#dark-tranquillity — Public Fediverse posts

It's like walking alone under cold lights, where every riff whispers nostalgia and every melody pulls you into a refuge as beautiful as it is unsettling. 🤘🏽🤘🏽🎸😈

Es como caminar solo bajo luces frías, donde cada riff susurra nostalgia y cada melodía te arrastra a un refugio tan hermoso como inquietante.🤘🏽🤘🏽😈🎸🤘🏽
#heavymetal #darktranquillity #metal #music #vinyl

It's like walking alone under cold lights, where every riff whispers nostalgia and every melody pulls you into a refuge as beautiful as it is unsettling. 🤘🏽🤘🏽🎸😈

Es como caminar solo bajo luces frías, donde cada riff susurra nostalgia y cada melodía te arrastra a un refugio tan hermoso como inquietante.🤘🏽🤘🏽😈🎸🤘🏽
#heavymetal #darktranquillity #metal #music #vinyl

It's like walking alone under cold lights, where every riff whispers nostalgia and every melody pulls you into a refuge as beautiful as it is unsettling. 🤘🏽🤘🏽🎸😈

Es como caminar solo bajo luces frías, donde cada riff susurra nostalgia y cada melodía te arrastra a un refugio tan hermoso como inquietante.🤘🏽🤘🏽😈🎸🤘🏽
#heavymetal #darktranquillity #metal #music #vinyl

It's like walking alone under cold lights, where every riff whispers nostalgia and every melody pulls you into a refuge as beautiful as it is unsettling. 🤘🏽🤘🏽🎸😈

Es como caminar solo bajo luces frías, donde cada riff susurra nostalgia y cada melodía te arrastra a un refugio tan hermoso como inquietante.🤘🏽🤘🏽😈🎸🤘🏽
#heavymetal #darktranquillity #metal #music #vinyl

It's like walking alone under cold lights, where every riff whispers nostalgia and every melody pulls you into a refuge as beautiful as it is unsettling. 🤘🏽🤘🏽🎸😈

Es como caminar solo bajo luces frías, donde cada riff susurra nostalgia y cada melodía te arrastra a un refugio tan hermoso como inquietante.🤘🏽🤘🏽😈🎸🤘🏽
#heavymetal #darktranquillity #metal #music #vinyl

OMG! In Flames, Dark Tranquilitiy und At The Gates werden gecovert. Am 4. und 5. Dezember 2026. In Göteborg. Von den Göteborger Symphoniker! 😍

Ich hoffe, das gibt's später auf Disc.

#inflames #atthegates #darktranquillity #goteborg #metal

OMG! In Flames, Dark Tranquilitiy und At The Gates werden gecovert. Am 4. und 5. Dezember 2026. In Göteborg. Von den Göteborger Symphoniker! 😍

Ich hoffe, das gibt's später auf Disc.

#inflames #atthegates #darktranquillity #goteborg #metal

OMG! In Flames, Dark Tranquilitiy und At The Gates werden gecovert. Am 4. und 5. Dezember 2026. In Göteborg. Von den Göteborger Symphoniker! 😍

Ich hoffe, das gibt's später auf Disc.

#inflames #atthegates #darktranquillity #goteborg #metal

Metal En Route is back with another stacked week of shows.

From Dark Tranquillity hitting the stage with Soen and Persefone, Helloween to Slaughter to Prevail, there’s no shortage of heavy across the East Coast this week.

See what’s coming through your area: https://metalinsider.net/touring/metal-en-route-04-14-04-19-the-power-of-metal-dark-tranquillity-helloween-more

#MetalEnRoute #DarkTranquillity #Helloween #SlaughterToPrevail #Metal #LiveMusic #Concerts

Metal En Route is back with another stacked week of shows.

From Dark Tranquillity hitting the stage with Soen and Persefone, Helloween to Slaughter to Prevail, there’s no shortage of heavy across the East Coast this week.

See what’s coming through your area: https://metalinsider.net/touring/metal-en-route-04-14-04-19-the-power-of-metal-dark-tranquillity-helloween-more

#MetalEnRoute #DarkTranquillity #Helloween #SlaughterToPrevail #Metal #LiveMusic #Concerts

Way back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1

Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound

Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!

Day One: The Aclimationing

After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!

As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.

From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.

Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).

Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.

Day Two: Any Port in the Storm

Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.

We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!

From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.

From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!

After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.

Day Three: Arctic Winds

Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.

80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.

After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3

Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.

Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.

From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.

After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!

Day Four: Survive and Endure

As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.

After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.

Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.

One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.

As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.

In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.

The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.

Final Thoughts:

70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.

Funniest Moment:

-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.

-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.

Bands We Missed:

Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.

Biggest Gripe:

The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.

Biggest Surprise:

I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!

Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.

Post Ship Depression Syndrome:

It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.

Way back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1

Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound

Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!

Day One: The Aclimationing

After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!

As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.

From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.

Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).

Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.

Day Two: Any Port in the Storm

Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.

We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!

From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.

From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!

After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.

Day Three: Arctic Winds

Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.

80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.

After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3

Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.

Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.

From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.

After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!

Day Four: Survive and Endure

As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.

After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.

Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.

One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.

As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.

In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.

The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.

Final Thoughts:

70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.

Funniest Moment:

-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.

-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.

Bands We Missed:

Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.

Biggest Gripe:

The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.

Biggest Surprise:

I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!

Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.

Post Ship Depression Syndrome:

It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.

Way back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1

Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound

Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!

Day One: The Aclimationing

After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!

As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.

From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.

Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).

Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.

Day Two: Any Port in the Storm

Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.

We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!

From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.

From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!

After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.

Day Three: Arctic Winds

Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.

80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.

After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3

Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.

Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.

From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.

After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!

Day Four: Survive and Endure

As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.

After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.

Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.

One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.

As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.

In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.

The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.

Final Thoughts:

70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.

Funniest Moment:

-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.

-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.

Bands We Missed:

Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.

Biggest Gripe:

The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.

Biggest Surprise:

I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!

Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.

Post Ship Depression Syndrome:

It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.

Way back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1

Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound

Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!

Day One: The Aclimationing

After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!

As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.

From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.

Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).

Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.

Day Two: Any Port in the Storm

Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.

We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!

From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.

From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!

After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.

Day Three: Arctic Winds

Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.

80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.

After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3

Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.

Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.

From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.

After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!

Day Four: Survive and Endure

As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.

After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.

Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.

One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.

As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.

In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.

The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.

Final Thoughts:

70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.

Funniest Moment:

-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.

-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.

Bands We Missed:

Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.

Biggest Gripe:

The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.

Biggest Surprise:

I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!

Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.

Post Ship Depression Syndrome:

It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.

Way back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of lifestyle. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1

Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound

Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to sunny Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our hometown on Long Island. This scrambled all the central and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!

Day One: The Aclimationing

After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!

As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the first series of drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a cool way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.

From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we ducked out to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.

Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).

Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.

Day Two: Any Port in the Storm

Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and wewould be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.

We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they took the stage, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!

From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.

From there we beered up and then caught Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to his being confined to his cabin and the band being banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!

After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.

Day Three: Arctic Winds

Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.

80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.

After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3

Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams was performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.

Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through that from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant once again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and they made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that, too.

From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.

After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even dropping in “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!

Day Four: Survive and Endure

As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.

After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.

Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.

One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.

As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.

In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to catch Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.

The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.

Final Thoughts:

70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.

Funniest Moment:

-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.

-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.

Band We Missed:

Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.

Biggest Gripe:

The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.

Biggest Surprise:

I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!

Post Ship Depression Syndrome:

It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.

Character has aged beautifully. Dark Tranquillity at their peak: https://youtu.be/KqeUU9-ALAg?si=nh2ROAKQd5u0w6NA

#DarkTranquillity #MelodicDeathMetal

Character has aged beautifully. Dark Tranquillity at their peak: https://youtu.be/KqeUU9-ALAg?si=nh2ROAKQd5u0w6NA

#DarkTranquillity #MelodicDeathMetal

Character has aged beautifully. Dark Tranquillity at their peak: https://youtu.be/KqeUU9-ALAg?si=nh2ROAKQd5u0w6NA

#DarkTranquillity #MelodicDeathMetal

Character has aged beautifully. Dark Tranquillity at their peak: https://youtu.be/KqeUU9-ALAg?si=nh2ROAKQd5u0w6NA

#DarkTranquillity #MelodicDeathMetal

https://www.europesays.com/es/403490/ Arcanxo Festival 2026 de Pontevedra muestra su cartel con DARK TRANQUILLITY, DESTRUCTION, VENOM INC. y más grupos #DarkTranquillity #DeathMelodico #destruction #DoomMetal #Entertainment #Entretenimiento #ES #España #HardRock #HeavyMetal #Music #Música #PowerMetal #Spain #SpeedMetal #ThrashMetal #VenomInc #WOLFHEART

Dark Tranquillity and Soen announce spring 2026 North American co-headline tour:

#DarkTranquillity #Soen #Persefone #TourAlert

Link: https://metalinsider.net/touring/dark-tranquillity-and-soen-announce-spring-2026-north-american-co-headline-tour

Dark Tranquillity and Soen announce spring 2026 North American co-headline tour:

#DarkTranquillity #Soen #Persefone #TourAlert

Link: https://metalinsider.net/touring/dark-tranquillity-and-soen-announce-spring-2026-north-american-co-headline-tour

Dark Tranquillity and Soen announce co-headlining North American tour

Dark Tranquillity and Soen will be teaming up for a co-headlining North American tour this spring. Persefone will…
#NewsBeep #News #US #USA #UnitedStates #UnitedStatesOfAmerica #Music #DarkTranquillity #Entertainment #hardcore #Lambgoat #Metal #Persefone #Soen
https://www.newsbeep.com/us/420498/

Dark Tranquillity and Soen announce co-headlining North American tour

Dark Tranquillity and Soen will be teaming up for a co-headlining North American tour this spring. Persefone will…
#NewsBeep #News #US #USA #UnitedStates #UnitedStatesOfAmerica #Music #DarkTranquillity #Entertainment #hardcore #Lambgoat #Metal #Persefone #Soen
https://www.newsbeep.com/us/420498/

Dark Tranquillity: Cuando Mikael Stanne lloró | vía #iRock

https://www.irock.cl/dark-tranquillity-cuando-mikael-stanne-lloro/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=dark-tranquillity-cuando-mikael-stanne-lloro

#blackflow #conciertos #darktranquillity #internacional #livereviewinternacional #metal #mikaelstanne #teatrocariola

Dark Tranquillity: Cuando Mikael Stanne lloró | vía #iRock

https://www.irock.cl/dark-tranquillity-cuando-mikael-stanne-lloro/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=dark-tranquillity-cuando-mikael-stanne-lloro

#blackflow #conciertos #darktranquillity #internacional #livereviewinternacional #metal #mikaelstanne #teatrocariola

Dark Tranquility en Chile: El imparable sonido de Gotemburgo | vía #NaciónRock

https://www.nacionrock.com/dark-tranquility-en-chile-el-imparable-sonido-de-gotemburgo/

#darktranquillity #rockenvivo

Dark Tranquility en Chile: El imparable sonido de Gotemburgo | vía #NaciónRock

https://www.nacionrock.com/dark-tranquility-en-chile-el-imparable-sonido-de-gotemburgo/

#darktranquillity #rockenvivo

https://www.europesays.com/es/336894/ DARK TRANQUILLITY en Iberoamérica. Fecha para el disco de MASTERPLAN. Single de TAMADRE. #DarkTranquillity #Entertainment #Entretenimiento #ES #España #MASTERPLAN #Music #Música #Spain #TAMADRE

Dark Tranquility llega conectando The Gallery y Character | vía #iRock

https://www.irock.cl/dark-tranquility-llega-conectando-the-gallery-y-character/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=dark-tranquility-llega-conectando-the-gallery-y-character

#conciertos #darktranquillity #internacional #metal #teatrocariola

Dark Tranquility llega conectando The Gallery y Character | vía #iRock

https://www.irock.cl/dark-tranquility-llega-conectando-the-gallery-y-character/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=dark-tranquility-llega-conectando-the-gallery-y-character

#conciertos #darktranquillity #internacional #metal #teatrocariola

Dark Tranquillity – Haven (2000, Sweden)

Continuing our journey through the epic Fedi-sourced catalogue of must-hear albums, our next spotlight is on number 185 on The List, submitted by HauntedOwlbear. Formed in 1989, Dark Tranquillity is considered to be one of the pioneering bands of the melodic death metal genre specifically, and of the Gothenburg metal scene in general, alongside (the recently departed Tomas Lindberg’s) At The Gates and In Flames. By the time we get to this album – their fifth – piano/keyboard and electronics as well as some clean vocals had already been added to their death metal sound. The result is, unexpectedly, rather uplifting music.

