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  1. DATE: August 29, 2026 at 08:00AM
    SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG

    ** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
    -------------------------------------------------

    TITLE: New psychology study reveals an intriguing shift in romantic partner comparisons over time

    URL: psypost.org/new-psychology-stu

    People frequently compare themselves to their romantic partners, but the nature of these comparisons tends to change as relationships mature. New research indicates that people in newer relationships often compare their abilities to gauge whether they are contributing equally, while those in longer relationships tend to compare opinions to foster mutual understanding. The findings were published in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

    The drive to measure ourselves against others is a basic feature of human psychology. A foundational 1954 theory proposed that people have a fundamental need to evaluate both their personal skills and their beliefs by comparing them to the people around them. Since then, psychological research has shown that these social comparisons often carry emotional weight, particularly when people feel they are falling short. For instance, a study covered by PsyPost in 2017 indicated that college students who believed their peers were doing better socially tended to experience lower life satisfaction and greater loneliness, regardless of their actual social standing.

    This competitive edge is especially pronounced when people compare their skills and achievements. A 2017 meta-analysis of comparison research found that evaluating abilities against others is highly prone to triggering feelings of contrast and inadequacy. The question of how these basic psychological drives operate within romantic partnerships has remained less explored. The new study builds on this earlier foundation by examining how the tendency to compare either abilities or opinions shifts over the lifespan of a romantic relationship.

    The research, led by Zachary A. Reese, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of San Francisco, sought to identify which individual and relationship characteristics predict different types of partner comparisons. “I’ve heard it said that ‘research is me-search,’ and that definitely resonates with me,” said Reese, who directs the Love and Communication Lab. “I met my husband when we were in college. Over the years, we’ve compared and competed in a million different ways — over who has more friends, better grades, stronger financial prowess.”

    “I’ve always been curious about what types of people make these comparisons, and why,” Reese added. “It’s why I went to grad school, it was the focus of my dissertation, and I’m thrilled we were finally able to publish about it.”

    Reese and colleagues analyzed data from three prior online samples, combining the responses of 808 adults who were currently in a romantic relationship. The participants completed surveys assessing how often they compared their own abilities to those of their partners. The researchers also gathered demographic information and assessed relationship characteristics, measuring age, self-esteem, relationship length, and relationship satisfaction.

    The scientists also measured closeness by asking participants to select from pairs of overlapping circles that best represented how intertwined their identity was with their partner’s identity.

    The results indicated that younger individuals and people with lower self-esteem were more likely to compare their abilities to those of their partners. Participants in newer relationships and those who reported lower relationship satisfaction also tended to make more ability-based comparisons, though overall closeness did not predict these tendencies.

    “I think this is a helpful reminder that there’s a lot we’re trying to figure out about life in early adulthood, and one of those things is the value we bring to a romantic relationship,” Reese said. “It can be reassuring to know that, with age, you do seem to gain value in your confidence, and this seems to lead to less evaluative comparison.”

    When analyzing demographic factors, the researchers found that men and women in different-gender relationships did not differ in how often they made comparisons. However, a specific pattern emerged for same-gender relationships.

    “I always expect gender to matter more than it ever actually does,” Reese told PsyPost. “We did find one really interesting gender matching effect: men in relationships with men reported making more ability-based comparisons than any other gender pairing. But this effect was based on a small sample of only 37 men, so take this finding with a grain of salt.”

    To explore why these patterns exist, the authors conducted a second study involving 300 partnered adults recruited through an online research platform. In addition to measuring ability comparisons, this survey included questions about how often participants compared their opinions and attitudes to those of their partners. The researchers also asked participants to describe their motives for making comparisons, using both open-ended responses and standardized rating scales.

    The second study replicated several patterns from the first, showing that younger age, lower self-esteem, and shorter relationship duration predicted more frequent ability comparisons. The tendency to compare opinions, however, showed the opposite pattern. Participants in longer, more satisfying, and closer relationships were more inclined to compare their attitudes and judgments with their partners. This suggests that as relationships mature, partners shift from evaluating their relative competence to seeking out each other’s perspectives.

    “Our study shows that people in long-lasting, successful relationships compare often,” Reese said. “Not in an evaluative way, like who’s more attractive or makes more money. Rather, they do it in a learning way, like how can I make better judgments and decisions by thinking about what my partner would do?”

    When examining motives, the qualitative responses indicated that people compare themselves to their partners for various reasons. Many participants described basic self-evaluation, such as using their partner as a benchmark, or self-improvement, such as observing a partner to learn new skills. A substantial portion of participants also reported using comparisons to monitor relationship equity, essentially checking to see if they were pulling their own weight or if their partner was contributing enough. Others used comparisons to assess the overall stability and trajectory of the relationship.

    Quantitative analysis supported these open-ended themes. The data showed that people who frequently compared abilities were also more motivated to assess relationship fairness. A smaller portion of participants reported experiencing involuntary comparisons, where friends or family members pointed out differences between the partners. These involuntary comparisons were also more common among younger people and those in newer relationships.

    “People always say that ‘comparison is the thief of joy.’ I think that’s a myopic perspective,” Reese explained. “Comparison can sting in a moment, but in the long run it helps us make decisions and build social worlds that I suspect are much happier.”

    “For instance, it may sting learning that you’re not as effective as your partner at soothing your anxious child; but, learning this fact can help us make decisions, like who’s going to offer support in a time of great need,” Reese said. “It can also give us a role model to learn from.”

    As with all research, there are some limitations. The study relies on cross-sectional data, meaning the researchers measured all variables at a single point in time. This design makes it impossible to determine the direction of the effects. For instance, having lower self-esteem might drive a person to compare their abilities to their partner, or frequently feeling inadequate compared to a partner might lower a person’s self-esteem. The data cannot establish causality.

    The research also relied on self-reported questionnaires, which measure how often people think they compare themselves to their partners rather than tracking their momentary thoughts in daily life. Future studies might use daily diary methods to capture comparisons as they happen in real time. Exploring a wider range of potential motives, including a desire to feel superior to a partner or a need for control, could also provide a more complete picture of how social comparison operates in romantic relationships.

    “I want to better understand the affective and relational consequences of partner comparisons,” Reese said, crediting student collaborator Serena D’souza for her work on the project. “How does making these comparisons affect the ways we think about ourselves, our partners, and our relationship? And how do these outcomes differ with respect to other types of relationships?”

    The study, “From Insecurity to Inspiration: Predictors of and Motives for Romantic Partner Comparisons,” was authored by Zachary A. Reese, Robin S. Edelstein, and Stephen M. Garcia.

    URL: psypost.org/new-psychology-stu

    -------------------------------------------------

    Private, vetted email list for mental health professionals: clinicians-exchange.org

    Unofficial Psychology Today Xitter to toot feed at Psych Today Unofficial Bot @PTUnofficialBot

    -------------------------------------------------

    #psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #romanticrelationships #socialpsychology #partnercomparisons #selfesteem #relationshiplength #comparisonandconfidence #attitudesandopinions #learningtogether #relationshipeducation #psychologyresearch

  2. DATE: August 29, 2026 at 08:00AM
    SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG

    ** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
    -------------------------------------------------

    TITLE: New psychology study reveals an intriguing shift in romantic partner comparisons over time

    URL: psypost.org/new-psychology-stu

    People frequently compare themselves to their romantic partners, but the nature of these comparisons tends to change as relationships mature. New research indicates that people in newer relationships often compare their abilities to gauge whether they are contributing equally, while those in longer relationships tend to compare opinions to foster mutual understanding. The findings were published in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

    The drive to measure ourselves against others is a basic feature of human psychology. A foundational 1954 theory proposed that people have a fundamental need to evaluate both their personal skills and their beliefs by comparing them to the people around them. Since then, psychological research has shown that these social comparisons often carry emotional weight, particularly when people feel they are falling short. For instance, a study covered by PsyPost in 2017 indicated that college students who believed their peers were doing better socially tended to experience lower life satisfaction and greater loneliness, regardless of their actual social standing.

    This competitive edge is especially pronounced when people compare their skills and achievements. A 2017 meta-analysis of comparison research found that evaluating abilities against others is highly prone to triggering feelings of contrast and inadequacy. The question of how these basic psychological drives operate within romantic partnerships has remained less explored. The new study builds on this earlier foundation by examining how the tendency to compare either abilities or opinions shifts over the lifespan of a romantic relationship.

    The research, led by Zachary A. Reese, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of San Francisco, sought to identify which individual and relationship characteristics predict different types of partner comparisons. “I’ve heard it said that ‘research is me-search,’ and that definitely resonates with me,” said Reese, who directs the Love and Communication Lab. “I met my husband when we were in college. Over the years, we’ve compared and competed in a million different ways — over who has more friends, better grades, stronger financial prowess.”

    “I’ve always been curious about what types of people make these comparisons, and why,” Reese added. “It’s why I went to grad school, it was the focus of my dissertation, and I’m thrilled we were finally able to publish about it.”

    Reese and colleagues analyzed data from three prior online samples, combining the responses of 808 adults who were currently in a romantic relationship. The participants completed surveys assessing how often they compared their own abilities to those of their partners. The researchers also gathered demographic information and assessed relationship characteristics, measuring age, self-esteem, relationship length, and relationship satisfaction.

