#nonmonogamy — Public Fediverse posts

This class will primarily address attending kink conventions from registration and hotel booking to the aftermath of con drop and recovery, for every situation from the solo kinkster to the polysaturated and attending with polycules.

https://forbiddentickets.com/events/pandastory/42fb66a643 .

#NonMonogamy #Polyam #Kink

It seems like we're starting the Big Crying All Day part of Greg's visit a little earlier this year.

What fun.

#dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #Australia #UK

This time next week I'll be 24 hours away from snogging Greg.

#dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #Australia #UK

I put together a bed side table for the other side of my bed, because Greg's visiting in a few weeks.

I got to put together some things in the drawer for him today:
Lip balm
Hair ties
Deodorant
Tissues
Paracetamol
Lube
USB-C cables
UK/Australia socket
Paper and pens
Wipes
Fan
Little bowl to put his ring in while he's sleeping

It feels less lonely to have little bits around the house for when he's here.

#LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #Australia #UK #dating #relationship

Greg and I usually never argue, and have maybe 5 or 6 arguments in the 8 years we've been dating (15 years we've known each other).

Over the past week we've had 3 arguments. We're fine, it's just one thing we're working through.

But this post isn't about that. This post is about the realisation that every time we argue I get a headache and constipated for like 2 days after.

My body literally does NOT cope when we argue. It's perfectly happy to fight with any other motherfucker that annoys me, though.

#dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #Australia #UK

Greg worked in the office on Tuesday, and then went away for his anniversary with his wife on Wednesday/Thursday.. so I haven't really been able to spend proper time with him for 3 days.

He's back home now and is going to call in about 90 minutes when he wakes up, which is fantastic and I can't wait, but also I'm still feeling so sad about missing all that time with him.

Non-monogamous relationships are hard at times, and adding long distance on to them makes them really hurt.

#NonMonogamy #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship

It's our 8th anniversary on Sunday, and a huge bunch of flowers just arrived from Vanessa Pringle Floral Designs, and they're absolutely gorgeous.

I hate that we never get to have our anniversary together in person, but I appreciate that he's so thoughtful about the practical ways to help us feel closer in spite of the tyranny of distance.

Long distance is hard. Being loved by him is easy.

#relationship #dating #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #Australia #UK #anniversary #flowers

I'm having thoughts about long distance relationships, and how being apart again after time together might feel more difficult for me because of my audhd.

Like, there the rsd aspect, but on top of that there's also other parts:

- I get to experience lots of dopamine while Greg is around, just from being cuddled and touched, from having him with me in person, from the sex and play, from the good food he cooks me... and a bunch of other things

- I get to actually relax and unmask to a point where I feel like myself instead of trying to juggle people's expectations of me

- I am allowed to fuck up and be forgiven

...then I get back to my own life and all that goes away again. I feel sad, but also there's this terrible feeling of not coping with life that hovers until I get back to my normal routine and remember that I am used to this struggle.

It sucks.

#dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #Australia #UK #audhd #autism #adhd #disability #neurodiverse #MentalHealth

Me:
Honestly, I wouldn't trust myself climbing up a ladder anymore..

Greg:
..not with those nipples.

(we had just been talking about how I clipped my nipple ring with the shower door)

#HeMakesMeLaugh #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #Australia #UK

|WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY, FRIDAY |

We spent more time just relaxing at home. We've been watching TV together, playing some games, and spending a lot of time just chatting and enjoying being in the same physical space again.

We did some shopping, and have made plans for dinner with friends for next weekend.

_____

FOXES SEEN - 9
SQUIRRELS SEEN - 0
TOTAL FOXES SEEN - 15
TOTAL SQUIRRELS SEEN - 2

#UK #Australia #dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy

| TUESDAY |

We woke up a little later and spent some time snuggling and listening to the rain. Greg had to work again—normally on a Tuesday (and Wednesday) he'd have to go into the office in London, but he asked his manager about potentially working from home while I'm here to cut down on covid risks, and his manager agreed.. so he'll get to work from home my entire visit. I spent the day curled up next to him while he worked, reading and watching some shows.

There's an amazing Vietnamese restaurant in Plumstead called Viet Baguette, which we always visit when I here. I really felt like their food for lunch, but we had planned to have fish and chips for dinner so we just had a quesadilla for lunch.

