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1000 results for “snowbound”
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"Snowbound Desire at the Ski House"
Heat up with this cool story!
https://storyoriginapp.com/universalbooklinks/3545bb12-b6bf-11ef-adec-8f8fb8d42daa
#SpicyBooks #Hotwife #Billionaire -
"Snowbound Desire at the Ski House"
Heat up with this cool story!
https://storyoriginapp.com/universalbooklinks/3545bb12-b6bf-11ef-adec-8f8fb8d42daa
#SpicyBooks #Hotwife #Billionaire -
@snowbound @pwhl @thepwhlofficial Could this be it? Coyne scores an empty net goal wiht 1:40 to go? @pwhl @thepwhlofficial #pwhlminnesota #pwhlboston #pwhlplayoffs
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@snowbound @pwhl @thepwhlofficial Could this be it? Coyne scores an empty net goal wiht 1:40 to go? @pwhl @thepwhlofficial #pwhlminnesota #pwhlboston #pwhlplayoffs
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@snowbound Looks like a lot of jawing going on! #pwhlminnesota #pwhlmontreal #pwhl
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A snowbound Scottish castle. A rival book hunter. A rare treasure hidden in 10,000 books. Jenny Colgan's THE SECRET CHRISTMAS LIBRARY is the cozy Christmas read I didn't know I needed — signed copy and all. 📚❄️ New review up on Views She Writes! #BookReview #CozyReads #JennyColgan
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A snowbound Scottish castle. A rival book hunter. A rare treasure hidden in 10,000 books. Jenny Colgan's THE SECRET CHRISTMAS LIBRARY is the cozy Christmas read I didn't know I needed — signed copy and all. 📚❄️ New review up on Views She Writes! #BookReview #CozyReads #JennyColgan
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A snowbound Scottish castle. A rival book hunter. A rare treasure hidden in 10,000 books. Jenny Colgan's THE SECRET CHRISTMAS LIBRARY is the cozy Christmas read I didn't know I needed — signed copy and all. 📚❄️ New review up on Views She Writes! #BookReview #CozyReads #JennyColgan
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A snowbound Scottish castle. A rival book hunter. A rare treasure hidden in 10,000 books. Jenny Colgan's THE SECRET CHRISTMAS LIBRARY is the cozy Christmas read I didn't know I needed — signed copy and all. 📚❄️ New review up on Views She Writes! #BookReview #CozyReads #JennyColgan
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A snowbound Scottish castle. A rival book hunter. A rare treasure hidden in 10,000 books. Jenny Colgan's THE SECRET CHRISTMAS LIBRARY is the cozy Christmas read I didn't know I needed — signed copy and all. 📚❄️ New review up on Views She Writes! #BookReview #CozyReads #JennyColgan
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If you’re snowbound and want an easier place for biking in winter, come visit. When we see tourists on bikes, we let them know: people who bike are our favorite visitors! Although we hope for more winter rain, we can pretty much guarantee you no snow. https://bikemonterey.org/pipe-in-the-new.html
If you don’t like the weather here (it’s not Southern California, it’s California’s Central Coast), it’ll change. Photos show changing weather on the Big Sur coast Sunday, December 29. Rain, fog, then sunshine broke through. We shot these at 2:23 pm, 4:40 pm, 5:05 pm. We do miss the years when Big Sur was quiet, had no heavy traffic, no crowds necessitating passes for Pfeiffer Beach, etc. It makes sense that its spectacular beauty summoned millions of new visitors in recent years. https://bikemonterey.org/big-sur-not-big-enough-sur-by-tim-harrington.html
Wherever you are, we hope you’re doing what you can to help care for this beautiful planet. #ThereIsNoPlanetB.
Happy 2025!
#BikeTooter #MontereyCounty #JohnnyMercer #JoniMitchell #winter #MontereyBay #PacificCoast #cycling #biking
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Some pics of snowbound Flers, a town whose name Google always tries to autocorrect, where we stopped briefly for lunch yesterday. It was snowing heavily by local standards so we huddled in the Hotel le Saint Germain in the shadow of the cathedral. I had an 80s-tastic île flottante for lunch.
ETA: i did do alt text for these pics but the Mammoth ate all my pics AGAIN when i tried to redraft to correct a spelling mistake and i cant be bothered to do them again, sorry
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Madness on the High Seas: AMG Elders Brave 70000 Tons of Metal By Steel DruhmWay back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1
Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound
Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!
Day One: The Aclimationing
After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!
As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.
From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.
Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).
Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.
Day Two: Any Port in the Storm
Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.
We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!
From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.
From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!
After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.
Day Three: Arctic Winds
Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.
80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.
After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3
Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.
Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.
From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.
After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!
Day Four: Survive and Endure
As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.
After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.
Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.
One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.
As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.
In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.
The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.
Final Thoughts:
70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.
Funniest Moment:
-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.
-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.
Bands We Missed:
Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.
Biggest Gripe:
The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.
Biggest Surprise:
I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!
Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.
Post Ship Depression Syndrome:
It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.
#2026 #Amorphis #Anthrax #BeastInBlack #BlogPost #CemeterySkyline #DarkTranquillity #Darkane #ErebAltor #Firewind #Groza #HarakiriForTheSky #Heathen #Hiraes #Hirax #Insomnium #JagPanzer #Kamelot #Kanonenfieber #MadnessOnTheHighSeasTheAMGEldersBrave70000TonsOfMetal #OrdenOgan #ParadiseLost #RhapodyOfFire #Satan #Saturnus #SkeletalRemains #Soen #Tribulation #Tyr #Vader #VioLence #Wolf #Xandria -
Madness on the High Seas: AMG Elders Brave 70000 Tons of Metal By Steel DruhmWay back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1
Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound
Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!
Day One: The Aclimationing
After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!
As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.
From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.
Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).
Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.
Day Two: Any Port in the Storm
Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.
We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!
From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.
From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!
After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.
Day Three: Arctic Winds
Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.
80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.
After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3
Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.
Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.
From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.
After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!
Day Four: Survive and Endure
As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.
After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.
Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.
One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.
As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.
In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.
The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.
Final Thoughts:
70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.
Funniest Moment:
-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.
-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.
Bands We Missed:
Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.
Biggest Gripe:
The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.
Biggest Surprise:
I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!
Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.
Post Ship Depression Syndrome:
It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.
#2026 #Amorphis #Anthrax #BeastInBlack #BlogPost #CemeterySkyline #DarkTranquillity #Darkane #ErebAltor #Firewind #Groza #HarakiriForTheSky #Heathen #Hiraes #Hirax #Insomnium #JagPanzer #Kamelot #Kanonenfieber #MadnessOnTheHighSeasTheAMGEldersBrave70000TonsOfMetal #OrdenOgan #ParadiseLost #RhapodyOfFire #Satan #Saturnus #SkeletalRemains #Soen #Tribulation #Tyr #Vader #VioLence #Wolf #Xandria -
Madness on the High Seas: AMG Elders Brave 70000 Tons of Metal By Steel DruhmWay back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1
Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound
Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!
Day One: The Aclimationing
After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!
As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.
From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.
Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).
Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.
Day Two: Any Port in the Storm
Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.
We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!
From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.
From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!
After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.
Day Three: Arctic Winds
Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.
80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.
After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3
Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.
Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.
From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.
After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!
Day Four: Survive and Endure
As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.
After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.
Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.
One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.
As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.
In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.
The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.
Final Thoughts:
70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.
Funniest Moment:
-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.
-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.
Bands We Missed:
Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.
Biggest Gripe:
The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.
Biggest Surprise:
I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!
Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.
Post Ship Depression Syndrome:
It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.
#2026 #Amorphis #Anthrax #BeastInBlack #BlogPost #CemeterySkyline #DarkTranquillity #Darkane #ErebAltor #Firewind #Groza #HarakiriForTheSky #Heathen #Hiraes #Hirax #Insomnium #JagPanzer #Kamelot #Kanonenfieber #MadnessOnTheHighSeasTheAMGEldersBrave70000TonsOfMetal #OrdenOgan #ParadiseLost #RhapodyOfFire #Satan #Saturnus #SkeletalRemains #Soen #Tribulation #Tyr #Vader #VioLence #Wolf #Xandria -
Madness on the High Seas: AMG Elders Brave 70000 Tons of Metal By Steel DruhmWay back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1
Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound
Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!
Day One: The Aclimationing
After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!
As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.
From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.
Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).
Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.
Day Two: Any Port in the Storm
Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.
We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!
From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.
From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!
After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.
Day Three: Arctic Winds
Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.
80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.
After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3
Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.
Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.
From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.
After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!
Day Four: Survive and Endure
As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.
After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.
Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.
One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.
As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.
In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.
The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.
Final Thoughts:
70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.
Funniest Moment:
-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.
-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.
Bands We Missed:
Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.
Biggest Gripe:
The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.
Biggest Surprise:
I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!
Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.
Post Ship Depression Syndrome:
It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.
#2026 #Amorphis #Anthrax #BeastInBlack #BlogPost #CemeterySkyline #DarkTranquillity #Darkane #ErebAltor #Firewind #Groza #HarakiriForTheSky #Heathen #Hiraes #Hirax #Insomnium #JagPanzer #Kamelot #Kanonenfieber #MadnessOnTheHighSeasTheAMGEldersBrave70000TonsOfMetal #OrdenOgan #ParadiseLost #RhapodyOfFire #Satan #Saturnus #SkeletalRemains #Soen #Tribulation #Tyr #Vader #VioLence #Wolf #Xandria -
Madness on the High Seas: AMG Elders Brave 70000 Tons of Metal By Steel DruhmWay back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of lifestyle. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1
Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound
Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to sunny Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our hometown on Long Island. This scrambled all the central and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!
Day One: The Aclimationing
After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!
As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the first series of drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a cool way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.
From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we ducked out to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.
Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).
Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.
Day Two: Any Port in the Storm
Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and wewould be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.
We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they took the stage, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!
From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.
From there we beered up and then caught Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to his being confined to his cabin and the band being banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!
After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.
Day Three: Arctic Winds
Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.
80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.
After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3
Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams was performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.
Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through that from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant once again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and they made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that, too.
From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.
After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even dropping in “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!
Day Four: Survive and Endure
As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.
After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.
Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.
One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.
As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.
In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to catch Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.
The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.
Final Thoughts:
70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.
Funniest Moment:
-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.
-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.
Band We Missed:
Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.
Biggest Gripe:
The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.
Biggest Surprise:
I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!
Post Ship Depression Syndrome:
It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.
#2026 #Amorphis #Anthrax #BeastInBlack #BlogPost #CemeterySkyline #DarkTranquillity #Darkane #ErebAltor #Firewind #Groza #HarakiriForTheSky #Heathen #Hiraes #Hirax #Insomnium #JagPanzer #Kamelot #Kanonenfieber #MadnessOnTheHighSeasTheAMGEldersBrave70000TonsOfMetal #OrdenOgan #ParadiseLost #RhapodyOfFire #Satan #Saturnus #SkeletalRemains #Soen #Tribulation #Tyr #Vader #VioLence #Wolf #Xandria -
The hedge makes its move
Snowbound defiant gesture
Middle finger raised#Haiku #OneHaikuADay #WritersCollective #writingcommunity #BackToHaiku #Seasons #Autumn #Fall #Winter #Snow #Hedge #Defiant #Defy #Finger #MiddleFinger #USA #Photography
December 14, 2025 -
Travelling through the Sierra Nevadas today. We stopped at the meadow in #Truckee, California where the #Donner Party was snowbound for the winter of 1846-1847. On the other hand, the Stephens Townsend Murphy Party successfully crossed the Sierras in 1844. What was the difference? Teamwork and decision-making in the face of uncertainty. One of the more fascinating lessons of California history.
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Sunday, snowbound, & #NowListening to #LAWoman by #TheDoors.
This, on balance, is my favourite #Doors album - Morrison, in particular, is on fire, & the overt blues roadhouse vibe is definitely my thing.
This is the reissue by #AnalogueProductions cut at 45. I don’t have anything with which to compare it, but Morrison growls, the guitar wails, & so it sounds plenty good to me.
