#neuroticism — Public Fediverse posts

Psychological wellbeing as choosing your own symptom

There’s a slightly bleak and apologetic note to Mari Ruti’s writing here on pg 156 of The Call of Character. There’s a much nicer way of framing this: through therapeutic work we can begin to craft our own symptom rather than grapple with what spontaneously emerges. Once you understand the work something destructive is doing for you, it becomes possible to find other ways of scratching that psychic itch:

In this context, it is useful to recall that a symptom is at bottom a method of binding energy that has no other place to go. This implies that to the extent that we are able to devise an effective way of discharging our excess energy, we might be able to dodge the most voracious of symptoms. Many high-achieving individuals, for instance, are successful in part because they have found a suitable outlet for the surplus of energy that courses through their bodies and minds. Consciously or unconsciously, such individuals understand that they have a choice between pathology and achievement, that the less they are able to pour their tension into their accomplishments, the more likely it is to erupt in painful symptoms, obsessions, neuroses, and addictions of various kinds. This may seem like a sad state of affairs, and it may also be an addiction of sorts, but it is arguably one of the least destructive means of processing anxiety.

Once you cut through the mystification, there’s a deeply affirming message buried at the heart of Lacanian theory and practice: frantically looking for something to complete you is getting in the way of enjoying the many things you do have in your existence. There is a great deal of enjoyment to be had in existence, if only you can prise yourself out of the struggle to find some final resolution to it all. Ultimately I think it’s quite similar to what Bollas says in quite a straightforward mode: “I am telling the patients to stop looking so hard, give up the effort to see direct evidence of the meaning of being, and get to what one can know by simply relaxing and talking”.

Psychological wellbeing as choosing your own symptom

There’s a slightly bleak and apologetic note to Mari Ruti’s writing here on pg 156 of The Call of Character. There’s a much nicer way of framing this: through therapeutic work we can begin to craft our own symptom rather than grapple with what spontaneously emerges. Once you understand the work something destructive is doing for you, it becomes possible to find other ways of scratching that psychic itch:

In this context, it is useful to recall that a symptom is at bottom a method of binding energy that has no other place to go. This implies that to the extent that we are able to devise an effective way of discharging our excess energy, we might be able to dodge the most voracious of symptoms. Many high-achieving individuals, for instance, are successful in part because they have found a suitable outlet for the surplus of energy that courses through their bodies and minds. Consciously or unconsciously, such individuals understand that they have a choice between pathology and achievement, that the less they are able to pour their tension into their accomplishments, the more likely it is to erupt in painful symptoms, obsessions, neuroses, and addictions of various kinds. This may seem like a sad state of affairs, and it may also be an addiction of sorts, but it is arguably one of the least destructive means of processing anxiety.

Once you cut through the mystification, there’s a deeply affirming message buried at the heart of Lacanian theory and practice: frantically looking for something to complete you is getting in the way of enjoying the many things you do have in your existence. There is a great deal of enjoyment to be had in existence, if only you can prise yourself out of the struggle to find some final resolution to it all. Ultimately I think it’s quite similar to what Bollas says in quite a straightforward mode: “I am telling the patients to stop looking so hard, give up the effort to see direct evidence of the meaning of being, and get to what one can know by simply relaxing and talking”.

Psychological wellbeing as choosing your own symptom

There’s a slightly bleak and apologetic note to Mari Ruti’s writing here on pg 156 of The Call of Character. There’s a much nicer way of framing this: through therapeutic work we can begin to craft our own symptom rather than grapple with what spontaneously emerges. Once you understand the work something destructive is doing for you, it becomes possible to find other ways of scratching that psychic itch:

In this context, it is useful to recall that a symptom is at bottom a method of binding energy that has no other place to go. This implies that to the extent that we are able to devise an effective way of discharging our excess energy, we might be able to dodge the most voracious of symptoms. Many high-achieving individuals, for instance, are successful in part because they have found a suitable outlet for the surplus of energy that courses through their bodies and minds. Consciously or unconsciously, such individuals understand that they have a choice between pathology and achievement, that the less they are able to pour their tension into their accomplishments, the more likely it is to erupt in painful symptoms, obsessions, neuroses, and addictions of various kinds. This may seem like a sad state of affairs, and it may also be an addiction of sorts, but it is arguably one of the least destructive means of processing anxiety.

