#fucktheuk — Public Fediverse posts

We don't have the spoons for a detailed post. We've written other posts recently giving updates on some of our struggles, but we needed to get the thoughts out of our head before sleep tonight 🥺😔

We're realistically facing a situation very soon where we'll officially be told that we're not going to get any gender-affirming surgeries from NHS England whatsoever, making the last nearly 5 years of trying to progress through this dehumanising, anxiety-inducing, decorating, belittling, gatekeeping, outdated process completely worthless :Sighing_Face:

We already had to accept we could never get FFS.

We tried twice to convince them to give us VFS, but they said no, and gave us no actual further voice training help.

We knew that trying to get PPT vaginoplasty would be a longshot, but we never expected:

• to have PPT basically badmouthed during a consultation;
• to hear basic PIV or scrotal flap techniques described as the "gold standard" (!!!) for genital reconfiguration surgery (GRS);
• to be told that the only surgeon who'd see us is one we'd never, ever trust or want anywhere near us, especially after having specifically requested another surgeon (the only one we'd trust in the UK for GRS); and
• that we'd need to go back begging to our gender clinic -- which no longer responds to our emails at all -- to try to convince them to submit a funding request for a basic standalone bilateral orchidectomy and scrotectomy... which would have been required anyway as part of PIV or vulvoplasty!!!

We've reached the point where we don't think we can get any joy from seeing other trans+ folks' joy and euphoria from making progress in their own transitions, particularly surgeries, as we can't help but feel so painfully sad crushingly jealous and upset that we cannot get even the most basic care after waiting even longer 😔

And nope: we've zero chance of being able to ever even fund the cheapest of surgeries privately.

Apologies for the sad dump. We needed to write it all out to have any chance at getting to sleep soon :BlobCatSad:

#EOEGS #NHS #NHSEngland #FuckTheNHS #FuckEngland #FuckTheUK #GenderAffirmingSurgery #GenderAffirmingHealthcare #gatekeeping #trans #transgender #NonBinary #TransFem #GRS #GenderDysphoria #transition #PPT #PIV #FFS #VFS #orchidectomy #FML #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #LackOfTransJoy

We don't have the spoons for a detailed post. We've written other posts recently giving updates on some of our struggles, but we needed to get the thoughts out of our head before sleep tonight 🥺😔

We're realistically facing a situation very soon where we'll officially be told that we're not going to get any gender-affirming surgeries from NHS England whatsoever, making the last nearly 5 years of trying to progress through this dehumanising, anxiety-inducing, decorating, belittling, gatekeeping, outdated process completely worthless :Sighing_Face:

We already had to accept we could never get FFS.

We tried twice to convince them to give us VFS, but they said no, and gave us no actual further voice training help.

We knew that trying to get PPT vaginoplasty would be a longshot, but we never expected:

• to have PPT basically badmouthed during a consultation;
• to hear basic PIV or scrotal flap techniques described as the "gold standard" (!!!) for genital reconfiguration surgery (GRS);
• to be told that the only surgeon who'd see us is one we'd never, ever trust or want anywhere near us, especially after having specifically requested another surgeon (the only one we'd trust in the UK for GRS); and
• that we'd need to go back begging to our gender clinic -- which no longer responds to our emails at all -- to try to convince them to submit a funding request for a basic standalone bilateral orchidectomy and scrotectomy... which would have been required anyway as part of PIV or vulvoplasty!!!

We've reached the point where we don't think we can get any joy from seeing other trans+ folks' joy and euphoria from making progress in their own transitions, particularly surgeries, as we can't help but feel so painfully sad crushingly jealous and upset that we cannot get even the most basic care after waiting even longer 😔

And nope: we've zero chance of being able to ever even fund the cheapest of surgeries privately.

Apologies for the sad dump. We needed to write it all out to have any chance at getting to sleep soon :BlobCatSad:

#EOEGS #NHS #NHSEngland #FuckTheNHS #FuckEngland #FuckTheUK #GenderAffirmingSurgery #GenderAffirmingHealthcare #gatekeeping #trans #transgender #NonBinary #TransFem #GRS #GenderDysphoria #transition #PPT #PIV #FFS #VFS #orchidectomy #FML #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #LackOfTransJoy

We don't have the spoons for a detailed post. We've written other posts recently giving updates on some of our struggles, but we needed to get the thoughts out of our head before sleep tonight 🥺😔

We're realistically facing a situation very soon where we'll officially be told that we're not going to get any gender-affirming surgeries from NHS England whatsoever, making the last nearly 5 years of trying to progress through this dehumanising, anxiety-inducing, decorating, belittling, gatekeeping, outdated process completely worthless :Sighing_Face:

We already had to accept we could never get FFS.

We tried twice to convince them to give us VFS, but they said no, and gave us no actual further voice training help.

We knew that trying to get PPT vaginoplasty would be a longshot, but we never expected:

• to have PPT basically badmouthed during a consultation;
• to hear basic PIV or scrotal flap techniques described as the "gold standard" (!!!) for genital reconfiguration surgery (GRS);
• to be told that the only surgeon who'd see us is one we'd never, ever trust or want anywhere near us, especially after having specifically requested another surgeon (the only one we'd trust in the UK for GRS); and
• that we'd need to go back begging to our gender clinic -- which no longer responds to our emails at all -- to try to convince them to submit a funding request for a basic standalone bilateral orchidectomy and scrotectomy... which would have been required anyway as part of PIV or vulvoplasty!!!

We've reached the point where we don't think we can get any joy from seeing other trans+ folks' joy and euphoria from making progress in their own transitions, particularly surgeries, as we can't help but feel so painfully sad crushingly jealous and upset that we cannot get even the most basic care after waiting even longer 😔

And nope: we've zero chance of being able to ever even fund the cheapest of surgeries privately.

Apologies for the sad dump. We needed to write it all out to have any chance at getting to sleep soon :BlobCatSad:

#EOEGS #NHS #NHSEngland #FuckTheNHS #FuckEngland #FuckTheUK #GenderAffirmingSurgery #GenderAffirmingHealthcare #gatekeeping #trans #transgender #NonBinary #TransFem #GRS #GenderDysphoria #transition #PPT #PIV #FFS #VFS #orchidectomy #FML #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #LackOfTransJoy

We don't have the spoons for a detailed post. We've written other posts recently giving updates on some of our struggles, but we needed to get the thoughts out of our head before sleep tonight 🥺😔

We're realistically facing a situation very soon where we'll officially be told that we're not going to get any gender-affirming surgeries from NHS England whatsoever, making the last nearly 5 years of trying to progress through this dehumanising, anxiety-inducing, decorating, belittling, gatekeeping, outdated process completely worthless :Sighing_Face:

We already had to accept we could never get FFS.

We tried twice to convince them to give us VFS, but they said no, and gave us no actual further voice training help.

We knew that trying to get PPT vaginoplasty would be a longshot, but we never expected:

• to have PPT basically badmouthed during a consultation;
• to hear basic PIV or scrotal flap techniques described as the "gold standard" (!!!) for genital reconfiguration surgery (GRS);
• to be told that the only surgeon who'd see us is one we'd never, ever trust or want anywhere near us, especially after having specifically requested another surgeon (the only one we'd trust in the UK for GRS); and
• that we'd need to go back begging to our gender clinic -- which no longer responds to our emails at all -- to try to convince them to submit a funding request for a basic standalone bilateral orchidectomy and scrotectomy... which would have been required anyway as part of PIV or vulvoplasty!!!

We've reached the point where we don't think we can get any joy from seeing other trans+ folks' joy and euphoria from making progress in their own transitions, particularly surgeries, as we can't help but feel so painfully sad crushingly jealous and upset that we cannot get even the most basic care after waiting even longer 😔

And nope: we've zero chance of being able to ever even fund the cheapest of surgeries privately.

Apologies for the sad dump. We needed to write it all out to have any chance at getting to sleep soon :BlobCatSad:

#EOEGS #NHS #NHSEngland #FuckTheNHS #FuckEngland #FuckTheUK #GenderAffirmingSurgery #GenderAffirmingHealthcare #gatekeeping #trans #transgender #NonBinary #TransFem #GRS #GenderDysphoria #transition #PPT #PIV #FFS #VFS #orchidectomy #FML #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #LackOfTransJoy

We don't have the spoons for a detailed post. We've written other posts recently giving updates on some of our struggles, but we needed to get the thoughts out of our head before sleep tonight 🥺😔

We're realistically facing a situation very soon where we'll officially be told that we're not going to get any gender-affirming surgeries from NHS England whatsoever, making the last nearly 5 years of trying to progress through this dehumanising, anxiety-inducing, decorating, belittling, gatekeeping, outdated process completely worthless :Sighing_Face:

We already had to accept we could never get FFS.

We tried twice to convince them to give us VFS, but they said no, and gave us no actual further voice training help.

We knew that trying to get PPT vaginoplasty would be a longshot, but we never expected:

• to have PPT basically badmouthed during a consultation;
• to hear basic PIV or scrotal flap techniques described as the "gold standard" (!!!) for genital reconfiguration surgery (GRS);
• to be told that the only surgeon who'd see us is one we'd never, ever trust or want anywhere near us, especially after having specifically requested another surgeon (the only one we'd trust in the UK for GRS); and
• that we'd need to go back begging to our gender clinic -- which no longer responds to our emails at all -- to try to convince them to submit a funding request for a basic standalone bilateral orchidectomy and scrotectomy... which would have been required anyway as part of PIV or vulvoplasty!!!

We've reached the point where we don't think we can get any joy from seeing other trans+ folks' joy and euphoria from making progress in their own transitions, particularly surgeries, as we can't help but feel so painfully sad crushingly jealous and upset that we cannot get even the most basic care after waiting even longer 😔

And nope: we've zero chance of being able to ever even fund the cheapest of surgeries privately.

Apologies for the sad dump. We needed to write it all out to have any chance at getting to sleep soon :BlobCatSad:

#EOEGS #NHS #NHSEngland #FuckTheNHS #FuckEngland #FuckTheUK #GenderAffirmingSurgery #GenderAffirmingHealthcare #gatekeeping #trans #transgender #NonBinary #TransFem #GRS #GenderDysphoria #transition #PPT #PIV #FFS #VFS #orchidectomy #FML #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #LackOfTransJoy

If you're a British citizen and/or UK resident, please consider reviewing and signing the below petition 🩷

UK Government and Parliament - Do not ban children from using virtual private networks

We call upon the UK Government to reject any calls or lobbying that propose to restrict or ban the use of virtual private networks ("VPNs") for children, because of the impact this would have on other VPN users.

More details

An amendment agreed by the House of Lords proposes an addition to the Children's Wellbeing and Schools Bill: "Action to prohibit the provision of VPN services to children in the United Kingdom". The method and implementation would likely rely on 3rd-party facial scans or ID checks, which we believe are invasive. Thus, such a law would cause massive collateral damage for the millions of current users who rely on VPNs for privacy and security.

