suddenly begins to be awake to it —and her critique of #PHON call to #monoculture:
“Pauline Hanson herself, meanwhile, popped back into the chat regularly over the week to offer helpful definitional prompts including that Japan is a monoculture.
Now, this in itself should have been a clue that it was well past time for everybody to go home for a lie down.
Because if there's anything more hallucination-inducing than the woman who 30 years ago had her undies in a bunch about too many Asians suddenly fancying we should be a bit more like Japan, I don't care to imagine it.
And yet. And yet. Unbelievably, there were still players willing to trudge out and engage, seriously, with the question of whether we should be Japan.”
Thanks for the merriment Annabel, may all your future pieces and vids carry the same clarity of political nous. And for all those polies still wondering what monoculture is, I’ll give you all a clue… it’s about #Cults … sit with that for a while.
#AusPol #Nationalism #Fascism #Racism #TaxTheRich #TruthInPoliticalAdvertising
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What’s something you’d love to see in the future, but know you probably won’t live to witness?
#football #cults #sport #religion #DailyPrompt #love #relationships #unity #WorldCup
https://forsinglesandcouples.is/seeing-the-human-race-interact-with-real-love-and-true-unity/
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What’s something you’d love to see in the future, but know you probably won’t live to witness?
#football #cults #sport #religion #DailyPrompt #love #relationships #unity #WorldCup
https://forsinglesandcouples.is/seeing-the-human-race-interact-with-real-love-and-true-unity/
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Their Secret Society Leaked... #Thiel #SecretSociety #Dialog #leak #cults #WW3 youtube.com/watch?v=eSy4...
Their secret society just leak... -
#BringHerBack was a recommendation given by @lunchb0x_b some months ago.
Please watch it a great #Australian #BodyHorror #movie that doesn’t waste your time!
1 hour and 45 minutes of not useless/meaningless scenes.I know that the #FosterFamily can be seen as an old and overused topic, but movie adds #cults to it.
#HBO #HBOMAX #streaming #cinema #movies #horror #AustralianCinema #AustralianMovies
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#BringHerBack was a recommendation given by @lunchb0x_b some months ago.
Please watch it a great #Australian #BodyHorror #movie that doesn’t waste your time!
1 hour and 45 minutes of not useless/meaningless scenes.I know that the #FosterFamily can be seen as an old and overused topic, but movie adds #cults to it.
#HBO #HBOMAX #streaming #cinema #movies #horror #AustralianCinema #AustralianMovies
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There's a remote masters-level course on the psychology of coercive control offered by Stanford. If anyone is interested.
"This online course provides advanced insights into the practice and research of coercive control and behaviour, including its development and effects on individuals, families, and organisations. You will gain a deep understanding of the psychological processes involved in coercive and controlling behaviour across various settings such as domestic relationships, human trafficking, gangs, extremist groups, and wider organisational contexts...
"The course prepares you to advance your career in professions where there is a growing need for expertise in preventing and addressing coercive control and abuse. It also sets you up well for applying to professional doctorates and research career paths in psychology or other relevant disciplines."
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There's a remote masters-level course on the psychology of coercive control offered by Stanford. If anyone is interested.
"This online course provides advanced insights into the practice and research of coercive control and behaviour, including its development and effects on individuals, families, and organisations. You will gain a deep understanding of the psychological processes involved in coercive and controlling behaviour across various settings such as domestic relationships, human trafficking, gangs, extremist groups, and wider organisational contexts...
"The course prepares you to advance your career in professions where there is a growing need for expertise in preventing and addressing coercive control and abuse. It also sets you up well for applying to professional doctorates and research career paths in psychology or other relevant disciplines."
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Secret Society Dialog By Peter Thiel Exposed By Hacktivist; Know Its High-Profile Members
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Ex-Pastor Exposes MAGA Evangelicals For Rewriting Jesus Into Image Of Trump Era Authoritarian Politics
https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/maga-christianity-faith-political-identity-1802747
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First amendment audit weirdos are out today in Davis. Geez — don’t these cults have something better to do? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Amendment_audit?fbclid=IwZnRzaASdKdhleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAo2NjI4NTY4Mzc5AAEea_lYrK-6FyM5vrMLCQ6nt-T6oUwLL_uGtH_Zl5U9KzbR75oSbuPrJpM4B_0_aem_r6lyIv-6WdYaEpe31Jda2w #cults
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First amendment audit weirdos are out today in Davis. Geez — don’t these cults have something better to do? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Amendment_audit?fbclid=IwZnRzaASdKdhleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBzcnRjBmFwcF9pZAo2NjI4NTY4Mzc5AAEea_lYrK-6FyM5vrMLCQ6nt-T6oUwLL_uGtH_Zl5U9KzbR75oSbuPrJpM4B_0_aem_r6lyIv-6WdYaEpe31Jda2w #cults
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A lot of MAGA right now, those who aren't at their core about hate and power grabs, they're in the phase just the other side of FAFO, where they're destabilized in their belief systems.
This is the point where they're going to be open to listening.
But not if we aggro at them.
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A lot of MAGA right now, those who aren't at their core about hate and power grabs, they're in the phase just the other side of FAFO, where they're destabilized in their belief systems.
This is the point where they're going to be open to listening.
But not if we aggro at them.
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Pluralistic: Daily links from Cory Doctorow – No trackers, no ads. Black type, white background. Privacy policy: we don't collect or retain any data at all ever period. [Unofficial] @[email protected] ·Pluralistic: Naomi Kritzer's "Obstetrix" (09 Jun 2026)
http://web.brid.gy/r/https://pluralistic.net/2026/06/09/deliver-us/
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Pluralistic: Daily links from Cory Doctorow – No trackers, no ads. Black type, white background. Privacy policy: we don't collect or retain any data at all ever period. [Unofficial] @[email protected] ·Pluralistic: Naomi Kritzer's "Obstetrix" (09 Jun 2026)
http://web.brid.gy/r/https://pluralistic.net/2026/06/09/deliver-us/
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🔴 LIVE NOW ON VORTEX
📻 Vortex Dawn 🌅 (Neoclassical, ambient, soft post-rock)
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🎵 Cults - Always Forever▶️ Écouter / Listen : VorteX [Radio]
https://lesonduvortex.net💬 Join us on Discord:
https://discord.gg/d82hJZBeDE -
“A haven” and place of knowledge: The key role of libraries and librarians in “Gay the Pray Away”
“Valerie Danners is in a cult. She just doesn’t know it yet. But when she stumbles upon a queer romance novel at the library, everything about her life—centered around a fundamentalist Christian homeschooling group —is thrown into question.”- Book’s official description on Penguin Random House, to give an example of what got me into this book.
Last year, I noted that I purchased a book during a sale of Pride-themed books on Bookshop and came across a book by Natalie Naudus entitled Gay the Pray Away. One of the key protagonists of this novel, Valerie Danners comes across a queer romance novel at the local library and begins, plus her coming across a new girl in town named Riley, that turns her world upside down. In my post the, I noted that libraries and knowledge are key to the book, with librarians supportive of her learning more about queer people, likely even letting her take the aforementioned queer romance book with her, and pointing out, how at one point, her restrictive parents do not allow her to go to the library. Their reasoning is simple: they know that the information there goes against the teachings of the Christian fundamentalist cult she is a part of. In this post I’ll expand on that and talk about more of the themes in this queer young adult romance novel and connect it to my previous posts.
