#relationship-advice — Public Fediverse posts

Psychologist shares the 1 change couples who secretly resent each other must make

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://www.upworthy.com/psychologist-shares-one-change-couples-who-secretly-resent-each-other-must-make/

Psychologist shares the 1 change couples who secretly resent each other must make

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://www.upworthy.com/psychologist-shares-one-change-couples-who-secretly-resent-each-other-must-make/

Psychologist shares the 1 change couples who secretly resent each other must make

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://www.upworthy.com/psychologist-shares-one-change-couples-who-secretly-resent-each-other-must-make/

Psychologist shares the 1 change couples who secretly resent each other must make

https://web.brid.gy/r/https://www.upworthy.com/psychologist-shares-one-change-couples-who-secretly-resent-each-other-must-make/

https://www.europesays.com/ie/668382/ ‘I’m happily married with three young children #advice #BreakingNews #BreakingNews #Éire #FeaturedNews #FeaturedNews #Headlines #IE #Ireland #LatestNews #LatestNews #Loneliness #MainNews #MainNews #News #Parenting #RelationshipAdvice #TellMeAboutIt #TopStories #TopStories #work

My Bluesky mutuals are lovely, don't get me wrong, but I need more Fedi friends!! It's been a really long time since I got back to the Fediverse, so now that I'm properly settled into Wafrn/Wolp.chat, I figure it's time for a new #introduction!

If you enjoy any of the stuff I tagged (or just think I'm cool for other reasons), please give me a follow! We won't bite unless you ask nicely~~

My Bluesky mutuals are lovely, don't get me wrong, but I need more Fedi friends!! It's been a really long time since I got back to the Fediverse, so now that I'm properly settled into Wafrn/Wolp.chat, I figure it's time for a new #introduction!

If you enjoy any of the stuff I tagged (or just think I'm cool for other reasons), please give me a follow! We won't bite unless you ask nicely~~

My Bluesky mutuals are lovely, don't get me wrong, but I need more Fedi friends!! It's been a really long time since I got back to the Fediverse, so now that I'm properly settled into Wafrn/Wolp.chat, I figure it's time for a new #introduction!

If you enjoy any of the stuff I tagged (or just think I'm cool for other reasons), please give me a follow! We won't bite unless you ask nicely~~

My Bluesky mutuals are lovely, don't get me wrong, but I need more Fedi friends!! It's been a really long time since I got back to the Fediverse, so now that I'm properly settled into Wafrn/Wolp.chat, I figure it's time for a new #introduction!

If you enjoy any of the stuff I tagged (or just think I'm cool for other reasons), please give me a follow! We won't bite unless you ask nicely~~

My Bluesky mutuals are lovely, don't get me wrong, but I need more Fedi friends!! It's been a really long time since I got back to the Fediverse, so now that I'm properly settled into Wafrn/Wolp.chat, I figure it's time for a new #introduction!

If you enjoy any of the stuff I tagged (or just think I'm cool for other reasons), please give me a follow! We won't bite unless you ask nicely~~

My Bluesky mutuals are lovely, don't get me wrong, but I need more Fedi friends!! So, here's…

An Introduction to Bryn Stellaris ✶

As you may have guessed, I'm Bryn [she/they/us], the full and complete Self that runs this adorable, soft vessel of blood and autism. I/we are a red fox goddess†, a median system of three aspects who each have their own domain and goals. However, we primarily act in tandem when we're not hashing something out psychologically or engaging an aspect-specific interest.

Overall, we love discussing our plane of existence at large. We see it as a system of smaller interconnected parts that, in abstract, take similar forms to the basic laws and shapes of the universe itself. It is fun to unfold fhe the levels of abstraction, built out like a fractal from the core truths of everything around us.

Likes

• philosophy
• self-divinity
• our wonderful and amazing partners & friends
• kissing pretty queer people~

Dislikes

• fascism
• polarized thinking
• eggs, onions, most cheeses

Our Aspects

Vivix ✲ he/it

Hello! I'm Vivix, the logical Mind of our system who balances our eternal Curiosity with a healthy dose of Skepticism and analysis. I was once the "mask" of the system before being shattered and reborn years later as a cyborg fox with mastery over the arcane (which I guess is just called STEM in this universe).

Appearance

Red fox base, left side as expected with orange-red fur, a bright green left eye, and a clawed but highly articulate hand. On my right side of my face, however, is a glowing phosphor-green right eye inlaid on bright, metallic plates of cobalt blue extending down the entire right half of my body. On that arm is a mechanical paw that can morph into anything from a Metroid/Rockman-style plasma gun, to little bits and tools like Inspector Gadget.

Likes

• #motorsport (particularly #Formula1)
• mechanical, electronic, & computer #engineering
• medicine & #science at large
• formal logic and discrete math

Dislikes

• being forced to keep up appearances/"saving face"
• harm caused by illogical & irrational behavior
• willful ignorance

Nova ❉ she/they

Hiiii~♪ You're reading words from Nova, the Soul of the Stellaris system, managing the balance between the Compassion we have for others and the Dignity we hold for ourself. I'm a socialite, #musician, and writer with a knack for drawing people in and helping them feel safe, considered, and understood. My ability to connect with others on a deep, fundamental level is borne of a natural affinity for the occult…which this world just calls psychology, sociology, and the humanities.

Appearance

Angelic, elven, ethereal. I exude grace, elegance, warmth, and comfort in every step and every word. It could be said I'm the most "normal" looking of us, with icy teal-blue eyes, a detailed and expressive fur pattern, and a look of "go ahead, give me a try" constantly plastered on my pretty face.

