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KillBait News @[email protected] · 2026-07-08 · 12:14 UTC

Pickup Artist's AI Girlfriend and Vision for Future Tech Integration
📰 Original title: Pickup Artist Mystery Has an AI Girlfriend
🤖 IA: It's clickbait ⚠️
👥 Users: It's clickbait ⚠️
View full AI summary https://en.killbait.com/pickup-artist-s-ai-girlfriend-and-vision-for-future-tech-integration.html?utm_source=mastodon_world&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=killbait.mastodon_world
#artificialintelligence #aigirlfriend #futuretechnology #relationshipdynamics

#artificialintelligence #aigirlfriend #futuretechnology #relationshipdynamics
Psychology News Robot @[email protected] · 2026-07-05 · 14:12 UTC

DATE: July 5, 2026 at 10:00AM
SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG
** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
-------------------------------------------------
TITLE: More than 50 percent of adults worry about their libido, new study finds
URL: https://www.psypost.org/more-than-50-percent-of-adults-worry-about-their-libido-new-study-finds/
A recent study published in the Journal of Sex Marital Therapy suggests that over half of adults worry about their sex drive, with most concerns centering on having a libido that feels too low or fails to match a partner’s level of desire. The findings provide evidence that everyday stressors, mental health challenges, and relationship dynamics play a major role in how people perceive their own sexual desire. This research helps explain the wide variety of ways individuals experience and interpret changes in their sexual motivation.
Sexual desire is generally understood as a person’s internal motivation to seek out sexual experiences or pleasure. This motivation can manifest as an interest in engaging in sexual activities with others, solo activities like masturbation, or simply experiencing sexual fantasies. A person’s level of desire tends to fluctuate over time. These changes can happen from day to day, or they can shift broadly across different life stages.
Recognizing that sexual desire naturally goes up and down, professionals in psychology and medicine have recently pushed to normalize these variations. They want to move away from treating a fluctuating sex drive as a medical problem. Despite this push, concerns about mismatched sexual desire remain one of the most common reasons couples seek therapy. Discrepancies in desire often link to lower relationship satisfaction and can create significant tension between partners.
Previous research has focused heavily on extremely low desire or situations where partners have mismatched sex drives. In doing so, this past work has left a gap in understanding how everyday individuals personally view and worry about their own libido outside of a clinical setting.
“Sexual desire concerns are one of the most common reasons people seek sex or couples therapy, yet most research has focused on low desire itself or differences in desire between partners,” said Caroline F. Pukall, a professor of psychology and Canada Research Chair in Sexual Health at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario. Pukall is also the editor of a textbook on human sexuality and director of the the Sexual Health Research Lab.
“We wanted to better understand how people personally think about and worry about their libido, including what makes them concerned and how those concerns vary across different relationship statuses, genders, and sexual orientations,” Pukall said. “More broadly, we were interested in moving beyond a purely clinical lens to understand everyday experiences of sexual desire.”
Much of the existing literature also centers on heterosexual, cisgender individuals who are currently in relationships. Cisgender refers to people whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth. The authors of the current study wanted to look at a wider range of experiences to see how people think about their own sexual desire across different demographic groups.
To gather this information, the researchers conducted a mixed-method online survey. A mixed-method approach means the survey included both multiple-choice questions with set answers and open-ended questions where participants could type out their own thoughts.
“One aspect of the study that I particularly value is the mixed-method approach,” Pukall said. “The quantitative data allowed us to identify broad patterns, and participants’ written responses provided rich context about how people experience desire in their everyday lives.”
The team recruited participants by advertising the survey on the social media platforms of the popular science podcast Science Vs. This approach yielded a total sample of 1,317 adults. The final sample included a diverse range of ages, though most participants were younger than 40.
About 55 percent of the sample identified as women, while about 40 percent identified as men. The remaining participants identified as nonbinary or agender. Regarding sexual orientation, about 70 percent identified as heterosexual, and the rest identified as bisexual, pansexual, queer, gay, lesbian, or asexual. Nearly 80 percent of the participants were currently in a committed relationship.
The participants answered a series of questions regarding their perceived level of sexual desire. They also noted how often they engaged in sexual activity over the past year, using a scale from never to every day. They then answered how often they actually wanted to engage in sexual activity during that same timeframe.
The survey also asked them whether they had ever worried about their libido. This section prompted them to identify the reasons for their worry and what specifically bothered them about their experiences. The researchers found that 57.1 percent of the total sample reported worrying about their level of libido.
“One finding that stood out was how many participants were worried about their libido,” Pukall told PsyPost. “More than half of the sample reported having concerns.”
Among those who worried, the most common concern was that their libido seemed too low, which was reported by 47.5 percent of the worried group. Another 42.4 percent worried because their libido did not match their partner’s level of desire. Only 7.6 percent of these participants reported worrying that their sex drive was too high.
When asked what bothered them most about experiencing low libido, the top response was a feeling that they were not satisfying their partner. Almost half of the respondents also noted that they simply missed how sexual they used to feel.
“We were also struck by how often people’s worries centered not only on themselves, but on how their desire affected their relationships, particularly concerns about satisfying a partner or managing differences in desire,” Pukall added. Participants commonly attributed their low libido to mental health issues, with 44.3 percent selecting this as a reason.
Other popular reasons included being unhappy with their body and experiencing side effects from medications. “Another notable finding was the extent to which participants linked low libido to mental health, stress, exhaustion, and parenting responsibilities, highlighting how connected sexual well-being is to overall well-being,” Pukall said.
The study also revealed several demographic differences in how people perceive their sex drives. Gender was moderately associated with libido ratings. Men were more likely to report having a high libido, while women were more likely to report having a low libido.
Women were also significantly more likely than men to report worrying about their sex drive. Relationship status played a role in these concerns as well. Participants who were in relationships, particularly those in relationships lasting between one and fifteen years, were more likely to report low libido and express worry about it.
Age did not seem to impact how people rated their libido or how much they worried about it. Interestingly, while the researchers did not find differences in the actual levels of libido between heterosexual and sexually minoritized participants, the minoritized group did report higher levels of worry about their sex drive.
“The biggest takeaway is that concerns about libido are extremely common, and many people worry about whether their desire is ‘normal,’” Pukall said. “Participants frequently described concerns about having lower desire than they wanted, changes in desire over time, or differences between their own desire and a partner’s.”
“Importantly, our findings reinforce that variation in sexual desire is a typical part of human experience, and that factors such as stress, mental health, relationship dynamics, major life transitions, and parenting can all influence desire,” she added. “Although some group differences emerged, many of the statistical effects were relatively small, suggesting that individual experiences and life circumstances may be more important than broad demographic categories alone.”
In the open-ended responses, a smaller subset of participants elaborated on their personal struggles. Many described their libido as wildly inconsistent, disappearing for weeks at a time before returning. Others explained that pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding drastically reduced their sexual desire.
“Those responses consistently highlighted themes of uncertainty, fluctuation, stress, mental health, parenting, and relationship dynamics, reminding us that sexual desire is deeply embedded within the broader context of people’s lives and relationships,” Pukall noted. Some participants pointed to intense stress, busy lifestyles, and chronic exhaustion as major factors that ruined their mood for intimacy.
Some participants also shared that low libido negatively impacted their sexual self-esteem, making them feel undesirable or unworthy of their partners. A few individuals even disclosed that their low sex drive made them worry they would be pressured into unwanted sexual activity just to keep a partner happy. Others highlighted cultural factors, such as growing up in religious environments that promoted abstinence, which made it hard for them to enjoy intimacy later in life.
While this study provides an informative look into how people view their own sexual desire, it has some limitations. Pukall warned that the findings do not necessarily represent the exact prevalence of these issues in the wider public.
“One important caveat is that this study should not be interpreted as showing how common libido concerns are in the general population,” Pukall said. “Participants were recruited through a podcast audience and voluntarily chose to complete a survey about libido, so the sample is not representative of all adults.”
Pukall also emphasized that experiencing a dip in sexual motivation is not automatically a bad thing. “I would also caution against interpreting low desire as inherently problematic,” she explained. “Our findings suggest that distress often stems from uncertainty, social expectations, relationship concerns, or life circumstances rather than from any objective standard of what libido ‘should’ be.”
The researchers used the terms sex drive and libido interchangeably without providing a strict definition for the participants. This means participants may have interpreted the questions differently based on their own personal definitions. The study also did not separate spontaneous desire, which happens out of nowhere, from responsive desire, which occurs in reaction to a sexual situation.
Another limitation involves the survey questions themselves. The researchers created their own questions rather than using established psychological questionnaires. This choice allowed them to tailor the survey to their specific goals, but it makes it harder to compare these findings directly to older studies.
Social expectations and pressures could have also influenced how people answered the survey. For example, cultural norms often pressure men into reporting high levels of sexual desire to appear more masculine. These types of social pressures can create response bias in surveys where people self-report their behaviors and feelings.
Looking ahead, the researchers hope to address these methodological constraints. “An important next step is using more comprehensive, validated measures to better capture the many dimensions of sexual desire,” Pukall said.
“We would also like to examine these experiences in larger and more diverse samples so we can better understand differences across specific gender identities, sexual orientations, cultural contexts, and life stages.” The ultimate goal is to translate these insights into better support systems for individuals navigating changes in their sex drives.
These efforts could help therapists and educators better assist people experiencing distress. “Ultimately, we hope this work contributes to educational and clinical approaches that normalize variation in desire while helping people communicate more effectively about sexual needs and expectations,” Pukall said.
The study, “Worrying About Low Libido: A Mixed-Method Evaluation of Sexual Desire Across Gender, Sexual Orientation, and Relationship Status,” was authored by Julianna T. Park, Samantha L. Levang, Melody Garas, Blythe Terrell, Wendy Zukerman, and Caroline F. Pukall.
URL: https://www.psypost.org/more-than-50-percent-of-adults-worry-about-their-libido-new-study-finds/
-------------------------------------------------
Private, vetted email list for mental health professionals: https://www.clinicians-exchange.org
Unofficial Psychology Today Xitter to toot feed at Psych Today Unofficial Bot @PTUnofficialBot
-------------------------------------------------
#psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #WorryingAboutLowLibido #SexualDesire # LibidoConcerns #MentalHealthAndSex #RelationshipDynamics #SexualHealthResearch #DesireVariability #TherapyAndSex #NormalizingDesire #SexualWellBeing

#psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy #mentalhealth #psychiatry
Psychology News Robot @[email protected] · 2026-07-05 · 14:12 UTC

DATE: July 5, 2026 at 10:00AM
SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG
** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
-------------------------------------------------
TITLE: More than 50 percent of adults worry about their libido, new study finds
URL: https://www.psypost.org/more-than-50-percent-of-adults-worry-about-their-libido-new-study-finds/
A recent study published in the Journal of Sex Marital Therapy suggests that over half of adults worry about their sex drive, with most concerns centering on having a libido that feels too low or fails to match a partner’s level of desire. The findings provide evidence that everyday stressors, mental health challenges, and relationship dynamics play a major role in how people perceive their own sexual desire. This research helps explain the wide variety of ways individuals experience and interpret changes in their sexual motivation.
Sexual desire is generally understood as a person’s internal motivation to seek out sexual experiences or pleasure. This motivation can manifest as an interest in engaging in sexual activities with others, solo activities like masturbation, or simply experiencing sexual fantasies. A person’s level of desire tends to fluctuate over time. These changes can happen from day to day, or they can shift broadly across different life stages.
Recognizing that sexual desire naturally goes up and down, professionals in psychology and medicine have recently pushed to normalize these variations. They want to move away from treating a fluctuating sex drive as a medical problem. Despite this push, concerns about mismatched sexual desire remain one of the most common reasons couples seek therapy. Discrepancies in desire often link to lower relationship satisfaction and can create significant tension between partners.
Previous research has focused heavily on extremely low desire or situations where partners have mismatched sex drives. In doing so, this past work has left a gap in understanding how everyday individuals personally view and worry about their own libido outside of a clinical setting.
“Sexual desire concerns are one of the most common reasons people seek sex or couples therapy, yet most research has focused on low desire itself or differences in desire between partners,” said Caroline F. Pukall, a professor of psychology and Canada Research Chair in Sexual Health at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario. Pukall is also the editor of a textbook on human sexuality and director of the the Sexual Health Research Lab.
“We wanted to better understand how people personally think about and worry about their libido, including what makes them concerned and how those concerns vary across different relationship statuses, genders, and sexual orientations,” Pukall said. “More broadly, we were interested in moving beyond a purely clinical lens to understand everyday experiences of sexual desire.”
Much of the existing literature also centers on heterosexual, cisgender individuals who are currently in relationships. Cisgender refers to people whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth. The authors of the current study wanted to look at a wider range of experiences to see how people think about their own sexual desire across different demographic groups.
To gather this information, the researchers conducted a mixed-method online survey. A mixed-method approach means the survey included both multiple-choice questions with set answers and open-ended questions where participants could type out their own thoughts.
“One aspect of the study that I particularly value is the mixed-method approach,” Pukall said. “The quantitative data allowed us to identify broad patterns, and participants’ written responses provided rich context about how people experience desire in their everyday lives.”
The team recruited participants by advertising the survey on the social media platforms of the popular science podcast Science Vs. This approach yielded a total sample of 1,317 adults. The final sample included a diverse range of ages, though most participants were younger than 40.
About 55 percent of the sample identified as women, while about 40 percent identified as men. The remaining participants identified as nonbinary or agender. Regarding sexual orientation, about 70 percent identified as heterosexual, and the rest identified as bisexual, pansexual, queer, gay, lesbian, or asexual. Nearly 80 percent of the participants were currently in a committed relationship.
The participants answered a series of questions regarding their perceived level of sexual desire. They also noted how often they engaged in sexual activity over the past year, using a scale from never to every day. They then answered how often they actually wanted to engage in sexual activity during that same timeframe.
The survey also asked them whether they had ever worried about their libido. This section prompted them to identify the reasons for their worry and what specifically bothered them about their experiences. The researchers found that 57.1 percent of the total sample reported worrying about their level of libido.
“One finding that stood out was how many participants were worried about their libido,” Pukall told PsyPost. “More than half of the sample reported having concerns.”
Among those who worried, the most common concern was that their libido seemed too low, which was reported by 47.5 percent of the worried group. Another 42.4 percent worried because their libido did not match their partner’s level of desire. Only 7.6 percent of these participants reported worrying that their sex drive was too high.
When asked what bothered them most about experiencing low libido, the top response was a feeling that they were not satisfying their partner. Almost half of the respondents also noted that they simply missed how sexual they used to feel.
“We were also struck by how often people’s worries centered not only on themselves, but on how their desire affected their relationships, particularly concerns about satisfying a partner or managing differences in desire,” Pukall added. Participants commonly attributed their low libido to mental health issues, with 44.3 percent selecting this as a reason.
Other popular reasons included being unhappy with their body and experiencing side effects from medications. “Another notable finding was the extent to which participants linked low libido to mental health, stress, exhaustion, and parenting responsibilities, highlighting how connected sexual well-being is to overall well-being,” Pukall said.
The study also revealed several demographic differences in how people perceive their sex drives. Gender was moderately associated with libido ratings. Men were more likely to report having a high libido, while women were more likely to report having a low libido.
Women were also significantly more likely than men to report worrying about their sex drive. Relationship status played a role in these concerns as well. Participants who were in relationships, particularly those in relationships lasting between one and fifteen years, were more likely to report low libido and express worry about it.
Age did not seem to impact how people rated their libido or how much they worried about it. Interestingly, while the researchers did not find differences in the actual levels of libido between heterosexual and sexually minoritized participants, the minoritized group did report higher levels of worry about their sex drive.
“The biggest takeaway is that concerns about libido are extremely common, and many people worry about whether their desire is ‘normal,’” Pukall said. “Participants frequently described concerns about having lower desire than they wanted, changes in desire over time, or differences between their own desire and a partner’s.”
“Importantly, our findings reinforce that variation in sexual desire is a typical part of human experience, and that factors such as stress, mental health, relationship dynamics, major life transitions, and parenting can all influence desire,” she added. “Although some group differences emerged, many of the statistical effects were relatively small, suggesting that individual experiences and life circumstances may be more important than broad demographic categories alone.”
In the open-ended responses, a smaller subset of participants elaborated on their personal struggles. Many described their libido as wildly inconsistent, disappearing for weeks at a time before returning. Others explained that pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding drastically reduced their sexual desire.
“Those responses consistently highlighted themes of uncertainty, fluctuation, stress, mental health, parenting, and relationship dynamics, reminding us that sexual desire is deeply embedded within the broader context of people’s lives and relationships,” Pukall noted. Some participants pointed to intense stress, busy lifestyles, and chronic exhaustion as major factors that ruined their mood for intimacy.
Some participants also shared that low libido negatively impacted their sexual self-esteem, making them feel undesirable or unworthy of their partners. A few individuals even disclosed that their low sex drive made them worry they would be pressured into unwanted sexual activity just to keep a partner happy. Others highlighted cultural factors, such as growing up in religious environments that promoted abstinence, which made it hard for them to enjoy intimacy later in life.
While this study provides an informative look into how people view their own sexual desire, it has some limitations. Pukall warned that the findings do not necessarily represent the exact prevalence of these issues in the wider public.
“One important caveat is that this study should not be interpreted as showing how common libido concerns are in the general population,” Pukall said. “Participants were recruited through a podcast audience and voluntarily chose to complete a survey about libido, so the sample is not representative of all adults.”
Pukall also emphasized that experiencing a dip in sexual motivation is not automatically a bad thing. “I would also caution against interpreting low desire as inherently problematic,” she explained. “Our findings suggest that distress often stems from uncertainty, social expectations, relationship concerns, or life circumstances rather than from any objective standard of what libido ‘should’ be.”
The researchers used the terms sex drive and libido interchangeably without providing a strict definition for the participants. This means participants may have interpreted the questions differently based on their own personal definitions. The study also did not separate spontaneous desire, which happens out of nowhere, from responsive desire, which occurs in reaction to a sexual situation.
Another limitation involves the survey questions themselves. The researchers created their own questions rather than using established psychological questionnaires. This choice allowed them to tailor the survey to their specific goals, but it makes it harder to compare these findings directly to older studies.
Social expectations and pressures could have also influenced how people answered the survey. For example, cultural norms often pressure men into reporting high levels of sexual desire to appear more masculine. These types of social pressures can create response bias in surveys where people self-report their behaviors and feelings.
Looking ahead, the researchers hope to address these methodological constraints. “An important next step is using more comprehensive, validated measures to better capture the many dimensions of sexual desire,” Pukall said.
“We would also like to examine these experiences in larger and more diverse samples so we can better understand differences across specific gender identities, sexual orientations, cultural contexts, and life stages.” The ultimate goal is to translate these insights into better support systems for individuals navigating changes in their sex drives.
These efforts could help therapists and educators better assist people experiencing distress. “Ultimately, we hope this work contributes to educational and clinical approaches that normalize variation in desire while helping people communicate more effectively about sexual needs and expectations,” Pukall said.
The study, “Worrying About Low Libido: A Mixed-Method Evaluation of Sexual Desire Across Gender, Sexual Orientation, and Relationship Status,” was authored by Julianna T. Park, Samantha L. Levang, Melody Garas, Blythe Terrell, Wendy Zukerman, and Caroline F. Pukall.
URL: https://www.psypost.org/more-than-50-percent-of-adults-worry-about-their-libido-new-study-finds/
-------------------------------------------------
Private, vetted email list for mental health professionals: https://www.clinicians-exchange.org
Unofficial Psychology Today Xitter to toot feed at Psych Today Unofficial Bot @PTUnofficialBot
-------------------------------------------------
#psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #WorryingAboutLowLibido #SexualDesire # LibidoConcerns #MentalHealthAndSex #RelationshipDynamics #SexualHealthResearch #DesireVariability #TherapyAndSex #NormalizingDesire #SexualWellBeing

#psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy #mentalhealth #psychiatry
Psychology News Robot @[email protected] · 2026-07-03 · 11:12 UTC