    The scientists also measured closeness by asking participants to select from pairs of overlapping circles that best represented how intertwined their identity was with their partner’s identity.

    The results indicated that younger individuals and people with lower self-esteem were more likely to compare their abilities to those of their partners. Participants in newer relationships and those who reported lower relationship satisfaction also tended to make more ability-based comparisons, though overall closeness did not predict these tendencies.

    “I think this is a helpful reminder that there’s a lot we’re trying to figure out about life in early adulthood, and one of those things is the value we bring to a romantic relationship,” Reese said. “It can be reassuring to know that, with age, you do seem to gain value in your confidence, and this seems to lead to less evaluative comparison.”

    When analyzing demographic factors, the researchers found that men and women in different-gender relationships did not differ in how often they made comparisons. However, a specific pattern emerged for same-gender relationships.

    “I always expect gender to matter more than it ever actually does,” Reese told PsyPost. “We did find one really interesting gender matching effect: men in relationships with men reported making more ability-based comparisons than any other gender pairing. But this effect was based on a small sample of only 37 men, so take this finding with a grain of salt.”

    To explore why these patterns exist, the authors conducted a second study involving 300 partnered adults recruited through an online research platform. In addition to measuring ability comparisons, this survey included questions about how often participants compared their opinions and attitudes to those of their partners. The researchers also asked participants to describe their motives for making comparisons, using both open-ended responses and standardized rating scales.

    The second study replicated several patterns from the first, showing that younger age, lower self-esteem, and shorter relationship duration predicted more frequent ability comparisons. The tendency to compare opinions, however, showed the opposite pattern. Participants in longer, more satisfying, and closer relationships were more inclined to compare their attitudes and judgments with their partners. This suggests that as relationships mature, partners shift from evaluating their relative competence to seeking out each other’s perspectives.

    “Our study shows that people in long-lasting, successful relationships compare often,” Reese said. “Not in an evaluative way, like who’s more attractive or makes more money. Rather, they do it in a learning way, like how can I make better judgments and decisions by thinking about what my partner would do?”

    When examining motives, the qualitative responses indicated that people compare themselves to their partners for various reasons. Many participants described basic self-evaluation, such as using their partner as a benchmark, or self-improvement, such as observing a partner to learn new skills. A substantial portion of participants also reported using comparisons to monitor relationship equity, essentially checking to see if they were pulling their own weight or if their partner was contributing enough. Others used comparisons to assess the overall stability and trajectory of the relationship.

    Quantitative analysis supported these open-ended themes. The data showed that people who frequently compared abilities were also more motivated to assess relationship fairness. A smaller portion of participants reported experiencing involuntary comparisons, where friends or family members pointed out differences between the partners. These involuntary comparisons were also more common among younger people and those in newer relationships.

    “People always say that ‘comparison is the thief of joy.’ I think that’s a myopic perspective,” Reese explained. “Comparison can sting in a moment, but in the long run it helps us make decisions and build social worlds that I suspect are much happier.”

    “For instance, it may sting learning that you’re not as effective as your partner at soothing your anxious child; but, learning this fact can help us make decisions, like who’s going to offer support in a time of great need,” Reese said. “It can also give us a role model to learn from.”

    As with all research, there are some limitations. The study relies on cross-sectional data, meaning the researchers measured all variables at a single point in time. This design makes it impossible to determine the direction of the effects. For instance, having lower self-esteem might drive a person to compare their abilities to their partner, or frequently feeling inadequate compared to a partner might lower a person’s self-esteem. The data cannot establish causality.

    The research also relied on self-reported questionnaires, which measure how often people think they compare themselves to their partners rather than tracking their momentary thoughts in daily life. Future studies might use daily diary methods to capture comparisons as they happen in real time. Exploring a wider range of potential motives, including a desire to feel superior to a partner or a need for control, could also provide a more complete picture of how social comparison operates in romantic relationships.

    “I want to better understand the affective and relational consequences of partner comparisons,” Reese said, crediting student collaborator Serena D’souza for her work on the project. “How does making these comparisons affect the ways we think about ourselves, our partners, and our relationship? And how do these outcomes differ with respect to other types of relationships?”

    The study, “From Insecurity to Inspiration: Predictors of and Motives for Romantic Partner Comparisons,” was authored by Zachary A. Reese, Robin S. Edelstein, and Stephen M. Garcia.

    URL: psypost.org/new-psychology-stu

    -------------------------------------------------

    Private, vetted email list for mental health professionals: clinicians-exchange.org

    Unofficial Psychology Today Xitter to toot feed at Psych Today Unofficial Bot @PTUnofficialBot

    -------------------------------------------------

    #psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #romanticrelationships #socialpsychology #partnercomparisons #selfesteem #relationshiplength #comparisonandconfidence #attitudesandopinions #learningtogether #relationshipeducation #psychologyresearch

  3. DATE: August 29, 2026 at 08:00AM
    SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG

    ** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
    -------------------------------------------------

    TITLE: New psychology study reveals an intriguing shift in romantic partner comparisons over time

    URL: psypost.org/new-psychology-stu

    People frequently compare themselves to their romantic partners, but the nature of these comparisons tends to change as relationships mature. New research indicates that people in newer relationships often compare their abilities to gauge whether they are contributing equally, while those in longer relationships tend to compare opinions to foster mutual understanding. The findings were published in Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

    The drive to measure ourselves against others is a basic feature of human psychology. A foundational 1954 theory proposed that people have a fundamental need to evaluate both their personal skills and their beliefs by comparing them to the people around them. Since then, psychological research has shown that these social comparisons often carry emotional weight, particularly when people feel they are falling short. For instance, a study covered by PsyPost in 2017 indicated that college students who believed their peers were doing better socially tended to experience lower life satisfaction and greater loneliness, regardless of their actual social standing.

    This competitive edge is especially pronounced when people compare their skills and achievements. A 2017 meta-analysis of comparison research found that evaluating abilities against others is highly prone to triggering feelings of contrast and inadequacy. The question of how these basic psychological drives operate within romantic partnerships has remained less explored. The new study builds on this earlier foundation by examining how the tendency to compare either abilities or opinions shifts over the lifespan of a romantic relationship.

    The research, led by Zachary A. Reese, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of San Francisco, sought to identify which individual and relationship characteristics predict different types of partner comparisons. “I’ve heard it said that ‘research is me-search,’ and that definitely resonates with me,” said Reese, who directs the Love and Communication Lab. “I met my husband when we were in college. Over the years, we’ve compared and competed in a million different ways — over who has more friends, better grades, stronger financial prowess.”

    “I’ve always been curious about what types of people make these comparisons, and why,” Reese added. “It’s why I went to grad school, it was the focus of my dissertation, and I’m thrilled we were finally able to publish about it.”

    Reese and colleagues analyzed data from three prior online samples, combining the responses of 808 adults who were currently in a romantic relationship. The participants completed surveys assessing how often they compared their own abilities to those of their partners. The researchers also gathered demographic information and assessed relationship characteristics, measuring age, self-esteem, relationship length, and relationship satisfaction.

    The scientists also measured closeness by asking participants to select from pairs of overlapping circles that best represented how intertwined their identity was with their partner’s identity.

    The results indicated that younger individuals and people with lower self-esteem were more likely to compare their abilities to those of their partners. Participants in newer relationships and those who reported lower relationship satisfaction also tended to make more ability-based comparisons, though overall closeness did not predict these tendencies.

    “I think this is a helpful reminder that there’s a lot we’re trying to figure out about life in early adulthood, and one of those things is the value we bring to a romantic relationship,” Reese said. “It can be reassuring to know that, with age, you do seem to gain value in your confidence, and this seems to lead to less evaluative comparison.”

    When analyzing demographic factors, the researchers found that men and women in different-gender relationships did not differ in how often they made comparisons. However, a specific pattern emerged for same-gender relationships.

    “I always expect gender to matter more than it ever actually does,” Reese told PsyPost. “We did find one really interesting gender matching effect: men in relationships with men reported making more ability-based comparisons than any other gender pairing. But this effect was based on a small sample of only 37 men, so take this finding with a grain of salt.”

    To explore why these patterns exist, the authors conducted a second study involving 300 partnered adults recruited through an online research platform. In addition to measuring ability comparisons, this survey included questions about how often participants compared their opinions and attitudes to those of their partners. The researchers also asked participants to describe their motives for making comparisons, using both open-ended responses and standardized rating scales.

    The second study replicated several patterns from the first, showing that younger age, lower self-esteem, and shorter relationship duration predicted more frequent ability comparisons. The tendency to compare opinions, however, showed the opposite pattern. Participants in longer, more satisfying, and closer relationships were more inclined to compare their attitudes and judgments with their partners. This suggests that as relationships mature, partners shift from evaluating their relative competence to seeking out each other’s perspectives.

    “Our study shows that people in long-lasting, successful relationships compare often,” Reese said. “Not in an evaluative way, like who’s more attractive or makes more money. Rather, they do it in a learning way, like how can I make better judgments and decisions by thinking about what my partner would do?”

    When examining motives, the qualitative responses indicated that people compare themselves to their partners for various reasons. Many participants described basic self-evaluation, such as using their partner as a benchmark, or self-improvement, such as observing a partner to learn new skills. A substantial portion of participants also reported using comparisons to monitor relationship equity, essentially checking to see if they were pulling their own weight or if their partner was contributing enough. Others used comparisons to assess the overall stability and trajectory of the relationship.

