#relationshipdynamics — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #relationshipdynamics, aggregated by home.social.
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DATE: August 21, 2026 at 02:00PM
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-------------------------------------------------TITLE: Women face higher risks of partner violence during the weeks their partners cheat
An analysis of the Relationship Dynamics and Social Life study data found that women were more likely to experience violence from their intimate partners at the time the partner was having another sexual partner. This was the case both in situations where the couple did not have an explicit agreement about monogamy and when they had an agreement to be monogamous (that the partner broke). The probability that the relationship will be dissolved was higher after these events. The paper was published in the Journal of Marriage and Family.
Intimate relationships are an important part of adolescence and early adulthood. They help young people develop skills that can shape their relationships later in life. Yet young relationships do not always provide positive experiences. Conflict, controlling behavior, violence, and infidelity can all occur during this period. Therefore, learning to end an unhealthy relationship may be just as important a developmental task as learning how to form and maintain one.
People generally decide whether to remain with a partner by weighing what they gain from the relationship against its emotional and practical costs. Negative experiences can increase those costs, reduce relationship satisfaction, and make being single or finding another partner seem more attractive.
However, not every harmful experience has the same meaning or the same likelihood of bringing a relationship to an end. Physical aggression, psychological abuse, threats, and controlling behavior can overlap, making it difficult to separate their individual effects on a relationship. Infidelity can be particularly destabilizing because it represents a clear violation of an explicit expectation of monogamy and introduces another person into the relationship.
Study authors Jennifer S. Barber and Yasamin Kusunoki examined how intimate partner violence and non-monogamy (having more than one partner at the same time) co-occur and shape the probability of relationship dissolution. They differentiate between two types of non-monogamy – ambiguous-consent non-monogamy and non-consensual non-monogamy.
Ambiguous-consent non-monogamy is a situation where a person has concurrent sexual partners without an explicit agreement about monogamy or non-monogamy. Non-consensual non-monogamy represents a situation where a person has additional sexual partners while in a committed monogamous relationship (this is also called cheating). Study authors expected that intimate partner violence and these two types of non-monogamy will tend to co-occur in relationships and that they increase the probability of subsequent relationship dissolution.
They analyzed data from the Relationship Dynamics and Social Life (RDSL) study. This study involved 1003 young women who were 18-19 years old at the start of the study, drawn from a diverse Michigan county. 992 of them agreed to participate in the longitudinal part of the study. The study followed these women for 2.5 years, to 20-22.5 years of age. It was focused on young pregnancies. Participants were sampled randomly using a database of all driver’s license holders and personal ID card holders for that county. 84% of women selected for participation in this way agreed to participate.
The study began with a 60-minute face-to-face baseline survey focused on respondent’s current intimate relationship, attitudes, and experiences related to intimate relationships and pregnancy. This was followed (for participants who agreed to participate in the longitudinal part of the study) by brief weekly online or telephone surveys to assess ongoing experiences.
Overall, 75% of participants participated in the study for at least 18 months. Participants received small payments for their participation and completion of weekly surveys. Study authors excluded women who did not have sex with male partners, as well as women whose relationships ended before the follow-up surveys began, making the final analyzed sample 895 women.
Results showed that 80% of participants’ relationships ended during the study period. 41% of relationships included fighting (but without intimate partner violence), and 28% of relationships included intimate partner violence. 52% of participants experienced intimate partner violence.
Participating women reported engaging in non-consensual non-monogamy (cheating) in 5% of relationships, while they reported their partner doing this in 7% of relationships. They reported engaging in ambiguous-consent non-monogamy in 9% of relationships, while reporting this for their partner in 16% of relationships.
They reported having sex during 42% of weeks in which they had a partner. On average, relationships lasted 9 months and 85% of them did not include pregnancies or births. 6% included a pregnancy that did not lead to a birth, and 8% of these relationships resulted in a child. Partners were, on average, 2 years older than respondents.
Participants were more likely to experience violence from their partner in the weeks when their partner was having another sexual partner, both in situations where this represented ambiguous-consent non-monogamy and when it was non-consensual non-monogamy (i.e., when the partner was cheating). Relationships were more likely to dissolve after both types of non-monogamy and after intimate partner violence.
The authors framed these findings using expectancy violations theory, which is the idea that people have strict standards for how their partners should behave, and breaking those rules triggers a severe reassessment of the relationship.
“Findings, interpreted through expectancy violations theory, suggest NCNM [non-consensual non-monogamy i.e., cheating on a partner in a monogamous relationship] and ACNM [ambiguous consent non-monogamy i.e., having additional sexual partners without an explicit agreement] function as powerful relational breaches, while physical IPV [intimate partner violence] (assault) may operate differently from chronic psychological IPV in predicting dissolution,” study authors concluded.