The packaging, as always, is on point.
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Stuck in the Filter: January 2025’s Angry Misses
By Kenstrosity
We enter January under the impression that our underpowered filtration system couldn’t possibly get any more clogged up. Those blistering winds that overwhelm the vents with an even greater portion of debris and detritus pose a great challenge and a grave danger to my minions. Crawling through the refuse as more flies in all william-nilliam, my faithful lackeys brave the perils of the job and return, as they always do, with solid chunks of semi-precious ore.
And so I stand before you, my greedy little gremlins, in a freshly pressed flesh suit that only the elite like myself adorn, and present January 2025’s Filter finds. REJOICE!
Kenstrosity’s Fresh(ish) Finds
Bloodcrusher // Voidseeker [January 9th, 2025 – Barf Bag Records]
The sun rises on a new year, and most are angrier than ever. What’s a better way to process that anger than jamming a phat slab of brutal slamming deathcore into your gob, right? Oregon one-man-slammajamma Bloodcrusher understand this, and so sophomore outburst Voidseeker provides the goods. These are tunes meant not for musicality or delicacy but for brute-force face-caving. Ignorant stomps and trunk-rattling slams trade blows with serrated tremolo slides and a dry pong snare with a level of ferocity uncommon even in this unforgiving field (“Agonal Cherubim ft. Jack Christensen”). Feel the blistering heat of choice cuts “Serpents Circle ft. Azerate Nakamura” or “Death Battalion: Blood Company ft. The Gore Corps” and you have no choice but to submit to their immense heft. Prime lifting material, Voidseeker’s most straightforward cuts guarantee shattered PRs and spontaneous combustion of your favorite gym shorts as your musculature explodes in volume (“Slave Cult,” “Sanguis Aeternus,” “Blood Frenzy”). If you ask me, that sounds like a wonderful problem to have. As they pummel your cranium into dust with deadly slam riffs (“Malus et Mortis ft. Ryan Sporer,” “Seeker of the Void,” “Earthcrusher”) or hack and slash your bones with serrated tremolos (“Razors of Anguish,” “Methmouth PSA”), remember that Bloodcrusher is only trying to help.
Skaldr // Saṃsṛ [January 31st, 2025 – Avantgarde Music]
Virginia’s black metal upstarts Skaldr don’t do anything new. If you’ve heard any of black metal’s second wave, or even more melodic fare by some of my favorite meloblack bands like Oubliette, Stormkeep, and Vorga, Skaldr’s material feels like a cozy blanket of fresh snow. Kicking off their second record, Saṃsṛ, in epic fashion, “The Sum of All Loss” evokes a swaying dance that lulls me into its otherwordly arms. As Saṃsṛ progresses through its seven movements, tracks like the gorgeous “Storms Collide” and the lively “The Crossing” strike true every synapse in my brain, flooding my system with a goosebump-inducing fervor quelled solely by the burden of knowing it must end. Indeed, these short 43 minutes leave me ravenous for more, as Skaldr’s lead-focused wiles charm me over and over again without excess repetition of motifs or homogenization of tones and textures (“From Depth to Dark,” “The Cinder, The Flame, The Sun”). Some of its best moments eclipse its weakest, but weak moments are thankfully few and far between. In reality, Skaldr‘s most serious flaw is that they align so closely with their influences, thereby limiting Saṃsṛ‘s potential to stand out. Nonetheless, it represents one of the more engaging and well-realized examples of the style. Hear it!
Subterranean Lava Dragon // The Great Architect [January 23rd, 2025 – Self Release]
Formed from members of Black Crown Initiate and Minarchist, Pennsylvania’s Subterranean Lava Dragon take the successful parts of their pedigree’s progressive death metal history and transplant them into epic, fantastical soundscapes on their debut LP The Great Architect. Despite the riff-focused, off-kilter nature of The Great Architect, there lies a mystical, mythical backbone behind everything Subterranean Lava Dragon do (“The Great Architect,” “Bleed the Throne”). Delicate strums of the guitar, multifaceted percussion, and noodly soloing provide a thoughtful thread behind the heaviest crush of prog-death riffs and rabid roars, a combination that favorably recalls Blind the Huntsmen (“The Silent Kin,” “A Dream of Drowning”). In a tight 42 minutes, Subterranean Lava Dragon approaches progressive metal with a beastly heft and a compelling set of teeth—largely driven by the expert swing and swagger of the bass guitar—that differentiates The Great Architect from the greater pool of current prog. Yet, its pursuit of creative song structure, reminiscent of Obsidious at times, allows textured gradations and nuanced layers to elevate the final product (“A Question of Eris,” “Ov Ritual Matricide”). It is for these reasons that I heartily recommend The Great Architect to anyone who appreciates smart, but still dangerous and deadly, metal.
Thus Spoke’s Likeable Leftovers
Besna // Krásno [January 16th, 2025 – Self Release]
It was the esteemed Doom et Al who first made me aware of Slovakia’s post-black group Besna. 2022’s Zverstvá was charming and moving in equal respects, with its folky vibe amplifying the punch of blackened atmosphere and epicness. With Krásno, the group take things in a sharper, more refined, and still more compelling direction, showing real evolution and improvement. The vague leanings towards the electronic play a larger role (“Zmráka sa,” “Hranice”), but songs also make use of snappier, and stronger emotional surges (“Krásno,” “Mesto spí”), the polished production to the atmospherics counterbalanced sleekly by the rough, ardent screams and pleasingly prominent percussion. Krásno literally translates as ‘beautiful,’ and Besna get away with titling their sophomore so bluntly because it is accurate. Melodies are more sweeping and stirring (“Krásno,” “Oceán prachu,” “Meso spí”), and the integration of the harsh amidst the mellow is executed more affectively (“Hranice,” “Bezhviezdna obloha”) than in the band’s previous work. Particularly potent are Krásno’s subtle nods and reprises of harmonic themes spanning the record (“Krásno,” “Oceán prachu,” “Mesto spí”), recurring like waves in an uplifting way that reminds me of Deadly Carnage’s Through the Void, Above the Suns. Barely scraping past half an hour, the beautiful Krásno can be experienced repeatedly in short succession; which is the very least this little gem deserves.
Tyme’s Ticking Bomb
Trauma Bond // Summer Ends. Some Are Long Gone [January 12, 2025 – Self-Released]
Conceptualized by multi-instrumentalist Tom Mitchell1 and vocalist Eloise Chong-Gargette, London, England’s Trauma Bond plays grindcore with a twist. Formed in 2020 and on the heels of two other EPs—’21’s The Violence of Spring and ’22’s Winter’s Light—January 2025 sees Trauma Bond release its first proper album, Summer Ends. Some Are Long Gone, the third in a seasonally themed quadrilogy. Twisting and reshaping the boundaries of grindcore, not unlike Beaten to Death or Big Chef, Trauma Bond douses its grind with a gravy boat full of sludge. Past the moodily tribal and convincing intro “Brushed by the Storm” lies fourteen minutes of grindy goodness (“Regards,” “Repulsion”), sludgian skullduggery (“Chewing Fat”), and caustic cantankerousness (“Thumb Skin for Dinner”). You’ll feel violated and breathless even before staring down the barrel of nine-and-a-half minute closer “Dissonance,” a gargantuanly heavy ear-fuck that will liquefy what’s left of the organs inside your worthless skin with its slow, creeping sludgeastation. I was not expecting to hear what Trauma Bond served up, as the minimalist cover art drew me in initially, but I’m digging it muchly. Independently released, Summer Ends. Some Are Long Gone is a hell of an experience and should garner Trauma Bond a label partner. I’ll be hoping for that, continuing to support them, and looking forward to whatever autumn brings.
Iceberg’s Bleak Bygones
Barshasketh // Antinomian Asceticsm [January 9th, 2025 – W.T.C Productions]
My taste for black metal runs a narrow, anti-secondwave path. I want oppressive, nightmarish atmosphere, sure, but I also crave rich, modern production and technically proficient instrumental performances. Blending the fury of early Behemoth, the cinematic scope of Deathspell Omega, and the backbeat-supported drones of Panzerfaust, Barshasketh’s latest fell square in my target area. The pealing bells of “Radiant Aperture” beckoned me into Antinomian Asceticsm’s sacred space, a dark world populated with rippling drum fills, surprisingly melodic guitar work, and a varied vocal attack that consistently keeps things fresh. With the average track length in the 6-minute territory, repeat listens are necessary to reveal layers of rhythm and synth atmosphere that give the album its complexity. A throwaway interlude (“Phaneron Engulf”) and a drop in energy in the second and third tracks stop this from being a TYMHM entry, but anyone with a passing interest in technical black metal with lots of atmosphere should check this out.
Deus Sabaoth // Cycle of Death [January 17th, 2025 – Self-Released]
Deus Sabaoth have a lot going for them to catch my attention, beyond that absolutely entrancing cover art. Released under the shadow of war, this debut record from the Ukrainian trio bills itself as “Baroque metal,” another tag that piqued my interest. Simply put, Deus Sabaoth play melodic black metal, but there’s a lot more brewing under the surface. I hear the gothic, unsettled storytelling of The Vision Bleak, the drenching laments of Draconian, and the diligent, dynamic riffing of Mistur. The core metal ensemble of guitar, bass and drums is present, but the trio is augmented by a persistent accompaniment of piano and strings. The piano melodies—often doubled on the guitar—are where the baroque influence shines the greatest, echoing the bouncing, repetitive styling of a toccata (“Mercenary Seer,” “Faceless Warrior”). The vocals are something of an acquired taste, mainly due to their too-far-forward mix, but there’s a vitality and drive to this album that keeps me hooked throughout. And while its svelte 7 song runtime feels more like an EP at times, Cycle of Death shows enough promise from the young band that I’ll keep my eyes peeled in the future.
GardensTale’s Tab of Acid
I Don’t Do Drugs, I Am Drugs // I Don’t Do Drugs, I Am Drugs [January 27th, 2025 – Self-released]
When you name yourself after a famous Salvador Dalí quote, you better be prepared to back it up with an appropriate amount of weird shit. Thankfully, I Don’t Do Drugs, I Am Drugs strives to be worthy of the moniker. The band’s self-titled debut is a psychedelic prog-death nightmare of off-kilter riffs, structures that seem built upon dream logic, layers of ethereal synths and bizarre mixtures of vocal styles. The project was founded by Scott Hogg, guitarist for Cyclops Cataract, who is responsible for everything but the vocals. That includes all the songwriting. Hogg throws the listener off with an ever-shifting array of Gojira-esque plodding syncopation and thick, throbbing layers of harmonics that lean discordant without fully shifting into dissonance. But the songs float as easily into other-worldly soundscapes (“The Tree that Died in it’s[sic] Sleep”) or off-putting balladry (“Confierous”). BP of Madder Mortem handles vocals, and he displays an aptitude for the many facets required to buoy the intriguing but unintuitive music, his shouts and screams and cleans and hushes often layered together in strange strata either more or less than human. The combined result resembles a nightmare Devin may have had around 2005 after listening too much Ephel Duath. It’s not yet perfected; the ballad doesn’t quite work, and the compositions are sometimes a bit too dedicated to their lack of handholds. But it’s a hell of a trip, and a very convincing mission statement. A band to keep an eye on!
Dear Hollow’s Gunk Behooval
Bloodbark // Sacred Sound of Solitude [January 3rd, 2025 – Northern Silence Productions]
Bloodbark’s debut Bonebranches offered atmospheric black metal a minimalist spin, as cold and relentless as Paysage d’Hiver, as textured as Fen, and as barren as the mountains it depicts, exuding a natural crispness that recalls Falls of Rauros. Seven years later, we are graced with its follow-up, the majestic Sacred Sound of Solitude. Like its predecessor, the classic atmoblack template is cut with post-black to create an immensely rich and dynamic tapestry, lending all the hallmarks of frostbitten blackened sound (shrieks, blastbeats, tremolo) with the depth of a more modern approach. Twinkling leads, frosty synths, and forlorn piano survey the frigid vistas, while the more furious blackened portions scale snowbound peaks, utilized with the utmost restraint and bound by yearning chord progressions (“Glacial Respite,” “Griever’s Domain”). A new element in the act’s sound is clean vocals (“Time is Nothing,” “Augury of Snow”), which lend a far more melancholy vibe alongside trademark shrieking. Bloodbark offers top-tier atmospheric black metal, a reminder of the always-looming winter.