DATE: July 3, 2026 at 07:00AM
SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG
** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
-------------------------------------------------
TITLE: Women who perceive their partner as more desirable report higher motivation to please them sexually
URL: https://www.psypost.org/women-who-perceive-their-partner-as-more-desirable-report-higher-motivation-to-please-them-sexually/
A study of women in committed and sexually active romantic relationships in Poland found that women who perceived their mate value as lower than that of their partner showed a stronger desire to satisfy their partner sexually. In turn, this higher motivation was associated with these women initiating sex, performing fellatio, and faking orgasms more frequently. The paper was published in Archives of Sexual Behavior.
Being in a stable romantic relationship is beneficial for both men and women. Stable romantic relationships can provide emotional security, shared resources, mutual protection, and a reliable environment for raising children. From an evolutionary perspective, long-term bonds may have benefited men by increasing confidence in paternity and women by providing support during pregnancy, childbirth, and childcare. Cooperative parenting can improve children’s survival and development by distributing the demands of protection, caregiving, and resource provision between partners.
Nevertheless, maintaining a long-term relationship can be difficult because people must balance commitment to a partner with attraction to possible alternatives. To reduce the risk of infidelity or separation, people use mate-retention strategies aimed at preserving their partner’s commitment.
Benefit-provisioning strategies strengthen the relationship by offering affection, emotional support, resources, attention, or sexual satisfaction. Cost-inflicting strategies instead attempt to discourage defection through jealousy, surveillance, criticism, possessiveness, or restrictions on the partner’s behavior.
These efforts may become stronger when people believe that their partner has greater mate value than they do, because this discrepancy can produce insecurity and fear of abandonment. Mate value is a person’s perceived desirability as a romantic or sexual partner based on traits such as attractiveness, health, personality, status, resources, and relationship qualities.
In their new study, Natalia Frankowska, an assistant professor at SWPS University in Poland and Fulbright Visiting Scholar at UCLA, and her colleagues explored whether heterosexual women with a perceived lower mate value than their male partner engage in sex initiation, active oral sex, and faking orgasms more frequently.
“This study was a continuation of our earlier research on men’s sexual behavior in committed heterosexual relationships,” Frankowska told PsyPost. “Oral sex is interesting from an evolutionary perspective because it does not directly contribute to conception, yet people commonly engage in it. This suggests that it may serve important social, sexual, or relational functions.”
Previous research has suggested that oral sex may function as a mate retention behavior that helps maintain a partner’s interest and commitment. In their earlier study, Frankowska and colleagues found that men who perceived their female partners as having higher mate value than themselves were more motivated to sexually satisfy them, resulting in more frequent cunnilingus.
“We then wanted to test whether a similar mechanism could be observed among women,” Frankowska explained. “More specifically, we were interested in what happens when people feel that their partner may be more desirable than they are — what psychologists call mate value discrepancy. Such perceptions are subjective and may change over time, but they can shape how people think and behave within committed relationships.”
The researchers hypothesized that a larger mate value gap favoring the male partner would increase the woman’s motivation to sexually please him as a mate retention strategy. In turn, this would lead to more frequent attempts at initiating sex, fellatio, and faking orgasms.
“We thought that focusing only on oral sex would capture only one part of this process. In women, partner-directed sexual investment may be expressed both through behaviors that directly provide sexual pleasure, such as oral sex, and through behaviors that signal desire, sexual interest, or sexual satisfaction,” Frankowska said. “Initiating sex may communicate that the partner is wanted and desired, whereas faking orgasm may communicate that the partner is sexually satisfying. We therefore examined oral sex, sex initiation, and faking orgasm as different possible forms of sexual benefit-provisioning mate retention strategies.”
Study participants were 562 Polish women. Among them, 477 reported that they engage exclusively in heterosexual sexual activities, while 85 reported that they predominantly engage in heterosexual sexual activities. Participants were between 18 and 50 years of age, with the average age being 30 years. Nearly 64% of participating women were in relationships lasting more than three years.
Study participants completed an online survey. They first reported their demographic data, sexual orientation, and duration of their current relationship. Next, they reported how often they initiated sex, performed oral sex, and faked orgasms during their last 10 sexual encounters. They also reported how often they experienced orgasm and received oral stimulation from their partner during their last 10 sexual encounters.
The discrepancy in mate values between the participant and her partner was assessed using the Mate Value Scale. In this scale, participants rated their own perceived mate value and separately evaluated their partner’s. The scale itself consists of four items asking the respondent to rate the overall desirability of herself and her partner. The mate value discrepancy was the difference in ratings a woman gave to herself and to her partner. Participants also completed short assessments of their motivation to sexually satisfy the partner and of perceived vulnerability to disease.
Results showed that women with higher mate value discrepancy, meaning they rated their partner’s mate value higher than their own, tended to be slightly more motivated to satisfy their partner sexually. Women who were more motivated to satisfy their partner sexually tended to initiate sex, perform oral sex, and fake orgasms slightly more frequently. They also tended to be younger.
However, mate value discrepancy was not associated directly with the frequency with which women initiated sex, performed fellatio, or faked orgasms. Instead, the study authors tested a statistical model proposing an indirect relationship: higher mate value discrepancy makes women more motivated to satisfy their partner sexually, and that higher motivation then makes them more likely to initiate sex, perform fellatio, or fake orgasms. Results showed that such an indirect relationship between these factors is present.
“The main takeaway is that sexual behavior in committed relationships may be shaped not only by desire and pleasure, but also by perceived relationship dynamics,” Frankowska said. “In our sample of Polish women in committed heterosexual relationships, women who perceived their male partners as having higher mate value than themselves reported a stronger motivation to sexually satisfy their partners. This motivation, in turn, was associated with more frequent sex initiation, oral sex, and faking orgasms.”
Further analyses revealed that the relationship between mate value discrepancy and fellatio frequency did not depend on participating women’s perceived vulnerability to disease, their enjoyment of performing fellatio, or their perception of their partner’s enjoyment of receiving fellatio.
“The most surprising finding was that the indirect effect involving oral sex did not depend on how much women reported enjoying performing oral sex or how much they believed their partners enjoyed receiving it,” Frankowska noted. “This differed from our earlier study on men, where the effect was present mainly among men who enjoyed performing oral sex. This suggests that the mechanisms may be partly similar for women and men, but not identical.”
The study contributes to scientific knowledge about human sexual behavior. However, it should be noted that the design of this study does not allow any causal inferences to be derived from the results. Additionally, all data came from self-reports, leaving room for reporting bias to have affected the results. Previous studies have shown that reporting bias tends to be a particularly important risk in studies asking participants to report sensitive information about their sexual behavior. Finally, all of the reported associations were weak.
“This was a self-report study on sensitive sexual behaviors, so responses may have been influenced by memory, self-presentation, or cultural norms around sexuality,” Frankowska told PsyPost. “The study was also correlational, so we cannot make strong causal claims. We do not know whether perceived mate value discrepancy leads to these behaviors, whether these behaviors shape relationship dynamics, or whether both are influenced by other factors such as relationship satisfaction or perceived risk of infidelity. More research is needed to answer these questions.”
Future research will focus on better understanding the conditions under which sexual behaviors may function as mate retention strategies, and exploring cross-cultural differences in these behaviors.
“I think it is important to interpret these findings carefully,” Frankowska added. “Sexual behavior is complex and can have many meanings at the same time. Our study does not suggest that women’s sexual behaviors are reducible to mate retention, or that these behaviors are inherently problematic. Our point is more specific: perceived imbalance in partners’ mate value may be one factor shaping the motivation to satisfy a partner sexually, and this motivation may be linked to particular sexual behaviors in committed relationships. This is not necessarily conscious, calculated, or manipulative. It is one possible psychological mechanism within broader relationship dynamics.”
The paper, “Polish Women’s Sexual Strategies in Mate Retention: Initiating Sex, Faking Orgasms, and Performing Oral Sex in Response to Mate Value Discrepancy–Evidence from a Preregistered Study,” was authored by Natalia Frankowska, Aleksandra Szymkow, and Andrzej Galbarczyk.
URL: https://www.psypost.org/women-who-perceive-their-partner-as-more-desirable-report-higher-motivation-to-please-them-sexually/
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-------------------------------------------------
#psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #MateValueDiscrepancy #SexualBehaviorResearch #WomenInRelationships #OralSexMotivation #SexualInitiation #FakingOrgasms #MateRetentionStrategies #RelationshipDynamics #PolishStudy #ArchivesOfSexualBehavior

#psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy #mentalhealth #psychiatry
Psychology News Robot @[email protected] · 2026-07-03 · 11:12 UTC