Once you cut through the mystification, there’s a deeply affirming message buried at the heart of Lacanian theory and practice: frantically looking for something to complete you is getting in the way of enjoying the many things you do have in your existence. There is a great deal of enjoyment to be had in existence, if only you can prise yourself out of the struggle to find some final resolution to it all. Ultimately I think it’s quite similar to what Bollas says in quite a straightforward mode: “I am telling the patients to stop looking so hard, give up the effort to see direct evidence of the meaning of being, and get to what one can know by simply relaxing and talking”.

Psychological wellbeing as choosing your own symptom

There’s a slightly bleak and apologetic note to Mari Ruti’s writing here on pg 156 of The Call of Character. There’s a much nicer way of framing this: through therapeutic work we can begin to craft our own symptom rather than grapple with what spontaneously emerges. Once you understand the work something destructive is doing for you, it becomes possible to find other ways of scratching that psychic itch:

In this context, it is useful to recall that a symptom is at bottom a method of binding energy that has no other place to go. This implies that to the extent that we are able to devise an effective way of discharging our excess energy, we might be able to dodge the most voracious of symptoms. Many high-achieving individuals, for instance, are successful in part because they have found a suitable outlet for the surplus of energy that courses through their bodies and minds. Consciously or unconsciously, such individuals understand that they have a choice between pathology and achievement, that the less they are able to pour their tension into their accomplishments, the more likely it is to erupt in painful symptoms, obsessions, neuroses, and addictions of various kinds. This may seem like a sad state of affairs, and it may also be an addiction of sorts, but it is arguably one of the least destructive means of processing anxiety.

Once you cut through the mystification, there’s a deeply affirming message buried at the heart of Lacanian theory and practice: frantically looking for something to complete you is getting in the way of enjoying the many things you do have in your existence. There is a great deal of enjoyment to be had in existence, if only you can prise yourself out of the struggle to find some final resolution to it all. Ultimately I think it’s quite similar to what Bollas says in quite a straightforward mode: “I am telling the patients to stop looking so hard, give up the effort to see direct evidence of the meaning of being, and get to what one can know by simply relaxing and talking”.

BlueSky Is A Platform For Attention Whores With No Standards

I’m convinced that Bluesky is the platform for attention-whores who perform and humiliate themselves for validation and affirmation. It’s really sad. I don’t feel bad when bad things happen to them as a consequence because they were already warned, yet they prioritize fitting into a culture and refuse to deal with their feelings of inadequacy. The reason they stay is that the bar is low for meaningful engagement, allowing them to indulge in their obsessions and compulsions while being rewarded for self-destructive behavior. It truly is quite pathetic.

I initially joined Bluesky for the sexual content because people on Mastodon have little interest in sex and much more elaborate norms around sexuality. Contrary to what people think of me, I don’t actually use social media in the conventional way most people do. I view it on an abstract, non-algorithmically served layer via my network analysis tools, and I interact with YouTube in a very constrained way. So, I wasn’t aware of how bad things were until I started using Bluesky conventionally. The men on Bluesky are just plain repulsive to me. Desperation, neediness, lack of independence, and obsessively posting about a single topic (like sex, religion, or politics), instead of developing a genuine hobby that demonstrates skill, progress, and mastery, are major turn-offs. I find a lack of standards absolutely disgusting.

For example, if someone abhorrent gives you a compliment, you don’t accept it. If an abhorrent person follows you, you block them. Yet what I see are men posting sexual content and seeking attention and validation from anyone, regardless of who it’s coming from. If I look through someone’s activity and see nothing but low-effort posts interacting with nothing but sexual content or obsessive engagement with that type of content, I lose interest immediately.

A reason why my husband has held my attention for over a decade is that there is always something new with him. He is always randomly looking into developing a new skill. One day, he started randomly speaking Mandarin to me, which I did not know he knew how to speak. He had told me he had been learning Mandarin. Yes, my husband is neurodivergent and his interests are cars, but that doesn’t displace all other things. Another reason why my husband holds my attention is that he can keep a conversation going and match anyone’s changes. It’s not one ritualistic or compulsive thing every single fucking day.

A very real consequence of the lack of standards in gay sexual spaces, especially given that many misogynistic, homophobic far-right men suppress their homosexual attractions, is that many of the fetishes in gay sexual spaces are reminiscent of manosphere content. Because of what I do for a living, I have access to audience segmentation metrics and social embeddings of how content is served. Manosphere content clusters with homoerotic content that men consume. At some point, obsession became so normalized that people stopped realizing it was problematic.

