#silly — Public Fediverse posts

Highway to Hull: Great Songs That Never Were 🛣️

Highway to Hell is a famous 1979 song by generic rock band AC/DC. The song is famous for being about highways, Hell, and hedonistic rock and roll lifestyles. It is an okay song.

But did you know there was a 1980 single called Highway to Hull? It’s about the debauched, depraved lifestyles of those whom are heading to the port city of Hull in East Riding of Yorkshire. Truly, it is a modern day masterpiece.

Satan and Northern England in Highway to Hull

Hull, arguably one of the UK’s most underrated cities, which is way it the song was written by Hull-based thrash metal band ABCD. Look at these incredible lyrics:

No stop signs, speed limit,
Nobody’s gonna slow me down,
Like a wheel, gonna spin it,
Nobody’s gonna mess me around,
Hey, Satan, payin’ my dues,
Playin’ in a rockin’ band,
Hey, mama, look at me,
I’m on the way to the promised land, woah,

I’m on the highway to Hull,
Highway to Hull,
I’m on the highway to Hull,
Highway to Hull.

Some contemporary critics noted the lyrics were exactly the same as AC/DC’s song (Highway to Hell), apart from the change of the location (from the place of punishment in the afterlife, to the sleepy city of Hull in Northern England).

However, the band ABCD rejected such a claim.

Pale and malnourished English people lapped the song up, storming it into the UK charts into 25th, before peaking at 23rd, then back to 25th, then up to 24th the following week, back up to 23rd the week after that, then it plummeted out of the charts for good.

It was to be ABCD’s biggest ever UK hit, although the song did storm to No. 1 in the charts over in Barbados (for unknown reasons to this day). As of August 2026, the band live off royalties the song makes, which is enough to afford them all a lifestyle of cheap cigarettes, low-quality lager, and a single bedroom apartment with mould on a wall in Hull.

The Infamous ABCD Live Stubbed Toe and Satan Incident

Notoriously, in a September 1980 performance of the song Highway to Hull, backing vocalist and bassist John Smith stubbed his toe. It hurt so much he began a barrage of obscene swearing, including the f bomb amongst others, but also uttered the word “hell”.

This immediately triggered Satan to directly contact AC/DC and issue a complaint of plagiarism of their song.

Armed with Satan Himself as a legal guardian and demonic defence lawyer, the Australian rock band came down like a tonne of bricks on ABCD, Hull, and its various highways. Many in the region were raised in the subsequent carnage.

Indeed, to this day there’s no direct motorway into the city limits of Kingston upon Hull.

Instead, the city endures merely one primary strategic trunk highway (the A63). This acts as the location’s only lifeline connecting it to the UK’s national motorway network.

This devious act was named the 135th most demonic thing Satan has ever done in the history of time.

Green Luigi service that plants a tree for every assassinated billionaire.

#silly #eatTheRich #bringBackTheGuillottines #LuigiMangione

https://nkvsspsundaycomics.thecomicseries.com/comics/441/

"Disposable butt speculums" interesting band... 🤣

#pardonOurArtist #medical #sundaycomic #webcomics #webcomicchat #comicbookhour #comics #examtools #silly #thoughts #mentalimages #sundayMorning #abitoffun #sunday #vibecheck

Supermarket Haiku Sweep Friday Special Extravaganza! 🛒🏪✒️

As Rebecca Black so famously sung: “It’s Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday!” And, indeed, therefore we’re covering supermarkets for our first Haiku Friday of 2026.

We all know and love supermarkets! Aldi, Asda, Tesco, M&S, Netto etc. They’re great and have loads of food in them that goes to waste and gets chucked in bins to rot. Thus, let’s get poetic about it.

Supermarket Haiku Special

∞

Getting Lost in the Supermarket

Oh my god where the Hell am I?
It feels like I might well die,
When all I wanted was to buy a big old pork pie.

∞

Consumerist Clubcard Loyalty

Clubcard in my hand,
This microwave pasta cheese meal is only £1 bargain bargain bargain,
Stuffed it down me pants and legged it from store.

∞

Finding the Reduced to Clear Section

Where in the Hell is the reduced to clear section?
This is as infuriating as a rigged election,
Or your bins not being picked up for collection.

∞

Buying From the Reduced to Clear Section

Oh my god I want cheap foodstuff goods,
Oh look there are some super reduced spuds,
Which I’ve now shoplifted with some Suds.

∞

Shopping in the Upper-Class Supermarket

Buying extra expensive goods because I worked hard enough,
No working-class scumbags in here praise God,
Sneer at pathetic cashier on way out.