Great American Ghost // Tragedy of the Commons [January 31st, 2025 – SharpTone Records]
Boston’s Great American Ghost used to be extremely one-note, a coattail-rider of the likes of Kublai Khan and Knocked Loose. Deathcore muscles whose veins pulse to the beat of a hardcore heart, you’d be forgiven to see opener “Kerosene” as a sign of stagnation – chunky breakdowns and punk beats, feral barks and callouts, and a hardcore frowny face sported throughout. But Tragedy of the Commons is a far more layered affair, with echoes of metalcore past (“Ghost in Flesh,” “Hymns of Decay”), pronounced and tasteful nu-metal influence a la Deftones (“Genocide,” “Reality/Relapse”), and more variety in their rhythms and tempos, reflecting a Fit for an Autopsy-esque cutthroat intensity and ominous crescendos alongside a more pronounced influence of melody and manic dissonance (“Echoes of War,” “Forsaken”). Is it still meatheaded? Absolutely. Are its more “experimental” pieces in just well-trodden paths of metalcore bands past? Oh definitely. But gracing Great American Ghost a voice beyond the hardcore beatdowns does Tragedy of the Commons good and gives this one-trick pony another trail to wander.
Steel Druhm’s Detestible Digestibles
Guts // Nightmare Fuel [January 31st, 2025 – Self-Release]
Finland’s Guts play a weird “caveman on a Zamboni” variant of groove-heavy death metal that mixes OSDM with sludge and stoner elements for something uniquely sticky and pulversizing. On Nightmare Fuel, the material keeps grinding forward at a universal mid-tempo pace powered by phat, crushing grooves. “571” sounds like a Melvins song turned into a death metal assault, and it shouldn’t work, but it very much does. The blueprint for what Guts do is so basic, but they manage to keep cracking skulls on track after track as you remain locked in place helplessly. Nightmare Fuel is a case study into how less can be MOAR, as Guts staunchly adhere to their uncomplicated approach and make it work so well. Each track introduces a rudimentary riff and beats you savagely with it for 3-4 minutes with little variation. Things reset for the next track, and a new riff comes out to pound you into schnitzel all over again. This is the Guts experience, and you will be utterly mulched by massive prime movers like “Mortar” and “Ravenous Leech,” the latter of which sounds like an old Kyuss song refitted with death vocals and unleashed upon mankind. The relentlessly monochromatic riffs are things of minimalist elegance that you need to experience. Nightmare Fuel is a slow-motion ride straight into a brick wall, so brace for a concrete facial.
Show 1 footnote
- Additional guitars from Kurt Ballou of Converge. ↩
#2025 #AmericanMetal #AntinomianAsceticism #AtmosphericBlackMetal #AvantgardeMusic #BarfBagRecords #Barshasketh #BeatenToDeath #Behemoth #Besna #BigChef #BlackCrownInitiate #BlackMetal #BlindTheHuntsmen #Bloodbark #Bloodcrusher #BrutalDeathMetal #Converge #CycleOfDeath #CyclopsCataract #DeadlyCarnage #DeathMetal #Deathcore #DeathspellOmega #Deftones #DeusSabaoth #DevinTownsend #DoomMetal #Draconian #EphelDuath #FallsOfRauros #Fen #FitForAnAutopsy #Gojira #GothicMetal #GreatAmericanGhost #Grind #Grindcore #Guts #Hardcore #IDonTDoDrugsIAmDrugs #Jan25 #KnockedLoose #Krásno #KublaiKhan #MadderMortem #MelodicBlackMetal #Minarchist #Mistur #NightmareFuel #NorthernSilenceProductions #NuMetal #Oubliette #Panzerfaust #PaysageDHiver #PostBlack #ProgressiveDeathMetal #ProgressiveMetal #Review #Reviews #SacredSoundOfSolitude #SamSr_ #SelfRelease #SharpToneRecords #Skaldr #Slam #SlovakianMetal #Sludge #Stormkeep #StuckInTheFilter #SubterraneanLavaDragon #SummerEndsSomeAreLongGone #TheGreatArchitect #TheVisionBleak #TragedyOfTheCommons #TraumaBond #UKMetal #UkranianMetal #Voidseeker #Vorga #WTCProductions
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New vinyl day! So excited to finally have this Dazy on vinyl. Lame-O Records with another great artist & pressing. This will get a lot of playtime over the next few snowbound days at home. #vinyl #DIY #PowerPop #Dazy #LameORecords
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Stuck in the Filter: January 2025’s Angry Misses
By Kenstrosity
We enter January under the impression that our underpowered filtration system couldn’t possibly get any more clogged up. Those blistering winds that overwhelm the vents with an even greater portion of debris and detritus pose a great challenge and a grave danger to my minions. Crawling through the refuse as more flies in all william-nilliam, my faithful lackeys brave the perils of the job and return, as they always do, with solid chunks of semi-precious ore.
And so I stand before you, my greedy little gremlins, in a freshly pressed flesh suit that only the elite like myself adorn, and present January 2025’s Filter finds. REJOICE!
Kenstrosity’s Fresh(ish) Finds
Bloodcrusher // Voidseeker [January 9th, 2025 – Barf Bag Records]
The sun rises on a new year, and most are angrier than ever. What’s a better way to process that anger than jamming a phat slab of brutal slamming deathcore into your gob, right? Oregon one-man-slammajamma Bloodcrusher understand this, and so sophomore outburst Voidseeker provides the goods. These are tunes meant not for musicality or delicacy but for brute-force face-caving. Ignorant stomps and trunk-rattling slams trade blows with serrated tremolo slides and a dry pong snare with a level of ferocity uncommon even in this unforgiving field (“Agonal Cherubim ft. Jack Christensen”). Feel the blistering heat of choice cuts “Serpents Circle ft. Azerate Nakamura” or “Death Battalion: Blood Company ft. The Gore Corps” and you have no choice but to submit to their immense heft. Prime lifting material, Voidseeker’s most straightforward cuts guarantee shattered PRs and spontaneous combustion of your favorite gym shorts as your musculature explodes in volume (“Slave Cult,” “Sanguis Aeternus,” “Blood Frenzy”). If you ask me, that sounds like a wonderful problem to have. As they pummel your cranium into dust with deadly slam riffs (“Malus et Mortis ft. Ryan Sporer,” “Seeker of the Void,” “Earthcrusher”) or hack and slash your bones with serrated tremolos (“Razors of Anguish,” “Methmouth PSA”), remember that Bloodcrusher is only trying to help.
Skaldr // Saṃsṛ [January 31st, 2025 – Avantgarde Music]
Virginia’s black metal upstarts Skaldr don’t do anything new. If you’ve heard any of black metal’s second wave, or even more melodic fare by some of my favorite meloblack bands like Oubliette, Stormkeep, and Vorga, Skaldr’s material feels like a cozy blanket of fresh snow. Kicking off their second record, Saṃsṛ, in epic fashion, “The Sum of All Loss” evokes a swaying dance that lulls me into its otherwordly arms. As Saṃsṛ progresses through its seven movements, tracks like the gorgeous “Storms Collide” and the lively “The Crossing” strike true every synapse in my brain, flooding my system with a goosebump-inducing fervor quelled solely by the burden of knowing it must end. Indeed, these short 43 minutes leave me ravenous for more, as Skaldr’s lead-focused wiles charm me over and over again without excess repetition of motifs or homogenization of tones and textures (“From Depth to Dark,” “The Cinder, The Flame, The Sun”). Some of its best moments eclipse its weakest, but weak moments are thankfully few and far between. In reality, Skaldr‘s most serious flaw is that they align so closely with their influences, thereby limiting Saṃsṛ‘s potential to stand out. Nonetheless, it represents one of the more engaging and well-realized examples of the style. Hear it!
Subterranean Lava Dragon // The Great Architect [January 23rd, 2025 – Self Release]
Formed from members of Black Crown Initiate and Minarchist, Pennsylvania’s Subterranean Lava Dragon take the successful parts of their pedigree’s progressive death metal history and transplant them into epic, fantastical soundscapes on their debut LP The Great Architect. Despite the riff-focused, off-kilter nature of The Great Architect, there lies a mystical, mythical backbone behind everything Subterranean Lava Dragon do (“The Great Architect,” “Bleed the Throne”). Delicate strums of the guitar, multifaceted percussion, and noodly soloing provide a thoughtful thread behind the heaviest crush of prog-death riffs and rabid roars, a combination that favorably recalls Blind the Huntsmen (“The Silent Kin,” “A Dream of Drowning”). In a tight 42 minutes, Subterranean Lava Dragon approaches progressive metal with a beastly heft and a compelling set of teeth—largely driven by the expert swing and swagger of the bass guitar—that differentiates The Great Architect from the greater pool of current prog. Yet, its pursuit of creative song structure, reminiscent of Obsidious at times, allows textured gradations and nuanced layers to elevate the final product (“A Question of Eris,” “Ov Ritual Matricide”). It is for these reasons that I heartily recommend The Great Architect to anyone who appreciates smart, but still dangerous and deadly, metal.
Thus Spoke’s Likeable Leftovers
Besna // Krásno [January 16th, 2025 – Self Release]
It was the esteemed Doom et Al who first made me aware of Solvakian post-black group Besna. 2022’s Zverstvá was charming and moving in equal respects, with its folky vibe amplifying the punch of blackened atmosphere and epicness. With Krásno, the group take things in a sharper, more refined, and still more compelling direction, showing real evolution and improvement. The vague leanings towards the electronic play a larger role (“Zmráka sa,” “Hranice”), but songs also make use of snappier, and stronger emotional surges (“Krásno,” “Mesto spí”), the polished production to the atmospherics counterbalanced sleekly by the rough, ardent screams and pleasingly prominent percussion. Krásno literally translates as ‘beautiful,’ and Besna get away with titling their sophomore so bluntly because it is accurate. Melodies are more sweeping and stirring (“Krásno,” “Oceán prachu,” “Meso spí”), and the integration of the harsh amidst the mellow is executed more affectively (“Hranice,” “Bezhviezdna obloha”) than in the band’s previous work. Particularly potent are Krásno’s subtle nods and reprises of harmonic themes spanning the record (“Krásno,” “Oceán prachu,” “Mesto spí”), recurring like waves in an uplifting way that reminds me of Deadly Carnage‘s Through the Void, Above the Suns. Barely scraping past half an hour, the beautiful Krásno can be experienced repeatedly in short succession; which is the very least this little gem deserves.
Tyme’s Ticking Bomb
Trauma Bond // Summer Ends. Some Are Long Gone [January 12, 2025 – Self-Released]
Conceptualized by multi-instrumentalist Tom Mitchell1 and vocalist Eloise Chong-Gargette, London, England’s Trauma Bond plays grindcore with a twist. Formed in 2020 and on the heels of two other EPs—’21’s The Violence of Spring and ’22’s Winter’s Light—January 2025 sees Trauma Bond release its first proper album, Summer Ends. Some Are Long Gone, the third in a seasonally themed quadrilogy. Twisting and reshaping the boundaries of grindcore, not unlike Beaten to Death or Big Chef, Trauma Bond douses its grind with a gravy boat full of sludge. Past the moodily tribal and convincing intro “Brushed by the Storm” lies fourteen minutes of grindy goodness (“Regards,” “Repulsion”), sludgian skullduggery (“Chewing Fat”), and caustic cantankerousness (“Thumb Skin for Dinner”). You’ll feel violated and breathless even before staring down the barrel of nine-and-a-half minute closer “Dissonance,” a gargantuanly heavy ear-fuck that will liquefy what’s left of the organs inside your worthless skin with its slow, creeping sludgeastation. I was not expecting to hear what Trauma Bond served up, as the minimalist cover art drew me in initially, but I’m digging it muchly. Independently released, Summer Ends. Some Are Long Gone is a hell of an experience and should garner Trauma Bond a label partner. I’ll be hoping for that, continuing to support them, and looking forward to whatever autumn brings.