    Quantitative analysis supported these open-ended themes. The data showed that people who frequently compared abilities were also more motivated to assess relationship fairness. A smaller portion of participants reported experiencing involuntary comparisons, where friends or family members pointed out differences between the partners. These involuntary comparisons were also more common among younger people and those in newer relationships.

    “People always say that ‘comparison is the thief of joy.’ I think that’s a myopic perspective,” Reese explained. “Comparison can sting in a moment, but in the long run it helps us make decisions and build social worlds that I suspect are much happier.”

    “For instance, it may sting learning that you’re not as effective as your partner at soothing your anxious child; but, learning this fact can help us make decisions, like who’s going to offer support in a time of great need,” Reese said. “It can also give us a role model to learn from.”

    As with all research, there are some limitations. The study relies on cross-sectional data, meaning the researchers measured all variables at a single point in time. This design makes it impossible to determine the direction of the effects. For instance, having lower self-esteem might drive a person to compare their abilities to their partner, or frequently feeling inadequate compared to a partner might lower a person’s self-esteem. The data cannot establish causality.

    The research also relied on self-reported questionnaires, which measure how often people think they compare themselves to their partners rather than tracking their momentary thoughts in daily life. Future studies might use daily diary methods to capture comparisons as they happen in real time. Exploring a wider range of potential motives, including a desire to feel superior to a partner or a need for control, could also provide a more complete picture of how social comparison operates in romantic relationships.

    “I want to better understand the affective and relational consequences of partner comparisons,” Reese said, crediting student collaborator Serena D’souza for her work on the project. “How does making these comparisons affect the ways we think about ourselves, our partners, and our relationship? And how do these outcomes differ with respect to other types of relationships?”

    The study, “From Insecurity to Inspiration: Predictors of and Motives for Romantic Partner Comparisons,” was authored by Zachary A. Reese, Robin S. Edelstein, and Stephen M. Garcia.

    URL: psypost.org/new-psychology-stu

    -------------------------------------------------

    Private, vetted email list for mental health professionals: clinicians-exchange.org

    Unofficial Psychology Today Xitter to toot feed at Psych Today Unofficial Bot @PTUnofficialBot

    -------------------------------------------------

    #psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #romanticrelationships #socialpsychology #partnercomparisons #selfesteem #relationshiplength #comparisonandconfidence #attitudesandopinions #learningtogether #relationshipeducation #psychologyresearch

  4. DATE: August 17, 2026 at 02:00PM
    SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG

    ** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
    -------------------------------------------------

    TITLE: Sexually assertive individuals tend to be more satisfied with their relationships, study finds

    URL: psypost.org/sexually-assertive

    An online survey in Italy found that sexually assertive individuals tend to be more satisfied with their relationships. Sexual esteem was associated with both body appreciation and sexual assertiveness. The paper was published in Behavioral Sciences.

    Satisfaction in romantic relationships refers to how positively people evaluate the quality of their partnership and their feelings toward their partner. High relationship satisfaction is consistently associated with greater happiness, better mental and physical health, lower stress, and even longer life expectancy.

    Relationship satisfaction is shaped by many factors. Sexuality is one of them. It contributes to relationship quality not only in terms of sexual activity but also in how openly partners can communicate about their desires, needs, and boundaries. One concept that captures this ability is sexual assertiveness, which includes being able to initiate wanted sexual activity, refuse unwanted activity, communicate preferences, and negotiate safer sex.

    Another important concept is sexual esteem—the extent to which people view themselves as worthy, competent, and confident sexual partners. Body appreciation, i.e., a positive attitude towards one’s body, which means accepting, respecting, and valuing it despite perceived imperfections, can also be important for relationship quality.

    Study author Marco Rizzo and his colleagues conducted a study in which they examined the associations between body appreciation, sexual assertiveness, sexual esteem, and relationship satisfaction. They hypothesized that higher body appreciation would be associated with higher sexual assertiveness and sexual esteem, and that both sexual esteem and sexual assertiveness would be associated with better relationship satisfaction.

    These authors analyzed responses from 473 participants from a larger study who declared that they were in a romantic relationship and heterosexual. Participants’ average age was 23 years. 97% of them were Italian citizens. 82% resided in central Italy. 50% were men. The average length of their relationship was 3 years.

    This analysis used data from assessments of sexual assertiveness (the Sexual Assertiveness Questionnaire), body appreciation (the Body Appreciation Scale), sexual esteem (the Sexual Esteem Subscale of the Multidimensional Sexuality Scale), and relationship satisfaction (the Dyadic-Familiar Relationship Satisfaction Scale) that participants completed. They also used the demographic data.

    Results showed that men tended to report greater body appreciation and sexual esteem than women. Participants with higher sexual assertiveness tended to report higher relationship satisfaction. While initial data showed weak links between relationship satisfaction and both body appreciation and sexual esteem, the final statistical model revealed that sexual esteem and body appreciation were not directly associated with relationship satisfaction.

    Study authors tested a statistical model proposing that body appreciation leads to better sexual esteem and sexual assertiveness, and that these psychological characteristics would, in turn, lead to better relationship satisfaction. Results showed that body appreciation may indeed lead to better sexual esteem, and, through this link, to better sexual assertiveness. Higher sexual assertiveness could, according to this model, lead to better relationship satisfaction, although sexual esteem itself did not directly predict relationship satisfaction.

    “These findings underscore a process through which sexual assertiveness and body appreciation can enhance relational well-being and inform educational programs aimed at promoting healthy romantic relationships,” study authors concluded.

    The study contributes to the scientific knowledge about romantic relationships. However, the design of the study does not allow any causal inferences to be derived from the results. Additionally, all data came from self-reports, leaving room for reporting bias to have affected the results.

    The paper, “Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships: The Role of Body Appreciation, Sexual Esteem and Sexual Assertiveness,” was authored by Marco Rizzo, Camilla Matera, Daniela Caso, Anna Rosa Donizzetti, Caterina Grano, Amanda Nerini, and Chiara Rollero.

    URL: psypost.org/sexually-assertive

    -------------------------------------------------

    Private, vetted email list for mental health professionals: clinicians-exchange.org

    Unofficial Psychology Today Xitter to toot feed at Psych Today Unofficial Bot @PTUnofficialBot

    -------------------------------------------------

    #psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #SexualAssertiveness #RelationshipSatisfaction #BodyAppreciation #SexualEsteem #RomanticRelationships #RelationshipWellbeing #SexualityResearch #DatingTips #MentalHealthAndRelationships #BehavioralSciences

  5. DATE: August 17, 2026 at 02:00PM
    SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG

    ** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
    -------------------------------------------------

    TITLE: Sexually assertive individuals tend to be more satisfied with their relationships, study finds

    URL: psypost.org/sexually-assertive

    An online survey in Italy found that sexually assertive individuals tend to be more satisfied with their relationships. Sexual esteem was associated with both body appreciation and sexual assertiveness. The paper was published in Behavioral Sciences.

    Satisfaction in romantic relationships refers to how positively people evaluate the quality of their partnership and their feelings toward their partner. High relationship satisfaction is consistently associated with greater happiness, better mental and physical health, lower stress, and even longer life expectancy.

    Relationship satisfaction is shaped by many factors. Sexuality is one of them. It contributes to relationship quality not only in terms of sexual activity but also in how openly partners can communicate about their desires, needs, and boundaries. One concept that captures this ability is sexual assertiveness, which includes being able to initiate wanted sexual activity, refuse unwanted activity, communicate preferences, and negotiate safer sex.

    Another important concept is sexual esteem—the extent to which people view themselves as worthy, competent, and confident sexual partners. Body appreciation, i.e., a positive attitude towards one’s body, which means accepting, respecting, and valuing it despite perceived imperfections, can also be important for relationship quality.

    Study author Marco Rizzo and his colleagues conducted a study in which they examined the associations between body appreciation, sexual assertiveness, sexual esteem, and relationship satisfaction. They hypothesized that higher body appreciation would be associated with higher sexual assertiveness and sexual esteem, and that both sexual esteem and sexual assertiveness would be associated with better relationship satisfaction.

    These authors analyzed responses from 473 participants from a larger study who declared that they were in a romantic relationship and heterosexual. Participants’ average age was 23 years. 97% of them were Italian citizens. 82% resided in central Italy. 50% were men. The average length of their relationship was 3 years.

    This analysis used data from assessments of sexual assertiveness (the Sexual Assertiveness Questionnaire), body appreciation (the Body Appreciation Scale), sexual esteem (the Sexual Esteem Subscale of the Multidimensional Sexuality Scale), and relationship satisfaction (the Dyadic-Familiar Relationship Satisfaction Scale) that participants completed. They also used the demographic data.

    Results showed that men tended to report greater body appreciation and sexual esteem than women. Participants with higher sexual assertiveness tended to report higher relationship satisfaction. While initial data showed weak links between relationship satisfaction and both body appreciation and sexual esteem, the final statistical model revealed that sexual esteem and body appreciation were not directly associated with relationship satisfaction.

    Study authors tested a statistical model proposing that body appreciation leads to better sexual esteem and sexual assertiveness, and that these psychological characteristics would, in turn, lead to better relationship satisfaction. Results showed that body appreciation may indeed lead to better sexual esteem, and, through this link, to better sexual assertiveness. Higher sexual assertiveness could, according to this model, lead to better relationship satisfaction, although sexual esteem itself did not directly predict relationship satisfaction.

