#satirical — Public Fediverse posts

The Little Prance: Great Books That Never Were 🕺🩰💃

The Little Prince (Le Petit Prince) is a famous French novella by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. It published in 1943. But did you know The Little Prance also published in 1983, by sheer coincidance (pun intended) as a moving novella about friendship, prancing, and hellish death during wartime.

Today, we’re here to celebrate the oft-forgotten work. It sold poorly upon launch, continues to sell poorly to this day, but for prancing enthusiasts such as ourselves it’s a great undiscovered masterpiece.

The Joys of Letting it All Hang Out in The Little Prance

“Then he pranced. He pranced like he’d never pranced before and, lo, there was much prancing amongst the prance enthusiasts.”

The work was written by noted pseudoscientist Dr. John Doctorson, noted for his extreme views on tennis elbow and athlete’s foot (the latter of which he “cured” through rampant amputations). In 1990, he noted in a rare interview he wrote the book as a:

“Love letter to exaggerated movements.”

The Little Prance is a bit like the film Billy Elliot (2000), but not at all as it’s set in Victorian era England 1879 and follows the exploits of the young man Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III and his life in an upper class English family.

To the DISGUST of his mother Ingrid, Charlie befriends a working-class scumbag from a neighbouring town called Derek. The two bond over the popular pastime of prancing about the place, all whilst the mother rages about it big time:

“I cannot abide how you could besmirch the name of our family by proliferating your being around such a disgraceful specimen! Charles Twistleton Montgomery III!! Are you listening to me?!? Your fatuous friend, Derek… his family do not even own but ONE acre of land! You have brought great shame on our family to associate with such pustules of society!”

Regardless, Charlie disobeys his mother in secret. Spending many hours, days, weeks, and months together, by their teenage years they’re set to compete in The National Prancing Championships and are eager to see each other do well.

Alas, Charlie’s mother Ingrid doesn’t like the possibility of Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III losing to the various lower class plebs in the competition. Thus, she deigns it so to sabotage leading contestants and shatter their dreams through:

• Leg breaking
• Poisoning
• Blackmail
• Nasty glares
• Enforced volunteering into the Anglo-Zulu War

After Ingrid threatens Derek’s mother with a monocle, Derek is sent off to the Zulu War, thus removing her son’s lead competitor from the contest.

However, when Charlie discovers what has happened, in DISGUST he quits the competition, signs up to the Anglo-Zulu War, and meets Derek out on the front. There, as arrows and spears rain down from all around them, the duo prance about the place in joyous unison.

The end.

A most moving tale indeed, although it is disappointing there aren’t more swear words across the 250 pages. Would it have killed the author to drop a few “bastards” or something? So, one mark off for that, otherwise this is a solid 4/5 from us and well worth a go.

The Long-Forgotten Sequel: The Little Prances

As we closed for press, it came to our attention of a 1985 sequel called The Little Prances. This one is set during the inaugural Eurovision Song Contest on May 24th 1956.

Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III’s great grandson Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery IIII is continuing the family tradition by prancing for a career.

Held in Lugano, Switzerland, his song is titled Prance and involves a variety of piano, French horns, and his own prance solo. The 500 page novel explores the build-up to the event, his extensive training, and his personal disappointments after receiving 0 points for his performance.

To be honest, we though it was crap. Read the first one instead.

The Little Prance: Great Books That Never Were 🕺🩰💃

The Little Prince (Le Petit Prince) is a famous French novella by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. It published in 1943. But did you know The Little Prance also published in 1983, by sheer coincidance (pun intended) as a moving novella about friendship, prancing, and hellish death during wartime.

Today, we’re here to celebrate the oft-forgotten work. It sold poorly upon launch, continues to sell poorly to this day, but for prancing enthusiasts such as ourselves it’s a great undiscovered masterpiece.

