#exvie — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #exvie, aggregated by home.social.
-
[Edit*]An older but ever-relevant of ICSA Today with articles on recovering from sexual abuse in cults, how to communicate with loved ones inside cults, the spread of conspiracy theories in France, and multi-generational cult survivors.
https://library.internationalculticstudies.org/24n7ceh/
[The issue is from 2021, but they emailed around an article from it recently.]
#ReligiousTrauma #cult #cults #exmo #exmormon #exvie #exvangelical #ICSA
-
The ICSA has a journal article about how career counseling can help protect vulnerable kids from trafficking and cults.
Surprise! Poverty increases risk. Having a solid sense of identity helps prevent risk.
Abstract: 'Human trafficking is a rapidly expanding global criminal industry that frequently targets children and adolescents by preying on their vulnerabilities. This article presents research identifying seven categories of susceptibility in Generation Z, with a specific focus on how poverty and low personal achievement increase the risk of being trafficked. The authors propose that career counseling can serve as a vital preventive measure by building self-sufficiency, motivation, and a long-term “career self-concept” that helps youth reject the immediate gratification offered by predators.'
(Sorry, it's Substack.)
https://icsatoday.substack.com/p/could-career-counseling-help-protect
#ReligiousTrauma #cult #cults #exmo #exmormon #exvie #exvangelical
-
Christianity primed white people to feel guilty when certain Pavlovian bells ring.
Accused? Wrongdoing even subtly implied? Guilt! Shame!
Then, if it's a respected authority doing the implying (be it parent or priest), we're primed to submit.
If we don't respect the authority of the "accuser," well, were primed to see them as the enemy in the all-or-nothing good vs evil war. "My authorities haven't called that a sin so who is this person anyway??" And we lash out. At women, POC, queers, disabled, and often, even ourselves.
What, you're white but never were Christian? Sorry, but you were programmed this way, too. (If you feel mad at me, that's the programming.)
Christianity's way out from guilt and shame is impossible. It doesn't work. It's designed to make you feel forever ashamed and in debt to Jesus — or rather, the religious authorities who represent him. That's how they get you.
We aren't allowed to emotionally mature to know how to handle our own feelings when we've done wrong. We're forever dependent children on the religion. We go to confession, do the penitence, feel a few days of relief, then go back to feeling guilty. No matter how well-meaning any particular clergy, this is by design.
Now suddenly here's these people I don't respect out of unexamined implicit bias dumping more crap on me.
Aren't I bad enough? Haven't I submitted enough? What am I supposed to do about it?
I'm hamstringed. My white brain has been lobotomized wrt how to handle this. But also, I've been told by trusted authorities that I'm not a racist, so I'm not!!! Out comes the Karen.
Colonialism=Christianity=Corporatism
It's all the same system.
Freeing ourselves from this system means freeing those whose oppression we enable.
Because it's all the same thing.
#AbuseCulture #ReligiousTrauma #exmo #exmormon #exvie #exvangelical #antiracism #antifa
-
In Mormon news, BYU tried to make an indigenous student cut his braids. So fuck them.
Thankfully, they responded to pushback and now will not make him do that, but I'm sure they will continue to get away with all of their other attempts to control the hairstyles and harmless behaviors of literally everyone else.
(Which is why this issue is a "white" cause as much as it is anyone else's. My Celtic and Germanic ancestors wore long hair in all sorts of styles, and so did yours. Whiteness restricts all of our freedoms.)
#exmo #exmormon #ReligiousTrauma #exvie #exvangelical #antiracism #deconstruction #BYU #LDS #Mormon
-
I'm watching a horror movie in a purity culture setting called Pure. It's fairly good, really liking how they're handling the themes. I feel like it's personal for the director, who's a woman.
It's not a perfect movie. Feels like the director doesn't have much experience with the horror genre. But there's strong talent, just a little raw on the skills, small things that would have made it better.
I still haven't seen the ending. There are some ways I want this to go, and some ways I really hope it doesn't go.
(Previous twoot is not a direct quote, but sums up a speech the pastor is giving.)