Libraries and knowledge are key to this book even from the first chapter. Valerie, who is half-Asian/multiracial/biracial is performing and acting like she is a reactionary bible-thumper like her parents, who have been pulled into a misogynistic cult (she doesn’t realize the extent of this at the time) led by a White man. She goes to the library, despite her “friend” Hannah telling her that she can use the approved Bible encyclopedia (which only allows people to see certain information) but she resists the words of her “friend.” She later convinces her parents, with her mom from Taiwan and her dad a White man from the U.S., to bring her to the library, which she calls a quiet “haven” (see page 16) so she can do “some research” for her school paper, claiming she wants to read a Sean Hannity book (a lie). She acts like she is going there to do research but she actually wants to go to the young adult section, so she can lose herself in fantasy. She explains how she was once at a protest against a book deemed “sinful” with her mother, and how she lives to read, with what she says on page 17 making clear what’s she going through:
Every change I get, I’m tucked in my closet, devouring anything [to read] I can get my hands on. My life and world feel so small and strict and cold. I see the same people all the time who believe the same things, dress the same, talk the same, look the same. But books? Books are my escape.
She soon comes across a book by queer non-binary romance novelist Casey McQuiston, named One Last Stop, flips/zooms through it when her mom isn’t looking, calling it a “forbidden” book (since it is gay), but says it looks “pretty and joyful,” and steals the book, tucking it into her skirt. A librarian, a White man with glasses, accidentally crashes his book cart into a shelf, and while she thinks she will get caught as the alarm goes off, the librarian says it isn’t an issue, adding that their system is buggy and tells her to have a nice day. She places the book she had into the bottom of her backpack while in the bathroom, and lies to her mom about what happened. Going forward, it is an open question as to whether the librarian knew she had the book or not, which is something open to interpretation.
Going into the second chapter, she hides the book so she can hide this “contraband,” while putting on a good face, and kept in this sort of prison, even thinking that her brother David is a sort of ally (I’ll get to that later too). It is interesting that she sees her closet as a place where she is safe (likely inferring to the closet that queer people find themselves in before coming out) and it is where she rips off the cover of the book, throws it in the toilet, and adds a post-it note to it, if it is found. This paranoia is part of her daily life, where she is being watched and controlled, with her parents limiting information (there’s no Wi-Fi and the her brother’s bedroom was removed), she hides this book behind others, so it can’t be found, and her brother watches pirated anime, as she knows full well.
With all of this, it is no surprise that she hates the “approved” books about motherhood and being a “godly woman,” because who would like those books? She sees fantasy as a way of escape and reads One Last Stop all night learning about words like queer and bisexual (one reviewer noted that she is implied as bisexual) and sees the world of gay and queer people as joyful, warm, and fun. This contrasts with the controlling attitude of her mother and father which is abusive in more ways than one. While it is a while before she returns to the library or talks about the “secret stolen book” (One Last Stop) as she briefly calls it in Chapter 4, she does come across one more person who changes her life: a girl her age named Riley. She instantly falls for her, with Riley helping break the mindset which is holding her in this terrible situation. The same goes for her talking to Mira (formerly Miriam) who shakes her mindset.
In fact, it isn’t until chapter 7 that the aforementioned book appears again, with Valerie noting she has been “reading, rereading, and re-rereading” the book, while smiling, and begging to ride her bike to the library herself, where she, goes in, as she puts on page 59, and continues on page 60, saying specifically:
“…the farthest corner, in the cubicle with the computer facing the wall and my seat facing the entrance, I get on the internet. With one eye on the entrance in case someone comes in, I start with L and read my way through articles on the GBTQIA and the +. I read articles by the Episcopalians…about homosexuality and the Bible, and how the conservative ideology I’ve been taught is not universally accepted…[later] I’m back at the library. I google every “dangerous liberal doctrine” I can remember being trashed in sermons and lectures…I read about feminism, intersectional feminism, Kimberle Crenshaw, and critical race theory.”
She goes onto note how her parents censor the home internet, review the search history she and her brother go through, and question them about sites they visit. She says she feels “drunk with the sheer power of knowledge” from the library, which she calls the “unregulated wilds.” As the chapter goes on, she comes across the same librarian as before, who wears a sweater, who encourages her to take a queer book, noting it has a “super discreet cover.” As the book goes on, Riley and Valerie “Val” get closer, with Riley helping puncture Val’s impression of the restrictive situation she is in, as she slowly realizes she is in a cult after all.
Sometime later, Val notes, on page 87, she gets lost in books in the library and even smells them, kisses Riley (they both kiss one another various times), and admits she “stole a book from the library” (page 112). The latter surprises Riley, who likely sees her as rebellious. Beyond more chapters showing the insidious of this cult and the forced male-female courting pushed onto boys and girls, she goes to the library over and over, saying she read “every gay book” she could find, whether about critical race theory, her rights, abortion, and more, while appearing submissive to her parents (page 126). She even gets a hidden message, through email, that Riley sent her, hidden within a chemistry paper, sending messages back and forth in the document (pages 140-141), while on the library computer. She continues doing this, while she claims she is studying (page 157), delivers books to Mrs. Miller from her mom.
The library serves as a place Val can be free without parental permission, where she can be herself (see pages 168-170 for instance). She even creates a secret Instagram account where she sees a picture of another girl kissing her cousin, Mira, on the side of the face, and begins a correspondence with her, asking for her help. As noted in the rest of the chapter, she makes clear she is so paranoid that she wants to log into Instagram, delete her messages, even her account, noting wanting the wrong people to find it. However, she doesn’t do that and meets with Mira, telling her what she is going through, allowing them to connect. The library serves as a place of acceptance in contrast to the strict, domineering nature of “home.”
While Riley and Val bond more and their romance deepens, with Riley even coming over for a sleepover at Val’s house, everything goes downhill after David accidentally witnesses (see page 199) Riley and Val kiss and snitches on them, betraying Val, and causing her a world of hurt. He did not have to expose her like that, but it shows that no one in the family can be trusted, how the propaganda can get to anyone, even her brother, who watches pirated anime. It is later revealed, on pages 201 to 202 that her parents found her “queer books” and sketches Riley did of her, even though she had been so careful, believing she was right to be paranoid. Her email password is changed, she is banned from using the computer and the kicker: she is “not allowed to go to the library anymore” and they return her library books, while her secret stolen book (The One Stop) is literally burned on a grill, and set on fire.
Of course, this sends Val into a spiral and depression, with her parents prohibiting her from speaking to Riley. She lashes out at Hannah, understandably, who claims she has to repent and repeats the same cultish viewpoint, even willing to cut ties with Val, showing she has lost to the propaganda. She later gets money from Mrs. Batra, and goes to a bookshelf, where she hides the money in an old encyclopedia (pages 207-209), and she later lashes out at David, who claims he is questioning things, even though he turned her in. She also notes that when she snuck books from the library and googled the conservative canon, she realized how problematic the books she had were, how racist they were (pages 213-214). In a heartbreaking scene, after she turns down the arranged date between her and Andrew Patterson, she says, on page 216:
…Screaming in frustration, I throw myself into my closet and pull the accordion door shut. And there, in the dark, without a single friendly book to comfort me, I cry.
Chapter 28 is when the library gets to chine once more, with Val taking money from Mrs. Batra, and running to the library, going through the woods, and refusing to marry Andrew, no matter what, and is determined to contact Riley. She logs into the computer, but her parents changed her password, then creates another account, and desperately writes a message to Riley, but not Mira, as she doesn’t want her parents to find out (see page 219). She gets back just in time and no one is the wiser. Chapter 29 is the key chapter not because Val works for Mrs. Batra again, but because she goes to the library, or because she is nervous to talk to the librarian who helped her before (she thinks he has “more recommendations for queer books with discreet covers”), and she gets what she was hoping for (see page 225). There’s a message from Val, saying she will pick her up on February 1st, and Val responds she will be ready.
For the next two weeks she plays “by the rules,” takes her Bible study seriously, and everything else, to allay any suspicion. She is able to leave, despite her dad being furious at her, but her mother, unexpectedly is a bit of an ally of sorts, and she gets away. She gets her sort-of happily-ever-after with Riley, as they live together, even if money is tight, away from the cult-like atmosphere. Toward the end of the book, Val notes that she bikes to the local library, reads, and begins to write a bit (see pages 241-242), and her mom helps her get the documents she needs, while in her own way she is supportive.