Regardless of your citizenship or residency, boosts, quote boosts, and shares will be very much appreciated 🫶

#BoostsWelcome #PleaseBoost #fediverse #UK #UKPol # UKPolitics #FuckTheUK #VPN #VPNBan #censorship #petition #UKGovernment

We are so very, very tired of everything going wrong 🥺😔

We've had issues ongoing for years, but everything just keeps getting worse and it feels like every week brings a whole new opportunity for things to go wrong.

Here are just a few of the highlights of the last year and a bit:

• Mental health worsened, entering full AuDHD burnout, with increasing anxiety and mood instability.
• We got made redundant from a job we were clinging on to.
  • It also took us about 6 months to finally get any benefits, so we ate through our entire redundancy payment, final salary payment, and some savings.
• Wife broke her ankle very badly, requiring an awful stay in hospital.
  • When she got out, 17 days later, we became her primary carer.
  • We had already been increasingly looking after her, as her health issues had worsened over years, but this dialled it up to 11.
  • We entered carer burnout, on top of the AuDHD one.
  • Even after her ankle fully healed and she'd done months of physicaly therapy, our wife's health and mobility declined due to issues unrelated to the ankle, which has further increased her reliance on us for care, and the NHS is going at a snail's pace.
  • She's pretty much in constant pain, struggling massively, and there's very little we can do to help, despite her being so grateful to us 😔
• We started ADHD meds, and eventually started to feel like we were getting somewhere with a combo of meds, only for them to email us today with a suggested backwards change they want to make that will fuck us over royally, and gave us a mild panic attack.
  • We had to contact them immediately to request an urgent call to discuss, but we now feel like the rug's been pulled out from under us.
• We tried to get actual mental health support through the NHS as far back as May, but due to incompetence, poor administration, and an unwillingness to meet basic accommodations, it's still not happened and is unlikely to happen.
• Our already fractured relationship with our assigned gender clinic broke down to the point where they no longer respond to us.
  • They wouldn't even let us know what an appointment they'd scheduled was about.
  • They wouldn't even respond to the relevant NHS PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service) when we asked for their help.
• We finally got offered some voice training assistance through the NHS, but they completely wasted our time and broke us more.
  • Over 3 separate hour-long assessments, including one with their lead speech and language therapist, they decided that they couldn't help us voice train, that the problems we were having were all in our head, and tried to fob us off to a psychologist to overcome our perceived issues!!!
  • When we asked them to support an Individual Funding Request (IFR) for Voice Feminisation Surgery (VFS), they not only refused, but the reasons given were a mixture of misrepresentations and outright untruths.
  • Despite saying that they couldn't help us, their refusal to support an IFR advised that we could always come back to them in 6 months to try again 😑
• We finally progressed enough through the NHS "care pathway" to discuss options for genital reconfiguration surgery (GRS), but -- as we've written in detail here, it went very, very poorly.
  • Had to do 2 very difficult emails to try to work out next steps, if any, to go with our backup option, but it's looking increasing like we're not going to be even able to get that from the NHS, and we cannot afford to get it done privately.
• Trans+ rights and access to healthcare are continuing to be rolled back and further limited, piece by piece, with no hope of that changing in the near future... or even at all.
• Oh, and the senior partner at our NHS GP surgery -- whom we very much trust and who actually cares -- is semi-retiring this year, and they were kind of our last lifeline in the NHS for wading through most of the shit 🙃

NGL: if we didn't have responsibilities and obligations to wife, cattens, and friends, as well as certain others in the community, we'd be seriously planning a homebrew version of Dignitas-level stuff right now.

It no longer feels like we're just treading water.

It feels like we're caught in rapids, desperately clinging to any rocks we can along the way, trying not to drown as the water increasingly fills our lungs.

But it doesn't matter how exhausted we are, how much it hurts, or how much everything sucks: we don't have the freedom to let go.

So instead we're doing everything within our limited power, resources, and capabilities to keep on swimming, staying conscious as we drown, and learn somehow to breath underwater.

If you've read this far, apologies for all of this. We could have said nothing, but we needed to be honest about how bad everything is.

And if per chance some of you are more-technically-savvy, and know what we mean by TOR and Dread, and could perhaps privately offer to share some info over Signal or Matrix regarding backup "supplies" for the ADHD stuff, we'd be much obliged. (We've got the GAHT stuff covered at least, as well as certain other meds. Just struggling with the ADHD stuff, particularly guanfacine / Intuniv.)

#MentalHealth #anxiety #depression #MoodDysregulation #MoodInstability #neurodivergent #neurodivergence #neurospicy #neurospiciness #AuDHD #AuDHDBurnout #burnout #CarerBurnout #NHS #NHSEngland #trans #transgender #NonBinary #enby #TransRightsAreHumanRights #TransRights #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #FuckTheUK #HereBeDragons

We are so very, very tired of everything going wrong 🥺😔

We've had issues ongoing for years, but everything just keeps getting worse and it feels like every week brings a whole new opportunity for things to go wrong.

Here are just a few of the highlights of the last year and a bit:

• Mental health worsened, entering full AuDHD burnout, with increasing anxiety and mood instability.
• We got made redundant from a job we were clinging on to.
  • It also took us about 6 months to finally get any benefits, so we ate through our entire redundancy payment, final salary payment, and some savings.
• Wife broke her ankle very badly, requiring an awful stay in hospital.
  • When she got out, 17 days later, we became her primary carer.
  • We had already been increasingly looking after her, as her health issues had worsened over years, but this dialled it up to 11.
  • We entered carer burnout, on top of the AuDHD one.
  • Even after her ankle fully healed and she'd done months of physicaly therapy, our wife's health and mobility declined due to issues unrelated to the ankle, which has further increased her reliance on us for care, and the NHS is going at a snail's pace.
  • She's pretty much in constant pain, struggling massively, and there's very little we can do to help, despite her being so grateful to us 😔
• We started ADHD meds, and eventually started to feel like we were getting somewhere with a combo of meds, only for them to email us today with a suggested backwards change they want to make that will fuck us over royally, and gave us a mild panic attack.
  • We had to contact them immediately to request an urgent call to discuss, but we now feel like the rug's been pulled out from under us.
• We tried to get actual mental health support through the NHS as far back as May, but due to incompetence, poor administration, and an unwillingness to meet basic accommodations, it's still not happened and is unlikely to happen.
• Our already fractured relationship with our assigned gender clinic broke down to the point where they no longer respond to us.
  • They wouldn't even let us know what an appointment they'd scheduled was about.
  • They wouldn't even respond to the relevant NHS PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service) when we asked for their help.
• We finally got offered some voice training assistance through the NHS, but they completely wasted our time and broke us more.
  • Over 3 separate hour-long assessments, including one with their lead speech and language therapist, they decided that they couldn't help us voice train, that the problems we were having were all in our head, and tried to fob us off to a psychologist to overcome our perceived issues!!!
  • When we asked them to support an Individual Funding Request (IFR) for Voice Feminisation Surgery (VFS), they not only refused, but the reasons given were a mixture of misrepresentations and outright untruths.
  • Despite saying that they couldn't help us, their refusal to support an IFR advised that we could always come back to them in 6 months to try again 😑
• We finally progressed enough through the NHS "care pathway" to discuss options for genital reconfiguration surgery (GRS), but -- as we've written in detail here, it went very, very poorly.
  • Had to do 2 very difficult emails to try to work out next steps, if any, to go with our backup option, but it's looking increasing like we're not going to be even able to get that from the NHS, and we cannot afford to get it done privately.
• Trans+ rights and access to healthcare are continuing to be rolled back and further limited, piece by piece, with no hope of that changing in the near future... or even at all.
• Oh, and the senior partner at our NHS GP surgery -- whom we very much trust and who actually cares -- is semi-retiring this year, and they were kind of our last lifeline in the NHS for wading through most of the shit 🙃

NGL: if we didn't have responsibilities and obligations to wife, cattens, and friends, as well as certain others in the community, we'd be seriously planning a homebrew version of Dignitas-level stuff right now.

It no longer feels like we're just treading water.

It feels like we're caught in rapids, desperately clinging to any rocks we can along the way, trying not to drown as the water increasingly fills our lungs.

But it doesn't matter how exhausted we are, how much it hurts, or how much everything sucks: we don't have the freedom to let go.

So instead we're doing everything within our limited power, resources, and capabilities to keep on swimming, staying conscious as we drown, and learn somehow to breath underwater.

If you've read this far, apologies for all of this. We could have said nothing, but we needed to be honest about how bad everything is.

And if per chance some of you are more-technically-savvy, and know what we mean by TOR and Dread, and could perhaps privately offer to share some info over Signal or Matrix regarding backup "supplies" for the ADHD stuff, we'd be much obliged. (We've got the GAHT stuff covered at least, as well as certain other meds. Just struggling with the ADHD stuff, particularly guanfacine / Intuniv.)

#MentalHealth #anxiety #depression #MoodDysregulation #MoodInstability #neurodivergent #neurodivergence #neurospicy #neurospiciness #AuDHD #AuDHDBurnout #burnout #CarerBurnout #NHS #NHSEngland #trans #transgender #NonBinary #enby #TransRightsAreHumanRights #TransRights #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #FuckTheUK #HereBeDragons

We are so very, very tired of everything going wrong 🥺😔

We've had issues ongoing for years, but everything just keeps getting worse and it feels like every week brings a whole new opportunity for things to go wrong.

