#anthrax — Public Fediverse posts

"New Anthrax song when?"

BREAKING NEWS: Anthrax will release their long-awaited 12th album, Cursum Perficio, on Sept. 18, marking their first full-length studio effort in over a decade. They'll preview the album with lead single "It's for the Kids," which arrives this Friday (May 15).

#metal #thrash #music #Anthrax #shred

https://loudwire.com/anthrax-new-album-new-song-2026/

Today I’m spinning one of the best thrash metal albums ever: Anthrax “Among the Living.”

Compositionally, it’s probably the best. At least the most sophisticated. A lot of metal bands in the late 80s followed an album recipe. Many followed song recipes as well. But Anthrax composed songs like symphonies.

Also, it’s just rad.

https://www.discogs.com/master/42920-Anthrax-Among-The-Living

#Music #Metal #Anthrax #ThrashMetal #OldSchool

🇺🇦 #NowPlaying on #KEXP's #Early

Public Enemy feat. Anthrax:
🎵 Bring tha Noize

#PublicEnemy #Anthrax

https://open.spotify.com/track/5BiuxSuxOZ9CcQ6SqICsDv

Thrash—my first love. Before I worshipped at the altars of black and death, my masters cloaked themselves in denim and set my soul on fire with aggressive speed, snotty rebellion, and fist-pumping anthems. Like 2016, the godfathers of thrash have already made the last twelve months a resurgence of the old school, with varying degrees of success.1 Newer acts have also made a splash, with Cryptic Shift and Zerre wickedly pummeling our poor score counter into requesting early retirement.2 2026 at large betrays no signs of relenting, and thankfully, neither does thrash. Ten years after dropping their 2016 debut, The Unholy Trinity, California’s Nukem reemerges with sophomore effort The Grave Remains. After such a long incubation period, does Nukem prove that they have what it takes to claw out from the grave?

Despite forming in 2012, Nukem oozes classic thrash spunk by blurring Bay Area melody with East Coast attitude and gang vocals. Death Angel, Nuclear Assault, and Overkill3 influences punctuate The Grave Remains’ twelve tracks, although flashes of a dozen other bands course through Nukem’s veins. Guitarist/vocalist Steve Brogden’s snarls remind me of Warbringer’s John Kevill mixed with a more pissed-off Mark Osegueda, delivering serrated crossover barks with conviction. Rob Cavestany even makes a guest appearance on “Into the Kill Zone,” cementing the Death Angel frame of reference. Exodus staples Gary Holt and Lee Altus also sling some riffs on “Empress of Evil” and “Don’t Believe a Word” respectively, the latter of which is a Thin Lizzy cover. In total, Nukem blends a multitude of inspirations into a confluence of so many thrash wellsprings that they precipitate a voice at once familiar and distinct.

The Grave Remains by Nukem

Nukem plays infectiously fun thrash that overflows with shout-along choruses and a bass tone so plump and meaty that it quickly became my favorite aspect of The Grave Remains. Brogden’s guitars flit, chug, and cajole throughout the forty-nine minutes, yet bassist Don Lauder steals the spotlight time and again. From the slinky rumble in “Unconditional Surrender” to the coquettish interplay in “Empress of Evil,” Lauder’s bass bounces and parades with low-end jubilance. “Torture, Murder, Mutilate!” and “Random Acts of Violence” further emphasize the bass while showcasing Nukem’s six-string attack, with Xander Gambini augmenting Brogden’s core. Additionally, ex-Nukem axe-wielder (and current Dark Angel guitarist) Laura Christine joins her former bandmates and Gary Holt on “Empress of Evil,” while “Random Acts of Violence” includes an appearance from Russ Tippins (Satan and Tanith). Drummer Norm Leggio rounds out the rhythm section, ably pounding out rolls, fills, and tight rhythms in support of Nukem’s well-crafted performances.

Nukem executes thrash with the eager verve of a hungry up-and-comer, but a couple of missteps limit The Grave Remains’ ceiling. While the riffs are fine when experienced in isolation, as a whole, they often lack the hooks or memorability to distinguish themselves from one another. The Grave Remains shines brightest during bass performances and rousing choruses, but those two alone can’t support an entire thrash album. This issue wouldn’t be as glaring if the track lengths were shaved down, but as-is, only two songs (besides needless instrumentals) stay under the four-minute mark, and one of those is a cover. Repeat spins reinforce the opportunity to trim thirty to sixty seconds off several tracks, which would help punch up The Grave Remains and leave listeners craving MOAR. On a positive note, the production glows with a well-balanced mix that supplies ample room for each instrument, and Nukem’s earnest embrace of head-banging gusto guarantees I’m never having a bad time.

Ultimately, Nukem offers a classic thrash platter with a few blemishes I can see, yet easily look past. The Grave Remains won’t change the landscape of the genre, but fans will find plenty to enjoy, and despite the melting pot of references, Nukem manages to claim their spot within thrash’s wing of the metalsphere. Songs like “Unconditional Surrender” and “Curse of the Devil’s Bible” are welcome earworms that have found homes in my playlists, and I look forward to the next time Nukem asks us to come get some.

Rating: Good
DR: 8 | Format Reviewed: 320 kbps mp3
Label: Redefining Darkness Records
Websites: Bandcamp | Facebook
Releases Worldwide: April 10th, 2026

https://www.europesays.com/be-nl/42160/ Anthrax en Sepultura aan de Limburgse vlaai? Maastrichts festival maakt het mogelijk #Amusement #ANTHRAX #BE #België #Belgium #BOKKERIJDERS #Entertainment #Festival #HALESTORM #HELDEN #LIMBURG #megadeth #Music #Muziek #muziekgieterij #NIENABOCKEN #SEPULTURA #SOUTHOFHEAVEN #VLAAI

https://www.europesays.com/nl/?p=182283 Anthrax en Sepultura aan de Limburgse vlaai? Maastrichts festival maakt het mogelijk #Amusement #ANTHRAX #BOKKERIJDERS #Dutch #Entertainment #festival #HALESTORM #HELDEN #Limburg #megadeth #Music #Muziek #muziekgieterij #Nederland #Nederlanden #Nederlands #Netherlands #NIENABOCKEN #NL #sepultura #SOUTHOFHEAVEN #vlaai

https://www.europesays.com/be-nl/42072/ Anthrax en Sepultura aan de Limburgse vlaai? Maastrichts festival maakt het mogelijk #Amusement #ANTHRAX #BE #België #Belgium #BOKKERIJDERS #Entertainment #Festival #HALESTORM #HELDEN #LIMBURG #megadeth #Music #Muziek #muziekgieterij #NIENABOCKEN #SEPULTURA #SOUTHOFHEAVEN #VLAAI

https://www.europesays.com/nl/?p=182171 Anthrax en Sepultura aan de Limburgse vlaai? Maastrichts festival maakt het mogelijk #Amusement #ANTHRAX #BOKKERIJDERS #Dutch #Entertainment #festival #HALESTORM #HELDEN #Limburg #megadeth #Music #Muziek #muziekgieterij #Nederland #Nederlanden #Nederlands #Netherlands #NIENABOCKEN #NL #sepultura #SOUTHOFHEAVEN #vlaai

Aufdrehen! Mithüpfen!

https://song.link/y/YhpAcD8HI2g

#Anthrax #PublicEnemy

This year has already kicked off in thrash-tastic fashion. We’ve seen new releases from the likes of Megadeth, Exodus, and Kreator, with Anthrax and more on the way. A quick check of my thrash bingo card shows that, by the end of the year, at least half of the “Big 4”1 will have dropped new records, with many of the honorable-mention heavyweights joining the fray. While we wait for the next boot to drop, we turn our attention to Würzburg, Germany’s Zerre, one of modern thrash’s promising upstarts. Their debut, Scorched Souls, was a Metallica-meets-Municipal Waste slab of old-school aggression loaded with crossover, beer-chugging grooves. Taking the foundations of their debut, Rotting on a Golden Throne finds Zerre tearing through nine tracks with a sharpened sense of purpose—more aggressive, more political, and more sadistic than its predecessor. And let me tell you, it delivers in spades. I hope you’re thirsty for some tallboys, because thrash is still on the menu.

Forging their songwriting into material that’s meaner, tighter, and far more assured, Rotting on a Golden Throne shines with the violently tempered alloy of classic thrash and modern crossover’s street-level grit that never lets its energy wane. Heavily steeped in Municipal Waste’s party chaos and …And Justice for All’s rapid, surgical picking, Zerre also imbues the album with Power Trip’s coarseness, Anthrax’s stomping swagger (“Killing Taste”) and the frantic wails of Slayer (“No Alibi,” “Deception of the Weak”). Riffs hit in relentless waves, with raw aggression spilling over into massive, replay-ready grooves, while strategically placed interludes are woven directly into the album’s 40-minute runtime rather than sliced off as filler (“Mental Vacation,” “Rotting on a Golden Throne”). This smart choice gives Rotting on a Golden Throne a more cohesive flow and breaks up the record’s accelerated attack just enough to keep things elastic. Zerre delivers it all seamlessly, with a dialed‑up piss‑and‑vinegar attitude that hits you right between the eyes.