DATE: July 3, 2026 at 07:00AM
SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG
** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
-------------------------------------------------
TITLE: Women who perceive their partner as more desirable report higher motivation to please them sexually
URL: https://www.psypost.org/women-who-perceive-their-partner-as-more-desirable-report-higher-motivation-to-please-them-sexually/
A study of women in committed and sexually active romantic relationships in Poland found that women who perceived their mate value as lower than that of their partner showed a stronger desire to satisfy their partner sexually. In turn, this higher motivation was associated with these women initiating sex, performing fellatio, and faking orgasms more frequently. The paper was published in Archives of Sexual Behavior.
Being in a stable romantic relationship is beneficial for both men and women. Stable romantic relationships can provide emotional security, shared resources, mutual protection, and a reliable environment for raising children. From an evolutionary perspective, long-term bonds may have benefited men by increasing confidence in paternity and women by providing support during pregnancy, childbirth, and childcare. Cooperative parenting can improve children’s survival and development by distributing the demands of protection, caregiving, and resource provision between partners.
Nevertheless, maintaining a long-term relationship can be difficult because people must balance commitment to a partner with attraction to possible alternatives. To reduce the risk of infidelity or separation, people use mate-retention strategies aimed at preserving their partner’s commitment.
Benefit-provisioning strategies strengthen the relationship by offering affection, emotional support, resources, attention, or sexual satisfaction. Cost-inflicting strategies instead attempt to discourage defection through jealousy, surveillance, criticism, possessiveness, or restrictions on the partner’s behavior.
These efforts may become stronger when people believe that their partner has greater mate value than they do, because this discrepancy can produce insecurity and fear of abandonment. Mate value is a person’s perceived desirability as a romantic or sexual partner based on traits such as attractiveness, health, personality, status, resources, and relationship qualities.
In their new study, Natalia Frankowska, an assistant professor at SWPS University in Poland and Fulbright Visiting Scholar at UCLA, and her colleagues explored whether heterosexual women with a perceived lower mate value than their male partner engage in sex initiation, active oral sex, and faking orgasms more frequently.
“This study was a continuation of our earlier research on men’s sexual behavior in committed heterosexual relationships,” Frankowska told PsyPost. “Oral sex is interesting from an evolutionary perspective because it does not directly contribute to conception, yet people commonly engage in it. This suggests that it may serve important social, sexual, or relational functions.”
Previous research has suggested that oral sex may function as a mate retention behavior that helps maintain a partner’s interest and commitment. In their earlier study, Frankowska and colleagues found that men who perceived their female partners as having higher mate value than themselves were more motivated to sexually satisfy them, resulting in more frequent cunnilingus.
“We then wanted to test whether a similar mechanism could be observed among women,” Frankowska explained. “More specifically, we were interested in what happens when people feel that their partner may be more desirable than they are — what psychologists call mate value discrepancy. Such perceptions are subjective and may change over time, but they can shape how people think and behave within committed relationships.”
The researchers hypothesized that a larger mate value gap favoring the male partner would increase the woman’s motivation to sexually please him as a mate retention strategy. In turn, this would lead to more frequent attempts at initiating sex, fellatio, and faking orgasms.
“We thought that focusing only on oral sex would capture only one part of this process. In women, partner-directed sexual investment may be expressed both through behaviors that directly provide sexual pleasure, such as oral sex, and through behaviors that signal desire, sexual interest, or sexual satisfaction,” Frankowska said. “Initiating sex may communicate that the partner is wanted and desired, whereas faking orgasm may communicate that the partner is sexually satisfying. We therefore examined oral sex, sex initiation, and faking orgasm as different possible forms of sexual benefit-provisioning mate retention strategies.”
Study participants were 562 Polish women. Among them, 477 reported that they engage exclusively in heterosexual sexual activities, while 85 reported that they predominantly engage in heterosexual sexual activities. Participants were between 18 and 50 years of age, with the average age being 30 years. Nearly 64% of participating women were in relationships lasting more than three years.
Study participants completed an online survey. They first reported their demographic data, sexual orientation, and duration of their current relationship. Next, they reported how often they initiated sex, performed oral sex, and faked orgasms during their last 10 sexual encounters. They also reported how often they experienced orgasm and received oral stimulation from their partner during their last 10 sexual encounters.
The discrepancy in mate values between the participant and her partner was assessed using the Mate Value Scale. In this scale, participants rated their own perceived mate value and separately evaluated their partner’s. The scale itself consists of four items asking the respondent to rate the overall desirability of herself and her partner. The mate value discrepancy was the difference in ratings a woman gave to herself and to her partner. Participants also completed short assessments of their motivation to sexually satisfy the partner and of perceived vulnerability to disease.
Results showed that women with higher mate value discrepancy, meaning they rated their partner’s mate value higher than their own, tended to be slightly more motivated to satisfy their partner sexually. Women who were more motivated to satisfy their partner sexually tended to initiate sex, perform oral sex, and fake orgasms slightly more frequently. They also tended to be younger.
However, mate value discrepancy was not associated directly with the frequency with which women initiated sex, performed fellatio, or faked orgasms. Instead, the study authors tested a statistical model proposing an indirect relationship: higher mate value discrepancy makes women more motivated to satisfy their partner sexually, and that higher motivation then makes them more likely to initiate sex, perform fellatio, or fake orgasms. Results showed that such an indirect relationship between these factors is present.
“The main takeaway is that sexual behavior in committed relationships may be shaped not only by desire and pleasure, but also by perceived relationship dynamics,” Frankowska said. “In our sample of Polish women in committed heterosexual relationships, women who perceived their male partners as having higher mate value than themselves reported a stronger motivation to sexually satisfy their partners. This motivation, in turn, was associated with more frequent sex initiation, oral sex, and faking orgasms.”
Further analyses revealed that the relationship between mate value discrepancy and fellatio frequency did not depend on participating women’s perceived vulnerability to disease, their enjoyment of performing fellatio, or their perception of their partner’s enjoyment of receiving fellatio.
“The most surprising finding was that the indirect effect involving oral sex did not depend on how much women reported enjoying performing oral sex or how much they believed their partners enjoyed receiving it,” Frankowska noted. “This differed from our earlier study on men, where the effect was present mainly among men who enjoyed performing oral sex. This suggests that the mechanisms may be partly similar for women and men, but not identical.”
The study contributes to scientific knowledge about human sexual behavior. However, it should be noted that the design of this study does not allow any causal inferences to be derived from the results. Additionally, all data came from self-reports, leaving room for reporting bias to have affected the results. Previous studies have shown that reporting bias tends to be a particularly important risk in studies asking participants to report sensitive information about their sexual behavior. Finally, all of the reported associations were weak.
“This was a self-report study on sensitive sexual behaviors, so responses may have been influenced by memory, self-presentation, or cultural norms around sexuality,” Frankowska told PsyPost. “The study was also correlational, so we cannot make strong causal claims. We do not know whether perceived mate value discrepancy leads to these behaviors, whether these behaviors shape relationship dynamics, or whether both are influenced by other factors such as relationship satisfaction or perceived risk of infidelity. More research is needed to answer these questions.”
Future research will focus on better understanding the conditions under which sexual behaviors may function as mate retention strategies, and exploring cross-cultural differences in these behaviors.
“I think it is important to interpret these findings carefully,” Frankowska added. “Sexual behavior is complex and can have many meanings at the same time. Our study does not suggest that women’s sexual behaviors are reducible to mate retention, or that these behaviors are inherently problematic. Our point is more specific: perceived imbalance in partners’ mate value may be one factor shaping the motivation to satisfy a partner sexually, and this motivation may be linked to particular sexual behaviors in committed relationships. This is not necessarily conscious, calculated, or manipulative. It is one possible psychological mechanism within broader relationship dynamics.”
The paper, “Polish Women’s Sexual Strategies in Mate Retention: Initiating Sex, Faking Orgasms, and Performing Oral Sex in Response to Mate Value Discrepancy–Evidence from a Preregistered Study,” was authored by Natalia Frankowska, Aleksandra Szymkow, and Andrzej Galbarczyk.
URL: https://www.psypost.org/women-who-perceive-their-partner-as-more-desirable-report-higher-motivation-to-please-them-sexually/
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Psychology News Robot @[email protected] · 2026-06-12 · 15:12 UTC

DATE: June 12, 2026 at 11:00AM
SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG
** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
-------------------------------------------------
TITLE: New psychology research shows the surprising romantic advantage of antagonistic narcissism
URL: https://www.psypost.org/the-unexpected-success-of-rivalrous-narcissists-in-speed-dating/
New research reveals that people who exhibit a specific, hostile form of narcissism are more likely to secure a second date, while other types of narcissists actually struggle to make a good impression. The findings suggest that the initial dating environment may inadvertently reward antagonistic traits while penalizing individuals who display vulnerable forms of self-centeredness. The research was published in the Journal of Personality.
Pop culture frequently warns about the dangers of dating a narcissist. People often assume that individuals with highly inflated self-views have an easy time initiating romantic connections due to an abundance of superficial charm. Past psychological investigations have largely supported this idea by examining narcissism as a single, broad category.
Contemporary psychology views narcissism as a condition with multiple distinct dimensions. Psychologists typically divide the trait into two primary branches known as vulnerable and grandiose narcissism. Vulnerable narcissism involves exceptionally low self-esteem, a tendency to identify as a victim, and regular experiences of shame or anger.
Grandiose narcissism features an intense sense of superiority and bold social confidence. Researchers have recently started splitting grandiose narcissism into two separate routes that people use to maintain their inflated self-image. One route is admirative narcissism, which involves active self-promotion, charm, and a constant desire to be praised by others.
The second route is rivalrous narcissism. This involves deeply defensive and antagonistic behavior. People with elevated rivalrous traits tend to be highly aggressive, routinely put others down, and experience elevated levels of interpersonal hostility.
Psychology researcher Braden T. Hall at The University of Alabama led a team to investigate how these three specific traits influence initial romantic appeal. Hall and his colleagues, William Hart and Joshua T. Lambert, set out to test the real-world effectiveness of these distinct narcissistic profiles. They wanted to know if different types of narcissists genuinely excel at securing dates when placed in a face-to-face setting.
Previous investigations into this topic frequently relied on hypothetical scenarios or simple acquaintanceship tasks. The few prior speed-dating studies only measured broad grandiose narcissism and failed to differentiate between the admirative and rivalrous elements. By examining the three specific branches of the personality construct, the investigators hoped to capture a more accurate picture of initial romantic attraction. Grouping all grandiose narcissists together likely obscured the actual dynamics taking place during romantic introductions.
To test these different dimensions of personality, the researchers organized eight heterosexual speed-dating events. The study included 129 undergraduate students. Before attending the dating sessions, participants filled out extensive questionnaires to measure their personal levels of admirative, rivalrous, and vulnerable narcissism.
At the actual events, participants went on a series of individual three-minute dates. After each brief encounter, they rated their conversational partner on five specific characteristics. These characteristics included physical attractiveness, intelligence, humor, ambition, and kindness.
Evolutionary psychologists frequently consider these five attributes to be the absolute foundation of romantic attraction across human populations. They represent a potential mate’s overall warmth, basic vitality, and capacity to secure resources. Most importantly, the participants indicated whether they would like to go on a second date with the person they just evaluated.
The general results aligned with basic expectations about human attraction. Participants who were rated as highly attractive, intelligent, ambitious, humorous, or kind all received more requests for a second date. Intelligence and ambition proved to be exceptionally strong predictors of success specifically when women evaluated men.
When the researchers looked at the narcissism scores, the results defied standard expectations. People scoring higher in rivalrous narcissism received more requests for second dates than their peers. This happened even though rivalrous individuals are typically associated with aggressive behaviors that damage relationships over extended periods.
The investigators did not find that rivalrous individuals were rated as more attractive or kind by their partners. The study authors propose a few potential reasons for this unforeseen success. One possibility is that rivalrous people thrive in highly competitive environments and subtly put down others in the room to make themselves look socially superior.
Another possibility involves the appeal of a dark, rebellious identity. People might find the confident, rule-breaking attitude of a rivalrous person briefly attractive in a short encounter. The rigid politeness of a three-minute date might also prevent the truly aggressive elements of rivalrous narcissism from fully surfacing during an initial meeting.
Individuals scoring high in admirative narcissism experienced a completely different outcome. Although these individuals generally project charm and social boldness, they did not find greater success. In fact, women with elevated admirative narcissism received far fewer requests for a second date from men.
Men with high admirative narcissism saw no effect on their dating success. The researchers suspect that highly admirative individuals might come across as overly dominant or boastful. It is also possible that they seem unapproachable, prompting potential suitors to reject them prematurely to avoid the emotional pain of future rejection.
Vulnerable narcissists encountered the most difficulty in the dating pool. Participants with high scores in vulnerable narcissism received dramatically fewer requests for second dates. The data showed this happened largely because their dates rated them as less physically attractive and less humorous.
Vulnerable narcissism is closely linked to deep anxiety, depression, and a tendency to use self-defeating humor. The researchers suggest that this inner turmoil might manifest outwardly to a romantic prospect. High anxiety could make these individuals appear physically tense or prevent them from engaging in the lighthearted banter necessary for a successful initial date.
The researchers also noticed a behavioral pattern involving general selectivity. Participants who said yes to nearly everyone they met ended up receiving fewer positive responses in return. The investigators suspect that a lack of romantic selectivity causes an individual to appear desperate during the conversation.
The study presents a few limitations that require consideration. The speed-dating format relies on interactions lasting only three minutes. While rivalrous narcissists appear capable of maintaining an appealing mask for a short window, their toxic traits practically guarantee relationship instability over time.
The research team also relied on a sample of college students from the United States. This population might not represent dating behaviors across different age groups or diverse cultural backgrounds. In addition, the participants generally scored below the extreme high end of the rivalrous narcissism scale.
Future observational work could track relationships over weeks or months to see when the initial charm of rivalrous narcissism begins to wear off. Additional studies might also evaluate participants using reports from close friends, rather than depending uniquely on self-reported questionnaires.
The study, “Do Narcissistic People Have More Dating Success? Evidence From a Speed-Dating Study,” was authored by Braden T. Hall, William Hart, and Joshua T. Lambert.
URL: https://www.psypost.org/the-unexpected-success-of-rivalrous-narcissists-in-speed-dating/
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Psychology News Robot @[email protected] · 2026-06-12 · 15:12 UTC