In the final part of this book includes resources, a reading guide, and an interview with the author. In the second of these is a question noting that Val’s turning point is when she picks up One Last Stop from the library, and another asks what role the library played in Val’s “journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance” (pages 247-248). In the third of these parts of what constitutes the book’s appendix, Naudus notes that during her childhood, books and reading were a “huge escape” with her getting in trouble for reading when she was supposed to be praying, adding that seeing yourself in a story is “like looking into a mirror,” and notes her inspirations, what queer joy means to her, and more (see pages 249 to 253).
I’ve written about theft, acceptance, and library as a place of refuge time and again on this blog, even linking some of the above here. I like how the library is shown as not a neutral place, but instead a place of knowledge. It provides Val with the information she needs to learn more about her surroundings, about her world, away from restrictions imposed on her. This is why Kendra Winchester of Book Riot called, in a review back in June 2024, this book a “love letter to libraries and the freedom they represent for their patrons,” adding that “without the books she reads at the library, she might never have been able to imagine a different future for herself.”
The role of the library in spreading knowledge, even that which challenges orthodoxies, is why some have began book bans and even some have burned books they have hated, not wanting anyone else to have that knowledge. They find that knowledge is dangerous because it challenges their worldview. This is why it is so important to protect libraries, whether academic, special, public, or otherwise, from attack by governments, individuals, and groups.
© 2025-2026 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.
#abusiveRelationships #arson #AsianAmerican #bookBurning #books #Bookshop #censorship #Christianity #cults #family #GayThePrayAway #informationProvider #lateBooks #lesbians #LGBTQ #librariesAreContested #librariesAreNotNeutral #libraryAsRefuge #libraryProperty #maleLibrarians #misogyny #OneLastStop #propaganda #quiet #reading #religion #restrictions #socialMedia #TaiwanesePatrons #theft #WhiteMen #WiFi -
“A haven” and place of knowledge: The key role of libraries and librarians in “Gay the Pray Away”
“Valerie Danners is in a cult. She just doesn’t know it yet. But when she stumbles upon a queer romance novel at the library, everything about her life—centered around a fundamentalist Christian homeschooling group —is thrown into question.”- Book’s official description on Penguin Random House, to give an example of what got me into this book.
Last year, I noted that I purchased a book during a sale of Pride-themed books on Bookshop and came across a book by Natalie Naudus entitled Gay the Pray Away. One of the key protagonists of this novel, Valerie Danners comes across a queer romance novel at the local library and begins, plus her coming across a new girl in town named Riley, that turns her world upside down. In my post the, I noted that libraries and knowledge are key to the book, with librarians supportive of her learning more about queer people, likely even letting her take the aforementioned queer romance book with her, and pointing out, how at one point, her restrictive parents do not allow her to go to the library. Their reasoning is simple: they know that the information there goes against the teachings of the Christian fundamentalist cult she is a part of. In this post I’ll expand on that and talk about more of the themes in this queer young adult romance novel and connect it to my previous posts.
Libraries and knowledge are key to this book even from the first chapter. Valerie, who is half-Asian/multiracial/biracial is performing and acting like she is a reactionary bible-thumper like her parents, who have been pulled into a misogynistic cult (she doesn’t realize the extent of this at the time) led by a White man. She goes to the library, despite her “friend” Hannah telling her that she can use the approved Bible encyclopedia (which only allows people to see certain information) but she resists the words of her “friend.” She later convinces her parents, with her mom from Taiwan and her dad a White man from the U.S., to bring her to the library, which she calls a quiet “haven” (see page 16) so she can do “some research” for her school paper, claiming she wants to read a Sean Hannity book (a lie). She acts like she is going there to do research but she actually wants to go to the young adult section, so she can lose herself in fantasy. She explains how she was once at a protest against a book deemed “sinful” with her mother, and how she lives to read, with what she says on page 17 making clear what’s she going through:
Every change I get, I’m tucked in my closet, devouring anything [to read] I can get my hands on. My life and world feel so small and strict and cold. I see the same people all the time who believe the same things, dress the same, talk the same, look the same. But books? Books are my escape.
She soon comes across a book by queer non-binary romance novelist Casey McQuiston, named One Last Stop, flips/zooms through it when her mom isn’t looking, calling it a “forbidden” book (since it is gay), but says it looks “pretty and joyful,” and steals the book, tucking it into her skirt. A librarian, a White man with glasses, accidentally crashes his book cart into a shelf, and while she thinks she will get caught as the alarm goes off, the librarian says it isn’t an issue, adding that their system is buggy and tells her to have a nice day. She places the book she had into the bottom of her backpack while in the bathroom, and lies to her mom about what happened. Going forward, it is an open question as to whether the librarian knew she had the book or not, which is something open to interpretation.
Going into the second chapter, she hides the book so she can hide this “contraband,” while putting on a good face, and kept in this sort of prison, even thinking that her brother David is a sort of ally (I’ll get to that later too). It is interesting that she sees her closet as a place where she is safe (likely inferring to the closet that queer people find themselves in before coming out) and it is where she rips off the cover of the book, throws it in the toilet, and adds a post-it note to it, if it is found. This paranoia is part of her daily life, where she is being watched and controlled, with her parents limiting information (there’s no Wi-Fi and the her brother’s bedroom was removed), she hides this book behind others, so it can’t be found, and her brother watches pirated anime, as she knows full well.
With all of this, it is no surprise that she hates the “approved” books about motherhood and being a “godly woman,” because who would like those books? She sees fantasy as a way of escape and reads One Last Stop all night learning about words like queer and bisexual (one reviewer noted that she is implied as bisexual) and sees the world of gay and queer people as joyful, warm, and fun. This contrasts with the controlling attitude of her mother and father which is abusive in more ways than one. While it is a while before she returns to the library or talks about the “secret stolen book” (One Last Stop) as she briefly calls it in Chapter 4, she does come across one more person who changes her life: a girl her age named Riley. She instantly falls for her, with Riley helping break the mindset which is holding her in this terrible situation. The same goes for her talking to Mira (formerly Miriam) who shakes her mindset.
In fact, it isn’t until chapter 7 that the aforementioned book appears again, with Valerie noting she has been “reading, rereading, and re-rereading” the book, while smiling, and begging to ride her bike to the library herself, where she, goes in, as she puts on page 59, and continues on page 60, saying specifically:
“…the farthest corner, in the cubicle with the computer facing the wall and my seat facing the entrance, I get on the internet. With one eye on the entrance in case someone comes in, I start with L and read my way through articles on the GBTQIA and the +. I read articles by the Episcopalians…about homosexuality and the Bible, and how the conservative ideology I’ve been taught is not universally accepted…[later] I’m back at the library. I google every “dangerous liberal doctrine” I can remember being trashed in sermons and lectures…I read about feminism, intersectional feminism, Kimberle Crenshaw, and critical race theory.”
She goes onto note how her parents censor the home internet, review the search history she and her brother go through, and question them about sites they visit. She says she feels “drunk with the sheer power of knowledge” from the library, which she calls the “unregulated wilds.” As the chapter goes on, she comes across the same librarian as before, who wears a sweater, who encourages her to take a queer book, noting it has a “super discreet cover.” As the book goes on, Riley and Valerie “Val” get closer, with Riley helping puncture Val’s impression of the restrictive situation she is in, as she slowly realizes she is in a cult after all.