Want to read more? See the full spotlight on the Fediverse at https://linernotes.club/@1001otheralbu[email protected] or on the blog: https://1001otheralbums.com/2025/12/29/dark-tranquillity-haven-2000-sweden/

Want to skip straight to the music? Here's the Bandcamp: https://darktranquillity.bandcamp.com/album/haven-re-issue-bonus

Happy listening!

#DarkTranquillity #MelodicDeathMetal #GothenburgMetal #SwedishDeathMetal #metal #Sweden #music #1001OtherAlbums

Dark Tranquillity – Haven (2000, Sweden)

Continuing our journey through the epic Fedi-sourced catalogue of must-hear albums, our next spotlight is on number 185 on The List, submitted by HauntedOwlbear. Formed in 1989, Dark Tranquillity is considered to be one of the pioneering bands of the melodic death metal genre specifically, and of the Gothenburg metal scene in general, alongside (the recently departed Tomas Lindberg’s) At The Gates and In Flames. By the time we get to this album – their fifth – piano/keyboard and electronics as well as some clean vocals had already been added to their death metal sound. The result is, unexpectedly, rather uplifting music.

Want to read more? See the full spotlight on the Fediverse at https://linernotes.club/@1001otheralbu[email protected] or on the blog: https://1001otheralbums.com/2025/12/29/dark-tranquillity-haven-2000-sweden/

Want to skip straight to the music? Here's the Bandcamp: https://darktranquillity.bandcamp.com/album/haven-re-issue-bonus

Happy listening!

#DarkTranquillity #MelodicDeathMetal #GothenburgMetal #SwedishDeathMetal #metal #Sweden #music #1001OtherAlbums

Dark Tranquillity – Haven (2000, Sweden)

Continuing our journey through the epic Fedi-sourced catalogue of must-hear albums, our next spotlight is on number 185 on The List, submitted by HauntedOwlbear. Formed in 1989, Dark Tranquillity is considered to be one of the pioneering bands of the melodic death metal genre specifically, and of the Gothenburg metal scene in general, alongside (the recently departed Tomas Lindberg’s) At The Gates and In Flames. By the time we get to this album – their fifth – piano/keyboard and electronics as well as some clean vocals had already been added to their death metal sound. The result is, unexpectedly, rather uplifting music.

Want to read more? See the full spotlight on the Fediverse at https://linernotes.club/@1001otheralbu[email protected] or on the blog: https://1001otheralbums.com/2025/12/29/dark-tranquillity-haven-2000-sweden/

Want to skip straight to the music? Here's the Bandcamp: https://darktranquillity.bandcamp.com/album/haven-re-issue-bonus

Happy listening!

#DarkTranquillity #MelodicDeathMetal #GothenburgMetal #SwedishDeathMetal #metal #Sweden #music #1001OtherAlbums

Dark Tranquillity – Haven (2000, Sweden)

Continuing our journey through the epic Fedi-sourced catalogue of must-hear albums, our next spotlight is on number 185 on The List, submitted by HauntedOwlbear. Formed in 1989, Dark Tranquillity is considered to be one of the pioneering bands of the melodic death metal genre specifically, and of the Gothenburg metal scene in general, alongside (the recently departed Tomas Lindberg’s) At The Gates and In Flames. By the time we get to this album – their fifth – piano/keyboard and electronics as well as some clean vocals had already been added to their death metal sound. The result is, unexpectedly, rather uplifting music.

Want to read more? See the full spotlight on the Fediverse at https://linernotes.club/@1001otheralbu[email protected] or on the blog: https://1001otheralbums.com/2025/12/29/dark-tranquillity-haven-2000-sweden/

Want to skip straight to the music? Here's the Bandcamp: https://darktranquillity.bandcamp.com/album/haven-re-issue-bonus

Happy listening!

#DarkTranquillity #MelodicDeathMetal #GothenburgMetal #SwedishDeathMetal #metal #Sweden #music #1001OtherAlbums

Dark Tranquillity – Haven (2000, Sweden)

Our next spotlight is on number 185 on The List, submitted by HauntedOwlbear.

I’m Canadian and a publishing/copy editor by trade, and yet I had no idea until encountering this album that there are two spellings of the second word in the band name: the single el’ed tranquility (i.e., what I previously thought was the only spelling) being the American spelling, the double el’ed tranquillity being the British/Canadian (i.e., correct, for me) spelling. But I digress.

Formed in 1989 and originally named Septic Broiler, Dark Tranquillity is considered to be one of the pioneering bands of the melodic death metal genre specifically, and of the Gothenburg metal scene in general, alongside (the recently departed Tomas Lindberg’s) At The Gates and In Flames. Dark Traquillity’s second LP, The Gallery (1995) is particularly seen as highly influential to the genre.

By the time we get to this album – their fifth – piano/keyboard and electronics as well as some clean vocals had already been added to their death metal sound. And this album is essentially exactly what it says on the box. It’s dark and melancholic yet tranquil in its epic yet subtle approach, a mix that I find rather uplifting if not hopeful, creating a nice little metal haven to hide in for the remainder of this craptastic year. And the band is still going strong (albeit with only singer Mikael Stanne and keyboardist Martin Brändström remaining from Haven‘s lineup), having released their 13th LP Endtime Signals just last year. So, if you enjoy what you hear here, you have a lot of darkly tranquil albums to disappear into for as long as you need.

• Bandcamp: Dark Tranquillity – Haven
• Discogs: Dark Tranquillity – Haven
• Encyclopaedia Metallum: Dark Tranquillity

#DarkTranquillity #GothenburgMetal #ListenToThis #melodicDeathMetal #metal #music #musicDiscovery #Sweden #SwedishDeathMetal #SwedishMetal

Dark Tranquillity – Haven (2000, Sweden)

Our next spotlight is on number 185 on The List, submitted by HauntedOwlbear.

I’m Canadian and a publishing/copy editor by trade, and yet I had no idea until encountering this album that there are two spellings of the second word in the band name: the single el’ed tranquility (i.e., what I previously thought was the only spelling) being the American spelling, the double el’ed tranquillity being the British/Canadian (i.e., correct, for me) spelling. But I digress.

Formed in 1989 and originally named Septic Broiler, Dark Tranquillity is considered to be one of the pioneering bands of the melodic death metal genre specifically, and of the Gothenburg metal scene in general, alongside (the recently departed Tomas Lindberg’s) At The Gates and In Flames. Dark Traquillity’s second LP, The Gallery (1995) is particularly seen as highly influential to the genre.

By the time we get to this album – their fifth – piano/keyboard and electronics as well as some clean vocals had already been added to their death metal sound. And this album is essentially exactly what it says on the box. It’s dark and melancholic yet tranquil in its epic yet subtle approach, a mix that I find rather uplifting if not hopeful, creating a nice little metal haven to hide in for the remainder of this craptastic year. And the band is still going strong (albeit with only singer Mikael Stanne and keyboardist Martin Brändström remaining from Haven‘s lineup), having released their 13th LP Endtime Signals just last year. So, if you enjoy what you hear here, you have a lot of darkly tranquil albums to disappear into for as long as you need.

• Bandcamp: Dark Tranquillity – Haven
• Discogs: Dark Tranquillity – Haven
• Encyclopaedia Metallum: Dark Tranquillity

#DarkTranquillity #GothenburgMetal #ListenToThis #melodicDeathMetal #metal #music #musicDiscovery #Sweden #SwedishDeathMetal #SwedishMetal

Dark Tranquillity – Haven (2000, Sweden)

Our next spotlight is on number 185 on The List, submitted by HauntedOwlbear.

I’m Canadian and a publishing/copy editor by trade, and yet I had no idea until encountering this album that there are two spellings of the second word in the band name: the single el’ed tranquility (i.e., what I previously thought was the only spelling) being the American spelling, the double el’ed tranquillity being the British/Canadian (i.e., correct, for me) spelling. But I digress.

Formed in 1989 and originally named Septic Broiler, Dark Tranquillity is considered to be one of the pioneering bands of the melodic death metal genre specifically, and of the Gothenburg metal scene in general, alongside (the recently departed Tomas Lindberg’s) At The Gates and In Flames. Dark Traquillity’s second LP, The Gallery (1995) is particularly seen as highly influential to the genre.

By the time we get to this album – their fifth – piano/keyboard and electronics as well as some clean vocals had already been added to their death metal sound. And this album is essentially exactly what it says on the box. It’s dark and melancholic yet tranquil in its epic yet subtle approach, a mix that I find rather uplifting if not hopeful, creating a nice little metal haven to hide in for the remainder of this craptastic year. And the band is still going strong (albeit with only singer Mikael Stanne and keyboardist Martin Brändström remaining from Haven‘s lineup), having released their 13th LP Endtime Signals just last year. So, if you enjoy what you hear here, you have a lot of darkly tranquil albums to disappear into for as long as you need.

• Bandcamp: Dark Tranquillity – Haven
• Discogs: Dark Tranquillity – Haven
• Encyclopaedia Metallum: Dark Tranquillity

#DarkTranquillity #GothenburgMetal #ListenToThis #melodicDeathMetal #metal #music #musicDiscovery #Sweden #SwedishDeathMetal #SwedishMetal

Dark Tranquillity – Haven (2000, Sweden)

Our next spotlight is on number 185 on The List, submitted by HauntedOwlbear.

I’m Canadian and a publishing/copy editor by trade, and yet I had no idea until encountering this album that there are two spellings of the second word in the band name: the single el’ed tranquility (i.e., what I previously thought was the only spelling) being the American spelling, the double el’ed tranquillity being the British/Canadian (i.e., correct, for me) spelling. But I digress.