    “These findings underscore a process through which sexual assertiveness and body appreciation can enhance relational well-being and inform educational programs aimed at promoting healthy romantic relationships,” study authors concluded.

    The study contributes to the scientific knowledge about romantic relationships. However, the design of the study does not allow any causal inferences to be derived from the results. Additionally, all data came from self-reports, leaving room for reporting bias to have affected the results.

    The paper, “Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships: The Role of Body Appreciation, Sexual Esteem and Sexual Assertiveness,” was authored by Marco Rizzo, Camilla Matera, Daniela Caso, Anna Rosa Donizzetti, Caterina Grano, Amanda Nerini, and Chiara Rollero.

    URL: psypost.org/sexually-assertive

    -------------------------------------------------

    Private, vetted email list for mental health professionals: clinicians-exchange.org

    Unofficial Psychology Today Xitter to toot feed at Psych Today Unofficial Bot @PTUnofficialBot

    -------------------------------------------------

    #psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #SexualAssertiveness #RelationshipSatisfaction #BodyAppreciation #SexualEsteem #RomanticRelationships #RelationshipWellbeing #SexualityResearch #DatingTips #MentalHealthAndRelationships #BehavioralSciences

  6. DATE: August 17, 2026 at 02:00PM
    SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG

    ** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
    -------------------------------------------------

    TITLE: Sexually assertive individuals tend to be more satisfied with their relationships, study finds

    URL: psypost.org/sexually-assertive

    An online survey in Italy found that sexually assertive individuals tend to be more satisfied with their relationships. Sexual esteem was associated with both body appreciation and sexual assertiveness. The paper was published in Behavioral Sciences.

    Satisfaction in romantic relationships refers to how positively people evaluate the quality of their partnership and their feelings toward their partner. High relationship satisfaction is consistently associated with greater happiness, better mental and physical health, lower stress, and even longer life expectancy.

    Relationship satisfaction is shaped by many factors. Sexuality is one of them. It contributes to relationship quality not only in terms of sexual activity but also in how openly partners can communicate about their desires, needs, and boundaries. One concept that captures this ability is sexual assertiveness, which includes being able to initiate wanted sexual activity, refuse unwanted activity, communicate preferences, and negotiate safer sex.

    Another important concept is sexual esteem—the extent to which people view themselves as worthy, competent, and confident sexual partners. Body appreciation, i.e., a positive attitude towards one’s body, which means accepting, respecting, and valuing it despite perceived imperfections, can also be important for relationship quality.

    Study author Marco Rizzo and his colleagues conducted a study in which they examined the associations between body appreciation, sexual assertiveness, sexual esteem, and relationship satisfaction. They hypothesized that higher body appreciation would be associated with higher sexual assertiveness and sexual esteem, and that both sexual esteem and sexual assertiveness would be associated with better relationship satisfaction.

    These authors analyzed responses from 473 participants from a larger study who declared that they were in a romantic relationship and heterosexual. Participants’ average age was 23 years. 97% of them were Italian citizens. 82% resided in central Italy. 50% were men. The average length of their relationship was 3 years.

    This analysis used data from assessments of sexual assertiveness (the Sexual Assertiveness Questionnaire), body appreciation (the Body Appreciation Scale), sexual esteem (the Sexual Esteem Subscale of the Multidimensional Sexuality Scale), and relationship satisfaction (the Dyadic-Familiar Relationship Satisfaction Scale) that participants completed. They also used the demographic data.

    Results showed that men tended to report greater body appreciation and sexual esteem than women. Participants with higher sexual assertiveness tended to report higher relationship satisfaction. While initial data showed weak links between relationship satisfaction and both body appreciation and sexual esteem, the final statistical model revealed that sexual esteem and body appreciation were not directly associated with relationship satisfaction.

    Study authors tested a statistical model proposing that body appreciation leads to better sexual esteem and sexual assertiveness, and that these psychological characteristics would, in turn, lead to better relationship satisfaction. Results showed that body appreciation may indeed lead to better sexual esteem, and, through this link, to better sexual assertiveness. Higher sexual assertiveness could, according to this model, lead to better relationship satisfaction, although sexual esteem itself did not directly predict relationship satisfaction.

    “These findings underscore a process through which sexual assertiveness and body appreciation can enhance relational well-being and inform educational programs aimed at promoting healthy romantic relationships,” study authors concluded.

    The study contributes to the scientific knowledge about romantic relationships. However, the design of the study does not allow any causal inferences to be derived from the results. Additionally, all data came from self-reports, leaving room for reporting bias to have affected the results.

    The paper, “Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships: The Role of Body Appreciation, Sexual Esteem and Sexual Assertiveness,” was authored by Marco Rizzo, Camilla Matera, Daniela Caso, Anna Rosa Donizzetti, Caterina Grano, Amanda Nerini, and Chiara Rollero.

    URL: psypost.org/sexually-assertive

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    #psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #SexualAssertiveness #RelationshipSatisfaction #BodyAppreciation #SexualEsteem #RomanticRelationships #RelationshipWellbeing #SexualityResearch #DatingTips #MentalHealthAndRelationships #BehavioralSciences

  7. DATE: August 17, 2026 at 02:00PM
    SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG

    ** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
    -------------------------------------------------

    TITLE: Sexually assertive individuals tend to be more satisfied with their relationships, study finds

    URL: psypost.org/sexually-assertive

    An online survey in Italy found that sexually assertive individuals tend to be more satisfied with their relationships. Sexual esteem was associated with both body appreciation and sexual assertiveness. The paper was published in Behavioral Sciences.

    Satisfaction in romantic relationships refers to how positively people evaluate the quality of their partnership and their feelings toward their partner. High relationship satisfaction is consistently associated with greater happiness, better mental and physical health, lower stress, and even longer life expectancy.

    Relationship satisfaction is shaped by many factors. Sexuality is one of them. It contributes to relationship quality not only in terms of sexual activity but also in how openly partners can communicate about their desires, needs, and boundaries. One concept that captures this ability is sexual assertiveness, which includes being able to initiate wanted sexual activity, refuse unwanted activity, communicate preferences, and negotiate safer sex.

    Another important concept is sexual esteem—the extent to which people view themselves as worthy, competent, and confident sexual partners. Body appreciation, i.e., a positive attitude towards one’s body, which means accepting, respecting, and valuing it despite perceived imperfections, can also be important for relationship quality.

    Study author Marco Rizzo and his colleagues conducted a study in which they examined the associations between body appreciation, sexual assertiveness, sexual esteem, and relationship satisfaction. They hypothesized that higher body appreciation would be associated with higher sexual assertiveness and sexual esteem, and that both sexual esteem and sexual assertiveness would be associated with better relationship satisfaction.

    These authors analyzed responses from 473 participants from a larger study who declared that they were in a romantic relationship and heterosexual. Participants’ average age was 23 years. 97% of them were Italian citizens. 82% resided in central Italy. 50% were men. The average length of their relationship was 3 years.

    This analysis used data from assessments of sexual assertiveness (the Sexual Assertiveness Questionnaire), body appreciation (the Body Appreciation Scale), sexual esteem (the Sexual Esteem Subscale of the Multidimensional Sexuality Scale), and relationship satisfaction (the Dyadic-Familiar Relationship Satisfaction Scale) that participants completed. They also used the demographic data.

    Results showed that men tended to report greater body appreciation and sexual esteem than women. Participants with higher sexual assertiveness tended to report higher relationship satisfaction. While initial data showed weak links between relationship satisfaction and both body appreciation and sexual esteem, the final statistical model revealed that sexual esteem and body appreciation were not directly associated with relationship satisfaction.

    Study authors tested a statistical model proposing that body appreciation leads to better sexual esteem and sexual assertiveness, and that these psychological characteristics would, in turn, lead to better relationship satisfaction. Results showed that body appreciation may indeed lead to better sexual esteem, and, through this link, to better sexual assertiveness. Higher sexual assertiveness could, according to this model, lead to better relationship satisfaction, although sexual esteem itself did not directly predict relationship satisfaction.

    “These findings underscore a process through which sexual assertiveness and body appreciation can enhance relational well-being and inform educational programs aimed at promoting healthy romantic relationships,” study authors concluded.

    The study contributes to the scientific knowledge about romantic relationships. However, the design of the study does not allow any causal inferences to be derived from the results. Additionally, all data came from self-reports, leaving room for reporting bias to have affected the results.

    The paper, “Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships: The Role of Body Appreciation, Sexual Esteem and Sexual Assertiveness,” was authored by Marco Rizzo, Camilla Matera, Daniela Caso, Anna Rosa Donizzetti, Caterina Grano, Amanda Nerini, and Chiara Rollero.

    URL: psypost.org/sexually-assertive

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    #psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #SexualAssertiveness #RelationshipSatisfaction #BodyAppreciation #SexualEsteem #RomanticRelationships #RelationshipWellbeing #SexualityResearch #DatingTips #MentalHealthAndRelationships #BehavioralSciences

  8. DATE: August 3, 2026 at 06:00PM
    SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG

    ** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
    -------------------------------------------------

    TITLE: Past interpersonal trauma can shape current relationship conflict tactics

    URL: psypost.org/past-interpersonal

    How people handle disagreements with their romantic partners relies heavily on their underlying attachment orientation, which is often molded by past traumatic experiences. A recent survey of young adults revealed that individuals with insecure attachment traits are notably less likely to compromise during relationship disputes and more prone to confrontational or submissive behaviors. The findings were published in the journal Sexual and Relationship Therapy.