Sometime later, Val notes, on page 87, she gets lost in books in the library and even smells them, kisses Riley (they both kiss one another various times), and admits she “stole a book from the library” (page 112). The latter surprises Riley, who likely sees her as rebellious. Beyond more chapters showing the insidious of this cult and the forced male-female courting pushed onto boys and girls, she goes to the library over and over, saying she read “every gay book” she could find, whether about critical race theory, her rights, abortion, and more, while appearing submissive to her parents (page 126). She even gets a hidden message, through email, that Riley sent her, hidden within a chemistry paper, sending messages back and forth in the document (pages 140-141), while on the library computer. She continues doing this, while she claims she is studying (page 157), delivers books to Mrs. Miller from her mom.
The library serves as a place Val can be free without parental permission, where she can be herself (see pages 168-170 for instance). She even creates a secret Instagram account where she sees a picture of another girl kissing her cousin, Mira, on the side of the face, and begins a correspondence with her, asking for her help. As noted in the rest of the chapter, she makes clear she is so paranoid that she wants to log into Instagram, delete her messages, even her account, noting wanting the wrong people to find it. However, she doesn’t do that and meets with Mira, telling her what she is going through, allowing them to connect. The library serves as a place of acceptance in contrast to the strict, domineering nature of “home.”
While Riley and Val bond more and their romance deepens, with Riley even coming over for a sleepover at Val’s house, everything goes downhill after David accidentally witnesses (see page 199) Riley and Val kiss and snitches on them, betraying Val, and causing her a world of hurt. He did not have to expose her like that, but it shows that no one in the family can be trusted, how the propaganda can get to anyone, even her brother, who watches pirated anime. It is later revealed, on pages 201 to 202 that her parents found her “queer books” and sketches Riley did of her, even though she had been so careful, believing she was right to be paranoid. Her email password is changed, she is banned from using the computer and the kicker: she is “not allowed to go to the library anymore” and they return her library books, while her secret stolen book (The One Stop) is literally burned on a grill, and set on fire.
Of course, this sends Val into a spiral and depression, with her parents prohibiting her from speaking to Riley. She lashes out at Hannah, understandably, who claims she has to repent and repeats the same cultish viewpoint, even willing to cut ties with Val, showing she has lost to the propaganda. She later gets money from Mrs. Batra, and goes to a bookshelf, where she hides the money in an old encyclopedia (pages 207-209), and she later lashes out at David, who claims he is questioning things, even though he turned her in. She also notes that when she snuck books from the library and googled the conservative canon, she realized how problematic the books she had were, how racist they were (pages 213-214). In a heartbreaking scene, after she turns down the arranged date between her and Andrew Patterson, she says, on page 216:
…Screaming in frustration, I throw myself into my closet and pull the accordion door shut. And there, in the dark, without a single friendly book to comfort me, I cry.
Chapter 28 is when the library gets to chine once more, with Val taking money from Mrs. Batra, and running to the library, going through the woods, and refusing to marry Andrew, no matter what, and is determined to contact Riley. She logs into the computer, but her parents changed her password, then creates another account, and desperately writes a message to Riley, but not Mira, as she doesn’t want her parents to find out (see page 219). She gets back just in time and no one is the wiser. Chapter 29 is the key chapter not because Val works for Mrs. Batra again, but because she goes to the library, or because she is nervous to talk to the librarian who helped her before (she thinks he has “more recommendations for queer books with discreet covers”), and she gets what she was hoping for (see page 225). There’s a message from Val, saying she will pick her up on February 1st, and Val responds she will be ready.
For the next two weeks she plays “by the rules,” takes her Bible study seriously, and everything else, to allay any suspicion. She is able to leave, despite her dad being furious at her, but her mother, unexpectedly is a bit of an ally of sorts, and she gets away. She gets her sort-of happily-ever-after with Riley, as they live together, even if money is tight, away from the cult-like atmosphere. Toward the end of the book, Val notes that she bikes to the local library, reads, and begins to write a bit (see pages 241-242), and her mom helps her get the documents she needs, while in her own way she is supportive.
In the final part of this book includes resources, a reading guide, and an interview with the author. In the second of these is a question noting that Val’s turning point is when she picks up One Last Stop from the library, and another asks what role the library played in Val’s “journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance” (pages 247-248). In the third of these parts of what constitutes the book’s appendix, Naudus notes that during her childhood, books and reading were a “huge escape” with her getting in trouble for reading when she was supposed to be praying, adding that seeing yourself in a story is “like looking into a mirror,” and notes her inspirations, what queer joy means to her, and more (see pages 249 to 253).
I’ve written about theft, acceptance, and library as a place of refuge time and again on this blog, even linking some of the above here. I like how the library is shown as not a neutral place, but instead a place of knowledge. It provides Val with the information she needs to learn more about her surroundings, about her world, away from restrictions imposed on her. This is why Kendra Winchester of Book Riot called, in a review back in June 2024, this book a “love letter to libraries and the freedom they represent for their patrons,” adding that “without the books she reads at the library, she might never have been able to imagine a different future for herself.”
The role of the library in spreading knowledge, even that which challenges orthodoxies, is why some have began book bans and even some have burned books they have hated, not wanting anyone else to have that knowledge. They find that knowledge is dangerous because it challenges their worldview. This is why it is so important to protect libraries, whether academic, special, public, or otherwise, from attack by governments, individuals, and groups.
© 2025-2026 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.
#abusiveRelationships #arson #AsianAmerican #bookBurning #books #Bookshop #censorship #Christianity #cults #family #GayThePrayAway #informationProvider #lateBooks #lesbians #LGBTQ #librariesAreContested #librariesAreNotNeutral #libraryAsRefuge #libraryProperty #maleLibrarians #misogyny #OneLastStop #propaganda #quiet #reading #religion #restrictions #socialMedia #TaiwanesePatrons #theft #WhiteMen #WiFi -
“A haven” and place of knowledge: The key role of libraries and librarians in “Gay the Pray Away”
“Valerie Danners is in a cult. She just doesn’t know it yet. But when she stumbles upon a queer romance novel at the library, everything about her life—centered around a fundamentalist Christian homeschooling group —is thrown into question.”- Book’s official description on Penguin Random House, to give an example of what got me into this book.
Last year, I noted that I purchased a book during a sale of Pride-themed books on Bookshop and came across a book by Natalie Naudus entitled Gay the Pray Away. One of the key protagonists of this novel, Valerie Danners comes across a queer romance novel at the local library and begins, plus her coming across a new girl in town named Riley, that turns her world upside down. In my post the, I noted that libraries and knowledge are key to the book, with librarians supportive of her learning more about queer people, likely even letting her take the aforementioned queer romance book with her, and pointing out, how at one point, her restrictive parents do not allow her to go to the library. Their reasoning is simple: they know that the information there goes against the teachings of the Christian fundamentalist cult she is a part of. In this post I’ll expand on that and talk about more of the themes in this queer young adult romance novel and connect it to my previous posts.
Libraries and knowledge are key to this book even from the first chapter. Valerie, who is half-Asian/multiracial/biracial is performing and acting like she is a reactionary bible-thumper like her parents, who have been pulled into a misogynistic cult (she doesn’t realize the extent of this at the time) led by a White man. She goes to the library, despite her “friend” Hannah telling her that she can use the approved Bible encyclopedia (which only allows people to see certain information) but she resists the words of her “friend.” She later convinces her parents, with her mom from Taiwan and her dad a White man from the U.S., to bring her to the library, which she calls a quiet “haven” (see page 16) so she can do “some research” for her school paper, claiming she wants to read a Sean Hannity book (a lie). She acts like she is going there to do research but she actually wants to go to the young adult section, so she can lose herself in fantasy. She explains how she was once at a protest against a book deemed “sinful” with her mother, and how she lives to read, with what she says on page 17 making clear what’s she going through:
Every change I get, I’m tucked in my closet, devouring anything [to read] I can get my hands on. My life and world feel so small and strict and cold. I see the same people all the time who believe the same things, dress the same, talk the same, look the same. But books? Books are my escape.
