#non-monogamy — Public Fediverse posts

I put together a bed side table for the other side of my bed, because Greg's visiting in a few weeks.

I got to put together some things in the drawer for him today:
Lip balm
Hair ties
Deodorant
Tissues
Paracetamol
Lube
USB-C cables
UK/Australia socket
Paper and pens
Wipes
Fan
Little bowl to put his ring in while he's sleeping

It feels less lonely to have little bits around the house for when he's here.

#LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #Australia #UK #dating #relationship

Usually #visibility campaigns and #polyamory are somehow represented somewhere on the fediverse but I'm not finding this one:

Week of visibility for #nonmonogamy
https://www.weekofvisibility.com/

"A global celebration of non-monogamous communities, identities, and values!
July 6-12, 2026"

Your thoughts?

https://thistlenfern.org/@wendythedruid/116530892882294571

I rattled this off last night pissed off, but if anyone has insight, please share.

#Polyamory #ThroupleLife #QueerRelationships #PolyCommunity #AutonomyInLove #NonMonogamy #LGBTQLove #PolyAwareness #RelationshipAnarchy #ChosenFamily #TransJoy #QueerJoy #PolyValid #Interdependence #LoveWithoutRules

Ok here go my #introduction

Hello :)

My name is sondra

I find it hard to describe myself when in a very open context, as in a instance that is not very specific to a place or a thing. But this one is gay so let's go with my gay badges:

I am #bisexual and have founded the oldest continuos and still living bi organization of #Brazil, a long time ago with people way more talented than me who still run it (bisides.com)

Now as #immigrant in #Argentina I run a queer antifascist mastodon instance: mariconear (I am @[email protected] there)

I am in the fediverse since 2019 in a brazilian instance and I am the annoying fed person in every group I participate

Still in the alternative arena, I practice #BDSM been working as a professional shibari rigger for some years and now as sex worker.

I am non-monogamous and used to organize a very informal and horizontal #nonmonogamy event.

The not so queer parts of my life:

Love #cinema , live with 2 cats, like to be outside, to sleep early, good #series and eating with friends.

I study #philosophy , like to read sci-fi and have a bunch of proyects that I don't have still the discipline to actually work on.

Also love music, history, art in general, to learn, meet people, to hug, autumn and spring, banana and peanuts.

Ok I will stop now. It is dangerous having so many space to write :p

Nice to meet you!

Greg and I usually never argue, and have maybe 5 or 6 arguments in the 8 years we've been dating (15 years we've known each other).

Over the past week we've had 3 arguments. We're fine, it's just one thing we're working through.

But this post isn't about that. This post is about the realisation that every time we argue I get a headache and constipated for like 2 days after.

My body literally does NOT cope when we argue. It's perfectly happy to fight with any other motherfucker that annoys me, though.

#dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #Australia #UK

Greg worked in the office on Tuesday, and then went away for his anniversary with his wife on Wednesday/Thursday.. so I haven't really been able to spend proper time with him for 3 days.

He's back home now and is going to call in about 90 minutes when he wakes up, which is fantastic and I can't wait, but also I'm still feeling so sad about missing all that time with him.

Non-monogamous relationships are hard at times, and adding long distance on to them makes them really hurt.

#NonMonogamy #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship

It's our 8th anniversary on Sunday, and a huge bunch of flowers just arrived from Vanessa Pringle Floral Designs, and they're absolutely gorgeous.

I hate that we never get to have our anniversary together in person, but I appreciate that he's so thoughtful about the practical ways to help us feel closer in spite of the tyranny of distance.

Long distance is hard. Being loved by him is easy.

#relationship #dating #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #Australia #UK #anniversary #flowers

Cuddling with strangers made me realize that our society is really bad at encouraging intimacy.

I wrote about it, why it's a problem, and what I think we can do about it (hint: it's not just polyamory).