Rotting on a Golden Throne by Zerre

Neck-snapping riffs abound on Rotting on a Golden Throne, driven by Zerre’s full-throttle dual axe attack of Dominik Bertelt and Rocco Lepore. The two throw their weight around effortlessly with hyperspeed picking mixed with trilling, power cord syncopations, whammy dives, and a metric ton of technical solos. After the “Battery”-inspired acoustic intro, “Pigs will be Pigs” fires the first shot with blistering runs that give way to a soaring melodic solo, while “Deception of the Weak” counters with sharp twin harmonies and nimble hammer‑ons and pull‑offs. Even the slower approach of “Concrete Hell” packs a punch and “Tin God” seals the deal with a squealing, tapping frenzy that illustrates how purposefully Zerre uses solos—coupled with keen songwriting—to drive the record’s peaks. The Nordic folk lick stretching out into intertwining leads in “Mental Vacation” is also a pleasant surprise, as is the power metal riff in the self-titled track, proving that when these guys branch out of their comfort zone, they do so tastefully and with restraint rather than veering off into left field.

Vocalist Nick Ziska2 brings a feral edge to Zerre’s sound. His performance swings between Tom Araya‑styled screams (“No Alibi”) and a Riley Gale-esque snarling mid‑range, anchoring Rotting on a Golden Throne’s songs with a serrated bark that sounds abrasive and weathered, yet still clear enough to slice through the chaos. Zerre’s songwriting leans heavily on gang vocals, and while they’re a clear fallback move, they inject a sense of rowdy fun that magnifies Ziska’s lyrics and makes the choruses instantly hooky. Ziska takes the lead, and the rest of the crew pile in behind him, creating shout-along moments that demand listener participation. Lyrically, Rotting on a Golden Throne sticks to thrash’s customary grievances—anti-police sentiment, prison system disdain and broad political ire—but these tropes feel less like a crutch and more like part of the total package, reinforcing the album’s scrappy, kinetic energy.

Talking about this album in the staff lounge, our resident Reaper categorized Rotting on a Golden Throne as one of the best straight-up thrash records of the year so far, and I couldn’t agree more. Detractors may point to Zerre’s stylistic touchstones as a mere recombination of established genre language, and while they wouldn’t be wrong, I don’t care. Zerre has dropped an album that embodies everything I want my thrash to be. Rotting on a Golden Throne is bursting with energy, aggression, groove, and a sense of unfiltered fun. It’s a combination that’s hard to find in today’s thrash metal landscape, and it’s one that’s worth raising a beer for.

Rating: Great!
DR: 6 | Format Reviewed: 320 kb/s mp3
Label: Dying Victims Productions
Websites: dyingvictimsproductions.bandcamp.com/album/rotting-on-a-golden-throne | facebook.com/zerre.thrash
Releases Worldwide: March 27th, 2026

When I think about Miami, the first things that come to mind are excellent empanadas, terrible traffic, and Cynic. What doesn’t come to mind is thrash, although I’ve learned that the Magic City has some history in this regard (Solstice). Thrash quintet Acidosis currently resides in Los Angeles, but their own history dates back to a Miami high school in the mid-to-late 2000s, where frontperson Ben Katzman and guitarist Diego Edsel first formed the band. Arrival, Acidosis’s long-gestating debut album, re-records and reimagines songs Katzman, Edsel, and crew first concocted when they were teenagers. Acidosis may lie their heads in La La Land, but the flamingo-pink background and seafoam-green eyelid tentacles adorning that cover clearly aim to put Miami on the thrash map.1

Arrival is a survivor story, in more ways than one. After dissolving Acidosis, Katzman served stints in several other acts and even competed in season 46 of Survivor.2 In reforming the band, Katzman and Edsel enlist the talents of Harry Schwarz (drums), Jonathan Rusten (rhythm guitars), and Deo Budnevich (lead guitars) to create Arrival, a 9-song, 26-minute thrash incursion.3 Acidosis channels Municipal Waste in wasting no time with long songs, favoring crossovery bangers filled with riffs more rambunctious than a pitbull. “Arrival” opens things up with a sly devil, “They Live!” keeps the party going with punk energy, and “Hostile Negotiations” caps nifty pull-offs and speedy power chords with a delicious tag. Later on, Acidosis conjure the classics, with riffing reminiscent of the chromaticism of Megadeth (“Mankind”) and the stomp-age of Anthrax (“Deadly Fits”). I have no idea how much/little these songs have changed since Katzman and crew were in high school, but Arrival’s riffs have survived the test of time.

Arrival by Acidosis

Ben Katzman ultimately supplies the fuel that powers this Miami Thrash Machine. As a vocalist, he sounds like a less shouty, more tuneful Tony Foresta (Municipal Waste). Katzman knows how to implant a titular line in the listener’s head (“Hostile Negotiations,” “Mankind”) and when to throw some anthemic ‘whoas’ into the mix (“They Live!”). As a bassist, he is equally integral to imbuing Acidosis with its unique charm. Whether (re)charing songs with a bass break (“They Live!,” “Where I Stand”) or shredding a low-end solo (“Hostile Negotiations”), Katzman kills it on the four strings, with a tone that is just the right amount of distorted and clangy. Arrival is clearly Katzman’s passion project, and his passion shines throughout.

Alas, no album with roots in Vice City was going to pass without sin. While I appreciate the spirit of succinct songwriting here, some tracks are definitely in need of more flesh. “Hostile Negotiations” is a banger that would benefit from bridge development, and album-closer “Where I Stand” opens with a country western lick that implies scope that isn’t realized. Switching from slothful songwriting to gluttonous album-craft: the interludes are completely unnecessary. Arrival isn’t even ten minutes old before “Interlude” breaks up the thrash action, and “Interlude 2” intervenes after only two more tracks that total less than nine minutes. These interludes, though short, disrupt the energetic pace, lengthening an album that’s chief virtue is its brevity. Arrival also suffers from inconsistent soloing. Edsel and Budnevich trade off on many of these tracks, revealing that one of these shredders is stronger than the other. Unfortunately, there are several moments where uncontrolled guitar wrath rears its ugly head, with solos sounding like they’re struggling (“Mankind,” “Deadly Fits”).

Having hypocritically cast my critical stones, I will say that none of these sins are deadly. The long-awaited Arrival of Acidosis is a fun time, certainly worth a 26-minute investment from thrashers and metalheads more broadly. Acidosis play a familiar style with no real innovation, but they stamp it with their own personality, much of which stems from Katzman’s presence as a frontman and essential bassist. Add Acidosis to the list of things I positively associate with Miami—I’ll scope out the line if and when they serve up their next platter of thrash turnovers.

Rating: 3.0/5.04
DR: 7 | Format Reviewed: 320 kbps mp3
Label: Self-Released
Websites: Bandcamp | Facebook
Releases Worldwide: March 27th, 2026

Way back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1

Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound

Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!

Day One: The Aclimationing

After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!

As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.

From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.

Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).

Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.

Day Two: Any Port in the Storm

Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.

We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!

From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.

From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!

After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.

Day Three: Arctic Winds

Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.

80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.

After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3

Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.

Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.

From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.

After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!

Day Four: Survive and Endure

As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.

After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.

Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.

One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.

As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.

In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.

The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.

Final Thoughts:

70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.

Funniest Moment:

-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.

-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.

Bands We Missed:

Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.

Biggest Gripe:

The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.

Biggest Surprise:

I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!

Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.

Post Ship Depression Syndrome:

It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.

Way back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1

Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound

Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!

Day One: The Aclimationing

After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!

As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.

From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.

Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).

Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.

Day Two: Any Port in the Storm

Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.

We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!

From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.

From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!

After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.

Day Three: Arctic Winds

Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.

80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.

After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3

Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.

Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.

From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.

After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!

Day Four: Survive and Endure

As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.

After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.

Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.

One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.

As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.

In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.

The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.

Final Thoughts:

70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.

Funniest Moment:

-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.

-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.

Bands We Missed:

Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.

Biggest Gripe:

The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.

Biggest Surprise:

I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!

Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.

Post Ship Depression Syndrome:

It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.

Way back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1

Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound

Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!

Day One: The Aclimationing

After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!

As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.

From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.

Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).

Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.

Day Two: Any Port in the Storm

Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.

We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!

From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.

From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!

After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.

Day Three: Arctic Winds

Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.

80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.

After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3

Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.

Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.

From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.

After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!

Day Four: Survive and Endure

As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.

After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.

Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.

One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.

As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.

In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.

The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.

Final Thoughts:

70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.

Funniest Moment:

-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.

-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.

Bands We Missed:

Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.

Biggest Gripe:

The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.

Biggest Surprise:

I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!

Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.

Post Ship Depression Syndrome:

It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.

Way back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1

Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound

Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!

Day One: The Aclimationing

After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!

As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.

From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.

Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).

Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.

Day Two: Any Port in the Storm

Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.

We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!

From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.

From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!

After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.

Day Three: Arctic Winds

Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.

80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.

After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3

Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.

Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.

From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.

After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!

Day Four: Survive and Endure

As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.

After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.

Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.

One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.

As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.

In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.

The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.

Final Thoughts:

70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.

Funniest Moment:

-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.

-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.

Bands We Missed:

Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.

Biggest Gripe:

The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.

Biggest Surprise:

I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!

Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.

Post Ship Depression Syndrome:

It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.

