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1000 results for “tiny_bus_stop”

1. 

   Gabbo the wafrn dev guy @[email protected] · 2023-10-17 · 11:26 UTC

   ok here we go

   #Scripts.com Bee-Movie By-Jerry-Seinfeld NARRATOR: (Black-screen-with-text;-The-sound-of-buzzing-bees-can-be-heard) According-to-all-known-laws of-aviation #: there-is-no-way-a-bee should-be-able-to-fly. -: Its-wings-are-too-small-to-get its-fat-little-body-off-the-ground. -: The-bee #of-course #flies-anyway -: because-bees-don't-care what-humans-think-is-impossible. BARRY-BENSON: (Barry-is-picking-out-a-shirt) Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. -: Ooh #black-and-yellow! Let's-shake-it-up-a-little. JANET-BENSON: Barry!-Breakfast-is-ready! BARRY: Coming! -: Hang-on-a-second. (Barry-uses-his-antenna-like-a-phone) -: Hello? ADAM-FLAYMAN: (Through-phone) --Barry? BARRY: --Adam? ADAM: --Can-you-believe-this-is-happening? BARRY: --I-can't.-I'll-pick-you-up. (Barry-flies-down-the-stairs) -: MARTIN-BENSON: Looking-sharp. JANET: Use-the-stairs.-Your-father paid-good-money-for-those. BARRY: Sorry.-I'm-excited. MARTIN: Here's-the-graduate. We're-very-proud-of-you #son. -: A-perfect-report-card #all-B's. JANET: Very-proud. (Rubs-Barry's-hair) BARRY= Ma!-I-got-a-thing-going-here. JANET: --You-got-lint-on-your-fuzz. BARRY: --Ow!-That's-me! JANET: --Wave-to-us!-We'll-be-in-row-118 #000. --Bye! (Barry-flies-out-the-door) JANET: Barry #I-told-you #stop-flying-in-the-house! (Barry-drives-through-the-hive #and-is-waved-at-by-Adam-who-is-reading-a newspaper) BARRY== --Hey #Adam. ADAM: --Hey #Barry. (Adam-gets-in-Barry's-car) -: --Is-that-fuzz-gel? BARRY: --A-little.-Special-day #graduation. ADAM: Never-thought-I'd-make-it. (Barry-pulls-away-from-the-house-and-continues-driving) BARRY: Three-days-grade-school #three-days-high-school... ADAM: Those-were-awkward. BARRY: Three-days-college.-I'm-glad-I-took a-day-and-hitchhiked-around-the-hive. ADAM== You-did-come-back-different. (Barry-and-Adam-pass-by-Artie #who-is-jogging) ARTIE: --Hi #Barry! BARRY: --Artie #growing-a-mustache?-Looks-good. ADAM: --Hear-about-Frankie? BARRY: --Yeah. ADAM== --You-going-to-the-funeral? BARRY: --No #I'm-not-going-to-his-funeral. -: Everybody-knows #sting-someone #you-die. -: Don't-waste-it-on-a-squirrel. Such-a-hothead. ADAM: I-guess-he-could-have just-gotten-out-of-the-way. (The-car-does-a-barrel-roll-on-the-loop-shaped-bridge-and-lands-on-the highway) -: I-love-this-incorporating an-amusement-park-into-our-regular-day. BARRY: I-guess-that's-why-they-say-we-don't-need-vacations. (Barry-parallel-parks-the-car-and-together-they-fly-over-the-graduating students) Boy #quite-a-bit-of-pomp... under-the-circumstances. (Barry-and-Adam-sit-down-and-put-on-their-hats) -: --Well #Adam #today-we-are-men. ADAM: --We-are! BARRY= --Bee-men. =ADAM= --Amen! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry-and-Adam-both-have-a-happy-spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students #faculty #distinguished-bees #: please-welcome-Dean-Buzzwell. DEAN-BUZZWELL: Welcome #New-Hive-Oity graduating-class-of... -: ...9: -: That-concludes-our-ceremonies. -: And-begins-your-career at-Honex-Industries! ADAM: Will-we-pick-our-job-today? (Adam-and-Barry-get-into-a-tour-bus) BARRY= I-heard-it's-just-orientation. (Tour-buses-rise-out-of-the-ground-and-the-students-are-automatically loaded-into-the-buses) TOUR-GUIDE: Heads-up!-Here-we-go. ANNOUNCER: Keep-your-hands-and-antennas inside-the-tram-at-all-times. BARRY: --Wonder-what-it'll-be-like? ADAM: --A-little-scary. TOUR-GUIDE== Welcome-to-Honex #a-division-of-Honesco -: and-a-part-of-the-Hexagon-Group. Barry: This-is-it! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The-bus-drives-down-a-road-an-on-either-side-are-the-Bee's-massive complicated-Honey-making-machines) TOUR-GUIDE: We-know-that-you #as-a-bee #have-worked-your-whole-life -: to-get-to-the-point-where-you can-work-for-your-whole-life. -: Honey-begins-when-our-valiant-Pollen Jocks-bring-the-nectar-to-the-hive. -: Our-top-secret-formula -: is-automatically-color-corrected #scent-adjusted-and-bubble-contoured -: into-this-soothing-sweet-syrup -: with-its-distinctive golden-glow-you-know-as... EVERYONE-ON-BUS: Honey! (The-guide-has-been-collecting-honey-into-a-bottle-and-she-throws-it-into the-crowd-on-the-bus-and-it-is-caught-by-a-girl-in-the-back) ADAM: --That-girl-was-hot. BARRY: --She's-my-cousin! ADAM== --She-is? BARRY: --Yes #we're-all-cousins. ADAM: --Right.-You're-right. TOUR-GUIDE: --At-Honex #we-constantly-strive -: to-improve-every-aspect of-bee-existence. -: These-bees-are-stress-testing a-new-helmet-technology. (The-bus-passes-by-a-Bee-wearing-a-helmet-who-is-being-smashed-into-the ground-with-fly-swatters #newspapers-and-boots.-He-lifts-a-thumbs-up-but you-can-hear-him-groan) -: ADAM== --What-do-you-think-he-makes? BARRY: --Not-enough. TOUR-GUIDE: Here-we-have-our-latest-advancement #the-Krelman. (They-pass-by-a-turning-wheel-with-Bees-standing-on-pegs #who-are-each wearing-a-finger-shaped-hat) Barry: --Wow #What-does-that-do? TOUR-GUIDE: --Catches-that-little-strand-of-honey -: that-hangs-after-you-pour-it. Saves-us-millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can-anyone-work-on-the-Krelman? TOUR-GUIDE: Of-course.-Most-bee-jobs-are small-ones. But-bees-know-that-every-small-job #if-it's-done-well #means-a-lot. -: But-choose-carefully -: because-you'll-stay-in-the-job you-pick-for-the-rest-of-your-life. (Everyone-claps-except-for-Barry) BARRY: The-same-job-the-rest-of-your-life? I-didn't-know-that. ADAM: What's-the-difference? TOUR-GUIDE: You'll-be-happy-to-know-that-bees #as-a-species #haven't-had-one-day-off -: in-27-million-years. BARRY: (Upset) So-you'll-just-work-us-to-death? -: We'll-sure-try. (Everyone-on-the-bus-laughs-except-Barry.-Barry-and-Adam-are-walking-back home-together) ADAM: Wow!-That-blew-my-mind! BARRY: 'What's-the-difference?' How-can-you-say-that? -: One-job-forever? That's-an-insane-choice-to-have-to-make. ADAM: I'm-relieved.-Now-we-only-have to-make-one-decision-in-life. BARRY: But #Adam #how-could-they never-have-told-us-that? ADAM: Why-would-you-question-anything? We're-bees. -: We're-the-most-perfectly functioning-society-on-Earth. BARRY: You-ever-think-maybe-things work-a-little-too-well-here? ADAM: Like-what?-Give-me-one-example. (Barry-and-Adam-stop-walking-and-it-is-revealed-to-the-audience-that hundreds-of-cars-are-speeding-by-and-narrowly-missing-them-in-perfect unison) BARRY: I-don't-know.-But-you-know what-I'm-talking-about. ANNOUNCER: Please-clear-the-gate. Royal-Nectar-Force-on-approach. BARRY: Wait-a-second.-Check-it-out. (The-Pollen-jocks-fly-in #circle-around-and-landing-in-line) -: --Hey #those-are-Pollen-Jocks! ADAM: --Wow. -: I've-never-seen-them-this-close. BARRY: They-know-what-it's-like outside-the-hive. ADAM: Yeah #but-some-don't-come-back. GIRL-BEES: --Hey #Jocks! --Hi #Jocks! (The-Pollen-Jocks-hook-up-their-backpacks-to-machines-that-pump-the-nectar to-trucks #which-drive-away) LOU-LO-DUVA: You-guys-did-great! -: You're-monsters! You're-sky-freaks! I-love-it! (Punching-the-Pollen-Jocks-in-joy) I-love-it! ADAM: --I-wonder-where-they-were. BARRY: --I-don't-know. -: Their-day's-not-planned. -: Outside-the-hive #flying-who-knows where #doing-who-knows-what. -: You-can't-just-decide-to-be-a-Pollen Jock.-You-have-to-be-bred-for-that. ADAM== Right. (Barry-and-Adam-are-covered-in-some-pollen-that-floated-off-of-the-Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look-at-that.-That's-more-pollen than-you-and-I-will-see-in-a-lifetime. ADAM: It's-just-a-status-symbol. Bees-make-too-much-of-it. BARRY: Perhaps.-Unless-you're-wearing-it and-the-ladies-see-you-wearing-it. (Barry-waves-at-2-girls-standing-a-little-away-from-them) ADAM== Those-ladies? Aren't-they-our-cousins-too? BARRY: Distant.-Distant. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Look-at-these-two. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Couple-of-Hive-Harrys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --Let's-have-fun-with-them. GIRL-BEE-#1: It-must-be-dangerous being-a-Pollen-Jock. BARRY: Yeah.-Once-a-bear-pinned-me against-a-mushroom! -: He-had-a-paw-on-my-throat #and-with-the-other #he-was-slapping-me! (Slaps-Adam-with-his-hand-to-represent-his-scenario) GIRL-BEE-#2: --Oh #my! BARRY: --I-never-thought-I'd-knock-him-out. GIRL-BEE-#1: (Looking-at-Adam) What-were-you-doing-during-this? ADAM: Obviously-I-was-trying-to-alert-the-authorities. BARRY: I-can-autograph-that. (The-pollen-jocks-walk-up-to-Barry-and-Adam #they-pretend-that-Barry-and Adam-really-are-pollen-jocks.) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: A-little-gusty-out-there-today #wasn't-it #comrades? BARRY: Yeah.-Gusty. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-hitting-a-sunflower-patch six-miles-from-here-tomorrow. BARRY: --Six-miles #huh? ADAM: --Barry! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: A-puddle-jump-for-us #but-maybe-you're-not-up-for-it. BARRY: --Maybe-I-am. ADAM: --You-are-not! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-going-0900-at-J-Gate. -: What-do-you-think #buzzy-boy? Are-you-bee-enough? BARRY: I-might-be.-It-all-depends on-what-0900-means. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-looking-out-on-the-hive-city-from-his-balcony-at night) MARTIN: Hey #Honex! BARRY: Dad #you-surprised-me. MARTIN: You-decide-what-you're-interested-in? BARRY: --Well #there's-a-lot-of-choices. --But-you-only-get-one. -: Do-you-ever-get-bored doing-the-same-job-every-day? MARTIN: Son #let-me-tell-you-about-stirring. -: You-grab-that-stick #and-you-just move-it-around #and-you-stir-it-around. -: You-get-yourself-into-a-rhythm. It's-a-beautiful-thing. BARRY: You-know #Dad #the-more-I-think-about-it #: maybe-the-honey-field just-isn't-right-for-me. MARTIN: You-were-thinking-of-what #making-balloon-animals? -: That's-a-bad-job for-a-guy-with-a-stinger. -: Janet #your-son's-not-sure he-wants-to-go-into-honey! JANET: --Barry #you-are-so-funny-sometimes. BARRY: --I'm-not-trying-to-be-funny. MARTIN: You're-not-funny!-You're-going into-honey.-Our-son #the-stirrer! JANET: --You're-gonna-be-a-stirrer? BARRY: --No-one's-listening-to-me! MARTIN: Wait-till-you-see-the-sticks-I-have. BARRY: I-could-say-anything-right-now. I'm-gonna-get-an-ant-tattoo! (Barry's-parents-don't-listen-to-him-and-continue-to-ramble-on) MARTIN: Let's-open-some-honey-and-celebrate! BARRY: Maybe-I'll-pierce-my-thorax. Shave-my-antennae. -: Shack-up-with-a-grasshopper.-Get a-gold-tooth-and-call-everybody-'dawg'! JANET: I'm-so-proud. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-and-Adam-waiting-in-line-to-get-a-job) ADAM: --We're-starting-work-today! BARRY: --Today's-the-day. ADAM: Come-on!-All-the-good-jobs will-be-gone. BARRY: Yeah #right. JOB-LISTER: Pollen-counting #stunt-bee #pouring #stirrer #front-desk #hair-removal... BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Is-it-still-available? JOB-LISTER: --Hang-on.-Two-left! -: One-of-them's-yours!-Congratulations! Step-to-the-side. ADAM: --What'd-you-get? BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Picking-crud-out.-Stellar! (He-walks-away) ADAM: Wow! JOB-LISTER: Couple-of-newbies? ADAM: Yes #sir!-Our-first-day!-We-are-ready! JOB-LISTER: Make-your-choice. (Adam-and-Barry-look-up-at-the-job-board.-There-are-hundreds-of-constantly changing-panels-that-contain-available-or-unavailable-jobs.-It-looks-very confusing) ADAM: --You-want-to-go-first? BARRY: --No #you-go. ADAM: Oh #my.-What's-available? JOB-LISTER: Restroom-attendant's-open #not-for-the-reason-you-think. ADAM: --Any-chance-of-getting-the-Krelman? JOB-LISTER: --Sure #you're-on. (Puts-the-Krelman-finger-hat-on-Adam's-head) (Suddenly-the-sign-for-Krelman-closes-out) -: I'm-sorry #the-Krelman-just-closed-out. (Takes-Adam's-hat-off) Wax-monkey's-always-open. ADAM: The-Krelman-opened-up-again. -: What-happened? JOB-LISTER: A-bee-died.-Makes-an-opening.-See? He's-dead.-Another-dead-one. -: Deady.-Deadified.-Two-more-dead. -: Dead-from-the-neck-up. Dead-from-the-neck-down.-That's-life! ADAM: Oh #this-is-so-hard! (Barry-remembers-what-the-Pollen-Jock-offered-him-and-he-flies-off) Heating #cooling #stunt-bee #pourer #stirrer #: humming #inspector-number-seven #lint-coordinator #stripe-supervisor #: mite-wrangler.-Barry #what do-you-think-I-should...-Barry? (Adam-turns-around-and-sees-Barry-flying-away) -: Barry! POLLEN-JOCK: All-right #we've-got-the-sunflower-patch in-quadrant-nine... ADAM: (Through-phone) What-happened-to-you? Where-are-you? BARRY: --I'm-going-out. ADAM: --Out?-Out-where? BARRY: --Out-there. ADAM: --Oh #no! BARRY: I-have-to #before-I-go to-work-for-the-rest-of-my-life. ADAM: You're-gonna-die!-You're-crazy! (Barry-hangs-up) Hello? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Another-call-coming-in. -: If-anyone's-feeling-brave #there's-a-Korean-deli-on-83rd -: that-gets-their-roses-today. BARRY: Hey #guys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1-== --Look-at-that. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Isn't-that-the-kid-we-saw-yesterday? LOU-LO-DUVA: Hold-it #son #flight-deck's-restricted. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: It's-OK #Lou.-We're-gonna-take-him-up. (Puts-hand-on-Barry's-shoulder) LOU-LO-DUVA: (To-Barry)-Really?-Feeling-lucky #are-you? BEE-WITH-CLIPBOARD: (To-Barry)-Sign-here #here.-Just-initial-that. -: --Thank-you. LOU-LO-DUVA: --OK. -: You-got-a-rain-advisory-today #: and-as-you-all-know #bees-cannot-fly-in-rain. -: So-be-careful.-As-always #watch-your-brooms #: hockey-sticks #dogs #birds #bears-and-bats. -: Also #I-got-a-couple-of-reports of-root-beer-being-poured-on-us. -: Murphy's-in-a-home-because-of-it #babbling-like-a-cicada! BARRY: --That's-awful. LOU-LO-DUVA: (Still-talking-through-megaphone) --And-a-reminder-for-you-rookies #: bee-law-number-one #absolutely-no-talking-to-humans! -: All-right #launch-positions! POLLEN-JOCKS: (The-Pollen-Jocks-run-into-formation) -: Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz! LOU-LU-DUVA: Black-and-yellow! POLLEN-JOCKS: Hello! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (To-Barry)You-ready-for-this #hot-shot? BARRY: Yeah.-Yeah #bring-it-on. POLLEN-JOCK's: Wind #check. -: --Antennae #check. --Nectar-pack #check. -: --Wings #check. --Stinger #check. BARRY: Scared-out-of-my-shorts #check. LOU-LO-DUVA: OK #ladies #: let's-move-it-out! -: Pound-those-petunias #you-striped-stem-suckers! -: All-of-you #drain-those-flowers! (The-pollen-jocks-fly-out-of-the-hive) BARRY: Wow!-I'm-out! -: I-can't-believe-I'm-out! -: So-blue. -: I-feel-so-fast-and-free! -: Box-kite! (Barry-flies-through-the-kite) -: Wow! -: Flowers! (A-pollen-jock-puts-on-some-high-tech-goggles-that-shows-flowers-similar-to heat-sink-goggles.) POLLEN-JOCK: This-is-Blue-Leader. We-have-roses-visual. -: Bring-it-around-30-degrees-and-hold. -: Roses! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: 30-degrees #roger.-Bringing-it-around. -: Stand-to-the-side #kid. It's-got-a-bit-of-a-kick. (The-pollen-jock-fires-a-high-tech-gun-at-the-flower #shooting-tubes-that suck-up-the-nectar-from-the-flower-and-collects-it-into-a-pouch-on-the-gun) BARRY: That-is-one-nectar-collector! POLLEN-JOCK-#1== --Ever-see-pollination-up-close? BARRY: --No #sir. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Barry-and-the-Pollen-jock-fly-over-the-field #the-pollen-jock-sprinkles pollen-as-he-goes) -: I-pick-up-some-pollen-here #sprinkle-it over-here.-Maybe-a-dash-over-there #: a-pinch-on-that-one. See-that?-It's-a-little-bit-of-magic. BARRY: That's-amazing.-Why-do-we-do-that? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: That's-pollen-power.-More-pollen #more flowers #more-nectar #more-honey-for-us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: I'm-picking-up-a-lot-of-bright-yellow. could-be-daisies.-Don't-we-need-those? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Copy-that-visual. -: Wait.-One-of-these-flowers seems-to-be-on-the-move. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Say-again?-You're-reporting a-moving-flower? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Affirmative. (The-Pollen-jocks-land-near-the-'flowers'-which #to-the-audience-are obviously-just-tennis-balls) KEN: (In-the-distance)-That-was-on-the-line! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: This-is-the-coolest.-What-is-it? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-know #but-I'm-loving-this-color. -: It-smells-good. Not-like-a-flower #but-I-like-it. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Yeah #fuzzy. (Sticks-his-hand-on-the-ball-but-it-gets-stuck) POLLEN-JOCK-#3== Chemical-y. (The-pollen-jock-finally-gets-his-hand-free-from-the-tennis-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Careful #guys.-It's-a-little-grabby. (The-pollen-jocks-turn-around-and-see-Barry-lying-his-entire-body-on-top-of one-of-the-tennis-balls) POLLEN-JOCK-#2: My-sweet-lord-of-bees! POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Candy-brain #get-off-there! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Pointing-upwards) Problem! (A-human-hand-reaches-down-and-grabs-the-tennis-ball-that-Barry-is-stuck to) BARRY: --Guys! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --This-could-be-bad. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Affirmative. (Vanessa-Bloome-starts-bouncing-the-tennis-ball #not-knowing-Barry-is-stick to-it) BARRY== Very-close. -: Gonna-hurt. -: Mama's-little-boy. (Barry-is-being-hit-back-and-forth-by-two-humans-playing-tennis.-He-is still-stuck-to-the-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: You-are-way-out-of-position #rookie! KEN: Coming-in-at-you-like-a-MISSILE! (Barry-flies-past-the-pollen-jocks #still-stuck-to-the-ball) BARRY: (In-slow-motion) Help-me! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-think-these-are-flowers. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: --Should-we-tell-him? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --I-think-he-knows. BARRY: What-is-this?! KEN: Match-point! -: You-can-start-packing-up #honey #because-you're-about-to-EAT-IT! (A-pollen-jock-coughs-which-confused-Ken-and-he-hits-the-ball-the-wrong-way with-Barry-stuck-to-it-and-it-goes-flying-into-the-city) BARRY: Yowser! (Barry-bounces-around-town-and-gets-stuck-in-the-engine-of-a-car.-He-flies into-the-air-conditioner-and-sees-a-bug-that-was-frozen-in-there) BARRY: Ew #gross. (The-man-driving-the-car-turns-on-the-air-conditioner-which-blows-Barry into-the-car) GIRL-IN-CAR: There's-a-bee-in-the-car! -: --Do-something! DAD-DRIVING-CAR: --I'm-driving! BABY-GIRL: (Waving-at-Barry) --Hi #bee. (Barry-smiles-and-waves-at-the-baby-girl) GUY-IN-BACK-OF-CAR: --He's-back-here! -: He's-going-to-sting-me! GIRL-IN-CAR: Nobody-move.-If-you-don't-move #he-won't-sting-you.-Freeze! (Barry-freezes-as-well #hovering-in-the-middle-of-the-car) -: GRANDMA-IN-CAR== He-blinked! (The-grandma-whips-out-some-bee-spray-and-sprays-everywhere-in-the-car #climbing-into-the-front-seat #still-trying-to-spray-Barry) GIRL-IN-CAR: Spray-him #Granny! DAD-DRIVING-THE-CAR: What-are-you-doing?! (Barry-escapes-the-car-through-the-air-conditioner-and-is-flying-high-above the-ground #safe.) BARRY: Wow...-the-tension-level out-here-is-unbelievable. (Barry-sees-that-storm-clouds-are-gathering-and-he-can-see-rain-clouds moving-into-this-direction) -: I-gotta-get-home. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-rain-drop-hits-Barry-and-one-of-his-wings-is-damaged) -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-second-rain-drop-hits-Barry-again-and-he-spirals-downwards) Mayday!-Mayday!-Bee-going-down! (WW2-plane-sound-effects-are-played-as-he-plummets #and-he-crash-lands-on-a plant-inside-an-apartment-near-the-window) VANESSA-BLOOME: Ken #could-you-close the-window-please? KEN== Hey #check-out-my-new-resume. I-made-it-into-a-fold-out-brochure. -: You-see? (Folds-brochure-resume-out) Folds-out. (Ken-closes-the-window #trapping-Barry-inside) BARRY: Oh #no.-More-humans.-I-don't-need-this. (Barry-tries-to-fly-away-but-smashes-into-the-window-and-falls-again) -: What-was-that? (Barry-keeps-trying-to-fly-out-the-window-but-he-keeps-being-knocked-back because-the-window-is-closed) Maybe-this-time.-This-time.-This-time. This-time!-This-time!-This... -: Drapes! (Barry-taps-the-glass.-He-doesn't-understand-what-it-is) That-is-diabolical. KEN: It's-fantastic.-It's-got-all-my-special skills #even-my-top-ten-favorite-movies. ANDY: What's-number-one?-Star-Wars? KEN: Nah #I-don't-go-for-that... (Ken-makes-finger-guns-and-makes-'pew-pew-pew'-sounds-and-then-stops) -: ...kind-of-stuff. BARRY: No-wonder-we-shouldn't-talk-to-them. They're-out-of-their-minds. KEN: When-I-leave-a-job-interview #they're flabbergasted #can't-believe-what-I-say. BARRY: (Looking-at-the-light-on-the-ceiling) There's-the-sun.-Maybe-that's-a-way-out. (Starts-flying-towards-the-lightbulb) -: I-don't-remember-the-sun having-a-big-75-on-it. (Barry-hits-the-lightbulb-and-falls-into-the-dip-on-the-table-that-the humans-are-sitting-at) KEN: I-predicted-global-warming. -: I-could-feel-it-getting-hotter. At-first-I-thought-it-was-just-me. (Andy-dips-a-chip-into-the-bowl-and-scoops-up-some-dip-with-Barry-on-it-and is-about-to-put-it-in-his-mouth) -: Wait!-Stop!-Bee! (Andy-drops-the-chip-with-Barry-in-fear-and-backs-away.-All-the-humans freak-out) -: Stand-back.-These-are-winter-boots. (Ken-has-winter-boots-on-his-hands-and-he-is-about-to-smash-the-bee-but Vanessa-saves-him-last-second) VANESSA: Wait! -: Don't-kill-him! (Vanessa-puts-Barry-in-a-glass-to-protect-him) KEN: You-know-I'm-allergic-to-them! This-thing-could-kill-me! VANESSA: Why-does-his-life-have less-value-than-yours? KEN: Why-does-his-life-have-any-less-value than-mine?-Is-that-your-statement? VANESSA: I'm-just-saying-all-life-has-value.-You don't-know-what-he's-capable-of-feeling. (Vanessa-picks-up-Ken's-brochure-and-puts-it-under-the-glass-so-she-can carry-Barry-back-to-the-window.-Barry-looks-at-Vanessa-in-amazement) KEN: My-brochure! VANESSA: There-you-go #little-guy. (Vanessa-opens-the-window-and-lets-Barry-out-but-Barry-stays-back-and-is still-shocked-that-a-human-saved-his-life) KEN: I'm-not-scared-of-him. It's-an-allergic-thing. VANESSA: Put-that-on-your-resume-brochure. KEN: My-whole-face-could-puff-up. ANDY: Make-it-one-of-your-special-skills. KEN: Knocking-someone-out is-also-a-special-skill. (Ken-walks-to-the-door) Right.-Bye #Vanessa.-Thanks. -: --Vanessa #next-week?-Yogurt-night? VANESSA: --Sure #Ken.-You-know #whatever. -: (Vanessa-tries-to-close-door) KEN== --You-could-put-carob-chips-on-there. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door-but-Ken-opens-it-again) KEN: --Supposed-to-be-less-calories. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door) (Fast-forward-to-the-next-day #Barry-is-still-inside-the-house.-He-flies into-the-kitchen-where-Vanessa-is-doing-dishes) BARRY== (Talking-to-himself) I-gotta-say-something. -: She-saved-my-life. I-gotta-say-something. -: All-right #here-it-goes. (Turns-back) Nah. -: What-would-I-say? -: I-could-really-get-in-trouble. -: It's-a-bee-law. You're-not-supposed-to-talk-to-a-human. -: I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this. -: I've-got-to. (Barry-disguises-himself-as-a-character-on-a-food-can-as-Vanessa-walks-by again) -: Oh #I-can't-do-it.-Come-on! -: No.-Yes.-No. -: Do-it.-I-can't. -: How-should-I-start-it? (Barry-strikes-a-pose-and-wiggles-his-eyebrows) 'You-like-jazz?' No #that's-no-good. (Vanessa-is-about-to-walk-past-Barry) Here-she-comes!-Speak #you-fool! -: ...Hi! (Vanessa-gasps-and-drops-the-dishes-in-fright-and-notices-Barry-on-the counter) -: I'm-sorry. VANESSA: --You're-talking. BARRY: --Yes #I-know. VANESSA: (Pointing-at-Barry) You're-talking! BARRY: I'm-so-sorry. VANESSA: No #it's-OK.-It's-fine. I-know-I'm-dreaming. -: But-I-don't-recall-going-to-bed. BARRY: Well #I'm-sure-this is-very-disconcerting. VANESSA: This-is-a-bit-of-a-surprise-to-me. I-mean #you're-a-bee! BARRY: I-am.-And-I'm-not-supposed to-be-doing-this #(Pointing-to-the-living-room-where-Ken-tried-to-kill-him-last-night) but-they-were-all-trying-to-kill-me. -: And-if-it-wasn't-for-you... -: I-had-to-thank-you. It's-just-how-I-was-raised. (Vanessa-stabs-her-hand-with-a-fork-to-test-whether-she's-dreaming-or-not) -: That-was-a-little-weird. VANESSA: --I'm-talking-with-a-bee. BARRY: --Yeah. VANESSA: I'm-talking-to-a-bee. And-the-bee-is-talking-to-me! BARRY: I-just-want-to-say-I'm-grateful. I'll-leave-now. (Barry-turns-to-leave) VANESSA: --Wait!-How-did-you-learn-to-do-that? BARRY: (Flying-back) --What? VANESSA: The-talking...thing. BARRY: Same-way-you-did #I-guess. 'Mama #Dada #honey.'-You-pick-it-up. VANESSA: --That's-very-funny. BARRY: --Yeah. -: Bees-are-funny.-If-we-didn't-laugh #we'd-cry-with-what-we-have-to-deal-with. -: Anyway... VANESSA: Can-I... -: ...get-you-something? BARRY: --Like-what? VANESSA: I-don't-know.-I-mean... I-don't-know.-Coffee? BARRY: I-don't-want-to-put-you-out. VANESSA: It's-no-trouble.-It-takes-two-minutes. -: --It's-just-coffee. BARRY: --I-hate-to-impose. (Vanessa-starts-making-coffee) VANESSA: --Don't-be-ridiculous! BARRY: --Actually #I-would-love-a-cup. VANESSA: Hey #you-want-rum-cake? BARRY: --I-shouldn't. VANESSA: --Have-some. BARRY: --No #I-can't. VANESSA: --Come-on! BARRY: I'm-trying-to-lose-a-couple-micrograms. VANESSA: --Where? BARRY: --These-stripes-don't-help. VANESSA: You-look-great! BARRY: I-don't-know-if-you-know anything-about-fashion. -: Are-you-all-right? VANESSA: (Pouring-coffee-on-the-floor-and-missing-the-cup-completely) No. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-sitting-together-at-a-table on-top-of-the-apartment-building-drinking-coffee) -: BARRY== He's-making-the-tie-in-the-cab as-they're-flying-up-Madison. -: He-finally-gets-there. -: He-runs-up-the-steps-into-the-church. The-wedding-is-on. -: And-he-says #'Watermelon? I-thought-you-said-Guatemalan. -: Why-would-I-marry-a-watermelon?' (Barry-laughs-but-Vanessa-looks-confused) VANESSA: Is-that-a-bee-joke? BARRY: That's-the-kind-of-stuff-we-do. VANESSA: Yeah #different. -: So #what-are-you-gonna-do #Barry? (Barry-stands-on-top-of-a-sugar-cube-floating-in-his-coffee-and-paddles-it around-with-a-straw-like-it's-a-gondola) BARRY: About-work?-I-don't-know. -: I-want-to-do-my-part-for-the-hive #but-I-can't-do-it-the-way-they-want. VANESSA: I-know-how-you-feel. BARRY: --You-do? VANESSA: --Sure. -: My-parents-wanted-me-to-be-a-lawyer-or a-doctor #but-I-wanted-to-be-a-florist. BARRY: --Really? VANESSA: --My-only-interest-is-flowers. BARRY: Our-new-queen-was-just-elected with-that-same-campaign-slogan. -: Anyway #if-you-look... (Barry-points-to-a-tree-in-the-middle-of-Central-Park) -: There's-my-hive-right-there.-See-it? VANESSA: You're-in-Sheep-Meadow! BARRY: Yes!-I'm-right-off-the-Turtle-Pond! VANESSA: No-way!-I-know-that-area. I-lost-a-toe-ring-there-once. BARRY: --Why-do-girls-put-rings-on-their-toes? VANESSA: --Why-not? BARRY: --It's-like-putting-a-hat-on-your-knee. VANESSA: --Maybe-I'll-try-that. (A-custodian-installing-a-lightbulb-looks-over-at-them-but-to-his perspective-it-looks-like-Vanessa-is-talking-to-a-cup-of-coffee-on-the table) CUSTODIAN: --You-all-right #ma'am? VANESSA: --Oh #yeah.-Fine. -: Just-having-two-cups-of-coffee! BARRY: Anyway #this-has-been-great. Thanks-for-the-coffee. VANESSA== Yeah #it's-no-trouble. BARRY: Sorry-I-couldn't-finish-it.-If-I-did #I'd-be-up-the-rest-of-my-life. (Barry-points-towards-the-rum-cake) -: Can-I-take-a-piece-of-this-with-me? VANESSA: Sure!-Here #have-a-crumb. (Vanessa-hands-Barry-a-crumb-but-it-is-still-pretty-big-for-Barry) BARRY: --Thanks! VANESSA: --Yeah. BARRY: All-right.-Well #then... I-guess-I'll-see-you-around. -: Or-not. VANESSA: OK #Barry... BARRY: And-thank-you so-much-again...-for-before. VANESSA: Oh #that?-That-was-nothing. BARRY: Well #not-nothing #but...-Anyway... (Vanessa-and-Barry-hold-hands #but-Vanessa-has-to-hold-out-a-finger-because her-hands-is-to-big-and-Barry-holds-that) (The-custodian-looks-over-again-and-it-appears-Vanessa-is-laughing-at-her coffee-again.-The-lightbulb-that-he-was-screwing-in-sparks-and-he-falls-off the-ladder) (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-two-Bee-Scientists-testing-out-a-parachute in-a-Honex-wind-tunnel) BEE-SCIENTIST-#1: This-can't-possibly-work. BEE-SCIENTIST-#2: He's-all-set-to-go. We-may-as-well-try-it. -: OK #Dave #pull-the-chute. (Dave-pulls-the-chute-and-the-wind-slams-him-against-the-wall-and-he-falls on-his-face.The-camera-pans-over-and-we-see-Barry-and-Adam-walking together) ADAM: --Sounds-amazing. BARRY: --It-was-amazing! -: It-was-the-scariest #happiest-moment-of-my-life. ADAM: Humans!-I-can't-believe you-were-with-humans! -: Giant #scary-humans! What-were-they-like? BARRY: Huge-and-crazy.-They-talk-crazy. -: They-eat-crazy-giant-things. They-drive-crazy. ADAM: --Do-they-try-and-kill-you #like-on-TV? BARRY: --Some-of-them.-But-some-of-them-don't. ADAM: --How'd-you-get-back? BARRY: --Poodle. ADAM: You-did-it #and-I'm-glad.-You-saw whatever-you-wanted-to-see. -: You-had-your-'experience.'-Now-you can-pick-out-your-job-and-be-normal. BARRY: --Well... ADAM: --Well? BARRY: Well #I-met-someone. ADAM: You-did?-Was-she-Bee-ish? -: --A-wasp?!-Your-parents-will-kill-you! BARRY: --No #no #no #not-a-wasp. ADAM: --Spider? BARRY: --I'm-not-attracted-to-spiders. -: I-know #for-everyone-else #it's-the-hottest-thing #with-the-eight-legs-and-all. -: I-can't-get-by-that-face. ADAM: So-who-is-she? BARRY: She's...-human. ADAM: No #no.-That's-a-bee-law. You-wouldn't-break-a-bee-law. BARRY: --Her-name's-Vanessa. (Adam-puts-his-head-in-his-hands) ADAM: --Oh #boy. BARRY== She's-so-nice.-And-she's-a-florist! ADAM: Oh #no!-You're-dating-a-human-florist! BARRY: We're-not-dating. ADAM: You're-flying-outside-the-hive #talking to-humans-that-attack-our-homes -: with-power-washers-and-M-80s! That's-one-eighth-a-stick-of-dynamite! BARRY: She-saved-my-life! And-she-understands-me. ADAM: This-is-over! BARRY: Eat-this. (Barry-gives-Adam-a-piece-of-the-crumb-that-he-got-from-Vanessa.-Adam-eats it) ADAM: (Adam's-tone-changes) This-is-not-over!-What-was-that? BARRY: --They-call-it-a-crumb. ADAM: --It-was-so-stingin'-stripey! BARRY: And-that's-not-what-they-eat. That's-what-falls-off-what-they-eat! -: --You-know-what-a-Cinnabon-is? ADAM: --No. (Adam-opens-a-door-behind-him-and-he-pulls-Barry-in) BARRY: It's-bread-and-cinnamon-and-frosting. ADAM: Be-quiet! BARRY: They-heat-it-up... ADAM: Sit-down! (Adam-forces-Barry-to-sit-down) BARRY: (Still-rambling-about-Cinnabons) ...really-hot! (Adam-grabs-Barry-by-the-shoulders) ADAM: --Listen-to-me! -: We-are-not-them!-We're-us. There's-us-and-there's-them! BARRY== Yes #but-who-can-deny the-heart-that-is-yearning? ADAM: There's-no-yearning. Stop-yearning.-Listen-to-me! -: You-have-got-to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend.-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEE: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEES-AND-ADAM: Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-is-laying-on-a-raft-in-a-pool-full-of-honey. He-is-wearing-sunglasses) JANET: There-he-is.-He's-in-the-pool. MARTIN: You-know-what-your-problem-is #Barry? (Barry-pulls-down-his-sunglasses-and-he-looks-annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I-gotta-start-thinking-bee? JANET: How-much-longer-will-this-go-on? MARTIN: It's-been-three-days! Why-aren't-you-working? (Puts-sunglasses-back-on) BARRY: I've-got-a-lot-of-big-life-decisions to-think-about. MARTIN: What-life?-You-have-no-life! You-have-no-job.-You're-barely-a-bee! JANET: Would-it-kill-you to-make-a-little-honey? (Barry-rolls-off-the-raft-and-sinks-into-the-honey-pool) -: Barry #come-out. Your-father's-talking-to-you. -: Martin #would-you-talk-to-him? MARTIN: Barry #I'm-talking-to-you! (Barry-keeps-sinking-into-the-honey-until-he-is-suddenly-in-Central-Park having-a-picnic-with-Vanessa) (Barry-has-a-cup-of-honey-and-he-clinks-his-glass-with-Vanessas.-Suddenly-a mosquito-lands-on-Vanessa-and-she-slaps-it #killing-it.-They-both-gasp-but then-burst-out-laughing) VANESSA: You-coming? (The-camera-pans-over-and-Vanessa-is-climbing-into-a-small-yellow-airplane) BARRY: Got-everything? VANESSA: All-set! BARRY: Go-ahead.-I'll-catch-up. (Vanessa-lifts-off-and-flies-ahead) VANESSA: Don't-be-too-long. (Barry-catches-up-with-Vanessa-and-he-sticks-out-his-arms-like-ana-irplane. He-rolls-from-side-to-side #and-Vanessa-copies-him-with-the-airplane) VANESSA: Watch-this! (Barry-stays-back-and-watches-as-Vanessa-draws-a-heart-in-the-air-using pink-smoke-from-the-plane #but-on-the-last-loop-the-loop-she-suddenly crashes-into-a-mountain-and-the-plane-explodes.-The-destroyed-plane-falls into-some-rocks-and-explodes-a-second-time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As-Barry-is-yelling-his-mouth-fills-with-honey-and-he-wakes-up #discovering-that-he-was-just-day-dreaming.-He-slowly-sinks-back-into-the honey-pool) MARTIN: --We're-still-here. JANET: --I-told-you-not-to-yell-at-him. -: He-doesn't-respond-to-yelling! MARTIN: --Then-why-yell-at-me? JANET: --Because-you-don't-listen! MARTIN: I'm-not-listening-to-this. BARRY: Sorry #I've-gotta-go. MARTIN: --Where-are-you-going? BARRY: --I'm-meeting-a-friend. JANET: A-girl?-Is-this-why-you-can't-decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry-flies-out-the-door-and-Martin-shakes-his-head) -: JANET== I-just-hope-she's-Bee-ish. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-sitting-on-Vanessa's-shoulder-and-she-is closing-up-her-shop) BARRY: They-have-a-huge-parade of-flowers-every-year-in-Pasadena? VANESSA: To-be-in-the-Tournament-of-Roses #that's-every-florist's-dream! -: Up-on-a-float #surrounded by-flowers #crowds-cheering. BARRY: A-tournament.-Do-the-roses compete-in-athletic-events? VANESSA: No.-All-right #I've-got-one. How-come-you-don't-fly-everywhere? BARRY: It's-exhausting.-Why-don't-you run-everywhere?-It's-faster. VANESSA: Yeah #OK #I-see #I-see. All-right #your-turn. BARRY: TiVo.-You-can-just-freeze-live-TV? That's-insane! VANESSA: You-don't-have-that? BARRY: We-have-Hivo #but-it's-a-disease. It's-a-horrible #horrible-disease. VANESSA: Oh #my. (A-human-walks-by-and-Barry-narrowly-avoids-him) PASSERBY: Dumb-bees! VANESSA: You-must-want-to-sting-all-those-jerks. BARRY: We-try-not-to-sting. It's-usually-fatal-for-us. VANESSA: So-you-have-to-watch-your-temper (They-walk-into-a-store) BARRY: Very-carefully. You-kick-a-wall #take-a-walk #: write-an-angry-letter-and-throw-it-out. Work-through-it-like-any-emotion: -: Anger #jealousy #lust. (Suddenly-an-employee(Hector)-hits-Barry-off-of-Vanessa's-shoulder.-Hector thinks-he's-saving-Vanessa) VANESSA: (To-Barry) Oh #my-goodness!-Are-you-OK? (Barry-is-getting-up-off-the-floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To-Hector) --What-is-wrong-with-you?! HECTOR: (Confused) --It's-a-bug. VANESSA: He's-not-bothering-anybody. Get-out-of-here #you-creep! (Vanessa-hits-Hector-across-the-face-with-the-magazine-he-had-and-then-hits him-in-the-head.-Hector-backs-away-covering-his-head) Barry: What-was-that?-A-Pic-'N'-Save-circular? (Vanessa-sets-Barry-back-on-her-shoulder) VANESSA: Yeah #it-was.-How-did-you-know? BARRY: It-felt-like-about-10-pages. Seventy-five-is-pretty-much-our-limit. VANESSA: You've-really-got-that down-to-a-science. BARRY: --Oh #we-have-to.-I-lost-a-cousin-to-Italian-Vogue. VANESSA: --I'll-bet. (Barry-looks-to-his-right-and-notices-there-is-honey-for-sale-in-the-aisle) BARRY: What-in-the-name of-Mighty-Hercules-is-this? (Barry-looks-at-all-the-brands-of-honey #shocked) How-did-this-get-here? Cute-Bee #Golden-Blossom #: Ray-Liotta-Private-Select? (Barry-puts-his-hands-up-and-slowly-turns-around #a-look-of-disgust-on-his face) VANESSA: --Is-he-that-actor? BARRY: --I-never-heard-of-him. -: --Why-is-this-here? VANESSA: --For-people.-We-eat-it. BARRY: You-don't-have enough-food-of-your-own?! (Hector-looks-back-and-notices-that-Vanessa-is-talking-to-Barry) VANESSA: --Well #yes. BARRY: --How-do-you-get-it? VANESSA: --Bees-make-it. BARRY: --I-know-who-makes-it! -: And-it's-hard-to-make-it! -: There's-heating #cooling #stirring. You-need-a-whole-Krelman-thing! VANESSA: --It's-organic. BARRY: --It's-our-ganic! VANESSA: It's-just-honey #Barry. BARRY: Just-what?! -: Bees-don't-know-about-this! This-is-stealing!-A-lot-of-stealing! -: You've-taken-our-homes #schools #hospitals!-This-is-all-we-have! -: And-it's-on-sale?! I'm-getting-to-the-bottom-of-this. -: I'm-getting-to-the-bottom of-all-of-this! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-paints-his-face-with-black-strikes-like-a soldier-and-sneaks-into-the-storage-section-of-the-store) (Two-men #including-Hector #are-loading-boxes-into-some-trucks) -: SUPERMARKET-EMPLOYEE== Hey #Hector. -: --You-almost-done? HECTOR: --Almost. (Barry-takes-a-step-to-peak-around-the-corner) (Whispering) He-is-here.-I-sense-it. -: Well #I-guess-I'll-go-home-now (Hector-pretends-to-walk-away-by-walking-in-place-and-speaking-loudly) -: and-just-leave-this-nice-honey-out #with-no-one-around. BARRY: You're-busted #box-boy! HECTOR: I-knew-I-heard-something! So-you-can-talk! BARRY: I-can-talk. And-now-you'll-start-talking! -: Where-you-getting-the-sweet-stuff? Who's-your-supplier? HECTOR: I-don't-understand. I-thought-we-were-friends. -: The-last-thing-we-want to-do-is-upset-bees! (Hector-takes-a-thumbtack-out-of-the-board-behind-him-and-sword-fights Barry.-Barry-is-using-his-stinger-like-a-sword) -: You're-too-late!-It's-ours-now! BARRY: You #sir #have-crossed the-wrong-sword! HECTOR: You #sir #will-be-lunch for-my-iguana #Ignacio! (Barry-hits-the-thumbtack-out-of-Hectors-hand-and-Hector-surrenders) Barry: Where-is-the-honey-coming-from? -: Tell-me-where! HECTOR: (Pointing-to-leaving-truck) Honey-Farms!-It-comes-from-Honey-Farms! (Barry-chases-after-the-truck-but-it-is-getting-away.-He-flies-onto-a bicyclists'-backpack-and-he-catches-up-to-the-truck) CAR-DRIVER: (To-bicyclist) Crazy-person! (Barry-flies-off-and-lands-on-the-windshield-of-the-Honey-farms-truck. Barry-looks-around-and-sees-dead-bugs-splattered-everywhere) BARRY: What-horrible-thing-has-happened-here? -: These-faces #they-never-knew what-hit-them.-And-now -: they're-on-the-road-to-nowhere! (Barry-hears-a-sudden-whisper) (Barry-looks-up-and-sees-Mooseblood #a-mosquito-playing-dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just-keep-still. BARRY: What?-You're-not-dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do-I-look-dead?-They-will-wipe-anything that-moves.-Where-you-headed? BARRY: To-Honey-Farms. I-am-onto-something-huge-here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm-going-to-Alaska.-Moose-blood #crazy-stuff.-Blows-your-head-off! ANOTHER-BUG-PLAYING-DEAD: I'm-going-to-Tacoma. (Barry-looks-at-another-bug) BARRY: --And-you? MOOSEBLOOD: --He-really-is-dead. BARRY: All-right. (Another-bug-hits-the-windshield-and-the-drivers-notice.-They-activate-the windshield-wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The-windshield-wipers-are-slowly-sliding-over-the-dead-bugs-and-wiping them-off) BARRY: --What-is-that?! MOOSEBLOOD: --Oh #no! -: --A-wiper!-Triple-blade! BARRY: --Triple-blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump-on!-It's-your-only-chance #bee! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-grab-onto-the-wiper-and-they-hold-on-as-it-wipes-the windshield) Why-does-everything-have to-be-so-doggone-clean?! -: How-much-do-you-people-need-to-see?! (Bangs-on-windshield) -: Open-your-eyes! Stick-your-head-out-the-window! RADIO-IN-TRUCK: From-NPR-News-in-Washington #I'm-Carl-Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But-don't-kill-no-more-bugs! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-are-washed-off-by-the-wipr-fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: --Bee! BARRY: --Moose-blood-guy!! (Barry-starts-screaming-as-he-hangs-onto-the-antenna) (Suddenly-it-is-revealed-that-a-water-bug-is-also-hanging-on-the-antenna. There-is-a-pause-and-then-Barry-and-the-water-bug-both-start-screaming) TRUCK-DRIVER: --You-hear-something? GUY-IN-TRUCK: --Like-what? TRUCK-DRIVER: Like-tiny-screaming. GUY-IN-TRUCK: Turn-off-the-radio. (The-antenna-starts-to-lower-until-it-gets-to-low-and-sinks-into-the-truck. The-water-bug-flies-off-and-Barry-is-forced-to-let-go-and-he-is-blown-away. He-luckily-lands-inside-a-horn-on-top-of-the-truck-where-he-finds Mooseblood #who-was-blown-into-the-same-place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup #bee-boy? BARRY: Hey #Blood. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-that-Barry-is-deep-in-conversation-with Mooseblood.-They-have-been-sitting-in-this-truck-for-a-while) BARRY: ...Just-a-row-of-honey-jars #as-far-as-the-eye-could-see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I-assume-wherever-this-truck-goes is-where-they're-getting-it. -: I-mean #that-honey's-ours. MOOSEBLOOD: --Bees-hang-tight. BARRY: --We're-all-jammed-in. -: It's-a-close-community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not-us #man.-We-on-our-own. Every-mosquito-on-his-own. BARRY: --What-if-you-get-in-trouble? MOOSEBLOOD: --You-a-mosquito #you-in-trouble. -: Nobody-likes-us.-They-just-smack. See-a-mosquito #smack #smack! BARRY: At-least-you're-out-in-the-world. You-must-meet-girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito-girls-try-to-trade-up #get-with-a-moth #dragonfly. -: Mosquito-girl-don't-want-no-mosquito. (An-ambulance-passes-by-and-it-has-a-blood-donation-sign-on-it) You-got-to-be-kidding-me! -: Mooseblood's-about-to-leave the-building!-So-long #bee! (Mooseblood-leaves-and-flies-onto-the-window-of-the-ambulance-where-there are-other-mosquito's-hanging-out) -: --Hey #guys! OTHER-MOSQUITO: --Mooseblood! MOOSEBLOOD: I-knew-I'd-catch-y'all-down-here. Did-you-bring-your-crazy-straw? (The-truck-goes-out-of-view-and-Barry-notices-that-the-truck-he's-on-is pulling-into-a-camp-of-some-sort) TRUCK-DRIVER: We-throw-it-in-jars #slap-a-label-on-it #and-it's-pretty-much-pure-profit. (Barry-flies-out) BARRY: What-is-this-place? BEEKEEPER-1#: A-bee's-got-a-brain the-size-of-a-pinhead. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-are-pinheads! -: Pinhead. -: --Check-out-the-new-smoker. BEEKEEPER-#1: --Oh #sweet.-That's-the-one-you-want. -: The-Thomas-3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER-#1: Ninety-puffs-a-minute #semi-automatic. Twice-the-nicotine #all-the-tar. -: A-couple-breaths-of-this knocks-them-right-out. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money. BARRY: 'They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money'? (The-Beekeeper-sprays-hundreds-of-cheap-miniature-apartments-with-the smoker.-The-bees-are-fainting-or-passing-out) Oh #my! -: What's-going-on?-Are-you-OK? (Barry-flies-into-one-of-the-apartment-and-helps-a-Bee-couple-get-off-the ground.-They-are-coughing-and-its-hard-for-them-to-stand) BEE-IN-APARTMENT: Yeah.-It-doesn't-last-too-long. BARRY: Do-you-know-you're in-a-fake-hive-with-fake-walls? BEE-IN-APPARTMENT: Our-queen-was-moved-here. We-had-no-choice. (The-apartment-room-is-completely-empty-except-for-a-photo-on-the-wall-of the-'queen'-who-is-obviously-a-man-in-women's-clothes) BARRY: This-is-your-queen? That's-a-man-in-women's-clothes! -: That's-a-drag-queen! -: What-is-this? (Barry-flies-out-and-he-discovers-that-there-are-hundreds-of-these structures #each-housing-thousands-of-Bees) Oh #no! -: There's-hundreds-of-them! (Barry-takes-out-his-camera-and-takes-pictures-of-these-Bee-work-camps.-The beekeepers-look-very-evil-in-these-depictions) Bee-honey. -: Our-honey-is-being-brazenly-stolen on-a-massive-scale! -: This-is-worse-than-anything-bears have-done!-I-intend-to-do-something. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-showing-these-pictures-to-his-parents) JANET: Oh #Barry #stop. MARTIN: Who-told-you-humans-are-taking our-honey?-That's-a-rumor. BARRY: Do-these-look-like-rumors? (Holds-up-the-pictures) UNCLE-CARL: That's-a-conspiracy-theory. These-are-obviously-doctored-photos. JANET: How-did-you-get-mixed-up-in-this? ADAM: He's-been-talking-to-humans. JANET: --What? MARTIN: --Talking-to-humans?! ADAM: He-has-a-human-girlfriend. And-they-make-out! JANET: Make-out?-Barry! BARRY: We-do-not. ADAM: --You-wish-you-could. MARTIN: --Whose-side-are-you-on? BARRY: The-bees! UNCLE-CARL: (He-has-been-sitting-in-the-back-of-the-room-this-entire-time) I-dated-a-cricket-once-in-San-Antonio. Those-crazy-legs-kept-me-up-all-night. JANET: Barry #this-is-what-you-want to-do-with-your-life? BARRY: I-want-to-do-it-for-all-our-lives. Nobody-works-harder-than-bees! -: Dad #I-remember-you coming-home-so-overworked -: your-hands-were-still-stirring. You-couldn't-stop. JANET: I-remember-that. BARRY: What-right-do-they-have-to-our-honey? -: We-live-on-two-cups-a-year.-They-put-it in-lip-balm-for-no-reason-whatsoever! ADAM: Even-if-it's-true #what-can-one-bee-do? BARRY: Sting-them-where-it-really-hurts. MARTIN: In-the-face!-The-eye! -: --That-would-hurt. BARRY: --No. MARTIN: Up-the-nose?-That's-a-killer. BARRY: There's-only-one-place-you-can-sting the-humans #one-place-where-it-matters. (Flash-forward-a-bit-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-Bee-News) BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: Hive-at-Five #the-hive's-only full-hour-action-news-source. BEE-PROTESTOR: No-more-bee-beards! BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: With-Bob-Bumble-at-the-anchor-desk. -: Weather-with-Storm-Stinger. -: Sports-with-Buzz-Larvi. -: And-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: --Good-evening.-I'm-Bob-Bumble. JEANETTE-CHUNG: --And-I'm-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: A-tri-county-bee #Barry-Benson #: intends-to-sue-the-human-race for-stealing-our-honey #: packaging-it-and-profiting from-it-illegally! JEANETTE-CHUNG: Tomorrow-night-on-Bee-Larry-King #: we'll-have-three-former-queens-here-in our-studio #discussing-their-new-book #: Classy-Ladies #out-this-week-on-Hexagon. (The-scene-changes-to-an-interview-on-the-news-with-Bee-version-of-Larry King-and-Barry) BEE-LARRY-KING: Tonight-we're-talking-to-Barry-Benson. -: Did-you-ever-think #'I'm-a-kid from-the-hive.-I-can't-do-this'? BARRY: Bees-have-never-been-afraid to-change-the-world. -: What-about-Bee-Columbus? Bee-Gandhi?-Bejesus? BEE-LARRY-KING: Where-I'm-from #we'd-never-sue-humans. -: We-were-thinking of-stickball-or-candy-stores. BARRY: How-old-are-you? BEE-LARRY-KING: The-bee-community is-supporting-you-in-this-case #: which-will-be-the-trial of-the-bee-century. BARRY: You-know #they-have-a-Larry-King in-the-human-world-too. BEE-LARRY-KING: It's-a-common-name.-Next-week... BARRY: He-looks-like-you-and-has-a-show and-suspenders-and-colored-dots... BEE-LARRY-KING: Next-week... BARRY: Glasses #quotes-on-the-bottom-from-the guest-even-though-you-just-heard-'em. BEE-LARRY-KING: Bear-Week-next-week! They're-scary #hairy-and-here #live. (Bee-Larry-King-gets-annoyed-and-flies-away-offscreen) BARRY: Always-leans-forward #pointy-shoulders #squinty-eyes #very-Jewish. (Flash-forward-in-time.-We-see-Vanessa-enter-and-Ken-enters-behind-her. They-are-arguing) KEN: In-tennis #you-attack at-the-point-of-weakness! VANESSA: It-was-my-grandmother #Ken.-She's-81. KEN== Honey #her-backhand's-a-joke! I'm-not-gonna-take-advantage-of-that? BARRY: (To-Ken) Quiet #please. Actual-work-going-on-here. KEN: (Pointing-at-Barry) --Is-that-that-same-bee? VANESSA: --Yes #it-is! -: I'm-helping-him-sue-the-human-race. BARRY: --Hello. KEN: --Hello #bee. VANESSA: This-is-Ken. BARRY: (Recalling-the-'Winter-Boots'-incident-earlier) Yeah #I-remember-you.-Timberland #size ten-and-a-half.-Vibram-sole #I-believe. KEN: (To-Vanessa) Why-does-he-talk-again? VANESSA: Listen #you-better-go 'cause-we're-really-busy-working. KEN: But-it's-our-yogurt-night! VANESSA: (Holding-door-open-for-Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why-is-yogurt-night-so-difficult?! (Ken-leaves-and-Vanessa-walks-over-to-Barry.-His-workplace-is-a-mess) VANESSA: You-poor-thing. You-two-have-been-at-this-for-hours! BARRY: Yes #and-Adam-here has-been-a-huge-help. ADAM: --Frosting... --How-many-sugars? -==BARRY== Just-one.-I-try-not to-use-the-competition. -: So-why-are-you-helping-me? VANESSA: Bees-have-good-qualities. -: And-it-takes-my-mind-off-the-shop. -: Instead-of-flowers #people are-giving-balloon-bouquets-now. BARRY: Those-are-great #if-you're-three. VANESSA: And-artificial-flowers. BARRY: --Oh #those-just-get-me-psychotic! VANESSA: --Yeah #me-too. -: BARRY: Bent-stingers #pointless-pollination. ADAM: Bees-must-hate-those-fake-things! -: Nothing-worse than-a-daffodil-that's-had-work-done. -: Maybe-this-could-make-up for-it-a-little-bit. VANESSA: --This-lawsuit's-a-pretty-big-deal. BARRY: --I-guess. ADAM: You-sure-you-want-to-go-through-with-it? BARRY: Am-I-sure?-When-I'm-done-with the-humans #they-won't-be-able -: to-say #'Honey #I'm-home #' without-paying-a-royalty! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-human-news.-The-camera-shows a-crowd-outside-a-courthouse) NEWS-REPORTER: It's-an-incredible-scene here-in-downtown-Manhattan #: where-the-world-anxiously-waits #because-for-the-first-time-in-history #: we-will-hear-for-ourselves if-a-honeybee-can-actually-speak. (We-are-no-longer-watching-through-a-news-camera) ADAM: What-have-we-gotten-into-here #Barry? BARRY: It's-pretty-big #isn't-it? ADAM== (Looking-at-the-hundreds-of-people-around-the-courthouse) I-can't-believe-how-many-humans don't-work-during-the-day. BARRY: You-think-billion-dollar-multinational food-companies-have-good-lawyers? SECURITY-GUARD: Everybody-needs-to-stay behind-the-barricade. (A-limousine-drives-up-and-a-fat-man #Layton-Montgomery #a-honey-industry owner-gets-out-and-walks-past-Barry) ADAM: --What's-the-matter? BARRY: --I-don't-know #I-just-got-a-chill. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-everyone-is-in-the-court) MONTGOMERY: Well #if-it-isn't-the-bee-team. (To-Honey-Industry-lawyers) You-boys-work-on-this? MAN: All-rise!-The-Honorable Judge-Bumbleton-presiding. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: All-right.-Case-number-4475 #: Superior-Court-of-New-York #Barry-Bee-Benson-v.-the-Honey-Industry -: is-now-in-session. -: Mr.-Montgomery #you're-representing the-five-food-companies-collectively? MONTGOMERY: A-privilege. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson...-you're-representing all-the-bees-of-the-world? (Everyone-looks-closely #they-are-waiting-to-see-if-a-Bee-can-really-talk) (Barry-makes-several-buzzing-sounds-to-sound-like-a-Bee) BARRY: I'm-kidding.-Yes #Your-Honor #we're-ready-to-proceed. JUDGE-BUMBLBETON: Mr.-Montgomery #your-opening-statement #please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies-and-gentlemen-of-the-jury #: my-grandmother-was-a-simple-woman. -: Born-on-a-farm #she-believed it-was-man's-divine-right -: to-benefit-from-the-bounty of-nature-God-put-before-us. -: If-we-lived-in-the-topsy-turvy-world Mr.-Benson-imagines #: just-think-of-what-would-it-mean. -: I-would-have-to-negotiate with-the-silkworm -: for-the-elastic-in-my-britches! -: Talking-bee! (Montgomery-walks-over-and-looks-closely-at-Barry) -: How-do-we-know-this-isn't-some-sort-of -: holographic-motion-picture-capture Hollywood-wizardry? -: They-could-be-using-laser-beams! -: Robotics!-Ventriloquism! Cloning!-For-all-we-know #: he-could-be-on-steroids! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson? BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #there's-no-trickery-here. -: I'm-just-an-ordinary-bee. Honey's-pretty-important-to-me. -: It's-important-to-all-bees. We-invented-it! -: We-make-it.-And-we-protect-it with-our-lives. -: Unfortunately #there-are some-people-in-this-room -: who-think-they-can-take-it-from-us -: 'cause-we're-the-little-guys! I'm-hoping-that #after-this-is-all-over #: you'll-see-how #by-taking-our-honey #you-not-only-take-everything-we-have -: but-everything-we-are! JANET== (To-Martin) I-wish-he'd-dress-like-that all-the-time.-So-nice! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Call-your-first-witness. BARRY: So #Mr.-Klauss-Vanderhayden of-Honey-Farms #big-company-you-have. KLAUSS-VANDERHAYDEN: I-suppose-so. BARRY: I-see-you-also-own Honeyburton-and-Honron! KLAUSS: Yes #they-provide-beekeepers for-our-farms. BARRY: Beekeeper.-I-find-that to-be-a-very-disturbing-term. -: I-don't-imagine-you-employ any-bee-free-ers #do-you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) --No. BARRY: --I-couldn't-hear-you. KLAUSS: --No. BARRY: --No. -: Because-you-don't-free-bees. You-keep-bees.-Not-only-that #: it-seems-you-thought-a-bear-would-be an-appropriate-image-for-a-jar-of-honey. KLAUSS: They're-very-lovable-creatures. -: Yogi-Bear #Fozzie-Bear #Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You-mean-like-this? (The-bear-from-Over-The-Hedge-barges-in-through-the-back-door-and-it-is roaring-and-standing-on-its-hind-legs.-It-is-thrashing-its-claws-and-people are-screaming.-It-is-being-held-back-by-a-guard-who-has-the-bear-on-a chain) -: (Pointing-to-the-roaring-bear) Bears-kill-bees! -: How'd-you-like-his-head-crashing through-your-living-room?! -: Biting-into-your-couch! Spitting-out-your-throw-pillows! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: OK #that's-enough.-Take-him-away. (The-bear-stops-roaring-and-thrashing-and-walks-out) BARRY: So #Mr.-Sting #thank-you-for-being-here. Your-name-intrigues-me. -: --Where-have-I-heard-it-before? MR.-STING: --I-was-with-a-band-called-The-Police. BARRY: But-you've-never-been a-police-officer #have-you? STING: No #I-haven't. BARRY: No #you-haven't.-And-so-here we-have-yet-another-example -: of-bee-culture-casually stolen-by-a-human -: for-nothing-more-than a-prance-about-stage-name. STING: Oh #please. BARRY: Have-you-ever-been-stung #Mr.-Sting? -: Because-I'm-feeling a-little-stung #Sting. -: Or-should-I-say...-Mr.-Gordon-M.-Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's-not-his-real-name?!-You-idiots! BARRY: Mr.-Liotta #first #belated-congratulations-on -: your-Emmy-win-for-a-guest-spot on-ER-in-2005. RAY-LIOTTA: Thank-you.-Thank-you. BARRY: I-see-from-your-resume that-you're-devilishly-handsome -: with-a-churning-inner-turmoil that's-ready-to-blow. RAY-LIOTTA: I-enjoy-what-I-do.-Is-that-a-crime? BARRY: Not-yet-it-isn't.-But-is-this what-it's-come-to-for-you? -: Exploiting-tiny #helpless-bees so-you-don't -: have-to-rehearse your-part-and-learn-your-lines #sir? RAY-LIOTTA: Watch-it #Benson! I-could-blow-right-now! BARRY: This-isn't-a-goodfella. This-is-a-badfella! (Ray-Liotta-looses-it-and-tries-to-grab-Barry) RAY-LIOTTA: Why-doesn't-someone-just-step-on this-creep #and-we-can-all-go-home?! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: --Order-in-this-court! RAY-LIOTTA: --You're-all-thinking-it! (Judge-Bumbleton-starts-banging-her-gavel) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Order!-Order #I-say! RAY-LIOTTA: --Say-it! MAN: --Mr.-Liotta #please-sit-down! (We-see-a-montage-of-magazines-which-feature-the-court-case) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-back-home-with-Vanessa) BARRY: I-think-it-was-awfully-nice of-that-bear-to-pitch-in-like-that. VANESSA: I-think-the-jury's-on-our-side. BARRY: Are-we-doing-everything-right #you-know #legally? VANESSA: I'm-a-florist. BARRY: Right.-Well #here's-to-a-great-team. VANESSA: To-a-great-team! (Ken-walks-in-from-work.-He-sees-Barry-and-he-looks-upset-when-he-sees Barry-clinking-his-glass-with-Vanessa) KEN: Well #hello. VANESSA: --Oh #Ken! BARRY: --Hello! VANESSA: I-didn't-think-you-were-coming. -: No #I-was-just-late. I-tried-to-call #but... (Ken-holds-up-his-phone-and-flips-it-open.-The-phone-has-no-charge) ...the-battery... VANESSA: I-didn't-want-all-this-to-go-to-waste #so-I-called-Barry.-Luckily #he-was-free. KEN: Oh #that-was-lucky. (Ken-sits-down-at-the-table-across-from-Barry-and-Vanessa-leaves-the-room) VANESSA: There's-a-little-left. I-could-heat-it-up. KEN: (Not-taking-his-eyes-off-Barry) Yeah #heat-it-up #sure #whatever. BARRY: So-I-hear-you're-quite-a-tennis-player. -: I'm-not-much-for-the-game-myself. The-ball's-a-little-grabby. KEN: That's-where-I-usually-sit. Right... (Points-to-where-Barry-is-sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling-from-other-room) Ken #Barry-was-looking-at-your-resume #: and-he-agreed-with-me-that-eating-with chopsticks-isn't-really-a-special-skill. KEN: (To-Barry) You-think-I-don't-see-what-you're-doing? BARRY: I-know-how-hard-it-is-to-find the-right-job.-We-have-that-in-common. KEN: Do-we? BARRY: Bees-have-100-percent-employment #but-we-do-jobs-like-taking-the-crud-out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's-just-what I-was-thinking-about-doing. (Ken-reaches-for-a-fork-on-the-table-but-knocks-if-on-the-floor.-He-goes-to pick-it-up) VANESSA: Ken #I-let-Barry-borrow-your-razor for-his-fuzz.-I-hope-that-was-all-right. (Ken-quickly-rises-back-up-after-hearing-this-but-hits-his-head-on-the table-and-yells) BARRY: I'm-going-to-drain-the-old-stinger. KEN: Yeah #you-do-that. (Barry-flies-past-Ken-to-get-to-the-bathroom-and-Ken-freaks-out #splashing some-of-the-wine-he-was-using-to-cool-his-head-in-his-eyes.-He-yells-in anger) (Barry-looks-at-the-magazines-featuring-his-victories-in-court) BARRY: Look-at-that. (Barry-flies-into-the-bathroom) (He-puts-his-hand-on-his-head-but-this-makes-hurts-him-and-makes-him-even madder.-He-yells-again) (Barry-is-washing-his-hands-in-the-sink-but-then-Ken-walks-in) KEN: You-know #you-know-I've-just-about-had-it (Closes-bathroom-door-behind-him) with-your-little-mind-games. (Ken-is-menacingly-rolling-up-a-magazine) BARRY: (Backing-away) --What's-that? KEN: --Italian-Vogue. BARRY: Mamma-mia #that's-a-lot-of-pages. KEN: It's-a-lot-of-ads. BARRY: Remember-what-Van-said #why-is your-life-more-valuable-than-mine? KEN: That's-funny #I-just-can't-seem-to-recall-that! (Ken-smashes-everything-off-the-sink-with-the-magazine-and-Barry-narrowly escapes) (Ken-follows-Barry-around-and-tries-to-hit-him-with-the-magazine-but-he keeps-missing) (Ken-gets-a-spray-bottle) -: I-think-something-stinks-in-here! BARRY: (Enjoying-the-spray) I-love-the-smell-of-flowers. (Ken-holds-a-lighter-in-front-of-the-spray-bottle) KEN: How-do-you-like-the-smell-of-flames?! BARRY: Not-as-much. (Ken-fires-his-make-shift-flamethrower-but-misses-Barry #burning-the bathroom.-He-torches-the-whole-room-but-looses-his-footing-and-falls-into the-bathtub.-After-getting-hit-in-the-head-by-falling-objects-3-times-he picks-up-the-shower-head #revealing-a-Water-bug-hiding-under-it) WATER-BUG: Water-bug!-Not-taking-sides! (Barry-gets-up-out-of-a-pile-of-bathroom-supplies-and-he-is-wearing-a chapstick-hat) BARRY: Ken #I'm-wearing-a-Chapstick-hat! This-is-pathetic! (Ken-switches-the-shower-head-to-lethal) KEN: I've-got-issues! (Ken-sprays-Barry-with-the-shower-head-and-he-crash-lands-into-the-toilet) (Ken-menacingly-looks-down-into-the-toilet-at-Barry) Well #well #well #a-royal-flush! BARRY: --You're-bluffing. KEN: --Am-I? (flushes-toilet) (Barry-grabs-a-chapstick-from-the-toilet-seat-and-uses-it-to-surf-in-the flushing-toilet) BARRY: Surf's-up #dude! (Barry-flies-out-of-the-toilet-on-the-chapstick-and-sprays-Ken's-face-with the-toilet-water) -: EW #Poo-water! BARRY: That-bowl-is-gnarly. KEN: (Aiming-a-toilet-cleaner-at-Barry) Except-for-those-dirty-yellow-rings! (Barry-cowers-and-covers-his-head-and-Vanessa-runs-in-and-takes-the-toilet cleaner-from-Ken-just-before-he-hits-Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth!-What-are-you-doing?! KEN== (Leaning-towards-Barry) You-know #I-don't-even-like-honey! I-don't-eat-it! VANESSA: We-need-to-talk! (Vanessa-pulls-Ken-out-of-the-bathroom) -: He's-just-a-little-bee! -: And-he-happens-to-be the-nicest-bee-I've-met-in-a-long-time! KEN: Long-time?-What-are-you-talking-about?! Are-there-other-bugs-in-your-life? VANESSA: No #but-there-are-other-things-bugging me-in-life.-And-you're-one-of-them! KEN: Fine!-Talking-bees #no-yogurt-night... -: My-nerves-are-fried-from-riding on-this-emotional-roller-coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye #Ken. (Ken-huffs-and-walks-out-and-slams-the-door.-But-suddenly-he-walks-back-in and-stares-at-Barry) -: And-for-your-information #I-prefer-sugar-free #artificial sweeteners-MADE-BY-MAN! (Ken-leaves-again-and-Vanessa-leans-in-towards-Barry) VANESSA: I'm-sorry-about-all-that. (Ken-walks-back-in-again) KEN: I-know-it's-got an-aftertaste!-I-LIKE-IT! (Ken-leaves-for-the-last-time) VANESSA: I-always-felt-there-was-some-kind of-barrier-between-Ken-and-me. -: I-couldn't-overcome-it. Oh #well. -: Are-you-OK-for-the-trial? BARRY: I-believe-Mr.-Montgomery is-about-out-of-ideas. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry #Adam #and-Vanessa-are-back-in-court) MONTGOMERY-- We-would-like-to-call Mr.-Barry-Benson-Bee-to-the-stand. ADAM: Good-idea!-You-can-really-see-why-he's considered-one-of-the-best-lawyers... (Barry-stares-at-Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton #you've gotta-weave-some-magic with-this-jury #or-it's-gonna-be-all-over. MONTGOMERY: Don't-worry.-The-only-thing-I-have to-do-to-turn-this-jury-around -: is-to-remind-them of-what-they-don't-like-about-bees. (To-lawyer) --You-got-the-tweezers? LAWYER: --Are-you-allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only-to-losing #son.-Only-to-losing. -: Mr.-Benson-Bee #I'll-ask-you what-I-think-we'd-all-like-to-know. -: What-exactly-is-your-relationship (Points-to-Vanessa) -: to-that-woman? BARRY: We're-friends. MONTGOMERY: --Good-friends? BARRY: --Yes. MONTGOMERY: How-good?-Do-you-live-together? ADAM: Wait-a-minute... -: MONTGOMERY: Are-you-her-little... -: ...bedbug? (Adam's-stinger-starts-vibrating.-He-is-agitated) I've-seen-a-bee-documentary-or-two. From-what-I-understand #: doesn't-your-queen-give-birth to-all-the-bee-children? BARRY: --Yeah #but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing-at-Janet-and-Martin) --So-those-aren't-your-real-parents! JANET: --Oh #Barry... BARRY: --Yes #they-are! ADAM: Hold-me-back! (Vanessa-tries-to-hold-Adam-back.-He-wants-to-sting-Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're-an-illegitimate-bee #aren't-you #Benson? ADAM: He's-denouncing-bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't-y'all-date-your-cousins? (Montgomery-leans-over-on-the-jury-stand-and-stares-at-Adam) VANESSA: --Objection! (Vanessa-raises-her-hand-to-object-but-Adam-gets-free.-He-flies-straight-at Montgomery) =ADAM: --I'm-going-to-pincushion-this-guy! BARRY: Adam #don't!-It's-what-he-wants! (Adam-stings-Montgomery-in-the-butt-and-he-starts-thrashing-around) MONTGOMERY: Oh #I'm-hit!! -: Oh #lordy #I-am-hit! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: (Banging-gavel) Order!-Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The-venom!-The-venom is-coursing-through-my-veins! -: I-have-been-felled by-a-winged-beast-of-destruction! -: You-see?-You-can't-treat-them like-equals!-They're-striped-savages! -: Stinging's-the-only-thing they-know!-It's-their-way! BARRY: --Adam #stay-with-me. ADAM: --I-can't-feel-my-legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting-and-throwing-his-body-around-the-room) What-angel-of-mercy will-come-forward-to-suck-the-poison -: from-my-heaving-buttocks? JUDGE-BUMLBETON: I-will-have-order-in-this-court.-Order! -: Order #please! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-see-a-human-news-reporter) NEWS-REPORTER: The-case-of-the-honeybees versus-the-human-race -: took-a-pointed-turn-against-the-bees -: yesterday-when-one-of-their-legal team-stung-Layton-T.-Montgomery. (Adam-is-laying-in-a-hospital-bed-and-Barry-flies-in-to-see-him) BARRY: --Hey #buddy. ADAM: --Hey. BARRY: --Is-there-much-pain? ADAM: --Yeah. -: I... -: I-blew-the-whole-case #didn't-I? BARRY: It-doesn't-matter.-What-matters-is you're-alive.-You-could-have-died. ADAM: I'd-be-better-off-dead.-Look-at-me. (A-small-plastic-sword-is-replaced-as-Adam's-stinger) They-got-it-from-the-cafeteria downstairs #in-a-tuna-sandwich. -: Look #there's a-little-celery-still-on-it. (Flicks-off-the-celery-and-sighs) BARRY: What-was-it-like-to-sting-someone? ADAM: I-can't-explain-it.-It-was-all... -: All-adrenaline-and-then... and-then-ecstasy! BARRY: ...All-right. ADAM: You-think-it-was-all-a-trap? BARRY: Of-course.-I'm-sorry. I-flew-us-right-into-this. -: What-were-we-thinking?-Look-at-us.-We're just-a-couple-of-bugs-in-this-world. ADAM: What-will-the-humans-do-to-us if-they-win? BARRY: I-don't-know. ADAM: I-hear-they-put-the-roaches-in-motels. That-doesn't-sound-so-bad. BARRY: Adam #they-check-in #but-they-don't-check-out! ADAM: Oh #my. (Coughs) Could-you-get-a-nurse to-close-that-window? BARRY: --Why? ADAM: --The-smoke. (We-can-see-that-two-humans-are-smoking-cigarettes-outside) -: Bees-don't-smoke. BARRY: Right.-Bees-don't-smoke. -: Bees-don't-smoke! But-some-bees-are-smoking. -: That's-it!-That's-our-case! ADAM: It-is?-It's-not-over? BARRY: Get-dressed.-I've-gotta-go-somewhere. -: Get-back-to-the-court-and-stall. Stall-any-way-you-can. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Adam-is-making-a-paper-boat-in-the-courtroom) ADAM: And-assuming-you've-done-step-29-correctly #you're-ready-for-the-tub! (We-see-that-the-jury-have-each-made-their-own-paper-boats-after-being taught-how-by-Adam.-They-all-look-confused) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman. ADAM: Yes?-Yes #Your-Honor! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Where-is-the-rest-of-your-team? ADAM: (Continues-stalling) Well #Your-Honor #it's-interesting. -: Bees-are-trained-to-fly-haphazardly #: and-as-a-result #we-don't-make-very-good-time. -: I-actually-heard-a-funny-story-about... MONTGOMERY: Your-Honor #haven't-these-ridiculous-bugs -: taken-up-enough of-this-court's-valuable-time? -: How-much-longer-will-we-allow these-absurd-shenanigans-to-go-on? -: They-have-presented-no-compelling evidence-to-support-their-charges -: against-my-clients #who-run-legitimate-businesses. -: I-move-for-a-complete-dismissal of-this-entire-case! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman #I'm-afraid-I'm-going -: to-have-to-consider Mr.-Montgomery's-motion. ADAM: But-you-can't!-We-have-a-terrific-case. MONTGOMERY: Where-is-your-proof? Where-is-the-evidence? -: Show-me-the-smoking-gun! BARRY: (Barry-flies-in-through-the-door) Hold-it #Your-Honor! You-want-a-smoking-gun? -: Here-is-your-smoking-gun. (Vanessa-walks-in-holding-a-bee-smoker.-She-sets-it-down-on-the-Judge's podium) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: What-is-that? BARRY: It's-a-bee-smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks-up-smoker) What #this? This-harmless-little-contraption? -: This-couldn't-hurt-a-fly #let-alone-a-bee. (Montgomery-accidentally-fires-it-at-the-bees-in-the-crowd-and-they-faint and-cough) (Dozens-of-reporters-start-taking-pictures-of-the-suffering-bees) BARRY: Look-at-what-has-happened -: to-bees-who-have-never-been-asked #'Smoking-or-non?' -: Is-this-what-nature-intended-for-us? -: To-be-forcibly-addicted to-smoke-machines -: and-man-made-wooden-slat-work-camps? -: Living-out-our-lives-as-honey-slaves to-the-white-man? (Barry-points-to-the-honey-industry-owners.-One-of-them-is-an-African American-so-he-awkwardly-separates-himself-from-the-others) LAWYER: --What-are-we-gonna-do? --He's-playing-the-species-card. BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #please #free-these-bees! ADAM-AND-VANESSA: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! BEES-IN-CROWD: Free-the-bees! HUMAN-JURY: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: The-court-finds-in-favor-of-the-bees! BARRY: Vanessa #we-won! VANESSA: I-knew-you-could-do-it!-High-five! (Vanessa-hits-Barry-hard-because-her-hand-is-too-big) -: Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm-OK!-You-know-what-this-means? -: All-the-honey will-finally-belong-to-the-bees. -: Now-we-won't-have to-work-so-hard-all-the-time. MONTGOMERY: This-is-an-unholy-perversion of-the-balance-of-nature #Benson. -: You'll-regret-this. (Montgomery-leaves-and-Barry-goes-outside-the-courtroom.-Several-reporters start-asking-Barry-questions) REPORTER-1#: Barry #how-much-honey-is-out-there? BARRY: All-right.-One-at-a-time. REPORTER-2#: Barry #who-are-you-wearing? BARRY: My-sweater-is-Ralph-Lauren #and-I-have-no-pants. (Barry-flies-outside-with-the-paparazzi-and-Adam-and-Vanessa-stay-back) ADAM: (To-Vanessa) --What-if-Montgomery's-right? Vanessa: --What-do-you-mean? ADAM: We've-been-living-the-bee-way a-long-time #27-million-years. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-a-man) BUSINESS-MAN: Congratulations-on-your-victory. What-will-you-demand-as-a-settlement? BARRY: First #we'll-demand-a-complete-shutdown of-all-bee-work-camps. (As-Barry-is-talking-we-see-a-montage-of-men-putting-'closed'-tape-over-the work-camps-and-freeing-the-bees-in-the-crappy-apartments) Then-we-want-back-the-honey that-was-ours-to-begin-with #: every-last-drop. (Men-in-suits-are-pushing-all-the-honey-of-the-aisle-and-into-carts) We-demand-an-end-to-the-glorification of-the-bear-as-anything-more (We-see-a-statue-of-a-bear-shaped-honey-container-being-pulled-down-by bees) than-a-filthy #smelly #bad-breath-stink-machine. -: We're-all-aware of-what-they-do-in-the-woods. (We-see-Winnie-the-Pooh-sharing-his-honey-with-Piglet-in-the-cross-hairs-of a-high-tech-sniper-rifle) BARRY: (Looking-through-binoculars) Wait-for-my-signal. -: Take-him-out. (Winnie-gets-hit-by-a-tranquilizer-dart-and-dramatically-falls-off-the-log he-was-standing-on #his-tongue-hanging-out.-Piglet-looks-at-Pooh-in-fear and-the-Sniper-takes-the-honey.) SNIPER: He'll-have-nausea for-a-few-hours #then-he'll-be-fine. (Flash-forward-in-time) BARRY: And-we-will-no-longer-tolerate bee-negative-nicknames... (Mr.-Sting-is-sitting-at-home-until-he-is-taken-out-of-his-house-by-the-men in-suits) STING: But-it's-just-a-prance-about-stage-name! BARRY: ...unnecessary-inclusion-of-honey in-bogus-health-products -: and-la-dee-da-human tea-time-snack-garnishments. (An-old-lady-is-mixing-honey-into-her-tea-but-suddenly-men-in-suits-smash her-face-down-on-the-table-and-take-the-honey) OLD-LADY: Can't-breathe. (A-honey-truck-pulls-up-to-Barry's-hive) WORKER: Bring-it-in #boys! -: Hold-it-right-there!-Good. -: Tap-it. (Tons-of-honey-is-being-pumped-into-the-hive's-storage) BEE-WORKER-1#: (Honey-overflows-from-the-cup) Mr.-Buzzwell #we-just-passed-three-cups #and-there's-gallons-more-coming! -: --I-think-we-need-to-shut-down! =BEE-WORKER-#2= --Shut-down?-We've-never-shut-down. -: Shut-down-honey-production! DEAN-BUZZWELL: Stop-making-honey! (The-bees-all-leave-their-stations.-Two-bees-run-into-a-room-and-they-put the-keys-into-a-machine) Turn-your-key #sir! (Two-worker-bees-dramatically-turn-their-keys #which-opens-the-button-which they-press #shutting-down-the-honey-making-machines.-This-is-the-first-time this-has-ever-happened) BEE: ...What-do-we-do-now? (Flash-forward-in-time-and-a-Bee-is-about-to-jump-into-a-pool-full-of honey) Cannonball! (The-bee-gets-stuck-in-the-honey-and-we-get-a-short-montage-of-Bees-leaving work) (We-see-the-Pollen-Jocks-flying-but-one-of-them-gets-a-call-on-his-antenna) LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') We're-shutting-honey-production! -: Mission-abort. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Aborting-pollination-and-nectar-detail. Returning-to-base. (The-Pollen-Jocks-fly-back-to-the-hive) (We-get-a-time-lapse-of-Central-Park-slowly-wilting-away-as-the-bees-all relax) BARRY: Adam #you-wouldn't-believe how-much-honey-was-out-there. ADAM: Oh #yeah? BARRY: What's-going-on?-Where-is-everybody? (The-entire-street-is-deserted) -: --Are-they-out-celebrating? ADAM: --They're-home. -: They-don't-know-what-to-do. Laying-out #sleeping-in. -: I-heard-your-Uncle-Carl-was-on-his-way to-San-Antonio-with-a-cricket. BARRY: At-least-we-got-our-honey-back. ADAM: Sometimes-I-think #so-what-if-humans liked-our-honey?-Who-wouldn't? -: It's-the-greatest-thing-in-the-world! I-was-excited-to-be-part-of-making-it. -: This-was-my-new-desk.-This-was-my new-job.-I-wanted-to-do-it-really-well. -: And-now... -: Now-I-can't. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-Vanessa) BARRY: I-don't-understand why-they're-not-happy. -: I-thought-their-lives-would-be-better! -: They're-doing-nothing.-It's-amazing. Honey-really-changes-people. VANESSA: You-don't-have-any-idea what's-going-on #do-you? BARRY: --What-did-you-want-to-show-me? (Vanessa-takes-Barry-to-the-rooftop-where-they-first-had-coffee-and-points to-her-store) VANESSA: --This. (Points-at-her-flowers.-They-are-all-grey-and-wilting) BARRY: What-happened-here? VANESSA: That-is-not-the-half-of-it. (Small-flash-forward-in-time-and-Vanessa-and-Barry-are-on-the-roof-of-her store-and-she-points-to-Central-Park) (We-see-that-Central-Park-is-no-longer-green-and-colorful #rather-it-is grey #brown #and-dead-like.-It-is-very-depressing-to-look-at) BARRY: Oh #no.-Oh #my. -: They're-all-wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't-look-very-good #does-it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And-whose-fault-do-you-think-that-is? BARRY: You-know #I'm-gonna-guess-bees. VANESSA== (Staring-at-Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically #me. -: I-didn't-think-bees-not-needing-to-make honey-would-affect-all-these-things. VANESSA: It's-not-just-flowers. Fruits #vegetables #they-all-need-bees. BARRY: That's-our-whole-SAT-test-right-there. VANESSA: Take-away-produce #that-affects the-entire-animal-kingdom. -: And-then #of-course... BARRY: The-human-species? -: So-if-there's-no-more-pollination #: it-could-all-just-go-south-here #couldn't-it? VANESSA: I-know-this-is-also-partly-my-fault. BARRY: How-about-a-suicide-pact? VANESSA: How-do-we-do-it? BARRY: --I'll-sting-you #you-step-on-me. VANESSA: --That-just-kills-you-twice. BARRY: Right #right. VANESSA: Listen #Barry... sorry #but-I-gotta-get-going. (Vanessa-leaves) BARRY: (To-himself) I-had-to-open-my-mouth-and-talk. -: Vanessa? -: Vanessa?-Why-are-you-leaving? Where-are-you-going? (Vanessa-is-getting-into-a-taxi) VANESSA: To-the-final-Tournament-of-Roses-parade in-Pasadena. -: They've-moved-it-to-this-weekend because-all-the-flowers-are-dying. -: It's-the-last-chance I'll-ever-have-to-see-it. BARRY: Vanessa #I-just-wanna-say-I'm-sorry. I-never-meant-it-to-turn-out-like-this. VANESSA: I-know.-Me-neither. (The-taxi-starts-to-drive-away) BARRY: Tournament-of-Roses. Roses-can't-do-sports. -: Wait-a-minute.-Roses.-Roses? -: Roses! -: Vanessa! (Barry-flies-after-the-Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! -: Barry? (Barry-is-flying-outside-the-window-of-the-taxi) BARRY: --Roses-are-flowers! VANESSA: --Yes #they-are. BARRY: Flowers #bees #pollen! VANESSA: I-know. That's-why-this-is-the-last-parade. BARRY: Maybe-not. Could-you-ask-him-to-slow-down? VANESSA: Could-you-slow-down? (The-taxi-driver-screeches-to-a-stop-and-Barry-keeps-flying-forward) -: Barry! (Barry-flies-back-to-the-window) BARRY: OK #I-made-a-huge-mistake. This-is-a-total-disaster #all-my-fault. VANESSA: Yes #it-kind-of-is. BARRY: I've-ruined-the-planet. I-wanted-to-help-you -: with-the-flower-shop. I've-made-it-worse. VANESSA: Actually #it's-completely-closed-down. BARRY: I-thought-maybe-you-were-remodeling. -: But-I-have-another-idea #and-it's greater-than-my-previous-ideas-combined. VANESSA: I-don't-want-to-hear-it! BARRY: All-right #they-have-the-roses #the-roses-have-the-pollen. -: I-know-every-bee #plant and-flower-bud-in-this-park. -: All-we-gotta-do-is-get-what-they've-got back-here-with-what-we've-got. -: --Bees. VANESSA: --Park. BARRY: --Pollen! VANESSA: --Flowers. BARRY: --Re-pollination! VANESSA: --Across-the-nation! -: Tournament-of-Roses #Pasadena #California. -: They've-got-nothing but-flowers #floats-and-cotton-candy. -: Security-will-be-tight. BARRY: I-have-an-idea. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Vanessa-is-about-to-board-a-plane-which-has-all-the Roses-on-board. VANESSA: Vanessa-Bloome #FTD. (Holds-out-badge) -: Official-floral-business.-It's-real. SECURITY-GUARD: Sorry #ma'am.-Nice-brooch. =VANESSA== Thank-you.-It-was-a-gift. (Barry-is-revealed-to-be-hiding-inside-the-brooch) (Flash-back-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-discussing-their-plan) BARRY: Once-inside #we-just-pick-the-right-float. VANESSA: How-about-The-Princess-and-the-Pea? -: I-could-be-the-princess #and-you-could-be-the-pea! BARRY: Yes #I-got-it. -: --Where-should-I-sit? GUARD: --What-are-you? BARRY: --I-believe-I'm-the-pea. GUARD: --The-pea? VANESSA: It-goes-under-the-mattresses. GUARD: --Not-in-this-fairy-tale #sweetheart. --I'm-getting-the-marshal. VANESSA: You-do-that! This-whole-parade-is-a-fiasco! -: Let's-see-what-this-baby'll-do. (Vanessa-drives-the-float-through-traffic) GUARD: Hey #what-are-you-doing?! BARRY== Then-all-we-do is-blend-in-with-traffic... -: ...without-arousing-suspicion. -: Once-at-the-airport #there's-no-stopping-us. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-about-to-get-on-a-plane) SECURITY-GUARD: Stop!-Security. -: --You-and-your-insect-pack-your-float? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Has-it-been in-your-possession-the-entire-time? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Would-you-remove-your-shoes? (To-Barry) --Remove-your-stinger. BARRY: --It's-part-of-me. SECURITY-GUARD: I-know.-Just-having-some-fun. Enjoy-your-flight. (Barry-plotting-with-Vanessa) BARRY: Then-if-we're-lucky #we'll-have just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-flying-on-the-plane) Can-you-believe-how-lucky-we-are?-We have-just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job! VANESSA: I-think-this-is-gonna-work. BARRY: It's-got-to-work. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: (On-intercom) Attention #passengers #this-is-Captain-Scott. -: We-have-a-bit-of-bad-weather in-New-York. -: It-looks-like-we'll-experience a-couple-hours-delay. VANESSA: Barry #these-are-cut-flowers with-no-water.-They'll-never-make-it. BARRY: I-gotta-get-up-there and-talk-to-them. VANESSA== Be-careful. (Barry-flies-right-outside-the-cockpit-door) BARRY: Can-I-get-help with-the-Sky-Mall-magazine? I'd-like-to-order-the-talking inflatable-nose-and-ear-hair-trimmer. (The-flight-attendant-opens-the-door-and-walks-out-and-Barry-flies-into-the cockpit-unseen) BARRY: Captain #I'm-in-a-real-situation. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: --What'd-you-say #Hal? CO-PILOT-HAL: --Nothing. (Scott-notices-Barry-and-freaks-out) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No #no #no #Don't-freak-out!-My-entire-species... (Captain-Scott-gets-out-of-his-seat-and-tries-to-suck-Barry-into-a-handheld vacuum) HAL: (To-Scott) What-are-you-doing? (Barry-lands-on-Hals-hair-but-Scott-sees-him.-He-tries-to-suck-up-Barry-but instead-he-sucks-up-Hals-toupee) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: --Wait-a-minute!-I'm-an-attorney! HAL: (Hal-doesn't-know-Barry-is-on-his-head) --Who's-an-attorney? CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Don't-move. (Scott-hits-Hal-in-the-face-with-the-vacuum-in-an-attempt-to-hit-Barry.-Hal is-knocked-out-and-he-falls-on-the-life-raft-button-which-launches-an infalatable-boat-into-Scott #who-gets-knocked-out-and-falls-to-the-floor. They-are-both-uncounscious.) BARRY: (To-himself) Oh #Barry. BARRY: (On-intercom #with-a-Southern-accent) Good-afternoon #passengers. This-is-your-captain. -: Would-a-Miss-Vanessa-Bloome-in-24B please-report-to-the-cockpit? (Vanessa-looks-confused) (Normal-accent) ...And-please-hurry! (Vanessa-opens-the-door-and-sees-the-life-raft-and-the-uncounscious-pilots) VANESSA: What-happened-here? BARRY: I-tried-to-talk-to-them #but then-there-was-a-DustBuster #a-toupee #a-life-raft-exploded. -: Now-one's-bald #one's-in-a-boat #and-they're-both-unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is-that-another-bee-joke? BARRY: --No! -: No-one's-flying-the-plane! BUD-DITCHWATER: (Through-radio-on-plane) This-is-JFK-control-tower #Flight-356. What's-your-status? VANESSA: This-is-Vanessa-Bloome. I'm-a-florist-from-New-York. BUD: Where's-the-pilot? VANESSA: He's-unconscious #and-so-is-the-copilot. BUD: Not-good.-Does-anyone-onboard have-flight-experience? BARRY: As-a-matter-of-fact #there-is. BUD: --Who's-that? BARRY: --Barry-Benson. BUD: From-the-honey-trial?!-Oh #great. BARRY: Vanessa #this-is-nothing-more than-a-big-metal-bee. -: It's-got-giant-wings #huge-engines. VANESSA: I-can't-fly-a-plane. BARRY: --Why-not?-Isn't-John-Travolta-a-pilot? VANESSA: --Yes. BARRY: How-hard-could-it-be? (Vanessa-sits-down-and-flies-for-a-little-bit-but-we-see-lightning-clouds outside-the-window) VANESSA: Wait #Barry! We're-headed-into-some-lightning. (An-ominous-lightning-storm-looms-in-front-of-the-plane) (We-are-now-watching-the-Bee-News) BOB-BUMBLE: This-is-Bob-Bumble.-We-have-some late-breaking-news-from-JFK-Airport #: where-a-suspenseful-scene is-developing. -: Barry-Benson #fresh-from-his-legal-victory... ADAM: That's-Barry! BOB-BUMBLE: ...is-attempting-to-land-a-plane #loaded-with-people #flowers -: and-an-incapacitated-flight-crew. JANET #MARTIN #UNCLE-CAR-AND-ADAM: Flowers?! (The-scene-switches-to-the-human-news) REPORTER: (Talking-with-Bob-Bumble) We-have-a-storm-in-the-area and-two-individuals-at-the-controls -: with-absolutely-no-flight-experience. BOB-BUMBLE: Just-a-minute. There's-a-bee-on-that-plane. BUD: I'm-quite-familiar-with-Mr.-Benson and-his-no-account-compadres. -: They've-done-enough-damage. REPORTER: But-isn't-he-your-only-hope? BUD: Technically #a-bee shouldn't-be-able-to-fly-at-all. -: Their-wings-are-too-small... BARRY: (Through-radio) Haven't-we-heard-this-a-million-times? -: 'The-surface-area-of-the-wings and-body-mass-make-no-sense.'... BOB-BUMBLE: --Get-this-on-the-air! BEE: --Got-it. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --Stand-by. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --We're-going-live! BARRY: (Through-radio-on-TV) ...The-way-we-work-may-be-a-mystery-to-you. -: Making-honey-takes-a-lot-of-bees doing-a-lot-of-small-jobs. -: But-let-me-tell-you-about-a-small-job. -: If-you-do-it-well #it-makes-a-big-difference. -: More-than-we-realized. To-us #to-everyone. -: That's-why-I-want-to-get-bees back-to-working-together. -: That's-the-bee-way! We're-not-made-of-Jell-O. -: We-get-behind-a-fellow. -: --Black-and-yellow! BEES: --Hello! (The-scene-switches-and-Barry-is-teaching-Vanessa-how-to-fly) BARRY: Left #right #down #hover. VANESSA: --Hover? BARRY: --Forget-hover. VANESSA: This-isn't-so-hard. (Pretending-to-honk-the-horn) Beep-beep!-Beep-beep! (A-Lightning-bolt-hits-the-plane-and-autopilot-turns-off) Barry #what-happened?! BARRY: Wait #I-think-we-were on-autopilot-the-whole-time. VANESSA: --That-may-have-been-helping-me. BARRY: --And-now-we're-not! VANESSA: So-it-turns-out-I-cannot-fly-a-plane. (The-plane-plummets-but-we-see-Lou-Lu-Duva-and-the-Pollen-Jocks #along-with multiple-other-bees-flying-towards-the-plane) Lou-Lu-DUva: All-of-you #let's-get behind-this-fellow!-Move-it-out! -: Move-out! (The-scene-switches-back-to-Vanessa-and-Barry-in-the-plane) BARRY: Our-only-chance-is-if-I-do-what-I'd-do #you-copy-me-with-the-wings-of-the-plane! (Barry-sticks-out-his-arms-like-an-airplane-and-flys-in-front-of-Vanessa's face) VANESSA: Don't-have-to-yell. BARRY: I'm-not-yelling! We're-in-a-lot-of-trouble. VANESSA: It's-very-hard-to-concentrate with-that-panicky-tone-in-your-voice! BARRY: It's-not-a-tone.-I'm-panicking! VANESSA: I-can't-do-this! (Barry-slaps-Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa #pull-yourself-together. You-have-to-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: (Slaps-Barry) You-snap-out-of-it. BARRY: (Slaps-Vanessa) -: You-snap-out-of-it. VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! (We-see-that-all-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-under-the-plane) VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --Hold-it! BARRY: --Why?-Come-on #it's-my-turn. VANESSA: How-is-the-plane-flying? (The-plane-is-now-safely-flying) VANESSA: I-don't-know. (Barry's-antennae-rings-like-a-phone.-Barry-picks-up) BARRY: Hello? LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') Benson #got-any-flowers for-a-happy-occasion-in-there? (All-of-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-carrying-the-plane) BARRY: The-Pollen-Jocks! -: They-do-get-behind-a-fellow. LOU-LU-DUVA: --Black-and-yellow. POLLEN-JOCKS: --Hello. LOU-LU-DUVA: All-right #let's-drop-this-tin-can on-the-blacktop. BARRY: Where?-I-can't-see-anything.-Can-you? VANESSA: No #nothing.-It's-all-cloudy. -: Come-on.-You-got-to-think-bee #Barry. BARRY: --Thinking-bee. --Thinking-bee. (On-the-runway-there-are-millions-of-bees-laying-on-their-backs) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: Wait-a-minute. I-think-I'm-feeling-something. VANESSA: --What? BARRY: --I-don't-know.-It's-strong #pulling-me. -: Like-a-27-million-year-old-instinct. -: Bring-the-nose-down. BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! CONTROL-TOWER-OPERATOR: --What-in-the-world-is-on-the-tarmac? BUD: --Get-some-lights-on-that! (It-is-revealed-that-all-the-bees-are-organized-into-a-giant-pulsating flower-formation) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Vanessa #aim-for-the-flower. VANESSA: --OK. BARRY: Out-the-engines.-We're-going-in on-bee-power.-Ready #boys? LOU-LU-DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good.-Good.-Easy #now.-That's-it. -: Land-on-that-flower! -: Ready?-Full-reverse! -: Spin-it-around! (The-plane's-nose-is-pointed-at-a-flower-painted-on-a-nearby-plane) --Not-that-flower!-The-other-one! VANESSA: --Which-one? BARRY: --That-flower. (The-plane-is-now-pointed-at-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt.-He-freaks-out and-tries-to-take-a-picture-of-the-plane) VANESSA: --I'm-aiming-at-the-flower! BARRY: That's-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt. I-mean-the-giant-pulsating-flower made-of-millions-of-bees! (The-plane-hovers-over-the-bee-flower) -: Pull-forward.-Nose-down.-Tail-up. -: Rotate-around-it. VANESSA: --This-is-insane #Barry! BARRY: --This's-the-only-way-I-know-how-to-fly. BUD: Am-I-koo-koo-kachoo #or-is-this-plane flying-in-an-insect-like-pattern? (The-plane-is-unrealistically-hovering-and-spinning-over-the-bee-flower) BARRY: Get-your-nose-in-there.-Don't-be-afraid. Smell-it.-Full-reverse! -: Just-drop-it.-Be-a-part-of-it. -: Aim-for-the-center! -: Now-drop-it-in!-Drop-it-in #woman! -: Come-on #already. (The-bees-scatter-and-the-plane-safely-lands) VANESSA: Barry #we-did-it! You-taught-me-how-to-fly! BARRY: --Yes! (Vanessa-is-about-to-high-five-Barry) No-high-five! VANESSA: --Right. ADAM: Barry #it-worked! Did-you-see-the-giant-flower? BARRY: What-giant-flower?-Where?-Of-course I-saw-the-flower!-That-was-genius! ADAM: --Thank-you. BARRY: --But-we're-not-done-yet. -: Listen #everyone! -: This-runway-is-covered with-the-last-pollen -: from-the-last-flowers available-anywhere-on-Earth. -: That-means-this-is-our-last-chance. -: We're-the-only-ones-who-make-honey #pollinate-flowers-and-dress-like-this. -: If-we're-gonna-survive-as-a-species #this-is-our-moment!-What-do-you-say? -: Are-we-going-to-be-bees #or-just Museum-of-Natural-History-keychains? BEES: We're-bees! BEE-WHO-LIKES-KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then-follow-me!-Except-Keychain. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Hold-on #Barry.-Here. -: You've-earned-this. BARRY: Yeah! -: I'm-a-Pollen-Jock!-And-it's-a-perfect fit.-All-I-gotta-do-are-the-sleeves. (The-Pollen-Jocks-throw-Barry-a-nectar-collecting-gun.-Barry-catches-it) Oh #yeah. JANET: That's-our-Barry. (Barry-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-get-pollen-from-the-flowers-on-the-plane) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-over-NYC) -: (Barry-pollinates-the-flowers-in-Vanessa's-shop-and-then-heads-to-Central Park) BOY-IN-PARK: Mom!-The-bees-are-back! ADAM: (Putting-on-his-Krelman-hat) If-anybody-needs to-make-a-call #now's-the-time. -: I-got-a-feeling-we'll-be working-late-tonight! (The-bee-honey-factories-are-back-up-and-running) (Meanwhile-at-Vanessa's-shop) VANESSA: (To-customer) Here's-your-change.-Have-a-great afternoon!-Can-I-help-who's-next? -: Would-you-like-some-honey-with-that? It-is-bee-approved.-Don't-forget-these. (There-is-a-room-in-the-shop-where-Barry-does-legal-work-for-other-animals. He-is-currently-talking-with-a-Cow) COW: Milk #cream #cheese #it's-all-me. And-I-don't-see-a-nickel! -: Sometimes-I-just-feel like-a-piece-of-meat! BARRY: I-had-no-idea. VANESSA: Barry #I'm-sorry. Have-you-got-a-moment? BARRY: Would-you-excuse-me? My-mosquito-associate-will-help-you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry-I'm-late. COW: He's-a-lawyer-too? MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am #I-was-already-a-blood-sucking-parasite. All-I-needed-was-a-briefcase. VANESSA: Have-a-great-afternoon! -: Barry #I-just-got-this-huge-tulip-order #and-I-can't-get-them-anywhere. BARRY: No-problem #Vannie. Just-leave-it-to-me. VANESSA: You're-a-lifesaver #Barry. Can-I-help-who's-next? BARRY: All-right #scramble #jocks! It's-time-to-fly. VANESSA: Thank-you #Barry! (Ken-walks-by-on-the-sidewalk-and-sees-the-'bee-approved-honey'-in Vanessa's-shop) KEN: That-bee-is-living-my-life!! ANDY: Let-it-go #Kenny. KEN: --When-will-this-nightmare-end?! ANDY: --Let-it-all-go. BARRY: --Beautiful-day-to-fly. POLLEN-JOCK: --Sure-is. BARRY: Between-you-and-me #I-was-dying-to-get-out-of-that-office. (Barry-recreates-the-scene-near-the-beginning-of-the-movie-where-he-flies through-the-box-kite.-The-movie-fades-to-black-and-the-credits-being) [--after-credits;-No-scene-can-be-seen-but-the-characters-can-be-heard talking-over-the-credits--] You-have-got to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend! -: --Thinking-bee! --Me? BARRY: (Talking-over-singer) Hold-it.-Let's-just-stop for-a-second.-Hold-it. -: I'm-sorry.-I'm-sorry #everyone. Can-we-stop-here? SINGER: Oh #BarryBARRY: I'm-not-making-a-major-life-decision during-a-production-number! SINGER: All-right.-Take-ten #everybody. Wrap-it-up #guys. BARRY: I-had-virtually-no-rehearsal-for-that.

