#satirical — Public Fediverse posts

The Little Prance: Great Books That Never Were 🕺🩰💃

The Little Prince (Le Petit Prince) is a famous French novella by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. It published in 1943. But did you know The Little Prance also published in 1983, by sheer coincidance (pun intended) as a moving novella about friendship, prancing, and hellish death during wartime.

Today, we’re here to celebrate the oft-forgotten work. It sold poorly upon launch, continues to sell poorly to this day, but for prancing enthusiasts such as ourselves it’s a great undiscovered masterpiece.

The Joys of Letting it All Hang Out in The Little Prance

“Then he pranced. He pranced like he’d never pranced before and, lo, there was much prancing amongst the prance enthusiasts.”

The work was written by noted pseudoscientist Dr. John Doctorson, noted for his extreme views on tennis elbow and athlete’s foot (the latter of which he “cured” through rampant amputations). In 1990, he noted in a rare interview he wrote the book as a:

“Love letter to exaggerated movements.”

The Little Prance is a bit like the film Billy Elliot (2000), but not at all as it’s set in Victorian era England 1879 and follows the exploits of the young man Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III and his life in an upper class English family.

To the DISGUST of his mother Ingrid, Charlie befriends a working-class scumbag from a neighbouring town called Derek. The two bond over the popular pastime of prancing about the place, all whilst the mother rages about it big time:

“I cannot abide how you could besmirch the name of our family by proliferating your being around such a disgraceful specimen! Charles Twistleton Montgomery III!! Are you listening to me?!? Your fatuous friend, Derek… his family do not even own but ONE acre of land! You have brought great shame on our family to associate with such pustules of society!”

Regardless, Charlie disobeys his mother in secret. Spending many hours, days, weeks, and months together, by their teenage years they’re set to compete in The National Prancing Championships and are eager to see each other do well.

Alas, Charlie’s mother Ingrid doesn’t like the possibility of Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III losing to the various lower class plebs in the competition. Thus, she deigns it so to sabotage leading contestants and shatter their dreams through:

• Leg breaking
• Poisoning
• Blackmail
• Nasty glares
• Enforced volunteering into the Anglo-Zulu War

After Ingrid threatens Derek’s mother with a monocle, Derek is sent off to the Zulu War, thus removing her son’s lead competitor from the contest.

However, when Charlie discovers what has happened, in DISGUST he quits the competition, signs up to the Anglo-Zulu War, and meets Derek out on the front. There, as arrows and spears rain down from all around them, the duo prance about the place in joyous unison.

The end.

A most moving tale indeed, although it is disappointing there aren’t more swear words across the 250 pages. Would it have killed the author to drop a few “bastards” or something? So, one mark off for that, otherwise this is a solid 4/5 from us and well worth a go.

The Long-Forgotten Sequel: The Little Prances

As we closed for press, it came to our attention of a 1985 sequel called The Little Prances. This one is set during the inaugural Eurovision Song Contest on May 24th 1956.

Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III’s great grandson Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery IIII is continuing the family tradition by prancing for a career.

Held in Lugano, Switzerland, his song is titled Prance and involves a variety of piano, French horns, and his own prance solo. The 500 page novel explores the build-up to the event, his extensive training, and his personal disappointments after receiving 0 points for his performance.

To be honest, we though it was crap. Read the first one instead.

The Little Prance: Great Books That Never Were 🕺🩰💃

The Little Prince (Le Petit Prince) is a famous French novella by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. It published in 1943. But did you know The Little Prance also published in 1983, by sheer coincidance (pun intended) as a moving novella about friendship, prancing, and hellish death during wartime.

Today, we’re here to celebrate the oft-forgotten work. It sold poorly upon launch, continues to sell poorly to this day, but for prancing enthusiasts such as ourselves it’s a great undiscovered masterpiece.

The Joys of Letting it All Hang Out in The Little Prance

“Then he pranced. He pranced like he’d never pranced before and, lo, there was much prancing amongst the prance enthusiasts.”

The work was written by noted pseudoscientist Dr. John Doctorson, noted for his extreme views on tennis elbow and athlete’s foot (the latter of which he “cured” through rampant amputations). In 1990, he noted in a rare interview he wrote the book as a:

“Love letter to exaggerated movements.”

The Little Prance is a bit like the film Billy Elliot (2000), but not at all as it’s set in Victorian era England 1879 and follows the exploits of the young man Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III and his life in an upper class English family.

To the DISGUST of his mother Ingrid, Charlie befriends a working-class scumbag from a neighbouring town called Derek. The two bond over the popular pastime of prancing about the place, all whilst the mother rages about it big time:

“I cannot abide how you could besmirch the name of our family by proliferating your being around such a disgraceful specimen! Charles Twistleton Montgomery III!! Are you listening to me?!? Your fatuous friend, Derek… his family do not even own but ONE acre of land! You have brought great shame on our family to associate with such pustules of society!”