Thanks to @fenn.ink (on Bluesky), a picture of an earlier form of me does exist here:

![media-1]

Likes

• #singing and playing keyboard, drums, and bass guitar
• interpersonal #relationships, offering #RelationshipAdvice, #psychology and sociology in general
• deep, layered #lyrics & other writing
• getting cute people flustered and worked up

Dislikes

• ignoring nuance
• needless cruelty
• denying forgiveness
• emotional & psychological abuse

Vela ✼ she/her

What's up, fuckers‽ I'm Vela, the Spirit of Stellaris, the reason we have both Courage driving us to action and Restraint telling us "actually, no, that's not worth it." While I've spent a lot of our system's history in repression, I've cast off much of what has held me back and thrown myself back into life, kicking and screaming. Nowadays, I get to enjoy hitting people with swords, playing #ProjectPlus, and being very, very horny and perverted with people I trust. >:3c

Appearance

So, I go tits out whenever possible and generally don't have clothes on. Thanks to being a thoughtform I can hide my junk whenever I want, but even then being tits-out is a strong preference. Otherwise, at least I look damn fuckin' good in a tank top and boxer briefs or maybe yoga shorts.

My eyes are a bright, vivid purple and my fur is darkened to a silver-grey from years of demonic influence and repression. I often have a slightly antsy or nervous aura, but these days it's usually overshadowed by a look of determination and passion.

Likes

• martial arts & swordplay (though I'm a relative beginner to both)
• Super Smash Bros, particularly Project+ & Ultimate (as a party game)
• intense, passionate sex & kink

Dislikes

• being humiliated or put on the spot
• being hit on before a connection has already been established elsewise
• cowardice in the face of injustice or mistreatment
• shame & self-suppression

Our Six Core Virtues

✶ In all things, a balanced approach of Stable Growth is the key to a healthy Psyche. Practice Growth by extending outward toward new knowledge, people, and experiences; practice Stability by staying true to your knowledge, identity, skills, and needs. Growth is more specifically embodied on each level of our psyche by the virtues of Curiosity, Compassion, and Courage; Restraint is likewise maintained through Skepticism, Dignity, and Restraint.

✲ Practice Growth in Curiosity; keep your mind open to the world around you and how it works. Practice stability in Skepticism; stay true to what you know and understand, and understand the source and intent behind new information before accepting it as fact.

❉ Practice Growth in Compassion; extend help, guidance, and care to the people around you, and act with the wellbeing of others in mind. Practice Stability in Dignity; establish, communicate, and enforce your needs and boundaries, and hold others accountable when they treat you with cruelty or disrespect.

✼ Practice Growth in Courage; stand up for your beliefs, don't shy away from risk, and don't allow fear or shame to hold you back from doing what feels good, right, or fun (as long as it's not harmful to others). Practice stability in Restraint; calculate and measure risks and challenges against their possible costs, and don't allow yourself be pushed into acting against your principles or ideals.

But above all else, just do your best to be kind. It's really not rocket science. <3

Gallery

![media-2]
![media-3]
![media-4]

†We make no claim to any objective divinity or authority over others, we merely recognize Our Own authority within Our Own life. While the paradigm by which we operate has been helpful to others as a guiding light, we have no desire to proselytize or collect followers; any devotion offered to Us or the core tenets by which we work must be entirely voluntary.

My Bluesky mutuals are lovely, don't get me wrong, but I need more Fedi friends!! So, here's…

An Introduction to Bryn Stellaris ✶

As you may have guessed, I'm Bryn [she/they/us], the full and complete Self that runs this adorable, soft vessel of blood and autism. I/we are a red fox goddess†, a median system of three aspects who each have their own domain and goals. However, we primarily act in tandem when we're not hashing something out psychologically or engaging an aspect-specific interest.

Overall, we love discussing our plane of existence at large. We see it as a system of smaller interconnected parts that, in abstract, take similar forms to the basic laws and shapes of the universe itself. It is fun to unfold fhe the levels of abstraction, built out like a fractal from the core truths of everything around us.

Likes

• philosophy
• self-divinity
• our wonderful and amazing partners & friends
• kissing pretty queer people~

Dislikes

• fascism
• polarized thinking
• eggs, onions, most cheeses

Our Aspects

Vivix ✲ he/it

Hello! I'm Vivix, the logical Mind of our system who balances our eternal Curiosity with a healthy dose of Skepticism and analysis. I was once the "mask" of the system before being shattered and reborn years later as a cyborg fox with mastery over the arcane (which I guess is just called STEM in this universe).

Appearance

Red fox base, left side as expected with orange-red fur, a bright green left eye, and a clawed but highly articulate hand. On my right side of my face, however, is a glowing phosphor-green right eye inlaid on bright, metallic plates of cobalt blue extending down the entire right half of my body. On that arm is a mechanical paw that can morph into anything from a Metroid/Rockman-style plasma gun, to little bits and tools like Inspector Gadget.

Likes

• #motorsport (particularly #Formula1)
• mechanical, electronic, & computer #engineering
• medicine & #science at large
• formal logic and discrete math

Dislikes

• being forced to keep up appearances/"saving face"
• harm caused by illogical & irrational behavior
• willful ignorance

Nova ❉ she/they

Hiiii~♪ You're reading words from Nova, the Soul of the Stellaris system, managing the balance between the Compassion we have for others and the Dignity we hold for ourself. I'm a socialite, #musician, and writer with a knack for drawing people in and helping them feel safe, considered, and understood. My ability to connect with others on a deep, fundamental level is borne of a natural affinity for the occult…which this world just calls psychology, sociology, and the humanities.

Appearance

Angelic, elven, ethereal. I exude grace, elegance, warmth, and comfort in every step and every word. It could be said I'm the most "normal" looking of us, with icy teal-blue eyes, a detailed and expressive fur pattern, and a look of "go ahead, give me a try" constantly plastered on my pretty face.

Thanks to @fenn.ink (on Bluesky), a picture of an earlier form of me does exist here:

![media-1]

Likes

• #singing and playing keyboard, drums, and bass guitar
• interpersonal #relationships, offering #RelationshipAdvice, #psychology and sociology in general
• deep, layered #lyrics & other writing
• getting cute people flustered and worked up

Dislikes

• ignoring nuance
• needless cruelty
• denying forgiveness
• emotional & psychological abuse

Vela ✼ she/her

What's up, fuckers‽ I'm Vela, the Spirit of Stellaris, the reason we have both Courage driving us to action and Restraint telling us "actually, no, that's not worth it." While I've spent a lot of our system's history in repression, I've cast off much of what has held me back and thrown myself back into life, kicking and screaming. Nowadays, I get to enjoy hitting people with swords, playing #ProjectPlus, and being very, very horny and perverted with people I trust. >:3c

Appearance

So, I go tits out whenever possible and generally don't have clothes on. Thanks to being a thoughtform I can hide my junk whenever I want, but even then being tits-out is a strong preference. Otherwise, at least I look damn fuckin' good in a tank top and boxer briefs or maybe yoga shorts.