   #scriptscombeemoviebyjerryseinfeldnarratorblackscreenwithtextthesoundofbuzzingbeescanbeheardaccordingtoallknownlawsofaviation #thereisnowayabeeshouldbeabletoflyitswingsaretoosmalltogetitsfatlittlebodyoffthegroundthebee #ofcourse #fliesanywaybecausebeesdontcarewhathumansthinkisimpossiblebarrybensonbarryispickingoutashirtyellow #blackyellow #blackooh
2. 

   Tangled Bank Foraging and Fibre Crafts @[email protected] · 2026-04-10 · 11:56 UTC

   Going with the Flo

   I’m still wearing a mask in 2026. In part it’s because of the inconvenience getting sick causes, making me fall behind in my weekday job and potentially lose money if I have to cancel my weekend craft courses. In part it’s because if I have to in a crumbling empire in a cyberpunk dystopia I feel I should at least be allowed to dress like it. But mostly I wear one because I’m furious that we have apparently collectively as a society decided that the ability of people with medical vulnerabilities to participate in public life is not worth the miniscule effort it would take to wear one. I am furious that we seem to have decided certain lives not worth protecting for the sake of the economy. I am furious that we as a society seem I am furious that we ended up in a situation where the government decided saving the hospitality industry was worth a second covid wave that caused 87,000 deaths. I am furious that the pandemic could have been a portal to a world where where we recognised that protecting and valuing one another was the most important thing we could do as a species, and instead we preferred a return to normal which we continue to justify by pretending its worst effects never happened and the people they happened to don’t matter.

   I don’t want that world. I want one where we protect each other, where we reject the eugenicist framing that some disabled people are too inconvenient to protect and say every life is as valuable as every other. I’d say I was radicalised by the pandemic, but to be radicalised doesn’t have to require overthrowing the government or burning the system to the ground. Literally all you have to do is wear a small piece of plastic on your face. I don’t understand why that’s seen as such a huge demand.

   Poster available as a free download from Grae Salisbury.

   I also want to protect my own health. It really shouldn’t need saying but here we are, catching infectious diseases is bad for you. There seems to be an emerging contrarian idea out there that infections are good for you, and that making your body work to fight a disease is the same process as strengthening a muscle by making it work harder. But muscles respond to exercise signals like this in a carefully coordinated system designed by evolution to make the body work more efficiently. A better analogy for infectious disease is a the unplanned, uncoordinated damage of a wound. If you’re lucky wounded skin will heal to be just as functional as it was before the injury. If you’re unlucky you will be left with a scar that may be less flexible or less sensitive than undamaged skin, or may be more fragile and vulnerable to future injury. But there is no scenario in which wounded skin will heal to perform better than skin that has not been damaged.

   When you get an infection viruses or bacteria hijack the cells of your body to proliferate in, ultimately destroying them. they may also release substances that cause further damage elsewhere. Your body’s own immune system may also overreact a scorched earth tactic, destroying the infected tissue to prevent the infection from spreading, and may become primed to overreact in future. Replaced the abstract terms cells or tissues with you blood vessels, lung lining or brain and you can see why getting infections is not healthy. Repeated infections may train your immune system to respond to the pathogen a bit faster the next time around, but the damage is still done along the way. It’s far safer to get vaccinated, teaching immune systems to recognise the pathogens without the damage to the body infections cause.

   XKCD 2557

   Most people without underlying health conditions will regain the same level of health as they had before an infectious disease like covid or flu over a period that can vary from weeks to months, but some will not. Two million people in England and Scotland, a hundred thousand of them children, are estimated to be living with the post-viral condition long covid and the official government response to this seems to be to pretend that they’re making it up. That is an astounding too of human suffering, physical, psychological and financial due to the lack of support people who can no longer work are receiving. And for political leaders who prefer to think in terms of economic costs than human wellbeing, it is estimated that long covid will cost OECD economies up to $135 billion a year over the next decade due to people leaving the workforce, lower productivity, and healthcare costs.

   We are living in time of interconnected crises, where the damage done to our biosphere by the last century or so of industrial civilisation is increasingly outpacing our planet’s ability to absorb it and the highest human population in history is increasingly vulnerable to its impacts. Our political leadership seems to be turning away from the idea we need to protect one another, slashing budgets for public health both in country and aid programs to the wider world in spite of the fact that diseases don’t respect borders. While the UK isn’t far behind the US is one of the worst offenders here, with a leadership that seems ideologically opposed to disease control. Unfortunately it is also the worst country imaginable to deliberately sabotage its public health infrastructure, being unique globally in having a large population who lack access to healthcare among whom disease can spread but who can still afford to travel widely both nationally and internationally, importing and exporting pathogens freely. Add to this a network of vast industrial factory farms full of stressed vulnerable animals and you have the perfect breeding ground for future pandemics .

   The good news is that the vast majority of people want to help each other and do the right thing. The bad news is that we humans are pretty awful at working out what the right thing is, which is why we have a climate crisis and why people think the most helpful thing we can do about it is recycling and changing lightbulbs rather than reducing flights, car journeys and meat consumption. We tend to take the mental shortcuts of assuming the correct course of action is what we see the people around us or the people we look up around us doing. We stop masking when everyone else on the bus is no longer wearing a mask; when celebrities and influencers act as though covid is over. And when our political “leaders” hypocritically flout the rules they impose, we tend to follow their example.

   There are sound psychological reasons for this – throughout most of our evolutionary history, doing what the people around us were doing or what the people who looked to be successful were doing was a good way to survive. If everyone else in your tribe is avoiding the scorpions it’s probably a good idea to do so too even if you haven’t independently tested how much their sting hurts. If the impressive spearfisher who always hauls back a huge catch is going to the south side of the bay not the north side you’d probably be best off following her rather than wasting time testing the fishing in every spot for yourself. But the world has changed, or rather we have changed our world, and the strategies that worked best for most of our history may not work so well anymore. We can’t afford those cognitive shortcuts anymore, we have to be better than our leaders.

   Which mask to wear

   We have the technology to reduce the transmission of airborne infections in public spaces like schools, offices and nurseries through air filtration but have chosen instead to put the responsibility on individuals to protect themselves. Air purifiers with HEPA filters that remove virus particles (as well as allergens and pollutants) from the air have been shown to dramatically reduce the transmission of infections in schools, yet schools are rejecting offers of donated air purifiers because they feel they are unnecessary. No one would accept the idea that instead of removing pathogens from our drinking water we expected everyone to carry around Life Straws at work or when eating out, but this is the attitude we take to clean air.

   By now the evidence is pretty conclusive that the most effective type of mask is the N95 (US) or FFP2 (European), also called a respirator in some places, which doesn’t just filter but attracts airborne virus particles using electrostatic charges. While valved masks protect the wearer from virus particles in inhaled air they do nothing to protect passers-by from any viruses in exhalations so should be avoided. Surgical masks and cloth masks trap droplets containing virus particles but are less effective against free floating virus particles, and surgical masks do so more effectively than cloth masks. So the order off effectiveness is N95/FFP2 > surgical > cloth, with the caveat that a well fitted cloth one say will be better than a gappy N95. There’s a helpful guide to how to find the best mask for your face shape here.

   HOWEVER any mask is better than no mask! We are more likely to get masking to a population level where it would have an impact on disease transmission if everyone wears whatever they can, because a majority of people using cloth masks is going to be more helpful than 1% of people wearing perfectly fit tested N95s.

   So given the above why isn’t everyone wearing an N95/FFP2? Everyone’s risk calculus and the weight they put on different costs and benefits is going to be different. For a start N95/FFP2s may not be available in many majority world countries. Here in the UK the best source of the widest variety of masks is probably The Facemask Store. They are also expensive single use or at least limited use items (I am aware many disabled people struggling to survive in a country that seems to have decided their existence is a luxury we can’t afford are reusing them more than is recommended).

   Cloth masks on the other hand are infinitely reusable and everyone probably still has some about the house from the early stages of the pandemic. Surgical masks seem in many ways to be the worst of all possible worlds, combining the lower effectiveness of cloth masks with the environmental and cost issues of disposables, but I am aware that some people find them most comfortable. For those who need the most effective masks available but struggle to afford them it’s worth checking if you have a local Mask Bloc which distributes masks and potentially other types of PPE and healthcare supplies. Alternatively if you have money going spare consider supporting your local Mask Bloc if you can!

   Disposable masks are also more environmentally damaging than washable cloth masks, made of single use plastic and packaged in single use plastic. Up to 15 trillion face masks are estimated to be used globally every year, resulting in 2 megatons of waste. Here your cost benefit weighting is obviously going to depend on your estimate of your degree of vulnerability – if you’re wearing a mask mostly to protect yourself you’ll want the most effective one possible, but if you’re trying to avoid harm to others you have to weigh infection harm against environmental harm. And unfortunately although solutions like feeding plastics to insects make good headlines it would take 100 mealworms four and a half months to consume a single facemask so it’s not really a scalable solution currently.

   Painting by Jo Blakely, shared free to re use.

   I tried to navigate this by wearing different masks in different situations. I personally don’t judge myself to be particularly vulnerable, so am primarily wearing a mask to protect others, but I’d still like to avoid getting ill as much as possible. I started out by wearing a cloth mask for cost, comfort and environmental reasons in everyday situations like shopping, day to day commuting or meetings with colleagues, but wearing an FFP2 mask if I was in any way ill. I also wear an FFP2 when the data for respiratory infections suggest they’re high or rising rapidly. You can follow a good weekly summary of the status of Covid and other respiratory infections in the the UK here, compiled with data from the UK national flu and COVID-19 surveillance reports. I also wear an FFP2 wherever I’m with a lot of other people in an area of poor ventilation, like long train journeys, conferences, gigs etc and after coming back from a situation like this until I’m sure I haven’t picked anything nasty up. Finally I started wearing an FFP2 mask in the run up to events I couldn’t afford to miss by getting ill, like family celebrations, conferences, teaching booking or blood donation appointments.

   As is probably becoming apparent, the proportion of the time I wear a reusable cloth mask has been steadily decreasing but I was feeling guilty about the amount of plastic waste my N95/FFP2 habit was generating. It was time to find a better option.

   The Flo mask

   I’d seen more and more people on Mastodon talking about the Flo Mask, and shortly after reading this positive review their European site had a sale so I decided to take the plunge.

   Adult Flo masks come in two sizes, 1 for people with lower nose bridge (most common for those of Asian, Pacific Islander, and African heritage) and 2 for people with higher nose bridges (most common for people of European and Hispanic heritage). If you’re not sure which category you fall into there’s a printable measuring tool on their website. There is a disclaimer on their website that the masks won’t fit 10% of the population with particularly narrow or Roman noses. I was on the edge of too narrow but just made it, and having sympathised with friends of East Asian or West African heritage struggling to find outdoor clothing sized for their bodies I find it quite refreshing that the default body size and shape used for design that might not accommodate people of other ethnicities isn’t European for a change.

   I do have to say that the mask body is pretty expensive, costing £68 at the time of writing for an adult model. A 50 pack of replacement filters costs £46, compared to around £9-£10 for a pack of disposables from The Facemask Store, and in another “Brexit bonus” postage from Ireland is about £14. The postage estimate incidentally said seven days but it took slightly over two weeks, so just be aware of this if you’re hoping to get one for a specific date. Delivery also requires a signature, which I didn’t realise – had I known I would have had it delivered to my work rather than home address.

   This is a huge expense even with the replacement filters coming free on the two for one deal and I realise that I am very privileged to be able to pay it. Masks can be a significant expense for many, and infectious diseases are often more of a threat to those in poverty who can least afford them and are likely to be living, working and commuting in more crowded conditions. Like the fact that it is now necessary for most people in the to pay nearly £100 for covid vaccination, the shifting of the costs of public health health protect is not only a short-termist economic own goal it’s an ideological rejection of the idea that we have an obligation to protect those more vulnerable than us in society. This is why I feel it’s incumbent upon those of us who can afford to take disease control measures to do so, even if it shouldn’t be an individual responsibility in the first place.

   I took it out of the packet, put it on for the first time, and my wife burst out laughing and said I looked like Bain. Needless to say this was not a reaction I particularly wanted from someone I would like to find me attractive, and it also made me worried that the mask could look intimidating. I teach various heritage crafts and skills at indoor events and wouldn’t want my mask to put potential customers off. I’ll explain what I tried to do about this after reviewing the mask itself.

   The positives

   First of all the Flo Mask is initially and for short periods of time the most comfortable mask I’ve ever worn. Some issues do arise in the longer term, which I’ll discuss in the next section, but the double back of the head strap is far more comfortable than ear loops even using ear savers and the silicone mask back conforms to the shape of my face perfectly. The mask is supplied with a ring of black foam padding but I took that out because it just seemed to fall out and flop about annoyingly inside, and even without it it’s perfectly comfortable. It produces a perfect seal to my face too with no fogging of my glasses, and the stretchiness of the straps make it easy to pull the mask away from my face briefly without taking it off completely to take sips of water. Straps snapping off the body when I tried to do this was one of the main problems I had with disposable masks breaking.

   Although Flo Masks still use single use disposable filters which come in plastic packaging, they use less single use material overall than the disposable masks I had been using, containing half as much filter material, and not requiring a metal nose wire and elastic straps to be thrown away every time. They also score highly on the sustainability front by selling replacement parts like straps and pegs individually, so if one tiny component breaks you don’t need to replace the entire mask.

   The negatives

   I’m going to start by saying the issues I have encountered probably have more to do with my personal life circumstances and others may not experience them. They also don’t outweigh the many advantages of the mask outlined above. However something I have really struggled with in comparison to the more permeable disposable FFP2 masks is how sweaty the Flo mask gets in hot conditions, both inside the mask and where the silicone touches my face. I will say that I’m probably using it in hotter conditions than most users – I commute on trains that aren’t air conditioned and work in a greenhouse and in an office in a British University building constructed in the 1960s before the climate warmed. I also do a lot of walking and cycling to get around so my base body temperature may be a bit higher than average. But I have really struggled with how wet the inside of the mask gets.

   The interior of the mask after a half hour journey on a hot train.

   I have also found that, presumably because of slight static charge, the silicone face rest is an absolute magnet for fluff and cat hair which can get quite itchy. Both of these issues mean I’m having to wash the back of the mask much more frequently than I expected to, which is a little disappointing as the filters are rated for 40 hours of use so I was hoping I could get about a week’s wear out of them to save money and waste but am instead having to change them every day or two when I take the mask apart to wash it. The back part is at least easy to clean with warm water and washing up liquid, and I’ve found a Swedish Glace ice cream tub is the perfect size to do it in. Washing the mask after getting home from work and then leaving it on the draining board overnight means it dries by the next morning.

   Solving the Bain problem

   In order to try and make the mask look less utilitarian and intimidating I decided to paint flowers on the detachable front piece using acrylic paint pens. I recently decorated my headphones this way, but although they looked good at first the paint quickly started to chip off and I didn’t want that to happen with my mask. After consulting with my friends who paint wargame miniatures and/or tiny trains I discovered that you need to use primer to ensure acrylic paint sticks to plastic, so that was my first step.

   There is a stage of every new craft project where you think “Oh God I’ve made a horrible mistake!” and this was it for me, when I could smell the solvents from the primer for the rest of the evening on this thing I was planning to wear in front of my nose. Fortunately the smell did completely dissipate by the next morning.

   This was the finished object which I think came out rather well. Sunflowers are my favourite flowers and I love daisies and forget-me-nots too.

   Incidentally I’m not the first person to have had the idea to decorate my Flo Mask – the creator of this Instagram video used temporary tattoos and I could see a lot of scope for using stickers, decoupage or washi tape. Some people have also 3D printed accessories to clip on. When I can afford it I’m very tempted to get some more front covers to experiment with.

   https://www.instagram.com/p/DBMbSg0Sui_/

   Reactions to my mask

   I have had a few hostile reactions to masking in the past, although the impression I get is what we experience in the UK is nothing compared to what people are getting in the US. In the decades to come I’m sure hundreds of theses will be written on how mask wearing, the most effective intervention we have against respiratory infections, has become so politicised that it has now been banned in parts of the US and widely ignored elsewhere. Let’s just say that I now understand how there was so much pushback against the idea of handwashing in medical settings when it was first proposed.

   I haven’t so far had any negative responses to wearing my Flo Mask. I have had a few people staring on public transport, but honestly at this point I’m a flight free, car free vegan who doesn’t shave her body hair and was dopamine dressing before it had a name, I’m used to being a bit out of step with the rest of society. There’s a Quaker saying along the lines of not letting the fear of being seen as peculiar stop you from doing what’s right, and I have always lived my life that way without really consciously trying.

   I do worry a little that my wearing a mask makes it seem like something only odd people do, rather than normalising it for everyone, but let’s face it I’m not any sort of trendsetter or influencer. I get about 20 views on your average post. If I’m lucky someone shares it and that goes up by an order of magnitude, if I’m extremely lucky wasn’t some idiot ranting about wokeness who shared it. To maximise my reach I should probably be breaking these ideas down into bitesized chunks and making 30 second videos of me dancing while sharing them, but frankly that sounds exhausting and anyway the dancing thing was probably about three centuries ago in TikTok time and is now cringe. Maybe the word cringe is itself now cringe. And I should probably stop this line of thinking now or I’ll start reminiscing about the early days of the web when information was mostly shared in good faith and not seen as a revenue stream (on the small part of the web not dedicated to porn anyway), and then I’ll start lamenting the demise of RSS and at that point frankly you may as well put me to bed with a nice warm (oat) milky drink.

   I hope that if you have stopped wearing a mask in places without much air exchange this post has made you at least consider starting again, whatever type of mask you might choose.

   #ableism #animalAgriculture #antivaxxers #birdFlu #covid #disabilty #facemasks #flu #H5N1 #localFood #longCovid #mpox #pandemic #plasticPollution #polycrisis #reviews #singleUse #UKPolitics #USPolitics #vaccines #waste

   #ableism #animalagriculture #antivaxxers #birdflu #covid #disabilty
3. 

   Philip Mallis 🇺🇦 @[email protected] · 2025-01-08 · 07:36 UTC

   It's coming up to a month since this escalator broke - the only one coming down from Box Hill Bus Station.

   The only alternative route is much longer, down a poorly-lit and unpleasant staircase, or in a tiny and slow lift.

   Thousands of people use this bus interchange every day and even when everything is working it's a pretty poor passenger experience. When things like this do break at a major stop like this one it's essential to fix it with the haste it deserves.

   #MelbourneBuses #BoxHill #Melbourne #Transit #PublicTransport

   #melbournebuses #boxhill #melbourne #transit #publictransport
4. 

   Gabbo the wafrn dev guy @[email protected] · 2023-10-17 · 11:26 UTC

   ok here we go

   #Scripts.com Bee-Movie By-Jerry-Seinfeld NARRATOR: (Black-screen-with-text;-The-sound-of-buzzing-bees-can-be-heard) According-to-all-known-laws of-aviation #: there-is-no-way-a-bee should-be-able-to-fly. -: Its-wings-are-too-small-to-get its-fat-little-body-off-the-ground. -: The-bee #of-course #flies-anyway -: because-bees-don't-care what-humans-think-is-impossible. BARRY-BENSON: (Barry-is-picking-out-a-shirt) Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. -: Ooh #black-and-yellow! Let's-shake-it-up-a-little. JANET-BENSON: Barry!-Breakfast-is-ready! BARRY: Coming! -: Hang-on-a-second. (Barry-uses-his-antenna-like-a-phone) -: Hello? ADAM-FLAYMAN: (Through-phone) --Barry? BARRY: --Adam? ADAM: --Can-you-believe-this-is-happening? BARRY: --I-can't.-I'll-pick-you-up. (Barry-flies-down-the-stairs) -: MARTIN-BENSON: Looking-sharp. JANET: Use-the-stairs.-Your-father paid-good-money-for-those. BARRY: Sorry.-I'm-excited. MARTIN: Here's-the-graduate. We're-very-proud-of-you #son. -: A-perfect-report-card #all-B's. JANET: Very-proud. (Rubs-Barry's-hair) BARRY= Ma!-I-got-a-thing-going-here. JANET: --You-got-lint-on-your-fuzz. BARRY: --Ow!-That's-me! JANET: --Wave-to-us!-We'll-be-in-row-118 #000. --Bye! (Barry-flies-out-the-door) JANET: Barry #I-told-you #stop-flying-in-the-house! (Barry-drives-through-the-hive #and-is-waved-at-by-Adam-who-is-reading-a newspaper) BARRY== --Hey #Adam. ADAM: --Hey #Barry. (Adam-gets-in-Barry's-car) -: --Is-that-fuzz-gel? BARRY: --A-little.-Special-day #graduation. ADAM: Never-thought-I'd-make-it. (Barry-pulls-away-from-the-house-and-continues-driving) BARRY: Three-days-grade-school #three-days-high-school... ADAM: Those-were-awkward. BARRY: Three-days-college.-I'm-glad-I-took a-day-and-hitchhiked-around-the-hive. ADAM== You-did-come-back-different. (Barry-and-Adam-pass-by-Artie #who-is-jogging) ARTIE: --Hi #Barry! BARRY: --Artie #growing-a-mustache?-Looks-good. ADAM: --Hear-about-Frankie? BARRY: --Yeah. ADAM== --You-going-to-the-funeral? BARRY: --No #I'm-not-going-to-his-funeral. -: Everybody-knows #sting-someone #you-die. -: Don't-waste-it-on-a-squirrel. Such-a-hothead. ADAM: I-guess-he-could-have just-gotten-out-of-the-way. (The-car-does-a-barrel-roll-on-the-loop-shaped-bridge-and-lands-on-the highway) -: I-love-this-incorporating an-amusement-park-into-our-regular-day. BARRY: I-guess-that's-why-they-say-we-don't-need-vacations. (Barry-parallel-parks-the-car-and-together-they-fly-over-the-graduating students) Boy #quite-a-bit-of-pomp... under-the-circumstances. (Barry-and-Adam-sit-down-and-put-on-their-hats) -: --Well #Adam #today-we-are-men. ADAM: --We-are! BARRY= --Bee-men. =ADAM= --Amen! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry-and-Adam-both-have-a-happy-spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students #faculty #distinguished-bees #: please-welcome-Dean-Buzzwell. DEAN-BUZZWELL: Welcome #New-Hive-Oity graduating-class-of... -: ...9: -: That-concludes-our-ceremonies. -: And-begins-your-career at-Honex-Industries! ADAM: Will-we-pick-our-job-today? (Adam-and-Barry-get-into-a-tour-bus) BARRY= I-heard-it's-just-orientation. (Tour-buses-rise-out-of-the-ground-and-the-students-are-automatically loaded-into-the-buses) TOUR-GUIDE: Heads-up!-Here-we-go. ANNOUNCER: Keep-your-hands-and-antennas inside-the-tram-at-all-times. BARRY: --Wonder-what-it'll-be-like? ADAM: --A-little-scary. TOUR-GUIDE== Welcome-to-Honex #a-division-of-Honesco -: and-a-part-of-the-Hexagon-Group. Barry: This-is-it! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The-bus-drives-down-a-road-an-on-either-side-are-the-Bee's-massive complicated-Honey-making-machines) TOUR-GUIDE: We-know-that-you #as-a-bee #have-worked-your-whole-life -: to-get-to-the-point-where-you can-work-for-your-whole-life. -: Honey-begins-when-our-valiant-Pollen Jocks-bring-the-nectar-to-the-hive. -: Our-top-secret-formula -: is-automatically-color-corrected #scent-adjusted-and-bubble-contoured -: into-this-soothing-sweet-syrup -: with-its-distinctive golden-glow-you-know-as... EVERYONE-ON-BUS: Honey! (The-guide-has-been-collecting-honey-into-a-bottle-and-she-throws-it-into the-crowd-on-the-bus-and-it-is-caught-by-a-girl-in-the-back) ADAM: --That-girl-was-hot. BARRY: --She's-my-cousin! ADAM== --She-is? BARRY: --Yes #we're-all-cousins. ADAM: --Right.-You're-right. TOUR-GUIDE: --At-Honex #we-constantly-strive -: to-improve-every-aspect of-bee-existence. -: These-bees-are-stress-testing a-new-helmet-technology. (The-bus-passes-by-a-Bee-wearing-a-helmet-who-is-being-smashed-into-the ground-with-fly-swatters #newspapers-and-boots.-He-lifts-a-thumbs-up-but you-can-hear-him-groan) -: ADAM== --What-do-you-think-he-makes? BARRY: --Not-enough. TOUR-GUIDE: Here-we-have-our-latest-advancement #the-Krelman. (They-pass-by-a-turning-wheel-with-Bees-standing-on-pegs #who-are-each wearing-a-finger-shaped-hat) Barry: --Wow #What-does-that-do? TOUR-GUIDE: --Catches-that-little-strand-of-honey -: that-hangs-after-you-pour-it. Saves-us-millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can-anyone-work-on-the-Krelman? TOUR-GUIDE: Of-course.-Most-bee-jobs-are small-ones. But-bees-know-that-every-small-job #if-it's-done-well #means-a-lot. -: But-choose-carefully -: because-you'll-stay-in-the-job you-pick-for-the-rest-of-your-life. (Everyone-claps-except-for-Barry) BARRY: The-same-job-the-rest-of-your-life? I-didn't-know-that. ADAM: What's-the-difference? TOUR-GUIDE: You'll-be-happy-to-know-that-bees #as-a-species #haven't-had-one-day-off -: in-27-million-years. BARRY: (Upset) So-you'll-just-work-us-to-death? -: We'll-sure-try. (Everyone-on-the-bus-laughs-except-Barry.-Barry-and-Adam-are-walking-back home-together) ADAM: Wow!-That-blew-my-mind! BARRY: 'What's-the-difference?' How-can-you-say-that? -: One-job-forever? That's-an-insane-choice-to-have-to-make. ADAM: I'm-relieved.-Now-we-only-have to-make-one-decision-in-life. BARRY: But #Adam #how-could-they never-have-told-us-that? ADAM: Why-would-you-question-anything? We're-bees. -: We're-the-most-perfectly functioning-society-on-Earth. BARRY: You-ever-think-maybe-things work-a-little-too-well-here? ADAM: Like-what?-Give-me-one-example. (Barry-and-Adam-stop-walking-and-it-is-revealed-to-the-audience-that hundreds-of-cars-are-speeding-by-and-narrowly-missing-them-in-perfect unison) BARRY: I-don't-know.-But-you-know what-I'm-talking-about. ANNOUNCER: Please-clear-the-gate. Royal-Nectar-Force-on-approach. BARRY: Wait-a-second.-Check-it-out. (The-Pollen-jocks-fly-in #circle-around-and-landing-in-line) -: --Hey #those-are-Pollen-Jocks! ADAM: --Wow. -: I've-never-seen-them-this-close. BARRY: They-know-what-it's-like outside-the-hive. ADAM: Yeah #but-some-don't-come-back. GIRL-BEES: --Hey #Jocks! --Hi #Jocks! (The-Pollen-Jocks-hook-up-their-backpacks-to-machines-that-pump-the-nectar to-trucks #which-drive-away) LOU-LO-DUVA: You-guys-did-great! -: You're-monsters! You're-sky-freaks! I-love-it! (Punching-the-Pollen-Jocks-in-joy) I-love-it! ADAM: --I-wonder-where-they-were. BARRY: --I-don't-know. -: Their-day's-not-planned. -: Outside-the-hive #flying-who-knows where #doing-who-knows-what. -: You-can't-just-decide-to-be-a-Pollen Jock.-You-have-to-be-bred-for-that. ADAM== Right. (Barry-and-Adam-are-covered-in-some-pollen-that-floated-off-of-the-Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look-at-that.-That's-more-pollen than-you-and-I-will-see-in-a-lifetime. ADAM: It's-just-a-status-symbol. Bees-make-too-much-of-it. BARRY: Perhaps.-Unless-you're-wearing-it and-the-ladies-see-you-wearing-it. (Barry-waves-at-2-girls-standing-a-little-away-from-them) ADAM== Those-ladies? Aren't-they-our-cousins-too? BARRY: Distant.-Distant. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Look-at-these-two. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Couple-of-Hive-Harrys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --Let's-have-fun-with-them. GIRL-BEE-#1: It-must-be-dangerous being-a-Pollen-Jock. BARRY: Yeah.-Once-a-bear-pinned-me against-a-mushroom! -: He-had-a-paw-on-my-throat #and-with-the-other #he-was-slapping-me! (Slaps-Adam-with-his-hand-to-represent-his-scenario) GIRL-BEE-#2: --Oh #my! BARRY: --I-never-thought-I'd-knock-him-out. GIRL-BEE-#1: (Looking-at-Adam) What-were-you-doing-during-this? ADAM: Obviously-I-was-trying-to-alert-the-authorities. BARRY: I-can-autograph-that. (The-pollen-jocks-walk-up-to-Barry-and-Adam #they-pretend-that-Barry-and Adam-really-are-pollen-jocks.) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: A-little-gusty-out-there-today #wasn't-it #comrades? BARRY: Yeah.-Gusty. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-hitting-a-sunflower-patch six-miles-from-here-tomorrow. BARRY: --Six-miles #huh? ADAM: --Barry! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: A-puddle-jump-for-us #but-maybe-you're-not-up-for-it. BARRY: --Maybe-I-am. ADAM: --You-are-not! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-going-0900-at-J-Gate. -: What-do-you-think #buzzy-boy? Are-you-bee-enough? BARRY: I-might-be.-It-all-depends on-what-0900-means. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-looking-out-on-the-hive-city-from-his-balcony-at night) MARTIN: Hey #Honex! BARRY: Dad #you-surprised-me. MARTIN: You-decide-what-you're-interested-in? BARRY: --Well #there's-a-lot-of-choices. --But-you-only-get-one. -: Do-you-ever-get-bored doing-the-same-job-every-day? MARTIN: Son #let-me-tell-you-about-stirring. -: You-grab-that-stick #and-you-just move-it-around #and-you-stir-it-around. -: You-get-yourself-into-a-rhythm. It's-a-beautiful-thing. BARRY: You-know #Dad #the-more-I-think-about-it #: maybe-the-honey-field just-isn't-right-for-me. MARTIN: You-were-thinking-of-what #making-balloon-animals? -: That's-a-bad-job for-a-guy-with-a-stinger. -: Janet #your-son's-not-sure he-wants-to-go-into-honey! JANET: --Barry #you-are-so-funny-sometimes. BARRY: --I'm-not-trying-to-be-funny. MARTIN: You're-not-funny!-You're-going into-honey.-Our-son #the-stirrer! JANET: --You're-gonna-be-a-stirrer? BARRY: --No-one's-listening-to-me! MARTIN: Wait-till-you-see-the-sticks-I-have. BARRY: I-could-say-anything-right-now. I'm-gonna-get-an-ant-tattoo! (Barry's-parents-don't-listen-to-him-and-continue-to-ramble-on) MARTIN: Let's-open-some-honey-and-celebrate! BARRY: Maybe-I'll-pierce-my-thorax. Shave-my-antennae. -: Shack-up-with-a-grasshopper.-Get a-gold-tooth-and-call-everybody-'dawg'! JANET: I'm-so-proud. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-and-Adam-waiting-in-line-to-get-a-job) ADAM: --We're-starting-work-today! BARRY: --Today's-the-day. ADAM: Come-on!-All-the-good-jobs will-be-gone. BARRY: Yeah #right. JOB-LISTER: Pollen-counting #stunt-bee #pouring #stirrer #front-desk #hair-removal... BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Is-it-still-available? JOB-LISTER: --Hang-on.-Two-left! -: One-of-them's-yours!-Congratulations! Step-to-the-side. ADAM: --What'd-you-get? BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Picking-crud-out.-Stellar! (He-walks-away) ADAM: Wow! JOB-LISTER: Couple-of-newbies? ADAM: Yes #sir!-Our-first-day!-We-are-ready! JOB-LISTER: Make-your-choice. (Adam-and-Barry-look-up-at-the-job-board.-There-are-hundreds-of-constantly changing-panels-that-contain-available-or-unavailable-jobs.-It-looks-very confusing) ADAM: --You-want-to-go-first? BARRY: --No #you-go. ADAM: Oh #my.-What's-available? JOB-LISTER: Restroom-attendant's-open #not-for-the-reason-you-think. ADAM: --Any-chance-of-getting-the-Krelman? JOB-LISTER: --Sure #you're-on. (Puts-the-Krelman-finger-hat-on-Adam's-head) (Suddenly-the-sign-for-Krelman-closes-out) -: I'm-sorry #the-Krelman-just-closed-out. (Takes-Adam's-hat-off) Wax-monkey's-always-open. ADAM: The-Krelman-opened-up-again. -: What-happened? JOB-LISTER: A-bee-died.-Makes-an-opening.-See? He's-dead.-Another-dead-one. -: Deady.-Deadified.-Two-more-dead. -: Dead-from-the-neck-up. Dead-from-the-neck-down.-That's-life! ADAM: Oh #this-is-so-hard! (Barry-remembers-what-the-Pollen-Jock-offered-him-and-he-flies-off) Heating #cooling #stunt-bee #pourer #stirrer #: humming #inspector-number-seven #lint-coordinator #stripe-supervisor #: mite-wrangler.-Barry #what do-you-think-I-should...-Barry? (Adam-turns-around-and-sees-Barry-flying-away) -: Barry! POLLEN-JOCK: All-right #we've-got-the-sunflower-patch in-quadrant-nine... ADAM: (Through-phone) What-happened-to-you? Where-are-you? BARRY: --I'm-going-out. ADAM: --Out?-Out-where? BARRY: --Out-there. ADAM: --Oh #no! BARRY: I-have-to #before-I-go to-work-for-the-rest-of-my-life. ADAM: You're-gonna-die!-You're-crazy! (Barry-hangs-up) Hello? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Another-call-coming-in. -: If-anyone's-feeling-brave #there's-a-Korean-deli-on-83rd -: that-gets-their-roses-today. BARRY: Hey #guys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1-== --Look-at-that. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Isn't-that-the-kid-we-saw-yesterday? LOU-LO-DUVA: Hold-it #son #flight-deck's-restricted. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: It's-OK #Lou.-We're-gonna-take-him-up. (Puts-hand-on-Barry's-shoulder) LOU-LO-DUVA: (To-Barry)-Really?-Feeling-lucky #are-you? BEE-WITH-CLIPBOARD: (To-Barry)-Sign-here #here.-Just-initial-that. -: --Thank-you. LOU-LO-DUVA: --OK. -: You-got-a-rain-advisory-today #: and-as-you-all-know #bees-cannot-fly-in-rain. -: So-be-careful.-As-always #watch-your-brooms #: hockey-sticks #dogs #birds #bears-and-bats. -: Also #I-got-a-couple-of-reports of-root-beer-being-poured-on-us. -: Murphy's-in-a-home-because-of-it #babbling-like-a-cicada! BARRY: --That's-awful. LOU-LO-DUVA: (Still-talking-through-megaphone) --And-a-reminder-for-you-rookies #: bee-law-number-one #absolutely-no-talking-to-humans! -: All-right #launch-positions! POLLEN-JOCKS: (The-Pollen-Jocks-run-into-formation) -: Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz! LOU-LU-DUVA: Black-and-yellow! POLLEN-JOCKS: Hello! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (To-Barry)You-ready-for-this #hot-shot? BARRY: Yeah.-Yeah #bring-it-on. POLLEN-JOCK's: Wind #check. -: --Antennae #check. --Nectar-pack #check. -: --Wings #check. --Stinger #check. BARRY: Scared-out-of-my-shorts #check. LOU-LO-DUVA: OK #ladies #: let's-move-it-out! -: Pound-those-petunias #you-striped-stem-suckers! -: All-of-you #drain-those-flowers! (The-pollen-jocks-fly-out-of-the-hive) BARRY: Wow!-I'm-out! -: I-can't-believe-I'm-out! -: So-blue. -: I-feel-so-fast-and-free! -: Box-kite! (Barry-flies-through-the-kite) -: Wow! -: Flowers! (A-pollen-jock-puts-on-some-high-tech-goggles-that-shows-flowers-similar-to heat-sink-goggles.) POLLEN-JOCK: This-is-Blue-Leader. We-have-roses-visual. -: Bring-it-around-30-degrees-and-hold. -: Roses! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: 30-degrees #roger.-Bringing-it-around. -: Stand-to-the-side #kid. It's-got-a-bit-of-a-kick. (The-pollen-jock-fires-a-high-tech-gun-at-the-flower #shooting-tubes-that suck-up-the-nectar-from-the-flower-and-collects-it-into-a-pouch-on-the-gun) BARRY: That-is-one-nectar-collector! POLLEN-JOCK-#1== --Ever-see-pollination-up-close? BARRY: --No #sir. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Barry-and-the-Pollen-jock-fly-over-the-field #the-pollen-jock-sprinkles pollen-as-he-goes) -: I-pick-up-some-pollen-here #sprinkle-it over-here.-Maybe-a-dash-over-there #: a-pinch-on-that-one. See-that?-It's-a-little-bit-of-magic. BARRY: That's-amazing.-Why-do-we-do-that? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: That's-pollen-power.-More-pollen #more flowers #more-nectar #more-honey-for-us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: I'm-picking-up-a-lot-of-bright-yellow. could-be-daisies.-Don't-we-need-those? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Copy-that-visual. -: Wait.-One-of-these-flowers seems-to-be-on-the-move. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Say-again?-You're-reporting a-moving-flower? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Affirmative. (The-Pollen-jocks-land-near-the-'flowers'-which #to-the-audience-are obviously-just-tennis-balls) KEN: (In-the-distance)-That-was-on-the-line! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: This-is-the-coolest.-What-is-it? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-know #but-I'm-loving-this-color. -: It-smells-good. Not-like-a-flower #but-I-like-it. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Yeah #fuzzy. (Sticks-his-hand-on-the-ball-but-it-gets-stuck) POLLEN-JOCK-#3== Chemical-y. (The-pollen-jock-finally-gets-his-hand-free-from-the-tennis-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Careful #guys.-It's-a-little-grabby. (The-pollen-jocks-turn-around-and-see-Barry-lying-his-entire-body-on-top-of one-of-the-tennis-balls) POLLEN-JOCK-#2: My-sweet-lord-of-bees! POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Candy-brain #get-off-there! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Pointing-upwards) Problem! (A-human-hand-reaches-down-and-grabs-the-tennis-ball-that-Barry-is-stuck to) BARRY: --Guys! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --This-could-be-bad. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Affirmative. (Vanessa-Bloome-starts-bouncing-the-tennis-ball #not-knowing-Barry-is-stick to-it) BARRY== Very-close. -: Gonna-hurt. -: Mama's-little-boy. (Barry-is-being-hit-back-and-forth-by-two-humans-playing-tennis.-He-is still-stuck-to-the-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: You-are-way-out-of-position #rookie! KEN: Coming-in-at-you-like-a-MISSILE! (Barry-flies-past-the-pollen-jocks #still-stuck-to-the-ball) BARRY: (In-slow-motion) Help-me! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-think-these-are-flowers. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: --Should-we-tell-him? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --I-think-he-knows. BARRY: What-is-this?! KEN: Match-point! -: You-can-start-packing-up #honey #because-you're-about-to-EAT-IT! (A-pollen-jock-coughs-which-confused-Ken-and-he-hits-the-ball-the-wrong-way with-Barry-stuck-to-it-and-it-goes-flying-into-the-city) BARRY: Yowser! (Barry-bounces-around-town-and-gets-stuck-in-the-engine-of-a-car.-He-flies into-the-air-conditioner-and-sees-a-bug-that-was-frozen-in-there) BARRY: Ew #gross. (The-man-driving-the-car-turns-on-the-air-conditioner-which-blows-Barry into-the-car) GIRL-IN-CAR: There's-a-bee-in-the-car! -: --Do-something! DAD-DRIVING-CAR: --I'm-driving! BABY-GIRL: (Waving-at-Barry) --Hi #bee. (Barry-smiles-and-waves-at-the-baby-girl) GUY-IN-BACK-OF-CAR: --He's-back-here! -: He's-going-to-sting-me! GIRL-IN-CAR: Nobody-move.-If-you-don't-move #he-won't-sting-you.-Freeze! (Barry-freezes-as-well #hovering-in-the-middle-of-the-car) -: GRANDMA-IN-CAR== He-blinked! (The-grandma-whips-out-some-bee-spray-and-sprays-everywhere-in-the-car #climbing-into-the-front-seat #still-trying-to-spray-Barry) GIRL-IN-CAR: Spray-him #Granny! DAD-DRIVING-THE-CAR: What-are-you-doing?! (Barry-escapes-the-car-through-the-air-conditioner-and-is-flying-high-above the-ground #safe.) BARRY: Wow...-the-tension-level out-here-is-unbelievable. (Barry-sees-that-storm-clouds-are-gathering-and-he-can-see-rain-clouds moving-into-this-direction) -: I-gotta-get-home. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-rain-drop-hits-Barry-and-one-of-his-wings-is-damaged) -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-second-rain-drop-hits-Barry-again-and-he-spirals-downwards) Mayday!-Mayday!-Bee-going-down! (WW2-plane-sound-effects-are-played-as-he-plummets #and-he-crash-lands-on-a plant-inside-an-apartment-near-the-window) VANESSA-BLOOME: Ken #could-you-close the-window-please? KEN== Hey #check-out-my-new-resume. I-made-it-into-a-fold-out-brochure. -: You-see? (Folds-brochure-resume-out) Folds-out. (Ken-closes-the-window #trapping-Barry-inside) BARRY: Oh #no.-More-humans.-I-don't-need-this. (Barry-tries-to-fly-away-but-smashes-into-the-window-and-falls-again) -: What-was-that? (Barry-keeps-trying-to-fly-out-the-window-but-he-keeps-being-knocked-back because-the-window-is-closed) Maybe-this-time.-This-time.-This-time. This-time!-This-time!-This... -: Drapes! (Barry-taps-the-glass.-He-doesn't-understand-what-it-is) That-is-diabolical. KEN: It's-fantastic.-It's-got-all-my-special skills #even-my-top-ten-favorite-movies. ANDY: What's-number-one?-Star-Wars? KEN: Nah #I-don't-go-for-that... (Ken-makes-finger-guns-and-makes-'pew-pew-pew'-sounds-and-then-stops) -: ...kind-of-stuff. BARRY: No-wonder-we-shouldn't-talk-to-them. They're-out-of-their-minds. KEN: When-I-leave-a-job-interview #they're flabbergasted #can't-believe-what-I-say. BARRY: (Looking-at-the-light-on-the-ceiling) There's-the-sun.-Maybe-that's-a-way-out. (Starts-flying-towards-the-lightbulb) -: I-don't-remember-the-sun having-a-big-75-on-it. (Barry-hits-the-lightbulb-and-falls-into-the-dip-on-the-table-that-the humans-are-sitting-at) KEN: I-predicted-global-warming. -: I-could-feel-it-getting-hotter. At-first-I-thought-it-was-just-me. (Andy-dips-a-chip-into-the-bowl-and-scoops-up-some-dip-with-Barry-on-it-and is-about-to-put-it-in-his-mouth) -: Wait!-Stop!-Bee! (Andy-drops-the-chip-with-Barry-in-fear-and-backs-away.-All-the-humans freak-out) -: Stand-back.-These-are-winter-boots. (Ken-has-winter-boots-on-his-hands-and-he-is-about-to-smash-the-bee-but Vanessa-saves-him-last-second) VANESSA: Wait! -: Don't-kill-him! (Vanessa-puts-Barry-in-a-glass-to-protect-him) KEN: You-know-I'm-allergic-to-them! This-thing-could-kill-me! VANESSA: Why-does-his-life-have less-value-than-yours? KEN: Why-does-his-life-have-any-less-value than-mine?-Is-that-your-statement? VANESSA: I'm-just-saying-all-life-has-value.-You don't-know-what-he's-capable-of-feeling. (Vanessa-picks-up-Ken's-brochure-and-puts-it-under-the-glass-so-she-can carry-Barry-back-to-the-window.-Barry-looks-at-Vanessa-in-amazement) KEN: My-brochure! VANESSA: There-you-go #little-guy. (Vanessa-opens-the-window-and-lets-Barry-out-but-Barry-stays-back-and-is still-shocked-that-a-human-saved-his-life) KEN: I'm-not-scared-of-him. It's-an-allergic-thing. VANESSA: Put-that-on-your-resume-brochure. KEN: My-whole-face-could-puff-up. ANDY: Make-it-one-of-your-special-skills. KEN: Knocking-someone-out is-also-a-special-skill. (Ken-walks-to-the-door) Right.-Bye #Vanessa.-Thanks. -: --Vanessa #next-week?-Yogurt-night? VANESSA: --Sure #Ken.-You-know #whatever. -: (Vanessa-tries-to-close-door) KEN== --You-could-put-carob-chips-on-there. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door-but-Ken-opens-it-again) KEN: --Supposed-to-be-less-calories. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door) (Fast-forward-to-the-next-day #Barry-is-still-inside-the-house.-He-flies into-the-kitchen-where-Vanessa-is-doing-dishes) BARRY== (Talking-to-himself) I-gotta-say-something. -: She-saved-my-life. I-gotta-say-something. -: All-right #here-it-goes. (Turns-back) Nah. -: What-would-I-say? -: I-could-really-get-in-trouble. -: It's-a-bee-law. You're-not-supposed-to-talk-to-a-human. -: I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this. -: I've-got-to. (Barry-disguises-himself-as-a-character-on-a-food-can-as-Vanessa-walks-by again) -: Oh #I-can't-do-it.-Come-on! -: No.-Yes.-No. -: Do-it.-I-can't. -: How-should-I-start-it? (Barry-strikes-a-pose-and-wiggles-his-eyebrows) 'You-like-jazz?' No #that's-no-good. (Vanessa-is-about-to-walk-past-Barry) Here-she-comes!-Speak #you-fool! -: ...Hi! (Vanessa-gasps-and-drops-the-dishes-in-fright-and-notices-Barry-on-the counter) -: I'm-sorry. VANESSA: --You're-talking. BARRY: --Yes #I-know. VANESSA: (Pointing-at-Barry) You're-talking! BARRY: I'm-so-sorry. VANESSA: No #it's-OK.-It's-fine. I-know-I'm-dreaming. -: But-I-don't-recall-going-to-bed. BARRY: Well #I'm-sure-this is-very-disconcerting. VANESSA: This-is-a-bit-of-a-surprise-to-me. I-mean #you're-a-bee! BARRY: I-am.-And-I'm-not-supposed to-be-doing-this #(Pointing-to-the-living-room-where-Ken-tried-to-kill-him-last-night) but-they-were-all-trying-to-kill-me. -: And-if-it-wasn't-for-you... -: I-had-to-thank-you. It's-just-how-I-was-raised. (Vanessa-stabs-her-hand-with-a-fork-to-test-whether-she's-dreaming-or-not) -: That-was-a-little-weird. VANESSA: --I'm-talking-with-a-bee. BARRY: --Yeah. VANESSA: I'm-talking-to-a-bee. And-the-bee-is-talking-to-me! BARRY: I-just-want-to-say-I'm-grateful. I'll-leave-now. (Barry-turns-to-leave) VANESSA: --Wait!-How-did-you-learn-to-do-that? BARRY: (Flying-back) --What? VANESSA: The-talking...thing. BARRY: Same-way-you-did #I-guess. 'Mama #Dada #honey.'-You-pick-it-up. VANESSA: --That's-very-funny. BARRY: --Yeah. -: Bees-are-funny.-If-we-didn't-laugh #we'd-cry-with-what-we-have-to-deal-with. -: Anyway... VANESSA: Can-I... -: ...get-you-something? BARRY: --Like-what? VANESSA: I-don't-know.-I-mean... I-don't-know.-Coffee? BARRY: I-don't-want-to-put-you-out. VANESSA: It's-no-trouble.-It-takes-two-minutes. -: --It's-just-coffee. BARRY: --I-hate-to-impose. (Vanessa-starts-making-coffee) VANESSA: --Don't-be-ridiculous! BARRY: --Actually #I-would-love-a-cup. VANESSA: Hey #you-want-rum-cake? BARRY: --I-shouldn't. VANESSA: --Have-some. BARRY: --No #I-can't. VANESSA: --Come-on! BARRY: I'm-trying-to-lose-a-couple-micrograms. VANESSA: --Where? BARRY: --These-stripes-don't-help. VANESSA: You-look-great! BARRY: I-don't-know-if-you-know anything-about-fashion. -: Are-you-all-right? VANESSA: (Pouring-coffee-on-the-floor-and-missing-the-cup-completely) No. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-sitting-together-at-a-table on-top-of-the-apartment-building-drinking-coffee) -: BARRY== He's-making-the-tie-in-the-cab as-they're-flying-up-Madison. -: He-finally-gets-there. -: He-runs-up-the-steps-into-the-church. The-wedding-is-on. -: And-he-says #'Watermelon? I-thought-you-said-Guatemalan. -: Why-would-I-marry-a-watermelon?' (Barry-laughs-but-Vanessa-looks-confused) VANESSA: Is-that-a-bee-joke? BARRY: That's-the-kind-of-stuff-we-do. VANESSA: Yeah #different. -: So #what-are-you-gonna-do #Barry? (Barry-stands-on-top-of-a-sugar-cube-floating-in-his-coffee-and-paddles-it around-with-a-straw-like-it's-a-gondola) BARRY: About-work?-I-don't-know. -: I-want-to-do-my-part-for-the-hive #but-I-can't-do-it-the-way-they-want. VANESSA: I-know-how-you-feel. BARRY: --You-do? VANESSA: --Sure. -: My-parents-wanted-me-to-be-a-lawyer-or a-doctor #but-I-wanted-to-be-a-florist. BARRY: --Really? VANESSA: --My-only-interest-is-flowers. BARRY: Our-new-queen-was-just-elected with-that-same-campaign-slogan. -: Anyway #if-you-look... (Barry-points-to-a-tree-in-the-middle-of-Central-Park) -: There's-my-hive-right-there.-See-it? VANESSA: You're-in-Sheep-Meadow! BARRY: Yes!-I'm-right-off-the-Turtle-Pond! VANESSA: No-way!-I-know-that-area. I-lost-a-toe-ring-there-once. BARRY: --Why-do-girls-put-rings-on-their-toes? VANESSA: --Why-not? BARRY: --It's-like-putting-a-hat-on-your-knee. VANESSA: --Maybe-I'll-try-that. (A-custodian-installing-a-lightbulb-looks-over-at-them-but-to-his perspective-it-looks-like-Vanessa-is-talking-to-a-cup-of-coffee-on-the table) CUSTODIAN: --You-all-right #ma'am? VANESSA: --Oh #yeah.-Fine. -: Just-having-two-cups-of-coffee! BARRY: Anyway #this-has-been-great. Thanks-for-the-coffee. VANESSA== Yeah #it's-no-trouble. BARRY: Sorry-I-couldn't-finish-it.-If-I-did #I'd-be-up-the-rest-of-my-life. (Barry-points-towards-the-rum-cake) -: Can-I-take-a-piece-of-this-with-me? VANESSA: Sure!-Here #have-a-crumb. (Vanessa-hands-Barry-a-crumb-but-it-is-still-pretty-big-for-Barry) BARRY: --Thanks! VANESSA: --Yeah. BARRY: All-right.-Well #then... I-guess-I'll-see-you-around. -: Or-not. VANESSA: OK #Barry... BARRY: And-thank-you so-much-again...-for-before. VANESSA: Oh #that?-That-was-nothing. BARRY: Well #not-nothing #but...-Anyway... (Vanessa-and-Barry-hold-hands #but-Vanessa-has-to-hold-out-a-finger-because her-hands-is-to-big-and-Barry-holds-that) (The-custodian-looks-over-again-and-it-appears-Vanessa-is-laughing-at-her coffee-again.-The-lightbulb-that-he-was-screwing-in-sparks-and-he-falls-off the-ladder) (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-two-Bee-Scientists-testing-out-a-parachute in-a-Honex-wind-tunnel) BEE-SCIENTIST-#1: This-can't-possibly-work. BEE-SCIENTIST-#2: He's-all-set-to-go. We-may-as-well-try-it. -: OK #Dave #pull-the-chute. (Dave-pulls-the-chute-and-the-wind-slams-him-against-the-wall-and-he-falls on-his-face.The-camera-pans-over-and-we-see-Barry-and-Adam-walking together) ADAM: --Sounds-amazing. BARRY: --It-was-amazing! -: It-was-the-scariest #happiest-moment-of-my-life. ADAM: Humans!-I-can't-believe you-were-with-humans! -: Giant #scary-humans! What-were-they-like? BARRY: Huge-and-crazy.-They-talk-crazy. -: They-eat-crazy-giant-things. They-drive-crazy. ADAM: --Do-they-try-and-kill-you #like-on-TV? BARRY: --Some-of-them.-But-some-of-them-don't. ADAM: --How'd-you-get-back? BARRY: --Poodle. ADAM: You-did-it #and-I'm-glad.-You-saw whatever-you-wanted-to-see. -: You-had-your-'experience.'-Now-you can-pick-out-your-job-and-be-normal. BARRY: --Well... ADAM: --Well? BARRY: Well #I-met-someone. ADAM: You-did?-Was-she-Bee-ish? -: --A-wasp?!-Your-parents-will-kill-you! BARRY: --No #no #no #not-a-wasp. ADAM: --Spider? BARRY: --I'm-not-attracted-to-spiders. -: I-know #for-everyone-else #it's-the-hottest-thing #with-the-eight-legs-and-all. -: I-can't-get-by-that-face. ADAM: So-who-is-she? BARRY: She's...-human. ADAM: No #no.-That's-a-bee-law. You-wouldn't-break-a-bee-law. BARRY: --Her-name's-Vanessa. (Adam-puts-his-head-in-his-hands) ADAM: --Oh #boy. BARRY== She's-so-nice.-And-she's-a-florist! ADAM: Oh #no!-You're-dating-a-human-florist! BARRY: We're-not-dating. ADAM: You're-flying-outside-the-hive #talking to-humans-that-attack-our-homes -: with-power-washers-and-M-80s! That's-one-eighth-a-stick-of-dynamite! BARRY: She-saved-my-life! And-she-understands-me. ADAM: This-is-over! BARRY: Eat-this. (Barry-gives-Adam-a-piece-of-the-crumb-that-he-got-from-Vanessa.-Adam-eats it) ADAM: (Adam's-tone-changes) This-is-not-over!-What-was-that? BARRY: --They-call-it-a-crumb. ADAM: --It-was-so-stingin'-stripey! BARRY: And-that's-not-what-they-eat. That's-what-falls-off-what-they-eat! -: --You-know-what-a-Cinnabon-is? ADAM: --No. (Adam-opens-a-door-behind-him-and-he-pulls-Barry-in) BARRY: It's-bread-and-cinnamon-and-frosting. ADAM: Be-quiet! BARRY: They-heat-it-up... ADAM: Sit-down! (Adam-forces-Barry-to-sit-down) BARRY: (Still-rambling-about-Cinnabons) ...really-hot! (Adam-grabs-Barry-by-the-shoulders) ADAM: --Listen-to-me! -: We-are-not-them!-We're-us. There's-us-and-there's-them! BARRY== Yes #but-who-can-deny the-heart-that-is-yearning? ADAM: There's-no-yearning. Stop-yearning.-Listen-to-me! -: You-have-got-to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend.-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEE: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEES-AND-ADAM: Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-is-laying-on-a-raft-in-a-pool-full-of-honey. He-is-wearing-sunglasses) JANET: There-he-is.-He's-in-the-pool. MARTIN: You-know-what-your-problem-is #Barry? (Barry-pulls-down-his-sunglasses-and-he-looks-annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I-gotta-start-thinking-bee? JANET: How-much-longer-will-this-go-on? MARTIN: It's-been-three-days! Why-aren't-you-working? (Puts-sunglasses-back-on) BARRY: I've-got-a-lot-of-big-life-decisions to-think-about. MARTIN: What-life?-You-have-no-life! You-have-no-job.-You're-barely-a-bee! JANET: Would-it-kill-you to-make-a-little-honey? (Barry-rolls-off-the-raft-and-sinks-into-the-honey-pool) -: Barry #come-out. Your-father's-talking-to-you. -: Martin #would-you-talk-to-him? MARTIN: Barry #I'm-talking-to-you! (Barry-keeps-sinking-into-the-honey-until-he-is-suddenly-in-Central-Park having-a-picnic-with-Vanessa) (Barry-has-a-cup-of-honey-and-he-clinks-his-glass-with-Vanessas.-Suddenly-a mosquito-lands-on-Vanessa-and-she-slaps-it #killing-it.-They-both-gasp-but then-burst-out-laughing) VANESSA: You-coming? (The-camera-pans-over-and-Vanessa-is-climbing-into-a-small-yellow-airplane) BARRY: Got-everything? VANESSA: All-set! BARRY: Go-ahead.-I'll-catch-up. (Vanessa-lifts-off-and-flies-ahead) VANESSA: Don't-be-too-long. (Barry-catches-up-with-Vanessa-and-he-sticks-out-his-arms-like-ana-irplane. He-rolls-from-side-to-side #and-Vanessa-copies-him-with-the-airplane) VANESSA: Watch-this! (Barry-stays-back-and-watches-as-Vanessa-draws-a-heart-in-the-air-using pink-smoke-from-the-plane #but-on-the-last-loop-the-loop-she-suddenly crashes-into-a-mountain-and-the-plane-explodes.-The-destroyed-plane-falls into-some-rocks-and-explodes-a-second-time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As-Barry-is-yelling-his-mouth-fills-with-honey-and-he-wakes-up #discovering-that-he-was-just-day-dreaming.