Iceberg’s Bleak Bygones
Barshasketh // Antinomian Asceticsm [January 9th, 2025 – W.T.C Productions]
My taste for black metal runs a narrow, anti-secondwave path. I want oppressive, nightmarish atmosphere, sure, but I also crave rich, modern production and technically proficient instrumental performances. Blending the fury of early Behemoth, the cinematic scope of Deathspell Omega, and the backbeat-supported drones of Panzerfaust, Barshasketh’s latest fell square in my target area. The pealing bells of “Radiant Aperture” beckoned me into Antinomian Asceticsm’s sacred space, a dark world populated with rippling drum fills, surprisingly melodic guitar work, and a varied vocal attack that consistently keeps things fresh. With the average track length in the 6-minute territory, repeat listens are necessary to reveal layers of rhythm and synth atmosphere that give the album its complexity. A throwaway interlude (“Phaneron Engulf”) and a drop in energy in the second and third tracks stop this from being a TYMHM entry, but anyone with a passing interest in technical black metal with lots of atmosphere should check this out.
Deus Sabaoth // Cycle of Death [January 17th, 2025 – Self-Released]
Deus Sabaoth have a lot going for them to catch my attention, beyond that absolutely entrancing cover art. Released under the shadow of war, this debut record from the Ukrainian trio bills itself as “Baroque metal,” another tag that piqued my interest. Simply put, Deus Sabaoth play melodic black metal, but there’s a lot more brewing under the surface. I hear the gothic, unsettled storytelling of The Vision Bleak, the drenching laments of Draconian, and the diligent, dynamic riffing of Mistur. The core metal ensemble of guitar, bass and drums is present, but the trio is augmented by a persistent accompaniment of piano and strings. The piano melodies—often doubled on the guitar—are where the baroque influence shines the greatest, echoing the bouncing, repetitive styling of a toccata (“Mercenary Seer,” “Faceless Warrior”). The vocals are something of an acquired taste, mainly due to their too-far-forward mix, but there’s a vitality and drive to this album that keeps me hooked throughout. And while its svelte 7 song runtime feels more like an EP at times, Cycle of Death shows enough promise from the young band that I’ll keep my eyes peeled in the future.
GardensTale’s Tab of Acid
I Don’t Do Drugs, I Am Drugs // I Don’t Do Drugs, I Am Drugs [January 27th, 2025 – Self-released]
When you name yourself after a famous Salvador Dalí quote, you better be prepared to back it up with an appropriate amount of weird shit. Thankfully, I Don’t Do Drugs, I Am Drugs strives to be worthy of the moniker. The band’s self-titled debut is a psychedelic prog-death nightmare of off-kilter riffs, structures that seem built upon dream logic, layers of ethereal synths and bizarre mixtures of vocal styles. The project was founded by Scott Hogg, guitarist for Cyclops Cataract, who is responsible for everything but the vocals. That includes all the songwriting. Hogg throws the listener off with an ever-shifting array of Gojira-esque plodding syncopation and thick, throbbing layers of harmonics that lean discordant without fully shifting into dissonance. But the songs float as easily into other-worldly soundscapes (“The Tree that Died in it’s[sic] Sleep”) or off-putting balladry (“Confierous”). BP of Madder Mortem handles vocals, and he displays an aptitude for the many facets required to buoy the intriguing but unintuitive music, his shouts and screams and cleans and hushes often layered together in strange strata either more or less than human. The combined result resembles a nightmare Devin may have had around 2005 after listening too much Ephel Duath. It’s not yet perfected; the ballad doesn’t quite work, and the compositions are sometimes a bit too dedicated to their lack of handholds. But it’s a hell of a trip, and a very convincing mission statement. A band to keep an eye on!
Dear Hollow’s Gunk Behooval
Bloodbark // Sacred Sound of Solitude [January 3rd, 2025 – Northern Silence Productions]
Bloodbark’s debut Bonebranches offered atmospheric black metal a minimalist spin, as cold and relentless as Paysage d’Hiver, as textured as Fen, and as barren as the mountains it depicts, exuding a natural crispness that recalls Falls of Rauros. Seven years later, we are graced with its follow-up, the majestic Sacred Sound of Solitude. Like its predecessor, the classic atmoblack template is cut with post-black to create an immensely rich and dynamic tapestry, lending all the hallmarks of frostbitten blackened sound (shrieks, blastbeats, tremolo) with the depth of a more modern approach. Twinkling leads, frosty synths, and forlorn piano survey the frigid vistas, while the more furious blackened portions scale snowbound peaks, utilized with the utmost restraint and bound by yearning chord progressions (“Glacial Respite,” “Griever’s Domain”). A new element in the act’s sound is clean vocals (“Time is Nothing,” “Augury of Snow”), which lend a far more melancholy vibe alongside trademark shrieking. Bloodbark offers top-tier atmospheric black metal, a reminder of the always-looming winter.
Great American Ghost // Tragedy of the Commons [January 31st, 2025 – SharpTone Records]
Boston’s Great American Ghost used to be extremely one-note, a coattail-rider of the likes of Kublai Khan and Knocked Loose. Deathcore muscles whose veins pulse to the beat of a hardcore heart, you’d be forgiven to see opener “Kerosene” as a sign of stagnation – chunky breakdowns and punk beats, feral barks and callouts, and a hardcore frowny face sported throughout. But Tragedy of the Commons is a far more layered affair, with echoes of metalcore past (“Ghost in Flesh,” “Hymns of Decay”), pronounced and tasteful nu-metal influence a la Deftones (“Genocide,” “Reality/Relapse”), and more variety in their rhythms and tempos, reflecting a Fit for an Autopsy-esque cutthroat intensity and ominous crescendos alongside a more pronounced influence of melody and manic dissonance (“Echoes of War,” “Forsaken”). Is it still meatheaded? Absolutely. Are its more “experimental” pieces in just well-trodden paths of metalcore bands past? Oh definitely. But gracing Great American Ghost a voice beyond the hardcore beatdowns does Tragedy of the Commons good and gives this one-trick pony another trail to wander.
Steel Druhm’s Detestible Digestibles
Guts // Nightmare Fuel [January 31st, 2025 – Self-Release]
Finland’s Guts play a weird “caveman on a Zamboni” variant of groove-heavy death metal that mixes OSDM with sludge and stoner elements for something uniquely sticky and pulversizing. On Nightmare Fuel, the material keeps grinding forward at a universal mid-tempo pace powered by phat, crushing grooves. “571” sounds like a Melvins song turned into a death metal assault, and it shouldn’t work, but it very much does. The blueprint for what Guts do is so basic, but they manage to keep cracking skulls on track after track as you remain locked in place helplessly. Nightmare Fuel is a case study into how less can be MOAR, as Guts staunchly adhere to their uncomplicated approach and make it work so well. Each track introduces a rudimentary riff and beats you savagely with it for 3-4 minutes with little variation. Things reset for the next track, and a new riff comes out to pound you into schnitzel all over again. This is the Guts experience, and you will be utterly mulched by massive prime movers like “Mortar” and “Ravenous Leech,” the latter of which sounds like an old Kyuss song refitted with death vocals and unleashed upon mankind. The relentlessly monochromatic riffs are things of minimalist elegance that you need to experience. Nightmare Fuel is a slow-motion ride straight into a brick wall, so brace for a concrete facial.
#2025 #AmericanMetal #AntinomianAsceticism #AtmosphericBlackMetal #AvantgardeMusic #BarfBagRecords #Barshasketh #BeatenToDeath #Behemoth #Besna #BigChef #BlackCrownInitiate #BlackMetal #BlindTheHuntsmen #Bloodbark #Bloodcrusher #BrutalDeathMetal #Converge #CycleOfDeath #CyclopsCataract #DeadlyCarnage #DeathMetal #Deathcore #DeathspellOmega #Deftones #DeusSabaoth #DevinTownsend #DoomMetal #Draconian #EphelDuath #FallsOfRauros #Fen #FitForAnAutopsy #Gojira #GothicMetal #GreatAmericanGhost #Grind #Grindcore #Guts #Hardcore #IDonTDoDrugsIAmDrugs #Jan25 #KnockedLoose #Krásno #KublaiKhan #MadderMortem #MelodicBlackMetal #Minarchist #Mistur #NightmareFuel #NorthernSilenceProductions #NuMetal #Oubliette #Panzerfaust #PaysageDHiver #PostBlack #ProgressiveDeathMetal #ProgressiveMetal #Review #Reviews #SacredSoundOfSolitude #SamSr_ #SelfRelease #SharpToneRecords #Skaldr #Slam #SlovakianMetal #Sludge #Stormkeep #StuckInTheFilter #SubterraneanLavaDragon #SummerEndsSomeAreLongGone #TheGreatArchitect #TheVisionBleak #TragedyOfTheCommons #TraumaBond #UKMetal #UkranianMetal #Voidseeker #Vorga #WTCProductions
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Stuck in the Filter: January 2025’s Angry Misses
By Kenstrosity
We enter January under the impression that our underpowered filtration system couldn’t possibly get any more clogged up. Those blistering winds that overwhelm the vents with an even greater portion of debris and detritus pose a great challenge and a grave danger to my minions. Crawling through the refuse as more flies in all william-nilliam, my faithful lackeys brave the perils of the job and return, as they always do, with solid chunks of semi-precious ore.
And so I stand before you, my greedy little gremlins, in a freshly pressed flesh suit that only the elite like myself adorn, and present January 2025’s Filter finds. REJOICE!
Kenstrosity’s Fresh(ish) Finds
Bloodcrusher // Voidseeker [January 9th, 2025 – Barf Bag Records]
The sun rises on a new year, and most are angrier than ever. What’s a better way to process that anger than jamming a phat slab of brutal slamming deathcore into your gob, right? Oregon one-man-slammajamma Bloodcrusher understand this, and so sophomore outburst Voidseeker provides the goods. These are tunes meant not for musicality or delicacy but for brute-force face-caving. Ignorant stomps and trunk-rattling slams trade blows with serrated tremolo slides and a dry pong snare with a level of ferocity uncommon even in this unforgiving field (“Agonal Cherubim ft. Jack Christensen”). Feel the blistering heat of choice cuts “Serpents Circle ft. Azerate Nakamura” or “Death Battalion: Blood Company ft. The Gore Corps” and you have no choice but to submit to their immense heft. Prime lifting material, Voidseeker’s most straightforward cuts guarantee shattered PRs and spontaneous combustion of your favorite gym shorts as your musculature explodes in volume (“Slave Cult,” “Sanguis Aeternus,” “Blood Frenzy”). If you ask me, that sounds like a wonderful problem to have. As they pummel your cranium into dust with deadly slam riffs (“Malus et Mortis ft. Ryan Sporer,” “Seeker of the Void,” “Earthcrusher”) or hack and slash your bones with serrated tremolos (“Razors of Anguish,” “Methmouth PSA”), remember that Bloodcrusher is only trying to help.