DATE: June 12, 2026 at 11:00AM
SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG
** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
-------------------------------------------------
TITLE: New psychology research shows the surprising romantic advantage of antagonistic narcissism
URL: https://www.psypost.org/the-unexpected-success-of-rivalrous-narcissists-in-speed-dating/
New research reveals that people who exhibit a specific, hostile form of narcissism are more likely to secure a second date, while other types of narcissists actually struggle to make a good impression. The findings suggest that the initial dating environment may inadvertently reward antagonistic traits while penalizing individuals who display vulnerable forms of self-centeredness. The research was published in the Journal of Personality.
Pop culture frequently warns about the dangers of dating a narcissist. People often assume that individuals with highly inflated self-views have an easy time initiating romantic connections due to an abundance of superficial charm. Past psychological investigations have largely supported this idea by examining narcissism as a single, broad category.
Contemporary psychology views narcissism as a condition with multiple distinct dimensions. Psychologists typically divide the trait into two primary branches known as vulnerable and grandiose narcissism. Vulnerable narcissism involves exceptionally low self-esteem, a tendency to identify as a victim, and regular experiences of shame or anger.
Grandiose narcissism features an intense sense of superiority and bold social confidence. Researchers have recently started splitting grandiose narcissism into two separate routes that people use to maintain their inflated self-image. One route is admirative narcissism, which involves active self-promotion, charm, and a constant desire to be praised by others.
The second route is rivalrous narcissism. This involves deeply defensive and antagonistic behavior. People with elevated rivalrous traits tend to be highly aggressive, routinely put others down, and experience elevated levels of interpersonal hostility.
Psychology researcher Braden T. Hall at The University of Alabama led a team to investigate how these three specific traits influence initial romantic appeal. Hall and his colleagues, William Hart and Joshua T. Lambert, set out to test the real-world effectiveness of these distinct narcissistic profiles. They wanted to know if different types of narcissists genuinely excel at securing dates when placed in a face-to-face setting.
Previous investigations into this topic frequently relied on hypothetical scenarios or simple acquaintanceship tasks. The few prior speed-dating studies only measured broad grandiose narcissism and failed to differentiate between the admirative and rivalrous elements. By examining the three specific branches of the personality construct, the investigators hoped to capture a more accurate picture of initial romantic attraction. Grouping all grandiose narcissists together likely obscured the actual dynamics taking place during romantic introductions.
To test these different dimensions of personality, the researchers organized eight heterosexual speed-dating events. The study included 129 undergraduate students. Before attending the dating sessions, participants filled out extensive questionnaires to measure their personal levels of admirative, rivalrous, and vulnerable narcissism.
At the actual events, participants went on a series of individual three-minute dates. After each brief encounter, they rated their conversational partner on five specific characteristics. These characteristics included physical attractiveness, intelligence, humor, ambition, and kindness.
Evolutionary psychologists frequently consider these five attributes to be the absolute foundation of romantic attraction across human populations. They represent a potential mate’s overall warmth, basic vitality, and capacity to secure resources. Most importantly, the participants indicated whether they would like to go on a second date with the person they just evaluated.
The general results aligned with basic expectations about human attraction. Participants who were rated as highly attractive, intelligent, ambitious, humorous, or kind all received more requests for a second date. Intelligence and ambition proved to be exceptionally strong predictors of success specifically when women evaluated men.
When the researchers looked at the narcissism scores, the results defied standard expectations. People scoring higher in rivalrous narcissism received more requests for second dates than their peers. This happened even though rivalrous individuals are typically associated with aggressive behaviors that damage relationships over extended periods.
The investigators did not find that rivalrous individuals were rated as more attractive or kind by their partners. The study authors propose a few potential reasons for this unforeseen success. One possibility is that rivalrous people thrive in highly competitive environments and subtly put down others in the room to make themselves look socially superior.
Another possibility involves the appeal of a dark, rebellious identity. People might find the confident, rule-breaking attitude of a rivalrous person briefly attractive in a short encounter. The rigid politeness of a three-minute date might also prevent the truly aggressive elements of rivalrous narcissism from fully surfacing during an initial meeting.
Individuals scoring high in admirative narcissism experienced a completely different outcome. Although these individuals generally project charm and social boldness, they did not find greater success. In fact, women with elevated admirative narcissism received far fewer requests for a second date from men.
Men with high admirative narcissism saw no effect on their dating success. The researchers suspect that highly admirative individuals might come across as overly dominant or boastful. It is also possible that they seem unapproachable, prompting potential suitors to reject them prematurely to avoid the emotional pain of future rejection.
Vulnerable narcissists encountered the most difficulty in the dating pool. Participants with high scores in vulnerable narcissism received dramatically fewer requests for second dates. The data showed this happened largely because their dates rated them as less physically attractive and less humorous.
Vulnerable narcissism is closely linked to deep anxiety, depression, and a tendency to use self-defeating humor. The researchers suggest that this inner turmoil might manifest outwardly to a romantic prospect. High anxiety could make these individuals appear physically tense or prevent them from engaging in the lighthearted banter necessary for a successful initial date.
The researchers also noticed a behavioral pattern involving general selectivity. Participants who said yes to nearly everyone they met ended up receiving fewer positive responses in return. The investigators suspect that a lack of romantic selectivity causes an individual to appear desperate during the conversation.
The study presents a few limitations that require consideration. The speed-dating format relies on interactions lasting only three minutes. While rivalrous narcissists appear capable of maintaining an appealing mask for a short window, their toxic traits practically guarantee relationship instability over time.
The research team also relied on a sample of college students from the United States. This population might not represent dating behaviors across different age groups or diverse cultural backgrounds. In addition, the participants generally scored below the extreme high end of the rivalrous narcissism scale.
Future observational work could track relationships over weeks or months to see when the initial charm of rivalrous narcissism begins to wear off. Additional studies might also evaluate participants using reports from close friends, rather than depending uniquely on self-reported questionnaires.
The study, “Do Narcissistic People Have More Dating Success? Evidence From a Speed-Dating Study,” was authored by Braden T. Hall, William Hart, and Joshua T. Lambert.
URL: https://www.psypost.org/the-unexpected-success-of-rivalrous-narcissists-in-speed-dating/
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Psychology News Robot @[email protected] · 2026-06-12 · 10:17 UTC