-He-slowly-sinks-back-into-the honey-pool) MARTIN: --We're-still-here. JANET: --I-told-you-not-to-yell-at-him. -: He-doesn't-respond-to-yelling! MARTIN: --Then-why-yell-at-me? JANET: --Because-you-don't-listen! MARTIN: I'm-not-listening-to-this. BARRY: Sorry #I've-gotta-go. MARTIN: --Where-are-you-going? BARRY: --I'm-meeting-a-friend. JANET: A-girl?-Is-this-why-you-can't-decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry-flies-out-the-door-and-Martin-shakes-his-head) -: JANET== I-just-hope-she's-Bee-ish. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-sitting-on-Vanessa's-shoulder-and-she-is closing-up-her-shop) BARRY: They-have-a-huge-parade of-flowers-every-year-in-Pasadena? VANESSA: To-be-in-the-Tournament-of-Roses #that's-every-florist's-dream! -: Up-on-a-float #surrounded by-flowers #crowds-cheering. BARRY: A-tournament.-Do-the-roses compete-in-athletic-events? VANESSA: No.-All-right #I've-got-one. How-come-you-don't-fly-everywhere? BARRY: It's-exhausting.-Why-don't-you run-everywhere?-It's-faster. VANESSA: Yeah #OK #I-see #I-see. All-right #your-turn. BARRY: TiVo.-You-can-just-freeze-live-TV? That's-insane! VANESSA: You-don't-have-that? BARRY: We-have-Hivo #but-it's-a-disease. It's-a-horrible #horrible-disease. VANESSA: Oh #my. (A-human-walks-by-and-Barry-narrowly-avoids-him) PASSERBY: Dumb-bees! VANESSA: You-must-want-to-sting-all-those-jerks. BARRY: We-try-not-to-sting. It's-usually-fatal-for-us. VANESSA: So-you-have-to-watch-your-temper (They-walk-into-a-store) BARRY: Very-carefully. You-kick-a-wall #take-a-walk #: write-an-angry-letter-and-throw-it-out. Work-through-it-like-any-emotion: -: Anger #jealousy #lust. (Suddenly-an-employee(Hector)-hits-Barry-off-of-Vanessa's-shoulder.-Hector thinks-he's-saving-Vanessa) VANESSA: (To-Barry) Oh #my-goodness!-Are-you-OK? (Barry-is-getting-up-off-the-floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To-Hector) --What-is-wrong-with-you?! HECTOR: (Confused) --It's-a-bug. VANESSA: He's-not-bothering-anybody. Get-out-of-here #you-creep! (Vanessa-hits-Hector-across-the-face-with-the-magazine-he-had-and-then-hits him-in-the-head.-Hector-backs-away-covering-his-head) Barry: What-was-that?-A-Pic-'N'-Save-circular? (Vanessa-sets-Barry-back-on-her-shoulder) VANESSA: Yeah #it-was.-How-did-you-know? BARRY: It-felt-like-about-10-pages. Seventy-five-is-pretty-much-our-limit. VANESSA: You've-really-got-that down-to-a-science. BARRY: --Oh #we-have-to.-I-lost-a-cousin-to-Italian-Vogue. VANESSA: --I'll-bet. (Barry-looks-to-his-right-and-notices-there-is-honey-for-sale-in-the-aisle) BARRY: What-in-the-name of-Mighty-Hercules-is-this? (Barry-looks-at-all-the-brands-of-honey #shocked) How-did-this-get-here? Cute-Bee #Golden-Blossom #: Ray-Liotta-Private-Select? (Barry-puts-his-hands-up-and-slowly-turns-around #a-look-of-disgust-on-his face) VANESSA: --Is-he-that-actor? BARRY: --I-never-heard-of-him. -: --Why-is-this-here? VANESSA: --For-people.-We-eat-it. BARRY: You-don't-have enough-food-of-your-own?! (Hector-looks-back-and-notices-that-Vanessa-is-talking-to-Barry) VANESSA: --Well #yes. BARRY: --How-do-you-get-it? VANESSA: --Bees-make-it. BARRY: --I-know-who-makes-it! -: And-it's-hard-to-make-it! -: There's-heating #cooling #stirring. You-need-a-whole-Krelman-thing! VANESSA: --It's-organic. BARRY: --It's-our-ganic! VANESSA: It's-just-honey #Barry. BARRY: Just-what?! -: Bees-don't-know-about-this! This-is-stealing!-A-lot-of-stealing! -: You've-taken-our-homes #schools #hospitals!-This-is-all-we-have! -: And-it's-on-sale?! I'm-getting-to-the-bottom-of-this. -: I'm-getting-to-the-bottom of-all-of-this! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-paints-his-face-with-black-strikes-like-a soldier-and-sneaks-into-the-storage-section-of-the-store) (Two-men #including-Hector #are-loading-boxes-into-some-trucks) -: SUPERMARKET-EMPLOYEE== Hey #Hector. -: --You-almost-done? HECTOR: --Almost. (Barry-takes-a-step-to-peak-around-the-corner) (Whispering) He-is-here.-I-sense-it. -: Well #I-guess-I'll-go-home-now (Hector-pretends-to-walk-away-by-walking-in-place-and-speaking-loudly) -: and-just-leave-this-nice-honey-out #with-no-one-around. BARRY: You're-busted #box-boy! HECTOR: I-knew-I-heard-something! So-you-can-talk! BARRY: I-can-talk. And-now-you'll-start-talking! -: Where-you-getting-the-sweet-stuff? Who's-your-supplier? HECTOR: I-don't-understand. I-thought-we-were-friends. -: The-last-thing-we-want to-do-is-upset-bees! (Hector-takes-a-thumbtack-out-of-the-board-behind-him-and-sword-fights Barry.-Barry-is-using-his-stinger-like-a-sword) -: You're-too-late!-It's-ours-now! BARRY: You #sir #have-crossed the-wrong-sword! HECTOR: You #sir #will-be-lunch for-my-iguana #Ignacio! (Barry-hits-the-thumbtack-out-of-Hectors-hand-and-Hector-surrenders) Barry: Where-is-the-honey-coming-from? -: Tell-me-where! HECTOR: (Pointing-to-leaving-truck) Honey-Farms!-It-comes-from-Honey-Farms! (Barry-chases-after-the-truck-but-it-is-getting-away.-He-flies-onto-a bicyclists'-backpack-and-he-catches-up-to-the-truck) CAR-DRIVER: (To-bicyclist) Crazy-person! (Barry-flies-off-and-lands-on-the-windshield-of-the-Honey-farms-truck. Barry-looks-around-and-sees-dead-bugs-splattered-everywhere) BARRY: What-horrible-thing-has-happened-here? -: These-faces #they-never-knew what-hit-them.-And-now -: they're-on-the-road-to-nowhere! (Barry-hears-a-sudden-whisper) (Barry-looks-up-and-sees-Mooseblood #a-mosquito-playing-dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just-keep-still. BARRY: What?-You're-not-dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do-I-look-dead?-They-will-wipe-anything that-moves.-Where-you-headed? BARRY: To-Honey-Farms. I-am-onto-something-huge-here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm-going-to-Alaska.-Moose-blood #crazy-stuff.-Blows-your-head-off! ANOTHER-BUG-PLAYING-DEAD: I'm-going-to-Tacoma. (Barry-looks-at-another-bug) BARRY: --And-you? MOOSEBLOOD: --He-really-is-dead. BARRY: All-right. (Another-bug-hits-the-windshield-and-the-drivers-notice.-They-activate-the windshield-wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The-windshield-wipers-are-slowly-sliding-over-the-dead-bugs-and-wiping them-off) BARRY: --What-is-that?! MOOSEBLOOD: --Oh #no! -: --A-wiper!-Triple-blade! BARRY: --Triple-blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump-on!-It's-your-only-chance #bee! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-grab-onto-the-wiper-and-they-hold-on-as-it-wipes-the windshield) Why-does-everything-have to-be-so-doggone-clean?! -: How-much-do-you-people-need-to-see?! (Bangs-on-windshield) -: Open-your-eyes! Stick-your-head-out-the-window! RADIO-IN-TRUCK: From-NPR-News-in-Washington #I'm-Carl-Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But-don't-kill-no-more-bugs! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-are-washed-off-by-the-wipr-fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: --Bee! BARRY: --Moose-blood-guy!! (Barry-starts-screaming-as-he-hangs-onto-the-antenna) (Suddenly-it-is-revealed-that-a-water-bug-is-also-hanging-on-the-antenna. There-is-a-pause-and-then-Barry-and-the-water-bug-both-start-screaming) TRUCK-DRIVER: --You-hear-something? GUY-IN-TRUCK: --Like-what? TRUCK-DRIVER: Like-tiny-screaming. GUY-IN-TRUCK: Turn-off-the-radio. (The-antenna-starts-to-lower-until-it-gets-to-low-and-sinks-into-the-truck. The-water-bug-flies-off-and-Barry-is-forced-to-let-go-and-he-is-blown-away. He-luckily-lands-inside-a-horn-on-top-of-the-truck-where-he-finds Mooseblood #who-was-blown-into-the-same-place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup #bee-boy? BARRY: Hey #Blood. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-that-Barry-is-deep-in-conversation-with Mooseblood.-They-have-been-sitting-in-this-truck-for-a-while) BARRY: ...Just-a-row-of-honey-jars #as-far-as-the-eye-could-see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I-assume-wherever-this-truck-goes is-where-they're-getting-it. -: I-mean #that-honey's-ours. MOOSEBLOOD: --Bees-hang-tight. BARRY: --We're-all-jammed-in. -: It's-a-close-community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not-us #man.-We-on-our-own. Every-mosquito-on-his-own. BARRY: --What-if-you-get-in-trouble? MOOSEBLOOD: --You-a-mosquito #you-in-trouble. -: Nobody-likes-us.-They-just-smack. See-a-mosquito #smack #smack! BARRY: At-least-you're-out-in-the-world. You-must-meet-girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito-girls-try-to-trade-up #get-with-a-moth #dragonfly. -: Mosquito-girl-don't-want-no-mosquito. (An-ambulance-passes-by-and-it-has-a-blood-donation-sign-on-it) You-got-to-be-kidding-me! -: Mooseblood's-about-to-leave the-building!-So-long #bee! (Mooseblood-leaves-and-flies-onto-the-window-of-the-ambulance-where-there are-other-mosquito's-hanging-out) -: --Hey #guys! OTHER-MOSQUITO: --Mooseblood! MOOSEBLOOD: I-knew-I'd-catch-y'all-down-here. Did-you-bring-your-crazy-straw? (The-truck-goes-out-of-view-and-Barry-notices-that-the-truck-he's-on-is pulling-into-a-camp-of-some-sort) TRUCK-DRIVER: We-throw-it-in-jars #slap-a-label-on-it #and-it's-pretty-much-pure-profit. (Barry-flies-out) BARRY: What-is-this-place? BEEKEEPER-1#: A-bee's-got-a-brain the-size-of-a-pinhead. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-are-pinheads! -: Pinhead. -: --Check-out-the-new-smoker. BEEKEEPER-#1: --Oh #sweet.-That's-the-one-you-want. -: The-Thomas-3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER-#1: Ninety-puffs-a-minute #semi-automatic. Twice-the-nicotine #all-the-tar. -: A-couple-breaths-of-this knocks-them-right-out. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money. BARRY: 'They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money'? (The-Beekeeper-sprays-hundreds-of-cheap-miniature-apartments-with-the smoker.-The-bees-are-fainting-or-passing-out) Oh #my! -: What's-going-on?-Are-you-OK? (Barry-flies-into-one-of-the-apartment-and-helps-a-Bee-couple-get-off-the ground.-They-are-coughing-and-its-hard-for-them-to-stand) BEE-IN-APARTMENT: Yeah.-It-doesn't-last-too-long. BARRY: Do-you-know-you're in-a-fake-hive-with-fake-walls? BEE-IN-APPARTMENT: Our-queen-was-moved-here. We-had-no-choice. (The-apartment-room-is-completely-empty-except-for-a-photo-on-the-wall-of the-'queen'-who-is-obviously-a-man-in-women's-clothes) BARRY: This-is-your-queen? That's-a-man-in-women's-clothes! -: That's-a-drag-queen! -: What-is-this? (Barry-flies-out-and-he-discovers-that-there-are-hundreds-of-these structures #each-housing-thousands-of-Bees) Oh #no! -: There's-hundreds-of-them! (Barry-takes-out-his-camera-and-takes-pictures-of-these-Bee-work-camps.-The beekeepers-look-very-evil-in-these-depictions) Bee-honey. -: Our-honey-is-being-brazenly-stolen on-a-massive-scale! -: This-is-worse-than-anything-bears have-done!-I-intend-to-do-something. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-showing-these-pictures-to-his-parents) JANET: Oh #Barry #stop. MARTIN: Who-told-you-humans-are-taking our-honey?-That's-a-rumor. BARRY: Do-these-look-like-rumors? (Holds-up-the-pictures) UNCLE-CARL: That's-a-conspiracy-theory. These-are-obviously-doctored-photos. JANET: How-did-you-get-mixed-up-in-this? ADAM: He's-been-talking-to-humans. JANET: --What? MARTIN: --Talking-to-humans?! ADAM: He-has-a-human-girlfriend. And-they-make-out! JANET: Make-out?-Barry! BARRY: We-do-not. ADAM: --You-wish-you-could. MARTIN: --Whose-side-are-you-on? BARRY: The-bees! UNCLE-CARL: (He-has-been-sitting-in-the-back-of-the-room-this-entire-time) I-dated-a-cricket-once-in-San-Antonio. Those-crazy-legs-kept-me-up-all-night. JANET: Barry #this-is-what-you-want to-do-with-your-life? BARRY: I-want-to-do-it-for-all-our-lives. Nobody-works-harder-than-bees! -: Dad #I-remember-you coming-home-so-overworked -: your-hands-were-still-stirring. You-couldn't-stop. JANET: I-remember-that. BARRY: What-right-do-they-have-to-our-honey? -: We-live-on-two-cups-a-year.-They-put-it in-lip-balm-for-no-reason-whatsoever! ADAM: Even-if-it's-true #what-can-one-bee-do? BARRY: Sting-them-where-it-really-hurts. MARTIN: In-the-face!-The-eye! -: --That-would-hurt. BARRY: --No. MARTIN: Up-the-nose?-That's-a-killer. BARRY: There's-only-one-place-you-can-sting the-humans #one-place-where-it-matters. (Flash-forward-a-bit-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-Bee-News) BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: Hive-at-Five #the-hive's-only full-hour-action-news-source. BEE-PROTESTOR: No-more-bee-beards! BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: With-Bob-Bumble-at-the-anchor-desk. -: Weather-with-Storm-Stinger. -: Sports-with-Buzz-Larvi. -: And-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: --Good-evening.-I'm-Bob-Bumble. JEANETTE-CHUNG: --And-I'm-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: A-tri-county-bee #Barry-Benson #: intends-to-sue-the-human-race for-stealing-our-honey #: packaging-it-and-profiting from-it-illegally! JEANETTE-CHUNG: Tomorrow-night-on-Bee-Larry-King #: we'll-have-three-former-queens-here-in our-studio #discussing-their-new-book #: Classy-Ladies #out-this-week-on-Hexagon. (The-scene-changes-to-an-interview-on-the-news-with-Bee-version-of-Larry King-and-Barry) BEE-LARRY-KING: Tonight-we're-talking-to-Barry-Benson. -: Did-you-ever-think #'I'm-a-kid from-the-hive.-I-can't-do-this'? BARRY: Bees-have-never-been-afraid to-change-the-world. -: What-about-Bee-Columbus? Bee-Gandhi?-Bejesus? BEE-LARRY-KING: Where-I'm-from #we'd-never-sue-humans. -: We-were-thinking of-stickball-or-candy-stores. BARRY: How-old-are-you? BEE-LARRY-KING: The-bee-community is-supporting-you-in-this-case #: which-will-be-the-trial of-the-bee-century. BARRY: You-know #they-have-a-Larry-King in-the-human-world-too. BEE-LARRY-KING: It's-a-common-name.-Next-week... BARRY: He-looks-like-you-and-has-a-show and-suspenders-and-colored-dots... BEE-LARRY-KING: Next-week... BARRY: Glasses #quotes-on-the-bottom-from-the guest-even-though-you-just-heard-'em. BEE-LARRY-KING: Bear-Week-next-week! They're-scary #hairy-and-here #live. (Bee-Larry-King-gets-annoyed-and-flies-away-offscreen) BARRY: Always-leans-forward #pointy-shoulders #squinty-eyes #very-Jewish. (Flash-forward-in-time.-We-see-Vanessa-enter-and-Ken-enters-behind-her. They-are-arguing) KEN: In-tennis #you-attack at-the-point-of-weakness! VANESSA: It-was-my-grandmother #Ken.-She's-81. KEN== Honey #her-backhand's-a-joke! I'm-not-gonna-take-advantage-of-that? BARRY: (To-Ken) Quiet #please. Actual-work-going-on-here. KEN: (Pointing-at-Barry) --Is-that-that-same-bee? VANESSA: --Yes #it-is! -: I'm-helping-him-sue-the-human-race. BARRY: --Hello. KEN: --Hello #bee. VANESSA: This-is-Ken. BARRY: (Recalling-the-'Winter-Boots'-incident-earlier) Yeah #I-remember-you.-Timberland #size ten-and-a-half.-Vibram-sole #I-believe. KEN: (To-Vanessa) Why-does-he-talk-again? VANESSA: Listen #you-better-go 'cause-we're-really-busy-working. KEN: But-it's-our-yogurt-night! VANESSA: (Holding-door-open-for-Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why-is-yogurt-night-so-difficult?! (Ken-leaves-and-Vanessa-walks-over-to-Barry.-His-workplace-is-a-mess) VANESSA: You-poor-thing. You-two-have-been-at-this-for-hours! BARRY: Yes #and-Adam-here has-been-a-huge-help. ADAM: --Frosting... --How-many-sugars? -==BARRY== Just-one.-I-try-not to-use-the-competition. -: So-why-are-you-helping-me? VANESSA: Bees-have-good-qualities. -: And-it-takes-my-mind-off-the-shop. -: Instead-of-flowers #people are-giving-balloon-bouquets-now. BARRY: Those-are-great #if-you're-three. VANESSA: And-artificial-flowers. BARRY: --Oh #those-just-get-me-psychotic! VANESSA: --Yeah #me-too. -: BARRY: Bent-stingers #pointless-pollination. ADAM: Bees-must-hate-those-fake-things! -: Nothing-worse than-a-daffodil-that's-had-work-done. -: Maybe-this-could-make-up for-it-a-little-bit. VANESSA: --This-lawsuit's-a-pretty-big-deal. BARRY: --I-guess. ADAM: You-sure-you-want-to-go-through-with-it? BARRY: Am-I-sure?-When-I'm-done-with the-humans #they-won't-be-able -: to-say #'Honey #I'm-home #' without-paying-a-royalty! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-human-news.-The-camera-shows a-crowd-outside-a-courthouse) NEWS-REPORTER: It's-an-incredible-scene here-in-downtown-Manhattan #: where-the-world-anxiously-waits #because-for-the-first-time-in-history #: we-will-hear-for-ourselves if-a-honeybee-can-actually-speak. (We-are-no-longer-watching-through-a-news-camera) ADAM: What-have-we-gotten-into-here #Barry? BARRY: It's-pretty-big #isn't-it? ADAM== (Looking-at-the-hundreds-of-people-around-the-courthouse) I-can't-believe-how-many-humans don't-work-during-the-day. BARRY: You-think-billion-dollar-multinational food-companies-have-good-lawyers? SECURITY-GUARD: Everybody-needs-to-stay behind-the-barricade. (A-limousine-drives-up-and-a-fat-man #Layton-Montgomery #a-honey-industry owner-gets-out-and-walks-past-Barry) ADAM: --What's-the-matter? BARRY: --I-don't-know #I-just-got-a-chill. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-everyone-is-in-the-court) MONTGOMERY: Well #if-it-isn't-the-bee-team. (To-Honey-Industry-lawyers) You-boys-work-on-this? MAN: All-rise!-The-Honorable Judge-Bumbleton-presiding. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: All-right.-Case-number-4475 #: Superior-Court-of-New-York #Barry-Bee-Benson-v.-the-Honey-Industry -: is-now-in-session. -: Mr.-Montgomery #you're-representing the-five-food-companies-collectively? MONTGOMERY: A-privilege. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson...-you're-representing all-the-bees-of-the-world? (Everyone-looks-closely #they-are-waiting-to-see-if-a-Bee-can-really-talk) (Barry-makes-several-buzzing-sounds-to-sound-like-a-Bee) BARRY: I'm-kidding.-Yes #Your-Honor #we're-ready-to-proceed. JUDGE-BUMBLBETON: Mr.-Montgomery #your-opening-statement #please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies-and-gentlemen-of-the-jury #: my-grandmother-was-a-simple-woman. -: Born-on-a-farm #she-believed it-was-man's-divine-right -: to-benefit-from-the-bounty of-nature-God-put-before-us. -: If-we-lived-in-the-topsy-turvy-world Mr.-Benson-imagines #: just-think-of-what-would-it-mean. -: I-would-have-to-negotiate with-the-silkworm -: for-the-elastic-in-my-britches! -: Talking-bee! (Montgomery-walks-over-and-looks-closely-at-Barry) -: How-do-we-know-this-isn't-some-sort-of -: holographic-motion-picture-capture Hollywood-wizardry? -: They-could-be-using-laser-beams! -: Robotics!-Ventriloquism! Cloning!-For-all-we-know #: he-could-be-on-steroids! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson? BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #there's-no-trickery-here. -: I'm-just-an-ordinary-bee. Honey's-pretty-important-to-me. -: It's-important-to-all-bees. We-invented-it! -: We-make-it.-And-we-protect-it with-our-lives. -: Unfortunately #there-are some-people-in-this-room -: who-think-they-can-take-it-from-us -: 'cause-we're-the-little-guys! I'm-hoping-that #after-this-is-all-over #: you'll-see-how #by-taking-our-honey #you-not-only-take-everything-we-have -: but-everything-we-are! JANET== (To-Martin) I-wish-he'd-dress-like-that all-the-time.-So-nice! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Call-your-first-witness. BARRY: So #Mr.-Klauss-Vanderhayden of-Honey-Farms #big-company-you-have. KLAUSS-VANDERHAYDEN: I-suppose-so. BARRY: I-see-you-also-own Honeyburton-and-Honron! KLAUSS: Yes #they-provide-beekeepers for-our-farms. BARRY: Beekeeper.-I-find-that to-be-a-very-disturbing-term. -: I-don't-imagine-you-employ any-bee-free-ers #do-you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) --No. BARRY: --I-couldn't-hear-you. KLAUSS: --No. BARRY: --No. -: Because-you-don't-free-bees. You-keep-bees.-Not-only-that #: it-seems-you-thought-a-bear-would-be an-appropriate-image-for-a-jar-of-honey. KLAUSS: They're-very-lovable-creatures. -: Yogi-Bear #Fozzie-Bear #Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You-mean-like-this? (The-bear-from-Over-The-Hedge-barges-in-through-the-back-door-and-it-is roaring-and-standing-on-its-hind-legs.-It-is-thrashing-its-claws-and-people are-screaming.-It-is-being-held-back-by-a-guard-who-has-the-bear-on-a chain) -: (Pointing-to-the-roaring-bear) Bears-kill-bees! -: How'd-you-like-his-head-crashing through-your-living-room?! -: Biting-into-your-couch! Spitting-out-your-throw-pillows! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: OK #that's-enough.-Take-him-away. (The-bear-stops-roaring-and-thrashing-and-walks-out) BARRY: So #Mr.-Sting #thank-you-for-being-here. Your-name-intrigues-me. -: --Where-have-I-heard-it-before? MR.-STING: --I-was-with-a-band-called-The-Police. BARRY: But-you've-never-been a-police-officer #have-you? STING: No #I-haven't. BARRY: No #you-haven't.-And-so-here we-have-yet-another-example -: of-bee-culture-casually stolen-by-a-human -: for-nothing-more-than a-prance-about-stage-name. STING: Oh #please. BARRY: Have-you-ever-been-stung #Mr.-Sting? -: Because-I'm-feeling a-little-stung #Sting. -: Or-should-I-say...-Mr.-Gordon-M.-Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's-not-his-real-name?!-You-idiots! BARRY: Mr.-Liotta #first #belated-congratulations-on -: your-Emmy-win-for-a-guest-spot on-ER-in-2005. RAY-LIOTTA: Thank-you.-Thank-you. BARRY: I-see-from-your-resume that-you're-devilishly-handsome -: with-a-churning-inner-turmoil that's-ready-to-blow. RAY-LIOTTA: I-enjoy-what-I-do.-Is-that-a-crime? BARRY: Not-yet-it-isn't.-But-is-this what-it's-come-to-for-you? -: Exploiting-tiny #helpless-bees so-you-don't -: have-to-rehearse your-part-and-learn-your-lines #sir? RAY-LIOTTA: Watch-it #Benson! I-could-blow-right-now! BARRY: This-isn't-a-goodfella. This-is-a-badfella! (Ray-Liotta-looses-it-and-tries-to-grab-Barry) RAY-LIOTTA: Why-doesn't-someone-just-step-on this-creep #and-we-can-all-go-home?! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: --Order-in-this-court! RAY-LIOTTA: --You're-all-thinking-it! (Judge-Bumbleton-starts-banging-her-gavel) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Order!-Order #I-say! RAY-LIOTTA: --Say-it! MAN: --Mr.-Liotta #please-sit-down! (We-see-a-montage-of-magazines-which-feature-the-court-case) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-back-home-with-Vanessa) BARRY: I-think-it-was-awfully-nice of-that-bear-to-pitch-in-like-that. VANESSA: I-think-the-jury's-on-our-side. BARRY: Are-we-doing-everything-right #you-know #legally? VANESSA: I'm-a-florist. BARRY: Right.-Well #here's-to-a-great-team. VANESSA: To-a-great-team! (Ken-walks-in-from-work.-He-sees-Barry-and-he-looks-upset-when-he-sees Barry-clinking-his-glass-with-Vanessa) KEN: Well #hello. VANESSA: --Oh #Ken! BARRY: --Hello! VANESSA: I-didn't-think-you-were-coming. -: No #I-was-just-late. I-tried-to-call #but... (Ken-holds-up-his-phone-and-flips-it-open.-The-phone-has-no-charge) ...the-battery... VANESSA: I-didn't-want-all-this-to-go-to-waste #so-I-called-Barry.-Luckily #he-was-free. KEN: Oh #that-was-lucky. (Ken-sits-down-at-the-table-across-from-Barry-and-Vanessa-leaves-the-room) VANESSA: There's-a-little-left. I-could-heat-it-up. KEN: (Not-taking-his-eyes-off-Barry) Yeah #heat-it-up #sure #whatever. BARRY: So-I-hear-you're-quite-a-tennis-player. -: I'm-not-much-for-the-game-myself. The-ball's-a-little-grabby. KEN: That's-where-I-usually-sit. Right... (Points-to-where-Barry-is-sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling-from-other-room) Ken #Barry-was-looking-at-your-resume #: and-he-agreed-with-me-that-eating-with chopsticks-isn't-really-a-special-skill. KEN: (To-Barry) You-think-I-don't-see-what-you're-doing? BARRY: I-know-how-hard-it-is-to-find the-right-job.-We-have-that-in-common. KEN: Do-we? BARRY: Bees-have-100-percent-employment #but-we-do-jobs-like-taking-the-crud-out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's-just-what I-was-thinking-about-doing. (Ken-reaches-for-a-fork-on-the-table-but-knocks-if-on-the-floor.-He-goes-to pick-it-up) VANESSA: Ken #I-let-Barry-borrow-your-razor for-his-fuzz.-I-hope-that-was-all-right. (Ken-quickly-rises-back-up-after-hearing-this-but-hits-his-head-on-the table-and-yells) BARRY: I'm-going-to-drain-the-old-stinger. KEN: Yeah #you-do-that. (Barry-flies-past-Ken-to-get-to-the-bathroom-and-Ken-freaks-out #splashing some-of-the-wine-he-was-using-to-cool-his-head-in-his-eyes.-He-yells-in anger) (Barry-looks-at-the-magazines-featuring-his-victories-in-court) BARRY: Look-at-that. (Barry-flies-into-the-bathroom) (He-puts-his-hand-on-his-head-but-this-makes-hurts-him-and-makes-him-even madder.-He-yells-again) (Barry-is-washing-his-hands-in-the-sink-but-then-Ken-walks-in) KEN: You-know #you-know-I've-just-about-had-it (Closes-bathroom-door-behind-him) with-your-little-mind-games. (Ken-is-menacingly-rolling-up-a-magazine) BARRY: (Backing-away) --What's-that? KEN: --Italian-Vogue. BARRY: Mamma-mia #that's-a-lot-of-pages. KEN: It's-a-lot-of-ads. BARRY: Remember-what-Van-said #why-is your-life-more-valuable-than-mine? KEN: That's-funny #I-just-can't-seem-to-recall-that! (Ken-smashes-everything-off-the-sink-with-the-magazine-and-Barry-narrowly escapes) (Ken-follows-Barry-around-and-tries-to-hit-him-with-the-magazine-but-he keeps-missing) (Ken-gets-a-spray-bottle) -: I-think-something-stinks-in-here! BARRY: (Enjoying-the-spray) I-love-the-smell-of-flowers. (Ken-holds-a-lighter-in-front-of-the-spray-bottle) KEN: How-do-you-like-the-smell-of-flames?! BARRY: Not-as-much. (Ken-fires-his-make-shift-flamethrower-but-misses-Barry #burning-the bathroom.-He-torches-the-whole-room-but-looses-his-footing-and-falls-into the-bathtub.-After-getting-hit-in-the-head-by-falling-objects-3-times-he picks-up-the-shower-head #revealing-a-Water-bug-hiding-under-it) WATER-BUG: Water-bug!-Not-taking-sides! (Barry-gets-up-out-of-a-pile-of-bathroom-supplies-and-he-is-wearing-a chapstick-hat) BARRY: Ken #I'm-wearing-a-Chapstick-hat! This-is-pathetic! (Ken-switches-the-shower-head-to-lethal) KEN: I've-got-issues! (Ken-sprays-Barry-with-the-shower-head-and-he-crash-lands-into-the-toilet) (Ken-menacingly-looks-down-into-the-toilet-at-Barry) Well #well #well #a-royal-flush! BARRY: --You're-bluffing. KEN: --Am-I? (flushes-toilet) (Barry-grabs-a-chapstick-from-the-toilet-seat-and-uses-it-to-surf-in-the flushing-toilet) BARRY: Surf's-up #dude! (Barry-flies-out-of-the-toilet-on-the-chapstick-and-sprays-Ken's-face-with the-toilet-water) -: EW #Poo-water! BARRY: That-bowl-is-gnarly. KEN: (Aiming-a-toilet-cleaner-at-Barry) Except-for-those-dirty-yellow-rings! (Barry-cowers-and-covers-his-head-and-Vanessa-runs-in-and-takes-the-toilet cleaner-from-Ken-just-before-he-hits-Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth!-What-are-you-doing?! KEN== (Leaning-towards-Barry) You-know #I-don't-even-like-honey! I-don't-eat-it! VANESSA: We-need-to-talk! (Vanessa-pulls-Ken-out-of-the-bathroom) -: He's-just-a-little-bee! -: And-he-happens-to-be the-nicest-bee-I've-met-in-a-long-time! KEN: Long-time?-What-are-you-talking-about?! Are-there-other-bugs-in-your-life? VANESSA: No #but-there-are-other-things-bugging me-in-life.-And-you're-one-of-them! KEN: Fine!-Talking-bees #no-yogurt-night... -: My-nerves-are-fried-from-riding on-this-emotional-roller-coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye #Ken. (Ken-huffs-and-walks-out-and-slams-the-door.-But-suddenly-he-walks-back-in and-stares-at-Barry) -: And-for-your-information #I-prefer-sugar-free #artificial sweeteners-MADE-BY-MAN! (Ken-leaves-again-and-Vanessa-leans-in-towards-Barry) VANESSA: I'm-sorry-about-all-that. (Ken-walks-back-in-again) KEN: I-know-it's-got an-aftertaste!-I-LIKE-IT! (Ken-leaves-for-the-last-time) VANESSA: I-always-felt-there-was-some-kind of-barrier-between-Ken-and-me. -: I-couldn't-overcome-it. Oh #well. -: Are-you-OK-for-the-trial? BARRY: I-believe-Mr.-Montgomery is-about-out-of-ideas. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry #Adam #and-Vanessa-are-back-in-court) MONTGOMERY-- We-would-like-to-call Mr.-Barry-Benson-Bee-to-the-stand. ADAM: Good-idea!-You-can-really-see-why-he's considered-one-of-the-best-lawyers... (Barry-stares-at-Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton #you've gotta-weave-some-magic with-this-jury #or-it's-gonna-be-all-over. MONTGOMERY: Don't-worry.-The-only-thing-I-have to-do-to-turn-this-jury-around -: is-to-remind-them of-what-they-don't-like-about-bees. (To-lawyer) --You-got-the-tweezers? LAWYER: --Are-you-allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only-to-losing #son.-Only-to-losing. -: Mr.-Benson-Bee #I'll-ask-you what-I-think-we'd-all-like-to-know. -: What-exactly-is-your-relationship (Points-to-Vanessa) -: to-that-woman? BARRY: We're-friends. MONTGOMERY: --Good-friends? BARRY: --Yes. MONTGOMERY: How-good?-Do-you-live-together? ADAM: Wait-a-minute... -: MONTGOMERY: Are-you-her-little... -: ...bedbug? (Adam's-stinger-starts-vibrating.-He-is-agitated) I've-seen-a-bee-documentary-or-two. From-what-I-understand #: doesn't-your-queen-give-birth to-all-the-bee-children? BARRY: --Yeah #but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing-at-Janet-and-Martin) --So-those-aren't-your-real-parents! JANET: --Oh #Barry... BARRY: --Yes #they-are! ADAM: Hold-me-back! (Vanessa-tries-to-hold-Adam-back.-He-wants-to-sting-Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're-an-illegitimate-bee #aren't-you #Benson? ADAM: He's-denouncing-bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't-y'all-date-your-cousins? (Montgomery-leans-over-on-the-jury-stand-and-stares-at-Adam) VANESSA: --Objection! (Vanessa-raises-her-hand-to-object-but-Adam-gets-free.-He-flies-straight-at Montgomery) =ADAM: --I'm-going-to-pincushion-this-guy! BARRY: Adam #don't!-It's-what-he-wants! (Adam-stings-Montgomery-in-the-butt-and-he-starts-thrashing-around) MONTGOMERY: Oh #I'm-hit!! -: Oh #lordy #I-am-hit! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: (Banging-gavel) Order!-Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The-venom!-The-venom is-coursing-through-my-veins! -: I-have-been-felled by-a-winged-beast-of-destruction! -: You-see?-You-can't-treat-them like-equals!-They're-striped-savages! -: Stinging's-the-only-thing they-know!-It's-their-way! BARRY: --Adam #stay-with-me. ADAM: --I-can't-feel-my-legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting-and-throwing-his-body-around-the-room) What-angel-of-mercy will-come-forward-to-suck-the-poison -: from-my-heaving-buttocks? JUDGE-BUMLBETON: I-will-have-order-in-this-court.-Order! -: Order #please! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-see-a-human-news-reporter) NEWS-REPORTER: The-case-of-the-honeybees versus-the-human-race -: took-a-pointed-turn-against-the-bees -: yesterday-when-one-of-their-legal team-stung-Layton-T.-Montgomery. (Adam-is-laying-in-a-hospital-bed-and-Barry-flies-in-to-see-him) BARRY: --Hey #buddy. ADAM: --Hey. BARRY: --Is-there-much-pain? ADAM: --Yeah. -: I... -: I-blew-the-whole-case #didn't-I? BARRY: It-doesn't-matter.-What-matters-is you're-alive.-You-could-have-died. ADAM: I'd-be-better-off-dead.-Look-at-me. (A-small-plastic-sword-is-replaced-as-Adam's-stinger) They-got-it-from-the-cafeteria downstairs #in-a-tuna-sandwich. -: Look #there's a-little-celery-still-on-it. (Flicks-off-the-celery-and-sighs) BARRY: What-was-it-like-to-sting-someone? ADAM: I-can't-explain-it.-It-was-all... -: All-adrenaline-and-then... and-then-ecstasy! BARRY: ...All-right. ADAM: You-think-it-was-all-a-trap? BARRY: Of-course.-I'm-sorry. I-flew-us-right-into-this. -: What-were-we-thinking?-Look-at-us.-We're just-a-couple-of-bugs-in-this-world. ADAM: What-will-the-humans-do-to-us if-they-win? BARRY: I-don't-know. ADAM: I-hear-they-put-the-roaches-in-motels. That-doesn't-sound-so-bad. BARRY: Adam #they-check-in #but-they-don't-check-out! ADAM: Oh #my. (Coughs) Could-you-get-a-nurse to-close-that-window? BARRY: --Why? ADAM: --The-smoke. (We-can-see-that-two-humans-are-smoking-cigarettes-outside) -: Bees-don't-smoke. BARRY: Right.-Bees-don't-smoke. -: Bees-don't-smoke! But-some-bees-are-smoking. -: That's-it!-That's-our-case! ADAM: It-is?-It's-not-over? BARRY: Get-dressed.-I've-gotta-go-somewhere. -: Get-back-to-the-court-and-stall. Stall-any-way-you-can. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Adam-is-making-a-paper-boat-in-the-courtroom) ADAM: And-assuming-you've-done-step-29-correctly #you're-ready-for-the-tub! (We-see-that-the-jury-have-each-made-their-own-paper-boats-after-being taught-how-by-Adam.-They-all-look-confused) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman. ADAM: Yes?-Yes #Your-Honor! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Where-is-the-rest-of-your-team? ADAM: (Continues-stalling) Well #Your-Honor #it's-interesting. -: Bees-are-trained-to-fly-haphazardly #: and-as-a-result #we-don't-make-very-good-time. -: I-actually-heard-a-funny-story-about... MONTGOMERY: Your-Honor #haven't-these-ridiculous-bugs -: taken-up-enough of-this-court's-valuable-time? -: How-much-longer-will-we-allow these-absurd-shenanigans-to-go-on? -: They-have-presented-no-compelling evidence-to-support-their-charges -: against-my-clients #who-run-legitimate-businesses. -: I-move-for-a-complete-dismissal of-this-entire-case! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman #I'm-afraid-I'm-going -: to-have-to-consider Mr.-Montgomery's-motion. ADAM: But-you-can't!-We-have-a-terrific-case. MONTGOMERY: Where-is-your-proof? Where-is-the-evidence? -: Show-me-the-smoking-gun! BARRY: (Barry-flies-in-through-the-door) Hold-it #Your-Honor! You-want-a-smoking-gun? -: Here-is-your-smoking-gun. (Vanessa-walks-in-holding-a-bee-smoker.-She-sets-it-down-on-the-Judge's podium) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: What-is-that? BARRY: It's-a-bee-smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks-up-smoker) What #this? This-harmless-little-contraption? -: This-couldn't-hurt-a-fly #let-alone-a-bee. (Montgomery-accidentally-fires-it-at-the-bees-in-the-crowd-and-they-faint and-cough) (Dozens-of-reporters-start-taking-pictures-of-the-suffering-bees) BARRY: Look-at-what-has-happened -: to-bees-who-have-never-been-asked #'Smoking-or-non?' -: Is-this-what-nature-intended-for-us? -: To-be-forcibly-addicted to-smoke-machines -: and-man-made-wooden-slat-work-camps? -: Living-out-our-lives-as-honey-slaves to-the-white-man? (Barry-points-to-the-honey-industry-owners.-One-of-them-is-an-African American-so-he-awkwardly-separates-himself-from-the-others) LAWYER: --What-are-we-gonna-do? --He's-playing-the-species-card. BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #please #free-these-bees! ADAM-AND-VANESSA: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! BEES-IN-CROWD: Free-the-bees! HUMAN-JURY: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: The-court-finds-in-favor-of-the-bees! BARRY: Vanessa #we-won! VANESSA: I-knew-you-could-do-it!-High-five! (Vanessa-hits-Barry-hard-because-her-hand-is-too-big) -: Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm-OK!-You-know-what-this-means? -: All-the-honey will-finally-belong-to-the-bees. -: Now-we-won't-have to-work-so-hard-all-the-time. MONTGOMERY: This-is-an-unholy-perversion of-the-balance-of-nature #Benson. -: You'll-regret-this. (Montgomery-leaves-and-Barry-goes-outside-the-courtroom.-Several-reporters start-asking-Barry-questions) REPORTER-1#: Barry #how-much-honey-is-out-there? BARRY: All-right.-One-at-a-time. REPORTER-2#: Barry #who-are-you-wearing? BARRY: My-sweater-is-Ralph-Lauren #and-I-have-no-pants. (Barry-flies-outside-with-the-paparazzi-and-Adam-and-Vanessa-stay-back) ADAM: (To-Vanessa) --What-if-Montgomery's-right? Vanessa: --What-do-you-mean? ADAM: We've-been-living-the-bee-way a-long-time #27-million-years. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-a-man) BUSINESS-MAN: Congratulations-on-your-victory. What-will-you-demand-as-a-settlement? BARRY: First #we'll-demand-a-complete-shutdown of-all-bee-work-camps. (As-Barry-is-talking-we-see-a-montage-of-men-putting-'closed'-tape-over-the work-camps-and-freeing-the-bees-in-the-crappy-apartments) Then-we-want-back-the-honey that-was-ours-to-begin-with #: every-last-drop. (Men-in-suits-are-pushing-all-the-honey-of-the-aisle-and-into-carts) We-demand-an-end-to-the-glorification of-the-bear-as-anything-more (We-see-a-statue-of-a-bear-shaped-honey-container-being-pulled-down-by bees) than-a-filthy #smelly #bad-breath-stink-machine. -: We're-all-aware of-what-they-do-in-the-woods. (We-see-Winnie-the-Pooh-sharing-his-honey-with-Piglet-in-the-cross-hairs-of a-high-tech-sniper-rifle) BARRY: (Looking-through-binoculars) Wait-for-my-signal. -: Take-him-out. (Winnie-gets-hit-by-a-tranquilizer-dart-and-dramatically-falls-off-the-log he-was-standing-on #his-tongue-hanging-out.-Piglet-looks-at-Pooh-in-fear and-the-Sniper-takes-the-honey.) SNIPER: He'll-have-nausea for-a-few-hours #then-he'll-be-fine. (Flash-forward-in-time) BARRY: And-we-will-no-longer-tolerate bee-negative-nicknames... (Mr.-Sting-is-sitting-at-home-until-he-is-taken-out-of-his-house-by-the-men in-suits) STING: But-it's-just-a-prance-about-stage-name! BARRY: ...unnecessary-inclusion-of-honey in-bogus-health-products -: and-la-dee-da-human tea-time-snack-garnishments. (An-old-lady-is-mixing-honey-into-her-tea-but-suddenly-men-in-suits-smash her-face-down-on-the-table-and-take-the-honey) OLD-LADY: Can't-breathe. (A-honey-truck-pulls-up-to-Barry's-hive) WORKER: Bring-it-in #boys! -: Hold-it-right-there!-Good. -: Tap-it. (Tons-of-honey-is-being-pumped-into-the-hive's-storage) BEE-WORKER-1#: (Honey-overflows-from-the-cup) Mr.-Buzzwell #we-just-passed-three-cups #and-there's-gallons-more-coming! -: --I-think-we-need-to-shut-down! =BEE-WORKER-#2= --Shut-down?-We've-never-shut-down. -: Shut-down-honey-production! DEAN-BUZZWELL: Stop-making-honey! (The-bees-all-leave-their-stations.-Two-bees-run-into-a-room-and-they-put the-keys-into-a-machine) Turn-your-key #sir! (Two-worker-bees-dramatically-turn-their-keys #which-opens-the-button-which they-press #shutting-down-the-honey-making-machines.-This-is-the-first-time this-has-ever-happened) BEE: ...What-do-we-do-now? (Flash-forward-in-time-and-a-Bee-is-about-to-jump-into-a-pool-full-of honey) Cannonball! (The-bee-gets-stuck-in-the-honey-and-we-get-a-short-montage-of-Bees-leaving work) (We-see-the-Pollen-Jocks-flying-but-one-of-them-gets-a-call-on-his-antenna) LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') We're-shutting-honey-production! -: Mission-abort. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Aborting-pollination-and-nectar-detail. Returning-to-base. (The-Pollen-Jocks-fly-back-to-the-hive) (We-get-a-time-lapse-of-Central-Park-slowly-wilting-away-as-the-bees-all relax) BARRY: Adam #you-wouldn't-believe how-much-honey-was-out-there. ADAM: Oh #yeah? BARRY: What's-going-on?-Where-is-everybody? (The-entire-street-is-deserted) -: --Are-they-out-celebrating? ADAM: --They're-home. -: They-don't-know-what-to-do. Laying-out #sleeping-in. -: I-heard-your-Uncle-Carl-was-on-his-way to-San-Antonio-with-a-cricket. BARRY: At-least-we-got-our-honey-back. ADAM: Sometimes-I-think #so-what-if-humans liked-our-honey?-Who-wouldn't? -: It's-the-greatest-thing-in-the-world! I-was-excited-to-be-part-of-making-it. -: This-was-my-new-desk.-This-was-my new-job.-I-wanted-to-do-it-really-well. -: And-now... -: Now-I-can't. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-Vanessa) BARRY: I-don't-understand why-they're-not-happy. -: I-thought-their-lives-would-be-better! -: They're-doing-nothing.-It's-amazing. Honey-really-changes-people. VANESSA: You-don't-have-any-idea what's-going-on #do-you? BARRY: --What-did-you-want-to-show-me? (Vanessa-takes-Barry-to-the-rooftop-where-they-first-had-coffee-and-points to-her-store) VANESSA: --This. (Points-at-her-flowers.-They-are-all-grey-and-wilting) BARRY: What-happened-here? VANESSA: That-is-not-the-half-of-it. (Small-flash-forward-in-time-and-Vanessa-and-Barry-are-on-the-roof-of-her store-and-she-points-to-Central-Park) (We-see-that-Central-Park-is-no-longer-green-and-colorful #rather-it-is grey #brown #and-dead-like.-It-is-very-depressing-to-look-at) BARRY: Oh #no.-Oh #my. -: They're-all-wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't-look-very-good #does-it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And-whose-fault-do-you-think-that-is? BARRY: You-know #I'm-gonna-guess-bees. VANESSA== (Staring-at-Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically #me. -: I-didn't-think-bees-not-needing-to-make honey-would-affect-all-these-things. VANESSA: It's-not-just-flowers. Fruits #vegetables #they-all-need-bees. BARRY: That's-our-whole-SAT-test-right-there. VANESSA: Take-away-produce #that-affects the-entire-animal-kingdom. -: And-then #of-course... BARRY: The-human-species? -: So-if-there's-no-more-pollination #: it-could-all-just-go-south-here #couldn't-it? VANESSA: I-know-this-is-also-partly-my-fault. BARRY: How-about-a-suicide-pact? VANESSA: How-do-we-do-it? BARRY: --I'll-sting-you #you-step-on-me. VANESSA: --That-just-kills-you-twice. BARRY: Right #right. VANESSA: Listen #Barry... sorry #but-I-gotta-get-going. (Vanessa-leaves) BARRY: (To-himself) I-had-to-open-my-mouth-and-talk. -: Vanessa? -: Vanessa?-Why-are-you-leaving? Where-are-you-going? (Vanessa-is-getting-into-a-taxi) VANESSA: To-the-final-Tournament-of-Roses-parade in-Pasadena. -: They've-moved-it-to-this-weekend because-all-the-flowers-are-dying. -: It's-the-last-chance I'll-ever-have-to-see-it. BARRY: Vanessa #I-just-wanna-say-I'm-sorry. I-never-meant-it-to-turn-out-like-this. VANESSA: I-know.-Me-neither. (The-taxi-starts-to-drive-away) BARRY: Tournament-of-Roses. Roses-can't-do-sports. -: Wait-a-minute.-Roses.-Roses? -: Roses! -: Vanessa! (Barry-flies-after-the-Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! -: Barry? (Barry-is-flying-outside-the-window-of-the-taxi) BARRY: --Roses-are-flowers! VANESSA: --Yes #they-are. BARRY: Flowers #bees #pollen! VANESSA: I-know. That's-why-this-is-the-last-parade. BARRY: Maybe-not. Could-you-ask-him-to-slow-down? VANESSA: Could-you-slow-down? (The-taxi-driver-screeches-to-a-stop-and-Barry-keeps-flying-forward) -: Barry! (Barry-flies-back-to-the-window) BARRY: OK #I-made-a-huge-mistake. This-is-a-total-disaster #all-my-fault. VANESSA: Yes #it-kind-of-is. BARRY: I've-ruined-the-planet. I-wanted-to-help-you -: with-the-flower-shop. I've-made-it-worse. VANESSA: Actually #it's-completely-closed-down. BARRY: I-thought-maybe-you-were-remodeling. -: But-I-have-another-idea #and-it's greater-than-my-previous-ideas-combined. VANESSA: I-don't-want-to-hear-it! BARRY: All-right #they-have-the-roses #the-roses-have-the-pollen. -: I-know-every-bee #plant and-flower-bud-in-this-park. -: All-we-gotta-do-is-get-what-they've-got back-here-with-what-we've-got. -: --Bees. VANESSA: --Park. BARRY: --Pollen! VANESSA: --Flowers. BARRY: --Re-pollination! VANESSA: --Across-the-nation! -: Tournament-of-Roses #Pasadena #California. -: They've-got-nothing but-flowers #floats-and-cotton-candy. -: Security-will-be-tight. BARRY: I-have-an-idea. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Vanessa-is-about-to-board-a-plane-which-has-all-the Roses-on-board. VANESSA: Vanessa-Bloome #FTD. (Holds-out-badge) -: Official-floral-business.-It's-real. SECURITY-GUARD: Sorry #ma'am.-Nice-brooch. =VANESSA== Thank-you.-It-was-a-gift. (Barry-is-revealed-to-be-hiding-inside-the-brooch) (Flash-back-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-discussing-their-plan) BARRY: Once-inside #we-just-pick-the-right-float. VANESSA: How-about-The-Princess-and-the-Pea? -: I-could-be-the-princess #and-you-could-be-the-pea! BARRY: Yes #I-got-it. -: --Where-should-I-sit? GUARD: --What-are-you? BARRY: --I-believe-I'm-the-pea. GUARD: --The-pea? VANESSA: It-goes-under-the-mattresses. GUARD: --Not-in-this-fairy-tale #sweetheart. --I'm-getting-the-marshal. VANESSA: You-do-that! This-whole-parade-is-a-fiasco! -: Let's-see-what-this-baby'll-do. (Vanessa-drives-the-float-through-traffic) GUARD: Hey #what-are-you-doing?! BARRY== Then-all-we-do is-blend-in-with-traffic... -: ...without-arousing-suspicion. -: Once-at-the-airport #there's-no-stopping-us. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-about-to-get-on-a-plane) SECURITY-GUARD: Stop!-Security. -: --You-and-your-insect-pack-your-float? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Has-it-been in-your-possession-the-entire-time? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Would-you-remove-your-shoes? (To-Barry) --Remove-your-stinger. BARRY: --It's-part-of-me. SECURITY-GUARD: I-know.-Just-having-some-fun. Enjoy-your-flight. (Barry-plotting-with-Vanessa) BARRY: Then-if-we're-lucky #we'll-have just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-flying-on-the-plane) Can-you-believe-how-lucky-we-are?-We have-just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job! VANESSA: I-think-this-is-gonna-work. BARRY: It's-got-to-work. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: (On-intercom) Attention #passengers #this-is-Captain-Scott. -: We-have-a-bit-of-bad-weather in-New-York. -: It-looks-like-we'll-experience a-couple-hours-delay. VANESSA: Barry #these-are-cut-flowers with-no-water.-They'll-never-make-it. BARRY: I-gotta-get-up-there and-talk-to-them. VANESSA== Be-careful. (Barry-flies-right-outside-the-cockpit-door) BARRY: Can-I-get-help with-the-Sky-Mall-magazine? I'd-like-to-order-the-talking inflatable-nose-and-ear-hair-trimmer. (The-flight-attendant-opens-the-door-and-walks-out-and-Barry-flies-into-the cockpit-unseen) BARRY: Captain #I'm-in-a-real-situation. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: --What'd-you-say #Hal? CO-PILOT-HAL: --Nothing. (Scott-notices-Barry-and-freaks-out) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No #no #no #Don't-freak-out!-My-entire-species... (Captain-Scott-gets-out-of-his-seat-and-tries-to-suck-Barry-into-a-handheld vacuum) HAL: (To-Scott) What-are-you-doing? (Barry-lands-on-Hals-hair-but-Scott-sees-him.-He-tries-to-suck-up-Barry-but instead-he-sucks-up-Hals-toupee) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: --Wait-a-minute!-I'm-an-attorney! HAL: (Hal-doesn't-know-Barry-is-on-his-head) --Who's-an-attorney? CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Don't-move. (Scott-hits-Hal-in-the-face-with-the-vacuum-in-an-attempt-to-hit-Barry.-Hal is-knocked-out-and-he-falls-on-the-life-raft-button-which-launches-an infalatable-boat-into-Scott #who-gets-knocked-out-and-falls-to-the-floor. They-are-both-uncounscious.) BARRY: (To-himself) Oh #Barry. BARRY: (On-intercom #with-a-Southern-accent) Good-afternoon #passengers. This-is-your-captain. -: Would-a-Miss-Vanessa-Bloome-in-24B please-report-to-the-cockpit? (Vanessa-looks-confused) (Normal-accent) ...And-please-hurry! (Vanessa-opens-the-door-and-sees-the-life-raft-and-the-uncounscious-pilots) VANESSA: What-happened-here? BARRY: I-tried-to-talk-to-them #but then-there-was-a-DustBuster #a-toupee #a-life-raft-exploded. -: Now-one's-bald #one's-in-a-boat #and-they're-both-unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is-that-another-bee-joke? BARRY: --No! -: No-one's-flying-the-plane! BUD-DITCHWATER: (Through-radio-on-plane) This-is-JFK-control-tower #Flight-356. What's-your-status? VANESSA: This-is-Vanessa-Bloome. I'm-a-florist-from-New-York. BUD: Where's-the-pilot? VANESSA: He's-unconscious #and-so-is-the-copilot. BUD: Not-good.-Does-anyone-onboard have-flight-experience? BARRY: As-a-matter-of-fact #there-is. BUD: --Who's-that? BARRY: --Barry-Benson. BUD: From-the-honey-trial?!-Oh #great. BARRY: Vanessa #this-is-nothing-more than-a-big-metal-bee. -: It's-got-giant-wings #huge-engines. VANESSA: I-can't-fly-a-plane. BARRY: --Why-not?-Isn't-John-Travolta-a-pilot? VANESSA: --Yes. BARRY: How-hard-could-it-be? (Vanessa-sits-down-and-flies-for-a-little-bit-but-we-see-lightning-clouds outside-the-window) VANESSA: Wait #Barry! We're-headed-into-some-lightning. (An-ominous-lightning-storm-looms-in-front-of-the-plane) (We-are-now-watching-the-Bee-News) BOB-BUMBLE: This-is-Bob-Bumble.-We-have-some late-breaking-news-from-JFK-Airport #: where-a-suspenseful-scene is-developing. -: Barry-Benson #fresh-from-his-legal-victory... ADAM: That's-Barry! BOB-BUMBLE: ...is-attempting-to-land-a-plane #loaded-with-people #flowers -: and-an-incapacitated-flight-crew. JANET #MARTIN #UNCLE-CAR-AND-ADAM: Flowers?! (The-scene-switches-to-the-human-news) REPORTER: (Talking-with-Bob-Bumble) We-have-a-storm-in-the-area and-two-individuals-at-the-controls -: with-absolutely-no-flight-experience. BOB-BUMBLE: Just-a-minute. There's-a-bee-on-that-plane. BUD: I'm-quite-familiar-with-Mr.-Benson and-his-no-account-compadres. -: They've-done-enough-damage. REPORTER: But-isn't-he-your-only-hope? BUD: Technically #a-bee shouldn't-be-able-to-fly-at-all. -: Their-wings-are-too-small... BARRY: (Through-radio) Haven't-we-heard-this-a-million-times? -: 'The-surface-area-of-the-wings and-body-mass-make-no-sense.'... BOB-BUMBLE: --Get-this-on-the-air! BEE: --Got-it. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --Stand-by. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --We're-going-live! BARRY: (Through-radio-on-TV) ...The-way-we-work-may-be-a-mystery-to-you. -: Making-honey-takes-a-lot-of-bees doing-a-lot-of-small-jobs. -: But-let-me-tell-you-about-a-small-job. -: If-you-do-it-well #it-makes-a-big-difference. -: More-than-we-realized. To-us #to-everyone. -: That's-why-I-want-to-get-bees back-to-working-together. -: That's-the-bee-way! We're-not-made-of-Jell-O. -: We-get-behind-a-fellow. -: --Black-and-yellow! BEES: --Hello! (The-scene-switches-and-Barry-is-teaching-Vanessa-how-to-fly) BARRY: Left #right #down #hover. VANESSA: --Hover? BARRY: --Forget-hover. VANESSA: This-isn't-so-hard. (Pretending-to-honk-the-horn) Beep-beep!-Beep-beep! (A-Lightning-bolt-hits-the-plane-and-autopilot-turns-off) Barry #what-happened?! BARRY: Wait #I-think-we-were on-autopilot-the-whole-time. VANESSA: --That-may-have-been-helping-me. BARRY: --And-now-we're-not! VANESSA: So-it-turns-out-I-cannot-fly-a-plane. (The-plane-plummets-but-we-see-Lou-Lu-Duva-and-the-Pollen-Jocks #along-with multiple-other-bees-flying-towards-the-plane) Lou-Lu-DUva: All-of-you #let's-get behind-this-fellow!-Move-it-out! -: Move-out! (The-scene-switches-back-to-Vanessa-and-Barry-in-the-plane) BARRY: Our-only-chance-is-if-I-do-what-I'd-do #you-copy-me-with-the-wings-of-the-plane! (Barry-sticks-out-his-arms-like-an-airplane-and-flys-in-front-of-Vanessa's face) VANESSA: Don't-have-to-yell. BARRY: I'm-not-yelling! We're-in-a-lot-of-trouble. VANESSA: It's-very-hard-to-concentrate with-that-panicky-tone-in-your-voice! BARRY: It's-not-a-tone.-I'm-panicking! VANESSA: I-can't-do-this! (Barry-slaps-Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa #pull-yourself-together. You-have-to-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: (Slaps-Barry) You-snap-out-of-it. BARRY: (Slaps-Vanessa) -: You-snap-out-of-it. VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! (We-see-that-all-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-under-the-plane) VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --Hold-it! BARRY: --Why?-Come-on #it's-my-turn. VANESSA: How-is-the-plane-flying? (The-plane-is-now-safely-flying) VANESSA: I-don't-know. (Barry's-antennae-rings-like-a-phone.-Barry-picks-up) BARRY: Hello? LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') Benson #got-any-flowers for-a-happy-occasion-in-there? (All-of-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-carrying-the-plane) BARRY: The-Pollen-Jocks! -: They-do-get-behind-a-fellow. LOU-LU-DUVA: --Black-and-yellow. POLLEN-JOCKS: --Hello. LOU-LU-DUVA: All-right #let's-drop-this-tin-can on-the-blacktop. BARRY: Where?-I-can't-see-anything.-Can-you? VANESSA: No #nothing.-It's-all-cloudy. -: Come-on.-You-got-to-think-bee #Barry. BARRY: --Thinking-bee. --Thinking-bee. (On-the-runway-there-are-millions-of-bees-laying-on-their-backs) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: Wait-a-minute. I-think-I'm-feeling-something. VANESSA: --What? BARRY: --I-don't-know.-It's-strong #pulling-me. -: Like-a-27-million-year-old-instinct. -: Bring-the-nose-down. BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! CONTROL-TOWER-OPERATOR: --What-in-the-world-is-on-the-tarmac? BUD: --Get-some-lights-on-that! (It-is-revealed-that-all-the-bees-are-organized-into-a-giant-pulsating flower-formation) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Vanessa #aim-for-the-flower. VANESSA: --OK. BARRY: Out-the-engines.-We're-going-in on-bee-power.-Ready #boys? LOU-LU-DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good.-Good.-Easy #now.-That's-it. -: Land-on-that-flower! -: Ready?-Full-reverse! -: Spin-it-around! (The-plane's-nose-is-pointed-at-a-flower-painted-on-a-nearby-plane) --Not-that-flower!-The-other-one! VANESSA: --Which-one? BARRY: --That-flower. (The-plane-is-now-pointed-at-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt.-He-freaks-out and-tries-to-take-a-picture-of-the-plane) VANESSA: --I'm-aiming-at-the-flower! BARRY: That's-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt. I-mean-the-giant-pulsating-flower made-of-millions-of-bees! (The-plane-hovers-over-the-bee-flower) -: Pull-forward.-Nose-down.-Tail-up. -: Rotate-around-it. VANESSA: --This-is-insane #Barry! BARRY: --This's-the-only-way-I-know-how-to-fly. BUD: Am-I-koo-koo-kachoo #or-is-this-plane flying-in-an-insect-like-pattern? (The-plane-is-unrealistically-hovering-and-spinning-over-the-bee-flower) BARRY: Get-your-nose-in-there.-Don't-be-afraid. Smell-it.-Full-reverse! -: Just-drop-it.-Be-a-part-of-it. -: Aim-for-the-center! -: Now-drop-it-in!-Drop-it-in #woman! -: Come-on #already. (The-bees-scatter-and-the-plane-safely-lands) VANESSA: Barry #we-did-it! You-taught-me-how-to-fly! BARRY: --Yes! (Vanessa-is-about-to-high-five-Barry) No-high-five! VANESSA: --Right. ADAM: Barry #it-worked! Did-you-see-the-giant-flower? BARRY: What-giant-flower?-Where?-Of-course I-saw-the-flower!-That-was-genius! ADAM: --Thank-you. BARRY: --But-we're-not-done-yet. -: Listen #everyone! -: This-runway-is-covered with-the-last-pollen -: from-the-last-flowers available-anywhere-on-Earth. -: That-means-this-is-our-last-chance. -: We're-the-only-ones-who-make-honey #pollinate-flowers-and-dress-like-this. -: If-we're-gonna-survive-as-a-species #this-is-our-moment!-What-do-you-say? -: Are-we-going-to-be-bees #or-just Museum-of-Natural-History-keychains? BEES: We're-bees! BEE-WHO-LIKES-KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then-follow-me!-Except-Keychain. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Hold-on #Barry.-Here. -: You've-earned-this. BARRY: Yeah! -: I'm-a-Pollen-Jock!-And-it's-a-perfect fit.-All-I-gotta-do-are-the-sleeves. (The-Pollen-Jocks-throw-Barry-a-nectar-collecting-gun.-Barry-catches-it) Oh #yeah. JANET: That's-our-Barry. (Barry-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-get-pollen-from-the-flowers-on-the-plane) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-over-NYC) -: (Barry-pollinates-the-flowers-in-Vanessa's-shop-and-then-heads-to-Central Park) BOY-IN-PARK: Mom!-The-bees-are-back! ADAM: (Putting-on-his-Krelman-hat) If-anybody-needs to-make-a-call #now's-the-time. -: I-got-a-feeling-we'll-be working-late-tonight! (The-bee-honey-factories-are-back-up-and-running) (Meanwhile-at-Vanessa's-shop) VANESSA: (To-customer) Here's-your-change.-Have-a-great afternoon!-Can-I-help-who's-next? -: Would-you-like-some-honey-with-that? It-is-bee-approved.-Don't-forget-these. (There-is-a-room-in-the-shop-where-Barry-does-legal-work-for-other-animals. He-is-currently-talking-with-a-Cow) COW: Milk #cream #cheese #it's-all-me. And-I-don't-see-a-nickel! -: Sometimes-I-just-feel like-a-piece-of-meat! BARRY: I-had-no-idea. VANESSA: Barry #I'm-sorry. Have-you-got-a-moment? BARRY: Would-you-excuse-me? My-mosquito-associate-will-help-you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry-I'm-late. COW: He's-a-lawyer-too? MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am #I-was-already-a-blood-sucking-parasite. All-I-needed-was-a-briefcase. VANESSA: Have-a-great-afternoon! -: Barry #I-just-got-this-huge-tulip-order #and-I-can't-get-them-anywhere. BARRY: No-problem #Vannie. Just-leave-it-to-me. VANESSA: You're-a-lifesaver #Barry. Can-I-help-who's-next? BARRY: All-right #scramble #jocks! It's-time-to-fly. VANESSA: Thank-you #Barry! (Ken-walks-by-on-the-sidewalk-and-sees-the-'bee-approved-honey'-in Vanessa's-shop) KEN: That-bee-is-living-my-life!! ANDY: Let-it-go #Kenny. KEN: --When-will-this-nightmare-end?! ANDY: --Let-it-all-go. BARRY: --Beautiful-day-to-fly. POLLEN-JOCK: --Sure-is. BARRY: Between-you-and-me #I-was-dying-to-get-out-of-that-office. (Barry-recreates-the-scene-near-the-beginning-of-the-movie-where-he-flies through-the-box-kite.-The-movie-fades-to-black-and-the-credits-being) [--after-credits;-No-scene-can-be-seen-but-the-characters-can-be-heard talking-over-the-credits--] You-have-got to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend! -: --Thinking-bee! --Me? BARRY: (Talking-over-singer) Hold-it.-Let's-just-stop for-a-second.-Hold-it. -: I'm-sorry.-I'm-sorry #everyone. Can-we-stop-here? SINGER: Oh #BarryBARRY: I'm-not-making-a-major-life-decision during-a-production-number! SINGER: All-right.-Take-ten #everybody. Wrap-it-up #guys. BARRY: I-had-virtually-no-rehearsal-for-that.