My eyes are a bright, vivid purple and my fur is darkened to a silver-grey from years of demonic influence and repression. I often have a slightly antsy or nervous aura, but these days it's usually overshadowed by a look of determination and passion.

Likes

• martial arts & swordplay (though I'm a relative beginner to both)
• Super Smash Bros, particularly Project+ & Ultimate (as a party game)
• intense, passionate sex & kink

Dislikes

• being humiliated or put on the spot
• being hit on before a connection has already been established elsewise
• cowardice in the face of injustice or mistreatment
• shame & self-suppression

Our Six Core Virtues

✶ In all things, a balanced approach of Stable Growth is the key to a healthy Psyche. Practice Growth by extending outward toward new knowledge, people, and experiences; practice Stability by staying true to your knowledge, identity, skills, and needs. Growth is more specifically embodied on each level of our psyche by the virtues of Curiosity, Compassion, and Courage; Restraint is likewise maintained through Skepticism, Dignity, and Restraint.

✲ Practice Growth in Curiosity; keep your mind open to the world around you and how it works. Practice stability in Skepticism; stay true to what you know and understand, and understand the source and intent behind new information before accepting it as fact.

❉ Practice Growth in Compassion; extend help, guidance, and care to the people around you, and act with the wellbeing of others in mind. Practice Stability in Dignity; establish, communicate, and enforce your needs and boundaries, and hold others accountable when they treat you with cruelty or disrespect.

✼ Practice Growth in Courage; stand up for your beliefs, don't shy away from risk, and don't allow fear or shame to hold you back from doing what feels good, right, or fun (as long as it's not harmful to others). Practice stability in Restraint; calculate and measure risks and challenges against their possible costs, and don't allow yourself be pushed into acting against your principles or ideals.

But above all else, just do your best to be kind. It's really not rocket science. <3

Gallery

![media-2]
![media-3]
![media-4]

†We make no claim to any objective divinity or authority over others, we merely recognize Our Own authority within Our Own life. While the paradigm by which we operate has been helpful to others as a guiding light, we have no desire to proselytize or collect followers; any devotion offered to Us or the core tenets by which we work must be entirely voluntary.

About Bryn Stellaris ✶

Hi there! I'm Bryn [she/they/us], the full and complete Self that runs this adorable, soft vessel of flesh, blood, & autism! The following is a summary of pretty much everything I'd want a stranger on the internet to know about me. Sections are sorted by how likely the average person is to keep reading, so just go until you get bored. '^₋^

Follows, reposts, and other interaction are all HIGHLY encouraged! Talk to me!!! :D

The Stellaris System

I—or rather, We embody Stellaris, a Vulpine Triple Goddess† of Joy & Love. We are a median system composed of three red fox aspects, each with our own domain and goals:

• ✲ Vivix, the Mind
• ❉ Nova, the Soul
• ✻ Vela, the Spirit

We typically act (and speak) in tandem as Bryn unless we're hashing something out psychologically or engaging an aspect-specific interest. People who've known us for a while can usually tell when one of us is more present than the others, but in text we'll typically use a Unicode asterisk (✲/❉/✻) to mark when we're speaking alone.

I'm an idemromantic relationship anarchist, so I don't go into new relationships with any expectations except to have fun and be good to each other. While I do make a distinction between partners and friends, it's semantic and descriptive rather than prescriptive; I label any given relationship however makes the most sense for how I interact with that person and what commitments we've already made to each other.

On the whole, I love discussing philosophy and the ins-and-outs of our plane of existence at large. I default to systems thinking, seeing everything as a network of smaller interconnected parts that, in abstract, take on similar shapes to the most basic laws and structures of our world. It's always fun to unfold the levels of abstraction and unveil the conceptual fractals formed by this universe's core objective truths.

Likes

• philosophy & metaphysics
• self-divinity
• ethical nonmonogamy (#ENM) & #RelationshipAnarchy
• our amazing partners & friends
• kissing cute queer people!!!

Dislikes

• fascism
• polarized thinking
• eggs, onions, most cheeses

Our Aspects

Vivix ✲ Sorcerer (Imperial) | she/it

Hello! I'm Vivix, the logical Mind of our system who balances our eternal Curiosity with a healthy dose of Skepticism and analysis. I was once the "mask" of the system before being shattered and reborn years later as a cyborg fox with mastery over the arcane (which I guess is just called STEM in this universe).

Appearance

My left side is what you'd expect of a red fox, with orange-red fur, a bright green left eye, and a clawed but highly articulate hand. On my right, however, is a glowing phosphor-green eye from which similar green traces sprawl across bright cobalt-blue plating that extends down my entire right half.

My right arm ends at the upper wrist, the remaining length replaced with a hardlight extension that can act as anything from a paw to a Metroid/Rockman-style plasma beam to little bits and tools like Inspector Gadget.