Way back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of lifestyle. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1

Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound

Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to sunny Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our hometown on Long Island. This scrambled all the central and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!

Day One: The Aclimationing

After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!

As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the first series of drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a cool way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.

From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we ducked out to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.

Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).

Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.

Day Two: Any Port in the Storm

Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and wewould be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.

We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they took the stage, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!

From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.

From there we beered up and then caught Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to his being confined to his cabin and the band being banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!

After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.

Day Three: Arctic Winds

Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.

80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.

After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3

Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams was performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.

Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through that from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant once again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and they made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that, too.

From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.

After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even dropping in “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!

Day Four: Survive and Endure

As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.

After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.

Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.

One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.

As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.

In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to catch Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.

The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.

Final Thoughts:

70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.

Funniest Moment:

-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.

-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.

Band We Missed:

Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.

Biggest Gripe:

The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.

Biggest Surprise:

I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!

Post Ship Depression Syndrome:

It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.

Death to all but Black Metal. #leprosy #cholera #anthrax

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTacnJzEgRf/?igsh=MWhyY3k1Mmk3YzZxMg==

Death to all but Black Metal. #leprosy #cholera #anthrax

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DTacnJzEgRf/?igsh=MWhyY3k1Mmk3YzZxMg==

https://www.europesays.com/fi/134248/ Thrash metallin uusi aikakausi: nämä albumit täyttävät tänä vuonna 10 vuotta #abbath #AmonAmarth #anthrax #AvengedSevefold #DarkFuneral #DeathAngel #DevinTownsendProject #Entertainment #equilibrium #FI #Finland #Finnish #FleshgodApocalypse #gojira #HeavenShallBurn #insomnium #LostSociety #Megadeth #metallica #moonsorrow #Music #Musiikki #OmniumGatherum #Stam1na #Suomi #testament #viihde #volbeat

Stuck in the Filter: October 2025’s Angry Misses

By Kenstrosity

They say it’s going to be a harsh winter this year. They always say that, and it’s almost never true, at least not from where I’ve set up camp. However, no matter the weather I am a harsh taskmaster, doling out grueling hours, no pay or benefits, and probably the worst coffee on the planet to my dutiful minions. It takes a special kind of person, motivated by pure unadulterated greed to ravenously scour the filter for dusty, almost-forgotten gems like they do.

But we are thankful for them for being exactly that! And we also benefit, in the form of quality(ish) chunks of glimmery, shimmery metal. BEHOLD!

Kenstrosity’s Riffy Representation

Xaoc // Repulsive Summoning [October 31, 2025 – Edgewood Arsenal Records]

Xaoc’s history is one of the more confusing I’ve encountered in my time writing for this blog. After breaking up in 2008, a new lineup spawned in 2022 to record and release Proxime Mortis from the ashes of songs written pre-breakup, supported by Edgewood Arsenal. At some point this year, two more members spawned in anticipation of this new slab Repulsive Summoning. But the band’s labeled as Split Up already on Metallum? I don’t understand what’s going on there, but at least I can say that Repulsive Summoning is a turbo banger! These riffs are bonkers, full of verve and swagger, brimming with groove and muscularity. A happy mix of Vomitory and Dormant Ordeal, this Virginian outfit know how to throw down. Highlights like “Ave Solva Coagula,” “Antima Samskara,” “The Great Perfected Ones,” and the entire “Degenerate Era” three-part suite reduce my body into a fine slurry by the grinding, vicious power of their riffs alone. But the rabid growls, ballistic percussion, and meaty guitar tones contain more than enough fuel to propel those riffs across this tight and thunderous 35-minute runtime. It’s a simple record, built to beat me down and leave me broken and bloodied, but it’s also an effortlessly memorable affair that leaves me wanting more despite the mounting medical bills. Don’t sleep on Xaoc!

Andy-War-Hall’s Succulent Surplus

Canvas of Silence // As the World Tree Fell [October 31st, 2025 – Rockshots Records]

Finnish symphonic metallers Canvas of Silence describe themselves as “prog-influenced chorus metal,” and that description goes far in outlining their debut As the World Tree Fell. Their core sound resembles a progged-out Nightwish moonlighting as a melodeath band, committing ludicrous bombast on symphonic-heavy cuts like “The Great Unknown” and “Wayfarer” amidst a sharp Gothenburg riff attack in “Watching the World Tree Fall” and “Drown.” Canvas of Silence mete out a balanced approach of light and dark sounds between Theocracyesque prog-power (“One With the Wind,” “Humanimal”) and Madder Mortem-like gothic twists (“Drown,” “Anthem for Ashes”), all reined in by the commanding vocal presence of singer Loimu Satakieli.1 Sitting somewhere between Anette Olzon (ex-Nightwish, The Dark Element) and Agnete Kierkevaag (Madder Mortem), her impassioned and heavily-layered singing turns As the World Tree Fell into a smörgåsbord of lush, catchy and anthemic tunes of an uplifting, sing-along nature. Optimism permeates As the World Tree Fell, felt at a fever pitch on the enormous choral bridge of “Humanimal” and the folky power metal jaunt of “One With the Wind.” Even on lyrically dark/mournful passages like “Wayfarer” and “Garden of the Fallen,” Canvas of Silence deliver soaring, hopeful crescendos that at times reach Fellowship levels of good cheer. Canvas of Silence can craft sincerely beautiful moments, and though As the World Tree Fell’s production can be sterile and overly loud2 I am nothing but excited to see what these Finns can cook up next.

Spicie Forrest’s Punky Proferrings

Violent Testimony // Aggravate [October 17th, 2025 – Horror Pain Gore Death Productions]

Do you wish there was more grind in your life? Well, Cheyenne, Wyoming’s Violent Testimony just assumed you would. Combining the punky flair of Napalm Death with the lead foot ethos of early Pig Destroyer and Cattle Decapitation, debut LP Aggravate is 26 minutes of delicious grindy goodness. From the opening salvo of “God Complex Massacre” to the final detonations of “Hit N’ Run,” Violent Testimony shows absolutely no restraint. D.N.’s Gatling drums mow down everything in their path while T.W.’s serpentine bass clears the chaff and flattens any obstruction. Shrapnel propelled by N.Y.’s brutish, breakneck riffing can be seen burying itself in concrete walls, still quivering (“Rider in the Night,” “Psychotic Episode”). Caustic growls and vitriolic screams tear from T.W.’s throat at mach fuck (“Flashbang Celebration,” “Obligatory Manifestation of Infinite Grind”). With only two tracks exceeding the two-minute mark, Violent Testimony screams their piece with as much sound and fury as possible before moving on and picking their next bone with the system. This keeps Aggravate a lean, densely-packed offering. If you need to get pissed off right now and even the fastest death metal is too slow, Violent Testimony is all too happy to decimate the opposition with you.

Uaar // Galger og Brann [October 17th, 2025 – Fysisk Format Records]

Hailing from Oslo, Norway, crust outfit Uaar celebrates their tenth birthday by releasing their debut LP. Galger og Brann, which means “Gallows and Fire” in Norwegian, expands on the foundations laid by established acts like Skitsystem and Tragedy. With one foot firmly planted in black metal and the other in hardcore, Uaar unleashes a cacophony of rage unfettered. D-beats abound, courtesy of Truls Friesl Berg, creating a frantic, enraged atmosphere. Dag Schaug Carlsen’s blackened rasps are so cold they burn, matching the evil pall hanging over tracks like “Galeås” and “Den siste.” Post-flecked, Ancsty tendencies (“Alt Skal Brenne,” “Overalt”) peek through the feral hardcore riffage (“Håpet forsvinner”) of guitarists Erik Berg Friesl and Jon Schaug Carlsen, while bassist Stian S. Evensen provides the muscle to convince you these guys aren’t screwing around. Uaar is well-versed in their base genres, alternating between and mixing black metal and hardcore effortlessly. The occasional blues-tinged heavy metal lead—as in “Overalt” and “Dolken”—keep Galger og Brann from being a one-note affair. With a dearth of standout blackened hardcore releases this year, Uaar’s Galger og Brann is a welcome—if late—addition to the list.

Scorching Tomb // Ossuary [October 24th, 2025 – Time to Kill Records]

I’ll be honest, I’ve never considered Montreal, Canada, to be prime death metal territory. Luckily, Scorching Tomb doesn’t care what I think. Debut LP Ossuary is an aural violation born of Tren-induced hardcore aggression and filthy old school death metal. With a guitar tone (Philippe Lelbanc) like sandpaper and a bass like swallowing gravel (Miguel Lepage), Scorching Tomb plays in the same cesspools as Bloodgutter and Rotpit. We normally associate melted faces with guitar solos, but that honor belongs to whatever corrosive noises issue forth from vocalist Vincent Patrick Lajeunesse’s guts. Drummer Émile Savard loves a blast beat, often detonating them in short bursts to support an already bone-breaking assault (“Feel the Blade”). “Stalagmite3 Impalement” and “Sanctum of Bones (Ossuary)” are particularly savage, with tetanus-inflicting riffs and bloodthirsty screams threatening to drag you into the crypt to be used for meal prep. On “Skullcrush,” Sanguisugabogg’s Devin Swank perfectly matches Scorching Tomb’s vile depravity, cementing them as a promising new act in the scene. Ossuary is raging, muscle-bound, caveman death metal drowned in a vat of viscera and sewage, and it tastes incredible.