   #scriptscombeemoviebyjerryseinfeldnarratorblackscreenwithtextthesoundofbuzzingbeescanbeheardaccordingtoallknownlawsofaviation #thereisnowayabeeshouldbeabletoflyitswingsaretoosmalltogetitsfatlittlebodyoffthegroundthebee #ofcourse #fliesanywaybecausebeesdontcarewhathumansthinkisimpossiblebarrybensonbarryispickingoutashirtyellow #blackyellow #blackooh
5. 

   Gabbo the wafrn dev guy @[email protected] · 2023-10-17 · 11:26 UTC

   ok here we go

   #Scripts.com Bee-Movie By-Jerry-Seinfeld NARRATOR: (Black-screen-with-text;-The-sound-of-buzzing-bees-can-be-heard) According-to-all-known-laws of-aviation #: there-is-no-way-a-bee should-be-able-to-fly. -: Its-wings-are-too-small-to-get its-fat-little-body-off-the-ground. -: The-bee #of-course #flies-anyway -: because-bees-don't-care what-humans-think-is-impossible. BARRY-BENSON: (Barry-is-picking-out-a-shirt) Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. -: Ooh #black-and-yellow! Let's-shake-it-up-a-little. JANET-BENSON: Barry!-Breakfast-is-ready! BARRY: Coming! -: Hang-on-a-second. (Barry-uses-his-antenna-like-a-phone) -: Hello? ADAM-FLAYMAN: (Through-phone) --Barry? BARRY: --Adam? ADAM: --Can-you-believe-this-is-happening? BARRY: --I-can't.-I'll-pick-you-up. (Barry-flies-down-the-stairs) -: MARTIN-BENSON: Looking-sharp. JANET: Use-the-stairs.-Your-father paid-good-money-for-those. BARRY: Sorry.-I'm-excited. MARTIN: Here's-the-graduate. We're-very-proud-of-you #son. -: A-perfect-report-card #all-B's. JANET: Very-proud. (Rubs-Barry's-hair) BARRY= Ma!-I-got-a-thing-going-here. JANET: --You-got-lint-on-your-fuzz. BARRY: --Ow!-That's-me! JANET: --Wave-to-us!-We'll-be-in-row-118 #000. --Bye! (Barry-flies-out-the-door) JANET: Barry #I-told-you #stop-flying-in-the-house! (Barry-drives-through-the-hive #and-is-waved-at-by-Adam-who-is-reading-a newspaper) BARRY== --Hey #Adam. ADAM: --Hey #Barry. (Adam-gets-in-Barry's-car) -: --Is-that-fuzz-gel? BARRY: --A-little.-Special-day #graduation. ADAM: Never-thought-I'd-make-it. (Barry-pulls-away-from-the-house-and-continues-driving) BARRY: Three-days-grade-school #three-days-high-school... ADAM: Those-were-awkward. BARRY: Three-days-college.-I'm-glad-I-took a-day-and-hitchhiked-around-the-hive. ADAM== You-did-come-back-different. (Barry-and-Adam-pass-by-Artie #who-is-jogging) ARTIE: --Hi #Barry! BARRY: --Artie #growing-a-mustache?-Looks-good. ADAM: --Hear-about-Frankie? BARRY: --Yeah. ADAM== --You-going-to-the-funeral? BARRY: --No #I'm-not-going-to-his-funeral. -: Everybody-knows #sting-someone #you-die. -: Don't-waste-it-on-a-squirrel. Such-a-hothead. ADAM: I-guess-he-could-have just-gotten-out-of-the-way. (The-car-does-a-barrel-roll-on-the-loop-shaped-bridge-and-lands-on-the highway) -: I-love-this-incorporating an-amusement-park-into-our-regular-day. BARRY: I-guess-that's-why-they-say-we-don't-need-vacations. (Barry-parallel-parks-the-car-and-together-they-fly-over-the-graduating students) Boy #quite-a-bit-of-pomp... under-the-circumstances. (Barry-and-Adam-sit-down-and-put-on-their-hats) -: --Well #Adam #today-we-are-men. ADAM: --We-are! BARRY= --Bee-men. =ADAM= --Amen! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry-and-Adam-both-have-a-happy-spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students #faculty #distinguished-bees #: please-welcome-Dean-Buzzwell. DEAN-BUZZWELL: Welcome #New-Hive-Oity graduating-class-of... -: ...9: -: That-concludes-our-ceremonies. -: And-begins-your-career at-Honex-Industries! ADAM: Will-we-pick-our-job-today? (Adam-and-Barry-get-into-a-tour-bus) BARRY= I-heard-it's-just-orientation. (Tour-buses-rise-out-of-the-ground-and-the-students-are-automatically loaded-into-the-buses) TOUR-GUIDE: Heads-up!-Here-we-go. ANNOUNCER: Keep-your-hands-and-antennas inside-the-tram-at-all-times. BARRY: --Wonder-what-it'll-be-like? ADAM: --A-little-scary. TOUR-GUIDE== Welcome-to-Honex #a-division-of-Honesco -: and-a-part-of-the-Hexagon-Group. Barry: This-is-it! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The-bus-drives-down-a-road-an-on-either-side-are-the-Bee's-massive complicated-Honey-making-machines) TOUR-GUIDE: We-know-that-you #as-a-bee #have-worked-your-whole-life -: to-get-to-the-point-where-you can-work-for-your-whole-life. -: Honey-begins-when-our-valiant-Pollen Jocks-bring-the-nectar-to-the-hive. -: Our-top-secret-formula -: is-automatically-color-corrected #scent-adjusted-and-bubble-contoured -: into-this-soothing-sweet-syrup -: with-its-distinctive golden-glow-you-know-as... EVERYONE-ON-BUS: Honey! (The-guide-has-been-collecting-honey-into-a-bottle-and-she-throws-it-into the-crowd-on-the-bus-and-it-is-caught-by-a-girl-in-the-back) ADAM: --That-girl-was-hot. BARRY: --She's-my-cousin! ADAM== --She-is? BARRY: --Yes #we're-all-cousins. ADAM: --Right.-You're-right. TOUR-GUIDE: --At-Honex #we-constantly-strive -: to-improve-every-aspect of-bee-existence. -: These-bees-are-stress-testing a-new-helmet-technology. (The-bus-passes-by-a-Bee-wearing-a-helmet-who-is-being-smashed-into-the ground-with-fly-swatters #newspapers-and-boots.-He-lifts-a-thumbs-up-but you-can-hear-him-groan) -: ADAM== --What-do-you-think-he-makes? BARRY: --Not-enough. TOUR-GUIDE: Here-we-have-our-latest-advancement #the-Krelman. (They-pass-by-a-turning-wheel-with-Bees-standing-on-pegs #who-are-each wearing-a-finger-shaped-hat) Barry: --Wow #What-does-that-do? TOUR-GUIDE: --Catches-that-little-strand-of-honey -: that-hangs-after-you-pour-it. Saves-us-millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can-anyone-work-on-the-Krelman? TOUR-GUIDE: Of-course.-Most-bee-jobs-are small-ones. But-bees-know-that-every-small-job #if-it's-done-well #means-a-lot. -: But-choose-carefully -: because-you'll-stay-in-the-job you-pick-for-the-rest-of-your-life. (Everyone-claps-except-for-Barry) BARRY: The-same-job-the-rest-of-your-life? I-didn't-know-that. ADAM: What's-the-difference? TOUR-GUIDE: You'll-be-happy-to-know-that-bees #as-a-species #haven't-had-one-day-off -: in-27-million-years. BARRY: (Upset) So-you'll-just-work-us-to-death? -: We'll-sure-try. (Everyone-on-the-bus-laughs-except-Barry.-Barry-and-Adam-are-walking-back home-together) ADAM: Wow!-That-blew-my-mind! BARRY: 'What's-the-difference?' How-can-you-say-that? -: One-job-forever? That's-an-insane-choice-to-have-to-make. ADAM: I'm-relieved.-Now-we-only-have to-make-one-decision-in-life. BARRY: But #Adam #how-could-they never-have-told-us-that? ADAM: Why-would-you-question-anything? We're-bees. -: We're-the-most-perfectly functioning-society-on-Earth. BARRY: You-ever-think-maybe-things work-a-little-too-well-here? ADAM: Like-what?-Give-me-one-example. (Barry-and-Adam-stop-walking-and-it-is-revealed-to-the-audience-that hundreds-of-cars-are-speeding-by-and-narrowly-missing-them-in-perfect unison) BARRY: I-don't-know.-But-you-know what-I'm-talking-about. ANNOUNCER: Please-clear-the-gate. Royal-Nectar-Force-on-approach. BARRY: Wait-a-second.-Check-it-out. (The-Pollen-jocks-fly-in #circle-around-and-landing-in-line) -: --Hey #those-are-Pollen-Jocks! ADAM: --Wow. -: I've-never-seen-them-this-close. BARRY: They-know-what-it's-like outside-the-hive. ADAM: Yeah #but-some-don't-come-back. GIRL-BEES: --Hey #Jocks! --Hi #Jocks! (The-Pollen-Jocks-hook-up-their-backpacks-to-machines-that-pump-the-nectar to-trucks #which-drive-away) LOU-LO-DUVA: You-guys-did-great! -: You're-monsters! You're-sky-freaks! I-love-it! (Punching-the-Pollen-Jocks-in-joy) I-love-it! ADAM: --I-wonder-where-they-were. BARRY: --I-don't-know. -: Their-day's-not-planned. -: Outside-the-hive #flying-who-knows where #doing-who-knows-what. -: You-can't-just-decide-to-be-a-Pollen Jock.-You-have-to-be-bred-for-that. ADAM== Right. (Barry-and-Adam-are-covered-in-some-pollen-that-floated-off-of-the-Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look-at-that.-That's-more-pollen than-you-and-I-will-see-in-a-lifetime. ADAM: It's-just-a-status-symbol. Bees-make-too-much-of-it. BARRY: Perhaps.-Unless-you're-wearing-it and-the-ladies-see-you-wearing-it. (Barry-waves-at-2-girls-standing-a-little-away-from-them) ADAM== Those-ladies? Aren't-they-our-cousins-too? BARRY: Distant.-Distant. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Look-at-these-two. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Couple-of-Hive-Harrys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --Let's-have-fun-with-them. GIRL-BEE-#1: It-must-be-dangerous being-a-Pollen-Jock. BARRY: Yeah.-Once-a-bear-pinned-me against-a-mushroom! -: He-had-a-paw-on-my-throat #and-with-the-other #he-was-slapping-me! (Slaps-Adam-with-his-hand-to-represent-his-scenario) GIRL-BEE-#2: --Oh #my! BARRY: --I-never-thought-I'd-knock-him-out. GIRL-BEE-#1: (Looking-at-Adam) What-were-you-doing-during-this? ADAM: Obviously-I-was-trying-to-alert-the-authorities. BARRY: I-can-autograph-that. (The-pollen-jocks-walk-up-to-Barry-and-Adam #they-pretend-that-Barry-and Adam-really-are-pollen-jocks.) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: A-little-gusty-out-there-today #wasn't-it #comrades? BARRY: Yeah.-Gusty. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-hitting-a-sunflower-patch six-miles-from-here-tomorrow. BARRY: --Six-miles #huh? ADAM: --Barry! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: A-puddle-jump-for-us #but-maybe-you're-not-up-for-it. BARRY: --Maybe-I-am. ADAM: --You-are-not! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-going-0900-at-J-Gate. -: What-do-you-think #buzzy-boy? Are-you-bee-enough? BARRY: I-might-be.-It-all-depends on-what-0900-means. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-looking-out-on-the-hive-city-from-his-balcony-at night) MARTIN: Hey #Honex! BARRY: Dad #you-surprised-me. MARTIN: You-decide-what-you're-interested-in? BARRY: --Well #there's-a-lot-of-choices. --But-you-only-get-one. -: Do-you-ever-get-bored doing-the-same-job-every-day? MARTIN: Son #let-me-tell-you-about-stirring. -: You-grab-that-stick #and-you-just move-it-around #and-you-stir-it-around. -: You-get-yourself-into-a-rhythm. It's-a-beautiful-thing. BARRY: You-know #Dad #the-more-I-think-about-it #: maybe-the-honey-field just-isn't-right-for-me. MARTIN: You-were-thinking-of-what #making-balloon-animals? -: That's-a-bad-job for-a-guy-with-a-stinger. -: Janet #your-son's-not-sure he-wants-to-go-into-honey! JANET: --Barry #you-are-so-funny-sometimes. BARRY: --I'm-not-trying-to-be-funny. MARTIN: You're-not-funny!-You're-going into-honey.-Our-son #the-stirrer! JANET: --You're-gonna-be-a-stirrer? BARRY: --No-one's-listening-to-me! MARTIN: Wait-till-you-see-the-sticks-I-have. BARRY: I-could-say-anything-right-now. I'm-gonna-get-an-ant-tattoo! (Barry's-parents-don't-listen-to-him-and-continue-to-ramble-on) MARTIN: Let's-open-some-honey-and-celebrate! BARRY: Maybe-I'll-pierce-my-thorax. Shave-my-antennae. -: Shack-up-with-a-grasshopper.-Get a-gold-tooth-and-call-everybody-'dawg'! JANET: I'm-so-proud. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-and-Adam-waiting-in-line-to-get-a-job) ADAM: --We're-starting-work-today! BARRY: --Today's-the-day. ADAM: Come-on!-All-the-good-jobs will-be-gone. BARRY: Yeah #right. JOB-LISTER: Pollen-counting #stunt-bee #pouring #stirrer #front-desk #hair-removal... BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Is-it-still-available? JOB-LISTER: --Hang-on.-Two-left! -: One-of-them's-yours!-Congratulations! Step-to-the-side. ADAM: --What'd-you-get? BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Picking-crud-out.-Stellar! (He-walks-away) ADAM: Wow! JOB-LISTER: Couple-of-newbies? ADAM: Yes #sir!-Our-first-day!-We-are-ready! JOB-LISTER: Make-your-choice. (Adam-and-Barry-look-up-at-the-job-board.-There-are-hundreds-of-constantly changing-panels-that-contain-available-or-unavailable-jobs.-It-looks-very confusing) ADAM: --You-want-to-go-first? BARRY: --No #you-go. ADAM: Oh #my.-What's-available? JOB-LISTER: Restroom-attendant's-open #not-for-the-reason-you-think. ADAM: --Any-chance-of-getting-the-Krelman? JOB-LISTER: --Sure #you're-on. (Puts-the-Krelman-finger-hat-on-Adam's-head) (Suddenly-the-sign-for-Krelman-closes-out) -: I'm-sorry #the-Krelman-just-closed-out. (Takes-Adam's-hat-off) Wax-monkey's-always-open. ADAM: The-Krelman-opened-up-again. -: What-happened? JOB-LISTER: A-bee-died.-Makes-an-opening.-See? He's-dead.-Another-dead-one. -: Deady.-Deadified.-Two-more-dead. -: Dead-from-the-neck-up. Dead-from-the-neck-down.-That's-life! ADAM: Oh #this-is-so-hard! (Barry-remembers-what-the-Pollen-Jock-offered-him-and-he-flies-off) Heating #cooling #stunt-bee #pourer #stirrer #: humming #inspector-number-seven #lint-coordinator #stripe-supervisor #: mite-wrangler.-Barry #what do-you-think-I-should...-Barry? (Adam-turns-around-and-sees-Barry-flying-away) -: Barry! POLLEN-JOCK: All-right #we've-got-the-sunflower-patch in-quadrant-nine... ADAM: (Through-phone) What-happened-to-you? Where-are-you? BARRY: --I'm-going-out. ADAM: --Out?-Out-where? BARRY: --Out-there. ADAM: --Oh #no! BARRY: I-have-to #before-I-go to-work-for-the-rest-of-my-life. ADAM: You're-gonna-die!-You're-crazy! (Barry-hangs-up) Hello? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Another-call-coming-in. -: If-anyone's-feeling-brave #there's-a-Korean-deli-on-83rd -: that-gets-their-roses-today. BARRY: Hey #guys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1-== --Look-at-that. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Isn't-that-the-kid-we-saw-yesterday? LOU-LO-DUVA: Hold-it #son #flight-deck's-restricted. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: It's-OK #Lou.-We're-gonna-take-him-up. (Puts-hand-on-Barry's-shoulder) LOU-LO-DUVA: (To-Barry)-Really?-Feeling-lucky #are-you? BEE-WITH-CLIPBOARD: (To-Barry)-Sign-here #here.-Just-initial-that. -: --Thank-you. LOU-LO-DUVA: --OK. -: You-got-a-rain-advisory-today #: and-as-you-all-know #bees-cannot-fly-in-rain. -: So-be-careful.-As-always #watch-your-brooms #: hockey-sticks #dogs #birds #bears-and-bats. -: Also #I-got-a-couple-of-reports of-root-beer-being-poured-on-us. -: Murphy's-in-a-home-because-of-it #babbling-like-a-cicada! BARRY: --That's-awful. LOU-LO-DUVA: (Still-talking-through-megaphone) --And-a-reminder-for-you-rookies #: bee-law-number-one #absolutely-no-talking-to-humans! -: All-right #launch-positions! POLLEN-JOCKS: (The-Pollen-Jocks-run-into-formation) -: Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz! LOU-LU-DUVA: Black-and-yellow! POLLEN-JOCKS: Hello! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (To-Barry)You-ready-for-this #hot-shot? BARRY: Yeah.-Yeah #bring-it-on. POLLEN-JOCK's: Wind #check. -: --Antennae #check. --Nectar-pack #check. -: --Wings #check. --Stinger #check. BARRY: Scared-out-of-my-shorts #check. LOU-LO-DUVA: OK #ladies #: let's-move-it-out! -: Pound-those-petunias #you-striped-stem-suckers! -: All-of-you #drain-those-flowers! (The-pollen-jocks-fly-out-of-the-hive) BARRY: Wow!-I'm-out! -: I-can't-believe-I'm-out! -: So-blue. -: I-feel-so-fast-and-free! -: Box-kite! (Barry-flies-through-the-kite) -: Wow! -: Flowers! (A-pollen-jock-puts-on-some-high-tech-goggles-that-shows-flowers-similar-to heat-sink-goggles.) POLLEN-JOCK: This-is-Blue-Leader. We-have-roses-visual. -: Bring-it-around-30-degrees-and-hold. -: Roses! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: 30-degrees #roger.-Bringing-it-around. -: Stand-to-the-side #kid. It's-got-a-bit-of-a-kick. (The-pollen-jock-fires-a-high-tech-gun-at-the-flower #shooting-tubes-that suck-up-the-nectar-from-the-flower-and-collects-it-into-a-pouch-on-the-gun) BARRY: That-is-one-nectar-collector! POLLEN-JOCK-#1== --Ever-see-pollination-up-close? BARRY: --No #sir. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Barry-and-the-Pollen-jock-fly-over-the-field #the-pollen-jock-sprinkles pollen-as-he-goes) -: I-pick-up-some-pollen-here #sprinkle-it over-here.-Maybe-a-dash-over-there #: a-pinch-on-that-one. See-that?-It's-a-little-bit-of-magic. BARRY: That's-amazing.-Why-do-we-do-that? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: That's-pollen-power.-More-pollen #more flowers #more-nectar #more-honey-for-us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: I'm-picking-up-a-lot-of-bright-yellow. could-be-daisies.-Don't-we-need-those? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Copy-that-visual. -: Wait.-One-of-these-flowers seems-to-be-on-the-move. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Say-again?-You're-reporting a-moving-flower? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Affirmative. (The-Pollen-jocks-land-near-the-'flowers'-which #to-the-audience-are obviously-just-tennis-balls) KEN: (In-the-distance)-That-was-on-the-line! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: This-is-the-coolest.-What-is-it? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-know #but-I'm-loving-this-color. -: It-smells-good. Not-like-a-flower #but-I-like-it. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Yeah #fuzzy. (Sticks-his-hand-on-the-ball-but-it-gets-stuck) POLLEN-JOCK-#3== Chemical-y. (The-pollen-jock-finally-gets-his-hand-free-from-the-tennis-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Careful #guys.-It's-a-little-grabby. (The-pollen-jocks-turn-around-and-see-Barry-lying-his-entire-body-on-top-of one-of-the-tennis-balls) POLLEN-JOCK-#2: My-sweet-lord-of-bees! POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Candy-brain #get-off-there! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Pointing-upwards) Problem! (A-human-hand-reaches-down-and-grabs-the-tennis-ball-that-Barry-is-stuck to) BARRY: --Guys! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --This-could-be-bad. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Affirmative. (Vanessa-Bloome-starts-bouncing-the-tennis-ball #not-knowing-Barry-is-stick to-it) BARRY== Very-close. -: Gonna-hurt. -: Mama's-little-boy. (Barry-is-being-hit-back-and-forth-by-two-humans-playing-tennis.-He-is still-stuck-to-the-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: You-are-way-out-of-position #rookie! KEN: Coming-in-at-you-like-a-MISSILE! (Barry-flies-past-the-pollen-jocks #still-stuck-to-the-ball) BARRY: (In-slow-motion) Help-me! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-think-these-are-flowers. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: --Should-we-tell-him? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --I-think-he-knows. BARRY: What-is-this?! KEN: Match-point! -: You-can-start-packing-up #honey #because-you're-about-to-EAT-IT! (A-pollen-jock-coughs-which-confused-Ken-and-he-hits-the-ball-the-wrong-way with-Barry-stuck-to-it-and-it-goes-flying-into-the-city) BARRY: Yowser! (Barry-bounces-around-town-and-gets-stuck-in-the-engine-of-a-car.-He-flies into-the-air-conditioner-and-sees-a-bug-that-was-frozen-in-there) BARRY: Ew #gross. (The-man-driving-the-car-turns-on-the-air-conditioner-which-blows-Barry into-the-car) GIRL-IN-CAR: There's-a-bee-in-the-car! -: --Do-something! DAD-DRIVING-CAR: --I'm-driving! BABY-GIRL: (Waving-at-Barry) --Hi #bee. (Barry-smiles-and-waves-at-the-baby-girl) GUY-IN-BACK-OF-CAR: --He's-back-here! -: He's-going-to-sting-me! GIRL-IN-CAR: Nobody-move.-If-you-don't-move #he-won't-sting-you.-Freeze! (Barry-freezes-as-well #hovering-in-the-middle-of-the-car) -: GRANDMA-IN-CAR== He-blinked! (The-grandma-whips-out-some-bee-spray-and-sprays-everywhere-in-the-car #climbing-into-the-front-seat #still-trying-to-spray-Barry) GIRL-IN-CAR: Spray-him #Granny! DAD-DRIVING-THE-CAR: What-are-you-doing?! (Barry-escapes-the-car-through-the-air-conditioner-and-is-flying-high-above the-ground #safe.) BARRY: Wow...-the-tension-level out-here-is-unbelievable. (Barry-sees-that-storm-clouds-are-gathering-and-he-can-see-rain-clouds moving-into-this-direction) -: I-gotta-get-home. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-rain-drop-hits-Barry-and-one-of-his-wings-is-damaged) -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-second-rain-drop-hits-Barry-again-and-he-spirals-downwards) Mayday!-Mayday!-Bee-going-down! (WW2-plane-sound-effects-are-played-as-he-plummets #and-he-crash-lands-on-a plant-inside-an-apartment-near-the-window) VANESSA-BLOOME: Ken #could-you-close the-window-please? KEN== Hey #check-out-my-new-resume. I-made-it-into-a-fold-out-brochure. -: You-see? (Folds-brochure-resume-out) Folds-out. (Ken-closes-the-window #trapping-Barry-inside) BARRY: Oh #no.-More-humans.-I-don't-need-this. (Barry-tries-to-fly-away-but-smashes-into-the-window-and-falls-again) -: What-was-that? (Barry-keeps-trying-to-fly-out-the-window-but-he-keeps-being-knocked-back because-the-window-is-closed) Maybe-this-time.-This-time.-This-time. This-time!-This-time!-This... -: Drapes! (Barry-taps-the-glass.-He-doesn't-understand-what-it-is) That-is-diabolical. KEN: It's-fantastic.-It's-got-all-my-special skills #even-my-top-ten-favorite-movies. ANDY: What's-number-one?-Star-Wars? KEN: Nah #I-don't-go-for-that... (Ken-makes-finger-guns-and-makes-'pew-pew-pew'-sounds-and-then-stops) -: ...kind-of-stuff. BARRY: No-wonder-we-shouldn't-talk-to-them. They're-out-of-their-minds. KEN: When-I-leave-a-job-interview #they're flabbergasted #can't-believe-what-I-say. BARRY: (Looking-at-the-light-on-the-ceiling) There's-the-sun.-Maybe-that's-a-way-out. (Starts-flying-towards-the-lightbulb) -: I-don't-remember-the-sun having-a-big-75-on-it. (Barry-hits-the-lightbulb-and-falls-into-the-dip-on-the-table-that-the humans-are-sitting-at) KEN: I-predicted-global-warming. -: I-could-feel-it-getting-hotter. At-first-I-thought-it-was-just-me. (Andy-dips-a-chip-into-the-bowl-and-scoops-up-some-dip-with-Barry-on-it-and is-about-to-put-it-in-his-mouth) -: Wait!-Stop!-Bee! (Andy-drops-the-chip-with-Barry-in-fear-and-backs-away.-All-the-humans freak-out) -: Stand-back.-These-are-winter-boots. (Ken-has-winter-boots-on-his-hands-and-he-is-about-to-smash-the-bee-but Vanessa-saves-him-last-second) VANESSA: Wait! -: Don't-kill-him! (Vanessa-puts-Barry-in-a-glass-to-protect-him) KEN: You-know-I'm-allergic-to-them! This-thing-could-kill-me! VANESSA: Why-does-his-life-have less-value-than-yours? KEN: Why-does-his-life-have-any-less-value than-mine?-Is-that-your-statement? VANESSA: I'm-just-saying-all-life-has-value.-You don't-know-what-he's-capable-of-feeling. (Vanessa-picks-up-Ken's-brochure-and-puts-it-under-the-glass-so-she-can carry-Barry-back-to-the-window.-Barry-looks-at-Vanessa-in-amazement) KEN: My-brochure! VANESSA: There-you-go #little-guy. (Vanessa-opens-the-window-and-lets-Barry-out-but-Barry-stays-back-and-is still-shocked-that-a-human-saved-his-life) KEN: I'm-not-scared-of-him. It's-an-allergic-thing. VANESSA: Put-that-on-your-resume-brochure. KEN: My-whole-face-could-puff-up. ANDY: Make-it-one-of-your-special-skills. KEN: Knocking-someone-out is-also-a-special-skill. (Ken-walks-to-the-door) Right.-Bye #Vanessa.-Thanks. -: --Vanessa #next-week?-Yogurt-night? VANESSA: --Sure #Ken.-You-know #whatever. -: (Vanessa-tries-to-close-door) KEN== --You-could-put-carob-chips-on-there. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door-but-Ken-opens-it-again) KEN: --Supposed-to-be-less-calories. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door) (Fast-forward-to-the-next-day #Barry-is-still-inside-the-house.-He-flies into-the-kitchen-where-Vanessa-is-doing-dishes) BARRY== (Talking-to-himself) I-gotta-say-something. -: She-saved-my-life. I-gotta-say-something. -: All-right #here-it-goes. (Turns-back) Nah. -: What-would-I-say? -: I-could-really-get-in-trouble. -: It's-a-bee-law. You're-not-supposed-to-talk-to-a-human. -: I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this. -: I've-got-to. (Barry-disguises-himself-as-a-character-on-a-food-can-as-Vanessa-walks-by again) -: Oh #I-can't-do-it.-Come-on! -: No.-Yes.-No. -: Do-it.-I-can't. -: How-should-I-start-it? (Barry-strikes-a-pose-and-wiggles-his-eyebrows) 'You-like-jazz?' No #that's-no-good. (Vanessa-is-about-to-walk-past-Barry) Here-she-comes!-Speak #you-fool! -: ...Hi! (Vanessa-gasps-and-drops-the-dishes-in-fright-and-notices-Barry-on-the counter) -: I'm-sorry. VANESSA: --You're-talking. BARRY: --Yes #I-know. VANESSA: (Pointing-at-Barry) You're-talking! BARRY: I'm-so-sorry. VANESSA: No #it's-OK.-It's-fine. I-know-I'm-dreaming. -: But-I-don't-recall-going-to-bed. BARRY: Well #I'm-sure-this is-very-disconcerting. VANESSA: This-is-a-bit-of-a-surprise-to-me. I-mean #you're-a-bee! BARRY: I-am.-And-I'm-not-supposed to-be-doing-this #(Pointing-to-the-living-room-where-Ken-tried-to-kill-him-last-night) but-they-were-all-trying-to-kill-me. -: And-if-it-wasn't-for-you... -: I-had-to-thank-you. It's-just-how-I-was-raised. (Vanessa-stabs-her-hand-with-a-fork-to-test-whether-she's-dreaming-or-not) -: That-was-a-little-weird. VANESSA: --I'm-talking-with-a-bee. BARRY: --Yeah. VANESSA: I'm-talking-to-a-bee. And-the-bee-is-talking-to-me! BARRY: I-just-want-to-say-I'm-grateful. I'll-leave-now. (Barry-turns-to-leave) VANESSA: --Wait!-How-did-you-learn-to-do-that? BARRY: (Flying-back) --What? VANESSA: The-talking...thing. BARRY: Same-way-you-did #I-guess. 'Mama #Dada #honey.'-You-pick-it-up. VANESSA: --That's-very-funny. BARRY: --Yeah. -: Bees-are-funny.-If-we-didn't-laugh #we'd-cry-with-what-we-have-to-deal-with. -: Anyway... VANESSA: Can-I... -: ...get-you-something? BARRY: --Like-what? VANESSA: I-don't-know.-I-mean... I-don't-know.-Coffee? BARRY: I-don't-want-to-put-you-out. VANESSA: It's-no-trouble.-It-takes-two-minutes. -: --It's-just-coffee. BARRY: --I-hate-to-impose. (Vanessa-starts-making-coffee) VANESSA: --Don't-be-ridiculous! BARRY: --Actually #I-would-love-a-cup. VANESSA: Hey #you-want-rum-cake? BARRY: --I-shouldn't. VANESSA: --Have-some. BARRY: --No #I-can't. VANESSA: --Come-on! BARRY: I'm-trying-to-lose-a-couple-micrograms. VANESSA: --Where? BARRY: --These-stripes-don't-help. VANESSA: You-look-great! BARRY: I-don't-know-if-you-know anything-about-fashion. -: Are-you-all-right? VANESSA: (Pouring-coffee-on-the-floor-and-missing-the-cup-completely) No. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-sitting-together-at-a-table on-top-of-the-apartment-building-drinking-coffee) -: BARRY== He's-making-the-tie-in-the-cab as-they're-flying-up-Madison. -: He-finally-gets-there. -: He-runs-up-the-steps-into-the-church. The-wedding-is-on. -: And-he-says #'Watermelon? I-thought-you-said-Guatemalan. -: Why-would-I-marry-a-watermelon?' (Barry-laughs-but-Vanessa-looks-confused) VANESSA: Is-that-a-bee-joke? BARRY: That's-the-kind-of-stuff-we-do. VANESSA: Yeah #different. -: So #what-are-you-gonna-do #Barry? (Barry-stands-on-top-of-a-sugar-cube-floating-in-his-coffee-and-paddles-it around-with-a-straw-like-it's-a-gondola) BARRY: About-work?-I-don't-know. -: I-want-to-do-my-part-for-the-hive #but-I-can't-do-it-the-way-they-want. VANESSA: I-know-how-you-feel. BARRY: --You-do? VANESSA: --Sure. -: My-parents-wanted-me-to-be-a-lawyer-or a-doctor #but-I-wanted-to-be-a-florist. BARRY: --Really? VANESSA: --My-only-interest-is-flowers. BARRY: Our-new-queen-was-just-elected with-that-same-campaign-slogan. -: Anyway #if-you-look... (Barry-points-to-a-tree-in-the-middle-of-Central-Park) -: There's-my-hive-right-there.-See-it? VANESSA: You're-in-Sheep-Meadow! BARRY: Yes!-I'm-right-off-the-Turtle-Pond! VANESSA: No-way!-I-know-that-area. I-lost-a-toe-ring-there-once. BARRY: --Why-do-girls-put-rings-on-their-toes? VANESSA: --Why-not? BARRY: --It's-like-putting-a-hat-on-your-knee. VANESSA: --Maybe-I'll-try-that. (A-custodian-installing-a-lightbulb-looks-over-at-them-but-to-his perspective-it-looks-like-Vanessa-is-talking-to-a-cup-of-coffee-on-the table) CUSTODIAN: --You-all-right #ma'am? VANESSA: --Oh #yeah.-Fine. -: Just-having-two-cups-of-coffee! BARRY: Anyway #this-has-been-great. Thanks-for-the-coffee. VANESSA== Yeah #it's-no-trouble. BARRY: Sorry-I-couldn't-finish-it.-If-I-did #I'd-be-up-the-rest-of-my-life. (Barry-points-towards-the-rum-cake) -: Can-I-take-a-piece-of-this-with-me? VANESSA: Sure!-Here #have-a-crumb. (Vanessa-hands-Barry-a-crumb-but-it-is-still-pretty-big-for-Barry) BARRY: --Thanks! VANESSA: --Yeah. BARRY: All-right.-Well #then... I-guess-I'll-see-you-around. -: Or-not. VANESSA: OK #Barry... BARRY: And-thank-you so-much-again...-for-before. VANESSA: Oh #that?-That-was-nothing. BARRY: Well #not-nothing #but...-Anyway... (Vanessa-and-Barry-hold-hands #but-Vanessa-has-to-hold-out-a-finger-because her-hands-is-to-big-and-Barry-holds-that) (The-custodian-looks-over-again-and-it-appears-Vanessa-is-laughing-at-her coffee-again.-The-lightbulb-that-he-was-screwing-in-sparks-and-he-falls-off the-ladder) (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-two-Bee-Scientists-testing-out-a-parachute in-a-Honex-wind-tunnel) BEE-SCIENTIST-#1: This-can't-possibly-work. BEE-SCIENTIST-#2: He's-all-set-to-go. We-may-as-well-try-it. -: OK #Dave #pull-the-chute. (Dave-pulls-the-chute-and-the-wind-slams-him-against-the-wall-and-he-falls on-his-face.The-camera-pans-over-and-we-see-Barry-and-Adam-walking together) ADAM: --Sounds-amazing. BARRY: --It-was-amazing! -: It-was-the-scariest #happiest-moment-of-my-life. ADAM: Humans!-I-can't-believe you-were-with-humans! -: Giant #scary-humans! What-were-they-like? BARRY: Huge-and-crazy.-They-talk-crazy. -: They-eat-crazy-giant-things. They-drive-crazy. ADAM: --Do-they-try-and-kill-you #like-on-TV? BARRY: --Some-of-them.-But-some-of-them-don't. ADAM: --How'd-you-get-back? BARRY: --Poodle. ADAM: You-did-it #and-I'm-glad.-You-saw whatever-you-wanted-to-see. -: You-had-your-'experience.'-Now-you can-pick-out-your-job-and-be-normal. BARRY: --Well... ADAM: --Well? BARRY: Well #I-met-someone. ADAM: You-did?-Was-she-Bee-ish? -: --A-wasp?!-Your-parents-will-kill-you! BARRY: --No #no #no #not-a-wasp. ADAM: --Spider? BARRY: --I'm-not-attracted-to-spiders. -: I-know #for-everyone-else #it's-the-hottest-thing #with-the-eight-legs-and-all. -: I-can't-get-by-that-face. ADAM: So-who-is-she? BARRY: She's...-human. ADAM: No #no.-That's-a-bee-law. You-wouldn't-break-a-bee-law. BARRY: --Her-name's-Vanessa. (Adam-puts-his-head-in-his-hands) ADAM: --Oh #boy. BARRY== She's-so-nice.-And-she's-a-florist! ADAM: Oh #no!-You're-dating-a-human-florist! BARRY: We're-not-dating. ADAM: You're-flying-outside-the-hive #talking to-humans-that-attack-our-homes -: with-power-washers-and-M-80s! That's-one-eighth-a-stick-of-dynamite! BARRY: She-saved-my-life! And-she-understands-me. ADAM: This-is-over! BARRY: Eat-this. (Barry-gives-Adam-a-piece-of-the-crumb-that-he-got-from-Vanessa.-Adam-eats it) ADAM: (Adam's-tone-changes) This-is-not-over!-What-was-that? BARRY: --They-call-it-a-crumb. ADAM: --It-was-so-stingin'-stripey! BARRY: And-that's-not-what-they-eat. That's-what-falls-off-what-they-eat! -: --You-know-what-a-Cinnabon-is? ADAM: --No. (Adam-opens-a-door-behind-him-and-he-pulls-Barry-in) BARRY: It's-bread-and-cinnamon-and-frosting. ADAM: Be-quiet! BARRY: They-heat-it-up... ADAM: Sit-down! (Adam-forces-Barry-to-sit-down) BARRY: (Still-rambling-about-Cinnabons) ...really-hot! (Adam-grabs-Barry-by-the-shoulders) ADAM: --Listen-to-me! -: We-are-not-them!-We're-us. There's-us-and-there's-them! BARRY== Yes #but-who-can-deny the-heart-that-is-yearning? ADAM: There's-no-yearning. Stop-yearning.-Listen-to-me! -: You-have-got-to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend.-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEE: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEES-AND-ADAM: Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-is-laying-on-a-raft-in-a-pool-full-of-honey. He-is-wearing-sunglasses) JANET: There-he-is.-He's-in-the-pool. MARTIN: You-know-what-your-problem-is #Barry? (Barry-pulls-down-his-sunglasses-and-he-looks-annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I-gotta-start-thinking-bee? JANET: How-much-longer-will-this-go-on? MARTIN: It's-been-three-days! Why-aren't-you-working? (Puts-sunglasses-back-on) BARRY: I've-got-a-lot-of-big-life-decisions to-think-about. MARTIN: What-life?-You-have-no-life! You-have-no-job.-You're-barely-a-bee! JANET: Would-it-kill-you to-make-a-little-honey? (Barry-rolls-off-the-raft-and-sinks-into-the-honey-pool) -: Barry #come-out. Your-father's-talking-to-you. -: Martin #would-you-talk-to-him? MARTIN: Barry #I'm-talking-to-you! (Barry-keeps-sinking-into-the-honey-until-he-is-suddenly-in-Central-Park having-a-picnic-with-Vanessa) (Barry-has-a-cup-of-honey-and-he-clinks-his-glass-with-Vanessas.-Suddenly-a mosquito-lands-on-Vanessa-and-she-slaps-it #killing-it.-They-both-gasp-but then-burst-out-laughing) VANESSA: You-coming? (The-camera-pans-over-and-Vanessa-is-climbing-into-a-small-yellow-airplane) BARRY: Got-everything? VANESSA: All-set! BARRY: Go-ahead.-I'll-catch-up. (Vanessa-lifts-off-and-flies-ahead) VANESSA: Don't-be-too-long. (Barry-catches-up-with-Vanessa-and-he-sticks-out-his-arms-like-ana-irplane. He-rolls-from-side-to-side #and-Vanessa-copies-him-with-the-airplane) VANESSA: Watch-this! (Barry-stays-back-and-watches-as-Vanessa-draws-a-heart-in-the-air-using pink-smoke-from-the-plane #but-on-the-last-loop-the-loop-she-suddenly crashes-into-a-mountain-and-the-plane-explodes.-The-destroyed-plane-falls into-some-rocks-and-explodes-a-second-time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As-Barry-is-yelling-his-mouth-fills-with-honey-and-he-wakes-up #discovering-that-he-was-just-day-dreaming.-He-slowly-sinks-back-into-the honey-pool) MARTIN: --We're-still-here. JANET: --I-told-you-not-to-yell-at-him. -: He-doesn't-respond-to-yelling! MARTIN: --Then-why-yell-at-me? JANET: --Because-you-don't-listen! MARTIN: I'm-not-listening-to-this. BARRY: Sorry #I've-gotta-go. MARTIN: --Where-are-you-going? BARRY: --I'm-meeting-a-friend. JANET: A-girl?-Is-this-why-you-can't-decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry-flies-out-the-door-and-Martin-shakes-his-head) -: JANET== I-just-hope-she's-Bee-ish. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-sitting-on-Vanessa's-shoulder-and-she-is closing-up-her-shop) BARRY: They-have-a-huge-parade of-flowers-every-year-in-Pasadena? VANESSA: To-be-in-the-Tournament-of-Roses #that's-every-florist's-dream! -: Up-on-a-float #surrounded by-flowers #crowds-cheering. BARRY: A-tournament.-Do-the-roses compete-in-athletic-events? VANESSA: No.-All-right #I've-got-one. How-come-you-don't-fly-everywhere? BARRY: It's-exhausting.-Why-don't-you run-everywhere?-It's-faster. VANESSA: Yeah #OK #I-see #I-see. All-right #your-turn. BARRY: TiVo.-You-can-just-freeze-live-TV? That's-insane! VANESSA: You-don't-have-that? BARRY: We-have-Hivo #but-it's-a-disease. It's-a-horrible #horrible-disease. VANESSA: Oh #my. (A-human-walks-by-and-Barry-narrowly-avoids-him) PASSERBY: Dumb-bees! VANESSA: You-must-want-to-sting-all-those-jerks. BARRY: We-try-not-to-sting. It's-usually-fatal-for-us. VANESSA: So-you-have-to-watch-your-temper (They-walk-into-a-store) BARRY: Very-carefully. You-kick-a-wall #take-a-walk #: write-an-angry-letter-and-throw-it-out. Work-through-it-like-any-emotion: -: Anger #jealousy #lust. (Suddenly-an-employee(Hector)-hits-Barry-off-of-Vanessa's-shoulder.-Hector thinks-he's-saving-Vanessa) VANESSA: (To-Barry) Oh #my-goodness!-Are-you-OK? (Barry-is-getting-up-off-the-floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To-Hector) --What-is-wrong-with-you?! HECTOR: (Confused) --It's-a-bug. VANESSA: He's-not-bothering-anybody. Get-out-of-here #you-creep! (Vanessa-hits-Hector-across-the-face-with-the-magazine-he-had-and-then-hits him-in-the-head.-Hector-backs-away-covering-his-head) Barry: What-was-that?-A-Pic-'N'-Save-circular? (Vanessa-sets-Barry-back-on-her-shoulder) VANESSA: Yeah #it-was.-How-did-you-know? BARRY: It-felt-like-about-10-pages. Seventy-five-is-pretty-much-our-limit. VANESSA: You've-really-got-that down-to-a-science. BARRY: --Oh #we-have-to.-I-lost-a-cousin-to-Italian-Vogue. VANESSA: --I'll-bet. (Barry-looks-to-his-right-and-notices-there-is-honey-for-sale-in-the-aisle) BARRY: What-in-the-name of-Mighty-Hercules-is-this? (Barry-looks-at-all-the-brands-of-honey #shocked) How-did-this-get-here? Cute-Bee #Golden-Blossom #: Ray-Liotta-Private-Select? (Barry-puts-his-hands-up-and-slowly-turns-around #a-look-of-disgust-on-his face) VANESSA: --Is-he-that-actor? BARRY: --I-never-heard-of-him. -: --Why-is-this-here? VANESSA: --For-people.-We-eat-it. BARRY: You-don't-have enough-food-of-your-own?! (Hector-looks-back-and-notices-that-Vanessa-is-talking-to-Barry) VANESSA: --Well #yes. BARRY: --How-do-you-get-it? VANESSA: --Bees-make-it. BARRY: --I-know-who-makes-it! -: And-it's-hard-to-make-it! -: There's-heating #cooling #stirring. You-need-a-whole-Krelman-thing! VANESSA: --It's-organic. BARRY: --It's-our-ganic! VANESSA: It's-just-honey #Barry. BARRY: Just-what?! -: Bees-don't-know-about-this! This-is-stealing!-A-lot-of-stealing! -: You've-taken-our-homes #schools #hospitals!-This-is-all-we-have! -: And-it's-on-sale?! I'm-getting-to-the-bottom-of-this. -: I'm-getting-to-the-bottom of-all-of-this! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-paints-his-face-with-black-strikes-like-a soldier-and-sneaks-into-the-storage-section-of-the-store) (Two-men #including-Hector #are-loading-boxes-into-some-trucks) -: SUPERMARKET-EMPLOYEE== Hey #Hector. -: --You-almost-done? HECTOR: --Almost. (Barry-takes-a-step-to-peak-around-the-corner) (Whispering) He-is-here.-I-sense-it. -: Well #I-guess-I'll-go-home-now (Hector-pretends-to-walk-away-by-walking-in-place-and-speaking-loudly) -: and-just-leave-this-nice-honey-out #with-no-one-around. BARRY: You're-busted #box-boy! HECTOR: I-knew-I-heard-something! So-you-can-talk! BARRY: I-can-talk. And-now-you'll-start-talking! -: Where-you-getting-the-sweet-stuff? Who's-your-supplier? HECTOR: I-don't-understand. I-thought-we-were-friends. -: The-last-thing-we-want to-do-is-upset-bees! (Hector-takes-a-thumbtack-out-of-the-board-behind-him-and-sword-fights Barry.-Barry-is-using-his-stinger-like-a-sword) -: You're-too-late!-It's-ours-now! BARRY: You #sir #have-crossed the-wrong-sword! HECTOR: You #sir #will-be-lunch for-my-iguana #Ignacio! (Barry-hits-the-thumbtack-out-of-Hectors-hand-and-Hector-surrenders) Barry: Where-is-the-honey-coming-from? -: Tell-me-where! HECTOR: (Pointing-to-leaving-truck) Honey-Farms!-It-comes-from-Honey-Farms! (Barry-chases-after-the-truck-but-it-is-getting-away.-He-flies-onto-a bicyclists'-backpack-and-he-catches-up-to-the-truck) CAR-DRIVER: (To-bicyclist) Crazy-person! (Barry-flies-off-and-lands-on-the-windshield-of-the-Honey-farms-truck. Barry-looks-around-and-sees-dead-bugs-splattered-everywhere) BARRY: What-horrible-thing-has-happened-here? -: These-faces #they-never-knew what-hit-them.-And-now -: they're-on-the-road-to-nowhere! (Barry-hears-a-sudden-whisper) (Barry-looks-up-and-sees-Mooseblood #a-mosquito-playing-dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just-keep-still. BARRY: What?-You're-not-dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do-I-look-dead?-They-will-wipe-anything that-moves.-Where-you-headed? BARRY: To-Honey-Farms. I-am-onto-something-huge-here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm-going-to-Alaska.-Moose-blood #crazy-stuff.-Blows-your-head-off! ANOTHER-BUG-PLAYING-DEAD: I'm-going-to-Tacoma. (Barry-looks-at-another-bug) BARRY: --And-you? MOOSEBLOOD: --He-really-is-dead. BARRY: All-right. (Another-bug-hits-the-windshield-and-the-drivers-notice.-They-activate-the windshield-wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The-windshield-wipers-are-slowly-sliding-over-the-dead-bugs-and-wiping them-off) BARRY: --What-is-that?! MOOSEBLOOD: --Oh #no! -: --A-wiper!-Triple-blade! BARRY: --Triple-blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump-on!-It's-your-only-chance #bee! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-grab-onto-the-wiper-and-they-hold-on-as-it-wipes-the windshield) Why-does-everything-have to-be-so-doggone-clean?! -: How-much-do-you-people-need-to-see?! (Bangs-on-windshield) -: Open-your-eyes! Stick-your-head-out-the-window! RADIO-IN-TRUCK: From-NPR-News-in-Washington #I'm-Carl-Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But-don't-kill-no-more-bugs! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-are-washed-off-by-the-wipr-fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: --Bee! BARRY: --Moose-blood-guy!! (Barry-starts-screaming-as-he-hangs-onto-the-antenna) (Suddenly-it-is-revealed-that-a-water-bug-is-also-hanging-on-the-antenna. There-is-a-pause-and-then-Barry-and-the-water-bug-both-start-screaming) TRUCK-DRIVER: --You-hear-something? GUY-IN-TRUCK: --Like-what? TRUCK-DRIVER: Like-tiny-screaming. GUY-IN-TRUCK: Turn-off-the-radio. (The-antenna-starts-to-lower-until-it-gets-to-low-and-sinks-into-the-truck. The-water-bug-flies-off-and-Barry-is-forced-to-let-go-and-he-is-blown-away. He-luckily-lands-inside-a-horn-on-top-of-the-truck-where-he-finds Mooseblood #who-was-blown-into-the-same-place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup #bee-boy? BARRY: Hey #Blood. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-that-Barry-is-deep-in-conversation-with Mooseblood.-They-have-been-sitting-in-this-truck-for-a-while) BARRY: ...Just-a-row-of-honey-jars #as-far-as-the-eye-could-see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I-assume-wherever-this-truck-goes is-where-they're-getting-it. -: I-mean #that-honey's-ours. MOOSEBLOOD: --Bees-hang-tight. BARRY: --We're-all-jammed-in. -: It's-a-close-community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not-us #man.-We-on-our-own. Every-mosquito-on-his-own. BARRY: --What-if-you-get-in-trouble? MOOSEBLOOD: --You-a-mosquito #you-in-trouble. -: Nobody-likes-us.-They-just-smack. See-a-mosquito #smack #smack! BARRY: At-least-you're-out-in-the-world. You-must-meet-girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito-girls-try-to-trade-up #get-with-a-moth #dragonfly. -: Mosquito-girl-don't-want-no-mosquito. (An-ambulance-passes-by-and-it-has-a-blood-donation-sign-on-it) You-got-to-be-kidding-me! -: Mooseblood's-about-to-leave the-building!-So-long #bee! (Mooseblood-leaves-and-flies-onto-the-window-of-the-ambulance-where-there are-other-mosquito's-hanging-out) -: --Hey #guys! OTHER-MOSQUITO: --Mooseblood! MOOSEBLOOD: I-knew-I'd-catch-y'all-down-here. Did-you-bring-your-crazy-straw? (The-truck-goes-out-of-view-and-Barry-notices-that-the-truck-he's-on-is pulling-into-a-camp-of-some-sort) TRUCK-DRIVER: We-throw-it-in-jars #slap-a-label-on-it #and-it's-pretty-much-pure-profit. (Barry-flies-out) BARRY: What-is-this-place? BEEKEEPER-1#: A-bee's-got-a-brain the-size-of-a-pinhead. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-are-pinheads! -: Pinhead. -: --Check-out-the-new-smoker. BEEKEEPER-#1: --Oh #sweet.-That's-the-one-you-want. -: The-Thomas-3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER-#1: Ninety-puffs-a-minute #semi-automatic. Twice-the-nicotine #all-the-tar. -: A-couple-breaths-of-this knocks-them-right-out. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money. BARRY: 'They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money'? (The-Beekeeper-sprays-hundreds-of-cheap-miniature-apartments-with-the smoker.-The-bees-are-fainting-or-passing-out) Oh #my! -: What's-going-on?-Are-you-OK? (Barry-flies-into-one-of-the-apartment-and-helps-a-Bee-couple-get-off-the ground.-They-are-coughing-and-its-hard-for-them-to-stand) BEE-IN-APARTMENT: Yeah.-It-doesn't-last-too-long. BARRY: Do-you-know-you're in-a-fake-hive-with-fake-walls? BEE-IN-APPARTMENT: Our-queen-was-moved-here. We-had-no-choice. (The-apartment-room-is-completely-empty-except-for-a-photo-on-the-wall-of the-'queen'-who-is-obviously-a-man-in-women's-clothes) BARRY: This-is-your-queen? That's-a-man-in-women's-clothes! -: That's-a-drag-queen! -: What-is-this? (Barry-flies-out-and-he-discovers-that-there-are-hundreds-of-these structures #each-housing-thousands-of-Bees) Oh #no! -: There's-hundreds-of-them! (Barry-takes-out-his-camera-and-takes-pictures-of-these-Bee-work-camps.-The beekeepers-look-very-evil-in-these-depictions) Bee-honey. -: Our-honey-is-being-brazenly-stolen on-a-massive-scale! -: This-is-worse-than-anything-bears have-done!-I-intend-to-do-something. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-showing-these-pictures-to-his-parents) JANET: Oh #Barry #stop. MARTIN: Who-told-you-humans-are-taking our-honey?-That's-a-rumor. BARRY: Do-these-look-like-rumors? (Holds-up-the-pictures) UNCLE-CARL: That's-a-conspiracy-theory. These-are-obviously-doctored-photos. JANET: How-did-you-get-mixed-up-in-this? ADAM: He's-been-talking-to-humans. JANET: --What? MARTIN: --Talking-to-humans?! ADAM: He-has-a-human-girlfriend. And-they-make-out! JANET: Make-out?-Barry! BARRY: We-do-not. ADAM: --You-wish-you-could. MARTIN: --Whose-side-are-you-on? BARRY: The-bees! UNCLE-CARL: (He-has-been-sitting-in-the-back-of-the-room-this-entire-time) I-dated-a-cricket-once-in-San-Antonio. Those-crazy-legs-kept-me-up-all-night. JANET: Barry #this-is-what-you-want to-do-with-your-life? BARRY: I-want-to-do-it-for-all-our-lives. Nobody-works-harder-than-bees! -: Dad #I-remember-you coming-home-so-overworked -: your-hands-were-still-stirring. You-couldn't-stop. JANET: I-remember-that. BARRY: What-right-do-they-have-to-our-honey? -: We-live-on-two-cups-a-year.-They-put-it in-lip-balm-for-no-reason-whatsoever! ADAM: Even-if-it's-true #what-can-one-bee-do? BARRY: Sting-them-where-it-really-hurts. MARTIN: In-the-face!-The-eye! -: --That-would-hurt. BARRY: --No. MARTIN: Up-the-nose?-That's-a-killer. BARRY: There's-only-one-place-you-can-sting the-humans #one-place-where-it-matters. (Flash-forward-a-bit-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-Bee-News) BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: Hive-at-Five #the-hive's-only full-hour-action-news-source. BEE-PROTESTOR: No-more-bee-beards! BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: With-Bob-Bumble-at-the-anchor-desk. -: Weather-with-Storm-Stinger. -: Sports-with-Buzz-Larvi. -: And-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: --Good-evening.-I'm-Bob-Bumble. JEANETTE-CHUNG: --And-I'm-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: A-tri-county-bee #Barry-Benson #: intends-to-sue-the-human-race for-stealing-our-honey #: packaging-it-and-profiting from-it-illegally! JEANETTE-CHUNG: Tomorrow-night-on-Bee-Larry-King #: we'll-have-three-former-queens-here-in our-studio #discussing-their-new-book #: Classy-Ladies #out-this-week-on-Hexagon. (The-scene-changes-to-an-interview-on-the-news-with-Bee-version-of-Larry King-and-Barry) BEE-LARRY-KING: Tonight-we're-talking-to-Barry-Benson. -: Did-you-ever-think #'I'm-a-kid from-the-hive.-I-can't-do-this'? BARRY: Bees-have-never-been-afraid to-change-the-world. -: What-about-Bee-Columbus? Bee-Gandhi?-Bejesus? BEE-LARRY-KING: Where-I'm-from #we'd-never-sue-humans. -: We-were-thinking of-stickball-or-candy-stores. BARRY: How-old-are-you? BEE-LARRY-KING: The-bee-community is-supporting-you-in-this-case #: which-will-be-the-trial of-the-bee-century. BARRY: You-know #they-have-a-Larry-King in-the-human-world-too. BEE-LARRY-KING: It's-a-common-name.-Next-week... BARRY: He-looks-like-you-and-has-a-show and-suspenders-and-colored-dots... BEE-LARRY-KING: Next-week... BARRY: Glasses #quotes-on-the-bottom-from-the guest-even-though-you-just-heard-'em. BEE-LARRY-KING: Bear-Week-next-week! They're-scary #hairy-and-here #live. (Bee-Larry-King-gets-annoyed-and-flies-away-offscreen) BARRY: Always-leans-forward #pointy-shoulders #squinty-eyes #very-Jewish. (Flash-forward-in-time.-We-see-Vanessa-enter-and-Ken-enters-behind-her. They-are-arguing) KEN: In-tennis #you-attack at-the-point-of-weakness! VANESSA: It-was-my-grandmother #Ken.-She's-81. KEN== Honey #her-backhand's-a-joke! I'm-not-gonna-take-advantage-of-that? BARRY: (To-Ken) Quiet #please. Actual-work-going-on-here. KEN: (Pointing-at-Barry) --Is-that-that-same-bee? VANESSA: --Yes #it-is! -: I'm-helping-him-sue-the-human-race. BARRY: --Hello. KEN: --Hello #bee. VANESSA: This-is-Ken. BARRY: (Recalling-the-'Winter-Boots'-incident-earlier) Yeah #I-remember-you.-Timberland #size ten-and-a-half.-Vibram-sole #I-believe. KEN: (To-Vanessa) Why-does-he-talk-again? VANESSA: Listen #you-better-go 'cause-we're-really-busy-working. KEN: But-it's-our-yogurt-night! VANESSA: (Holding-door-open-for-Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why-is-yogurt-night-so-difficult?! (Ken-leaves-and-Vanessa-walks-over-to-Barry.-His-workplace-is-a-mess) VANESSA: You-poor-thing. You-two-have-been-at-this-for-hours! BARRY: Yes #and-Adam-here has-been-a-huge-help. ADAM: --Frosting... --How-many-sugars? -==BARRY== Just-one.-I-try-not to-use-the-competition. -: So-why-are-you-helping-me? VANESSA: Bees-have-good-qualities. -: And-it-takes-my-mind-off-the-shop. -: Instead-of-flowers #people are-giving-balloon-bouquets-now. BARRY: Those-are-great #if-you're-three. VANESSA: And-artificial-flowers. BARRY: --Oh #those-just-get-me-psychotic! VANESSA: --Yeah #me-too. -: BARRY: Bent-stingers #pointless-pollination. ADAM: Bees-must-hate-those-fake-things! -: Nothing-worse than-a-daffodil-that's-had-work-done. -: Maybe-this-could-make-up for-it-a-little-bit. VANESSA: --This-lawsuit's-a-pretty-big-deal. BARRY: --I-guess. ADAM: You-sure-you-want-to-go-through-with-it? BARRY: Am-I-sure?-When-I'm-done-with the-humans #they-won't-be-able -: to-say #'Honey #I'm-home #' without-paying-a-royalty! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-human-news.-The-camera-shows a-crowd-outside-a-courthouse) NEWS-REPORTER: It's-an-incredible-scene here-in-downtown-Manhattan #: where-the-world-anxiously-waits #because-for-the-first-time-in-history #: we-will-hear-for-ourselves if-a-honeybee-can-actually-speak. (We-are-no-longer-watching-through-a-news-camera) ADAM: What-have-we-gotten-into-here #Barry? BARRY: It's-pretty-big #isn't-it? ADAM== (Looking-at-the-hundreds-of-people-around-the-courthouse) I-can't-believe-how-many-humans don't-work-during-the-day. BARRY: You-think-billion-dollar-multinational food-companies-have-good-lawyers? SECURITY-GUARD: Everybody-needs-to-stay behind-the-barricade. (A-limousine-drives-up-and-a-fat-man #Layton-Montgomery #a-honey-industry owner-gets-out-and-walks-past-Barry) ADAM: --What's-the-matter? BARRY: --I-don't-know #I-just-got-a-chill. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-everyone-is-in-the-court) MONTGOMERY: Well #if-it-isn't-the-bee-team. (To-Honey-Industry-lawyers) You-boys-work-on-this? MAN: All-rise!-The-Honorable Judge-Bumbleton-presiding. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: All-right.-Case-number-4475 #: Superior-Court-of-New-York #Barry-Bee-Benson-v.-the-Honey-Industry -: is-now-in-session. -: Mr.-Montgomery #you're-representing the-five-food-companies-collectively? MONTGOMERY: A-privilege. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson...-you're-representing all-the-bees-of-the-world? (Everyone-looks-closely #they-are-waiting-to-see-if-a-Bee-can-really-talk) (Barry-makes-several-buzzing-sounds-to-sound-like-a-Bee) BARRY: I'm-kidding.-Yes #Your-Honor #we're-ready-to-proceed. JUDGE-BUMBLBETON: Mr.-Montgomery #your-opening-statement #please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies-and-gentlemen-of-the-jury #: my-grandmother-was-a-simple-woman. -: Born-on-a-farm #she-believed it-was-man's-divine-right -: to-benefit-from-the-bounty of-nature-God-put-before-us. -: If-we-lived-in-the-topsy-turvy-world Mr.-Benson-imagines #: just-think-of-what-would-it-mean. -: I-would-have-to-negotiate with-the-silkworm -: for-the-elastic-in-my-britches! -: Talking-bee! (Montgomery-walks-over-and-looks-closely-at-Barry) -: How-do-we-know-this-isn't-some-sort-of -: holographic-motion-picture-capture Hollywood-wizardry? -: They-could-be-using-laser-beams! -: Robotics!-Ventriloquism! Cloning!-For-all-we-know #: he-could-be-on-steroids! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson? BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #there's-no-trickery-here. -: I'm-just-an-ordinary-bee. Honey's-pretty-important-to-me. -: It's-important-to-all-bees. We-invented-it! -: We-make-it.-And-we-protect-it with-our-lives. -: Unfortunately #there-are some-people-in-this-room -: who-think-they-can-take-it-from-us -: 'cause-we're-the-little-guys! I'm-hoping-that #after-this-is-all-over #: you'll-see-how #by-taking-our-honey #you-not-only-take-everything-we-have -: but-everything-we-are! JANET== (To-Martin) I-wish-he'd-dress-like-that all-the-time.-So-nice! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Call-your-first-witness. BARRY: So #Mr.-Klauss-Vanderhayden of-Honey-Farms #big-company-you-have. KLAUSS-VANDERHAYDEN: I-suppose-so. BARRY: I-see-you-also-own Honeyburton-and-Honron! KLAUSS: Yes #they-provide-beekeepers for-our-farms. BARRY: Beekeeper.-I-find-that to-be-a-very-disturbing-term. -: I-don't-imagine-you-employ any-bee-free-ers #do-you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) --No. BARRY: --I-couldn't-hear-you. KLAUSS: --No. BARRY: --No. -: Because-you-don't-free-bees. You-keep-bees.-Not-only-that #: it-seems-you-thought-a-bear-would-be an-appropriate-image-for-a-jar-of-honey. KLAUSS: They're-very-lovable-creatures. -: Yogi-Bear #Fozzie-Bear #Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You-mean-like-this? (The-bear-from-Over-The-Hedge-barges-in-through-the-back-door-and-it-is roaring-and-standing-on-its-hind-legs.-It-is-thrashing-its-claws-and-people are-screaming.-It-is-being-held-back-by-a-guard-who-has-the-bear-on-a chain) -: (Pointing-to-the-roaring-bear) Bears-kill-bees! -: How'd-you-like-his-head-crashing through-your-living-room?! -: Biting-into-your-couch! Spitting-out-your-throw-pillows! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: OK #that's-enough.-Take-him-away. (The-bear-stops-roaring-and-thrashing-and-walks-out) BARRY: So #Mr.-Sting #thank-you-for-being-here. Your-name-intrigues-me. -: --Where-have-I-heard-it-before? MR.-STING: --I-was-with-a-band-called-The-Police. BARRY: But-you've-never-been a-police-officer #have-you? STING: No #I-haven't. BARRY: No #you-haven't.-And-so-here we-have-yet-another-example -: of-bee-culture-casually stolen-by-a-human -: for-nothing-more-than a-prance-about-stage-name. STING: Oh #please. BARRY: Have-you-ever-been-stung #Mr.-Sting? -: Because-I'm-feeling a-little-stung #Sting. -: Or-should-I-say...-Mr.-Gordon-M.-Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's-not-his-real-name?!-You-idiots! BARRY: Mr.-Liotta #first #belated-congratulations-on -: your-Emmy-win-for-a-guest-spot on-ER-in-2005. RAY-LIOTTA: Thank-you.-Thank-you. BARRY: I-see-from-your-resume that-you're-devilishly-handsome -: with-a-churning-inner-turmoil that's-ready-to-blow. RAY-LIOTTA: I-enjoy-what-I-do.-Is-that-a-crime? BARRY: Not-yet-it-isn't.-But-is-this what-it's-come-to-for-you? -: Exploiting-tiny #helpless-bees so-you-don't -: have-to-rehearse your-part-and-learn-your-lines #sir? RAY-LIOTTA: Watch-it #Benson! I-could-blow-right-now! BARRY: This-isn't-a-goodfella. This-is-a-badfella! (Ray-Liotta-looses-it-and-tries-to-grab-Barry) RAY-LIOTTA: Why-doesn't-someone-just-step-on this-creep #and-we-can-all-go-home?! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: --Order-in-this-court! RAY-LIOTTA: --You're-all-thinking-it! (Judge-Bumbleton-starts-banging-her-gavel) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Order!-Order #I-say! RAY-LIOTTA: --Say-it! MAN: --Mr.-Liotta #please-sit-down! (We-see-a-montage-of-magazines-which-feature-the-court-case) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-back-home-with-Vanessa) BARRY: I-think-it-was-awfully-nice of-that-bear-to-pitch-in-like-that. VANESSA: I-think-the-jury's-on-our-side. BARRY: Are-we-doing-everything-right #you-know #legally? VANESSA: I'm-a-florist. BARRY: Right.-Well #here's-to-a-great-team. VANESSA: To-a-great-team! (Ken-walks-in-from-work.-He-sees-Barry-and-he-looks-upset-when-he-sees Barry-clinking-his-glass-with-Vanessa) KEN: Well #hello. VANESSA: --Oh #Ken! BARRY: --Hello! VANESSA: I-didn't-think-you-were-coming. -: No #I-was-just-late. I-tried-to-call #but... (Ken-holds-up-his-phone-and-flips-it-open.-The-phone-has-no-charge) ...the-battery... VANESSA: I-didn't-want-all-this-to-go-to-waste #so-I-called-Barry.-Luckily #he-was-free. KEN: Oh #that-was-lucky. (Ken-sits-down-at-the-table-across-from-Barry-and-Vanessa-leaves-the-room) VANESSA: There's-a-little-left. I-could-heat-it-up. KEN: (Not-taking-his-eyes-off-Barry) Yeah #heat-it-up #sure #whatever. BARRY: So-I-hear-you're-quite-a-tennis-player. -: I'm-not-much-for-the-game-myself. The-ball's-a-little-grabby. KEN: That's-where-I-usually-sit. Right... (Points-to-where-Barry-is-sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling-from-other-room) Ken #Barry-was-looking-at-your-resume #: and-he-agreed-with-me-that-eating-with chopsticks-isn't-really-a-special-skill. KEN: (To-Barry) You-think-I-don't-see-what-you're-doing? BARRY: I-know-how-hard-it-is-to-find the-right-job.-We-have-that-in-common. KEN: Do-we? BARRY: Bees-have-100-percent-employment #but-we-do-jobs-like-taking-the-crud-out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's-just-what I-was-thinking-about-doing. (Ken-reaches-for-a-fork-on-the-table-but-knocks-if-on-the-floor.-He-goes-to pick-it-up) VANESSA: Ken #I-let-Barry-borrow-your-razor for-his-fuzz.-I-hope-that-was-all-right. (Ken-quickly-rises-back-up-after-hearing-this-but-hits-his-head-on-the table-and-yells) BARRY: I'm-going-to-drain-the-old-stinger. KEN: Yeah #you-do-that. (Barry-flies-past-Ken-to-get-to-the-bathroom-and-Ken-freaks-out #splashing some-of-the-wine-he-was-using-to-cool-his-head-in-his-eyes.-He-yells-in anger) (Barry-looks-at-the-magazines-featuring-his-victories-in-court) BARRY: Look-at-that. (Barry-flies-into-the-bathroom) (He-puts-his-hand-on-his-head-but-this-makes-hurts-him-and-makes-him-even madder.-He-yells-again) (Barry-is-washing-his-hands-in-the-sink-but-then-Ken-walks-in) KEN: You-know #you-know-I've-just-about-had-it (Closes-bathroom-door-behind-him) with-your-little-mind-games. (Ken-is-menacingly-rolling-up-a-magazine) BARRY: (Backing-away) --What's-that? KEN: --Italian-Vogue. BARRY: Mamma-mia #that's-a-lot-of-pages. KEN: It's-a-lot-of-ads. BARRY: Remember-what-Van-said #why-is your-life-more-valuable-than-mine? KEN: That's-funny #I-just-can't-seem-to-recall-that! (Ken-smashes-everything-off-the-sink-with-the-magazine-and-Barry-narrowly escapes) (Ken-follows-Barry-around-and-tries-to-hit-him-with-the-magazine-but-he keeps-missing) (Ken-gets-a-spray-bottle) -: I-think-something-stinks-in-here! BARRY: (Enjoying-the-spray) I-love-the-smell-of-flowers. (Ken-holds-a-lighter-in-front-of-the-spray-bottle) KEN: How-do-you-like-the-smell-of-flames?! BARRY: Not-as-much. (Ken-fires-his-make-shift-flamethrower-but-misses-Barry #burning-the bathroom.-He-torches-the-whole-room-but-looses-his-footing-and-falls-into the-bathtub.-After-getting-hit-in-the-head-by-falling-objects-3-times-he picks-up-the-shower-head #revealing-a-Water-bug-hiding-under-it) WATER-BUG: Water-bug!-Not-taking-sides! (Barry-gets-up-out-of-a-pile-of-bathroom-supplies-and-he-is-wearing-a chapstick-hat) BARRY: Ken #I'm-wearing-a-Chapstick-hat! This-is-pathetic! (Ken-switches-the-shower-head-to-lethal) KEN: I've-got-issues! (Ken-sprays-Barry-with-the-shower-head-and-he-crash-lands-into-the-toilet) (Ken-menacingly-looks-down-into-the-toilet-at-Barry) Well #well #well #a-royal-flush! BARRY: --You're-bluffing. KEN: --Am-I? (flushes-toilet) (Barry-grabs-a-chapstick-from-the-toilet-seat-and-uses-it-to-surf-in-the flushing-toilet) BARRY: Surf's-up #dude! (Barry-flies-out-of-the-toilet-on-the-chapstick-and-sprays-Ken's-face-with the-toilet-water) -: EW #Poo-water! BARRY: That-bowl-is-gnarly. KEN: (Aiming-a-toilet-cleaner-at-Barry) Except-for-those-dirty-yellow-rings! (Barry-cowers-and-covers-his-head-and-Vanessa-runs-in-and-takes-the-toilet cleaner-from-Ken-just-before-he-hits-Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth!-What-are-you-doing?! KEN== (Leaning-towards-Barry) You-know #I-don't-even-like-honey! I-don't-eat-it! VANESSA: We-need-to-talk! (Vanessa-pulls-Ken-out-of-the-bathroom) -: He's-just-a-little-bee! -: And-he-happens-to-be the-nicest-bee-I've-met-in-a-long-time! KEN: Long-time?-What-are-you-talking-about?! Are-there-other-bugs-in-your-life? VANESSA: No #but-there-are-other-things-bugging me-in-life.-And-you're-one-of-them! KEN: Fine!-Talking-bees #no-yogurt-night... -: My-nerves-are-fried-from-riding on-this-emotional-roller-coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye #Ken. (Ken-huffs-and-walks-out-and-slams-the-door.-But-suddenly-he-walks-back-in and-stares-at-Barry) -: And-for-your-information #I-prefer-sugar-free #artificial sweeteners-MADE-BY-MAN! (Ken-leaves-again-and-Vanessa-leans-in-towards-Barry) VANESSA: I'm-sorry-about-all-that. (Ken-walks-back-in-again) KEN: I-know-it's-got an-aftertaste!-I-LIKE-IT! (Ken-leaves-for-the-last-time) VANESSA: I-always-felt-there-was-some-kind of-barrier-between-Ken-and-me. -: I-couldn't-overcome-it. Oh #well. -: Are-you-OK-for-the-trial? BARRY: I-believe-Mr.-Montgomery is-about-out-of-ideas. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry #Adam #and-Vanessa-are-back-in-court) MONTGOMERY-- We-would-like-to-call Mr.-Barry-Benson-Bee-to-the-stand. ADAM: Good-idea!-You-can-really-see-why-he's considered-one-of-the-best-lawyers... (Barry-stares-at-Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton #you've gotta-weave-some-magic with-this-jury #or-it's-gonna-be-all-over. MONTGOMERY: Don't-worry.-The-only-thing-I-have to-do-to-turn-this-jury-around -: is-to-remind-them of-what-they-don't-like-about-bees. (To-lawyer) --You-got-the-tweezers? LAWYER: --Are-you-allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only-to-losing #son.-Only-to-losing. -: Mr.-Benson-Bee #I'll-ask-you what-I-think-we'd-all-like-to-know. -: What-exactly-is-your-relationship (Points-to-Vanessa) -: to-that-woman? BARRY: We're-friends. MONTGOMERY: --Good-friends? BARRY: --Yes. MONTGOMERY: How-good?-Do-you-live-together? ADAM: Wait-a-minute... -: MONTGOMERY: Are-you-her-little... -: ...bedbug? (Adam's-stinger-starts-vibrating.-He-is-agitated) I've-seen-a-bee-documentary-or-two. From-what-I-understand #: doesn't-your-queen-give-birth to-all-the-bee-children? BARRY: --Yeah #but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing-at-Janet-and-Martin) --So-those-aren't-your-real-parents! JANET: --Oh #Barry... BARRY: --Yes #they-are! ADAM: Hold-me-back! (Vanessa-tries-to-hold-Adam-back.-He-wants-to-sting-Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're-an-illegitimate-bee #aren't-you #Benson? ADAM: He's-denouncing-bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't-y'all-date-your-cousins? (Montgomery-leans-over-on-the-jury-stand-and-stares-at-Adam) VANESSA: --Objection! (Vanessa-raises-her-hand-to-object-but-Adam-gets-free.-He-flies-straight-at Montgomery) =ADAM: --I'm-going-to-pincushion-this-guy! BARRY: Adam #don't!-It's-what-he-wants! (Adam-stings-Montgomery-in-the-butt-and-he-starts-thrashing-around) MONTGOMERY: Oh #I'm-hit!! -: Oh #lordy #I-am-hit! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: (Banging-gavel) Order!-Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The-venom!-The-venom is-coursing-through-my-veins! -: I-have-been-felled by-a-winged-beast-of-destruction! -: You-see?-You-can't-treat-them like-equals!-They're-striped-savages! -: Stinging's-the-only-thing they-know!-It's-their-way! BARRY: --Adam #stay-with-me. ADAM: --I-can't-feel-my-legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting-and-throwing-his-body-around-the-room) What-angel-of-mercy will-come-forward-to-suck-the-poison -: from-my-heaving-buttocks? JUDGE-BUMLBETON: I-will-have-order-in-this-court.-Order! -: Order #please! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-see-a-human-news-reporter) NEWS-REPORTER: The-case-of-the-honeybees versus-the-human-race -: took-a-pointed-turn-against-the-bees -: yesterday-when-one-of-their-legal team-stung-Layton-T.-Montgomery. (Adam-is-laying-in-a-hospital-bed-and-Barry-flies-in-to-see-him) BARRY: --Hey #buddy. ADAM: --Hey. BARRY: --Is-there-much-pain? ADAM: --Yeah. -: I... -: I-blew-the-whole-case #didn't-I? BARRY: It-doesn't-matter.-What-matters-is you're-alive.-You-could-have-died. ADAM: I'd-be-better-off-dead.-Look-at-me. (A-small-plastic-sword-is-replaced-as-Adam's-stinger) They-got-it-from-the-cafeteria downstairs #in-a-tuna-sandwich. -: Look #there's a-little-celery-still-on-it. (Flicks-off-the-celery-and-sighs) BARRY: What-was-it-like-to-sting-someone? ADAM: I-can't-explain-it.-It-was-all... -: All-adrenaline-and-then... and-then-ecstasy! BARRY: ...All-right. ADAM: You-think-it-was-all-a-trap? BARRY: Of-course.-I'm-sorry. I-flew-us-right-into-this. -: What-were-we-thinking?-Look-at-us.-We're just-a-couple-of-bugs-in-this-world. ADAM: What-will-the-humans-do-to-us if-they-win? BARRY: I-don't-know. ADAM: I-hear-they-put-the-roaches-in-motels. That-doesn't-sound-so-bad. BARRY: Adam #they-check-in #but-they-don't-check-out! ADAM: Oh #my. (Coughs) Could-you-get-a-nurse to-close-that-window? BARRY: --Why? ADAM: --The-smoke. (We-can-see-that-two-humans-are-smoking-cigarettes-outside) -: Bees-don't-smoke. BARRY: Right.-Bees-don't-smoke. -: Bees-don't-smoke! But-some-bees-are-smoking. -: That's-it!-That's-our-case! ADAM: It-is?-It's-not-over? BARRY: Get-dressed.-I've-gotta-go-somewhere. -: Get-back-to-the-court-and-stall. Stall-any-way-you-can. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Adam-is-making-a-paper-boat-in-the-courtroom) ADAM: And-assuming-you've-done-step-29-correctly #you're-ready-for-the-tub! (We-see-that-the-jury-have-each-made-their-own-paper-boats-after-being taught-how-by-Adam.-They-all-look-confused) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman. ADAM: Yes?-Yes #Your-Honor! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Where-is-the-rest-of-your-team? ADAM: (Continues-stalling) Well #Your-Honor #it's-interesting. -: Bees-are-trained-to-fly-haphazardly #: and-as-a-result #we-don't-make-very-good-time. -: I-actually-heard-a-funny-story-about... MONTGOMERY: Your-Honor #haven't-these-ridiculous-bugs -: taken-up-enough of-this-court's-valuable-time? -: How-much-longer-will-we-allow these-absurd-shenanigans-to-go-on? -: They-have-presented-no-compelling evidence-to-support-their-charges -: against-my-clients #who-run-legitimate-businesses. -: I-move-for-a-complete-dismissal of-this-entire-case! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman #I'm-afraid-I'm-going -: to-have-to-consider Mr.-Montgomery's-motion. ADAM: But-you-can't!-We-have-a-terrific-case. MONTGOMERY: Where-is-your-proof? Where-is-the-evidence? -: Show-me-the-smoking-gun! BARRY: (Barry-flies-in-through-the-door) Hold-it #Your-Honor! You-want-a-smoking-gun? -: Here-is-your-smoking-gun. (Vanessa-walks-in-holding-a-bee-smoker.-She-sets-it-down-on-the-Judge's podium) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: What-is-that? BARRY: It's-a-bee-smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks-up-smoker) What #this? This-harmless-little-contraption? -: This-couldn't-hurt-a-fly #let-alone-a-bee. (Montgomery-accidentally-fires-it-at-the-bees-in-the-crowd-and-they-faint and-cough) (Dozens-of-reporters-start-taking-pictures-of-the-suffering-bees) BARRY: Look-at-what-has-happened -: to-bees-who-have-never-been-asked #'Smoking-or-non?' -: Is-this-what-nature-intended-for-us? -: To-be-forcibly-addicted to-smoke-machines -: and-man-made-wooden-slat-work-camps? -: Living-out-our-lives-as-honey-slaves to-the-white-man? (Barry-points-to-the-honey-industry-owners.-One-of-them-is-an-African American-so-he-awkwardly-separates-himself-from-the-others) LAWYER: --What-are-we-gonna-do? --He's-playing-the-species-card. BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #please #free-these-bees! ADAM-AND-VANESSA: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! BEES-IN-CROWD: Free-the-bees! HUMAN-JURY: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: The-court-finds-in-favor-of-the-bees! BARRY: Vanessa #we-won! VANESSA: I-knew-you-could-do-it!-High-five! (Vanessa-hits-Barry-hard-because-her-hand-is-too-big) -: Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm-OK!-You-know-what-this-means? -: All-the-honey will-finally-belong-to-the-bees. -: Now-we-won't-have to-work-so-hard-all-the-time. MONTGOMERY: This-is-an-unholy-perversion of-the-balance-of-nature #Benson. -: You'll-regret-this. (Montgomery-leaves-and-Barry-goes-outside-the-courtroom.-Several-reporters start-asking-Barry-questions) REPORTER-1#: Barry #how-much-honey-is-out-there? BARRY: All-right.-One-at-a-time. REPORTER-2#: Barry #who-are-you-wearing? BARRY: My-sweater-is-Ralph-Lauren #and-I-have-no-pants. (Barry-flies-outside-with-the-paparazzi-and-Adam-and-Vanessa-stay-back) ADAM: (To-Vanessa) --What-if-Montgomery's-right? Vanessa: --What-do-you-mean? ADAM: We've-been-living-the-bee-way a-long-time #27-million-years. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-a-man) BUSINESS-MAN: Congratulations-on-your-victory. What-will-you-demand-as-a-settlement? BARRY: First #we'll-demand-a-complete-shutdown of-all-bee-work-camps. (As-Barry-is-talking-we-see-a-montage-of-men-putting-'closed'-tape-over-the work-camps-and-freeing-the-bees-in-the-crappy-apartments) Then-we-want-back-the-honey that-was-ours-to-begin-with #: every-last-drop. (Men-in-suits-are-pushing-all-the-honey-of-the-aisle-and-into-carts) We-demand-an-end-to-the-glorification of-the-bear-as-anything-more (We-see-a-statue-of-a-bear-shaped-honey-container-being-pulled-down-by bees) than-a-filthy #smelly #bad-breath-stink-machine. -: We're-all-aware of-what-they-do-in-the-woods. (We-see-Winnie-the-Pooh-sharing-his-honey-with-Piglet-in-the-cross-hairs-of a-high-tech-sniper-rifle) BARRY: (Looking-through-binoculars) Wait-for-my-signal. -: Take-him-out. (Winnie-gets-hit-by-a-tranquilizer-dart-and-dramatically-falls-off-the-log he-was-standing-on #his-tongue-hanging-out.-Piglet-looks-at-Pooh-in-fear and-the-Sniper-takes-the-honey.) SNIPER: He'll-have-nausea for-a-few-hours #then-he'll-be-fine. (Flash-forward-in-time) BARRY: And-we-will-no-longer-tolerate bee-negative-nicknames... (Mr.-Sting-is-sitting-at-home-until-he-is-taken-out-of-his-house-by-the-men in-suits) STING: But-it's-just-a-prance-about-stage-name! BARRY: ...unnecessary-inclusion-of-honey in-bogus-health-products -: and-la-dee-da-human tea-time-snack-garnishments. (An-old-lady-is-mixing-honey-into-her-tea-but-suddenly-men-in-suits-smash her-face-down-on-the-table-and-take-the-honey) OLD-LADY: Can't-breathe. (A-honey-truck-pulls-up-to-Barry's-hive) WORKER: Bring-it-in #boys! -: Hold-it-right-there!-Good. -: Tap-it. (Tons-of-honey-is-being-pumped-into-the-hive's-storage) BEE-WORKER-1#: (Honey-overflows-from-the-cup) Mr.-Buzzwell #we-just-passed-three-cups #and-there's-gallons-more-coming! -: --I-think-we-need-to-shut-down! =BEE-WORKER-#2= --Shut-down?-We've-never-shut-down. -: Shut-down-honey-production! DEAN-BUZZWELL: Stop-making-honey! (The-bees-all-leave-their-stations.-Two-bees-run-into-a-room-and-they-put the-keys-into-a-machine) Turn-your-key #sir! (Two-worker-bees-dramatically-turn-their-keys #which-opens-the-button-which they-press #shutting-down-the-honey-making-machines.-This-is-the-first-time this-has-ever-happened) BEE: ...What-do-we-do-now? (Flash-forward-in-time-and-a-Bee-is-about-to-jump-into-a-pool-full-of honey) Cannonball! (The-bee-gets-stuck-in-the-honey-and-we-get-a-short-montage-of-Bees-leaving work) (We-see-the-Pollen-Jocks-flying-but-one-of-them-gets-a-call-on-his-antenna) LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') We're-shutting-honey-production! -: Mission-abort. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Aborting-pollination-and-nectar-detail. Returning-to-base. (The-Pollen-Jocks-fly-back-to-the-hive) (We-get-a-time-lapse-of-Central-Park-slowly-wilting-away-as-the-bees-all relax) BARRY: Adam #you-wouldn't-believe how-much-honey-was-out-there. ADAM: Oh #yeah? BARRY: What's-going-on?-Where-is-everybody? (The-entire-street-is-deserted) -: --Are-they-out-celebrating? ADAM: --They're-home. -: They-don't-know-what-to-do. Laying-out #sleeping-in. -: I-heard-your-Uncle-Carl-was-on-his-way to-San-Antonio-with-a-cricket. BARRY: At-least-we-got-our-honey-back. ADAM: Sometimes-I-think #so-what-if-humans liked-our-honey?-Who-wouldn't? -: It's-the-greatest-thing-in-the-world! I-was-excited-to-be-part-of-making-it. -: This-was-my-new-desk.-This-was-my new-job.-I-wanted-to-do-it-really-well. -: And-now... -: Now-I-can't. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-Vanessa) BARRY: I-don't-understand why-they're-not-happy. -: I-thought-their-lives-would-be-better! -: They're-doing-nothing.-It's-amazing. Honey-really-changes-people. VANESSA: You-don't-have-any-idea what's-going-on #do-you? BARRY: --What-did-you-want-to-show-me? (Vanessa-takes-Barry-to-the-rooftop-where-they-first-had-coffee-and-points to-her-store) VANESSA: --This. (Points-at-her-flowers.-They-are-all-grey-and-wilting) BARRY: What-happened-here? VANESSA: That-is-not-the-half-of-it. (Small-flash-forward-in-time-and-Vanessa-and-Barry-are-on-the-roof-of-her store-and-she-points-to-Central-Park) (We-see-that-Central-Park-is-no-longer-green-and-colorful #rather-it-is grey #brown #and-dead-like.-It-is-very-depressing-to-look-at) BARRY: Oh #no.-Oh #my. -: They're-all-wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't-look-very-good #does-it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And-whose-fault-do-you-think-that-is? BARRY: You-know #I'm-gonna-guess-bees. VANESSA== (Staring-at-Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically #me. -: I-didn't-think-bees-not-needing-to-make honey-would-affect-all-these-things. VANESSA: It's-not-just-flowers. Fruits #vegetables #they-all-need-bees. BARRY: That's-our-whole-SAT-test-right-there. VANESSA: Take-away-produce #that-affects the-entire-animal-kingdom. -: And-then #of-course... BARRY: The-human-species? -: So-if-there's-no-more-pollination #: it-could-all-just-go-south-here #couldn't-it? VANESSA: I-know-this-is-also-partly-my-fault. BARRY: How-about-a-suicide-pact? VANESSA: How-do-we-do-it? BARRY: --I'll-sting-you #you-step-on-me. VANESSA: --That-just-kills-you-twice. BARRY: Right #right. VANESSA: Listen #Barry... sorry #but-I-gotta-get-going. (Vanessa-leaves) BARRY: (To-himself) I-had-to-open-my-mouth-and-talk. -: Vanessa? -: Vanessa?-Why-are-you-leaving? Where-are-you-going? (Vanessa-is-getting-into-a-taxi) VANESSA: To-the-final-Tournament-of-Roses-parade in-Pasadena. -: They've-moved-it-to-this-weekend because-all-the-flowers-are-dying. -: It's-the-last-chance I'll-ever-have-to-see-it. BARRY: Vanessa #I-just-wanna-say-I'm-sorry. I-never-meant-it-to-turn-out-like-this. VANESSA: I-know.-Me-neither. (The-taxi-starts-to-drive-away) BARRY: Tournament-of-Roses. Roses-can't-do-sports. -: Wait-a-minute.-Roses.-Roses? -: Roses! -: Vanessa! (Barry-flies-after-the-Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! -: Barry? (Barry-is-flying-outside-the-window-of-the-taxi) BARRY: --Roses-are-flowers! VANESSA: --Yes #they-are. BARRY: Flowers #bees #pollen! VANESSA: I-know. That's-why-this-is-the-last-parade. BARRY: Maybe-not. Could-you-ask-him-to-slow-down? VANESSA: Could-you-slow-down? (The-taxi-driver-screeches-to-a-stop-and-Barry-keeps-flying-forward) -: Barry! (Barry-flies-back-to-the-window) BARRY: OK #I-made-a-huge-mistake. This-is-a-total-disaster #all-my-fault. VANESSA: Yes #it-kind-of-is. BARRY: I've-ruined-the-planet. I-wanted-to-help-you -: with-the-flower-shop. I've-made-it-worse. VANESSA: Actually #it's-completely-closed-down. BARRY: I-thought-maybe-you-were-remodeling. -: But-I-have-another-idea #and-it's greater-than-my-previous-ideas-combined. VANESSA: I-don't-want-to-hear-it! BARRY: All-right #they-have-the-roses #the-roses-have-the-pollen. -: I-know-every-bee #plant and-flower-bud-in-this-park. -: All-we-gotta-do-is-get-what-they've-got back-here-with-what-we've-got. -: --Bees. VANESSA: --Park. BARRY: --Pollen! VANESSA: --Flowers. BARRY: --Re-pollination! VANESSA: --Across-the-nation! -: Tournament-of-Roses #Pasadena #California. -: They've-got-nothing but-flowers #floats-and-cotton-candy. -: Security-will-be-tight. BARRY: I-have-an-idea. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Vanessa-is-about-to-board-a-plane-which-has-all-the Roses-on-board. VANESSA: Vanessa-Bloome #FTD. (Holds-out-badge) -: Official-floral-business.-It's-real. SECURITY-GUARD: Sorry #ma'am.-Nice-brooch. =VANESSA== Thank-you.-It-was-a-gift. (Barry-is-revealed-to-be-hiding-inside-the-brooch) (Flash-back-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-discussing-their-plan) BARRY: Once-inside #we-just-pick-the-right-float. VANESSA: How-about-The-Princess-and-the-Pea? -: I-could-be-the-princess #and-you-could-be-the-pea! BARRY: Yes #I-got-it. -: --Where-should-I-sit? GUARD: --What-are-you? BARRY: --I-believe-I'm-the-pea. GUARD: --The-pea? VANESSA: It-goes-under-the-mattresses. GUARD: --Not-in-this-fairy-tale #sweetheart. --I'm-getting-the-marshal. VANESSA: You-do-that! This-whole-parade-is-a-fiasco! -: Let's-see-what-this-baby'll-do. (Vanessa-drives-the-float-through-traffic) GUARD: Hey #what-are-you-doing?! BARRY== Then-all-we-do is-blend-in-with-traffic... -: ...without-arousing-suspicion. -: Once-at-the-airport #there's-no-stopping-us. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-about-to-get-on-a-plane) SECURITY-GUARD: Stop!-Security. -: --You-and-your-insect-pack-your-float? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Has-it-been in-your-possession-the-entire-time? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Would-you-remove-your-shoes? (To-Barry) --Remove-your-stinger. BARRY: --It's-part-of-me. SECURITY-GUARD: I-know.-Just-having-some-fun. Enjoy-your-flight. (Barry-plotting-with-Vanessa) BARRY: Then-if-we're-lucky #we'll-have just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-flying-on-the-plane) Can-you-believe-how-lucky-we-are?-We have-just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job! VANESSA: I-think-this-is-gonna-work. BARRY: It's-got-to-work. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: (On-intercom) Attention #passengers #this-is-Captain-Scott. -: We-have-a-bit-of-bad-weather in-New-York. -: It-looks-like-we'll-experience a-couple-hours-delay. VANESSA: Barry #these-are-cut-flowers with-no-water.-They'll-never-make-it. BARRY: I-gotta-get-up-there and-talk-to-them. VANESSA== Be-careful. (Barry-flies-right-outside-the-cockpit-door) BARRY: Can-I-get-help with-the-Sky-Mall-magazine? I'd-like-to-order-the-talking inflatable-nose-and-ear-hair-trimmer. (The-flight-attendant-opens-the-door-and-walks-out-and-Barry-flies-into-the cockpit-unseen) BARRY: Captain #I'm-in-a-real-situation. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: --What'd-you-say #Hal? CO-PILOT-HAL: --Nothing. (Scott-notices-Barry-and-freaks-out) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No #no #no #Don't-freak-out!-My-entire-species... (Captain-Scott-gets-out-of-his-seat-and-tries-to-suck-Barry-into-a-handheld vacuum) HAL: (To-Scott) What-are-you-doing? (Barry-lands-on-Hals-hair-but-Scott-sees-him.-He-tries-to-suck-up-Barry-but instead-he-sucks-up-Hals-toupee) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: --Wait-a-minute!-I'm-an-attorney! HAL: (Hal-doesn't-know-Barry-is-on-his-head) --Who's-an-attorney? CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Don't-move. (Scott-hits-Hal-in-the-face-with-the-vacuum-in-an-attempt-to-hit-Barry.-Hal is-knocked-out-and-he-falls-on-the-life-raft-button-which-launches-an infalatable-boat-into-Scott #who-gets-knocked-out-and-falls-to-the-floor. They-are-both-uncounscious.) BARRY: (To-himself) Oh #Barry. BARRY: (On-intercom #with-a-Southern-accent) Good-afternoon #passengers. This-is-your-captain. -: Would-a-Miss-Vanessa-Bloome-in-24B please-report-to-the-cockpit? (Vanessa-looks-confused) (Normal-accent) ...And-please-hurry! (Vanessa-opens-the-door-and-sees-the-life-raft-and-the-uncounscious-pilots) VANESSA: What-happened-here? BARRY: I-tried-to-talk-to-them #but then-there-was-a-DustBuster #a-toupee #a-life-raft-exploded. -: Now-one's-bald #one's-in-a-boat #and-they're-both-unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is-that-another-bee-joke? BARRY: --No! -: No-one's-flying-the-plane! BUD-DITCHWATER: (Through-radio-on-plane) This-is-JFK-control-tower #Flight-356. What's-your-status? VANESSA: This-is-Vanessa-Bloome. I'm-a-florist-from-New-York. BUD: Where's-the-pilot? VANESSA: He's-unconscious #and-so-is-the-copilot. BUD: Not-good.-Does-anyone-onboard have-flight-experience? BARRY: As-a-matter-of-fact #there-is. BUD: --Who's-that? BARRY: --Barry-Benson. BUD: From-the-honey-trial?!-Oh #great. BARRY: Vanessa #this-is-nothing-more than-a-big-metal-bee. -: It's-got-giant-wings #huge-engines. VANESSA: I-can't-fly-a-plane. BARRY: --Why-not?-Isn't-John-Travolta-a-pilot? VANESSA: --Yes. BARRY: How-hard-could-it-be? (Vanessa-sits-down-and-flies-for-a-little-bit-but-we-see-lightning-clouds outside-the-window) VANESSA: Wait #Barry! We're-headed-into-some-lightning. (An-ominous-lightning-storm-looms-in-front-of-the-plane) (We-are-now-watching-the-Bee-News) BOB-BUMBLE: This-is-Bob-Bumble.-We-have-some late-breaking-news-from-JFK-Airport #: where-a-suspenseful-scene is-developing. -: Barry-Benson #fresh-from-his-legal-victory... ADAM: That's-Barry! BOB-BUMBLE: ...is-attempting-to-land-a-plane #loaded-with-people #flowers -: and-an-incapacitated-flight-crew. JANET #MARTIN #UNCLE-CAR-AND-ADAM: Flowers?! (The-scene-switches-to-the-human-news) REPORTER: (Talking-with-Bob-Bumble) We-have-a-storm-in-the-area and-two-individuals-at-the-controls -: with-absolutely-no-flight-experience. BOB-BUMBLE: Just-a-minute. There's-a-bee-on-that-plane. BUD: I'm-quite-familiar-with-Mr.-Benson and-his-no-account-compadres. -: They've-done-enough-damage. REPORTER: But-isn't-he-your-only-hope? BUD: Technically #a-bee shouldn't-be-able-to-fly-at-all. -: Their-wings-are-too-small... BARRY: (Through-radio) Haven't-we-heard-this-a-million-times? -: 'The-surface-area-of-the-wings and-body-mass-make-no-sense.'... BOB-BUMBLE: --Get-this-on-the-air! BEE: --Got-it. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --Stand-by. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --We're-going-live! BARRY: (Through-radio-on-TV) ...The-way-we-work-may-be-a-mystery-to-you. -: Making-honey-takes-a-lot-of-bees doing-a-lot-of-small-jobs. -: But-let-me-tell-you-about-a-small-job. -: If-you-do-it-well #it-makes-a-big-difference. -: More-than-we-realized. To-us #to-everyone. -: That's-why-I-want-to-get-bees back-to-working-together. -: That's-the-bee-way! We're-not-made-of-Jell-O. -: We-get-behind-a-fellow. -: --Black-and-yellow! BEES: --Hello! (The-scene-switches-and-Barry-is-teaching-Vanessa-how-to-fly) BARRY: Left #right #down #hover. VANESSA: --Hover? BARRY: --Forget-hover. VANESSA: This-isn't-so-hard. (Pretending-to-honk-the-horn) Beep-beep!-Beep-beep! (A-Lightning-bolt-hits-the-plane-and-autopilot-turns-off) Barry #what-happened?! BARRY: Wait #I-think-we-were on-autopilot-the-whole-time. VANESSA: --That-may-have-been-helping-me. BARRY: --And-now-we're-not! VANESSA: So-it-turns-out-I-cannot-fly-a-plane. (The-plane-plummets-but-we-see-Lou-Lu-Duva-and-the-Pollen-Jocks #along-with multiple-other-bees-flying-towards-the-plane) Lou-Lu-DUva: All-of-you #let's-get behind-this-fellow!-Move-it-out! -: Move-out! (The-scene-switches-back-to-Vanessa-and-Barry-in-the-plane) BARRY: Our-only-chance-is-if-I-do-what-I'd-do #you-copy-me-with-the-wings-of-the-plane! (Barry-sticks-out-his-arms-like-an-airplane-and-flys-in-front-of-Vanessa's face) VANESSA: Don't-have-to-yell. BARRY: I'm-not-yelling! We're-in-a-lot-of-trouble. VANESSA: It's-very-hard-to-concentrate with-that-panicky-tone-in-your-voice! BARRY: It's-not-a-tone.-I'm-panicking! VANESSA: I-can't-do-this! (Barry-slaps-Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa #pull-yourself-together. You-have-to-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: (Slaps-Barry) You-snap-out-of-it. BARRY: (Slaps-Vanessa) -: You-snap-out-of-it. VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! (We-see-that-all-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-under-the-plane) VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --Hold-it! BARRY: --Why?-Come-on #it's-my-turn. VANESSA: How-is-the-plane-flying? (The-plane-is-now-safely-flying) VANESSA: I-don't-know. (Barry's-antennae-rings-like-a-phone.-Barry-picks-up) BARRY: Hello? LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') Benson #got-any-flowers for-a-happy-occasion-in-there? (All-of-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-carrying-the-plane) BARRY: The-Pollen-Jocks! -: They-do-get-behind-a-fellow. LOU-LU-DUVA: --Black-and-yellow. POLLEN-JOCKS: --Hello. LOU-LU-DUVA: All-right #let's-drop-this-tin-can on-the-blacktop. BARRY: Where?-I-can't-see-anything.-Can-you? VANESSA: No #nothing.-It's-all-cloudy. -: Come-on.-You-got-to-think-bee #Barry. BARRY: --Thinking-bee. --Thinking-bee. (On-the-runway-there-are-millions-of-bees-laying-on-their-backs) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: Wait-a-minute. I-think-I'm-feeling-something. VANESSA: --What? BARRY: --I-don't-know.-It's-strong #pulling-me. -: Like-a-27-million-year-old-instinct. -: Bring-the-nose-down. BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! CONTROL-TOWER-OPERATOR: --What-in-the-world-is-on-the-tarmac? BUD: --Get-some-lights-on-that! (It-is-revealed-that-all-the-bees-are-organized-into-a-giant-pulsating flower-formation) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Vanessa #aim-for-the-flower. VANESSA: --OK. BARRY: Out-the-engines.-We're-going-in on-bee-power.-Ready #boys? LOU-LU-DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good.-Good.-Easy #now.-That's-it. -: Land-on-that-flower! -: Ready?-Full-reverse! -: Spin-it-around! (The-plane's-nose-is-pointed-at-a-flower-painted-on-a-nearby-plane) --Not-that-flower!-The-other-one! VANESSA: --Which-one? BARRY: --That-flower. (The-plane-is-now-pointed-at-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt.-He-freaks-out and-tries-to-take-a-picture-of-the-plane) VANESSA: --I'm-aiming-at-the-flower! BARRY: That's-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt. I-mean-the-giant-pulsating-flower made-of-millions-of-bees! (The-plane-hovers-over-the-bee-flower) -: Pull-forward.-Nose-down.-Tail-up. -: Rotate-around-it. VANESSA: --This-is-insane #Barry! BARRY: --This's-the-only-way-I-know-how-to-fly. BUD: Am-I-koo-koo-kachoo #or-is-this-plane flying-in-an-insect-like-pattern? (The-plane-is-unrealistically-hovering-and-spinning-over-the-bee-flower) BARRY: Get-your-nose-in-there.-Don't-be-afraid. Smell-it.-Full-reverse! -: Just-drop-it.-Be-a-part-of-it. -: Aim-for-the-center! -: Now-drop-it-in!-Drop-it-in #woman! -: Come-on #already. (The-bees-scatter-and-the-plane-safely-lands) VANESSA: Barry #we-did-it! You-taught-me-how-to-fly! BARRY: --Yes! (Vanessa-is-about-to-high-five-Barry) No-high-five! VANESSA: --Right. ADAM: Barry #it-worked! Did-you-see-the-giant-flower? BARRY: What-giant-flower?-Where?-Of-course I-saw-the-flower!-That-was-genius! ADAM: --Thank-you. BARRY: --But-we're-not-done-yet. -: Listen #everyone! -: This-runway-is-covered with-the-last-pollen -: from-the-last-flowers available-anywhere-on-Earth. -: That-means-this-is-our-last-chance. -: We're-the-only-ones-who-make-honey #pollinate-flowers-and-dress-like-this. -: If-we're-gonna-survive-as-a-species #this-is-our-moment!-What-do-you-say? -: Are-we-going-to-be-bees #or-just Museum-of-Natural-History-keychains? BEES: We're-bees! BEE-WHO-LIKES-KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then-follow-me!-Except-Keychain. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Hold-on #Barry.-Here. -: You've-earned-this. BARRY: Yeah! -: I'm-a-Pollen-Jock!-And-it's-a-perfect fit.-All-I-gotta-do-are-the-sleeves. (The-Pollen-Jocks-throw-Barry-a-nectar-collecting-gun.-Barry-catches-it) Oh #yeah. JANET: That's-our-Barry. (Barry-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-get-pollen-from-the-flowers-on-the-plane) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-over-NYC) -: (Barry-pollinates-the-flowers-in-Vanessa's-shop-and-then-heads-to-Central Park) BOY-IN-PARK: Mom!-The-bees-are-back! ADAM: (Putting-on-his-Krelman-hat) If-anybody-needs to-make-a-call #now's-the-time. -: I-got-a-feeling-we'll-be working-late-tonight! (The-bee-honey-factories-are-back-up-and-running) (Meanwhile-at-Vanessa's-shop) VANESSA: (To-customer) Here's-your-change.-Have-a-great afternoon!-Can-I-help-who's-next? -: Would-you-like-some-honey-with-that? It-is-bee-approved.-Don't-forget-these. (There-is-a-room-in-the-shop-where-Barry-does-legal-work-for-other-animals. He-is-currently-talking-with-a-Cow) COW: Milk #cream #cheese #it's-all-me. And-I-don't-see-a-nickel! -: Sometimes-I-just-feel like-a-piece-of-meat! BARRY: I-had-no-idea. VANESSA: Barry #I'm-sorry. Have-you-got-a-moment? BARRY: Would-you-excuse-me? My-mosquito-associate-will-help-you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry-I'm-late. COW: He's-a-lawyer-too? MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am #I-was-already-a-blood-sucking-parasite. All-I-needed-was-a-briefcase. VANESSA: Have-a-great-afternoon! -: Barry #I-just-got-this-huge-tulip-order #and-I-can't-get-them-anywhere. BARRY: No-problem #Vannie. Just-leave-it-to-me. VANESSA: You're-a-lifesaver #Barry. Can-I-help-who's-next? BARRY: All-right #scramble #jocks! It's-time-to-fly. VANESSA: Thank-you #Barry! (Ken-walks-by-on-the-sidewalk-and-sees-the-'bee-approved-honey'-in Vanessa's-shop) KEN: That-bee-is-living-my-life!! ANDY: Let-it-go #Kenny. KEN: --When-will-this-nightmare-end?! ANDY: --Let-it-all-go. BARRY: --Beautiful-day-to-fly. POLLEN-JOCK: --Sure-is. BARRY: Between-you-and-me #I-was-dying-to-get-out-of-that-office. (Barry-recreates-the-scene-near-the-beginning-of-the-movie-where-he-flies through-the-box-kite.-The-movie-fades-to-black-and-the-credits-being) [--after-credits;-No-scene-can-be-seen-but-the-characters-can-be-heard talking-over-the-credits--] You-have-got to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend! -: --Thinking-bee! --Me? BARRY: (Talking-over-singer) Hold-it.-Let's-just-stop for-a-second.-Hold-it. -: I'm-sorry.-I'm-sorry #everyone. Can-we-stop-here? SINGER: Oh #BarryBARRY: I'm-not-making-a-major-life-decision during-a-production-number! SINGER: All-right.-Take-ten #everybody. Wrap-it-up #guys. BARRY: I-had-virtually-no-rehearsal-for-that.

   #scriptscombeemoviebyjerryseinfeldnarratorblackscreenwithtextthesoundofbuzzingbeescanbeheardaccordingtoallknownlawsofaviation #thereisnowayabeeshouldbeabletoflyitswingsaretoosmalltogetitsfatlittlebodyoffthegroundthebee #ofcourse #fliesanywaybecausebeesdontcarewhathumansthinkisimpossiblebarrybensonbarryispickingoutashirtyellow #blackyellow #blackooh
6. 