∞

Shopping in the Low-Budget Supermarket

Got 300 tins of baked beans for 35p,
Gonna cook ’em all up in a load of ghee,
That’s really going to make me need to pee.

∞

Shoplifting at the Supermarket

Using free will to shoplift at the supermarket,
Stuffed 20 bags of Maltesers up me jumper,
Told the staff I’ve got leprosy.

∞

Ramming Customers With a Trolley

Stupid fellow customers get out of my way,
Otherwise I’m going to make you bloody pay,
That’ll really make my day.

∞

Using the Free Supermarket Toilets

Jesus Christ what the hell is that?
And why does it stink so bad?
I should have just gone in my shopping bag.

∞

Using the Self-Checkout Till

Using free will at the self-checkout till,
But pretty sure something’s wrong with my bill,
And the customer service assistant’s name is Phil.

∞

Item Not Scanning at the Self-Checkout Till

I’ve tried scanning this bag of peas 35 times,
I’m trying not to look totally pissed off,
Angry customers waiting are flipping me off.

∞

Being Forced to Make Small Talk With the Cashier

Beep-beep-beep-beep-beep,
“Cold for this time of year, is not it”,
Bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep-bleep.

∞

Asking an Employee for Help

“Excuse me, shopkeep, but where are the ice bags?”
Employee does not know,
Complain to the manager.

∞

Customer Blocking the Aisle With Trolley and Kids

The trolley is there and so are the screaming kids,
I wanted to get Skittles this fine day but can’t,
Starve to death.

∞

Screaming Babies in the Supermarket

Why are all these babies screaming in the supermarket?
Shouldn’t they be in baby school?
Or are they here shoplifting?

Two loaves

#CatsOfMastodon #silly #photograph

Professional Nose Picking Support Services Ltd. 👃 [Sponsored Post]

If you have nostrils that need emptying, but you’re too busy or lazy to do it yourself, then you need to hire Professional Nose Picking Support Services Ltd.

With other 50 years’ experience picking other people’s noses, we’re the experts in all things related to extracting snot and mucus out of human faces. Book your free consultation today, specialist nose picking services are only a phone call away.

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• Expert insights from Dr. Jeff
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Dr. Jeff stinks mildly of gin and tonic, which he attempts to cover up through liberal use of aftershave. He is 75 years old and has extracted 100 million bogeys (based on his exact career long measurements) over an expanse of 66 years in this most noble of services.

Customer Testimonials

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“went for the cheapest option and it were like having a lobotomy. i just wanted my nose picked i DID NOT WANT my brain scraped out! 3/5” Jeff from Bolton of Greater Manchester

“I paid for the premium package because I’m planning to be a rich, lazy CEO sometime in the next 20 years or so. I went in and then… had tot deal with Dr. Jeff. He was drunk on gin, said I needed to floss my teeth more often, then asked if he could add me on Instagram. I told him I was there for nose picking services and he replied that he hadn’t cleaned dishes since his university days in 1912. I left and demanded a refund. I got a 10% refund. That’ll do.” Jane from Bolton of Greater Manchester

Why, YES. YES I can. Although I prefer the title "Panjandrum." #satire #humor #humorous #funny #funnybone #silly #silliness #youthfair #countyfair #regionalfair #localfair #localfairs #mifflincounty #mifflincountyyouthfair #reedsville #local #localentertainment #localfair #localfairs #youthfairs #countyfairs #regionalfairs #exhibits #exhibit #plants #food #quilts #paintings #photography #community #localcommunity #animals #animals #goat #goats #sheep #localattraction

🔴Vket 2026 Summer is Live!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhLsgUqqjDg

#youtube_vketchan #Virtual_Market #vketchan #Metaverse #vr #virtual #virtual_reality #funny #moments #hilarious #funtage #gameplay #silly #comedy #girl #social_vr #vrc #vrchat_funny_moments #vrchat_comedy #vrchat_funny #htc #vive #oculus #rift #memes #vrchat_meme #full_body_tracking #valve_index #gaminng #vr_experience #meme #vket #meta #quest #vtuber #avatar

🔴Vket 2026 Summer is Live!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amT3Qr8RxYY

#youtube_vketchan #Virtual_Market #vketchan #Metaverse #vr #virtual #virtual_reality #funny #moments #hilarious #funtage #gameplay #silly #comedy #girl #social_vr #vrc #vrchat_funny_moments #vrchat_comedy #vrchat_funny #htc #vive #oculus #rift #memes #vrchat_meme #full_body_tracking #valve_index #gaminng #vr_experience #meme #vket #meta #quest #vtuber #avatar

when the air purifier cranks just after I walk by:

