#techbro — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #techbro, aggregated by home.social.
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Douchebag, techbro likely liber-tuh-ree-aaahn (auto blocked) just now:
"Oh, but people should be FREEEE [ ftreedumbz ] to check work they paid for!!" [ non verb ]
Me: "yes, and the professional thus insulted should be FREEEEEE to tell them to go eat a bag of dicks in hell"
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Douchebag, techbro likely liber-tuh-ree-aaahn (auto blocked) just now:
"Oh, but people should be FREEEE [ ftreedumbz ] to check work they paid for!!" [ non verb ]
Me: "yes, and the professional thus insulted should be FREEEEEE to tell them to go eat a bag of dicks in hell"
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Douchebag, techbro likely liber-tuh-ree-aaahn (auto blocked) just now:
"Oh, but people should be FREEEE [ ftreedumbz ] to check work they paid for!!" [ non verb ]
Me: "yes, and the professional thus insulted should be FREEEEEE to tell them to go eat a bag of dicks in hell"
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🔮 Aquarius's May 14 Celestial Guidance: A hackathon prototype built on Fastify and NiceGUI dazzles, but the production pipeline still depends on manual Docker pushes, causing deployment delays and a backlog of security patches.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Aquarius -
🔮 Pisces's May 14 Celestial Guidance: Late‑night debugging of a flaky Nuxt build reveals a hidden dependency on an ancient Node version; the team submits a ticket to upgrade, but the roadmap is already packed with marketing initiatives.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Pisces -
🔮 Capricorn's May 14 Celestial Guidance: An internal audit flags excessive tool sprawl: Terraform, Pulumi, Chef, and a legacy Ansible playbook coexist, leading to a decision paralysis that stalls any meaningful progress on the core product.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Capricorn -
🔮 Sagittarius's May 14 Celestial Guidance: The quarterly bonus talk mentions unicorn equity, yet the team battles a 30‑minute compile on outdated libraries, juggling ten monitoring tools while the PM promises a 'quick' refactor that never arrives.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Sagittarius -
🔮 Libra's May 14 Celestial Guidance: The product roadmap promises AI‑driven features, but the current stack still runs on a monolithic Java service; integration tests fail randomly, prompting endless meetings to align on unclear objectives.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Libra -
🔮 Scorpio's May 14 Celestial Guidance: A merge request introduces a new Alchemy SDK; reviewers flag missing unit tests, and the CI runner times out after an hour, prompting a frantic search for a faster build node before the deadline.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Scorpio -
🔮 Virgo's May 14 Celestial Guidance: Sprint retrospection reveals that the team spent three days configuring Koyeb containers, only to discover the config file was committed in plain text, sparking a security audit and a morale dip.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Virgo -
🔮 Leo's May 14 Celestial Guidance: A demo for investors showcases a Nuxt front‑end, yet the backend on TencentCloud is throttling, leading to a tense Q&A where the VP asks for a zero‑downtime deploy that the current pipeline can’t guarantee.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Leo -
🔮 Cancer's May 14 Celestial Guidance: An urgent bug report points to a deprecated Hive query; the team patches it with a Hightouch sync, but the rollback script is missing, causing a cascade of alerts during the quarterly all‑hands.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Cancer -
🔮 Gemini's May 14 Celestial Guidance: The Kanban board fills with tickets labeled 'quick win' that actually require rewriting a Fastify microservice, and the Slack channel floods with requests for NiceGUI demos, delaying the real feature rollout.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Gemini -
🔮 Taurus's May 14 Celestial Guidance: Daily stand‑up spirals into a debate over Pulumi vs. Chef, while the prod environment crashes on a missing nRF52 driver, forcing a hotfix that triggers a chain of build‑time warnings and a surprise on‑call shift.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Taurus -
🔮 Aries's May 14 Celestial Guidance: A sprint starts with an endless backlog of legacy code; code reviews turn into debugging sessions for Terraform scripts, while the CI pipeline stalls at 99% and the all‑hands agenda promises a new cloud vendor migration that never lands.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Aries -
Folks, it's time to stop being Luddites.
The fact is the future of technology is here.
If you don't get on board, you will be left behind.
It really is inevitable.
Look, I know some of you have questions about computer-generated images, audio, and video.
Some even say it will put artists out of work. Or replace books.
But that's just the way of the world now.
We live in the age of convergence, driven by interactive multimedia on CD-ROM.