   Gabbo the wafrn dev guy @[email protected] · 2023-10-17 · 11:26 UTC

   ok here we go

   #Scripts.com Bee-Movie By-Jerry-Seinfeld NARRATOR: (Black-screen-with-text;-The-sound-of-buzzing-bees-can-be-heard) According-to-all-known-laws of-aviation #: there-is-no-way-a-bee should-be-able-to-fly. -: Its-wings-are-too-small-to-get its-fat-little-body-off-the-ground. -: The-bee #of-course #flies-anyway -: because-bees-don't-care what-humans-think-is-impossible. BARRY-BENSON: (Barry-is-picking-out-a-shirt) Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. -: Ooh #black-and-yellow! Let's-shake-it-up-a-little. JANET-BENSON: Barry!-Breakfast-is-ready! BARRY: Coming! -: Hang-on-a-second. (Barry-uses-his-antenna-like-a-phone) -: Hello? ADAM-FLAYMAN: (Through-phone) --Barry? BARRY: --Adam? ADAM: --Can-you-believe-this-is-happening? BARRY: --I-can't.-I'll-pick-you-up. (Barry-flies-down-the-stairs) -: MARTIN-BENSON: Looking-sharp. JANET: Use-the-stairs.-Your-father paid-good-money-for-those. BARRY: Sorry.-I'm-excited. MARTIN: Here's-the-graduate. We're-very-proud-of-you #son. -: A-perfect-report-card #all-B's. JANET: Very-proud. (Rubs-Barry's-hair) BARRY= Ma!-I-got-a-thing-going-here. JANET: --You-got-lint-on-your-fuzz. BARRY: --Ow!-That's-me! JANET: --Wave-to-us!-We'll-be-in-row-118 #000. --Bye! (Barry-flies-out-the-door) JANET: Barry #I-told-you #stop-flying-in-the-house! (Barry-drives-through-the-hive #and-is-waved-at-by-Adam-who-is-reading-a newspaper) BARRY== --Hey #Adam. ADAM: --Hey #Barry. (Adam-gets-in-Barry's-car) -: --Is-that-fuzz-gel? BARRY: --A-little.-Special-day #graduation. ADAM: Never-thought-I'd-make-it. (Barry-pulls-away-from-the-house-and-continues-driving) BARRY: Three-days-grade-school #three-days-high-school... ADAM: Those-were-awkward. BARRY: Three-days-college.-I'm-glad-I-took a-day-and-hitchhiked-around-the-hive. ADAM== You-did-come-back-different. (Barry-and-Adam-pass-by-Artie #who-is-jogging) ARTIE: --Hi #Barry! BARRY: --Artie #growing-a-mustache?-Looks-good. ADAM: --Hear-about-Frankie? BARRY: --Yeah. ADAM== --You-going-to-the-funeral? BARRY: --No #I'm-not-going-to-his-funeral. -: Everybody-knows #sting-someone #you-die. -: Don't-waste-it-on-a-squirrel. Such-a-hothead. ADAM: I-guess-he-could-have just-gotten-out-of-the-way. (The-car-does-a-barrel-roll-on-the-loop-shaped-bridge-and-lands-on-the highway) -: I-love-this-incorporating an-amusement-park-into-our-regular-day. BARRY: I-guess-that's-why-they-say-we-don't-need-vacations. (Barry-parallel-parks-the-car-and-together-they-fly-over-the-graduating students) Boy #quite-a-bit-of-pomp... under-the-circumstances. (Barry-and-Adam-sit-down-and-put-on-their-hats) -: --Well #Adam #today-we-are-men. ADAM: --We-are! BARRY= --Bee-men. =ADAM= --Amen! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry-and-Adam-both-have-a-happy-spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students #faculty #distinguished-bees #: please-welcome-Dean-Buzzwell. DEAN-BUZZWELL: Welcome #New-Hive-Oity graduating-class-of... -: ...9: -: That-concludes-our-ceremonies. -: And-begins-your-career at-Honex-Industries! ADAM: Will-we-pick-our-job-today? (Adam-and-Barry-get-into-a-tour-bus) BARRY= I-heard-it's-just-orientation. (Tour-buses-rise-out-of-the-ground-and-the-students-are-automatically loaded-into-the-buses) TOUR-GUIDE: Heads-up!-Here-we-go. ANNOUNCER: Keep-your-hands-and-antennas inside-the-tram-at-all-times. BARRY: --Wonder-what-it'll-be-like? ADAM: --A-little-scary. TOUR-GUIDE== Welcome-to-Honex #a-division-of-Honesco -: and-a-part-of-the-Hexagon-Group. Barry: This-is-it! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The-bus-drives-down-a-road-an-on-either-side-are-the-Bee's-massive complicated-Honey-making-machines) TOUR-GUIDE: We-know-that-you #as-a-bee #have-worked-your-whole-life -: to-get-to-the-point-where-you can-work-for-your-whole-life. -: Honey-begins-when-our-valiant-Pollen Jocks-bring-the-nectar-to-the-hive. -: Our-top-secret-formula -: is-automatically-color-corrected #scent-adjusted-and-bubble-contoured -: into-this-soothing-sweet-syrup -: with-its-distinctive golden-glow-you-know-as... EVERYONE-ON-BUS: Honey! (The-guide-has-been-collecting-honey-into-a-bottle-and-she-throws-it-into the-crowd-on-the-bus-and-it-is-caught-by-a-girl-in-the-back) ADAM: --That-girl-was-hot. BARRY: --She's-my-cousin! ADAM== --She-is? BARRY: --Yes #we're-all-cousins. ADAM: --Right.-You're-right. TOUR-GUIDE: --At-Honex #we-constantly-strive -: to-improve-every-aspect of-bee-existence. -: These-bees-are-stress-testing a-new-helmet-technology. (The-bus-passes-by-a-Bee-wearing-a-helmet-who-is-being-smashed-into-the ground-with-fly-swatters #newspapers-and-boots.-He-lifts-a-thumbs-up-but you-can-hear-him-groan) -: ADAM== --What-do-you-think-he-makes? BARRY: --Not-enough. TOUR-GUIDE: Here-we-have-our-latest-advancement #the-Krelman. (They-pass-by-a-turning-wheel-with-Bees-standing-on-pegs #who-are-each wearing-a-finger-shaped-hat) Barry: --Wow #What-does-that-do? TOUR-GUIDE: --Catches-that-little-strand-of-honey -: that-hangs-after-you-pour-it. Saves-us-millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can-anyone-work-on-the-Krelman? TOUR-GUIDE: Of-course.-Most-bee-jobs-are small-ones. But-bees-know-that-every-small-job #if-it's-done-well #means-a-lot. -: But-choose-carefully -: because-you'll-stay-in-the-job you-pick-for-the-rest-of-your-life. (Everyone-claps-except-for-Barry) BARRY: The-same-job-the-rest-of-your-life? I-didn't-know-that. ADAM: What's-the-difference? TOUR-GUIDE: You'll-be-happy-to-know-that-bees #as-a-species #haven't-had-one-day-off -: in-27-million-years. BARRY: (Upset) So-you'll-just-work-us-to-death? -: We'll-sure-try. (Everyone-on-the-bus-laughs-except-Barry.-Barry-and-Adam-are-walking-back home-together) ADAM: Wow!-That-blew-my-mind! BARRY: 'What's-the-difference?' How-can-you-say-that? -: One-job-forever? That's-an-insane-choice-to-have-to-make. ADAM: I'm-relieved.-Now-we-only-have to-make-one-decision-in-life. BARRY: But #Adam #how-could-they never-have-told-us-that? ADAM: Why-would-you-question-anything? We're-bees. -: We're-the-most-perfectly functioning-society-on-Earth. BARRY: You-ever-think-maybe-things work-a-little-too-well-here? ADAM: Like-what?-Give-me-one-example. (Barry-and-Adam-stop-walking-and-it-is-revealed-to-the-audience-that hundreds-of-cars-are-speeding-by-and-narrowly-missing-them-in-perfect unison) BARRY: I-don't-know.-But-you-know what-I'm-talking-about. ANNOUNCER: Please-clear-the-gate. Royal-Nectar-Force-on-approach. BARRY: Wait-a-second.-Check-it-out. (The-Pollen-jocks-fly-in #circle-around-and-landing-in-line) -: --Hey #those-are-Pollen-Jocks! ADAM: --Wow. -: I've-never-seen-them-this-close. BARRY: They-know-what-it's-like outside-the-hive. ADAM: Yeah #but-some-don't-come-back. GIRL-BEES: --Hey #Jocks! --Hi #Jocks! (The-Pollen-Jocks-hook-up-their-backpacks-to-machines-that-pump-the-nectar to-trucks #which-drive-away) LOU-LO-DUVA: You-guys-did-great! -: You're-monsters! You're-sky-freaks! I-love-it! (Punching-the-Pollen-Jocks-in-joy) I-love-it! ADAM: --I-wonder-where-they-were. BARRY: --I-don't-know. -: Their-day's-not-planned. -: Outside-the-hive #flying-who-knows where #doing-who-knows-what. -: You-can't-just-decide-to-be-a-Pollen Jock.-You-have-to-be-bred-for-that. ADAM== Right. (Barry-and-Adam-are-covered-in-some-pollen-that-floated-off-of-the-Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look-at-that.-That's-more-pollen than-you-and-I-will-see-in-a-lifetime. ADAM: It's-just-a-status-symbol. Bees-make-too-much-of-it. BARRY: Perhaps.-Unless-you're-wearing-it and-the-ladies-see-you-wearing-it. (Barry-waves-at-2-girls-standing-a-little-away-from-them) ADAM== Those-ladies? Aren't-they-our-cousins-too? BARRY: Distant.-Distant. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Look-at-these-two. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Couple-of-Hive-Harrys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --Let's-have-fun-with-them. GIRL-BEE-#1: It-must-be-dangerous being-a-Pollen-Jock. BARRY: Yeah.-Once-a-bear-pinned-me against-a-mushroom! -: He-had-a-paw-on-my-throat #and-with-the-other #he-was-slapping-me! (Slaps-Adam-with-his-hand-to-represent-his-scenario) GIRL-BEE-#2: --Oh #my! BARRY: --I-never-thought-I'd-knock-him-out. GIRL-BEE-#1: (Looking-at-Adam) What-were-you-doing-during-this? ADAM: Obviously-I-was-trying-to-alert-the-authorities. BARRY: I-can-autograph-that. (The-pollen-jocks-walk-up-to-Barry-and-Adam #they-pretend-that-Barry-and Adam-really-are-pollen-jocks.) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: A-little-gusty-out-there-today #wasn't-it #comrades? BARRY: Yeah.-Gusty. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-hitting-a-sunflower-patch six-miles-from-here-tomorrow. BARRY: --Six-miles #huh? ADAM: --Barry! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: A-puddle-jump-for-us #but-maybe-you're-not-up-for-it. BARRY: --Maybe-I-am. ADAM: --You-are-not! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-going-0900-at-J-Gate. -: What-do-you-think #buzzy-boy? Are-you-bee-enough? BARRY: I-might-be.-It-all-depends on-what-0900-means. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-looking-out-on-the-hive-city-from-his-balcony-at night) MARTIN: Hey #Honex! BARRY: Dad #you-surprised-me. MARTIN: You-decide-what-you're-interested-in? BARRY: --Well #there's-a-lot-of-choices. --But-you-only-get-one. -: Do-you-ever-get-bored doing-the-same-job-every-day? MARTIN: Son #let-me-tell-you-about-stirring. -: You-grab-that-stick #and-you-just move-it-around #and-you-stir-it-around. -: You-get-yourself-into-a-rhythm. It's-a-beautiful-thing. BARRY: You-know #Dad #the-more-I-think-about-it #: maybe-the-honey-field just-isn't-right-for-me. MARTIN: You-were-thinking-of-what #making-balloon-animals? -: That's-a-bad-job for-a-guy-with-a-stinger. -: Janet #your-son's-not-sure he-wants-to-go-into-honey! JANET: --Barry #you-are-so-funny-sometimes. BARRY: --I'm-not-trying-to-be-funny. MARTIN: You're-not-funny!-You're-going into-honey.-Our-son #the-stirrer! JANET: --You're-gonna-be-a-stirrer? BARRY: --No-one's-listening-to-me! MARTIN: Wait-till-you-see-the-sticks-I-have. BARRY: I-could-say-anything-right-now. I'm-gonna-get-an-ant-tattoo! (Barry's-parents-don't-listen-to-him-and-continue-to-ramble-on) MARTIN: Let's-open-some-honey-and-celebrate! BARRY: Maybe-I'll-pierce-my-thorax. Shave-my-antennae. -: Shack-up-with-a-grasshopper.-Get a-gold-tooth-and-call-everybody-'dawg'! JANET: I'm-so-proud. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-and-Adam-waiting-in-line-to-get-a-job) ADAM: --We're-starting-work-today! BARRY: --Today's-the-day. ADAM: Come-on!-All-the-good-jobs will-be-gone. BARRY: Yeah #right. JOB-LISTER: Pollen-counting #stunt-bee #pouring #stirrer #front-desk #hair-removal... BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Is-it-still-available? JOB-LISTER: --Hang-on.-Two-left! -: One-of-them's-yours!-Congratulations! Step-to-the-side. ADAM: --What'd-you-get? BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Picking-crud-out.-Stellar! (He-walks-away) ADAM: Wow! JOB-LISTER: Couple-of-newbies? ADAM: Yes #sir!-Our-first-day!-We-are-ready! JOB-LISTER: Make-your-choice. (Adam-and-Barry-look-up-at-the-job-board.-There-are-hundreds-of-constantly changing-panels-that-contain-available-or-unavailable-jobs.-It-looks-very confusing) ADAM: --You-want-to-go-first? BARRY: --No #you-go. ADAM: Oh #my.-What's-available? JOB-LISTER: Restroom-attendant's-open #not-for-the-reason-you-think. ADAM: --Any-chance-of-getting-the-Krelman? JOB-LISTER: --Sure #you're-on. (Puts-the-Krelman-finger-hat-on-Adam's-head) (Suddenly-the-sign-for-Krelman-closes-out) -: I'm-sorry #the-Krelman-just-closed-out. (Takes-Adam's-hat-off) Wax-monkey's-always-open. ADAM: The-Krelman-opened-up-again. -: What-happened? JOB-LISTER: A-bee-died.-Makes-an-opening.-See? He's-dead.-Another-dead-one. -: Deady.-Deadified.-Two-more-dead. -: Dead-from-the-neck-up. Dead-from-the-neck-down.-That's-life! ADAM: Oh #this-is-so-hard! (Barry-remembers-what-the-Pollen-Jock-offered-him-and-he-flies-off) Heating #cooling #stunt-bee #pourer #stirrer #: humming #inspector-number-seven #lint-coordinator #stripe-supervisor #: mite-wrangler.-Barry #what do-you-think-I-should...-Barry? (Adam-turns-around-and-sees-Barry-flying-away) -: Barry! POLLEN-JOCK: All-right #we've-got-the-sunflower-patch in-quadrant-nine... ADAM: (Through-phone) What-happened-to-you? Where-are-you? BARRY: --I'm-going-out. ADAM: --Out?-Out-where? BARRY: --Out-there. ADAM: --Oh #no! BARRY: I-have-to #before-I-go to-work-for-the-rest-of-my-life. ADAM: You're-gonna-die!-You're-crazy! (Barry-hangs-up) Hello? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Another-call-coming-in. -: If-anyone's-feeling-brave #there's-a-Korean-deli-on-83rd -: that-gets-their-roses-today. BARRY: Hey #guys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1-== --Look-at-that. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Isn't-that-the-kid-we-saw-yesterday? LOU-LO-DUVA: Hold-it #son #flight-deck's-restricted. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: It's-OK #Lou.-We're-gonna-take-him-up. (Puts-hand-on-Barry's-shoulder) LOU-LO-DUVA: (To-Barry)-Really?-Feeling-lucky #are-you? BEE-WITH-CLIPBOARD: (To-Barry)-Sign-here #here.-Just-initial-that. -: --Thank-you. LOU-LO-DUVA: --OK. -: You-got-a-rain-advisory-today #: and-as-you-all-know #bees-cannot-fly-in-rain. -: So-be-careful.-As-always #watch-your-brooms #: hockey-sticks #dogs #birds #bears-and-bats. -: Also #I-got-a-couple-of-reports of-root-beer-being-poured-on-us. -: Murphy's-in-a-home-because-of-it #babbling-like-a-cicada! BARRY: --That's-awful. LOU-LO-DUVA: (Still-talking-through-megaphone) --And-a-reminder-for-you-rookies #: bee-law-number-one #absolutely-no-talking-to-humans! -: All-right #launch-positions! POLLEN-JOCKS: (The-Pollen-Jocks-run-into-formation) -: Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz! LOU-LU-DUVA: Black-and-yellow! POLLEN-JOCKS: Hello! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (To-Barry)You-ready-for-this #hot-shot? BARRY: Yeah.-Yeah #bring-it-on. POLLEN-JOCK's: Wind #check. -: --Antennae #check. --Nectar-pack #check. -: --Wings #check. --Stinger #check. BARRY: Scared-out-of-my-shorts #check. LOU-LO-DUVA: OK #ladies #: let's-move-it-out! -: Pound-those-petunias #you-striped-stem-suckers! -: All-of-you #drain-those-flowers! (The-pollen-jocks-fly-out-of-the-hive) BARRY: Wow!-I'm-out! -: I-can't-believe-I'm-out! -: So-blue. -: I-feel-so-fast-and-free! -: Box-kite! (Barry-flies-through-the-kite) -: Wow! -: Flowers! (A-pollen-jock-puts-on-some-high-tech-goggles-that-shows-flowers-similar-to heat-sink-goggles.) POLLEN-JOCK: This-is-Blue-Leader. We-have-roses-visual. -: Bring-it-around-30-degrees-and-hold. -: Roses! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: 30-degrees #roger.-Bringing-it-around. -: Stand-to-the-side #kid. It's-got-a-bit-of-a-kick. (The-pollen-jock-fires-a-high-tech-gun-at-the-flower #shooting-tubes-that suck-up-the-nectar-from-the-flower-and-collects-it-into-a-pouch-on-the-gun) BARRY: That-is-one-nectar-collector! POLLEN-JOCK-#1== --Ever-see-pollination-up-close? BARRY: --No #sir. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Barry-and-the-Pollen-jock-fly-over-the-field #the-pollen-jock-sprinkles pollen-as-he-goes) -: I-pick-up-some-pollen-here #sprinkle-it over-here.-Maybe-a-dash-over-there #: a-pinch-on-that-one. See-that?-It's-a-little-bit-of-magic. BARRY: That's-amazing.-Why-do-we-do-that? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: That's-pollen-power.-More-pollen #more flowers #more-nectar #more-honey-for-us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: I'm-picking-up-a-lot-of-bright-yellow. could-be-daisies.-Don't-we-need-those? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Copy-that-visual. -: Wait.-One-of-these-flowers seems-to-be-on-the-move. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Say-again?-You're-reporting a-moving-flower? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Affirmative. (The-Pollen-jocks-land-near-the-'flowers'-which #to-the-audience-are obviously-just-tennis-balls) KEN: (In-the-distance)-That-was-on-the-line! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: This-is-the-coolest.-What-is-it? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-know #but-I'm-loving-this-color. -: It-smells-good. Not-like-a-flower #but-I-like-it. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Yeah #fuzzy. (Sticks-his-hand-on-the-ball-but-it-gets-stuck) POLLEN-JOCK-#3== Chemical-y. (The-pollen-jock-finally-gets-his-hand-free-from-the-tennis-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Careful #guys.-It's-a-little-grabby. (The-pollen-jocks-turn-around-and-see-Barry-lying-his-entire-body-on-top-of one-of-the-tennis-balls) POLLEN-JOCK-#2: My-sweet-lord-of-bees! POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Candy-brain #get-off-there! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Pointing-upwards) Problem! (A-human-hand-reaches-down-and-grabs-the-tennis-ball-that-Barry-is-stuck to) BARRY: --Guys! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --This-could-be-bad. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Affirmative. (Vanessa-Bloome-starts-bouncing-the-tennis-ball #not-knowing-Barry-is-stick to-it) BARRY== Very-close. -: Gonna-hurt. -: Mama's-little-boy. (Barry-is-being-hit-back-and-forth-by-two-humans-playing-tennis.-He-is still-stuck-to-the-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: You-are-way-out-of-position #rookie! KEN: Coming-in-at-you-like-a-MISSILE! (Barry-flies-past-the-pollen-jocks #still-stuck-to-the-ball) BARRY: (In-slow-motion) Help-me! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-think-these-are-flowers. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: --Should-we-tell-him? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --I-think-he-knows. BARRY: What-is-this?! KEN: Match-point! -: You-can-start-packing-up #honey #because-you're-about-to-EAT-IT! (A-pollen-jock-coughs-which-confused-Ken-and-he-hits-the-ball-the-wrong-way with-Barry-stuck-to-it-and-it-goes-flying-into-the-city) BARRY: Yowser! (Barry-bounces-around-town-and-gets-stuck-in-the-engine-of-a-car.-He-flies into-the-air-conditioner-and-sees-a-bug-that-was-frozen-in-there) BARRY: Ew #gross. (The-man-driving-the-car-turns-on-the-air-conditioner-which-blows-Barry into-the-car) GIRL-IN-CAR: There's-a-bee-in-the-car! -: --Do-something! DAD-DRIVING-CAR: --I'm-driving! BABY-GIRL: (Waving-at-Barry) --Hi #bee. (Barry-smiles-and-waves-at-the-baby-girl) GUY-IN-BACK-OF-CAR: --He's-back-here! -: He's-going-to-sting-me! GIRL-IN-CAR: Nobody-move.-If-you-don't-move #he-won't-sting-you.-Freeze! (Barry-freezes-as-well #hovering-in-the-middle-of-the-car) -: GRANDMA-IN-CAR== He-blinked! (The-grandma-whips-out-some-bee-spray-and-sprays-everywhere-in-the-car #climbing-into-the-front-seat #still-trying-to-spray-Barry) GIRL-IN-CAR: Spray-him #Granny! DAD-DRIVING-THE-CAR: What-are-you-doing?! (Barry-escapes-the-car-through-the-air-conditioner-and-is-flying-high-above the-ground #safe.) BARRY: Wow...-the-tension-level out-here-is-unbelievable. (Barry-sees-that-storm-clouds-are-gathering-and-he-can-see-rain-clouds moving-into-this-direction) -: I-gotta-get-home. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-rain-drop-hits-Barry-and-one-of-his-wings-is-damaged) -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-second-rain-drop-hits-Barry-again-and-he-spirals-downwards) Mayday!-Mayday!-Bee-going-down! (WW2-plane-sound-effects-are-played-as-he-plummets #and-he-crash-lands-on-a plant-inside-an-apartment-near-the-window) VANESSA-BLOOME: Ken #could-you-close the-window-please? KEN== Hey #check-out-my-new-resume. I-made-it-into-a-fold-out-brochure. -: You-see? (Folds-brochure-resume-out) Folds-out. (Ken-closes-the-window #trapping-Barry-inside) BARRY: Oh #no.-More-humans.-I-don't-need-this. (Barry-tries-to-fly-away-but-smashes-into-the-window-and-falls-again) -: What-was-that? (Barry-keeps-trying-to-fly-out-the-window-but-he-keeps-being-knocked-back because-the-window-is-closed) Maybe-this-time.-This-time.-This-time. This-time!-This-time!-This... -: Drapes! (Barry-taps-the-glass.-He-doesn't-understand-what-it-is) That-is-diabolical. KEN: It's-fantastic.-It's-got-all-my-special skills #even-my-top-ten-favorite-movies. ANDY: What's-number-one?-Star-Wars? KEN: Nah #I-don't-go-for-that... (Ken-makes-finger-guns-and-makes-'pew-pew-pew'-sounds-and-then-stops) -: ...kind-of-stuff. BARRY: No-wonder-we-shouldn't-talk-to-them. They're-out-of-their-minds. KEN: When-I-leave-a-job-interview #they're flabbergasted #can't-believe-what-I-say. BARRY: (Looking-at-the-light-on-the-ceiling) There's-the-sun.-Maybe-that's-a-way-out. (Starts-flying-towards-the-lightbulb) -: I-don't-remember-the-sun having-a-big-75-on-it. (Barry-hits-the-lightbulb-and-falls-into-the-dip-on-the-table-that-the humans-are-sitting-at) KEN: I-predicted-global-warming. -: I-could-feel-it-getting-hotter. At-first-I-thought-it-was-just-me. (Andy-dips-a-chip-into-the-bowl-and-scoops-up-some-dip-with-Barry-on-it-and is-about-to-put-it-in-his-mouth) -: Wait!-Stop!-Bee! (Andy-drops-the-chip-with-Barry-in-fear-and-backs-away.-All-the-humans freak-out) -: Stand-back.-These-are-winter-boots. (Ken-has-winter-boots-on-his-hands-and-he-is-about-to-smash-the-bee-but Vanessa-saves-him-last-second) VANESSA: Wait! -: Don't-kill-him! (Vanessa-puts-Barry-in-a-glass-to-protect-him) KEN: You-know-I'm-allergic-to-them! This-thing-could-kill-me! VANESSA: Why-does-his-life-have less-value-than-yours? KEN: Why-does-his-life-have-any-less-value than-mine?-Is-that-your-statement? VANESSA: I'm-just-saying-all-life-has-value.-You don't-know-what-he's-capable-of-feeling. (Vanessa-picks-up-Ken's-brochure-and-puts-it-under-the-glass-so-she-can carry-Barry-back-to-the-window.-Barry-looks-at-Vanessa-in-amazement) KEN: My-brochure! VANESSA: There-you-go #little-guy. (Vanessa-opens-the-window-and-lets-Barry-out-but-Barry-stays-back-and-is still-shocked-that-a-human-saved-his-life) KEN: I'm-not-scared-of-him. It's-an-allergic-thing. VANESSA: Put-that-on-your-resume-brochure. KEN: My-whole-face-could-puff-up. ANDY: Make-it-one-of-your-special-skills. KEN: Knocking-someone-out is-also-a-special-skill. (Ken-walks-to-the-door) Right.-Bye #Vanessa.-Thanks. -: --Vanessa #next-week?-Yogurt-night? VANESSA: --Sure #Ken.-You-know #whatever. -: (Vanessa-tries-to-close-door) KEN== --You-could-put-carob-chips-on-there. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door-but-Ken-opens-it-again) KEN: --Supposed-to-be-less-calories. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door) (Fast-forward-to-the-next-day #Barry-is-still-inside-the-house.-He-flies into-the-kitchen-where-Vanessa-is-doing-dishes) BARRY== (Talking-to-himself) I-gotta-say-something. -: She-saved-my-life. I-gotta-say-something. -: All-right #here-it-goes. (Turns-back) Nah. -: What-would-I-say? -: I-could-really-get-in-trouble. -: It's-a-bee-law. You're-not-supposed-to-talk-to-a-human. -: I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this. -: I've-got-to. (Barry-disguises-himself-as-a-character-on-a-food-can-as-Vanessa-walks-by again) -: Oh #I-can't-do-it.-Come-on! -: No.-Yes.-No. -: Do-it.-I-can't. -: How-should-I-start-it? (Barry-strikes-a-pose-and-wiggles-his-eyebrows) 'You-like-jazz?' No #that's-no-good. (Vanessa-is-about-to-walk-past-Barry) Here-she-comes!-Speak #you-fool! -: ...Hi! (Vanessa-gasps-and-drops-the-dishes-in-fright-and-notices-Barry-on-the counter) -: I'm-sorry. VANESSA: --You're-talking. BARRY: --Yes #I-know. VANESSA: (Pointing-at-Barry) You're-talking! BARRY: I'm-so-sorry. VANESSA: No #it's-OK.-It's-fine. I-know-I'm-dreaming. -: But-I-don't-recall-going-to-bed. BARRY: Well #I'm-sure-this is-very-disconcerting. VANESSA: This-is-a-bit-of-a-surprise-to-me. I-mean #you're-a-bee! BARRY: I-am.-And-I'm-not-supposed to-be-doing-this #(Pointing-to-the-living-room-where-Ken-tried-to-kill-him-last-night) but-they-were-all-trying-to-kill-me. -: And-if-it-wasn't-for-you... -: I-had-to-thank-you. It's-just-how-I-was-raised. (Vanessa-stabs-her-hand-with-a-fork-to-test-whether-she's-dreaming-or-not) -: That-was-a-little-weird. VANESSA: --I'm-talking-with-a-bee. BARRY: --Yeah. VANESSA: I'm-talking-to-a-bee. And-the-bee-is-talking-to-me! BARRY: I-just-want-to-say-I'm-grateful. I'll-leave-now. (Barry-turns-to-leave) VANESSA: --Wait!-How-did-you-learn-to-do-that? BARRY: (Flying-back) --What? VANESSA: The-talking...thing. BARRY: Same-way-you-did #I-guess. 'Mama #Dada #honey.'-You-pick-it-up. VANESSA: --That's-very-funny. BARRY: --Yeah. -: Bees-are-funny.-If-we-didn't-laugh #we'd-cry-with-what-we-have-to-deal-with. -: Anyway... VANESSA: Can-I... -: ...get-you-something? BARRY: --Like-what? VANESSA: I-don't-know.-I-mean... I-don't-know.-Coffee? BARRY: I-don't-want-to-put-you-out. VANESSA: It's-no-trouble.-It-takes-two-minutes. -: --It's-just-coffee. BARRY: --I-hate-to-impose. (Vanessa-starts-making-coffee) VANESSA: --Don't-be-ridiculous! BARRY: --Actually #I-would-love-a-cup. VANESSA: Hey #you-want-rum-cake? BARRY: --I-shouldn't. VANESSA: --Have-some. BARRY: --No #I-can't. VANESSA: --Come-on! BARRY: I'm-trying-to-lose-a-couple-micrograms. VANESSA: --Where? BARRY: --These-stripes-don't-help. VANESSA: You-look-great! BARRY: I-don't-know-if-you-know anything-about-fashion. -: Are-you-all-right? VANESSA: (Pouring-coffee-on-the-floor-and-missing-the-cup-completely) No. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-sitting-together-at-a-table on-top-of-the-apartment-building-drinking-coffee) -: BARRY== He's-making-the-tie-in-the-cab as-they're-flying-up-Madison. -: He-finally-gets-there. -: He-runs-up-the-steps-into-the-church. The-wedding-is-on. -: And-he-says #'Watermelon? I-thought-you-said-Guatemalan. -: Why-would-I-marry-a-watermelon?' (Barry-laughs-but-Vanessa-looks-confused) VANESSA: Is-that-a-bee-joke? BARRY: That's-the-kind-of-stuff-we-do. VANESSA: Yeah #different. -: So #what-are-you-gonna-do #Barry? (Barry-stands-on-top-of-a-sugar-cube-floating-in-his-coffee-and-paddles-it around-with-a-straw-like-it's-a-gondola) BARRY: About-work?-I-don't-know. -: I-want-to-do-my-part-for-the-hive #but-I-can't-do-it-the-way-they-want. VANESSA: I-know-how-you-feel. BARRY: --You-do? VANESSA: --Sure. -: My-parents-wanted-me-to-be-a-lawyer-or a-doctor #but-I-wanted-to-be-a-florist. BARRY: --Really? VANESSA: --My-only-interest-is-flowers. BARRY: Our-new-queen-was-just-elected with-that-same-campaign-slogan. -: Anyway #if-you-look... (Barry-points-to-a-tree-in-the-middle-of-Central-Park) -: There's-my-hive-right-there.-See-it? VANESSA: You're-in-Sheep-Meadow! BARRY: Yes!-I'm-right-off-the-Turtle-Pond! VANESSA: No-way!-I-know-that-area. I-lost-a-toe-ring-there-once. BARRY: --Why-do-girls-put-rings-on-their-toes? VANESSA: --Why-not? BARRY: --It's-like-putting-a-hat-on-your-knee. VANESSA: --Maybe-I'll-try-that. (A-custodian-installing-a-lightbulb-looks-over-at-them-but-to-his perspective-it-looks-like-Vanessa-is-talking-to-a-cup-of-coffee-on-the table) CUSTODIAN: --You-all-right #ma'am? VANESSA: --Oh #yeah.-Fine. -: Just-having-two-cups-of-coffee! BARRY: Anyway #this-has-been-great. Thanks-for-the-coffee. VANESSA== Yeah #it's-no-trouble. BARRY: Sorry-I-couldn't-finish-it.-If-I-did #I'd-be-up-the-rest-of-my-life. (Barry-points-towards-the-rum-cake) -: Can-I-take-a-piece-of-this-with-me? VANESSA: Sure!-Here #have-a-crumb. (Vanessa-hands-Barry-a-crumb-but-it-is-still-pretty-big-for-Barry) BARRY: --Thanks! VANESSA: --Yeah. BARRY: All-right.-Well #then... I-guess-I'll-see-you-around. -: Or-not. VANESSA: OK #Barry... BARRY: And-thank-you so-much-again...-for-before. VANESSA: Oh #that?-That-was-nothing. BARRY: Well #not-nothing #but...-Anyway... (Vanessa-and-Barry-hold-hands #but-Vanessa-has-to-hold-out-a-finger-because her-hands-is-to-big-and-Barry-holds-that) (The-custodian-looks-over-again-and-it-appears-Vanessa-is-laughing-at-her coffee-again.-The-lightbulb-that-he-was-screwing-in-sparks-and-he-falls-off the-ladder) (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-two-Bee-Scientists-testing-out-a-parachute in-a-Honex-wind-tunnel) BEE-SCIENTIST-#1: This-can't-possibly-work. BEE-SCIENTIST-#2: He's-all-set-to-go. We-may-as-well-try-it. -: OK #Dave #pull-the-chute. (Dave-pulls-the-chute-and-the-wind-slams-him-against-the-wall-and-he-falls on-his-face.The-camera-pans-over-and-we-see-Barry-and-Adam-walking together) ADAM: --Sounds-amazing. BARRY: --It-was-amazing! -: It-was-the-scariest #happiest-moment-of-my-life. ADAM: Humans!-I-can't-believe you-were-with-humans! -: Giant #scary-humans! What-were-they-like? BARRY: Huge-and-crazy.-They-talk-crazy. -: They-eat-crazy-giant-things. They-drive-crazy. ADAM: --Do-they-try-and-kill-you #like-on-TV? BARRY: --Some-of-them.-But-some-of-them-don't. ADAM: --How'd-you-get-back? BARRY: --Poodle. ADAM: You-did-it #and-I'm-glad.-You-saw whatever-you-wanted-to-see. -: You-had-your-'experience.'-Now-you can-pick-out-your-job-and-be-normal. BARRY: --Well... ADAM: --Well? BARRY: Well #I-met-someone. ADAM: You-did?-Was-she-Bee-ish? -: --A-wasp?!-Your-parents-will-kill-you! BARRY: --No #no #no #not-a-wasp. ADAM: --Spider? BARRY: --I'm-not-attracted-to-spiders. -: I-know #for-everyone-else #it's-the-hottest-thing #with-the-eight-legs-and-all. -: I-can't-get-by-that-face. ADAM: So-who-is-she? BARRY: She's...-human. ADAM: No #no.-That's-a-bee-law. You-wouldn't-break-a-bee-law. BARRY: --Her-name's-Vanessa. (Adam-puts-his-head-in-his-hands) ADAM: --Oh #boy. BARRY== She's-so-nice.-And-she's-a-florist! ADAM: Oh #no!-You're-dating-a-human-florist! BARRY: We're-not-dating. ADAM: You're-flying-outside-the-hive #talking to-humans-that-attack-our-homes -: with-power-washers-and-M-80s! That's-one-eighth-a-stick-of-dynamite! BARRY: She-saved-my-life! And-she-understands-me. ADAM: This-is-over! BARRY: Eat-this. (Barry-gives-Adam-a-piece-of-the-crumb-that-he-got-from-Vanessa.-Adam-eats it) ADAM: (Adam's-tone-changes) This-is-not-over!-What-was-that? BARRY: --They-call-it-a-crumb. ADAM: --It-was-so-stingin'-stripey! BARRY: And-that's-not-what-they-eat. That's-what-falls-off-what-they-eat! -: --You-know-what-a-Cinnabon-is? ADAM: --No. (Adam-opens-a-door-behind-him-and-he-pulls-Barry-in) BARRY: It's-bread-and-cinnamon-and-frosting. ADAM: Be-quiet! BARRY: They-heat-it-up... ADAM: Sit-down! (Adam-forces-Barry-to-sit-down) BARRY: (Still-rambling-about-Cinnabons) ...really-hot! (Adam-grabs-Barry-by-the-shoulders) ADAM: --Listen-to-me! -: We-are-not-them!-We're-us. There's-us-and-there's-them! BARRY== Yes #but-who-can-deny the-heart-that-is-yearning? ADAM: There's-no-yearning. Stop-yearning.-Listen-to-me! -: You-have-got-to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend.-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEE: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEES-AND-ADAM: Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-is-laying-on-a-raft-in-a-pool-full-of-honey. He-is-wearing-sunglasses) JANET: There-he-is.-He's-in-the-pool. MARTIN: You-know-what-your-problem-is #Barry? (Barry-pulls-down-his-sunglasses-and-he-looks-annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I-gotta-start-thinking-bee? JANET: How-much-longer-will-this-go-on? MARTIN: It's-been-three-days! Why-aren't-you-working? (Puts-sunglasses-back-on) BARRY: I've-got-a-lot-of-big-life-decisions to-think-about. MARTIN: What-life?-You-have-no-life! You-have-no-job.-You're-barely-a-bee! JANET: Would-it-kill-you to-make-a-little-honey? (Barry-rolls-off-the-raft-and-sinks-into-the-honey-pool) -: Barry #come-out. Your-father's-talking-to-you. -: Martin #would-you-talk-to-him? MARTIN: Barry #I'm-talking-to-you! (Barry-keeps-sinking-into-the-honey-until-he-is-suddenly-in-Central-Park having-a-picnic-with-Vanessa) (Barry-has-a-cup-of-honey-and-he-clinks-his-glass-with-Vanessas.-Suddenly-a mosquito-lands-on-Vanessa-and-she-slaps-it #killing-it.-They-both-gasp-but then-burst-out-laughing) VANESSA: You-coming? (The-camera-pans-over-and-Vanessa-is-climbing-into-a-small-yellow-airplane) BARRY: Got-everything? VANESSA: All-set! BARRY: Go-ahead.-I'll-catch-up. (Vanessa-lifts-off-and-flies-ahead) VANESSA: Don't-be-too-long. (Barry-catches-up-with-Vanessa-and-he-sticks-out-his-arms-like-ana-irplane. He-rolls-from-side-to-side #and-Vanessa-copies-him-with-the-airplane) VANESSA: Watch-this! (Barry-stays-back-and-watches-as-Vanessa-draws-a-heart-in-the-air-using pink-smoke-from-the-plane #but-on-the-last-loop-the-loop-she-suddenly crashes-into-a-mountain-and-the-plane-explodes.-The-destroyed-plane-falls into-some-rocks-and-explodes-a-second-time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As-Barry-is-yelling-his-mouth-fills-with-honey-and-he-wakes-up #discovering-that-he-was-just-day-dreaming.-He-slowly-sinks-back-into-the honey-pool) MARTIN: --We're-still-here. JANET: --I-told-you-not-to-yell-at-him. -: He-doesn't-respond-to-yelling! MARTIN: --Then-why-yell-at-me? JANET: --Because-you-don't-listen! MARTIN: I'm-not-listening-to-this. BARRY: Sorry #I've-gotta-go. MARTIN: --Where-are-you-going? BARRY: --I'm-meeting-a-friend. JANET: A-girl?-Is-this-why-you-can't-decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry-flies-out-the-door-and-Martin-shakes-his-head) -: JANET== I-just-hope-she's-Bee-ish. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-sitting-on-Vanessa's-shoulder-and-she-is closing-up-her-shop) BARRY: They-have-a-huge-parade of-flowers-every-year-in-Pasadena? VANESSA: To-be-in-the-Tournament-of-Roses #that's-every-florist's-dream! -: Up-on-a-float #surrounded by-flowers #crowds-cheering. BARRY: A-tournament.-Do-the-roses compete-in-athletic-events? VANESSA: No.-All-right #I've-got-one. How-come-you-don't-fly-everywhere? BARRY: It's-exhausting.-Why-don't-you run-everywhere?-It's-faster. VANESSA: Yeah #OK #I-see #I-see. All-right #your-turn. BARRY: TiVo.-You-can-just-freeze-live-TV? That's-insane! VANESSA: You-don't-have-that? BARRY: We-have-Hivo #but-it's-a-disease. It's-a-horrible #horrible-disease. VANESSA: Oh #my. (A-human-walks-by-and-Barry-narrowly-avoids-him) PASSERBY: Dumb-bees! VANESSA: You-must-want-to-sting-all-those-jerks. BARRY: We-try-not-to-sting. It's-usually-fatal-for-us. VANESSA: So-you-have-to-watch-your-temper (They-walk-into-a-store) BARRY: Very-carefully. You-kick-a-wall #take-a-walk #: write-an-angry-letter-and-throw-it-out. Work-through-it-like-any-emotion: -: Anger #jealousy #lust. (Suddenly-an-employee(Hector)-hits-Barry-off-of-Vanessa's-shoulder.-Hector thinks-he's-saving-Vanessa) VANESSA: (To-Barry) Oh #my-goodness!-Are-you-OK? (Barry-is-getting-up-off-the-floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To-Hector) --What-is-wrong-with-you?! HECTOR: (Confused) --It's-a-bug. VANESSA: He's-not-bothering-anybody. Get-out-of-here #you-creep! (Vanessa-hits-Hector-across-the-face-with-the-magazine-he-had-and-then-hits him-in-the-head.-Hector-backs-away-covering-his-head) Barry: What-was-that?-A-Pic-'N'-Save-circular? (Vanessa-sets-Barry-back-on-her-shoulder) VANESSA: Yeah #it-was.-How-did-you-know? BARRY: It-felt-like-about-10-pages. Seventy-five-is-pretty-much-our-limit. VANESSA: You've-really-got-that down-to-a-science. BARRY: --Oh #we-have-to.-I-lost-a-cousin-to-Italian-Vogue. VANESSA: --I'll-bet. (Barry-looks-to-his-right-and-notices-there-is-honey-for-sale-in-the-aisle) BARRY: What-in-the-name of-Mighty-Hercules-is-this? (Barry-looks-at-all-the-brands-of-honey #shocked) How-did-this-get-here? Cute-Bee #Golden-Blossom #: Ray-Liotta-Private-Select? (Barry-puts-his-hands-up-and-slowly-turns-around #a-look-of-disgust-on-his face) VANESSA: --Is-he-that-actor? BARRY: --I-never-heard-of-him. -: --Why-is-this-here? VANESSA: --For-people.-We-eat-it. BARRY: You-don't-have enough-food-of-your-own?! (Hector-looks-back-and-notices-that-Vanessa-is-talking-to-Barry) VANESSA: --Well #yes. BARRY: --How-do-you-get-it? VANESSA: --Bees-make-it. BARRY: --I-know-who-makes-it! -: And-it's-hard-to-make-it! -: There's-heating #cooling #stirring. You-need-a-whole-Krelman-thing! VANESSA: --It's-organic. BARRY: --It's-our-ganic! VANESSA: It's-just-honey #Barry. BARRY: Just-what?! -: Bees-don't-know-about-this! This-is-stealing!-A-lot-of-stealing! -: You've-taken-our-homes #schools #hospitals!-This-is-all-we-have! -: And-it's-on-sale?! I'm-getting-to-the-bottom-of-this. -: I'm-getting-to-the-bottom of-all-of-this! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-paints-his-face-with-black-strikes-like-a soldier-and-sneaks-into-the-storage-section-of-the-store) (Two-men #including-Hector #are-loading-boxes-into-some-trucks) -: SUPERMARKET-EMPLOYEE== Hey #Hector. -: --You-almost-done? HECTOR: --Almost. (Barry-takes-a-step-to-peak-around-the-corner) (Whispering) He-is-here.-I-sense-it. -: Well #I-guess-I'll-go-home-now (Hector-pretends-to-walk-away-by-walking-in-place-and-speaking-loudly) -: and-just-leave-this-nice-honey-out #with-no-one-around. BARRY: You're-busted #box-boy! HECTOR: I-knew-I-heard-something! So-you-can-talk! BARRY: I-can-talk. And-now-you'll-start-talking! -: Where-you-getting-the-sweet-stuff? Who's-your-supplier? HECTOR: I-don't-understand. I-thought-we-were-friends. -: The-last-thing-we-want to-do-is-upset-bees! (Hector-takes-a-thumbtack-out-of-the-board-behind-him-and-sword-fights Barry.-Barry-is-using-his-stinger-like-a-sword) -: You're-too-late!-It's-ours-now! BARRY: You #sir #have-crossed the-wrong-sword! HECTOR: You #sir #will-be-lunch for-my-iguana #Ignacio! (Barry-hits-the-thumbtack-out-of-Hectors-hand-and-Hector-surrenders) Barry: Where-is-the-honey-coming-from? -: Tell-me-where! HECTOR: (Pointing-to-leaving-truck) Honey-Farms!-It-comes-from-Honey-Farms! (Barry-chases-after-the-truck-but-it-is-getting-away.-He-flies-onto-a bicyclists'-backpack-and-he-catches-up-to-the-truck) CAR-DRIVER: (To-bicyclist) Crazy-person! (Barry-flies-off-and-lands-on-the-windshield-of-the-Honey-farms-truck. Barry-looks-around-and-sees-dead-bugs-splattered-everywhere) BARRY: What-horrible-thing-has-happened-here? -: These-faces #they-never-knew what-hit-them.-And-now -: they're-on-the-road-to-nowhere! (Barry-hears-a-sudden-whisper) (Barry-looks-up-and-sees-Mooseblood #a-mosquito-playing-dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just-keep-still. BARRY: What?-You're-not-dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do-I-look-dead?-They-will-wipe-anything that-moves.-Where-you-headed? BARRY: To-Honey-Farms. I-am-onto-something-huge-here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm-going-to-Alaska.-Moose-blood #crazy-stuff.-Blows-your-head-off! ANOTHER-BUG-PLAYING-DEAD: I'm-going-to-Tacoma. (Barry-looks-at-another-bug) BARRY: --And-you? MOOSEBLOOD: --He-really-is-dead. BARRY: All-right. (Another-bug-hits-the-windshield-and-the-drivers-notice.-They-activate-the windshield-wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The-windshield-wipers-are-slowly-sliding-over-the-dead-bugs-and-wiping them-off) BARRY: --What-is-that?! MOOSEBLOOD: --Oh #no! -: --A-wiper!-Triple-blade! BARRY: --Triple-blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump-on!-It's-your-only-chance #bee! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-grab-onto-the-wiper-and-they-hold-on-as-it-wipes-the windshield) Why-does-everything-have to-be-so-doggone-clean?! -: How-much-do-you-people-need-to-see?! (Bangs-on-windshield) -: Open-your-eyes! Stick-your-head-out-the-window! RADIO-IN-TRUCK: From-NPR-News-in-Washington #I'm-Carl-Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But-don't-kill-no-more-bugs! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-are-washed-off-by-the-wipr-fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: --Bee! BARRY: --Moose-blood-guy!! (Barry-starts-screaming-as-he-hangs-onto-the-antenna) (Suddenly-it-is-revealed-that-a-water-bug-is-also-hanging-on-the-antenna. There-is-a-pause-and-then-Barry-and-the-water-bug-both-start-screaming) TRUCK-DRIVER: --You-hear-something? GUY-IN-TRUCK: --Like-what? TRUCK-DRIVER: Like-tiny-screaming. GUY-IN-TRUCK: Turn-off-the-radio. (The-antenna-starts-to-lower-until-it-gets-to-low-and-sinks-into-the-truck. The-water-bug-flies-off-and-Barry-is-forced-to-let-go-and-he-is-blown-away. He-luckily-lands-inside-a-horn-on-top-of-the-truck-where-he-finds Mooseblood #who-was-blown-into-the-same-place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup #bee-boy? BARRY: Hey #Blood. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-that-Barry-is-deep-in-conversation-with Mooseblood.-They-have-been-sitting-in-this-truck-for-a-while) BARRY: ...Just-a-row-of-honey-jars #as-far-as-the-eye-could-see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I-assume-wherever-this-truck-goes is-where-they're-getting-it. -: I-mean #that-honey's-ours. MOOSEBLOOD: --Bees-hang-tight. BARRY: --We're-all-jammed-in. -: It's-a-close-community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not-us #man.-We-on-our-own. Every-mosquito-on-his-own. BARRY: --What-if-you-get-in-trouble? MOOSEBLOOD: --You-a-mosquito #you-in-trouble. -: Nobody-likes-us.-They-just-smack. See-a-mosquito #smack #smack! BARRY: At-least-you're-out-in-the-world. You-must-meet-girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito-girls-try-to-trade-up #get-with-a-moth #dragonfly. -: Mosquito-girl-don't-want-no-mosquito. (An-ambulance-passes-by-and-it-has-a-blood-donation-sign-on-it) You-got-to-be-kidding-me! -: Mooseblood's-about-to-leave the-building!-So-long #bee! (Mooseblood-leaves-and-flies-onto-the-window-of-the-ambulance-where-there are-other-mosquito's-hanging-out) -: --Hey #guys! OTHER-MOSQUITO: --Mooseblood! MOOSEBLOOD: I-knew-I'd-catch-y'all-down-here. Did-you-bring-your-crazy-straw? (The-truck-goes-out-of-view-and-Barry-notices-that-the-truck-he's-on-is pulling-into-a-camp-of-some-sort) TRUCK-DRIVER: We-throw-it-in-jars #slap-a-label-on-it #and-it's-pretty-much-pure-profit. (Barry-flies-out) BARRY: What-is-this-place? BEEKEEPER-1#: A-bee's-got-a-brain the-size-of-a-pinhead. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-are-pinheads! -: Pinhead. -: --Check-out-the-new-smoker. BEEKEEPER-#1: --Oh #sweet.-That's-the-one-you-want. -: The-Thomas-3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER-#1: Ninety-puffs-a-minute #semi-automatic. Twice-the-nicotine #all-the-tar. -: A-couple-breaths-of-this knocks-them-right-out. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money. BARRY: 'They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money'? (The-Beekeeper-sprays-hundreds-of-cheap-miniature-apartments-with-the smoker.-The-bees-are-fainting-or-passing-out) Oh #my! -: What's-going-on?-Are-you-OK? (Barry-flies-into-one-of-the-apartment-and-helps-a-Bee-couple-get-off-the ground.-They-are-coughing-and-its-hard-for-them-to-stand) BEE-IN-APARTMENT: Yeah.-It-doesn't-last-too-long. BARRY: Do-you-know-you're in-a-fake-hive-with-fake-walls? BEE-IN-APPARTMENT: Our-queen-was-moved-here. We-had-no-choice. (The-apartment-room-is-completely-empty-except-for-a-photo-on-the-wall-of the-'queen'-who-is-obviously-a-man-in-women's-clothes) BARRY: This-is-your-queen? That's-a-man-in-women's-clothes! -: That's-a-drag-queen! -: What-is-this? (Barry-flies-out-and-he-discovers-that-there-are-hundreds-of-these structures #each-housing-thousands-of-Bees) Oh #no! -: There's-hundreds-of-them! (Barry-takes-out-his-camera-and-takes-pictures-of-these-Bee-work-camps.-The beekeepers-look-very-evil-in-these-depictions) Bee-honey. -: Our-honey-is-being-brazenly-stolen on-a-massive-scale! -: This-is-worse-than-anything-bears have-done!-I-intend-to-do-something. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-showing-these-pictures-to-his-parents) JANET: Oh #Barry #stop. MARTIN: Who-told-you-humans-are-taking our-honey?-That's-a-rumor. BARRY: Do-these-look-like-rumors? (Holds-up-the-pictures) UNCLE-CARL: That's-a-conspiracy-theory. These-are-obviously-doctored-photos. JANET: How-did-you-get-mixed-up-in-this? ADAM: He's-been-talking-to-humans. JANET: --What? MARTIN: --Talking-to-humans?! ADAM: He-has-a-human-girlfriend. And-they-make-out! JANET: Make-out?-Barry! BARRY: We-do-not. ADAM: --You-wish-you-could. MARTIN: --Whose-side-are-you-on? BARRY: The-bees! UNCLE-CARL: (He-has-been-sitting-in-the-back-of-the-room-this-entire-time) I-dated-a-cricket-once-in-San-Antonio. Those-crazy-legs-kept-me-up-all-night. JANET: Barry #this-is-what-you-want to-do-with-your-life? BARRY: I-want-to-do-it-for-all-our-lives. Nobody-works-harder-than-bees! -: Dad #I-remember-you coming-home-so-overworked -: your-hands-were-still-stirring. You-couldn't-stop. JANET: I-remember-that. BARRY: What-right-do-they-have-to-our-honey? -: We-live-on-two-cups-a-year.-They-put-it in-lip-balm-for-no-reason-whatsoever! ADAM: Even-if-it's-true #what-can-one-bee-do? BARRY: Sting-them-where-it-really-hurts. MARTIN: In-the-face!-The-eye! -: --That-would-hurt. BARRY: --No. MARTIN: Up-the-nose?-That's-a-killer. BARRY: There's-only-one-place-you-can-sting the-humans #one-place-where-it-matters. (Flash-forward-a-bit-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-Bee-News) BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: Hive-at-Five #the-hive's-only full-hour-action-news-source. BEE-PROTESTOR: No-more-bee-beards! BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: With-Bob-Bumble-at-the-anchor-desk. -: Weather-with-Storm-Stinger. -: Sports-with-Buzz-Larvi. -: And-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: --Good-evening.-I'm-Bob-Bumble. JEANETTE-CHUNG: --And-I'm-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: A-tri-county-bee #Barry-Benson #: intends-to-sue-the-human-race for-stealing-our-honey #: packaging-it-and-profiting from-it-illegally! JEANETTE-CHUNG: Tomorrow-night-on-Bee-Larry-King #: we'll-have-three-former-queens-here-in our-studio #discussing-their-new-book #: Classy-Ladies #out-this-week-on-Hexagon. (The-scene-changes-to-an-interview-on-the-news-with-Bee-version-of-Larry King-and-Barry) BEE-LARRY-KING: Tonight-we're-talking-to-Barry-Benson. -: Did-you-ever-think #'I'm-a-kid from-the-hive.-I-can't-do-this'? BARRY: Bees-have-never-been-afraid to-change-the-world. -: What-about-Bee-Columbus? Bee-Gandhi?-Bejesus? BEE-LARRY-KING: Where-I'm-from #we'd-never-sue-humans. -: We-were-thinking of-stickball-or-candy-stores. BARRY: How-old-are-you? BEE-LARRY-KING: The-bee-community is-supporting-you-in-this-case #: which-will-be-the-trial of-the-bee-century. BARRY: You-know #they-have-a-Larry-King in-the-human-world-too. BEE-LARRY-KING: It's-a-common-name.-Next-week... BARRY: He-looks-like-you-and-has-a-show and-suspenders-and-colored-dots... BEE-LARRY-KING: Next-week... BARRY: Glasses #quotes-on-the-bottom-from-the guest-even-though-you-just-heard-'em. BEE-LARRY-KING: Bear-Week-next-week! They're-scary #hairy-and-here #live. (Bee-Larry-King-gets-annoyed-and-flies-away-offscreen) BARRY: Always-leans-forward #pointy-shoulders #squinty-eyes #very-Jewish. (Flash-forward-in-time.-We-see-Vanessa-enter-and-Ken-enters-behind-her. They-are-arguing) KEN: In-tennis #you-attack at-the-point-of-weakness! VANESSA: It-was-my-grandmother #Ken.-She's-81. KEN== Honey #her-backhand's-a-joke! I'm-not-gonna-take-advantage-of-that? BARRY: (To-Ken) Quiet #please. Actual-work-going-on-here. KEN: (Pointing-at-Barry) --Is-that-that-same-bee? VANESSA: --Yes #it-is! -: I'm-helping-him-sue-the-human-race. BARRY: --Hello. KEN: --Hello #bee. VANESSA: This-is-Ken. BARRY: (Recalling-the-'Winter-Boots'-incident-earlier) Yeah #I-remember-you.-Timberland #size ten-and-a-half.-Vibram-sole #I-believe. KEN: (To-Vanessa) Why-does-he-talk-again? VANESSA: Listen #you-better-go 'cause-we're-really-busy-working. KEN: But-it's-our-yogurt-night! VANESSA: (Holding-door-open-for-Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why-is-yogurt-night-so-difficult?! (Ken-leaves-and-Vanessa-walks-over-to-Barry.-His-workplace-is-a-mess) VANESSA: You-poor-thing. You-two-have-been-at-this-for-hours! BARRY: Yes #and-Adam-here has-been-a-huge-help. ADAM: --Frosting... --How-many-sugars? -==BARRY== Just-one.-I-try-not to-use-the-competition. -: So-why-are-you-helping-me? VANESSA: Bees-have-good-qualities. -: And-it-takes-my-mind-off-the-shop. -: Instead-of-flowers #people are-giving-balloon-bouquets-now. BARRY: Those-are-great #if-you're-three. VANESSA: And-artificial-flowers. BARRY: --Oh #those-just-get-me-psychotic! VANESSA: --Yeah #me-too. -: BARRY: Bent-stingers #pointless-pollination. ADAM: Bees-must-hate-those-fake-things! -: Nothing-worse than-a-daffodil-that's-had-work-done. -: Maybe-this-could-make-up for-it-a-little-bit. VANESSA: --This-lawsuit's-a-pretty-big-deal. BARRY: --I-guess. ADAM: You-sure-you-want-to-go-through-with-it? BARRY: Am-I-sure?-When-I'm-done-with the-humans #they-won't-be-able -: to-say #'Honey #I'm-home #' without-paying-a-royalty! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-human-news.-The-camera-shows a-crowd-outside-a-courthouse) NEWS-REPORTER: It's-an-incredible-scene here-in-downtown-Manhattan #: where-the-world-anxiously-waits #because-for-the-first-time-in-history #: we-will-hear-for-ourselves if-a-honeybee-can-actually-speak. (We-are-no-longer-watching-through-a-news-camera) ADAM: What-have-we-gotten-into-here #Barry? BARRY: It's-pretty-big #isn't-it? ADAM== (Looking-at-the-hundreds-of-people-around-the-courthouse) I-can't-believe-how-many-humans don't-work-during-the-day. BARRY: You-think-billion-dollar-multinational food-companies-have-good-lawyers? SECURITY-GUARD: Everybody-needs-to-stay behind-the-barricade. (A-limousine-drives-up-and-a-fat-man #Layton-Montgomery #a-honey-industry owner-gets-out-and-walks-past-Barry) ADAM: --What's-the-matter? BARRY: --I-don't-know #I-just-got-a-chill. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-everyone-is-in-the-court) MONTGOMERY: Well #if-it-isn't-the-bee-team. (To-Honey-Industry-lawyers) You-boys-work-on-this? MAN: All-rise!-The-Honorable Judge-Bumbleton-presiding. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: All-right.-Case-number-4475 #: Superior-Court-of-New-York #Barry-Bee-Benson-v.-the-Honey-Industry -: is-now-in-session. -: Mr.-Montgomery #you're-representing the-five-food-companies-collectively? MONTGOMERY: A-privilege. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson...-you're-representing all-the-bees-of-the-world? (Everyone-looks-closely #they-are-waiting-to-see-if-a-Bee-can-really-talk) (Barry-makes-several-buzzing-sounds-to-sound-like-a-Bee) BARRY: I'm-kidding.-Yes #Your-Honor #we're-ready-to-proceed. JUDGE-BUMBLBETON: Mr.-Montgomery #your-opening-statement #please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies-and-gentlemen-of-the-jury #: my-grandmother-was-a-simple-woman. -: Born-on-a-farm #she-believed it-was-man's-divine-right -: to-benefit-from-the-bounty of-nature-God-put-before-us. -: If-we-lived-in-the-topsy-turvy-world Mr.-Benson-imagines #: just-think-of-what-would-it-mean. -: I-would-have-to-negotiate with-the-silkworm -: for-the-elastic-in-my-britches! -: Talking-bee! (Montgomery-walks-over-and-looks-closely-at-Barry) -: How-do-we-know-this-isn't-some-sort-of -: holographic-motion-picture-capture Hollywood-wizardry? -: They-could-be-using-laser-beams! -: Robotics!-Ventriloquism! Cloning!-For-all-we-know #: he-could-be-on-steroids! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson? BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #there's-no-trickery-here. -: I'm-just-an-ordinary-bee. Honey's-pretty-important-to-me. -: It's-important-to-all-bees. We-invented-it! -: We-make-it.-And-we-protect-it with-our-lives. -: Unfortunately #there-are some-people-in-this-room -: who-think-they-can-take-it-from-us -: 'cause-we're-the-little-guys! I'm-hoping-that #after-this-is-all-over #: you'll-see-how #by-taking-our-honey #you-not-only-take-everything-we-have -: but-everything-we-are! JANET== (To-Martin) I-wish-he'd-dress-like-that all-the-time.-So-nice! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Call-your-first-witness. BARRY: So #Mr.-Klauss-Vanderhayden of-Honey-Farms #big-company-you-have. KLAUSS-VANDERHAYDEN: I-suppose-so. BARRY: I-see-you-also-own Honeyburton-and-Honron! KLAUSS: Yes #they-provide-beekeepers for-our-farms. BARRY: Beekeeper.-I-find-that to-be-a-very-disturbing-term. -: I-don't-imagine-you-employ any-bee-free-ers #do-you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) --No. BARRY: --I-couldn't-hear-you. KLAUSS: --No. BARRY: --No. -: Because-you-don't-free-bees. You-keep-bees.-Not-only-that #: it-seems-you-thought-a-bear-would-be an-appropriate-image-for-a-jar-of-honey. KLAUSS: They're-very-lovable-creatures. -: Yogi-Bear #Fozzie-Bear #Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You-mean-like-this? (The-bear-from-Over-The-Hedge-barges-in-through-the-back-door-and-it-is roaring-and-standing-on-its-hind-legs.-It-is-thrashing-its-claws-and-people are-screaming.-It-is-being-held-back-by-a-guard-who-has-the-bear-on-a chain) -: (Pointing-to-the-roaring-bear) Bears-kill-bees! -: How'd-you-like-his-head-crashing through-your-living-room?! -: Biting-into-your-couch! Spitting-out-your-throw-pillows! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: OK #that's-enough.-Take-him-away. (The-bear-stops-roaring-and-thrashing-and-walks-out) BARRY: So #Mr.-Sting #thank-you-for-being-here. Your-name-intrigues-me. -: --Where-have-I-heard-it-before? MR.-STING: --I-was-with-a-band-called-The-Police. BARRY: But-you've-never-been a-police-officer #have-you? STING: No #I-haven't. BARRY: No #you-haven't.-And-so-here we-have-yet-another-example -: of-bee-culture-casually stolen-by-a-human -: for-nothing-more-than a-prance-about-stage-name. STING: Oh #please. BARRY: Have-you-ever-been-stung #Mr.-Sting? -: Because-I'm-feeling a-little-stung #Sting. -: Or-should-I-say...-Mr.-Gordon-M.-Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's-not-his-real-name?!-You-idiots! BARRY: Mr.-Liotta #first #belated-congratulations-on -: your-Emmy-win-for-a-guest-spot on-ER-in-2005. RAY-LIOTTA: Thank-you.-Thank-you. BARRY: I-see-from-your-resume that-you're-devilishly-handsome -: with-a-churning-inner-turmoil that's-ready-to-blow. RAY-LIOTTA: I-enjoy-what-I-do.-Is-that-a-crime? BARRY: Not-yet-it-isn't.-But-is-this what-it's-come-to-for-you? -: Exploiting-tiny #helpless-bees so-you-don't -: have-to-rehearse your-part-and-learn-your-lines #sir? RAY-LIOTTA: Watch-it #Benson! I-could-blow-right-now! BARRY: This-isn't-a-goodfella. This-is-a-badfella! (Ray-Liotta-looses-it-and-tries-to-grab-Barry) RAY-LIOTTA: Why-doesn't-someone-just-step-on this-creep #and-we-can-all-go-home?! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: --Order-in-this-court! RAY-LIOTTA: --You're-all-thinking-it! (Judge-Bumbleton-starts-banging-her-gavel) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Order!-Order #I-say! RAY-LIOTTA: --Say-it! MAN: --Mr.-Liotta #please-sit-down! (We-see-a-montage-of-magazines-which-feature-the-court-case) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-back-home-with-Vanessa) BARRY: I-think-it-was-awfully-nice of-that-bear-to-pitch-in-like-that. VANESSA: I-think-the-jury's-on-our-side. BARRY: Are-we-doing-everything-right #you-know #legally? VANESSA: I'm-a-florist. BARRY: Right.-Well #here's-to-a-great-team. VANESSA: To-a-great-team! (Ken-walks-in-from-work.-He-sees-Barry-and-he-looks-upset-when-he-sees Barry-clinking-his-glass-with-Vanessa) KEN: Well #hello. VANESSA: --Oh #Ken! BARRY: --Hello! VANESSA: I-didn't-think-you-were-coming. -: No #I-was-just-late. I-tried-to-call #but... (Ken-holds-up-his-phone-and-flips-it-open.-The-phone-has-no-charge) ...the-battery... VANESSA: I-didn't-want-all-this-to-go-to-waste #so-I-called-Barry.-Luckily #he-was-free. KEN: Oh #that-was-lucky. (Ken-sits-down-at-the-table-across-from-Barry-and-Vanessa-leaves-the-room) VANESSA: There's-a-little-left. I-could-heat-it-up. KEN: (Not-taking-his-eyes-off-Barry) Yeah #heat-it-up #sure #whatever. BARRY: So-I-hear-you're-quite-a-tennis-player. -: I'm-not-much-for-the-game-myself. The-ball's-a-little-grabby. KEN: That's-where-I-usually-sit. Right... (Points-to-where-Barry-is-sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling-from-other-room) Ken #Barry-was-looking-at-your-resume #: and-he-agreed-with-me-that-eating-with chopsticks-isn't-really-a-special-skill. KEN: (To-Barry) You-think-I-don't-see-what-you're-doing? BARRY: I-know-how-hard-it-is-to-find the-right-job.-We-have-that-in-common. KEN: Do-we? BARRY: Bees-have-100-percent-employment #but-we-do-jobs-like-taking-the-crud-out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's-just-what I-was-thinking-about-doing. (Ken-reaches-for-a-fork-on-the-table-but-knocks-if-on-the-floor.-He-goes-to pick-it-up) VANESSA: Ken #I-let-Barry-borrow-your-razor for-his-fuzz.-I-hope-that-was-all-right. (Ken-quickly-rises-back-up-after-hearing-this-but-hits-his-head-on-the table-and-yells) BARRY: I'm-going-to-drain-the-old-stinger. KEN: Yeah #you-do-that. (Barry-flies-past-Ken-to-get-to-the-bathroom-and-Ken-freaks-out #splashing some-of-the-wine-he-was-using-to-cool-his-head-in-his-eyes.-He-yells-in anger) (Barry-looks-at-the-magazines-featuring-his-victories-in-court) BARRY: Look-at-that. (Barry-flies-into-the-bathroom) (He-puts-his-hand-on-his-head-but-this-makes-hurts-him-and-makes-him-even madder.-He-yells-again) (Barry-is-washing-his-hands-in-the-sink-but-then-Ken-walks-in) KEN: You-know #you-know-I've-just-about-had-it (Closes-bathroom-door-behind-him) with-your-little-mind-games. (Ken-is-menacingly-rolling-up-a-magazine) BARRY: (Backing-away) --What's-that? KEN: --Italian-Vogue. BARRY: Mamma-mia #that's-a-lot-of-pages. KEN: It's-a-lot-of-ads. BARRY: Remember-what-Van-said #why-is your-life-more-valuable-than-mine? KEN: That's-funny #I-just-can't-seem-to-recall-that! (Ken-smashes-everything-off-the-sink-with-the-magazine-and-Barry-narrowly escapes) (Ken-follows-Barry-around-and-tries-to-hit-him-with-the-magazine-but-he keeps-missing) (Ken-gets-a-spray-bottle) -: I-think-something-stinks-in-here! BARRY: (Enjoying-the-spray) I-love-the-smell-of-flowers. (Ken-holds-a-lighter-in-front-of-the-spray-bottle) KEN: How-do-you-like-the-smell-of-flames?! BARRY: Not-as-much. (Ken-fires-his-make-shift-flamethrower-but-misses-Barry #burning-the bathroom.-He-torches-the-whole-room-but-looses-his-footing-and-falls-into the-bathtub.-After-getting-hit-in-the-head-by-falling-objects-3-times-he picks-up-the-shower-head #revealing-a-Water-bug-hiding-under-it) WATER-BUG: Water-bug!-Not-taking-sides! (Barry-gets-up-out-of-a-pile-of-bathroom-supplies-and-he-is-wearing-a chapstick-hat) BARRY: Ken #I'm-wearing-a-Chapstick-hat! This-is-pathetic! (Ken-switches-the-shower-head-to-lethal) KEN: I've-got-issues! (Ken-sprays-Barry-with-the-shower-head-and-he-crash-lands-into-the-toilet) (Ken-menacingly-looks-down-into-the-toilet-at-Barry) Well #well #well #a-royal-flush! BARRY: --You're-bluffing. KEN: --Am-I? (flushes-toilet) (Barry-grabs-a-chapstick-from-the-toilet-seat-and-uses-it-to-surf-in-the flushing-toilet) BARRY: Surf's-up #dude! (Barry-flies-out-of-the-toilet-on-the-chapstick-and-sprays-Ken's-face-with the-toilet-water) -: EW #Poo-water! BARRY: That-bowl-is-gnarly. KEN: (Aiming-a-toilet-cleaner-at-Barry) Except-for-those-dirty-yellow-rings! (Barry-cowers-and-covers-his-head-and-Vanessa-runs-in-and-takes-the-toilet cleaner-from-Ken-just-before-he-hits-Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth!-What-are-you-doing?! KEN== (Leaning-towards-Barry) You-know #I-don't-even-like-honey! I-don't-eat-it! VANESSA: We-need-to-talk! (Vanessa-pulls-Ken-out-of-the-bathroom) -: He's-just-a-little-bee! -: And-he-happens-to-be the-nicest-bee-I've-met-in-a-long-time! KEN: Long-time?-What-are-you-talking-about?! Are-there-other-bugs-in-your-life? VANESSA: No #but-there-are-other-things-bugging me-in-life.-And-you're-one-of-them! KEN: Fine!-Talking-bees #no-yogurt-night... -: My-nerves-are-fried-from-riding on-this-emotional-roller-coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye #Ken. (Ken-huffs-and-walks-out-and-slams-the-door.-But-suddenly-he-walks-back-in and-stares-at-Barry) -: And-for-your-information #I-prefer-sugar-free #artificial sweeteners-MADE-BY-MAN! (Ken-leaves-again-and-Vanessa-leans-in-towards-Barry) VANESSA: I'm-sorry-about-all-that. (Ken-walks-back-in-again) KEN: I-know-it's-got an-aftertaste!-I-LIKE-IT! (Ken-leaves-for-the-last-time) VANESSA: I-always-felt-there-was-some-kind of-barrier-between-Ken-and-me. -: I-couldn't-overcome-it. Oh #well. -: Are-you-OK-for-the-trial? BARRY: I-believe-Mr.-Montgomery is-about-out-of-ideas. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry #Adam #and-Vanessa-are-back-in-court) MONTGOMERY-- We-would-like-to-call Mr.-Barry-Benson-Bee-to-the-stand. ADAM: Good-idea!-You-can-really-see-why-he's considered-one-of-the-best-lawyers... (Barry-stares-at-Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton #you've gotta-weave-some-magic with-this-jury #or-it's-gonna-be-all-over. MONTGOMERY: Don't-worry.-The-only-thing-I-have to-do-to-turn-this-jury-around -: is-to-remind-them of-what-they-don't-like-about-bees. (To-lawyer) --You-got-the-tweezers? LAWYER: --Are-you-allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only-to-losing #son.-Only-to-losing. -: Mr.-Benson-Bee #I'll-ask-you what-I-think-we'd-all-like-to-know. -: What-exactly-is-your-relationship (Points-to-Vanessa) -: to-that-woman? BARRY: We're-friends. MONTGOMERY: --Good-friends? BARRY: --Yes. MONTGOMERY: How-good?-Do-you-live-together? ADAM: Wait-a-minute... -: MONTGOMERY: Are-you-her-little... -: ...bedbug? (Adam's-stinger-starts-vibrating.-He-is-agitated) I've-seen-a-bee-documentary-or-two. From-what-I-understand #: doesn't-your-queen-give-birth to-all-the-bee-children? BARRY: --Yeah #but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing-at-Janet-and-Martin) --So-those-aren't-your-real-parents! JANET: --Oh #Barry... BARRY: --Yes #they-are! ADAM: Hold-me-back! (Vanessa-tries-to-hold-Adam-back.-He-wants-to-sting-Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're-an-illegitimate-bee #aren't-you #Benson? ADAM: He's-denouncing-bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't-y'all-date-your-cousins? (Montgomery-leans-over-on-the-jury-stand-and-stares-at-Adam) VANESSA: --Objection! (Vanessa-raises-her-hand-to-object-but-Adam-gets-free.-He-flies-straight-at Montgomery) =ADAM: --I'm-going-to-pincushion-this-guy! BARRY: Adam #don't!-It's-what-he-wants! (Adam-stings-Montgomery-in-the-butt-and-he-starts-thrashing-around) MONTGOMERY: Oh #I'm-hit!! -: Oh #lordy #I-am-hit! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: (Banging-gavel) Order!-Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The-venom!-The-venom is-coursing-through-my-veins! -: I-have-been-felled by-a-winged-beast-of-destruction! -: You-see?-You-can't-treat-them like-equals!-They're-striped-savages! -: Stinging's-the-only-thing they-know!-It's-their-way! BARRY: --Adam #stay-with-me. ADAM: --I-can't-feel-my-legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting-and-throwing-his-body-around-the-room) What-angel-of-mercy will-come-forward-to-suck-the-poison -: from-my-heaving-buttocks? JUDGE-BUMLBETON: I-will-have-order-in-this-court.-Order! -: Order #please! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-see-a-human-news-reporter) NEWS-REPORTER: The-case-of-the-honeybees versus-the-human-race -: took-a-pointed-turn-against-the-bees -: yesterday-when-one-of-their-legal team-stung-Layton-T.-Montgomery. (Adam-is-laying-in-a-hospital-bed-and-Barry-flies-in-to-see-him) BARRY: --Hey #buddy. ADAM: --Hey. BARRY: --Is-there-much-pain? ADAM: --Yeah. -: I... -: I-blew-the-whole-case #didn't-I? BARRY: It-doesn't-matter.-What-matters-is you're-alive.-You-could-have-died. ADAM: I'd-be-better-off-dead.-Look-at-me. (A-small-plastic-sword-is-replaced-as-Adam's-stinger) They-got-it-from-the-cafeteria downstairs #in-a-tuna-sandwich. -: Look #there's a-little-celery-still-on-it. (Flicks-off-the-celery-and-sighs) BARRY: What-was-it-like-to-sting-someone? ADAM: I-can't-explain-it.-It-was-all... -: All-adrenaline-and-then... and-then-ecstasy! BARRY: ...All-right. ADAM: You-think-it-was-all-a-trap? BARRY: Of-course.-I'm-sorry. I-flew-us-right-into-this. -: What-were-we-thinking?-Look-at-us.-We're just-a-couple-of-bugs-in-this-world. ADAM: What-will-the-humans-do-to-us if-they-win? BARRY: I-don't-know. ADAM: I-hear-they-put-the-roaches-in-motels. That-doesn't-sound-so-bad. BARRY: Adam #they-check-in #but-they-don't-check-out! ADAM: Oh #my. (Coughs) Could-you-get-a-nurse to-close-that-window? BARRY: --Why? ADAM: --The-smoke. (We-can-see-that-two-humans-are-smoking-cigarettes-outside) -: Bees-don't-smoke. BARRY: Right.-Bees-don't-smoke. -: Bees-don't-smoke! But-some-bees-are-smoking. -: That's-it!-That's-our-case! ADAM: It-is?-It's-not-over? BARRY: Get-dressed.-I've-gotta-go-somewhere. -: Get-back-to-the-court-and-stall. Stall-any-way-you-can. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Adam-is-making-a-paper-boat-in-the-courtroom) ADAM: And-assuming-you've-done-step-29-correctly #you're-ready-for-the-tub! (We-see-that-the-jury-have-each-made-their-own-paper-boats-after-being taught-how-by-Adam.-They-all-look-confused) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman. ADAM: Yes?-Yes #Your-Honor! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Where-is-the-rest-of-your-team? ADAM: (Continues-stalling) Well #Your-Honor #it's-interesting. -: Bees-are-trained-to-fly-haphazardly #: and-as-a-result #we-don't-make-very-good-time. -: I-actually-heard-a-funny-story-about... MONTGOMERY: Your-Honor #haven't-these-ridiculous-bugs -: taken-up-enough of-this-court's-valuable-time? -: How-much-longer-will-we-allow these-absurd-shenanigans-to-go-on? -: They-have-presented-no-compelling evidence-to-support-their-charges -: against-my-clients #who-run-legitimate-businesses. -: I-move-for-a-complete-dismissal of-this-entire-case! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman #I'm-afraid-I'm-going -: to-have-to-consider Mr.-Montgomery's-motion. ADAM: But-you-can't!-We-have-a-terrific-case. MONTGOMERY: Where-is-your-proof? Where-is-the-evidence? -: Show-me-the-smoking-gun! BARRY: (Barry-flies-in-through-the-door) Hold-it #Your-Honor! You-want-a-smoking-gun? -: Here-is-your-smoking-gun. (Vanessa-walks-in-holding-a-bee-smoker.-She-sets-it-down-on-the-Judge's podium) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: What-is-that? BARRY: It's-a-bee-smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks-up-smoker) What #this? This-harmless-little-contraption? -: This-couldn't-hurt-a-fly #let-alone-a-bee. (Montgomery-accidentally-fires-it-at-the-bees-in-the-crowd-and-they-faint and-cough) (Dozens-of-reporters-start-taking-pictures-of-the-suffering-bees) BARRY: Look-at-what-has-happened -: to-bees-who-have-never-been-asked #'Smoking-or-non?' -: Is-this-what-nature-intended-for-us? -: To-be-forcibly-addicted to-smoke-machines -: and-man-made-wooden-slat-work-camps? -: Living-out-our-lives-as-honey-slaves to-the-white-man? (Barry-points-to-the-honey-industry-owners.-One-of-them-is-an-African American-so-he-awkwardly-separates-himself-from-the-others) LAWYER: --What-are-we-gonna-do? --He's-playing-the-species-card. BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #please #free-these-bees! ADAM-AND-VANESSA: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! BEES-IN-CROWD: Free-the-bees! HUMAN-JURY: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: The-court-finds-in-favor-of-the-bees! BARRY: Vanessa #we-won! VANESSA: I-knew-you-could-do-it!-High-five! (Vanessa-hits-Barry-hard-because-her-hand-is-too-big) -: Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm-OK!-You-know-what-this-means? -: All-the-honey will-finally-belong-to-the-bees. -: Now-we-won't-have to-work-so-hard-all-the-time. MONTGOMERY: This-is-an-unholy-perversion of-the-balance-of-nature #Benson. -: You'll-regret-this. (Montgomery-leaves-and-Barry-goes-outside-the-courtroom.-Several-reporters start-asking-Barry-questions) REPORTER-1#: Barry #how-much-honey-is-out-there? BARRY: All-right.-One-at-a-time. REPORTER-2#: Barry #who-are-you-wearing? BARRY: My-sweater-is-Ralph-Lauren #and-I-have-no-pants. (Barry-flies-outside-with-the-paparazzi-and-Adam-and-Vanessa-stay-back) ADAM: (To-Vanessa) --What-if-Montgomery's-right? Vanessa: --What-do-you-mean? ADAM: We've-been-living-the-bee-way a-long-time #27-million-years. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-a-man) BUSINESS-MAN: Congratulations-on-your-victory. What-will-you-demand-as-a-settlement? BARRY: First #we'll-demand-a-complete-shutdown of-all-bee-work-camps. (As-Barry-is-talking-we-see-a-montage-of-men-putting-'closed'-tape-over-the work-camps-and-freeing-the-bees-in-the-crappy-apartments) Then-we-want-back-the-honey that-was-ours-to-begin-with #: every-last-drop. (Men-in-suits-are-pushing-all-the-honey-of-the-aisle-and-into-carts) We-demand-an-end-to-the-glorification of-the-bear-as-anything-more (We-see-a-statue-of-a-bear-shaped-honey-container-being-pulled-down-by bees) than-a-filthy #smelly #bad-breath-stink-machine. -: We're-all-aware of-what-they-do-in-the-woods. (We-see-Winnie-the-Pooh-sharing-his-honey-with-Piglet-in-the-cross-hairs-of a-high-tech-sniper-rifle) BARRY: (Looking-through-binoculars) Wait-for-my-signal. -: Take-him-out. (Winnie-gets-hit-by-a-tranquilizer-dart-and-dramatically-falls-off-the-log he-was-standing-on #his-tongue-hanging-out.-Piglet-looks-at-Pooh-in-fear and-the-Sniper-takes-the-honey.) SNIPER: He'll-have-nausea for-a-few-hours #then-he'll-be-fine. (Flash-forward-in-time) BARRY: And-we-will-no-longer-tolerate bee-negative-nicknames... (Mr.-Sting-is-sitting-at-home-until-he-is-taken-out-of-his-house-by-the-men in-suits) STING: But-it's-just-a-prance-about-stage-name! BARRY: ...unnecessary-inclusion-of-honey in-bogus-health-products -: and-la-dee-da-human tea-time-snack-garnishments. (An-old-lady-is-mixing-honey-into-her-tea-but-suddenly-men-in-suits-smash her-face-down-on-the-table-and-take-the-honey) OLD-LADY: Can't-breathe. (A-honey-truck-pulls-up-to-Barry's-hive) WORKER: Bring-it-in #boys! -: Hold-it-right-there!-Good. -: Tap-it. (Tons-of-honey-is-being-pumped-into-the-hive's-storage) BEE-WORKER-1#: (Honey-overflows-from-the-cup) Mr.-Buzzwell #we-just-passed-three-cups #and-there's-gallons-more-coming! -: --I-think-we-need-to-shut-down! =BEE-WORKER-#2= --Shut-down?-We've-never-shut-down. -: Shut-down-honey-production! DEAN-BUZZWELL: Stop-making-honey! (The-bees-all-leave-their-stations.-Two-bees-run-into-a-room-and-they-put the-keys-into-a-machine) Turn-your-key #sir! (Two-worker-bees-dramatically-turn-their-keys #which-opens-the-button-which they-press #shutting-down-the-honey-making-machines.-This-is-the-first-time this-has-ever-happened) BEE: ...What-do-we-do-now? (Flash-forward-in-time-and-a-Bee-is-about-to-jump-into-a-pool-full-of honey) Cannonball! (The-bee-gets-stuck-in-the-honey-and-we-get-a-short-montage-of-Bees-leaving work) (We-see-the-Pollen-Jocks-flying-but-one-of-them-gets-a-call-on-his-antenna) LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') We're-shutting-honey-production! -: Mission-abort. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Aborting-pollination-and-nectar-detail. Returning-to-base. (The-Pollen-Jocks-fly-back-to-the-hive) (We-get-a-time-lapse-of-Central-Park-slowly-wilting-away-as-the-bees-all relax) BARRY: Adam #you-wouldn't-believe how-much-honey-was-out-there. ADAM: Oh #yeah? BARRY: What's-going-on?-Where-is-everybody? (The-entire-street-is-deserted) -: --Are-they-out-celebrating? ADAM: --They're-home. -: They-don't-know-what-to-do. Laying-out #sleeping-in. -: I-heard-your-Uncle-Carl-was-on-his-way to-San-Antonio-with-a-cricket. BARRY: At-least-we-got-our-honey-back. ADAM: Sometimes-I-think #so-what-if-humans liked-our-honey?-Who-wouldn't? -: It's-the-greatest-thing-in-the-world! I-was-excited-to-be-part-of-making-it. -: This-was-my-new-desk.-This-was-my new-job.-I-wanted-to-do-it-really-well. -: And-now... -: Now-I-can't. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-Vanessa) BARRY: I-don't-understand why-they're-not-happy. -: I-thought-their-lives-would-be-better! -: They're-doing-nothing.-It's-amazing. Honey-really-changes-people. VANESSA: You-don't-have-any-idea what's-going-on #do-you? BARRY: --What-did-you-want-to-show-me? (Vanessa-takes-Barry-to-the-rooftop-where-they-first-had-coffee-and-points to-her-store) VANESSA: --This. (Points-at-her-flowers.-They-are-all-grey-and-wilting) BARRY: What-happened-here? VANESSA: That-is-not-the-half-of-it. (Small-flash-forward-in-time-and-Vanessa-and-Barry-are-on-the-roof-of-her store-and-she-points-to-Central-Park) (We-see-that-Central-Park-is-no-longer-green-and-colorful #rather-it-is grey #brown #and-dead-like.-It-is-very-depressing-to-look-at) BARRY: Oh #no.-Oh #my. -: They're-all-wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't-look-very-good #does-it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And-whose-fault-do-you-think-that-is? BARRY: You-know #I'm-gonna-guess-bees. VANESSA== (Staring-at-Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically #me. -: I-didn't-think-bees-not-needing-to-make honey-would-affect-all-these-things. VANESSA: It's-not-just-flowers. Fruits #vegetables #they-all-need-bees. BARRY: That's-our-whole-SAT-test-right-there. VANESSA: Take-away-produce #that-affects the-entire-animal-kingdom. -: And-then #of-course... BARRY: The-human-species? -: So-if-there's-no-more-pollination #: it-could-all-just-go-south-here #couldn't-it? VANESSA: I-know-this-is-also-partly-my-fault. BARRY: How-about-a-suicide-pact? VANESSA: How-do-we-do-it? BARRY: --I'll-sting-you #you-step-on-me. VANESSA: --That-just-kills-you-twice. BARRY: Right #right. VANESSA: Listen #Barry... sorry #but-I-gotta-get-going. (Vanessa-leaves) BARRY: (To-himself) I-had-to-open-my-mouth-and-talk. -: Vanessa? -: Vanessa?-Why-are-you-leaving? Where-are-you-going? (Vanessa-is-getting-into-a-taxi) VANESSA: To-the-final-Tournament-of-Roses-parade in-Pasadena. -: They've-moved-it-to-this-weekend because-all-the-flowers-are-dying. -: It's-the-last-chance I'll-ever-have-to-see-it. BARRY: Vanessa #I-just-wanna-say-I'm-sorry. I-never-meant-it-to-turn-out-like-this. VANESSA: I-know.-Me-neither. (The-taxi-starts-to-drive-away) BARRY: Tournament-of-Roses. Roses-can't-do-sports. -: Wait-a-minute.-Roses.-Roses? -: Roses! -: Vanessa! (Barry-flies-after-the-Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! -: Barry? (Barry-is-flying-outside-the-window-of-the-taxi) BARRY: --Roses-are-flowers! VANESSA: --Yes #they-are. BARRY: Flowers #bees #pollen! VANESSA: I-know. That's-why-this-is-the-last-parade. BARRY: Maybe-not. Could-you-ask-him-to-slow-down? VANESSA: Could-you-slow-down? (The-taxi-driver-screeches-to-a-stop-and-Barry-keeps-flying-forward) -: Barry! (Barry-flies-back-to-the-window) BARRY: OK #I-made-a-huge-mistake. This-is-a-total-disaster #all-my-fault. VANESSA: Yes #it-kind-of-is. BARRY: I've-ruined-the-planet. I-wanted-to-help-you -: with-the-flower-shop. I've-made-it-worse. VANESSA: Actually #it's-completely-closed-down. BARRY: I-thought-maybe-you-were-remodeling. -: But-I-have-another-idea #and-it's greater-than-my-previous-ideas-combined. VANESSA: I-don't-want-to-hear-it! BARRY: All-right #they-have-the-roses #the-roses-have-the-pollen. -: I-know-every-bee #plant and-flower-bud-in-this-park. -: All-we-gotta-do-is-get-what-they've-got back-here-with-what-we've-got. -: --Bees. VANESSA: --Park. BARRY: --Pollen! VANESSA: --Flowers. BARRY: --Re-pollination! VANESSA: --Across-the-nation! -: Tournament-of-Roses #Pasadena #California. -: They've-got-nothing but-flowers #floats-and-cotton-candy. -: Security-will-be-tight. BARRY: I-have-an-idea. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Vanessa-is-about-to-board-a-plane-which-has-all-the Roses-on-board. VANESSA: Vanessa-Bloome #FTD. (Holds-out-badge) -: Official-floral-business.-It's-real. SECURITY-GUARD: Sorry #ma'am.-Nice-brooch. =VANESSA== Thank-you.-It-was-a-gift. (Barry-is-revealed-to-be-hiding-inside-the-brooch) (Flash-back-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-discussing-their-plan) BARRY: Once-inside #we-just-pick-the-right-float. VANESSA: How-about-The-Princess-and-the-Pea? -: I-could-be-the-princess #and-you-could-be-the-pea! BARRY: Yes #I-got-it. -: --Where-should-I-sit? GUARD: --What-are-you? BARRY: --I-believe-I'm-the-pea. GUARD: --The-pea? VANESSA: It-goes-under-the-mattresses. GUARD: --Not-in-this-fairy-tale #sweetheart. --I'm-getting-the-marshal. VANESSA: You-do-that! This-whole-parade-is-a-fiasco! -: Let's-see-what-this-baby'll-do. (Vanessa-drives-the-float-through-traffic) GUARD: Hey #what-are-you-doing?! BARRY== Then-all-we-do is-blend-in-with-traffic... -: ...without-arousing-suspicion. -: Once-at-the-airport #there's-no-stopping-us. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-about-to-get-on-a-plane) SECURITY-GUARD: Stop!-Security. -: --You-and-your-insect-pack-your-float? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Has-it-been in-your-possession-the-entire-time? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Would-you-remove-your-shoes? (To-Barry) --Remove-your-stinger. BARRY: --It's-part-of-me. SECURITY-GUARD: I-know.-Just-having-some-fun. Enjoy-your-flight. (Barry-plotting-with-Vanessa) BARRY: Then-if-we're-lucky #we'll-have just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-flying-on-the-plane) Can-you-believe-how-lucky-we-are?-We have-just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job! VANESSA: I-think-this-is-gonna-work. BARRY: It's-got-to-work. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: (On-intercom) Attention #passengers #this-is-Captain-Scott. -: We-have-a-bit-of-bad-weather in-New-York. -: It-looks-like-we'll-experience a-couple-hours-delay. VANESSA: Barry #these-are-cut-flowers with-no-water.-They'll-never-make-it. BARRY: I-gotta-get-up-there and-talk-to-them. VANESSA== Be-careful. (Barry-flies-right-outside-the-cockpit-door) BARRY: Can-I-get-help with-the-Sky-Mall-magazine? I'd-like-to-order-the-talking inflatable-nose-and-ear-hair-trimmer. (The-flight-attendant-opens-the-door-and-walks-out-and-Barry-flies-into-the cockpit-unseen) BARRY: Captain #I'm-in-a-real-situation. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: --What'd-you-say #Hal? CO-PILOT-HAL: --Nothing. (Scott-notices-Barry-and-freaks-out) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No #no #no #Don't-freak-out!-My-entire-species... (Captain-Scott-gets-out-of-his-seat-and-tries-to-suck-Barry-into-a-handheld vacuum) HAL: (To-Scott) What-are-you-doing? (Barry-lands-on-Hals-hair-but-Scott-sees-him.-He-tries-to-suck-up-Barry-but instead-he-sucks-up-Hals-toupee) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: --Wait-a-minute!-I'm-an-attorney! HAL: (Hal-doesn't-know-Barry-is-on-his-head) --Who's-an-attorney? CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Don't-move. (Scott-hits-Hal-in-the-face-with-the-vacuum-in-an-attempt-to-hit-Barry.-Hal is-knocked-out-and-he-falls-on-the-life-raft-button-which-launches-an infalatable-boat-into-Scott #who-gets-knocked-out-and-falls-to-the-floor. They-are-both-uncounscious.) BARRY: (To-himself) Oh #Barry. BARRY: (On-intercom #with-a-Southern-accent) Good-afternoon #passengers. This-is-your-captain. -: Would-a-Miss-Vanessa-Bloome-in-24B please-report-to-the-cockpit? (Vanessa-looks-confused) (Normal-accent) ...And-please-hurry! (Vanessa-opens-the-door-and-sees-the-life-raft-and-the-uncounscious-pilots) VANESSA: What-happened-here? BARRY: I-tried-to-talk-to-them #but then-there-was-a-DustBuster #a-toupee #a-life-raft-exploded. -: Now-one's-bald #one's-in-a-boat #and-they're-both-unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is-that-another-bee-joke? BARRY: --No! -: No-one's-flying-the-plane! BUD-DITCHWATER: (Through-radio-on-plane) This-is-JFK-control-tower #Flight-356. What's-your-status? VANESSA: This-is-Vanessa-Bloome. I'm-a-florist-from-New-York. BUD: Where's-the-pilot? VANESSA: He's-unconscious #and-so-is-the-copilot. BUD: Not-good.-Does-anyone-onboard have-flight-experience? BARRY: As-a-matter-of-fact #there-is. BUD: --Who's-that? BARRY: --Barry-Benson. BUD: From-the-honey-trial?!-Oh #great. BARRY: Vanessa #this-is-nothing-more than-a-big-metal-bee. -: It's-got-giant-wings #huge-engines. VANESSA: I-can't-fly-a-plane. BARRY: --Why-not?-Isn't-John-Travolta-a-pilot? VANESSA: --Yes. BARRY: How-hard-could-it-be? (Vanessa-sits-down-and-flies-for-a-little-bit-but-we-see-lightning-clouds outside-the-window) VANESSA: Wait #Barry! We're-headed-into-some-lightning. (An-ominous-lightning-storm-looms-in-front-of-the-plane) (We-are-now-watching-the-Bee-News) BOB-BUMBLE: This-is-Bob-Bumble.-We-have-some late-breaking-news-from-JFK-Airport #: where-a-suspenseful-scene is-developing. -: Barry-Benson #fresh-from-his-legal-victory... ADAM: That's-Barry! BOB-BUMBLE: ...is-attempting-to-land-a-plane #loaded-with-people #flowers -: and-an-incapacitated-flight-crew. JANET #MARTIN #UNCLE-CAR-AND-ADAM: Flowers?! (The-scene-switches-to-the-human-news) REPORTER: (Talking-with-Bob-Bumble) We-have-a-storm-in-the-area and-two-individuals-at-the-controls -: with-absolutely-no-flight-experience. BOB-BUMBLE: Just-a-minute. There's-a-bee-on-that-plane. BUD: I'm-quite-familiar-with-Mr.-Benson and-his-no-account-compadres. -: They've-done-enough-damage. REPORTER: But-isn't-he-your-only-hope? BUD: Technically #a-bee shouldn't-be-able-to-fly-at-all. -: Their-wings-are-too-small... BARRY: (Through-radio) Haven't-we-heard-this-a-million-times? -: 'The-surface-area-of-the-wings and-body-mass-make-no-sense.'... BOB-BUMBLE: --Get-this-on-the-air! BEE: --Got-it. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --Stand-by. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --We're-going-live! BARRY: (Through-radio-on-TV) ...The-way-we-work-may-be-a-mystery-to-you. -: Making-honey-takes-a-lot-of-bees doing-a-lot-of-small-jobs. -: But-let-me-tell-you-about-a-small-job. -: If-you-do-it-well #it-makes-a-big-difference. -: More-than-we-realized. To-us #to-everyone. -: That's-why-I-want-to-get-bees back-to-working-together. -: That's-the-bee-way! We're-not-made-of-Jell-O. -: We-get-behind-a-fellow. -: --Black-and-yellow! BEES: --Hello! (The-scene-switches-and-Barry-is-teaching-Vanessa-how-to-fly) BARRY: Left #right #down #hover. VANESSA: --Hover? BARRY: --Forget-hover. VANESSA: This-isn't-so-hard. (Pretending-to-honk-the-horn) Beep-beep!-Beep-beep! (A-Lightning-bolt-hits-the-plane-and-autopilot-turns-off) Barry #what-happened?! BARRY: Wait #I-think-we-were on-autopilot-the-whole-time. VANESSA: --That-may-have-been-helping-me. BARRY: --And-now-we're-not! VANESSA: So-it-turns-out-I-cannot-fly-a-plane. (The-plane-plummets-but-we-see-Lou-Lu-Duva-and-the-Pollen-Jocks #along-with multiple-other-bees-flying-towards-the-plane) Lou-Lu-DUva: All-of-you #let's-get behind-this-fellow!-Move-it-out! -: Move-out! (The-scene-switches-back-to-Vanessa-and-Barry-in-the-plane) BARRY: Our-only-chance-is-if-I-do-what-I'd-do #you-copy-me-with-the-wings-of-the-plane! (Barry-sticks-out-his-arms-like-an-airplane-and-flys-in-front-of-Vanessa's face) VANESSA: Don't-have-to-yell. BARRY: I'm-not-yelling! We're-in-a-lot-of-trouble. VANESSA: It's-very-hard-to-concentrate with-that-panicky-tone-in-your-voice! BARRY: It's-not-a-tone.-I'm-panicking! VANESSA: I-can't-do-this! (Barry-slaps-Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa #pull-yourself-together. You-have-to-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: (Slaps-Barry) You-snap-out-of-it. BARRY: (Slaps-Vanessa) -: You-snap-out-of-it. VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! (We-see-that-all-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-under-the-plane) VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --Hold-it! BARRY: --Why?-Come-on #it's-my-turn. VANESSA: How-is-the-plane-flying? (The-plane-is-now-safely-flying) VANESSA: I-don't-know. (Barry's-antennae-rings-like-a-phone.-Barry-picks-up) BARRY: Hello? LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') Benson #got-any-flowers for-a-happy-occasion-in-there? (All-of-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-carrying-the-plane) BARRY: The-Pollen-Jocks! -: They-do-get-behind-a-fellow. LOU-LU-DUVA: --Black-and-yellow. POLLEN-JOCKS: --Hello. LOU-LU-DUVA: All-right #let's-drop-this-tin-can on-the-blacktop. BARRY: Where?-I-can't-see-anything.-Can-you? VANESSA: No #nothing.-It's-all-cloudy. -: Come-on.-You-got-to-think-bee #Barry. BARRY: --Thinking-bee. --Thinking-bee. (On-the-runway-there-are-millions-of-bees-laying-on-their-backs) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: Wait-a-minute. I-think-I'm-feeling-something. VANESSA: --What? BARRY: --I-don't-know.-It's-strong #pulling-me. -: Like-a-27-million-year-old-instinct. -: Bring-the-nose-down. BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! CONTROL-TOWER-OPERATOR: --What-in-the-world-is-on-the-tarmac? BUD: --Get-some-lights-on-that! (It-is-revealed-that-all-the-bees-are-organized-into-a-giant-pulsating flower-formation) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Vanessa #aim-for-the-flower. VANESSA: --OK. BARRY: Out-the-engines.-We're-going-in on-bee-power.-Ready #boys? LOU-LU-DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good.-Good.-Easy #now.-That's-it. -: Land-on-that-flower! -: Ready?-Full-reverse! -: Spin-it-around! (The-plane's-nose-is-pointed-at-a-flower-painted-on-a-nearby-plane) --Not-that-flower!-The-other-one! VANESSA: --Which-one? BARRY: --That-flower. (The-plane-is-now-pointed-at-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt.-He-freaks-out and-tries-to-take-a-picture-of-the-plane) VANESSA: --I'm-aiming-at-the-flower! BARRY: That's-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt. I-mean-the-giant-pulsating-flower made-of-millions-of-bees! (The-plane-hovers-over-the-bee-flower) -: Pull-forward.-Nose-down.-Tail-up. -: Rotate-around-it. VANESSA: --This-is-insane #Barry! BARRY: --This's-the-only-way-I-know-how-to-fly. BUD: Am-I-koo-koo-kachoo #or-is-this-plane flying-in-an-insect-like-pattern? (The-plane-is-unrealistically-hovering-and-spinning-over-the-bee-flower) BARRY: Get-your-nose-in-there.-Don't-be-afraid. Smell-it.-Full-reverse! -: Just-drop-it.-Be-a-part-of-it. -: Aim-for-the-center! -: Now-drop-it-in!-Drop-it-in #woman! -: Come-on #already. (The-bees-scatter-and-the-plane-safely-lands) VANESSA: Barry #we-did-it! You-taught-me-how-to-fly! BARRY: --Yes! (Vanessa-is-about-to-high-five-Barry) No-high-five! VANESSA: --Right. ADAM: Barry #it-worked! Did-you-see-the-giant-flower? BARRY: What-giant-flower?-Where?-Of-course I-saw-the-flower!-That-was-genius! ADAM: --Thank-you. BARRY: --But-we're-not-done-yet. -: Listen #everyone! -: This-runway-is-covered with-the-last-pollen -: from-the-last-flowers available-anywhere-on-Earth. -: That-means-this-is-our-last-chance. -: We're-the-only-ones-who-make-honey #pollinate-flowers-and-dress-like-this. -: If-we're-gonna-survive-as-a-species #this-is-our-moment!-What-do-you-say? -: Are-we-going-to-be-bees #or-just Museum-of-Natural-History-keychains? BEES: We're-bees! BEE-WHO-LIKES-KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then-follow-me!-Except-Keychain. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Hold-on #Barry.-Here. -: You've-earned-this. BARRY: Yeah! -: I'm-a-Pollen-Jock!-And-it's-a-perfect fit.-All-I-gotta-do-are-the-sleeves. (The-Pollen-Jocks-throw-Barry-a-nectar-collecting-gun.-Barry-catches-it) Oh #yeah. JANET: That's-our-Barry. (Barry-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-get-pollen-from-the-flowers-on-the-plane) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-over-NYC) -: (Barry-pollinates-the-flowers-in-Vanessa's-shop-and-then-heads-to-Central Park) BOY-IN-PARK: Mom!-The-bees-are-back! ADAM: (Putting-on-his-Krelman-hat) If-anybody-needs to-make-a-call #now's-the-time. -: I-got-a-feeling-we'll-be working-late-tonight! (The-bee-honey-factories-are-back-up-and-running) (Meanwhile-at-Vanessa's-shop) VANESSA: (To-customer) Here's-your-change.-Have-a-great afternoon!-Can-I-help-who's-next? -: Would-you-like-some-honey-with-that? It-is-bee-approved.-Don't-forget-these. (There-is-a-room-in-the-shop-where-Barry-does-legal-work-for-other-animals. He-is-currently-talking-with-a-Cow) COW: Milk #cream #cheese #it's-all-me. And-I-don't-see-a-nickel! -: Sometimes-I-just-feel like-a-piece-of-meat! BARRY: I-had-no-idea. VANESSA: Barry #I'm-sorry. Have-you-got-a-moment? BARRY: Would-you-excuse-me? My-mosquito-associate-will-help-you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry-I'm-late. COW: He's-a-lawyer-too? MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am #I-was-already-a-blood-sucking-parasite. All-I-needed-was-a-briefcase. VANESSA: Have-a-great-afternoon! -: Barry #I-just-got-this-huge-tulip-order #and-I-can't-get-them-anywhere. BARRY: No-problem #Vannie. Just-leave-it-to-me. VANESSA: You're-a-lifesaver #Barry. Can-I-help-who's-next? BARRY: All-right #scramble #jocks! It's-time-to-fly. VANESSA: Thank-you #Barry! (Ken-walks-by-on-the-sidewalk-and-sees-the-'bee-approved-honey'-in Vanessa's-shop) KEN: That-bee-is-living-my-life!! ANDY: Let-it-go #Kenny. KEN: --When-will-this-nightmare-end?! ANDY: --Let-it-all-go. BARRY: --Beautiful-day-to-fly. POLLEN-JOCK: --Sure-is. BARRY: Between-you-and-me #I-was-dying-to-get-out-of-that-office. (Barry-recreates-the-scene-near-the-beginning-of-the-movie-where-he-flies through-the-box-kite.-The-movie-fades-to-black-and-the-credits-being) [--after-credits;-No-scene-can-be-seen-but-the-characters-can-be-heard talking-over-the-credits--] You-have-got to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend! -: --Thinking-bee! --Me? BARRY: (Talking-over-singer) Hold-it.-Let's-just-stop for-a-second.-Hold-it. -: I'm-sorry.-I'm-sorry #everyone. Can-we-stop-here? SINGER: Oh #BarryBARRY: I'm-not-making-a-major-life-decision during-a-production-number! SINGER: All-right.-Take-ten #everybody. Wrap-it-up #guys. BARRY: I-had-virtually-no-rehearsal-for-that.

   #guysbarryihadvirtuallynorehearsalforthat #everybodywrapitup #barrybarryimnotmakingamajorlifedecisionduringaproductionnumbersingerallrighttaketen #everyonecanwestopheresingeroh #myfriendthinkingbeemebarrytalkingoversingerholditletsjuststopforasecondholditimsorryimsorry #iwasdyingtogetoutofthatofficebarryrecreatesthescenenearthebeginningofthemoviewherehefliesthroughtheboxkitethemoviefadestoblackandthecreditsbeingaftercreditsnoscenecanbeseenbutthecharacterscanbeheardtalkingoverthecreditsyouhavegottostartthinkingbee
7. 