ClarkKent’s Gratifying Goodies

Sutratma // Adrift [October 3rd, 2025 – Self-Release]

While I didn’t purposely seek out more doom during my self-imposed month of picking only doom promos, Sutratma’s fifth full-length, Adrift, ranks as one of the better doom albums I listened to in November. This California four-piece has been writing funeral doom for 15 years, and it shows in their ability to craft effective melancholic slow-burns that strike a balance between melody and crushingly heavy. Adrift impresses straight out the gate with the piano-drenched “Wind and Sea.” This song nicely melds the sorrowful softness of the piano with punishing guitar riffs and impressive growls. Just like stalwarts My Dying Bride, Sutratma mixes growls with cleans, and Daniel Larios’s cleans effectively hit you right in the feels while the growls take on a more despairing note. There’s plenty of variety from song to song, with organs stealing the show on “Guiding Star” and a lovely melody on “The Great Bereaver” that builds up to a moving finale. Just like with Oromet, there’s a serenity to the music that is calming, and the skilled songwriting and musicianship lends a poignancy to it all. With the frenzy of list season upon us, it’s nice to have something like this to remind us that it’s okay to just slow down—even when an angry ape is berating you for more content.

Starer // Ancient Monuments and Modern Sadness [October 10th, 2025 – Fiadh Productions]

Josh Hines, the one man behind black metal project, Starer, has been very busy. Since forming Starer in 2020, he has released four EPs and now, with the release of Ancient Monuments and Modern Sadness, four LPs. I first became acquainted with this band on 2023’s Wind, Breeze, or Breath and was taken in by Hines’s aggressively atmospheric take on black metal. Ancient Monuments and Modern Sadness hits the ground running on “I Cry Your Mother’s Blood” with some aggressively catchy melodies. The aggression continues on “Il-Kantilena” with its icy riffs and pumping blast beats. Meanwhile, “The Field of Reeds” combines the black n’ roll of Fell Omen with the fuzzy reverb of atmoblack for a rollicking good time. Hines screams into the void as subdued symphonics add layers of melody, providing a surprising amount of depth to each song. Because of the frenetic pace, the 50-minute runtime flies right by, even as songs like “Song of the Harper” do their best to vary the tempo. For black metal, the production is lush and gorgeous, giving air to all instruments. The epic, ten-minute finale is the culmination of Hines’s ability to put together complex and compelling music that both excites by its aggression and dazzles with its atmospherics. Black metal fans should not miss this one.

Grin Reaper’s Haunted Harvest

Black Cross Hotel // Songs for Switches [October 31st, 2025 – Someoddpilot Records]

Three years after dropping their favorably reviewed debut Hex, keys-drenched and industrialized outfit Black Cross Hotel returns bearing Songs for Switches. 80s-inspired synths, mid-paced chugs, and dance-ready grooves pack neatly into forty-one minutes of grubby fun, sure to interest fans of Ministry and Killing Joke, or anyone with a predilection for leather. Where Hex boasted a wider assortment of tempos, Songs for Switches narrows its focus to mid-paced songs with a keener emphasis on keyboard melodies. Averting a direction that could have been limiting, Black Cross Hotel smartly sidesteps this by shaving down song lengths and arranging the tracks for optimal pacing. Individual moments across the album evoke Me and That Man (“Eyes from Nowhere”), Soulfly (“Blood Dance”), and Joy Division (“Typo”), casting an eclectic array of sounds into Mount Gloom to forge ten dangerously fun tracks. Though I liked the album at first listen, it took multiple spins for Songs for Switches’ distilled aesthetic to fully unfurl, and once it did, my appreciation redoubled. With a sinister atmosphere designed as much for pain as pleasure, Black Cross Hotel has readied your room for a night you won’t forget.

Miasmata // Subterrania [October 31st, 2025 – Naturmacht Productions]

Still hawking their distinctive blend of meloblack and heavy metal, Miasmata dropped sophomore platter Subterrania on what was one of the most congested release days of 2025.4 In addition to the recurring influences of Windir (“Die at the Right Time”) and Iron Maiden (the intro to “Subterrania” smacks of The X Factor), Subterrania adds a dollop of thrash into the mix. Opener “Those Who Cross the Flame” struts out with a punky riff that wouldn’t be out of place on an Anthrax record, while “Full of the Devil” tastes as much like Testament or Havok as Diamond Head. The beauty of Miasmata, both on debut Unlight: Songs of Earth and Atrophy and Subterrania, is one-man mastermind Mike Wilson’s aptitude to synthesize a mighty host of influences into a unique sonic palette all his own. As Sharky noted in Unlight’s review, Miasmata has a knack for remarkable restraint. Subterrania clocks under forty minutes, layering slithery riffs upon one another in a way that propels the music in constant motion, shifting and unfolding so organically that the album slips by before you realize it’s over (an especially impressive feat considering the self-titled closer’s near fourteen-minute runtime). If you missed Miasmata’s latest on release day, go rectify that. Don’t let Subterrania get lost to the underground.

Dolphin Whisperer’s Autumnal Anomoly

夢遊病者 // РЛБ300119225 [October 28th, 2025 – Self Release]

As if plucked into lucidity from amidst a hazy, proggy machination, РЛБ30011922 steps into its narrative—an exploration of a beloved figure in its creator’s life, including sound clips describing the trials through which she persisted—with an entrancing stumble. Through an understated math rock lens, tight kit rhythms with a tension-building hi-hat clashes strut against a loud and leading bass voice across 37 minutes of fluid guitar textures. Whether it’s the chunky fusion reminiscent of Hackett-era Gordian Knot, the playful rhythmic post-rock that evokes a band like toe, or the fuzzed-out punctuation that tell a prog tale as ’70s King Crimson would, 夢遊病者, also known as Sleepwalker, makes their love of sound as clear as their love of РЛБ30011922’s inspiration. In a setting this free and detailed, not a single moment of this one-long-song opus passes by without taking a moment to focus on a given performer’s escalation in the drama of the movement. Wielding short guitar solos as segues into popping double-kick trots, spoken word exposition as pedal switch-up opportunities, all leading to a crescendo of bent and bluesy expression, 夢遊病者 succeeds in more than just holding an audience captive with their jammy and heartfelt statement. РЛБ30011922, like the shorter form releases that have graced these halls before, will have you coming back time and time again to explore its sentiments, which feel both traced from a dream yet rooted in rich, earthly tone pleasures.

Saunders’ Slinky Sneaks

Enragement // Extinguish All Existence [October 31st, 2025 – Transcending Obscurity]

The back end of 2025 has thrown down some delightfully vicious, chunkified, and straightforward death metal gems, courtesy of the likes of Depravity, Glorious Depravity and Terror Corpse. Not to be discounted, Finland’s Enragement dropped their own intense slab of brutal death on fourth LP, Extinguish All Existence. Cutting with any pleasantries, Enragement get down to business, slamming through a tight, burly collection of Americanized death, keenly treading a balance between thuggish beatdowns, chest-busting blasts, slammy, pig-squealing grooves, and more traditional, though deceptively diverse brutal death fare. Despite the certifiably crushing formula deployed, there is an air of accessibility, perhaps attributed to the clean but suitably beefy production job, bludgeoning, addictive grooves and sinister currents of atmospheric melody flowing through the album’s riff-centric veins. Thrashy, straightforward bursts of fury are tempered by more technical flourishes and an impressively versatile vocal assault. The likes of Devourment, Deeds of Flesh, Dawn of Demise and Benighted are perhaps fitting reference points, however, Enragement blast their own path of uncompromisingly heavy destruction.

Stephen Brodsky // Cut to the Core Vol. 1 [October 3rd, 2025 – Pax Aeturnum]

There are a couple of ways to broach this latest solo endeavor from lovable rogue and Cave In/Mutoid Man mastermind Stephen Brodsky. Brodsky delivers refreshed interpretations of various ’90s hardcore songs, reimagined in acoustic form. Those familiar with the original compositions will likely have fun dissecting and comparing the original anthems. While others, such as myself, largely unfamiliar with the originals, can enjoy these polished takes in their reimagined form, without comparison. Over the years, I have developed a strong connection with Brodsky’s works and come to appreciate his softer, acoustic flavorings. The likes of Snapcase, Converge, Texas is the Reason, Threadbare and By the Grace of God are some of the acts covered with typical style, zest, and emotion. Brodsky’s expressive and emotive delivery showcases both a loving appreciation of the material and deeper emotional connection that bleeds through the often darker, melancholic vibes of the acoustic constructions. The collection is remarkably consistent and infectious, highlighted by Brodsky’s crisp and soulful acoustic playing and distinctive singing voice on standout cuts, including “Windows” (Snapcase), “Benchwarmer” (Lincoln), “Fissures” (By the Grace of God), “Farewell Note to This City” (Converge), and “Voice” (Sense Field).