[edit: ok that ending was super powerful. We need what happened there to become a recurring motif.]
[Director is Hannah McPherson. She didn't experience purity culture, but is real mad about it. https://deadline.com/2019/09/pure-director-if-youre-not-pissed-off-you-may-be-a-lost-cause-1202742568/ ]
#movieReview #horror #ReligiousTrauma #exmo #exmormon #exvie #exvangelical #feminism
-
CW: SA within cult contexts, Epstein, Rome
Further, I recently watched bible scholar Dan McClellan talk about homosexuality in biblical times. It' a subject I have seen him and others talk about before, and I've read about it. (But I am not an expert on ancient history – I'm just repeating.)
Fact: In Roman society and before, when Leviticus was being written, they didn't have any concept of "sexual orientation" the way we do today. They didn't have the concept of consent. They centered sexual mores around the hierarchy of power. Anyone up on the chain was expected to take the penetrative role; anyone below them was expected to take the receptive role. Anyone who violated these hierarchies was sexually immoral.
Free men with status? Top of the chain. Boys or men of low status? Below that. Women, at the very, very bottom, always. The sin was in penetrating someone who was supposed to, themselves, be in the penetrative role.
The Sodom and Gomorrah story was about a people who had been taught to care for strangers who instead wanted to rape a (male) guest to death. Which violated two mores: Hospitality and the chain of status wrt to the penetrative role. That's why it was perfectly ok for Lot to offer his daughters, and why the gang didn't want *girls*. They wanted to demonstrate their power by taking on men of station.
What does this mean in this context? It means that sexual domination has long been a part of how power works in human civilizations, at least in these cultures that descend from that place in those times.
We, here today, with our consent norms and our idea of love and equality in relationships, we're the odd ones. We've bucked the norms. (A tremendous accomplishment that took thousands of years.) And those norms *still exist.* They exist within toxic masculinity, pro-patriarchy religions, and abusive relationships.
It is hard for me to believe that the Epstein Class of today is somehow worse than the Fat Cats of the 1920s, or the aristocracy of the Renaissance, or the lords and monks of the Middle Ages.
We're really not that far descended from Rome. The path to liberation has been carved against these longstanding traditions.
We have only to look at the world billionaires are trying to create, to see what their values and expectations are.
And why they admire Rome so much.
🧵
#ReligiousTrauma
#exmo
#exmormon
#PTSD
#cults
#exvie
#exvangelical
#abuseCulture
#SexualAssault -
CW: SA within cult contexts, Epstein
I've recently commented on Epstein probably not being the first of his kind, that his market for sex victims already existed, and that the sexual abuse of minors and the marginalized as a recreational activity for the rich and powerful likely goes way, way back. And I got a little bit of pushback.
But this is my world, this cult stuff. And if this has been going on in new sex cults like NXIVM, and secretly in old established religions like Catholicism, in Mormonism, in evangelicalism (it is), the why the hell wouldn't the richest, most powerful people in the world have done this going back across time?
Why are we holding dead billionaires to an idealized image? Why are we defending them? Why are we *still* bending over backwards to suspend disbelief that the worst people in the world in every other regard are somehow pure when it comes to sexual abuse?
🧵
#ReligiousTrauma
#exmo
#exmormon
#PTSD
#cults
#exvie
#exvangelical #AbuseCulture #SexualAssault -
CW: SA within cult contexts, kink
New paper on sexual conditioning within cults just dropped. This article sums up the paper for a lay audience.
https://icsatoday.substack.com/p/dominance-and-submission-the-psychosexual
I am so relieved that highly respected cult researchers are finally backing up conclusions I suspected early in my own research:
- C-PTSD isn't just about trauma, it's about conditioned reactions and beliefs.
- Oppressive high-demand religious institutions condition followers to accept sexual abuse, or be the one to dish it out.
- Religious control of sexual bodies doesn't just prime one for abuse. It is itself a form of sexual abuse. It is at least as bad to manipulate a person into having children she doesn't want as it is to traditionally abuse her.