Unless gay men set boundaries and tell manosphere bros, “we’re not having that,” you’ll see what I see on Bluesky. I’m actually very sexual myself, and I frequently go to bathhouses—those that have very explicit rules—sex parties, and orgies.

The funny thing is that I have had plenty of really deep philosophical conversations sitting in the hot tub of a bathhouse with naked gay men. Because of health codes and all that, you can’t do sexual things in the pool or the hot tub, so those areas were places for genuine play and conversation, while spots like the saunas were the fuck spots. I recall a particularly interesting conversation I had with an older gay man who had been going to that bathhouse since the ’80s. He explained to me the social context of the HIV epidemic and how, basically, no one knew it was sexually transmitted, so everyone was still barebacking at that exact same bathhouse we were in.

The issue here is people who fuck and sexually perform for awful people who want to murder them because they have absolutely no fucking standards and are so emotionally needy that they forgo all forms of self-preservation. I’m a computer scientist, so I have access to a lot of data tools. I can tell you for a fact that there is a strong correlation between men who want to murder gay men and trans people and the ones liking, engaging in parasocial dynamics with, and commenting in their replies. You’re willing to take sexual attention from people who want to kill you, and that blows my mind.

In their minds, Bluesky is better if it is not a Nazi strip bar but a Nazi BDSM-furry-kink club? What the ever-loving fuck?! Honestly, I watch a lot of feminist content that rips manosphere content apart, so much so that I can instantly recognize coded things. The “fuck no!” moment for me is when I saw manosphere-coded things being fetishized in the ego networks of large gay adult content creators and OnlyFans creators in social network embeddings. It’s not like it is insidious. If I see it, everyone else sees it; they are just ignoring it because they are prioritizing sexual validation and their obsessions.

BlueSky Is A Platform For Attention Whores With No Standards

I’m convinced that Bluesky is the platform for attention-whores who perform and humiliate themselves for validation and affirmation. It’s really sad. I don’t feel bad when bad things happen to them as a consequence because they were already warned, yet they prioritize fitting into a culture and refuse to deal with their feelings of inadequacy. The reason they stay is that the bar is low for meaningful engagement, allowing them to indulge in their obsessions and compulsions while being rewarded for self-destructive behavior. It truly is quite pathetic.

I initially joined Bluesky for the sexual content because people on Mastodon have little interest in sex and much more elaborate norms around sexuality. Contrary to what people think of me, I don’t actually use social media in the conventional way most people do. I view it on an abstract, non-algorithmically served layer via my network analysis tools, and I interact with YouTube in a very constrained way. So, I wasn’t aware of how bad things were until I started using Bluesky conventionally. The men on Bluesky are just plain repulsive to me. Desperation, neediness, lack of independence, and obsessively posting about a single topic (like sex, religion, or politics), instead of developing a genuine hobby that demonstrates skill, progress, and mastery, are major turn-offs. I find a lack of standards absolutely disgusting.

For example, if someone abhorrent gives you a compliment, you don’t accept it. If an abhorrent person follows you, you block them. Yet what I see are men posting sexual content and seeking attention and validation from anyone, regardless of who it’s coming from. If I look through someone’s activity and see nothing but low-effort posts interacting with nothing but sexual content or obsessive engagement with that type of content, I lose interest immediately.

A reason why my husband has held my attention for over a decade is that there is always something new with him. He is always randomly looking into developing a new skill. One day, he started randomly speaking Mandarin to me, which I did not know he knew how to speak. He had told me he had been learning Mandarin. Yes, my husband is neurodivergent and his interests are cars, but that doesn’t displace all other things. Another reason why my husband holds my attention is that he can keep a conversation going and match anyone’s changes. It’s not one ritualistic or compulsive thing every single fucking day.

A very real consequence of the lack of standards in gay sexual spaces, especially given that many misogynistic, homophobic far-right men suppress their homosexual attractions, is that many of the fetishes in gay sexual spaces are reminiscent of manosphere content. Because of what I do for a living, I have access to audience segmentation metrics and social embeddings of how content is served. Manosphere content clusters with homoerotic content that men consume. At some point, obsession became so normalized that people stopped realizing it was problematic.