Here are just a few of the highlights of the last year and a bit:

• Mental health worsened, entering full AuDHD burnout, with increasing anxiety and mood instability.
• We got made redundant from a job we were clinging on to.
  • It also took us about 6 months to finally get any benefits, so we ate through our entire redundancy payment, final salary payment, and some savings.
• Wife broke her ankle very badly, requiring an awful stay in hospital.
  • When she got out, 17 days later, we became her primary carer.
  • We had already been increasingly looking after her, as her health issues had worsened over years, but this dialled it up to 11.
  • We entered carer burnout, on top of the AuDHD one.
  • Even after her ankle fully healed and she'd done months of physicaly therapy, our wife's health and mobility declined due to issues unrelated to the ankle, which has further increased her reliance on us for care, and the NHS is going at a snail's pace.
  • She's pretty much in constant pain, struggling massively, and there's very little we can do to help, despite her being so grateful to us 😔
• We started ADHD meds, and eventually started to feel like we were getting somewhere with a combo of meds, only for them to email us today with a suggested backwards change they want to make that will fuck us over royally, and gave us a mild panic attack.
  • We had to contact them immediately to request an urgent call to discuss, but we now feel like the rug's been pulled out from under us.
• We tried to get actual mental health support through the NHS as far back as May, but due to incompetence, poor administration, and an unwillingness to meet basic accommodations, it's still not happened and is unlikely to happen.
• Our already fractured relationship with our assigned gender clinic broke down to the point where they no longer respond to us.
  • They wouldn't even let us know what an appointment they'd scheduled was about.
  • They wouldn't even respond to the relevant NHS PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service) when we asked for their help.
• We finally got offered some voice training assistance through the NHS, but they completely wasted our time and broke us more.
  • Over 3 separate hour-long assessments, including one with their lead speech and language therapist, they decided that they couldn't help us voice train, that the problems we were having were all in our head, and tried to fob us off to a psychologist to overcome our perceived issues!!!
  • When we asked them to support an Individual Funding Request (IFR) for Voice Feminisation Surgery (VFS), they not only refused, but the reasons given were a mixture of misrepresentations and outright untruths.
  • Despite saying that they couldn't help us, their refusal to support an IFR advised that we could always come back to them in 6 months to try again 😑
• We finally progressed enough through the NHS "care pathway" to discuss options for genital reconfiguration surgery (GRS), but -- as we've written in detail here, it went very, very poorly.
  • Had to do 2 very difficult emails to try to work out next steps, if any, to go with our backup option, but it's looking increasing like we're not going to be even able to get that from the NHS, and we cannot afford to get it done privately.
• Trans+ rights and access to healthcare are continuing to be rolled back and further limited, piece by piece, with no hope of that changing in the near future... or even at all.
• Oh, and the senior partner at our NHS GP surgery -- whom we very much trust and who actually cares -- is semi-retiring this year, and they were kind of our last lifeline in the NHS for wading through most of the shit 🙃

NGL: if we didn't have responsibilities and obligations to wife, cattens, and friends, as well as certain others in the community, we'd be seriously planning a homebrew version of Dignitas-level stuff right now.

It no longer feels like we're just treading water.

It feels like we're caught in rapids, desperately clinging to any rocks we can along the way, trying not to drown as the water increasingly fills our lungs.

But it doesn't matter how exhausted we are, how much it hurts, or how much everything sucks: we don't have the freedom to let go.

So instead we're doing everything within our limited power, resources, and capabilities to keep on swimming, staying conscious as we drown, and learn somehow to breath underwater.

If you've read this far, apologies for all of this. We could have said nothing, but we needed to be honest about how bad everything is.

And if per chance some of you are more-technically-savvy, and know what we mean by TOR and Dread, and could perhaps privately offer to share some info over Signal or Matrix regarding backup "supplies" for the ADHD stuff, we'd be much obliged. (We've got the GAHT stuff covered at least, as well as certain other meds. Just struggling with the ADHD stuff, particularly guanfacine / Intuniv.)

#MentalHealth #anxiety #depression #MoodDysregulation #MoodInstability #neurodivergent #neurodivergence #neurospicy #neurospiciness #AuDHD #AuDHDBurnout #burnout #CarerBurnout #NHS #NHSEngland #trans #transgender #NonBinary #enby #TransRightsAreHumanRights #TransRights #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #FuckTheUK #HereBeDragons

We are so very, very tired of everything going wrong 🥺😔

We've had issues ongoing for years, but everything just keeps getting worse and it feels like every week brings a whole new opportunity for things to go wrong.

Here are just a few of the highlights of the last year and a bit:

• Mental health worsened, entering full AuDHD burnout, with increasing anxiety and mood instability.
• We got made redundant from a job we were clinging on to.
  • It also took us about 6 months to finally get any benefits, so we ate through our entire redundancy payment, final salary payment, and some savings.
• Wife broke her ankle very badly, requiring an awful stay in hospital.
  • When she got out, 17 days later, we became her primary carer.
  • We had already been increasingly looking after her, as her health issues had worsened over years, but this dialled it up to 11.
  • We entered carer burnout, on top of the AuDHD one.
  • Even after her ankle fully healed and she'd done months of physicaly therapy, our wife's health and mobility declined due to issues unrelated to the ankle, which has further increased her reliance on us for care, and the NHS is going at a snail's pace.
  • She's pretty much in constant pain, struggling massively, and there's very little we can do to help, despite her being so grateful to us 😔
• We started ADHD meds, and eventually started to feel like we were getting somewhere with a combo of meds, only for them to email us today with a suggested backwards change they want to make that will fuck us over royally, and gave us a mild panic attack.
  • We had to contact them immediately to request an urgent call to discuss, but we now feel like the rug's been pulled out from under us.
• We tried to get actual mental health support through the NHS as far back as May, but due to incompetence, poor administration, and an unwillingness to meet basic accommodations, it's still not happened and is unlikely to happen.
• Our already fractured relationship with our assigned gender clinic broke down to the point where they no longer respond to us.
  • They wouldn't even let us know what an appointment they'd scheduled was about.
  • They wouldn't even respond to the relevant NHS PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service) when we asked for their help.
• We finally got offered some voice training assistance through the NHS, but they completely wasted our time and broke us more.
  • Over 3 separate hour-long assessments, including one with their lead speech and language therapist, they decided that they couldn't help us voice train, that the problems we were having were all in our head, and tried to fob us off to a psychologist to overcome our perceived issues!!!
  • When we asked them to support an Individual Funding Request (IFR) for Voice Feminisation Surgery (VFS), they not only refused, but the reasons given were a mixture of misrepresentations and outright untruths.
  • Despite saying that they couldn't help us, their refusal to support an IFR advised that we could always come back to them in 6 months to try again 😑
• We finally progressed enough through the NHS "care pathway" to discuss options for genital reconfiguration surgery (GRS), but -- as we've written in detail here, it went very, very poorly.
  • Had to do 2 very difficult emails to try to work out next steps, if any, to go with our backup option, but it's looking increasing like we're not going to be even able to get that from the NHS, and we cannot afford to get it done privately.
• Trans+ rights and access to healthcare are continuing to be rolled back and further limited, piece by piece, with no hope of that changing in the near future... or even at all.
• Oh, and the senior partner at our NHS GP surgery -- whom we very much trust and who actually cares -- is semi-retiring this year, and they were kind of our last lifeline in the NHS for wading through most of the shit 🙃

NGL: if we didn't have responsibilities and obligations to wife, cattens, and friends, as well as certain others in the community, we'd be seriously planning a homebrew version of Dignitas-level stuff right now.

It no longer feels like we're just treading water.

It feels like we're caught in rapids, desperately clinging to any rocks we can along the way, trying not to drown as the water increasingly fills our lungs.

But it doesn't matter how exhausted we are, how much it hurts, or how much everything sucks: we don't have the freedom to let go.

So instead we're doing everything within our limited power, resources, and capabilities to keep on swimming, staying conscious as we drown, and learn somehow to breath underwater.

If you've read this far, apologies for all of this. We could have said nothing, but we needed to be honest about how bad everything is.

And if per chance some of you are more-technically-savvy, and know what we mean by TOR and Dread, and could perhaps privately offer to share some info over Signal or Matrix regarding backup "supplies" for the ADHD stuff, we'd be much obliged. (We've got the GAHT stuff covered at least, as well as certain other meds. Just struggling with the ADHD stuff, particularly guanfacine / Intuniv.)

#MentalHealth #anxiety #depression #MoodDysregulation #MoodInstability #neurodivergent #neurodivergence #neurospicy #neurospiciness #AuDHD #AuDHDBurnout #burnout #CarerBurnout #NHS #NHSEngland #trans #transgender #NonBinary #enby #TransRightsAreHumanRights #TransRights #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #FuckTheUK #HereBeDragons

We are so very, very tired of everything going wrong 🥺😔

We've had issues ongoing for years, but everything just keeps getting worse and it feels like every week brings a whole new opportunity for things to go wrong.

Here are just a few of the highlights of the last year and a bit:

• Mental health worsened, entering full AuDHD burnout, with increasing anxiety and mood instability.
• We got made redundant from a job we were clinging on to.
  • It also took us about 6 months to finally get any benefits, so we ate through our entire redundancy payment, final salary payment, and some savings.
• Wife broke her ankle very badly, requiring an awful stay in hospital.
  • When she got out, 17 days later, we became her primary carer.
  • We had already been increasingly looking after her, as her health issues had worsened over years, but this dialled it up to 11.
  • We entered carer burnout, on top of the AuDHD one.
  • Even after her ankle fully healed and she'd done months of physicaly therapy, our wife's health and mobility declined due to issues unrelated to the ankle, which has further increased her reliance on us for care, and the NHS is going at a snail's pace.
  • She's pretty much in constant pain, struggling massively, and there's very little we can do to help, despite her being so grateful to us 😔
• We started ADHD meds, and eventually started to feel like we were getting somewhere with a combo of meds, only for them to email us today with a suggested backwards change they want to make that will fuck us over royally, and gave us a mild panic attack.
  • We had to contact them immediately to request an urgent call to discuss, but we now feel like the rug's been pulled out from under us.
• We tried to get actual mental health support through the NHS as far back as May, but due to incompetence, poor administration, and an unwillingness to meet basic accommodations, it's still not happened and is unlikely to happen.
• Our already fractured relationship with our assigned gender clinic broke down to the point where they no longer respond to us.
  • They wouldn't even let us know what an appointment they'd scheduled was about.
  • They wouldn't even respond to the relevant NHS PALS (Patient Advice and Liaison Service) when we asked for their help.
• We finally got offered some voice training assistance through the NHS, but they completely wasted our time and broke us more.
  • Over 3 separate hour-long assessments, including one with their lead speech and language therapist, they decided that they couldn't help us voice train, that the problems we were having were all in our head, and tried to fob us off to a psychologist to overcome our perceived issues!!!
  • When we asked them to support an Individual Funding Request (IFR) for Voice Feminisation Surgery (VFS), they not only refused, but the reasons given were a mixture of misrepresentations and outright untruths.
  • Despite saying that they couldn't help us, their refusal to support an IFR advised that we could always come back to them in 6 months to try again 😑
• We finally progressed enough through the NHS "care pathway" to discuss options for genital reconfiguration surgery (GRS), but -- as we've written in detail here, it went very, very poorly.
  • Had to do 2 very difficult emails to try to work out next steps, if any, to go with our backup option, but it's looking increasing like we're not going to be even able to get that from the NHS, and we cannot afford to get it done privately.
• Trans+ rights and access to healthcare are continuing to be rolled back and further limited, piece by piece, with no hope of that changing in the near future... or even at all.
• Oh, and the senior partner at our NHS GP surgery -- whom we very much trust and who actually cares -- is semi-retiring this year, and they were kind of our last lifeline in the NHS for wading through most of the shit 🙃

NGL: if we didn't have responsibilities and obligations to wife, cattens, and friends, as well as certain others in the community, we'd be seriously planning a homebrew version of Dignitas-level stuff right now.

It no longer feels like we're just treading water.

It feels like we're caught in rapids, desperately clinging to any rocks we can along the way, trying not to drown as the water increasingly fills our lungs.

But it doesn't matter how exhausted we are, how much it hurts, or how much everything sucks: we don't have the freedom to let go.