Skaldr // Saṃsṛ [January 31st, 2025 – Avantgarde Music]
Virginia’s black metal upstarts Skaldr don’t do anything new. If you’ve heard any of black metal’s second wave, or even more melodic fare by some of my favorite meloblack bands like Oubliette, Stormkeep, and Vorga, Skaldr’s material feels like a cozy blanket of fresh snow. Kicking off their second record, Saṃsṛ, in epic fashion, “The Sum of All Loss” evokes a swaying dance that lulls me into its otherwordly arms. As Saṃsṛ progresses through its seven movements, tracks like the gorgeous “Storms Collide” and the lively “The Crossing” strike true every synapse in my brain, flooding my system with a goosebump-inducing fervor quelled solely by the burden of knowing it must end. Indeed, these short 43 minutes leave me ravenous for more, as Skaldr’s lead-focused wiles charm me over and over again without excess repetition of motifs or homogenization of tones and textures (“From Depth to Dark,” “The Cinder, The Flame, The Sun”). Some of its best moments eclipse its weakest, but weak moments are thankfully few and far between. In reality, Skaldr‘s most serious flaw is that they align so closely with their influences, thereby limiting Saṃsṛ‘s potential to stand out. Nonetheless, it represents one of the more engaging and well-realized examples of the style. Hear it!
Subterranean Lava Dragon // The Great Architect [January 23rd, 2025 – Self Release]
Formed from members of Black Crown Initiate and Minarchist, Pennsylvania’s Subterranean Lava Dragon take the successful parts of their pedigree’s progressive death metal history and transplant them into epic, fantastical soundscapes on their debut LP The Great Architect. Despite the riff-focused, off-kilter nature of The Great Architect, there lies a mystical, mythical backbone behind everything Subterranean Lava Dragon do (“The Great Architect,” “Bleed the Throne”). Delicate strums of the guitar, multifaceted percussion, and noodly soloing provide a thoughtful thread behind the heaviest crush of prog-death riffs and rabid roars, a combination that favorably recalls Blind the Huntsmen (“The Silent Kin,” “A Dream of Drowning”). In a tight 42 minutes, Subterranean Lava Dragon approaches progressive metal with a beastly heft and a compelling set of teeth—largely driven by the expert swing and swagger of the bass guitar—that differentiates The Great Architect from the greater pool of current prog. Yet, its pursuit of creative song structure, reminiscent of Obsidious at times, allows textured gradations and nuanced layers to elevate the final product (“A Question of Eris,” “Ov Ritual Matricide”). It is for these reasons that I heartily recommend The Great Architect to anyone who appreciates smart, but still dangerous and deadly, metal.
Thus Spoke’s Likeable Leftovers
Besna // Krásno [January 16th, 2025 – Self Release]
It was the esteemed Doom et Al who first made me aware of Solvakian post-black group Besna. 2022’s Zverstvá was charming and moving in equal respects, with its folky vibe amplifying the punch of blackened atmosphere and epicness. With Krásno, the group take things in a sharper, more refined, and still more compelling direction, showing real evolution and improvement. The vague leanings towards the electronic play a larger role (“Zmráka sa,” “Hranice”), but songs also make use of snappier, and stronger emotional surges (“Krásno,” “Mesto spí”), the polished production to the atmospherics counterbalanced sleekly by the rough, ardent screams and pleasingly prominent percussion. Krásno literally translates as ‘beautiful,’ and Besna get away with titling their sophomore so bluntly because it is accurate. Melodies are more sweeping and stirring (“Krásno,” “Oceán prachu,” “Meso spí”), and the integration of the harsh amidst the mellow is executed more affectively (“Hranice,” “Bezhviezdna obloha”) than in the band’s previous work. Particularly potent are Krásno’s subtle nods and reprises of harmonic themes spanning the record (“Krásno,” “Oceán prachu,” “Mesto spí”), recurring like waves in an uplifting way that reminds me of Deadly Carnage‘s Through the Void, Above the Suns. Barely scraping past half an hour, the beautiful Krásno can be experienced repeatedly in short succession; which is the very least this little gem deserves.
Tyme’s Ticking Bomb
Trauma Bond // Summer Ends. Some Are Long Gone [January 12, 2025 – Self-Released]
Conceptualized by multi-instrumentalist Tom Mitchell1 and vocalist Eloise Chong-Gargette, London, England’s Trauma Bond plays grindcore with a twist. Formed in 2020 and on the heels of two other EPs—’21’s The Violence of Spring and ’22’s Winter’s Light—January 2025 sees Trauma Bond release its first proper album, Summer Ends. Some Are Long Gone, the third in a seasonally themed quadrilogy. Twisting and reshaping the boundaries of grindcore, not unlike Beaten to Death or Big Chef, Trauma Bond douses its grind with a gravy boat full of sludge. Past the moodily tribal and convincing intro “Brushed by the Storm” lies fourteen minutes of grindy goodness (“Regards,” “Repulsion”), sludgian skullduggery (“Chewing Fat”), and caustic cantankerousness (“Thumb Skin for Dinner”). You’ll feel violated and breathless even before staring down the barrel of nine-and-a-half minute closer “Dissonance,” a gargantuanly heavy ear-fuck that will liquefy what’s left of the organs inside your worthless skin with its slow, creeping sludgeastation. I was not expecting to hear what Trauma Bond served up, as the minimalist cover art drew me in initially, but I’m digging it muchly. Independently released, Summer Ends. Some Are Long Gone is a hell of an experience and should garner Trauma Bond a label partner. I’ll be hoping for that, continuing to support them, and looking forward to whatever autumn brings.
Iceberg’s Bleak Bygones
Barshasketh // Antinomian Asceticsm [January 9th, 2025 – W.T.C Productions]
My taste for black metal runs a narrow, anti-secondwave path. I want oppressive, nightmarish atmosphere, sure, but I also crave rich, modern production and technically proficient instrumental performances. Blending the fury of early Behemoth, the cinematic scope of Deathspell Omega, and the backbeat-supported drones of Panzerfaust, Barshasketh’s latest fell square in my target area. The pealing bells of “Radiant Aperture” beckoned me into Antinomian Asceticsm’s sacred space, a dark world populated with rippling drum fills, surprisingly melodic guitar work, and a varied vocal attack that consistently keeps things fresh. With the average track length in the 6-minute territory, repeat listens are necessary to reveal layers of rhythm and synth atmosphere that give the album its complexity. A throwaway interlude (“Phaneron Engulf”) and a drop in energy in the second and third tracks stop this from being a TYMHM entry, but anyone with a passing interest in technical black metal with lots of atmosphere should check this out.
Deus Sabaoth // Cycle of Death [January 17th, 2025 – Self-Released]
Deus Sabaoth have a lot going for them to catch my attention, beyond that absolutely entrancing cover art. Released under the shadow of war, this debut record from the Ukrainian trio bills itself as “Baroque metal,” another tag that piqued my interest. Simply put, Deus Sabaoth play melodic black metal, but there’s a lot more brewing under the surface. I hear the gothic, unsettled storytelling of The Vision Bleak, the drenching laments of Draconian, and the diligent, dynamic riffing of Mistur. The core metal ensemble of guitar, bass and drums is present, but the trio is augmented by a persistent accompaniment of piano and strings. The piano melodies—often doubled on the guitar—are where the baroque influence shines the greatest, echoing the bouncing, repetitive styling of a toccata (“Mercenary Seer,” “Faceless Warrior”). The vocals are something of an acquired taste, mainly due to their too-far-forward mix, but there’s a vitality and drive to this album that keeps me hooked throughout. And while its svelte 7 song runtime feels more like an EP at times, Cycle of Death shows enough promise from the young band that I’ll keep my eyes peeled in the future.
GardensTale’s Tab of Acid
I Don’t Do Drugs, I Am Drugs // I Don’t Do Drugs, I Am Drugs [January 27th, 2025 – Self-released]
When you name yourself after a famous Salvador Dalí quote, you better be prepared to back it up with an appropriate amount of weird shit. Thankfully, I Don’t Do Drugs, I Am Drugs strives to be worthy of the moniker. The band’s self-titled debut is a psychedelic prog-death nightmare of off-kilter riffs, structures that seem built upon dream logic, layers of ethereal synths and bizarre mixtures of vocal styles. The project was founded by Scott Hogg, guitarist for Cyclops Cataract, who is responsible for everything but the vocals. That includes all the songwriting. Hogg throws the listener off with an ever-shifting array of Gojira-esque plodding syncopation and thick, throbbing layers of harmonics that lean discordant without fully shifting into dissonance. But the songs float as easily into other-worldly soundscapes (“The Tree that Died in it’s[sic] Sleep”) or off-putting balladry (“Confierous”). BP of Madder Mortem handles vocals, and he displays an aptitude for the many facets required to buoy the intriguing but unintuitive music, his shouts and screams and cleans and hushes often layered together in strange strata either more or less than human. The combined result resembles a nightmare Devin may have had around 2005 after listening too much Ephel Duath. It’s not yet perfected; the ballad doesn’t quite work, and the compositions are sometimes a bit too dedicated to their lack of handholds. But it’s a hell of a trip, and a very convincing mission statement. A band to keep an eye on!
Dear Hollow’s Gunk Behooval
Bloodbark // Sacred Sound of Solitude [January 3rd, 2025 – Northern Silence Productions]
Bloodbark’s debut Bonebranches offered atmospheric black metal a minimalist spin, as cold and relentless as Paysage d’Hiver, as textured as Fen, and as barren as the mountains it depicts, exuding a natural crispness that recalls Falls of Rauros. Seven years later, we are graced with its follow-up, the majestic Sacred Sound of Solitude. Like its predecessor, the classic atmoblack template is cut with post-black to create an immensely rich and dynamic tapestry, lending all the hallmarks of frostbitten blackened sound (shrieks, blastbeats, tremolo) with the depth of a more modern approach. Twinkling leads, frosty synths, and forlorn piano survey the frigid vistas, while the more furious blackened portions scale snowbound peaks, utilized with the utmost restraint and bound by yearning chord progressions (“Glacial Respite,” “Griever’s Domain”). A new element in the act’s sound is clean vocals (“Time is Nothing,” “Augury of Snow”), which lend a far more melancholy vibe alongside trademark shrieking. Bloodbark offers top-tier atmospheric black metal, a reminder of the always-looming winter.
Great American Ghost // Tragedy of the Commons [January 31st, 2025 – SharpTone Records]
Boston’s Great American Ghost used to be extremely one-note, a coattail-rider of the likes of Kublai Khan and Knocked Loose. Deathcore muscles whose veins pulse to the beat of a hardcore heart, you’d be forgiven to see opener “Kerosene” as a sign of stagnation – chunky breakdowns and punk beats, feral barks and callouts, and a hardcore frowny face sported throughout. But Tragedy of the Commons is a far more layered affair, with echoes of metalcore past (“Ghost in Flesh,” “Hymns of Decay”), pronounced and tasteful nu-metal influence a la Deftones (“Genocide,” “Reality/Relapse”), and more variety in their rhythms and tempos, reflecting a Fit for an Autopsy-esque cutthroat intensity and ominous crescendos alongside a more pronounced influence of melody and manic dissonance (“Echoes of War,” “Forsaken”). Is it still meatheaded? Absolutely. Are its more “experimental” pieces in just well-trodden paths of metalcore bands past? Oh definitely. But gracing Great American Ghost a voice beyond the hardcore beatdowns does Tragedy of the Commons good and gives this one-trick pony another trail to wander.
Steel Druhm’s Detestible Digestibles
Guts // Nightmare Fuel [January 31st, 2025 – Self-Release]
Finland’s Guts play a weird “caveman on a Zamboni” variant of groove-heavy death metal that mixes OSDM with sludge and stoner elements for something uniquely sticky and pulversizing. On Nightmare Fuel, the material keeps grinding forward at a universal mid-tempo pace powered by phat, crushing grooves. “571” sounds like a Melvins song turned into a death metal assault, and it shouldn’t work, but it very much does. The blueprint for what Guts do is so basic, but they manage to keep cracking skulls on track after track as you remain locked in place helplessly. Nightmare Fuel is a case study into how less can be MOAR, as Guts staunchly adhere to their uncomplicated approach and make it work so well. Each track introduces a rudimentary riff and beats you savagely with it for 3-4 minutes with little variation. Things reset for the next track, and a new riff comes out to pound you into schnitzel all over again. This is the Guts experience, and you will be utterly mulched by massive prime movers like “Mortar” and “Ravenous Leech,” the latter of which sounds like an old Kyuss song refitted with death vocals and unleashed upon mankind. The relentlessly monochromatic riffs are things of minimalist elegance that you need to experience. Nightmare Fuel is a slow-motion ride straight into a brick wall, so brace for a concrete facial.
