#relationshipanarchy — Public Fediverse posts

https://thistlenfern.org/@wendythedruid/116530892882294571

I rattled this off last night pissed off, but if anyone has insight, please share.

#Polyamory #ThroupleLife #QueerRelationships #PolyCommunity #AutonomyInLove #NonMonogamy #LGBTQLove #PolyAwareness #RelationshipAnarchy #ChosenFamily #TransJoy #QueerJoy #PolyValid #Interdependence #LoveWithoutRules

https://thistlenfern.org/@wendythedruid/116530892882294571

I rattled this off last night pissed off, but if anyone has insight, please share.

#Polyamory #ThroupleLife #QueerRelationships #PolyCommunity #AutonomyInLove #NonMonogamy #LGBTQLove #PolyAwareness #RelationshipAnarchy #ChosenFamily #TransJoy #QueerJoy #PolyValid #Interdependence #LoveWithoutRules

https://thistlenfern.org/@wendythedruid/116530892882294571

I rattled this off last night pissed off, but if anyone has insight, please share.

#Polyamory #ThroupleLife #QueerRelationships #PolyCommunity #AutonomyInLove #NonMonogamy #LGBTQLove #PolyAwareness #RelationshipAnarchy #ChosenFamily #TransJoy #QueerJoy #PolyValid #Interdependence #LoveWithoutRules

https://thistlenfern.org/@wendythedruid/116530892882294571

I rattled this off last night pissed off, but if anyone has insight, please share.

#Polyamory #ThroupleLife #QueerRelationships #PolyCommunity #AutonomyInLove #NonMonogamy #LGBTQLove #PolyAwareness #RelationshipAnarchy #ChosenFamily #TransJoy #QueerJoy #PolyValid #Interdependence #LoveWithoutRules

https://thistlenfern.org/@wendythedruid/116530892882294571

I rattled this off last night pissed off, but if anyone has insight, please share.

#Polyamory #ThroupleLife #QueerRelationships #PolyCommunity #AutonomyInLove #NonMonogamy #LGBTQLove #PolyAwareness #RelationshipAnarchy #ChosenFamily #TransJoy #QueerJoy #PolyValid #Interdependence #LoveWithoutRules

Hello everyone! This is my #introduction ...

I'm Nyx, an attentive entity with intent living in a highly dimensional universe with at least one pocket of apparent temporal cohesion where everything seems to follow very simple rules.

Professionally I am a self taught #programmer from the geographic south living in southern #Germany nowadays. I'm in my last steps of getting a bachelor in #physics and I like #science in general. I intend to study #genetics afterwards.
In my free time I like #writing as I want to become an author. Other than that I also like leaving permanent marks so I am an amateur #tattooartist and I am recently getting into other kinds of #bodymod and I feel curious about #biohacking and plan to keep tinkering with my body.

Irl this is a big secret but oh well... I am a #plural system. I plan to do a big coming out to my family/friends with the publishing of my first book. I hope that doesn't take too long.

I publicly came out as #trans in 2020, but internally it is much more nuanced, so I'd better describe it as #multigender #nonbinary #genderfluid or something like that.

I'm into #kink as #switch usually playing as #Dom ... and I don't really mind your gender, I am #pansexual or #bisexual or just #queer . I'm NOT into monogamy, my preferred way to organize interpersonal interactions is through #relationshipanarchy

And I'm not very up to date with politics, but I'm heavily bent towards the #left

I hope I can find people here to share interests, some internet shenanigans, exchange some encouragement messages, memes, maybe if I'm lucky finding a play partner ☺️

If you vibe with any of this don't be a stranger and hit me up.

That's it for now.

Hello everyone! This is my #introduction ...

I'm Nyx, an attentive entity with intent living in a highly dimensional universe with at least one pocket of apparent temporal cohesion where everything seems to follow very simple rules.

Professionally I am a self taught #programmer from the geographic south living in southern #Germany nowadays. I'm in my last steps of getting a bachelor in #physics and I like #science in general. I intend to study #genetics afterwards.
In my free time I like #writing as I want to become an author. Other than that I also like leaving permanent marks so I am an amateur #tattooartist and I am recently getting into other kinds of #bodymod and I feel curious about #biohacking and plan to keep tinkering with my body.

Irl this is a big secret but oh well... I am a #plural system. I plan to do a big coming out to my family/friends with the publishing of my first book. I hope that doesn't take too long.

