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#husband — Public Fediverse posts

Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #husband, aggregated by home.social.

  1. Agony Aunt: “Husband brushes his teeth then drinks orange juice” 🍊

    It is true that some human males are just ill. For example, with today’s example, a human male whom enjoys brushing his teeth and then drinking orange juice. What does one do with such a deranged specimen?

    Well, good job we’re trained agony aunts and doctors then, isn’t it? Even though we’re neither, we’re arrogant and unstable enough to push on with our assessment, certain in our belief we can find some sort of answer.

    When a Man Thinks Drinking Orange Juice Post-Tooth Brushing is OK

    Dear agony aunt,

    I’m sobbing while I type this. Sobbing. My husband of 15 months has what he calls a new “hobby” and it’s drinking orange juice after he’s just brushed his teeth. We all know how DISGUSTING that sensation is, how it corrupts the taste of pure, healthy, delicious, and refreshing OJ. He says he likes it and now I’m left questioning his sanity.

    Not just his sanity, but mine as well. What the Hell did I marry into? His mother didn’t mention this to me. She didn’t say, “Frankie, your husband will develop this really weird problem that’ll destroy your lives, best of luck with that.” She said nothing! I’ve rounded on her furiously about that, I’ve sent her a load of highly abusive text messages effing and blinding and offloading my rage. I feel a lot better about it, but now she’s refusing to speak to me. Cow!

    Anyway, my husband thinks there’s nothing wrong with his illness.

    I’ve pointed out that drinking orange juice after is REVOLTING and a really, really weird taste in your mouth. I have reiterated the REVOLTING point of view many, many times. One step I took was to do it myself (brush teeth, drink OJ) and I made a dramatic scene of clutching at my throat, rolling around on the floor, gurgling etc. My husband called me “immature” and “hysterical”. I got up and called him a lot of very mean swear words that maybe pushed the boundaries of polite society, but I felt they were worthwhile in that situation. But now my husband isn’t speaking to me and it’s been 48 hours.

    He keeps drinking the OJ (after brushing his teeth, of course).

    To spite me, he did a supermarket online food order JUST FOR HIMSELF and the order was something like 14 litres of orange juice, 12 tubes of toothpaste, and an electric toothbrush. He spent the weekend sitting on the sofa, watching the world cup, downing orange juice, brushing his teeth, and even my hysterical shrieking at him wouldn’t make him stop.

    Thoughts on all of this? I’m at a loss.

    Kind regards,

    Frankie

    Frank—to be honest, this is one of the most bizarre agony aunt columns we’ve ever had to deal with. We’ve been dealing with this insane crap from weirdos for 10 years now, but this truly takes the biscuit.

    But… on duty of care as agony aunt obliges us to review you case. We note:

    1. Based on his diet, your husband has very little chance of getting scurvy
    2. He also won’t be suffering from rotten teeth, given his excellent teeth brushing consistency
    3. Your obsession with his habit (“hobby” as he calls it) will destroy your marriage
    4. Oh hey, we just realised we’ve been doing this agony aunt thing for 10 years! 🥳🍾🥂

    We’re happier about our 10th anniversary than anything else, so have decided to take the day off and not bother resolving your daft marital strife. All the best, Frank!

    #AgonyAunt #dentalHygiene #Food #Humor #Husband #Lifestyle #Marriage #OrangeJuice #relationshipProblems #Relationships #Satire #satirical #Silly #Toothpaste
  2. Agony Aunt: “Husband brushes his teeth then drinks orange juice” 🍊

    It is true that some human males are just ill. For example, with today’s example, a human male whom enjoys brushing his teeth and then drinking orange juice. What does one do with such a deranged specimen?

    Well, good job we’re trained agony aunts and doctors then, isn’t it? Even though we’re neither, we’re arrogant and unstable enough to push on with our assessment, certain in our belief we can find some sort of answer.

    When a Man Thinks Drinking Orange Juice Post-Tooth Brushing is OK

    Dear agony aunt,

    I’m sobbing while I type this. Sobbing. My husband of 15 months has what he calls a new “hobby” and it’s drinking orange juice after he’s just brushed his teeth. We all know how DISGUSTING that sensation is, how it corrupts the taste of pure, healthy, delicious, and refreshing OJ. He says he likes it and now I’m left questioning his sanity.

    Not just his sanity, but mine as well. What the Hell did I marry into? His mother didn’t mention this to me. She didn’t say, “Frankie, your husband will develop this really weird problem that’ll destroy your lives, best of luck with that.” She said nothing! I’ve rounded on her furiously about that, I’ve sent her a load of highly abusive text messages effing and blinding and offloading my rage. I feel a lot better about it, but now she’s refusing to speak to me. Cow!

    Anyway, my husband thinks there’s nothing wrong with his illness.

    I’ve pointed out that drinking orange juice after is REVOLTING and a really, really weird taste in your mouth. I have reiterated the REVOLTING point of view many, many times. One step I took was to do it myself (brush teeth, drink OJ) and I made a dramatic scene of clutching at my throat, rolling around on the floor, gurgling etc. My husband called me “immature” and “hysterical”. I got up and called him a lot of very mean swear words that maybe pushed the boundaries of polite society, but I felt they were worthwhile in that situation. But now my husband isn’t speaking to me and it’s been 48 hours.