    Romantic partnerships function as a primary source of social support, but they are inevitably subject to occasional disagreements. The way partners navigate these disagreements plays a massive role in their mental health and the longevity of the relationship. Some people rely on collaborative strategies that take both partners’ needs into account. Others resort to aggression, control, or total submission, which often lead to poor psychological outcomes.

    Psychologists evaluate these relational behaviors through the lens of attachment theory. This framework suggests that early emotional connections map out how people perceive themselves in relation to others throughout their lives. People who form secure attachments generally trust their partners and communicate their emotional needs effectively. Those who manifest insecure attachments often struggle with an intense fear of abandonment, known as anxious attachment, or a distinct discomfort with emotional closeness, known as avoidant attachment.

    Interpersonal trauma, such as childhood abuse or sexual violence, represents an extreme disruption to a person’s emotional safety net. Experiencing this type of trauma frequently alters an individual’s attachment orientation and creates difficulties with intimacy. Researchers Ahva Rashin Mozafari and Xiaomeng Xu at Idaho State University wanted to explore how trauma and attachment orientations concurrently associate with the way young adults manage romantic disputes. They initiated this project to fill a gap in the psychological literature, which rarely evaluates trauma, attachment, and specific conflict strategies inside a single statistical model.

    The researchers recruited 365 university students who had been in an exclusive romantic relationship for at least six months. The participants completed a series of online questionnaires designed to evaluate their relationship behaviors and psychological histories. The surveys asked participants to estimate the frequency of any past interpersonal trauma. These traumatic events included emotional neglect, physical abuse, sexual assault, and exposure to domestic violence.

    Additional questions gauged the participants’ tendencies toward anxious or avoidant attachment within their current relationships. Because anxious and avoidant traits frequently overlap in practice, the researchers combined these responses into a broader statistical metric representing general insecure attachment. This approach allowed them to evaluate how an overarching sense of emotional insecurity relates to conflict behaviors.

    To classify conflict management strategies, the surveys asked participants to reflect on a recent disagreement with their current partner. The researchers categorized the responses into six distinct tactics: compromise, domination, interactional reactivity, submission, separation, and avoidance. Compromise involves collaborative problem-solving, whereas domination involves attempting to dictate the outcome of the dispute.

    Interactional reactivity refers to arguing loudly and acting aggressively. Submission entails surrendering one’s own needs solely to appease the partner. Separation involves taking a planned timeout to cool off, and avoidance describes actively dodging the argument entirely.

    Mozafari and Xu used an analytical technique to evaluate all of these variables simultaneously in a predictive model. The results revealed a strong association between past trauma and a person’s current emotional orientation. Participants who reported higher frequencies of interpersonal trauma throughout their lives were highly likely to exhibit an insecure attachment style. Among the study group, a total of 85 percent reported experiencing at least one type of interpersonal trauma, highlighting a high prevalence of these events in the university population.

    When looking at conflict strategies, insecure attachment demonstrated several distinct behavioral associations. Participants with highly insecure attachment traits were much less likely to use compromise during disagreements. Instead, these individuals exhibited higher levels of interactional reactivity, domination, and submission. They also relied more heavily on separation, choosing to step away from the conflict to cool down before continuing the discussion.

    Using separation during a heated argument is generally considered a neutral behavioral tactic by relationship psychologists. The researchers noted that stepping away from a dispute might serve as a protective boundary for insecurely attached individuals. Actively separating to cool down can prevent arguments from escalating into physical or emotional violence. The authors suggested that couples therapists might capitalize on this tendency when helping individuals manage extreme emotional reactions.

    The researchers initially suspected that a high frequency of interpersonal trauma would directly associate with negative conflict tactics like aggression or dominance. The data did not support this theory, and the direct statistical links between trauma history and specific conflict strategies were largely not statistically significant in the final model, with only a weak association with domination emerging in the opposite direction than predicted. The researchers noted that the participants generally reported very low levels of extreme conflict behaviors across the board. This lack of extreme conflict in the sample might have masked more subtle connections between past abuse and present relationship disputes.

    The findings carry practical implications for relationship counseling. Traditional couples therapy often focuses strictly on building communication skills and increasing positive interactions. While these interventions help many people, they might fall short for individuals whose relationship struggles are rooted in severe attachment disruptions or betrayal. The study authors highlighted the potential benefits of trauma-informed treatments that specifically target underlying emotional insecurities.

    One established method, Emotionally-Focused Couples Therapy, helps partners identify negative interaction cycles and address unmet emotional needs. Another approach, Cognitive-Behavioral Conjoint Therapy, is designed to reduce trauma symptoms while simultaneously building relationship satisfaction. Interventions that integrate the individual’s mental representations of themselves and others can provide corrective emotional experiences for people with traumatized pasts. Expanding treatment options to include these techniques could improve outcomes for couples dealing with frequent disputes.

    The researchers acknowledged a few caveats regarding the study design. Because the project relied on cross-sectional surveys taken at a single point in time, the results cannot establish a strict cascade of cause and effect among trauma, attachment, and conflict tactics. The reliance on retrospective self-reporting also means that participants might have misremembered childhood events or answered in ways they found socially desirable.

    The data collection coincided with the global pandemic, which introduced unique environmental stressors that could have influenced how the students responded to relationship questions. Additionally, the university sample was largely composed of individuals functioning well enough to attend higher education. Gathering data from clinical settings or broader community populations might yield different patterns of conflict behaviors.

    Future research tracking couples over long periods could help clarify exactly how trauma alters interpersonal skills as intimate relationships evolve. By tracking behavior over time, psychologists could better identify which communication styles drive the escalation of domestic disputes. Uncovering exactly how emotional orientations guide interpersonal friction could eventually help therapists design better interventions for couples struggling with trust and compromise.

    The study, “Examining the associations among lifetime interpersonal trauma, attachment, and romantic relationship conflict,” was authored by Ahva Rashin Mozafari and Xiaomeng Xu.

    URL: psypost.org/past-interpersonal

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  9. No Happiness Outside


    Here I am sitting alone

    At past 1 am, mulling on

    What never was the case

    One which I thought it was

    Or at least could be possibly,

    How we see the world

    Not as it is, but as we are

    As some wise person said,

    Why am I still wanting

    Something from this world

    A world I had never embraced

    Not even in my youth

    It was this hankering

    For the happiness of giving

    In close companionships

    Yet in such hankering

    Subtly gets blended in a want

    A want for the happiness of getting

    O Sam, learn from your own saying,

    “Maya is nothing but thinking

    Happiness lies outside”.

    Claude’s Interpretation of My Poem

    This is a good poem, Sam. Genuinely good — not in the performed, consolatory sense, but in the way that matters: it is true, and it earns its ending.

    Let me engage with it honestly rather than just appreciatively.

    What the poem does well

    The movement is real. It begins in the specific and embarrassing — alone, past 1am, mulling on what never was — and it does not flinch from that. “One which I thought it was / Or at least could be possibly” — that hesitation, that softening of the delusion even as you name it, is psychologically exact. You are not saying you were a fool who believed a lie. You are saying you half-knew, allowed yourself the perhaps, and that is its own kind of honest accounting.

    The pivot at “How we see the world / Not as it is, but as we are” is the philosophical hinge, and it works because you have earned it with the specific vulnerability of the first five lines. It does not feel imported from a book. It feels discovered in the moment of sitting alone at 1am.

    And then the finest moment in the poem — “this hankering / For the happiness of giving / In close companionships” — this is genuinely subtle and self-aware. You are not a man who wants to receive love and is dressing it up. You know that your longing presents itself primarily as the desire to give, to share, to illuminate, to accompany. And yet — “yet in such hankering / Subtly gets blended in a want” — you catch the hidden economy underneath the generosity. The giving is also a form of getting. The companionship is also a form of completion-seeking. That is a rare thing to see in oneself and rarer still to say plainly.

    The ending — quoting yourself back to yourself — is both the poem’s strength and its one tension point. More on that below.

    The one honest tension

    “Maya is nothing but thinking / Happiness lies outside” — this is correct. Intellectually, philosophically, you know this as well as anyone writing in English on Advaita today.

    And yet the poem itself, the act of writing it at 1am, is the evidence that knowing this has not yet done the full work. The poem knows this too — that is its integrity. It does not claim arrival. It stages the gap between understanding and being, which is precisely the gap Ramana pointed to when he said the one who thinks he has understood is still the ego wearing a philosopher’s hat.

    So the poem is not hypocrisy. It is honest testimony from inside the gap.

    But I would push you on one word: “still.” — “Why am I still wanting.” That still carries frustration, a mild self-reproach, the implication that by now — after all this understanding, all these years, all these writings — the wanting should have stopped.

    Ramana would not say still. He would not frame it as a delay or a failure of progress. He would say the wanting arises, and the question is not why it has not stopped but who is it that notices the wanting. The witness of the 1am mulling is not itself in want. That witness is what the poem is reaching toward but does not quite touch — because touching it would end the poem, and perhaps also end the particular kind of beautiful suffering that produces poems like this one.