Soul Blind // Red Sky Mourning [October 10th, 2025 – Closed Casket Activities]

Riding a familiar wave of early ’00s alt-rock/metal and ’90s grungy nostalgia, New York’s Soul Blind emerge with sophomore LP, Red Sky Mourning. Although they tread dangerously close to overt derivation of prominent influences, including Alice in Chains, Deftones, and Helmet, Soul Blind manage to just stay afloat on their own terms. The dreamy melodies, chunky alt metal riffs, and soaring, Cantrell-esque vocal melodies cultivate some earwormy hooks and fuzzy, 90s/’00s feels. Soul Blind possess a knack for writing textured, mildly sludgy, infectious rock ditties, dabbling in shoegazing atmospherics, and sturdier alt metal territories along the way. Soul Blind relish in AIC inspired earworms (“Dyno,” “Hide Your Evil”), grittier, more aggressive alt metal fare (‘Billy,’ “New York Smoke”) and airy, indie pop-rock (“Thru the Haze”). Soul Blind have work to do to stand out from their influences and develop a more unique sound and robust character. However, the signs are positive for better things to come. Red Sky Mourning is a solid throwback album and handy companion piece to the equally nostalgia-inspired album from Bleed earlier in the year.

#2025 #Acoustic #Adrift #Aggravate #AliceInChains #AmericanMetal #AncientMonumentsAndModernSadness #Ancst #Anthrax #AsTheWorldTreeFell #AtmosphericBlackMetal #BlackCrossHotel #BlackMetal #Bleed #Bloodgutter #ByTheGraceOfGod #CanadianMetal #CanvasOfSilence #CattleDecapitation #CaveIn #ClosedCasketActivities #Converge #Crust #CutToTheCoreVol1 #DeathMetal #Deftones #Depravity #DiamondHead #DormantOrdeal #EdgewoodArsenalRecords #Enragement #ExtinguishAllExistence #FellOmen #Fellowship #FiadhProductions #FinnishMetal #FuneralDoom #FysiskFormatRecords #GalgerOgBrann #GloriousDepravity #GordianKnot #GrooveMetal #Grunge #HardRock #Hardcore #Havok #HeavyMetal #Helmet #HorrorPainGoreDeathProductions #IndependentRelease #IndustrialMetal #InternationalMetal #IronMaiden #JapaneseMetal #KillingJoke #KingCrimson #Lincoln #MadderMortem #MeAndThatMan #MelodicBlackMetal #Miasmata #Ministry #MutoidMan #MyDyingBride #NapalmDeath #NaturmachtProductions #NewZealandMetal #Nightwish #NorwegianMetal #Oct25 #Oromet #Ossuary #PaxAeternum #PigDestroyer #ProgressiveMetal #ProgressiveRock #RedSkyMourning #RepulsiveSummoning #Review #Reviews #RockshotsRecords #Rotpit #Sanguisugabogg #ScorchingTomb #SelfRelease #SelfReleased #SenseField #Skitsystem #Snapcase #SomeoddpilotReocrds #SongsForSwitches #SoulBlind #Soulfly #Starer #StephenBrodsky #StuckInTheFilter #StuckInTheFilter2025 #Subterrania #Sutratma #SymphonicMetal #TerrorCorpse #Testament #TexasIsTheReason #TheDarkElement #Theocracy #Threadbare #TimeToKillRecords #toe #Tragedy #TranscendingObsurityRecords #Uaar #ViolentTestimony #Vomitory #Windir #Xaoc #РЛБ30011922 #夢遊病者

Antisocial ...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkfneY5nD_8&list=RDUkfneY5nD_8&start_radio=1

#wintermuteBBSRadioShow
#metal
#anthrax
#antisocial
#unplugged

https://www.europesays.com/es/253535/ ANTHRAX terminan la mezcla de su próximo disco. Vídeo en directo de FEUERSCHWANZ. Single de IMMERSYON. #ANTHRAX #Entertainment #Entretenimiento #ES #España #FEUERSCHWANZ #IMMERSYON #Music #Música #Spain

It must be settled:

80s:
1. Metallica 2. Slayer 3. Anthrax 4. Megadeth

90s:
1. Megadeth 2. Tied (each had 1-2 masterpieces)

00s:
1. Slayer 2. Megadeth 3. Metallica 4. Anthrax

10s:
1. Anthrax 2. Megadeth 3. Slayer 4. Metallica

20s:
1. Anthrax (you'll see) 2. Megadeth 3. Metallica

#Big4 #ThrashMetal #Metallica #Anthrax #Megadeth #Slayer

Igorrr – Amen Review

By Dear Hollow

Igorrr’s fifth full-length Amen symbolizes a logical and natural progression – a refinement of what was hinted at in 2020’s already excellent Spirituality and Distortion. While retaining everything that makes the project absolutely batshit crazy, the addition of a full cast of musicians in 2017 has borne fruit in striking balance. Sonic architect Gautier Serre draws from the longstanding undercurrent of baroque and both twists it and lets it breathe, resulting in something liturgical, haunting, and organic. What Amen proves is that Igorrr remains one of the most unique and creative minds in both metal and electronic, while also refusing stagnation in continuous development and betterment.

Initially sole member Serre has been at this for twenty years, and the evolution of the sound from his early work with Whourkr and demos to now shows this range. The breakcore freakouts of Igorrr’s early albums Nostril and Hallelujah were pure sugar for the brain, the bizarre sounds and novelty the emphasis in their fusion of chaotic breakcore, trip-hop, baroque, death metal, and black metal. In this evolution, Amen feels like a meat-and-potatoes record, a gradual growth since the full band experience of 2017’s Savage Sinusoid that incorporates grandiosity, gravity, and insanity in ways only Igorrr can. The act recorded Amen with a full choir, spotlighting more well-rounded performances warped by otherworldly synths and abstract effects – reverberating with riffs at its core. It’s a reaffirmation of Serre’s genius/insanity and both a heaven of godly power and one hell of a good time.

For all its seriousness, Amen wouldn’t be an Igorrr record without some moments of absolute nonsense – and they’re dead center in the tracklist. While the instruments are immensely layered and it takes some serious ears and repeated listens to deconstruct the noise, some whacky moments swing in like a monkey in a pope hat to steal your banana split and rub its junk in your face. From the blackened blastbeats, classical choirs, and random piano plonks (“Headbutt”)1 fist fights of death metal, surf rock, and oriental music (“Blastbeat Falafel”), straight-up short-form grind (“2020”), some off-key recorders atop death metal takedowns and breakcore glitching (“Mustard Mucous”), and random electronic farts morphing into wonky rhythms, classical overlays, and full-body assaults (“ADHD”), Igorrr as a full-band unit is committed to the insanity. Vocalists J.B. Le Bail (formerly of Svart Crown) and Marthe Alexandre offer death/black metal range and operatic/mournful drama respectively, while guitarist Martyn Clément (also of HAH) and drummer Remi Serafino (formerly of Ecr.Linf) add a vicious metallic bite that expertly balances silliness, groove, and even reverence. The revolving door of contributors, veterans from Soulfly, Anthrax, and Mr. Bungle, are equally bought into the schtick, making Amen feel surprisingly cohesive.

While hinted at in Spirituality and Distortion and Hallelujah, the liturgical and religious elements of Amen add a darker and more serious tone to and alongside Igorrr’s trademark. These tracks are enhanced by robust and haunting choral arrangements, strings, Arabic microtonal scales, and sharp complex percussion, although central motifs help immensely in establishing what to expect. Riffy death metal beatdowns warped by electronic effects (“Daemoni,” “Mustard Mucous”), haunting lilting vocals atop plodding beats (“Limbo,” “Ancient Sun”), and unhinged vocal attacks (“Infestis,” “Pure Disproportionate Black and White Nihilism”) add darkness and liturgy to the band’s sound. Ascending to the heavens with epic choirs and hinting at mystery with its more enigmatic melodic templates, one certainly unique approach that Igorrr employs is letting the baroque and classical elements breathe rather than Serre being quick to warp them or distort them with effects (highlight “Silence”). This makes the album feel much more organic and significant – nearly a meditation.

Amen is Igorrr firing on all cylinders in its full-band capacity. Death metal vocals, operatic laments, choirs, strings, metallic riffs, and manic drumming fed through the machine of Serre’s electronics has never felt so cohesive in its interpretation of religious and baroque viciousness. Yes, the silliest songs are smack-dab in the middle of the album in quick succession (aside from “Headbutt”), which can feel like a distraction from the more serious bookends, and Igorrr’s music can be alienating at its core. However, Amen is a reaffirmation of the project’s batshit and fun-loving genius as well as a new step forward: haunting, brutal, and otherworldly in a way that we can take seriously.