After dinner we popped out to do some shopping and look for a bed. Greg's been sleeping on a fold out futon for a while now, and has decided to get a proper bed finally. We got to shop for a mattress last night (and found one), which was actually quite a lot of fun. It felt really domestic and home-making-ey to be out shopping for the bed we're going to share, even though I'm only here for 6 weeks.

We picked up fish and chips on the way home, which is something I love to have while I'm here because the chips remind me of the proper chips we used to get when I was a kid.

_____

FOXES SEEN - 3
SQUIRRELS SEEN - 2

TOTAL FOXES SEEN - 6
TOTAL SQUIRRELS SEEN - 2

#UK #Australia #dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy

| MONDAY |

Greg got up early to drop his wife to work, and climbed back into bed with me when he got home. There's something so delicious about being snuggled awake and fucked before even opening my eyes.. it puts me in a fabulous mood for the rest of the day.

Greg worked all day, and I got to just curl up in the bed next to his desk. I watched a couple of episodes of The Undoing and read a little. We chatted in between his meetings, and it was lovely to just be able to reach over and touch him or to see him working right next to me.

In the evening we took Alethea to the vet for her vaccination and post enucleation check up—everything is fine. Once we got home we joined his wife and had some dinner, watched some more of The Pitt and True Blood.

I noticed in the first seen we meet Tara in, she's reading a copy of Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein. I was so excited we had to stop the episode for me to talk about how fascinating it is that she's reading that book, and how it completely changes the character for me now!

It was a relaxing day, quiet and domestic.. I feel happy.

_____

FOXES SEEN - 3
SQUIRRELS SEEN - 0

TOTAL FOXES SEEN - 3
TOTAL SQUIRRELS SEEN - 0

#UK #Australia #dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy

| SUNDAY |

We woke up and played a little, then got up for breakfast and snuggled on the sofa with some TV. We watched an episode of Survivor SA, and ended up watching the first episode of a show called Years and Years. I'm super interested in seeing how it turns out.. the episodes are well written, the acting and direction is fabulous, and it's an intense and intriguing premise. It's densely written, and we had to take breaks because I kept losing focus.

We did a bit of cleaning to return the other-husband's flat and (after negative covid tests) we headed back to Greg's house.

On the way back we stopped at a toy shop so I could pick up a game of Keepy Uppey... we're going to have dinner with a couple that Greg and his wife are good friends with, who I've also met a few times and really enjoy their company. They have two small kids, and I'm picking up a few gifts for them.

It was lovely to catch up with his wife again. I've missed her. We try to keep touch throughout the year and have occasional calls, but we've both had a hectic year. I got to see their cats—including Alethia, who got diagnosed with a cancer last year and had her eye removed. She's perfectly healthy now, and wandering around the house like a tiny disgruntled pirate.

We ordered in some dinner as a treat, and introduced Greg's wife to The Pitt. We headed to bed, and I absolutely crashed!

_____
FOXES SEEN - 0
SQUIRRELS SEEN - 0

#UK #Australia #dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy

| SATURDAY |

We had a quiet day yesterday. We woke up early and played fairly intensely and then spent some time snuggling in bed and talking.

The plan had been to go to Nunhead Cemetery for a walk, but Greg's wife and her other-husband needed the car. So we popped out early in the morning to pick up some groceries and then Greg dropped them the car.

We spent the day curled up on the sofa and chatting. We watched some funny YouTube clips, and an episode of Monster—Ed Gein.

We had a dill pickle salad and a brat for dinner and then went to bed. I'm still getting over the flights, and Greg was exhausted after I woke him up at 5am to fuck 😆. He's out of practice dealing with my shenanigans!

SQUIRRELS - 0
FOXES - 0 (heard some though)
I have plans to buy some peanuts to gift the squirrels and crows..

#UK #Australia #dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy

| FRIDAY |

I'm here! In London!

I arrived on Friday evening, Greg picked me up from Gatwick and we drove back to his wife's other-husband's place. We're staying here until Sunday afternoon (today) to give us space to make sure I didn't pick up covid (I didn't) before going back to his.