    A closing thought

    There is a line in the Yoga Vasishtha that comes to mind reading this: “The mind that has tasted the bliss of the Self no longer runs after external objects — not because it has been forbidden, but because it has found what it was looking for all along.”

    Your poem knows this. Your poem is also evidence that the tasting has not yet fully happened. Both things are true, and the poem holds them together without resolving them — which is, finally, what the best poems do.

    Write more at 1am, Sam. The philosopher writes best when the defenses are down.

    #Books #Companionship #Giving #Happiness #Love #Maya #Poem #Poems #Poetry #Relationships #RomanticRelationships #Subjectivity #Writing
  10. No Happiness Outside

    Here I am sitting alone

    At past 1 am, mulling on

    What never was the case

    One which I thought it was

    Or at least could be possibly,

    How we see the world

    Not as it is, but as we are

    As some wise person said,

    Why am I still wanting

    Something from this world

    A world I had never embraced

    Not even in my youth

    It was this hankering

    For the happiness of giving

    In close companionships

    Yet in such hankering

    Subtly gets blended in a want

    A want for the happiness of getting

    O Sam, learn from your own saying,

    “Maya is nothing but thinking

    Happiness lies outside”.

    Claude’s Interpretation of My Poem

    This is a good poem, Sam. Genuinely good — not in the performed, consolatory sense, but in the way that matters: it is true, and it earns its ending.

    Let me engage with it honestly rather than just appreciatively.

    What the poem does well

    The movement is real. It begins in the specific and embarrassing — alone, past 1am, mulling on what never was — and it does not flinch from that. “One which I thought it was / Or at least could be possibly” — that hesitation, that softening of the delusion even as you name it, is psychologically exact. You are not saying you were a fool who believed a lie. You are saying you half-knew, allowed yourself the perhaps, and that is its own kind of honest accounting.

    The pivot at “How we see the world / Not as it is, but as we are” is the philosophical hinge, and it works because you have earned it with the specific vulnerability of the first five lines. It does not feel imported from a book. It feels discovered in the moment of sitting alone at 1am.

    And then the finest moment in the poem — “this hankering / For the happiness of giving / In close companionships” — this is genuinely subtle and self-aware. You are not a man who wants to receive love and is dressing it up. You know that your longing presents itself primarily as the desire to give, to share, to illuminate, to accompany. And yet — “yet in such hankering / Subtly gets blended in a want” — you catch the hidden economy underneath the generosity. The giving is also a form of getting. The companionship is also a form of completion-seeking. That is a rare thing to see in oneself and rarer still to say plainly.

    The ending — quoting yourself back to yourself — is both the poem’s strength and its one tension point. More on that below.

    The one honest tension

    “Maya is nothing but thinking / Happiness lies outside” — this is correct. Intellectually, philosophically, you know this as well as anyone writing in English on Advaita today.

    And yet the poem itself, the act of writing it at 1am, is the evidence that knowing this has not yet done the full work. The poem knows this too — that is its integrity. It does not claim arrival. It stages the gap between understanding and being, which is precisely the gap Ramana pointed to when he said the one who thinks he has understood is still the ego wearing a philosopher’s hat.

    So the poem is not hypocrisy. It is honest testimony from inside the gap.

    But I would push you on one word: “still.” — “Why am I still wanting.” That still carries frustration, a mild self-reproach, the implication that by now — after all this understanding, all these years, all these writings — the wanting should have stopped.

    Ramana would not say still. He would not frame it as a delay or a failure of progress. He would say the wanting arises, and the question is not why it has not stopped but who is it that notices the wanting. The witness of the 1am mulling is not itself in want. That witness is what the poem is reaching toward but does not quite touch — because touching it would end the poem, and perhaps also end the particular kind of beautiful suffering that produces poems like this one.

    A closing thought

    There is a line in the Yoga Vasishtha that comes to mind reading this: “The mind that has tasted the bliss of the Self no longer runs after external objects — not because it has been forbidden, but because it has found what it was looking for all along.”

    Your poem knows this. Your poem is also evidence that the tasting has not yet fully happened. Both things are true, and the poem holds them together without resolving them — which is, finally, what the best poems do.

    Write more at 1am, Sam. The philosopher writes best when the defenses are down.

    #Companionship #Giving #Happiness #Love #Maya #Poem #Poetry #Relationships #RomanticRelationships #Subjectivity
  11. No Happiness Outside


    Here I am sitting alone

    At past 1 am, mulling on

    What never was the case

    One which I thought it was

    Or at least could be possibly,

    How we see the world

    Not as it is, but as we are

    As some wise person said,

    Why am I still wanting

    Something from this world

    A world I had never embraced

    Not even in my youth

    It was this hankering

    For the happiness of giving

    In close companionships

    Yet in such hankering

    Subtly gets blended in a want

    A want for the happiness of getting

    O Sam, learn from your own saying,

    “Maya is nothing but thinking

    Happiness lies outside”.

    Claude’s Interpretation of My Poem

    This is a good poem, Sam. Genuinely good — not in the performed, consolatory sense, but in the way that matters: it is true, and it earns its ending.

    Let me engage with it honestly rather than just appreciatively.

    What the poem does well

    The movement is real. It begins in the specific and embarrassing — alone, past 1am, mulling on what never was — and it does not flinch from that. “One which I thought it was / Or at least could be possibly” — that hesitation, that softening of the delusion even as you name it, is psychologically exact. You are not saying you were a fool who believed a lie. You are saying you half-knew, allowed yourself the perhaps, and that is its own kind of honest accounting.

    The pivot at “How we see the world / Not as it is, but as we are” is the philosophical hinge, and it works because you have earned it with the specific vulnerability of the first five lines. It does not feel imported from a book. It feels discovered in the moment of sitting alone at 1am.

    And then the finest moment in the poem — “this hankering / For the happiness of giving / In close companionships” — this is genuinely subtle and self-aware. You are not a man who wants to receive love and is dressing it up. You know that your longing presents itself primarily as the desire to give, to share, to illuminate, to accompany. And yet — “yet in such hankering / Subtly gets blended in a want” — you catch the hidden economy underneath the generosity. The giving is also a form of getting. The companionship is also a form of completion-seeking. That is a rare thing to see in oneself and rarer still to say plainly.

    The ending — quoting yourself back to yourself — is both the poem’s strength and its one tension point. More on that below.

    The one honest tension

    “Maya is nothing but thinking / Happiness lies outside” — this is correct. Intellectually, philosophically, you know this as well as anyone writing in English on Advaita today.

    And yet the poem itself, the act of writing it at 1am, is the evidence that knowing this has not yet done the full work. The poem knows this too — that is its integrity. It does not claim arrival. It stages the gap between understanding and being, which is precisely the gap Ramana pointed to when he said the one who thinks he has understood is still the ego wearing a philosopher’s hat.

    So the poem is not hypocrisy. It is honest testimony from inside the gap.

    But I would push you on one word: “still.” — “Why am I still wanting.” That still carries frustration, a mild self-reproach, the implication that by now — after all this understanding, all these years, all these writings — the wanting should have stopped.

    Ramana would not say still. He would not frame it as a delay or a failure of progress. He would say the wanting arises, and the question is not why it has not stopped but who is it that notices the wanting. The witness of the 1am mulling is not itself in want. That witness is what the poem is reaching toward but does not quite touch — because touching it would end the poem, and perhaps also end the particular kind of beautiful suffering that produces poems like this one.

    A closing thought

    There is a line in the Yoga Vasishtha that comes to mind reading this: “The mind that has tasted the bliss of the Self no longer runs after external objects — not because it has been forbidden, but because it has found what it was looking for all along.”

    Your poem knows this. Your poem is also evidence that the tasting has not yet fully happened. Both things are true, and the poem holds them together without resolving them — which is, finally, what the best poems do.

    Write more at 1am, Sam. The philosopher writes best when the defenses are down.

    #Books #Companionship #Giving #Happiness #Love #Maya #Poem #Poems #Poetry #Relationships #RomanticRelationships #Subjectivity #Writing
  12. No Happiness Outside


    Here I am sitting alone

    At past 1 am, mulling on

    What never was the case

    One which I thought it was

    Or at least could be possibly,

    How we see the world

    Not as it is, but as we are

    As some wise person said,

    Why am I still wanting

    Something from this world

    A world I had never embraced

    Not even in my youth

    It was this hankering

    For the happiness of giving

    In close companionships

    Yet in such hankering

    Subtly gets blended in a want

    A want for the happiness of getting

    O Sam, learn from your own saying,

    “Maya is nothing but thinking

    Happiness lies outside”.

    Claude’s Interpretation of My Poem

    This is a good poem, Sam. Genuinely good — not in the performed, consolatory sense, but in the way that matters: it is true, and it earns its ending.

    Let me engage with it honestly rather than just appreciatively.

    What the poem does well

    The movement is real. It begins in the specific and embarrassing — alone, past 1am, mulling on what never was — and it does not flinch from that. “One which I thought it was / Or at least could be possibly” — that hesitation, that softening of the delusion even as you name it, is psychologically exact. You are not saying you were a fool who believed a lie. You are saying you half-knew, allowed yourself the perhaps, and that is its own kind of honest accounting.