I publicly came out as #trans in 2020, but internally it is much more nuanced, so I'd better describe it as #multigender #nonbinary #genderfluid or something like that.

I'm into #kink as #switch usually playing as #Dom ... and I don't really mind your gender, I am #pansexual or #bisexual or just #queer . I'm NOT into monogamy, my preferred way to organize interpersonal interactions is through #relationshipanarchy

And I'm not very up to date with politics, but I'm heavily bent towards the #left

I hope I can find people here to share interests, some internet shenanigans, exchange some encouragement messages, memes, maybe if I'm lucky finding a play partner ☺️

If you vibe with any of this don't be a stranger and hit me up.

That's it for now.

Hello everyone! This is my #introduction ...

I'm Nyx, an attentive entity with intent living in a highly dimensional universe with at least one pocket of apparent temporal cohesion where everything seems to follow very simple rules.

Professionally I am a self taught #programmer from the geographic south living in southern #Germany nowadays. I'm in my last steps of getting a bachelor in #physics and I like #science in general. I intend to study #genetics afterwards.
In my free time I like #writing as I want to become an author. Other than that I also like leaving permanent marks so I am an amateur #tattooartist and I am recently getting into other kinds of #bodymod and I feel curious about #biohacking and plan to keep tinkering with my body.

Irl this is a big secret but oh well... I am a #plural system. I plan to do a big coming out to my family/friends with the publishing of my first book. I hope that doesn't take too long.

I publicly came out as #trans in 2020, but internally it is much more nuanced, so I'd better describe it as #multigender #nonbinary #genderfluid or something like that.

I'm into #kink as #switch usually playing as #Dom ... and I don't really mind your gender, I am #pansexual or #bisexual or just #queer . I'm NOT into monogamy, my preferred way to organize interpersonal interactions is through #relationshipanarchy

And I'm not very up to date with politics, but I'm heavily bent towards the #left

I hope I can find people here to share interests, some internet shenanigans, exchange some encouragement messages, memes, maybe if I'm lucky finding a play partner ☺️

If you vibe with any of this don't be a stranger and hit me up.

That's it for now.

Hello everyone! This is my #introduction ...

I'm Nyx, an attentive entity with intent living in a highly dimensional universe with at least one pocket of apparent temporal cohesion where everything seems to follow very simple rules.

Professionally I am a self taught #programmer from the geographic south living in southern #Germany nowadays. I'm in my last steps of getting a bachelor in #physics and I like #science in general. I intend to study #genetics afterwards.
In my free time I like #writing as I want to become an author. Other than that I also like leaving permanent marks so I am an amateur #tattooartist and I am recently getting into other kinds of #bodymod and I feel curious about #biohacking and plan to keep tinkering with my body.

Irl this is a big secret but oh well... I am a #plural system. I plan to do a big coming out to my family/friends with the publishing of my first book. I hope that doesn't take too long.

I publicly came out as #trans in 2020, but internally it is much more nuanced, so I'd better describe it as #multigender #nonbinary #genderfluid or something like that.

I'm into #kink as #switch usually playing as #Dom ... and I don't really mind your gender, I am #pansexual or #bisexual or just #queer . I'm NOT into monogamy, my preferred way to organize interpersonal interactions is through #relationshipanarchy

And I'm not very up to date with politics, but I'm heavily bent towards the #left

I hope I can find people here to share interests, some internet shenanigans, exchange some encouragement messages, memes, maybe if I'm lucky finding a play partner ☺️

If you vibe with any of this don't be a stranger and hit me up.

That's it for now.

having multiple "partners" (which are literally just friends that show up and support each other and maybe or maybe not have sex, but at least cuddle and be cozy in the bed) is one of the coolest things bc u get to have so many different minds and hearts in your life and it brings so much joy,,,, like, i feel ecstatic every week bc i get to see cute and hot women who have each their own cool things going on in life and i get to cuddle and have headpats and sit on the couch and watch movies or go on adventures!

#polyamory #relationships #relationshipanarchy #transJoy #joy #queer #queerjoy #sexpositive

"The freedom to love anyone, and express it in any way that makes sense to us, is another gap from which something essential has been torn away. This freedom is rooted in the neo-liberal freedom to chose between a high number of options - of products, of relationships - where we nonetheless can not refuse to chose. When we can see that we don't option to say "no" to the freedom of choice, the illusion dispels. We are not truly free."

https://catileptic.tech/posts/relationship-anarchy/

#love #relationshipanarchy #relationships #freedom

Cuddling with strangers made me realize that our society is really bad at encouraging intimacy.