I showered and we went to Costco to pick up some bits and pieces. I got a UK Costco hotdog, and it was interesting. They use beef dogs here, and instead of the chopped raw onion they use weird soft boiled onion that's incredibly unpleasant.. I'm not a fan. It feels weird to not enjoy a Costco hotdog!

We got home and went to bed (I had been falling asleep in the car). We played around a lot.. the plan was to not fuck on the first few days, and just get really intensely wound up together..

#UK #Australia #dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy

I was going to post something the other day about how I had a submissive until about 10 months ago, when we stopped our dynamic.

He is married and his wife had asked him to stop his kink stuff for a time to refocus his energy and time in his marriage and family. He and I had talked when we first started with our thing, and we're very open about how his relationship with his family, and my relationship with Greg, were our priorities and that was how we wanted it. I don't usually do hierarchical relationships, but this suited everyone involved and was a deliberate decision... whereas my issue with hierarchy is that it's often not through deliberate choice, but is just followed because that's "the way it's meant to be".

For some reason the last couple of weeks I'd started thinking about him a fair bit. I had a couple of dreams that he was in, and when I sat down and had a real think about why I was thinking about him I realised it was because I was missing him.

Then, yesterday.. out of the blue, he messaged me on Fetlife. He's reactivated his account, we're chatting again. Things with his wife and family are great and they've agreed that he can go explore his kink side again.

Sometimes the universe is an interesting place.

#relationship #dating #NonMonogamy #kink #bdsm #Ds #Dominant #submissive #fetlife

Old Brompton Cemetery..

#NonMonogamy #relationship #uk2024 #Cemetary

DAY 8

We dropped Lucy at the station in the morning so she could catch the train into her course, and then popped to Tesco to pick up snacks for everyone for movie night. Lucy was going to spend the night at her other husband's place, so we'll get the house to ourselves..although the plan was for us to head over to his place for movie night too.

After picking up snacks (and ingredients to make keto snacks for Lucy), we were going to wander around TKMaxx to find slippers for me and then go get a bubble tea, but Tesco was too loud and my back was too sore, so we just came home.

We had some lunch, and then did housework. I cleaned the kitchen while Greg vaccuumed and did the bathrooms. Then we spent some time chatting and watching TV.. and I mentioned how I didn't want to go for movie night, and that I didn't know if it was just my agoraphobia starting to kick up.

Greg was really supportive, and said that it was ok for us not to go. We decided that was best, and popped the snacks in the car to drop them off for everyone after dinner (lentil pasta sauce, which is one of my really good recipes), and then came back home. The plan was to fool around some before bed, but we were both tired so we just snuggled up and slept.

Squirrel sightings: still 0, damn it
Fox sightings: 6

Post-flight covid test: still negative

#relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #uk2024 #Cats #CatsOfMastodon #KittensOfMastodon #Kitten #Kittens #caturday

DAY 7

During the covid lockdowns Greg and Lucy started a Friday night routine of watching a film with their friend Glen joining them via video call from his home. Sometimes Lucy's other husband would also join in, sometimes I would get up at 4am and also join via a call from Australia. It became our International Non-Monogamous Movie night, and has been something we've all done for the last 3 years or so. It's fun when I'm visiting, because we get to do it in person, complete with pizza, drinking, an often bad horror movie, and running commentary from us all.

However, because Lucy had so much on today with her course and work prep, we shifted it to Saturday night and Greg, Lucy and I watched Umma together instead.. with pizza, drinking, and commentary - so it wasn't that different tbh.

I ordered a magherta pizza which was quite lovely. The best part was the dough, which had a lovely soft chewiness to it. We tried to make mint julep with mint essence instead of fresh herbs, and ended up switching to gin, tonic, and rose water because the mint juleps were like being slapped in the face by a mouthwash soaked towel.

The movie was disappointing. Sandra Oh was an absolute power in the lead role, but the story let her down. She deserved a much better script.

We went to bed and snuggled after the movie. We slept with the blind open so I could wake up with the light, which seems to be slowly sorting out my jet lag.

Squirrel sightings: still 0
Fox sightings: 4

Post-flight covid test: final test, still negative - vaccination works!

#relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #UK2024

DAY 6

Greg was working, so I spent the day sitting on the fold out sofa in the study, which is where we've been sleeping as well. I read (Leave the World Behind by Rumaan Alam), watched tiktoks, and played on my Switch (A Little to the Left), encouraging him to take a break every hour where I played with his junk while he decompressed about how work was going and we chatted and joked. It was a really cozy day.