#2025 #AmericanMetal #AntinomianAsceticism #AtmosphericBlackMetal #AvantgardeMusic #BarfBagRecords #Barshasketh #BeatenToDeath #Behemoth #Besna #BigChef #BlackCrownInitiate #BlackMetal #BlindTheHuntsmen #Bloodbark #Bloodcrusher #BrutalDeathMetal #Converge #CycleOfDeath #CyclopsCataract #DeadlyCarnage #DeathMetal #Deathcore #DeathspellOmega #Deftones #DeusSabaoth #DevinTownsend #DoomMetal #Draconian #EphelDuath #FallsOfRauros #Fen #FitForAnAutopsy #Gojira #GothicMetal #GreatAmericanGhost #Grind #Grindcore #Guts #Hardcore #IDonTDoDrugsIAmDrugs #Jan25 #KnockedLoose #Krásno #KublaiKhan #MadderMortem #MelodicBlackMetal #Minarchist #Mistur #NightmareFuel #NorthernSilenceProductions #NuMetal #Oubliette #Panzerfaust #PaysageDHiver #PostBlack #ProgressiveDeathMetal #ProgressiveMetal #Review #Reviews #SacredSoundOfSolitude #SamSr_ #SelfRelease #SharpToneRecords #Skaldr #Slam #SlovakianMetal #Sludge #Stormkeep #StuckInTheFilter #SubterraneanLavaDragon #SummerEndsSomeAreLongGone #TheGreatArchitect #TheVisionBleak #TragedyOfTheCommons #TraumaBond #UKMetal #UkranianMetal #Voidseeker #Vorga #WTCProductions
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Stuck in the Filter: January 2025’s Angry Misses
By Kenstrosity
We enter January under the impression that our underpowered filtration system couldn’t possibly get any more clogged up. Those blistering winds that overwhelm the vents with an even greater portion of debris and detritus pose a great challenge and a grave danger to my minions. Crawling through the refuse as more flies in all william-nilliam, my faithful lackeys brave the perils of the job and return, as they always do, with solid chunks of semi-precious ore.
And so I stand before you, my greedy little gremlins, in a freshly pressed flesh suit that only the elite like myself adorn, and present January 2025’s Filter finds. REJOICE!
Kenstrosity’s Fresh(ish) Finds
Bloodcrusher // Voidseeker [January 9th, 2025 – Barf Bag Records]
The sun rises on a new year, and most are angrier than ever. What’s a better way to process that anger than jamming a phat slab of brutal slamming deathcore into your gob, right? Oregon one-man-slammajamma Bloodcrusher understand this, and so sophomore outburst Voidseeker provides the goods. These are tunes meant not for musicality or delicacy but for brute-force face-caving. Ignorant stomps and trunk-rattling slams trade blows with serrated tremolo slides and a dry pong snare with a level of ferocity uncommon even in this unforgiving field (“Agonal Cherubim ft. Jack Christensen”). Feel the blistering heat of choice cuts “Serpents Circle ft. Azerate Nakamura” or “Death Battalion: Blood Company ft. The Gore Corps” and you have no choice but to submit to their immense heft. Prime lifting material, Voidseeker’s most straightforward cuts guarantee shattered PRs and spontaneous combustion of your favorite gym shorts as your musculature explodes in volume (“Slave Cult,” “Sanguis Aeternus,” “Blood Frenzy”). If you ask me, that sounds like a wonderful problem to have. As they pummel your cranium into dust with deadly slam riffs (“Malus et Mortis ft. Ryan Sporer,” “Seeker of the Void,” “Earthcrusher”) or hack and slash your bones with serrated tremolos (“Razors of Anguish,” “Methmouth PSA”), remember that Bloodcrusher is only trying to help.
Skaldr // Saṃsṛ [January 31st, 2025 – Avantgarde Music]
Virginia’s black metal upstarts Skaldr don’t do anything new. If you’ve heard any of black metal’s second wave, or even more melodic fare by some of my favorite meloblack bands like Oubliette, Stormkeep, and Vorga, Skaldr’s material feels like a cozy blanket of fresh snow. Kicking off their second record, Saṃsṛ, in epic fashion, “The Sum of All Loss” evokes a swaying dance that lulls me into its otherwordly arms. As Saṃsṛ progresses through its seven movements, tracks like the gorgeous “Storms Collide” and the lively “The Crossing” strike true every synapse in my brain, flooding my system with a goosebump-inducing fervor quelled solely by the burden of knowing it must end. Indeed, these short 43 minutes leave me ravenous for more, as Skaldr’s lead-focused wiles charm me over and over again without excess repetition of motifs or homogenization of tones and textures (“From Depth to Dark,” “The Cinder, The Flame, The Sun”). Some of its best moments eclipse its weakest, but weak moments are thankfully few and far between. In reality, Skaldr‘s most serious flaw is that they align so closely with their influences, thereby limiting Saṃsṛ‘s potential to stand out. Nonetheless, it represents one of the more engaging and well-realized examples of the style. Hear it!
Subterranean Lava Dragon // The Great Architect [January 23rd, 2025 – Self Release]
Formed from members of Black Crown Initiate and Minarchist, Pennsylvania’s Subterranean Lava Dragon take the successful parts of their pedigree’s progressive death metal history and transplant them into epic, fantastical soundscapes on their debut LP The Great Architect. Despite the riff-focused, off-kilter nature of The Great Architect, there lies a mystical, mythical backbone behind everything Subterranean Lava Dragon do (“The Great Architect,” “Bleed the Throne”). Delicate strums of the guitar, multifaceted percussion, and noodly soloing provide a thoughtful thread behind the heaviest crush of prog-death riffs and rabid roars, a combination that favorably recalls Blind the Huntsmen (“The Silent Kin,” “A Dream of Drowning”). In a tight 42 minutes, Subterranean Lava Dragon approaches progressive metal with a beastly heft and a compelling set of teeth—largely driven by the expert swing and swagger of the bass guitar—that differentiates The Great Architect from the greater pool of current prog. Yet, its pursuit of creative song structure, reminiscent of Obsidious at times, allows textured gradations and nuanced layers to elevate the final product (“A Question of Eris,” “Ov Ritual Matricide”). It is for these reasons that I heartily recommend The Great Architect to anyone who appreciates smart, but still dangerous and deadly, metal.
Thus Spoke’s Likeable Leftovers
Besna // Krásno [January 16th, 2025 – Self Release]
It was the esteemed Doom et Al who first made me aware of Solvakian post-black group Besna. 2022’s Zverstvá was charming and moving in equal respects, with its folky vibe amplifying the punch of blackened atmosphere and epicness. With Krásno, the group take things in a sharper, more refined, and still more compelling direction, showing real evolution and improvement. The vague leanings towards the electronic play a larger role (“Zmráka sa,” “Hranice”), but songs also make use of snappier, and stronger emotional surges (“Krásno,” “Mesto spí”), the polished production to the atmospherics counterbalanced sleekly by the rough, ardent screams and pleasingly prominent percussion. Krásno literally translates as ‘beautiful,’ and Besna get away with titling their sophomore so bluntly because it is accurate. Melodies are more sweeping and stirring (“Krásno,” “Oceán prachu,” “Meso spí”), and the integration of the harsh amidst the mellow is executed more affectively (“Hranice,” “Bezhviezdna obloha”) than in the band’s previous work. Particularly potent are Krásno’s subtle nods and reprises of harmonic themes spanning the record (“Krásno,” “Oceán prachu,” “Mesto spí”), recurring like waves in an uplifting way that reminds me of Deadly Carnage‘s Through the Void, Above the Suns. Barely scraping past half an hour, the beautiful Krásno can be experienced repeatedly in short succession; which is the very least this little gem deserves.
Tyme’s Ticking Bomb
Trauma Bond // Summer Ends. Some Are Long Gone [January 12, 2025 – Self-Released]
Conceptualized by multi-instrumentalist Tom Mitchell1 and vocalist Eloise Chong-Gargette, London, England’s Trauma Bond plays grindcore with a twist. Formed in 2020 and on the heels of two other EPs—’21’s The Violence of Spring and ’22’s Winter’s Light—January 2025 sees Trauma Bond release its first proper album, Summer Ends. Some Are Long Gone, the third in a seasonally themed quadrilogy. Twisting and reshaping the boundaries of grindcore, not unlike Beaten to Death or Big Chef, Trauma Bond douses its grind with a gravy boat full of sludge. Past the moodily tribal and convincing intro “Brushed by the Storm” lies fourteen minutes of grindy goodness (“Regards,” “Repulsion”), sludgian skullduggery (“Chewing Fat”), and caustic cantankerousness (“Thumb Skin for Dinner”). You’ll feel violated and breathless even before staring down the barrel of nine-and-a-half minute closer “Dissonance,” a gargantuanly heavy ear-fuck that will liquefy what’s left of the organs inside your worthless skin with its slow, creeping sludgeastation. I was not expecting to hear what Trauma Bond served up, as the minimalist cover art drew me in initially, but I’m digging it muchly. Independently released, Summer Ends. Some Are Long Gone is a hell of an experience and should garner Trauma Bond a label partner. I’ll be hoping for that, continuing to support them, and looking forward to whatever autumn brings.
Iceberg’s Bleak Bygones
Barshasketh // Antinomian Asceticsm [January 9th, 2025 – W.T.C Productions]
My taste for black metal runs a narrow, anti-secondwave path. I want oppressive, nightmarish atmosphere, sure, but I also crave rich, modern production and technically proficient instrumental performances. Blending the fury of early Behemoth, the cinematic scope of Deathspell Omega, and the backbeat-supported drones of Panzerfaust, Barshasketh’s latest fell square in my target area. The pealing bells of “Radiant Aperture” beckoned me into Antinomian Asceticsm’s sacred space, a dark world populated with rippling drum fills, surprisingly melodic guitar work, and a varied vocal attack that consistently keeps things fresh. With the average track length in the 6-minute territory, repeat listens are necessary to reveal layers of rhythm and synth atmosphere that give the album its complexity. A throwaway interlude (“Phaneron Engulf”) and a drop in energy in the second and third tracks stop this from being a TYMHM entry, but anyone with a passing interest in technical black metal with lots of atmosphere should check this out.
Deus Sabaoth // Cycle of Death [January 17th, 2025 – Self-Released]
Deus Sabaoth have a lot going for them to catch my attention, beyond that absolutely entrancing cover art. Released under the shadow of war, this debut record from the Ukrainian trio bills itself as “Baroque metal,” another tag that piqued my interest. Simply put, Deus Sabaoth play melodic black metal, but there’s a lot more brewing under the surface. I hear the gothic, unsettled storytelling of The Vision Bleak, the drenching laments of Draconian, and the diligent, dynamic riffing of Mistur. The core metal ensemble of guitar, bass and drums is present, but the trio is augmented by a persistent accompaniment of piano and strings. The piano melodies—often doubled on the guitar—are where the baroque influence shines the greatest, echoing the bouncing, repetitive styling of a toccata (“Mercenary Seer,” “Faceless Warrior”). The vocals are something of an acquired taste, mainly due to their too-far-forward mix, but there’s a vitality and drive to this album that keeps me hooked throughout. And while its svelte 7 song runtime feels more like an EP at times, Cycle of Death shows enough promise from the young band that I’ll keep my eyes peeled in the future.