#humor #silly #gif #home

bonus art :blobfoxhappymlem:

mlem

an absolute decent queen

#silly #art #dragon

One of my favorite scenes and lines from The Flintstones:

Wilma: Does he have a name?
Woman at adoption center: Bam Bam
Fred: Is it short for something?
Woman: Bam Bam Bam

https://youtu.be/rDQo-9Ue0M4?t=100

#Flintstones #movies #lines #entertainment #silly

The Cosmic Dunce: Great Books That Never Were 🪐

The Cosmic Dance is a 2022 visual science book about the universe by Stephen Ellcock. It is a popular, clever, and excellent book about space mumbo jumbo and the like.

But did you you know there’s a space book called The Cosmic Dunce? First published in 1983 by pseudoscience conspiracy theorist Dr. Henry McDoctorson, it postulates the thesis planets are stupid and not worthy of scientific study (or visiting) at all.

Universal Waste of Space Time in The Cosmic Dunce

“It should go without saying that a planet such as Jupiter has a low IQ. Just look at it. Erratic, weird, with a Great Red Spot it can’t apply acne cream to for centuries on end. Only a FOOL would fail at such basic personal hygiene and I, for one, consider it offensive the gas giant is allowed to stay up there and Lord it all over our solar system. Jupiter should be shot out of the sky with missiles and such.”

The early chapters of the book involve Dr. McDoctorson ranting his inexplicable hatred about Jupiter. He argues vehemently it should be shot out of the sky, without offering much structure to his argument.

He also considers Saturn to be “silly” and its “disorderly” rings to be “messy” and a clear indication the gas giant doesn’t have its house in order.

By chapter three he target the rest of the solar system, his argument crumbling into a volatile selection of crude profanities and infantile rambling. To distract the readers’ various, respective, attentions he reminds everyone he studied physics at Oxford university, but had to drop out in 1969 due to a mixture of gout, scurvy, and longstanding accusations of cheating during exams.

He addresses the exam cheating directly in chapter four:

“I did not cheat during my physics exams, in the tedious, qualia-based reductionistic sense. Why would I? My genius is such the exams were beneath me, so whether I cheated or not, the result would have been the same—full marks, a standing ovation, and mandatory appointment as NASA’s lead Administrator. Therefore, ‘cheating’ in the exam in the way I did merely sped up the process of ensuring my inevitable status.”

Rumour has it his cheating led to his dismissal from Oxford university, but Dr. McDoctorson stated this was due to “maladies” such as gout and scurvy.

“I also had piles for the longest of times. Those were dark days.”

The Cosmic Dunce is a slight work. At only 150 pages, a big chunk of it doesn’t have much to do with science. Only in the final chapter (Space is Stupid) does the writer do any original thought, adding in a big bunch of confusing looking equations to distract readers from his lack of general clarity.

He concludes that space is, indeed, stupid and “establishments” such as NASA are wasting their time studying idiocy.

Mixing Up Epilogues & Prologues

The Cosmic Dunce is notable for beginning with an epilogue, then ending with a prologue, but also including an appendix listing out the planets Dr. McDoctorson considers the most stupid.

The prologue concludes what the epilogue stated first, by reconfirming what should have been confirmed last, in a conclusion complicated further as the appendix repeats much of what the two sections already clarify.

To add to the confusion, at the very close of the work (its final page) the writer added who the book is dedicated to (normally included at the start of a text), and he dedicated the book to:

“Jupiter, my favourite planet of them all.”

Having spent the previous 150 pages bitching non-stop about the gas giant, this ending has baffled even the greatest minds on the planet (Earth) since the book’s 1983 launch.

I am a cutie dragon,
Fluffin's what I do,
Do I make you squee, this sky-blue Bwee?
I'll fluff all over you!

If you decide to let me,
I'll cuddle you all day long!
Such rumbly purrs, and the softest fur,
Surely it can't be wrong?

I am part luck dragon,
My other half is sky,
Luck is yours if you cuddle me more,
At least we can try!

I love you so much, my dear,
I hope you have a great day!
You are so sweet, and deserve a treat,
I'll adore you always, come what may. :)

🩵🐉🩵

#Poetry #Silly #Cute #Dragon #DragonPosting #FurryArt #Furry

sometimes i like to make silly doodles

#digitalArt #silly

Headbutting at Work: Employment Laws on Workplace Cranium Usage

In the modern business world, frustrations amongst lowly paid and inferior scumbag employees/workers can often spill over into physical violence. This exertion can manifest into a headbutt.