So instead we're doing everything within our limited power, resources, and capabilities to keep on swimming, staying conscious as we drown, and learn somehow to breath underwater.

If you've read this far, apologies for all of this. We could have said nothing, but we needed to be honest about how bad everything is.

And if per chance some of you are more-technically-savvy, and know what we mean by TOR and Dread, and could perhaps privately offer to share some info over Signal or Matrix regarding backup "supplies" for the ADHD stuff, we'd be much obliged. (We've got the GAHT stuff covered at least, as well as certain other meds. Just struggling with the ADHD stuff, particularly guanfacine / Intuniv.)

#MentalHealth #anxiety #depression #MoodDysregulation #MoodInstability #neurodivergent #neurodivergence #neurospicy #neurospiciness #AuDHD #AuDHDBurnout #burnout #CarerBurnout #NHS #NHSEngland #trans #transgender #NonBinary #enby #TransRightsAreHumanRights #TransRights #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #FuckTheUK #HereBeDragons

Hey folks

Been trying and failing to write this post for a few days now.

Mood, health, energy, time, chores, obligations, and responsibilities kept getting in the way.

So, we're gonna summarise everything as much as we can, and try and limit our emotional response to it.

Important context

• We have been trying to get meaningful gender-affirming healthcare through the NHS since April 2021.
• We had tried to get clear information on surgery options, particularly genital reconfiguration surgery (GRS) options, for years, but never got clear options: only vague wording.
• We were almost certain sure that no form of penile-preserving vaginoplasty would be available, so we narrowed our choices to peritoneal pull-through (PPT) vaginoplasty or a bilateral orchidectomy.
  • We didn't and don't want penile inversion vaginoplasty (PIV) or vulvoplasty (aka zero-depth vaginoplasty).
• We finally passed all hurdles through an NHS pilot scheme (East Of England Gender Service; EOEGS) in late 2024.
  • This is under the Nottingham Centre for Transgender Health (NCTH).
• Our surgery referral was only sent over to a private hospital by the NHS Gender Dysphoria National Referral Support Service (GDNRSS) in late 2025.
• We had an initial assessment meeting with that private hospital this week.

Information from meeting

• The NHS will not fund PPT vaginoplasty unless there's medically no other option (i.e., last resort).
  • Basically only if you've got "inadequate donor site skin" for other methods.
• Despite offering PPT privately, the hospital considers PIV the "gold standard", and was heavily biased against PPT, advising that PPT:
  • "is not self-lubricating";
  • has "more granulation tissue" and "more complications associated with it";
  • typically has a "worse surgical outcome";
  • "turns into skin" in the long run;
  • is more likely to "stenose" and "scar".
• No form of penile-preserving vaginoplasty is available (as we thought).
• The NHS will not fund the hospital to do standalone bilateral orchidectomies for any referrals sent to them via GDNRSS.
• The specific (and only surgeon) we had asked to be referred to did not pick up our referral.
  • Worse, a surgeon we absolutely do not want to go anywhere near picked up our case!!!
• We discovered that NHS gender clinics sit in on their Multi-Disciplinary Team (MDT) meetings to discuss patients' surgery requests!!!

Outcomes for us

After considering options and offers, we resignedly sent an email to the private hospital, requesting that they refer us back to GDNRSS, advising that:

• The GRS options were explained to us, but we did not find them suitable.
• The surgeon who offered to take our case was not suitable.
• We wish to discuss next steps with the GDNRSS.

Sadly, an individual funding request (IFR) will almost-certainly be required, but the gender clinic has previously refused to submit any IFRs for us, so we're kinda very likely to be screwed here.

For anybody not aware, IFRs get submitted to your local integrated care board / system (ICB/ICS) in England. They'll only agree to fund something if:

• There are "exceptional clinical circumstances" to support the request.
• The IFR clearly demonstrates "clinical exceptionality".

Although technically an NHS GP can submit an IFR, unless it comes from the NHS gender clinic with a detailed explanation of why they can't / won't fund the surgery and why it's necessary, the local ICB funding team will just reject the request.

This is sadly a major issue for us, as we've raised multiple complaints against our gender clinic for their awful service (or rather lack thereof) and they've stopped responding to any of our emails now, so there's little to no chance of them even agreeing to submit an IFR for us, let alone doing one with a decent chance of being accepted.

We don't know what the current price is for a bilateral orchidectomy, but it was up to about £6k a year or two back, so it's probably more like £7K to £8K now :Sighing_Face:

In other words, nothing we could afford privately any time in the next decade.

So... yeah 🙃

If you wondered why our posts have been a little bit more bleak the last few days, this is among the reasons 😅 (There are sadly many other things contributing too.)

It's our own fault really for even trying to go through the NHS route and thinking that maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't continually fuck us around.

Anyway, that's the toot.

#NHS #NHSEngland #EOEGS #NCTH #trans #transgender #NonBinary #enby #FemEnby #GRS #GAS #vaginoplasty #orchidectomy #GenderAffirmingHealthcare #IFR #ICB #ICS #FuckTheNHS #FuckTheUK #DesegregateTransHealthcare #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+

Hey folks

Been trying and failing to write this post for a few days now.

Mood, health, energy, time, chores, obligations, and responsibilities kept getting in the way.

So, we're gonna summarise everything as much as we can, and try and limit our emotional response to it.

Important context

• We have been trying to get meaningful gender-affirming healthcare through the NHS since April 2021.
• We had tried to get clear information on surgery options, particularly genital reconfiguration surgery (GRS) options, for years, but never got clear options: only vague wording.
• We were almost certain sure that no form of penile-preserving vaginoplasty would be available, so we narrowed our choices to peritoneal pull-through (PPT) vaginoplasty or a bilateral orchidectomy.
  • We didn't and don't want penile inversion vaginoplasty (PIV) or vulvoplasty (aka zero-depth vaginoplasty).
• We finally passed all hurdles through an NHS pilot scheme (East Of England Gender Service; EOEGS) in late 2024.
  • This is under the Nottingham Centre for Transgender Health (NCTH).
• Our surgery referral was only sent over to a private hospital by the NHS Gender Dysphoria National Referral Support Service (GDNRSS) in late 2025.
• We had an initial assessment meeting with that private hospital this week.

Information from meeting

• The NHS will not fund PPT vaginoplasty unless there's medically no other option (i.e., last resort).
  • Basically only if you've got "inadequate donor site skin" for other methods.
• Despite offering PPT privately, the hospital considers PIV the "gold standard", and was heavily biased against PPT, advising that PPT:
  • "is not self-lubricating";
  • has "more granulation tissue" and "more complications associated with it";
  • typically has a "worse surgical outcome";
  • "turns into skin" in the long run;
  • is more likely to "stenose" and "scar".
• No form of penile-preserving vaginoplasty is available (as we thought).
• The NHS will not fund the hospital to do standalone bilateral orchidectomies for any referrals sent to them via GDNRSS.
• The specific (and only surgeon) we had asked to be referred to did not pick up our referral.
  • Worse, a surgeon we absolutely do not want to go anywhere near picked up our case!!!
• We discovered that NHS gender clinics sit in on their Multi-Disciplinary Team (MDT) meetings to discuss patients' surgery requests!!!

Outcomes for us

After considering options and offers, we resignedly sent an email to the private hospital, requesting that they refer us back to GDNRSS, advising that:

• The GRS options were explained to us, but we did not find them suitable.
• The surgeon who offered to take our case was not suitable.
• We wish to discuss next steps with the GDNRSS.

Sadly, an individual funding request (IFR) will almost-certainly be required, but the gender clinic has previously refused to submit any IFRs for us, so we're kinda very likely to be screwed here.

For anybody not aware, IFRs get submitted to your local integrated care board / system (ICB/ICS) in England. They'll only agree to fund something if:

• There are "exceptional clinical circumstances" to support the request.
• The IFR clearly demonstrates "clinical exceptionality".

Although technically an NHS GP can submit an IFR, unless it comes from the NHS gender clinic with a detailed explanation of why they can't / won't fund the surgery and why it's necessary, the local ICB funding team will just reject the request.

This is sadly a major issue for us, as we've raised multiple complaints against our gender clinic for their awful service (or rather lack thereof) and they've stopped responding to any of our emails now, so there's little to no chance of them even agreeing to submit an IFR for us, let alone doing one with a decent chance of being accepted.

We don't know what the current price is for a bilateral orchidectomy, but it was up to about £6k a year or two back, so it's probably more like £7K to £8K now :Sighing_Face:

In other words, nothing we could afford privately any time in the next decade.

So... yeah 🙃

If you wondered why our posts have been a little bit more bleak the last few days, this is among the reasons 😅 (There are sadly many other things contributing too.)

It's our own fault really for even trying to go through the NHS route and thinking that maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't continually fuck us around.

Anyway, that's the toot.

#NHS #NHSEngland #EOEGS #NCTH #trans #transgender #NonBinary #enby #FemEnby #GRS #GAS #vaginoplasty #orchidectomy #GenderAffirmingHealthcare #IFR #ICB #ICS #FuckTheNHS #FuckTheUK #DesegregateTransHealthcare #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+

Hey folks

Been trying and failing to write this post for a few days now.

Mood, health, energy, time, chores, obligations, and responsibilities kept getting in the way.

So, we're gonna summarise everything as much as we can, and try and limit our emotional response to it.

Important context

• We have been trying to get meaningful gender-affirming healthcare through the NHS since April 2021.
• We had tried to get clear information on surgery options, particularly genital reconfiguration surgery (GRS) options, for years, but never got clear options: only vague wording.
• We were almost certain sure that no form of penile-preserving vaginoplasty would be available, so we narrowed our choices to peritoneal pull-through (PPT) vaginoplasty or a bilateral orchidectomy.
  • We didn't and don't want penile inversion vaginoplasty (PIV) or vulvoplasty (aka zero-depth vaginoplasty).
• We finally passed all hurdles through an NHS pilot scheme (East Of England Gender Service; EOEGS) in late 2024.
  • This is under the Nottingham Centre for Transgender Health (NCTH).
• Our surgery referral was only sent over to a private hospital by the NHS Gender Dysphoria National Referral Support Service (GDNRSS) in late 2025.
• We had an initial assessment meeting with that private hospital this week.

Information from meeting

• The NHS will not fund PPT vaginoplasty unless there's medically no other option (i.e., last resort).
  • Basically only if you've got "inadequate donor site skin" for other methods.
• Despite offering PPT privately, the hospital considers PIV the "gold standard", and was heavily biased against PPT, advising that PPT:
  • "is not self-lubricating";
  • has "more granulation tissue" and "more complications associated with it";
  • typically has a "worse surgical outcome";
  • "turns into skin" in the long run;
  • is more likely to "stenose" and "scar".
• No form of penile-preserving vaginoplasty is available (as we thought).
• The NHS will not fund the hospital to do standalone bilateral orchidectomies for any referrals sent to them via GDNRSS.
• The specific (and only surgeon) we had asked to be referred to did not pick up our referral.
  • Worse, a surgeon we absolutely do not want to go anywhere near picked up our case!!!
• We discovered that NHS gender clinics sit in on their Multi-Disciplinary Team (MDT) meetings to discuss patients' surgery requests!!!