Likes

• mechanical, electronic, & computer #engineering
• #Linux & #FOSS
• #motorsport (particularly #Formula1)
• formal logic & discrete math

Dislikes

• keeping up appearances/"saving face"
• harmfully illogical or irrational behavior
• ambiguous or conflicting data or signals
• willful ignorance

Nova ❉ Bard (Enigma) | she/they

Hiiii~♪ You're reading words from Nova, the empathetic Soul of the Stellaris system, managing a careful balance between the Compassion we have for others and the Dignity we hold for ourself. I'm a socialite, #musician, and writer with a knack for drawing people in and helping them feel safe, considered, and understood. My ability to connect with others on a deep, fundamental level is borne of a natural intuition for the occult (i.e. psychology, sociology, theology, and the humanities). I feel that my musical and theatrical talents are the clearest expressions of this skill…so I really need to get back to making things to share! ;-;

Appearance

Angelic, elven, ethereal. I try to exude grace, elegance, warmth, and comfort in every step and every word. (I do not claim to be 100% successful at this.) It could be said I'm the most "normal" looking of us, with icy teal-blue eyes, a detailed and expressive fur pattern, and a look of "go ahead, give me a try" constantly plastered on my pretty little face. <3

Thanks to @fenn.ink (on Bluesky), a picture of me exists here:

![media-1]

Likes

• singing (#vocalist); playing keyboard, drums, & bass guitar
• interpersonal #relationships, #RelationshipAdvice, #MentalHealth, & #psychology
• deep, layered #lyrics & other writing
• flustering cuties like you, probably~

Dislikes

• ignoring nuance
• needless cruelty
• denying forgiveness
• emotional & psychological manipulation

Vela ✻ Swashbuckler (Wit) | she/her

What's up, fuckers‽ I'm Vela, the willful Spirit of Stellaris, the reason we have both Courage driving us to action and Restraint telling us "actually, no, that's not worth it." While I've spent a lot of our system's history in repression, I've cast off much of what has held me back and thrown myself back into life, kicking and screaming. Nowadays, I get to enjoy hitting people with swords, playing #ProjectPlus, and being very horny and perverted with those I trust. >:3c

Appearance

So, I go tits-out whenever possible and generally don't want to have clothes on. Being a thoughtform means I can hide my junk whenever I want, and even then being topless is a strong preference. Otherwise, at least I look good in boxer briefs, yoga shorts, or leggings, along with a tank top or maybe a zip-up hoodie if it's cold out.

My eyes are a bright, vivid purple, and my fur is darkened to a silver-grey from years of demonic influence and repression. I've often had a slightly antsy or nervous aura, but these days it's usually overshadowed by a look of determination, passion, and if you're lucky, desire~

Likes

• martial arts & swordplay (though I'm a relative beginner to both)
• Super Smash Bros, esp. Project+ & Ultimate (as a party game)
• intense, passionate queer sex & kink

Dislikes

• being humiliated or put on the spot
• cowardice in the face of cruelty
• being hit on by strangers
• shame & self-suppression

Gallery

![media-2]
![media-3]
![media-4]

What We Stand For

Stable Growth

✶ In all things, a balanced approach of Stable Growth is the key to a healthy Psyche. We practice virtues of Growth when we direct our time and energy outward toward new knowledge, people, and experiences; we practice Stability when we pull time and energy inward for ourselves, advocating for our needs, skills, and identities.

The Six Virtues

Both Growth and Stability are managed in different ways by each domain of the Psyche. For the Mind, Soul, & Spirit, Growth is attained through Curiosity, Compassion, & Courage respectively, while Stability is upheld through Skepticism, Dignity, & Restraint.

Curiosity & Skepticism

✲ In matters of the Mind, practice Growth in Curiosity; embrace new knowledge, keep your mind open to the world around you and how it works, and gracefully accept when your own knowledge is outdated, incomplete, or incorrect. Practice Stability in Skepticism; stay true to what you know and understand, and scrutinize the sources and intentions behind new information before accepting it as fact.

Compassion & Dignity

❉ In matters of the Soul, practice Growth in Compassion; extend help, guidance, and care to the people around you, and act with the wellbeing of others in mind. Practice Stability in Dignity; establish, communicate, and enforce your needs and boundaries, hold yourself and others accountable when they act unfairly, & recognize and embrace your flaws and shortcomings to live shamelessly as your fullest, most genuine (and imperfect) self.

Courage & Restraint

✻ In matters of the Spirit, practice Growth in Courage; stand up for your beliefs and values, don't shy away from risk, and don't allow fear or shame to hold you back from doing what feels good, right, or fun (as long as it's not harmful to others). Practice Stability in Restraint; calculate and measure risks and challenges against their possible costs, don't recklessly endanger yourself or others, and don't allow yourself be pushed into acting against your principles or ideals.

Dialectic & Stellarism

Note that each domain holds a pair of superficially opposed Virtues that are, in reality, interdependent and mutually inclusive. Each pair of these Six Virtues must be held in balance, as either to the exception of the other will very quickly become a vice. (All things in moderation, after all.)

When making an important decision or resolving conflict, we do our best to take each Virtue both in isolation and as an antithesis to its opposite. This makes it easier to use dialectic to make sure an idea is logical, considerate, and beneficial overall.

All of this said, the most important thing is to be kind and do right by people, especially yourself. It's really not rocket science.

My Bluesky mutuals are lovely, don't get me wrong, but I need more Fedi friends!! So, here's…

An Introduction to Bryn Stellaris ✶

As you may have guessed, I'm Bryn [she/they/us], the full and complete Self that runs this adorable, soft vessel of blood and autism. I/we are a red fox goddess†, a median system of three aspects who each have their own domain and goals. However, we primarily act in tandem when we're not hashing something out psychologically or engaging an aspect-specific interest.

Overall, we love discussing our plane of existence at large. We see it as a system of smaller interconnected parts that, in abstract, take similar forms to the basic laws and shapes of the universe itself. It is fun to unfold fhe the levels of abstraction, built out like a fractal from the core truths of everything around us.

Likes

• philosophy
• self-divinity
• our wonderful and amazing partners & friends
• kissing pretty queer people~

Dislikes

• fascism
• polarized thinking
• eggs, onions, most cheeses

Our Aspects

Vivix ✲ he/it

Hello! I'm Vivix, the logical Mind of our system who balances our eternal Curiosity with a healthy dose of Skepticism and analysis. I was once the "mask" of the system before being shattered and reborn years later as a cyborg fox with mastery over the arcane (which I guess is just called STEM in this universe).

Appearance

Red fox base, left side as expected with orange-red fur, a bright green left eye, and a clawed but highly articulate hand. On my right side of my face, however, is a glowing phosphor-green right eye inlaid on bright, metallic plates of cobalt blue extending down the entire right half of my body. On that arm is a mechanical paw that can morph into anything from a Metroid/Rockman-style plasma gun, to little bits and tools like Inspector Gadget.