Rating: 4.0/5.0
DR: 6 | Format Reviewed: 320 kb/s mp3
Label: Metal Blade Records
Websites: igorrr.bandcamp.com | igorrr.com | facebook.com/IgorrrBarrroque
Releases Worldwide: September 19th, 2025

#2025 #40 #Amen #Anthrax #AvantGarde #BlackMetal #Breakcore #DeathMetal #EcrLinf #Electronic #ElectronicMetal #FrenchMetal #HAH #Igorrr #MetalBladeRecords #MrBungle #Review #Reviews #Sep25 #Soulfly #SvartCrown #TripHop #Whourkr

Yer Metal Is Olde: Metallica – Load

By Dr. A.N. Grier

Next year, one of Metallica’s greatest albums will turn 30 years old. Yup, you guessed it, Load. That’s why I’m writing a YMIO piece for it this year. Not just to break the rules and piss off ole Steelio, but because the band just released a remastered version of this precious little gem. Why would they do that, you might ask? No fucking clue. But, for collectors, you can expect a rather fresh-sounding remaster and roughly 10,000 useless demos and live performances. Not that you can’t find all the live performances you could ever want from Metallica. And whoever the jagoff is that keeps adding them to Metal Archives, fucking stop, ya stupid cunt. And if said jagoff is one of you, kill yourself. Anyway, this remastered version is apparently such big news that when I search for the album on iTunes, I get this ridiculously over-bloated version every time. And I suspect this hit piece will be just as big, forever immortalized as one of the greatest recollections of Metallica’s big, fat Load.

Let’s set the stage. It’s the 90s, and things have already gone weird for the band when they hired Bob Rock and dropped their massively successful “Black Album,” splitting their fan base in half while attracting millions of arena-goers all over the world. This led to a strange anticipation during that five-year gap between Metallica and Load. Would they continue on this new path? Or have they got that out of their systems and we’ll return to the days of …And Justice for All? What they did next shocked the world. They cut their hair and put on mascara. The ’80s kids revolted while the hype excited the ’90s kids because they weren’t getting one new album; they were getting two in two years. But Metallica were still metal, right? I mean, they coated their new record in blood and jism, for fuck’s sake. While every kid lied to their mothers about the unsavory artwork, one thing was for sure: the Metallica we all knew and loved was gone forever. Goodbye to the underground tape trading. Say hello to radio rock!

Load marks the beginning of fun-loving tunes and addictive choruses, like those found in “2×4,” “Until It Sleeps,” and King Nothing.” It’s also the beginning of filler-filled albums that could have used a haircut as well. Take the best tracks from Load and Reload, and you could have made a single solid album. But no… Instead, the masses have to suffer through two albums with more than a dozen tracks each and roughly two-and-a-half hours of music. That said, of the two records, Load has arguably aged better, bringing interesting concepts that no one would have expected from Het and co., for example, the underrated “Ronnie,” where Hetfield delivers the story of my serial-killing childhood. Load also marks the first time the band wrote a song in a major key with the lyrically charming “Hero of the Day.” The record is so odd that its weirdness is its charm. Plus, those were the times. How many of these classic ’80s bands got sucked into the nightmarish ’90s MTV mentality?

The band also began toying with longer closers, much like the old days in Ride the Lightning, though “The Call of Ktulu” is a far sleeker track than Load’s “The Outlaw Torn.” That said, the closer is one of the more memorable tracks on the album. Even though it meanders far too much, the climax is worth it, and the closing riff is a nice bookend to the opener. The other with a similar length is the underrated “Bleeding Me.” In comparison, the journey one takes in “Bleeding Me” is one of the better ones in Hetfield’s dark mind. It’s a surprisingly powerful piece that tears me to emotional ribbons. A phrase I cannot use for “Mama Said.” This song sees Hetfield taking us off the asphalt and onto a dusty desert road with horses and shit. A song that supposedly almost didn’t make it on the album, yet was “good” enough for a music video. Which is hilarious because the rest of the band basically makes a cameo, watching Het ride off into the sunset in a fucking cowboy hat and shit-kicker boots. Otherwise, the rest of the album is filler stuffed with mood-killing interludes, unnecessary crooning, and the time-period piece of shit talk box in “The House Jack Built.”

Like my piece on the mighty St. Anger, no one asked for a write-up on one of Metallica’s best Bob Rock records. It’s not metal or the Metallica of the ’80s, but times were a-changin’. But, after the great success the band had with their self-titled record, do you blame them for taking this direction? While every metalhead bashes on this record, it’s not like it was a financial failure. Kids at the time flocked to this fucking record, attracted to the groovy, bluesy riffs and personal emotion of Hetfield’s lyrics. While there are plenty of flaws, and so much wah-wah pedal that the band decided to cut out solos for St. Anger, I’d spin this lengthy record far more than any of the rest of the shit that came out. I mean, at least they didn’t do a hip-hop collaboration like Anthrax. Load and Reload were not the albums any fan wanted, but, for better or worse, Load began a new era for Metallica, and they really didn’t give a fuck what we thought. So, do yourself a favor, listen to the crisp remastered version, relive your Zack Morris years, and don’t waste your hate on Met. Also, pull up your pants and cut your fucking hair.

#1996 #AmericanMetal #Anthrax #ElektraRecords #GrooveMetal #HardRock #Load #Metallica #YerMetalIsOlde

Firstborne – Lucky Review

By Angry Metal Guy

Written By: Nameless_n00b_604

What does it mean to be Firstborne? What does it mean to be carried or transmitted—borne—by First? This is a question likely left unpondered by the band Firstborne, who are too busy carrying the hard rockin’ glories of the past into the present and transmitting rollicking good times to the masses to care for such trifles. Comprised of ex-Lamb of God drummer Chris Adler, Girish and The Chronicles singer Girish Pradhan, and guitar journeyman Myrone, Firstborne’s sophomore album, Lucky, is the product of decades’ worth of collective experience and professional toil. They have the know-how. They have the chops. They have an awful name. But do they have the songs?

Firstborne is here for a good time, not for a long one. Across ten tracks and thirty-seven minutes, Firstborne provides high-energy, blues-infused hard rock that dabbles in thrash and punk. Songs like “Again (Lucky)” and “Prometheus (Nicotine Chris)” showcase Firstborne at their most meat-n’-taters as they brandish big riffs, slithering basslines, and huge, gravelly vocals that fit the rock radio mold. “Shine” and “Only a Fool” ooze greasy, bluesy rock while thrashers “Wake Up (It’s a God Damn F_cking Scam)” and “Human Interrupted” feel like takes on Anthrax and Testament, respectively. The biggest standouts on Lucky, “Rescue Me” and “Minefield (Ohhh Face),” are easily its highlights, the former adorning its Thin Lizzy-meets-Guns N’ Roses country rock with the most addicting chorus I’ve heard all year and the latter machine-gunning through Iced Earth triplets, Pennywise punk ‘woah’s and a surprise interpolation of Iron Maiden’s “The Trooper.” Brief and easy-listening, Lucky won’t open your mind to new artistic horizons, but it will open some pits on tour.

When Lucky works, it works because Firstborne knows how to let loose. Adler’s drumming, while not as rhythmically intense as on his Lamb of God material, is still tight and precise, and some of his signature double kicks do make appearances on “Again” and “Only a Fool.” Girish is a powerhouse belter, and his grunge grizzle and layered harmonies on “Shine” and “Prometheus” evoke Alice in Chains. But Myrone’s guitar soloing is the star of the show, navigating between uninhibited shredding (“Minefield,”) Slash-like bends (“Rescue Me,”) somber acoustics (“Heavens Return”), and southern blues on “Shine” so dank he doesn’t make it talk so much as make that shit drawl. Sometimes the band can get too loose, veering into plain goofiness on the upper-class-bashing “Only a Fool” when they espouse that “Sushi dinners are hotdogs at night.”1 Nonetheless, Firstborne can be a lot of fun when they break out and just let it rip.

But too often, the lads in Firstborne box themselves in with unimaginative songwriting. Frequently, they will sink into a groove, riff, or melody and rigidly stick to it well past its prime. This leads to real snoozers like “Normandy (The Crime Mind Anthem)” and “Prometheus,” which both plod through their runtimes with cheerless riffs and stock vocal melodies. Similarly, “Shine” and “Heavens Return” both aim for quiet-verse-loud-chorus formats but end up just boring, where the former’s “Lose Yourself” soundalike riff becomes irritating with overexposure and the latter’s sluggish chorus lands with a wet thud. These issues are further boxed in by Lucky’s brick-walled mix and sterile production. Not only does its short runtime feel much longer due to listening fatigue, but a lack of dynamics undermines any power or punch that songs like “Shine” and “Heavens Return” aspired to. Hard rock thrives on warm tones and breathable mixes,2 which this package just doesn’t allow for. Firstborne should dig deeper for more on album number three, both from their songwriting and their production.

Even though Lucky can be a frustrating listen, it still offers glimpses of what Firstborne can be. I’ll be humming “Rescue Me” all year, and even some of the songs I didn’t like have gotten stuck in my head throughout my time with Lucky. If Firstborne bequeaths every song on their next album the dynamite they brought to the highlights of Lucky, it’ll be a rager of an album indeed. But as is, Lucky is a fun, yet flawed, collection of throwback tunes worthy of any carefree highway cruise or rowdy house party. It’s not a sushi dinner, but a hot dog at night’s not so bad either.