Regardless, Charlie disobeys his mother in secret. Spending many hours, days, weeks, and months together, by their teenage years they’re set to compete in The National Prancing Championships and are eager to see each other do well.

Alas, Charlie’s mother Ingrid doesn’t like the possibility of Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III losing to the various lower class plebs in the competition. Thus, she deigns it so to sabotage leading contestants and shatter their dreams through:

• Leg breaking
• Poisoning
• Blackmail
• Nasty glares
• Enforced volunteering into the Anglo-Zulu War

After Ingrid threatens Derek’s mother with a monocle, Derek is sent off to the Zulu War, thus removing her son’s lead competitor from the contest.

However, when Charlie discovers what has happened, in DISGUST he quits the competition, signs up to the Anglo-Zulu War, and meets Derek out on the front. There, as arrows and spears rain down from all around them, the duo prance about the place in joyous unison.

The end.

A most moving tale indeed, although it is disappointing there aren’t more swear words across the 250 pages. Would it have killed the author to drop a few “bastards” or something? So, one mark off for that, otherwise this is a solid 4/5 from us and well worth a go.

The Long-Forgotten Sequel: The Little Prances

As we closed for press, it came to our attention of a 1985 sequel called The Little Prances. This one is set during the inaugural Eurovision Song Contest on May 24th 1956.

Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III’s great grandson Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery IIII is continuing the family tradition by prancing for a career.

Held in Lugano, Switzerland, his song is titled Prance and involves a variety of piano, French horns, and his own prance solo. The 500 page novel explores the build-up to the event, his extensive training, and his personal disappointments after receiving 0 points for his performance.

To be honest, we though it was crap. Read the first one instead.

The Little Prance: Great Books That Never Were 🕺🩰💃

The Little Prince (Le Petit Prince) is a famous French novella by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. It published in 1943. But did you know The Little Prance also published in 1983, by sheer coincidance (pun intended) as a moving novella about friendship, prancing, and hellish death during wartime.

Today, we’re here to celebrate the oft-forgotten work. It sold poorly upon launch, continues to sell poorly to this day, but for prancing enthusiasts such as ourselves it’s a great undiscovered masterpiece.

The Joys of Letting it All Hang Out in The Little Prance

“Then he pranced. He pranced like he’d never pranced before and, lo, there was much prancing amongst the prance enthusiasts.”

The work was written by noted pseudoscientist Dr. John Doctorson, noted for his extreme views on tennis elbow and athlete’s foot (the latter of which he “cured” through rampant amputations). In 1990, he noted in a rare interview he wrote the book as a:

“Love letter to exaggerated movements.”

The Little Prance is a bit like the film Billy Elliot (2000), but not at all as it’s set in Victorian era England 1879 and follows the exploits of the young man Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III and his life in an upper class English family.

To the DISGUST of his mother Ingrid, Charlie befriends a working-class scumbag from a neighbouring town called Derek. The two bond over the popular pastime of prancing about the place, all whilst the mother rages about it big time:

“I cannot abide how you could besmirch the name of our family by proliferating your being around such a disgraceful specimen! Charles Twistleton Montgomery III!! Are you listening to me?!? Your fatuous friend, Derek… his family do not even own but ONE acre of land! You have brought great shame on our family to associate with such pustules of society!”

Regardless, Charlie disobeys his mother in secret. Spending many hours, days, weeks, and months together, by their teenage years they’re set to compete in The National Prancing Championships and are eager to see each other do well.

Alas, Charlie’s mother Ingrid doesn’t like the possibility of Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III losing to the various lower class plebs in the competition. Thus, she deigns it so to sabotage leading contestants and shatter their dreams through:

• Leg breaking
• Poisoning
• Blackmail
• Nasty glares
• Enforced volunteering into the Anglo-Zulu War

After Ingrid threatens Derek’s mother with a monocle, Derek is sent off to the Zulu War, thus removing her son’s lead competitor from the contest.

However, when Charlie discovers what has happened, in DISGUST he quits the competition, signs up to the Anglo-Zulu War, and meets Derek out on the front. There, as arrows and spears rain down from all around them, the duo prance about the place in joyous unison.

The end.

A most moving tale indeed, although it is disappointing there aren’t more swear words across the 250 pages. Would it have killed the author to drop a few “bastards” or something? So, one mark off for that, otherwise this is a solid 4/5 from us and well worth a go.

The Long-Forgotten Sequel: The Little Prances

As we closed for press, it came to our attention of a 1985 sequel called The Little Prances. This one is set during the inaugural Eurovision Song Contest on May 24th 1956.

Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III’s great grandson Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery IIII is continuing the family tradition by prancing for a career.

Held in Lugano, Switzerland, his song is titled Prance and involves a variety of piano, French horns, and his own prance solo. The 500 page novel explores the build-up to the event, his extensive training, and his personal disappointments after receiving 0 points for his performance.

To be honest, we though it was crap. Read the first one instead.

The Little Prance: Great Books That Never Were 🕺🩰💃

The Little Prince (Le Petit Prince) is a famous French novella by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. It published in 1943. But did you know The Little Prance also published in 1983, by sheer coincidance (pun intended) as a moving novella about friendship, prancing, and hellish death during wartime.

Today, we’re here to celebrate the oft-forgotten work. It sold poorly upon launch, continues to sell poorly to this day, but for prancing enthusiasts such as ourselves it’s a great undiscovered masterpiece.

The Joys of Letting it All Hang Out in The Little Prance

“Then he pranced. He pranced like he’d never pranced before and, lo, there was much prancing amongst the prance enthusiasts.”

The work was written by noted pseudoscientist Dr. John Doctorson, noted for his extreme views on tennis elbow and athlete’s foot (the latter of which he “cured” through rampant amputations). In 1990, he noted in a rare interview he wrote the book as a:

“Love letter to exaggerated movements.”

The Little Prance is a bit like the film Billy Elliot (2000), but not at all as it’s set in Victorian era England 1879 and follows the exploits of the young man Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III and his life in an upper class English family.

To the DISGUST of his mother Ingrid, Charlie befriends a working-class scumbag from a neighbouring town called Derek. The two bond over the popular pastime of prancing about the place, all whilst the mother rages about it big time:

“I cannot abide how you could besmirch the name of our family by proliferating your being around such a disgraceful specimen! Charles Twistleton Montgomery III!! Are you listening to me?!? Your fatuous friend, Derek… his family do not even own but ONE acre of land! You have brought great shame on our family to associate with such pustules of society!”

Regardless, Charlie disobeys his mother in secret. Spending many hours, days, weeks, and months together, by their teenage years they’re set to compete in The National Prancing Championships and are eager to see each other do well.

Alas, Charlie’s mother Ingrid doesn’t like the possibility of Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III losing to the various lower class plebs in the competition. Thus, she deigns it so to sabotage leading contestants and shatter their dreams through:

• Leg breaking
• Poisoning
• Blackmail
• Nasty glares
• Enforced volunteering into the Anglo-Zulu War

After Ingrid threatens Derek’s mother with a monocle, Derek is sent off to the Zulu War, thus removing her son’s lead competitor from the contest.

However, when Charlie discovers what has happened, in DISGUST he quits the competition, signs up to the Anglo-Zulu War, and meets Derek out on the front. There, as arrows and spears rain down from all around them, the duo prance about the place in joyous unison.

The end.

A most moving tale indeed, although it is disappointing there aren’t more swear words across the 250 pages. Would it have killed the author to drop a few “bastards” or something? So, one mark off for that, otherwise this is a solid 4/5 from us and well worth a go.

The Long-Forgotten Sequel: The Little Prances

As we closed for press, it came to our attention of a 1985 sequel called The Little Prances. This one is set during the inaugural Eurovision Song Contest on May 24th 1956.

Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III’s great grandson Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery IIII is continuing the family tradition by prancing for a career.

Held in Lugano, Switzerland, his song is titled Prance and involves a variety of piano, French horns, and his own prance solo. The 500 page novel explores the build-up to the event, his extensive training, and his personal disappointments after receiving 0 points for his performance.

To be honest, we though it was crap. Read the first one instead.

The Little Prance: Great Books That Never Were 🕺🩰💃

The Little Prince (Le Petit Prince) is a famous French novella by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. It published in 1943. But did you know The Little Prance also published in 1983, by sheer coincidance (pun intended) as a moving novella about friendship, prancing, and hellish death during wartime.

Today, we’re here to celebrate the oft-forgotten work. It sold poorly upon launch, continues to sell poorly to this day, but for prancing enthusiasts such as ourselves it’s a great undiscovered masterpiece.

The Joys of Letting it All Hang Out in The Little Prance

“Then he pranced. He pranced like he’d never pranced before and, lo, there was much prancing amongst the prance enthusiasts.”

The work was written by noted pseudoscientist Dr. John Doctorson, noted for his extreme views on tennis elbow and athlete’s foot (the latter of which he “cured” through rampant amputations). In 1990, he noted in a rare interview he wrote the book as a:

“Love letter to exaggerated movements.”

The Little Prance is a bit like the film Billy Elliot (2000), but not at all as it’s set in Victorian era England 1879 and follows the exploits of the young man Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III and his life in an upper class English family.

