#aucklandcomedy — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #aucklandcomedy, aggregated by home.social.
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Easter Eggs
Chocolate is highly toxic to rabbits. This makes me wonder if the Easter Bunny gives humans chocolate in a lagamorphic attempt to wipe out humanity? -
Easter Eggs
Chocolate is highly toxic to rabbits. This makes me wonder if the Easter Bunny gives humans chocolate in a lagamorphic attempt to wipe out humanity? -
Airline Food
Julia: Why is airline food so bad? DEATH: Something has to make post funeral refreshments seem good. -
Airline Food
Julia: Why is airline food so bad? DEATH: Something has to make post funeral refreshments seem good. -
Open Mics
Julia: At an open mic, some comedians will kill and others will die. DEATH: All good. Either way suits me. [Small text: The mythological creature formerly known as DEATH] -
Open Mics
Julia: At an open mic, some comedians will kill and others will die. DEATH: All good. Either way suits me. [Small text: The mythological creature formerly known as DEATH] -
Drinks?
Does the bar serve diet blood or just that crappy blood zero? Asking for a friend. [Small text: The mythological creature formerly known as DEATH] -
Drinks?
Does the bar serve diet blood or just that crappy blood zero? Asking for a friend. [Small text: The mythological creature formerly known as DEATH] -
Et in Arcadia
Et in Arcadia Ego. ("Even in Arcadia, there am I", Mission Bay not Arcadia, but who's counting?) [Small text: The mythological creature formerly known as DEATH] -
Et in Arcadia
Et in Arcadia Ego. ("Even in Arcadia, there am I", Mission Bay not Arcadia, but who's counting?) [Small text: The mythological creature formerly known as DEATH] -
Virgins
Stop sending me virgins … Do I look like a chaperone? [Small text: The mythological creature formerly known as DEATH] -
Virgins
Stop sending me virgins … Do I look like a chaperone? [Small text: The mythological creature formerly known as DEATH] -
Stars Aligning
Julia: "One day the stars will align." DEATH: "Yes! On 6 May 2492. It's the 1,000th anniversary of Columbus' first trip." -
Stars Aligning
Julia: "One day the stars will align." DEATH: "Yes! On 6 May 2492. It's the 1,000th anniversary of Columbus' first trip." -
Julia Dying
Julia: "I think I am dying." DEATH: “I'm awfully busy, wait your turn Julia." -
Julia Dying
Julia: "I think I am dying." DEATH: “I'm awfully busy, wait your turn Julia." -
Kill or Die
Some comedians will kill. Others will die. Either way I'm happy. [The mythological character formerly known as DEATH] -
Kill or Die
Some comedians will kill. Others will die. Either way I'm happy. [The mythological character formerly known as DEATH] -
School Covid
David Seymore: Too many children are spreading Covid at school. DEATH: Not wanting to endorse breathing, but can't you limit it to their breaks? -
School Covid
David Seymore: Too many children are spreading Covid at school. DEATH: Not wanting to endorse breathing, but can't you limit it to their breaks? -
Berries
DEATH: All berries are edible. Some only once. -
Berries
DEATH: All berries are edible. Some only once. -
Berries
DEATH: All berries are edible. Some only once. -
Berries
DEATH: All berries are edible. Some only once. -
Berries
DEATH: All berries are edible. Some only once. -
Dying on Stage?
DEATH "They said that comedian died … how stupid do they think I am? I can see they're still walking and they don't look like a zombie to me … I hate zombies." [followed by 2 minute rant about zombies] -
Dying on Stage?
DEATH "They said that comedian died … how stupid do they think I am? I can see they're still walking and they don't look like a zombie to me … I hate zombies." [followed by 2 minute rant about zombies] -
Laughing
DEATH: Here I am, laughing in the face of life. [The mythological character formerly known as DEATH] -
Laughing
DEATH: Here I am, laughing in the face of life. [The mythological character formerly known as DEATH] -
A Bad Cold
Julia: I have a bad cold. DEATH: That’s funny, I have a bad Julia. -
A Bad Cold
Julia: I have a bad cold. DEATH: That’s funny, I have a bad Julia. -
A Bad Cold
I really like my new name. I am now called "It's just a bad cold." [The mythological character formerly known as DEATH.] -
A Bad Cold
I really like my new name. I am now called "It's just a bad cold." [The mythological character formerly known as DEATH.] -
Ending Homelessness?
If Luxon does end homelessness, who's going to guard the shop doorways in Queen Street overnight? -
Ending Homelessness?
If Luxon does end homelessness, who's going to guard the shop doorways in Queen Street overnight? -
Ending Homelessness?
If Luxon does end homelessness, who's going to guard the shop doorways in Queen Street overnight? -
Ending Homelessness?
If Luxon does end homelessness, who's going to guard the shop doorways in Queen Street overnight? -
Ending Homelessness?
If Luxon does end homelessness, who's going to guard the shop doorways in Queen Street overnight? -
Unemployed and Missing
The homeless woman that normally begs outside the Newmarket burger bar wasn't there today. I hope she's gone somewhere nice for her vacation. -
Unemployed and Missing
The homeless woman that normally begs outside the Newmarket burger bar wasn't there today. I hope she's gone somewhere nice for her vacation. -
Unemployed?
Nobody needs to be unemployed in this country. You can always get a job sitting outside Burger bars asking for spare change. -
Unemployed?
Nobody needs to be unemployed in this country. You can always get a job sitting outside Burger bars asking for spare change. -
Typos?
A typo prone friend asked if his jokes were any god so I printed them and put 1 on each of 14 fresh graves. No resurrections yet. -
Typos?
A typo prone friend asked if his jokes were any god so I printed them and put 1 on each of 14 fresh graves. No resurrections yet. -
SciFi Romance
I’m writing a book about a science fantasy author who secretly writes romances. It's transgendre literature. -
SciFi Romance
I’m writing a book about a science fantasy author who secretly writes romances. It's transgendre literature. -
Air Band
The set was ruined because the air guitar was out of tune and the air drummer’s tempo was worse. -
Air Band
The set was ruined because the air guitar was out of tune and the air drummer’s tempo was worse. -
Air Band
The set was ruined because the air guitar was out of tune and the air drummer’s tempo was worse. -
Air Band
The set was ruined because the air guitar was out of tune and the air drummer’s tempo was worse.