Rating: Mixed
DR: 5 | Review Format: 320 kb/s mp3
Label: M-Theory Audio
Website: thefirstborne.com | firstborne.bandcamp.com | facebook.com/firstborneofficial | instagram.com/firstborneofficial
Releases Worldwide: August 8th, 2025

#2025 #AliceInChains #AmericanMetal #Anthrax #Aug25 #Firstborne #GirishAndTheChronicles #GunsNRoses #HardRock #IcedEarth #IronMaiden #LambOfGod #Lucky #Pennywise #Review #Reviews #Testament #ThinLizzy

Bloodletter – Leave the Light Behind Review

By ClarkKent

Hot off Holdeneye’s 3.5 for their third album, Chicago’s Bloodletter jumps right back into more thrashy melodeath with album number four, Leave the Light Behind. Holdeneye saw a big improvement between sophomore record Funeral Hymns and A Different Kind of Hell, saying he finally saw what so enamored Angry Metal Guy about Funeral Hymns.1 I too, grew enamored when I first set my ears on their style of smooth, polished thrash. Bloodletter play my kind of kryptonite—catchy, melodic guitar leads with tons of energy. When I saw this hit the promo bin, I immediately snatched it before Dr. AMG could get his hands on it. I was anxious to discover if Bloodletter could keep up with the energy and expert melodicism of their previous work.

Leave the Light Behind continues in the melothrash vein of its predecessor, combining thunderous, lightning-fast blast beats with memorable harmonic riffs. Bloodletter sounds as if they were born of an orgy between Black Dahlia Murder, Death Angel, Exodus, and At the Gates. If that doesn’t sound like a good time, then you should get your ears checked by one of our staff doctors. Bloodletter has an undeniable polish, giving them a modern sound, though that means they miss out on the charms of the raw energy of Bonded by Blood or Slaughter of the Soul. In some ways, they’ve even upped their thrash game—some of those tremolos are so speedy I can’t help but wonder if they contracted Flash as a special guest. However, it’s not all speed all the time. A few songs slow things down to a mid-tempo while still managing to sound fresh and vivacious (“Terminal,” “Call of the Deep One”). They even have a moment on “Night Terrors” where a haunting piano intro lulls you into expecting a ballad before the sudden booming snare drum knocks you flat. Nonetheless, the album’s breakneck velocity ensures that its 34 minutes are over in the blink of an eye. So you better pay attention.

Between Funeral Hymns and Leave the Light Behind, there’s no denying the quality and growth of these musicians. The muscular drums and frenzied, yet disciplined, riffs keep a breathless pace. Yet drummer Zach Sutton and guitarists Peter Carparelli and Pat Armamentos display some nuance to show that Bloodletter is more than simple speed bag-level velocity. Most impressive are the harmonic guitar leads featured in many choruses. You might not find yourself singing along to the words, but you might instead hum along to the catchy melodic riffage on display during “A World Unmade,” “Terminal,” and “Unearthing Darkness.” For these alone, I feel that Leave the Light Behind is a step up from its predecessor. Even outside of the harmonic leads, the riffs are a blast, and thanks to their variety, they never grow stale or repetitive

One major point of criticism aimed at Bloodletter, both from Holdeneye and readers, is Carparelli’s one-note vocals. Personally, they don’t bother me much. His scratchy shouts bring a punky energy that adds some urgency to the thrash. Yet it’s true that his voice hovers in a state of limbo—he lacks the snarls of Trevor Strnad, nor does he truly sing like Anthrax’s Joey Belladonna. Those put off by him on previous albums won’t find the vocal situation any different this time around. I still find Carparelli effective, especially on “The Black Death,” the rare song where the singing on the chorus is more fun than the riffs. He brings forth a burst of raw, despairing anger as he sings “This is more than sickness / It’s a god damn tragedy.” Carparelli nicely complements the rest of the music, and his personality has begun to bleed into the DNA of Bloodletter, making him an inseparable part of it.

If what you want is a tight, enjoyable piece of melodic thrash, then you can’t do much better than Leave the Light Behind. Bloodletter has undeniably honed their craft into a no-frills, efficient exemplar of the style. And it’s another notch in the belt for Chicago, Illinois, along with Blind Equation, Bear Mace, and the new Pope. Maybe if Chicago sports stadiums played music from these local bands, fans would have something to cheer about. Leave the Light Behind also continues the winning streak for Bloodletter. As far as thrash and melodeath go, this is one of the standouts of 2025.

Rating: 4.0/5.0
DR: 7 | Format Reviewed: WAV
Label: Wise Blood Records
Websites: Bandcamp | Facebook
Releases Worldwide: July 25th, 2025

#2025 #40 #AmericanMetal #Anthrax #AtTheGates #BearMace #BlackDahliaMurder #BlindEquation #Bloodletter #DeathAngel #Exodus #Jul25 #LeaveTheLightBehind #MelodicDeathMetal #Review #Reviews #ThrashMetal #WiseBloodRecords

I think Anthrax made 2 of the 3 best albums of the #Big4 of #ThrashMetal in the 2010s.

Here's my ranking:

1. For All Kings - #Anthrax
2. Repentless - #Slayer
3. Worship Music - Anthrax
4. Hardwired to Self-Destruct - #Metallica
5. Th1rt3en - #Megadeth
6. Dystopia - Megadeth
9. Super Collider - Megadeth

✨ #TomsAOTY2024 ✨

🥉Xion - Between Shadows And Gods

If you think early #Metallica are the best of the big 4, you will like this one.
If you think #Megadeth are the best of the big 4, you will like this one.
If you think #Anthrax are the best of the big 4, you will like this one.
If you think #Testament should be in the big 4, you will like this one.

If you love #ThrashMetal, you will love this one. Period.

This is the best thrash metal album that has been released this year. Period.

:bandcamp: https://xiontheband.bandcamp.com/album/between-shadows-and-gods

#AOTY #AOTY2024 #Xion

:megaphone: DEMNÄCHST!
*Zusammenfassung 06.12. bis 06.01. für Berlin

Amenra
06.12.2024 Berlin / Passionskirche Kreuzberg

Ancient
06.12.2024 Berlin / ORWOHaus

Ante-Inferno und Worm
06.12.2024 Berlin / ORWOHaus

DE MORTEM ET DIABOLUM Vol. X
06.12.2024 Berlin

Ignite
06.12.2024 Berlin / Astra

League of Distortion
06.12.2024 Berlin / Cassiopeia

Stepfather Fred
07.12.2024 Eisenhüttenstadt / RockHütte
08.12.2024 Berlin / Rockz

Anthrax, Kreator und Testament
08.12.2024 Berlin / Music Hall

Kreator
08.12.2024 Berlin / Uber Eats Music Hall

Lizzard
09.12.2024 Berlin / Badehaus

#Amenra #Ancient #AnteInferno #Anthrax #Astra #Badehaus #Berlin #Cassiopeia #DEMORTEMETDIABOLUMVolX #Eisenhuttenstadt #Ignite #Kreator #LeagueOfDistortion #Lizzard #Metropol #MusicHall #ORWOHaus #OranssiPazuzu #PassionskircheKreuzberg #RockHutte #Rockz #StepfatherFred #UberEatsMusicHall #SteelFeed #SteelFeedSoon

:megaphone: DEMNÄCHST!
*Zusammenfassung 29.11. bis 30.12. für Köln

Alphaville
29.11.2024 Solingen / EmslandArena

Ignite
29.11.2024 Köln / Essigfabrik

Royal Republic
29.11.2024 Köln / Palladium

Anthrax, Kreator und Testament
30.11.2024 Düsseldorf / Mitsubishi Electric Halle

Bury Tomorrow
30.11.2024 Köln / Palladium

Future Palace
30.11.2024 Köln / Kantine

Kreator & Anthrax
30.11.2024 Düsseldorf / Mitsubishi Electric Halle

You Me at Six
30.11.2024 Köln / Carlswerk Victoria

Falling in Reverse
02.12.2024 Köln / Palladium

Ian Paice
03.12.2024 Mönchengladbach / KUNSTWERK

#Alphaville #Anthrax #BuryTomorrow #CarlswerkVictoria #Dusseldorf #EmslandArena #Essigfabrik #FallingInReverse #FuturePalace #IanPaice #Ignite #JagPanzer #KUNSTWERK #Kantine #Koln #KreatorAnthrax #MitsubishiElectricHalle #Monchengladbach #Palladium #Pitcher #RoyalRepublic #Solingen #YouMeAtSix #SteelFeed #SteelFeedSoon

#Bacteriologic and #Genomic #Investigation of #Bacillus anthracis Isolated from #WWII Site {Unit 731}, #China

Source: Emerging Infectious Diseases Journal, fhttps://wwwnc.cdc.gov/eid/article/30/12/23-1520_article

Abstract
Records suggest Bacillus anthracis was used in biowarfare during World War II, but evidence remains limited. We isolated B. anthracis from soil at the remains of a World War II–era laboratory in China. Phenotypic and genomic analyses confirmed the finding, highlighting the value of microbial forensics in biothreat investigation.

____

#abstract #anthrax #bioterrorism #china #japan #research #warCrimes #WMDs

It's #ThrashThursday fellow Mastodonians!

It has been way to long since I listened to one of my #AOTY2024 contenders, the debut album of the young swedes of Xion.