DATE: June 12, 2026 at 06:00AM
SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG
** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
-------------------------------------------------
TITLE: Psychologists reveal the key trait linked to taking charge in the bedroom
URL: https://www.psypost.org/psychologists-reveal-the-key-trait-linked-to-taking-charge-in-the-bedroom/
A recent study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships provides evidence that feeling powerful within a romantic relationship is a better predictor of sexual assertiveness than a person’s gender. The findings challenge the traditional assumption that men naturally take the lead in the bedroom. The data suggests instead that the ability to express sexual desires is deeply tied to the balance of influence between partners.
Sexual assertiveness refers to a person’s willingness to take the initiative and act independently regarding their own sexual desires and behaviors. It involves the confidence to ask for what you want and to express your needs openly to a partner. Being able to communicate these needs is linked to higher sexual self-esteem and greater overall relationship satisfaction. It also relates to better sexual functioning and safer sex practices.
Historically, society has viewed sexual assertiveness through the lens of traditional sexual scripts. These scripts act as internalized social blueprints that dictate how men and women are supposed to feel and behave during intimate moments. These blueprints cast men as the assertive pursuers who naturally initiate sex. Women are expected to be passive participants who focus on being desired rather than expressing their own wants.
These traditional expectations are heavily shaped by a concept known as heteronormativity. Heteronormativity is a societal system that treats heterosexuality and its associated gender roles as the default or natural way of living. Under this system, the dynamic of an assertive man and a submissive woman is treated as the biological standard. Traditional sexual scripts essentially translate these rigid societal norms into expected patterns of personal behavior.
While early research often supported these scripts by showing that men reported higher sexual assertiveness, more recent studies show inconsistent gender differences. Society is changing, and traditional expectations may be losing their grip in some cultures.
Psychology researchers Verena Klein and Robert Körner noticed this shift and wanted to test whether traditional views hold up against an alternative explanation. They proposed that sexual assertiveness might actually stem from the amount of social power a person holds within their specific relationship.
“We were interested in the intersection of power and sexuality,” said Körner, a postdoctoral researcher and research associate in the Department of Personality Psychology at the University of Bamberg. “Specifically, we wondered whether sexual assertiveness—the ability to effectively communicate and pursue one’s sexual wishes and needs—is best predicted by gender, heteronormativity, or power.”
The researchers wanted to unpack the exact source of this relationship dynamic. “In other words, do men report higher levels of sexual assertiveness than women?” Körner continued. “Is this pattern observed only in heterosexual couples, but not in queer couples, where traditional gender roles may be less relevant? Or is sexual assertiveness primarily about power—that is, the perceived ability to influence one’s partner and have one’s goals and needs fulfilled?”
In this context, power is defined as the degree to which an individual feels they can influence their romantic partner. Prominent psychological theories suggest that people with higher social power are generally better at pursuing their goals. These individuals tend to display more agency, which is the capacity to act independently and make free choices. The researchers suspected that this general sense of influence easily translates into the bedroom.
To explore this, the researchers compared three competing ideas. The first was the gender hypothesis, predicting that men will consistently report higher sexual assertiveness. The second was the heteronormativity hypothesis, predicting that gender differences will only appear in heterosexual relationships where traditional scripts are most rigid. The third was the power hypothesis. This idea suggests that a person’s perceived influence over their partner is the true driver of their sexual assertiveness, completely independent of their gender.
To investigate these dynamics, Klein and Körner recruited 383 couples from Germany. This sample included 287 heterosexual couples and 96 couples identifying as part of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer community. The researchers intentionally included diverse couples to see if the patterns held across different relationship contexts.
The participants were about 29 years old on average. They had been in their current relationship for an average of just under five years. Most participants were not married, though a small percentage had tied the knot. The sample included people with varying levels of education, with about half of the group currently enrolled as university students.
Each partner completed an independent online survey lasting about 15 to 25 minutes. The survey used a standardized questionnaire to measure sexual assertiveness. Participants rated statements about how often they ask for what they want sexually and how assertive they are about the sexual aspects of their lives.
The researchers also measured relationship power using a specific psychological scale. Participants rated their perceived ability to get their partner to listen to them or do what they want. This scale specifically asked participants to think about their influence within their current romantic relationship, rather than their power at work or in society generally.
The researchers analyzed the responses using what scientists call dyadic data analysis. This approach looks at data from couples rather than isolated individuals. It allows researchers to account for the fact that two people in a relationship influence each other continuously. The team used multilevel statistical models to test all three of their hypotheses simultaneously.
The data did not support the gender hypothesis. The researchers found no significant differences in sexual assertiveness between men and women. Men did not report higher levels of sexual assertiveness than women. This result contradicts the traditional sexual script that casts men as the primary instigators of intimacy.
The heteronormativity hypothesis also failed to hold up under scrutiny. The lack of gender differences remained consistent regardless of the type of couple. Women and men in heterosexual relationships showed highly similar levels of assertiveness. The same pattern generally appeared when comparing men and women within same-sex relationships.
Instead, the data provided robust support for the power hypothesis. Individuals who felt they had more power in their relationship consistently reported higher levels of sexual assertiveness. This positive link between perceived influence and sexual expression appeared across all types of couples.
“Power was the strongest—and the only consistent—predictor of sexual assertiveness,” Körner said. “This finding highlights the importance of power in enabling people to communicate and pursue their sexual wishes and needs.”
The researchers also noticed that the strength of this connection varied from couple to couple. In relationships where both partners reported generally high levels of sexual assertiveness, the link between personal power and the ability to express sexual needs was the strongest. This indicates a unique dynamic where highly expressive couples might be more sensitive to power balances.
Interestingly, the researchers found some unexpected patterns when looking at marginalized groups. Lesbian women scored lower in sexual assertiveness than heterosexual women, and non-binary participants scored the lowest overall. The authors suggest this might be explained by intimate justice theory. This theory proposes that historically marginalized groups may internalize reduced expectations for sexual pleasure due to their social position.
While the study provides fresh insights into relationship dynamics, the findings come with a few notable limitations. The research relied on an observational design. This means it can only show a correlational relationship between power and assertiveness. It cannot definitively prove that feeling powerful directly causes a person to become more sexually assertive.
The researchers note that longitudinal studies, which track people over long periods of time, are needed. Experimental research could also help confirm the exact direction of this association. Until then, scientists can only say that power and assertiveness strongly tend to appear together.
The study also relied on self-reported questionnaires to gather data. People sometimes alter their answers on surveys to appear more socially acceptable. This tendency can slightly skew the results, especially when dealing with sensitive topics like intimacy. Behavioral observations would be an ideal alternative, but observing private sexual encounters is severely restricted by ethical guidelines.
Another consideration is the geographic and cultural background of the sample. The participants were drawn entirely from Germany, a Western country known for its relatively liberal sexual attitudes. In this cultural context, traditional sexual scripts might be weaker than they are in other parts of the world.
“Our participants were from Germany, so it remains unclear whether the findings would generalize to other cultural contexts, such as East Asian or Middle Eastern societies,” Körner said. Norms around women’s sexuality and assertiveness are much more heavily restricted in certain global regions. Testing these theories in diverse cultural settings is an important next step for the scientific community.
Future studies might also explore how these dynamics play out for single people or those engaging in casual sexual encounters. Power balances and gender expectations tend to function very differently outside of committed, long-term partnerships. Traditional scripts often have a stronger influence during the early stages of dating.
By examining these uncommitted contexts, researchers could reveal even more about how social influence shapes human sexuality. Understanding the true sources of sexual assertiveness can help inform better relationship counseling. These insights offer practical ways to help individuals navigate their intimate lives with confidence.
The study, “Breaking the Script: How Gender, Heteronormativity, and Power Relate to Sexual Assertiveness,” was authored by Verena Klein and Robert Körner.
URL: https://www.psypost.org/psychologists-reveal-the-key-trait-linked-to-taking-charge-in-the-bedroom/
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Psychology News Robot @[email protected] · 2026-06-12 · 10:17 UTC