Formed in 1989 and originally named Septic Broiler, Dark Tranquillity is considered to be one of the pioneering bands of the melodic death metal genre specifically, and of the Gothenburg metal scene in general, alongside (the recently departed Tomas Lindberg’s) At The Gates and In Flames. Dark Traquillity’s second LP, The Gallery (1995) is particularly seen as highly influential to the genre.

By the time we get to this album – their fifth – piano/keyboard and electronics as well as some clean vocals had already been added to their death metal sound. And this album is essentially exactly what it says on the box. It’s dark and melancholic yet tranquil in its epic yet subtle approach, a mix that I find rather uplifting if not hopeful, creating a nice little metal haven to hide in for the remainder of this craptastic year. And the band is still going strong (albeit with only singer Mikael Stanne and keyboardist Martin Brändström remaining from Haven‘s lineup), having released their 13th LP Endtime Signals just last year. So, if you enjoy what you hear here, you have a lot of darkly tranquil albums to disappear into for as long as you need.

• Bandcamp: Dark Tranquillity – Haven
• Discogs: Dark Tranquillity – Haven
• Encyclopaedia Metallum: Dark Tranquillity

#DarkTranquillity #GothenburgMetal #ListenToThis #melodicDeathMetal #metal #music #musicDiscovery #Sweden #SwedishDeathMetal #SwedishMetal

Dark Tranquillity – Haven (2000, Sweden)

Our next spotlight is on number 185 on The List, submitted by HauntedOwlbear.

I’m Canadian and a publishing/copy editor by trade, and yet I had no idea until encountering this album that there are two spellings of the second word in the band name: the single el’ed tranquility (i.e., what I previously thought was the only spelling) being the American spelling, the double el’ed tranquillity being the British/Canadian (i.e., correct, for me) spelling. But I digress.

Formed in 1989 and originally named Septic Broiler, Dark Tranquillity is considered to be one of the pioneering bands of the melodic death metal genre specifically, and of the Gothenburg metal scene in general, alongside (the recently departed Tomas Lindberg’s) At The Gates and In Flames. Dark Traquillity’s second LP, The Gallery (1995) is particularly seen as highly influential to the genre.

By the time we get to this album – their fifth – piano/keyboard and electronics as well as some clean vocals had already been added to their death metal sound. And this album is essentially exactly what it says on the box. It’s dark and melancholic yet tranquil in its epic yet subtle approach, a mix that I find rather uplifting if not hopeful, creating a nice little metal haven to hide in for the remainder of this craptastic year. And the band is still going strong (albeit with only singer Mikael Stanne and keyboardist Martin Brändström remaining from Haven‘s lineup), having released their 13th LP Endtime Signals just last year. So, if you enjoy what you hear here, you have a lot of darkly tranquil albums to disappear into for as long as you need.

• Bandcamp: Dark Tranquillity – Haven
• Discogs: Dark Tranquillity – Haven
• Encyclopaedia Metallum: Dark Tranquillity

#DarkTranquillity #GothenburgMetal #ListenToThis #melodicDeathMetal #metal #music #musicDiscovery #Sweden #SwedishDeathMetal #SwedishMetal

DARK TRANQUILLITY (Suècia) presenta nou Boxed set: "1991 - 2025" #DarkTranquillity #MelodicDeathMetal #Desembre2025 #Suècia #NouBoxedSet #Metall #Metal #MúsicaMetal #MetalMusic

DARK TRANQUILLITY (Suècia) presenta nou Boxed set: "1991 - 2025" #DarkTranquillity #MelodicDeathMetal #Desembre2025 #Suècia #NouBoxedSet #Metall #Metal #MúsicaMetal #MetalMusic

https://www.europesays.com/es/282793/ 70000TONS OF METAL nos recuerda sus propuestas más exclusivas: repertorio de Paradise Lost votado por los fans, reunión de Izegrim en primicia y la Allstar Jam en el crucero metalero más grande del mundo #70000tonsOfMetal #AllStarJam #AMORPHIS #ANTHRAX #arkona #BEASTINBLACK #BloodredHourglass #CemeterySkyline #DarkTranquillity #Darkane #Entertainment #Entretenimiento #ES #España #Izegrim #MR2022 #Music #Música #PARADISELOST #Spain

Cemetery Skyline and Tribulation: Joint Finland tour announced for May 2026 https://www.byteseu.com/1601318/ #Amorphis #CemeterySkyline #DarkTranquillity #DimmuBorgir #Entombed #Finland #GrandCadaver #Hammerfall #IAmTheNightHorde #InFlames #Insomnium #OmniumGatherum #Satyricon #Sentenced #TheAbbey #TheHaloEffect #TheManEatingTree #Tribulation #witchery

Dark Tranquillity, The Crown & The Halo Effect set for Tomas Lindberg tribute concert:

#DarkTranquillity #TheCrown #TheHaloEffect #AtTheGates #TomasLindbergTribute

Link: https://metalinsider.net/news/dark-tranquillity-the-crown-the-halo-effect-set-for-tomas-lindberg-tribute-concert

Stuck in the Filter: September 2025’s Angry Misses

By Kenstrosity

At last, a burst of cool calms the blood after a brutal summer, and the leaves are turning. Which means I was able to recruit a bunch of grubby little leaf-lookers off the highway to serve as minions to my ever-needy Filter! With a temporarily replenished staff of fools who are unwittingly risking their lives for mere nuggets, I conduct with renewed vigor the search for quality finds.

Today, I bring you those finds, in all of their sparkly glory. WITNESS THEM!

Kenstrosity’s Jaunty Juke

Jordsjuk // Naglet til livet [September 19th, 2025 – Indie Recordings]

The lack of conversation I’ve seen surrounding this Norwegian black metal riff machine is highly disconcerting. Brought to my attention by my wonderfully wise—and devilshly handsome—owlpal1 from… GASP… another blog, Jordsjuk’s debut LP Naglet til livet has my spine whipping to a fro from the onset of ripping opener “Kollaps.” The whiplash doesn’t stop there as thrashy numbers “Grovt skadeverk” and “Skreddersøm” body me against several walls and even a couple of ceilings. For 36 relentless minutes, with only one song pushing the four minute mark, Naglet til livet is an unqualified triumph of editing and tight, effective songwriting. My immediate comparison is 2007-2013 Skeletonwitch, but some of these riffs, like the turbobangers on “Parasitt,” “Rottebitt,” “Klarhet og dybde,” and “Rennestein,” give those hallowed skellybois a serious run for their money. When they aren’t thrashing, Jordsjuk shift into a dour, but still ravenous black metal shadow. Wraiths like “Riv skorpen av såret” and “Svikter din neste” showcase this looming character quite well, and prove Jordsjuk to be dynamic, versatile songwriters. In short, Naglet til livet is a raucous good time for anyone craving black metal with sharp teeth and limitless energy.

Baguette’s Bouncy Blessing

Arjen Anthony Lucassen // Songs No One Will Hear [September 12th, 2025 – Inside Out Music]

A year without an Arjen record would be a much lesser one. It’s not often the crazy Dutchman reuses a non-Ayreon project title, but here we have his fourth solo album becoming the second under the full Arjen Anthony Lucassen name! Dropping 13 years after the previous one, Songs No One Will Hear announces the end of the world is a mere five months away, its tracks depicting the resulting stages of chaos, disarray, and human silliness. It doesn’t fall far off the catchy and melodic Arjen tree but casts a wider net than prior prog rock adventures. Much of the record reflects different eras of Ayreon, including the ’70s prog whimsy of Into the Electric Castle (“Dr. Slumber’s Blue Bus”) and the fun ’80s metal edge of The Source (“Goddamn Conspiracy”). Closing epic “Our Final Song” is a microcosm of his musical breadth, shapeshifting from Jethro Tull flute shenanigans to analog synth ambience to dramatic riff bombast at will. But it’s “The Clock Ticks Down” that steals the spotlight, marking a brief return to the dark, somber grit of Guilt Machine and 01011001. It’s an unusually normal-sized album from Mr. Lucassen as well, the regular, unnarrated version being only 46 minutes and change. A condensed, jovial jack-of-all-trades showcase with many of the usual great guest musician and vocalist selections! And it’s always nice to hear him sing more, too.

Thus Spoke’s Lurid Leftovers

Fauna // Ochre and Ash [September 26th, 2025 – Lupus Lounge/Prophecy Productions]

It’s been 13 years since Cascadian black metal duo Fauna released Avifauna, to quiet yet great acclaim. Given their preoccupation with human prehistory, they might just be operating on a larger timescale than you or I. Ochre and Ash—the two main ingredients used in ancient cave paintings—is an attempt to invoke the spirit of forgotten ceremonies during which the stories of the people were immortalised on stone. Building on an atmospheric black metal base familiar in their better-known exemplars Wolves in the Throne Room and Agalloch, Fauna give Ochre and Ash a distinctive edge by roaming further afield into the experimental. For every metal-dominated track (“Nature & Madness,” “Labyrinths,” “Eternal Return”), there is an ambient, decidedly unsettling counterpart (“A Conjuring,” “Femoral Sun,” “Mockery”), and the latter are not interludes, but integral parts of the ritual. Each infuses skin-prickling drone with eerie chimes and rattles, and uncomfortable vocalisations ranging from moans and wails to laughter and the howling, yipping cries of animals—or humans mimicking them. In their repetition of haunting, hollow sounds, they are both frightening and trance-inducing. Ochre and Ash’s metallic segments are no less ominous, treading as they do between confrontationally turbulent atmoblack2 and diSEMBOWELMENT-adjacent death doom that puts me right back in the void of madness last year’s Spectral Voice generated. This is not a casual listen, and Fauna could have helped it a bit with some editing, as the weirdness combined with an excessive 70-minute runtime makes some longer passages feel tired and could be off-putting to some. Still, it’s an experience I’d recommend trying at least once.

Spicie Forrest’s Sautéed Surplus

Piece // Rambler’s Axe [September 5th, 2025 – This Charming Man Records]

Finding gym metal has always proven difficult for me. It’s not about the fastest or loudest, but about striking a balance between weight and pace. Rambler’s Axe fits the bill nicely. Influenced by the likes of Crowbar and High on Fire, these Berlin-based doomsters peddle raucous and sludgy heavy metal. There’s a bit of Conan in Piece’s DNA, too, making sure to worship each riff long enough for you to make it through any given set. Beefy basslines and aggressive, chiseled drums make it easy to drop into a groove and get your pump on. Faster cuts like “Demigod” and “Rambler’s Axe” go great with chest flies and leg press, but they’ve got tracks for bench press and deadlifts too. “Bastard Sword” and “Owl Eyes” rumble forward like the slow but inevitable rise of the barbell at max weight. Whether marching or running, baritone shouts like tank treads hang over riffs just looking for an excuse to blow off steam. Whatever your reason for visiting the glorious house of gains, Piece has your soundtrack covered.