Unless gay men set boundaries and tell manosphere bros, “we’re not having that,” you’ll see what I see on Bluesky. I’m actually very sexual myself, and I frequently go to bathhouses—those that have very explicit rules—sex parties, and orgies.

The funny thing is that I have had plenty of really deep philosophical conversations sitting in the hot tub of a bathhouse with naked gay men. Because of health codes and all that, you can’t do sexual things in the pool or the hot tub, so those areas were places for genuine play and conversation, while spots like the saunas were the fuck spots. I recall a particularly interesting conversation I had with an older gay man who had been going to that bathhouse since the ’80s. He explained to me the social context of the HIV epidemic and how, basically, no one knew it was sexually transmitted, so everyone was still barebacking at that exact same bathhouse we were in.

The issue here is people who fuck and sexually perform for awful people who want to murder them because they have absolutely no fucking standards and are so emotionally needy that they forgo all forms of self-preservation. I’m a computer scientist, so I have access to a lot of data tools. I can tell you for a fact that there is a strong correlation between men who want to murder gay men and trans people and the ones liking, engaging in parasocial dynamics with, and commenting in their replies. You’re willing to take sexual attention from people who want to kill you, and that blows my mind.

In their minds, Bluesky is better if it is not a Nazi strip bar but a Nazi BDSM-furry-kink club? What the ever-loving fuck?! Honestly, I watch a lot of feminist content that rips manosphere content apart, so much so that I can instantly recognize coded things. The “fuck no!” moment for me is when I saw manosphere-coded things being fetishized in the ego networks of large gay adult content creators and OnlyFans creators in social network embeddings. It’s not like it is insidious. If I see it, everyone else sees it; they are just ignoring it because they are prioritizing sexual validation and their obsessions.

How I changed my personality in six weeks.

Based on emerging research showing people can shift their core personality traits, Laurie Clarke tried tweaking hers.

Here’s what happened.

https://mediafaro.org/article/20260104-how-i-changed-my-personality-in-six-weeks?mf_channel=mastodon&action=forward

#Personally #Psychology #Health #Openness #Conscientiousness #Extraversion #Agreeableness #Neuroticism #Science #Longread

How I changed my personality in six weeks.

Based on emerging research showing people can shift their core personality traits, Laurie Clarke tried tweaking hers.

Here’s what happened.

https://mediafaro.org/article/20260104-how-i-changed-my-personality-in-six-weeks?mf_channel=mastodon&action=forward

#Personally #Psychology #Health #Openness #Conscientiousness #Extraversion #Agreeableness #Neuroticism #Science #Longread

How I changed my personality in six weeks.

Based on emerging research showing people can shift their core personality traits, Laurie Clarke tried tweaking hers.

Here’s what happened.

https://mediafaro.org/article/20260104-how-i-changed-my-personality-in-six-weeks?mf_channel=mastodon&action=forward

#Personally #Psychology #Health #Openness #Conscientiousness #Extraversion #Agreeableness #Neuroticism #Science #Longread

How I changed my personality in six weeks.

Based on emerging research showing people can shift their core personality traits, Laurie Clarke tried tweaking hers.

Here’s what happened.

https://mediafaro.org/article/20260104-how-i-changed-my-personality-in-six-weeks?mf_channel=mastodon&action=forward

#Personally #Psychology #Health #Openness #Conscientiousness #Extraversion #Agreeableness #Neuroticism #Science #Longread

How I changed my personality in six weeks.

Based on emerging research showing people can shift their core personality traits, Laurie Clarke tried tweaking hers.

Here’s what happened.

https://mediafaro.org/article/20260104-how-i-changed-my-personality-in-six-weeks?mf_channel=mastodon&action=forward

#Personally #Psychology #Health #Openness #Conscientiousness #Extraversion #Agreeableness #Neuroticism #Science #Longread

Communications expert shares how to confidently interrupt someone who won't stop talking

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://www.upworthy.com/communications-expert-shares-how-to-confidently-interrupt-someone-who-wont-stop-talking-ex1

We found support for the associations most frequently cited in the literature: #conscientiousness <-> #compliance, and #neuroticism <-> #perceivedRisk. Other associations that are only occasionally seen in the literature were less strongly indicated, and there were some novel discoveries.
(2/3)