GardensTale’s Tab of Acid
I Don’t Do Drugs, I Am Drugs // I Don’t Do Drugs, I Am Drugs [January 27th, 2025 – Self-released]
When you name yourself after a famous Salvador Dalí quote, you better be prepared to back it up with an appropriate amount of weird shit. Thankfully, I Don’t Do Drugs, I Am Drugs strives to be worthy of the moniker. The band’s self-titled debut is a psychedelic prog-death nightmare of off-kilter riffs, structures that seem built upon dream logic, layers of ethereal synths and bizarre mixtures of vocal styles. The project was founded by Scott Hogg, guitarist for Cyclops Cataract, who is responsible for everything but the vocals. That includes all the songwriting. Hogg throws the listener off with an ever-shifting array of Gojira-esque plodding syncopation and thick, throbbing layers of harmonics that lean discordant without fully shifting into dissonance. But the songs float as easily into other-worldly soundscapes (“The Tree that Died in it’s[sic] Sleep”) or off-putting balladry (“Confierous”). BP of Madder Mortem handles vocals, and he displays an aptitude for the many facets required to buoy the intriguing but unintuitive music, his shouts and screams and cleans and hushes often layered together in strange strata either more or less than human. The combined result resembles a nightmare Devin may have had around 2005 after listening too much Ephel Duath. It’s not yet perfected; the ballad doesn’t quite work, and the compositions are sometimes a bit too dedicated to their lack of handholds. But it’s a hell of a trip, and a very convincing mission statement. A band to keep an eye on!
Dear Hollow’s Gunk Behooval
Bloodbark // Sacred Sound of Solitude [January 3rd, 2025 – Northern Silence Productions]
Bloodbark’s debut Bonebranches offered atmospheric black metal a minimalist spin, as cold and relentless as Paysage d’Hiver, as textured as Fen, and as barren as the mountains it depicts, exuding a natural crispness that recalls Falls of Rauros. Seven years later, we are graced with its follow-up, the majestic Sacred Sound of Solitude. Like its predecessor, the classic atmoblack template is cut with post-black to create an immensely rich and dynamic tapestry, lending all the hallmarks of frostbitten blackened sound (shrieks, blastbeats, tremolo) with the depth of a more modern approach. Twinkling leads, frosty synths, and forlorn piano survey the frigid vistas, while the more furious blackened portions scale snowbound peaks, utilized with the utmost restraint and bound by yearning chord progressions (“Glacial Respite,” “Griever’s Domain”). A new element in the act’s sound is clean vocals (“Time is Nothing,” “Augury of Snow”), which lend a far more melancholy vibe alongside trademark shrieking. Bloodbark offers top-tier atmospheric black metal, a reminder of the always-looming winter.
Great American Ghost // Tragedy of the Commons [January 31st, 2025 – SharpTone Records]
Boston’s Great American Ghost used to be extremely one-note, a coattail-rider of the likes of Kublai Khan and Knocked Loose. Deathcore muscles whose veins pulse to the beat of a hardcore heart, you’d be forgiven to see opener “Kerosene” as a sign of stagnation – chunky breakdowns and punk beats, feral barks and callouts, and a hardcore frowny face sported throughout. But Tragedy of the Commons is a far more layered affair, with echoes of metalcore past (“Ghost in Flesh,” “Hymns of Decay”), pronounced and tasteful nu-metal influence a la Deftones (“Genocide,” “Reality/Relapse”), and more variety in their rhythms and tempos, reflecting a Fit for an Autopsy-esque cutthroat intensity and ominous crescendos alongside a more pronounced influence of melody and manic dissonance (“Echoes of War,” “Forsaken”). Is it still meatheaded? Absolutely. Are its more “experimental” pieces in just well-trodden paths of metalcore bands past? Oh definitely. But gracing Great American Ghost a voice beyond the hardcore beatdowns does Tragedy of the Commons good and gives this one-trick pony another trail to wander.
Steel Druhm’s Detestible Digestibles
Guts // Nightmare Fuel [January 31st, 2025 – Self-Release]
Finland’s Guts play a weird “caveman on a Zamboni” variant of groove-heavy death metal that mixes OSDM with sludge and stoner elements for something uniquely sticky and pulversizing. On Nightmare Fuel, the material keeps grinding forward at a universal mid-tempo pace powered by phat, crushing grooves. “571” sounds like a Melvins song turned into a death metal assault, and it shouldn’t work, but it very much does. The blueprint for what Guts do is so basic, but they manage to keep cracking skulls on track after track as you remain locked in place helplessly. Nightmare Fuel is a case study into how less can be MOAR, as Guts staunchly adhere to their uncomplicated approach and make it work so well. Each track introduces a rudimentary riff and beats you savagely with it for 3-4 minutes with little variation. Things reset for the next track, and a new riff comes out to pound you into schnitzel all over again. This is the Guts experience, and you will be utterly mulched by massive prime movers like “Mortar” and “Ravenous Leech,” the latter of which sounds like an old Kyuss song refitted with death vocals and unleashed upon mankind. The relentlessly monochromatic riffs are things of minimalist elegance that you need to experience. Nightmare Fuel is a slow-motion ride straight into a brick wall, so brace for a concrete facial.
#2025 #AmericanMetal #AntinomianAsceticism #AtmosphericBlackMetal #AvantgardeMusic #BarfBagRecords #Barshasketh #BeatenToDeath #Behemoth #Besna #BigChef #BlackCrownInitiate #BlackMetal #BlindTheHuntsmen #Bloodbark #Bloodcrusher #BrutalDeathMetal #Converge #CycleOfDeath #CyclopsCataract #DeadlyCarnage #DeathMetal #Deathcore #DeathspellOmega #Deftones #DeusSabaoth #DevinTownsend #DoomMetal #Draconian #EphelDuath #FallsOfRauros #Fen #FitForAnAutopsy #Gojira #GothicMetal #GreatAmericanGhost #Grind #Grindcore #Guts #Hardcore #IDonTDoDrugsIAmDrugs #Jan25 #KnockedLoose #Krásno #KublaiKhan #MadderMortem #MelodicBlackMetal #Minarchist #Mistur #NightmareFuel #NorthernSilenceProductions #NuMetal #Oubliette #Panzerfaust #PaysageDHiver #PostBlack #ProgressiveDeathMetal #ProgressiveMetal #Review #Reviews #SacredSoundOfSolitude #SamSr_ #SelfRelease #SharpToneRecords #Skaldr #Slam #SlovakianMetal #Sludge #Stormkeep #StuckInTheFilter #SubterraneanLavaDragon #SummerEndsSomeAreLongGone #TheGreatArchitect #TheVisionBleak #TragedyOfTheCommons #TraumaBond #UKMetal #UkranianMetal #Voidseeker #Vorga #WTCProductions
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Stuck in the Filter: January 2025’s Angry Misses
By Kenstrosity
We enter January under the impression that our underpowered filtration system couldn’t possibly get any more clogged up. Those blistering winds that overwhelm the vents with an even greater portion of debris and detritus pose a great challenge and a grave danger to my minions. Crawling through the refuse as more flies in all william-nilliam, my faithful lackeys brave the perils of the job and return, as they always do, with solid chunks of semi-precious ore.
And so I stand before you, my greedy little gremlins, in a freshly pressed flesh suit that only the elite like myself adorn, and present January 2025’s Filter finds. REJOICE!
Kenstrosity’s Fresh(ish) Finds
Bloodcrusher // Voidseeker [January 9th, 2025 – Barf Bag Records]
The sun rises on a new year, and most are angrier than ever. What’s a better way to process that anger than jamming a phat slab of brutal slamming deathcore into your gob, right? Oregon one-man-slammajamma Bloodcrusher understand this, and so sophomore outburst Voidseeker provides the goods. These are tunes meant not for musicality or delicacy but for brute-force face-caving. Ignorant stomps and trunk-rattling slams trade blows with serrated tremolo slides and a dry pong snare with a level of ferocity uncommon even in this unforgiving field (“Agonal Cherubim ft. Jack Christensen”). Feel the blistering heat of choice cuts “Serpents Circle ft. Azerate Nakamura” or “Death Battalion: Blood Company ft. The Gore Corps” and you have no choice but to submit to their immense heft. Prime lifting material, Voidseeker’s most straightforward cuts guarantee shattered PRs and spontaneous combustion of your favorite gym shorts as your musculature explodes in volume (“Slave Cult,” “Sanguis Aeternus,” “Blood Frenzy”). If you ask me, that sounds like a wonderful problem to have. As they pummel your cranium into dust with deadly slam riffs (“Malus et Mortis ft. Ryan Sporer,” “Seeker of the Void,” “Earthcrusher”) or hack and slash your bones with serrated tremolos (“Razors of Anguish,” “Methmouth PSA”), remember that Bloodcrusher is only trying to help.
Skaldr // Saṃsṛ [January 31st, 2025 – Avantgarde Music]
Virginia’s black metal upstarts Skaldr don’t do anything new. If you’ve heard any of black metal’s second wave, or even more melodic fare by some of my favorite meloblack bands like Oubliette, Stormkeep, and Vorga, Skaldr’s material feels like a cozy blanket of fresh snow. Kicking off their second record, Saṃsṛ, in epic fashion, “The Sum of All Loss” evokes a swaying dance that lulls me into its otherwordly arms. As Saṃsṛ progresses through its seven movements, tracks like the gorgeous “Storms Collide” and the lively “The Crossing” strike true every synapse in my brain, flooding my system with a goosebump-inducing fervor quelled solely by the burden of knowing it must end. Indeed, these short 43 minutes leave me ravenous for more, as Skaldr’s lead-focused wiles charm me over and over again without excess repetition of motifs or homogenization of tones and textures (“From Depth to Dark,” “The Cinder, The Flame, The Sun”). Some of its best moments eclipse its weakest, but weak moments are thankfully few and far between. In reality, Skaldr‘s most serious flaw is that they align so closely with their influences, thereby limiting Saṃsṛ‘s potential to stand out. Nonetheless, it represents one of the more engaging and well-realized examples of the style. Hear it!
Subterranean Lava Dragon // The Great Architect [January 23rd, 2025 – Self Release]
Formed from members of Black Crown Initiate and Minarchist, Pennsylvania’s Subterranean Lava Dragon take the successful parts of their pedigree’s progressive death metal history and transplant them into epic, fantastical soundscapes on their debut LP The Great Architect. Despite the riff-focused, off-kilter nature of The Great Architect, there lies a mystical, mythical backbone behind everything Subterranean Lava Dragon do (“The Great Architect,” “Bleed the Throne”). Delicate strums of the guitar, multifaceted percussion, and noodly soloing provide a thoughtful thread behind the heaviest crush of prog-death riffs and rabid roars, a combination that favorably recalls Blind the Huntsmen (“The Silent Kin,” “A Dream of Drowning”). In a tight 42 minutes, Subterranean Lava Dragon approaches progressive metal with a beastly heft and a compelling set of teeth—largely driven by the expert swing and swagger of the bass guitar—that differentiates The Great Architect from the greater pool of current prog. Yet, its pursuit of creative song structure, reminiscent of Obsidious at times, allows textured gradations and nuanced layers to elevate the final product (“A Question of Eris,” “Ov Ritual Matricide”). It is for these reasons that I heartily recommend The Great Architect to anyone who appreciates smart, but still dangerous and deadly, metal.
Thus Spoke’s Likeable Leftovers
Besna // Krásno [January 16th, 2025 – Self Release]
It was the esteemed Doom et Al who first made me aware of Solvakian post-black group Besna. 2022’s Zverstvá was charming and moving in equal respects, with its folky vibe amplifying the punch of blackened atmosphere and epicness. With Krásno, the group take things in a sharper, more refined, and still more compelling direction, showing real evolution and improvement. The vague leanings towards the electronic play a larger role (“Zmráka sa,” “Hranice”), but songs also make use of snappier, and stronger emotional surges (“Krásno,” “Mesto spí”), the polished production to the atmospherics counterbalanced sleekly by the rough, ardent screams and pleasingly prominent percussion. Krásno literally translates as ‘beautiful,’ and Besna get away with titling their sophomore so bluntly because it is accurate. Melodies are more sweeping and stirring (“Krásno,” “Oceán prachu,” “Meso spí”), and the integration of the harsh amidst the mellow is executed more affectively (“Hranice,” “Bezhviezdna obloha”) than in the band’s previous work. Particularly potent are Krásno’s subtle nods and reprises of harmonic themes spanning the record (“Krásno,” “Oceán prachu,” “Mesto spí”), recurring like waves in an uplifting way that reminds me of Deadly Carnage‘s Through the Void, Above the Suns. Barely scraping past half an hour, the beautiful Krásno can be experienced repeatedly in short succession; which is the very least this little gem deserves.