Likes

• #motorsport (particularly #Formula1)
• mechanical, electronic, & computer #engineering
• medicine & #science at large
• formal logic and discrete math

Dislikes

• being forced to keep up appearances/"saving face"
• harm caused by illogical & irrational behavior
• willful ignorance

Nova ❉ she/they

Hiiii~♪ You're reading words from Nova, the Soul of the Stellaris system, managing the balance between the Compassion we have for others and the Dignity we hold for ourself. I'm a socialite, #musician, and writer with a knack for drawing people in and helping them feel safe, considered, and understood. My ability to connect with others on a deep, fundamental level is borne of a natural affinity for the occult…which this world just calls psychology, sociology, and the humanities.

Appearance

Angelic, elven, ethereal. I exude grace, elegance, warmth, and comfort in every step and every word. It could be said I'm the most "normal" looking of us, with icy teal-blue eyes, a detailed and expressive fur pattern, and a look of "go ahead, give me a try" constantly plastered on my pretty face.

Thanks to @fenn.ink (on Bluesky), a picture of an earlier form of me does exist here:

![media-1]

Likes

• #singing and playing keyboard, drums, and bass guitar
• interpersonal #relationships, offering #RelationshipAdvice, #psychology and sociology in general
• deep, layered #lyrics & other writing
• getting cute people flustered and worked up

Dislikes

• ignoring nuance
• needless cruelty
• denying forgiveness
• emotional & psychological abuse

Vela ✼ she/her

What's up, fuckers‽ I'm Vela, the Spirit of Stellaris, the reason we have both Courage driving us to action and Restraint telling us "actually, no, that's not worth it." While I've spent a lot of our system's history in repression, I've cast off much of what has held me back and thrown myself back into life, kicking and screaming. Nowadays, I get to enjoy hitting people with swords, playing #ProjectPlus, and being very, very horny and perverted with people I trust. >:3c

Appearance

So, I go tits out whenever possible and generally don't have clothes on. Thanks to being a thoughtform I can hide my junk whenever I want, but even then being tits-out is a strong preference. Otherwise, at least I look damn fuckin' good in a tank top and boxer briefs or maybe yoga shorts.

My eyes are a bright, vivid purple and my fur is darkened to a silver-grey from years of demonic influence and repression. I often have a slightly antsy or nervous aura, but these days it's usually overshadowed by a look of determination and passion.

Likes

• martial arts & swordplay (though I'm a relative beginner to both)
• Super Smash Bros, particularly Project+ & Ultimate (as a party game)
• intense, passionate sex & kink

Dislikes

• being humiliated or put on the spot
• being hit on before a connection has already been established elsewise
• cowardice in the face of injustice or mistreatment
• shame & self-suppression

Our Six Core Virtues

✶ In all things, a balanced approach of Stable Growth is the key to a healthy Psyche. Practice Growth by extending outward toward new knowledge, people, and experiences; practice Stability by staying true to your knowledge, identity, skills, and needs. Growth is more specifically embodied on each level of our psyche by the virtues of Curiosity, Compassion, and Courage; Restraint is likewise maintained through Skepticism, Dignity, and Restraint.

✲ Practice Growth in Curiosity; keep your mind open to the world around you and how it works. Practice stability in Skepticism; stay true to what you know and understand, and understand the source and intent behind new information before accepting it as fact.

❉ Practice Growth in Compassion; extend help, guidance, and care to the people around you, and act with the wellbeing of others in mind. Practice Stability in Dignity; establish, communicate, and enforce your needs and boundaries, and hold others accountable when they treat you with cruelty or disrespect.

✼ Practice Growth in Courage; stand up for your beliefs, don't shy away from risk, and don't allow fear or shame to hold you back from doing what feels good, right, or fun (as long as it's not harmful to others). Practice stability in Restraint; calculate and measure risks and challenges against their possible costs, and don't allow yourself be pushed into acting against your principles or ideals.

But above all else, just do your best to be kind. It's really not rocket science. <3

Gallery

![media-2]
![media-3]
![media-4]

†We make no claim to any objective divinity or authority over others, we merely recognize Our Own authority within Our Own life. While the paradigm by which we operate has been helpful to others as a guiding light, we have no desire to proselytize or collect followers; any devotion offered to Us or the core tenets by which we work must be entirely voluntary.

✮ On Different Frequencies ✮

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✮ On Different Frequencies ✮

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✮ On Different Frequencies ✮

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When they go quiet, it's not always because they don't care...

Sometimes it's fear. Sometimes hesitation. Sometimes they're still figuring out their own feelings.

The silence still hurts, but the reasons behind it are more complicated than we think.

What's your experience with this? Have you ever been on either side?

#RelationshipAdvice #MentalHealth

When they go quiet, it's not always because they don't care...

Sometimes it's fear. Sometimes hesitation. Sometimes they're still figuring out their own feelings.

The silence still hurts, but the reasons behind it are more complicated than we think.

What's your experience with this? Have you ever been on either side?

#RelationshipAdvice #MentalHealth

When they go quiet, it's not always because they don't care...

Sometimes it's fear. Sometimes hesitation. Sometimes they're still figuring out their own feelings.

The silence still hurts, but the reasons behind it are more complicated than we think.

What's your experience with this? Have you ever been on either side?

#RelationshipAdvice #MentalHealth

When they go quiet, it's not always because they don't care...

Sometimes it's fear. Sometimes hesitation. Sometimes they're still figuring out their own feelings.

The silence still hurts, but the reasons behind it are more complicated than we think.

What's your experience with this? Have you ever been on either side?

#RelationshipAdvice #MentalHealth

When they go quiet, it's not always because they don't care...

Sometimes it's fear. Sometimes hesitation. Sometimes they're still figuring out their own feelings.

The silence still hurts, but the reasons behind it are more complicated than we think.

What's your experience with this? Have you ever been on either side?

#RelationshipAdvice #MentalHealth

The hardest part of modern dating isn't meeting people.

It's the middle part — when you've met someone, but don't know where it's going. The waiting. The guessing. Reading signals that might not mean anything.

We need better tools for this in-between space. Not more apps. More ways to understand what's actually happening in the connections we already have.