🔗 https://teunvanson.eu/cuddles/

#intimacy #RelationshipAnarchy #nonmonogamy #cuddling #love #polyamory #BearBlog #blog #BlogPost

La Romettine
Salle polyvalente de la Romettine
Route de Champ Forain, 05000 Gap

https://maps.app.goo.gl/Meij8UcV7KSSMjQ4A
https://maour.eu/event-venue/la-romettine/

#bd #bandedessinee #comic #shortstory #illustration #drawing #dessin #art #digital #polyamour #polyamorous #polya #enm #nonmonogamy #amour #relation #education #chat #cats #genre

I'm having thoughts about long distance relationships, and how being apart again after time together might feel more difficult for me because of my audhd.

Like, there the rsd aspect, but on top of that there's also other parts:

- I get to experience lots of dopamine while Greg is around, just from being cuddled and touched, from having him with me in person, from the sex and play, from the good food he cooks me... and a bunch of other things

- I get to actually relax and unmask to a point where I feel like myself instead of trying to juggle people's expectations of me

- I am allowed to fuck up and be forgiven

...then I get back to my own life and all that goes away again. I feel sad, but also there's this terrible feeling of not coping with life that hovers until I get back to my normal routine and remember that I am used to this struggle.

It sucks.

#dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #Australia #UK #audhd #autism #adhd #disability #neurodiverse #MentalHealth

Le Point Commun
https://maps.app.goo.gl/U3387cAj9CG3Ug9x5

Bar associatif, Pl. Jean Jaurès, 07300 Tournon-sur-Rhône
https://maour.eu/event-venue/le-point-commun/

#bd #bandedessinee #comic #shortstory #illustration #drawing #dessin #art #digital #polyamour #polyamorous #polya #enm #nonmonogamy #amour #relation #education #chat #cats #genre

Over the last several years, the price of getting by from month to month has risen beyond the means of many of us. Purchasing a single family home or condominium has become a laughable proposition. Meanwhile, rents have skyrocketed. Groceries, utilities, tuition, child care, transportation, entertainment, travel are all up.
https://medium.com/prismnpen/who-can-afford-to-be-monogamous-anymore-970075bac69a?sk=e9f3312dd5b27ff3c304fdbcc224924e

#LGBTQ #Queer #Nonmonogamy #CooperativeLiving

Me:
Honestly, I wouldn't trust myself climbing up a ladder anymore..

Greg:
..not with those nipples.

(we had just been talking about how I clipped my nipple ring with the shower door)

#HeMakesMeLaugh #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #Australia #UK

|WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY, FRIDAY |

We spent more time just relaxing at home. We've been watching TV together, playing some games, and spending a lot of time just chatting and enjoying being in the same physical space again.

We did some shopping, and have made plans for dinner with friends for next weekend.

_____

FOXES SEEN - 9
SQUIRRELS SEEN - 0
TOTAL FOXES SEEN - 15
TOTAL SQUIRRELS SEEN - 2

#UK #Australia #dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy

| TUESDAY |

We woke up a little later and spent some time snuggling and listening to the rain. Greg had to work again—normally on a Tuesday (and Wednesday) he'd have to go into the office in London, but he asked his manager about potentially working from home while I'm here to cut down on covid risks, and his manager agreed.. so he'll get to work from home my entire visit. I spent the day curled up next to him while he worked, reading and watching some shows.

There's an amazing Vietnamese restaurant in Plumstead called Viet Baguette, which we always visit when I here. I really felt like their food for lunch, but we had planned to have fish and chips for dinner so we just had a quesadilla for lunch.

After dinner we popped out to do some shopping and look for a bed. Greg's been sleeping on a fold out futon for a while now, and has decided to get a proper bed finally. We got to shop for a mattress last night (and found one), which was actually quite a lot of fun. It felt really domestic and home-making-ey to be out shopping for the bed we're going to share, even though I'm only here for 6 weeks.

We picked up fish and chips on the way home, which is something I love to have while I'm here because the chips remind me of the proper chips we used to get when I was a kid.