Outcomes for us

After considering options and offers, we resignedly sent an email to the private hospital, requesting that they refer us back to GDNRSS, advising that:

• The GRS options were explained to us, but we did not find them suitable.
• The surgeon who offered to take our case was not suitable.
• We wish to discuss next steps with the GDNRSS.

Sadly, an individual funding request (IFR) will almost-certainly be required, but the gender clinic has previously refused to submit any IFRs for us, so we're kinda very likely to be screwed here.

For anybody not aware, IFRs get submitted to your local integrated care board / system (ICB/ICS) in England. They'll only agree to fund something if:

• There are "exceptional clinical circumstances" to support the request.
• The IFR clearly demonstrates "clinical exceptionality".

Although technically an NHS GP can submit an IFR, unless it comes from the NHS gender clinic with a detailed explanation of why they can't / won't fund the surgery and why it's necessary, the local ICB funding team will just reject the request.

This is sadly a major issue for us, as we've raised multiple complaints against our gender clinic for their awful service (or rather lack thereof) and they've stopped responding to any of our emails now, so there's little to no chance of them even agreeing to submit an IFR for us, let alone doing one with a decent chance of being accepted.

We don't know what the current price is for a bilateral orchidectomy, but it was up to about £6k a year or two back, so it's probably more like £7K to £8K now :Sighing_Face:

In other words, nothing we could afford privately any time in the next decade.

So... yeah 🙃

If you wondered why our posts have been a little bit more bleak the last few days, this is among the reasons 😅 (There are sadly many other things contributing too.)

It's our own fault really for even trying to go through the NHS route and thinking that maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't continually fuck us around.

Anyway, that's the toot.

#NHS #NHSEngland #EOEGS #NCTH #trans #transgender #NonBinary #enby #FemEnby #GRS #GAS #vaginoplasty #orchidectomy #GenderAffirmingHealthcare #IFR #ICB #ICS #FuckTheNHS #FuckTheUK #DesegregateTransHealthcare #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+

Hey folks

Been trying and failing to write this post for a few days now.

Mood, health, energy, time, chores, obligations, and responsibilities kept getting in the way.

So, we're gonna summarise everything as much as we can, and try and limit our emotional response to it.

Important context

• We have been trying to get meaningful gender-affirming healthcare through the NHS since April 2021.
• We had tried to get clear information on surgery options, particularly genital reconfiguration surgery (GRS) options, for years, but never got clear options: only vague wording.
• We were almost certain sure that no form of penile-preserving vaginoplasty would be available, so we narrowed our choices to peritoneal pull-through (PPT) vaginoplasty or a bilateral orchidectomy.
  • We didn't and don't want penile inversion vaginoplasty (PIV) or vulvoplasty (aka zero-depth vaginoplasty).
• We finally passed all hurdles through an NHS pilot scheme (East Of England Gender Service; EOEGS) in late 2024.
  • This is under the Nottingham Centre for Transgender Health (NCTH).
• Our surgery referral was only sent over to a private hospital by the NHS Gender Dysphoria National Referral Support Service (GDNRSS) in late 2025.
• We had an initial assessment meeting with that private hospital this week.

Information from meeting

• The NHS will not fund PPT vaginoplasty unless there's medically no other option (i.e., last resort).
  • Basically only if you've got "inadequate donor site skin" for other methods.
• Despite offering PPT privately, the hospital considers PIV the "gold standard", and was heavily biased against PPT, advising that PPT:
  • "is not self-lubricating";
  • has "more granulation tissue" and "more complications associated with it";
  • typically has a "worse surgical outcome";
  • "turns into skin" in the long run;
  • is more likely to "stenose" and "scar".
• No form of penile-preserving vaginoplasty is available (as we thought).
• The NHS will not fund the hospital to do standalone bilateral orchidectomies for any referrals sent to them via GDNRSS.
• The specific (and only surgeon) we had asked to be referred to did not pick up our referral.
  • Worse, a surgeon we absolutely do not want to go anywhere near picked up our case!!!
• We discovered that NHS gender clinics sit in on their Multi-Disciplinary Team (MDT) meetings to discuss patients' surgery requests!!!

Outcomes for us

After considering options and offers, we resignedly sent an email to the private hospital, requesting that they refer us back to GDNRSS, advising that:

• The GRS options were explained to us, but we did not find them suitable.
• The surgeon who offered to take our case was not suitable.
• We wish to discuss next steps with the GDNRSS.

Sadly, an individual funding request (IFR) will almost-certainly be required, but the gender clinic has previously refused to submit any IFRs for us, so we're kinda very likely to be screwed here.

For anybody not aware, IFRs get submitted to your local integrated care board / system (ICB/ICS) in England. They'll only agree to fund something if:

• There are "exceptional clinical circumstances" to support the request.
• The IFR clearly demonstrates "clinical exceptionality".

Although technically an NHS GP can submit an IFR, unless it comes from the NHS gender clinic with a detailed explanation of why they can't / won't fund the surgery and why it's necessary, the local ICB funding team will just reject the request.

This is sadly a major issue for us, as we've raised multiple complaints against our gender clinic for their awful service (or rather lack thereof) and they've stopped responding to any of our emails now, so there's little to no chance of them even agreeing to submit an IFR for us, let alone doing one with a decent chance of being accepted.

We don't know what the current price is for a bilateral orchidectomy, but it was up to about £6k a year or two back, so it's probably more like £7K to £8K now :Sighing_Face:

In other words, nothing we could afford privately any time in the next decade.

So... yeah 🙃

If you wondered why our posts have been a little bit more bleak the last few days, this is among the reasons 😅 (There are sadly many other things contributing too.)

It's our own fault really for even trying to go through the NHS route and thinking that maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't continually fuck us around.

Anyway, that's the toot.

#NHS #NHSEngland #EOEGS #NCTH #trans #transgender #NonBinary #enby #FemEnby #GRS #GAS #vaginoplasty #orchidectomy #GenderAffirmingHealthcare #IFR #ICB #ICS #FuckTheNHS #FuckTheUK #DesegregateTransHealthcare #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+

Hey folks

Been trying and failing to write this post for a few days now.

Mood, health, energy, time, chores, obligations, and responsibilities kept getting in the way.

So, we're gonna summarise everything as much as we can, and try and limit our emotional response to it.

Important context

• We have been trying to get meaningful gender-affirming healthcare through the NHS since April 2021.
• We had tried to get clear information on surgery options, particularly genital reconfiguration surgery (GRS) options, for years, but never got clear options: only vague wording.
• We were almost certain sure that no form of penile-preserving vaginoplasty would be available, so we narrowed our choices to peritoneal pull-through (PPT) vaginoplasty or a bilateral orchidectomy.
  • We didn't and don't want penile inversion vaginoplasty (PIV) or vulvoplasty (aka zero-depth vaginoplasty).
• We finally passed all hurdles through an NHS pilot scheme (East Of England Gender Service; EOEGS) in late 2024.
  • This is under the Nottingham Centre for Transgender Health (NCTH).
• Our surgery referral was only sent over to a private hospital by the NHS Gender Dysphoria National Referral Support Service (GDNRSS) in late 2025.
• We had an initial assessment meeting with that private hospital this week.

Information from meeting

• The NHS will not fund PPT vaginoplasty unless there's medically no other option (i.e., last resort).
  • Basically only if you've got "inadequate donor site skin" for other methods.
• Despite offering PPT privately, the hospital considers PIV the "gold standard", and was heavily biased against PPT, advising that PPT:
  • "is not self-lubricating";
  • has "more granulation tissue" and "more complications associated with it";
  • typically has a "worse surgical outcome";
  • "turns into skin" in the long run;
  • is more likely to "stenose" and "scar".
• No form of penile-preserving vaginoplasty is available (as we thought).
• The NHS will not fund the hospital to do standalone bilateral orchidectomies for any referrals sent to them via GDNRSS.
• The specific (and only surgeon) we had asked to be referred to did not pick up our referral.
  • Worse, a surgeon we absolutely do not want to go anywhere near picked up our case!!!
• We discovered that NHS gender clinics sit in on their Multi-Disciplinary Team (MDT) meetings to discuss patients' surgery requests!!!

Outcomes for us

After considering options and offers, we resignedly sent an email to the private hospital, requesting that they refer us back to GDNRSS, advising that:

• The GRS options were explained to us, but we did not find them suitable.
• The surgeon who offered to take our case was not suitable.
• We wish to discuss next steps with the GDNRSS.

Sadly, an individual funding request (IFR) will almost-certainly be required, but the gender clinic has previously refused to submit any IFRs for us, so we're kinda very likely to be screwed here.

For anybody not aware, IFRs get submitted to your local integrated care board / system (ICB/ICS) in England. They'll only agree to fund something if:

• There are "exceptional clinical circumstances" to support the request.
• The IFR clearly demonstrates "clinical exceptionality".

Although technically an NHS GP can submit an IFR, unless it comes from the NHS gender clinic with a detailed explanation of why they can't / won't fund the surgery and why it's necessary, the local ICB funding team will just reject the request.

This is sadly a major issue for us, as we've raised multiple complaints against our gender clinic for their awful service (or rather lack thereof) and they've stopped responding to any of our emails now, so there's little to no chance of them even agreeing to submit an IFR for us, let alone doing one with a decent chance of being accepted.

We don't know what the current price is for a bilateral orchidectomy, but it was up to about £6k a year or two back, so it's probably more like £7K to £8K now :Sighing_Face:

In other words, nothing we could afford privately any time in the next decade.

So... yeah 🙃

If you wondered why our posts have been a little bit more bleak the last few days, this is among the reasons 😅 (There are sadly many other things contributing too.)

It's our own fault really for even trying to go through the NHS route and thinking that maybe, just maybe, they wouldn't continually fuck us around.

Anyway, that's the toot.

#NHS #NHSEngland #EOEGS #NCTH #trans #transgender #NonBinary #enby #FemEnby #GRS #GAS #vaginoplasty #orchidectomy #GenderAffirmingHealthcare #IFR #ICB #ICS #FuckTheNHS #FuckTheUK #DesegregateTransHealthcare #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+

DM: "That ends the NHS's turn. Okay. Evie, you're next."

Evie: "Right. Well, first, I would like to rage...."

DM: "But... you're not a barbarian...?"

Evie: "No, I just mean scream into the void in pure rage and frustration at the NHS."

DM: "Okay... erm... roll for... performance...?"

Evie: "Natural 20, but -2. 18."

DM: "Okay. Go ahead."