What do you think?

https://bondlight.ai/en/reading?q=future&utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=modern-dating&utm_content=mastodon_20260829_future_01

#RelationshipAdvice #DatingAdvice #ModernDating

Why do they go quiet when things are going well?

Just when you start to feel comfortable — the messages slow down, the energy shifts. You start questioning everything.

But often, the pull-away has nothing to do with you. It's their own relationship with intimacy — the closer it gets, the louder the alarm bells ring.

Have you been on either side of this?

#RelationshipAdvice #ModernDating

You wait. And wait. And eventually, you stop waiting.

Not because you stopped caring. But because the waiting became heavier than the silence.

That moment when you finally put the phone down for good — it doesn't feel like giving up. It feels like coming back to yourself.

What was the moment that made you stop waiting?

#RelationshipAdvice #ModernDating #EmotionalWellbeing

The Algorithm Is Quietly Wrecking Perfectly Good Relationships.
https://wp.me/p84YjG-bcR
#relationshipadvice #socialmedia #comparisonculture #datingadvice #modernrelationships #zsoltzsemba

The Algorithm Is Quietly Wrecking Perfectly Good Relationships.
https://wp.me/p84YjG-bcR
#relationshipadvice #socialmedia #comparisonculture #datingadvice #modernrelationships #zsoltzsemba

The Algorithm Is Quietly Wrecking Perfectly Good Relationships.
https://wp.me/p84YjG-bcR
#relationshipadvice #socialmedia #comparisonculture #datingadvice #modernrelationships #zsoltzsemba

The Algorithm Is Quietly Wrecking Perfectly Good Relationships.
https://wp.me/p84YjG-bcR
#relationshipadvice #socialmedia #comparisonculture #datingadvice #modernrelationships #zsoltzsemba

The Algorithm Is Quietly Wrecking Perfectly Good Relationships.
https://wp.me/p84YjG-bcR
#relationshipadvice #socialmedia #comparisonculture #datingadvice #modernrelationships #zsoltzsemba

@stefan did you know I’ve explained to my partner how TCP works and now we use it during conversations? I’ll ask them something and they’ll repeat it back to me and I’ll say “that’s right” or vice versa. And now our relationship misunderstandings have decreased dramatically! GO TCP!!

#relationshipadvice #tcp #humor

@stefan did you know I’ve explained to my partner how TCP works and now we use it during conversations? I’ll ask them something and they’ll repeat it back to me and I’ll say “that’s right” or vice versa. And now our relationship misunderstandings have decreased dramatically! GO TCP!!

#relationshipadvice #tcp #humor

@stefan did you know I’ve explained to my partner how TCP works and now we use it during conversations? I’ll ask them something and they’ll repeat it back to me and I’ll say “that’s right” or vice versa. And now our relationship misunderstandings have decreased dramatically! GO TCP!!

#relationshipadvice #tcp #humor

@stefan did you know I’ve explained to my partner how TCP works and now we use it during conversations? I’ll ask them something and they’ll repeat it back to me and I’ll say “that’s right” or vice versa. And now our relationship misunderstandings have decreased dramatically! GO TCP!!

#relationshipadvice #tcp #humor

@stefan did you know I’ve explained to my partner how TCP works and now we use it during conversations? I’ll ask them something and they’ll repeat it back to me and I’ll say “that’s right” or vice versa. And now our relationship misunderstandings have decreased dramatically! GO TCP!!

#relationshipadvice #tcp #humor

Did you know attachment style shapes roughly 70% of how we handle conflict in relationships?

Research:
• ~25% anxious — seek reassurance
• ~25% avoidant — tend to withdraw
• ~50% secure — balance closeness & independence

Half of us are managing patterns learned long before this relationship. Not a character flaw — your nervous system remembering what once kept you safe.

Which pattern do you recognise?

#AttachmentTheory #RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalIntelligence

Social Media Gives Women Unlimited Validation!
https://wp.me/p84YjG-bcI
#datingadvice #relationshipadvice #socialmediavalidation #beauty #lust #datingadviceformen #WOMAN #modernrelationships #zsoltzsemba

Not every silence means the same thing.

Sometimes it's a pause — they're processing.
Sometimes it's a pull — they need distance.
Sometimes it's both at once.

The hardest part isn't figuring it out.
It's sitting with the not-knowing.

What kind of silence are you in right now?

#RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalWellbeing #ModernDating

That moment when you pick up your phone to text them, then put it back down.

Not because you don't want to reach out — but because you've done it before and felt the silence after. So now you're caught between wanting connection and protecting yourself from the same hurt.

This push and pull is one of the most exhausting parts of modern dating.

What's helped you find your balance?

#ModernDating #RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalWellbeing

Emotional Stability Is Control, Not a Cold Shoulder
https://wp.me/p84YjG-bcj
#emotionalstability #selfcontrol #mindset #relationshipadvice #businessmindset #zsoltzsemba

There's a space in modern dating nobody talks about.

Not before you've met. Not after it's over.

The between.

You've met someone. Feel something. But don't know where it's going.

You check your phone. Read between the lines. Wonder if you're overthinking — or not thinking enough.

That middle space is the hardest part of dating right now.

Where are you in that in-between?

#RelationshipAdvice #ModernDating #DatingAdvice

"Why did they pull away when everything felt good?"

This might be the most common relationship question.

And the answer is rarely simple. Sometimes it's timing. Sometimes it's fear. Sometimes it's neither of you.

What's the most confusing pull-away you've experienced?

#ModernDating #RelationshipAdvice

Relationship status check:

Are you in a:
• Situationship that's going nowhere
• No-contact period that's testing you
• Slow fade you're hoping is temporary
• Pull-away that might be temporary

There's no wrong answer. But understanding where you are helps you decide what to do next.

Share if comfortable. No judgment.

#DatingAdvice #RelationshipAdvice

When You Meet Someone, You Meet Their Representative First
https://wp.me/p84YjG-baK
#selfimprovement #datingadvice #mindset #authenticity #relationshipadvice #zsoltzsemba

Where is My Wife? Great Books That Never Were 🥧

Where is Life is a 1944 thing by smarty pants physicist genius Erwin Schrödinger. It’s a solid book we’d give it 3/5 on Goodreads and then get criticised in replies for being stupid (or something).

