#monogamy — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #monogamy, aggregated by home.social.
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DATE: August 31, 2026 at 09:00AM
SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
-------------------------------------------------TITLE: How monogamous and polyamorous individuals envision multiple romantic partners
When people imagine having two long-term romantic partners at the same time, a majority envision two people with similar, well-rounded traits, though monogamous men often show a preference for one partner focused on physical attractiveness and sexual skill. These findings highlight how intended time and emotional investment shape human mating preferences in non-monogamous contexts. The research was published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
Historically, research into human mating preferences has centered on monogamy, an exclusive relationship between two people. In this context, researchers have mapped out how individuals prioritize traits like kindness, intelligence, and physical attractiveness in a single long-term partner. Consensual non-monogamy and concurrent mating structures have been present throughout human history and across various cultures. This historical prevalence led researchers to question whether human mating psychology is adapted to generate distinct preferences when multiple partners are involved.
Ashley J. Coventry, a researcher at the University of California, Santa Barbara, and her colleagues initiated a project to determine whether people prefer the same traits in multiple concurrent partners or if they seek different characteristics in each person. The research team hypothesized that the costs and benefits of certain traits might shift depending on how many partners a person has. For example, a single wealthy partner could theoretically provide enough financial stability for a whole family unit, potentially decreasing a person’s need to seek out high financial prospects in a second partner.
In their first study, the researchers recruited 267 primarily monogamous individuals. Participants completed a budget allocation task, a method where they received a fixed amount of 70 points to spend on specific traits for two hypothetical long-term partners. This forced-choice format creates artificial scarcity among traits like ambition, physical attractiveness, intelligence, and kindness. The researchers then used a statistical technique called cluster analysis to group the hypothetical partners based on how participants distributed their limited points.
The analysis revealed two primary categories of ideal partners, the first of which was labeled “well-rounded” because participants distributed their points evenly across traits. The second category was labeled “good in bed and attractive,” where points were heavily concentrated on physical appearance and sexual skill. Nearly three-quarters of the participants preferred two partners of the same type, but over a quarter of the respondents preferred distinct traits for each partner. In this group, male participants were much more likely than female participants to design at least one partner who prioritized attractiveness and sexual skill.
To confirm these patterns, the researchers conducted a second study with 227 mostly monogamous participants. This study replicated the point-spending methods of the first but added questions about how participants would divide their resources between the two hypothetical partners. Participants rated how they would allocate their financial investment, their daily time, and their emotional closeness across the two relationships.
The second study produced the exact same two partner categories as the first, with most participants again preferring two well-rounded partners. Among those who desired different partner types, men frequently preferred one well-rounded partner and one partner focused on attractiveness and sexual skill. The investment questions revealed that participants who designed two different types of partners planned to divide their resources unequally. These individuals typically intended to invest more time, money, and emotional energy into the well-rounded partner compared to the partner valued primarily for physical and sexual traits.
In a third study, the research team recruited 169 individuals who currently identified as polyamorous. Polyamory is a relationship structure where people can have multiple consensual, romantic partnerships at the same time with the knowledge of everyone involved. The participants completed the same budget allocation and investment tasks as the previous groups. This allowed the researchers to test whether the patterns found in monogamous people applied to those actually practicing non-monogamy.
The cluster analysis for this group yielded slightly different categories. While the well-rounded partner type remained the most common, the second category centered on kindness and sexual skill rather than physical attractiveness. Similar to the previous studies, nearly three-quarters of the polyamorous participants preferred two partners of the same type. Unlike the monogamous groups, polyamorous men and women displayed no statistical divergence in their partner preferences.
Both men and women in the polyamorous group most commonly designed two identical partner types. While participants who designed two different partner types again reported intentions to divide their time unequally, the polyamorous group generally aimed for more equal investment across both partners. The sex-based variations seen in the monogamous sample simply did not appear among the polyamorous respondents.
The researchers note a few limitations to the project. The statistical clusters represent general patterns of point allocation in a specific task rather than rigid, real-world categories of human beings. The reliance on a point-spending system forces participants into trade-offs that might not capture how human attraction naturally unfolds.
The total number of polyamorous participants was lower than initially planned, which can reduce a study’s statistical power to detect minor behavioral patterns. The survey also did not ask polyamorous participants about their specific relationship structures. Some polyamorous individuals practice a hierarchical structure with primary and secondary partners, while others avoid relationship hierarchies entirely. These structural differences likely influence how people imagine investing their time across multiple partners.