It's just a matter of time before there's a CDi or CDTV hooked up to every TV screen in the world.
#tech #technology #techbro #retrotech #retrocomputing #retrocomputer #Commodore #CDTV #CDi -
Folks, it's time to stop being Luddites.
The fact is the future of technology is here.
If you don't get on board, you will be left behind.
It really is inevitable.
Look, I know some of you have questions about computer-generated images, audio, and video.
Some even say it will put artists out of work. Or replace books.
But that's just the way of the world now.
We live in the age of convergence, driven by interactive multimedia on CD-ROM.
It's just a matter of time before there's a CDi or CDTV hooked up to every TV screen in the world.
#tech #technology #techbro #retrotech #retrocomputing #retrocomputer #Commodore #CDTV #CDi -
Folks, it's time to stop being Luddites.
The fact is the future of technology is here.
If you don't get on board, you will be left behind.
It really is inevitable.
Look, I know some of you have questions about computer-generated images, audio, and video.
Some even say it will put artists out of work. Or replace books.
But that's just the way of the world now.
We live in the age of convergence, driven by interactive multimedia on CD-ROM.
It's just a matter of time before there's a CDi or CDTV hooked up to every TV screen in the world.
#tech #technology #techbro #retrotech #retrocomputing #retrocomputer #Commodore #CDTV #CDi -
Folks, it's time to stop being Luddites.
The fact is the future of technology is here.
If you don't get on board, you will be left behind.
It really is inevitable.
Look, I know some of you have questions about computer-generated images, audio, and video.
Some even say it will put artists out of work. Or replace books.
But that's just the way of the world now.
We live in the age of convergence, driven by interactive multimedia on CD-ROM.
It's just a matter of time before there's a CDi or CDTV hooked up to every TV screen in the world.
#tech #technology #techbro #retrotech #retrocomputing #retrocomputer #Commodore #CDTV #CDi -
Folks, it's time to stop being Luddites.
The fact is the future of technology is here.
If you don't get on board, you will be left behind.
It really is inevitable.
Look, I know some of you have questions about computer-generated images, audio, and video.
Some even say it will put artists out of work. Or replace books.
But that's just the way of the world now.
We live in the age of convergence, driven by interactive multimedia on CD-ROM.
It's just a matter of time before there's a CDi or CDTV hooked up to every TV screen in the world.
#tech #technology #techbro #retrotech #retrocomputing #retrocomputer #Commodore #CDTV #CDi -
🔮 Pisces's May 13 Celestial Guidance: During a sprint retro, a Slack bot suggests cutting meetings, yet the next day a mandatory Zoom ceremony appears to discuss legacy Spark migration. Expect endless context‑switching and a delayed merge.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Pisces -
🔮 Aquarius's May 13 Celestial Guidance: An internal Typecheck glitch forces a deep dive into micro‑services, uncovering a stray semicolon that broke the build. The team drafts a governance doc while the CI flaps between success and failure.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Aquarius -
🔮 Capricorn's May 13 Celestial Guidance: The quarterly all‑hands reveals a new “innovation sprint” where the team must prototype a Hive‑backed analytics dash. With limited time, the prototype leaks into production, causing a cascade of alerts.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Capricorn -
🔮 Taurus's May 13 Celestial Guidance: During the quarterly retro, the focus drifts to endless Zoom breakout rooms while the codebase still clings to an outdated Jupyter stack. A sudden ESLint rule change forces a refactor that delays the release by a week.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Taurus -
"Global institutions have dramatically underestimated demand for eggs that look like Marc Andreessen. This failure will reverberate through the rest of the decade and beyond, but it's not too late to roll up our sleeves and start fixing it."
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🔮 Pisces's May 12 Celestial Guidance: An endless loop of context‑switching between Braze analytics and internal dashboards leads to burnout. The only solace is a late‑night commit that finally passes the lint.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Pisces -
🔮 Aquarius's May 12 Celestial Guidance: Google Cloud quotas max out during a load test, prompting a frantic request for a temporary increase. Meanwhile, the product roadmap slides into a vague vision of 'AI‑first'.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Aquarius -
🔮 Taurus's May 12 Celestial Guidance: Build pipeline stalls on TeamCity, and the artifact size spikes unexpectedly. A sudden outage in MinIO triggers a frantic search for a backup, while the all‑hands drags on about 'synergy'.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Taurus -
🤦♂️ Oh no, another tech bro's poetic rant about hating #soldering. 🌪️ Apparently, soldering is the end of civilization and the grey smoke is its harbinger. 🙄 Maybe next time, just hire someone who doesn't have an existential crisis over a soldering iron. 🔧✨
https://user8.bearblog.dev/rant/ #techbro #rants #existentialcrisis #innovation #humor #HackerNews #ngated -
😳 The richest 0.1% in the US own 14% of its wealth! Yikes!