The study contributes to the scientific understanding of romantic relationships. However, although the study collected data on participants’ own non-monogamous behavior, the authors did not report the associations between these types of participants’ behavior and intimate partner violence. Therefore, it remains unreported whether participating women’s own non-monogamous behaviors were associated with intimate partner violence, or how often participants’ and their partners’ non-monogamous behaviors co-occurred. Additionally, the paper did not measure participant-perpetrated intimate partner violence in the same way it measured violence perpetrated by their partners, making the asymmetry starker.
The paper, “Intimate Partner Violence, Ambiguous and Non-Consensual Non-Monogamy, and Breaking Up During Young Adulthood,” was authored by Jennifer S. Barber and Yasamin Kusunoki.
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#psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #IntimatePartnerViolence #NonMonogamy #CheatingImpact #RelationshipDissolution #YoungAdultsRelationships #IPVAwareness #MonogamyExpectations #RelationshipDynamics #StaySafeInRelationships #GenderViolenceResearch
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Understanding Tolyamory: A Common Non-Monogamous Relationship Dynamic
📰 Original title: You May Be In A 'Tolyamorous’ Relationship Without Ever Having Discussed It
🤖 IA: It's clickbait ⚠️
👥 Users: It's clickbait ⚠️View full AI summary https://en.killbait.com/understanding-tolyamory-a-common-non-monogamous-relationship-dynamic.html?utm_source=mastodon_world&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=killbait.mastodon_world
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Pickup Artist's AI Girlfriend and Vision for Future Tech Integration
📰 Original title: Pickup Artist Mystery Has an AI Girlfriend
🤖 IA: It's clickbait ⚠️
👥 Users: It's clickbait ⚠️View full AI summary https://en.killbait.com/pickup-artist-s-ai-girlfriend-and-vision-for-future-tech-integration.html?utm_source=mastodon_world&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=killbait.mastodon_world
#artificialintelligence #aigirlfriend #futuretechnology #relationshipdynamics
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Sex Drive: 5 Surprising Facts from a 67k Person Study
Originally Published on January 27th, 2026 at 08:00 amWhat really drives sexual desire? We often rely on a handful of common assumptions about age, gender, and relationships to answer this question. But what happens when we peel back the layers and look at the science behind sex drive?
A groundbreaking study from the Estonian Biobank provides some of the clearest answers to date, challenging much of our conventional wisdom.
By analyzing data from over 67,000 participants (N = 67,334), researchers uncovered a complex tapestry of unseen forces shaping who wants sex and why. This article shares the most counter-intuitive findings from this massive study that are changing our understanding of human libido.
The Gender Gap in Desire is Wider and More Persistent Than we Thought
The first force this study brings into sharp focus is gender.
While it’s no secret that men, on average, report higher sex drive than women, this research revealed the difference to be exceptionally large and consistent across the lifespan.
In fact, the effect size found was even larger than those documented in previous large-scale meta-analyses. η² = 0.18, a large effect size indicating that gender alone explained a substantial 18% of the difference in desire.
This robust finding underscores just how profound and persistent the influence of gender is on libido. The study’s authors highlight the sheer magnitude of this difference across different life stages:
“Even the peak of average woman’s sexual desire at ages around 20 to 30 remains lower than men’s average levels across much of adulthood. It is only after the age of 60 + that men’s declining sexual desire falls below the highest levels ever reported by women.”
Furthermore, the research showed that this gap in desire actually widens with age, reaching its peak in the 60+ age group.
Men’s Sex Drive Peaks Surprisingly Late
We’re often told that a man’s sex drive is like a rocket. Supposedly peaking in his late teens and slowly coming down.
This study, however, suggests it’s more of a long climb to a high plateau.
Contrary to popular belief, men’s sexual desire actually peaked around their late 30s to early 40s. This finding was particularly surprising because it runs counter to what we know about male biology.
The researchers noted the unexpected nature of this pattern:
“A noteworthy finding was that men’s sexual desire peaked around the age of 40, exceeding even early adulthood levels… This pattern is surprising because it does not align with the well-documented trajectory of testosterone decline…”
This suggests that factors beyond simple biology are at play.
The researchers propose that men in this age group “are more likely to be in stable long-term relationships, which have been associated with increased sexual activity and emotional intimacy.”
In another fascinating hypothesis, they suggest that as men get older, their “levels of desire may be starting to adapt to their partner’s declining levels of desire,” which could help explain the drop-off in later life.