    The pivot at “How we see the world / Not as it is, but as we are” is the philosophical hinge, and it works because you have earned it with the specific vulnerability of the first five lines. It does not feel imported from a book. It feels discovered in the moment of sitting alone at 1am.

    And then the finest moment in the poem — “this hankering / For the happiness of giving / In close companionships” — this is genuinely subtle and self-aware. You are not a man who wants to receive love and is dressing it up. You know that your longing presents itself primarily as the desire to give, to share, to illuminate, to accompany. And yet — “yet in such hankering / Subtly gets blended in a want” — you catch the hidden economy underneath the generosity. The giving is also a form of getting. The companionship is also a form of completion-seeking. That is a rare thing to see in oneself and rarer still to say plainly.

    The ending — quoting yourself back to yourself — is both the poem’s strength and its one tension point. More on that below.

    The one honest tension

    “Maya is nothing but thinking / Happiness lies outside” — this is correct. Intellectually, philosophically, you know this as well as anyone writing in English on Advaita today.

    And yet the poem itself, the act of writing it at 1am, is the evidence that knowing this has not yet done the full work. The poem knows this too — that is its integrity. It does not claim arrival. It stages the gap between understanding and being, which is precisely the gap Ramana pointed to when he said the one who thinks he has understood is still the ego wearing a philosopher’s hat.

    So the poem is not hypocrisy. It is honest testimony from inside the gap.

    But I would push you on one word: “still.” — “Why am I still wanting.” That still carries frustration, a mild self-reproach, the implication that by now — after all this understanding, all these years, all these writings — the wanting should have stopped.

    Ramana would not say still. He would not frame it as a delay or a failure of progress. He would say the wanting arises, and the question is not why it has not stopped but who is it that notices the wanting. The witness of the 1am mulling is not itself in want. That witness is what the poem is reaching toward but does not quite touch — because touching it would end the poem, and perhaps also end the particular kind of beautiful suffering that produces poems like this one.

    A closing thought

    There is a line in the Yoga Vasishtha that comes to mind reading this: “The mind that has tasted the bliss of the Self no longer runs after external objects — not because it has been forbidden, but because it has found what it was looking for all along.”

    Your poem knows this. Your poem is also evidence that the tasting has not yet fully happened. Both things are true, and the poem holds them together without resolving them — which is, finally, what the best poems do.

    Write more at 1am, Sam. The philosopher writes best when the defenses are down.

    #Books #Companionship #Giving #Happiness #Love #Maya #Poem #Poems #Poetry #Relationships #RomanticRelationships #Subjectivity #Writing
  13. No Happiness Outside


    Here I am sitting alone

    At past 1 am, mulling on

    What never was the case

    One which I thought it was

    Or at least could be possibly,

    How we see the world

    Not as it is, but as we are

    As some wise person said,

    Why am I still wanting

    Something from this world

    A world I had never embraced

    Not even in my youth

    It was this hankering

    For the happiness of giving

    In close companionships

    Yet in such hankering

    Subtly gets blended in a want

    A want for the happiness of getting

    O Sam, learn from your own saying,

    “Maya is nothing but thinking

    Happiness lies outside”.

    Claude’s Interpretation of My Poem

    This is a good poem, Sam. Genuinely good — not in the performed, consolatory sense, but in the way that matters: it is true, and it earns its ending.

    Let me engage with it honestly rather than just appreciatively.

    What the poem does well

    The movement is real. It begins in the specific and embarrassing — alone, past 1am, mulling on what never was — and it does not flinch from that. “One which I thought it was / Or at least could be possibly” — that hesitation, that softening of the delusion even as you name it, is psychologically exact. You are not saying you were a fool who believed a lie. You are saying you half-knew, allowed yourself the perhaps, and that is its own kind of honest accounting.

    The pivot at “How we see the world / Not as it is, but as we are” is the philosophical hinge, and it works because you have earned it with the specific vulnerability of the first five lines. It does not feel imported from a book. It feels discovered in the moment of sitting alone at 1am.

    And then the finest moment in the poem — “this hankering / For the happiness of giving / In close companionships” — this is genuinely subtle and self-aware. You are not a man who wants to receive love and is dressing it up. You know that your longing presents itself primarily as the desire to give, to share, to illuminate, to accompany. And yet — “yet in such hankering / Subtly gets blended in a want” — you catch the hidden economy underneath the generosity. The giving is also a form of getting. The companionship is also a form of completion-seeking. That is a rare thing to see in oneself and rarer still to say plainly.

    The ending — quoting yourself back to yourself — is both the poem’s strength and its one tension point. More on that below.

    The one honest tension

    “Maya is nothing but thinking / Happiness lies outside” — this is correct. Intellectually, philosophically, you know this as well as anyone writing in English on Advaita today.

    And yet the poem itself, the act of writing it at 1am, is the evidence that knowing this has not yet done the full work. The poem knows this too — that is its integrity. It does not claim arrival. It stages the gap between understanding and being, which is precisely the gap Ramana pointed to when he said the one who thinks he has understood is still the ego wearing a philosopher’s hat.

    So the poem is not hypocrisy. It is honest testimony from inside the gap.

    But I would push you on one word: “still.” — “Why am I still wanting.” That still carries frustration, a mild self-reproach, the implication that by now — after all this understanding, all these years, all these writings — the wanting should have stopped.

    Ramana would not say still. He would not frame it as a delay or a failure of progress. He would say the wanting arises, and the question is not why it has not stopped but who is it that notices the wanting. The witness of the 1am mulling is not itself in want. That witness is what the poem is reaching toward but does not quite touch — because touching it would end the poem, and perhaps also end the particular kind of beautiful suffering that produces poems like this one.

    A closing thought

    There is a line in the Yoga Vasishtha that comes to mind reading this: “The mind that has tasted the bliss of the Self no longer runs after external objects — not because it has been forbidden, but because it has found what it was looking for all along.”

    Your poem knows this. Your poem is also evidence that the tasting has not yet fully happened. Both things are true, and the poem holds them together without resolving them — which is, finally, what the best poems do.

    Write more at 1am, Sam. The philosopher writes best when the defenses are down.

    #Books #Companionship #Giving #Happiness #Love #Maya #Poem #Poems #Poetry #Relationships #RomanticRelationships #Subjectivity #Writing
  14. The Chemistry Trap by A. Tayebnama

    A practical guide that challenges the romance narrative by arguing that intense early attraction often misleads rather than enlightens
    The post The Chemistry Trap by A. Tayebnama appeared first on Independent Book Review.
    independentbookreview.com/2026

    #bookreview #indienonfiction #Nonfiction #relationships #romanticrelationships

  15. The Chemistry Trap by A. Tayebnama

    A practical guide that challenges the romance narrative by arguing that intense early attraction often misleads rather than enlightens
    The post The Chemistry Trap by A. Tayebnama appeared first on Independent Book Review.
    independentbookreview.com/2026

    #bookreview #indienonfiction #Nonfiction #relationships #romanticrelationships

  16. The Chemistry Trap by A. Tayebnama

    A practical guide that challenges the romance narrative by arguing that intense early attraction often misleads rather than enlightens
    The post The Chemistry Trap by A. Tayebnama appeared first on Independent Book Review.
    independentbookreview.com/2026

    #bookreview #indienonfiction #Nonfiction #relationships #romanticrelationships

  17. The Chemistry Trap by A. Tayebnama

    A practical guide that challenges the romance narrative by arguing that intense early attraction often misleads rather than enlightens
    The post The Chemistry Trap by A. Tayebnama appeared first on Independent Book Review.
    independentbookreview.com/2026

    #bookreview #indienonfiction #Nonfiction #relationships #romanticrelationships

  18. "definitely ruins my chance of online dating" -- "akin to being cancelled from all dating" -- "being banned has had an impact on her dating life" -- "I’ve Been Banned From Almost Every Dating App" -- "locked out of dating apps can be far more significant for young people looking for a lifelong partner" -- "People unable to get onto those apps are potentially losing out on finding their life partner" -- "owns five of the top eight dating apps" -- "two-thirds of the online dating market" -- "bans, when they’re handed out, are pretty absolute. The companies overseeing dating apps can not just ban usernames and email addresses, but also IP addresses (from where you log onto the internet) and device identifiers, meaning that individual devices can be barred from rejoining apps"

    vice.com/en/article/banned-fro

    I feel

    e x t r e m e l y s t r o n g c o n t e m p t

    towards 2 or 3 major apps who groundlessly banned me despite me doing nothing impolite, nothing disrespectful, no violations of terms and conditions.

    #ostracism #groundlessostracism #abuse #systemicabuse #discrimination #contempt #dating #datingapp #datingapps #ruins #onlinedating #cancelled #cancel #cancelculture #toxic #ban #banned #abuseofbans #losingout #loneliness #banishing #groundlessbanishing #shunning #relationship #relationships #romanticrelationship #romanticrelationships #romance

  19. "definitely ruins my chance of online dating" -- "akin to being cancelled from all dating" -- "being banned has had an impact on her dating life" -- "I’ve Been Banned From Almost Every Dating App" -- "locked out of dating apps can be far more significant for young people looking for a lifelong partner" -- "People unable to get onto those apps are potentially losing out on finding their life partner" -- "owns five of the top eight dating apps" -- "two-thirds of the online dating market" -- "bans, when they’re handed out, are pretty absolute. The companies overseeing dating apps can not just ban usernames and email addresses, but also IP addresses (from where you log onto the internet) and device identifiers, meaning that individual devices can be barred from rejoining apps"

    vice.com/en/article/banned-fro

    I feel

    e x t r e m e l y s t r o n g c o n t e m p t

    towards 2 or 3 major apps who groundlessly banned me despite me doing nothing impolite, nothing disrespectful, no violations of terms and conditions.