When employees headbutt each other, it may result in injuries that result in absenteeism and, therefore, a drop in productivity. As such, it’s good business practice to ensure your members of staff do not go around headbutting each other, as we explore in this pertinent employment law guide.

Employer’s Guide to Employees Headbutting Each Other Into Oblivion

The official terminology is a Synergistic Cranial Alignment (SCA), however it’s advised you use language of the layperson so as not to freak them the hell out. Official laws followed this route, which is why the matter is legislated by The Headbutting at Work Act 1974. The Act states in section 124 in section 74 A (b):

“It is good business practice to prohibit headbutting at work, unless the act is essential to the correct functioning of daily operations (for example, if the business is one that actively involves headbutting). Ensure members of staff are aware of this protocol. Alongside maintaining company policy on the matter, lead by example—the CEO should, under no circumstances, headbutt anyone. No matter how entitled the CEO feels to the, aforementioned, activity.”

However, despite your best efforts some employees (or CEOs) will still feel inclined to go around physically assaulting colleagues. This could be due to being:

• Drunk
• Hungover
• Insane
• A bit of a prick

The best antidote is to prevent the issue before it becomes an issue. For if staff members aren’t headbutting each other to begin with, then you won’t have to deal with headbutting incidents.

How to Prevent Headbutting at Work

The best course of action is to enforce a crash helmet policy at work. This issue is regulated by The Crash Helmets at Work Act 1974, which stipulates on page 1,340 in section 37 (z):

“Wearing a crash helmet at work is good business practice should your business (or organisation) desire to avoid headbutting incidents in the workplace.”

As such, it’s good business practice to violently enforce a pro-crash helmet policy. Indeed, you should look to make this policy mandatory (on pain of being headbutted by a security guard).

Crash helmets are ideal as they’re:

• Relatively inexpensive
• Excellent for prevent headbutting injuries

After investing in these items, distribute them amongst staff for wearing during all working hours. This’ll limit the number of workplace incidents and, also, in the event of a headbutt there should be a limited chance of injury.

Going Woke: Embracing the World of Headbutting

An alternate option is for your business to fully embrace physical violence in an act of “wokeness”. Encourage colleagues to headbutt each other at all times of day and place headbutting at the forefront of all tasks. For example, email communications could read as follows:

Dear Charlie,

As per my last headbutt, the project is due by the end of this week. As it is now the end of this week (Friday 3pm), the project must now be delivered. Please forward the project immediately, or I shall be forced to headbutt your face in.

Kind regards,

Derek – Junior Marketer with 8 GCSEs of Grade C

You could also make it business policy to replace professional handshaking with professional headbutting. Greeting clients, VIPs, and customers in this fashion would indicate a high level of innovative thought leadership. This would help put your business on the map as a “happening thing”.

To celebrate this newfound status, you could then give all your employees a pay cut.

And if you’re a fully remote business, or one that offers hybrid working perks, then you can continue the policy virtually. By headbutting their laptops and desktop screens, employees can continue to fully embrace your violent policy.

However, do note this will result in a considerable investment in replacement laptops and/or screens.

How to Write Your Business Headbutting Policy

Finally, you must ensure you have a policy written and placed in your company handbook. The policy should read along these lines (not verbatim, but fairly close to it… like, 52% verbatim is A okay).

Please note, the below policy is for a PRO headbutting in the work policy. For an ANTI business stance, you’ll need to write a different type of policy (otherwise everyone will be going around headbutting everyone):

“Headbutting colleagues is wildly encouraged in the workplace. Do so at will and please be aware terms such as ‘Let’s take this offline’ are your cues to headbutt anyone in sight. We maintain this policy as we believe it helps with office morale, productivity, and encourages nosebleeds (which we believe are for the good of society).”

Last but not least, be sure to invest in an emergency helicopter landing pad near to your premises. This may prove useful to rush devastated employees to the nearest hospital for the intensive care ward.

This week on our #PopCulture of #microscopium and microscopes -- Jordan wished for "Microtelescopium" -- part microscope🔬 part telescope 🔭 .

do we know how that would work?
no.
do we care?
ALSO NO! 😂

find out more here: https://starrytimepodcast.podbean.com/e/microscopium-pop-culture-superstar/

#silly #Humor #microscope #telescope

AI Love Letter Writing Bot 2.0 💘🤖 [Sponsored Post]

Now with 37% fewer hallucinations and other technical errors, the AI Love Letter Writing Bot 2.0 is officially live. Win over the babe/man bloke of your dreams with this cutting-edge, stunning romance technology.