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Parenthood Affects Men and Women’s Desire in Opposite Ways
One of the most fascinating unseen forces revealed by the study was how parenthood impacts libido differently for men and women.
For men, having more children was consistently associated with higher sexual desire. This effect grew stronger with each additional child, with the largest positive association found in fathers with five children. β = 0.43, indicating a strong positive association between fatherhood of five children and higher desire compared to mothers.
This stands in stark contrast to the experience of women, where the demands of parenthood are frequently linked to a decline in desire. A trend also suggested by the study’s data.
The researchers speculate that this opposing effect may reflect:
“…gendered differences in parental roles, stress levels, time availability, and energy investment within a family.”
They also offer a thought-provoking alternative explanation: it’s possible that “higher levels of desire may contribute to men having more children” in the first place, showing the complex relationship between cause and effect.
Single People May Actually Have a Higher Sex Drive
It’s often assumed that being in a committed relationship is the key to a healthy sex drive.
At first glance, the data seemed to support this, showing that partnered people had slightly higher desire on average. But when the researchers used a more powerful statistical lens, controlling for factors like age and gender, the picture flipped.
Partnered individuals actually reported lower sexual desire compared to their single counterparts. β = −0.10, a small but statistically significant effect suggesting that, all else being equal, being in a relationship was linked to a slight decrease in desire.
This surprising result challenges the idea that a relationship automatically sustains high desire. The study’s authors suggest this could be related to habituation in long-term partnerships, a phenomenon that “particularly for women, points to the potential for habituation and shifts in relational dynamics over time.”
In other words, the comfort of a long-term relationship may sometimes come at the expense of novelty.
Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses?
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Your Career Choice Could Be Linked to Your Libido
In perhaps the most novel finding, the study uncovered a remarkable link between a person’s occupation and their level of sexual desire. Simple averages suggested that people in manual-labor and military jobs had the highest libido, but the researchers quickly noted this was likely because those fields are dominated by younger men.
The real story emerged after controlling for factors like age and gender. The study then compared all occupations to a baseline group: senior managers. The results were clear:
- Lower Desire Occupations (Compared to Senior Managers): After accounting for other factors, nearly every other occupation was linked to significantly lower sexual desire. This effect was especially strong for elementary workers (β = -0.27), skilled workers and craftsmen (β = -0.19), and office and customer service workers (β = -0.16).
This highlights the often-overlooked connection between our professional lives, daily stress, and our personal well-being. It suggests that the pressures and routines of our jobs can be a powerful, hidden influence on our libido.
Conclusion: Rethinking What We Know About Sex Drive
This research paints a new picture where desire isn’t just a biological switch. It’s a dynamic outcome of a person’s age, gender, parental role, relationship status, and even their career.
The fact that these demographic and life factors alone could explain nearly 30% of the variance in sexual desire underscores just how profoundly they shape this fundamental human experience.
As we learn more about the complex web of factors that shape our desires, how might we change the conversations we have about sexuality in our own relationships?
Drop your thoughts in the comments.
For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby
Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.
Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.
#ageAndLibido #biopsychosocialModel #couplesCounseling #EstonianBiobank #evidenceBasedTherapy #genderDifferences #habituation #intimacy #largeScaleStudy #libido #marriageAndSex #menSDesire #mentalHealth #occupationalStress #parenthoodAndLibido #psychologyOfSex #relationshipDynamics #sexDrive #sexEducation #sexResearch #sexualDesire #sexualFrequency #sexualHealth #sexualWellbeing #singleVsPartnered #stressAndLibido #womenSDesire -
#boundaries #childhoodwounds #emotionalintelligence #emotionalpain #emotionalregulation #emotionaltrauma #EmotionalTriggers #emotionalwellness #familydynamics #guilt #healingjourney #identity #innerhealing #innerwork #MentalHealth #mindfulness #nervoussystem #personaldevelopment #personalgrowth #relationshipdynamics #selfawareness #selfcompassion #selfreflection #selfunderstanding #shame #stressresponse #toxicpatterns #traumaresponse #triggeredbehavior
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Study finds alcohol and relationship context skew perceptions of sexual consent https://www.psypost.org/study-finds-alcohol-and-relationship-context-skew-perceptions-of-sexual-consent/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=mastodon #SexualConsent #AlcoholAwareness #RelationshipDynamics #CollegeLife #ConsentEducation
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Dark personality traits and love styles differ in partnered and single individuals https://www.psypost.org/dark-personality-traits-and-love-styles-differ-in-partnered-and-single-individuals/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=mastodon #DarkPersonality #LoveStyles #RelationshipDynamics #SinglesVsCouples #PsychologyResearch