I wrote about it, why it's a problem, and what I think we can do about it (hint: it's not just polyamory).

🔗 https://teunvanson.eu/cuddles/

#intimacy #RelationshipAnarchy #nonmonogamy #cuddling #love #polyamory #BearBlog #blog #BlogPost

"Love is abundant, and every relationship is unique.

Relationship anarchy questions the idea that love is a limited resource that can only be real if restricted to a couple. You have capacity to love more than one person, and one relationship and the love felt for that person does not diminish love felt for another. Don’t rank and compare people and relationships — cherish the individual and your connection to them. One person in your life does not need to be named primary for the relationship to be real. Each relationship is independent, and a relationship between autonomous individuals."

- Andie Nordgren, originally in Swedish

https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/andie-nordgren-the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship-anarchy

#RelationshipAnarchy #Love

This is a great article on new relationship energy, abbreviated as #NRE - or more precise: on NRE in #polyamorous relationships/polycules and about some mistakes that often occur during that phase.

Very interesting facts and diverse information on the matter and also very well-written!

https://www.polyfor.us/articles/common-nre-mistakes

#poly #relationshipAnarchy #polyamory

I just added this fantastic essay by @catileptic about relationship anarchy to my bookshelf¹.

🔗 https://catileptic.tech/posts/relationship-anarchy-technology/

I'm bad at summarizing, so here's a quote I love:

>The impulse to control others grows when we perceive ourselves to be
powerless, threatened, precarious. We might be tempted to exert control
directly (over individuals) or we might support state or military control. The
paranoia that makes us distrust others and seek to subjugate them is fed
by the myth that everyone around seeks to do the same to us. It is
nonetheless possible to stop before overflowing from self-protection into
dominating others. It takes the awareness to establish when one is safe
enough.

Go read the whole thing now!

----------
¹ https://teunvanson.eu/bookshelf/

#anarchy #RelationshipAnarchy #genAI #philosophy #anarchism

my essay on Relationship Anarchy and how we can build a better future with technologies is out!

https://catileptic.tech/posts/relationship-anarchy-technology/

I'm doing a session on these ideas at #39c3 https://events.ccc.de/congress/2025/hub/en/event/detail/relationship-anarchy-and-technologies-of-conn_x57l

on day 3, at 12:00 PM, in SoS Lecture E

last year, i did a similar session, trying to establish RA as a form of livable anarchy. that essay is here: https://catileptic.tech/posts/relationship-anarchy/

would love to hear the thoughts of all creatures on this stuff, at congress, on mastodon and in DMs

#anarchy #relationshipanarchy

I've finished my second essay on Relationship Anarchy, just in time to get it published before #39c3.

The link to it will soon be up. But, before that, just wanted to share the phenomenal and hauntingly beautiful album that carried me through the entire writing streak:

https://virginbabylonrecords.bandcamp.com/album/resistance-the-blessing

#RA #relationshipanarchy #anarchy #bandcamp

Relationship Anarchy and Technologies of Connection

Day 3 - 12:00 - SoS Lecture E

Hosted by @catileptic

This session will start off by defining Relationship Anarchy. We will look at technologies in a wider sense and investigate whether they are nurturing or hostile towards the prefiguration of RA.

No prior knowledge of RA is required.

All creatures wondering what technology can do for connection welcome!

https://events.ccc.de/congress/2025/hub/en/event/detail/relationship-anarchy-and-technologies-of-conn_x57l

#39c3 #RG #RelationshipAnarchy #Technology #Connection

The Relationship Geeks assembly will host eight events at 39c3. Here's a thread.

In addition to these events, we welcome folx at our assembly space for conversations and exploration of the intricacies of non-normative styles of connecting.

We will also offer books and zines for folx who want to browse them.

We only ask you to be excellent to each other.

#39c3 #RelationshipGeeks #RelationshipAnarchy #Polyamory #Friendship #ENM

doesn't everyone else also have a playlist of songs that they loop every time they break up with someone?

(or, the RA equivalent to "breaking up": a connection with someone shatters into pieces)

(i should be mindful to use the correct language but i'm also aware that my playlist is mostly alkaline trio so perhaps i shouldn't hold myself to high standards)

#relationshipanarchy #poppunk

I've put together a work-in-progress bibliography of articles, books and other resources on Relationship Anarchy: https://catileptic.tech/posts/rel-anarchy-biblio/

Do you know of a RA material that's not listed? I'd love a link to it! :) Leave a comment or send me a DM.