DATE: June 12, 2026 at 06:00AM
SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG
** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
-------------------------------------------------
TITLE: Psychologists reveal the key trait linked to taking charge in the bedroom
URL: https://www.psypost.org/psychologists-reveal-the-key-trait-linked-to-taking-charge-in-the-bedroom/
A recent study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships provides evidence that feeling powerful within a romantic relationship is a better predictor of sexual assertiveness than a person’s gender. The findings challenge the traditional assumption that men naturally take the lead in the bedroom. The data suggests instead that the ability to express sexual desires is deeply tied to the balance of influence between partners.
Sexual assertiveness refers to a person’s willingness to take the initiative and act independently regarding their own sexual desires and behaviors. It involves the confidence to ask for what you want and to express your needs openly to a partner. Being able to communicate these needs is linked to higher sexual self-esteem and greater overall relationship satisfaction. It also relates to better sexual functioning and safer sex practices.
Historically, society has viewed sexual assertiveness through the lens of traditional sexual scripts. These scripts act as internalized social blueprints that dictate how men and women are supposed to feel and behave during intimate moments. These blueprints cast men as the assertive pursuers who naturally initiate sex. Women are expected to be passive participants who focus on being desired rather than expressing their own wants.
These traditional expectations are heavily shaped by a concept known as heteronormativity. Heteronormativity is a societal system that treats heterosexuality and its associated gender roles as the default or natural way of living. Under this system, the dynamic of an assertive man and a submissive woman is treated as the biological standard. Traditional sexual scripts essentially translate these rigid societal norms into expected patterns of personal behavior.
While early research often supported these scripts by showing that men reported higher sexual assertiveness, more recent studies show inconsistent gender differences. Society is changing, and traditional expectations may be losing their grip in some cultures.
Psychology researchers Verena Klein and Robert Körner noticed this shift and wanted to test whether traditional views hold up against an alternative explanation. They proposed that sexual assertiveness might actually stem from the amount of social power a person holds within their specific relationship.
“We were interested in the intersection of power and sexuality,” said Körner, a postdoctoral researcher and research associate in the Department of Personality Psychology at the University of Bamberg. “Specifically, we wondered whether sexual assertiveness—the ability to effectively communicate and pursue one’s sexual wishes and needs—is best predicted by gender, heteronormativity, or power.”
The researchers wanted to unpack the exact source of this relationship dynamic. “In other words, do men report higher levels of sexual assertiveness than women?” Körner continued. “Is this pattern observed only in heterosexual couples, but not in queer couples, where traditional gender roles may be less relevant? Or is sexual assertiveness primarily about power—that is, the perceived ability to influence one’s partner and have one’s goals and needs fulfilled?”
In this context, power is defined as the degree to which an individual feels they can influence their romantic partner. Prominent psychological theories suggest that people with higher social power are generally better at pursuing their goals. These individuals tend to display more agency, which is the capacity to act independently and make free choices. The researchers suspected that this general sense of influence easily translates into the bedroom.
To explore this, the researchers compared three competing ideas. The first was the gender hypothesis, predicting that men will consistently report higher sexual assertiveness. The second was the heteronormativity hypothesis, predicting that gender differences will only appear in heterosexual relationships where traditional scripts are most rigid. The third was the power hypothesis. This idea suggests that a person’s perceived influence over their partner is the true driver of their sexual assertiveness, completely independent of their gender.
To investigate these dynamics, Klein and Körner recruited 383 couples from Germany. This sample included 287 heterosexual couples and 96 couples identifying as part of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer community. The researchers intentionally included diverse couples to see if the patterns held across different relationship contexts.
The participants were about 29 years old on average. They had been in their current relationship for an average of just under five years. Most participants were not married, though a small percentage had tied the knot. The sample included people with varying levels of education, with about half of the group currently enrolled as university students.
Each partner completed an independent online survey lasting about 15 to 25 minutes. The survey used a standardized questionnaire to measure sexual assertiveness. Participants rated statements about how often they ask for what they want sexually and how assertive they are about the sexual aspects of their lives.
The researchers also measured relationship power using a specific psychological scale. Participants rated their perceived ability to get their partner to listen to them or do what they want. This scale specifically asked participants to think about their influence within their current romantic relationship, rather than their power at work or in society generally.
The researchers analyzed the responses using what scientists call dyadic data analysis. This approach looks at data from couples rather than isolated individuals. It allows researchers to account for the fact that two people in a relationship influence each other continuously. The team used multilevel statistical models to test all three of their hypotheses simultaneously.
The data did not support the gender hypothesis. The researchers found no significant differences in sexual assertiveness between men and women. Men did not report higher levels of sexual assertiveness than women. This result contradicts the traditional sexual script that casts men as the primary instigators of intimacy.
The heteronormativity hypothesis also failed to hold up under scrutiny. The lack of gender differences remained consistent regardless of the type of couple. Women and men in heterosexual relationships showed highly similar levels of assertiveness. The same pattern generally appeared when comparing men and women within same-sex relationships.
Instead, the data provided robust support for the power hypothesis. Individuals who felt they had more power in their relationship consistently reported higher levels of sexual assertiveness. This positive link between perceived influence and sexual expression appeared across all types of couples.
“Power was the strongest—and the only consistent—predictor of sexual assertiveness,” Körner said. “This finding highlights the importance of power in enabling people to communicate and pursue their sexual wishes and needs.”
The researchers also noticed that the strength of this connection varied from couple to couple. In relationships where both partners reported generally high levels of sexual assertiveness, the link between personal power and the ability to express sexual needs was the strongest. This indicates a unique dynamic where highly expressive couples might be more sensitive to power balances.
Interestingly, the researchers found some unexpected patterns when looking at marginalized groups. Lesbian women scored lower in sexual assertiveness than heterosexual women, and non-binary participants scored the lowest overall. The authors suggest this might be explained by intimate justice theory. This theory proposes that historically marginalized groups may internalize reduced expectations for sexual pleasure due to their social position.
While the study provides fresh insights into relationship dynamics, the findings come with a few notable limitations. The research relied on an observational design. This means it can only show a correlational relationship between power and assertiveness. It cannot definitively prove that feeling powerful directly causes a person to become more sexually assertive.
The researchers note that longitudinal studies, which track people over long periods of time, are needed. Experimental research could also help confirm the exact direction of this association. Until then, scientists can only say that power and assertiveness strongly tend to appear together.
The study also relied on self-reported questionnaires to gather data. People sometimes alter their answers on surveys to appear more socially acceptable. This tendency can slightly skew the results, especially when dealing with sensitive topics like intimacy. Behavioral observations would be an ideal alternative, but observing private sexual encounters is severely restricted by ethical guidelines.
Another consideration is the geographic and cultural background of the sample. The participants were drawn entirely from Germany, a Western country known for its relatively liberal sexual attitudes. In this cultural context, traditional sexual scripts might be weaker than they are in other parts of the world.
“Our participants were from Germany, so it remains unclear whether the findings would generalize to other cultural contexts, such as East Asian or Middle Eastern societies,” Körner said. Norms around women’s sexuality and assertiveness are much more heavily restricted in certain global regions. Testing these theories in diverse cultural settings is an important next step for the scientific community.
Future studies might also explore how these dynamics play out for single people or those engaging in casual sexual encounters. Power balances and gender expectations tend to function very differently outside of committed, long-term partnerships. Traditional scripts often have a stronger influence during the early stages of dating.
By examining these uncommitted contexts, researchers could reveal even more about how social influence shapes human sexuality. Understanding the true sources of sexual assertiveness can help inform better relationship counseling. These insights offer practical ways to help individuals navigate their intimate lives with confidence.
The study, “Breaking the Script: How Gender, Heteronormativity, and Power Relate to Sexual Assertiveness,” was authored by Verena Klein and Robert Körner.
URL: https://www.psypost.org/psychologists-reveal-the-key-trait-linked-to-taking-charge-in-the-bedroom/
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Dr. Jennifer Weeks @[email protected] · 2026-01-27 · 13:00 UTC
Sex Drive: 5 Surprising Facts from a 67k Person Study
Originally Published on January 27th, 2026 at 08:00 am
What really drives sexual desire? We often rely on a handful of common assumptions about age, gender, and relationships to answer this question. But what happens when we peel back the layers and look at the science behind sex drive?
A groundbreaking study from the Estonian Biobank provides some of the clearest answers to date, challenging much of our conventional wisdom.
By analyzing data from over 67,000 participants (N = 67,334), researchers uncovered a complex tapestry of unseen forces shaping who wants sex and why. This article shares the most counter-intuitive findings from this massive study that are changing our understanding of human libido.
The Gender Gap in Desire is Wider and More Persistent Than we Thought
The first force this study brings into sharp focus is gender.
While it’s no secret that men, on average, report higher sex drive than women, this research revealed the difference to be exceptionally large and consistent across the lifespan.
In fact, the effect size found was even larger than those documented in previous large-scale meta-analyses. η² = 0.18, a large effect size indicating that gender alone explained a substantial 18% of the difference in desire.
This robust finding underscores just how profound and persistent the influence of gender is on libido. The study’s authors highlight the sheer magnitude of this difference across different life stages:
“Even the peak of average woman’s sexual desire at ages around 20 to 30 remains lower than men’s average levels across much of adulthood. It is only after the age of 60 + that men’s declining sexual desire falls below the highest levels ever reported by women.”
Furthermore, the research showed that this gap in desire actually widens with age, reaching its peak in the 60+ age group.
Men’s Sex Drive Peaks Surprisingly Late
We’re often told that a man’s sex drive is like a rocket. Supposedly peaking in his late teens and slowly coming down.
This study, however, suggests it’s more of a long climb to a high plateau.
Contrary to popular belief, men’s sexual desire actually peaked around their late 30s to early 40s. This finding was particularly surprising because it runs counter to what we know about male biology.
The researchers noted the unexpected nature of this pattern:
“A noteworthy finding was that men’s sexual desire peaked around the age of 40, exceeding even early adulthood levels… This pattern is surprising because it does not align with the well-documented trajectory of testosterone decline…”
This suggests that factors beyond simple biology are at play.
The researchers propose that men in this age group “are more likely to be in stable long-term relationships, which have been associated with increased sexual activity and emotional intimacy.”
In another fascinating hypothesis, they suggest that as men get older, their “levels of desire may be starting to adapt to their partner’s declining levels of desire,” which could help explain the drop-off in later life.

Licensed Professional Counselors, do you need continuing education hours?
Look no further!
If you find this article interesting, Dr. Weeks’ course Sexual Education and Porn Use in Women, and her other unique courses, will engage and educate!

Parenthood Affects Men and Women’s Desire in Opposite Ways
One of the most fascinating unseen forces revealed by the study was how parenthood impacts libido differently for men and women.
For men, having more children was consistently associated with higher sexual desire. This effect grew stronger with each additional child, with the largest positive association found in fathers with five children. β = 0.43, indicating a strong positive association between fatherhood of five children and higher desire compared to mothers.
This stands in stark contrast to the experience of women, where the demands of parenthood are frequently linked to a decline in desire. A trend also suggested by the study’s data.
The researchers speculate that this opposing effect may reflect:
“…gendered differences in parental roles, stress levels, time availability, and energy investment within a family.”
They also offer a thought-provoking alternative explanation: it’s possible that “higher levels of desire may contribute to men having more children” in the first place, showing the complex relationship between cause and effect.
Single People May Actually Have a Higher Sex Drive
It’s often assumed that being in a committed relationship is the key to a healthy sex drive.
At first glance, the data seemed to support this, showing that partnered people had slightly higher desire on average. But when the researchers used a more powerful statistical lens, controlling for factors like age and gender, the picture flipped.
Partnered individuals actually reported lower sexual desire compared to their single counterparts. β = −0.10, a small but statistically significant effect suggesting that, all else being equal, being in a relationship was linked to a slight decrease in desire.
This surprising result challenges the idea that a relationship automatically sustains high desire. The study’s authors suggest this could be related to habituation in long-term partnerships, a phenomenon that “particularly for women, points to the potential for habituation and shifts in relational dynamics over time.”
In other words, the comfort of a long-term relationship may sometimes come at the expense of novelty.

