#relationship-advice — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #relationship-advice, aggregated by home.social.
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Psychologist shares the 1 change couples who secretly resent each other must make
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My Bluesky mutuals are lovely, don't get me wrong, but I need more Fedi friends!! It's been a really long time since I got back to the Fediverse, so now that I'm properly settled into Wafrn/Wolp.chat, I figure it's time for a new #introduction!
If you enjoy any of the stuff I tagged (or just think I'm cool for other reasons), please give me a follow! We won't bite unless you ask nicely~~
RE: https://bark.wolp.chat/fediverse/post/080395f2-0702-47bc-8021-bb7b4a230967
#motorsport #Formula1 #engineering #science #musician #singing #relationships #RelationshipAdvice #RelationshipAnarchy #ENM #psychology #lyrics #ProjectPlus #introduction -
My Bluesky mutuals are lovely, don't get me wrong, but I need more Fedi friends!! So, here's…
An Introduction to Bryn Stellaris ✶
As you may have guessed, I'm Bryn [she/they/us], the full and complete Self that runs this adorable, soft vessel of blood and autism. I/we are a red fox goddess†, a median system of three aspects who each have their own domain and goals. However, we primarily act in tandem when we're not hashing something out psychologically or engaging an aspect-specific interest.
Overall, we love discussing our plane of existence at large. We see it as a system of smaller interconnected parts that, in abstract, take similar forms to the basic laws and shapes of the universe itself. It is fun to unfold fhe the levels of abstraction, built out like a fractal from the core truths of everything around us.
Likes
- philosophy
- self-divinity
- our wonderful and amazing partners & friends
- kissing pretty queer people~
Dislikes
- fascism
- polarized thinking
- eggs, onions, most cheeses
Our Aspects
Vivix ✲ he/it
Hello! I'm Vivix, the logical Mind of our system who balances our eternal Curiosity with a healthy dose of Skepticism and analysis. I was once the "mask" of the system before being shattered and reborn years later as a cyborg fox with mastery over the arcane (which I guess is just called STEM in this universe).
Appearance
Red fox base, left side as expected with orange-red fur, a bright green left eye, and a clawed but highly articulate hand. On my right side of my face, however, is a glowing phosphor-green right eye inlaid on bright, metallic plates of cobalt blue extending down the entire right half of my body. On that arm is a mechanical paw that can morph into anything from a Metroid/Rockman-style plasma gun, to little bits and tools like Inspector Gadget.
Likes
- #motorsport (particularly #Formula1)
- mechanical, electronic, & computer #engineering
- medicine & #science at large
- formal logic and discrete math
Dislikes
- being forced to keep up appearances/"saving face"
- harm caused by illogical & irrational behavior
- willful ignorance
Nova ❉ she/they
Hiiii~♪ You're reading words from Nova, the Soul of the Stellaris system, managing the balance between the Compassion we have for others and the Dignity we hold for ourself. I'm a socialite, #musician, and writer with a knack for drawing people in and helping them feel safe, considered, and understood. My ability to connect with others on a deep, fundamental level is borne of a natural affinity for the occult…which this world just calls psychology, sociology, and the humanities.
Appearance
Angelic, elven, ethereal. I exude grace, elegance, warmth, and comfort in every step and every word. It could be said I'm the most "normal" looking of us, with icy teal-blue eyes, a detailed and expressive fur pattern, and a look of "go ahead, give me a try" constantly plastered on my pretty face.
Thanks to @fenn.ink (on Bluesky), a picture of an earlier form of me does exist here:
![media-1]
Likes
- #singing and playing keyboard, drums, and bass guitar
- interpersonal #relationships, offering #RelationshipAdvice, #psychology and sociology in general
- deep, layered #lyrics & other writing
- getting cute people flustered and worked up
Dislikes
- ignoring nuance
- needless cruelty
- denying forgiveness
- emotional & psychological abuse
Vela ✼ she/her
What's up, fuckers‽ I'm Vela, the Spirit of Stellaris, the reason we have both Courage driving us to action and Restraint telling us "actually, no, that's not worth it." While I've spent a lot of our system's history in repression, I've cast off much of what has held me back and thrown myself back into life, kicking and screaming. Nowadays, I get to enjoy hitting people with swords, playing #ProjectPlus, and being very, very horny and perverted with people I trust. >:3c
Appearance
So, I go tits out whenever possible and generally don't have clothes on. Thanks to being a thoughtform I can hide my junk whenever I want, but even then being tits-out is a strong preference. Otherwise, at least I look damn fuckin' good in a tank top and boxer briefs or maybe yoga shorts.