The Joys of Letting it All Hang Out in The Little Prance

“Then he pranced. He pranced like he’d never pranced before and, lo, there was much prancing amongst the prance enthusiasts.”

The work was written by noted pseudoscientist Dr. John Doctorson, noted for his extreme views on tennis elbow and athlete’s foot (the latter of which he “cured” through rampant amputations). In 1990, he noted in a rare interview he wrote the book as a:

“Love letter to exaggerated movements.”

The Little Prance is a bit like the film Billy Elliot (2000), but not at all as it’s set in Victorian era England 1879 and follows the exploits of the young man Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III and his life in an upper class English family.

To the DISGUST of his mother Ingrid, Charlie befriends a working-class scumbag from a neighbouring town called Derek. The two bond over the popular pastime of prancing about the place, all whilst the mother rages about it big time:

“I cannot abide how you could besmirch the name of our family by proliferating your being around such a disgraceful specimen! Charles Twistleton Montgomery III!! Are you listening to me?!? Your fatuous friend, Derek… his family do not even own but ONE acre of land! You have brought great shame on our family to associate with such pustules of society!”

Regardless, Charlie disobeys his mother in secret. Spending many hours, days, weeks, and months together, by their teenage years they’re set to compete in The National Prancing Championships and are eager to see each other do well.

Alas, Charlie’s mother Ingrid doesn’t like the possibility of Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III losing to the various lower class plebs in the competition. Thus, she deigns it so to sabotage leading contestants and shatter their dreams through:

• Leg breaking
• Poisoning
• Blackmail
• Nasty glares
• Enforced volunteering into the Anglo-Zulu War

After Ingrid threatens Derek’s mother with a monocle, Derek is sent off to the Zulu War, thus removing her son’s lead competitor from the contest.

However, when Charlie discovers what has happened, in DISGUST he quits the competition, signs up to the Anglo-Zulu War, and meets Derek out on the front. There, as arrows and spears rain down from all around them, the duo prance about the place in joyous unison.

The end.

A most moving tale indeed, although it is disappointing there aren’t more swear words across the 250 pages. Would it have killed the author to drop a few “bastards” or something? So, one mark off for that, otherwise this is a solid 4/5 from us and well worth a go.

The Long-Forgotten Sequel: The Little Prances

As we closed for press, it came to our attention of a 1985 sequel called The Little Prances. This one is set during the inaugural Eurovision Song Contest on May 24th 1956.

Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III’s great grandson Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery IIII is continuing the family tradition by prancing for a career.

Held in Lugano, Switzerland, his song is titled Prance and involves a variety of piano, French horns, and his own prance solo. The 500 page novel explores the build-up to the event, his extensive training, and his personal disappointments after receiving 0 points for his performance.

To be honest, we though it was crap. Read the first one instead.

The Little Prance: Great Books That Never Were 🕺🩰💃

The Little Prince (Le Petit Prince) is a famous French novella by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. It published in 1943. But did you know The Little Prance also published in 1983, by sheer coincidance (pun intended) as a moving novella about friendship, prancing, and hellish death during wartime.

Today, we’re here to celebrate the oft-forgotten work. It sold poorly upon launch, continues to sell poorly to this day, but for prancing enthusiasts such as ourselves it’s a great undiscovered masterpiece.

The Joys of Letting it All Hang Out in The Little Prance

“Then he pranced. He pranced like he’d never pranced before and, lo, there was much prancing amongst the prance enthusiasts.”

The work was written by noted pseudoscientist Dr. John Doctorson, noted for his extreme views on tennis elbow and athlete’s foot (the latter of which he “cured” through rampant amputations). In 1990, he noted in a rare interview he wrote the book as a:

“Love letter to exaggerated movements.”

The Little Prance is a bit like the film Billy Elliot (2000), but not at all as it’s set in Victorian era England 1879 and follows the exploits of the young man Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III and his life in an upper class English family.