Evie: inhales deeply "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

DM: "You feel the growing irritation and akwardness of the NHS, leading to the call being terminated. But you take... 10 points of psychic damage in recoil and are now prone. It also automatically ends your turn."

#NHS #NHSEngland #NCTH #EOEGS #GenderAffirmHealthcare #FuckTheUK

DM: "That ends the NHS's turn. Okay. Evie, you're next."

Evie: "Right. Well, first, I would like to rage...."

DM: "But... you're not a barbarian...?"

Evie: "No, I just mean scream into the void in pure rage and frustration at the NHS."

DM: "Okay... erm... roll for... performance...?"

Evie: "Natural 20, but -2. 18."

DM: "Okay. Go ahead."

Evie: inhales deeply "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

DM: "You feel the growing irritation and akwardness of the NHS, leading to the call being terminated. But you take... 10 points of psychic damage in recoil and are now prone. It also automatically ends your turn."

#NHS #NHSEngland #NCTH #EOEGS #GenderAffirmHealthcare #FuckTheUK

DM: "That ends the NHS's turn. Okay. Evie, you're next."

Evie: "Right. Well, first, I would like to rage...."

DM: "But... you're not a barbarian...?"

Evie: "No, I just mean scream into the void in pure rage and frustration at the NHS."

DM: "Okay... erm... roll for... performance...?"

Evie: "Natural 20, but -2. 18."

DM: "Okay. Go ahead."

Evie: inhales deeply "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

DM: "You feel the growing irritation and akwardness of the NHS, leading to the call being terminated. But you take... 10 points of psychic damage in recoil and are now prone. It also automatically ends your turn."

#NHS #NHSEngland #NCTH #EOEGS #GenderAffirmHealthcare #FuckTheUK

DM: "That ends the NHS's turn. Okay. Evie, you're next."

Evie: "Right. Well, first, I would like to rage...."

DM: "But... you're not a barbarian...?"

Evie: "No, I just mean scream into the void in pure rage and frustration at the NHS."

DM: "Okay... erm... roll for... performance...?"

Evie: "Natural 20, but -2. 18."

DM: "Okay. Go ahead."

Evie: inhales deeply "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

DM: "You feel the growing irritation and akwardness of the NHS, leading to the call being terminated. But you take... 10 points of psychic damage in recoil and are now prone. It also automatically ends your turn."

#NHS #NHSEngland #NCTH #EOEGS #GenderAffirmHealthcare #FuckTheUK

DM: "That ends the NHS's turn. Okay. Evie, you're next."

Evie: "Right. Well, first, I would like to rage...."

DM: "But... you're not a barbarian...?"

Evie: "No, I just mean scream into the void in pure rage and frustration at the NHS."

DM: "Okay... erm... roll for... performance...?"

Evie: "Natural 20, but -2. 18."

DM: "Okay. Go ahead."

Evie: inhales deeply "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!"

DM: "You feel the growing irritation and akwardness of the NHS, leading to the call being terminated. But you take... 10 points of psychic damage in recoil and are now prone. It also automatically ends your turn."

#NHS #NHSEngland #NCTH #EOEGS #GenderAffirmHealthcare #FuckTheUK

Way back sometime in the latter half of the 1980s, we watched Rupert and the Frog Song on VHS and heard We All Stand Together within it for the very first time.

We still remember how excited our dad was for us to hear the song for the very first time, and how much we enjoyed the music and lyrics 🎶

It wasn't until much later in life that we started to realise just how powerful and defiant some lyrics of the song verses were, whilst others were... noticeably less so.

The first verse begins as follows:

Win or lose, sink or swim
One thing is certain, we'll never give in
Side by side, hand in hand
We all stand together

We don't know what meaning(s) Paul McCartney intended with such lyrics, but to us this isn't just some song about friendship for kids: it's a call to stand, march, and support each other, no matter what happens.

Given Paul's working class background, it's perhaps no surprise that it feels inherently pro-social, pro-worker, and pro-union. It's positive, progressive, and powerful: exactly the kind of message that people need to inspire them to proect.

Given the strength of the first verse, it's perplexing to us how suddenly the tone shifts in the second, which begins:

Play the game, fight the fight

"Play the game" has multiple meanings, but it's likely about conforming to the rules of the establishment. In order to win the game, you have to:

• obey the rules;
• be on your best "sporting" behaviour; and
• not do anything controversial that might lead to a penalty for your side, particularly as that could cost you the entire game.

Beyond this, folks may even need to play the long-game, where you patiently plan, prepare, and outperform your opponents, particularly political ones, in order to achieve your goals.

The lyrics then call for the listener to "fight the fight". This seems likely to be the "good fight", which in the context of the times would likely be the ongoing battle for workers' rights against a government that considered unions and workers to be the enemy.

Okay. So maybe this is a bit grim for a young listener, but given all the obstacles stacked up against the working class, who were often treated like obstinate children themselves, it would make sense that the song encourages caution here. It was a different time. We can understand this, even if we don't fully agree.

What we don't understand is the apparent flippancy of the next line:

But what's the point on a beautiful night?

What the actual heck, song?!

Okay, okay, okay.

Maybe we're being too hard on the song here. Perhaps it's remarking that sometimes you need to take a break from the fight every once in a while for yourself to recharge, so you can keep fighting.

However, if this was the intended meaning, it's not been implemented well, in our opinion.

The phrasing "what's the point" makes it sound like the entire purpose of fighting is ultimately meaningless. That's not a positive message for kids: that's what you'd expect from the resignation speech of someone who's burnt themselves out fighting over decades to achieve their goals, only to begin to question why they were even fighting!

And yet, the verse then ends on:

Arm in arm, hand in hand
We all stand together

Maybe the song had a momentarily loss of hope, but then regained it, and is once again supporting the idea of unity, solidarity, and the strength of the group.

Alternatively, the song never actually recovered from the loss of hope, but is pushing on regardless, as we all need to support each other, even if we never achieve our end goals.

By going "arm in arm" and "hand in hand", it's both a show of group strength and an acknowledgement that everyone within the group needs some form of support from others around them.

...

Okay... so… why have we written all this, particularly right now?

There are lots of answers we could give, but for us it ultimately comes down to these points:

• This song is inherently one of hope, but it could be so much stronger with a little rewording.
• Times are bleak right now for millions of people and people need a little hope.

We've had ideas ourselves on how we might reword the lyrics, but we're not a song writer. Heck, we're not a good writer writer… as this awful sentence no doubt highlights.

Our ideas are full of anger, rage, and a feeling of inevitable, unavoidable despair for all the people we know we won't be able to help, support, or save 🥺😞

In a way, we're perhaps a bit like the second verse: we expect to keep fighting battles not because we expect to win any of them, but because we need to support those around us regardless.

We honestly want to ask how you would reword the song to strengthen it.

• What would you change?
• Why would you make those changes?

Right now, our anger would turn the second verse into:

Fuck their game! Time to fight!
Stop ceding ground to the bigoted right!
Arm in arm; hand in hand
We must stand together!

Not exactly the most-inspiring version it could be 😅🤦‍♀️

What would your version of "We All Stand Together" be?

#WeAllStandTogether #RupertAndTheFrogSong #PaulMcCartney #fascism #FuckTrump #FuckTheUK #MigrantRights #MigrantsRightsAreHumanRights #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights #trans #transgender #migrants #migration #GenuinelyAsking #politics #FirstTheyCame #WeAllGoTogetherWhereWeAllGoAlone #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+

So, just in case anyone doesn't already realise this about us, we're:

• highly-visibly trans fem, whilst also not being conventionally femme in many ways.
• usually obviously neurospicy AF, particularly with noise-cancelling headphones and sunglasses on.
• usually visibly anxious and worried, especially when using public transport of any kind.

We didn't attend any Pride events the year that we realised and accepted that were were trans (2021), as we were still in the very early stages of our transition, including coming out to some family members, some friends, and our workplace at the time, and hadn't made any connections with other trans+ folk yet.

SInce then, however, we've managed to push down the fears and attend at least London Trans+ Pride from 2022 to 2024. 2022 was still the best by far, but we still do feel a desire to go to the event, even if just to swell the numbers.

In previous years, despite all our anxieties and fears, we've managed to keep those managed and attend.

However, this year we are honestly torn, as whilst we really, really want to catch up and hang out with friends and others we know, and we believe that we'll feel safe within a large enough group, the issue of travelling there and back is honestly terrifying to us right now :PleadingFace:

We know we shouldn't and mustn't give in to fear, but honestly we cannot choose not to be afraid right now 😞 We live in a country:

• run by a transphobic and transmisic government, which listens only to anti-trans-rights voices.
• with a Supreme Court that decided to invalidate the legal identities of trans women and trans men, based on listening solely to those same anti-trans-rights voices.
• with an infiltrated and compromised Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) that has issued legally-flawed interim guidance to organisations to recommend denying trans+ people the right to use any public facilities if they so wish.
• with media that is almost-entirely transphobic and transmisic.
• where anti-trans hate speech and hate crimes are on the rise.

Attending events has never been easy for us. We get overstimulated and overwhelmed very easily. Even with meds, any events require weeks or even months of planning ahead of time. And even with the best of planning, we end up mentally and emotionally exhausted, even if we enjoyed the time spent with friends and others.

So yeah, we're conflicted AF right now, as we do NOT want to let the bigots win, but by the same token we don't want to get hurt, assaulted, or worse just for journeying whilst trans :Sighing_Face:

And it's not like we can avoid public transport to get into and around London 😞

Maybe we'll find some way, but as things stand right now, we can't see a world where we're going to feel safe or able to attend any events this year 😭

If you read this far into our vent, thank you :TransHeart: :NonBinaryHeart:

#trans #transgender #enby #NonBinary #TransFem #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights #Pride #Pride2025 #LondonTransPride2025 #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #AuDHD #neurodivergent #neurospicy #anxiety #NotSafeToBeMe #transphobia #transmisia #FuckTheUK #FuckTheUKSupremeCourt #FuckTheEHRC

So, just in case anyone doesn't already realise this about us, we're:

• highly-visibly trans fem, whilst also not being conventionally femme in many ways.
• usually obviously neurospicy AF, particularly with noise-cancelling headphones and sunglasses on.
• usually visibly anxious and worried, especially when using public transport of any kind.

We didn't attend any Pride events the year that we realised and accepted that were were trans (2021), as we were still in the very early stages of our transition, including coming out to some family members, some friends, and our workplace at the time, and hadn't made any connections with other trans+ folk yet.

SInce then, however, we've managed to push down the fears and attend at least London Trans+ Pride from 2022 to 2024. 2022 was still the best by far, but we still do feel a desire to go to the event, even if just to swell the numbers.

In previous years, despite all our anxieties and fears, we've managed to keep those managed and attend.