🎵 Vision of the Blind by #Xion
💿 Between Shadows and Gods, 2024
▶️ https://song.link/y/YphMqyT9nn8

#FFO early #Anthrax, early #Metallica, early #Megadeth

#TomsMusic #NowPlaying #ThrashMetal

#TheMetalDogArticleList
#BraveWords
Today In Metal History 🤘 August 24th, 2024🤘
SEPULTURA, ARMORED SAINT, JUDAS PRIEST, ANNIHILATOR, GRAVE DIGGER

https://bravewords.com/news/today-in-metal-history-august-24th-2024sepultura-armored-saint-judas-priest-annihilator-grave-digger

#Sepultura #ArmoredSaint #JudasPriest #Anihilator #GraveDigger #MollyHatchet #UriahHeep #JamesGang #Heart #Anthrax #Caliban #MunicipalWaste #MalevolentCreation #TheSword #Helmet #ShadowsFalls #TheShowdown #Apostasy #TarjaTurunen #Trollfest #AliceInChains #TheAmityAffliction #Ancestors #LairOfTheMinotaur #Mantar #MobRules

For @derthomas' #ThrashThursday, a supergroup:

#Category7: In Stitches

https://song.link/wqdh2btjzdcxk

FFO the members:
#ArmoredSaint and former #Anthrax frontman John Bush
#KerryKing sideman and former #MachineHead guitarist Phil Demmel
#AdrenalineMob guitarist Mike Orlando
#Exodus bassist Jack Gibson
#Overkill and #ShadowsFall drummer Jason Bittner

#TheMetalDogArticleList
#BraveWords
Today In Metal History 🤘 July 9th, 2024🤘 AC/DC, MOTÖRHEAD, ANTHRAX, DEEP PURPLE

https://bravewords.com/news/today-in-metal-history-july-9th-2024-ac-dc-motorhead-anthrax-deep-purple

#acdc #motörhead #anthrax #deeppurple #bonscott #mitchmitchell #wurzel #frankbello #whitesnake #battlecross #sirenai #butcherbabies #kingkobra #eighteenvisions

#TheMetalDogArticleList
#MetalInjection
Weekend Poll: What Was The Best Release Of 1984?
Back when metal was just starting to bubble up.

https://metalinjection.net/news/poll/weekend-poll-what-was-the-best-release-of-1984

#Metallica #RideTheLightning #IronMaiden #Powerslave #Dio #TheLastInLine #Anthrax #FistfulOfMetal #Autograph #SignInPlease #Bathory #Bathory #CelticFrost #MorbidTales #CirithUngol #KingOfTheDead #CorrosionOfConformity #EyeForAnEye #TheCult #Dreamtime #DeepPurple #PerfectStrangers #DiAnno #DiAnno #Hawaii #LoudWildAndHeavy #Hellhammer

#TheMetalDogArticleList
#louder
“We took influences from the New York hardcore scene. Our stuff was faster than in the Bay Area”: the 100mph story of East Coast thrash
The inside story of 80s thrash’s great East Coast vs West Coast rivalry

https://www.loudersound.com/features/we-took-influences-from-the-new-york-hardcore-scene-our-stuff-was-faster-than-in-the-bay-area-the-100mph-story-of-east-coast-thrash

#NewYorkThrash #EastCoastThrash #MetalHammer #Anthrax #NuclearAssault #Slayer #Megadeth #ThrashMetal #HardcorePunk #NYHC #BayAreaThrash #Metallica

#TheMetalDogArticleList
#BraveWords
GBI (GROHL, BENANTE, IAN) Announce Further Details For Upcoming Release Of BAD BRAINS Cover

https://bravewords.com/news/gbi-grohl-benante-ian-announce-further-details-for-upcoming-release-of-bad-brains-cover

#GBI #DaveGrohl #CharlieBenante #ScottIan #BadBrains #TheRegulator #RecordStoreDay #PaulDHudson #HR #SUNCT #CBGB #JackInTheBox #Anthrax #FooFighters

My second #BandCampFriday purchase will be a real surprise for everyone who is following my feed.

It is "Between Shadows And Gods" by the young swedes #Xion

I am still amazed by who insanely good this album is.

https://xiontheband.bandcamp.com/album/between-shadows-and-gods

If you like #Metallica 👉 get it
If you like #Anthrax 👉 get it
If you like #Megadeth 👉 get it
If you like #Testament 👉 get it
If you like #ThrashMetal 👉 get it

If you don't like any of these 👉 fuck it, get it anyhow

#TheMetalDogArticleList
#Loudwire
The Most Played Song Live Off Each Album by Thrash's 'Big 4'
How many of these songs have you seen Big 4 bands play live?

https://loudwire.com/most-played-song-live-every-album-thrash-big-4-metallica-slayer-megadeth-anthrax/

#Thrash #Big4 #Metallica #Slayer #Megadeth #Anthrax #MostPlayedSong #Live #EveryAlbum #ImportantInfo

Happy 60 birthday to the amazing Anthrax guitarist Scott Ian!

#scottian #anthrax #rock #rocknroll #rockandroll #classicrock #hardrock #thrashmetal #metal #heavymetal #bigfour #big4 #music

#TheMetalDogArticleList
#Loudwire
Best Thrash Metal Album of Each Year Since 1983
We examine the best of the best thrash has had to offer from each year since 1983!

https://loudwire.com/best-thrash-album-each-year/

#ThrashMetal #MetalMusic #BestAlbums #Loudwire #DarkAngel #Overkill #Anthrax #VioLence #Metallica #Sepultura #SacredReich #Slayer #Testament #NuclearAssault #Kreator #Megadeth #Sodom #Exodus #Destruction #FlotsamandJetsam #DeathAngel #Annihilator

#TheMetalDogArticleList
#BraveWords
ANTHRAX / PANTERA Drummer CHARLIE BENANTE Featured In Paranormal Prison, Episode 4 - "I'm Sure A Lot Of Things Went Down Here"; Video

https://bravewords.com/news/anthrax-pantera-drummer-charlie-benante-featured-in-paranormal-prison-episode-4-i-m-sure-a-lot-of-things-went-down-here-video

#Anthrax
#Pantera
#CharlieBenante
#ParanormalPrison
#Episode4
#ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight
#SupernaturalInvestigations
#GhostHunting

#TheMetalDogArticleList
#MetalInjection
FOO FIGHTERS, MTLEY CRE, SLIPKNOT, LIMP BIZKIT, KERRY KING & More Announced For Welcome To Rockville 2024
Plus Judas Priest, Mudvayne, Mr. Bungle, Anthrax, Mammoth WVH, In Flames, and way more.

https://metalinjection.net/tour-dates/foo-fighters-motley-crue-slipknot-limp-bizkit-kerry-king-more-announced-for-welcome-to-rockville-2024

#WelcomeToRockville2024 #FooFighters #MotleyCrue #Slipknot #LimpBizkit #KerryKing #RockFestival #RockMusic #RockReunion #JudasPriest #InFlames #WVH #MrBungle #Anthrax

#TheMetalDogArticleList
#louder
The 10 greatest guest spots in heavy metal history
From Bruce Dickinson teaming with Rob Halford to Dave Grohl’s Probot album, here are the times big names made great metal songs even greater

https://www.loudersound.com/features/greatest-metal-guest-spots

#metalmusic
#metalguestspots
#MetalLegends
#Metallica
#Manson
#IronMaiden
#DreamTheater
#Slayer
#Motorhead
#Anthrax
#KillswitchEngage
#Opeth
#RageAgainstTheMachine
#SystemofaDown
#Dio
#BlackSabbath

#TheMetalDogArticleList
#BraveWords
ANTHRAX Guitarist SCOTT IAN Streaming Blood & Guts Season 1, Episode 4 Featuring FX Great JENNIFER ASPINALL; Video

https://bravewords.com/news/anthrax-guitarist-scott-ian-streaming-blood-guts-season-1-episode-4-featuring-fx-great-jennifer-aspinall-video

#Anthrax
#GuitaristScottIan
#BloodGutsSeason1
#Episode4
#FXGreatJenniferAspinall
#BraveWordsNews

#TheMetalDogArticleList
#BraveWords
ANTHRAX Guitarist SCOTT IAN Streaming Blood & Guts Season 1, Episode 3; Video

https://bravewords.com/news/anthrax-guitarist-scott-ian-streaming-blood-guts-season-1-episode-3-video

#ScottIan #Anthrax #BloodGuts #Podcast #HeavyMetal #HardRock #ThrashMetal #Season1 #Episode3 #Streaming

#TheMetalDogArticleList
#BLABBERMOUTH
ANTHRAX's SCOTT IAN To Help Spread Message Of Zero-Emission Future: 'Climate Change Is Upon Us'

https://blabbermouth.net/news/anthraxs-scott-ian-to-help-spread-message-of-zero-emission-future-climate-change-is-upon-us

#ClimateChangeIsReal
#ZeroEmissionFuture
#ClimateCrisis
#GoGreen
#Sustainably
#EnvironmentalProtection
#ClimateLegacy
#NatureFirst
#SaveThePlanet
#ScottIan
#Anthrax

#TheMetalDogArticleList
#BLABBERMOUTH
Watch: DORO Joined By Members Of MOTRHEAD, ANTHRAX, U.D.O. And BLIND GUARDIAN During WACKEN OPEN AIR Set

https://blabbermouth.net/news/watch-doro-joined-by-members-of-motorhead-anthrax-u-d-o-and-blind-guardian-during-wacken-open-air-set

#WackenOpenAir #DoroPesch #Motorhead #Anthrax #UDO #BlindGuardian #MetalMusic #LivePerformance