   Gabbo the wafrn dev guy @[email protected] · 2023-10-17 · 11:26 UTC

   ok here we go

   #Scripts.com Bee-Movie By-Jerry-Seinfeld NARRATOR: (Black-screen-with-text;-The-sound-of-buzzing-bees-can-be-heard) According-to-all-known-laws of-aviation #: there-is-no-way-a-bee should-be-able-to-fly. -: Its-wings-are-too-small-to-get its-fat-little-body-off-the-ground. -: The-bee #of-course #flies-anyway -: because-bees-don't-care what-humans-think-is-impossible. BARRY-BENSON: (Barry-is-picking-out-a-shirt) Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. -: Ooh #black-and-yellow! Let's-shake-it-up-a-little. JANET-BENSON: Barry!-Breakfast-is-ready! BARRY: Coming! -: Hang-on-a-second. (Barry-uses-his-antenna-like-a-phone) -: Hello? ADAM-FLAYMAN: (Through-phone) --Barry? BARRY: --Adam? ADAM: --Can-you-believe-this-is-happening? BARRY: --I-can't.-I'll-pick-you-up. (Barry-flies-down-the-stairs) -: MARTIN-BENSON: Looking-sharp. JANET: Use-the-stairs.-Your-father paid-good-money-for-those. BARRY: Sorry.-I'm-excited. MARTIN: Here's-the-graduate. We're-very-proud-of-you #son. -: A-perfect-report-card #all-B's. JANET: Very-proud. (Rubs-Barry's-hair) BARRY= Ma!-I-got-a-thing-going-here. JANET: --You-got-lint-on-your-fuzz. BARRY: --Ow!-That's-me! JANET: --Wave-to-us!-We'll-be-in-row-118 #000. --Bye! (Barry-flies-out-the-door) JANET: Barry #I-told-you #stop-flying-in-the-house! (Barry-drives-through-the-hive #and-is-waved-at-by-Adam-who-is-reading-a newspaper) BARRY== --Hey #Adam. ADAM: --Hey #Barry. (Adam-gets-in-Barry's-car) -: --Is-that-fuzz-gel? BARRY: --A-little.-Special-day #graduation. ADAM: Never-thought-I'd-make-it. (Barry-pulls-away-from-the-house-and-continues-driving) BARRY: Three-days-grade-school #three-days-high-school... ADAM: Those-were-awkward. BARRY: Three-days-college.-I'm-glad-I-took a-day-and-hitchhiked-around-the-hive. ADAM== You-did-come-back-different. (Barry-and-Adam-pass-by-Artie #who-is-jogging) ARTIE: --Hi #Barry! BARRY: --Artie #growing-a-mustache?-Looks-good. ADAM: --Hear-about-Frankie? BARRY: --Yeah. ADAM== --You-going-to-the-funeral? BARRY: --No #I'm-not-going-to-his-funeral. -: Everybody-knows #sting-someone #you-die. -: Don't-waste-it-on-a-squirrel. Such-a-hothead. ADAM: I-guess-he-could-have just-gotten-out-of-the-way. (The-car-does-a-barrel-roll-on-the-loop-shaped-bridge-and-lands-on-the highway) -: I-love-this-incorporating an-amusement-park-into-our-regular-day. BARRY: I-guess-that's-why-they-say-we-don't-need-vacations. (Barry-parallel-parks-the-car-and-together-they-fly-over-the-graduating students) Boy #quite-a-bit-of-pomp... under-the-circumstances. (Barry-and-Adam-sit-down-and-put-on-their-hats) -: --Well #Adam #today-we-are-men. ADAM: --We-are! BARRY= --Bee-men. =ADAM= --Amen! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry-and-Adam-both-have-a-happy-spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students #faculty #distinguished-bees #: please-welcome-Dean-Buzzwell. DEAN-BUZZWELL: Welcome #New-Hive-Oity graduating-class-of... -: ...9: -: That-concludes-our-ceremonies. -: And-begins-your-career at-Honex-Industries! ADAM: Will-we-pick-our-job-today? (Adam-and-Barry-get-into-a-tour-bus) BARRY= I-heard-it's-just-orientation. (Tour-buses-rise-out-of-the-ground-and-the-students-are-automatically loaded-into-the-buses) TOUR-GUIDE: Heads-up!-Here-we-go. ANNOUNCER: Keep-your-hands-and-antennas inside-the-tram-at-all-times. BARRY: --Wonder-what-it'll-be-like? ADAM: --A-little-scary. TOUR-GUIDE== Welcome-to-Honex #a-division-of-Honesco -: and-a-part-of-the-Hexagon-Group. Barry: This-is-it! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The-bus-drives-down-a-road-an-on-either-side-are-the-Bee's-massive complicated-Honey-making-machines) TOUR-GUIDE: We-know-that-you #as-a-bee #have-worked-your-whole-life -: to-get-to-the-point-where-you can-work-for-your-whole-life. -: Honey-begins-when-our-valiant-Pollen Jocks-bring-the-nectar-to-the-hive. -: Our-top-secret-formula -: is-automatically-color-corrected #scent-adjusted-and-bubble-contoured -: into-this-soothing-sweet-syrup -: with-its-distinctive golden-glow-you-know-as... EVERYONE-ON-BUS: Honey! (The-guide-has-been-collecting-honey-into-a-bottle-and-she-throws-it-into the-crowd-on-the-bus-and-it-is-caught-by-a-girl-in-the-back) ADAM: --That-girl-was-hot. BARRY: --She's-my-cousin! ADAM== --She-is? BARRY: --Yes #we're-all-cousins. ADAM: --Right.-You're-right. TOUR-GUIDE: --At-Honex #we-constantly-strive -: to-improve-every-aspect of-bee-existence. -: These-bees-are-stress-testing a-new-helmet-technology. (The-bus-passes-by-a-Bee-wearing-a-helmet-who-is-being-smashed-into-the ground-with-fly-swatters #newspapers-and-boots.-He-lifts-a-thumbs-up-but you-can-hear-him-groan) -: ADAM== --What-do-you-think-he-makes? BARRY: --Not-enough. TOUR-GUIDE: Here-we-have-our-latest-advancement #the-Krelman. (They-pass-by-a-turning-wheel-with-Bees-standing-on-pegs #who-are-each wearing-a-finger-shaped-hat) Barry: --Wow #What-does-that-do? TOUR-GUIDE: --Catches-that-little-strand-of-honey -: that-hangs-after-you-pour-it. Saves-us-millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can-anyone-work-on-the-Krelman? TOUR-GUIDE: Of-course.-Most-bee-jobs-are small-ones. But-bees-know-that-every-small-job #if-it's-done-well #means-a-lot. -: But-choose-carefully -: because-you'll-stay-in-the-job you-pick-for-the-rest-of-your-life. (Everyone-claps-except-for-Barry) BARRY: The-same-job-the-rest-of-your-life? I-didn't-know-that. ADAM: What's-the-difference? TOUR-GUIDE: You'll-be-happy-to-know-that-bees #as-a-species #haven't-had-one-day-off -: in-27-million-years. BARRY: (Upset) So-you'll-just-work-us-to-death? -: We'll-sure-try. (Everyone-on-the-bus-laughs-except-Barry.-Barry-and-Adam-are-walking-back home-together) ADAM: Wow!-That-blew-my-mind! BARRY: 'What's-the-difference?' How-can-you-say-that? -: One-job-forever? That's-an-insane-choice-to-have-to-make. ADAM: I'm-relieved.-Now-we-only-have to-make-one-decision-in-life. BARRY: But #Adam #how-could-they never-have-told-us-that? ADAM: Why-would-you-question-anything? We're-bees. -: We're-the-most-perfectly functioning-society-on-Earth. BARRY: You-ever-think-maybe-things work-a-little-too-well-here? ADAM: Like-what?-Give-me-one-example. (Barry-and-Adam-stop-walking-and-it-is-revealed-to-the-audience-that hundreds-of-cars-are-speeding-by-and-narrowly-missing-them-in-perfect unison) BARRY: I-don't-know.-But-you-know what-I'm-talking-about. ANNOUNCER: Please-clear-the-gate. Royal-Nectar-Force-on-approach. BARRY: Wait-a-second.-Check-it-out. (The-Pollen-jocks-fly-in #circle-around-and-landing-in-line) -: --Hey #those-are-Pollen-Jocks! ADAM: --Wow. -: I've-never-seen-them-this-close. BARRY: They-know-what-it's-like outside-the-hive. ADAM: Yeah #but-some-don't-come-back. GIRL-BEES: --Hey #Jocks! --Hi #Jocks! (The-Pollen-Jocks-hook-up-their-backpacks-to-machines-that-pump-the-nectar to-trucks #which-drive-away) LOU-LO-DUVA: You-guys-did-great! -: You're-monsters! You're-sky-freaks! I-love-it! (Punching-the-Pollen-Jocks-in-joy) I-love-it! ADAM: --I-wonder-where-they-were. BARRY: --I-don't-know. -: Their-day's-not-planned. -: Outside-the-hive #flying-who-knows where #doing-who-knows-what. -: You-can't-just-decide-to-be-a-Pollen Jock.-You-have-to-be-bred-for-that. ADAM== Right. (Barry-and-Adam-are-covered-in-some-pollen-that-floated-off-of-the-Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look-at-that.-That's-more-pollen than-you-and-I-will-see-in-a-lifetime. ADAM: It's-just-a-status-symbol. Bees-make-too-much-of-it. BARRY: Perhaps.-Unless-you're-wearing-it and-the-ladies-see-you-wearing-it. (Barry-waves-at-2-girls-standing-a-little-away-from-them) ADAM== Those-ladies? Aren't-they-our-cousins-too? BARRY: Distant.-Distant. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Look-at-these-two. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Couple-of-Hive-Harrys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --Let's-have-fun-with-them. GIRL-BEE-#1: It-must-be-dangerous being-a-Pollen-Jock. BARRY: Yeah.-Once-a-bear-pinned-me against-a-mushroom! -: He-had-a-paw-on-my-throat #and-with-the-other #he-was-slapping-me! (Slaps-Adam-with-his-hand-to-represent-his-scenario) GIRL-BEE-#2: --Oh #my! BARRY: --I-never-thought-I'd-knock-him-out. GIRL-BEE-#1: (Looking-at-Adam) What-were-you-doing-during-this? ADAM: Obviously-I-was-trying-to-alert-the-authorities. BARRY: I-can-autograph-that. (The-pollen-jocks-walk-up-to-Barry-and-Adam #they-pretend-that-Barry-and Adam-really-are-pollen-jocks.) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: A-little-gusty-out-there-today #wasn't-it #comrades? BARRY: Yeah.-Gusty. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-hitting-a-sunflower-patch six-miles-from-here-tomorrow. BARRY: --Six-miles #huh? ADAM: --Barry! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: A-puddle-jump-for-us #but-maybe-you're-not-up-for-it. BARRY: --Maybe-I-am. ADAM: --You-are-not! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-going-0900-at-J-Gate. -: What-do-you-think #buzzy-boy? Are-you-bee-enough? BARRY: I-might-be.-It-all-depends on-what-0900-means. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-looking-out-on-the-hive-city-from-his-balcony-at night) MARTIN: Hey #Honex! BARRY: Dad #you-surprised-me. MARTIN: You-decide-what-you're-interested-in? BARRY: --Well #there's-a-lot-of-choices. --But-you-only-get-one. -: Do-you-ever-get-bored doing-the-same-job-every-day? MARTIN: Son #let-me-tell-you-about-stirring. -: You-grab-that-stick #and-you-just move-it-around #and-you-stir-it-around. -: You-get-yourself-into-a-rhythm. It's-a-beautiful-thing. BARRY: You-know #Dad #the-more-I-think-about-it #: maybe-the-honey-field just-isn't-right-for-me. MARTIN: You-were-thinking-of-what #making-balloon-animals? -: That's-a-bad-job for-a-guy-with-a-stinger. -: Janet #your-son's-not-sure he-wants-to-go-into-honey! JANET: --Barry #you-are-so-funny-sometimes. BARRY: --I'm-not-trying-to-be-funny. MARTIN: You're-not-funny!-You're-going into-honey.-Our-son #the-stirrer! JANET: --You're-gonna-be-a-stirrer? BARRY: --No-one's-listening-to-me! MARTIN: Wait-till-you-see-the-sticks-I-have. BARRY: I-could-say-anything-right-now. I'm-gonna-get-an-ant-tattoo! (Barry's-parents-don't-listen-to-him-and-continue-to-ramble-on) MARTIN: Let's-open-some-honey-and-celebrate! BARRY: Maybe-I'll-pierce-my-thorax. Shave-my-antennae. -: Shack-up-with-a-grasshopper.-Get a-gold-tooth-and-call-everybody-'dawg'! JANET: I'm-so-proud. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-and-Adam-waiting-in-line-to-get-a-job) ADAM: --We're-starting-work-today! BARRY: --Today's-the-day. ADAM: Come-on!-All-the-good-jobs will-be-gone. BARRY: Yeah #right. JOB-LISTER: Pollen-counting #stunt-bee #pouring #stirrer #front-desk #hair-removal... BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Is-it-still-available? JOB-LISTER: --Hang-on.-Two-left! -: One-of-them's-yours!-Congratulations! Step-to-the-side. ADAM: --What'd-you-get? BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Picking-crud-out.-Stellar! (He-walks-away) ADAM: Wow! JOB-LISTER: Couple-of-newbies? ADAM: Yes #sir!-Our-first-day!-We-are-ready! JOB-LISTER: Make-your-choice. (Adam-and-Barry-look-up-at-the-job-board.-There-are-hundreds-of-constantly changing-panels-that-contain-available-or-unavailable-jobs.-It-looks-very confusing) ADAM: --You-want-to-go-first? BARRY: --No #you-go. ADAM: Oh #my.-What's-available? JOB-LISTER: Restroom-attendant's-open #not-for-the-reason-you-think. ADAM: --Any-chance-of-getting-the-Krelman? JOB-LISTER: --Sure #you're-on. (Puts-the-Krelman-finger-hat-on-Adam's-head) (Suddenly-the-sign-for-Krelman-closes-out) -: I'm-sorry #the-Krelman-just-closed-out. (Takes-Adam's-hat-off) Wax-monkey's-always-open. ADAM: The-Krelman-opened-up-again. -: What-happened? JOB-LISTER: A-bee-died.-Makes-an-opening.-See? He's-dead.-Another-dead-one. -: Deady.-Deadified.-Two-more-dead. -: Dead-from-the-neck-up. Dead-from-the-neck-down.-That's-life! ADAM: Oh #this-is-so-hard! (Barry-remembers-what-the-Pollen-Jock-offered-him-and-he-flies-off) Heating #cooling #stunt-bee #pourer #stirrer #: humming #inspector-number-seven #lint-coordinator #stripe-supervisor #: mite-wrangler.-Barry #what do-you-think-I-should...-Barry? (Adam-turns-around-and-sees-Barry-flying-away) -: Barry! POLLEN-JOCK: All-right #we've-got-the-sunflower-patch in-quadrant-nine... ADAM: (Through-phone) What-happened-to-you? Where-are-you? BARRY: --I'm-going-out. ADAM: --Out?-Out-where? BARRY: --Out-there. ADAM: --Oh #no! BARRY: I-have-to #before-I-go to-work-for-the-rest-of-my-life. ADAM: You're-gonna-die!-You're-crazy! (Barry-hangs-up) Hello? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Another-call-coming-in. -: If-anyone's-feeling-brave #there's-a-Korean-deli-on-83rd -: that-gets-their-roses-today. BARRY: Hey #guys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1-== --Look-at-that. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Isn't-that-the-kid-we-saw-yesterday? LOU-LO-DUVA: Hold-it #son #flight-deck's-restricted. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: It's-OK #Lou.-We're-gonna-take-him-up. (Puts-hand-on-Barry's-shoulder) LOU-LO-DUVA: (To-Barry)-Really?-Feeling-lucky #are-you? BEE-WITH-CLIPBOARD: (To-Barry)-Sign-here #here.-Just-initial-that. -: --Thank-you. LOU-LO-DUVA: --OK. -: You-got-a-rain-advisory-today #: and-as-you-all-know #bees-cannot-fly-in-rain. -: So-be-careful.-As-always #watch-your-brooms #: hockey-sticks #dogs #birds #bears-and-bats. -: Also #I-got-a-couple-of-reports of-root-beer-being-poured-on-us. -: Murphy's-in-a-home-because-of-it #babbling-like-a-cicada! BARRY: --That's-awful. LOU-LO-DUVA: (Still-talking-through-megaphone) --And-a-reminder-for-you-rookies #: bee-law-number-one #absolutely-no-talking-to-humans! -: All-right #launch-positions! POLLEN-JOCKS: (The-Pollen-Jocks-run-into-formation) -: Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz! LOU-LU-DUVA: Black-and-yellow! POLLEN-JOCKS: Hello! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (To-Barry)You-ready-for-this #hot-shot? BARRY: Yeah.-Yeah #bring-it-on. POLLEN-JOCK's: Wind #check. -: --Antennae #check. --Nectar-pack #check. -: --Wings #check. --Stinger #check. BARRY: Scared-out-of-my-shorts #check. LOU-LO-DUVA: OK #ladies #: let's-move-it-out! -: Pound-those-petunias #you-striped-stem-suckers! -: All-of-you #drain-those-flowers! (The-pollen-jocks-fly-out-of-the-hive) BARRY: Wow!-I'm-out! -: I-can't-believe-I'm-out! -: So-blue. -: I-feel-so-fast-and-free! -: Box-kite! (Barry-flies-through-the-kite) -: Wow! -: Flowers! (A-pollen-jock-puts-on-some-high-tech-goggles-that-shows-flowers-similar-to heat-sink-goggles.) POLLEN-JOCK: This-is-Blue-Leader. We-have-roses-visual. -: Bring-it-around-30-degrees-and-hold. -: Roses! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: 30-degrees #roger.-Bringing-it-around. -: Stand-to-the-side #kid. It's-got-a-bit-of-a-kick. (The-pollen-jock-fires-a-high-tech-gun-at-the-flower #shooting-tubes-that suck-up-the-nectar-from-the-flower-and-collects-it-into-a-pouch-on-the-gun) BARRY: That-is-one-nectar-collector! POLLEN-JOCK-#1== --Ever-see-pollination-up-close? BARRY: --No #sir. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Barry-and-the-Pollen-jock-fly-over-the-field #the-pollen-jock-sprinkles pollen-as-he-goes) -: I-pick-up-some-pollen-here #sprinkle-it over-here.-Maybe-a-dash-over-there #: a-pinch-on-that-one. See-that?-It's-a-little-bit-of-magic. BARRY: That's-amazing.-Why-do-we-do-that? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: That's-pollen-power.-More-pollen #more flowers #more-nectar #more-honey-for-us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: I'm-picking-up-a-lot-of-bright-yellow. could-be-daisies.-Don't-we-need-those? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Copy-that-visual. -: Wait.-One-of-these-flowers seems-to-be-on-the-move. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Say-again?-You're-reporting a-moving-flower? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Affirmative. (The-Pollen-jocks-land-near-the-'flowers'-which #to-the-audience-are obviously-just-tennis-balls) KEN: (In-the-distance)-That-was-on-the-line! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: This-is-the-coolest.-What-is-it? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-know #but-I'm-loving-this-color. -: It-smells-good. Not-like-a-flower #but-I-like-it. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Yeah #fuzzy. (Sticks-his-hand-on-the-ball-but-it-gets-stuck) POLLEN-JOCK-#3== Chemical-y. (The-pollen-jock-finally-gets-his-hand-free-from-the-tennis-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Careful #guys.-It's-a-little-grabby. (The-pollen-jocks-turn-around-and-see-Barry-lying-his-entire-body-on-top-of one-of-the-tennis-balls) POLLEN-JOCK-#2: My-sweet-lord-of-bees! POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Candy-brain #get-off-there! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Pointing-upwards) Problem! (A-human-hand-reaches-down-and-grabs-the-tennis-ball-that-Barry-is-stuck to) BARRY: --Guys! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --This-could-be-bad. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Affirmative. (Vanessa-Bloome-starts-bouncing-the-tennis-ball #not-knowing-Barry-is-stick to-it) BARRY== Very-close. -: Gonna-hurt. -: Mama's-little-boy. (Barry-is-being-hit-back-and-forth-by-two-humans-playing-tennis.-He-is still-stuck-to-the-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: You-are-way-out-of-position #rookie! KEN: Coming-in-at-you-like-a-MISSILE! (Barry-flies-past-the-pollen-jocks #still-stuck-to-the-ball) BARRY: (In-slow-motion) Help-me! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-think-these-are-flowers. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: --Should-we-tell-him? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --I-think-he-knows. BARRY: What-is-this?! KEN: Match-point! -: You-can-start-packing-up #honey #because-you're-about-to-EAT-IT! (A-pollen-jock-coughs-which-confused-Ken-and-he-hits-the-ball-the-wrong-way with-Barry-stuck-to-it-and-it-goes-flying-into-the-city) BARRY: Yowser! (Barry-bounces-around-town-and-gets-stuck-in-the-engine-of-a-car.-He-flies into-the-air-conditioner-and-sees-a-bug-that-was-frozen-in-there) BARRY: Ew #gross. (The-man-driving-the-car-turns-on-the-air-conditioner-which-blows-Barry into-the-car) GIRL-IN-CAR: There's-a-bee-in-the-car! -: --Do-something! DAD-DRIVING-CAR: --I'm-driving! BABY-GIRL: (Waving-at-Barry) --Hi #bee. (Barry-smiles-and-waves-at-the-baby-girl) GUY-IN-BACK-OF-CAR: --He's-back-here! -: He's-going-to-sting-me! GIRL-IN-CAR: Nobody-move.-If-you-don't-move #he-won't-sting-you.-Freeze! (Barry-freezes-as-well #hovering-in-the-middle-of-the-car) -: GRANDMA-IN-CAR== He-blinked! (The-grandma-whips-out-some-bee-spray-and-sprays-everywhere-in-the-car #climbing-into-the-front-seat #still-trying-to-spray-Barry) GIRL-IN-CAR: Spray-him #Granny! DAD-DRIVING-THE-CAR: What-are-you-doing?! (Barry-escapes-the-car-through-the-air-conditioner-and-is-flying-high-above the-ground #safe.) BARRY: Wow...-the-tension-level out-here-is-unbelievable. (Barry-sees-that-storm-clouds-are-gathering-and-he-can-see-rain-clouds moving-into-this-direction) -: I-gotta-get-home. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-rain-drop-hits-Barry-and-one-of-his-wings-is-damaged) -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-second-rain-drop-hits-Barry-again-and-he-spirals-downwards) Mayday!-Mayday!-Bee-going-down! (WW2-plane-sound-effects-are-played-as-he-plummets #and-he-crash-lands-on-a plant-inside-an-apartment-near-the-window) VANESSA-BLOOME: Ken #could-you-close the-window-please? KEN== Hey #check-out-my-new-resume. I-made-it-into-a-fold-out-brochure. -: You-see? (Folds-brochure-resume-out) Folds-out. (Ken-closes-the-window #trapping-Barry-inside) BARRY: Oh #no.-More-humans.-I-don't-need-this. (Barry-tries-to-fly-away-but-smashes-into-the-window-and-falls-again) -: What-was-that? (Barry-keeps-trying-to-fly-out-the-window-but-he-keeps-being-knocked-back because-the-window-is-closed) Maybe-this-time.-This-time.-This-time. This-time!-This-time!-This... -: Drapes! (Barry-taps-the-glass.-He-doesn't-understand-what-it-is) That-is-diabolical. KEN: It's-fantastic.-It's-got-all-my-special skills #even-my-top-ten-favorite-movies. ANDY: What's-number-one?-Star-Wars? KEN: Nah #I-don't-go-for-that... (Ken-makes-finger-guns-and-makes-'pew-pew-pew'-sounds-and-then-stops) -: ...kind-of-stuff. BARRY: No-wonder-we-shouldn't-talk-to-them. They're-out-of-their-minds. KEN: When-I-leave-a-job-interview #they're flabbergasted #can't-believe-what-I-say. BARRY: (Looking-at-the-light-on-the-ceiling) There's-the-sun.-Maybe-that's-a-way-out. (Starts-flying-towards-the-lightbulb) -: I-don't-remember-the-sun having-a-big-75-on-it. (Barry-hits-the-lightbulb-and-falls-into-the-dip-on-the-table-that-the humans-are-sitting-at) KEN: I-predicted-global-warming. -: I-could-feel-it-getting-hotter. At-first-I-thought-it-was-just-me. (Andy-dips-a-chip-into-the-bowl-and-scoops-up-some-dip-with-Barry-on-it-and is-about-to-put-it-in-his-mouth) -: Wait!-Stop!-Bee! (Andy-drops-the-chip-with-Barry-in-fear-and-backs-away.-All-the-humans freak-out) -: Stand-back.-These-are-winter-boots. (Ken-has-winter-boots-on-his-hands-and-he-is-about-to-smash-the-bee-but Vanessa-saves-him-last-second) VANESSA: Wait! -: Don't-kill-him! (Vanessa-puts-Barry-in-a-glass-to-protect-him) KEN: You-know-I'm-allergic-to-them! This-thing-could-kill-me! VANESSA: Why-does-his-life-have less-value-than-yours? KEN: Why-does-his-life-have-any-less-value than-mine?-Is-that-your-statement? VANESSA: I'm-just-saying-all-life-has-value.-You don't-know-what-he's-capable-of-feeling. (Vanessa-picks-up-Ken's-brochure-and-puts-it-under-the-glass-so-she-can carry-Barry-back-to-the-window.-Barry-looks-at-Vanessa-in-amazement) KEN: My-brochure! VANESSA: There-you-go #little-guy. (Vanessa-opens-the-window-and-lets-Barry-out-but-Barry-stays-back-and-is still-shocked-that-a-human-saved-his-life) KEN: I'm-not-scared-of-him. It's-an-allergic-thing. VANESSA: Put-that-on-your-resume-brochure. KEN: My-whole-face-could-puff-up. ANDY: Make-it-one-of-your-special-skills. KEN: Knocking-someone-out is-also-a-special-skill. (Ken-walks-to-the-door) Right.-Bye #Vanessa.-Thanks. -: --Vanessa #next-week?-Yogurt-night? VANESSA: --Sure #Ken.-You-know #whatever. -: (Vanessa-tries-to-close-door) KEN== --You-could-put-carob-chips-on-there. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door-but-Ken-opens-it-again) KEN: --Supposed-to-be-less-calories. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door) (Fast-forward-to-the-next-day #Barry-is-still-inside-the-house.-He-flies into-the-kitchen-where-Vanessa-is-doing-dishes) BARRY== (Talking-to-himself) I-gotta-say-something. -: She-saved-my-life. I-gotta-say-something. -: All-right #here-it-goes. (Turns-back) Nah. -: What-would-I-say? -: I-could-really-get-in-trouble. -: It's-a-bee-law. You're-not-supposed-to-talk-to-a-human. -: I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this. -: I've-got-to. (Barry-disguises-himself-as-a-character-on-a-food-can-as-Vanessa-walks-by again) -: Oh #I-can't-do-it.-Come-on! -: No.-Yes.-No. -: Do-it.-I-can't. -: How-should-I-start-it? (Barry-strikes-a-pose-and-wiggles-his-eyebrows) 'You-like-jazz?' No #that's-no-good. (Vanessa-is-about-to-walk-past-Barry) Here-she-comes!-Speak #you-fool! -: ...Hi! (Vanessa-gasps-and-drops-the-dishes-in-fright-and-notices-Barry-on-the counter) -: I'm-sorry. VANESSA: --You're-talking. BARRY: --Yes #I-know. VANESSA: (Pointing-at-Barry) You're-talking! BARRY: I'm-so-sorry. VANESSA: No #it's-OK.-It's-fine. I-know-I'm-dreaming. -: But-I-don't-recall-going-to-bed. BARRY: Well #I'm-sure-this is-very-disconcerting. VANESSA: This-is-a-bit-of-a-surprise-to-me. I-mean #you're-a-bee! BARRY: I-am.-And-I'm-not-supposed to-be-doing-this #(Pointing-to-the-living-room-where-Ken-tried-to-kill-him-last-night) but-they-were-all-trying-to-kill-me. -: And-if-it-wasn't-for-you... -: I-had-to-thank-you. It's-just-how-I-was-raised. (Vanessa-stabs-her-hand-with-a-fork-to-test-whether-she's-dreaming-or-not) -: That-was-a-little-weird. VANESSA: --I'm-talking-with-a-bee. BARRY: --Yeah. VANESSA: I'm-talking-to-a-bee. And-the-bee-is-talking-to-me! BARRY: I-just-want-to-say-I'm-grateful. I'll-leave-now. (Barry-turns-to-leave) VANESSA: --Wait!-How-did-you-learn-to-do-that? BARRY: (Flying-back) --What? VANESSA: The-talking...thing. BARRY: Same-way-you-did #I-guess. 'Mama #Dada #honey.'-You-pick-it-up. VANESSA: --That's-very-funny. BARRY: --Yeah. -: Bees-are-funny.-If-we-didn't-laugh #we'd-cry-with-what-we-have-to-deal-with. -: Anyway... VANESSA: Can-I... -: ...get-you-something? BARRY: --Like-what? VANESSA: I-don't-know.-I-mean... I-don't-know.-Coffee? BARRY: I-don't-want-to-put-you-out. VANESSA: It's-no-trouble.-It-takes-two-minutes. -: --It's-just-coffee. BARRY: --I-hate-to-impose. (Vanessa-starts-making-coffee) VANESSA: --Don't-be-ridiculous! BARRY: --Actually #I-would-love-a-cup. VANESSA: Hey #you-want-rum-cake? BARRY: --I-shouldn't. VANESSA: --Have-some. BARRY: --No #I-can't. VANESSA: --Come-on! BARRY: I'm-trying-to-lose-a-couple-micrograms. VANESSA: --Where? BARRY: --These-stripes-don't-help. VANESSA: You-look-great! BARRY: I-don't-know-if-you-know anything-about-fashion. -: Are-you-all-right? VANESSA: (Pouring-coffee-on-the-floor-and-missing-the-cup-completely) No. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-sitting-together-at-a-table on-top-of-the-apartment-building-drinking-coffee) -: BARRY== He's-making-the-tie-in-the-cab as-they're-flying-up-Madison. -: He-finally-gets-there. -: He-runs-up-the-steps-into-the-church. The-wedding-is-on. -: And-he-says #'Watermelon? I-thought-you-said-Guatemalan. -: Why-would-I-marry-a-watermelon?' (Barry-laughs-but-Vanessa-looks-confused) VANESSA: Is-that-a-bee-joke? BARRY: That's-the-kind-of-stuff-we-do. VANESSA: Yeah #different. -: So #what-are-you-gonna-do #Barry? (Barry-stands-on-top-of-a-sugar-cube-floating-in-his-coffee-and-paddles-it around-with-a-straw-like-it's-a-gondola) BARRY: About-work?-I-don't-know. -: I-want-to-do-my-part-for-the-hive #but-I-can't-do-it-the-way-they-want. VANESSA: I-know-how-you-feel. BARRY: --You-do? VANESSA: --Sure. -: My-parents-wanted-me-to-be-a-lawyer-or a-doctor #but-I-wanted-to-be-a-florist. BARRY: --Really? VANESSA: --My-only-interest-is-flowers. BARRY: Our-new-queen-was-just-elected with-that-same-campaign-slogan. -: Anyway #if-you-look... (Barry-points-to-a-tree-in-the-middle-of-Central-Park) -: There's-my-hive-right-there.-See-it? VANESSA: You're-in-Sheep-Meadow! BARRY: Yes!-I'm-right-off-the-Turtle-Pond! VANESSA: No-way!-I-know-that-area. I-lost-a-toe-ring-there-once. BARRY: --Why-do-girls-put-rings-on-their-toes? VANESSA: --Why-not? BARRY: --It's-like-putting-a-hat-on-your-knee. VANESSA: --Maybe-I'll-try-that. (A-custodian-installing-a-lightbulb-looks-over-at-them-but-to-his perspective-it-looks-like-Vanessa-is-talking-to-a-cup-of-coffee-on-the table) CUSTODIAN: --You-all-right #ma'am? VANESSA: --Oh #yeah.-Fine. -: Just-having-two-cups-of-coffee! BARRY: Anyway #this-has-been-great. Thanks-for-the-coffee. VANESSA== Yeah #it's-no-trouble. BARRY: Sorry-I-couldn't-finish-it.-If-I-did #I'd-be-up-the-rest-of-my-life. (Barry-points-towards-the-rum-cake) -: Can-I-take-a-piece-of-this-with-me? VANESSA: Sure!-Here #have-a-crumb. (Vanessa-hands-Barry-a-crumb-but-it-is-still-pretty-big-for-Barry) BARRY: --Thanks! VANESSA: --Yeah. BARRY: All-right.-Well #then... I-guess-I'll-see-you-around. -: Or-not. VANESSA: OK #Barry... BARRY: And-thank-you so-much-again...-for-before. VANESSA: Oh #that?-That-was-nothing. BARRY: Well #not-nothing #but...-Anyway... (Vanessa-and-Barry-hold-hands #but-Vanessa-has-to-hold-out-a-finger-because her-hands-is-to-big-and-Barry-holds-that) (The-custodian-looks-over-again-and-it-appears-Vanessa-is-laughing-at-her coffee-again.-The-lightbulb-that-he-was-screwing-in-sparks-and-he-falls-off the-ladder) (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-two-Bee-Scientists-testing-out-a-parachute in-a-Honex-wind-tunnel) BEE-SCIENTIST-#1: This-can't-possibly-work. BEE-SCIENTIST-#2: He's-all-set-to-go. We-may-as-well-try-it. -: OK #Dave #pull-the-chute. (Dave-pulls-the-chute-and-the-wind-slams-him-against-the-wall-and-he-falls on-his-face.The-camera-pans-over-and-we-see-Barry-and-Adam-walking together) ADAM: --Sounds-amazing. BARRY: --It-was-amazing! -: It-was-the-scariest #happiest-moment-of-my-life. ADAM: Humans!-I-can't-believe you-were-with-humans! -: Giant #scary-humans! What-were-they-like? BARRY: Huge-and-crazy.-They-talk-crazy. -: They-eat-crazy-giant-things. They-drive-crazy. ADAM: --Do-they-try-and-kill-you #like-on-TV? BARRY: --Some-of-them.-But-some-of-them-don't. ADAM: --How'd-you-get-back? BARRY: --Poodle. ADAM: You-did-it #and-I'm-glad.-You-saw whatever-you-wanted-to-see. -: You-had-your-'experience.'-Now-you can-pick-out-your-job-and-be-normal. BARRY: --Well... ADAM: --Well? BARRY: Well #I-met-someone. ADAM: You-did?-Was-she-Bee-ish? -: --A-wasp?!-Your-parents-will-kill-you! BARRY: --No #no #no #not-a-wasp. ADAM: --Spider? BARRY: --I'm-not-attracted-to-spiders. -: I-know #for-everyone-else #it's-the-hottest-thing #with-the-eight-legs-and-all. -: I-can't-get-by-that-face. ADAM: So-who-is-she? BARRY: She's...-human. ADAM: No #no.-That's-a-bee-law. You-wouldn't-break-a-bee-law. BARRY: --Her-name's-Vanessa. (Adam-puts-his-head-in-his-hands) ADAM: --Oh #boy. BARRY== She's-so-nice.-And-she's-a-florist! ADAM: Oh #no!-You're-dating-a-human-florist! BARRY: We're-not-dating. ADAM: You're-flying-outside-the-hive #talking to-humans-that-attack-our-homes -: with-power-washers-and-M-80s! That's-one-eighth-a-stick-of-dynamite! BARRY: She-saved-my-life! And-she-understands-me. ADAM: This-is-over! BARRY: Eat-this. (Barry-gives-Adam-a-piece-of-the-crumb-that-he-got-from-Vanessa.-Adam-eats it) ADAM: (Adam's-tone-changes) This-is-not-over!-What-was-that? BARRY: --They-call-it-a-crumb. ADAM: --It-was-so-stingin'-stripey! BARRY: And-that's-not-what-they-eat. That's-what-falls-off-what-they-eat! -: --You-know-what-a-Cinnabon-is? ADAM: --No. (Adam-opens-a-door-behind-him-and-he-pulls-Barry-in) BARRY: It's-bread-and-cinnamon-and-frosting. ADAM: Be-quiet! BARRY: They-heat-it-up... ADAM: Sit-down! (Adam-forces-Barry-to-sit-down) BARRY: (Still-rambling-about-Cinnabons) ...really-hot! (Adam-grabs-Barry-by-the-shoulders) ADAM: --Listen-to-me! -: We-are-not-them!-We're-us. There's-us-and-there's-them! BARRY== Yes #but-who-can-deny the-heart-that-is-yearning? ADAM: There's-no-yearning. Stop-yearning.-Listen-to-me! -: You-have-got-to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend.-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEE: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEES-AND-ADAM: Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-is-laying-on-a-raft-in-a-pool-full-of-honey. He-is-wearing-sunglasses) JANET: There-he-is.-He's-in-the-pool. MARTIN: You-know-what-your-problem-is #Barry? (Barry-pulls-down-his-sunglasses-and-he-looks-annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I-gotta-start-thinking-bee? JANET: How-much-longer-will-this-go-on? MARTIN: It's-been-three-days! Why-aren't-you-working? (Puts-sunglasses-back-on) BARRY: I've-got-a-lot-of-big-life-decisions to-think-about. MARTIN: What-life?-You-have-no-life! You-have-no-job.-You're-barely-a-bee! JANET: Would-it-kill-you to-make-a-little-honey? (Barry-rolls-off-the-raft-and-sinks-into-the-honey-pool) -: Barry #come-out. Your-father's-talking-to-you. -: Martin #would-you-talk-to-him? MARTIN: Barry #I'm-talking-to-you! (Barry-keeps-sinking-into-the-honey-until-he-is-suddenly-in-Central-Park having-a-picnic-with-Vanessa) (Barry-has-a-cup-of-honey-and-he-clinks-his-glass-with-Vanessas.-Suddenly-a mosquito-lands-on-Vanessa-and-she-slaps-it #killing-it.-They-both-gasp-but then-burst-out-laughing) VANESSA: You-coming? (The-camera-pans-over-and-Vanessa-is-climbing-into-a-small-yellow-airplane) BARRY: Got-everything? VANESSA: All-set! BARRY: Go-ahead.-I'll-catch-up. (Vanessa-lifts-off-and-flies-ahead) VANESSA: Don't-be-too-long. (Barry-catches-up-with-Vanessa-and-he-sticks-out-his-arms-like-ana-irplane. He-rolls-from-side-to-side #and-Vanessa-copies-him-with-the-airplane) VANESSA: Watch-this! (Barry-stays-back-and-watches-as-Vanessa-draws-a-heart-in-the-air-using pink-smoke-from-the-plane #but-on-the-last-loop-the-loop-she-suddenly crashes-into-a-mountain-and-the-plane-explodes.-The-destroyed-plane-falls into-some-rocks-and-explodes-a-second-time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As-Barry-is-yelling-his-mouth-fills-with-honey-and-he-wakes-up #discovering-that-he-was-just-day-dreaming.-He-slowly-sinks-back-into-the honey-pool) MARTIN: --We're-still-here. JANET: --I-told-you-not-to-yell-at-him. -: He-doesn't-respond-to-yelling! MARTIN: --Then-why-yell-at-me? JANET: --Because-you-don't-listen! MARTIN: I'm-not-listening-to-this. BARRY: Sorry #I've-gotta-go. MARTIN: --Where-are-you-going? BARRY: --I'm-meeting-a-friend. JANET: A-girl?-Is-this-why-you-can't-decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry-flies-out-the-door-and-Martin-shakes-his-head) -: JANET== I-just-hope-she's-Bee-ish. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-sitting-on-Vanessa's-shoulder-and-she-is closing-up-her-shop) BARRY: They-have-a-huge-parade of-flowers-every-year-in-Pasadena? VANESSA: To-be-in-the-Tournament-of-Roses #that's-every-florist's-dream! -: Up-on-a-float #surrounded by-flowers #crowds-cheering. BARRY: A-tournament.-Do-the-roses compete-in-athletic-events? VANESSA: No.-All-right #I've-got-one. How-come-you-don't-fly-everywhere? BARRY: It's-exhausting.-Why-don't-you run-everywhere?-It's-faster. VANESSA: Yeah #OK #I-see #I-see. All-right #your-turn. BARRY: TiVo.-You-can-just-freeze-live-TV? That's-insane! VANESSA: You-don't-have-that? BARRY: We-have-Hivo #but-it's-a-disease. It's-a-horrible #horrible-disease. VANESSA: Oh #my. (A-human-walks-by-and-Barry-narrowly-avoids-him) PASSERBY: Dumb-bees! VANESSA: You-must-want-to-sting-all-those-jerks. BARRY: We-try-not-to-sting. It's-usually-fatal-for-us. VANESSA: So-you-have-to-watch-your-temper (They-walk-into-a-store) BARRY: Very-carefully. You-kick-a-wall #take-a-walk #: write-an-angry-letter-and-throw-it-out. Work-through-it-like-any-emotion: -: Anger #jealousy #lust. (Suddenly-an-employee(Hector)-hits-Barry-off-of-Vanessa's-shoulder.-Hector thinks-he's-saving-Vanessa) VANESSA: (To-Barry) Oh #my-goodness!-Are-you-OK? (Barry-is-getting-up-off-the-floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To-Hector) --What-is-wrong-with-you?! HECTOR: (Confused) --It's-a-bug. VANESSA: He's-not-bothering-anybody. Get-out-of-here #you-creep! (Vanessa-hits-Hector-across-the-face-with-the-magazine-he-had-and-then-hits him-in-the-head.-Hector-backs-away-covering-his-head) Barry: What-was-that?-A-Pic-'N'-Save-circular? (Vanessa-sets-Barry-back-on-her-shoulder) VANESSA: Yeah #it-was.-How-did-you-know? BARRY: It-felt-like-about-10-pages. Seventy-five-is-pretty-much-our-limit. VANESSA: You've-really-got-that down-to-a-science. BARRY: --Oh #we-have-to.-I-lost-a-cousin-to-Italian-Vogue. VANESSA: --I'll-bet. (Barry-looks-to-his-right-and-notices-there-is-honey-for-sale-in-the-aisle) BARRY: What-in-the-name of-Mighty-Hercules-is-this? (Barry-looks-at-all-the-brands-of-honey #shocked) How-did-this-get-here? Cute-Bee #Golden-Blossom #: Ray-Liotta-Private-Select? (Barry-puts-his-hands-up-and-slowly-turns-around #a-look-of-disgust-on-his face) VANESSA: --Is-he-that-actor? BARRY: --I-never-heard-of-him. -: --Why-is-this-here? VANESSA: --For-people.-We-eat-it. BARRY: You-don't-have enough-food-of-your-own?! (Hector-looks-back-and-notices-that-Vanessa-is-talking-to-Barry) VANESSA: --Well #yes. BARRY: --How-do-you-get-it? VANESSA: --Bees-make-it. BARRY: --I-know-who-makes-it! -: And-it's-hard-to-make-it! -: There's-heating #cooling #stirring. You-need-a-whole-Krelman-thing! VANESSA: --It's-organic. BARRY: --It's-our-ganic! VANESSA: It's-just-honey #Barry. BARRY: Just-what?! -: Bees-don't-know-about-this! This-is-stealing!-A-lot-of-stealing! -: You've-taken-our-homes #schools #hospitals!-This-is-all-we-have! -: And-it's-on-sale?! I'm-getting-to-the-bottom-of-this. -: I'm-getting-to-the-bottom of-all-of-this! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-paints-his-face-with-black-strikes-like-a soldier-and-sneaks-into-the-storage-section-of-the-store) (Two-men #including-Hector #are-loading-boxes-into-some-trucks) -: SUPERMARKET-EMPLOYEE== Hey #Hector. -: --You-almost-done? HECTOR: --Almost. (Barry-takes-a-step-to-peak-around-the-corner) (Whispering) He-is-here.-I-sense-it. -: Well #I-guess-I'll-go-home-now (Hector-pretends-to-walk-away-by-walking-in-place-and-speaking-loudly) -: and-just-leave-this-nice-honey-out #with-no-one-around. BARRY: You're-busted #box-boy! HECTOR: I-knew-I-heard-something! So-you-can-talk! BARRY: I-can-talk. And-now-you'll-start-talking! -: Where-you-getting-the-sweet-stuff? Who's-your-supplier? HECTOR: I-don't-understand. I-thought-we-were-friends. -: The-last-thing-we-want to-do-is-upset-bees! (Hector-takes-a-thumbtack-out-of-the-board-behind-him-and-sword-fights Barry.-Barry-is-using-his-stinger-like-a-sword) -: You're-too-late!-It's-ours-now! BARRY: You #sir #have-crossed the-wrong-sword! HECTOR: You #sir #will-be-lunch for-my-iguana #Ignacio! (Barry-hits-the-thumbtack-out-of-Hectors-hand-and-Hector-surrenders) Barry: Where-is-the-honey-coming-from? -: Tell-me-where! HECTOR: (Pointing-to-leaving-truck) Honey-Farms!-It-comes-from-Honey-Farms! (Barry-chases-after-the-truck-but-it-is-getting-away.-He-flies-onto-a bicyclists'-backpack-and-he-catches-up-to-the-truck) CAR-DRIVER: (To-bicyclist) Crazy-person! (Barry-flies-off-and-lands-on-the-windshield-of-the-Honey-farms-truck. Barry-looks-around-and-sees-dead-bugs-splattered-everywhere) BARRY: What-horrible-thing-has-happened-here? -: These-faces #they-never-knew what-hit-them.-And-now -: they're-on-the-road-to-nowhere! (Barry-hears-a-sudden-whisper) (Barry-looks-up-and-sees-Mooseblood #a-mosquito-playing-dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just-keep-still. BARRY: What?-You're-not-dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do-I-look-dead?-They-will-wipe-anything that-moves.-Where-you-headed? BARRY: To-Honey-Farms. I-am-onto-something-huge-here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm-going-to-Alaska.-Moose-blood #crazy-stuff.-Blows-your-head-off! ANOTHER-BUG-PLAYING-DEAD: I'm-going-to-Tacoma. (Barry-looks-at-another-bug) BARRY: --And-you? MOOSEBLOOD: --He-really-is-dead. BARRY: All-right. (Another-bug-hits-the-windshield-and-the-drivers-notice.-They-activate-the windshield-wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The-windshield-wipers-are-slowly-sliding-over-the-dead-bugs-and-wiping them-off) BARRY: --What-is-that?! MOOSEBLOOD: --Oh #no! -: --A-wiper!-Triple-blade! BARRY: --Triple-blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump-on!-It's-your-only-chance #bee! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-grab-onto-the-wiper-and-they-hold-on-as-it-wipes-the windshield) Why-does-everything-have to-be-so-doggone-clean?! -: How-much-do-you-people-need-to-see?! (Bangs-on-windshield) -: Open-your-eyes! Stick-your-head-out-the-window! RADIO-IN-TRUCK: From-NPR-News-in-Washington #I'm-Carl-Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But-don't-kill-no-more-bugs! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-are-washed-off-by-the-wipr-fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: --Bee! BARRY: --Moose-blood-guy!! (Barry-starts-screaming-as-he-hangs-onto-the-antenna) (Suddenly-it-is-revealed-that-a-water-bug-is-also-hanging-on-the-antenna. There-is-a-pause-and-then-Barry-and-the-water-bug-both-start-screaming) TRUCK-DRIVER: --You-hear-something? GUY-IN-TRUCK: --Like-what? TRUCK-DRIVER: Like-tiny-screaming. GUY-IN-TRUCK: Turn-off-the-radio. (The-antenna-starts-to-lower-until-it-gets-to-low-and-sinks-into-the-truck. The-water-bug-flies-off-and-Barry-is-forced-to-let-go-and-he-is-blown-away. He-luckily-lands-inside-a-horn-on-top-of-the-truck-where-he-finds Mooseblood #who-was-blown-into-the-same-place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup #bee-boy? BARRY: Hey #Blood. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-that-Barry-is-deep-in-conversation-with Mooseblood.-They-have-been-sitting-in-this-truck-for-a-while) BARRY: ...Just-a-row-of-honey-jars #as-far-as-the-eye-could-see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I-assume-wherever-this-truck-goes is-where-they're-getting-it. -: I-mean #that-honey's-ours. MOOSEBLOOD: --Bees-hang-tight. BARRY: --We're-all-jammed-in. -: It's-a-close-community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not-us #man.-We-on-our-own. Every-mosquito-on-his-own. BARRY: --What-if-you-get-in-trouble? MOOSEBLOOD: --You-a-mosquito #you-in-trouble. -: Nobody-likes-us.-They-just-smack. See-a-mosquito #smack #smack! BARRY: At-least-you're-out-in-the-world. You-must-meet-girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito-girls-try-to-trade-up #get-with-a-moth #dragonfly. -: Mosquito-girl-don't-want-no-mosquito. (An-ambulance-passes-by-and-it-has-a-blood-donation-sign-on-it) You-got-to-be-kidding-me! -: Mooseblood's-about-to-leave the-building!-So-long #bee! (Mooseblood-leaves-and-flies-onto-the-window-of-the-ambulance-where-there are-other-mosquito's-hanging-out) -: --Hey #guys! OTHER-MOSQUITO: --Mooseblood! MOOSEBLOOD: I-knew-I'd-catch-y'all-down-here. Did-you-bring-your-crazy-straw? (The-truck-goes-out-of-view-and-Barry-notices-that-the-truck-he's-on-is pulling-into-a-camp-of-some-sort) TRUCK-DRIVER: We-throw-it-in-jars #slap-a-label-on-it #and-it's-pretty-much-pure-profit. (Barry-flies-out) BARRY: What-is-this-place? BEEKEEPER-1#: A-bee's-got-a-brain the-size-of-a-pinhead. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-are-pinheads! -: Pinhead. -: --Check-out-the-new-smoker. BEEKEEPER-#1: --Oh #sweet.-That's-the-one-you-want. -: The-Thomas-3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER-#1: Ninety-puffs-a-minute #semi-automatic. Twice-the-nicotine #all-the-tar. -: A-couple-breaths-of-this knocks-them-right-out. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money. BARRY: 'They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money'? (The-Beekeeper-sprays-hundreds-of-cheap-miniature-apartments-with-the smoker.-The-bees-are-fainting-or-passing-out) Oh #my! -: What's-going-on?-Are-you-OK? (Barry-flies-into-one-of-the-apartment-and-helps-a-Bee-couple-get-off-the ground.-They-are-coughing-and-its-hard-for-them-to-stand) BEE-IN-APARTMENT: Yeah.-It-doesn't-last-too-long. BARRY: Do-you-know-you're in-a-fake-hive-with-fake-walls? BEE-IN-APPARTMENT: Our-queen-was-moved-here. We-had-no-choice. (The-apartment-room-is-completely-empty-except-for-a-photo-on-the-wall-of the-'queen'-who-is-obviously-a-man-in-women's-clothes) BARRY: This-is-your-queen? That's-a-man-in-women's-clothes! -: That's-a-drag-queen! -: What-is-this? (Barry-flies-out-and-he-discovers-that-there-are-hundreds-of-these structures #each-housing-thousands-of-Bees) Oh #no! -: There's-hundreds-of-them! (Barry-takes-out-his-camera-and-takes-pictures-of-these-Bee-work-camps.-The beekeepers-look-very-evil-in-these-depictions) Bee-honey. -: Our-honey-is-being-brazenly-stolen on-a-massive-scale! -: This-is-worse-than-anything-bears have-done!-I-intend-to-do-something. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-showing-these-pictures-to-his-parents) JANET: Oh #Barry #stop. MARTIN: Who-told-you-humans-are-taking our-honey?-That's-a-rumor. BARRY: Do-these-look-like-rumors? (Holds-up-the-pictures) UNCLE-CARL: That's-a-conspiracy-theory. These-are-obviously-doctored-photos. JANET: How-did-you-get-mixed-up-in-this? ADAM: He's-been-talking-to-humans. JANET: --What? MARTIN: --Talking-to-humans?! ADAM: He-has-a-human-girlfriend. And-they-make-out! JANET: Make-out?-Barry! BARRY: We-do-not. ADAM: --You-wish-you-could. MARTIN: --Whose-side-are-you-on? BARRY: The-bees! UNCLE-CARL: (He-has-been-sitting-in-the-back-of-the-room-this-entire-time) I-dated-a-cricket-once-in-San-Antonio. Those-crazy-legs-kept-me-up-all-night. JANET: Barry #this-is-what-you-want to-do-with-your-life? BARRY: I-want-to-do-it-for-all-our-lives. Nobody-works-harder-than-bees! -: Dad #I-remember-you coming-home-so-overworked -: your-hands-were-still-stirring. You-couldn't-stop. JANET: I-remember-that. BARRY: What-right-do-they-have-to-our-honey? -: We-live-on-two-cups-a-year.-They-put-it in-lip-balm-for-no-reason-whatsoever! ADAM: Even-if-it's-true #what-can-one-bee-do? BARRY: Sting-them-where-it-really-hurts. MARTIN: In-the-face!-The-eye! -: --That-would-hurt. BARRY: --No. MARTIN: Up-the-nose?-That's-a-killer. BARRY: There's-only-one-place-you-can-sting the-humans #one-place-where-it-matters. (Flash-forward-a-bit-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-Bee-News) BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: Hive-at-Five #the-hive's-only full-hour-action-news-source. BEE-PROTESTOR: No-more-bee-beards! BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: With-Bob-Bumble-at-the-anchor-desk. -: Weather-with-Storm-Stinger. -: Sports-with-Buzz-Larvi. -: And-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: --Good-evening.-I'm-Bob-Bumble. JEANETTE-CHUNG: --And-I'm-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: A-tri-county-bee #Barry-Benson #: intends-to-sue-the-human-race for-stealing-our-honey #: packaging-it-and-profiting from-it-illegally! JEANETTE-CHUNG: Tomorrow-night-on-Bee-Larry-King #: we'll-have-three-former-queens-here-in our-studio #discussing-their-new-book #: Classy-Ladies #out-this-week-on-Hexagon. (The-scene-changes-to-an-interview-on-the-news-with-Bee-version-of-Larry King-and-Barry) BEE-LARRY-KING: Tonight-we're-talking-to-Barry-Benson. -: Did-you-ever-think #'I'm-a-kid from-the-hive.-I-can't-do-this'? BARRY: Bees-have-never-been-afraid to-change-the-world. -: What-about-Bee-Columbus? Bee-Gandhi?-Bejesus? BEE-LARRY-KING: Where-I'm-from #we'd-never-sue-humans. -: We-were-thinking of-stickball-or-candy-stores. BARRY: How-old-are-you? BEE-LARRY-KING: The-bee-community is-supporting-you-in-this-case #: which-will-be-the-trial of-the-bee-century. BARRY: You-know #they-have-a-Larry-King in-the-human-world-too. BEE-LARRY-KING: It's-a-common-name.-Next-week... BARRY: He-looks-like-you-and-has-a-show and-suspenders-and-colored-dots... BEE-LARRY-KING: Next-week... BARRY: Glasses #quotes-on-the-bottom-from-the guest-even-though-you-just-heard-'em. BEE-LARRY-KING: Bear-Week-next-week! They're-scary #hairy-and-here #live. (Bee-Larry-King-gets-annoyed-and-flies-away-offscreen) BARRY: Always-leans-forward #pointy-shoulders #squinty-eyes #very-Jewish. (Flash-forward-in-time.-We-see-Vanessa-enter-and-Ken-enters-behind-her. They-are-arguing) KEN: In-tennis #you-attack at-the-point-of-weakness! VANESSA: It-was-my-grandmother #Ken.-She's-81. KEN== Honey #her-backhand's-a-joke! I'm-not-gonna-take-advantage-of-that? BARRY: (To-Ken) Quiet #please. Actual-work-going-on-here. KEN: (Pointing-at-Barry) --Is-that-that-same-bee? VANESSA: --Yes #it-is! -: I'm-helping-him-sue-the-human-race. BARRY: --Hello. KEN: --Hello #bee. VANESSA: This-is-Ken. BARRY: (Recalling-the-'Winter-Boots'-incident-earlier) Yeah #I-remember-you.-Timberland #size ten-and-a-half.-Vibram-sole #I-believe. KEN: (To-Vanessa) Why-does-he-talk-again? VANESSA: Listen #you-better-go 'cause-we're-really-busy-working. KEN: But-it's-our-yogurt-night! VANESSA: (Holding-door-open-for-Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why-is-yogurt-night-so-difficult?! (Ken-leaves-and-Vanessa-walks-over-to-Barry.-His-workplace-is-a-mess) VANESSA: You-poor-thing. You-two-have-been-at-this-for-hours! BARRY: Yes #and-Adam-here has-been-a-huge-help. ADAM: --Frosting... --How-many-sugars? -==BARRY== Just-one.-I-try-not to-use-the-competition. -: So-why-are-you-helping-me? VANESSA: Bees-have-good-qualities. -: And-it-takes-my-mind-off-the-shop. -: Instead-of-flowers #people are-giving-balloon-bouquets-now. BARRY: Those-are-great #if-you're-three. VANESSA: And-artificial-flowers. BARRY: --Oh #those-just-get-me-psychotic! VANESSA: --Yeah #me-too. -: BARRY: Bent-stingers #pointless-pollination. ADAM: Bees-must-hate-those-fake-things! -: Nothing-worse than-a-daffodil-that's-had-work-done. -: Maybe-this-could-make-up for-it-a-little-bit. VANESSA: --This-lawsuit's-a-pretty-big-deal. BARRY: --I-guess. ADAM: You-sure-you-want-to-go-through-with-it? BARRY: Am-I-sure?-When-I'm-done-with the-humans #they-won't-be-able -: to-say #'Honey #I'm-home #' without-paying-a-royalty! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-human-news.-The-camera-shows a-crowd-outside-a-courthouse) NEWS-REPORTER: It's-an-incredible-scene here-in-downtown-Manhattan #: where-the-world-anxiously-waits #because-for-the-first-time-in-history #: we-will-hear-for-ourselves if-a-honeybee-can-actually-speak. (We-are-no-longer-watching-through-a-news-camera) ADAM: What-have-we-gotten-into-here #Barry? BARRY: It's-pretty-big #isn't-it? ADAM== (Looking-at-the-hundreds-of-people-around-the-courthouse) I-can't-believe-how-many-humans don't-work-during-the-day. BARRY: You-think-billion-dollar-multinational food-companies-have-good-lawyers? SECURITY-GUARD: Everybody-needs-to-stay behind-the-barricade. (A-limousine-drives-up-and-a-fat-man #Layton-Montgomery #a-honey-industry owner-gets-out-and-walks-past-Barry) ADAM: --What's-the-matter? BARRY: --I-don't-know #I-just-got-a-chill. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-everyone-is-in-the-court) MONTGOMERY: Well #if-it-isn't-the-bee-team. (To-Honey-Industry-lawyers) You-boys-work-on-this? MAN: All-rise!-The-Honorable Judge-Bumbleton-presiding. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: All-right.-Case-number-4475 #: Superior-Court-of-New-York #Barry-Bee-Benson-v.-the-Honey-Industry -: is-now-in-session. -: Mr.-Montgomery #you're-representing the-five-food-companies-collectively? MONTGOMERY: A-privilege. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson...-you're-representing all-the-bees-of-the-world? (Everyone-looks-closely #they-are-waiting-to-see-if-a-Bee-can-really-talk) (Barry-makes-several-buzzing-sounds-to-sound-like-a-Bee) BARRY: I'm-kidding.-Yes #Your-Honor #we're-ready-to-proceed. JUDGE-BUMBLBETON: Mr.-Montgomery #your-opening-statement #please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies-and-gentlemen-of-the-jury #: my-grandmother-was-a-simple-woman. -: Born-on-a-farm #she-believed it-was-man's-divine-right -: to-benefit-from-the-bounty of-nature-God-put-before-us. -: If-we-lived-in-the-topsy-turvy-world Mr.-Benson-imagines #: just-think-of-what-would-it-mean. -: I-would-have-to-negotiate with-the-silkworm -: for-the-elastic-in-my-britches! -: Talking-bee! (Montgomery-walks-over-and-looks-closely-at-Barry) -: How-do-we-know-this-isn't-some-sort-of -: holographic-motion-picture-capture Hollywood-wizardry? -: They-could-be-using-laser-beams! -: Robotics!-Ventriloquism! Cloning!-For-all-we-know #: he-could-be-on-steroids! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson? BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #there's-no-trickery-here. -: I'm-just-an-ordinary-bee. Honey's-pretty-important-to-me. -: It's-important-to-all-bees. We-invented-it! -: We-make-it.-And-we-protect-it with-our-lives. -: Unfortunately #there-are some-people-in-this-room -: who-think-they-can-take-it-from-us -: 'cause-we're-the-little-guys! I'm-hoping-that #after-this-is-all-over #: you'll-see-how #by-taking-our-honey #you-not-only-take-everything-we-have -: but-everything-we-are! JANET== (To-Martin) I-wish-he'd-dress-like-that all-the-time.-So-nice! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Call-your-first-witness. BARRY: So #Mr.-Klauss-Vanderhayden of-Honey-Farms #big-company-you-have. KLAUSS-VANDERHAYDEN: I-suppose-so. BARRY: I-see-you-also-own Honeyburton-and-Honron! KLAUSS: Yes #they-provide-beekeepers for-our-farms. BARRY: Beekeeper.-I-find-that to-be-a-very-disturbing-term. -: I-don't-imagine-you-employ any-bee-free-ers #do-you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) --No. BARRY: --I-couldn't-hear-you. KLAUSS: --No. BARRY: --No. -: Because-you-don't-free-bees. You-keep-bees.-Not-only-that #: it-seems-you-thought-a-bear-would-be an-appropriate-image-for-a-jar-of-honey. KLAUSS: They're-very-lovable-creatures. -: Yogi-Bear #Fozzie-Bear #Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You-mean-like-this? (The-bear-from-Over-The-Hedge-barges-in-through-the-back-door-and-it-is roaring-and-standing-on-its-hind-legs.-It-is-thrashing-its-claws-and-people are-screaming.-It-is-being-held-back-by-a-guard-who-has-the-bear-on-a chain) -: (Pointing-to-the-roaring-bear) Bears-kill-bees! -: How'd-you-like-his-head-crashing through-your-living-room?! -: Biting-into-your-couch! Spitting-out-your-throw-pillows! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: OK #that's-enough.-Take-him-away. (The-bear-stops-roaring-and-thrashing-and-walks-out) BARRY: So #Mr.-Sting #thank-you-for-being-here. Your-name-intrigues-me. -: --Where-have-I-heard-it-before? MR.-STING: --I-was-with-a-band-called-The-Police. BARRY: But-you've-never-been a-police-officer #have-you? STING: No #I-haven't. BARRY: No #you-haven't.-And-so-here we-have-yet-another-example -: of-bee-culture-casually stolen-by-a-human -: for-nothing-more-than a-prance-about-stage-name. STING: Oh #please. BARRY: Have-you-ever-been-stung #Mr.-Sting? -: Because-I'm-feeling a-little-stung #Sting. -: Or-should-I-say...-Mr.-Gordon-M.-Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's-not-his-real-name?!-You-idiots! BARRY: Mr.-Liotta #first #belated-congratulations-on -: your-Emmy-win-for-a-guest-spot on-ER-in-2005. RAY-LIOTTA: Thank-you.-Thank-you. BARRY: I-see-from-your-resume that-you're-devilishly-handsome -: with-a-churning-inner-turmoil that's-ready-to-blow. RAY-LIOTTA: I-enjoy-what-I-do.-Is-that-a-crime? BARRY: Not-yet-it-isn't.-But-is-this what-it's-come-to-for-you? -: Exploiting-tiny #helpless-bees so-you-don't -: have-to-rehearse your-part-and-learn-your-lines #sir? RAY-LIOTTA: Watch-it #Benson! I-could-blow-right-now! BARRY: This-isn't-a-goodfella. This-is-a-badfella! (Ray-Liotta-looses-it-and-tries-to-grab-Barry) RAY-LIOTTA: Why-doesn't-someone-just-step-on this-creep #and-we-can-all-go-home?! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: --Order-in-this-court! RAY-LIOTTA: --You're-all-thinking-it! (Judge-Bumbleton-starts-banging-her-gavel) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Order!-Order #I-say! RAY-LIOTTA: --Say-it! MAN: --Mr.-Liotta #please-sit-down! (We-see-a-montage-of-magazines-which-feature-the-court-case) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-back-home-with-Vanessa) BARRY: I-think-it-was-awfully-nice of-that-bear-to-pitch-in-like-that. VANESSA: I-think-the-jury's-on-our-side. BARRY: Are-we-doing-everything-right #you-know #legally? VANESSA: I'm-a-florist. BARRY: Right.-Well #here's-to-a-great-team. VANESSA: To-a-great-team! (Ken-walks-in-from-work.-He-sees-Barry-and-he-looks-upset-when-he-sees Barry-clinking-his-glass-with-Vanessa) KEN: Well #hello. VANESSA: --Oh #Ken! BARRY: --Hello! VANESSA: I-didn't-think-you-were-coming. -: No #I-was-just-late. I-tried-to-call #but... (Ken-holds-up-his-phone-and-flips-it-open.-The-phone-has-no-charge) ...the-battery... VANESSA: I-didn't-want-all-this-to-go-to-waste #so-I-called-Barry.-Luckily #he-was-free. KEN: Oh #that-was-lucky. (Ken-sits-down-at-the-table-across-from-Barry-and-Vanessa-leaves-the-room) VANESSA: There's-a-little-left. I-could-heat-it-up. KEN: (Not-taking-his-eyes-off-Barry) Yeah #heat-it-up #sure #whatever. BARRY: So-I-hear-you're-quite-a-tennis-player. -: I'm-not-much-for-the-game-myself. The-ball's-a-little-grabby. KEN: That's-where-I-usually-sit. Right... (Points-to-where-Barry-is-sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling-from-other-room) Ken #Barry-was-looking-at-your-resume #: and-he-agreed-with-me-that-eating-with chopsticks-isn't-really-a-special-skill. KEN: (To-Barry) You-think-I-don't-see-what-you're-doing? BARRY: I-know-how-hard-it-is-to-find the-right-job.-We-have-that-in-common. KEN: Do-we? BARRY: Bees-have-100-percent-employment #but-we-do-jobs-like-taking-the-crud-out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's-just-what I-was-thinking-about-doing. (Ken-reaches-for-a-fork-on-the-table-but-knocks-if-on-the-floor.-He-goes-to pick-it-up) VANESSA: Ken #I-let-Barry-borrow-your-razor for-his-fuzz.-I-hope-that-was-all-right. (Ken-quickly-rises-back-up-after-hearing-this-but-hits-his-head-on-the table-and-yells) BARRY: I'm-going-to-drain-the-old-stinger. KEN: Yeah #you-do-that. (Barry-flies-past-Ken-to-get-to-the-bathroom-and-Ken-freaks-out #splashing some-of-the-wine-he-was-using-to-cool-his-head-in-his-eyes.-He-yells-in anger) (Barry-looks-at-the-magazines-featuring-his-victories-in-court) BARRY: Look-at-that. (Barry-flies-into-the-bathroom) (He-puts-his-hand-on-his-head-but-this-makes-hurts-him-and-makes-him-even madder.-He-yells-again) (Barry-is-washing-his-hands-in-the-sink-but-then-Ken-walks-in) KEN: You-know #you-know-I've-just-about-had-it (Closes-bathroom-door-behind-him) with-your-little-mind-games. (Ken-is-menacingly-rolling-up-a-magazine) BARRY: (Backing-away) --What's-that? KEN: --Italian-Vogue. BARRY: Mamma-mia #that's-a-lot-of-pages. KEN: It's-a-lot-of-ads. BARRY: Remember-what-Van-said #why-is your-life-more-valuable-than-mine? KEN: That's-funny #I-just-can't-seem-to-recall-that! (Ken-smashes-everything-off-the-sink-with-the-magazine-and-Barry-narrowly escapes) (Ken-follows-Barry-around-and-tries-to-hit-him-with-the-magazine-but-he keeps-missing) (Ken-gets-a-spray-bottle) -: I-think-something-stinks-in-here! BARRY: (Enjoying-the-spray) I-love-the-smell-of-flowers. (Ken-holds-a-lighter-in-front-of-the-spray-bottle) KEN: How-do-you-like-the-smell-of-flames?! BARRY: Not-as-much. (Ken-fires-his-make-shift-flamethrower-but-misses-Barry #burning-the bathroom.-He-torches-the-whole-room-but-looses-his-footing-and-falls-into the-bathtub.-After-getting-hit-in-the-head-by-falling-objects-3-times-he picks-up-the-shower-head #revealing-a-Water-bug-hiding-under-it) WATER-BUG: Water-bug!-Not-taking-sides! (Barry-gets-up-out-of-a-pile-of-bathroom-supplies-and-he-is-wearing-a chapstick-hat) BARRY: Ken #I'm-wearing-a-Chapstick-hat! This-is-pathetic! (Ken-switches-the-shower-head-to-lethal) KEN: I've-got-issues! (Ken-sprays-Barry-with-the-shower-head-and-he-crash-lands-into-the-toilet) (Ken-menacingly-looks-down-into-the-toilet-at-Barry) Well #well #well #a-royal-flush! BARRY: --You're-bluffing. KEN: --Am-I? (flushes-toilet) (Barry-grabs-a-chapstick-from-the-toilet-seat-and-uses-it-to-surf-in-the flushing-toilet) BARRY: Surf's-up #dude! (Barry-flies-out-of-the-toilet-on-the-chapstick-and-sprays-Ken's-face-with the-toilet-water) -: EW #Poo-water! BARRY: That-bowl-is-gnarly. KEN: (Aiming-a-toilet-cleaner-at-Barry) Except-for-those-dirty-yellow-rings! (Barry-cowers-and-covers-his-head-and-Vanessa-runs-in-and-takes-the-toilet cleaner-from-Ken-just-before-he-hits-Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth!-What-are-you-doing?! KEN== (Leaning-towards-Barry) You-know #I-don't-even-like-honey! I-don't-eat-it! VANESSA: We-need-to-talk! (Vanessa-pulls-Ken-out-of-the-bathroom) -: He's-just-a-little-bee! -: And-he-happens-to-be the-nicest-bee-I've-met-in-a-long-time! KEN: Long-time?-What-are-you-talking-about?! Are-there-other-bugs-in-your-life? VANESSA: No #but-there-are-other-things-bugging me-in-life.-And-you're-one-of-them! KEN: Fine!-Talking-bees #no-yogurt-night... -: My-nerves-are-fried-from-riding on-this-emotional-roller-coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye #Ken. (Ken-huffs-and-walks-out-and-slams-the-door.-But-suddenly-he-walks-back-in and-stares-at-Barry) -: And-for-your-information #I-prefer-sugar-free #artificial sweeteners-MADE-BY-MAN! (Ken-leaves-again-and-Vanessa-leans-in-towards-Barry) VANESSA: I'm-sorry-about-all-that. (Ken-walks-back-in-again) KEN: I-know-it's-got an-aftertaste!-I-LIKE-IT! (Ken-leaves-for-the-last-time) VANESSA: I-always-felt-there-was-some-kind of-barrier-between-Ken-and-me. -: I-couldn't-overcome-it. Oh #well. -: Are-you-OK-for-the-trial? BARRY: I-believe-Mr.-Montgomery is-about-out-of-ideas. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry #Adam #and-Vanessa-are-back-in-court) MONTGOMERY-- We-would-like-to-call Mr.-Barry-Benson-Bee-to-the-stand. ADAM: Good-idea!-You-can-really-see-why-he's considered-one-of-the-best-lawyers... (Barry-stares-at-Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton #you've gotta-weave-some-magic with-this-jury #or-it's-gonna-be-all-over. MONTGOMERY: Don't-worry.-The-only-thing-I-have to-do-to-turn-this-jury-around -: is-to-remind-them of-what-they-don't-like-about-bees. (To-lawyer) --You-got-the-tweezers? LAWYER: --Are-you-allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only-to-losing #son.-Only-to-losing. -: Mr.-Benson-Bee #I'll-ask-you what-I-think-we'd-all-like-to-know. -: What-exactly-is-your-relationship (Points-to-Vanessa) -: to-that-woman? BARRY: We're-friends. MONTGOMERY: --Good-friends? BARRY: --Yes. MONTGOMERY: How-good?-Do-you-live-together? ADAM: Wait-a-minute... -: MONTGOMERY: Are-you-her-little... -: ...bedbug? (Adam's-stinger-starts-vibrating.-He-is-agitated) I've-seen-a-bee-documentary-or-two. From-what-I-understand #: doesn't-your-queen-give-birth to-all-the-bee-children? BARRY: --Yeah #but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing-at-Janet-and-Martin) --So-those-aren't-your-real-parents! JANET: --Oh #Barry... BARRY: --Yes #they-are! ADAM: Hold-me-back! (Vanessa-tries-to-hold-Adam-back.-He-wants-to-sting-Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're-an-illegitimate-bee #aren't-you #Benson? ADAM: He's-denouncing-bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't-y'all-date-your-cousins? (Montgomery-leans-over-on-the-jury-stand-and-stares-at-Adam) VANESSA: --Objection! (Vanessa-raises-her-hand-to-object-but-Adam-gets-free.-He-flies-straight-at Montgomery) =ADAM: --I'm-going-to-pincushion-this-guy! BARRY: Adam #don't!-It's-what-he-wants! (Adam-stings-Montgomery-in-the-butt-and-he-starts-thrashing-around) MONTGOMERY: Oh #I'm-hit!! -: Oh #lordy #I-am-hit! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: (Banging-gavel) Order!-Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The-venom!-The-venom is-coursing-through-my-veins! -: I-have-been-felled by-a-winged-beast-of-destruction! -: You-see?-You-can't-treat-them like-equals!-They're-striped-savages! -: Stinging's-the-only-thing they-know!-It's-their-way! BARRY: --Adam #stay-with-me. ADAM: --I-can't-feel-my-legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting-and-throwing-his-body-around-the-room) What-angel-of-mercy will-come-forward-to-suck-the-poison -: from-my-heaving-buttocks? JUDGE-BUMLBETON: I-will-have-order-in-this-court.-Order! -: Order #please! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-see-a-human-news-reporter) NEWS-REPORTER: The-case-of-the-honeybees versus-the-human-race -: took-a-pointed-turn-against-the-bees -: yesterday-when-one-of-their-legal team-stung-Layton-T.-Montgomery. (Adam-is-laying-in-a-hospital-bed-and-Barry-flies-in-to-see-him) BARRY: --Hey #buddy. ADAM: --Hey. BARRY: --Is-there-much-pain? ADAM: --Yeah. -: I... -: I-blew-the-whole-case #didn't-I? BARRY: It-doesn't-matter.-What-matters-is you're-alive.-You-could-have-died. ADAM: I'd-be-better-off-dead.-Look-at-me. (A-small-plastic-sword-is-replaced-as-Adam's-stinger) They-got-it-from-the-cafeteria downstairs #in-a-tuna-sandwich. -: Look #there's a-little-celery-still-on-it. (Flicks-off-the-celery-and-sighs) BARRY: What-was-it-like-to-sting-someone? ADAM: I-can't-explain-it.-It-was-all... -: All-adrenaline-and-then... and-then-ecstasy! BARRY: ...All-right. ADAM: You-think-it-was-all-a-trap? BARRY: Of-course.-I'm-sorry. I-flew-us-right-into-this. -: What-were-we-thinking?-Look-at-us.-We're just-a-couple-of-bugs-in-this-world. ADAM: What-will-the-humans-do-to-us if-they-win? BARRY: I-don't-know. ADAM: I-hear-they-put-the-roaches-in-motels. That-doesn't-sound-so-bad. BARRY: Adam #they-check-in #but-they-don't-check-out! ADAM: Oh #my. (Coughs) Could-you-get-a-nurse to-close-that-window? BARRY: --Why? ADAM: --The-smoke. (We-can-see-that-two-humans-are-smoking-cigarettes-outside) -: Bees-don't-smoke. BARRY: Right.-Bees-don't-smoke. -: Bees-don't-smoke! But-some-bees-are-smoking. -: That's-it!-That's-our-case! ADAM: It-is?-It's-not-over? BARRY: Get-dressed.-I've-gotta-go-somewhere. -: Get-back-to-the-court-and-stall. Stall-any-way-you-can. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Adam-is-making-a-paper-boat-in-the-courtroom) ADAM: And-assuming-you've-done-step-29-correctly #you're-ready-for-the-tub! (We-see-that-the-jury-have-each-made-their-own-paper-boats-after-being taught-how-by-Adam.-They-all-look-confused) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman. ADAM: Yes?-Yes #Your-Honor! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Where-is-the-rest-of-your-team? ADAM: (Continues-stalling) Well #Your-Honor #it's-interesting. -: Bees-are-trained-to-fly-haphazardly #: and-as-a-result #we-don't-make-very-good-time. -: I-actually-heard-a-funny-story-about... MONTGOMERY: Your-Honor #haven't-these-ridiculous-bugs -: taken-up-enough of-this-court's-valuable-time? -: How-much-longer-will-we-allow these-absurd-shenanigans-to-go-on? -: They-have-presented-no-compelling evidence-to-support-their-charges -: against-my-clients #who-run-legitimate-businesses. -: I-move-for-a-complete-dismissal of-this-entire-case! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman #I'm-afraid-I'm-going -: to-have-to-consider Mr.-Montgomery's-motion. ADAM: But-you-can't!-We-have-a-terrific-case. MONTGOMERY: Where-is-your-proof? Where-is-the-evidence? -: Show-me-the-smoking-gun! BARRY: (Barry-flies-in-through-the-door) Hold-it #Your-Honor! You-want-a-smoking-gun? -: Here-is-your-smoking-gun. (Vanessa-walks-in-holding-a-bee-smoker.-She-sets-it-down-on-the-Judge's podium) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: What-is-that? BARRY: It's-a-bee-smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks-up-smoker) What #this? This-harmless-little-contraption? -: This-couldn't-hurt-a-fly #let-alone-a-bee. (Montgomery-accidentally-fires-it-at-the-bees-in-the-crowd-and-they-faint and-cough) (Dozens-of-reporters-start-taking-pictures-of-the-suffering-bees) BARRY: Look-at-what-has-happened -: to-bees-who-have-never-been-asked #'Smoking-or-non?' -: Is-this-what-nature-intended-for-us? -: To-be-forcibly-addicted to-smoke-machines -: and-man-made-wooden-slat-work-camps? -: Living-out-our-lives-as-honey-slaves to-the-white-man? (Barry-points-to-the-honey-industry-owners.-One-of-them-is-an-African American-so-he-awkwardly-separates-himself-from-the-others) LAWYER: --What-are-we-gonna-do? --He's-playing-the-species-card. BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #please #free-these-bees! ADAM-AND-VANESSA: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! BEES-IN-CROWD: Free-the-bees! HUMAN-JURY: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: The-court-finds-in-favor-of-the-bees! BARRY: Vanessa #we-won! VANESSA: I-knew-you-could-do-it!-High-five! (Vanessa-hits-Barry-hard-because-her-hand-is-too-big) -: Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm-OK!-You-know-what-this-means? -: All-the-honey will-finally-belong-to-the-bees. -: Now-we-won't-have to-work-so-hard-all-the-time. MONTGOMERY: This-is-an-unholy-perversion of-the-balance-of-nature #Benson. -: You'll-regret-this. (Montgomery-leaves-and-Barry-goes-outside-the-courtroom.-Several-reporters start-asking-Barry-questions) REPORTER-1#: Barry #how-much-honey-is-out-there? BARRY: All-right.-One-at-a-time. REPORTER-2#: Barry #who-are-you-wearing? BARRY: My-sweater-is-Ralph-Lauren #and-I-have-no-pants. (Barry-flies-outside-with-the-paparazzi-and-Adam-and-Vanessa-stay-back) ADAM: (To-Vanessa) --What-if-Montgomery's-right? Vanessa: --What-do-you-mean? ADAM: We've-been-living-the-bee-way a-long-time #27-million-years. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-a-man) BUSINESS-MAN: Congratulations-on-your-victory. What-will-you-demand-as-a-settlement? BARRY: First #we'll-demand-a-complete-shutdown of-all-bee-work-camps. (As-Barry-is-talking-we-see-a-montage-of-men-putting-'closed'-tape-over-the work-camps-and-freeing-the-bees-in-the-crappy-apartments) Then-we-want-back-the-honey that-was-ours-to-begin-with #: every-last-drop. (Men-in-suits-are-pushing-all-the-honey-of-the-aisle-and-into-carts) We-demand-an-end-to-the-glorification of-the-bear-as-anything-more (We-see-a-statue-of-a-bear-shaped-honey-container-being-pulled-down-by bees) than-a-filthy #smelly #bad-breath-stink-machine. -: We're-all-aware of-what-they-do-in-the-woods. (We-see-Winnie-the-Pooh-sharing-his-honey-with-Piglet-in-the-cross-hairs-of a-high-tech-sniper-rifle) BARRY: (Looking-through-binoculars) Wait-for-my-signal. -: Take-him-out. (Winnie-gets-hit-by-a-tranquilizer-dart-and-dramatically-falls-off-the-log he-was-standing-on #his-tongue-hanging-out.-Piglet-looks-at-Pooh-in-fear and-the-Sniper-takes-the-honey.) SNIPER: He'll-have-nausea for-a-few-hours #then-he'll-be-fine. (Flash-forward-in-time) BARRY: And-we-will-no-longer-tolerate bee-negative-nicknames... (Mr.-Sting-is-sitting-at-home-until-he-is-taken-out-of-his-house-by-the-men in-suits) STING: But-it's-just-a-prance-about-stage-name! BARRY: ...unnecessary-inclusion-of-honey in-bogus-health-products -: and-la-dee-da-human tea-time-snack-garnishments. (An-old-lady-is-mixing-honey-into-her-tea-but-suddenly-men-in-suits-smash her-face-down-on-the-table-and-take-the-honey) OLD-LADY: Can't-breathe. (A-honey-truck-pulls-up-to-Barry's-hive) WORKER: Bring-it-in #boys! -: Hold-it-right-there!-Good. -: Tap-it. (Tons-of-honey-is-being-pumped-into-the-hive's-storage) BEE-WORKER-1#: (Honey-overflows-from-the-cup) Mr.-Buzzwell #we-just-passed-three-cups #and-there's-gallons-more-coming! -: --I-think-we-need-to-shut-down! =BEE-WORKER-#2= --Shut-down?-We've-never-shut-down. -: Shut-down-honey-production! DEAN-BUZZWELL: Stop-making-honey! (The-bees-all-leave-their-stations.-Two-bees-run-into-a-room-and-they-put the-keys-into-a-machine) Turn-your-key #sir! (Two-worker-bees-dramatically-turn-their-keys #which-opens-the-button-which they-press #shutting-down-the-honey-making-machines.-This-is-the-first-time this-has-ever-happened) BEE: ...What-do-we-do-now? (Flash-forward-in-time-and-a-Bee-is-about-to-jump-into-a-pool-full-of honey) Cannonball! (The-bee-gets-stuck-in-the-honey-and-we-get-a-short-montage-of-Bees-leaving work) (We-see-the-Pollen-Jocks-flying-but-one-of-them-gets-a-call-on-his-antenna) LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') We're-shutting-honey-production! -: Mission-abort. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Aborting-pollination-and-nectar-detail. Returning-to-base. (The-Pollen-Jocks-fly-back-to-the-hive) (We-get-a-time-lapse-of-Central-Park-slowly-wilting-away-as-the-bees-all relax) BARRY: Adam #you-wouldn't-believe how-much-honey-was-out-there. ADAM: Oh #yeah? BARRY: What's-going-on?-Where-is-everybody? (The-entire-street-is-deserted) -: --Are-they-out-celebrating? ADAM: --They're-home. -: They-don't-know-what-to-do. Laying-out #sleeping-in. -: I-heard-your-Uncle-Carl-was-on-his-way to-San-Antonio-with-a-cricket. BARRY: At-least-we-got-our-honey-back. ADAM: Sometimes-I-think #so-what-if-humans liked-our-honey?-Who-wouldn't? -: It's-the-greatest-thing-in-the-world! I-was-excited-to-be-part-of-making-it. -: This-was-my-new-desk.-This-was-my new-job.-I-wanted-to-do-it-really-well. -: And-now... -: Now-I-can't. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-Vanessa) BARRY: I-don't-understand why-they're-not-happy. -: I-thought-their-lives-would-be-better! -: They're-doing-nothing.-It's-amazing. Honey-really-changes-people. VANESSA: You-don't-have-any-idea what's-going-on #do-you? BARRY: --What-did-you-want-to-show-me? (Vanessa-takes-Barry-to-the-rooftop-where-they-first-had-coffee-and-points to-her-store) VANESSA: --This. (Points-at-her-flowers.-They-are-all-grey-and-wilting) BARRY: What-happened-here? VANESSA: That-is-not-the-half-of-it. (Small-flash-forward-in-time-and-Vanessa-and-Barry-are-on-the-roof-of-her store-and-she-points-to-Central-Park) (We-see-that-Central-Park-is-no-longer-green-and-colorful #rather-it-is grey #brown #and-dead-like.-It-is-very-depressing-to-look-at) BARRY: Oh #no.-Oh #my. -: They're-all-wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't-look-very-good #does-it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And-whose-fault-do-you-think-that-is? BARRY: You-know #I'm-gonna-guess-bees. VANESSA== (Staring-at-Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically #me. -: I-didn't-think-bees-not-needing-to-make honey-would-affect-all-these-things. VANESSA: It's-not-just-flowers. Fruits #vegetables #they-all-need-bees. BARRY: That's-our-whole-SAT-test-right-there. VANESSA: Take-away-produce #that-affects the-entire-animal-kingdom. -: And-then #of-course... BARRY: The-human-species? -: So-if-there's-no-more-pollination #: it-could-all-just-go-south-here #couldn't-it? VANESSA: I-know-this-is-also-partly-my-fault. BARRY: How-about-a-suicide-pact? VANESSA: How-do-we-do-it? BARRY: --I'll-sting-you #you-step-on-me. VANESSA: --That-just-kills-you-twice. BARRY: Right #right. VANESSA: Listen #Barry... sorry #but-I-gotta-get-going. (Vanessa-leaves) BARRY: (To-himself) I-had-to-open-my-mouth-and-talk. -: Vanessa? -: Vanessa?-Why-are-you-leaving? Where-are-you-going? (Vanessa-is-getting-into-a-taxi) VANESSA: To-the-final-Tournament-of-Roses-parade in-Pasadena. -: They've-moved-it-to-this-weekend because-all-the-flowers-are-dying. -: It's-the-last-chance I'll-ever-have-to-see-it. BARRY: Vanessa #I-just-wanna-say-I'm-sorry. I-never-meant-it-to-turn-out-like-this. VANESSA: I-know.-Me-neither. (The-taxi-starts-to-drive-away) BARRY: Tournament-of-Roses. Roses-can't-do-sports. -: Wait-a-minute.-Roses.-Roses? -: Roses! -: Vanessa! (Barry-flies-after-the-Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! -: Barry? (Barry-is-flying-outside-the-window-of-the-taxi) BARRY: --Roses-are-flowers! VANESSA: --Yes #they-are. BARRY: Flowers #bees #pollen! VANESSA: I-know. That's-why-this-is-the-last-parade. BARRY: Maybe-not. Could-you-ask-him-to-slow-down? VANESSA: Could-you-slow-down? (The-taxi-driver-screeches-to-a-stop-and-Barry-keeps-flying-forward) -: Barry! (Barry-flies-back-to-the-window) BARRY: OK #I-made-a-huge-mistake. This-is-a-total-disaster #all-my-fault. VANESSA: Yes #it-kind-of-is. BARRY: I've-ruined-the-planet. I-wanted-to-help-you -: with-the-flower-shop. I've-made-it-worse. VANESSA: Actually #it's-completely-closed-down. BARRY: I-thought-maybe-you-were-remodeling. -: But-I-have-another-idea #and-it's greater-than-my-previous-ideas-combined. VANESSA: I-don't-want-to-hear-it! BARRY: All-right #they-have-the-roses #the-roses-have-the-pollen. -: I-know-every-bee #plant and-flower-bud-in-this-park. -: All-we-gotta-do-is-get-what-they've-got back-here-with-what-we've-got. -: --Bees. VANESSA: --Park. BARRY: --Pollen! VANESSA: --Flowers. BARRY: --Re-pollination! VANESSA: --Across-the-nation! -: Tournament-of-Roses #Pasadena #California. -: They've-got-nothing but-flowers #floats-and-cotton-candy. -: Security-will-be-tight. BARRY: I-have-an-idea. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Vanessa-is-about-to-board-a-plane-which-has-all-the Roses-on-board. VANESSA: Vanessa-Bloome #FTD. (Holds-out-badge) -: Official-floral-business.-It's-real. SECURITY-GUARD: Sorry #ma'am.-Nice-brooch. =VANESSA== Thank-you.-It-was-a-gift. (Barry-is-revealed-to-be-hiding-inside-the-brooch) (Flash-back-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-discussing-their-plan) BARRY: Once-inside #we-just-pick-the-right-float. VANESSA: How-about-The-Princess-and-the-Pea? -: I-could-be-the-princess #and-you-could-be-the-pea! BARRY: Yes #I-got-it. -: --Where-should-I-sit? GUARD: --What-are-you? BARRY: --I-believe-I'm-the-pea. GUARD: --The-pea? VANESSA: It-goes-under-the-mattresses. GUARD: --Not-in-this-fairy-tale #sweetheart. --I'm-getting-the-marshal. VANESSA: You-do-that! This-whole-parade-is-a-fiasco! -: Let's-see-what-this-baby'll-do. (Vanessa-drives-the-float-through-traffic) GUARD: Hey #what-are-you-doing?! BARRY== Then-all-we-do is-blend-in-with-traffic... -: ...without-arousing-suspicion. -: Once-at-the-airport #there's-no-stopping-us. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-about-to-get-on-a-plane) SECURITY-GUARD: Stop!-Security. -: --You-and-your-insect-pack-your-float? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Has-it-been in-your-possession-the-entire-time? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Would-you-remove-your-shoes? (To-Barry) --Remove-your-stinger. BARRY: --It's-part-of-me. SECURITY-GUARD: I-know.-Just-having-some-fun. Enjoy-your-flight. (Barry-plotting-with-Vanessa) BARRY: Then-if-we're-lucky #we'll-have just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-flying-on-the-plane) Can-you-believe-how-lucky-we-are?-We have-just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job! VANESSA: I-think-this-is-gonna-work. BARRY: It's-got-to-work. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: (On-intercom) Attention #passengers #this-is-Captain-Scott. -: We-have-a-bit-of-bad-weather in-New-York. -: It-looks-like-we'll-experience a-couple-hours-delay. VANESSA: Barry #these-are-cut-flowers with-no-water.-They'll-never-make-it. BARRY: I-gotta-get-up-there and-talk-to-them. VANESSA== Be-careful. (Barry-flies-right-outside-the-cockpit-door) BARRY: Can-I-get-help with-the-Sky-Mall-magazine? I'd-like-to-order-the-talking inflatable-nose-and-ear-hair-trimmer. (The-flight-attendant-opens-the-door-and-walks-out-and-Barry-flies-into-the cockpit-unseen) BARRY: Captain #I'm-in-a-real-situation. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: --What'd-you-say #Hal? CO-PILOT-HAL: --Nothing. (Scott-notices-Barry-and-freaks-out) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No #no #no #Don't-freak-out!-My-entire-species... (Captain-Scott-gets-out-of-his-seat-and-tries-to-suck-Barry-into-a-handheld vacuum) HAL: (To-Scott) What-are-you-doing? (Barry-lands-on-Hals-hair-but-Scott-sees-him.-He-tries-to-suck-up-Barry-but instead-he-sucks-up-Hals-toupee) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: --Wait-a-minute!-I'm-an-attorney! HAL: (Hal-doesn't-know-Barry-is-on-his-head) --Who's-an-attorney? CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Don't-move. (Scott-hits-Hal-in-the-face-with-the-vacuum-in-an-attempt-to-hit-Barry.-Hal is-knocked-out-and-he-falls-on-the-life-raft-button-which-launches-an infalatable-boat-into-Scott #who-gets-knocked-out-and-falls-to-the-floor. They-are-both-uncounscious.) BARRY: (To-himself) Oh #Barry. BARRY: (On-intercom #with-a-Southern-accent) Good-afternoon #passengers. This-is-your-captain. -: Would-a-Miss-Vanessa-Bloome-in-24B please-report-to-the-cockpit? (Vanessa-looks-confused) (Normal-accent) ...And-please-hurry! (Vanessa-opens-the-door-and-sees-the-life-raft-and-the-uncounscious-pilots) VANESSA: What-happened-here? BARRY: I-tried-to-talk-to-them #but then-there-was-a-DustBuster #a-toupee #a-life-raft-exploded. -: Now-one's-bald #one's-in-a-boat #and-they're-both-unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is-that-another-bee-joke? BARRY: --No! -: No-one's-flying-the-plane! BUD-DITCHWATER: (Through-radio-on-plane) This-is-JFK-control-tower #Flight-356. What's-your-status? VANESSA: This-is-Vanessa-Bloome. I'm-a-florist-from-New-York. BUD: Where's-the-pilot? VANESSA: He's-unconscious #and-so-is-the-copilot. BUD: Not-good.-Does-anyone-onboard have-flight-experience? BARRY: As-a-matter-of-fact #there-is. BUD: --Who's-that? BARRY: --Barry-Benson. BUD: From-the-honey-trial?!-Oh #great. BARRY: Vanessa #this-is-nothing-more than-a-big-metal-bee. -: It's-got-giant-wings #huge-engines. VANESSA: I-can't-fly-a-plane. BARRY: --Why-not?-Isn't-John-Travolta-a-pilot? VANESSA: --Yes. BARRY: How-hard-could-it-be? (Vanessa-sits-down-and-flies-for-a-little-bit-but-we-see-lightning-clouds outside-the-window) VANESSA: Wait #Barry! We're-headed-into-some-lightning. (An-ominous-lightning-storm-looms-in-front-of-the-plane) (We-are-now-watching-the-Bee-News) BOB-BUMBLE: This-is-Bob-Bumble.-We-have-some late-breaking-news-from-JFK-Airport #: where-a-suspenseful-scene is-developing. -: Barry-Benson #fresh-from-his-legal-victory... ADAM: That's-Barry! BOB-BUMBLE: ...is-attempting-to-land-a-plane #loaded-with-people #flowers -: and-an-incapacitated-flight-crew. JANET #MARTIN #UNCLE-CAR-AND-ADAM: Flowers?! (The-scene-switches-to-the-human-news) REPORTER: (Talking-with-Bob-Bumble) We-have-a-storm-in-the-area and-two-individuals-at-the-controls -: with-absolutely-no-flight-experience. BOB-BUMBLE: Just-a-minute. There's-a-bee-on-that-plane. BUD: I'm-quite-familiar-with-Mr.-Benson and-his-no-account-compadres. -: They've-done-enough-damage. REPORTER: But-isn't-he-your-only-hope? BUD: Technically #a-bee shouldn't-be-able-to-fly-at-all. -: Their-wings-are-too-small... BARRY: (Through-radio) Haven't-we-heard-this-a-million-times? -: 'The-surface-area-of-the-wings and-body-mass-make-no-sense.'... BOB-BUMBLE: --Get-this-on-the-air! BEE: --Got-it. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --Stand-by. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --We're-going-live! BARRY: (Through-radio-on-TV) ...The-way-we-work-may-be-a-mystery-to-you. -: Making-honey-takes-a-lot-of-bees doing-a-lot-of-small-jobs. -: But-let-me-tell-you-about-a-small-job. -: If-you-do-it-well #it-makes-a-big-difference. -: More-than-we-realized. To-us #to-everyone. -: That's-why-I-want-to-get-bees back-to-working-together. -: That's-the-bee-way! We're-not-made-of-Jell-O. -: We-get-behind-a-fellow. -: --Black-and-yellow! BEES: --Hello! (The-scene-switches-and-Barry-is-teaching-Vanessa-how-to-fly) BARRY: Left #right #down #hover. VANESSA: --Hover? BARRY: --Forget-hover. VANESSA: This-isn't-so-hard. (Pretending-to-honk-the-horn) Beep-beep!-Beep-beep! (A-Lightning-bolt-hits-the-plane-and-autopilot-turns-off) Barry #what-happened?! BARRY: Wait #I-think-we-were on-autopilot-the-whole-time. VANESSA: --That-may-have-been-helping-me. BARRY: --And-now-we're-not! VANESSA: So-it-turns-out-I-cannot-fly-a-plane. (The-plane-plummets-but-we-see-Lou-Lu-Duva-and-the-Pollen-Jocks #along-with multiple-other-bees-flying-towards-the-plane) Lou-Lu-DUva: All-of-you #let's-get behind-this-fellow!-Move-it-out! -: Move-out! (The-scene-switches-back-to-Vanessa-and-Barry-in-the-plane) BARRY: Our-only-chance-is-if-I-do-what-I'd-do #you-copy-me-with-the-wings-of-the-plane! (Barry-sticks-out-his-arms-like-an-airplane-and-flys-in-front-of-Vanessa's face) VANESSA: Don't-have-to-yell. BARRY: I'm-not-yelling! We're-in-a-lot-of-trouble. VANESSA: It's-very-hard-to-concentrate with-that-panicky-tone-in-your-voice! BARRY: It's-not-a-tone.-I'm-panicking! VANESSA: I-can't-do-this! (Barry-slaps-Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa #pull-yourself-together. You-have-to-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: (Slaps-Barry) You-snap-out-of-it. BARRY: (Slaps-Vanessa) -: You-snap-out-of-it. VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! (We-see-that-all-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-under-the-plane) VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --Hold-it! BARRY: --Why?-Come-on #it's-my-turn. VANESSA: How-is-the-plane-flying? (The-plane-is-now-safely-flying) VANESSA: I-don't-know. (Barry's-antennae-rings-like-a-phone.-Barry-picks-up) BARRY: Hello? LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') Benson #got-any-flowers for-a-happy-occasion-in-there? (All-of-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-carrying-the-plane) BARRY: The-Pollen-Jocks! -: They-do-get-behind-a-fellow. LOU-LU-DUVA: --Black-and-yellow. POLLEN-JOCKS: --Hello. LOU-LU-DUVA: All-right #let's-drop-this-tin-can on-the-blacktop. BARRY: Where?-I-can't-see-anything.-Can-you? VANESSA: No #nothing.-It's-all-cloudy. -: Come-on.-You-got-to-think-bee #Barry. BARRY: --Thinking-bee. --Thinking-bee. (On-the-runway-there-are-millions-of-bees-laying-on-their-backs) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: Wait-a-minute. I-think-I'm-feeling-something. VANESSA: --What? BARRY: --I-don't-know.-It's-strong #pulling-me. -: Like-a-27-million-year-old-instinct. -: Bring-the-nose-down. BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! CONTROL-TOWER-OPERATOR: --What-in-the-world-is-on-the-tarmac? BUD: --Get-some-lights-on-that! (It-is-revealed-that-all-the-bees-are-organized-into-a-giant-pulsating flower-formation) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Vanessa #aim-for-the-flower. VANESSA: --OK. BARRY: Out-the-engines.-We're-going-in on-bee-power.-Ready #boys? LOU-LU-DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good.-Good.-Easy #now.-That's-it. -: Land-on-that-flower! -: Ready?-Full-reverse! -: Spin-it-around! (The-plane's-nose-is-pointed-at-a-flower-painted-on-a-nearby-plane) --Not-that-flower!-The-other-one! VANESSA: --Which-one? BARRY: --That-flower. (The-plane-is-now-pointed-at-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt.-He-freaks-out and-tries-to-take-a-picture-of-the-plane) VANESSA: --I'm-aiming-at-the-flower! BARRY: That's-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt. I-mean-the-giant-pulsating-flower made-of-millions-of-bees! (The-plane-hovers-over-the-bee-flower) -: Pull-forward.-Nose-down.-Tail-up. -: Rotate-around-it. VANESSA: --This-is-insane #Barry! BARRY: --This's-the-only-way-I-know-how-to-fly. BUD: Am-I-koo-koo-kachoo #or-is-this-plane flying-in-an-insect-like-pattern? (The-plane-is-unrealistically-hovering-and-spinning-over-the-bee-flower) BARRY: Get-your-nose-in-there.-Don't-be-afraid. Smell-it.-Full-reverse! -: Just-drop-it.-Be-a-part-of-it. -: Aim-for-the-center! -: Now-drop-it-in!-Drop-it-in #woman! -: Come-on #already. (The-bees-scatter-and-the-plane-safely-lands) VANESSA: Barry #we-did-it! You-taught-me-how-to-fly! BARRY: --Yes! (Vanessa-is-about-to-high-five-Barry) No-high-five! VANESSA: --Right. ADAM: Barry #it-worked! Did-you-see-the-giant-flower? BARRY: What-giant-flower?-Where?-Of-course I-saw-the-flower!-That-was-genius! ADAM: --Thank-you. BARRY: --But-we're-not-done-yet. -: Listen #everyone! -: This-runway-is-covered with-the-last-pollen -: from-the-last-flowers available-anywhere-on-Earth. -: That-means-this-is-our-last-chance. -: We're-the-only-ones-who-make-honey #pollinate-flowers-and-dress-like-this. -: If-we're-gonna-survive-as-a-species #this-is-our-moment!-What-do-you-say? -: Are-we-going-to-be-bees #or-just Museum-of-Natural-History-keychains? BEES: We're-bees! BEE-WHO-LIKES-KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then-follow-me!-Except-Keychain. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Hold-on #Barry.-Here. -: You've-earned-this. BARRY: Yeah! -: I'm-a-Pollen-Jock!-And-it's-a-perfect fit.-All-I-gotta-do-are-the-sleeves. (The-Pollen-Jocks-throw-Barry-a-nectar-collecting-gun.-Barry-catches-it) Oh #yeah. JANET: That's-our-Barry. (Barry-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-get-pollen-from-the-flowers-on-the-plane) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-over-NYC) -: (Barry-pollinates-the-flowers-in-Vanessa's-shop-and-then-heads-to-Central Park) BOY-IN-PARK: Mom!-The-bees-are-back! ADAM: (Putting-on-his-Krelman-hat) If-anybody-needs to-make-a-call #now's-the-time. -: I-got-a-feeling-we'll-be working-late-tonight! (The-bee-honey-factories-are-back-up-and-running) (Meanwhile-at-Vanessa's-shop) VANESSA: (To-customer) Here's-your-change.-Have-a-great afternoon!-Can-I-help-who's-next? -: Would-you-like-some-honey-with-that? It-is-bee-approved.-Don't-forget-these. (There-is-a-room-in-the-shop-where-Barry-does-legal-work-for-other-animals. He-is-currently-talking-with-a-Cow) COW: Milk #cream #cheese #it's-all-me. And-I-don't-see-a-nickel! -: Sometimes-I-just-feel like-a-piece-of-meat! BARRY: I-had-no-idea. VANESSA: Barry #I'm-sorry. Have-you-got-a-moment? BARRY: Would-you-excuse-me? My-mosquito-associate-will-help-you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry-I'm-late. COW: He's-a-lawyer-too? MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am #I-was-already-a-blood-sucking-parasite. All-I-needed-was-a-briefcase. VANESSA: Have-a-great-afternoon! -: Barry #I-just-got-this-huge-tulip-order #and-I-can't-get-them-anywhere. BARRY: No-problem #Vannie. Just-leave-it-to-me. VANESSA: You're-a-lifesaver #Barry. Can-I-help-who's-next? BARRY: All-right #scramble #jocks! It's-time-to-fly. VANESSA: Thank-you #Barry! (Ken-walks-by-on-the-sidewalk-and-sees-the-'bee-approved-honey'-in Vanessa's-shop) KEN: That-bee-is-living-my-life!! ANDY: Let-it-go #Kenny. KEN: --When-will-this-nightmare-end?! ANDY: --Let-it-all-go. BARRY: --Beautiful-day-to-fly. POLLEN-JOCK: --Sure-is. BARRY: Between-you-and-me #I-was-dying-to-get-out-of-that-office. (Barry-recreates-the-scene-near-the-beginning-of-the-movie-where-he-flies through-the-box-kite.-The-movie-fades-to-black-and-the-credits-being) [--after-credits;-No-scene-can-be-seen-but-the-characters-can-be-heard talking-over-the-credits--] You-have-got to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend! -: --Thinking-bee! --Me? BARRY: (Talking-over-singer) Hold-it.-Let's-just-stop for-a-second.-Hold-it. -: I'm-sorry.-I'm-sorry #everyone. Can-we-stop-here? SINGER: Oh #BarryBARRY: I'm-not-making-a-major-life-decision during-a-production-number! SINGER: All-right.-Take-ten #everybody. Wrap-it-up #guys. BARRY: I-had-virtually-no-rehearsal-for-that.