To the DISGUST of his mother Ingrid, Charlie befriends a working-class scumbag from a neighbouring town called Derek. The two bond over the popular pastime of prancing about the place, all whilst the mother rages about it big time:

“I cannot abide how you could besmirch the name of our family by proliferating your being around such a disgraceful specimen! Charles Twistleton Montgomery III!! Are you listening to me?!? Your fatuous friend, Derek… his family do not even own but ONE acre of land! You have brought great shame on our family to associate with such pustules of society!”

Regardless, Charlie disobeys his mother in secret. Spending many hours, days, weeks, and months together, by their teenage years they’re set to compete in The National Prancing Championships and are eager to see each other do well.

Alas, Charlie’s mother Ingrid doesn’t like the possibility of Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III losing to the various lower class plebs in the competition. Thus, she deigns it so to sabotage leading contestants and shatter their dreams through:

• Leg breaking
• Poisoning
• Blackmail
• Nasty glares
• Enforced volunteering into the Anglo-Zulu War

After Ingrid threatens Derek’s mother with a monocle, Derek is sent off to the Zulu War, thus removing her son’s lead competitor from the contest.

However, when Charlie discovers what has happened, in DISGUST he quits the competition, signs up to the Anglo-Zulu War, and meets Derek out on the front. There, as arrows and spears rain down from all around them, the duo prance about the place in joyous unison.

The end.

A most moving tale indeed, although it is disappointing there aren’t more swear words across the 250 pages. Would it have killed the author to drop a few “bastards” or something? So, one mark off for that, otherwise this is a solid 4/5 from us and well worth a go.

The Long-Forgotten Sequel: The Little Prances

As we closed for press, it came to our attention of a 1985 sequel called The Little Prances. This one is set during the inaugural Eurovision Song Contest on May 24th 1956.

Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III’s great grandson Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery IIII is continuing the family tradition by prancing for a career.

Held in Lugano, Switzerland, his song is titled Prance and involves a variety of piano, French horns, and his own prance solo. The 500 page novel explores the build-up to the event, his extensive training, and his personal disappointments after receiving 0 points for his performance.

To be honest, we though it was crap. Read the first one instead.

Hop-Line: 24/7 Helpline for Frogs and Toads 🐸 [Sponsored Post]

Wart’s up, froggos and toads? In this stressful 24/7 frog race world of work, hopping, ribbits, and vacant staring into the middle distance, it’s always nice to know a kindly listening frog is only a phone call away.

Whether you have Kermit-ment issues to your amphibian spouse, you’ve lost your lily pad, or you don’t see the point in hopping no more, call the Hop-Line today to resolve all your ills.

Is Your Pond a Toxic Swamp? Call Now On: 1-900-RIBB-IT

Our Hop-Line is staffed 24/7 by a team of 33,000 eager good Samaritan volunteer frogs and toads with nothing better to do with their team than help others.

We know your pain points, for frogs have many issues in life. So hop to it, give us a call, and discuss issues such as:

• Why you always feel so slimy and gross
• Why the neighbourhood cat keeps prodding you with its paws
• The nature and being of herons
• Raising an army of 300 frog spawn and the problems they bring
• You can’t hop, won’t hop, yet want to hop

So, whether you’re a tadpole facing employment issues or a bullfrog dealing with a mass of noise complaints, you can call us NOW to deal with:

• Metamorphosis anxiety: Woken up and your tail is gone? We’re got a cream for that!
• Dietary fatigue: Bored of eating nothing but the same species? You need to switch to a new diet, carefully honed to your needs by our expert frog chefs!
• Relationship red flags: Is that other frog into you, or is he simply inflating his vocal sac to assert dominance in his bid for pond retention status? We have the answers! Ribbit!

Call us now on: 1-900-RIBB-IT. It’s COMPLETELY FREE (as opposed to partially free)!

And, of course, we know you don’t own, know how to operate, and have no concept of what a phone call is. You’re a frog/toad after all! Instead, simply rear your head to the sky and ribbit that number: 1-900-RIBB-IT.

Once we hear you, we’ll eventually send one of our experts to you destination within 12 months to 35 years later.

Testimonials From Our Happy Hop-Line Customers

“Ribbit!” Jeff the frog

“CroooOak.” John the toad

“Ribbit! Croak…” Bob the frog

“Qwark! Qwarrrrrk! Qwark.” Mike the toad

“One contacted this God-forsaken supposed ‘helpline’ for advice on the many acres of land within one’s hereditary lineage. To one’s eternal shock, all one could hear were the sounds of God-forsaken frogs croaking, ribbiting, and qwarking upon the other end of one’s receiver. Greatly dismayed, one abandoned the call and stalked off to berate one of one’s numerous and plentiful underpaid maids.” Dame Penelope Twistleton-Clad Smithson III of Dorchester