Heruvim // Mercator [September 12th, 2025 – Self-Release]

As each passing year leaves the almighty Bolt Thrower further in the past, the yearning for that sound grows. I was quite surprised to find a small amount of solace in Heruvim, hailing from Odesa, Ukraine. I say small solace, because debut LP Mercator is more than just a clone. Augmented with the unsettling atmosphere of early Pestilence and the vocal malevolence of Sinister, this platter of old school death metal carves its own niche in a storied scene. Off-kilter leads bubble up and spew out of a murky, tarred rhythm section like prehistoric gases in a primordial soup (“Gnosis,” “Lacrimae Rerum”). Lachrymose, doom-laden passages and violent death threats trade back and forth, anchored by volatile blast beats and percussive assaults in the vein of Cannibal Corpse (“Nulla Res,” “Mercator”). Stitched together with eerie, short-and-sweet interludes, Mercator’s lean 30 minutes fly by and always leave me itching for more. Heruvim riffs on a slew of classic sounds, creating a casual brutality and primal barbarism that is both compelling and uniquely their own.

ClarkKent’s Melodic Monstrosities

Galundo Tenvulance // Insomnis Somnia [September 17th, 2025 – Spiritual Beast Records]

Falling somewhere between symphonic deathcore acts Assemble the Chariots and Grimnis enters Japan’s Galundo Tenvulance. On their second full-length LP, Insomnis Somnia, the sextet demonstrates raw power and frenetic energy throughout its 41-minute runtime. Songs are anchored by catchy melodic leads, atmospheric symphonies, and punishing, relentless kitwork (no drummer is credited, so hopefully it’s not programmed). Galundo Tenvulance’s new vocalist, Sao, delivers the goods, bringing a spirited energy to her performance that elevates the already terrific material. While the symphonics don’t quite elevate the music the same way they do for Assemble the Chariots, it’s the melodic riffs that make these guys stand out. “Noble Rot” is the highlight, with a killer lead riff that uses harmonics to add just that extra bit of oomph. Other highlights include the catchy “Regret Never Sleeps,” evoking Character-era Dark Tranquillity, and “In The Realms of the Unreal,” which demonstrates their ability to transform solos into surprising melodies. This might be too good to have landed in the filter, but with my TYMHM slots filled up, it’s better than nothing.

Mortal Scepter // Ethereal Dominance [September 9th, 2025 – Xtreem Music]

As if we didn’t have enough thrash floating in the filter, French outfit Mortal Scepter finds itself as yet another piece of thrash dredged from the muck. This quartet has been around since 2012, yet Ethereal Dominance is only their second full-length release. Their sound lands somewhere between the melodic thrash of Bloodletter and the mania of Deathhammer—though a touch less zany. The persistent level of energy these bands can maintain never ceases to amaze me. While the constant beat of drum blasts threatens to make thrash songs sound too similar, the variety of melodies Mortal Scepter delivers ensures that things never grow repetitive. They have a raw, blackened sound that feels immediate and in your face. Drummer Guillaume keeps an impressive pace with fresh-sounding, nonstop blast beats, while vocalist Lucas Scellier snarls with enthusiasm, with a voice comparable to Deathhammer’s Sergeant Salsten. However, it’s the guitars by Maxime and Scellier that really bring the band to life, from the noodly melodies to the dynamic, lengthy, and impressive solos on each song. These guys prove they are more than just simple thrash metallers on the epic thrash, ten-minute finale, “Into the Wolves Den,” which uses a mix of tempo shifts and hooky melodies to make the song just fly by. With this second LP under their belts, these guys have proven themselves an exciting newish band on the thrash scene.

Grin Reaper’s Woodland Windfall

Autrest // Burning Embers, Forgotten Wolves [September 5th, 2025 – Northern Silence Productions]

Burning Embers, Forgotten Wolves merges atmospheric black metal with nature, resuming Autrest’s vision from debut Follow the Cold Path. Like Saor or Falls of Rauros, stunning melodies play across untamed backdrops that stir heartstrings in unexpected ways. Ethereal keys, mournful strings, and rapid-fire tremolos impeccably capture Burning Embers, Forgotten Wolves’ autumnal artwork, bringing Autrest’s imagery to life. Harsh vocals sit back in the mix, evoking windswept trees as cool harvest gusts leach branches of color, while sporadic baritone cleans add variation. “Lobos (Offering)” sets the stage with melancholic guitar plucks bolstered by forlorn strings, giving way to a controlled spark as “Ashes from the Burning Embers” ratchets up roiling vigor. Through forty-two minutes, Autrest expertly guides listeners across shifting landscapes that are delightful in their earnestness. Mastermind Matheus Vidor establishes himself as a preeminent architect of mood, channeling transitions from gentle, wonder-filled serenity to unyielding wrath. The dynamic between aggression and introspection is marvelous, permeating the album with emotion. While I could understand a complaint that some songs blur together, the spirit of Burning Embers, Forgotten Wolves is never stale or disposable. Rather, Autrest has taken what began two years ago and enriched it, composing an ode to self-discovery and transformation.3 My own experience with the music conjures wilderness’s last hurrah before succumbing to winter’s embrace. As days grow shorter and temperatures drop,4 I encourage you to seek refuge and draw warmth from these Burning Embers.

Dolphin Whisperer’s Very Not Late Novella

Sterveling // Sterveling [September 26th, 2025 – Self Release]

Between the world of atmospheric and post-tinged black metal, there exists a twisted form of progressive music that teeters about brooding moods and crackling tones to explore shrieking sadness and profound sorrow. Michiel van der Werff (Prospectors, Weltschmerz), primary Dutch proprietor of Sterveling, places his expressive guitar runs and lurching rhythm clangs in the company of trusted friends to carry out his tortured, baroque vision of black metal. Against the hissing design of synth maestro and Prospectors bandmate Matthias Ruijgrok, a fullness and warping warmth pervades the spacious amp textures and muscular rhythmic framework of each piece. And through the bloodied cries of Weltschmerz bandmate Hreim, a vocal lightning flashes to illuminate the nooks between pulsing synth lines and deathly bursts of full tremolo assault. In three longform pieces, all still totaling a generous forty-two minutes, Sterveling tints a monochrome narrative with vibrant shades from thoughtful tones and well-timed, emotional escalations. Committed to each careful iteration on a melody, the woven Sterveling web grows ever stickier with every passing moment, none of the ten-minute-plus excursions ever feeling even close to their declared runtimes. And with a sound construction that hits delicate yet forceful, creaking yet incising, it’s easy to wander through several journeys on this debut outing before realizing what time has passed. Fans of equally forlorn acts like Tongues or Andalvald will feel more at home here than others. But with a tonal palette that’s as inviting as it is crushing, Sterveling should attract the ears of fans across the extreme spectrum.

#2025 #agalloch #americanMetal #andavald #arjenAnthonyLucassen #assembleTheChariots #atmosphericBlackMetal #autrest #ayreon #blackMetal #bloodletter #boltThrower #brazillianMetal #burningEmbersForgottenWolves #cannibalCorpse #conan #crowbar #darkTranquillity #deathDoom #deathMetal #deathcore #deathhammer #disembowelment #doomMetal #dutchMetal #etherealDominance #fallsOfRauros #fauna #frenchMetal #galundoTenvulance #grimnis #guiltMachine #heruvim #highOnFire #independentRelease #indieRecordings #insideoutMusic #insomnisSomnia #japaneseMetal #jethroTull #jordsjuk #lupusLounge #melodicBlackMetal #melodicDeathMetal #melodicThrashMetal #mercator #mortalScepter #nagletTilLivet #northernSilenceProductions #norwegianMetal #ochreAndAsh #pestilence #piece #postBlackMetal #progressiveBlackMetal #progressiveMetal #progressiveRock #prophecyProductions #ramblersAxe #review #reviews #saor #selfRelease #selfReleased #sep25 #sinister #skeletonwitch #sludge #sludgeMetal #songsNoOneWillHear #spectralVoice #sterveling #stuckInTheFilter #stuckInTheFilter2025 #symphonicDeathcore #thisCharmingManRecords #thrashMetal #tongues #ukrainianMetal #wolvesInTheThroneRoom

Stuck in the Filter: September 2025’s Angry Misses

By Kenstrosity

At last, a burst of cool calms the blood after a brutal summer, and the leaves are turning. Which means I was able to recruit a bunch of grubby little leaf-lookers off the highway to serve as minions to my ever-needy Filter! With a temporarily replenished staff of fools who are unwittingly risking their lives for mere nuggets, I conduct with renewed vigor the search for quality finds.

Today, I bring you those finds, in all of their sparkly glory. WITNESS THEM!

Kenstrosity’s Jaunty Juke

Jordsjuk // Naglet til livet [September 19th, 2025 – Indie Recordings]

The lack of conversation I’ve seen surrounding this Norwegian black metal riff machine is highly disconcerting. Brought to my attention by my wonderfully wise—and devilshly handsome—owlpal1 from… GASP… another blog, Jordsjuk’s debut LP Naglet til livet has my spine whipping to a fro from the onset of ripping opener “Kollaps.” The whiplash doesn’t stop there as thrashy numbers “Grovt skadeverk” and “Skreddersøm” body me against several walls and even a couple of ceilings. For 36 relentless minutes, with only one song pushing the four minute mark, Naglet til livet is an unqualified triumph of editing and tight, effective songwriting. My immediate comparison is 2007-2013 Skeletonwitch, but some of these riffs, like the turbobangers on “Parasitt,” “Rottebitt,” “Klarhet og dybde,” and “Rennestein,” give those hallowed skellybois a serious run for their money. When they aren’t thrashing, Jordsjuk shift into a dour, but still ravenous black metal shadow. Wraiths like “Riv skorpen av såret” and “Svikter din neste” showcase this looming character quite well, and prove Jordsjuk to be dynamic, versatile songwriters. In short, Naglet til livet is a raucous good time for anyone craving black metal with sharp teeth and limitless energy.

Baguette’s Bouncy Blessing

Arjen Anthony Lucassen // Songs No One Will Hear [September 12th, 2025 – Inside Out Music]

A year without an Arjen record would be a much lesser one. It’s not often the crazy Dutchman reuses a non-Ayreon project title, but here we have his fourth solo album becoming the second under the full Arjen Anthony Lucassen name! Dropping 13 years after the previous one, Songs No One Will Hear announces the end of the world is a mere five months away, its tracks depicting the resulting stages of chaos, disarray, and human silliness. It doesn’t fall far off the catchy and melodic Arjen tree but casts a wider net than prior prog rock adventures. Much of the record reflects different eras of Ayreon, including the ’70s prog whimsy of Into the Electric Castle (“Dr. Slumber’s Blue Bus”) and the fun ’80s metal edge of The Source (“Goddamn Conspiracy”). Closing epic “Our Final Song” is a microcosm of his musical breadth, shapeshifting from Jethro Tull flute shenanigans to analog synth ambience to dramatic riff bombast at will. But it’s “The Clock Ticks Down” that steals the spotlight, marking a brief return to the dark, somber grit of Guilt Machine and 01011001. It’s an unusually normal-sized album from Mr. Lucassen as well, the regular, unnarrated version being only 46 minutes and change. A condensed, jovial jack-of-all-trades showcase with many of the usual great guest musician and vocalist selections! And it’s always nice to hear him sing more, too.