   #scriptscombeemoviebyjerryseinfeldnarratorblackscreenwithtextthesoundofbuzzingbeescanbeheardaccordingtoallknownlawsofaviation #thereisnowayabeeshouldbeabletoflyitswingsaretoosmalltogetitsfatlittlebodyoffthegroundthebee #ofcourse #fliesanywaybecausebeesdontcarewhathumansthinkisimpossiblebarrybensonbarryispickingoutashirtyellow #blackyellow #blackooh
8. 

   Ellis C. A. Arcwolf (Author) @[email protected] · 2026-03-07 · 22:40 UTC

   CW: CW: Success Story (Sanctuary Found!), Mutual Aid Request, Relocation Exhaustion, Final Financial Ask ($873)

   Update: Sorry I haven't posted in a bit. Housing stressors. 😭 But....

   🚨 THE SANCTUARY IS FOUND – ONLY $873 TO GO! 🚨

   I have officially found a 1-bedroom apartment right on the bus route to my new job! It's tiny but it's quiet, and I can work and rest in peace here, which is an absolute blessing.

   Over the last 4 months, I have been forced to move at least 8 different times. The constant displacement has been horrible for my ability to function. I can't do it again. I need to secure this space so Riko and I can finally stop running and just rest.

   The beautiful truth is that my new salary easily covers the $1,100 rent and the monthly internet cost (all other bills are paid). I am entirely capable of sustaining this!

   We are currently 66% of the way to my original GoFundMe goal. I desperately need to raise the final $873 to cover the upfront rent and initial setup fees so I can lock this in and never have to move again.

   We have the job. We have the apartment. Please help us cross this final finish line! 💜

   GFM: https://gofund.me/85c9fb79e
   Venmo: https://venmo.com/ellisarcwolf
   CashApp: https://cash.app/$CeruleanArc
   Chime: $EllisArcwolf

   #MutualAid #MutualAidRequest #Pittsburgh #HousingCrisis #LPC #Therapist #SuccessStory #EmergencyFund #SiberianHusky #DisabilityJustice #CommunityCare #MentalHealthMatters

   #mutualaid #mutualaidrequest #pittsburgh #housingcrisis #lpc #therapist
9. 

   Sentence first @[email protected] · 2012-10-23 · 12:02 UTC

   Would of, could of, might of, must of

   When we say would have, could have, should have, must have, might have, may have and ought to have, we often put some stress on the modal auxiliary and none on the have. We may show this in writing by abbreviating to could’ve, must’ve, etc. (Would can contract further by merging with the subject: We would have → We’d’ve.)

   Unstressed ’ve is phonetically identical (/əv/) to unstressed of: hence the widespread misspellings would of, could of, should of, must of, might of, may of, and ought to of. Negative forms also appear: shouldn’t of, mightn’t of, etc. This explanation – that misanalysis of the notorious schwa lies behind the error – has general support among linguists.

   The mistake dates to at least 1837, according to the OED, so it has probably been infuriating pedants for almost 200 years. Common words spelt incorrectly provoke particular ire, sometimes accompanied by aspersions cast on the writer’s intelligence, fitness for society, degree of evolution, and so on. But there’s no need for any of that.

   Usage authorities unanimously call it a mistake, though some allow for its deliberate use (more on that below). Many associate it specifically with children and other less educated writers. For example, Garner’s Dictionary of Modern American Usage finds it a practice of ‘semiliterate writers’, and accepts no excuses: ‘the word is have, or a contraction ending in ’ve, and it should be written so.’

   Merriam-Webster’s Pocket Guide to English Usage says ‘children and those who have not completed grammar school may have an excuse for making this mistake, but most others do not.’ What’s meant by that most is what we’ll now consider: that the misspellings don’t always indicate carelessness or relative illiteracy.

   The Columbia Guide to Standard American English finds room for the anomalous forms as a stylistic device:

   substituting of for ’ve in writing can be an example of eye dialect, which deliberately misspells words to suggest Nonstandard or dialectal speech. . . . The important thing is to correct it when it isn’t intentional.

   The Merriam-Webster Dictionary of English Usage elaborates on this, saying writers use the spelling ‘to create an unlettered persona’. It cites several examples, including a ‘he’d of got me’ from F. Scott Fitzgerald, who ‘used the spelling to represent the speech of a woman who was not overeducated’, as MWDEU politely puts it.

   Here is must of in an intertitle in the Buster Keaton film Steamboat Bill, Jr. (1928):

   And in Josef von Sternberg’s 1928 The Docks of New York:

   Over the last number of years, I’ve seen the non-standard of-form in many books by authors who presumably knew what they were doing:

   ‘I could of sworn I’d run into you some place before.’ (Carson McCullers, The Member of the Wedding)

   ‘Oh Miz, oh Miz,’ he moaned, rubbing his leg. ‘You shouldn’t of done that, you shouldn’t, you reely shouldn’t.’ (Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar)

   ‘All bloody and mucked up, with figuring away aboard the Vénus, when two minutes would of changed it.’ (Patrick O’Brian, The Mauritius Command)

   ‘I’d of liked to be stabbed – and have lashings of red paint.’ (Agatha Christie, Dead Man’s Folly)

   ‘Never should of married‘ (Dylan Thomas, Under Milk Wood)

   ‘See, they must of had them already saddled.’ (Elmore Leonard, The Law at Randado)

   ‘If I hadn’t of got my tubes tied, it could of been me, say I was ten years younger.’ (Margaret Atwood, The Handmaid’s Tale)

   ‘You could of just told him.’ (Raymond Chandler, The Long Good-bye)

   ‘You could of said no and I could of not believed you.’ (Raymond Chandler, The Long Good-bye)

   ‘She must of grabbed some pills.’ (Raymond Chandler, The Long Good-bye)

   ‘You ought to of asked for me in the first place.’ (Raymond Chandler, ‘Trouble Is My Business’, in Trouble Is My Business)

   ‘Maybe I had ought to of gone to the servant’s entrance.’ (Raymond Chandler, ‘Trouble Is My Business’, in Trouble Is My Business)

   ‘Youve never seen anything so mad, the lassie couldnt of known what kind of nut house she was in.’ (Alan Warner, Morvern Callar)

   ‘I don’t suppose he would remember you,’ the woman said thoughtfully. ‘Seems like he would of mentioned you sometimes if he did.’ (Shirley Jackson, ‘The Lie’, in Let Me Tell You)

   ‘He shouldn’t of done it, that’s all’ (Shirley Jackson, ‘Root of Evil’, in Let Me Tell You)

   ‘My wife,’ he said, putting his elbows on the counter and still watching Judith, ‘my wife, you ought to of heard her when she thought I was going.’ (Shirley Jackson, ‘Homecoming’, in Let Me Tell You)

   ‘If he’d of been a friend of mine you would have said plenty, believe me,” Mrs. Royster said darkly. (Shirley Jackson, ‘The Daemon Lover’)

   ‘She sure must of been glad to see him, the way he looked,’ the old man said. (Shirley Jackson, ‘The Daemon Lover’)

   ‘I never saw him,’ the clerk in the drugstore said. ‘I know because I would of noticed the flowers.’ (Shirley Jackson, ‘The Daemon Lover’)

   ‘If you had of been dead, you’d of had a funeral. I only just thought a that now. I’d of went along.’ (Claire Kilroy, The Devil I Know)

   Mabey I shoudnt of let them oparate on my branes like she said if its agenst god. (Daniel Keyes, Flowers for Algernon)

   Now that makes me feel bad because I would never of hurt the baby. (Daniel Keyes, Flowers for Algernon)

   ‘I should of had my head examined.’ (Daniel Keyes, Flowers for Algernon)

   ‘She should of got it lit before we arrived.’ (Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters)

   ‘Maybe you should of shot us when we was far away.’ (Chris Cleave, The Other Hand)

   ‘If he’d been an animal, he’d of been the runt of the litter and we’d of put him down.’ (Gillian Flynn, Dark Places)

   ‘I could of used the money,’ Donna said. ‘That’s what I was thinking.’ […] ‘It’s true,’ she said. ‘I could of used the money.’ (Raymond Carver, ‘Vitamins’, in Cathedral)

   ‘And here I’d of sworn…’ He took another try at the coffee cup, registered surprise to find it empty. (James Sallis, Drive)

   ‘Figured they must of took you when they took Ellis.’ (James Sallis, Bluebottle)

   Must of been May 14 as May 12 is my birthday and it was by way of a late present. (Minette Walters, The Ice House)

   ‘You could of got it from the paper.’ (Minette Walters, The Sculptress)

   ‘You should of shown me this last time.’ (Minette Walters, The Sculptress)

   ‘She went guilty so she must of done it.’ (Minette Walters, The Sculptress)

   Yorkin cringed. ‘Me. Pierce told me to clip him. I shouldn’t of done it by the drop.’ (James Ellroy, L. A. Confidential)

   ‘That sure could of been true,’ says the clerk at the Salon City store (Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild)

   ‘I must of fell asleep, eh?’
   ‘I guess you must have,’ said Isserley. (Michel Faber, Under the Skin)

   Then one day, it must of rained, and man discovered a new place: indoors. (Philomena Cunk, Cunk on Everything)

   And where that monkey might of come from. (Philomena Cunk, Cunk on Everything)

   I would of put loads more dinosaurs in. (Philomena Cunk, Cunk on Everything)

   ‘Donnie, we’d of finished this Betamax deal in ten days. And we’d have had winter money, all three of us.’ (Joseph D. Pistone with Richard Woodley, Donnie Brasco: My Undercover Life in the Mafia)

   ‘And who else could of built it?’ Mr Madden shouted. (Brian Moore, The Lonely Passion of Judith Hearne)

   Sheila, the woodshed, should of paddled you sooner. (Brian Moore, The Lonely Passion of Judith Hearne)

   ‘You went had in there. Stark mad. You’d have raped her if . . .’
   ‘I’d of what?‘ (Brian Moore, The Lonely Passion of Judith Hearne)

   ‘I never should of come here.’ (Brian Moore, The Lonely Passion of Judith Hearne)

   ‘Whether Miriam would of been any different, I don’t know, but I’d say she’d of been worse.’ (Patricia Highsmith, Strangers on a Train)

   ‘I’d of thought Mrs Herman was the last person in the world to—’ (Dashiell Hammett, The Dain Curse)

   …the marshal hadn’t taken any of the Collinsons’ property though of course he might of. (Dashiell Hammett, The Dain Curse)

   ‘I wouldn’t of flagged that taxi if the For Hire flag hadn’t been up.’ (Dashiell Hammet, ‘Fly Paper’, in The Big Knockover and other stories)

   ”F he’d of been a man I’d of seen him in hell ‘fore I’d of gave it to him.’ (Dashiell Hammett, ‘Corkscrew’, in The Big Knockover and other stories)

   ‘They may of gone,’ he said slowly. (Dashiell Hammett, ‘The Golden Horseshoe’, in The Continental Op)

   ‘But he must of gone through the house and out front . . .’ (Dashiell Hammett, ‘The Girls with the Silver Eyes’, in The ContinentalOp)

   ‘Anybody could of got in them with a ladder.’ (Dashiell Hammett, ‘The Farewell Murder’, in The Continental Op)

   ‘Well, we would of if she hadn’t put the two X’s to me the same as she done to you’ . . . ‘but if my rod hadn’t of got snagged in my flogger you wouldn’t have seen nothing else.’ (Dashiell Hammett, ‘The Whosis Kid’, in The Continental Op)

   ‘If I’d known you five years ago I’d of given it to you.’ (Sara Paretsky, ‘The Maltese Cat’, in Windy City Blues)

   ‘Mate, I’ve probably said enough already. More than I should of (taps nose) . . . Professional conduct an’ all that.’ (Nicola Barker, Darkmans)

   ‘Yes, and if the bastard hadn’t of moved I’d have got him, too.’ (Alexander Masters, Stuart: A Life Backwards)

   ‘I’m Billy Baker. Your Daddy might of talked about me, called me Space?’ (Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon, Preacher) (pictured and quoted below: Preacher no. 2: Proud Americans)

   ”Cause I hope I ain’t outta line here, but I think he’d of been cool about you hearin’ it…’ (Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon, Preacher)

   ‘He was stupid an’ clumsy an’ kind of a weakling, an’ he wouldn’t of lasted a fuckin’ day over there if it hadn’t been for one thing’ (Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon, Preacher)

   ‘See, we’d of done Murphy there an’ then, we’d of had to do Van Patten as well — an’ I knew your Daddy didn’t really wanna do that.’ (Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon, Preacher)

   The Dunns must of felt this when Tracy vanished. (Octavia E. Butler, Parable of the Sower)

   ‘She must of really gotten knocked out.’ (Jonathan Lethem, Girl in Landscape)

   ‘He’s not around now, or you’d of met him.’ (Jonathan Lethem, Girl in Landscape)

   ‘They could of just been losing us,’ said Coney. (Jonathan Lethem, Motherless Brooklyn)

   ‘Your parents must of been hippies,’ he’d tell me. (Jonathan Lethem, Motherless Brooklyn)

   ‘He might of been a little impatient for his date with Frank.’ (Jonathan Lethem, Motherless Brooklyn)

   ‘If it weren’t for Gilbert I would of told him to stick it—’ (Jonathan Lethem, Motherless Brooklyn)

   ‘Oh, I’d of straightened it out,’ Tony said. (Jonathan Lethem, Motherless Brooklyn)

   ‘Each one of them, he says it might of been you, it might of been two other guys.’ (Robert Anton Wilson, The Universe Next Door)

   ‘You must of been back on the reservation eating peyote again.’ (Robert Anton Wilson, The Universe Next Door)

   ‘And it wouldn’t of mattered to me whether you did or did not like women.’ (George Pelecanos, Drama City)

   ‘I wouldn’t of thought of such a thing in a million years.’ (George Pelecanos, The Big Blowdown)

   ‘If you hadn’t of stepped in the middle of everything—’ (George Pelecanos, The Big Blowdown)

   It would of done no good gettin’ somebody else te scratch it for me because that was a sin as well. (Frances Molloy, No Mate for the Magpie)

   ‘Been calling all night. Four, five calls, must of been.’ (Lawrence Block, A Ticket to the Boneyard)

   ‘Six-thirty or so, you must of just got on your way to Maspeth, guy goes out back with a load of kitchen garbage.’ (Lawrence Block, A Dance at the Slaughterhouse)

   ‘Another minute and I would of made it, you rats.’ (Lawrence Block, No Score)

   ‘Now if you would of done this we wouldn’t have any trouble.’ (Lawrence Block, No Score)

   ‘Need a social security card,’ he said. ‘You must of had one, I guess.’ (Lawrence Block, Chip Harrison Scores Again)

   ‘Guess they must of been chafing you some on that bus ride.’ (Lawrence Block, Chip Harrison Scores Again)

   ‘You might not of noticed yesterday but he’s only got one hand.’ (Ron Rash, The Cove)

   ‘Would he of died?’ (Alison Bechdel, Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic)

   ‘Pete should of told me,’ he said. (Donald Westlake, Good Behavior)

   ‘Okay,’ Dortmunder said. ‘Could be worse. She could of been wearing her habit, right?’ (Donald Westlake, Good Behavior)

   ‘Wound up, it took him forty-eight years to serve a ten-year sentence that he should of got out in three.’ (Donald Westlake, Good Behavior)

   ‘She has on a pair of bikinis I couldn’t of got into when I was ten years old.’ (Elmore Leonard, Mr. Paradise)

   ‘We could’ve settled, the city pays out a few bucks, it wouldn’t of cost you a dime.’ (Elmore Leonard, Mr. Paradise)

   ‘You know what I sor?’ said the child patiently. ‘Well, the train must of stopped, see, and some little men with bundles on their backs got on.’ (Mavis Gallant, ‘Up North’, in The Omnibus of 20th Century Ghost Stories, edited by Robert Phillips)

   ‘You two might of settled down and had a nice baby or something.’ (John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces)

   ‘Maybe you should of looked around some more.’ (John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces)

   ‘He must of gone to the show.’ (John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces)

   ‘I shouldn’t of toog you id,’ Angelo breathed. ‘I got nerbous.’
   ‘It was all my fault,’ Mrs Reilly said, ‘for trying to protect that Ignatius. I should of let you lock him away, Angelo.’ (John Kennedy Toole, A Confederacy of Dunces)

   ‘I don’t think I’d of wanted to go down there even for the Grape-Nuts. But maybe if we’d’ve gone real fast . . .’ (Harlan Ellison, ‘Sensible City’, in The Dead that Walk, edited by Stephen Jones)

   ‘You could of killed someone!’ (Neil Gaiman, Death: The High Cost of Living)

   ‘There’s a lot of places round here you could of bin.’ (Neil Gaiman, Death: The High Cost of Living)

   ‘If she’d stuck around, I could of asked her advice. I bet she could of come up with somewhere to put you that no one would think of lookin’, not if you paid them ready money.’ (Neil Gaiman, Death: The High Cost of Living)

   ‘If you’d gotten into a fight with that swordarm of yours, there’d of been bodies all over’ (Kazuo Koike and Goseki Kojima, Lone Wolf and Cub, vol. 2: The Gateless Barrier, translated by Dana Lewis)

   ‘It ain’t right I wasn’t there because if I had of been there I would of known.’ (Flannery O’Connor, A Good Man is Hard to Find)’The other vics probably would have lived if Lewin hadn’t of made that play.’ (George Pelecanos, Shame the Devil)

   ‘I should of thought of that my own self.’ (George Pelecanos, Shame the Devil)

   ‘If you’d gone in right away, you would of got him, none of this would of happened. . . . I’d of got off! You think I’d of stood around that roadblock for seven hours?’ (Richard Stark, Slayground)

   ‘That guy talks pretty big, Cory. We should of called his bluff right there.’ (Richard Stark, Ask the Parrot)

   ‘Everything screws up, it just gets worse and worse, we should never of got into this, we’re fuckups, that’s all, we’re just fuckups.’ (Richard Stark, Comeback)

   ‘Might of slipped in and out, nobody the wiser, except we were already on the scene, account of Parmitt being gone.’ (Richard Stark, Flashfire)

   ‘Couldn’t you of – oh, he was ignorant in his speech – couldn’t you of prevented it?’ (Hilary Mantel, Beyond Black)

   ‘I should of thought to bring a sun lounger, from the garden centre,’ Mart said. (Hilary Mantel, Beyond Black)

   ‘He could of been,’ her mother said vaguely. (Hilary Mantel, Beyond Black)

   When she provoked him and he was in a temper with her, he would say, count your blessings, girl, you fink I’m bad but you could of had MacArthur. You could have had Bob Fox, or Aitkenside, or Pikey Pete. You could have had my mate Keef Capstick. You could of had Nick, and then where’d you be? (Hilary Mantel, Beyond Black)

   He shouldn’t of been near enough . . . (Donal Ryan, ‘Aisling’, in A Slanting of the Sun)

   Stupid idea anyway I dont think he ever wud of really done it. (Paul Murray, The Bee Sting – this example is from a teenager’s text message)

   But if she hadn’t of drank she would never have seen him at all and better that she was there she thought where she could at least try to keep some grip on him before he lost the run of himself completely (Paul Murray, The Bee Sting)

   Lar thought about it They must of gone out on a job he said (Paul Murray, The Bee Sting)

   I wonder what kind of life you might have had, if you hadn’t of been dragged back here. (Paul Murray, The Bee Sting)

   I paid a man to write it he says He must of never sent it at all (Paul Murray, The Bee Sting)

   I wish someone had of told me you croak into his shoulder (Paul Murray, The Bee Sting)

   Lars frowns Choosing his words He didn’t think you should of married Dickie he says (Paul Murray, The Bee Sting)

   U SHUD OF TOLD ME I CUD OF SHOWD U AROUD!!!! (Paul Murray, The Bee Sting, text message)

   ‘Hell, if I knew I was sitting on a gold mine, I’d of sold ’em a long time ago.’ (Jim Dodge, Not Fade Away)

   ‘And he couldn’t of loved me because he took away my kid, he’s off someplace where I can’t never see him.’ (James Baldwin, Another Country)

   ‘But I would of died for my kid, I wouldn’t never of let anything happen to him.’ (James Baldwin, Another Country)

   ‘I couldn’t of done nothing else,’ he cried, ‘what else could I of done? Where could I of gone with Esther, and me a preacher, too? And what could I of done with you?’ (James Baldwin, Go Tell It on the Mountain)

   ‘Must of had a heart attack or something!?’ (Jamie Hewlett and Alan Martin, Tank Girl One):

   A curious example in Jim Nesbit’s novel Lethal Injection, where a character says “would’ve of”. My first thought was that it was a copy-editing or proofreading fix that stopped halfway: changing “would of” to “would’ve” and neglecting to delete the “of”. But a search online shows occasional analogous examples in unedited writing, and adjacent discussion on Language Log, so it may well be authentically dialectal:

   The example below, from alt-manga historian Ryan Holmberg’s The Translator Without Talent, is from The Marvel Times, a pretend-newspaper about comics that he created on his twelfth birthday. So its must of is probably not deliberate and also completely forgivable:

   Such phrases appear often in Cormac McCarthy’s novels. Here are some from Cities of the Plain, all used in dialogue:

   You’d never of knowed it though.

   I wouldn’t of wrote home for nothin.

   Looks like they’d of learned to stay out of it.

   Johnny if he hadnt of found that girl would of found somethin else.

   And there was nothin any mortal man could of done to of stopped it.

   And from Blood Meridian:

   No, No, he said. I mean ye was lost to of come here.

   It might of been a mule.

   Somebody ought to of pickled it a long time ago.

   Must of been a thousand indians in there all settin around.

   He appears to of spoke for hisself.

   I couldnt of learned it off ten dutchmen.

   Him and the governor they sat up till breakfast and it was Paris this and London that in five languages, you’d of give something to of heard them.

   Don’t you know he’d of took you with him? He’d of took you, boy.

   Glanton spat. Ort to of shot that one too, he said.

   Well, he said. I’d of thought any damn fool could saw the barrels off a shotgun.

   That old boy you bought them off of might of said they was injins but that dont make it so.
   The man didnt answer.
   Them ears could of come off of cannibals . . .

   You wouldnt of lived anyway, the man said.

   And from All the Pretty Horses:

   They might as well of, he said.

   Otherwise I’d of been born in Alabama.

   …it was a mistake not to of told you.

   But if it hadnt of been for her I wouldnt of made it.

   He might well could of

   Might well could of is also a nice example of a double modal. The [modal]-of construction is used frequently throughout Chris Cleave’s remarkable novel Incendiary:

   She was like that was Mena. Philosophical. I’d definitely of killed myself if it hadn’t of been for her.

   If you could of looked in my eyes you’d of seen the same thing I shouldn’t wonder.

   I wouldn’t of come near you I’d never of let you touch me you should be ashamed.

   Most notably in this exchange between two people only one of whom uses it dialectally:

   – He would of said something.
   – Maybe he wouldn’t have.
   – Wouldn’t you of?

   A remarkable example in A Gate at the Stairs by Lorrie Moore uses it without a preceding modal, in the speech of a young child:

   ‘You got brown eyes,’ she said. ‘I of brown eyes.’

   Searching the Corpus of Contemporary American English for the string would of [v*], where [v*] is a verb, produces the graph below. It shows that the of-form’s predominant setting is fiction, usually ‘would of been’, and it also shows up in transcription of actual speech, as in the academic and newspaper instances. You can click through the image to view examples, sources, and further information at COCA.

   The magazine data are false positives (‘we’d have a better chance of achieving a breakthrough in quantum gravity than we would of figuring out how to reliably connect with teenagers’), but you get an idea of the construction’s low frequency and particular genre distribution.

   Plotting could of [v*] usages over time, using the related Corpus of Historical American English, suggests the construction may have peaked. Or is that just wishful thinking? Again, you can click on this graph for details, or open it in another tab.

   Of 1000 occurrences of could/would of in the Oxford English Corpus, about 850 are from ‘representations of direct speech (mostly from the Fiction domain, but also from interviews and courtroom transcripts)’. That leaves 150 genuine written instances of could/would of, compared with 4 million examples of standard could/would have. I can’t help picturing a global battalion of editors keeping it firmly at bay.

   The of-form is not frequent in edited prose, but it appears quite often in casual writing and it has been around a while. Does that count for much? MWDEU says its prolonged use has ‘not made it respectable’, and recommends avoiding it – including in transcriptions of real speech, since ’ve serves the purpose equally well. I agree, and I think if someone explicitly says of, and stresses it, that might warrant a ‘[sic]’.

   Regular readers know I like to make room for literary effect and poetic licence, but I have never warmed to this mistake. Every time I see it – be its use naive or intentional – I want to fix it. Authenticity of dialect and character are all well and good, but I think the main effect of the deliberate usage in edited prose is further uncertainty and error (not to mention irritation, in some quarters). What do you think?

   Updates:

   Years after writing this, I’ve softened considerably on the modal-of construction. This is partly because of exposure to its use by so many great writers, and also because it’s a good example of language change – a natural, essential characteristic of a living language. See my post on reconciling descriptivism with editing for more discussion.

   I’ve come across many more examples in books, and have added them to the sets above and below. @desktopenglish on Twitter drew my attention to this BBC article that quotes a footballer saying he ‘Shouldn’t of reacted the way I did’.

   What sounds to me like a good audio example comes from author Zadie Smith on the Adam Buxton Podcast. This link should cue the player automatically at 15:50, but if it doesn’t, that’s the time stamp. The relevant exchange is as follows, discussing Smith’s father:

   Smith: He was very uptight about time, yeah.

   Buxton: It rubbed off on you.

   Smith: It must of, yeah.

   Medievalist Lucy Allen found the line ‘For methowte I wold not for my life a sen it fallen’ in a 14thC religious text, The Shewings of Julian of Norwich. Translating it as ‘I thought I would not for my life of seen it fall’ [underlines mine], she writes: ‘it’s always fun when you notice something in a medieval text that is a dead ringer for one of the “modern” mistakes that horrify the pearl-clutchers’.

   David Crystal adds further historical commentary in his book Making Sense: The Glamorous Story of English Grammar:

   On 5 September 1819 the poet John Keats sends an apologetic letter to his publisher John Taylor, in which he writes:

   Had I known of your illness I should not of written in such fierry phrase in my first Letter.

   ‘Should not of written’? From such a great poet? It must have been just a slip, because later on in the same letter he writes ‘You should not have delayed.’ What interests me is to find this confusion 200 years ago. It isn’t just a modern thing, as some critics say. That identity in pronunciation between the preposition of and the unstressed form of the auxiliary verb have has been around a long time.

   Morph, a linguistics blog by the Surrey Morphology Group at the University of Surrey, has a great post on different aspects of the modal-of usage: ‘What’s the good of “would of”?’

   Lots of examples in Anne Tyler’s If Morning Ever Comes, spoken by several different characters (of different ages, backgrounds, and ethnicities):

   ‘You mustn’t of been but twelve or so but I remembered.’

   ‘You shouldn’t of mentioned breakfast, boy,’ he said.

   ‘Course I think he could of made a better choice in wives, but then Sally’s right pretty and I reckon I can see his point in picking her.’

   ‘You know, when I was a boy we’d of been plumb through town by now.’

   ‘If we’d of known,’ she said, ‘I’d of cleaned up house a little.’

   ‘Folks tell me I take too good care of him, so it can’t of been that he got too cold. Though he is right much of a puddle-wader, that could’ve done it.’ [Note nearby use of could’ve.]

   ‘I don’t guess my letter would of made any change in him one way or the other.’

   ‘If I’d of married Jamie,” she said, “I would of had a different family.’

   ‘Well, if it hadn’t of been her, it’d been someone else.’

   ‘She mustn’t of seen us.’

   Ross Macdonald also makes regular use of the construction:

   ‘If they knew they had a buyer, they might of stayed in business to accommodate you.’ (Ross Macdonald, The Blue Hammer)

   ‘I wish I could of died instead of him.’ (Ross Macdonald, The Blue Hammer)

   ‘The other man took them, he must of.’ (Ross Macdonald, The Galton Case)

   ‘He must of got away.’ (Ross Macdonald, The Galton Case)

   ‘He must of fell down on the knife and stabbed himself.’ (Ross Macdonald, The Galton Case)

   ‘He would of killed him too.’ (Ross Macdonald, The Galton Case)

   ‘When Culligan came marching out, armed up to the teeth, you could of knocked me over with a ‘dozer.’ (Ross Macdonald, The Galton Case)

   ‘Lucky for him I was out, or I’d of shown him what’s what.’ (Ross Macdonald, The Galton Case)

   ‘You were just a tiny baby, but that wouldn’t of stopped him.’ (Ross Macdonald, The Galton Case)

   As does Elmore Leonard; these are from The Hot Kid:

   Emmett Long kept looking at him. ‘You had a gun you’d of shot me, huh?’

   ‘I’d of shoved the ice cream cone up his goddamn nose.’

   What Oris did, he got mad, changed the name of the company from Busy Bee Oil & Gas – a cartoon bumblebee in the trademark they’d of had one day – to NMD Oil & Gas, standing for No More Dusters, and worked a year as a driller to restore his capital.

   ‘The only one I told was Emmett,’ Carl said. ‘It had to of been Crystal told the papers.’

   She had to wonder if she had been here would he of recognized her, and bet he would’ve.

   ‘I’d of arrested him he’s walking in the door,’ Lester said.

   Franklin was shaking his head. ‘I’d of seen ’em.’

   ‘I told him he shouldn’t of left the key in it.’

   ‘She looked at him again with a faint smile. ‘I would never of suspected.’

   ‘The first remark out of his mouth, I’d of pulled and killed him where he stood.’

   ‘She’d of given me the choice of taking a chance with Teddy or being locked up.’

   ‘She wouldn’t of started breakfast if they weren’t all downstairs near ready to eat.’

   ‘Jack’s a talker,’ Carl said. ‘He’d of thought of a reason to go alone, pick up a bottle? And Tony’s polite, he would’ve said don’t steal the car, okay?’

   ‘No, he couldn’t of known that.’

   ‘Jack Belmont wouldn’t of left with bullets in his gun.’

   The minute Jack wasn’t looking, like taking a leak or something, she’d of run out of the house to find a cop.

   But Nancy knew who he was, so so the kidnapping wouldn’t of worked.

   ‘If I hadn’t decided to step back inside to answer the phone, I’d of missed one of the great opportunities of my career as a journalist . . .’

   Richard Stark, already quoted above, has half a dozen examples in his first novel, The Hunter:

   ‘If Art wanted to see you, he’d of told you where to find him.’
   

   Stegman blinked. ‘He must of believed me.’
   

   ‘His wife must of known it, but she never told me.’

   ‘Five minutes later,’ the owner told him, ‘you’d of been out of luck.’

   ‘…it must of meant something, that’s all.’

   ‘I wouldn’t of believed it.’

   The spelling occurs often in Kent Haruf’s novel Plainsong:

   He should of taken it last year.

   She might of come down and gone back, Ike said. She might not of too.

   She must not of stuck.

   She must of went home, Mr. Guthrie.

   You shouldn’t even of touched that.

   Well, he might of went to Denver, Raymond said. Then he might of went back to the Rosebud in South Dakota.

   I should of called during these months, I know.

   You could of done something yourself too, you know, he said.

   Something must of happened to her, Harold said. She must of got taken off or something.

   I can’t think of anything we might of did.

   You don’t even know where he might of took her for sure.
   He might of landed her in Pueblo or Walsenburg.

   We didn’t know what we might of done to cause you to want to leave here like that.

   He better not of hurt her permanent, Raymond said.

   And in Pete Dexter’s novel Train:

   “They must of left the sprinklers on all night,” the fat man said after he got back in control of his deportment again.

   “He must of got home somehow,” Train said.

   “She all convulsed the whole time they going through the house; she keeps saying, ‘Oh, no, he couldn’t of did that….'”

   Train began thinking more and more that the world might of decided to let him alone.

   Now he thought about he, she might not of even noticed the table leg if he hadn’t dropped it and woke up the dog…

   Train thought it must of reminded him of that feeling when he was hit by that car and rolled across the road.

   Then, if it was the right officer, they might of just carted Mayflower out of there, just because she was pretty, and then took his ass out into the desert and left it.

   “One of them must of got up here and took it,” he said.

   It seemed like Mr. Cooper must of told him where he come from, or how else would he know?

   Must of bought his clothes in the boy’s department.

   Melrose might of been trying to say something too, and Train distinctly saw his jaw slide out from under his face.

   It came to Train the Plural must of heard her before she even come out of the double-wide, that he must of known from how she was walking that she was mad.

   “A blind man,” he said, “We should of sold tickets.”

   Walter Tevis’s The Hustler, from multiple characters:

   ‘You should never of quit going to Sunday school.’

   ‘I already watched you lose – watched you lose to a man you should of beat.’

   ‘And if I hadn’t already paid for it I could of with the money I won in side bets.’

   ‘They couldn’t of helped but hear of me.’

   ‘I should of let that guy quit, Charlie, like you told me.’

   #books #corpusLinguistics #couldOf #dialects #dialogue #etymology #eyeDialect #fiction #grammar #language #linguistics #literacy #modalVerbs #modals #phrases #reading #schwa #speech #speechErrors #spelling #transcription #typos #usage #verbs #writing

   #books #corpuslinguistics #couldof #dialects #dialogue #etymology
10. 

    Sky Dancing @[email protected] · 2025-07-23 · 16:50 UTC

    Wednesday Reads: The Jeffrey Epstein Scandal and Immigration Horrors

    Good Morning!!

    Trump and Epstein ogle young women at a Mar-a-Lago party.

    The Epstein story is still leading the news as Trump continues to panic and try desperately to distract from the scandal.

    Yesterday, in a bizarre and incoherent oval office rant, he actually accused former president Barack Obama of committing treason by ordering an investigation of Russia’s interference in the 2016 election.

    Trump doesn’t understand the concept of treason, which is defined in the Constitution as follows:

    Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.

    But for malignant narcissist Trump, treason means any fantasized attack on him personally. ABC News: Trump accuses Obama of ‘treason’ in the Oval Office.

    Days after President Donald Trump posted an AI-generated fake video showing former President Barack Obama’s arrest on his social media platform, the current president pushed conspiracy theories about Obama in the Oval Office on Tuesday, accusing him of treason without providing evidence regarding the 2016 presidential election.

    “They tried to rig the election, and they got caught. And there should be very severe consequences for that,” Trump told reporters on Tuesday.

    Trump’s comments come after Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard submitted a criminal referral to the Department of Justice threatening the Obama administration.

    NBC News: Obama pushes back on Trump’s ‘outrageous’ and ‘bizarre’ treason claim.

    Former President Barack Obama’s office issued a rare rebuke of President Donald Trump on Tuesday after the president accused his predecessor of having committed “treason” and rigging the 2016 and 2020 elections.

    “Out of respect for the office of the presidency, our office does not normally dignify the constant nonsense and misinformation flowing out of this White House with a response,” Obama spokesperson Patrick Rodenbush said. “But these claims are outrageous enough to merit one. These bizarre allegations are ridiculous and a weak attempt at distraction.”

    When reporters on Tuesday asked Trump about the late convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, he pivoted to what he called Obama’s “criminality.”

    “After what they did to me — and whether it’s right or wrong, it’s time to go after people. Obama’s been caught directly,” Trump told reporters. “What they did in 2016 and 2020 is very criminal. It’s criminal at the highest level. So that’s really the things you should be talking about.”

    “Look, he’s guilty. It’s not a question,” Trump added. “This was treason. This was every word you can think of. They tried to steal the election. They tried to obfuscate the election.”

    Imagine if any other president had said something like this. But Trump gets away with it.

    Trump was referring to claims made by National Intelligence Director Tulsi Gabbard and CIA Director John Ratcliffe in social media posts and television appearances that they had found Obama administration officials manipulated intelligence and conspired to undermine the legitimacy of Trump’s electoral victory in 2016.

    Gabbard posted on social media on Friday that she was making a criminal referral to the Justice Department.

    At an event with congressional Republicans later Tuesday, Trump praised Gabbard and again accused Obama of being part of an effort to rig the elections. “These are vicious, horrible people,” he said of the former president and others.

    Trump sits next to Epstein with two Don Jr. and Ivanka

    Of course the Supreme Court claims the Constitution makes presidents immune from prosecution for official acts. But Trump is obviously freaking out about what releasing the Epstein files would reveal about him and desperately lashing out at his political enemies.

    This is analysis by Stephen Collinson at CNN: Trump’s latest bid to end Epstein storm: Weaponizing the federal government.

    Donald Trump’s bid to smother the uproar over accused sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein shows that he’s already achieved one goal his critics most feared from his second presidency.

    The Justice Department and the head of the US intelligence community are now openly operating as fully weaponized tools to pursue the president’s personal political needs in a degradation of a governing system meant to be an antidote to king-like patronage.

    This new dynamic underpinned a wild Oval Office press appearance by Trump on Tuesday, his latest attempt to put out the Epstein fire that had only the now-familiar effect of feeding the flames.

    The extent of the president’s capture of two key agencies that are vital to keeping Americans safe was revealed when a reporter asked a question about his administration’s refusal to open all files related to the Epstein case.

    The president pivoted to a tirade against Barack Obama, accusing the former president of staging a treasonous coup against him — basing his assault on a convenient and misleading memo about Russia’s 2016 election meddling that was released last week by Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard.

    The Justice Department has also been activated, yet again, to give Trump cover.

    Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche announced Tuesday that he will take the highly unusual move of meeting with Ghislaine Maxwell — who was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison for carrying out a yearslong scheme with Epstein to groom and sexually abuse underage girls — to ask what she knows but hasn’t so far told. Epstein died in jail while awaiting trial on sex trafficking charges.

    “I don’t know anything about it,” Trump told reporters in the Oval Office Tuesday.

    This seems a stretch, since Blanche is Trump’s former personal lawyer and plans to speak with a prisoner who has a clear incentive to offer testimony that could help a president who has the power to let her out of prison.

    Read the rest at CNN.

    Meanwhile, Trump sycophant House speaker Mike Johnson took action by cancelling the rest of the House session. Paul Waldman at MSNBC: The Epstein fallout literally shut down the House early for the summer.

    It’s been a week and a half since President Donald Trump complained on Truth Social that his many, many accomplishments were being overshadowed, “all over a guy who never dies, Jeffrey Epstein.” There is a kind of truth in Trump’s lament: Six years after his death in a Manhattan jail cell, Epstein lives on — and he has Republicans in something approaching panic. It’s gotten so bad that House Republicans apparently decided to shut the chamber down early before leaving town.

    Things fell apart for the GOP in the House Rules Committee, which determines which legislation reaches the House floor. Knowing how much GOP leaders would like this issue to just go away, Democrats attempted to force the House to vote on releasing all the information the government has on Epstein. “To avoid embarrassing votes on Epstein,” NBC News reported, “Republicans decided to recess the committee and not attempt to pass a rule for bills this week. Without a rule, Republicans would be left with nothing to vote on after Wednesday.” Instead, House Speaker Mike Johnson, R-La., began the chamber’s five-week summer recess early, apparently in hopes that by the time the members return in the fall, the affair will all have blown over.

    The whole episode recalls the famous line from “All the President’s Men”: “The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of control.”

    Jeffrey Epstein at Trump’s and Marla Maples’ wedding.

    Waldman notes that most Republicans don’t buy all the conspiracy theories cooked up by their base, but the Epstein conspiracy theories are base in reality.

    …[U]nfortunately for the president and his party, the public interest and the political debate around Epstein concerns real life, including his relationship with Trump. Epstein really was a fabulously wealthy and well-connected pedophile and sex trafficker. He really did die in jail, awaiting trial on sex trafficking and conspiracy charges. Both Trump and Vice President JD Vance really did encourage speculation that Epstein did not commit suicide. There really are a huge number of documents from the government’s investigation of Epstein that have not been made public.

    And before the pair had a “falling-out” (in the president’s words) in the mid-2000s, Epstein really was good friends with Donald Trump. “I’ve known Jeff for 15 years. Terrific guy,” Trump said in 2002. “He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.”

    After reiterating that Epstein’s death was a suicide and the case was closed, the administration faced a revolt from right-wing influencers who had been telling their audiences for years that the new Trump administration would blow the lid off everything Epstein was involved in. Then Trump begged people to talk about something, anything else, though his pleadings are falling on deaf ears. And on Tuesday, Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche announced that — at Attorney General Pam Bondi’s request — he intends to talk to Ghislaine Maxwell, currently serving a 20-year sentence for conspiring to aid Epstein in sex trafficking. The idea that Bondi and Blanche — both Trump loyalists who previously served among the president’s personal lawyers — are suddenly interested in Maxwell for solely apolitical reasons strains credulity, to say the least.

    Waldman writes that Republicans are faced with an uprising from the base and Trump’s desire to prevent any further Epstein revelations, and so they decided to get out of town instead of taking a vote on the release of the Epstein files.

    New Epstein Revelations

    CNN’s Andrew Kaczynski and Em Steck: Exclusive: Newly discovered photos and video shed fresh light on Trump’s ties to Jeffrey Epstein.

    Newly uncovered archived video footage and photos reveal fresh details about Donald Trump’s past relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.

    Photos from 1993 confirm for the first time that Epstein attended Trump’s 1993 wedding to Marla Maples. Epstein’s attendance at the ceremony at the Plaza Hotel was not widely known until now.

    In addition, footage from a 1999 Victoria’s Secret fashion event in New York shows Trump and Epstein laughing and chatting together ahead of the runway event. CNN’s KFile uncovered the raw footage during a review of archival video of Trump at events in the 1990s and 2000s. Trump and Epstein appeared together in at least one video among the limited archival footage reviewed.

    The new footage and photos, which have not been widely reported and pre-date any of Epstein’s known legal issues, come amid renewed scrutiny of Trump’s past relationship with Epstein. The Justice Department’s recent decision not to release long-promised files related to Epstein has spurred outrage in some corners of Trump’s MAGA movement, where people developed an expectation for bombshell revelations into Epstein’s alleged co-conspirators.

    In a brief call with CNN on Tuesday, President Trump, asked about the wedding photos, responded, “You’ve got to be kidding me,” before repeatedly calling CNN “fake news” and hanging up.

    In a statement to CNN, White House Communications Director Steven Cheung said, “These are nothing more than out-of-context frame grabs of innocuous videos and pictures of widely attended events to disgustingly infer something nefarious.

    “The fact is that the President kicked him out of his club for being a creep. This is nothing more than a continuation of the fake news stories concocted by the Democrats and the liberal media.”

    Read the rest at watch videos at CNN.

    Greg Sargent at The New Republic: Trump’s Epstein Fiasco Takes Darker Turn as Dem Senator Drops New Bomb.

    A few days ago, as the Jeffrey Epstein scandal gripped Washington, Senator Ron Wyden offered a striking revelation in an interview with The New York Times. The Oregon Democrat said that his investigators had discovered that four big banks had flagged to the Treasury Department $1.5 billion in potentially suspicious money transfers involving Epstein, much of which appeared to be related to his massive sex-trafficking network.

    Trump with Jeffrey Epstein at Victoria’s Secret event in 1999.

    The revelation—which emerged via Wyden’s work as ranking Democrat on the Finance Committee—ratified widespread suspicions that there is still much we don’t know about Epstein’s relations with some of the most powerful and wealthy elites in the world in the lead-up to his 2019 arrest on sex-trafficking charges.

    Now Wyden is ratcheting things up once again. Wyden’s office just sent a new letter to Attorney General Pam Bondi—which The New Republic obtained—suggesting seven potent lines of inquiry that the Justice Department could follow, right now, to dig more deeply into Epstein’s web of financial relations with global elites.

    “I am convinced that the DOJ ignored evidence found in the U.S. Treasury Department’s Epstein file, a binder that contains extensive details on the mountains of cash Epstein received from prominent businessmen that Epstein used to finance his criminal network,” Wyden writes in the letter.

    The Treasury Department has this information because that’s where banks file suspicious activity reports, or SARS. Wyden’s letter says his staff has documented that Epstein-related filings by banks contain “information on more than 4,725 wire transfers involving Epstein’s accounts, all of which merit further investigation.”

    Wyden’s letter seeks to demonstrate what the Trump administration is not doing to examine Epstein’s financial relations with the rich and powerful….

    Wyden’s move here is in some ways a trolling exercise, since DOJ won’t act on it. But such trolling by lawmakers can be constructive if it communicates new information to the public or highlights the failure of others in power to exercise oversight and impose accountability. Wyden’s letter does both.

    Read more at TNR.

    Immigration News

    I want to recommend a powerful article by Stephen W. Thrasher that was published at Literary Hub: What ICE’s Assault on Ventura County, California Means for the Rest of America. The piece is very long, so I can’t really summarize it with a few quoted paragraphs. I hope you’ll go read the whole thing.

    “Mom is gone. They took her away.”

    These are the words of an 8-year-old Mexican-American girl I will call Maria, in my hometown of Oxnard, California. She spoke them to her summer school teachers this past week, one of whom is a friend of mine.

    Maria’s mother was disappeared by ICE, the worst fear for many families in Ventura County, which emerged on the world stage recently as an ICE raid on the Glass House cannabis farm in Camarillo resulted in the death of farmer Jaime Alanís, the kidnapping of California State University Channel Island professor Jonathan Caravello, and the disappearance and presumed deportation of at least 200 farmers.

    Fortunately for Maria, her two tias picked her up the day her mom was kidnapped, and “they took me to Toppers, and I got to eat the ice cream cookie!” Her teacher—I’ll call her Miss Garvin—told me how Maria had never had the ice cream cookie at Toppers before, and that she was trying to hold onto this treat. It seemed as if the adults in Maria’s life were letting her have anything special to distract her—because they did not know when, or even if, she was going to see her mother again.

    Miss Garvin told me that “it was a shitshow of a day” as she kept Maria in her line of vision throughout the breakfast and lunch periods.

    “It broke my heart,” she told me, to see this normally vivacious girl sitting shell shocked and mute around her friends.

    Like Maria, I hail from Ventura County, and am a product of its Title 1 schools. From six to nine years old, I was bused through Oxnard’s bountiful agricultural fields and (literally) across the railroad tracks to the La Colonia neighborhood, where Ramona School educated students like me pretty well despite how economically neglected we were. (I still remember how few streetlights there were when we were bused before dawn, and that there were chickens running through the pot-holed streets just outside our school’s windows).

    A bit more:

    Like Maria, my biological mother disappeared when I was about her age, though not because she was kidnapped. (She just disappeared for three years while no one, including the private detective my dad and stepmother hired, could find any trace of her beyond an abandoned car.) Like Maria, my survival depended on the care of an Oxnard teacher like Miss Garvin.

    Like Maria, I am also a product of Ventura County’s fields, which gave me a place to play, taught me about labor politics, employed the vast majority of my classmates’ parents, and fed me.

    But you, wherever you are reading this, you are likely a product of Ventura County’s fields, too—especially if you’ve ever eaten a strawberry. Strawberries are harvested with backbreaking work usually done by undocumented migrant farmers. Oxnard is the largest producer of strawberries in California and is known as the “strawberry capital of the world.” Our 93,000 acres of farmland provides California, the United States, and even other countries not just various berries but avocados, mushrooms, corn, citrus, and even marijuana.

    And you are also a product of Ventura County because the Oxnard plain is a hot bed of radical politics. Historically, Ventura County has played a pivotal role in the evolution of labor organizing, as Cesar Chavez lived there for a time and had a strong base of operations during the rise of United Farm Workers.

    Just as importantly, Ventura County is playing a crucial role in the attempt to stop fascism right now, for the good people of Ventura, Camarillo, and Oxnard are not taking ICE raids without a fight. Since Trump came back into office, groups like VC Defensa and the 805 Immigration Coalition have been training volunteers to patrol for ICE agents. And when they’re spotted, a call goes out for community members to show up—and people from all walks of life (students, citizens, senior citizens) do.

    That’s what happened on July 11: a scout patrol spotted ICE agents and tipped off hundreds of people who showed up at the Glass House Farm to bear witness to the ICE raid.

    Scene from Glass House raid in Ventural Country, CA

    During that raid, a man was chased off a rooftop to his by masked ICE agents. An activist professor from Cal State Jonathan Caravello was also arrested and jailed after he tried to help a man escape from a tear gas cannister under his wheelchair. Thrasher describes the state of terror that immigrants face in Ventura county. He writes:

    If Ventura County falls, we are all going to fall. And the way people there have been treated as threats for interfering with the duties of police—a criminal charge I briefly faced as a professor under similar circumstances as the CSUCI professor—reveal the terror hundreds of millions could face if ICE does, in fact, get a six-fold increase in funding and becomes a bigger internal force than most countries’ militaries….

    Even without the threat of ICE, farming has long been identified as one of the most dangerous jobs in America. Given that “more people die while farming than while serving as police officers, firefighters or other emergency responders,” the idea that ICE officers fear for their lives while approaching farmers is absurd.

    But the terror of ICE has pushed immigrant families in Ventura County to their deaths in ways fast and slow.

    Immigration expert Jeff Crisp at The New York Times (gift link): Trump Is Building a Machine to Disappear People.

    In May, the United States flew a group of eight migrants to Djibouti, a small state in the Horn of Africa. For weeks, the men — who are from Cuba, Laos, Mexico, Myanmar, Vietnam and South Sudan — were detained in a converted shipping container on a U.S. military base. More than a month later, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the men, who had all been convicted of serious crimes, could be transferred to their final destination: South Sudan, a country on the brink of famine and civil war. Tom Homan, the border czar, acknowledged that he didn’t know what happened to them once they were released from U.S. custody. “As far as we’re concerned,” he said, “they’re free.”

    Deporting foreign nationals to countries other than their homeland has quickly become a centerpiece of the Trump administration’s immigration policy. Thousands of people have been sent to countries in the Western Hemisphere, including Costa Rica, El Salvador, Mexico and Panama. At a recent summit of West African leaders, President Trump pressed them to admit deportees from the United States, reportedly emphasizing that assisting in migration was essential to improving commercial ties with the United States. All told, administration officials have reached out to dozens of states to try to strike deals to accept deportees. The administration is making progress: Last week, it sent five men to the tiny, landlocked country of Eswatini in southern Africa after their home countries allegedly “refused to take them back,” according to an assistant homeland security secretary, Tricia McLaughlin. The terms of the deal were not disclosed.

    In some ways, this is nothing new. It has become increasingly common for the world’s most prosperous countries to relocate immigrants, asylum seekers and refugees to places with which they have little or no prior connection. Previous U.S. administrations from both parties have sought third-country detentions as easy fixes. In the 1990s, Presidents George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton both sent thousands of Haitian refugees to detention camps in Guantánamo Bay before forcibly repatriating most of them to Haiti.

    What is new about the Trump administration’s deportation efforts, unlike previous European or even past U.S. attempts, is their breadth and scale, effectively transforming migrant expulsions into a tool for international leverage. By deporting foreign nationals to often unstable third countries, the Trump administration is not only creating a novel class of exiles with little hope of returning to either the United States or their country of origin, but also explicitly using these vulnerable populations as bargaining chips in a wider strategy of diplomatic and geopolitical deal making.

    This strategy marks a significant evolution in a practice that has been gaining traction throughout the developed world. In the early 2000s, Australia devised the so-called Pacific Solution, an arrangement that diverted asylum seekers arriving by boat or intercepted at sea to holding centers in the island states of Nauru and Papua New Guinea in exchange for benefits, including development aid and financial support. In 2016, amid what was then the largest displacement of people in Europe since World War II, the European Union struck a deal that allowed it to send migrants arriving in Greece from Turkey through irregular means back to Turkey — to the tune of six billion euros.

    Use the gift link to read the rest if you’re interested.

    The Washington Post (gift link): U.S. deportees, freed from Salvadoran prison, describe ‘horror movie.’

    Julio González Jr. had agreed to be deported to Venezuela. When the 36-year-old office cleaner and house painter boarded the flight in Texas in March, he assumed it would take him back to his home country.

    Instead, the plane landed in El Salvador.

    “The horror movie started there,” González said Tuesday.

    When the shackled men refused to get off the plane, González and two other detainees told The Washington Post that they were yanked by their feet, beaten and shoved off board as the plane’s crew began to cry. Dozens of migrants were forced onto a bus and driven to a massive gray complex. They were ordered to kneel there with their foreheads pressed against the ground as guards pointed guns directly at them.

    “Welcome to El Salvador, you sons of b—–s,”a hooded figure told them, González recalled. They had arrived at El Salvador’s Terrorism Confinement Center, known as CECOT. The United States has paid the Salvadoran government of President Nayib Bukele $6 million to hold hundreds of migrants rounded up in President Donald Trump’s mass removals — many without ties to El Salvador, many without criminal charges — at the world’s largest prison.

    In the four months they spent there, the detainees said, they were beaten repeatedly with wooden bats. González was robbed of thousands of dollars, he said, and denied access to lawyers or a chance to call his family. Joen Suárez, 23, was taken several times to a dark room known as La Isla — or “the island” — and beaten, kicked and insulted. Angel Blanco Marin, 22, said he was hit so hard he lost half of a molar. He asked for painkillers and medical attention but was given none for more than a month.

    The three men returned to their family’s homes in Venezuela this week, among the 252 Venezuelans released from CECOT and taken to the South American country in a deal between the U.S. and Venezuelan governments. They arrived on two flights in exchange for the release of 10 American citizens and permanent U.S. residents imprisoned in Venezuela.

    Again, use the gift link if you want to read the rest.

    I’ll end there, and post a few more stories in the comment thread. What else is happening? Please feel free to share.

    #Deportation #DonaldTrump #GhislaineMaxwell #GlassHouseRaid #HouseSpeakerMikeJohnson #ICE #immigration #JeffreyEpstein #PresidentBarackObama #SenRonWyden #TulsiGabbard #VenturaCountyCA

    #deportation #donaldtrump #ghislainemaxwell #glasshouseraid #housespeakermikejohnson #ice
11. 

    Sky Dancing @[email protected] · 2025-07-23 · 16:50 UTC

    Wednesday Reads: The Jeffrey Epstein Scandal and Immigration Horrors

    Good Morning!!

    Trump and Epstein ogle young women at a Mar-a-Lago party.

    The Epstein story is still leading the news as Trump continues to panic and try desperately to distract from the scandal.

    Yesterday, in a bizarre and incoherent oval office rant, he actually accused former president Barack Obama of committing treason by ordering an investigation of Russia’s interference in the 2016 election.

    Trump doesn’t understand the concept of treason, which is defined in the Constitution as follows:

    Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.

    But for malignant narcissist Trump, treason means any fantasized attack on him personally. ABC News: Trump accuses Obama of ‘treason’ in the Oval Office.

    Days after President Donald Trump posted an AI-generated fake video showing former President Barack Obama’s arrest on his social media platform, the current president pushed conspiracy theories about Obama in the Oval Office on Tuesday, accusing him of treason without providing evidence regarding the 2016 presidential election.

    “They tried to rig the election, and they got caught. And there should be very severe consequences for that,” Trump told reporters on Tuesday.

    Trump’s comments come after Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard submitted a criminal referral to the Department of Justice threatening the Obama administration.

    NBC News: Obama pushes back on Trump’s ‘outrageous’ and ‘bizarre’ treason claim.

    Former President Barack Obama’s office issued a rare rebuke of President Donald Trump on Tuesday after the president accused his predecessor of having committed “treason” and rigging the 2016 and 2020 elections.

    “Out of respect for the office of the presidency, our office does not normally dignify the constant nonsense and misinformation flowing out of this White House with a response,” Obama spokesperson Patrick Rodenbush said. “But these claims are outrageous enough to merit one. These bizarre allegations are ridiculous and a weak attempt at distraction.”

    When reporters on Tuesday asked Trump about the late convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, he pivoted to what he called Obama’s “criminality.”

    “After what they did to me — and whether it’s right or wrong, it’s time to go after people. Obama’s been caught directly,” Trump told reporters. “What they did in 2016 and 2020 is very criminal. It’s criminal at the highest level. So that’s really the things you should be talking about.”

    “Look, he’s guilty. It’s not a question,” Trump added. “This was treason. This was every word you can think of. They tried to steal the election. They tried to obfuscate the election.”

    Imagine if any other president had said something like this. But Trump gets away with it.

    Trump was referring to claims made by National Intelligence Director Tulsi Gabbard and CIA Director John Ratcliffe in social media posts and television appearances that they had found Obama administration officials manipulated intelligence and conspired to undermine the legitimacy of Trump’s electoral victory in 2016.

    Gabbard posted on social media on Friday that she was making a criminal referral to the Justice Department.

    At an event with congressional Republicans later Tuesday, Trump praised Gabbard and again accused Obama of being part of an effort to rig the elections. “These are vicious, horrible people,” he said of the former president and others.

    Trump sits next to Epstein with two Don Jr. and Ivanka

    Of course the Supreme Court claims the Constitution makes presidents immune from prosecution for official acts. But Trump is obviously freaking out about what releasing the Epstein files would reveal about him and desperately lashing out at his political enemies.

    This is analysis by Stephen Collinson at CNN: Trump’s latest bid to end Epstein storm: Weaponizing the federal government.

    Donald Trump’s bid to smother the uproar over accused sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein shows that he’s already achieved one goal his critics most feared from his second presidency.

    The Justice Department and the head of the US intelligence community are now openly operating as fully weaponized tools to pursue the president’s personal political needs in a degradation of a governing system meant to be an antidote to king-like patronage.

    This new dynamic underpinned a wild Oval Office press appearance by Trump on Tuesday, his latest attempt to put out the Epstein fire that had only the now-familiar effect of feeding the flames.

    The extent of the president’s capture of two key agencies that are vital to keeping Americans safe was revealed when a reporter asked a question about his administration’s refusal to open all files related to the Epstein case.

    The president pivoted to a tirade against Barack Obama, accusing the former president of staging a treasonous coup against him — basing his assault on a convenient and misleading memo about Russia’s 2016 election meddling that was released last week by Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard.

    The Justice Department has also been activated, yet again, to give Trump cover.

    Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche announced Tuesday that he will take the highly unusual move of meeting with Ghislaine Maxwell — who was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison for carrying out a yearslong scheme with Epstein to groom and sexually abuse underage girls — to ask what she knows but hasn’t so far told. Epstein died in jail while awaiting trial on sex trafficking charges.

    “I don’t know anything about it,” Trump told reporters in the Oval Office Tuesday.

    This seems a stretch, since Blanche is Trump’s former personal lawyer and plans to speak with a prisoner who has a clear incentive to offer testimony that could help a president who has the power to let her out of prison.

    Read the rest at CNN.

    Meanwhile, Trump sycophant House speaker Mike Johnson took action by cancelling the rest of the House session. Paul Waldman at MSNBC: The Epstein fallout literally shut down the House early for the summer.

    It’s been a week and a half since President Donald Trump complained on Truth Social that his many, many accomplishments were being overshadowed, “all over a guy who never dies, Jeffrey Epstein.” There is a kind of truth in Trump’s lament: Six years after his death in a Manhattan jail cell, Epstein lives on — and he has Republicans in something approaching panic. It’s gotten so bad that House Republicans apparently decided to shut the chamber down early before leaving town.

    Things fell apart for the GOP in the House Rules Committee, which determines which legislation reaches the House floor. Knowing how much GOP leaders would like this issue to just go away, Democrats attempted to force the House to vote on releasing all the information the government has on Epstein. “To avoid embarrassing votes on Epstein,” NBC News reported, “Republicans decided to recess the committee and not attempt to pass a rule for bills this week. Without a rule, Republicans would be left with nothing to vote on after Wednesday.” Instead, House Speaker Mike Johnson, R-La., began the chamber’s five-week summer recess early, apparently in hopes that by the time the members return in the fall, the affair will all have blown over.

    The whole episode recalls the famous line from “All the President’s Men”: “The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of control.”

    Jeffrey Epstein at Trump’s and Marla Maples’ wedding.

    Waldman notes that most Republicans don’t buy all the conspiracy theories cooked up by their base, but the Epstein conspiracy theories are base in reality.

    …[U]nfortunately for the president and his party, the public interest and the political debate around Epstein concerns real life, including his relationship with Trump. Epstein really was a fabulously wealthy and well-connected pedophile and sex trafficker. He really did die in jail, awaiting trial on sex trafficking and conspiracy charges. Both Trump and Vice President JD Vance really did encourage speculation that Epstein did not commit suicide. There really are a huge number of documents from the government’s investigation of Epstein that have not been made public.

    And before the pair had a “falling-out” (in the president’s words) in the mid-2000s, Epstein really was good friends with Donald Trump. “I’ve known Jeff for 15 years. Terrific guy,” Trump said in 2002. “He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.”

    After reiterating that Epstein’s death was a suicide and the case was closed, the administration faced a revolt from right-wing influencers who had been telling their audiences for years that the new Trump administration would blow the lid off everything Epstein was involved in. Then Trump begged people to talk about something, anything else, though his pleadings are falling on deaf ears. And on Tuesday, Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche announced that — at Attorney General Pam Bondi’s request — he intends to talk to Ghislaine Maxwell, currently serving a 20-year sentence for conspiring to aid Epstein in sex trafficking. The idea that Bondi and Blanche — both Trump loyalists who previously served among the president’s personal lawyers — are suddenly interested in Maxwell for solely apolitical reasons strains credulity, to say the least.

    Waldman writes that Republicans are faced with an uprising from the base and Trump’s desire to prevent any further Epstein revelations, and so they decided to get out of town instead of taking a vote on the release of the Epstein files.

    New Epstein Revelations

    CNN’s Andrew Kaczynski and Em Steck: Exclusive: Newly discovered photos and video shed fresh light on Trump’s ties to Jeffrey Epstein.

    Newly uncovered archived video footage and photos reveal fresh details about Donald Trump’s past relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.

    Photos from 1993 confirm for the first time that Epstein attended Trump’s 1993 wedding to Marla Maples. Epstein’s attendance at the ceremony at the Plaza Hotel was not widely known until now.

    In addition, footage from a 1999 Victoria’s Secret fashion event in New York shows Trump and Epstein laughing and chatting together ahead of the runway event. CNN’s KFile uncovered the raw footage during a review of archival video of Trump at events in the 1990s and 2000s. Trump and Epstein appeared together in at least one video among the limited archival footage reviewed.

    The new footage and photos, which have not been widely reported and pre-date any of Epstein’s known legal issues, come amid renewed scrutiny of Trump’s past relationship with Epstein. The Justice Department’s recent decision not to release long-promised files related to Epstein has spurred outrage in some corners of Trump’s MAGA movement, where people developed an expectation for bombshell revelations into Epstein’s alleged co-conspirators.

    In a brief call with CNN on Tuesday, President Trump, asked about the wedding photos, responded, “You’ve got to be kidding me,” before repeatedly calling CNN “fake news” and hanging up.

    In a statement to CNN, White House Communications Director Steven Cheung said, “These are nothing more than out-of-context frame grabs of innocuous videos and pictures of widely attended events to disgustingly infer something nefarious.

    “The fact is that the President kicked him out of his club for being a creep. This is nothing more than a continuation of the fake news stories concocted by the Democrats and the liberal media.”

    Read the rest at watch videos at CNN.

    Greg Sargent at The New Republic: Trump’s Epstein Fiasco Takes Darker Turn as Dem Senator Drops New Bomb.

    A few days ago, as the Jeffrey Epstein scandal gripped Washington, Senator Ron Wyden offered a striking revelation in an interview with The New York Times. The Oregon Democrat said that his investigators had discovered that four big banks had flagged to the Treasury Department $1.5 billion in potentially suspicious money transfers involving Epstein, much of which appeared to be related to his massive sex-trafficking network.

    Trump with Jeffrey Epstein at Victoria’s Secret event in 1999.

    The revelation—which emerged via Wyden’s work as ranking Democrat on the Finance Committee—ratified widespread suspicions that there is still much we don’t know about Epstein’s relations with some of the most powerful and wealthy elites in the world in the lead-up to his 2019 arrest on sex-trafficking charges.

    Now Wyden is ratcheting things up once again. Wyden’s office just sent a new letter to Attorney General Pam Bondi—which The New Republic obtained—suggesting seven potent lines of inquiry that the Justice Department could follow, right now, to dig more deeply into Epstein’s web of financial relations with global elites.

    “I am convinced that the DOJ ignored evidence found in the U.S. Treasury Department’s Epstein file, a binder that contains extensive details on the mountains of cash Epstein received from prominent businessmen that Epstein used to finance his criminal network,” Wyden writes in the letter.

    The Treasury Department has this information because that’s where banks file suspicious activity reports, or SARS. Wyden’s letter says his staff has documented that Epstein-related filings by banks contain “information on more than 4,725 wire transfers involving Epstein’s accounts, all of which merit further investigation.”

    Wyden’s letter seeks to demonstrate what the Trump administration is not doing to examine Epstein’s financial relations with the rich and powerful….

    Wyden’s move here is in some ways a trolling exercise, since DOJ won’t act on it. But such trolling by lawmakers can be constructive if it communicates new information to the public or highlights the failure of others in power to exercise oversight and impose accountability. Wyden’s letter does both.

    Read more at TNR.

    Immigration News

    I want to recommend a powerful article by Stephen W. Thrasher that was published at Literary Hub: What ICE’s Assault on Ventura County, California Means for the Rest of America. The piece is very long, so I can’t really summarize it with a few quoted paragraphs. I hope you’ll go read the whole thing.

    “Mom is gone. They took her away.”

    These are the words of an 8-year-old Mexican-American girl I will call Maria, in my hometown of Oxnard, California. She spoke them to her summer school teachers this past week, one of whom is a friend of mine.

    Maria’s mother was disappeared by ICE, the worst fear for many families in Ventura County, which emerged on the world stage recently as an ICE raid on the Glass House cannabis farm in Camarillo resulted in the death of farmer Jaime Alanís, the kidnapping of California State University Channel Island professor Jonathan Caravello, and the disappearance and presumed deportation of at least 200 farmers.

    Fortunately for Maria, her two tias picked her up the day her mom was kidnapped, and “they took me to Toppers, and I got to eat the ice cream cookie!” Her teacher—I’ll call her Miss Garvin—told me how Maria had never had the ice cream cookie at Toppers before, and that she was trying to hold onto this treat. It seemed as if the adults in Maria’s life were letting her have anything special to distract her—because they did not know when, or even if, she was going to see her mother again.

    Miss Garvin told me that “it was a shitshow of a day” as she kept Maria in her line of vision throughout the breakfast and lunch periods.

    “It broke my heart,” she told me, to see this normally vivacious girl sitting shell shocked and mute around her friends.

    Like Maria, I hail from Ventura County, and am a product of its Title 1 schools. From six to nine years old, I was bused through Oxnard’s bountiful agricultural fields and (literally) across the railroad tracks to the La Colonia neighborhood, where Ramona School educated students like me pretty well despite how economically neglected we were. (I still remember how few streetlights there were when we were bused before dawn, and that there were chickens running through the pot-holed streets just outside our school’s windows).

    A bit more:

    Like Maria, my biological mother disappeared when I was about her age, though not because she was kidnapped. (She just disappeared for three years while no one, including the private detective my dad and stepmother hired, could find any trace of her beyond an abandoned car.) Like Maria, my survival depended on the care of an Oxnard teacher like Miss Garvin.

    Like Maria, I am also a product of Ventura County’s fields, which gave me a place to play, taught me about labor politics, employed the vast majority of my classmates’ parents, and fed me.

    But you, wherever you are reading this, you are likely a product of Ventura County’s fields, too—especially if you’ve ever eaten a strawberry. Strawberries are harvested with backbreaking work usually done by undocumented migrant farmers. Oxnard is the largest producer of strawberries in California and is known as the “strawberry capital of the world.” Our 93,000 acres of farmland provides California, the United States, and even other countries not just various berries but avocados, mushrooms, corn, citrus, and even marijuana.

    And you are also a product of Ventura County because the Oxnard plain is a hot bed of radical politics. Historically, Ventura County has played a pivotal role in the evolution of labor organizing, as Cesar Chavez lived there for a time and had a strong base of operations during the rise of United Farm Workers.

    Just as importantly, Ventura County is playing a crucial role in the attempt to stop fascism right now, for the good people of Ventura, Camarillo, and Oxnard are not taking ICE raids without a fight. Since Trump came back into office, groups like VC Defensa and the 805 Immigration Coalition have been training volunteers to patrol for ICE agents. And when they’re spotted, a call goes out for community members to show up—and people from all walks of life (students, citizens, senior citizens) do.

    That’s what happened on July 11: a scout patrol spotted ICE agents and tipped off hundreds of people who showed up at the Glass House Farm to bear witness to the ICE raid.

    Scene from Glass House raid in Ventural Country, CA

    During that raid, a man was chased off a rooftop to his by masked ICE agents. An activist professor from Cal State Jonathan Caravello was also arrested and jailed after he tried to help a man escape from a tear gas cannister under his wheelchair. Thrasher describes the state of terror that immigrants face in Ventura county. He writes:

    If Ventura County falls, we are all going to fall. And the way people there have been treated as threats for interfering with the duties of police—a criminal charge I briefly faced as a professor under similar circumstances as the CSUCI professor—reveal the terror hundreds of millions could face if ICE does, in fact, get a six-fold increase in funding and becomes a bigger internal force than most countries’ militaries….

    Even without the threat of ICE, farming has long been identified as one of the most dangerous jobs in America. Given that “more people die while farming than while serving as police officers, firefighters or other emergency responders,” the idea that ICE officers fear for their lives while approaching farmers is absurd.

    But the terror of ICE has pushed immigrant families in Ventura County to their deaths in ways fast and slow.

    Immigration expert Jeff Crisp at The New York Times (gift link): Trump Is Building a Machine to Disappear People.

    In May, the United States flew a group of eight migrants to Djibouti, a small state in the Horn of Africa. For weeks, the men — who are from Cuba, Laos, Mexico, Myanmar, Vietnam and South Sudan — were detained in a converted shipping container on a U.S. military base. More than a month later, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the men, who had all been convicted of serious crimes, could be transferred to their final destination: South Sudan, a country on the brink of famine and civil war. Tom Homan, the border czar, acknowledged that he didn’t know what happened to them once they were released from U.S. custody. “As far as we’re concerned,” he said, “they’re free.”

    Deporting foreign nationals to countries other than their homeland has quickly become a centerpiece of the Trump administration’s immigration policy. Thousands of people have been sent to countries in the Western Hemisphere, including Costa Rica, El Salvador, Mexico and Panama. At a recent summit of West African leaders, President Trump pressed them to admit deportees from the United States, reportedly emphasizing that assisting in migration was essential to improving commercial ties with the United States. All told, administration officials have reached out to dozens of states to try to strike deals to accept deportees. The administration is making progress: Last week, it sent five men to the tiny, landlocked country of Eswatini in southern Africa after their home countries allegedly “refused to take them back,” according to an assistant homeland security secretary, Tricia McLaughlin. The terms of the deal were not disclosed.

    In some ways, this is nothing new. It has become increasingly common for the world’s most prosperous countries to relocate immigrants, asylum seekers and refugees to places with which they have little or no prior connection. Previous U.S. administrations from both parties have sought third-country detentions as easy fixes. In the 1990s, Presidents George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton both sent thousands of Haitian refugees to detention camps in Guantánamo Bay before forcibly repatriating most of them to Haiti.

    What is new about the Trump administration’s deportation efforts, unlike previous European or even past U.S. attempts, is their breadth and scale, effectively transforming migrant expulsions into a tool for international leverage. By deporting foreign nationals to often unstable third countries, the Trump administration is not only creating a novel class of exiles with little hope of returning to either the United States or their country of origin, but also explicitly using these vulnerable populations as bargaining chips in a wider strategy of diplomatic and geopolitical deal making.

    This strategy marks a significant evolution in a practice that has been gaining traction throughout the developed world. In the early 2000s, Australia devised the so-called Pacific Solution, an arrangement that diverted asylum seekers arriving by boat or intercepted at sea to holding centers in the island states of Nauru and Papua New Guinea in exchange for benefits, including development aid and financial support. In 2016, amid what was then the largest displacement of people in Europe since World War II, the European Union struck a deal that allowed it to send migrants arriving in Greece from Turkey through irregular means back to Turkey — to the tune of six billion euros.

    Use the gift link to read the rest if you’re interested.

    The Washington Post (gift link): U.S. deportees, freed from Salvadoran prison, describe ‘horror movie.’

    Julio González Jr. had agreed to be deported to Venezuela. When the 36-year-old office cleaner and house painter boarded the flight in Texas in March, he assumed it would take him back to his home country.

    Instead, the plane landed in El Salvador.

    “The horror movie started there,” González said Tuesday.

    When the shackled men refused to get off the plane, González and two other detainees told The Washington Post that they were yanked by their feet, beaten and shoved off board as the plane’s crew began to cry. Dozens of migrants were forced onto a bus and driven to a massive gray complex. They were ordered to kneel there with their foreheads pressed against the ground as guards pointed guns directly at them.

    “Welcome to El Salvador, you sons of b—–s,”a hooded figure told them, González recalled. They had arrived at El Salvador’s Terrorism Confinement Center, known as CECOT. The United States has paid the Salvadoran government of President Nayib Bukele $6 million to hold hundreds of migrants rounded up in President Donald Trump’s mass removals — many without ties to El Salvador, many without criminal charges — at the world’s largest prison.

    In the four months they spent there, the detainees said, they were beaten repeatedly with wooden bats. González was robbed of thousands of dollars, he said, and denied access to lawyers or a chance to call his family. Joen Suárez, 23, was taken several times to a dark room known as La Isla — or “the island” — and beaten, kicked and insulted. Angel Blanco Marin, 22, said he was hit so hard he lost half of a molar. He asked for painkillers and medical attention but was given none for more than a month.

    The three men returned to their family’s homes in Venezuela this week, among the 252 Venezuelans released from CECOT and taken to the South American country in a deal between the U.S. and Venezuelan governments. They arrived on two flights in exchange for the release of 10 American citizens and permanent U.S. residents imprisoned in Venezuela.

    Again, use the gift link if you want to read the rest.

    I’ll end there, and post a few more stories in the comment thread. What else is happening? Please feel free to share.

    #Deportation #DonaldTrump #GhislaineMaxwell #GlassHouseRaid #HouseSpeakerMikeJohnson #ICE #immigration #JeffreyEpstein #PresidentBarackObama #SenRonWyden #TulsiGabbard #VenturaCountyCA

    #deportation #donaldtrump #ghislainemaxwell #glasshouseraid #housespeakermikejohnson #ice
12. 

    Sky Dancing @[email protected] · 2025-07-23 · 16:50 UTC

    Wednesday Reads: The Jeffrey Epstein Scandal and Immigration Horrors

    Good Morning!!

    Trump and Epstein ogle young women at a Mar-a-Lago party.

    The Epstein story is still leading the news as Trump continues to panic and try desperately to distract from the scandal.

    Yesterday, in a bizarre and incoherent oval office rant, he actually accused former president Barack Obama of committing treason by ordering an investigation of Russia’s interference in the 2016 election.

    Trump doesn’t understand the concept of treason, which is defined in the Constitution as follows:

    Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.

    But for malignant narcissist Trump, treason means any fantasized attack on him personally. ABC News: Trump accuses Obama of ‘treason’ in the Oval Office.

    Days after President Donald Trump posted an AI-generated fake video showing former President Barack Obama’s arrest on his social media platform, the current president pushed conspiracy theories about Obama in the Oval Office on Tuesday, accusing him of treason without providing evidence regarding the 2016 presidential election.

    “They tried to rig the election, and they got caught. And there should be very severe consequences for that,” Trump told reporters on Tuesday.

    Trump’s comments come after Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard submitted a criminal referral to the Department of Justice threatening the Obama administration.

    NBC News: Obama pushes back on Trump’s ‘outrageous’ and ‘bizarre’ treason claim.

    Former President Barack Obama’s office issued a rare rebuke of President Donald Trump on Tuesday after the president accused his predecessor of having committed “treason” and rigging the 2016 and 2020 elections.

    “Out of respect for the office of the presidency, our office does not normally dignify the constant nonsense and misinformation flowing out of this White House with a response,” Obama spokesperson Patrick Rodenbush said. “But these claims are outrageous enough to merit one. These bizarre allegations are ridiculous and a weak attempt at distraction.”

    When reporters on Tuesday asked Trump about the late convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, he pivoted to what he called Obama’s “criminality.”

    “After what they did to me — and whether it’s right or wrong, it’s time to go after people. Obama’s been caught directly,” Trump told reporters. “What they did in 2016 and 2020 is very criminal. It’s criminal at the highest level. So that’s really the things you should be talking about.”

    “Look, he’s guilty. It’s not a question,” Trump added. “This was treason. This was every word you can think of. They tried to steal the election. They tried to obfuscate the election.”

    Imagine if any other president had said something like this. But Trump gets away with it.

    Trump was referring to claims made by National Intelligence Director Tulsi Gabbard and CIA Director John Ratcliffe in social media posts and television appearances that they had found Obama administration officials manipulated intelligence and conspired to undermine the legitimacy of Trump’s electoral victory in 2016.

    Gabbard posted on social media on Friday that she was making a criminal referral to the Justice Department.

    At an event with congressional Republicans later Tuesday, Trump praised Gabbard and again accused Obama of being part of an effort to rig the elections. “These are vicious, horrible people,” he said of the former president and others.

    Trump sits next to Epstein with two Don Jr. and Ivanka

    Of course the Supreme Court claims the Constitution makes presidents immune from prosecution for official acts. But Trump is obviously freaking out about what releasing the Epstein files would reveal about him and desperately lashing out at his political enemies.

    This is analysis by Stephen Collinson at CNN: Trump’s latest bid to end Epstein storm: Weaponizing the federal government.