To the DISGUST of his mother Ingrid, Charlie befriends a working-class scumbag from a neighbouring town called Derek. The two bond over the popular pastime of prancing about the place, all whilst the mother rages about it big time:

“I cannot abide how you could besmirch the name of our family by proliferating your being around such a disgraceful specimen! Charles Twistleton Montgomery III!! Are you listening to me?!? Your fatuous friend, Derek… his family do not even own but ONE acre of land! You have brought great shame on our family to associate with such pustules of society!”

Regardless, Charlie disobeys his mother in secret. Spending many hours, days, weeks, and months together, by their teenage years they’re set to compete in The National Prancing Championships and are eager to see each other do well.

Alas, Charlie’s mother Ingrid doesn’t like the possibility of Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III losing to the various lower class plebs in the competition. Thus, she deigns it so to sabotage leading contestants and shatter their dreams through:

• Leg breaking
• Poisoning
• Blackmail
• Nasty glares
• Enforced volunteering into the Anglo-Zulu War

After Ingrid threatens Derek’s mother with a monocle, Derek is sent off to the Zulu War, thus removing her son’s lead competitor from the contest.

However, when Charlie discovers what has happened, in DISGUST he quits the competition, signs up to the Anglo-Zulu War, and meets Derek out on the front. There, as arrows and spears rain down from all around them, the duo prance about the place in joyous unison.

The end.

A most moving tale indeed, although it is disappointing there aren’t more swear words across the 250 pages. Would it have killed the author to drop a few “bastards” or something? So, one mark off for that, otherwise this is a solid 4/5 from us and well worth a go.

The Long-Forgotten Sequel: The Little Prances

As we closed for press, it came to our attention of a 1985 sequel called The Little Prances. This one is set during the inaugural Eurovision Song Contest on May 24th 1956.

Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III’s great grandson Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery IIII is continuing the family tradition by prancing for a career.

Held in Lugano, Switzerland, his song is titled Prance and involves a variety of piano, French horns, and his own prance solo. The 500 page novel explores the build-up to the event, his extensive training, and his personal disappointments after receiving 0 points for his performance.

To be honest, we though it was crap. Read the first one instead.

The Little Prance: Great Books That Never Were 🕺🩰💃

The Little Prince (Le Petit Prince) is a famous French novella by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. It published in 1943. But did you know The Little Prance also published in 1983, by sheer coincidance (pun intended) as a moving novella about friendship, prancing, and hellish death during wartime.

Today, we’re here to celebrate the oft-forgotten work. It sold poorly upon launch, continues to sell poorly to this day, but for prancing enthusiasts such as ourselves it’s a great undiscovered masterpiece.

The Joys of Letting it All Hang Out in The Little Prance

“Then he pranced. He pranced like he’d never pranced before and, lo, there was much prancing amongst the prance enthusiasts.”

The work was written by noted pseudoscientist Dr. John Doctorson, noted for his extreme views on tennis elbow and athlete’s foot (the latter of which he “cured” through rampant amputations). In 1990, he noted in a rare interview he wrote the book as a:

“Love letter to exaggerated movements.”

The Little Prance is a bit like the film Billy Elliot (2000), but not at all as it’s set in Victorian era England 1879 and follows the exploits of the young man Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III and his life in an upper class English family.

To the DISGUST of his mother Ingrid, Charlie befriends a working-class scumbag from a neighbouring town called Derek. The two bond over the popular pastime of prancing about the place, all whilst the mother rages about it big time:

“I cannot abide how you could besmirch the name of our family by proliferating your being around such a disgraceful specimen! Charles Twistleton Montgomery III!! Are you listening to me?!? Your fatuous friend, Derek… his family do not even own but ONE acre of land! You have brought great shame on our family to associate with such pustules of society!”

Regardless, Charlie disobeys his mother in secret. Spending many hours, days, weeks, and months together, by their teenage years they’re set to compete in The National Prancing Championships and are eager to see each other do well.