Tyme’s Ticking Bomb
Trauma Bond // Summer Ends. Some Are Long Gone [January 12, 2025 – Self-Released]
Conceptualized by multi-instrumentalist Tom Mitchell1 and vocalist Eloise Chong-Gargette, London, England’s Trauma Bond plays grindcore with a twist. Formed in 2020 and on the heels of two other EPs—’21’s The Violence of Spring and ’22’s Winter’s Light—January 2025 sees Trauma Bond release its first proper album, Summer Ends. Some Are Long Gone, the third in a seasonally themed quadrilogy. Twisting and reshaping the boundaries of grindcore, not unlike Beaten to Death or Big Chef, Trauma Bond douses its grind with a gravy boat full of sludge. Past the moodily tribal and convincing intro “Brushed by the Storm” lies fourteen minutes of grindy goodness (“Regards,” “Repulsion”), sludgian skullduggery (“Chewing Fat”), and caustic cantankerousness (“Thumb Skin for Dinner”). You’ll feel violated and breathless even before staring down the barrel of nine-and-a-half minute closer “Dissonance,” a gargantuanly heavy ear-fuck that will liquefy what’s left of the organs inside your worthless skin with its slow, creeping sludgeastation. I was not expecting to hear what Trauma Bond served up, as the minimalist cover art drew me in initially, but I’m digging it muchly. Independently released, Summer Ends. Some Are Long Gone is a hell of an experience and should garner Trauma Bond a label partner. I’ll be hoping for that, continuing to support them, and looking forward to whatever autumn brings.
Iceberg’s Bleak Bygones
Barshasketh // Antinomian Asceticsm [January 9th, 2025 – W.T.C Productions]
My taste for black metal runs a narrow, anti-secondwave path. I want oppressive, nightmarish atmosphere, sure, but I also crave rich, modern production and technically proficient instrumental performances. Blending the fury of early Behemoth, the cinematic scope of Deathspell Omega, and the backbeat-supported drones of Panzerfaust, Barshasketh’s latest fell square in my target area. The pealing bells of “Radiant Aperture” beckoned me into Antinomian Asceticsm’s sacred space, a dark world populated with rippling drum fills, surprisingly melodic guitar work, and a varied vocal attack that consistently keeps things fresh. With the average track length in the 6-minute territory, repeat listens are necessary to reveal layers of rhythm and synth atmosphere that give the album its complexity. A throwaway interlude (“Phaneron Engulf”) and a drop in energy in the second and third tracks stop this from being a TYMHM entry, but anyone with a passing interest in technical black metal with lots of atmosphere should check this out.
Deus Sabaoth // Cycle of Death [January 17th, 2025 – Self-Released]
Deus Sabaoth have a lot going for them to catch my attention, beyond that absolutely entrancing cover art. Released under the shadow of war, this debut record from the Ukrainian trio bills itself as “Baroque metal,” another tag that piqued my interest. Simply put, Deus Sabaoth play melodic black metal, but there’s a lot more brewing under the surface. I hear the gothic, unsettled storytelling of The Vision Bleak, the drenching laments of Draconian, and the diligent, dynamic riffing of Mistur. The core metal ensemble of guitar, bass and drums is present, but the trio is augmented by a persistent accompaniment of piano and strings. The piano melodies—often doubled on the guitar—are where the baroque influence shines the greatest, echoing the bouncing, repetitive styling of a toccata (“Mercenary Seer,” “Faceless Warrior”). The vocals are something of an acquired taste, mainly due to their too-far-forward mix, but there’s a vitality and drive to this album that keeps me hooked throughout. And while its svelte 7 song runtime feels more like an EP at times, Cycle of Death shows enough promise from the young band that I’ll keep my eyes peeled in the future.
GardensTale’s Tab of Acid
I Don’t Do Drugs, I Am Drugs // I Don’t Do Drugs, I Am Drugs [January 27th, 2025 – Self-released]
When you name yourself after a famous Salvador Dalí quote, you better be prepared to back it up with an appropriate amount of weird shit. Thankfully, I Don’t Do Drugs, I Am Drugs strives to be worthy of the moniker. The band’s self-titled debut is a psychedelic prog-death nightmare of off-kilter riffs, structures that seem built upon dream logic, layers of ethereal synths and bizarre mixtures of vocal styles. The project was founded by Scott Hogg, guitarist for Cyclops Cataract, who is responsible for everything but the vocals. That includes all the songwriting. Hogg throws the listener off with an ever-shifting array of Gojira-esque plodding syncopation and thick, throbbing layers of harmonics that lean discordant without fully shifting into dissonance. But the songs float as easily into other-worldly soundscapes (“The Tree that Died in it’s[sic] Sleep”) or off-putting balladry (“Confierous”). BP of Madder Mortem handles vocals, and he displays an aptitude for the many facets required to buoy the intriguing but unintuitive music, his shouts and screams and cleans and hushes often layered together in strange strata either more or less than human. The combined result resembles a nightmare Devin may have had around 2005 after listening too much Ephel Duath. It’s not yet perfected; the ballad doesn’t quite work, and the compositions are sometimes a bit too dedicated to their lack of handholds. But it’s a hell of a trip, and a very convincing mission statement. A band to keep an eye on!
Dear Hollow’s Gunk Behooval
Bloodbark // Sacred Sound of Solitude [January 3rd, 2025 – Northern Silence Productions]
Bloodbark’s debut Bonebranches offered atmospheric black metal a minimalist spin, as cold and relentless as Paysage d’Hiver, as textured as Fen, and as barren as the mountains it depicts, exuding a natural crispness that recalls Falls of Rauros. Seven years later, we are graced with its follow-up, the majestic Sacred Sound of Solitude. Like its predecessor, the classic atmoblack template is cut with post-black to create an immensely rich and dynamic tapestry, lending all the hallmarks of frostbitten blackened sound (shrieks, blastbeats, tremolo) with the depth of a more modern approach. Twinkling leads, frosty synths, and forlorn piano survey the frigid vistas, while the more furious blackened portions scale snowbound peaks, utilized with the utmost restraint and bound by yearning chord progressions (“Glacial Respite,” “Griever’s Domain”). A new element in the act’s sound is clean vocals (“Time is Nothing,” “Augury of Snow”), which lend a far more melancholy vibe alongside trademark shrieking. Bloodbark offers top-tier atmospheric black metal, a reminder of the always-looming winter.
Great American Ghost // Tragedy of the Commons [January 31st, 2025 – SharpTone Records]
Boston’s Great American Ghost used to be extremely one-note, a coattail-rider of the likes of Kublai Khan and Knocked Loose. Deathcore muscles whose veins pulse to the beat of a hardcore heart, you’d be forgiven to see opener “Kerosene” as a sign of stagnation – chunky breakdowns and punk beats, feral barks and callouts, and a hardcore frowny face sported throughout. But Tragedy of the Commons is a far more layered affair, with echoes of metalcore past (“Ghost in Flesh,” “Hymns of Decay”), pronounced and tasteful nu-metal influence a la Deftones (“Genocide,” “Reality/Relapse”), and more variety in their rhythms and tempos, reflecting a Fit for an Autopsy-esque cutthroat intensity and ominous crescendos alongside a more pronounced influence of melody and manic dissonance (“Echoes of War,” “Forsaken”). Is it still meatheaded? Absolutely. Are its more “experimental” pieces in just well-trodden paths of metalcore bands past? Oh definitely. But gracing Great American Ghost a voice beyond the hardcore beatdowns does Tragedy of the Commons good and gives this one-trick pony another trail to wander.
Steel Druhm’s Detestible Digestibles
Guts // Nightmare Fuel [January 31st, 2025 – Self-Release]
Finland’s Guts play a weird “caveman on a Zamboni” variant of groove-heavy death metal that mixes OSDM with sludge and stoner elements for something uniquely sticky and pulversizing. On Nightmare Fuel, the material keeps grinding forward at a universal mid-tempo pace powered by phat, crushing grooves. “571” sounds like a Melvins song turned into a death metal assault, and it shouldn’t work, but it very much does. The blueprint for what Guts do is so basic, but they manage to keep cracking skulls on track after track as you remain locked in place helplessly. Nightmare Fuel is a case study into how less can be MOAR, as Guts staunchly adhere to their uncomplicated approach and make it work so well. Each track introduces a rudimentary riff and beats you savagely with it for 3-4 minutes with little variation. Things reset for the next track, and a new riff comes out to pound you into schnitzel all over again. This is the Guts experience, and you will be utterly mulched by massive prime movers like “Mortar” and “Ravenous Leech,” the latter of which sounds like an old Kyuss song refitted with death vocals and unleashed upon mankind. The relentlessly monochromatic riffs are things of minimalist elegance that you need to experience. Nightmare Fuel is a slow-motion ride straight into a brick wall, so brace for a concrete facial.
#2025 #AmericanMetal #AntinomianAsceticism #AtmosphericBlackMetal #AvantgardeMusic #BarfBagRecords #Barshasketh #BeatenToDeath #Behemoth #Besna #BigChef #BlackCrownInitiate #BlackMetal #BlindTheHuntsmen #Bloodbark #Bloodcrusher #BrutalDeathMetal #Converge #CycleOfDeath #CyclopsCataract #DeadlyCarnage #DeathMetal #Deathcore #DeathspellOmega #Deftones #DeusSabaoth #DevinTownsend #DoomMetal #Draconian #EphelDuath #FallsOfRauros #Fen #FitForAnAutopsy #Gojira #GothicMetal #GreatAmericanGhost #Grind #Grindcore #Guts #Hardcore #IDonTDoDrugsIAmDrugs #Jan25 #KnockedLoose #Krásno #KublaiKhan #MadderMortem #MelodicBlackMetal #Minarchist #Mistur #NightmareFuel #NorthernSilenceProductions #NuMetal #Oubliette #Panzerfaust #PaysageDHiver #PostBlack #ProgressiveDeathMetal #ProgressiveMetal #Review #Reviews #SacredSoundOfSolitude #SamSr_ #SelfRelease #SharpToneRecords #Skaldr #Slam #SlovakianMetal #Sludge #Stormkeep #StuckInTheFilter #SubterraneanLavaDragon #SummerEndsSomeAreLongGone #TheGreatArchitect #TheVisionBleak #TragedyOfTheCommons #TraumaBond #UKMetal #UkranianMetal #Voidseeker #Vorga #WTCProductions
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TV MOVIE REVIEW: "THE MORE THE MERRIER" - HALLMARK
A snowbound hospital becomes a metaphor for community bonding.https://hotchka.com/the-more-the-merrier-review
#TheMoreTheMerrier #HallmarkChannel #HallmarkPlus #CountdownToChristmas #Christmas #Entertainment #Movies #Television #TV #Streaming
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𝗪𝗜𝗞𝗜𝗣𝗘𝗗𝗜𝗔'𝗦 𝗙𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗨𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗜𝗖𝗟𝗘
✧ Donner Party ✧
The Donner Party was a group of American pioneers who set out for California in a wagon train, but became snowbound in the Sierra Nevada mountains in November 1846. Running out of food, some resorted to cannibalism to survive. The journey west usually took between four and six months, but the Donner Party had been sl...
#SierraNevada #DonnerParty #HastingsCutoff #RockyMountains' #California #Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donner_Party -
Love this stretch of winding road that hugs every curve and contour as it heads across the North Pennines in Co Durham, NE England, from Blanchland to Stanhope.
At this time of the year, if the temperature drops, it can often quickly become snowbound.
As remote as it looks, the area once boasted numerous lead mines and a number of long-abandoned farmsteads nearby bear witness to some of the hardy folk who once managed to make this place their home.#england #pennines #durham #monochrome #landscape #photography