My eyes are a bright, vivid purple and my fur is darkened to a silver-grey from years of demonic influence and repression. I often have a slightly antsy or nervous aura, but these days it's usually overshadowed by a look of determination and passion.
Likes
- martial arts & swordplay (though I'm a relative beginner to both)
- Super Smash Bros, particularly Project+ & Ultimate (as a party game)
- intense, passionate sex & kink
Dislikes
- being humiliated or put on the spot
- being hit on before a connection has already been established elsewise
- cowardice in the face of injustice or mistreatment
- shame & self-suppression
Our Six Core Virtues
✶ In all things, a balanced approach of Stable Growth is the key to a healthy Psyche. Practice Growth by extending outward toward new knowledge, people, and experiences; practice Stability by staying true to your knowledge, identity, skills, and needs. Growth is more specifically embodied on each level of our psyche by the virtues of Curiosity, Compassion, and Courage; Restraint is likewise maintained through Skepticism, Dignity, and Restraint.
✲ Practice Growth in Curiosity; keep your mind open to the world around you and how it works. Practice stability in Skepticism; stay true to what you know and understand, and understand the source and intent behind new information before accepting it as fact.
❉ Practice Growth in Compassion; extend help, guidance, and care to the people around you, and act with the wellbeing of others in mind. Practice Stability in Dignity; establish, communicate, and enforce your needs and boundaries, and hold others accountable when they treat you with cruelty or disrespect.
✼ Practice Growth in Courage; stand up for your beliefs, don't shy away from risk, and don't allow fear or shame to hold you back from doing what feels good, right, or fun (as long as it's not harmful to others). Practice stability in Restraint; calculate and measure risks and challenges against their possible costs, and don't allow yourself be pushed into acting against your principles or ideals.
But above all else, just do your best to be kind. It's really not rocket science. <3
Gallery
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![media-3]
![media-4]†We make no claim to any objective divinity or authority over others, we merely recognize Our Own authority within Our Own life. While the paradigm by which we operate has been helpful to others as a guiding light, we have no desire to proselytize or collect followers; any devotion offered to Us or the core tenets by which we work must be entirely voluntary.
#motorsport #Formula1 #engineering #science #musician #singing #relationships #RelationshipAdvice #psychology #lyrics #ProjectPlus -
When they go quiet, it's not always because they don't care...
Sometimes it's fear. Sometimes hesitation. Sometimes they're still figuring out their own feelings.
The silence still hurts, but the reasons behind it are more complicated than we think.
What's your experience with this? Have you ever been on either side?
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The Algorithm Is Quietly Wrecking Perfectly Good Relationships.
https://wp.me/p84YjG-bcR
#relationshipadvice #socialmedia #comparisonculture #datingadvice #modernrelationships #zsoltzsemba -
@stefan did you know I’ve explained to my partner how TCP works and now we use it during conversations? I’ll ask them something and they’ll repeat it back to me and I’ll say “that’s right” or vice versa. And now our relationship misunderstandings have decreased dramatically! GO TCP!!
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Where is My Wife? Great Books That Never Were 🥧
Where is Life is a 1944 thing by smarty pants physicist genius Erwin Schrödinger. It’s a solid book we’d give it 3/5 on Goodreads and then get criticised in replies for being stupid (or something).
Anyway, we much prefer the deeply autobiographical book Where is My Wife? by Derek Smith from Preston of Lancashire. It’s a story of how he and his missus went to the Fishergate Shopping Centre in Preston, got lost, and spent an infuriating 17 minutes trying to find each other again.
Getting Lost at the Mall in Where is My Wife?