She soon comes across a book by queer non-binary romance novelist Casey McQuiston, named One Last Stop, flips/zooms through it when her mom isn’t looking, calling it a “forbidden” book (since it is gay), but says it looks “pretty and joyful,” and steals the book, tucking it into her skirt. A librarian, a White man with glasses, accidentally crashes his book cart into a shelf, and while she thinks she will get caught as the alarm goes off, the librarian says it isn’t an issue, adding that their system is buggy and tells her to have a nice day. She places the book she had into the bottom of her backpack while in the bathroom, and lies to her mom about what happened. Going forward, it is an open question as to whether the librarian knew she had the book or not, which is something open to interpretation.
Going into the second chapter, she hides the book so she can hide this “contraband,” while putting on a good face, and kept in this sort of prison, even thinking that her brother David is a sort of ally (I’ll get to that later too). It is interesting that she sees her closet as a place where she is safe (likely inferring to the closet that queer people find themselves in before coming out) and it is where she rips off the cover of the book, throws it in the toilet, and adds a post-it note to it, if it is found. This paranoia is part of her daily life, where she is being watched and controlled, with her parents limiting information (there’s no Wi-Fi and the her brother’s bedroom was removed), she hides this book behind others, so it can’t be found, and her brother watches pirated anime, as she knows full well.
With all of this, it is no surprise that she hates the “approved” books about motherhood and being a “godly woman,” because who would like those books? She sees fantasy as a way of escape and reads One Last Stop all night learning about words like queer and bisexual (one reviewer noted that she is implied as bisexual) and sees the world of gay and queer people as joyful, warm, and fun. This contrasts with the controlling attitude of her mother and father which is abusive in more ways than one. While it is a while before she returns to the library or talks about the “secret stolen book” (One Last Stop) as she briefly calls it in Chapter 4, she does come across one more person who changes her life: a girl her age named Riley. She instantly falls for her, with Riley helping break the mindset which is holding her in this terrible situation. The same goes for her talking to Mira (formerly Miriam) who shakes her mindset.
In fact, it isn’t until chapter 7 that the aforementioned book appears again, with Valerie noting she has been “reading, rereading, and re-rereading” the book, while smiling, and begging to ride her bike to the library herself, where she, goes in, as she puts on page 59, and continues on page 60, saying specifically:
“…the farthest corner, in the cubicle with the computer facing the wall and my seat facing the entrance, I get on the internet. With one eye on the entrance in case someone comes in, I start with L and read my way through articles on the GBTQIA and the +. I read articles by the Episcopalians…about homosexuality and the Bible, and how the conservative ideology I’ve been taught is not universally accepted…[later] I’m back at the library. I google every “dangerous liberal doctrine” I can remember being trashed in sermons and lectures…I read about feminism, intersectional feminism, Kimberle Crenshaw, and critical race theory.”
She goes onto note how her parents censor the home internet, review the search history she and her brother go through, and question them about sites they visit. She says she feels “drunk with the sheer power of knowledge” from the library, which she calls the “unregulated wilds.” As the chapter goes on, she comes across the same librarian as before, who wears a sweater, who encourages her to take a queer book, noting it has a “super discreet cover.” As the book goes on, Riley and Valerie “Val” get closer, with Riley helping puncture Val’s impression of the restrictive situation she is in, as she slowly realizes she is in a cult after all.
Sometime later, Val notes, on page 87, she gets lost in books in the library and even smells them, kisses Riley (they both kiss one another various times), and admits she “stole a book from the library” (page 112). The latter surprises Riley, who likely sees her as rebellious. Beyond more chapters showing the insidious of this cult and the forced male-female courting pushed onto boys and girls, she goes to the library over and over, saying she read “every gay book” she could find, whether about critical race theory, her rights, abortion, and more, while appearing submissive to her parents (page 126). She even gets a hidden message, through email, that Riley sent her, hidden within a chemistry paper, sending messages back and forth in the document (pages 140-141), while on the library computer. She continues doing this, while she claims she is studying (page 157), delivers books to Mrs. Miller from her mom.
The library serves as a place Val can be free without parental permission, where she can be herself (see pages 168-170 for instance). She even creates a secret Instagram account where she sees a picture of another girl kissing her cousin, Mira, on the side of the face, and begins a correspondence with her, asking for her help. As noted in the rest of the chapter, she makes clear she is so paranoid that she wants to log into Instagram, delete her messages, even her account, noting wanting the wrong people to find it. However, she doesn’t do that and meets with Mira, telling her what she is going through, allowing them to connect. The library serves as a place of acceptance in contrast to the strict, domineering nature of “home.”
While Riley and Val bond more and their romance deepens, with Riley even coming over for a sleepover at Val’s house, everything goes downhill after David accidentally witnesses (see page 199) Riley and Val kiss and snitches on them, betraying Val, and causing her a world of hurt. He did not have to expose her like that, but it shows that no one in the family can be trusted, how the propaganda can get to anyone, even her brother, who watches pirated anime. It is later revealed, on pages 201 to 202 that her parents found her “queer books” and sketches Riley did of her, even though she had been so careful, believing she was right to be paranoid. Her email password is changed, she is banned from using the computer and the kicker: she is “not allowed to go to the library anymore” and they return her library books, while her secret stolen book (The One Stop) is literally burned on a grill, and set on fire.
Of course, this sends Val into a spiral and depression, with her parents prohibiting her from speaking to Riley. She lashes out at Hannah, understandably, who claims she has to repent and repeats the same cultish viewpoint, even willing to cut ties with Val, showing she has lost to the propaganda. She later gets money from Mrs. Batra, and goes to a bookshelf, where she hides the money in an old encyclopedia (pages 207-209), and she later lashes out at David, who claims he is questioning things, even though he turned her in. She also notes that when she snuck books from the library and googled the conservative canon, she realized how problematic the books she had were, how racist they were (pages 213-214). In a heartbreaking scene, after she turns down the arranged date between her and Andrew Patterson, she says, on page 216:
…Screaming in frustration, I throw myself into my closet and pull the accordion door shut. And there, in the dark, without a single friendly book to comfort me, I cry.
Chapter 28 is when the library gets to chine once more, with Val taking money from Mrs. Batra, and running to the library, going through the woods, and refusing to marry Andrew, no matter what, and is determined to contact Riley. She logs into the computer, but her parents changed her password, then creates another account, and desperately writes a message to Riley, but not Mira, as she doesn’t want her parents to find out (see page 219). She gets back just in time and no one is the wiser. Chapter 29 is the key chapter not because Val works for Mrs. Batra again, but because she goes to the library, or because she is nervous to talk to the librarian who helped her before (she thinks he has “more recommendations for queer books with discreet covers”), and she gets what she was hoping for (see page 225). There’s a message from Val, saying she will pick her up on February 1st, and Val responds she will be ready.
For the next two weeks she plays “by the rules,” takes her Bible study seriously, and everything else, to allay any suspicion. She is able to leave, despite her dad being furious at her, but her mother, unexpectedly is a bit of an ally of sorts, and she gets away. She gets her sort-of happily-ever-after with Riley, as they live together, even if money is tight, away from the cult-like atmosphere. Toward the end of the book, Val notes that she bikes to the local library, reads, and begins to write a bit (see pages 241-242), and her mom helps her get the documents she needs, while in her own way she is supportive.
In the final part of this book includes resources, a reading guide, and an interview with the author. In the second of these is a question noting that Val’s turning point is when she picks up One Last Stop from the library, and another asks what role the library played in Val’s “journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance” (pages 247-248). In the third of these parts of what constitutes the book’s appendix, Naudus notes that during her childhood, books and reading were a “huge escape” with her getting in trouble for reading when she was supposed to be praying, adding that seeing yourself in a story is “like looking into a mirror,” and notes her inspirations, what queer joy means to her, and more (see pages 249 to 253).