The monogamous participants may have inherently imagined a primary and secondary relationship dynamic when asked to envision two partners, prompting them to assign different traits to each. Additionally, the participant pool was limited to individuals living in the United States. Future studies could explore how specific types of consensual non-monogamy alter these preferences in different cultural settings. The authors also suggest exploring these questions with larger groups of non-binary individuals, as they were excluded from the current analysis to maintain sample parity across binary sex categories.
The study, “Preferences and Polyamory: Investigating Ideal Mate Preferences for Concurrent Partners in Monogamous and Polyamorous Individuals,” was authored by Ashley J. Coventry, Benjamin Gelbart, Kathryn V. Walter, Tamsin German, and Daniel Conroy-Beam.
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#psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #Polyamory #Monogamy #RomanticPartners #RelationshipResearch #MatePreferences #WellRoundedPartner #Attractiveness #Kindness #IntentionalInvestment #DatingPsychology
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💁🏻♀️ TIL: 🐦💞 Most #birds practice social #monogamy, but only a few species actually mate for life.
Ornithologist Bart Kempenaers from the #MaxPlanck Institute explains that longevity, predation risk, and site fidelity all influence whether #animals stay partnered. Even lifelong animal pairs don’t always mate exclusively, with “cheating” and “divorce” playing a role.
👉 https://www.popsci.com/science/do-animals-mate-for-life/
#mating #wolves #science #biology #evolution #ornithology #nature #wildlife #swans #eagles #albatrosses #love
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Friday's fire take:
Monogamy is not the natural state of humans and defs not the natural state of hellions.
"But humans are naturally monogamous!"
U are not.
- U cheat like, a LOT.
- U divorce at crazy rates. Like up to 50% of first marriages and up to 70% of other ones.
- Even when u don't cheat, u often skirt the border of like... emotional cheating. Or u know, climb the fence and sneak into emotional cheating land lol.
Okie, some of u might be monogamous but I don't think its as common as u think. Ur obsession with it is bc even if u were never Abrahamic, u have been force fed their views. I think probs, u are not entirely mono, even if u do tje mono thing for short times."What about hellions?"
Pfft we are mostly like u. Including the dumb indoctrination.
"What about u?"
I'm non-mono but demi. So not mono but super picky.
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Do humans have a high capacity for commitment? One way to find out is to explore the default of nearly all of our romantic relationships: monogamy. Are we wired for it? Scientists have searched for the answer to this for decades. Here’s more from @sciencefocus:
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Nice paper out in @PNASNews on the #evolution of #monogamy. It shows that monogamy worldwide mostly appeared as a result of competition for heritable wealth at the individual level, rather than as a way to promote cooperation at the group level.
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You know what would probably blow the mind of your average monogamist? Asexual polyamory people. The next time someone finds out I'm poly and jumps right to talking about sex and threesomes, I'm going to bring up that counterexample and let them sit with what that says about their ideas of love and relationships.
#polyamory #lgbtqia #asexuality #ace #monogamy #ENM #ethicalNonmonogamy #poly #lgbtq #queer -
A scientist produced a monogamy ranking of dozens of mammals, including humans.
From @WSJ: "Humans are less monogamous than some mice but rank higher than one breed of sheep."
Gift link: https://flip.it/7nkbWY
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Vatican defends monogamy against polygamy, polyamory
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Shameless #Sexuality: More than Monogamy Panel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GUc0r9urYc&list=WL
From #pansexuality to #polyamory, join us for a discussion that is guaranteed to be about More than #Monogamy, featuring:
Janice Selbie
Founder of CORT, Divorcing Religion Workshop, & Shameless Sexuality: Life After #Purity Culture, Divorcing #Religion
Keith Mullin
Mandisa Thomas
- Founder and President, Black Nonbelievers
Marie LePage
Sheldon and Katherine Roberts -
My first iOS app is finally available on the App Store! I am really excited about this and super hyped about everyone who gives it a try or shares it 🥰
Relationship Menu is an app that can help people to reflect on what they need and want in a relationship - alone or together with one or multiple partners.
Get it here: https://apps.apple.com/app/id6746169721
You can also use it on the web: https://relationshipmenu.org
#SwiftUI #Swift #iosdev #relationship #polyamory #monogamy #nonmonogamy #indiedev #ios26
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Woohoo! My first app arrived on the App Store! 🎉😍
https://apps.apple.com/de/app/relationship-menu/id6746169721Much appreciation to anyone who finds it interesting, gives it a boost, or simply tries it out 🙈 #AppStore #iosdev #Swift #relationships #polyamory #monogamy #nonmonogamy
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Is #Monogamy Natural or Just a #SocialConstruct? So what’s the deal?
https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/is-monogamy-natural-or-just-a-social-construct/
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#Monogamy vs. #Monogamish? 7% of #Americans Are in Monogamish #Relationships
When asked about their feelings towards monogamy, America tipped #nonmonogamous, with 39% of respondents saying monogamy is the only type of relationship they’d consider, and the other 61% saying otherwise.