    He keeps drinking the OJ (after brushing his teeth, of course).

    To spite me, he did a supermarket online food order JUST FOR HIMSELF and the order was something like 14 litres of orange juice, 12 tubes of toothpaste, and an electric toothbrush. He spent the weekend sitting on the sofa, watching the world cup, downing orange juice, brushing his teeth, and even my hysterical shrieking at him wouldn’t make him stop.

    Thoughts on all of this? I’m at a loss.

    Kind regards,

    Frankie

    Frank—to be honest, this is one of the most bizarre agony aunt columns we’ve ever had to deal with. We’ve been dealing with this insane crap from weirdos for 10 years now, but this truly takes the biscuit.

    But… on duty of care as agony aunt obliges us to review you case. We note:

    1. Based on his diet, your husband has very little chance of getting scurvy
    2. He also won’t be suffering from rotten teeth, given his excellent teeth brushing consistency
    3. Your obsession with his habit (“hobby” as he calls it) will destroy your marriage
    4. Oh hey, we just realised we’ve been doing this agony aunt thing for 10 years! 🥳🍾🥂

    We’re happier about our 10th anniversary than anything else, so have decided to take the day off and not bother resolving your daft marital strife. All the best, Frank!

    #AgonyAunt #dentalHygiene #Food #Humor #Husband #Lifestyle #Marriage #OrangeJuice #relationshipProblems #Relationships #Satire #satirical #Silly #Toothpaste
  3. Nigerian children suffer due to Iran war’s effects

    SOKOTO, Nigeria — Maryam Aminu was hardly surprised when the last of her six children was diagnosed with malnutrition in…
    #NewsBeep #News #BreakingNews #breakingnews #child #effect #family #february #food #husband #Iran #iranwar #malnutrition #maryamaminu #MiddleEast #northernNigeria #retailprice #sokotostate #World #year
    newsbeep.com/651500/

  4. Millennials Are Financially Supporting Retired Baby Boomer Parents

    For better or worse, America treats retirement like a personal problem. Yes, there’s Social Security, but it’s only…
    #NewsBeep #News #Personalfinance #62-year-oldlaura #angiechen #AU #Australia #boomer #brandon #Business #caregiver #family #Finance #goldenyear #house #husband #millennialkid #mother-in-law #parent #people #PersonalFinance #Retirement #retirementsavingplan
    newsbeep.com/au/809362/

  5. Good #morning to readers; #kyiv remains in #ukrainian hands.

    Natalia works as an #car #mechanic a male-dominated field she would likely have never chosen on her own.

    However, when her #husband left for #war Natalia, like many #ukrainian women, had to step up.

    counteroffensive.news/p/how-co

  6. Good #morning to readers; #kyiv remains in #ukrainian hands.

    Natalia works as an #car #mechanic a male-dominated field she would likely have never chosen on her own.

    However, when her #husband left for #war Natalia, like many #ukrainian women, had to step up.

    counteroffensive.news/p/how-co

  7. Her In-Laws Thought Weight Comments Were Acceptable, So She Set About Proving Them Wrong

    Pexels/Reddit Family comments can sometimes go too far. The following story involves a woman who moved abroad with…
    #NewsBeep #News #Health #aita #comments #GB #husband #mother-in-law #Obsession #picture #pounds #Reddit #top #UK #UnitedKingdom #weight
    newsbeep.com/uk/689065/

  8. Her In-Laws Thought Weight Comments Were Acceptable, So She Set About Proving Them Wrong

    Pexels/Reddit Family comments can sometimes go too far. The following story involves a woman who moved abroad with…
    #NewsBeep #News #US #USA #UnitedStates #UnitedStatesOfAmerica #Health #aita #comments #husband #mother-in-law #Obsession #picture #pounds #Reddit #top #weight
    newsbeep.com/us/760094/

  9. Her In-Laws Thought Weight Comments Were Acceptable, So She Set About Proving Them Wrong

    Pexels/Reddit Family comments can sometimes go too far. The following story involves a woman who moved abroad with…
    #NewsBeep #News #US #USA #UnitedStates #UnitedStatesOfAmerica #Health #aita #comments #husband #mother-in-law #Obsession #picture #pounds #Reddit #top #weight
    newsbeep.com/us/760094/

  10. If a Man wants to be a King, then he should treat his Wife as a Queen. 

    Sadly, many men don't give their wives the respect they deserve.

    #couple #wife #husband #marriage #relationship #love #King #Queen #womenrights #girl #woman #man #opinion #thought #respect

  11. If a Man wants to be a King, then he should treat his Wife as a Queen. 

    Sadly, many men don't give their wives the respect they deserve.

    #couple #wife #husband #marriage #relationship #love #King #Queen #womenrights #girl #woman #man #opinion #thought #respect

  12. If a Man wants to be a King, then he should treat his Wife as a Queen. 

    Sadly, many men don't give their wives the respect they deserve.