I’ve written about theft, acceptance, and library as a place of refuge time and again on this blog, even linking some of the above here. I like how the library is shown as not a neutral place, but instead a place of knowledge. It provides Val with the information she needs to learn more about her surroundings, about her world, away from restrictions imposed on her. This is why Kendra Winchester of Book Riot called, in a review back in June 2024, this book a “love letter to libraries and the freedom they represent for their patrons,” adding that “without the books she reads at the library, she might never have been able to imagine a different future for herself.”
The role of the library in spreading knowledge, even that which challenges orthodoxies, is why some have began book bans and even some have burned books they have hated, not wanting anyone else to have that knowledge. They find that knowledge is dangerous because it challenges their worldview. This is why it is so important to protect libraries, whether academic, special, public, or otherwise, from attack by governments, individuals, and groups.
© 2025-2026 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.
#abusiveRelationships #arson #AsianAmerican #bookBurning #books #Bookshop #censorship #Christianity #cults #family #GayThePrayAway #informationProvider #lateBooks #lesbians #LGBTQ #librariesAreContested #librariesAreNotNeutral #libraryAsRefuge #libraryProperty #maleLibrarians #misogyny #OneLastStop #propaganda #quiet #reading #religion #restrictions #socialMedia #TaiwanesePatrons #theft #WhiteMen #WiFi -
“A haven” and place of knowledge: The key role of libraries and librarians in “Gay the Pray Away”
“Valerie Danners is in a cult. She just doesn’t know it yet. But when she stumbles upon a queer romance novel at the library, everything about her life—centered around a fundamentalist Christian homeschooling group —is thrown into question.”- Book’s official description on Penguin Random House, to give an example of what got me into this book.
Last year, I noted that I purchased a book during a sale of Pride-themed books on Bookshop and came across a book by Natalie Naudus entitled Gay the Pray Away. One of the key protagonists of this novel, Valerie Danners comes across a queer romance novel at the local library and begins, plus her coming across a new girl in town named Riley, that turns her world upside down. In my post the, I noted that libraries and knowledge are key to the book, with librarians supportive of her learning more about queer people, likely even letting her take the aforementioned queer romance book with her, and pointing out, how at one point, her restrictive parents do not allow her to go to the library. Their reasoning is simple: they know that the information there goes against the teachings of the Christian fundamentalist cult she is a part of. In this post I’ll expand on that and talk about more of the themes in this queer young adult romance novel and connect it to my previous posts.
Libraries and knowledge are key to this book even from the first chapter. Valerie, who is half-Asian/multiracial/biracial is performing and acting like she is a reactionary bible-thumper like her parents, who have been pulled into a misogynistic cult (she doesn’t realize the extent of this at the time) led by a White man. She goes to the library, despite her “friend” Hannah telling her that she can use the approved Bible encyclopedia (which only allows people to see certain information) but she resists the words of her “friend.” She later convinces her parents, with her mom from Taiwan and her dad a White man from the U.S., to bring her to the library, which she calls a quiet “haven” (see page 16) so she can do “some research” for her school paper, claiming she wants to read a Sean Hannity book (a lie). She acts like she is going there to do research but she actually wants to go to the young adult section, so she can lose herself in fantasy. She explains how she was once at a protest against a book deemed “sinful” with her mother, and how she lives to read, with what she says on page 17 making clear what’s she going through:
Every change I get, I’m tucked in my closet, devouring anything [to read] I can get my hands on. My life and world feel so small and strict and cold. I see the same people all the time who believe the same things, dress the same, talk the same, look the same. But books? Books are my escape.
She soon comes across a book by queer non-binary romance novelist Casey McQuiston, named One Last Stop, flips/zooms through it when her mom isn’t looking, calling it a “forbidden” book (since it is gay), but says it looks “pretty and joyful,” and steals the book, tucking it into her skirt. A librarian, a White man with glasses, accidentally crashes his book cart into a shelf, and while she thinks she will get caught as the alarm goes off, the librarian says it isn’t an issue, adding that their system is buggy and tells her to have a nice day. She places the book she had into the bottom of her backpack while in the bathroom, and lies to her mom about what happened. Going forward, it is an open question as to whether the librarian knew she had the book or not, which is something open to interpretation.
Going into the second chapter, she hides the book so she can hide this “contraband,” while putting on a good face, and kept in this sort of prison, even thinking that her brother David is a sort of ally (I’ll get to that later too). It is interesting that she sees her closet as a place where she is safe (likely inferring to the closet that queer people find themselves in before coming out) and it is where she rips off the cover of the book, throws it in the toilet, and adds a post-it note to it, if it is found. This paranoia is part of her daily life, where she is being watched and controlled, with her parents limiting information (there’s no Wi-Fi and the her brother’s bedroom was removed), she hides this book behind others, so it can’t be found, and her brother watches pirated anime, as she knows full well.
With all of this, it is no surprise that she hates the “approved” books about motherhood and being a “godly woman,” because who would like those books? She sees fantasy as a way of escape and reads One Last Stop all night learning about words like queer and bisexual (one reviewer noted that she is implied as bisexual) and sees the world of gay and queer people as joyful, warm, and fun. This contrasts with the controlling attitude of her mother and father which is abusive in more ways than one. While it is a while before she returns to the library or talks about the “secret stolen book” (One Last Stop) as she briefly calls it in Chapter 4, she does come across one more person who changes her life: a girl her age named Riley. She instantly falls for her, with Riley helping break the mindset which is holding her in this terrible situation. The same goes for her talking to Mira (formerly Miriam) who shakes her mindset.
In fact, it isn’t until chapter 7 that the aforementioned book appears again, with Valerie noting she has been “reading, rereading, and re-rereading” the book, while smiling, and begging to ride her bike to the library herself, where she, goes in, as she puts on page 59, and continues on page 60, saying specifically:
“…the farthest corner, in the cubicle with the computer facing the wall and my seat facing the entrance, I get on the internet. With one eye on the entrance in case someone comes in, I start with L and read my way through articles on the GBTQIA and the +. I read articles by the Episcopalians…about homosexuality and the Bible, and how the conservative ideology I’ve been taught is not universally accepted…[later] I’m back at the library. I google every “dangerous liberal doctrine” I can remember being trashed in sermons and lectures…I read about feminism, intersectional feminism, Kimberle Crenshaw, and critical race theory.”
She goes onto note how her parents censor the home internet, review the search history she and her brother go through, and question them about sites they visit. She says she feels “drunk with the sheer power of knowledge” from the library, which she calls the “unregulated wilds.” As the chapter goes on, she comes across the same librarian as before, who wears a sweater, who encourages her to take a queer book, noting it has a “super discreet cover.” As the book goes on, Riley and Valerie “Val” get closer, with Riley helping puncture Val’s impression of the restrictive situation she is in, as she slowly realizes she is in a cult after all.
Sometime later, Val notes, on page 87, she gets lost in books in the library and even smells them, kisses Riley (they both kiss one another various times), and admits she “stole a book from the library” (page 112). The latter surprises Riley, who likely sees her as rebellious. Beyond more chapters showing the insidious of this cult and the forced male-female courting pushed onto boys and girls, she goes to the library over and over, saying she read “every gay book” she could find, whether about critical race theory, her rights, abortion, and more, while appearing submissive to her parents (page 126). She even gets a hidden message, through email, that Riley sent her, hidden within a chemistry paper, sending messages back and forth in the document (pages 140-141), while on the library computer. She continues doing this, while she claims she is studying (page 157), delivers books to Mrs. Miller from her mom.
The library serves as a place Val can be free without parental permission, where she can be herself (see pages 168-170 for instance). She even creates a secret Instagram account where she sees a picture of another girl kissing her cousin, Mira, on the side of the face, and begins a correspondence with her, asking for her help. As noted in the rest of the chapter, she makes clear she is so paranoid that she wants to log into Instagram, delete her messages, even her account, noting wanting the wrong people to find it. However, she doesn’t do that and meets with Mira, telling her what she is going through, allowing them to connect. The library serves as a place of acceptance in contrast to the strict, domineering nature of “home.”