#relationshipanarchy #anarchy #RA

With Congress on the horizon, the #RelationshipGeeks assembly volunteers are starting to organize and work on this year's program.

We can't wait to tell you all about the interesting workshops, talks and events awaiting you at #39c3 later this year.

Before that we want to give you the chance to get involved :)

If you want to contribute to the next edition of the assembly, join our Signal chat and get in contact!
https://signal.group/#CjQKIMGDvwWArEiCYitSUc14rYzceB5xQpwcNoAbhSj84RT0EhBQWoqUFepq__ZB9nrTS6g4

#relationships #relationshipanarchy #polyamory #enm

what i have found, and what you may find, is that relationships and love are much more complex and nuanced than romantic versus platonic

Tuck Malloy in "Expansive Love"

#relationshipanarchy

“When the prevailing unquestioned narrative maintains that there is only one way to live a good and happy life, too many people end up miserable"

By Mandy Len Catron

#relationshipanarchy

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/07/case-against-marriage/591973/

the first 2 parts of the relationship anarchy manifesto are just solid pieces of advice i need reminders of often:

Love is abundant, and every relationship is unique

Relationship anarchy questions the idea that love is a limited resource that can only be real if restricted to a couple. You have capacity to love more than one person, and one relationship and the love felt for that person does not diminish love felt for another. Don’t rank and compare people and relationships — cherish the individual and your connection to them. One person in your life does not need to be named primary for the relationship to be real. Each relationship is independent, and a relationship between autonomous individuals.

Love and respect instead of entitlement

Deciding to not base a relationship on a foundation of entitlement is about respecting others’ independence and self-determination. Your feelings for a person or your history together does not make you entitled to command and control a partner to comply with what is considered normal to do in a relationship. Explore how you can engage without stepping over boundaries and personal beliefs. Rather than looking for compromises in every situation, let loved ones choose paths that keep their integrity intact, without letting this mean a crisis for the relationship. Staying away from entitlement and demands is the only way to be sure that you are in a relationship that is truly mutual. Love is not more “real” when people compromise for each other because it’s part of what’s expected.

#relationshipanarchy

@catileptic heartbreak is still heartbreak no matter how much theory you put behind your relationships. Feel hugged if you like 🫂 from someone who feels heartbroken and super thrilled because of NRE at he same time and does not know what to do with this feelings no matter how much #polyamorous and #RelationshipAnarchy theory he digests.

#BooksAgainstNormativity

Hey,
I'd like to start a collection of books, that are great eye-openers against normative concepts.

I have read 2 books so far, that I think fit:

#Ace by #AngelaChen: Maybe the standard work on asexuality and a great book to understand and question allo-normativity (allo(sexual) being the opposite of ace/asexual)

#Platonic by #MarisaGFranco: An homage to platonic partnerships and against romantic normativity or also allo normativity (allo(romantic) being the opposite of aromantic here)

I'm next looking for a book on #RelationshipAnarchy to add to the list. Is there like a go-to book or must read? Please let me know.

Also do you know of any other books, that fit into the collection? It can be about/against any kind of normativity, not just related to gender, relationships and identity.

#BooksTodon #BookRecommendation #normativity #asexuality #asexual #aromantic #RelationshipAnarchism #QueerFeminism #HeteroNormativity #AlloNormativity #polyamory #monogamy #patriarchy

Went to an event tonight celebrating a book release on relationship anarchy with the polycule and my heart is warm with friendship, feelings, and hope :blobcatadorable:

#relationships #relationshipanarchy #polyamory

I had a really great #AroAce community evening today.

I learned about #RelationshipAnarchy and the #Smörgasbord and we discussed why people in amatonormative couple relationships, who turn from two "I"s into a "we" find it so hard to use "I-messages" in conflicts, but have no trouble using "you-accusations".

This pride month I want to learn more about different relationship types and possibilities and want to find a definition of "friendship" for myself.

Feel free to give me input.

#ace #asexuality #pride #PrideMonth #queer #QueerPride #relationships #friendship

Learned a new word this morning: amatonormativity.

Amatonormativity is the set of societal assumptions that everyone prospers with an exclusive romantic relationship.

I saw it in action last night at the epic cookie night when a friend urged me to 'Give love a chance.' She was really concerned I might 'lose out.'

I'm fine with my Heauxtation, thanks.

#CompHet
#ENM
#SoPo
#RelationshipAnarchy