    #couple #wife #husband #marriage #relationship #love #King #Queen #womenrights #girl #woman #man #opinion #thought #respect

  13. If a Man wants to be a King, then he should treat his Wife as a Queen. 

    Sadly, many men don't give their wives the respect they deserve.

    #couple #wife #husband #marriage #relationship #love #King #Queen #womenrights #girl #woman #man #opinion #thought #respect

  14. According to Diana, the #woman was telling her #husband about #Mariupol, and how #Russia “was doing everything correctly, but could’ve been more gentle, because there were #children there.”

  15. According to Diana, the #woman was telling her #husband about #Mariupol, and how #Russia “was doing everything correctly, but could’ve been more gentle, because there were #children there.”

  16. A quotation from Robert Louis Stevenson

    Marriage is one long conversation, chequered by disputes.

    Robert Louis Stevenson (1850–1894) Scottish essayist, novelist, poet
    Essay (1882-08), “Talk and Talkers (A Sequel),” Cornhill Magazine, Vol. 46

    More about this quote: wist.info/stevenson-robert-lou…

    #quote #quotes #quotation #qotd #robertlouisstevenson #relationship #argument #talking #communication #coexistence #conversation #disagreement #discussion #dispute #engagement #husband #marriage #partnership #spouse #wife

  17. A quotation from Robert Louis Stevenson

    Marriage is one long conversation, chequered by disputes.

    Robert Louis Stevenson (1850–1894) Scottish essayist, novelist, poet
    Essay (1882-08), “Talk and Talkers (A Sequel),” Cornhill Magazine, Vol. 46

    More about this quote: wist.info/stevenson-robert-lou…

    #quote #quotes #quotation #qotd #robertlouisstevenson #relationship #argument #talking #communication #coexistence #conversation #disagreement #discussion #dispute #engagement #husband #marriage #partnership #spouse #wife

  18. A quotation from Robert Louis Stevenson

    Marriage is one long conversation, chequered by disputes.

    Robert Louis Stevenson (1850–1894) Scottish essayist, novelist, poet
    Essay (1882-08), “Talk and Talkers (A Sequel),” Cornhill Magazine, Vol. 46

    More about this quote: wist.info/stevenson-robert-lou…

    #quote #quotes #quotation #qotd #robertlouisstevenson #relationship #argument #talking #communication #coexistence #conversation #disagreement #discussion #dispute #engagement #husband #marriage #partnership #spouse #wife

  19. Agony Aunt: “Suntan lotion is woke propaganda!” ⛱️☀️🌅

    It’s that time of year again when UK geezers in a heatwave take on the giant star at the centre of our solar system. And UK geezers will always win, as the Sun is woke.

    But what if you have a doting wife, looking on at your manly husband, concerned about his wellbeing? Quit nagging, lady, you need to cut that woke out!

    When a Woman Complains About Manly Sunburn

    Alright mate? I’m Danny. 35. Got 3 kids, the missus is a banger and we’ve just been on holiday to Spain. It were dead good but THE WIFE were nagging the whole trip because of me sunburn. It were manly sunburn. Sunburn is manly. I got it over 57% of me body and were beaming red even when I got home to Preston and showed me mates down the pub and it were banging. Pub landlord looked at me and gave me a free pint saying I were a hero for the nation. It were the best day of me life!

    Then the nagging went on and on and on. The wife were on my case about how I were “red raw” and that me grunts of agony and “strained” facial expressions of agony, and the occasional scream of sunburn agony, were worrying her. Yeah, it hurts like a bastard but that’s the price you pay for NOT BEING WOKE.

    Because what am I gonna do, slather my body in suntan lotion!? I’ve read the conspiracy theories me and I know the truth. The truth scares me rigid and gives me anxiety attacks when I think about it:

    • Suntan lotion has mind-altering chemicals in it that makes you a leftist feminist
    • Suntan lotion gives you rabies
    • My mate went woke and used suntan lotion last week and now he’s dead because he was run over by a car and you can’t tell me that’s not coincidence
    • Suntan lotion means you don’t get sunburn and that’s woke and I want to be manly

    Think I’ve made me case clear as day. Sound as a pound. Yeah, I’ve spent all my time typing this shouting sweet bloody murder because of the sunburn, but it does mean I got to skip work and that’s what life is all about, mate! Eh? So tell me wife to SLING HER HOOK so I can continue on me way, being a real man, not being a jessy.

    Cheers,

    Danny

    Hi there, Danny! Not really sure what to add here other than you clearly have your priorities in life sorted. However, and whomever, it’s important to remember that old adage:

    “A sunburn is for life, not just for Christmas.”

    Therefore, you are indeed right to get on your wife’s case about this. You’re caring for, and nurturing, your sunburn into the next generation, so that future sunburns will be even more manly for the men of this world. That is simply science, based on empirical evidence, as God as our witness.

    You’re a real hero, Danny. There aren’t many around these woke days, but from now on we mark 29th June as an annual tribute day to Danny, the sunburned man who screams in agony every time he breathes.

    #AgonyAunt #dating #Humor #Husband #Lifestyle #Marriage #relationshipAdvice #Relationships #Satire #satirical #Silly #Sunburn #suntan #suntanLotion #woke