While Riley and Val bond more and their romance deepens, with Riley even coming over for a sleepover at Val’s house, everything goes downhill after David accidentally witnesses (see page 199) Riley and Val kiss and snitches on them, betraying Val, and causing her a world of hurt. He did not have to expose her like that, but it shows that no one in the family can be trusted, how the propaganda can get to anyone, even her brother, who watches pirated anime. It is later revealed, on pages 201 to 202 that her parents found her “queer books” and sketches Riley did of her, even though she had been so careful, believing she was right to be paranoid. Her email password is changed, she is banned from using the computer and the kicker: she is “not allowed to go to the library anymore” and they return her library books, while her secret stolen book (The One Stop) is literally burned on a grill, and set on fire.
Of course, this sends Val into a spiral and depression, with her parents prohibiting her from speaking to Riley. She lashes out at Hannah, understandably, who claims she has to repent and repeats the same cultish viewpoint, even willing to cut ties with Val, showing she has lost to the propaganda. She later gets money from Mrs. Batra, and goes to a bookshelf, where she hides the money in an old encyclopedia (pages 207-209), and she later lashes out at David, who claims he is questioning things, even though he turned her in. She also notes that when she snuck books from the library and googled the conservative canon, she realized how problematic the books she had were, how racist they were (pages 213-214). In a heartbreaking scene, after she turns down the arranged date between her and Andrew Patterson, she says, on page 216:
…Screaming in frustration, I throw myself into my closet and pull the accordion door shut. And there, in the dark, without a single friendly book to comfort me, I cry.
Chapter 28 is when the library gets to chine once more, with Val taking money from Mrs. Batra, and running to the library, going through the woods, and refusing to marry Andrew, no matter what, and is determined to contact Riley. She logs into the computer, but her parents changed her password, then creates another account, and desperately writes a message to Riley, but not Mira, as she doesn’t want her parents to find out (see page 219). She gets back just in time and no one is the wiser. Chapter 29 is the key chapter not because Val works for Mrs. Batra again, but because she goes to the library, or because she is nervous to talk to the librarian who helped her before (she thinks he has “more recommendations for queer books with discreet covers”), and she gets what she was hoping for (see page 225). There’s a message from Val, saying she will pick her up on February 1st, and Val responds she will be ready.
For the next two weeks she plays “by the rules,” takes her Bible study seriously, and everything else, to allay any suspicion. She is able to leave, despite her dad being furious at her, but her mother, unexpectedly is a bit of an ally of sorts, and she gets away. She gets her sort-of happily-ever-after with Riley, as they live together, even if money is tight, away from the cult-like atmosphere. Toward the end of the book, Val notes that she bikes to the local library, reads, and begins to write a bit (see pages 241-242), and her mom helps her get the documents she needs, while in her own way she is supportive.
In the final part of this book includes resources, a reading guide, and an interview with the author. In the second of these is a question noting that Val’s turning point is when she picks up One Last Stop from the library, and another asks what role the library played in Val’s “journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance” (pages 247-248). In the third of these parts of what constitutes the book’s appendix, Naudus notes that during her childhood, books and reading were a “huge escape” with her getting in trouble for reading when she was supposed to be praying, adding that seeing yourself in a story is “like looking into a mirror,” and notes her inspirations, what queer joy means to her, and more (see pages 249 to 253).
I’ve written about theft, acceptance, and library as a place of refuge time and again on this blog, even linking some of the above here. I like how the library is shown as not a neutral place, but instead a place of knowledge. It provides Val with the information she needs to learn more about her surroundings, about her world, away from restrictions imposed on her. This is why Kendra Winchester of Book Riot called, in a review back in June 2024, this book a “love letter to libraries and the freedom they represent for their patrons,” adding that “without the books she reads at the library, she might never have been able to imagine a different future for herself.”
The role of the library in spreading knowledge, even that which challenges orthodoxies, is why some have began book bans and even some have burned books they have hated, not wanting anyone else to have that knowledge. They find that knowledge is dangerous because it challenges their worldview. This is why it is so important to protect libraries, whether academic, special, public, or otherwise, from attack by governments, individuals, and groups.
© 2025-2026 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.
#abusiveRelationships #arson #AsianAmerican #bookBurning #books #Bookshop #censorship #Christianity #cults #family #GayThePrayAway #informationProvider #lateBooks #lesbians #LGBTQ #librariesAreContested #librariesAreNotNeutral #libraryAsRefuge #libraryProperty #maleLibrarians #misogyny #OneLastStop #propaganda #quiet #reading #religion #restrictions #socialMedia #TaiwanesePatrons #theft #WhiteMen #WiFi -
“A haven” and place of knowledge: The key role of libraries and librarians in “Gay the Pray Away”
“Valerie Danners is in a cult. She just doesn’t know it yet. But when she stumbles upon a queer romance novel at the library, everything about her life—centered around a fundamentalist Christian homeschooling group —is thrown into question.”- Book’s official description on Penguin Random House, to give an example of what got me into this book.
Last year, I noted that I purchased a book during a sale of Pride-themed books on Bookshop and came across a book by Natalie Naudus entitled Gay the Pray Away. One of the key protagonists of this novel, Valerie Danners comes across a queer romance novel at the local library and begins, plus her coming across a new girl in town named Riley, that turns her world upside down. In my post the, I noted that libraries and knowledge are key to the book, with librarians supportive of her learning more about queer people, likely even letting her take the aforementioned queer romance book with her, and pointing out, how at one point, her restrictive parents do not allow her to go to the library. Their reasoning is simple: they know that the information there goes against the teachings of the Christian fundamentalist cult she is a part of. In this post I’ll expand on that and talk about more of the themes in this queer young adult romance novel and connect it to my previous posts.
Libraries and knowledge are key to this book even from the first chapter. Valerie, who is half-Asian/multiracial/biracial is performing and acting like she is a reactionary bible-thumper like her parents, who have been pulled into a misogynistic cult (she doesn’t realize the extent of this at the time) led by a White man. She goes to the library, despite her “friend” Hannah telling her that she can use the approved Bible encyclopedia (which only allows people to see certain information) but she resists the words of her “friend.” She later convinces her parents, with her mom from Taiwan and her dad a White man from the U.S., to bring her to the library, which she calls a quiet “haven” (see page 16) so she can do “some research” for her school paper, claiming she wants to read a Sean Hannity book (a lie). She acts like she is going there to do research but she actually wants to go to the young adult section, so she can lose herself in fantasy. She explains how she was once at a protest against a book deemed “sinful” with her mother, and how she lives to read, with what she says on page 17 making clear what’s she going through:
Every change I get, I’m tucked in my closet, devouring anything [to read] I can get my hands on. My life and world feel so small and strict and cold. I see the same people all the time who believe the same things, dress the same, talk the same, look the same. But books? Books are my escape.
She soon comes across a book by queer non-binary romance novelist Casey McQuiston, named One Last Stop, flips/zooms through it when her mom isn’t looking, calling it a “forbidden” book (since it is gay), but says it looks “pretty and joyful,” and steals the book, tucking it into her skirt. A librarian, a White man with glasses, accidentally crashes his book cart into a shelf, and while she thinks she will get caught as the alarm goes off, the librarian says it isn’t an issue, adding that their system is buggy and tells her to have a nice day. She places the book she had into the bottom of her backpack while in the bathroom, and lies to her mom about what happened. Going forward, it is an open question as to whether the librarian knew she had the book or not, which is something open to interpretation.