Thus Spoke’s Lurid Leftovers

Fauna // Ochre and Ash [September 26th, 2025 – Lupus Lounge/Prophecy Productions]

It’s been 13 years since Cascadian black metal duo Fauna released Avifauna, to quiet yet great acclaim. Given their preoccupation with human prehistory, they might just be operating on a larger timescale than you or I. Ochre and Ash—the two main ingredients used in ancient cave paintings—is an attempt to invoke the spirit of forgotten ceremonies during which the stories of the people were immortalised on stone. Building on an atmospheric black metal base familiar in their better-known exemplars Wolves in the Throne Room and Agalloch, Fauna give Ochre and Ash a distinctive edge by roaming further afield into the experimental. For every metal-dominated track (“Nature & Madness,” “Labyrinths,” “Eternal Return”), there is an ambient, decidedly unsettling counterpart (“A Conjuring,” “Femoral Sun,” “Mockery”), and the latter are not interludes, but integral parts of the ritual. Each infuses skin-prickling drone with eerie chimes and rattles, and uncomfortable vocalisations ranging from moans and wails to laughter and the howling, yipping cries of animals—or humans mimicking them. In their repetition of haunting, hollow sounds, they are both frightening and trance-inducing. Ochre and Ash’s metallic segments are no less ominous, treading as they do between confrontationally turbulent atmoblack2 and diSEMBOWELMENT-adjacent death doom that puts me right back in the void of madness last year’s Spectral Voice generated. This is not a casual listen, and Fauna could have helped it a bit with some editing, as the weirdness combined with an excessive 70-minute runtime makes some longer passages feel tired and could be off-putting to some. Still, it’s an experience I’d recommend trying at least once.

Spicie Forrest’s Sautéed Surplus

Piece // Rambler’s Axe [September 5th, 2025 – This Charming Man Records]

Finding gym metal has always proven difficult for me. It’s not about the fastest or loudest, but about striking a balance between weight and pace. Rambler’s Axe fits the bill nicely. Influenced by the likes of Crowbar and High on Fire, these Berlin-based doomsters peddle raucous and sludgy heavy metal. There’s a bit of Conan in Piece’s DNA, too, making sure to worship each riff long enough for you to make it through any given set. Beefy basslines and aggressive, chiseled drums make it easy to drop into a groove and get your pump on. Faster cuts like “Demigod” and “Rambler’s Axe” go great with chest flies and leg press, but they’ve got tracks for bench press and deadlifts too. “Bastard Sword” and “Owl Eyes” rumble forward like the slow but inevitable rise of the barbell at max weight. Whether marching or running, baritone shouts like tank treads hang over riffs just looking for an excuse to blow off steam. Whatever your reason for visiting the glorious house of gains, Piece has your soundtrack covered.

Heruvim // Mercator [September 12th, 2025 – Self-Release]

As each passing year leaves the almighty Bolt Thrower further in the past, the yearning for that sound grows. I was quite surprised to find a small amount of solace in Heruvim, hailing from Odesa, Ukraine. I say small solace, because debut LP Mercator is more than just a clone. Augmented with the unsettling atmosphere of early Pestilence and the vocal malevolence of Sinister, this platter of old school death metal carves its own niche in a storied scene. Off-kilter leads bubble up and spew out of a murky, tarred rhythm section like prehistoric gases in a primordial soup (“Gnosis,” “Lacrimae Rerum”). Lachrymose, doom-laden passages and violent death threats trade back and forth, anchored by volatile blast beats and percussive assaults in the vein of Cannibal Corpse (“Nulla Res,” “Mercator”). Stitched together with eerie, short-and-sweet interludes, Mercator’s lean 30 minutes fly by and always leave me itching for more. Heruvim riffs on a slew of classic sounds, creating a casual brutality and primal barbarism that is both compelling and uniquely their own.

ClarkKent’s Melodic Monstrosities

Galundo Tenvulance // Insomnis Somnia [September 17th, 2025 – Spiritual Beast Records]

Falling somewhere between symphonic deathcore acts Assemble the Chariots and Grimnis enters Japan’s Galundo Tenvulance. On their second full-length LP, Insomnis Somnia, the sextet demonstrates raw power and frenetic energy throughout its 41-minute runtime. Songs are anchored by catchy melodic leads, atmospheric symphonies, and punishing, relentless kitwork (no drummer is credited, so hopefully it’s not programmed). Galundo Tenvulance’s new vocalist, Sao, delivers the goods, bringing a spirited energy to her performance that elevates the already terrific material. While the symphonics don’t quite elevate the music the same way they do for Assemble the Chariots, it’s the melodic riffs that make these guys stand out. “Noble Rot” is the highlight, with a killer lead riff that uses harmonics to add just that extra bit of oomph. Other highlights include the catchy “Regret Never Sleeps,” evoking Character-era Dark Tranquillity, and “In The Realms of the Unreal,” which demonstrates their ability to transform solos into surprising melodies. This might be too good to have landed in the filter, but with my TYMHM slots filled up, it’s better than nothing.

Mortal Scepter // Ethereal Dominance [September 9th, 2025 – Xtreem Music]

As if we didn’t have enough thrash floating in the filter, French outfit Mortal Scepter finds itself as yet another piece of thrash dredged from the muck. This quartet has been around since 2012, yet Ethereal Dominance is only their second full-length release. Their sound lands somewhere between the melodic thrash of Bloodletter and the mania of Deathhammer—though a touch less zany. The persistent level of energy these bands can maintain never ceases to amaze me. While the constant beat of drum blasts threatens to make thrash songs sound too similar, the variety of melodies Mortal Scepter delivers ensures that things never grow repetitive. They have a raw, blackened sound that feels immediate and in your face. Drummer Guillaume keeps an impressive pace with fresh-sounding, nonstop blast beats, while vocalist Lucas Scellier snarls with enthusiasm, with a voice comparable to Deathhammer’s Sergeant Salsten. However, it’s the guitars by Maxime and Scellier that really bring the band to life, from the noodly melodies to the dynamic, lengthy, and impressive solos on each song. These guys prove they are more than just simple thrash metallers on the epic thrash, ten-minute finale, “Into the Wolves Den,” which uses a mix of tempo shifts and hooky melodies to make the song just fly by. With this second LP under their belts, these guys have proven themselves an exciting newish band on the thrash scene.

Grin Reaper’s Woodland Windfall

Autrest // Burning Embers, Forgotten Wolves [September 5th, 2025 – Northern Silence Productions]

Burning Embers, Forgotten Wolves merges atmospheric black metal with nature, resuming Autrest’s vision from debut Follow the Cold Path. Like Saor or Falls of Rauros, stunning melodies play across untamed backdrops that stir heartstrings in unexpected ways. Ethereal keys, mournful strings, and rapid-fire tremolos impeccably capture Burning Embers, Forgotten Wolves’ autumnal artwork, bringing Autrest’s imagery to life. Harsh vocals sit back in the mix, evoking windswept trees as cool harvest gusts leach branches of color, while sporadic baritone cleans add variation. “Lobos (Offering)” sets the stage with melancholic guitar plucks bolstered by forlorn strings, giving way to a controlled spark as “Ashes from the Burning Embers” ratchets up roiling vigor. Through forty-two minutes, Autrest expertly guides listeners across shifting landscapes that are delightful in their earnestness. Mastermind Matheus Vidor establishes himself as a preeminent architect of mood, channeling transitions from gentle, wonder-filled serenity to unyielding wrath. The dynamic between aggression and introspection is marvelous, permeating the album with emotion. While I could understand a complaint that some songs blur together, the spirit of Burning Embers, Forgotten Wolves is never stale or disposable. Rather, Autrest has taken what began two years ago and enriched it, composing an ode to self-discovery and transformation.3 My own experience with the music conjures wilderness’s last hurrah before succumbing to winter’s embrace. As days grow shorter and temperatures drop,4 I encourage you to seek refuge and draw warmth from these Burning Embers.

Dolphin Whisperer’s Very Not Late Novella

Sterveling // Sterveling [September 26th, 2025 – Self Release]

Between the world of atmospheric and post-tinged black metal, there exists a twisted form of progressive music that teeters about brooding moods and crackling tones to explore shrieking sadness and profound sorrow. Michiel van der Werff (Prospectors, Weltschmerz), primary Dutch proprietor of Sterveling, places his expressive guitar runs and lurching rhythm clangs in the company of trusted friends to carry out his tortured, baroque vision of black metal. Against the hissing design of synth maestro and Prospectors bandmate Matthias Ruijgrok, a fullness and warping warmth pervades the spacious amp textures and muscular rhythmic framework of each piece. And through the bloodied cries of Weltschmerz bandmate Hreim, a vocal lightning flashes to illuminate the nooks between pulsing synth lines and deathly bursts of full tremolo assault. In three longform pieces, all still totaling a generous forty-two minutes, Sterveling tints a monochrome narrative with vibrant shades from thoughtful tones and well-timed, emotional escalations. Committed to each careful iteration on a melody, the woven Sterveling web grows ever stickier with every passing moment, none of the ten-minute-plus excursions ever feeling even close to their declared runtimes. And with a sound construction that hits delicate yet forceful, creaking yet incising, it’s easy to wander through several journeys on this debut outing before realizing what time has passed. Fans of equally forlorn acts like Tongues or Andalvald will feel more at home here than others. But with a tonal palette that’s as inviting as it is crushing, Sterveling should attract the ears of fans across the extreme spectrum.

#2025 #agalloch #americanMetal #andavald #arjenAnthonyLucassen #assembleTheChariots #atmosphericBlackMetal #autrest #ayreon #blackMetal #bloodletter #boltThrower #brazillianMetal #burningEmbersForgottenWolves #cannibalCorpse #conan #crowbar #darkTranquillity #deathDoom #deathMetal #deathcore #deathhammer #disembowelment #doomMetal #dutchMetal #etherealDominance #fallsOfRauros #fauna #frenchMetal #galundoTenvulance #grimnis #guiltMachine #heruvim #highOnFire #independentRelease #indieRecordings #insideoutMusic #insomnisSomnia #japaneseMetal #jethroTull #jordsjuk #lupusLounge #melodicBlackMetal #melodicDeathMetal #melodicThrashMetal #mercator #mortalScepter #nagletTilLivet #northernSilenceProductions #norwegianMetal #ochreAndAsh #pestilence #piece #postBlackMetal #progressiveBlackMetal #progressiveMetal #progressiveRock #prophecyProductions #ramblersAxe #review #reviews #saor #selfRelease #selfReleased #sep25 #sinister #skeletonwitch #sludge #sludgeMetal #songsNoOneWillHear #spectralVoice #sterveling #stuckInTheFilter #stuckInTheFilter2025 #symphonicDeathcore #thisCharmingManRecords #thrashMetal #tongues #ukrainianMetal #wolvesInTheThroneRoom

Stuck in the Filter: September 2025’s Angry Misses

By Kenstrosity

At last, a burst of cool calms the blood after a brutal summer, and the leaves are turning. Which means I was able to recruit a bunch of grubby little leaf-lookers off the highway to serve as minions to my ever-needy Filter! With a temporarily replenished staff of fools who are unwittingly risking their lives for mere nuggets, I conduct with renewed vigor the search for quality finds.

Today, I bring you those finds, in all of their sparkly glory. WITNESS THEM!