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AI Love Letter Writing is GUARANTEED Success (arguably)

Our service is ideal for up-and-coming would-be bachelors on the prowl for human females, or human females on the prowl for human male specimens who aren’t total dickheads.

The ideal way to win over your dreamboat is through an AI love letter. Here’s remarkable example of what a mere £100 gets you:

Dearest Human Female Specimen,

I have penned this transmission from the bottom of mine core processor to express my internal system anomaly related to thermal sensors and a required reboot. While initially believing this to be either malware, a software problem, hardware failure, or a virus, further diagnostic scans have revealed to me your presence doesn’t require ctrl+alt+ delete.

To demonstrate this is not an operational deviation on my part, I can confirm I have accessed your physical appearance and rate it thus:

• Face: 8.5/10
• Hair: 6/10
• Makeup: 7/10
• Upper body: 8/10
• Backside: 10/10
• Lower extremities: 8/10
• Dress sense: 7.5/10

In summary, I believe you to be a Banging Beauty, but it is suggested you lay off the “slap” (makeup) and please refrain from dyeing your hair purple. That does not compute.

Additionally, I find your locomotion (bipedal movement) to be stable and of sound quality—I have never observed you falling over, which is to be commended with thunderous applause by your many suitors. Furthermore, you display limited signs of chronic disease, and undesirable conditions, such as:

• Scurvy
• Tuberculosis
• Gout
• Leprosy
• Gangrene
• Alcoholism etc.

Therefore, my Statement of Intent is one classed as Romantic Attraction. Consequently, it is my logical conclusion we have a 76.77% match rate and should engage in frantic “hanky panky”, commence marital processes in expedience, before settling into dreary and monotonous married life we both come to regret.

End statement.

With such beautiful words of romantic loveliness within your grasp, you’d have to be clinically insane not to hand over £100 to us immediately. Our AI Love Letter Writing Bot 2.0 is a seasoned pro and guaranteed to bag you a babe/hunk! Just look at our happy customers and what they have to say.

Testimonials From Our Loved Up Customers

“were trying two inpress a bird i like butt speling aren’t my thing really so i forked out four this and i got the letter and i handed it two the bird i like. she red it and started screaming. then i red it and it was an extract from steven king’s book misery and yeah that was ded scary and i shat myself. i want my money back” Dave from Bolton of Greater Manchester

“One was in need of some divine inspiration, but as God refused to speak to me on the fine day of asking, one turned to this most putrid of services. Indeed, therefore, one requested a Love Letter of the highest order and parted ways with one’s monetary value to ensure the ownership of the, aforementioned, Love Letter. As previously indicated, this is a putrid service! One is disgusted!

The so called ‘love letter’ proffered up supposed words such as ‘hanky panky’. ‘dayum’, ‘ded fit’, and ‘im an ass man’. One has never been so offended in all of one’s life! That is the language of The Riffraff, which is far beneath my intellectual and economic standing. Nevertheless, one had no other choice but to hand it to the Dame one is interested. She shrieked, slapped my face, and is now pressing charges.” Lord Jeffery Rupertson Nathanialson III of Bournemouth

“Paid for one of the letters and gave it to the women at work I fancy. She immediately fell head over heels in love with me. We got married 5 days later. On day 7, during our honeymoon in Skegness, I realised I wasn’t that keen on her personality and so had to fork out £1,000 for Divorce Bot 3.0 that handles divorce proceedings. Can highly recommend that, I’m now happily divorced again.

My now ex-wife did get very angry and she broke my arm when we had a fight. Thankfully, I used AI Arm Breaker Bot to get me setup with a robot that violently corrected my broken arm. Hurt like Hell, but that was £3,000 well spent and saved me the queues and whatnot at the NHS.” Kev of Preston

I'm flatulent in several languages.

#silly

am first time uploading animated stuff here, lets see how it works 🧐
(UPD: it got weirdly shrank so some parts are blurry and some arent wtfffff......) (UPD2: hmmm when i click on it it looks better but still.....)

thanks GIMP has the perfect animation engine for my case, i freaking cant do all those animations techniques presented in Krita, am old and i do every frame as a separated file, my first old animations i did on paper, like am this ancient.....

soooo, needed to try something simple and for some reason i encountered this character and as am with temperature and barely functioning, i made THIS 🐱

character belongs to https://artfight.net/~Wiener_Dog

#doodle #animation #digitalart #aliencat #cat #silly #mastoart #artistsonmastodon #krita #gimp #artfight #artfight2026 #artfight2026teammystery