Anyway, we much prefer the deeply autobiographical book Where is My Wife? by Derek Smith from Preston of Lancashire. It’s a story of how he and his missus went to the Fishergate Shopping Centre in Preston, got lost, and spent an infuriating 17 minutes trying to find each other again.

Getting Lost at the Mall in Where is My Wife?

In Schrödinger’s similarly titled work, he explained how organisms differ from inanimate objects, during which he opines over the “paragon of orderliness” and what this may mean for life on Earth.

Derek Smith, meanwhile, opines over his lost wife after he headed to Greggs for a pork pie and bottle of coke. In the moving introduction, written in 1999 (one year after the publication of the work, two years after the specific incident in question), he states:

“Went to Greggs. Standard. Done that a lot in my life, born and bred in Lancashire, but never in my former ’80s mullet did I think I’d lose me bleedin’ wife at the Fishergate Shopping Centre, home to some of the best deals in all of Lancashire. Except on that dark, dark day. Bad times was had.”

The book is some 400 pages of rambling about this misadventure. Smith makes it very clear it was not his fault and, indeed, could never be his fault as his sense of direction is superb:

“Me sense of direction is superb. Second to none. So I don’t see how I could get lost in Fishergate, it’s not like it’s the bleedin’ Trafford Centre now, is it? I call foul play!”

That’s in the opening chapter. Subsequent chapters go on to explain the myriad reasons why none of this could ever be Derek’s fault. He blames:

• Communism
• Immigrants
• Socialism
• Marxism
• The lack of available maps in the shopping centre
• The lack of a customer service desk in the shopping centre
• The lack of a personal assistant
• His wife’s stupidity
• His wife’s lack of direction
• His wife
• The wife

The final 100 pages of the work are an angry rant about his wife’s “dismal” sense of direction. The book abruptly ends with a torrent of swear words and typos, suggesting Mr. Smith was drunk on beer as he concluding what he dubs his “masterpiece”.

The Rebuttal: The Wife Responds With a Podcast Series and Film

Derek Smith’s wife, Diane, responded to her husbands book belatedly. In 2020, she began a podcast series called Why My Ex-Husband is a Tosser (the couple divorced in 2018). Consisting of 10 minute episodes, Diane lists out everything she detests about her husband.

In 2022, the podcast was adapted into a film of the same name starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as Derek and Davina McCall as Diane. The low-budget production was a box office failure and amassed only £32,000 at the global box office. Schwarzenegger called it the “greatest embarrassment” of his career.

Diane Smith later confirmed she regretted the podcast series, film, and had avoided the Fishergate Shopping Centre for over 25 years since the incident. She now only shops in Lidl.

Where is My Wife? Great Books That Never Were 🥧

Where is Life is a 1944 thing by smarty pants physicist genius Erwin Schrödinger. It’s a solid book we’d give it 3/5 on Goodreads and then get criticised in replies for being stupid (or something).

Anyway, we much prefer the deeply autobiographical book Where is My Wife? by Derek Smith from Preston of Lancashire. It’s a story of how he and his missus went to the Fishergate Shopping Centre in Preston, got lost, and spent an infuriating 17 minutes trying to find each other again.

Getting Lost at the Mall in Where is My Wife?

In Schrödinger’s similarly titled work, he explained how organisms differ from inanimate objects, during which he opines over the “paragon of orderliness” and what this may mean for life on Earth.

Derek Smith, meanwhile, opines over his lost wife after he headed to Greggs for a pork pie and bottle of coke. In the moving introduction, written in 1999 (one year after the publication of the work, two years after the specific incident in question), he states:

“Went to Greggs. Standard. Done that a lot in my life, born and bred in Lancashire, but never in my former ’80s mullet did I think I’d lose me bleedin’ wife at the Fishergate Shopping Centre, home to some of the best deals in all of Lancashire. Except on that dark, dark day. Bad times was had.”

The book is some 400 pages of rambling about this misadventure. Smith makes it very clear it was not his fault and, indeed, could never be his fault as his sense of direction is superb:

“Me sense of direction is superb. Second to none. So I don’t see how I could get lost in Fishergate, it’s not like it’s the bleedin’ Trafford Centre now, is it? I call foul play!”

That’s in the opening chapter. Subsequent chapters go on to explain the myriad reasons why none of this could ever be Derek’s fault. He blames:

• Communism
• Immigrants
• Socialism
• Marxism
• The lack of available maps in the shopping centre
• The lack of a customer service desk in the shopping centre
• The lack of a personal assistant
• His wife’s stupidity
• His wife’s lack of direction
• His wife
• The wife

The final 100 pages of the work are an angry rant about his wife’s “dismal” sense of direction. The book abruptly ends with a torrent of swear words and typos, suggesting Mr. Smith was drunk on beer as he concluding what he dubs his “masterpiece”.

The Rebuttal: The Wife Responds With a Podcast Series and Film

Derek Smith’s wife, Diane, responded to her husbands book belatedly. In 2020, she began a podcast series called Why My Ex-Husband is a Tosser (the couple divorced in 2018). Consisting of 10 minute episodes, Diane lists out everything she detests about her husband.

In 2022, the podcast was adapted into a film of the same name starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as Derek and Davina McCall as Diane. The low-budget production was a box office failure and amassed only £32,000 at the global box office. Schwarzenegger called it the “greatest embarrassment” of his career.

Diane Smith later confirmed she regretted the podcast series, film, and had avoided the Fishergate Shopping Centre for over 25 years since the incident. She now only shops in Lidl.

Where is My Wife? Great Books That Never Were 🥧

Where is Life is a 1944 thing by smarty pants physicist genius Erwin Schrödinger. It’s a solid book we’d give it 3/5 on Goodreads and then get criticised in replies for being stupid (or something).

Anyway, we much prefer the deeply autobiographical book Where is My Wife? by Derek Smith from Preston of Lancashire. It’s a story of how he and his missus went to the Fishergate Shopping Centre in Preston, got lost, and spent an infuriating 17 minutes trying to find each other again.