- What I say next may be controversial, but this research implies it, and I've suspected this since I joined the kink scene of my own free will first thing after leaving Mormonism: Sexual submissiveness can be a result of being reared in a high-demand religious environment, even if as adults we joyously consent as bottoms outside of the original religious framework. (I also think Dom/sub alignment is partly biological.)
Excerpts:
"This article is foundational because it frames sexual exploitation as structurally embedded in coercive systems, not merely the misconduct of individual leaders."
...
"Cult leaders quickly recognize that controlling the sexual and intimate lives of their followers provides a massive source of power. In Lalich’s analysis, sexual domination is not merely one abuse among many — it is the final stage of objectification within an authoritarian system.
"This exploitation ranges from strict rules regarding marriage and procreation to more overt abuses like arranged marriages and forced sexual activity. By controlling the most intimate aspects of life, the leader ensures there is no private sphere beyond his reach."
...
"One of Lalich’s most important contributions is her direct challenge to the notion of consent within cult environments. Because cults are structured around extreme power imbalances, genuine consent cannot exist. Members are conditioned through fear of expulsion, spiritual threats, peer pressure, and dependency on the leader for identity and belonging."
...“Because of the power imbalance between leader and followers, sexual contact is never truly consensual and is likely to have damaging consequences for the follower.”
...
"Shame, guilt, and self-blame persist long after exit. The leader’s ideology continues to shape the survivor’s internal narrative. Recovery therefore requires dismantling both the sexual trauma and the ideological manipulation that sustained it."
...
"At one post-cult recovery workshop, 40% of women present reported having been sexually abused in their cult (p. 7). Lalich suggests this number likely underestimates the true prevalence based on her own clinical observations. The silence surrounding sexual exploitation, she argues, is itself part of the problem."
–
I believe this is true even in (especially in) sex-negative environments. We pointed this out in the book I just wrote. If sex is shrouded in secrecy and shame, victims are unable to understand what they are going through, and unable to report it.🧵 ?
#ReligiousTrauma #exmo #exmormon #PTSD #cults #exvie #exvangelical #abuseCulture #SexualAssault
-
Christian apologists should be like, "Oh, yeah, we're really sorry about that. That isn't right. We're gonna fix that right away."
-
🎶freedom's just another word
for nothing left to lose🎶#solarpunk #exmo #exmormon #ReligiousTrauma #exvie #exvangelical #USPol #Antifa #resist #humanism #atheism
-
There definitely seems to be a vibe shift. From powerlessness and helplessness to empowerment and determination
I'm not the only one. And it's not just here on Mastodon.
Nothing is forever. No trend continues ever upward. We're learning the skills and fortitude we need. We're self-organizing against the shape that collective trauma has forced us into.
This too shall pass.
Then imagine the world we'll be able to build with the momentum.
#exmo #exmormon #ReligiousTrauma #exvie #exvangelical #USPol #Antifa #resist #humanism #atheism
-
And about a year, (I'll have to do some birthday math) I will have been out of the Mormon church for as long as I was in.
-
The ICSA has been working hard to better support former cult members and those who have loved ones stuck in cults. Here's their newsletter recapping their updated website and revamped services.
I've been an ICSA member for many years. It's a very small academic organization that also welcome lay people who have had life experiences with cults. They've been around (under various names) for many decades, originally the publishers of Cultic Studies Journal, which is now split across several publications under various names. I've spoken about Mormonism at their conferences and met people with all kinds of backgrounds.
Their resources include: an academic journal, a magazine for lay people, conferences, a directory of helping professionals, and a back catalogue of all their past publications.
I'm glad to see them becoming more active and increasing their outreach.
#cults #ReligiousTrauma #ICSA #exmo #exmormon #exvie #exvangelical
-
This is a long way to say: If you don't understand the effects of cognitive dissonance, and don't unpack your own internal contradictions, you can be more easily manipulated into behaviors and beliefs you would not *consciously* agree with.
If you like free agency and are a big fan of free will, this is the sort of thing you need to work on.