_____

FOXES SEEN - 3
SQUIRRELS SEEN - 2

TOTAL FOXES SEEN - 6
TOTAL SQUIRRELS SEEN - 2

#UK #Australia #dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy

| MONDAY |

Greg got up early to drop his wife to work, and climbed back into bed with me when he got home. There's something so delicious about being snuggled awake and fucked before even opening my eyes.. it puts me in a fabulous mood for the rest of the day.

Greg worked all day, and I got to just curl up in the bed next to his desk. I watched a couple of episodes of The Undoing and read a little. We chatted in between his meetings, and it was lovely to just be able to reach over and touch him or to see him working right next to me.

In the evening we took Alethea to the vet for her vaccination and post enucleation check up—everything is fine. Once we got home we joined his wife and had some dinner, watched some more of The Pitt and True Blood.

I noticed in the first seen we meet Tara in, she's reading a copy of Shock Doctrine by Naomi Klein. I was so excited we had to stop the episode for me to talk about how fascinating it is that she's reading that book, and how it completely changes the character for me now!

It was a relaxing day, quiet and domestic.. I feel happy.

_____

FOXES SEEN - 3
SQUIRRELS SEEN - 0

TOTAL FOXES SEEN - 3
TOTAL SQUIRRELS SEEN - 0

#UK #Australia #dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy

| SUNDAY |

We woke up and played a little, then got up for breakfast and snuggled on the sofa with some TV. We watched an episode of Survivor SA, and ended up watching the first episode of a show called Years and Years. I'm super interested in seeing how it turns out.. the episodes are well written, the acting and direction is fabulous, and it's an intense and intriguing premise. It's densely written, and we had to take breaks because I kept losing focus.

We did a bit of cleaning to return the other-husband's flat and (after negative covid tests) we headed back to Greg's house.

On the way back we stopped at a toy shop so I could pick up a game of Keepy Uppey... we're going to have dinner with a couple that Greg and his wife are good friends with, who I've also met a few times and really enjoy their company. They have two small kids, and I'm picking up a few gifts for them.

It was lovely to catch up with his wife again. I've missed her. We try to keep touch throughout the year and have occasional calls, but we've both had a hectic year. I got to see their cats—including Alethia, who got diagnosed with a cancer last year and had her eye removed. She's perfectly healthy now, and wandering around the house like a tiny disgruntled pirate.

We ordered in some dinner as a treat, and introduced Greg's wife to The Pitt. We headed to bed, and I absolutely crashed!

_____
FOXES SEEN - 0
SQUIRRELS SEEN - 0

#UK #Australia #dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy

| SATURDAY |

We had a quiet day yesterday. We woke up early and played fairly intensely and then spent some time snuggling in bed and talking.

The plan had been to go to Nunhead Cemetery for a walk, but Greg's wife and her other-husband needed the car. So we popped out early in the morning to pick up some groceries and then Greg dropped them the car.

We spent the day curled up on the sofa and chatting. We watched some funny YouTube clips, and an episode of Monster—Ed Gein.

We had a dill pickle salad and a brat for dinner and then went to bed. I'm still getting over the flights, and Greg was exhausted after I woke him up at 5am to fuck 😆. He's out of practice dealing with my shenanigans!

SQUIRRELS - 0
FOXES - 0 (heard some though)
I have plans to buy some peanuts to gift the squirrels and crows..

#UK #Australia #dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy

| FRIDAY |

I'm here! In London!

I arrived on Friday evening, Greg picked me up from Gatwick and we drove back to his wife's other-husband's place. We're staying here until Sunday afternoon (today) to give us space to make sure I didn't pick up covid (I didn't) before going back to his.

I showered and we went to Costco to pick up some bits and pieces. I got a UK Costco hotdog, and it was interesting. They use beef dogs here, and instead of the chopped raw onion they use weird soft boiled onion that's incredibly unpleasant.. I'm not a fan. It feels weird to not enjoy a Costco hotdog!

We got home and went to bed (I had been falling asleep in the car). We played around a lot.. the plan was to not fuck on the first few days, and just get really intensely wound up together..