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Monopoly is when you switch between monogamy and polyamory, right?
:PolyamoryFlag: -
Hey,
I'd like to start a collection of books, that are great eye-openers against normative concepts.I have read 2 books so far, that I think fit:
#Ace by #AngelaChen: Maybe the standard work on asexuality and a great book to understand and question allo-normativity (allo(sexual) being the opposite of ace/asexual)
#Platonic by #MarisaGFranco: An homage to platonic partnerships and against romantic normativity or also allo normativity (allo(romantic) being the opposite of aromantic here)
I'm next looking for a book on #RelationshipAnarchy to add to the list. Is there like a go-to book or must read? Please let me know.
Also do you know of any other books, that fit into the collection? It can be about/against any kind of normativity, not just related to gender, relationships and identity.
#BooksTodon #BookRecommendation #normativity #asexuality #asexual #aromantic #RelationshipAnarchism #QueerFeminism #HeteroNormativity #AlloNormativity #polyamory #monogamy #patriarchy
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Really enjoying the podcast!
A couple of topics I'd love to hear covered:
* Creating a consistent sleep routine - all podcasts seem to focus just on "how to get your brain to stop keeping you awake as you lie in bed". I've literally paid thousands of dollars to coaches, hypnotists etc to help me just to get INTO bed at a consistentish time that gets me 8 hours of sleep. So far to almost no effect. I really don't understand how my diet can be so good, and my sleep times so bad!
* ADHD dating - Does it work better with an ADHD or non ADHD partner?
* ADHD and sex - Is monogamy incompatible with ADHD? Is polyamory, or swinging more compatible, given novelty etc. Or worse, given RSD?
* Building a network of friends with adult ADHD.
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#SeparationofChurchandState / #SOCAS #NEWS -
Federal agency flies #Christiannationalist flag
#Christianity Is Ramping Up in #PublicSchools
Trump #ReligiousLiberty Commission promotes #Christian #Nationalism
Christian-Owned Spa Cannot #Discriminate Against #TransWomen, #FederalAppealsCourt Rules
#Abstinence, #patriotism and #monogamy all required #curriculum under new #Ohio bill
When #Religious #Employers Get a Pass, #Workers Pay the Price
https://flipboard.com/@dustcircle/church-state-separation-g5hp0m0uy
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My Relationship Menu app now finally supports filtering items by search! You can join the beta here: https://testflight.apple.com/join/4drmtcfm
I would love to add a mode that allows filtering by mode but I haven't figured out how I can add a button after the search field yet in #SwiftUI unfortunately.
#Swift #iosdev #relationships #polyamory #nonmonogamy #monogamy
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Made for Each Other: Evolution of Monogamy in Poison Frogs
by @GrrlScientist via #Substack
#frogs #monogamy #evolution #SciComm https://substack.com/home/post/p-164371623
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Made for Each Other: Evolution of Monogamy in Poison Frogs
by @grrlscientist via #Substack
#frogs #monogamy #evolution #SciComm https://substack.com/home/post/p-164371623
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JSON attachments also work now btw. for PDFs generated with the iOS version of my tool. We also now have support for sharing menus as end-to-end encrypted links! #relationship #Swift #swiftUI #iosdev #relationships #polyamory #nonmonogamy #monogamy
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Finally added PDF support to the iOS version of my #relationship menu tool! Haven’t managed to add a json attachment to to the PDF yet like the web version does unfortunately - open for suggestions! https://testflight.apple.com/join/4drmtcfm #Swift #swiftUI #iosdev #relationships #polyamory #nonmonogamy #monogamy
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Added a proper introduction sheet to the app now and redesigned a couple of things! #swift #swiftUI #iosdev #relationship #polyamory #poly #nonmonogamy #monogamy
Get the beta here: https://testflight.apple.com/join/4drmtcfm
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iPad support is now available in the beta! You can join here https://testflight.apple.com/join/4drmtcfm
#relationshipmenu #relationship #relationship #polyamory #poly #nonmonogamy #monogamy #swift #swiftUI #iosdev #ipad #iphone #pleaseboost
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New beta is available with a new menu creation flow thanks to the great feedback from @toffifeelix! I also added an example menu when no menu has been created yet ☺️
Link to TestFlight: https://testflight.apple.com/join/4drmtcfm iPad support will come tomorrow!
#iosdev #ios #swift #swiftUI #beta #relationshipmenu #relationship #relationships #polyamory #poly #nonmonogamy #monogamy #pleaseboost #boost