    #ostracism #groundlessostracism #abuse #systemicabuse #discrimination #contempt #dating #datingapp #datingapps #ruins #onlinedating #cancelled #cancel #cancelculture #toxic #ban #banned #abuseofbans #losingout #loneliness #banishing #groundlessbanishing #shunning #relationship #relationships #romanticrelationship #romanticrelationships #romance

  20. "definitely ruins my chance of online dating" -- "akin to being cancelled from all dating" -- "being banned has had an impact on her dating life" -- "I’ve Been Banned From Almost Every Dating App" -- "locked out of dating apps can be far more significant for young people looking for a lifelong partner" -- "People unable to get onto those apps are potentially losing out on finding their life partner" -- "owns five of the top eight dating apps" -- "two-thirds of the online dating market" -- "bans, when they’re handed out, are pretty absolute. The companies overseeing dating apps can not just ban usernames and email addresses, but also IP addresses (from where you log onto the internet) and device identifiers, meaning that individual devices can be barred from rejoining apps"

    vice.com/en/article/banned-fro

    I feel

    e x t r e m e l y s t r o n g c o n t e m p t

    towards 2 or 3 major apps who groundlessly banned me despite me doing nothing impolite, nothing disrespectful, no violations of terms and conditions.

    #ostracism #groundlessostracism #abuse #systemicabuse #discrimination #contempt #dating #datingapp #datingapps #ruins #onlinedating #cancelled #cancel #cancelculture #toxic #ban #banned #abuseofbans #losingout #loneliness #banishing #groundlessbanishing #shunning #relationship #relationships #romanticrelationship #romanticrelationships #romance

  21. "definitely ruins my chance of online dating" -- "akin to being cancelled from all dating" -- "being banned has had an impact on her dating life" -- "I’ve Been Banned From Almost Every Dating App" -- "locked out of dating apps can be far more significant for young people looking for a lifelong partner" -- "People unable to get onto those apps are potentially losing out on finding their life partner" -- "owns five of the top eight dating apps" -- "two-thirds of the online dating market" -- "bans, when they’re handed out, are pretty absolute. The companies overseeing dating apps can not just ban usernames and email addresses, but also IP addresses (from where you log onto the internet) and device identifiers, meaning that individual devices can be barred from rejoining apps"

    vice.com/en/article/banned-fro

    I feel

    e x t r e m e l y s t r o n g c o n t e m p t

    towards 2 or 3 major apps who groundlessly banned me despite me doing nothing impolite, nothing disrespectful, no violations of terms and conditions.

    #ostracism #groundlessostracism #abuse #systemicabuse #discrimination #contempt #dating #datingapp #datingapps #ruins #onlinedating #cancelled #cancel #cancelculture #toxic #ban #banned #abuseofbans #losingout #loneliness #banishing #groundlessbanishing #shunning #relationship #relationships #romanticrelationship #romanticrelationships #romance

  22. "definitely ruins my chance of online dating" -- "akin to being cancelled from all dating" -- "being banned has had an impact on her dating life" -- "I’ve Been Banned From Almost Every Dating App" -- "locked out of dating apps can be far more significant for young people looking for a lifelong partner" -- "People unable to get onto those apps are potentially losing out on finding their life partner" -- "owns five of the top eight dating apps" -- "two-thirds of the online dating market" -- "bans, when they’re handed out, are pretty absolute. The companies overseeing dating apps can not just ban usernames and email addresses, but also IP addresses (from where you log onto the internet) and device identifiers, meaning that individual devices can be barred from rejoining apps"

    vice.com/en/article/banned-fro

    I feel

    e x t r e m e l y s t r o n g c o n t e m p t

    towards 2 or 3 major apps who groundlessly banned me despite me doing nothing impolite, nothing disrespectful, no violations of terms and conditions.

    #ostracism #groundlessostracism #abuse #systemicabuse #discrimination #contempt #dating #datingapp #datingapps #ruins #onlinedating #cancelled #cancel #cancelculture #toxic #ban #banned #abuseofbans #losingout #loneliness #banishing #groundlessbanishing #shunning #relationship #relationships #romanticrelationship #romanticrelationships #romance

  23. Emily Lyons posted this on LinkedIn…definitely food for thought

    “The modern dating crisis has nothing to do with a lack of options. It has everything to do with impossible standards.

    As a CEO of companies in the dating space, the number one reason people stay single: Unrealistic expectations.

    Not heartbreak.
    Not lack of options.
    Not timing.
    Expectations.

    The list gets longer. The standards get narrower. The boxes get more specific. And suddenly the person who could have been perfect for you gets dismissed for something trivial.

    You don’t need someone who checks every box. You need someone who shows up for the right boxes.

    Kindness. Emotional safety. Chemistry that grows instead of explodes. Shared vision for life. Respect. A willingness to repair.

    The right partner is not the perfect person. The right partner is the person who makes you feel like you can be fully yourself.

    Drop the list. Keep your standards.”

    #dating #romanticrelationships #matchmaker

  24. Emily Lyons posted this on LinkedIn…definitely food for thought

    “The modern dating crisis has nothing to do with a lack of options. It has everything to do with impossible standards.

    As a CEO of companies in the dating space, the number one reason people stay single: Unrealistic expectations.

    Not heartbreak.
    Not lack of options.
    Not timing.
    Expectations.

    The list gets longer. The standards get narrower. The boxes get more specific. And suddenly the person who could have been perfect for you gets dismissed for something trivial.

    You don’t need someone who checks every box. You need someone who shows up for the right boxes.

    Kindness. Emotional safety. Chemistry that grows instead of explodes. Shared vision for life. Respect. A willingness to repair.

    The right partner is not the perfect person. The right partner is the person who makes you feel like you can be fully yourself.

    Drop the list. Keep your standards.”

    #dating #romanticrelationships #matchmaker

  25. Emily Lyons posted this on LinkedIn…definitely food for thought

    “The modern dating crisis has nothing to do with a lack of options. It has everything to do with impossible standards.

    As a CEO of companies in the dating space, the number one reason people stay single: Unrealistic expectations.

    Not heartbreak.
    Not lack of options.
    Not timing.
    Expectations.

    The list gets longer. The standards get narrower. The boxes get more specific. And suddenly the person who could have been perfect for you gets dismissed for something trivial.

    You don’t need someone who checks every box. You need someone who shows up for the right boxes.

    Kindness. Emotional safety. Chemistry that grows instead of explodes. Shared vision for life. Respect. A willingness to repair.

    The right partner is not the perfect person. The right partner is the person who makes you feel like you can be fully yourself.

    Drop the list. Keep your standards.”

    #dating #romanticrelationships #matchmaker

  26. Emily Lyons posted this on LinkedIn…definitely food for thought

    “The modern dating crisis has nothing to do with a lack of options. It has everything to do with impossible standards.

    As a CEO of companies in the dating space, the number one reason people stay single: Unrealistic expectations.

    Not heartbreak.
    Not lack of options.
    Not timing.
    Expectations.

    The list gets longer. The standards get narrower. The boxes get more specific. And suddenly the person who could have been perfect for you gets dismissed for something trivial.

    You don’t need someone who checks every box. You need someone who shows up for the right boxes.

    Kindness. Emotional safety. Chemistry that grows instead of explodes. Shared vision for life. Respect. A willingness to repair.

    The right partner is not the perfect person. The right partner is the person who makes you feel like you can be fully yourself.

    Drop the list. Keep your standards.”

    #dating #romanticrelationships #matchmaker

  27. Emily Lyons posted this on LinkedIn…definitely food for thought

    “The modern dating crisis has nothing to do with a lack of options. It has everything to do with impossible standards.

    As a CEO of companies in the dating space, the number one reason people stay single: Unrealistic expectations.

    Not heartbreak.
    Not lack of options.
    Not timing.
    Expectations.

    The list gets longer. The standards get narrower. The boxes get more specific. And suddenly the person who could have been perfect for you gets dismissed for something trivial.

    You don’t need someone who checks every box. You need someone who shows up for the right boxes.

    Kindness. Emotional safety. Chemistry that grows instead of explodes. Shared vision for life. Respect. A willingness to repair.

    The right partner is not the perfect person. The right partner is the person who makes you feel like you can be fully yourself.

    Drop the list. Keep your standards.”

    #dating #romanticrelationships #matchmaker

  28. Transition point in romantic relationships signals the beginning of their end: Dissatisfaction in a relationship will inevitably lead to separation at some point / Recent study is based on the concept of terminal decline 👉 press.uni-mainz.de/transition-

    #psychology #RomanticRelationships #dissatisfaction #separation #personality #relationships

  29. Transition point in romantic relationships signals the beginning of their end: Dissatisfaction in a relationship will inevitably lead to separation at some point / Recent study is based on the concept of terminal decline 👉 press.uni-mainz.de/transition-

    #psychology #RomanticRelationships #dissatisfaction #separation #personality #relationships