In Schrödinger’s similarly titled work, he explained how organisms differ from inanimate objects, during which he opines over the “paragon of orderliness” and what this may mean for life on Earth.
Derek Smith, meanwhile, opines over his lost wife after he headed to Greggs for a pork pie and bottle of coke. In the moving introduction, written in 1999 (one year after the publication of the work, two years after the specific incident in question), he states:
“Went to Greggs. Standard. Done that a lot in my life, born and bred in Lancashire, but never in my former ’80s mullet did I think I’d lose me bleedin’ wife at the Fishergate Shopping Centre, home to some of the best deals in all of Lancashire. Except on that dark, dark day. Bad times was had.”
The book is some 400 pages of rambling about this misadventure. Smith makes it very clear it was not his fault and, indeed, could never be his fault as his sense of direction is superb:
“Me sense of direction is superb. Second to none. So I don’t see how I could get lost in Fishergate, it’s not like it’s the bleedin’ Trafford Centre now, is it? I call foul play!”
That’s in the opening chapter. Subsequent chapters go on to explain the myriad reasons why none of this could ever be Derek’s fault. He blames:
- Communism
- Immigrants
- Socialism
- Marxism
- The lack of available maps in the shopping centre
- The lack of a customer service desk in the shopping centre
- The lack of a personal assistant
- His wife’s stupidity
- His wife’s lack of direction
- His wife
- The wife
The final 100 pages of the work are an angry rant about his wife’s “dismal” sense of direction. The book abruptly ends with a torrent of swear words and typos, suggesting Mr. Smith was drunk on beer as he concluding what he dubs his “masterpiece”.
The Rebuttal: The Wife Responds With a Podcast Series and Film
Derek Smith’s wife, Diane, responded to her husbands book belatedly. In 2020, she began a podcast series called Why My Ex-Husband is a Tosser (the couple divorced in 2018). Consisting of 10 minute episodes, Diane lists out everything she detests about her husband.
In 2022, the podcast was adapted into a film of the same name starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as Derek and Davina McCall as Diane. The low-budget production was a box office failure and amassed only £32,000 at the global box office. Schwarzenegger called it the “greatest embarrassment” of his career.
Diane Smith later confirmed she regretted the podcast series, film, and had avoided the Fishergate Shopping Centre for over 25 years since the incident. She now only shops in Lidl.
#Books #Humor #Lifestyle #Literature #Marriage #relationshipAdvice #Satire #satirical #Silly #WhereIsLife #WhereIsMyWife #wife -
Why do girls become overly possessive after entering a relationship? Understand the science behind it
Girls being over-possessive in relationships is not just their nature, but also due to love hormones (oxytocin), bad experiences in the past and fear of losing.
#RelationshipScience #Psychology #RelationshipAdvice #HumanBehavior #LoveAndRelationships
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That feeling when they say "I need space" but you don't know what that actually means.
Space to think? Space to leave? Space to come back?
The uncertainty is worse than the answer.
What did "space" end up meaning in your experience?
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Research shows 43% of women 18-49 believe in astrology.
And 30% of Americans consult tarot, astrology, or psychics yearly.
This isn't a fringe interest. It's a mainstream way people seek clarity on uncertainty.
The real question is: what tools are actually helping?
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Not all silence means the same thing.
Sometimes it's:
- Processing emotions
- Fear of commitment
- Past trauma resurfacing
- Genuinely needing timeBut it's hard to tell which one you're dealing with.
What signals do you look for to understand the silence?
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That feeling when they say "I need space" but you don't know what that actually means.
Space to think? Space to leave? Space to come back?
The uncertainty is worse than the answer.
What did "space" end up meaning in your experience?
-
That feeling when they say "I need space" but you don't know what that actually means.
Space to think? Space to leave? Space to come back?
The uncertainty is worse than the answer.
What did "space" end up meaning in your experience?
-
That feeling when they say "I need space" but you don't know what that actually means.
Space to think? Space to leave? Space to come back?
The uncertainty is worse than the answer.
What did "space" end up meaning in your experience?
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Where are you in your relationship right now?