Kenstrosity’s Jaunty Juke

Jordsjuk // Naglet til livet [September 19th, 2025 – Indie Recordings]

The lack of conversation I’ve seen surrounding this Norwegian black metal riff machine is highly disconcerting. Brought to my attention by my wonderfully wise—and devilshly handsome—owlpal1 from… GASP… another blog, Jordsjuk’s debut LP Naglet til livet has my spine whipping to a fro from the onset of ripping opener “Kollaps.” The whiplash doesn’t stop there as thrashy numbers “Grovt skadeverk” and “Skreddersøm” body me against several walls and even a couple of ceilings. For 36 relentless minutes, with only one song pushing the four minute mark, Naglet til livet is an unqualified triumph of editing and tight, effective songwriting. My immediate comparison is 2007-2013 Skeletonwitch, but some of these riffs, like the turbobangers on “Parasitt,” “Rottebitt,” “Klarhet og dybde,” and “Rennestein,” give those hallowed skellybois a serious run for their money. When they aren’t thrashing, Jordsjuk shift into a dour, but still ravenous black metal shadow. Wraiths like “Riv skorpen av såret” and “Svikter din neste” showcase this looming character quite well, and prove Jordsjuk to be dynamic, versatile songwriters. In short, Naglet til livet is a raucous good time for anyone craving black metal with sharp teeth and limitless energy.

Baguette’s Bouncy Blessing

Arjen Anthony Lucassen // Songs No One Will Hear [September 12th, 2025 – Inside Out Music]

A year without an Arjen record would be a much lesser one. It’s not often the crazy Dutchman reuses a non-Ayreon project title, but here we have his fourth solo album becoming the second under the full Arjen Anthony Lucassen name! Dropping 13 years after the previous one, Songs No One Will Hear announces the end of the world is a mere five months away, its tracks depicting the resulting stages of chaos, disarray, and human silliness. It doesn’t fall far off the catchy and melodic Arjen tree but casts a wider net than prior prog rock adventures. Much of the record reflects different eras of Ayreon, including the ’70s prog whimsy of Into the Electric Castle (“Dr. Slumber’s Blue Bus”) and the fun ’80s metal edge of The Source (“Goddamn Conspiracy”). Closing epic “Our Final Song” is a microcosm of his musical breadth, shapeshifting from Jethro Tull flute shenanigans to analog synth ambience to dramatic riff bombast at will. But it’s “The Clock Ticks Down” that steals the spotlight, marking a brief return to the dark, somber grit of Guilt Machine and 01011001. It’s an unusually normal-sized album from Mr. Lucassen as well, the regular, unnarrated version being only 46 minutes and change. A condensed, jovial jack-of-all-trades showcase with many of the usual great guest musician and vocalist selections! And it’s always nice to hear him sing more, too.

Thus Spoke’s Lurid Leftovers

Fauna // Ochre and Ash [September 26th, 2025 – Lupus Lounge/Prophecy Productions]

It’s been 13 years since Cascadian black metal duo Fauna released Avifauna, to quiet yet great acclaim. Given their preoccupation with human prehistory, they might just be operating on a larger timescale than you or I. Ochre and Ash—the two main ingredients used in ancient cave paintings—is an attempt to invoke the spirit of forgotten ceremonies during which the stories of the people were immortalised on stone. Building on an atmospheric black metal base familiar in their better-known exemplars Wolves in the Throne Room and Agalloch, Fauna give Ochre and Ash a distinctive edge by roaming further afield into the experimental. For every metal-dominated track (“Nature & Madness,” “Labyrinths,” “Eternal Return”), there is an ambient, decidedly unsettling counterpart (“A Conjuring,” “Femoral Sun,” “Mockery”), and the latter are not interludes, but integral parts of the ritual. Each infuses skin-prickling drone with eerie chimes and rattles, and uncomfortable vocalisations ranging from moans and wails to laughter and the howling, yipping cries of animals—or humans mimicking them. In their repetition of haunting, hollow sounds, they are both frightening and trance-inducing. Ochre and Ash’s metallic segments are no less ominous, treading as they do between confrontationally turbulent atmoblack2 and diSEMBOWELMENT-adjacent death doom that puts me right back in the void of madness last year’s Spectral Voice generated. This is not a casual listen, and Fauna could have helped it a bit with some editing, as the weirdness combined with an excessive 70-minute runtime makes some longer passages feel tired and could be off-putting to some. Still, it’s an experience I’d recommend trying at least once.

Spicie Forrest’s Sautéed Surplus

Piece // Rambler’s Axe [September 5th, 2025 – This Charming Man Records]

Finding gym metal has always proven difficult for me. It’s not about the fastest or loudest, but about striking a balance between weight and pace. Rambler’s Axe fits the bill nicely. Influenced by the likes of Crowbar and High on Fire, these Berlin-based doomsters peddle raucous and sludgy heavy metal. There’s a bit of Conan in Piece’s DNA, too, making sure to worship each riff long enough for you to make it through any given set. Beefy basslines and aggressive, chiseled drums make it easy to drop into a groove and get your pump on. Faster cuts like “Demigod” and “Rambler’s Axe” go great with chest flies and leg press, but they’ve got tracks for bench press and deadlifts too. “Bastard Sword” and “Owl Eyes” rumble forward like the slow but inevitable rise of the barbell at max weight. Whether marching or running, baritone shouts like tank treads hang over riffs just looking for an excuse to blow off steam. Whatever your reason for visiting the glorious house of gains, Piece has your soundtrack covered.

Heruvim // Mercator [September 12th, 2025 – Self-Release]

As each passing year leaves the almighty Bolt Thrower further in the past, the yearning for that sound grows. I was quite surprised to find a small amount of solace in Heruvim, hailing from Odesa, Ukraine. I say small solace, because debut LP Mercator is more than just a clone. Augmented with the unsettling atmosphere of early Pestilence and the vocal malevolence of Sinister, this platter of old school death metal carves its own niche in a storied scene. Off-kilter leads bubble up and spew out of a murky, tarred rhythm section like prehistoric gases in a primordial soup (“Gnosis,” “Lacrimae Rerum”). Lachrymose, doom-laden passages and violent death threats trade back and forth, anchored by volatile blast beats and percussive assaults in the vein of Cannibal Corpse (“Nulla Res,” “Mercator”). Stitched together with eerie, short-and-sweet interludes, Mercator’s lean 30 minutes fly by and always leave me itching for more. Heruvim riffs on a slew of classic sounds, creating a casual brutality and primal barbarism that is both compelling and uniquely their own.

ClarkKent’s Melodic Monstrosities

Galundo Tenvulance // Insomnis Somnia [September 17th, 2025 – Spiritual Beast Records]

Falling somewhere between symphonic deathcore acts Assemble the Chariots and Grimnis enters Japan’s Galundo Tenvulance. On their second full-length LP, Insomnis Somnia, the sextet demonstrates raw power and frenetic energy throughout its 41-minute runtime. Songs are anchored by catchy melodic leads, atmospheric symphonies, and punishing, relentless kitwork (no drummer is credited, so hopefully it’s not programmed). Galundo Tenvulance’s new vocalist, Sao, delivers the goods, bringing a spirited energy to her performance that elevates the already terrific material. While the symphonics don’t quite elevate the music the same way they do for Assemble the Chariots, it’s the melodic riffs that make these guys stand out. “Noble Rot” is the highlight, with a killer lead riff that uses harmonics to add just that extra bit of oomph. Other highlights include the catchy “Regret Never Sleeps,” evoking Character-era Dark Tranquillity, and “In The Realms of the Unreal,” which demonstrates their ability to transform solos into surprising melodies. This might be too good to have landed in the filter, but with my TYMHM slots filled up, it’s better than nothing.

Mortal Scepter // Ethereal Dominance [September 9th, 2025 – Xtreem Music]

As if we didn’t have enough thrash floating in the filter, French outfit Mortal Scepter finds itself as yet another piece of thrash dredged from the muck. This quartet has been around since 2012, yet Ethereal Dominance is only their second full-length release. Their sound lands somewhere between the melodic thrash of Bloodletter and the mania of Deathhammer—though a touch less zany. The persistent level of energy these bands can maintain never ceases to amaze me. While the constant beat of drum blasts threatens to make thrash songs sound too similar, the variety of melodies Mortal Scepter delivers ensures that things never grow repetitive. They have a raw, blackened sound that feels immediate and in your face. Drummer Guillaume keeps an impressive pace with fresh-sounding, nonstop blast beats, while vocalist Lucas Scellier snarls with enthusiasm, with a voice comparable to Deathhammer’s Sergeant Salsten. However, it’s the guitars by Maxime and Scellier that really bring the band to life, from the noodly melodies to the dynamic, lengthy, and impressive solos on each song. These guys prove they are more than just simple thrash metallers on the epic thrash, ten-minute finale, “Into the Wolves Den,” which uses a mix of tempo shifts and hooky melodies to make the song just fly by. With this second LP under their belts, these guys have proven themselves an exciting newish band on the thrash scene.

Grin Reaper’s Woodland Windfall

Autrest // Burning Embers, Forgotten Wolves [September 5th, 2025 – Northern Silence Productions]

Burning Embers, Forgotten Wolves merges atmospheric black metal with nature, resuming Autrest’s vision from debut Follow the Cold Path. Like Saor or Falls of Rauros, stunning melodies play across untamed backdrops that stir heartstrings in unexpected ways. Ethereal keys, mournful strings, and rapid-fire tremolos impeccably capture Burning Embers, Forgotten Wolves’ autumnal artwork, bringing Autrest’s imagery to life. Harsh vocals sit back in the mix, evoking windswept trees as cool harvest gusts leach branches of color, while sporadic baritone cleans add variation. “Lobos (Offering)” sets the stage with melancholic guitar plucks bolstered by forlorn strings, giving way to a controlled spark as “Ashes from the Burning Embers” ratchets up roiling vigor. Through forty-two minutes, Autrest expertly guides listeners across shifting landscapes that are delightful in their earnestness. Mastermind Matheus Vidor establishes himself as a preeminent architect of mood, channeling transitions from gentle, wonder-filled serenity to unyielding wrath. The dynamic between aggression and introspection is marvelous, permeating the album with emotion. While I could understand a complaint that some songs blur together, the spirit of Burning Embers, Forgotten Wolves is never stale or disposable. Rather, Autrest has taken what began two years ago and enriched it, composing an ode to self-discovery and transformation.3 My own experience with the music conjures wilderness’s last hurrah before succumbing to winter’s embrace. As days grow shorter and temperatures drop,4 I encourage you to seek refuge and draw warmth from these Burning Embers.

Dolphin Whisperer’s Very Not Late Novella

Sterveling // Sterveling [September 26th, 2025 – Self Release]

Between the world of atmospheric and post-tinged black metal, there exists a twisted form of progressive music that teeters about brooding moods and crackling tones to explore shrieking sadness and profound sorrow. Michiel van der Werff (Prospectors, Weltschmerz), primary Dutch proprietor of Sterveling, places his expressive guitar runs and lurching rhythm clangs in the company of trusted friends to carry out his tortured, baroque vision of black metal. Against the hissing design of synth maestro and Prospectors bandmate Matthias Ruijgrok, a fullness and warping warmth pervades the spacious amp textures and muscular rhythmic framework of each piece. And through the bloodied cries of Weltschmerz bandmate Hreim, a vocal lightning flashes to illuminate the nooks between pulsing synth lines and deathly bursts of full tremolo assault. In three longform pieces, all still totaling a generous forty-two minutes, Sterveling tints a monochrome narrative with vibrant shades from thoughtful tones and well-timed, emotional escalations. Committed to each careful iteration on a melody, the woven Sterveling web grows ever stickier with every passing moment, none of the ten-minute-plus excursions ever feeling even close to their declared runtimes. And with a sound construction that hits delicate yet forceful, creaking yet incising, it’s easy to wander through several journeys on this debut outing before realizing what time has passed. Fans of equally forlorn acts like Tongues or Andalvald will feel more at home here than others. But with a tonal palette that’s as inviting as it is crushing, Sterveling should attract the ears of fans across the extreme spectrum.