#philosophy
#atheism
#theism
#exvangelical
#exvie
#exmormon
#exmo
#ReligiousTrauma
#AbuseCulture -
Theological concepts like "The Problem of Evil" aren't just atheist gotchas. The contradictions within certain theologies can exist unawares within the minds of believers, causing dissonance that comes out in ways that perpetuate and allow harms to continue.
For instance, even if a Christian believer has not consciously considered the Problem of Evil, they will still feel this contradiction whenever it is encountered:
1. God is good.
2. God is omnipotent.
3. God allows evil to exist.They will have many sideways methods of resolving this discomfort, which will vary from person to person and from situation to situation.
They may, for instance, lean on Just World views (the feeling that the world is automatically fair and so if someone is disadvantaged they must have done something to deserve it) when it comes to LGBTQ issues. God is good, and omnipotent, so if a queer person is suffering, it isn't because their church community has stigmatized them or because church doctrines about God's will are wrong (or further, that God might not exist or might not be good), no it must be proof that being queer is sinful and they deserve their suffering.
This same formula applies in many other areas, including towards abuse victims.
The contradictions within many popular forms of theism are not harmless. They get resolved, usually unconsciously, by organizations and individuals. When they are resolved without mindful consideration of the consequences, people get hurt.
For abusers and powertrippers? This is by design, to their benefit, and more likely to be conscious.
#AbuseCulture #ReligiousTrauma #exmo #exmormon #exvie #exvangelical #theism #atheism #philosophy
-
CW: SA, DV, kink, religious context
That's why I call it grooming. It has all the hallmarks. It normalizes creepy old men snooping into the sex lives of younger people. It normalizes sexual submission to authority and to men. It trivializes seeking approval with regard to sexual acts from men with power.
I wouldn't have put up with any of my abusers and various random sexual assaults my whole life if the LDS Church had not groomed me.
(It's also no mistake that many of us ended up kinky.)
🧵
#ReligiousTrauma
#AbuseCulture
#exmo
#exmormon
#exvie
#exvangelical
#deconstructing -
CW: SA, DV, religious context
And you know what else wasn't consensual when I was a young person in Mormonism?
Going to a much older man and telling him my unauthorized sexual acts, a requirement for getting right with God.
Very 100% sick and NOT CONSENT.
"You are unworthy of God's love, guidance, approval if you do not go to a much older man in authority over you and tell him how you've acted sexually. You will not be able to go 'home' after you die unless you do this thing."
THIS IS SEXUAL ABUSE.
In Mormonism, though, it's totally normal, and righteous, and holy. They run kids as young as 12 through this.
But it's sexual abuse even on adults.
Even though the man I confessed to wasn't a sicko, and he treated me well, didn't want to know many details, it was still abusive because I did not consent. I was coerced.
... but many of them are sickos.
A higher ranking guy I got later, when I wasn't repenting, just wanting access to the Temple, he DID want to know details even though I'd repented and was supposed to have been wiped clean!
And my experience of ecclesiastical sexual abuse was light compared to some I've heard accounted.
🧵
#ReligiousTrauma
#AbuseCulture
#exmo
#exmormon
#exvie
#exvangelical
#deconstructing -
CW: SA, DV
The sexual grooming of ultra-conservative religions confuses consent by making you not want something you actually want.
Did I want sex? Yes.
Was I supposed to want sex? No.
So when "lawfully" making out with another person but approaching the line, my internal concept of what I really wanted got all confused. Masturbation? Even worse! Of course I wanted it, but punished myself afterwards, trying to force myself to never do it again.
That confusion lasted well beyond me dumping those beliefs and moving into highly sex-positive communities. It lasted into the relationship with my abuser, where he (also from a conservative religious background) took advantage of my confusion. I was very often confused about whether I wanted sex, or certain types of sex, or sex under certain contexts, at any given time in that relationship.
Many of those occasions I've looked back and saw where I said yes when I meant no. Or where I said yes, and then he changed the circumstances, and I didn't feel "No" was an option.
And more than a few times where I did say no but he pushed me in ways I did not actually want.
And I'm sure he knew that. That was part of his game. Sometimes things happen out of miscommunication, which I thought at the time, but in his case? He knew.