However, this year we are honestly torn, as whilst we really, really want to catch up and hang out with friends and others we know, and we believe that we'll feel safe within a large enough group, the issue of travelling there and back is honestly terrifying to us right now :PleadingFace:

We know we shouldn't and mustn't give in to fear, but honestly we cannot choose not to be afraid right now 😞 We live in a country:

• run by a transphobic and transmisic government, which listens only to anti-trans-rights voices.
• with a Supreme Court that decided to invalidate the legal identities of trans women and trans men, based on listening solely to those same anti-trans-rights voices.
• with an infiltrated and compromised Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) that has issued legally-flawed interim guidance to organisations to recommend denying trans+ people the right to use any public facilities if they so wish.
• with media that is almost-entirely transphobic and transmisic.
• where anti-trans hate speech and hate crimes are on the rise.

Attending events has never been easy for us. We get overstimulated and overwhelmed very easily. Even with meds, any events require weeks or even months of planning ahead of time. And even with the best of planning, we end up mentally and emotionally exhausted, even if we enjoyed the time spent with friends and others.

So yeah, we're conflicted AF right now, as we do NOT want to let the bigots win, but by the same token we don't want to get hurt, assaulted, or worse just for journeying whilst trans :Sighing_Face:

And it's not like we can avoid public transport to get into and around London 😞

Maybe we'll find some way, but as things stand right now, we can't see a world where we're going to feel safe or able to attend any events this year 😭

If you read this far into our vent, thank you :TransHeart: :NonBinaryHeart:

#trans #transgender #enby #NonBinary #TransFem #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights #Pride #Pride2025 #LondonTransPride2025 #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #AuDHD #neurodivergent #neurospicy #anxiety #NotSafeToBeMe #transphobia #transmisia #FuckTheUK #FuckTheUKSupremeCourt #FuckTheEHRC

So, just in case anyone doesn't already realise this about us, we're:

• highly-visibly trans fem, whilst also not being conventionally femme in many ways.
• usually obviously neurospicy AF, particularly with noise-cancelling headphones and sunglasses on.
• usually visibly anxious and worried, especially when using public transport of any kind.

We didn't attend any Pride events the year that we realised and accepted that were were trans (2021), as we were still in the very early stages of our transition, including coming out to some family members, some friends, and our workplace at the time, and hadn't made any connections with other trans+ folk yet.

SInce then, however, we've managed to push down the fears and attend at least London Trans+ Pride from 2022 to 2024. 2022 was still the best by far, but we still do feel a desire to go to the event, even if just to swell the numbers.

In previous years, despite all our anxieties and fears, we've managed to keep those managed and attend.

However, this year we are honestly torn, as whilst we really, really want to catch up and hang out with friends and others we know, and we believe that we'll feel safe within a large enough group, the issue of travelling there and back is honestly terrifying to us right now :PleadingFace:

We know we shouldn't and mustn't give in to fear, but honestly we cannot choose not to be afraid right now 😞 We live in a country:

• run by a transphobic and transmisic government, which listens only to anti-trans-rights voices.
• with a Supreme Court that decided to invalidate the legal identities of trans women and trans men, based on listening solely to those same anti-trans-rights voices.
• with an infiltrated and compromised Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) that has issued legally-flawed interim guidance to organisations to recommend denying trans+ people the right to use any public facilities if they so wish.
• with media that is almost-entirely transphobic and transmisic.
• where anti-trans hate speech and hate crimes are on the rise.

Attending events has never been easy for us. We get overstimulated and overwhelmed very easily. Even with meds, any events require weeks or even months of planning ahead of time. And even with the best of planning, we end up mentally and emotionally exhausted, even if we enjoyed the time spent with friends and others.

So yeah, we're conflicted AF right now, as we do NOT want to let the bigots win, but by the same token we don't want to get hurt, assaulted, or worse just for journeying whilst trans :Sighing_Face:

And it's not like we can avoid public transport to get into and around London 😞

Maybe we'll find some way, but as things stand right now, we can't see a world where we're going to feel safe or able to attend any events this year 😭

If you read this far into our vent, thank you :TransHeart: :NonBinaryHeart:

#trans #transgender #enby #NonBinary #TransFem #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights #Pride #Pride2025 #LondonTransPride2025 #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #AuDHD #neurodivergent #neurospicy #anxiety #NotSafeToBeMe #transphobia #transmisia #FuckTheUK #FuckTheUKSupremeCourt #FuckTheEHRC

So, just in case anyone doesn't already realise this about us, we're:

• highly-visibly trans fem, whilst also not being conventionally femme in many ways.
• usually obviously neurospicy AF, particularly with noise-cancelling headphones and sunglasses on.
• usually visibly anxious and worried, especially when using public transport of any kind.

We didn't attend any Pride events the year that we realised and accepted that were were trans (2021), as we were still in the very early stages of our transition, including coming out to some family members, some friends, and our workplace at the time, and hadn't made any connections with other trans+ folk yet.

SInce then, however, we've managed to push down the fears and attend at least London Trans+ Pride from 2022 to 2024. 2022 was still the best by far, but we still do feel a desire to go to the event, even if just to swell the numbers.

In previous years, despite all our anxieties and fears, we've managed to keep those managed and attend.

However, this year we are honestly torn, as whilst we really, really want to catch up and hang out with friends and others we know, and we believe that we'll feel safe within a large enough group, the issue of travelling there and back is honestly terrifying to us right now :PleadingFace:

We know we shouldn't and mustn't give in to fear, but honestly we cannot choose not to be afraid right now 😞 We live in a country:

• run by a transphobic and transmisic government, which listens only to anti-trans-rights voices.
• with a Supreme Court that decided to invalidate the legal identities of trans women and trans men, based on listening solely to those same anti-trans-rights voices.
• with an infiltrated and compromised Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) that has issued legally-flawed interim guidance to organisations to recommend denying trans+ people the right to use any public facilities if they so wish.
• with media that is almost-entirely transphobic and transmisic.
• where anti-trans hate speech and hate crimes are on the rise.

Attending events has never been easy for us. We get overstimulated and overwhelmed very easily. Even with meds, any events require weeks or even months of planning ahead of time. And even with the best of planning, we end up mentally and emotionally exhausted, even if we enjoyed the time spent with friends and others.

So yeah, we're conflicted AF right now, as we do NOT want to let the bigots win, but by the same token we don't want to get hurt, assaulted, or worse just for journeying whilst trans :Sighing_Face:

And it's not like we can avoid public transport to get into and around London 😞

Maybe we'll find some way, but as things stand right now, we can't see a world where we're going to feel safe or able to attend any events this year 😭

If you read this far into our vent, thank you :TransHeart: :NonBinaryHeart:

#trans #transgender #enby #NonBinary #TransFem #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights #Pride #Pride2025 #LondonTransPride2025 #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #AuDHD #neurodivergent #neurospicy #anxiety #NotSafeToBeMe #transphobia #transmisia #FuckTheUK #FuckTheUKSupremeCourt #FuckTheEHRC

So, just in case anyone doesn't already realise this about us, we're:

• highly-visibly trans fem, whilst also not being conventionally femme in many ways.
• usually obviously neurospicy AF, particularly with noise-cancelling headphones and sunglasses on.
• usually visibly anxious and worried, especially when using public transport of any kind.

We didn't attend any Pride events the year that we realised and accepted that were were trans (2021), as we were still in the very early stages of our transition, including coming out to some family members, some friends, and our workplace at the time, and hadn't made any connections with other trans+ folk yet.

SInce then, however, we've managed to push down the fears and attend at least London Trans+ Pride from 2022 to 2024. 2022 was still the best by far, but we still do feel a desire to go to the event, even if just to swell the numbers.

In previous years, despite all our anxieties and fears, we've managed to keep those managed and attend.

However, this year we are honestly torn, as whilst we really, really want to catch up and hang out with friends and others we know, and we believe that we'll feel safe within a large enough group, the issue of travelling there and back is honestly terrifying to us right now :PleadingFace:

We know we shouldn't and mustn't give in to fear, but honestly we cannot choose not to be afraid right now 😞 We live in a country:

• run by a transphobic and transmisic government, which listens only to anti-trans-rights voices.
• with a Supreme Court that decided to invalidate the legal identities of trans women and trans men, based on listening solely to those same anti-trans-rights voices.
• with an infiltrated and compromised Equality and Human Rights Commission (EHRC) that has issued legally-flawed interim guidance to organisations to recommend denying trans+ people the right to use any public facilities if they so wish.
• with media that is almost-entirely transphobic and transmisic.
• where anti-trans hate speech and hate crimes are on the rise.

Attending events has never been easy for us. We get overstimulated and overwhelmed very easily. Even with meds, any events require weeks or even months of planning ahead of time. And even with the best of planning, we end up mentally and emotionally exhausted, even if we enjoyed the time spent with friends and others.

So yeah, we're conflicted AF right now, as we do NOT want to let the bigots win, but by the same token we don't want to get hurt, assaulted, or worse just for journeying whilst trans :Sighing_Face:

And it's not like we can avoid public transport to get into and around London 😞

Maybe we'll find some way, but as things stand right now, we can't see a world where we're going to feel safe or able to attend any events this year 😭

If you read this far into our vent, thank you :TransHeart: :NonBinaryHeart:

#trans #transgender #enby #NonBinary #TransFem #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights #Pride #Pride2025 #LondonTransPride2025 #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #AuDHD #neurodivergent #neurospicy #anxiety #NotSafeToBeMe #transphobia #transmisia #FuckTheUK #FuckTheUKSupremeCourt #FuckTheEHRC

Hey folks :TransHeart:

As you're almost-certainly already aware, access to GAHT is increasingly being restricted, being outright banned, or otherwise unavailableb to many trans+ people under 18 in many places across the world 😔

For example, the UK had already banned new prescriptions of GnRH agonists (a type of puberty blocker) for any trans+ person under 18, and is now genuinely considering banning all private GAHT prescriptions too 🤬

GAHT is literally lifesaving medication for many trans+ people :BlahajHuggingTransHeart:

Without it, many trans+ people under 18 will struggle even more with mental health, and many will not make it to adulthood 😭

If you are a trans+ person under 18, or are a supportive family member or friend of someone who is, please start to make contingency plans now for the worst-case scenarios 🥺

We highly recommend bookmarking the below website and making copies of all relevant info and links in case it gets taken down:

• HRT4All
  • Before the site will let you in, it'll ask you to answer a quiz, after which it'll create a cookie called "quiz_passed" with a value of "true".
  • The website seems to have intermittent issues with the quiz, so if you encounter any issues, delete all cookies for the website and reload.
  • If all else fails, you can use an extension called Cookiebro in Firefox or Edge to import a "quiz_passed" cookie from a JSON. (Contents for Firefox cookie; contents for Edge cookie.)

If you're 18+ or soon will be, please also do the same for these:

• The DIY HRT Directory 2.0
• HRT Café
• DIYHRT Market.
• r/TransDIY Wiki.

Please note that there is now at least one homebrewer who offers estradiol sprays.