#2025 #agalloch #americanMetal #andavald #arjenAnthonyLucassen #assembleTheChariots #atmosphericBlackMetal #autrest #ayreon #blackMetal #bloodletter #boltThrower #brazillianMetal #burningEmbersForgottenWolves #cannibalCorpse #conan #crowbar #darkTranquillity #deathDoom #deathMetal #deathcore #deathhammer #disembowelment #doomMetal #dutchMetal #etherealDominance #fallsOfRauros #fauna #frenchMetal #galundoTenvulance #grimnis #guiltMachine #heruvim #highOnFire #independentRelease #indieRecordings #insideoutMusic #insomnisSomnia #japaneseMetal #jethroTull #jordsjuk #lupusLounge #melodicBlackMetal #melodicDeathMetal #melodicThrashMetal #mercator #mortalScepter #nagletTilLivet #northernSilenceProductions #norwegianMetal #ochreAndAsh #pestilence #piece #postBlackMetal #progressiveBlackMetal #progressiveMetal #progressiveRock #prophecyProductions #ramblersAxe #review #reviews #saor #selfRelease #selfReleased #sep25 #sinister #skeletonwitch #sludge #sludgeMetal #songsNoOneWillHear #spectralVoice #sterveling #stuckInTheFilter #stuckInTheFilter2025 #symphonicDeathcore #thisCharmingManRecords #thrashMetal #tongues #ukrainianMetal #wolvesInTheThroneRoom

Stuck in the Filter: September 2025’s Angry Misses

By Kenstrosity

At last, a burst of cool calms the blood after a brutal summer, and the leaves are turning. Which means I was able to recruit a bunch of grubby little leaf-lookers off the highway to serve as minions to my ever-needy Filter! With a temporarily replenished staff of fools who are unwittingly risking their lives for mere nuggets, I conduct with renewed vigor the search for quality finds.

Today, I bring you those finds, in all of their sparkly glory. WITNESS THEM!

Kenstrosity’s Jaunty Juke

Jordsjuk // Naglet til livet [September 19th, 2025 – Indie Recordings]

The lack of conversation I’ve seen surrounding this Norwegian black metal riff machine is highly disconcerting. Brought to my attention by my wonderfully wise—and devilshly handsome—owlpal1 from… GASP… another blog, Jordsjuk’s debut LP Naglet til livet has my spine whipping to a fro from the onset of ripping opener “Kollaps.” The whiplash doesn’t stop there as thrashy numbers “Grovt skadeverk” and “Skreddersøm” body me against several walls and even a couple of ceilings. For 36 relentless minutes, with only one song pushing the four minute mark, Naglet til livet is an unqualified triumph of editing and tight, effective songwriting. My immediate comparison is 2007-2013 Skeletonwitch, but some of these riffs, like the turbobangers on “Parasitt,” “Rottebitt,” “Klarhet og dybde,” and “Rennestein,” give those hallowed skellybois a serious run for their money. When they aren’t thrashing, Jordsjuk shift into a dour, but still ravenous black metal shadow. Wraiths like “Riv skorpen av såret” and “Svikter din neste” showcase this looming character quite well, and prove Jordsjuk to be dynamic, versatile songwriters. In short, Naglet til livet is a raucous good time for anyone craving black metal with sharp teeth and limitless energy.

Baguette’s Bouncy Blessing

Arjen Anthony Lucassen // Songs No One Will Hear [September 12th, 2025 – Inside Out Music]

A year without an Arjen record would be a much lesser one. It’s not often the crazy Dutchman reuses a non-Ayreon project title, but here we have his fourth solo album becoming the second under the full Arjen Anthony Lucassen name! Dropping 13 years after the previous one, Songs No One Will Hear announces the end of the world is a mere five months away, its tracks depicting the resulting stages of chaos, disarray, and human silliness. It doesn’t fall far off the catchy and melodic Arjen tree but casts a wider net than prior prog rock adventures. Much of the record reflects different eras of Ayreon, including the ’70s prog whimsy of Into the Electric Castle (“Dr. Slumber’s Blue Bus”) and the fun ’80s metal edge of The Source (“Goddamn Conspiracy”). Closing epic “Our Final Song” is a microcosm of his musical breadth, shapeshifting from Jethro Tull flute shenanigans to analog synth ambience to dramatic riff bombast at will. But it’s “The Clock Ticks Down” that steals the spotlight, marking a brief return to the dark, somber grit of Guilt Machine and 01011001. It’s an unusually normal-sized album from Mr. Lucassen as well, the regular, unnarrated version being only 46 minutes and change. A condensed, jovial jack-of-all-trades showcase with many of the usual great guest musician and vocalist selections! And it’s always nice to hear him sing more, too.

Thus Spoke’s Lurid Leftovers

Fauna // Ochre and Ash [September 26th, 2025 – Lupus Lounge/Prophecy Productions]

It’s been 13 years since Cascadian black metal duo Fauna released Avifauna, to quiet yet great acclaim. Given their preoccupation with human prehistory, they might just be operating on a larger timescale than you or I. Ochre and Ash—the two main ingredients used in ancient cave paintings—is an attempt to invoke the spirit of forgotten ceremonies during which the stories of the people were immortalised on stone. Building on an atmospheric black metal base familiar in their better-known exemplars Wolves in the Throne Room and Agalloch, Fauna give Ochre and Ash a distinctive edge by roaming further afield into the experimental. For every metal-dominated track (“Nature & Madness,” “Labyrinths,” “Eternal Return”), there is an ambient, decidedly unsettling counterpart (“A Conjuring,” “Femoral Sun,” “Mockery”), and the latter are not interludes, but integral parts of the ritual. Each infuses skin-prickling drone with eerie chimes and rattles, and uncomfortable vocalisations ranging from moans and wails to laughter and the howling, yipping cries of animals—or humans mimicking them. In their repetition of haunting, hollow sounds, they are both frightening and trance-inducing. Ochre and Ash’s metallic segments are no less ominous, treading as they do between confrontationally turbulent atmoblack2 and diSEMBOWELMENT-adjacent death doom that puts me right back in the void of madness last year’s Spectral Voice generated. This is not a casual listen, and Fauna could have helped it a bit with some editing, as the weirdness combined with an excessive 70-minute runtime makes some longer passages feel tired and could be off-putting to some. Still, it’s an experience I’d recommend trying at least once.

Spicie Forrest’s Sautéed Surplus

Piece // Rambler’s Axe [September 5th, 2025 – This Charming Man Records]

Finding gym metal has always proven difficult for me. It’s not about the fastest or loudest, but about striking a balance between weight and pace. Rambler’s Axe fits the bill nicely. Influenced by the likes of Crowbar and High on Fire, these Berlin-based doomsters peddle raucous and sludgy heavy metal. There’s a bit of Conan in Piece’s DNA, too, making sure to worship each riff long enough for you to make it through any given set. Beefy basslines and aggressive, chiseled drums make it easy to drop into a groove and get your pump on. Faster cuts like “Demigod” and “Rambler’s Axe” go great with chest flies and leg press, but they’ve got tracks for bench press and deadlifts too. “Bastard Sword” and “Owl Eyes” rumble forward like the slow but inevitable rise of the barbell at max weight. Whether marching or running, baritone shouts like tank treads hang over riffs just looking for an excuse to blow off steam. Whatever your reason for visiting the glorious house of gains, Piece has your soundtrack covered.

Heruvim // Mercator [September 12th, 2025 – Self-Release]

As each passing year leaves the almighty Bolt Thrower further in the past, the yearning for that sound grows. I was quite surprised to find a small amount of solace in Heruvim, hailing from Odesa, Ukraine. I say small solace, because debut LP Mercator is more than just a clone. Augmented with the unsettling atmosphere of early Pestilence and the vocal malevolence of Sinister, this platter of old school death metal carves its own niche in a storied scene. Off-kilter leads bubble up and spew out of a murky, tarred rhythm section like prehistoric gases in a primordial soup (“Gnosis,” “Lacrimae Rerum”). Lachrymose, doom-laden passages and violent death threats trade back and forth, anchored by volatile blast beats and percussive assaults in the vein of Cannibal Corpse (“Nulla Res,” “Mercator”). Stitched together with eerie, short-and-sweet interludes, Mercator’s lean 30 minutes fly by and always leave me itching for more. Heruvim riffs on a slew of classic sounds, creating a casual brutality and primal barbarism that is both compelling and uniquely their own.

ClarkKent’s Melodic Monstrosities

Galundo Tenvulance // Insomnis Somnia [September 17th, 2025 – Spiritual Beast Records]

Falling somewhere between symphonic deathcore acts Assemble the Chariots and Grimnis enters Japan’s Galundo Tenvulance. On their second full-length LP, Insomnis Somnia, the sextet demonstrates raw power and frenetic energy throughout its 41-minute runtime. Songs are anchored by catchy melodic leads, atmospheric symphonies, and punishing, relentless kitwork (no drummer is credited, so hopefully it’s not programmed). Galundo Tenvulance’s new vocalist, Sao, delivers the goods, bringing a spirited energy to her performance that elevates the already terrific material. While the symphonics don’t quite elevate the music the same way they do for Assemble the Chariots, it’s the melodic riffs that make these guys stand out. “Noble Rot” is the highlight, with a killer lead riff that uses harmonics to add just that extra bit of oomph. Other highlights include the catchy “Regret Never Sleeps,” evoking Character-era Dark Tranquillity, and “In The Realms of the Unreal,” which demonstrates their ability to transform solos into surprising melodies. This might be too good to have landed in the filter, but with my TYMHM slots filled up, it’s better than nothing.

Mortal Scepter // Ethereal Dominance [September 9th, 2025 – Xtreem Music]

As if we didn’t have enough thrash floating in the filter, French outfit Mortal Scepter finds itself as yet another piece of thrash dredged from the muck. This quartet has been around since 2012, yet Ethereal Dominance is only their second full-length release. Their sound lands somewhere between the melodic thrash of Bloodletter and the mania of Deathhammer—though a touch less zany. The persistent level of energy these bands can maintain never ceases to amaze me. While the constant beat of drum blasts threatens to make thrash songs sound too similar, the variety of melodies Mortal Scepter delivers ensures that things never grow repetitive. They have a raw, blackened sound that feels immediate and in your face. Drummer Guillaume keeps an impressive pace with fresh-sounding, nonstop blast beats, while vocalist Lucas Scellier snarls with enthusiasm, with a voice comparable to Deathhammer’s Sergeant Salsten. However, it’s the guitars by Maxime and Scellier that really bring the band to life, from the noodly melodies to the dynamic, lengthy, and impressive solos on each song. These guys prove they are more than just simple thrash metallers on the epic thrash, ten-minute finale, “Into the Wolves Den,” which uses a mix of tempo shifts and hooky melodies to make the song just fly by. With this second LP under their belts, these guys have proven themselves an exciting newish band on the thrash scene.