His wife (let's call her Lucy), was downstairs in her office area all day, prepping for her course and work. She's doing a relationship counselling course which has a three day in person component over the weekend, and has a lot of study to do to get ready for that, as well her job being one that involves a LOT of take-home (unpaid) work.

At one point she said "please don't feel like you have to hide away upstairs.. feel free to come down here and use the lounge room if you want to watch TV or play games.." (her office area is part of the loungeroom sectioned off).

I think I'm still in the clingy part of my visit. I explained that it was a novelty to just look up from my book and see Greg sitting in the same room, instead of being on a screen. Lucy has had a long distance relationship, so she understands.

We all had some dinner (chicken fajitas) and watched some TV together. I went to bed early because I was exhausted by 8pm.. jet lag is still kicking my arse. I felt Greg climb into bed around 11pm, because he'd fallen asleep on the sofa.

Squirrel sightings: 0, but Greg told me he saw one on Wednesday.. so there are some still around
Fox sightings: 7 - big fox day!

Post-flight covid test: negative, but my best friendessaged me to let me know he tested positive

#relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #UK2024

DAY 5

I tested negative for covid again, which meant that we got to go to Greg's place.

I woke up with a hypo and felt awful. I'm having to adjust my insulin dosage because of having a different schedule here. I've already dropped it by 20 units, but I think I'm going to have to drop it further. I went back to bed for a nap that ended up being a couple of hours, Greg let me sleep while he packed up most of our stuff.

I woke up about an hour before we were leaving, packed up my things, and it was time to go.

I'm super thankful to Greg's wife's other husband for letting us take over his flat and quarantine for the first few days of my visit.. but it's so nice to be back in Greg's place, and I've missed hanging out with his wife.

We got back and settled, had some lunch (a sandwich), and then went to pick up his wife from work. We stopped at Lidl on the way home, and then Greg and I prepped dinner while his wife had a therapy call.

After dinner (steak and salad), I got birthday presents and we had a bottle of champagne together.. we watched an episode of HullRaisers and went to bed.

I love these people so much.

Squirrel sightings: 0
Fox sightings: 4 finally!

Post-flight covid test: still negative

#relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #UK2024

DAY 4

We don't have the car, because Greg's wife and her other husband have it so he can drop her at work.. so we spent the day inside again.

I'm not feeling great, because my back is sore and my hip feels wrong. I think it's the soft bed here, Greg has mentioned that his back is a little sore as well.

We just spent the day chatting and watching some TV in the breaks between him working. We've started watching Inside Man, which I've already seen and he's enjoying. We had sandwiches for lunch, and a poor-man chicken parm for dinner.

I feel strangely home sick? But on reflection I think I'm just missing my bed and being able to relax my body properly.

Squirrel sightings: 0
Fox sightings: 0

Post-flight covid test: negative

#relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #UK2024

DAY 3

We spent the day at home. Greg had to work, and I had a headache all day. My back is still out of place from the flight, and I think that's making my neck very tense and giving me a headache.

In his work breaks (I try to prompt him to have a 10 minute break every hour, especially when he's working with big sets of data), we watched some TV and chatted.

I've been listening to a podcast by some of the women who work at DropOut, called Erotic Book Club. They read a different erotic book or story each week, and have a couple of guests on to talk about it. The books are bad, the conversation is great!

The episode I listened to today, they had read a book called Phantom Liaison. It contained a chapter where a phantom watches two people having sex, and the podcast then debated if that constituted a "threesome or cuckold".. the debate was hilarious, and led to me positing the same query to Greg. We spent the rest of the day throwing out different hypothetical situations and asking each other whether it's a threesome, and why. It's been fun and funny, and the conversation has just flowed.

I like that about us. We chat really easily.. always have, right from our first phone call that started with us both stating how much we hate phone calls, how it would probably be a really short call but that the length didn't mean anything about how we felt for each other.

We spoke for almost 3 hours that time.

Squirrel sightings: still 0
Fox sightings: still 0

Post-flight covid test: still negative

#relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #UK2024

DAY 2

We took a trip to Costco, to buy some things in for my visit and to just get out of the house.

