#nzcomedy — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #nzcomedy, aggregated by home.social.
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Caesar
Caesar said "Veni, vidi, feci sem" (I came, I saw, I made salad) -
Pilot
Why do pilot's uniforms still look like military officer uniforms from the 1940s? -
Butter
I've just realised. Butter really doesn't melt in vegans' mouths. -
Butter
I've just realised. Butter really doesn't melt in vegans' mouths. -
Butter
I've just realised. Butter really doesn't melt in vegans' mouths. -
Butter
I've just realised. Butter really doesn't melt in vegans' mouths. -
Butter
I've just realised. Butter really doesn't melt in vegans' mouths. -
KFC?
I’m considering making a follow-up to “Supersize Me” where I eat KFC every day. It’s called “Lick my fingers.” -
KFC?
I’m considering making a follow-up to “Supersize Me” where I eat KFC every day. It’s called “Lick my fingers.” -
Cuppa Tea?
I have a cup of tea every year, but I am trying to cut back.
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Cuppa Tea?
I have a cup of tea every year, but I am trying to cut back.
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Death Lives
The funniest thing about my DEATH character is that it's doing live comedy. -
Death Lives
The funniest thing about my DEATH character is that it's doing live comedy. -
Horsing Around
The wheels fell off for the NZ Equestrian team at the last Olympics. Team managers say "Next time we'll try hooves." -
Horsing Around
The wheels fell off for the NZ Equestrian team at the last Olympics. Team managers say "Next time we'll try hooves." -
Horsing Around
The wheels fell off for the NZ Equestrian team at the last Olympics. Team managers say "Next time we'll try hooves." -
Horsing Around
The wheels fell off for the NZ Equestrian team at the last Olympics. Team managers say "Next time we'll try hooves." -
Horsing Around
The wheels fell off for the NZ Equestrian team at the last Olympics. Team managers say "Next time we'll try hooves." -
Fasthoods
“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” -- Mark Twain. Except he didn't say it! A meta-lie. -
Fasthoods
“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” -- Mark Twain. Except he didn't say it! A meta-lie. -
Floral?
I keep coming back as a flower. It's a bad case of reincarnation. -
Floral?
I keep coming back as a flower. It's a bad case of reincarnation. -
Pizza
Pizza? Hell yes! Other brands, not so much! -
Pizza
Pizza? Hell yes! Other brands, not so much! -
Pizza
Pizza? Hell yes! Other brands, not so much! -
Pizza
Pizza? Hell yes! Other brands, not so much! -
Pizza
Pizza? Hell yes! Other brands, not so much! -
Can’t Stop
Make America great again. Make cheese grate again. Make Kool-Aid grape again. -
Can’t Stop
Make America great again. Make cheese grate again. Make Kool-Aid grape again. -
Insomnia
It’s better to have dreamed and wakened than to suffer incurable insomnia. -
Insomnia
It’s better to have dreamed and wakened than to suffer incurable insomnia. -
It’s a fake
Winter's not real. It's just a plot by Big Puffer Jacket! -
It’s a fake
Winter's not real. It's just a plot by Big Puffer Jacket! -
Gone, but not forgotten.
It was over 100 years ago. One way or another Schrödinger's cat is dead. (In reality it was in November 1935 that Schrödinger published, so this posting has obviously come through a wormhole from 9 or more years in the future. Quantum!) -
Gone, but not forgotten.
It was over 100 years ago. One way or another Schrödinger's cat is dead. (In reality it was in November 1935 that Schrödinger published, so this posting has obviously come through a wormhole from 9 or more years in the future. Quantum!) -
Gone, but not forgotten.
It was over 100 years ago. One way or another Schrödinger's cat is dead. (In reality it was in November 1935 that Schrödinger published, so this posting has obviously come through a wormhole from 9 or more years in the future. Quantum!) -
Strong Passwords
I woke up today to find an email from Wikipedia. Someone had tried to break into my account. Luckily my password is a very strong one: VeryStrongOne123! -
Strong Passwords
I woke up today to find an email from Wikipedia. Someone had tried to break into my account. Luckily my password is a very strong one: VeryStrongOne123! -
Placebos
My hypochondria’s so bad my doctor prescribes me broad spectrum placebos.
#AucklandComedy #Comedy #Hypochondria #NZComedy #Placebos -
Placebos
My hypochondria’s so bad my doctor prescribes me broad spectrum placebos.
#AucklandComedy #Comedy #Hypochondria #NZComedy #Placebos -
Light Bulbs
It’s getting dark outside.
I think I’ll go and panic buy light bulbs.
#AucklandComedy #Comedy #Lightbulbs #NZComedy #PanicBuying -
Light Bulbs
It’s getting dark outside.
I think I’ll go and panic buy light bulbs.
#AucklandComedy #Comedy #Lightbulbs #NZComedy #PanicBuying -
Toad Redux
Q: Why did the chicken cross the toad?
A: Autocorrect!
#AucklandComedy #Autocorrect #Comedy #CrossThetoad #NZComedy -
Toad Redux
Q: Why did the chicken cross the toad?
A: Autocorrect!
#AucklandComedy #Autocorrect #Comedy #CrossThetoad #NZComedy -
Fashion Disaster
I look pretty hot in everything except maxi-dresses.
Nobody looks good in a maxi-dress.
#AucklandComedy #Comedy #MaxiDress #NZComedy -
Fashion Disaster
I look pretty hot in everything except maxi-dresses.
Nobody looks good in a maxi-dress.
#AucklandComedy #Comedy #MaxiDress #NZComedy -
Time and Tide
Time and peristalsis wait for no-one.
#AucklandComedy #Comedy #NZComedy #Peristalsis #Time -
Time and Tide
Time and peristalsis wait for no-one.
#AucklandComedy #Comedy #NZComedy #Peristalsis #Time -
New Study Shows
A new study shows that people will believe almost anything that begins “New study shows.”
#AucklandComedy #Comedy #NewStudy #NZComedy -
New Study Shows
A new study shows that people will believe almost anything that begins “New study shows.”
#AucklandComedy #Comedy #NewStudy #NZComedy