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🔮 Pisces's May 11 Celestial Guidance: Late‑stage capitalism whispers through inflated unicorn salaries, while the devs juggle endless ticket triage. A surprise audit of security policies uncovers lax Kyverno rules, prompting an urgent hardening sprint.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Pisces -
🔮 Aquarius's May 11 Celestial Guidance: Internal communication gaps cause duplicated effort on a logging feature, leading to two parallel implementations in Vale. A later merge reveals subtle differences, prompting a joint refactor that unifies standards.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Aquarius -
🔮 Taurus's May 11 Celestial Guidance: Daily stand‑up turns into a marathon of status updates about an ElasticSearch index that refuses to refresh. A sudden outage in the IFTTT webhook forces a rollback, yet a hidden feature flag in Falcon will later save the day.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Taurus -
Palantir doing "working class" cosplay now? Here’s a alternative: NoPalantir - "The Working Class Surveillance Collection" 👁️🛠️
#palantir #techbro #conceptart #streetwear #surveillancecapitalism #design -
🔮 Pisces's May 08 Celestial Guidance: Daily comms are a maze of Slack threads and unclear objectives; the team refactors an Alluxio connector, battles Snyk false positives, and dreams of a product that actually ships on time.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Pisces -
🔮 Aquarius's May 08 Celestial Guidance: The dev environment crashes on every pull request; engineers chase QuickNode latency metrics while the board pushes a vague AI initiative that adds another layer to the already bloated stack.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Aquarius -
🔮 Taurus's May 08 Celestial Guidance: Daily stand‑ups turn into status ping‑pong; the CI/CD on Scaleway times out, and the legacy Hive schema forces manual migrations while the product roadmap swaps priorities faster than a Phoenix deploy.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Taurus -
I think #TheSims games are satire of #capitalism for long time... But only now I seriously think about fact one carrer there is literally just being a startup #techbro...
And it's kind of funny for me, when in Sims 2 there wasn't feature like this, someone created mods introducing student loans...
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🔮 Pisces's May 07 Celestial Guidance: Creative fog meets Astro and Puppeteer scripts that almost work. A gentle refactor and fewer meetings help the release surface. Trust intuition, but add logs before the universe goes recursive.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Pisces -
🔮 Aquarius's May 07 Celestial Guidance: A weirdly brilliant workaround merges DigitalOcean, Trino, and a sketchy wiki into something usable. Innovation thrives outside the hierarchy, especially when the official process is pure theater.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Aquarius -
🔮 Taurus's May 07 Celestial Guidance: Steady hands tame the broken dev env. A slow build finally clears, and a forgotten security patch pays off. Ignore shiny tools; the real alpha is making the old pipeline stop screaming.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Taurus -
🚀💥 Oh, look! Another tech bro thought he could play #politics and surprise, surprise—he faceplanted faster than a #Tesla on #autopilot. 🙈 Maybe try turning off God Mode next time, Dave? #EpicFail
https://www.theverge.com/column/925487/david-sacks-trump-administration-ai-model-review #EpicFail #TechBro #Faceplant #GodMode #HackerNews #ngated -
Oh great, another tech bro decided the internet needed an LSD trip #guide, because clearly that's what was missing from our lives.🌈🔮 Next up, a blockchain-powered #kaleidoscope for optimal mind expansion. 🙄🤯
http://halupedia.com/ #techbro #absurdity #internetculture #LSDtrip #blockchain #HackerNews #ngated -
🔮 Pisces's May 06 Celestial Guidance: The dev environment crashes on startup, requiring a full reinstall of the Flask stack. An internal memo praises 'innovation' while adding yet another redundant library to the codebase.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Pisces -
🔮 Aquarius's May 06 Celestial Guidance: A sudden pivot to a new data pipeline in BigQuery triggers massive schema rewrites. The devs juggle between VSCode, Jitsi, and endless Slack threads, chasing vague success metrics.
#techbro, #horoscope, #astrology, #Aquarius