Getting Lost at the Mall in Where is My Wife?

In Schrödinger’s similarly titled work, he explained how organisms differ from inanimate objects, during which he opines over the “paragon of orderliness” and what this may mean for life on Earth.

Derek Smith, meanwhile, opines over his lost wife after he headed to Greggs for a pork pie and bottle of coke. In the moving introduction, written in 1999 (one year after the publication of the work, two years after the specific incident in question), he states:

“Went to Greggs. Standard. Done that a lot in my life, born and bred in Lancashire, but never in my former ’80s mullet did I think I’d lose me bleedin’ wife at the Fishergate Shopping Centre, home to some of the best deals in all of Lancashire. Except on that dark, dark day. Bad times was had.”

The book is some 400 pages of rambling about this misadventure. Smith makes it very clear it was not his fault and, indeed, could never be his fault as his sense of direction is superb:

“Me sense of direction is superb. Second to none. So I don’t see how I could get lost in Fishergate, it’s not like it’s the bleedin’ Trafford Centre now, is it? I call foul play!”

That’s in the opening chapter. Subsequent chapters go on to explain the myriad reasons why none of this could ever be Derek’s fault. He blames:

• Communism
• Immigrants
• Socialism
• Marxism
• The lack of available maps in the shopping centre
• The lack of a customer service desk in the shopping centre
• The lack of a personal assistant
• His wife’s stupidity
• His wife’s lack of direction
• His wife
• The wife

The final 100 pages of the work are an angry rant about his wife’s “dismal” sense of direction. The book abruptly ends with a torrent of swear words and typos, suggesting Mr. Smith was drunk on beer as he concluding what he dubs his “masterpiece”.

The Rebuttal: The Wife Responds With a Podcast Series and Film

Derek Smith’s wife, Diane, responded to her husbands book belatedly. In 2020, she began a podcast series called Why My Ex-Husband is a Tosser (the couple divorced in 2018). Consisting of 10 minute episodes, Diane lists out everything she detests about her husband.

In 2022, the podcast was adapted into a film of the same name starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as Derek and Davina McCall as Diane. The low-budget production was a box office failure and amassed only £32,000 at the global box office. Schwarzenegger called it the “greatest embarrassment” of his career.

Diane Smith later confirmed she regretted the podcast series, film, and had avoided the Fishergate Shopping Centre for over 25 years since the incident. She now only shops in Lidl.

Why do girls become overly possessive after entering a relationship? Understand the science behind it

Girls being over-possessive in relationships is not just their nature, but also due to love hormones (oxytocin), bad experiences in the past and fear of losing.

#RelationshipScience #Psychology #RelationshipAdvice #HumanBehavior #LoveAndRelationships

Why do girls become overly possessive after entering a relationship? Understand the science behind it

Girls being over-possessive in relationships is not just their nature, but also due to love hormones (oxytocin), bad experiences in the past and fear of losing.

#RelationshipScience #Psychology #RelationshipAdvice #HumanBehavior #LoveAndRelationships

Why do girls become overly possessive after entering a relationship? Understand the science behind it

Girls being over-possessive in relationships is not just their nature, but also due to love hormones (oxytocin), bad experiences in the past and fear of losing.

#RelationshipScience #Psychology #RelationshipAdvice #HumanBehavior #LoveAndRelationships

Why do girls become overly possessive after entering a relationship? Understand the science behind it

Girls being over-possessive in relationships is not just their nature, but also due to love hormones (oxytocin), bad experiences in the past and fear of losing.

#RelationshipScience #Psychology #RelationshipAdvice #HumanBehavior #LoveAndRelationships

Why do girls become overly possessive after entering a relationship? Understand the science behind it

Girls being over-possessive in relationships is not just their nature, but also due to love hormones (oxytocin), bad experiences in the past and fear of losing.

#RelationshipScience #Psychology #RelationshipAdvice #HumanBehavior #LoveAndRelationships

"Why did they pull away when everything felt good?"

This might be the most common relationship question.

And the answer is rarely simple. Sometimes it's timing. Sometimes it's fear. Sometimes it's neither of you.

What's the most confusing pull-away you've experienced?

#ModernDating #RelationshipAdvice

https://bondlight.ai/en/reading?q=feelings&utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=feelings&utm_content=mastodon_20260817_feelings_01

https://www.europesays.com/ie/639702/ My boyfriend has addiction issues but I feel too guilty to leave him – The Irish Times #Addiction #advice #Alcohol #Éire #ForYou #Health #hse #IE #Ireland #magazine #MentalHealth #RelationshipAdvice #YourStories

That feeling when they say "I need space" but you don't know what that actually means.

Space to think? Space to leave? Space to come back?

The uncertainty is worse than the answer.

What did "space" end up meaning in your experience?

#RelationshipAdvice #MentalHealth

That feeling when they say "I need space" but you don't know what that actually means.

Space to think? Space to leave? Space to come back?

The uncertainty is worse than the answer.

What did "space" end up meaning in your experience?

#RelationshipAdvice #MentalHealth

That feeling when they say "I need space" but you don't know what that actually means.

Space to think? Space to leave? Space to come back?

The uncertainty is worse than the answer.

What did "space" end up meaning in your experience?

#RelationshipAdvice #MentalHealth

That feeling when they say "I need space" but you don't know what that actually means.

Space to think? Space to leave? Space to come back?

The uncertainty is worse than the answer.

What did "space" end up meaning in your experience?

#RelationshipAdvice #MentalHealth

That feeling when they say "I need space" but you don't know what that actually means.

Space to think? Space to leave? Space to come back?

The uncertainty is worse than the answer.

What did "space" end up meaning in your experience?

#RelationshipAdvice #MentalHealth

Real Love Fears Hurting You. Selfish Love Fears Losing You.
https://wp.me/p84YjG-b3Z
#Love #RelationshipTruths #HealthyLove #LoveAndFear #RelationshipAdvice #SelfishLove #pain #CouplesGoals #KnowTheDifference #MensMindset #LoveLanguage #Relationships #zsoltzsemba #cinta