We all need to prepare now, before it's too late 🥺😞

Enough lives have already been lost. We can't save everyone, but we need to try to save as many as we can ✊

Boosts very much appreciated :BoostsOKPrideSymbol:

Edit 2025-08-19:

• Added some info to help anyone struggling to log in to HRT4All.
• Added info on additional resources.

#trans #transgender #TransKidsDeserveToGrowUp #TransKidsDeserveToThrive #SupportTransKids #TransYouthAreLoved #FuckTransphobia #FuckBigotry #FuckTheUK #TransLiberation #TransLiberationNow #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #UnitedWeStandDividedWeFall #FirstTheyCame #GenderDysphoria #GenderIncongruence #GenderAffirmingCare #GAHT #HRT #TransGenocide #PSA #PleaseBoost #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights

Hey folks :TransHeart:

As you're almost-certainly already aware, access to GAHT is increasingly being restricted, being outright banned, or otherwise unavailableb to many trans+ people under 18 in many places across the world 😔

For example, the UK had already banned new prescriptions of GnRH agonists (a type of puberty blocker) for any trans+ person under 18, and is now genuinely considering banning all private GAHT prescriptions too 🤬

GAHT is literally lifesaving medication for many trans+ people :BlahajHuggingTransHeart:

Without it, many trans+ people under 18 will struggle even more with mental health, and many will not make it to adulthood 😭

If you are a trans+ person under 18, or are a supportive family member or friend of someone who is, please start to make contingency plans now for the worst-case scenarios 🥺

We highly recommend bookmarking the below website and making copies of all relevant info and links in case it gets taken down:

• HRT4All
  • Before the site will let you in, it'll ask you to answer a quiz, after which it'll create a cookie called "quiz_passed" with a value of "true".
  • The website seems to have intermittent issues with the quiz, so if you encounter any issues, delete all cookies for the website and reload.
  • If all else fails, you can use an extension called Cookiebro in Firefox or Edge to import a "quiz_passed" cookie from a JSON. (Contents for Firefox cookie; contents for Edge cookie.)

If you're 18+ or soon will be, please also do the same for these:

• The DIY HRT Directory 2.0
• HRT Café
• DIYHRT Market.
• r/TransDIY Wiki.

Please note that there is now at least one homebrewer who offers estradiol sprays.

We all need to prepare now, before it's too late 🥺😞

Enough lives have already been lost. We can't save everyone, but we need to try to save as many as we can ✊

Boosts very much appreciated :BoostsOKPrideSymbol:

Edit 2025-08-19:

• Added some info to help anyone struggling to log in to HRT4All.
• Added info on additional resources.

#trans #transgender #TransKidsDeserveToGrowUp #TransKidsDeserveToThrive #SupportTransKids #TransYouthAreLoved #FuckTransphobia #FuckBigotry #FuckTheUK #TransLiberation #TransLiberationNow #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #UnitedWeStandDividedWeFall #FirstTheyCame #GenderDysphoria #GenderIncongruence #GenderAffirmingCare #GAHT #HRT #TransGenocide #PSA #PleaseBoost #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights

Hey folks :TransHeart:

As you're almost-certainly already aware, access to GAHT is increasingly being restricted, being outright banned, or otherwise unavailableb to many trans+ people under 18 in many places across the world 😔

For example, the UK had already banned new prescriptions of GnRH agonists (a type of puberty blocker) for any trans+ person under 18, and is now genuinely considering banning all private GAHT prescriptions too 🤬

GAHT is literally lifesaving medication for many trans+ people :BlahajHuggingTransHeart:

Without it, many trans+ people under 18 will struggle even more with mental health, and many will not make it to adulthood 😭

If you are a trans+ person under 18, or are a supportive family member or friend of someone who is, please start to make contingency plans now for the worst-case scenarios 🥺

We highly recommend bookmarking the below website and making copies of all relevant info and links in case it gets taken down:

• HRT4All
  • Before the site will let you in, it'll ask you to answer a quiz, after which it'll create a cookie called "quiz_passed" with a value of "true".
  • The website seems to have intermittent issues with the quiz, so if you encounter any issues, delete all cookies for the website and reload.
  • If all else fails, you can use an extension called Cookiebro in Firefox or Edge to import a "quiz_passed" cookie from a JSON. (Contents for Firefox cookie; contents for Edge cookie.)

If you're 18+ or soon will be, please also do the same for these:

• The DIY HRT Directory 2.0
• HRT Café
• DIYHRT Market.
• r/TransDIY Wiki.

Please note that there is now at least one homebrewer who offers estradiol sprays.

We all need to prepare now, before it's too late 🥺😞

Enough lives have already been lost. We can't save everyone, but we need to try to save as many as we can ✊

Boosts very much appreciated :BoostsOKPrideSymbol:

Edit 2025-08-19:

• Added some info to help anyone struggling to log in to HRT4All.
• Added info on additional resources.

#trans #transgender #TransKidsDeserveToGrowUp #TransKidsDeserveToThrive #SupportTransKids #TransYouthAreLoved #FuckTransphobia #FuckBigotry #FuckTheUK #TransLiberation #TransLiberationNow #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #UnitedWeStandDividedWeFall #FirstTheyCame #GenderDysphoria #GenderIncongruence #GenderAffirmingCare #GAHT #HRT #TransGenocide #PSA #PleaseBoost #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights

Hey folks :TransHeart:

As you're almost-certainly already aware, access to GAHT is increasingly being restricted, being outright banned, or otherwise unavailableb to many trans+ people under 18 in many places across the world 😔

For example, the UK had already banned new prescriptions of GnRH agonists (a type of puberty blocker) for any trans+ person under 18, and is now genuinely considering banning all private GAHT prescriptions too 🤬

GAHT is literally lifesaving medication for many trans+ people :BlahajHuggingTransHeart:

Without it, many trans+ people under 18 will struggle even more with mental health, and many will not make it to adulthood 😭

If you are a trans+ person under 18, or are a supportive family member or friend of someone who is, please start to make contingency plans now for the worst-case scenarios 🥺

We highly recommend bookmarking the below website and making copies of all relevant info and links in case it gets taken down:

• HRT4All
  • Before the site will let you in, it'll ask you to answer a quiz, after which it'll create a cookie called "quiz_passed" with a value of "true".
  • The website seems to have intermittent issues with the quiz, so if you encounter any issues, delete all cookies for the website and reload.
  • If all else fails, you can use an extension called Cookiebro in Firefox or Edge to import a "quiz_passed" cookie from a JSON. (Contents for Firefox cookie; contents for Edge cookie.)

If you're 18+ or soon will be, please also do the same for these:

• The DIY HRT Directory 2.0
• HRT Café
• DIYHRT Market.
• r/TransDIY Wiki.

Please note that there is now at least one homebrewer who offers estradiol sprays.

We all need to prepare now, before it's too late 🥺😞

Enough lives have already been lost. We can't save everyone, but we need to try to save as many as we can ✊

Boosts very much appreciated :BoostsOKPrideSymbol:

Edit 2025-08-19:

• Added some info to help anyone struggling to log in to HRT4All.
• Added info on additional resources.

#trans #transgender #TransKidsDeserveToGrowUp #TransKidsDeserveToThrive #SupportTransKids #TransYouthAreLoved #FuckTransphobia #FuckBigotry #FuckTheUK #TransLiberation #TransLiberationNow #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #UnitedWeStandDividedWeFall #FirstTheyCame #GenderDysphoria #GenderIncongruence #GenderAffirmingCare #GAHT #HRT #TransGenocide #PSA #PleaseBoost #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights

Hey folks :TransHeart:

As you're almost-certainly already aware, access to GAHT is increasingly being restricted, being outright banned, or otherwise unavailableb to many trans+ people under 18 in many places across the world 😔

For example, the UK had already banned new prescriptions of GnRH agonists (a type of puberty blocker) for any trans+ person under 18, and is now genuinely considering banning all private GAHT prescriptions too 🤬

GAHT is literally lifesaving medication for many trans+ people :BlahajHuggingTransHeart:

Without it, many trans+ people under 18 will struggle even more with mental health, and many will not make it to adulthood 😭

If you are a trans+ person under 18, or are a supportive family member or friend of someone who is, please start to make contingency plans now for the worst-case scenarios 🥺

We highly recommend bookmarking the below website and making copies of all relevant info and links in case it gets taken down:

• HRT4All
  • Before the site will let you in, it'll ask you to answer a quiz, after which it'll create a cookie called "quiz_passed" with a value of "true".
  • The website seems to have intermittent issues with the quiz, so if you encounter any issues, delete all cookies for the website and reload.
  • If all else fails, you can use an extension called Cookiebro in Firefox or Edge to import a "quiz_passed" cookie from a JSON. (Contents for Firefox cookie; contents for Edge cookie.)

If you're 18+ or soon will be, please also do the same for these:

• The DIY HRT Directory 2.0
• HRT Café
• DIYHRT Market.
• r/TransDIY Wiki.

Please note that there is now at least one homebrewer who offers estradiol sprays.

We all need to prepare now, before it's too late 🥺😞

Enough lives have already been lost. We can't save everyone, but we need to try to save as many as we can ✊

Boosts very much appreciated :BoostsOKPrideSymbol:

Edit 2025-08-19:

• Added some info to help anyone struggling to log in to HRT4All.
• Added info on additional resources.

#trans #transgender #TransKidsDeserveToGrowUp #TransKidsDeserveToThrive #SupportTransKids #TransYouthAreLoved #FuckTransphobia #FuckBigotry #FuckTheUK #TransLiberation #TransLiberationNow #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #UnitedWeStandDividedWeFall #FirstTheyCame #GenderDysphoria #GenderIncongruence #GenderAffirmingCare #GAHT #HRT #TransGenocide #PSA #PleaseBoost #TransRights #TransRightsAreHumanRights

After first banning new prescriptions of GnRH agonists (one category of puberty blockers) to trans kids, the bigots are now gunning to prevent estradiol and testosterone being given to trans kids :PleadingFace: :BlobCatCry:

https://archive.is/6rwed

Rest assured that the bigots won't stop here. They'll be coming after gay marriage, contraception, abortion rights, women's rights, migrant rights, POC, anti-dicrimination laws, adult trans rights and healthcare, and anything else that they object to.

They don't just want a return to the 1950s: they want us to go back to the 1930s.

This is not a drill or alarmism, people. Fascism is back and it's coming for all of us.

We for one will not be sitting idle whilst this happens ✊

Boosts are welcome :BoostsOKPrideSymbol: Please share this far and wide, and start prepping and planning for the worst.

#TransKidsDeserveBetter #TransKidsDeserveToGrowUp #TransKidsDeserveToThrive #TransYouthAreLoved #transphobia #transmisia #bigotry #FuckYouWesStreeting #FuckTheUK #DeathBeforeDetransition #queer #LGBTQ+ #LGBTQIA+ #WeAreStrongerTogether #FirstTheyCame #BoostsWelcome