I always get anxious when Greg drives here, the roads in Bathurst are super wide and because it's a regional area cars mostly stay back from each other. Here it seems like everyone is tailgating and there are a lot of small differences in the road rules that put me in edge to watch him navigate. He's a good driver, I just find that difficult to remember.

I was going to have a Costco hot dog for lunch (I absolutely love them! And they're different in the UK), but the lines were too much to deal with and we just wanted to come home. On the way we stopped at Sainsbury's to pick up some things for Greg's wife, then he dropped me at the flat and dropped the groceries to her.. the shuffled the car and dropped Greg back here. Then we sorted out lunch (tuna and salad - it was great to eat a salad after flying!), showered, and just hung out for a while. Greg played Moss on the Quest2 while I read and watched him.

Sometimes I just spend time looking at him, because of the novelty of being in the same space again.

We watched some TV. I introduced him to Fargo, and he's enjoying it.. unfortunately it's not a great re-watch, which surprises me.

We headed to be around 10.30pm, and played... there was some edging and a ruined orgasm, and a lot of laughter. I think one of my favourite things about us is how much we laugh during sex.. I've never really gotten to do that with other partners because they assume they're being laughed at, and not laughed with.

We fell asleep listening to the wind.

Squirrel sightings: 0
Fox sightings: 0

Post-flight covid test: still negative

#relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #UK2024

DAY 1

I woke up around 4am, and we messed around a little.

Greg's been helping test an app that tracks edging sessions, and about a week before I left he mentioned that he was up to 999 edges since his last orgasm. We decided it would be nice to have his 1000th edge together, so when we've been playing we've been "edging edging".. which means he stops before he even gets to an edge, and the idea is to just stay aroused but not really let it go anywhere.

With that in mind, I gave him a long session of really intense oral. We've talked before about how one of my favourite things to do with someone is just give really long slow sessions of oral and tease them for extended periods. Usually I'll have someone bound so they can't push into it or wiggle away, and I get to set the pace of everything and just play with them. Greg and I haven't really done that before, but over the last year or so we've been experimenting with over stimulation for him.. so we got to play around with that a little. I had so much fun, and he mentioned later about how surprised he always is by how much I enjoy just giving blow jobs (hi, service sub.. so, yes!). This was the play session where he gave me those amazing compliments and made those hilarious squeaking noises.

After a while we stopped and slept for a couple more hours before getting up for the day.

We ate breakfast and talked about what we were going to do. We decided to take a trip to Tesco to pick up a few more things we needed.

I enjoy wandering around supermarkets in other countries because I find the little differences in things quite fascinating. I saw gravy sold in a can like soda or beer is at home.

We got home and had lunch (cheese toasties, and ordered in a bubble tea), and watched a couple of episodes of All Creatures Great and Small. I'd watched the couple of seasons on the plane, and Greg has jumped in watching part way through. We're both really enjoying it.

I had a bit of a nap in the afternoon, snuggled up to him while he told me a story and played with my hair. Then we had some dinner (chili over the left over chips from the night before), watched some more TV, and went to bed around 10pm.

Squirrel count: 0
Fox count: 0

Post-flight covid test: negative

#relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #UK2024

DAY 0

I landed around 1.30pm (UK time), and Greg met me at the airport. He messaged me before I through customs to let me know what baggage carousel my luggage would be at and that he was feeling teary and might cry when he saw me.

I grabbed my bags, and met him at the exit gate.. and he immediately took my bags and lead me outside to the car and away from the crowds of people, which was exactly what I needed in that moment. I was tossing up whether to ask if we could stop at a store to buy a drink, and he mentioned that he had different drinks and snacks in the car for me.

We drove back to where we're staying - Greg's wife's other husband's flat. We're not going back to Greg's at the moment because if I have picked up covid during travel we don't want to give it to anyone else.. so we're quarantining for a few days.

When we arrived I got my birthday present (yay!) and cards. He always gets a joke card for me and then a serious one. The joke card had a big "50" on the front when I pulled it out of the envelope, which was actually weirdly confronting to see. I thought I was fine about turning 50, but apparently there's part of my brain that's not happy about it. I got a shower, we had dinner (ordered in fish and chips) and watched some TV, and then went to bed.

#relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #UK2024