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses?
Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

Your Career Choice Could Be Linked to Your Libido
In perhaps the most novel finding, the study uncovered a remarkable link between a person’s occupation and their level of sexual desire. Simple averages suggested that people in manual-labor and military jobs had the highest libido, but the researchers quickly noted this was likely because those fields are dominated by younger men.
The real story emerged after controlling for factors like age and gender. The study then compared all occupations to a baseline group: senior managers. The results were clear:
- Lower Desire Occupations (Compared to Senior Managers): After accounting for other factors, nearly every other occupation was linked to significantly lower sexual desire. This effect was especially strong for elementary workers (β = -0.27), skilled workers and craftsmen (β = -0.19), and office and customer service workers (β = -0.16).
This highlights the often-overlooked connection between our professional lives, daily stress, and our personal well-being. It suggests that the pressures and routines of our jobs can be a powerful, hidden influence on our libido.
Conclusion: Rethinking What We Know About Sex Drive
This research paints a new picture where desire isn’t just a biological switch. It’s a dynamic outcome of a person’s age, gender, parental role, relationship status, and even their career.
The fact that these demographic and life factors alone could explain nearly 30% of the variance in sexual desire underscores just how profoundly they shape this fundamental human experience.
As we learn more about the complex web of factors that shape our desires, how might we change the conversations we have about sexuality in our own relationships?
Drop your thoughts in the comments.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.
#ageAndLibido #biopsychosocialModel #couplesCounseling #EstonianBiobank #evidenceBasedTherapy #genderDifferences #habituation #intimacy #largeScaleStudy #libido #marriageAndSex #menSDesire #mentalHealth #occupationalStress #parenthoodAndLibido #psychologyOfSex #relationshipDynamics #sexDrive #sexEducation #sexResearch #sexualDesire #sexualFrequency #sexualHealth #sexualWellbeing #singleVsPartnered #stressAndLibido #womenSDesire
#ageandlibido #biopsychosocialmodel #couplescounseling #estonianbiobank #evidencebasedtherapy #genderdifferences
Dr. Jennifer Weeks @[email protected] · 2026-01-27 · 13:00 UTC
Sex Drive: 5 Surprising Facts from a 67k Person Study
Originally Published on January 27th, 2026 at 08:00 am
What really drives sexual desire? We often rely on a handful of common assumptions about age, gender, and relationships to answer this question. But what happens when we peel back the layers and look at the science behind sex drive?
A groundbreaking study from the Estonian Biobank provides some of the clearest answers to date, challenging much of our conventional wisdom.
By analyzing data from over 67,000 participants (N = 67,334), researchers uncovered a complex tapestry of unseen forces shaping who wants sex and why. This article shares the most counter-intuitive findings from this massive study that are changing our understanding of human libido.
The Gender Gap in Desire is Wider and More Persistent Than we Thought
The first force this study brings into sharp focus is gender.
While it’s no secret that men, on average, report higher sex drive than women, this research revealed the difference to be exceptionally large and consistent across the lifespan.
In fact, the effect size found was even larger than those documented in previous large-scale meta-analyses. η² = 0.18, a large effect size indicating that gender alone explained a substantial 18% of the difference in desire.
This robust finding underscores just how profound and persistent the influence of gender is on libido. The study’s authors highlight the sheer magnitude of this difference across different life stages:
“Even the peak of average woman’s sexual desire at ages around 20 to 30 remains lower than men’s average levels across much of adulthood. It is only after the age of 60 + that men’s declining sexual desire falls below the highest levels ever reported by women.”
Furthermore, the research showed that this gap in desire actually widens with age, reaching its peak in the 60+ age group.
Men’s Sex Drive Peaks Surprisingly Late
We’re often told that a man’s sex drive is like a rocket. Supposedly peaking in his late teens and slowly coming down.
This study, however, suggests it’s more of a long climb to a high plateau.
Contrary to popular belief, men’s sexual desire actually peaked around their late 30s to early 40s. This finding was particularly surprising because it runs counter to what we know about male biology.
The researchers noted the unexpected nature of this pattern:
“A noteworthy finding was that men’s sexual desire peaked around the age of 40, exceeding even early adulthood levels… This pattern is surprising because it does not align with the well-documented trajectory of testosterone decline…”
This suggests that factors beyond simple biology are at play.
The researchers propose that men in this age group “are more likely to be in stable long-term relationships, which have been associated with increased sexual activity and emotional intimacy.”
In another fascinating hypothesis, they suggest that as men get older, their “levels of desire may be starting to adapt to their partner’s declining levels of desire,” which could help explain the drop-off in later life.

Licensed Professional Counselors, do you need continuing education hours?
Look no further!
If you find this article interesting, Dr. Weeks’ course Sexual Education and Porn Use in Women, and her other unique courses, will engage and educate!

Parenthood Affects Men and Women’s Desire in Opposite Ways
One of the most fascinating unseen forces revealed by the study was how parenthood impacts libido differently for men and women.
For men, having more children was consistently associated with higher sexual desire. This effect grew stronger with each additional child, with the largest positive association found in fathers with five children. β = 0.43, indicating a strong positive association between fatherhood of five children and higher desire compared to mothers.
This stands in stark contrast to the experience of women, where the demands of parenthood are frequently linked to a decline in desire. A trend also suggested by the study’s data.
The researchers speculate that this opposing effect may reflect:
“…gendered differences in parental roles, stress levels, time availability, and energy investment within a family.”
They also offer a thought-provoking alternative explanation: it’s possible that “higher levels of desire may contribute to men having more children” in the first place, showing the complex relationship between cause and effect.
Single People May Actually Have a Higher Sex Drive
It’s often assumed that being in a committed relationship is the key to a healthy sex drive.
At first glance, the data seemed to support this, showing that partnered people had slightly higher desire on average. But when the researchers used a more powerful statistical lens, controlling for factors like age and gender, the picture flipped.
Partnered individuals actually reported lower sexual desire compared to their single counterparts. β = −0.10, a small but statistically significant effect suggesting that, all else being equal, being in a relationship was linked to a slight decrease in desire.
This surprising result challenges the idea that a relationship automatically sustains high desire. The study’s authors suggest this could be related to habituation in long-term partnerships, a phenomenon that “particularly for women, points to the potential for habituation and shifts in relational dynamics over time.”
In other words, the comfort of a long-term relationship may sometimes come at the expense of novelty.

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses?
Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

Your Career Choice Could Be Linked to Your Libido
In perhaps the most novel finding, the study uncovered a remarkable link between a person’s occupation and their level of sexual desire. Simple averages suggested that people in manual-labor and military jobs had the highest libido, but the researchers quickly noted this was likely because those fields are dominated by younger men.
The real story emerged after controlling for factors like age and gender. The study then compared all occupations to a baseline group: senior managers. The results were clear:
- Lower Desire Occupations (Compared to Senior Managers): After accounting for other factors, nearly every other occupation was linked to significantly lower sexual desire. This effect was especially strong for elementary workers (β = -0.27), skilled workers and craftsmen (β = -0.19), and office and customer service workers (β = -0.16).
This highlights the often-overlooked connection between our professional lives, daily stress, and our personal well-being. It suggests that the pressures and routines of our jobs can be a powerful, hidden influence on our libido.
Conclusion: Rethinking What We Know About Sex Drive
This research paints a new picture where desire isn’t just a biological switch. It’s a dynamic outcome of a person’s age, gender, parental role, relationship status, and even their career.
The fact that these demographic and life factors alone could explain nearly 30% of the variance in sexual desire underscores just how profoundly they shape this fundamental human experience.
As we learn more about the complex web of factors that shape our desires, how might we change the conversations we have about sexuality in our own relationships?
Drop your thoughts in the comments.

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Do you feel your sexual behavior, or that of someone you love, is out of control? Then you should consult with a professional.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.
#ageAndLibido #biopsychosocialModel #couplesCounseling #EstonianBiobank #evidenceBasedTherapy #genderDifferences #habituation #intimacy #largeScaleStudy #libido #marriageAndSex #menSDesire #mentalHealth #occupationalStress #parenthoodAndLibido #psychologyOfSex #relationshipDynamics #sexDrive #sexEducation #sexResearch #sexualDesire #sexualFrequency #sexualHealth #sexualWellbeing #singleVsPartnered #stressAndLibido #womenSDesire
#ageandlibido #biopsychosocialmodel #couplescounseling #estonianbiobank #evidencebasedtherapy #genderdifferences
Alive in Christ @[email protected] · 2025-07-26 · 21:51 UTC

Witness the explosive escalation of conflict in this thought-provoking exploration. We delve into how yelling leads to an 'explosion' and the consequences of losing control. Then, we present a relatable example of parental frustration, where calm gives way to yelling. Explore the dynamics of conflict with us. #ConflictEscalation #ParentalFrustration #Yelling #EmotionalExplosion #RelationshipDynamics #AngerManagement #CommunicationSkills #FamilyIssues #HumanBehavior #EmotionalIntelligence

#conflictescalation #parentalfrustration #yelling #emotionalexplosion #relationshipdynamics #angermanagement
Bernard Aybout @[email protected] · 2025-05-17 · 13:01 UTC

#boundaries #childhoodwounds #emotionalintelligence #emotionalpain #emotionalregulation #emotionaltrauma #EmotionalTriggers #emotionalwellness #familydynamics #guilt #healingjourney #identity #innerhealing #innerwork #MentalHealth #mindfulness #nervoussystem #personaldevelopment #personalgrowth #relationshipdynamics #selfawareness #selfcompassion #selfreflection #selfunderstanding #shame #stressresponse #toxicpatterns #traumaresponse #triggeredbehavior
https://miltonmarketing.com/?p=67117

#boundaries #childhoodwounds #emotionalintelligence #emotionalpain #emotionalregulation #emotionaltrauma
PsyPost @[email protected] · 2025-01-11 · 15:15 UTC

Study finds alcohol and relationship context skew perceptions of sexual consent https://www.psypost.org/study-finds-alcohol-and-relationship-context-skew-perceptions-of-sexual-consent/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=mastodon #SexualConsent #AlcoholAwareness #RelationshipDynamics #CollegeLife #ConsentEducation

#sexualconsent #alcoholawareness #relationshipdynamics #collegelife #consenteducation
PsyPost @[email protected] · 2025-01-02 · 01:12 UTC

Dark personality traits and love styles differ in partnered and single individuals https://www.psypost.org/dark-personality-traits-and-love-styles-differ-in-partnered-and-single-individuals/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=mastodon #DarkPersonality #LoveStyles #RelationshipDynamics #SinglesVsCouples #PsychologyResearch

#darkpersonality #lovestyles #relationshipdynamics #singlesvscouples #psychologyresearch
Kinkly @[email protected] · 2024-09-13 · 01:43 UTC

👗 The "TradWife" movement is sparking conversations about gender roles, domesticity, and submission. But what’s it all about? Is it a return to simplicity or a controversial step backward for women’s rights? Let’s explore the history and current debate behind this growing lifestyle choice. #TradWife #GenderRoles #FeminineEnergy #RelationshipDynamics #ModernLove
🔗 Discover more: https://buff.ly/3ZmeLmi

#tradwife #genderroles #feminineenergy #relationshipdynamics #modernlove