🧵
#ReligiousTrauma #AbuseCulture #exmo #exmormon #exvie #exvangelical #deconstructing
-
Many of us understand that there is one side of the US political spectrum that has turned truly awful, but what a lot of people don't seem to understand is how that got that way and why they are so adament about their beliefs. Of course there are pragmatic reasons (people who are wealthy and in charge of things want to stay that way) but still it is truly astounding that so many people who are not among the category of "rich white men" will still cling to those who probably despise them, or if not them then people they know and maybe even love. There is a person I know who is employed at a public agency and his direct boss is probably the biggest Trump supporter in the building - oh, and she also happens to be a lesbian. How does that make any sense at all, given what Trump and his followers have said they want to do to #lbgtq people?
Well, a big part of it is religion, and in particular the Christian religion. So many of those people have somehow been convinced that to oppose Trump would be to oppose "God's annointed" even though it is obvious to most of us on the outside of their bubble that Trump is not a God-fearing man, and would probably be among the first to have Jesus shot to death if he ever came back.
But step back a bit - where did this idea of just unconditionally obeying a "man of god" come from in the first place? Well, that is certainly nothing new, after all the early church required its followers to obey the Pope and all the bishops and cardinals and priests and so on. But where did that ever come from? After all, Jesus for the most part condemned organized religion, especially the scribes and the Pharisees of his day, according to the Bible.
So where did #Christianity go off the rails? Well, for years I have been saying that it's because Christians, and especially modern #evangelicals, stopped following the teachings of Jesus a long time ago. Sure, they pay lip service to him and pray to him, but for the most part they follow the instructions found in the writings of the "apostle" Paul. And that is a real problem, because Paul was probably just as deluded ans any guy who's ever started his own cult or sect that is loosely based on Christianity. There are many cults that use the Bible AND other writings (but mostly the "other" writings) as the basis of their religion, the only difference is that the extra writings of Paul (and possibly others who used his name) got included in Biblical canon by the early church. But that doesn't mean they are writings that Jesus would have in any way approved of. In fact, there are cases where Paul's writings directly contradict the teachings of Jesus. Here's a good video on the topic:
7 Times Paul Contradicted Jesus
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNDsaPoeuzkWhy is this important? Because most of the hate you see coming from the so-called "religious right" is not a part of their religion if you leave out Paul (and also the old testament, but that's another discussion). I have said before, they seem to love conspiracy theories, and you could make a great conspiracy theory that the early church included Paul's writings in the Bible even though they knew he was a "false christ" because if you wanted to control the masses and make them subserviant to the church hierarchy, teaching only the words of Jesus simply would not do. But if you wanted to replace the Christian religion with something that was in many ways the polar opposite of what Jesus taught, then Paul was your guy. And that is as true today as it was hundreds of years ago, and it is the reason so many Christians are deluded about who God has chosen to lead them (and yes, I realize they are to some degree deluded because they want to be, because the delusion reinforces their prejudices and their hatred of those who are not like them). But when they try to stand on their religion as justification for what they believe or do, maybe it is worth asking which religion they are talking about, the one taught by Jesus or the probably totally fabricated version made up by Paul?
EDIT: Here's one more (this reminds me of some dishonest preachers):
The Dishonest Apostle | Was Paul Caught in a Lie?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9wGNsRCiTTY#biblecontradictions #deconstructionism #exvangelical #counterapologetics #USpol #ReligiousTrauma #ptsd #ChristianNationalism #Christofascism #deconstructing #evangelicalism #postchristian #postchristianity #exchristian #EmptyThePews #exvie #AbuseCulture #politics #mysogyny #homophobia #racism
-
"That’s why the campaign itself is destined to stop short of reaching the audiences it’s trying to target. Its targets on the left are wary of the sort of hollow proselytizing that claims to love the sinner while casting their intrinsic identity as something sinful. And its targets on the right are too busy viewing those on the left as something sinful to truly consider what it might mean to love them."
#exmo #ExMormon #lgbtq #exvie #exvangelical #deconstructing #ReligiousTrauma #Christianity #USpol #HeGetsUs