🔹 The almost-relationship — deep feelings, no label
🔹 The fading thread — slower replies, but not over
🔹 The pause — a break you're not sure is temporaryWhich one feels most like your situation?
There's no shame in not knowing. Sometimes the hardest part is naming it.
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When they go quiet, it's not always because they don't care...
Sometimes it's fear. Sometimes hesitation. Sometimes they're still figuring out their own feelings.
The silence still hurts, but the reasons behind it are more complicated than we think.
What's your experience with this? Have you ever been on either side?
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Self-Care or Self-Centrism? The Line the Personal Development Industry Won’t Draw For You
Emily had the healthiest boundaries anyone she knew had ever heard of. At least, that's how she'd have described it. She didn't answer calls after 7 p.m. She'd left the family group chat the year before, calling it "a source of negativity." She'd stopped attending her cousin's monthly dinners because, in her words, "that whole side of the family drains me." At work, she'd developed a reputation for shutting down feedback sessions early — "I don't engage with negativity disguised as […]https://www.acumentor.co/self-centrism-vs-self-care-personal-development-industry/
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Did They Ghost You?
Comments: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=49051120
#HackerNews #ghosting #relationshipadvice #dating #onlinecommunication #socialmedia
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That feeling when they say "I need space" but you don't know what that actually means.
Space to think? Space to leave? Space to come back?
The uncertainty is worse than the answer.
What did "space" end up meaning in your experience?
-
Not all silence means the same thing.
Sometimes it is:
- Processing emotions
- Fear of commitment
- Past trauma resurfacing
- Genuinely needing timeBut it is hard to tell which one you are dealing with.
What signals do you look for to understand the silence?
-
That feeling when they say "I need space" but you don't know what that actually means.
Space to think? Space to leave? Space to come back?
The uncertainty is worse than the answer.
What did "space" end up meaning in your experience?
-
When they go quiet, it's not always because they don't care...
Sometimes it's fear. Sometimes hesitation. Sometimes they're still figuring out their own feelings.
The silence still hurts, but the reasons behind it are more complicated than we think.
What's your experience with this? Have you ever been on either side?
-
When they go quiet, it's not always because they don't care...
Sometimes it's fear. Sometimes hesitation. Sometimes they're still figuring out their own feelings.
The silence still hurts, but the reasons behind it are more complicated than we think.
What's your experience with this? Have you ever been on either side?
-
When they go quiet, it's not always because they don't care...
Sometimes it's fear. Sometimes hesitation. Sometimes they're still figuring out their own feelings.
The silence still hurts, but the reasons behind it are more complicated than we think.
What's your experience with this? Have you ever been on either side?
-
When they go quiet, it's not always because they don't care...
Sometimes it's fear. Sometimes hesitation. Sometimes they're still figuring out their own feelings.
The silence still hurts, but the reasons behind it are more complicated than we think.
What's your experience with this? Have you ever been on either side?
-
That feeling when they say "I need space" but you don't know what that actually means.
Space to think? Space to leave? Space to come back?
The uncertainty is worse than the answer.
What did "space" end up meaning in your experience?
-
Not all silence means the same thing.
Sometimes it's:
• Processing emotions
• Fear of commitment
• Past trauma resurfacing
• Genuinely needing timeBut it's hard to tell which one you're dealing with.
What signals do you look for to understand the silence?
-
That feeling when they say "I need space" but you don't know what that actually means.
Space to think? Space to leave? Space to come back?
The uncertainty is worse than the answer.
What did "space" end up meaning in your experience?
-
You Both Have a Phone. Only One of You Is Being Honest About It.
https://wp.me/p84YjG-aXM #zsoltzsemba #honesty #trust #modernrelationships #Instagram #finsta #accountability #relationshipadvice #datingadvice #menandrelationships #pacar #pacaran -
You're Not Jealous. You're Paying Attention.
https://wp.me/p84YjG-aXL
#zsoltzsemba #relationships #jealousy #trustyourgut #relationshipadvice #socialmedia #moderndating #instincts #anxiety #datingadvice #selfawareness #redflags #menandrelationships #cheating