Hate exercising? Factoring in your personality type could help

“There’s an adage in the industry saying that ‘the best exercise is the one you will do,’ implying…
#NewsBeep #News #US #USA #UnitedStates #UnitedStatesOfAmerica #Fitness #could #enjoy #exercise #exercising #extroverts #factoring #found #hate #Health #help #high #higherintensity #in #independent #likely #neuroticism #people #personality #programmes #score #study #tend #training #type #while #your
https://www.newsbeep.com/us/22504/

https://www.europesays.com/uk/270911/ Hate exercising? Factoring in your personality type could help #‘high #could #enjoy #exercise #exercising #extroverts #factoring #Fitness #found #hate #Health #help #higherintensity #in #independent #likely #neuroticism #People #personality #programmes #score #study #tend #training #type #UK #UnitedKingdom #while #your

Unraveling Attachment Styles: The GPS of Human Connections

#AttachmentStyles #HumanConnections #Relationships #PsychosocialVulnerability #Neuroticism #Psychoanalysis #DyadicAnalysis #InterdependenceModel #EmotionalIntelligence #Vulnerability #LoveAndFriendship #MentalHealthAwareness #SelfDiscovery #PersonalGrowth

https://youtube.com/shorts/lWaf-B__wJ8?feature=share

New psychology research reveals how one’s own personality predicts long-term relationship satisfaction https://www.psypost.org/new-psychology-research-reveals-how-ones-own-personality-predicts-long-term-relationship-satisfaction/?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=mastodon #psychology #research #longtermsatisfaction #personalitytraits #neuroticism

The persistence and the degree of the type of parasocial relationships occultists form is insane! Seriously, at any given time, I have about 20 random occultists seriously thinking that we have a relationship or that I am thinking anything about them merely because they bumped into me on Discord or Reddit or something. It is seriously terrifying and horrifying how quickly a random encounter gets spun into a paranoid delusion.

There is one person I know from psionics communities who won’t leave me alone on Reddit or Discord because she is convinced that she is telepathically connected to me, that I am putting thoughts in her head, and that I am angry at her because she chooses to be independent. The more you try to convince these people that they are delusional and the more evidence they gather for themselves, the deeper they fly into their schizophrenic, parasocial delusions. I’m not talking about that insane schizophrenic woman from DKMU. I am talking about someone from 15 years ago that I knew in psionics communities named Kira. I’m noticing that the truly unhinged ones hang out on Discord. Their delusions literally last for years and years.

I am literally watching said person on Discord describe how I pissed off gods they worked with, and that, apparently, they are causing me low self-esteem from a sock account. The terrifying thing is they don’t realize it’s projection. For some reason, they lack insight into their own emotions, so they are projecting their neuroticism onto me and saying I am feeling what they feel about themselves. It also tactically implies that they feel things like low self-esteem are put into their head.

The confusing thing is that this person says they are an atheist but believes these deities are real. Somehow, because they work with them as equals – which is insane to me, because there is an intrinsic power dynamic. The idea that people believe they are equal to beings that they believe can create cosmos doesn’t make sense to me. I’m an atheist, so the whole thing is nonsense to me.

The belief that others are implanting thoughts into your mind is a common delusion associated with schizophrenia, giving rise to the trope of tin-foil hats. This person is evidently very mentally ill.

#anarchism #anarchists #anarchy #animistic #atheism #Athiest #chaosMagic #chaosMagick #conspiracyTheories #conspiracyTheory #cults #Discord #DKMU #energyWork #magick #Mastodon #mentalHealth #mentalIllness #neuroticism #occult #occultism #occultists #pagan #paganism #paranormal #parasocial #psionics #psychic #Reddit #schizophrenia #schizophrenic #Theism #Threads #Twitter #witch #witchcraft

As the first author is not on mastodon (yet), I get the honour of sharing our latest article on the relationship between #personality and destructive #leadership. Specifically, it dives into (facets of) #neuroticism as antecedent of abusive supervision and lassez-faire leadership behaviors. Open access, please enjoy, and share! #psychology #research #AcademicChatter #big5 https://iaap-journals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/apps.12495

People with high #neuroticism scores not only experience negative #emotions more strongly, but also more often than people with average or below-average scores. They are more often self-critical, react more poorly to external #criticism
#Psychology #sflorg
https://www.sflorg.com/2023/06/psy06072302.html