Alas, Charlie’s mother Ingrid doesn’t like the possibility of Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III losing to the various lower class plebs in the competition. Thus, she deigns it so to sabotage leading contestants and shatter their dreams through:

• Leg breaking
• Poisoning
• Blackmail
• Nasty glares
• Enforced volunteering into the Anglo-Zulu War

After Ingrid threatens Derek’s mother with a monocle, Derek is sent off to the Zulu War, thus removing her son’s lead competitor from the contest.

However, when Charlie discovers what has happened, in DISGUST he quits the competition, signs up to the Anglo-Zulu War, and meets Derek out on the front. There, as arrows and spears rain down from all around them, the duo prance about the place in joyous unison.

The end.

A most moving tale indeed, although it is disappointing there aren’t more swear words across the 250 pages. Would it have killed the author to drop a few “bastards” or something? So, one mark off for that, otherwise this is a solid 4/5 from us and well worth a go.

The Long-Forgotten Sequel: The Little Prances

As we closed for press, it came to our attention of a 1985 sequel called The Little Prances. This one is set during the inaugural Eurovision Song Contest on May 24th 1956.

Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III’s great grandson Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery IIII is continuing the family tradition by prancing for a career.

Held in Lugano, Switzerland, his song is titled Prance and involves a variety of piano, French horns, and his own prance solo. The 500 page novel explores the build-up to the event, his extensive training, and his personal disappointments after receiving 0 points for his performance.

To be honest, we though it was crap. Read the first one instead.

The Little Prance: Great Books That Never Were 🕺🩰💃

The Little Prince (Le Petit Prince) is a famous French novella by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. It published in 1943. But did you know The Little Prance also published in 1983, by sheer coincidance (pun intended) as a moving novella about friendship, prancing, and hellish death during wartime.

Today, we’re here to celebrate the oft-forgotten work. It sold poorly upon launch, continues to sell poorly to this day, but for prancing enthusiasts such as ourselves it’s a great undiscovered masterpiece.

The Joys of Letting it All Hang Out in The Little Prance

“Then he pranced. He pranced like he’d never pranced before and, lo, there was much prancing amongst the prance enthusiasts.”

The work was written by noted pseudoscientist Dr. John Doctorson, noted for his extreme views on tennis elbow and athlete’s foot (the latter of which he “cured” through rampant amputations). In 1990, he noted in a rare interview he wrote the book as a:

“Love letter to exaggerated movements.”

The Little Prance is a bit like the film Billy Elliot (2000), but not at all as it’s set in Victorian era England 1879 and follows the exploits of the young man Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III and his life in an upper class English family.

To the DISGUST of his mother Ingrid, Charlie befriends a working-class scumbag from a neighbouring town called Derek. The two bond over the popular pastime of prancing about the place, all whilst the mother rages about it big time:

“I cannot abide how you could besmirch the name of our family by proliferating your being around such a disgraceful specimen! Charles Twistleton Montgomery III!! Are you listening to me?!? Your fatuous friend, Derek… his family do not even own but ONE acre of land! You have brought great shame on our family to associate with such pustules of society!”

Regardless, Charlie disobeys his mother in secret. Spending many hours, days, weeks, and months together, by their teenage years they’re set to compete in The National Prancing Championships and are eager to see each other do well.

Alas, Charlie’s mother Ingrid doesn’t like the possibility of Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III losing to the various lower class plebs in the competition. Thus, she deigns it so to sabotage leading contestants and shatter their dreams through:

• Leg breaking
• Poisoning
• Blackmail
• Nasty glares
• Enforced volunteering into the Anglo-Zulu War

After Ingrid threatens Derek’s mother with a monocle, Derek is sent off to the Zulu War, thus removing her son’s lead competitor from the contest.

However, when Charlie discovers what has happened, in DISGUST he quits the competition, signs up to the Anglo-Zulu War, and meets Derek out on the front. There, as arrows and spears rain down from all around them, the duo prance about the place in joyous unison.