Grin Reaper’s Woodland Windfall

Autrest // Burning Embers, Forgotten Wolves [September 5th, 2025 – Northern Silence Productions]

Burning Embers, Forgotten Wolves merges atmospheric black metal with nature, resuming Autrest’s vision from debut Follow the Cold Path. Like Saor or Falls of Rauros, stunning melodies play across untamed backdrops that stir heartstrings in unexpected ways. Ethereal keys, mournful strings, and rapid-fire tremolos impeccably capture Burning Embers, Forgotten Wolves’ autumnal artwork, bringing Autrest’s imagery to life. Harsh vocals sit back in the mix, evoking windswept trees as cool harvest gusts leach branches of color, while sporadic baritone cleans add variation. “Lobos (Offering)” sets the stage with melancholic guitar plucks bolstered by forlorn strings, giving way to a controlled spark as “Ashes from the Burning Embers” ratchets up roiling vigor. Through forty-two minutes, Autrest expertly guides listeners across shifting landscapes that are delightful in their earnestness. Mastermind Matheus Vidor establishes himself as a preeminent architect of mood, channeling transitions from gentle, wonder-filled serenity to unyielding wrath. The dynamic between aggression and introspection is marvelous, permeating the album with emotion. While I could understand a complaint that some songs blur together, the spirit of Burning Embers, Forgotten Wolves is never stale or disposable. Rather, Autrest has taken what began two years ago and enriched it, composing an ode to self-discovery and transformation.3 My own experience with the music conjures wilderness’s last hurrah before succumbing to winter’s embrace. As days grow shorter and temperatures drop,4 I encourage you to seek refuge and draw warmth from these Burning Embers.

Dolphin Whisperer’s Very Not Late Novella

Sterveling // Sterveling [September 26th, 2025 – Self Release]

Between the world of atmospheric and post-tinged black metal, there exists a twisted form of progressive music that teeters about brooding moods and crackling tones to explore shrieking sadness and profound sorrow. Michiel van der Werff (Prospectors, Weltschmerz), primary Dutch proprietor of Sterveling, places his expressive guitar runs and lurching rhythm clangs in the company of trusted friends to carry out his tortured, baroque vision of black metal. Against the hissing design of synth maestro and Prospectors bandmate Matthias Ruijgrok, a fullness and warping warmth pervades the spacious amp textures and muscular rhythmic framework of each piece. And through the bloodied cries of Weltschmerz bandmate Hreim, a vocal lightning flashes to illuminate the nooks between pulsing synth lines and deathly bursts of full tremolo assault. In three longform pieces, all still totaling a generous forty-two minutes, Sterveling tints a monochrome narrative with vibrant shades from thoughtful tones and well-timed, emotional escalations. Committed to each careful iteration on a melody, the woven Sterveling web grows ever stickier with every passing moment, none of the ten-minute-plus excursions ever feeling even close to their declared runtimes. And with a sound construction that hits delicate yet forceful, creaking yet incising, it’s easy to wander through several journeys on this debut outing before realizing what time has passed. Fans of equally forlorn acts like Tongues or Andalvald will feel more at home here than others. But with a tonal palette that’s as inviting as it is crushing, Sterveling should attract the ears of fans across the extreme spectrum.

#2025 #agalloch #americanMetal #andavald #arjenAnthonyLucassen #assembleTheChariots #atmosphericBlackMetal #autrest #ayreon #blackMetal #bloodletter #boltThrower #brazillianMetal #burningEmbersForgottenWolves #cannibalCorpse #conan #crowbar #darkTranquillity #deathDoom #deathMetal #deathcore #deathhammer #disembowelment #doomMetal #dutchMetal #etherealDominance #fallsOfRauros #fauna #frenchMetal #galundoTenvulance #grimnis #guiltMachine #heruvim #highOnFire #independentRelease #indieRecordings #insideoutMusic #insomnisSomnia #japaneseMetal #jethroTull #jordsjuk #lupusLounge #melodicBlackMetal #melodicDeathMetal #melodicThrashMetal #mercator #mortalScepter #nagletTilLivet #northernSilenceProductions #norwegianMetal #ochreAndAsh #pestilence #piece #postBlackMetal #progressiveBlackMetal #progressiveMetal #progressiveRock #prophecyProductions #ramblersAxe #review #reviews #saor #selfRelease #selfReleased #sep25 #sinister #skeletonwitch #sludge #sludgeMetal #songsNoOneWillHear #spectralVoice #sterveling #stuckInTheFilter #stuckInTheFilter2025 #symphonicDeathcore #thisCharmingManRecords #thrashMetal #tongues #ukrainianMetal #wolvesInTheThroneRoom

Just uploaded more photos from #Ultima RatioFest : #DarkTranquillity

🤘Check them out on my IG+FB photo account #sethpicturesmusic
I also wrote WR news items about #Cairiss and #SpaceofVariations joining the #Dymytryparadox tour.

Just uploaded more photos from #Ultima RatioFest : #DarkTranquillity

🤘Check them out on my IG+FB photo account #sethpicturesmusic
I also wrote WR news items about #Cairiss and #SpaceofVariations joining the #Dymytryparadox tour.

Just uploaded more photos from #Ultima RatioFest : #DarkTranquillity

🤘Check them out on my IG+FB photo account #sethpicturesmusic
I also wrote WR news items about #Cairiss and #SpaceofVariations joining the #Dymytryparadox tour.

DARK TRANQUILLITY - ThereIn (Live in Milan)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWsZy5Nomb0

#NowPlaying #FediRadio #UnoRadio #Musica #Music #DarkTranquillity

DARK TRANQUILLITY - Lethe (Live in Krakow)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGii7vBzaxA

#NowPlaying #FediRadio #UnoRadio #Musica #Music #DarkTranquillity

Mors Principium Est – Darkness Invisible Review

By Angry Metal Guy

Mors Principium Est should, for longtime fans of Angry Metal Guy, need no introduction. Since 2003, these Finns have released eight full-length albums of top-notch melodic death metal. However, they really took flight in 2012 with …and Death Said Live!, which coincidentally is a year after Andy Gillion joined the band. Between 2011 and 2021, Mors produced melodic death metal that drew heavily on a strong Gothenburg vibe; guitar-forward, slick as fuck, and fun to listen to. Gillion was fired, however, in 2021. That was followed by the band releasing an album of re-recorded songs called Liberate the Unborn Inhumanity, which fans largely considered a half-measure. Darkness Invisible, then, marks the first truly new material since Seven. And I’ve been dying to know how this revamped Mors Principium Est would navigate the changes on album number nine.

Darkness Invisible presents a recognizable core sound that longtime fans will connect with, but its character reflects the shift in the lineup. With Ville Viljanen’s scathing roar still at the helm, the return of Jori Haukio and Jarkko Kokko on guitars reintroduces the early 2000s songwriting DNA, while bassist Teemu Heinola and (new guy) Marko Tommila give the rhythm section both drive and dynamic weight. Together, they summon a melodeath that is at once cinematic, technical, and blackened—evoking countrymen Children of Bodom or Kalmah. The themes that emerge are darker than before: a push toward massive symphonic density that occasionally brushes against Septic Flesh’s deathly grandeur, the arrival of deeper guttural vocals that tilt passages toward brutal death, and flashes of blackened riffing that lend a sharp edge. These elements intermingle across the album, creating a record that is both familiar and ambitious.

Much of Darkness Invisible’s character comes from its dark dynamics and cinematic presentation. The compositions weaponize contrast in vocals and atmosphere, making for a dynamic and entertaining record. Viljanen’s familiar bark remains the anchor of MPE’s sound, but the band now folds in cavernous gutturals that push closer to death metal extremity (“Summoning the Dark”), even contrasting these with operatic cleans and producing a clash of brutality and grandeur (“All Life Is Evil”). Additionally, there’s a frost that creeps into the riffs and drumming, with trem-picked riffs and blastbeats sharpening the band’s melodeath foundation toward something blackened and sinister (see: the chorus of “Venator,” or the end of “The Rivers of Avernus”). And even the more straightforward cuts employ these textures to broaden their weight, layering symphonic swells and bleak grandeur over increasingly technical riffing. The result is a record that sounds darker and denser than the glossy sheen of Seven. This expansion lends ambition and menace, though the density of choirs, gutturals, and orchestrations sometimes threatens to swamp the guitars that were the core of Mors’ sound.

For all its ambition, Darkness Invisible’s major drawback is that it’s undermined by an Industry Standard Production Job™ courtesy of Jens Bogren (mixing) and Tony Lindgren (mastering). Bogren has made dense orchestral metal soar before—think how cleanly he’s wrangled maximalist arrangements for acts like Fleshgod Apocalypse and Turisas—which makes this result unusual. The record is mastered loud and layered thick; climaxes hit hard,1 but the constant stacking of choirs, vocals, multiple guitar tracks, drums, and orchestration often clutters the field and can bury the guitars that most recently defined Mors Principium Est. On a proper stereo, the album sounds big and sinister—fully loaded with dynamics, pomp, and grandeur—but on earbuds and smaller setups, it can collapse into a busy blur. It’s been a long time since I popped in a new release and found it simply too crowded for casual listening—and it ends up being fatiguing to the ear at times. That busyness contributes to the album’s oppressive mood, but it also blunts individual performances. In reaching for monumental scale, the mix trades away clarity, leaving the listener torn between admiration for scope and frustration at execution.

Darkness Invisible has convinced me that this lineup can carry Mors Principium Est forward. The shift in sound works: the band leans harder into Children of Bodom and Dark Tranquillity on the melodic side, showing off fantastic guitar work while embracing a more cinematic and melodramatic identity. Without the bonus track, the album lands at a vinyl-friendly 46 minutes, and its structural pacing—variations in tempo, atmosphere, and density—make it a fun and dynamic listen despite the crowded mix. Darkness Invisible doesn’t bear much resemblance to the Gillion era, but that’s not necessarily a weakness.2 This darker and more melodramatic Mors Principium Est feels fresh, and tracks like “All Life Is Evil” and “The Rivers of Avernus” prove the style’s promise. So, I entered this review with concerns about what a Gillion-less Mors Principium Est would sound like, and I’m leaving it impressed and excited for what’s to come. I would call that a great success.

Rating: Very Good!
DR: 6 | Format Reviewed: 320 kb/s CBR MP3
Label: Perception [Reigning Phoenix Music]
Websites: Facebook | Instagram
Out Worldwide: September 26th, 2025

#AndDeathSaidLive #2025 #35 #AndyGillion #ChildrenOfBodom #DarkTranquillity #DarknessInvisible #FinnishMetal #FleshgodApocalypse #JensBogren #Kalmah #MelodicDeathMetal #MorsPrincipiumEst #OrchestralMetal #Review #Reviews #Sep25 #SepticFlesh #Seven #TonyLindgren #Turisas