#UK #Australia #dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy

Journée tantra
Le samedi 25 avril 2026 de 9h30 à 19h📌 à la Bergerie, salle de Gym douce, 26 chemin de l'égalité, à Barcillonnette, pas si loin de Sisteron, de Veynes ou de Gap. https://osm.org/go/xXUPJo3xz?m=

💶 À prix libre et conscient (pour la location d
https://maour.eu/ateliers-tactiles/journee-tantra/

#bd #bandedessinee #comic #shortstory #illustration #drawing #dessin #art #digital #polyamour #polyamorous #polya #enm #nonmonogamy #amour #relation #education #chat #cats #genre

Last year Greg and I tried to take a trip to Edinburgh so we could see the Kandinskys at the gallery there.. however, when we arrived we found out that there was an exhibition on and the Kandinskys were in storage, so we didn't get to see them.

This year Greg has organised a week long road trip through Scotland and Wales, and I'm so excited!

We're going to Edinburgh, Aberdeen, Glasgow, the Lakes district, and Wales.

I'm going to get to see the Kandinskys in Edinburgh, the granite buildings in Aberdeen, the outside plumbing in Aberdeen that means you can't flush poop at night, more Kandinskys at Glasgow, the necropolis in Glasgow, Dark Skies in the Lakes district, and Hadrians Wall and Offa's Dyke, and hopefully say hello to the North Sea. I'm also more-excited-than-I-should-be about visiting Costcos along the way.

Also, it will mean being able to add 2 more countries to our blowjob tally.

The best part of it is that I keep getting emails forwarded to me from Greg, where he's been emailing to arrange something special for the trip (like a viewing of the archives at the gallery), and they're emailing back to say they'd be happy to help. Seeing people's kindness and helpfulness is amazing, also it's incredibly romantic to have someone just organise things like this.

I'm super looking forward to it all.

#UK #Australia #dating #relationship #LongDistance #LongDistanceRelationship #NonMonogamy #Scotland #Wales

Kink Communities: Beyond the Stereotypes

A Major UK Study Reveals Some Surprising Facts About Kink Communities

Media portrayals of niche sexual interests like BDSM, pet play, and furries often lean into sensationalism, painting participants as psychologically deviant or driven by singular, extreme fetishes. These stereotypes, while dramatic, rarely reflect the lived experiences of people within these communities. This leaves a significant gap between public perception of kink communities and reality. 

A recent scientific investigation, “A Survey of the United Kink-dom,” offers a rare, data-driven look into these worlds. Published in The Journal of Sex Research, this study surveyed 470 UK-based participants involved in five distinct interest groups:

• BDSM
• Age play
• Pet play
• Furries
• Balloon fetishists

The research provides one of the most comprehensive datasets to date on the demographics, psychology, and behaviors of these communities. 

This article distills the five most surprising and stereotype-busting findings from this rigorous research. By moving past the hype and focusing on the evidence, we can begin to build a more nuanced and accurate understanding of kink communities and their members.

1. Most People Are Into More Than One Thing

Contrary to the idea that people belong to distinct and separate fetish groups, the study found a very high degree of overlapping interests. The data shows that having a single, isolated interest is actually the exception, not the rule.

Only 19% of the 470 participants reported having just one of the five paraphilic interests investigated. The majority had two (37.8%) or three (31.5%). 

This finding is significant because it suggests these interests are not isolated quirks. They are often part of a broader exploration of non-normative identity and sexuality. The researchers identified specific patterns of co-occurrence.

For instance, there was a strong link between pet play and furry interests. This makes sense due to their shared themes of animal personification. Similarly, BDSM, which is defined by power dynamics, showed significant overlap with pet play. This is another of the groups in the study that centrally involve power exchange roles.

Check out the latest research on fetishes and criminality:

• Criminal Histories and Recidivism Rates for Juveniles Convicted of Child Pornography Possession

Read more articles about BDSM.