Going into the second chapter, she hides the book so she can hide this “contraband,” while putting on a good face, and kept in this sort of prison, even thinking that her brother David is a sort of ally (I’ll get to that later too). It is interesting that she sees her closet as a place where she is safe (likely inferring to the closet that queer people find themselves in before coming out) and it is where she rips off the cover of the book, throws it in the toilet, and adds a post-it note to it, if it is found. This paranoia is part of her daily life, where she is being watched and controlled, with her parents limiting information (there’s no Wi-Fi and the her brother’s bedroom was removed), she hides this book behind others, so it can’t be found, and her brother watches pirated anime, as she knows full well.
With all of this, it is no surprise that she hates the “approved” books about motherhood and being a “godly woman,” because who would like those books? She sees fantasy as a way of escape and reads One Last Stop all night learning about words like queer and bisexual (one reviewer noted that she is implied as bisexual) and sees the world of gay and queer people as joyful, warm, and fun. This contrasts with the controlling attitude of her mother and father which is abusive in more ways than one. While it is a while before she returns to the library or talks about the “secret stolen book” (One Last Stop) as she briefly calls it in Chapter 4, she does come across one more person who changes her life: a girl her age named Riley. She instantly falls for her, with Riley helping break the mindset which is holding her in this terrible situation. The same goes for her talking to Mira (formerly Miriam) who shakes her mindset.
In fact, it isn’t until chapter 7 that the aforementioned book appears again, with Valerie noting she has been “reading, rereading, and re-rereading” the book, while smiling, and begging to ride her bike to the library herself, where she, goes in, as she puts on page 59, and continues on page 60, saying specifically:
“…the farthest corner, in the cubicle with the computer facing the wall and my seat facing the entrance, I get on the internet. With one eye on the entrance in case someone comes in, I start with L and read my way through articles on the GBTQIA and the +. I read articles by the Episcopalians…about homosexuality and the Bible, and how the conservative ideology I’ve been taught is not universally accepted…[later] I’m back at the library. I google every “dangerous liberal doctrine” I can remember being trashed in sermons and lectures…I read about feminism, intersectional feminism, Kimberle Crenshaw, and critical race theory.”
She goes onto note how her parents censor the home internet, review the search history she and her brother go through, and question them about sites they visit. She says she feels “drunk with the sheer power of knowledge” from the library, which she calls the “unregulated wilds.” As the chapter goes on, she comes across the same librarian as before, who wears a sweater, who encourages her to take a queer book, noting it has a “super discreet cover.” As the book goes on, Riley and Valerie “Val” get closer, with Riley helping puncture Val’s impression of the restrictive situation she is in, as she slowly realizes she is in a cult after all.
Sometime later, Val notes, on page 87, she gets lost in books in the library and even smells them, kisses Riley (they both kiss one another various times), and admits she “stole a book from the library” (page 112). The latter surprises Riley, who likely sees her as rebellious. Beyond more chapters showing the insidious of this cult and the forced male-female courting pushed onto boys and girls, she goes to the library over and over, saying she read “every gay book” she could find, whether about critical race theory, her rights, abortion, and more, while appearing submissive to her parents (page 126). She even gets a hidden message, through email, that Riley sent her, hidden within a chemistry paper, sending messages back and forth in the document (pages 140-141), while on the library computer. She continues doing this, while she claims she is studying (page 157), delivers books to Mrs. Miller from her mom.
The library serves as a place Val can be free without parental permission, where she can be herself (see pages 168-170 for instance). She even creates a secret Instagram account where she sees a picture of another girl kissing her cousin, Mira, on the side of the face, and begins a correspondence with her, asking for her help. As noted in the rest of the chapter, she makes clear she is so paranoid that she wants to log into Instagram, delete her messages, even her account, noting wanting the wrong people to find it. However, she doesn’t do that and meets with Mira, telling her what she is going through, allowing them to connect. The library serves as a place of acceptance in contrast to the strict, domineering nature of “home.”
While Riley and Val bond more and their romance deepens, with Riley even coming over for a sleepover at Val’s house, everything goes downhill after David accidentally witnesses (see page 199) Riley and Val kiss and snitches on them, betraying Val, and causing her a world of hurt. He did not have to expose her like that, but it shows that no one in the family can be trusted, how the propaganda can get to anyone, even her brother, who watches pirated anime. It is later revealed, on pages 201 to 202 that her parents found her “queer books” and sketches Riley did of her, even though she had been so careful, believing she was right to be paranoid. Her email password is changed, she is banned from using the computer and the kicker: she is “not allowed to go to the library anymore” and they return her library books, while her secret stolen book (The One Stop) is literally burned on a grill, and set on fire.
Of course, this sends Val into a spiral and depression, with her parents prohibiting her from speaking to Riley. She lashes out at Hannah, understandably, who claims she has to repent and repeats the same cultish viewpoint, even willing to cut ties with Val, showing she has lost to the propaganda. She later gets money from Mrs. Batra, and goes to a bookshelf, where she hides the money in an old encyclopedia (pages 207-209), and she later lashes out at David, who claims he is questioning things, even though he turned her in. She also notes that when she snuck books from the library and googled the conservative canon, she realized how problematic the books she had were, how racist they were (pages 213-214). In a heartbreaking scene, after she turns down the arranged date between her and Andrew Patterson, she says, on page 216:
…Screaming in frustration, I throw myself into my closet and pull the accordion door shut. And there, in the dark, without a single friendly book to comfort me, I cry.
Chapter 28 is when the library gets to chine once more, with Val taking money from Mrs. Batra, and running to the library, going through the woods, and refusing to marry Andrew, no matter what, and is determined to contact Riley. She logs into the computer, but her parents changed her password, then creates another account, and desperately writes a message to Riley, but not Mira, as she doesn’t want her parents to find out (see page 219). She gets back just in time and no one is the wiser. Chapter 29 is the key chapter not because Val works for Mrs. Batra again, but because she goes to the library, or because she is nervous to talk to the librarian who helped her before (she thinks he has “more recommendations for queer books with discreet covers”), and she gets what she was hoping for (see page 225). There’s a message from Val, saying she will pick her up on February 1st, and Val responds she will be ready.
For the next two weeks she plays “by the rules,” takes her Bible study seriously, and everything else, to allay any suspicion. She is able to leave, despite her dad being furious at her, but her mother, unexpectedly is a bit of an ally of sorts, and she gets away. She gets her sort-of happily-ever-after with Riley, as they live together, even if money is tight, away from the cult-like atmosphere. Toward the end of the book, Val notes that she bikes to the local library, reads, and begins to write a bit (see pages 241-242), and her mom helps her get the documents she needs, while in her own way she is supportive.
In the final part of this book includes resources, a reading guide, and an interview with the author. In the second of these is a question noting that Val’s turning point is when she picks up One Last Stop from the library, and another asks what role the library played in Val’s “journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance” (pages 247-248). In the third of these parts of what constitutes the book’s appendix, Naudus notes that during her childhood, books and reading were a “huge escape” with her getting in trouble for reading when she was supposed to be praying, adding that seeing yourself in a story is “like looking into a mirror,” and notes her inspirations, what queer joy means to her, and more (see pages 249 to 253).
I’ve written about theft, acceptance, and library as a place of refuge time and again on this blog, even linking some of the above here. I like how the library is shown as not a neutral place, but instead a place of knowledge. It provides Val with the information she needs to learn more about her surroundings, about her world, away from restrictions imposed on her. This is why Kendra Winchester of Book Riot called, in a review back in June 2024, this book a “love letter to libraries and the freedom they represent for their patrons,” adding that “without the books she reads at the library, she might never have been able to imagine a different future for herself.”
The role of the library in spreading knowledge, even that which challenges orthodoxies, is why some have began book bans and even some have burned books they have hated, not wanting anyone else to have that knowledge. They find that knowledge is dangerous because it challenges their worldview. This is why it is so important to protect libraries, whether academic, special, public, or otherwise, from attack by governments, individuals, and groups.
© 2025-2026 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.
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