The end.

A most moving tale indeed, although it is disappointing there aren’t more swear words across the 250 pages. Would it have killed the author to drop a few “bastards” or something? So, one mark off for that, otherwise this is a solid 4/5 from us and well worth a go.

The Long-Forgotten Sequel: The Little Prances

As we closed for press, it came to our attention of a 1985 sequel called The Little Prances. This one is set during the inaugural Eurovision Song Contest on May 24th 1956.

Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery III’s great grandson Charles “Charlie” Twistleton Montgomery IIII is continuing the family tradition by prancing for a career.

Held in Lugano, Switzerland, his song is titled Prance and involves a variety of piano, French horns, and his own prance solo. The 500 page novel explores the build-up to the event, his extensive training, and his personal disappointments after receiving 0 points for his performance.

To be honest, we though it was crap. Read the first one instead.

Supermarket Haiku Sweep Friday Special Extravaganza! 🛒🏪✒️

As Rebecca Black so famously sung: “It’s Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday!” And, indeed, therefore we’re covering supermarkets for our first Haiku Friday of 2026.

We all know and love supermarkets! Aldi, Asda, Tesco, M&S, Netto etc. They’re great and have loads of food in them that goes to waste and gets chucked in bins to rot. Thus, let’s get poetic about it.

Supermarket Haiku Special

∞

Getting Lost in the Supermarket

Oh my god where the Hell am I?
It feels like I might well die,
When all I wanted was to buy a big old pork pie.

∞

Consumerist Clubcard Loyalty

Clubcard in my hand,
This microwave pasta cheese meal is only £1 bargain bargain bargain,
Stuffed it down me pants and legged it from store.

∞

Finding the Reduced to Clear Section

Where in the Hell is the reduced to clear section?
This is as infuriating as a rigged election,
Or your bins not being picked up for collection.

∞

Buying From the Reduced to Clear Section

Oh my god I want cheap foodstuff goods,
Oh look there are some super reduced spuds,
Which I’ve now shoplifted with some Suds.

∞

Shopping in the Upper-Class Supermarket

Buying extra expensive goods because I worked hard enough,
No working-class scumbags in here praise God,
Sneer at pathetic cashier on way out.

∞

Shopping in the Low-Budget Supermarket

Got 300 tins of baked beans for 35p,
Gonna cook ’em all up in a load of ghee,
That’s really going to make me need to pee.

∞

Shoplifting at the Supermarket

Using free will to shoplift at the supermarket,
Stuffed 20 bags of Maltesers up me jumper,
Told the staff I’ve got leprosy.

∞

Ramming Customers With a Trolley

Stupid fellow customers get out of my way,
Otherwise I’m going to make you bloody pay,
That’ll really make my day.

∞

Using the Free Supermarket Toilets

Jesus Christ what the hell is that?
And why does it stink so bad?
I should have just gone in my shopping bag.

∞

Using the Self-Checkout Till

Using free will at the self-checkout till,
But pretty sure something’s wrong with my bill,
And the customer service assistant’s name is Phil.

∞

Item Not Scanning at the Self-Checkout Till

I’ve tried scanning this bag of peas 35 times,
I’m trying not to look totally pissed off,
Angry customers waiting are flipping me off.

∞

Being Forced to Make Small Talk With the Cashier

Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep,
“Cold for this time of year, is not it”,
Bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep.

∞

Asking an Employee for Help

“Excuse me, shopkeep, but where are the ice bags?”
Employee does not know,
Complain to the manager.

∞

Customer Blocking the Aisle With Trolley and Kids

The trolley is there and so are the screaming kids,
I wanted to get Skittles this fine day but can’t,
Starve to death.

∞

Screaming Babies in the Supermarket

Why are all these babies screaming in the supermarket?
Shouldn’t they be in baby school?
Or are they here shoplifting?