2. Kink Communities Deviate Sharply from Population Norms

When the researchers compared their sample to UK national statistics on sexual orientation and relationship styles, they found dramatic differences.

Across all five groups studied, participants reported significantly lower levels of heterosexual identity and much higher rates of gay/lesbian and bisexual identities than the general population.

For example, while 94.6% of the UK population identifies as heterosexual, the rate within the BDSM group was just 37.8%. 

The study also found substantially higher rates of non-monogamy compared to population estimates. A 2.4% rate from a representative Canadian sample was used as a benchmark in the absence of equivalent UK data.

This finding supports a growing body of research suggesting these communities often function as welcoming spaces for individuals whose identities and relationship models are marginalized elsewhere. The study’s authors summarize the scale of this difference concisely: 

Findings demonstrated groups differed significantly from population patterns of sexual orientation and relationship style, with effect sizes for these comparisons being large.

3. The “Psychopathic Dominant” is a Myth

A persistent and damaging stereotype suggests that individuals who enjoy dominant roles in BDSM must harbor “darker” personality traits. These traits inlcude:

• Narcissism
• Machiavellianism
• Psychopathy

This idea pathologizes practitioners by linking consensual power exchange with antisocial characteristics. 

The “United Kink-dom” study directly tested this hypothesis by measuring these “Dark Triad” traits across different BDSM role identities:

• Dominant
• Submissive
• Switch (individuals who enjoy both roles)

The results were definitive: there were no significant differences in Dark Triad traits based on BDSM role.

People who identified with dominant roles did not score higher on measures of Machiavellianism, narcissism, or psychopathy than those in submissive or switch roles. This finding provides strong empirical evidence that debunks a harmful myth and supports previous research showing that BDSM practitioners generally have mental health profiles comparable to the general population.

Are you a professional looking to stay up-to-date with the latest information on, sex addiction, trauma, and mental health news and research? Or maybe you’re looking for continuing education courses?

Stay up-to-date with all of Dr. Jen’s work through her practice’s newsletter!

4. The Study Found Little Support for the Most Damaging Stereotypes in Kink Communities

The study carefully and sensitively investigated the most stigmatizing stereotypes the links between

• Age play and pedophilia
• Pet play/furries and zoophilia

The researchers’ goal was to see if these consensual adult role-playing activities were being used as a substitute for harmful, non-consensual interests. 

The findings were more complex than a simple “myth-busted” headline would suggest.

For age play, the data showed that the vast majority of participants did not report any pedophilic arousal. However, a minority (14.1%) did report some level of arousal to pedophilic fantasy.

The researchers provide crucial context, noting that while their data “largely does not support stereotypes,” this rate of self-reported arousal is higher than the estimated prevalence of pedophilia in the general population (up to 5%). 

A similar pattern emerged for pet play and furries within Kink Communities.

While most participants in these groups expressed “repulsion” to the idea of sex with animals, a minority reported some arousal to zoophilic fantasy (23.6% of pet players and 28.9% of furries).

Again, the researchers note that these rates are higher than the general population estimate for zoophilia (up to 8%).

For the overwhelming majority, consensual adult role-play is distinct from harmful acts, but the data reveals a nuanced reality that defies simple caricature.

5. Kink Can Be a Non-Sexual Identity

A common assumption is that participation in kink communities is always and exclusively about sexual gratification. However, the study’s data challenges this idea, revealing that for many, these interests are a multifaceted part of their identity that isn’t always tied to sex. 

A significant minority of participants, particularly among pet players and furries, reported that they did not pair their interests with sexual acts.

Across the groups, “10–35% reported never pairing this with sex,” with furries (35.1%) and pet players (26.7%) being the most likely to engage non-sexually. Furthermore, when asked how much they viewed their interest as part of their “sexual orientation,” the study found a “bimodal distribution.”

This means participants tended to answer at the extremes: many saw it as absolutely central to their sexual identity, while many others saw it as not at all important. 

This highlights that for a substantial portion of these communities, the appeal is not primarily sexual. Instead, it lies in social connection, psychological expression, and creative world-building – crystallized in practices like developing a detailed “fursona,” or animal character, which can be entirely separate from sexual gratification.

A More Complex Picture of Kink Communities

The “A Survey of the United Kink-dom” study provides a powerful, evidence-based counter-narrative to the prevailing stereotypes about kink communities.

The findings paint a picture of a world that is far more diverse, psychologically comparable to the general population, and less pathological than often portrayed.

It reveals communities that are highly interconnected, disproportionately queer and non-monogamous, and driven by a wide range of motivations that often extend well beyond sex. 

This research underscores that the lived reality of people with non-normative sexual interests is more complex and far more human than caricature allows. As data replaces caricature, the central question is no longer if these communities are pathological, but how their complex networks of identity, creativity, and non-normative relationships challenge our broader cultural definitions of sexuality itself.

Be Part of the Kink Community Conversation

Do you participate in a kink community? How do you view kink communities? Drop a comment below and tell me about your non-explicit experiences!

For an in-depth guide on talking to your adolescents about cybersex and pornography, check out Dr. Jen’s book. Amazon | BookBaby

Have you found yourself in legal trouble due to your sexual behavior? Seek assistance before the court mandates it, with Sexual Addiction Treatment Services.

Are you looking for more reputable data-backed information on sexual addiction? The Mitigation Aide Research Archive is an excellent source for executive summaries of research studies.

Danse tendresse
Vendredi 13 mars de 18h30 à 22h30 📌 à Clelles, dans le Trièves, pas si loin de Grenoble, de Die ou de Gap.

💶 À prix libre (pour la location de la salle, et ce que tu trouveras juste pour l'animation).💫 Pour tout le monde quelle que soit to
https://maour.eu/ateliers-tactiles/danse-tendresse/

#bd #bandedessinee #comic #shortstory #illustration #drawing #dessin #art #digital #polyamour #polyamorous #polya #enm #nonmonogamy #amour #relation #education #chat #cats #genre

Corps et émotion
Le mercredi 14 janvier 2025 de 17h à 19h, pendant les portes ouvertes de l'Espace Êm📌 à l'espace Êm, 1b place du Champsaur, à Gap (entre Intermarché et la gare https://goo.gl/maps/FX4Fv3tmggDANQXy9).

💶 Gratuit3️⃣ Animé en trio avec Sara
https://maour.eu/ateliers-tactiles/corps-et-emotion/

#bd #bandedessinee #comic #shortstory #illustration #drawing #dessin #art #digital #polyamour #polyamorous #polya #enm #nonmonogamy #amour #relation #education #chat #cats #genre

OPEN (Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy) is selling T-shirts for fundraising.

https://www.bonfire.com/normalize-non-monogamy/

#OpenLove #OpenLoveOrg #ENM #NonMonogamy #Polyamory

Today at 4pm PST join me and author Eve Rickert as we discuss the second edition of her nonmonogamy book “More Than Two”! We’ll be on Facebook Live - join us here https://facebook.com/events/s/eve-rickert-in-conversation-wi/1421177869112150/ #nonmonogamy #books #authorevent

Salle des Petits Ruisseaux
87 Rue Guillaume Apollinaire 05200 Baratier, juste à côté de la boulangerie BaratiPain

L’association Prana Yoga occupe la salle des Petits Ruisseaux à Baratier.

Le bâtiment a été rénové avec des matériaux respectueux de l
https://maour.eu/event-venue/salle-des-petits-ruisseaux/

#bd #bandedessinee #comic #shortstory #illustration #drawing #dessin #art #digital #polyamour #polyamorous #polya #enm #nonmonogamy #amour #relation #education #chat #cats #genre

One of our mods found in their dissertation that there was a positive correlation between being kinky and partaking in non-monogamy.

But numbers aren't everything, so we'd love to know!: Has being kinky affected whether you do relationships in a monogamous/non-monogamous way?

#NonMonogamy #Kink #Polyamory