    Donald Trump’s bid to smother the uproar over accused sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein shows that he’s already achieved one goal his critics most feared from his second presidency.

    The Justice Department and the head of the US intelligence community are now openly operating as fully weaponized tools to pursue the president’s personal political needs in a degradation of a governing system meant to be an antidote to king-like patronage.

    This new dynamic underpinned a wild Oval Office press appearance by Trump on Tuesday, his latest attempt to put out the Epstein fire that had only the now-familiar effect of feeding the flames.

    The extent of the president’s capture of two key agencies that are vital to keeping Americans safe was revealed when a reporter asked a question about his administration’s refusal to open all files related to the Epstein case.

    The president pivoted to a tirade against Barack Obama, accusing the former president of staging a treasonous coup against him — basing his assault on a convenient and misleading memo about Russia’s 2016 election meddling that was released last week by Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard.

    The Justice Department has also been activated, yet again, to give Trump cover.

    Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche announced Tuesday that he will take the highly unusual move of meeting with Ghislaine Maxwell — who was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison for carrying out a yearslong scheme with Epstein to groom and sexually abuse underage girls — to ask what she knows but hasn’t so far told. Epstein died in jail while awaiting trial on sex trafficking charges.

    “I don’t know anything about it,” Trump told reporters in the Oval Office Tuesday.

    This seems a stretch, since Blanche is Trump’s former personal lawyer and plans to speak with a prisoner who has a clear incentive to offer testimony that could help a president who has the power to let her out of prison.

    Read the rest at CNN.

    Meanwhile, Trump sycophant House speaker Mike Johnson took action by cancelling the rest of the House session. Paul Waldman at MSNBC: The Epstein fallout literally shut down the House early for the summer.

    It’s been a week and a half since President Donald Trump complained on Truth Social that his many, many accomplishments were being overshadowed, “all over a guy who never dies, Jeffrey Epstein.” There is a kind of truth in Trump’s lament: Six years after his death in a Manhattan jail cell, Epstein lives on — and he has Republicans in something approaching panic. It’s gotten so bad that House Republicans apparently decided to shut the chamber down early before leaving town.

    Things fell apart for the GOP in the House Rules Committee, which determines which legislation reaches the House floor. Knowing how much GOP leaders would like this issue to just go away, Democrats attempted to force the House to vote on releasing all the information the government has on Epstein. “To avoid embarrassing votes on Epstein,” NBC News reported, “Republicans decided to recess the committee and not attempt to pass a rule for bills this week. Without a rule, Republicans would be left with nothing to vote on after Wednesday.” Instead, House Speaker Mike Johnson, R-La., began the chamber’s five-week summer recess early, apparently in hopes that by the time the members return in the fall, the affair will all have blown over.

    The whole episode recalls the famous line from “All the President’s Men”: “The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of control.”

    Jeffrey Epstein at Trump’s and Marla Maples’ wedding.

    Waldman notes that most Republicans don’t buy all the conspiracy theories cooked up by their base, but the Epstein conspiracy theories are base in reality.

    …[U]nfortunately for the president and his party, the public interest and the political debate around Epstein concerns real life, including his relationship with Trump. Epstein really was a fabulously wealthy and well-connected pedophile and sex trafficker. He really did die in jail, awaiting trial on sex trafficking and conspiracy charges. Both Trump and Vice President JD Vance really did encourage speculation that Epstein did not commit suicide. There really are a huge number of documents from the government’s investigation of Epstein that have not been made public.

    And before the pair had a “falling-out” (in the president’s words) in the mid-2000s, Epstein really was good friends with Donald Trump. “I’ve known Jeff for 15 years. Terrific guy,” Trump said in 2002. “He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.”

    After reiterating that Epstein’s death was a suicide and the case was closed, the administration faced a revolt from right-wing influencers who had been telling their audiences for years that the new Trump administration would blow the lid off everything Epstein was involved in. Then Trump begged people to talk about something, anything else, though his pleadings are falling on deaf ears. And on Tuesday, Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche announced that — at Attorney General Pam Bondi’s request — he intends to talk to Ghislaine Maxwell, currently serving a 20-year sentence for conspiring to aid Epstein in sex trafficking. The idea that Bondi and Blanche — both Trump loyalists who previously served among the president’s personal lawyers — are suddenly interested in Maxwell for solely apolitical reasons strains credulity, to say the least.

    Waldman writes that Republicans are faced with an uprising from the base and Trump’s desire to prevent any further Epstein revelations, and so they decided to get out of town instead of taking a vote on the release of the Epstein files.

    New Epstein Revelations

    CNN’s Andrew Kaczynski and Em Steck: Exclusive: Newly discovered photos and video shed fresh light on Trump’s ties to Jeffrey Epstein.

    Newly uncovered archived video footage and photos reveal fresh details about Donald Trump’s past relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.

    Photos from 1993 confirm for the first time that Epstein attended Trump’s 1993 wedding to Marla Maples. Epstein’s attendance at the ceremony at the Plaza Hotel was not widely known until now.

    In addition, footage from a 1999 Victoria’s Secret fashion event in New York shows Trump and Epstein laughing and chatting together ahead of the runway event. CNN’s KFile uncovered the raw footage during a review of archival video of Trump at events in the 1990s and 2000s. Trump and Epstein appeared together in at least one video among the limited archival footage reviewed.

    The new footage and photos, which have not been widely reported and pre-date any of Epstein’s known legal issues, come amid renewed scrutiny of Trump’s past relationship with Epstein. The Justice Department’s recent decision not to release long-promised files related to Epstein has spurred outrage in some corners of Trump’s MAGA movement, where people developed an expectation for bombshell revelations into Epstein’s alleged co-conspirators.

    In a brief call with CNN on Tuesday, President Trump, asked about the wedding photos, responded, “You’ve got to be kidding me,” before repeatedly calling CNN “fake news” and hanging up.

    In a statement to CNN, White House Communications Director Steven Cheung said, “These are nothing more than out-of-context frame grabs of innocuous videos and pictures of widely attended events to disgustingly infer something nefarious.

    “The fact is that the President kicked him out of his club for being a creep. This is nothing more than a continuation of the fake news stories concocted by the Democrats and the liberal media.”

    Read the rest at watch videos at CNN.

    Greg Sargent at The New Republic: Trump’s Epstein Fiasco Takes Darker Turn as Dem Senator Drops New Bomb.

    A few days ago, as the Jeffrey Epstein scandal gripped Washington, Senator Ron Wyden offered a striking revelation in an interview with The New York Times. The Oregon Democrat said that his investigators had discovered that four big banks had flagged to the Treasury Department $1.5 billion in potentially suspicious money transfers involving Epstein, much of which appeared to be related to his massive sex-trafficking network.

    Trump with Jeffrey Epstein at Victoria’s Secret event in 1999.

    The revelation—which emerged via Wyden’s work as ranking Democrat on the Finance Committee—ratified widespread suspicions that there is still much we don’t know about Epstein’s relations with some of the most powerful and wealthy elites in the world in the lead-up to his 2019 arrest on sex-trafficking charges.

    Now Wyden is ratcheting things up once again. Wyden’s office just sent a new letter to Attorney General Pam Bondi—which The New Republic obtained—suggesting seven potent lines of inquiry that the Justice Department could follow, right now, to dig more deeply into Epstein’s web of financial relations with global elites.

    “I am convinced that the DOJ ignored evidence found in the U.S. Treasury Department’s Epstein file, a binder that contains extensive details on the mountains of cash Epstein received from prominent businessmen that Epstein used to finance his criminal network,” Wyden writes in the letter.

    The Treasury Department has this information because that’s where banks file suspicious activity reports, or SARS. Wyden’s letter says his staff has documented that Epstein-related filings by banks contain “information on more than 4,725 wire transfers involving Epstein’s accounts, all of which merit further investigation.”

    Wyden’s letter seeks to demonstrate what the Trump administration is not doing to examine Epstein’s financial relations with the rich and powerful….

    Wyden’s move here is in some ways a trolling exercise, since DOJ won’t act on it. But such trolling by lawmakers can be constructive if it communicates new information to the public or highlights the failure of others in power to exercise oversight and impose accountability. Wyden’s letter does both.

    Read more at TNR.

    Immigration News

    I want to recommend a powerful article by Stephen W. Thrasher that was published at Literary Hub: What ICE’s Assault on Ventura County, California Means for the Rest of America. The piece is very long, so I can’t really summarize it with a few quoted paragraphs. I hope you’ll go read the whole thing.

    “Mom is gone. They took her away.”

    These are the words of an 8-year-old Mexican-American girl I will call Maria, in my hometown of Oxnard, California. She spoke them to her summer school teachers this past week, one of whom is a friend of mine.

    Maria’s mother was disappeared by ICE, the worst fear for many families in Ventura County, which emerged on the world stage recently as an ICE raid on the Glass House cannabis farm in Camarillo resulted in the death of farmer Jaime Alanís, the kidnapping of California State University Channel Island professor Jonathan Caravello, and the disappearance and presumed deportation of at least 200 farmers.

    Fortunately for Maria, her two tias picked her up the day her mom was kidnapped, and “they took me to Toppers, and I got to eat the ice cream cookie!” Her teacher—I’ll call her Miss Garvin—told me how Maria had never had the ice cream cookie at Toppers before, and that she was trying to hold onto this treat. It seemed as if the adults in Maria’s life were letting her have anything special to distract her—because they did not know when, or even if, she was going to see her mother again.

    Miss Garvin told me that “it was a shitshow of a day” as she kept Maria in her line of vision throughout the breakfast and lunch periods.

    “It broke my heart,” she told me, to see this normally vivacious girl sitting shell shocked and mute around her friends.

    Like Maria, I hail from Ventura County, and am a product of its Title 1 schools. From six to nine years old, I was bused through Oxnard’s bountiful agricultural fields and (literally) across the railroad tracks to the La Colonia neighborhood, where Ramona School educated students like me pretty well despite how economically neglected we were. (I still remember how few streetlights there were when we were bused before dawn, and that there were chickens running through the pot-holed streets just outside our school’s windows).

    A bit more:

    Like Maria, my biological mother disappeared when I was about her age, though not because she was kidnapped. (She just disappeared for three years while no one, including the private detective my dad and stepmother hired, could find any trace of her beyond an abandoned car.) Like Maria, my survival depended on the care of an Oxnard teacher like Miss Garvin.

    Like Maria, I am also a product of Ventura County’s fields, which gave me a place to play, taught me about labor politics, employed the vast majority of my classmates’ parents, and fed me.

    But you, wherever you are reading this, you are likely a product of Ventura County’s fields, too—especially if you’ve ever eaten a strawberry. Strawberries are harvested with backbreaking work usually done by undocumented migrant farmers. Oxnard is the largest producer of strawberries in California and is known as the “strawberry capital of the world.” Our 93,000 acres of farmland provides California, the United States, and even other countries not just various berries but avocados, mushrooms, corn, citrus, and even marijuana.

    And you are also a product of Ventura County because the Oxnard plain is a hot bed of radical politics. Historically, Ventura County has played a pivotal role in the evolution of labor organizing, as Cesar Chavez lived there for a time and had a strong base of operations during the rise of United Farm Workers.

    Just as importantly, Ventura County is playing a crucial role in the attempt to stop fascism right now, for the good people of Ventura, Camarillo, and Oxnard are not taking ICE raids without a fight. Since Trump came back into office, groups like VC Defensa and the 805 Immigration Coalition have been training volunteers to patrol for ICE agents. And when they’re spotted, a call goes out for community members to show up—and people from all walks of life (students, citizens, senior citizens) do.

    That’s what happened on July 11: a scout patrol spotted ICE agents and tipped off hundreds of people who showed up at the Glass House Farm to bear witness to the ICE raid.

    Scene from Glass House raid in Ventural Country, CA

    During that raid, a man was chased off a rooftop to his by masked ICE agents. An activist professor from Cal State Jonathan Caravello was also arrested and jailed after he tried to help a man escape from a tear gas cannister under his wheelchair. Thrasher describes the state of terror that immigrants face in Ventura county. He writes:

    If Ventura County falls, we are all going to fall. And the way people there have been treated as threats for interfering with the duties of police—a criminal charge I briefly faced as a professor under similar circumstances as the CSUCI professor—reveal the terror hundreds of millions could face if ICE does, in fact, get a six-fold increase in funding and becomes a bigger internal force than most countries’ militaries….

    Even without the threat of ICE, farming has long been identified as one of the most dangerous jobs in America. Given that “more people die while farming than while serving as police officers, firefighters or other emergency responders,” the idea that ICE officers fear for their lives while approaching farmers is absurd.

    But the terror of ICE has pushed immigrant families in Ventura County to their deaths in ways fast and slow.

    Immigration expert Jeff Crisp at The New York Times (gift link): Trump Is Building a Machine to Disappear People.

    In May, the United States flew a group of eight migrants to Djibouti, a small state in the Horn of Africa. For weeks, the men — who are from Cuba, Laos, Mexico, Myanmar, Vietnam and South Sudan — were detained in a converted shipping container on a U.S. military base. More than a month later, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the men, who had all been convicted of serious crimes, could be transferred to their final destination: South Sudan, a country on the brink of famine and civil war. Tom Homan, the border czar, acknowledged that he didn’t know what happened to them once they were released from U.S. custody. “As far as we’re concerned,” he said, “they’re free.”

    Deporting foreign nationals to countries other than their homeland has quickly become a centerpiece of the Trump administration’s immigration policy. Thousands of people have been sent to countries in the Western Hemisphere, including Costa Rica, El Salvador, Mexico and Panama. At a recent summit of West African leaders, President Trump pressed them to admit deportees from the United States, reportedly emphasizing that assisting in migration was essential to improving commercial ties with the United States. All told, administration officials have reached out to dozens of states to try to strike deals to accept deportees. The administration is making progress: Last week, it sent five men to the tiny, landlocked country of Eswatini in southern Africa after their home countries allegedly “refused to take them back,” according to an assistant homeland security secretary, Tricia McLaughlin. The terms of the deal were not disclosed.

    In some ways, this is nothing new. It has become increasingly common for the world’s most prosperous countries to relocate immigrants, asylum seekers and refugees to places with which they have little or no prior connection. Previous U.S. administrations from both parties have sought third-country detentions as easy fixes. In the 1990s, Presidents George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton both sent thousands of Haitian refugees to detention camps in Guantánamo Bay before forcibly repatriating most of them to Haiti.

    What is new about the Trump administration’s deportation efforts, unlike previous European or even past U.S. attempts, is their breadth and scale, effectively transforming migrant expulsions into a tool for international leverage. By deporting foreign nationals to often unstable third countries, the Trump administration is not only creating a novel class of exiles with little hope of returning to either the United States or their country of origin, but also explicitly using these vulnerable populations as bargaining chips in a wider strategy of diplomatic and geopolitical deal making.

    This strategy marks a significant evolution in a practice that has been gaining traction throughout the developed world. In the early 2000s, Australia devised the so-called Pacific Solution, an arrangement that diverted asylum seekers arriving by boat or intercepted at sea to holding centers in the island states of Nauru and Papua New Guinea in exchange for benefits, including development aid and financial support. In 2016, amid what was then the largest displacement of people in Europe since World War II, the European Union struck a deal that allowed it to send migrants arriving in Greece from Turkey through irregular means back to Turkey — to the tune of six billion euros.

    Use the gift link to read the rest if you’re interested.

    The Washington Post (gift link): U.S. deportees, freed from Salvadoran prison, describe ‘horror movie.’

    Julio González Jr. had agreed to be deported to Venezuela. When the 36-year-old office cleaner and house painter boarded the flight in Texas in March, he assumed it would take him back to his home country.

    Instead, the plane landed in El Salvador.

    “The horror movie started there,” González said Tuesday.

    When the shackled men refused to get off the plane, González and two other detainees told The Washington Post that they were yanked by their feet, beaten and shoved off board as the plane’s crew began to cry. Dozens of migrants were forced onto a bus and driven to a massive gray complex. They were ordered to kneel there with their foreheads pressed against the ground as guards pointed guns directly at them.

    “Welcome to El Salvador, you sons of b—–s,”a hooded figure told them, González recalled. They had arrived at El Salvador’s Terrorism Confinement Center, known as CECOT. The United States has paid the Salvadoran government of President Nayib Bukele $6 million to hold hundreds of migrants rounded up in President Donald Trump’s mass removals — many without ties to El Salvador, many without criminal charges — at the world’s largest prison.

    In the four months they spent there, the detainees said, they were beaten repeatedly with wooden bats. González was robbed of thousands of dollars, he said, and denied access to lawyers or a chance to call his family. Joen Suárez, 23, was taken several times to a dark room known as La Isla — or “the island” — and beaten, kicked and insulted. Angel Blanco Marin, 22, said he was hit so hard he lost half of a molar. He asked for painkillers and medical attention but was given none for more than a month.

    The three men returned to their family’s homes in Venezuela this week, among the 252 Venezuelans released from CECOT and taken to the South American country in a deal between the U.S. and Venezuelan governments. They arrived on two flights in exchange for the release of 10 American citizens and permanent U.S. residents imprisoned in Venezuela.

    Again, use the gift link if you want to read the rest.

    I’ll end there, and post a few more stories in the comment thread. What else is happening? Please feel free to share.

    #Deportation #DonaldTrump #GhislaineMaxwell #GlassHouseRaid #HouseSpeakerMikeJohnson #ICE #immigration #JeffreyEpstein #PresidentBarackObama #SenRonWyden #TulsiGabbard #VenturaCountyCA

    #deportation #donaldtrump #ghislainemaxwell #glasshouseraid #housespeakermikejohnson #ice
13. 

    Sky Dancing @[email protected] · 2025-07-23 · 16:50 UTC

    Wednesday Reads: The Jeffrey Epstein Scandal and Immigration Horrors

    Good Morning!!

    Trump and Epstein ogle young women at a Mar-a-Lago party.

    The Epstein story is still leading the news as Trump continues to panic and try desperately to distract from the scandal.

    Yesterday, in a bizarre and incoherent oval office rant, he actually accused former president Barack Obama of committing treason by ordering an investigation of Russia’s interference in the 2016 election.

    Trump doesn’t understand the concept of treason, which is defined in the Constitution as follows:

    Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.

    But for malignant narcissist Trump, treason means any fantasized attack on him personally. ABC News: Trump accuses Obama of ‘treason’ in the Oval Office.

    Days after President Donald Trump posted an AI-generated fake video showing former President Barack Obama’s arrest on his social media platform, the current president pushed conspiracy theories about Obama in the Oval Office on Tuesday, accusing him of treason without providing evidence regarding the 2016 presidential election.

    “They tried to rig the election, and they got caught. And there should be very severe consequences for that,” Trump told reporters on Tuesday.

    Trump’s comments come after Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard submitted a criminal referral to the Department of Justice threatening the Obama administration.

    NBC News: Obama pushes back on Trump’s ‘outrageous’ and ‘bizarre’ treason claim.

    Former President Barack Obama’s office issued a rare rebuke of President Donald Trump on Tuesday after the president accused his predecessor of having committed “treason” and rigging the 2016 and 2020 elections.

    “Out of respect for the office of the presidency, our office does not normally dignify the constant nonsense and misinformation flowing out of this White House with a response,” Obama spokesperson Patrick Rodenbush said. “But these claims are outrageous enough to merit one. These bizarre allegations are ridiculous and a weak attempt at distraction.”

    When reporters on Tuesday asked Trump about the late convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, he pivoted to what he called Obama’s “criminality.”

    “After what they did to me — and whether it’s right or wrong, it’s time to go after people. Obama’s been caught directly,” Trump told reporters. “What they did in 2016 and 2020 is very criminal. It’s criminal at the highest level. So that’s really the things you should be talking about.”

    “Look, he’s guilty. It’s not a question,” Trump added. “This was treason. This was every word you can think of. They tried to steal the election. They tried to obfuscate the election.”

    Imagine if any other president had said something like this. But Trump gets away with it.

    Trump was referring to claims made by National Intelligence Director Tulsi Gabbard and CIA Director John Ratcliffe in social media posts and television appearances that they had found Obama administration officials manipulated intelligence and conspired to undermine the legitimacy of Trump’s electoral victory in 2016.

    Gabbard posted on social media on Friday that she was making a criminal referral to the Justice Department.

    At an event with congressional Republicans later Tuesday, Trump praised Gabbard and again accused Obama of being part of an effort to rig the elections. “These are vicious, horrible people,” he said of the former president and others.

    Trump sits next to Epstein with two Don Jr. and Ivanka

    Of course the Supreme Court claims the Constitution makes presidents immune from prosecution for official acts. But Trump is obviously freaking out about what releasing the Epstein files would reveal about him and desperately lashing out at his political enemies.

    This is analysis by Stephen Collinson at CNN: Trump’s latest bid to end Epstein storm: Weaponizing the federal government.

    Donald Trump’s bid to smother the uproar over accused sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein shows that he’s already achieved one goal his critics most feared from his second presidency.

    The Justice Department and the head of the US intelligence community are now openly operating as fully weaponized tools to pursue the president’s personal political needs in a degradation of a governing system meant to be an antidote to king-like patronage.

    This new dynamic underpinned a wild Oval Office press appearance by Trump on Tuesday, his latest attempt to put out the Epstein fire that had only the now-familiar effect of feeding the flames.

    The extent of the president’s capture of two key agencies that are vital to keeping Americans safe was revealed when a reporter asked a question about his administration’s refusal to open all files related to the Epstein case.

    The president pivoted to a tirade against Barack Obama, accusing the former president of staging a treasonous coup against him — basing his assault on a convenient and misleading memo about Russia’s 2016 election meddling that was released last week by Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard.

    The Justice Department has also been activated, yet again, to give Trump cover.

    Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche announced Tuesday that he will take the highly unusual move of meeting with Ghislaine Maxwell — who was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison for carrying out a yearslong scheme with Epstein to groom and sexually abuse underage girls — to ask what she knows but hasn’t so far told. Epstein died in jail while awaiting trial on sex trafficking charges.

    “I don’t know anything about it,” Trump told reporters in the Oval Office Tuesday.

    This seems a stretch, since Blanche is Trump’s former personal lawyer and plans to speak with a prisoner who has a clear incentive to offer testimony that could help a president who has the power to let her out of prison.

    Read the rest at CNN.

    Meanwhile, Trump sycophant House speaker Mike Johnson took action by cancelling the rest of the House session. Paul Waldman at MSNBC: The Epstein fallout literally shut down the House early for the summer.

    It’s been a week and a half since President Donald Trump complained on Truth Social that his many, many accomplishments were being overshadowed, “all over a guy who never dies, Jeffrey Epstein.” There is a kind of truth in Trump’s lament: Six years after his death in a Manhattan jail cell, Epstein lives on — and he has Republicans in something approaching panic. It’s gotten so bad that House Republicans apparently decided to shut the chamber down early before leaving town.

    Things fell apart for the GOP in the House Rules Committee, which determines which legislation reaches the House floor. Knowing how much GOP leaders would like this issue to just go away, Democrats attempted to force the House to vote on releasing all the information the government has on Epstein. “To avoid embarrassing votes on Epstein,” NBC News reported, “Republicans decided to recess the committee and not attempt to pass a rule for bills this week. Without a rule, Republicans would be left with nothing to vote on after Wednesday.” Instead, House Speaker Mike Johnson, R-La., began the chamber’s five-week summer recess early, apparently in hopes that by the time the members return in the fall, the affair will all have blown over.

    The whole episode recalls the famous line from “All the President’s Men”: “The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of control.”

    Jeffrey Epstein at Trump’s and Marla Maples’ wedding.

    Waldman notes that most Republicans don’t buy all the conspiracy theories cooked up by their base, but the Epstein conspiracy theories are base in reality.

    …[U]nfortunately for the president and his party, the public interest and the political debate around Epstein concerns real life, including his relationship with Trump. Epstein really was a fabulously wealthy and well-connected pedophile and sex trafficker. He really did die in jail, awaiting trial on sex trafficking and conspiracy charges. Both Trump and Vice President JD Vance really did encourage speculation that Epstein did not commit suicide. There really are a huge number of documents from the government’s investigation of Epstein that have not been made public.

    And before the pair had a “falling-out” (in the president’s words) in the mid-2000s, Epstein really was good friends with Donald Trump. “I’ve known Jeff for 15 years. Terrific guy,” Trump said in 2002. “He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.”

    After reiterating that Epstein’s death was a suicide and the case was closed, the administration faced a revolt from right-wing influencers who had been telling their audiences for years that the new Trump administration would blow the lid off everything Epstein was involved in. Then Trump begged people to talk about something, anything else, though his pleadings are falling on deaf ears. And on Tuesday, Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche announced that — at Attorney General Pam Bondi’s request — he intends to talk to Ghislaine Maxwell, currently serving a 20-year sentence for conspiring to aid Epstein in sex trafficking. The idea that Bondi and Blanche — both Trump loyalists who previously served among the president’s personal lawyers — are suddenly interested in Maxwell for solely apolitical reasons strains credulity, to say the least.

    Waldman writes that Republicans are faced with an uprising from the base and Trump’s desire to prevent any further Epstein revelations, and so they decided to get out of town instead of taking a vote on the release of the Epstein files.

    New Epstein Revelations

    CNN’s Andrew Kaczynski and Em Steck: Exclusive: Newly discovered photos and video shed fresh light on Trump’s ties to Jeffrey Epstein.

    Newly uncovered archived video footage and photos reveal fresh details about Donald Trump’s past relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.

    Photos from 1993 confirm for the first time that Epstein attended Trump’s 1993 wedding to Marla Maples. Epstein’s attendance at the ceremony at the Plaza Hotel was not widely known until now.

    In addition, footage from a 1999 Victoria’s Secret fashion event in New York shows Trump and Epstein laughing and chatting together ahead of the runway event. CNN’s KFile uncovered the raw footage during a review of archival video of Trump at events in the 1990s and 2000s. Trump and Epstein appeared together in at least one video among the limited archival footage reviewed.

    The new footage and photos, which have not been widely reported and pre-date any of Epstein’s known legal issues, come amid renewed scrutiny of Trump’s past relationship with Epstein. The Justice Department’s recent decision not to release long-promised files related to Epstein has spurred outrage in some corners of Trump’s MAGA movement, where people developed an expectation for bombshell revelations into Epstein’s alleged co-conspirators.

    In a brief call with CNN on Tuesday, President Trump, asked about the wedding photos, responded, “You’ve got to be kidding me,” before repeatedly calling CNN “fake news” and hanging up.

    In a statement to CNN, White House Communications Director Steven Cheung said, “These are nothing more than out-of-context frame grabs of innocuous videos and pictures of widely attended events to disgustingly infer something nefarious.

    “The fact is that the President kicked him out of his club for being a creep. This is nothing more than a continuation of the fake news stories concocted by the Democrats and the liberal media.”

    Read the rest at watch videos at CNN.

    Greg Sargent at The New Republic: Trump’s Epstein Fiasco Takes Darker Turn as Dem Senator Drops New Bomb.

    A few days ago, as the Jeffrey Epstein scandal gripped Washington, Senator Ron Wyden offered a striking revelation in an interview with The New York Times. The Oregon Democrat said that his investigators had discovered that four big banks had flagged to the Treasury Department $1.5 billion in potentially suspicious money transfers involving Epstein, much of which appeared to be related to his massive sex-trafficking network.

    Trump with Jeffrey Epstein at Victoria’s Secret event in 1999.

    The revelation—which emerged via Wyden’s work as ranking Democrat on the Finance Committee—ratified widespread suspicions that there is still much we don’t know about Epstein’s relations with some of the most powerful and wealthy elites in the world in the lead-up to his 2019 arrest on sex-trafficking charges.

    Now Wyden is ratcheting things up once again. Wyden’s office just sent a new letter to Attorney General Pam Bondi—which The New Republic obtained—suggesting seven potent lines of inquiry that the Justice Department could follow, right now, to dig more deeply into Epstein’s web of financial relations with global elites.

    “I am convinced that the DOJ ignored evidence found in the U.S. Treasury Department’s Epstein file, a binder that contains extensive details on the mountains of cash Epstein received from prominent businessmen that Epstein used to finance his criminal network,” Wyden writes in the letter.

    The Treasury Department has this information because that’s where banks file suspicious activity reports, or SARS. Wyden’s letter says his staff has documented that Epstein-related filings by banks contain “information on more than 4,725 wire transfers involving Epstein’s accounts, all of which merit further investigation.”

    Wyden’s letter seeks to demonstrate what the Trump administration is not doing to examine Epstein’s financial relations with the rich and powerful….

    Wyden’s move here is in some ways a trolling exercise, since DOJ won’t act on it. But such trolling by lawmakers can be constructive if it communicates new information to the public or highlights the failure of others in power to exercise oversight and impose accountability. Wyden’s letter does both.

    Read more at TNR.

    Immigration News

    I want to recommend a powerful article by Stephen W. Thrasher that was published at Literary Hub: What ICE’s Assault on Ventura County, California Means for the Rest of America. The piece is very long, so I can’t really summarize it with a few quoted paragraphs. I hope you’ll go read the whole thing.

    “Mom is gone. They took her away.”

    These are the words of an 8-year-old Mexican-American girl I will call Maria, in my hometown of Oxnard, California. She spoke them to her summer school teachers this past week, one of whom is a friend of mine.

    Maria’s mother was disappeared by ICE, the worst fear for many families in Ventura County, which emerged on the world stage recently as an ICE raid on the Glass House cannabis farm in Camarillo resulted in the death of farmer Jaime Alanís, the kidnapping of California State University Channel Island professor Jonathan Caravello, and the disappearance and presumed deportation of at least 200 farmers.

    Fortunately for Maria, her two tias picked her up the day her mom was kidnapped, and “they took me to Toppers, and I got to eat the ice cream cookie!” Her teacher—I’ll call her Miss Garvin—told me how Maria had never had the ice cream cookie at Toppers before, and that she was trying to hold onto this treat. It seemed as if the adults in Maria’s life were letting her have anything special to distract her—because they did not know when, or even if, she was going to see her mother again.

    Miss Garvin told me that “it was a shitshow of a day” as she kept Maria in her line of vision throughout the breakfast and lunch periods.

    “It broke my heart,” she told me, to see this normally vivacious girl sitting shell shocked and mute around her friends.

    Like Maria, I hail from Ventura County, and am a product of its Title 1 schools. From six to nine years old, I was bused through Oxnard’s bountiful agricultural fields and (literally) across the railroad tracks to the La Colonia neighborhood, where Ramona School educated students like me pretty well despite how economically neglected we were. (I still remember how few streetlights there were when we were bused before dawn, and that there were chickens running through the pot-holed streets just outside our school’s windows).

    A bit more:

    Like Maria, my biological mother disappeared when I was about her age, though not because she was kidnapped. (She just disappeared for three years while no one, including the private detective my dad and stepmother hired, could find any trace of her beyond an abandoned car.) Like Maria, my survival depended on the care of an Oxnard teacher like Miss Garvin.

    Like Maria, I am also a product of Ventura County’s fields, which gave me a place to play, taught me about labor politics, employed the vast majority of my classmates’ parents, and fed me.

    But you, wherever you are reading this, you are likely a product of Ventura County’s fields, too—especially if you’ve ever eaten a strawberry. Strawberries are harvested with backbreaking work usually done by undocumented migrant farmers. Oxnard is the largest producer of strawberries in California and is known as the “strawberry capital of the world.” Our 93,000 acres of farmland provides California, the United States, and even other countries not just various berries but avocados, mushrooms, corn, citrus, and even marijuana.

    And you are also a product of Ventura County because the Oxnard plain is a hot bed of radical politics. Historically, Ventura County has played a pivotal role in the evolution of labor organizing, as Cesar Chavez lived there for a time and had a strong base of operations during the rise of United Farm Workers.

    Just as importantly, Ventura County is playing a crucial role in the attempt to stop fascism right now, for the good people of Ventura, Camarillo, and Oxnard are not taking ICE raids without a fight. Since Trump came back into office, groups like VC Defensa and the 805 Immigration Coalition have been training volunteers to patrol for ICE agents. And when they’re spotted, a call goes out for community members to show up—and people from all walks of life (students, citizens, senior citizens) do.

    That’s what happened on July 11: a scout patrol spotted ICE agents and tipped off hundreds of people who showed up at the Glass House Farm to bear witness to the ICE raid.

    Scene from Glass House raid in Ventural Country, CA

    During that raid, a man was chased off a rooftop to his by masked ICE agents. An activist professor from Cal State Jonathan Caravello was also arrested and jailed after he tried to help a man escape from a tear gas cannister under his wheelchair. Thrasher describes the state of terror that immigrants face in Ventura county. He writes:

    If Ventura County falls, we are all going to fall. And the way people there have been treated as threats for interfering with the duties of police—a criminal charge I briefly faced as a professor under similar circumstances as the CSUCI professor—reveal the terror hundreds of millions could face if ICE does, in fact, get a six-fold increase in funding and becomes a bigger internal force than most countries’ militaries….

    Even without the threat of ICE, farming has long been identified as one of the most dangerous jobs in America. Given that “more people die while farming than while serving as police officers, firefighters or other emergency responders,” the idea that ICE officers fear for their lives while approaching farmers is absurd.

    But the terror of ICE has pushed immigrant families in Ventura County to their deaths in ways fast and slow.

    Immigration expert Jeff Crisp at The New York Times (gift link): Trump Is Building a Machine to Disappear People.

    In May, the United States flew a group of eight migrants to Djibouti, a small state in the Horn of Africa. For weeks, the men — who are from Cuba, Laos, Mexico, Myanmar, Vietnam and South Sudan — were detained in a converted shipping container on a U.S. military base. More than a month later, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the men, who had all been convicted of serious crimes, could be transferred to their final destination: South Sudan, a country on the brink of famine and civil war. Tom Homan, the border czar, acknowledged that he didn’t know what happened to them once they were released from U.S. custody. “As far as we’re concerned,” he said, “they’re free.”

    Deporting foreign nationals to countries other than their homeland has quickly become a centerpiece of the Trump administration’s immigration policy. Thousands of people have been sent to countries in the Western Hemisphere, including Costa Rica, El Salvador, Mexico and Panama. At a recent summit of West African leaders, President Trump pressed them to admit deportees from the United States, reportedly emphasizing that assisting in migration was essential to improving commercial ties with the United States. All told, administration officials have reached out to dozens of states to try to strike deals to accept deportees. The administration is making progress: Last week, it sent five men to the tiny, landlocked country of Eswatini in southern Africa after their home countries allegedly “refused to take them back,” according to an assistant homeland security secretary, Tricia McLaughlin. The terms of the deal were not disclosed.

    In some ways, this is nothing new. It has become increasingly common for the world’s most prosperous countries to relocate immigrants, asylum seekers and refugees to places with which they have little or no prior connection. Previous U.S. administrations from both parties have sought third-country detentions as easy fixes. In the 1990s, Presidents George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton both sent thousands of Haitian refugees to detention camps in Guantánamo Bay before forcibly repatriating most of them to Haiti.

    What is new about the Trump administration’s deportation efforts, unlike previous European or even past U.S. attempts, is their breadth and scale, effectively transforming migrant expulsions into a tool for international leverage. By deporting foreign nationals to often unstable third countries, the Trump administration is not only creating a novel class of exiles with little hope of returning to either the United States or their country of origin, but also explicitly using these vulnerable populations as bargaining chips in a wider strategy of diplomatic and geopolitical deal making.

    This strategy marks a significant evolution in a practice that has been gaining traction throughout the developed world. In the early 2000s, Australia devised the so-called Pacific Solution, an arrangement that diverted asylum seekers arriving by boat or intercepted at sea to holding centers in the island states of Nauru and Papua New Guinea in exchange for benefits, including development aid and financial support. In 2016, amid what was then the largest displacement of people in Europe since World War II, the European Union struck a deal that allowed it to send migrants arriving in Greece from Turkey through irregular means back to Turkey — to the tune of six billion euros.

    Use the gift link to read the rest if you’re interested.

    The Washington Post (gift link): U.S. deportees, freed from Salvadoran prison, describe ‘horror movie.’

    Julio González Jr. had agreed to be deported to Venezuela. When the 36-year-old office cleaner and house painter boarded the flight in Texas in March, he assumed it would take him back to his home country.

    Instead, the plane landed in El Salvador.

    “The horror movie started there,” González said Tuesday.

    When the shackled men refused to get off the plane, González and two other detainees told The Washington Post that they were yanked by their feet, beaten and shoved off board as the plane’s crew began to cry. Dozens of migrants were forced onto a bus and driven to a massive gray complex. They were ordered to kneel there with their foreheads pressed against the ground as guards pointed guns directly at them.

    “Welcome to El Salvador, you sons of b—–s,”a hooded figure told them, González recalled. They had arrived at El Salvador’s Terrorism Confinement Center, known as CECOT. The United States has paid the Salvadoran government of President Nayib Bukele $6 million to hold hundreds of migrants rounded up in President Donald Trump’s mass removals — many without ties to El Salvador, many without criminal charges — at the world’s largest prison.

    In the four months they spent there, the detainees said, they were beaten repeatedly with wooden bats. González was robbed of thousands of dollars, he said, and denied access to lawyers or a chance to call his family. Joen Suárez, 23, was taken several times to a dark room known as La Isla — or “the island” — and beaten, kicked and insulted. Angel Blanco Marin, 22, said he was hit so hard he lost half of a molar. He asked for painkillers and medical attention but was given none for more than a month.

    The three men returned to their family’s homes in Venezuela this week, among the 252 Venezuelans released from CECOT and taken to the South American country in a deal between the U.S. and Venezuelan governments. They arrived on two flights in exchange for the release of 10 American citizens and permanent U.S. residents imprisoned in Venezuela.

    Again, use the gift link if you want to read the rest.

    I’ll end there, and post a few more stories in the comment thread. What else is happening? Please feel free to share.

    #Deportation #DonaldTrump #GhislaineMaxwell #GlassHouseRaid #HouseSpeakerMikeJohnson #ICE #immigration #JeffreyEpstein #PresidentBarackObama #SenRonWyden #TulsiGabbard #VenturaCountyCA

    #venturacountyca #tulsigabbard #senronwyden #presidentbarackobama #jeffreyepstein #immigration
14. 

    Sky Dancing @[email protected] · 2025-07-23 · 16:50 UTC

    Wednesday Reads: The Jeffrey Epstein Scandal and Immigration Horrors

    Good Morning!!

    Trump and Epstein ogle young women at a Mar-a-Lago party.

    The Epstein story is still leading the news as Trump continues to panic and try desperately to distract from the scandal.

    Yesterday, in a bizarre and incoherent oval office rant, he actually accused former president Barack Obama of committing treason by ordering an investigation of Russia’s interference in the 2016 election.

    Trump doesn’t understand the concept of treason, which is defined in the Constitution as follows:

    Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.

    But for malignant narcissist Trump, treason means any fantasized attack on him personally. ABC News: Trump accuses Obama of ‘treason’ in the Oval Office.

    Days after President Donald Trump posted an AI-generated fake video showing former President Barack Obama’s arrest on his social media platform, the current president pushed conspiracy theories about Obama in the Oval Office on Tuesday, accusing him of treason without providing evidence regarding the 2016 presidential election.

    “They tried to rig the election, and they got caught. And there should be very severe consequences for that,” Trump told reporters on Tuesday.

    Trump’s comments come after Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard submitted a criminal referral to the Department of Justice threatening the Obama administration.

    NBC News: Obama pushes back on Trump’s ‘outrageous’ and ‘bizarre’ treason claim.

    Former President Barack Obama’s office issued a rare rebuke of President Donald Trump on Tuesday after the president accused his predecessor of having committed “treason” and rigging the 2016 and 2020 elections.

    “Out of respect for the office of the presidency, our office does not normally dignify the constant nonsense and misinformation flowing out of this White House with a response,” Obama spokesperson Patrick Rodenbush said. “But these claims are outrageous enough to merit one. These bizarre allegations are ridiculous and a weak attempt at distraction.”

    When reporters on Tuesday asked Trump about the late convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, he pivoted to what he called Obama’s “criminality.”

    “After what they did to me — and whether it’s right or wrong, it’s time to go after people. Obama’s been caught directly,” Trump told reporters. “What they did in 2016 and 2020 is very criminal. It’s criminal at the highest level. So that’s really the things you should be talking about.”

    “Look, he’s guilty. It’s not a question,” Trump added. “This was treason. This was every word you can think of. They tried to steal the election. They tried to obfuscate the election.”

    Imagine if any other president had said something like this. But Trump gets away with it.

    Trump was referring to claims made by National Intelligence Director Tulsi Gabbard and CIA Director John Ratcliffe in social media posts and television appearances that they had found Obama administration officials manipulated intelligence and conspired to undermine the legitimacy of Trump’s electoral victory in 2016.

    Gabbard posted on social media on Friday that she was making a criminal referral to the Justice Department.

    At an event with congressional Republicans later Tuesday, Trump praised Gabbard and again accused Obama of being part of an effort to rig the elections. “These are vicious, horrible people,” he said of the former president and others.

    Trump sits next to Epstein with two Don Jr. and Ivanka

    Of course the Supreme Court claims the Constitution makes presidents immune from prosecution for official acts. But Trump is obviously freaking out about what releasing the Epstein files would reveal about him and desperately lashing out at his political enemies.

    This is analysis by Stephen Collinson at CNN: Trump’s latest bid to end Epstein storm: Weaponizing the federal government.

    Donald Trump’s bid to smother the uproar over accused sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein shows that he’s already achieved one goal his critics most feared from his second presidency.

    The Justice Department and the head of the US intelligence community are now openly operating as fully weaponized tools to pursue the president’s personal political needs in a degradation of a governing system meant to be an antidote to king-like patronage.

    This new dynamic underpinned a wild Oval Office press appearance by Trump on Tuesday, his latest attempt to put out the Epstein fire that had only the now-familiar effect of feeding the flames.

    The extent of the president’s capture of two key agencies that are vital to keeping Americans safe was revealed when a reporter asked a question about his administration’s refusal to open all files related to the Epstein case.

    The president pivoted to a tirade against Barack Obama, accusing the former president of staging a treasonous coup against him — basing his assault on a convenient and misleading memo about Russia’s 2016 election meddling that was released last week by Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard.

    The Justice Department has also been activated, yet again, to give Trump cover.

    Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche announced Tuesday that he will take the highly unusual move of meeting with Ghislaine Maxwell — who was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison for carrying out a yearslong scheme with Epstein to groom and sexually abuse underage girls — to ask what she knows but hasn’t so far told. Epstein died in jail while awaiting trial on sex trafficking charges.

    “I don’t know anything about it,” Trump told reporters in the Oval Office Tuesday.

    This seems a stretch, since Blanche is Trump’s former personal lawyer and plans to speak with a prisoner who has a clear incentive to offer testimony that could help a president who has the power to let her out of prison.

    Read the rest at CNN.

    Meanwhile, Trump sycophant House speaker Mike Johnson took action by cancelling the rest of the House session. Paul Waldman at MSNBC: The Epstein fallout literally shut down the House early for the summer.

    It’s been a week and a half since President Donald Trump complained on Truth Social that his many, many accomplishments were being overshadowed, “all over a guy who never dies, Jeffrey Epstein.” There is a kind of truth in Trump’s lament: Six years after his death in a Manhattan jail cell, Epstein lives on — and he has Republicans in something approaching panic. It’s gotten so bad that House Republicans apparently decided to shut the chamber down early before leaving town.

    Things fell apart for the GOP in the House Rules Committee, which determines which legislation reaches the House floor. Knowing how much GOP leaders would like this issue to just go away, Democrats attempted to force the House to vote on releasing all the information the government has on Epstein. “To avoid embarrassing votes on Epstein,” NBC News reported, “Republicans decided to recess the committee and not attempt to pass a rule for bills this week. Without a rule, Republicans would be left with nothing to vote on after Wednesday.” Instead, House Speaker Mike Johnson, R-La., began the chamber’s five-week summer recess early, apparently in hopes that by the time the members return in the fall, the affair will all have blown over.

    The whole episode recalls the famous line from “All the President’s Men”: “The truth is, these are not very bright guys, and things got out of control.”

    Jeffrey Epstein at Trump’s and Marla Maples’ wedding.

    Waldman notes that most Republicans don’t buy all the conspiracy theories cooked up by their base, but the Epstein conspiracy theories are base in reality.

    …[U]nfortunately for the president and his party, the public interest and the political debate around Epstein concerns real life, including his relationship with Trump. Epstein really was a fabulously wealthy and well-connected pedophile and sex trafficker. He really did die in jail, awaiting trial on sex trafficking and conspiracy charges. Both Trump and Vice President JD Vance really did encourage speculation that Epstein did not commit suicide. There really are a huge number of documents from the government’s investigation of Epstein that have not been made public.

    And before the pair had a “falling-out” (in the president’s words) in the mid-2000s, Epstein really was good friends with Donald Trump. “I’ve known Jeff for 15 years. Terrific guy,” Trump said in 2002. “He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.”

    After reiterating that Epstein’s death was a suicide and the case was closed, the administration faced a revolt from right-wing influencers who had been telling their audiences for years that the new Trump administration would blow the lid off everything Epstein was involved in. Then Trump begged people to talk about something, anything else, though his pleadings are falling on deaf ears. And on Tuesday, Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche announced that — at Attorney General Pam Bondi’s request — he intends to talk to Ghislaine Maxwell, currently serving a 20-year sentence for conspiring to aid Epstein in sex trafficking. The idea that Bondi and Blanche — both Trump loyalists who previously served among the president’s personal lawyers — are suddenly interested in Maxwell for solely apolitical reasons strains credulity, to say the least.

    Waldman writes that Republicans are faced with an uprising from the base and Trump’s desire to prevent any further Epstein revelations, and so they decided to get out of town instead of taking a vote on the release of the Epstein files.

    New Epstein Revelations

    CNN’s Andrew Kaczynski and Em Steck: Exclusive: Newly discovered photos and video shed fresh light on Trump’s ties to Jeffrey Epstein.

    Newly uncovered archived video footage and photos reveal fresh details about Donald Trump’s past relationship with Jeffrey Epstein.

    Photos from 1993 confirm for the first time that Epstein attended Trump’s 1993 wedding to Marla Maples. Epstein’s attendance at the ceremony at the Plaza Hotel was not widely known until now.

    In addition, footage from a 1999 Victoria’s Secret fashion event in New York shows Trump and Epstein laughing and chatting together ahead of the runway event. CNN’s KFile uncovered the raw footage during a review of archival video of Trump at events in the 1990s and 2000s. Trump and Epstein appeared together in at least one video among the limited archival footage reviewed.

    The new footage and photos, which have not been widely reported and pre-date any of Epstein’s known legal issues, come amid renewed scrutiny of Trump’s past relationship with Epstein. The Justice Department’s recent decision not to release long-promised files related to Epstein has spurred outrage in some corners of Trump’s MAGA movement, where people developed an expectation for bombshell revelations into Epstein’s alleged co-conspirators.

    In a brief call with CNN on Tuesday, President Trump, asked about the wedding photos, responded, “You’ve got to be kidding me,” before repeatedly calling CNN “fake news” and hanging up.

    In a statement to CNN, White House Communications Director Steven Cheung said, “These are nothing more than out-of-context frame grabs of innocuous videos and pictures of widely attended events to disgustingly infer something nefarious.

    “The fact is that the President kicked him out of his club for being a creep. This is nothing more than a continuation of the fake news stories concocted by the Democrats and the liberal media.”

    Read the rest at watch videos at CNN.

    Greg Sargent at The New Republic: Trump’s Epstein Fiasco Takes Darker Turn as Dem Senator Drops New Bomb.

    A few days ago, as the Jeffrey Epstein scandal gripped Washington, Senator Ron Wyden offered a striking revelation in an interview with The New York Times. The Oregon Democrat said that his investigators had discovered that four big banks had flagged to the Treasury Department $1.5 billion in potentially suspicious money transfers involving Epstein, much of which appeared to be related to his massive sex-trafficking network.

    Trump with Jeffrey Epstein at Victoria’s Secret event in 1999.

    The revelation—which emerged via Wyden’s work as ranking Democrat on the Finance Committee—ratified widespread suspicions that there is still much we don’t know about Epstein’s relations with some of the most powerful and wealthy elites in the world in the lead-up to his 2019 arrest on sex-trafficking charges.

    Now Wyden is ratcheting things up once again. Wyden’s office just sent a new letter to Attorney General Pam Bondi—which The New Republic obtained—suggesting seven potent lines of inquiry that the Justice Department could follow, right now, to dig more deeply into Epstein’s web of financial relations with global elites.

    “I am convinced that the DOJ ignored evidence found in the U.S. Treasury Department’s Epstein file, a binder that contains extensive details on the mountains of cash Epstein received from prominent businessmen that Epstein used to finance his criminal network,” Wyden writes in the letter.

    The Treasury Department has this information because that’s where banks file suspicious activity reports, or SARS. Wyden’s letter says his staff has documented that Epstein-related filings by banks contain “information on more than 4,725 wire transfers involving Epstein’s accounts, all of which merit further investigation.”

    Wyden’s letter seeks to demonstrate what the Trump administration is not doing to examine Epstein’s financial relations with the rich and powerful….

    Wyden’s move here is in some ways a trolling exercise, since DOJ won’t act on it. But such trolling by lawmakers can be constructive if it communicates new information to the public or highlights the failure of others in power to exercise oversight and impose accountability. Wyden’s letter does both.

    Read more at TNR.

    Immigration News

    I want to recommend a powerful article by Stephen W. Thrasher that was published at Literary Hub: What ICE’s Assault on Ventura County, California Means for the Rest of America. The piece is very long, so I can’t really summarize it with a few quoted paragraphs. I hope you’ll go read the whole thing.

    “Mom is gone. They took her away.”

    These are the words of an 8-year-old Mexican-American girl I will call Maria, in my hometown of Oxnard, California. She spoke them to her summer school teachers this past week, one of whom is a friend of mine.

    Maria’s mother was disappeared by ICE, the worst fear for many families in Ventura County, which emerged on the world stage recently as an ICE raid on the Glass House cannabis farm in Camarillo resulted in the death of farmer Jaime Alanís, the kidnapping of California State University Channel Island professor Jonathan Caravello, and the disappearance and presumed deportation of at least 200 farmers.

    Fortunately for Maria, her two tias picked her up the day her mom was kidnapped, and “they took me to Toppers, and I got to eat the ice cream cookie!” Her teacher—I’ll call her Miss Garvin—told me how Maria had never had the ice cream cookie at Toppers before, and that she was trying to hold onto this treat. It seemed as if the adults in Maria’s life were letting her have anything special to distract her—because they did not know when, or even if, she was going to see her mother again.

    Miss Garvin told me that “it was a shitshow of a day” as she kept Maria in her line of vision throughout the breakfast and lunch periods.

    “It broke my heart,” she told me, to see this normally vivacious girl sitting shell shocked and mute around her friends.

    Like Maria, I hail from Ventura County, and am a product of its Title 1 schools. From six to nine years old, I was bused through Oxnard’s bountiful agricultural fields and (literally) across the railroad tracks to the La Colonia neighborhood, where Ramona School educated students like me pretty well despite how economically neglected we were. (I still remember how few streetlights there were when we were bused before dawn, and that there were chickens running through the pot-holed streets just outside our school’s windows).

    A bit more:

    Like Maria, my biological mother disappeared when I was about her age, though not because she was kidnapped. (She just disappeared for three years while no one, including the private detective my dad and stepmother hired, could find any trace of her beyond an abandoned car.) Like Maria, my survival depended on the care of an Oxnard teacher like Miss Garvin.

    Like Maria, I am also a product of Ventura County’s fields, which gave me a place to play, taught me about labor politics, employed the vast majority of my classmates’ parents, and fed me.

    But you, wherever you are reading this, you are likely a product of Ventura County’s fields, too—especially if you’ve ever eaten a strawberry. Strawberries are harvested with backbreaking work usually done by undocumented migrant farmers. Oxnard is the largest producer of strawberries in California and is known as the “strawberry capital of the world.” Our 93,000 acres of farmland provides California, the United States, and even other countries not just various berries but avocados, mushrooms, corn, citrus, and even marijuana.

    And you are also a product of Ventura County because the Oxnard plain is a hot bed of radical politics. Historically, Ventura County has played a pivotal role in the evolution of labor organizing, as Cesar Chavez lived there for a time and had a strong base of operations during the rise of United Farm Workers.

    Just as importantly, Ventura County is playing a crucial role in the attempt to stop fascism right now, for the good people of Ventura, Camarillo, and Oxnard are not taking ICE raids without a fight. Since Trump came back into office, groups like VC Defensa and the 805 Immigration Coalition have been training volunteers to patrol for ICE agents. And when they’re spotted, a call goes out for community members to show up—and people from all walks of life (students, citizens, senior citizens) do.

    That’s what happened on July 11: a scout patrol spotted ICE agents and tipped off hundreds of people who showed up at the Glass House Farm to bear witness to the ICE raid.

    Scene from Glass House raid in Ventural Country, CA

    During that raid, a man was chased off a rooftop to his by masked ICE agents. An activist professor from Cal State Jonathan Caravello was also arrested and jailed after he tried to help a man escape from a tear gas cannister under his wheelchair. Thrasher describes the state of terror that immigrants face in Ventura county. He writes:

    If Ventura County falls, we are all going to fall. And the way people there have been treated as threats for interfering with the duties of police—a criminal charge I briefly faced as a professor under similar circumstances as the CSUCI professor—reveal the terror hundreds of millions could face if ICE does, in fact, get a six-fold increase in funding and becomes a bigger internal force than most countries’ militaries….

    Even without the threat of ICE, farming has long been identified as one of the most dangerous jobs in America. Given that “more people die while farming than while serving as police officers, firefighters or other emergency responders,” the idea that ICE officers fear for their lives while approaching farmers is absurd.

    But the terror of ICE has pushed immigrant families in Ventura County to their deaths in ways fast and slow.

    Immigration expert Jeff Crisp at The New York Times (gift link): Trump Is Building a Machine to Disappear People.

    In May, the United States flew a group of eight migrants to Djibouti, a small state in the Horn of Africa. For weeks, the men — who are from Cuba, Laos, Mexico, Myanmar, Vietnam and South Sudan — were detained in a converted shipping container on a U.S. military base. More than a month later, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that the men, who had all been convicted of serious crimes, could be transferred to their final destination: South Sudan, a country on the brink of famine and civil war. Tom Homan, the border czar, acknowledged that he didn’t know what happened to them once they were released from U.S. custody. “As far as we’re concerned,” he said, “they’re free.”

    Deporting foreign nationals to countries other than their homeland has quickly become a centerpiece of the Trump administration’s immigration policy. Thousands of people have been sent to countries in the Western Hemisphere, including Costa Rica, El Salvador, Mexico and Panama. At a recent summit of West African leaders, President Trump pressed them to admit deportees from the United States, reportedly emphasizing that assisting in migration was essential to improving commercial ties with the United States. All told, administration officials have reached out to dozens of states to try to strike deals to accept deportees. The administration is making progress: Last week, it sent five men to the tiny, landlocked country of Eswatini in southern Africa after their home countries allegedly “refused to take them back,” according to an assistant homeland security secretary, Tricia McLaughlin. The terms of the deal were not disclosed.

    In some ways, this is nothing new. It has become increasingly common for the world’s most prosperous countries to relocate immigrants, asylum seekers and refugees to places with which they have little or no prior connection. Previous U.S. administrations from both parties have sought third-country detentions as easy fixes. In the 1990s, Presidents George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton both sent thousands of Haitian refugees to detention camps in Guantánamo Bay before forcibly repatriating most of them to Haiti.

    What is new about the Trump administration’s deportation efforts, unlike previous European or even past U.S. attempts, is their breadth and scale, effectively transforming migrant expulsions into a tool for international leverage. By deporting foreign nationals to often unstable third countries, the Trump administration is not only creating a novel class of exiles with little hope of returning to either the United States or their country of origin, but also explicitly using these vulnerable populations as bargaining chips in a wider strategy of diplomatic and geopolitical deal making.

    This strategy marks a significant evolution in a practice that has been gaining traction throughout the developed world. In the early 2000s, Australia devised the so-called Pacific Solution, an arrangement that diverted asylum seekers arriving by boat or intercepted at sea to holding centers in the island states of Nauru and Papua New Guinea in exchange for benefits, including development aid and financial support. In 2016, amid what was then the largest displacement of people in Europe since World War II, the European Union struck a deal that allowed it to send migrants arriving in Greece from Turkey through irregular means back to Turkey — to the tune of six billion euros.

    Use the gift link to read the rest if you’re interested.

    The Washington Post (gift link): U.S. deportees, freed from Salvadoran prison, describe ‘horror movie.’

    Julio González Jr. had agreed to be deported to Venezuela. When the 36-year-old office cleaner and house painter boarded the flight in Texas in March, he assumed it would take him back to his home country.

    Instead, the plane landed in El Salvador.

    “The horror movie started there,” González said Tuesday.

    When the shackled men refused to get off the plane, González and two other detainees told The Washington Post that they were yanked by their feet, beaten and shoved off board as the plane’s crew began to cry. Dozens of migrants were forced onto a bus and driven to a massive gray complex. They were ordered to kneel there with their foreheads pressed against the ground as guards pointed guns directly at them.

    “Welcome to El Salvador, you sons of b—–s,”a hooded figure told them, González recalled. They had arrived at El Salvador’s Terrorism Confinement Center, known as CECOT. The United States has paid the Salvadoran government of President Nayib Bukele $6 million to hold hundreds of migrants rounded up in President Donald Trump’s mass removals — many without ties to El Salvador, many without criminal charges — at the world’s largest prison.

    In the four months they spent there, the detainees said, they were beaten repeatedly with wooden bats. González was robbed of thousands of dollars, he said, and denied access to lawyers or a chance to call his family. Joen Suárez, 23, was taken several times to a dark room known as La Isla — or “the island” — and beaten, kicked and insulted. Angel Blanco Marin, 22, said he was hit so hard he lost half of a molar. He asked for painkillers and medical attention but was given none for more than a month.

    The three men returned to their family’s homes in Venezuela this week, among the 252 Venezuelans released from CECOT and taken to the South American country in a deal between the U.S. and Venezuelan governments. They arrived on two flights in exchange for the release of 10 American citizens and permanent U.S. residents imprisoned in Venezuela.

    Again, use the gift link if you want to read the rest.

    I’ll end there, and post a few more stories in the comment thread. What else is happening? Please feel free to share.

    #Deportation #DonaldTrump #GhislaineMaxwell #GlassHouseRaid #HouseSpeakerMikeJohnson #ICE #immigration #JeffreyEpstein #PresidentBarackObama #SenRonWyden #TulsiGabbard #VenturaCountyCA

    #deportation #donaldtrump #ghislainemaxwell #glasshouseraid #housespeakermikejohnson #ice
15. 

    Rob Pegoraro @[email protected] · 2020-06-19 · 21:07 UTC

    Airports I’ve used

    Last Friday set an ignominious personal milestone: I broke a record for consecutive days spent away from airplanes that went back to to 2001.

    Back then, the post-9/11 shutdown of commercial aviation and my own relaxed travel schedule ensured I wouldn’t board a plane between early August, when I landed at National Airport after a summer vacation in California, and early January, when I took off DCA for my first Macworld Expo. This time, the novel-coronavirus pandemic has grounded me, and it’s unclear when I’ll once again feel jet engines shove me back in my seat and watch the ground fall away from the wing.

    So I might as well document the airports I used in the Before Times, having already done the research for my friend Craig Fifer’s Flight Quest project to track who among his friends had taken off from or landed at more airports. As an inveterate list-maker and avgeek, how could I not have taken part in that competition?

    So here you go: the 94 95 97 98 99 100 101 102103 104 105 106 109 112 113 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 airports I’ve used listed by IATA and ICAO code, plus my comments about each.

    • AER/URSS, Sochi International Airport: A student trip to the Soviet Union after my high-school graduation (thanks, Mom and Dad) led me to this airport on the Black Sea.
    • AMS/EHAM, Amsterdam Airport Schiphol: A friend’s bachelor party provided an excellent excuse to fly to the Netherlands.
    • ATL/KATL, Hartsfield–Jackson Atlanta International Airport: I’ve spent shockingly little time here, aside from two trips to cover the E3 video-game conference in the ’90s.
    • ATW/KATW, Appleton International Airport: This has to be the smallest U.S. airport on this list with “International” in its name–despite not having any regularly scheduled international passenger service.
    • AUS/KAUS, Austin–Bergstrom International Airport: Thanks, SXSW.
    • BCN/LEBL, Josep Tarradellas Barcelona–El Prat Airport: MWC put this airport on my map.
    • BDA/TXKF, L.F. Wade International Airport: spring break in Bermuda with my family in high school.
    • BER/EDDB, Berlin Brandenburg Airport: Five years after seeing this unopened airport as a infrastructure tourist, I experienced it as a passenger.
    • BNA/KBNA, Nashville International Airport: The diversity of local dining options represented here reminded me of AUS.
    • BOI/KBOI, Boise Airport: Shortest airport name on this list.
    • BOS/KBOS, Logan International Airport: a family destination since the late ’90s.
    • BRU/EBBR, Brussels Airport: I hear Brussels is a great city, so at some point I should not just connect through its airport.
    • BUR/KBUR, Hollywood Burbank Airport: Among my easier airport car-rental experiences.
    • BWI/KBWI, Baltimore/Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport: the greater Washington area’s third-place airport.
    • CDG/LFPG, Paris Charles de Gaulle Airport: T1 is a master class in how not to design a terminal.
    • CGS/KCGS, College Park Airport: I went to an airshow at the oldest continuously-operated airport in the late ’90s and paid $20 or so for a ride in a biplane.
    • CLE/KCLE, Cleveland Hopkins International Airport: I’m told that my first flight was a hop from Newark to Cleveland to see my grandparents.
    • CLT/KCLT, Charlotte Douglas International Airport: Yes, I’ve flown US Airways and American Airlines.
    • CMH/KCMH, John Glenn Columbus International Airport: Part of a miniature mileage run I did on Sept. 11, 2020 to break an eight-month streak of being grounded after the novel-coronavirus pandemic shut down all my business travel.
    • CPH/EKCH, Copenhagen Airport: The airport is easily reachable by train from both Denmark and Sweden.
    • CRL/EBCI, Brussels South Charleroi Airport: Potential Ryanair passengers should be advised that Charleroi isn’t Brussels.
    • CTU/ZUUU, Chengdu Shuangliu International Airport: The 1998 trip to Tibet that took me through this airport (I’m sure it’s much fancier now) will require its own post at some point.
    • CUN/MMUN, Cancún International Airport: a pre-Christmas vacation a couple of years ago.
    • CXH/CYHC, Vancouver Harbour Flight Centre: I couldn’t resist ducking away from Web Summit Vancouver to get in a floatplane tour of the city and its beautiful surroundings.
    • DAL/KDAL, Dallas Love Field: Of course, Southwest Airlines was involved.
    • DCA/KDCA, Washington National Airport: I don’t call the airport that I’ve probably used more than any other “Reagan Airport” because Republicans in Congress insisted on shoving that name on us while the 41st president was still alive. Never name things after living politicians.
    • DEN/KDEN, Stapleton International Airport: I’m so old that I’ve flown in and out of and driven under Denver’s former airport.
    • DEN/KDEN, Denver International Airport: Rail transit from here is surprisingly good.
    • DFW/KDFW, Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport: I think I’ve only flown here once; my second time would have been this March, but the pandemic intervened.
    • DOH/OTHH, Hamad International Airport: Doha, Qatar, is the farthest east I’ve flown from home.
    • DTW/KDTW, Detroit Metropolitan Wayne County Airport: I’ve only over connected through Detroit and have somehow never visited the city itself.
    • DUB/EIDW, Dublin Airport: I was overdue to return until Dublin Tech Summit brought me back in 2022.
    • EWR/KEWR, Newark Liberty International Airport: my home airport growing up, as well as the only one where I’ve experienced a departure from the jumpseat of an airliner.
    • FCO/LIRF, Rome–Fiumicino International Airport: first stop on my honeymoon.
    • FLL/KFLL, Fort Lauderdale–Hollywood International Airport: a nice start to a few days in the Florida Keys with friends.
    • FRA/EDDF, Frankfurt am Main Airport: Germany’s biggest Star Alliance transfer point.
    • FUK/RJFF, Fukuoka Airport: an unplanned connection on my way to Tokyo in 2019, also a source of childish hilarity for its IATA code.
    • GIG/SBGL, Rio de Janeiro/Galeão International Airport: My first airport used out of the Northern Hemisphere.
    • GRU/SBGR, São Paulo/Guarulhos International Airport: I usually don’t like to be introduced to a new airport with less than two hours to connect through it, but my domestic-to-international connection at GRU was about as easy as they get.
    • GVA/LSGG, Geneva Airport: Switzerland’s lesser airport.
    • HEL/EFHK, Helsinki-Vantaa Airport: Also one of the more memorable IATA codes out there.
    • HGR/KHGR, Hagerstown Regional Airport: Where I flew in a 76-year-old B-25 Mitchell.
    • HKG/VHHH, Hong Kong International Airport: I’m sorry I never got to fly into Kai Tak.
    • HND/RJTT, Tokyo International Airport: My belated introduction to Haneda came in 2019.
    • HOU/KHOU, William P. Hobby Airport: This requires a whole lot less walking than its big brother on the other side of Houston.
    • IAD/KIAD, Washington Dulles International Airport: my other home airport now.
    • IAH/KIAH, George Bush Intercontinental Airport: so many connections here.
    • IST/LTFM, Istanbul Airport: This has to be the largest airport terminal I’ve ever set foot in. If you have access to the Turkish Airlines lounge by the D concourse, show up hungry!
    • JFK/KJFK, John F. Kennedy International Airport: I have a Pan Am boarding pass from here but have otherwise spent shockingly little time at JFK.
    • KEF/BIKF, Keflavik International Airport: Decades after Tom Clancy’s “Red Storm Rising” introduced this airport to me as the site of a Soviet invasion, I had a much more tranquil welcome connecting through KEF in 2022.
    • KOA/PHKO, Ellison Onizuka Kona International Airport at Keāhole: Qualcomm’s Snapdragon Tech Summit took me here in 2021.
    • -/KHES, Healdsburg Municipal Airport: A flight in a friend’s plane took me to this tiny Sonoma County airstrip.
    • LAS/KLAS, McCarran International Airport: CES has given me an obnoxious level of familiarity with Las Vegas’ airport.
    • LAX/KLAX, Los Angeles International Airport: The In-n-Out Burger franchise just northeast of the runways is my favorite fast-food spot in the world.
    • LED/ULLI, Pulkovo Airport: I flew here in 1989, when St. Petersburg was still Leningrad.
    • LGA/KLGA, LaGuardia Airport: It’s made Penn Station look good.
    • LGW/LGKK, London Gatwick: London’s other airport, substantially more expensive to reach via rail than Heathrow.
    • LHR/EGLL, Heathrow Airport: My opinion of it went way up after T2 opened.
    • LIS/LPPT, Humberto Delgado Airport: Obrigado, Web Summit.
    • LKE/-, Kenmore Air Harbor Seaplane Base: My first flight that started and ended on water happened here, at Seattle’s Lake Union.
    • LXA/ZULS, Lhasa Gonggar Airport: At 11,710 feet above sea level, Tibet’s primary airport is the highest one I’ve used.
    • MAD/LEMD, Adolfo Suárez Madrid–Barajas Airport: I was here as a kid.
    • MCI/KMCI, Kansas City International Airport: Not everything is up to date in this airport.
    • MCO/KMCO, Orlando International Airport: I’ve flown here to see rockets fly.
    • MDW/KMDW, Chicago Midway International Airport: the other Chicago airport.
    • MEM/KMEM, Memphis International Airport: a long-ago connection.
    • MEX/MMMX, Mexico City International Airport: my first non-coastal airport used in Mexico.
    • MHT/KMHT, Manchester–Boston Regional Airport: An early-morning departure after a friend’s wedding was not much fun.
    • MIA/KMIA, Miami International Airport: My first in-person panel moderation since the start of the pandemic finally got me to this airport.
    • MSO/KMSO, Missoula Montana Airport: After getting off the plane here, I knew I would not have Vasili Borodin’s dying regret in the film version of The Hunt For Red October, “I would like to have seen Montana.”
    • MSP/KMSP, Minneapolis–Saint Paul International Airport: My 2001 connection here was so short that my skis didn’t make it on the plane home with me.
    • MSY/KMSY, Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport: great city, bad transfers to and from its airport.
    • MUC/EDDM, Munich Airport: my second-most-frequent connection in Germany.
    • MXP/LIMC, Milan Malpensa Airport: The last stop on our honeymoon.
    • NRT/RJAA, Narita International Airport: I don’t think any other airport on this list sits as far from its city’s downtown as Narita is from Tokyo.
    • OAK/KOAK, Oakland International Airport: I last flew here when you still had to take a bus to BART.
    • ODS/UKOO, Odesa International Airport: It was still spelled Odessa when I visited in 1989.
    • OGG/PHOG, Kahului Airport: A friend’s wedding in Maui was for years my only visit to Hawaii.
    • ORD/KORD, O’Hare International Airport: Two great things about ORD: the neon sculpture between T1’s two halves, and Tortas Frontera.
    • ORY/LFPO, Paris Orly Airport: When my family lived outside of Paris during my first two years of college, flying Continental meant I arrived at Orly instead of de Gaulle.
    • PDX/KPDX, Portland International Airport: I, too, miss the old carpet.
    • PEK/ZBAA, Beijing Capital International Airport: Transit connections were not that easy or discoverable in 2007.
    • PHL/KPHL, Philadelphia International Airport: Amtrak should connect to PHL.
    • PHX/KPHX, Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport: Yet another airport I’ve only used as a connection.
    • PIT/KPIT, Pittsburgh International Airport: I haven’t been here since the last millennium.
    • PSP/KPSP, Palm Springs International Airport: palm trees and runways.
    • PTY/MPTO, Tocumen International Airport: I connected through Copa Airlines’ Panama City hub on my way to Web Summit Rio in 2023.
    • PUJ/MDPC, Punta Cana International Airport: Wearing a Nats cap in the Dominican Republic will get you some “Juan Soto!” shout-outs.
    • PVD/KPVD, T.F. Green International Airport: Providence has a very efficient airport.
    • PVG/ZSPD, Shanghai Pudong International Airport: the fastest transit link I’ve ever used.
    • PVR/MMPR, Licenciado Gustavo Díaz Ordaz International Airport: a destination wedding in Puerto Vallarta.
    • RDU/KRDU, Raleigh-Durham International Airport: Part of a mileage run in 2023, unless I flew in or out of there years earlier.
    • RIX/EVRA, Riga International Airport: The TechChill conference brought me to Latvia in 2022.
    • RNO/KRNO, Reno–Tahoe International Airport: My only flight here happened after I missed a flight out of IAD and had to rebook.
    • RSW/KRSW, Southwest Florida International Airport: I forgot to include Fort Myers’ airport when I first posted this list.
    • SAN/KSAN, San Diego International Airport: Enjoy the views of downtown on the way in.
    • SAT/KSAT, San Antonio International Airport: the smallest United Club I’ve visited.
    • SDU/SBRJ, Santos Dumont Airport: Rio’s rough equivalent of National Airport.
    • SEA/KSEA, Seattle–Tacoma International Airport: Take the train to downtown and think of Steve Dunne from Singles.
    • SFO/KSFO, San Francisco International Airport: my most frequent Left Coast airport.
    • SJC/KSJC, San Jose International Airport: I haven’t been back to Silicon Valley’s self-styled home airport in a few years.
    • SJD/MMSD, Los Cabos International Airport: another destination wedding in Mexico.
    • SJU/TJSJ, Luis Muñoz Marín International Airport: Storms back home extended my senior-year spring-break trip to Puerto Rico by a day and got me rebooked into a first-class seat on American back to D.C.
    • SLC/KSLC, Salt Lake City International Airport: a great ski trip in my pre-parenthood days.
    • SMF/KSMF, Sacramento International Airport: I flew here in 1992 to drive across the country with my girlfriend at the time in a 1977 Toyota Corolla, which seemed like a super-logical thing to do at the time.
    • SNA/KSNA, John Wayne Airport: The takeoff from this short 5,700-foot runway felt sportier than average.
    • SPU/LDSP, Split Airport: My introduction to Croatia in 2023, courtesy of Infobip’s Shift 2023 conferencee hosting me as an emcee.
    • STL/KSTL, St. Louis Lambert International Airport: my first two business trips had me going to E3 in L.A. via TWA from DCA, putting that airline’s hub in between.
    • STS/KSTS, Charles M. Schulz–Sonoma County Airport: The tiny waiting room is decorated with large prints of Peanuts strips featuring Snoopy and the Red Baron, which is awesome. Santa Rosa’s airport is also the only one I’ve departed via hot-air balloon.
    • SVO/UUEE, Sheremetyevo International Airport: My introduction to the joys of communism came at the start of that 1989 trip, in the form of an approximately two-hour wait after landing in Moscow for Aeroflot to return our group’s luggage.
    • SVQ/LEZL, Seville Airport: Having ATC delay a departure to FRA last spring by most of an hour required me to make a 10-minute connection in FRA.
    • SZX/ZGSZ, Shenzhen Bao’an International Airport: This, too, looks a lot different than it did during my 1998 trip to China.
    • TLL/EETN, Lennart Meri Tallinn Airport: Estonia’s primary airport is refreshingly close to the center of Tallinn.
    • TLV/LLBG, Ben Gurion Airport: They don’t screw around with security at Tel Aviv.
    • TPA/KTPA, Tampa International Airport: I landed here in 2011 to see my first space shuttle launch because Continental couldn’t get me to Orlando; fortunately, I-4 was devoid of traffic after 11 p.m.
    • TUS/KTUS, Tucson International Airport: Having an Air National Guard base hosted at this airport allows your planespotting to include F-16s.
    • TXL/EDDT, Berlin Tegel Airport: If Berlin Brandenburg Airport really and finally opens this fall (update: it did), TXL will be the next airport on this list to be retired.
    • VIE/LOWW, Vienna International Airport: a lovely vacation in 2006.
    • VNO/EYVI, Vilnius International Airport: I got my introduction to the last of the Baltic states’ three major airports about two and a half years after landing in Tallinn.
    • YQX/CYQX, Gander International Airport: On our way to the USSR in 1989, our Aeroflot Il-62 made a scheduled refueling stop at this Newfoundland airport.
    • YTZ/CYTZ, Billy Bishop Toronto City Airport: one of only two airports that I’ve exited by walking, the other being National.
    • YUL/CYUL, Montréal–Trudeau International Airport: Montréal is high on my list of cities I’d like to see again.
    • YVR/CYVR, Vancouver International Airport: I flew here to spend a few days skiiing at Whistler and still need to spend some time in the city itself.
    • YYZ/CYYZ, Toronto Pearson International Airport: famous forever thanks to Rush.
    • ZAG/LDZA, Zagreb Franjo Tuđman Airport: One of the smallest national-capital airports on this list.
    • ZRH/LSZH, Zurich Airport: The 22-minute connection I pulled off here in 2013 remains my second-shortest international layover.

    This almost certainly isn’t complete, as before 1997 I’m limited to incomplete paper records and my own memory. But I don’t think anybody can question my lifelong effort to prop up commercial aviation.

    Updated 9/12/2020 to add CMH; 10/7/2020 to add DAL and HOU; 8/20/2021 to add TLL; 8/27/2021 to add RSW; 9/16/2021 to add HGR; 10/3/2021 to add MIA;12/6/2021 to add KOA; 5/2/2022 to add RIX; 5/26/2022 to add BOI; 7/2/2022 to add HEL; 8/1/2022 to add PUJ; 9/19/2022 to add BER, KEF and CPH; 5/8/2023 to add PTY, GIG and GRU; 7/20/2023 to add LGW; 9/23/2023 to add IST, SPU and ZAG; 12/5/2023 to add RDU; 2/11/2024 to add VNO; 7/2/2024 to add SNA; 8/16/2024 to add BUR; 10/16/2024 to add BNA; 3/16/2025 to add DOH; 5/2/2025 to add SDU; 6/20/2025 to add MEX; 10/16/2025 to add ATW and update the name of MSO; 5/22/2026 to add CXH.

    #airportCode #airports #FlightQuest #IATACode #ICAOCode #landings #takeoffs

    #airportcode #airports #flightquest #iatacode #icaocode #landings
16. 

    Nicolas Ward @[email protected] · 2024-09-02 · 22:53 UTC

    Yesterday I took our son to his first PAX. I hadn’t been to one since 2019 (with the exception of PAX Online). My peak PAX attendance era 2008-2013 was before he was born! Now that he’s old enough for both more of the content and the amount of walking and waiting involved it was time for a shared father-son day of gaming. We had a ton of fun!

    (Long post incoming.)

    Our Day

    The bus ride downtown was convenient except for the Sunday schedule timing. I know we’re on a mostly commuter only route but 30 minute headways are a pain. A neighbor even got on a few stops down the road in full fantasy armor cosplay (I think FFXIV?).

    We started the day in the new Summit building since we wanted to attend an Omegathon round that morning and not walk the few blocks in between (or go through security) multiple times. As it turns out this was wise since the huge line was over at the old Arch building to get into the expo hall. It gave us time to explore the building, including the Classic Arcade and some of the tabletop vendors, with not many people around.

    Some classic arcade shmup action

    We were also among the first people to hit the Merch area and pick up some swag including some cool pins. I’ve been collecting them since I was a kid so always enjoy cool designs, but I do not understand pin trading. Why would I want to give up pins that I like??

    Merch!

    The Omegathon round was somewhat sparsely attended, maybe a half full smaller theater. At PAX East I remember it being more core to the event? It was still fun cheering everyone trying to beat the fastest time on the first stage of a 40 year old game. Kiddo of course was cheering for Sassy Wombat on name alone. There were some pretty impressive runs; it was fun to cheer along with the crowd. I think they underestimated their three run format for all of the Omeganauts so it ran into the next panel.

    Excitebike for (emulated) NES

    We ate our packed lunch (bagged with little hearts on it by Andrle) while on the go switching buildings. Due to my incorrect memory of the usual setup and some unclear signage we unnecessarily walked around the block to enter from the underpass side before taking the escalators up to the main Expo Hall.

    We spent about three hours exploring various booths, mostly focused on our usual favorite indie game options, including those at PAX Rising and Wholesome Games. There may not be an Indie Megabooth at PAX anymore but the vibe is still there. We of course had to check out the Panic booth. There was a giant Playdate with a real working crank! We had planned on trying some games at the Nintendo booth but the line was too long.

    Kiddo was interested in looking at the fancy light up PC hardware too (something we don’t have at all). He also recognized the mind flayer spelljammer ship on top of the Larian booth for Baldur’s Gate III so I’m doing something right. I of course had to finally try on a Star Trek jacket at the Volante Design booth. I’ve been getting those ads any time I open Instagram lately.

    I did not know gaming rig figurine display was a thing

    We headed back to Summit to finish our day in the tabletop expo. Lots of cool stuff to look at but the games closet shelf is really full at this point! I also managed to avoid more dice, but did get a pin. We decided not to try anything from the games library since it was getting late. We wrapped up with a quick snack stop (packed popcorn and a $4 convention center sprite).

    We realized also that there there was VR freeplay, which I hadn’t seen anything about in any of the show information emails or app. Unfortunately the wait list was over two hours so we missed our chance; we would have had to sign up earlier in the day. Kid is very excited to try VR more since we don’t have it at home; we’ll have to see if one of his friends has a setup.

    We did spend some brief time with the Console Freeplay, doing some Overcooked 2, which we’ve played together before (though not on Xbox Series S). We also briefly checked out the TCG and RPG area. There were tons of tables marked as reserved for Lorcana (which we’ve been enjoying lately) but no one playing at them, which was kinda odd.

    We finished the evening grabbing a few more photos around the I think newly iconic building before walking back to the bus home. Unfortunately poor schedule timing meant we had to take a 4 and walk across the hill a bit, but that was nicer than waiting downtown another 20 minutes.

    Mirrored ceiling

    Thoughts

    All in all, a super fun event. The rest of this post covers a few things about the convention in general before highlighting a few of our favorite game demos.

    One general comment is that I have no idea how I used to do three days of an event like this! Especially when I often stayed late for concerts or open tabletop gaming. The six plus miles of slow walking and standing in line is apparently a lot for my now 40+ legs.

    COVID Safety

    There was no mask mandate of any kind and pretty minimal messaging before the show other than the usual “don’t spread PAX Plague” that existed before COVID. Like anyone else they basically just defer to state and local regulations or the venue, which doesn’t have any teeth anymore. That said I think we observed about 20% masking, higher than I’ve encountered anywhere else recently.

    Kiddo and I masked the entire time (and ate outside) and it seemed like the ventilation was good and in many areas crowds weren’t super packed. The biggest risk is probably that so many people traveled to get here from areas with higher rates according to sewer data. Hopefully in a few days we won’t discover that I’m just bargaining.

    Architecture

    This was my first time in the new Summit building (having been to the old arch building several times between a few PAXen, PodCons, and a Planted Expo). LMN did some beautiful work.

    I’m sure some of it is the newness but there are some really neat elements between the iconic staircase, the closeable atriums including The Hole, and tons of local art all over.

    🕳️

    Kiddo commented on how cool all the brutalist elements in the old building over I-5 are, and while parts of it feel like a late ’80s mall the Freeway Park end still looks cool.

    Penny Arcade

    Obviously the web comic and its creators still loom large over the show, but they’re not as central as I remember they were a decade plus ago. ReedPop has owned it the entire time I’ve attended but especially the smaller Omegathon without Gabe and Tycho running it felt like the show is more of a general gaming convention that happens to feature some of their art and key panels. I wonder how many attendees regularly read the strip!

    This isn’t a bad thing, and I gather it’s allowed them to not have to stress as much even as the event has gotten much larger. It probably also broadens the appeal inclusivity-wise given some of their past mistakes.

    Mobile Gaming

    Notably absent I thought was much mention at all of mobile gaming which is a huge part of the gaming experience but often considered lesser compared to console and PC gaming. It’s unfortunate because many of the kinds of casual puzzle games I love are on iOS.

    It was also telling compared to 2019 and 2020 that I saw no mention of Apple Arcade. Almost all of the indie games we saw were coming to some combination of Switch and Steam. As we often said on our long hiatus podcast 25¢, Apple wants artfully made games but doesn’t seem to get game development. For indies the lack of game demos, early access, or even basic follow abilities makes it hard for them to commit to the platform. This has come up more and more recently in the context of the recent announcement that Monument Valley 3 is coming to iOS via Netflix.

    Video Game Highlights

    Time Flies

    The Panic booth was one of our first stops and this is one of the upcoming games they’re publishing. It reminded me a lot of a kind of minimal HyperCard aesthetic. While a game didn’t last long before your fly dies, there are various time rewinding mechanics available to buy yourself more time.

    Minami Lane

    This was one of the cozy games we were excited about when we watched the Wholesome Direct a few months ago. We had to wait a while to try it but it’s a nice lightweight city sim with a neat art style. Felt kinda like managing one floor of SimTower, but as a street.

    ctrl.alt.DEAL

    Kind of a mashup between a deck building card game and a relationship sim? You’re the AI of a dystopian corporate office trying to manipulate the occupants to help you escape. Apparently they originally conceived of it as a tabletop game. The demo was interesting if maybe a little content wise too old for kiddo.

    Feltopia

    Super cool hand-felted stop motion animation sprites made by a tiny team from Port Townsend, WA. The gameplay demo was a side scroller reminiscent of Gradius, but simpler and fuzzier. This seems like an astounding amount of work to make, I hope they’re able to be efficient with their assets!

    Wilmot Works it Out

    We were familiar with Wilmot’s Warehouse (actually got it for Andrle a while back to scratch an organization itch) so this puzzle continuation is a neat addition to the theme. Has a nice jazzy soundtrack.

    Tabletop Game Highlights

    Compile

    We saw their cool glitch art logo across the hall and got a full round demo of this two-player duel game. It had an interesting AI singularity theme and pretty good balanced gameplay. We won by one round.

    Sonic Roll

    The original Sonic games for Genesis are big in our house, so this one jumped out at us. We got a brief explanation of the rules and it seems like a fun group versus the game rolling game.

    Tales of Fablecraft

    This was probably the highlight of the show! It’s an interesting hybrid between a VTT and a turn-based RPG video game. They call it a “digital tabletop RPG”. They have their own rule system and it can run locally or remote. The game engine helps with rule enforcement and assets (including character audio!) but the game master still controls everything. It seemed simple enough that even a younger kid could run a campaign.

    Their business model is interesting too… the base game and first small adventure are free but additional adventures or asset packs are paid. The main thing I’m wondering is what their roadmap is like… will they be able to churn out new adventures as quickly as a committed group can play through them? Maybe one a quarter or so?

    They had a successful Kickstarter last year but their team seems a lot bigger than that funding level so I hope they’ve got their investment sorted. This is a system I think we’d like to commit to for family game time.

    https://blog.ultranurd.net/2024/09/02/pax-west-2024/

    #appleArcade #architecture #boardGames #convention #covid #pax #paxWest #pennyArcade #rpgs #seattle #tabletopGames #videoGames

    #applearcade #architecture #boardgames #convention #covid #pax
17. 

    PulkoMandy @[email protected] · 2025-07-14 · 13:50 UTC

    it's not too hot and my urgent todo list is lighter than usual, so it's time for #todaysBikeRide and #geohash expedition again!

    The geohash was in an unremarkable sunflower field, so I stopped 11m away, staying on the road. Good enough for me. I found an abandoned bus from the city of Nevers, pretty much the other side of France, with a very late 1990s livery. Also went to the nearby artificial lake and found "interesting" things in the tiny library

    #todaysbikeride #geohash
18. 

    Andy Arthur - Threadinburgh @[email protected] · 2023-05-05 · 11:01 UTC

    Operation Hummer I Nord: the thread about a bumbling German espionage attempt, stopped in its tracks at Waverley

    Scene. Edinburgh Waverley, 9PM, Sept. 30 1940. A man lingers in the shadows by a bookstall, a hand in his pocket. He watches the left luggage counter, waiting anxiously. He steps forward and in the same instant is caught in a vice-like grip. For Werner Walti, the war is over.

    The porter who has accosted him propels him into the luggage office, at the same time twisting the arm from the pocket to reveal a Mauser pistol. The man cries out, “I am not German, I am Swiss!” Fourteen hours previously, a cold and wet Werner Walti appeared out of the morning darkness at the tiny Buckpool Station on Scotland’s Moray coast, clutching a two damp cases. In a foreign accent he enquired where he was (the station signs had been removed), and when the next train to Aberdeen was.

    Buckpool Station. View westward, towards Elgin, 1961. CC-by-SA Ben Brooksbank

    On finding out he had just missed it, he was directed to Buckie Station, a mile up the line, where he could catch the 9:58 to Aberdeen. He was told to take the bus, but tried to buy his 2d fair with a 10/- note and the clippie could not give him change. At 07:45 he presents himself at Buckie station and purchases a ticket via Aberdeen to Edinburgh. With 2 hours to wait, he occupies himself staring at the timetables in minute detail. “Have you lost a train sir?” enquires the porter. Flustered, he shows his ticket and leaves.

    Buckie Station. 1961. CC-by-SA Ben Brooksbank.

    At that same time, a few miles to the west in Port Gordon, PC Robert Grieve – irked at being awakened from his bed so early in the morning – is on the telephone to his superior at Buckie to break the news: He has two German spies in his custody!

    The suspicions of John Donald, stationmaster at Port Gordon, were aroused when two bedraggled foreigners arrived at his station first thing that morning and asked where they were. Checking a map, they bought 2 tickets to Forres. John Donald noticed the wad of notes they paid from. John Donald’s suspicious were further aroused as they were very wet below the knees, their clothes stained white with salt. Alarm bells really rang for Donald when one of the pair pulled a large sausage from his pocket and began cutting and eating slices from it with a knife. He sent for PC Grieve who promptly arrived to inspect papers. The couple, a man and a woman, presented refugee identity cards. But Grieve was not satisfied; why were the cards not stamped? Why were they completed in European style handwriting with the 7s crossed through? Inspector Simpson is sent for from Buckie and arrives to search the suspects. He noted the identity cards were numbered consecutively. He noted the 19 rounds of pistol ammunition; £327 in bank notes; a list of RAF bases; a torch marked “Made in Bohemia“; and a German sausage.

    Forcing open the couple’s suitcase, Simpson finds a loaded Mauser pistol, a morse radio set and encoding wheels. Francois de Deeker and Vera Erikson – as their papers identify them – are placed under arrest, and the Inspector phones his superiors, who phone their superiors. Far off in Edinburgh, Peter Perfect’s telephone soon rang. It was Banffshire Constabulary and after a brief conversation he jumped into his car and set off at once for Buckie, a 5.5 hour drive away. Peter Perfect was not just a great name, he was MI5’s top man in Scotland. A few hours later, Peter Perfect is on the road and Werner Walti, newly arrived in Aberdeen, boards the Edinburgh train. Back in Banffshire, coastguards on the beach between Port Gordon and Buckie are hauling ashore a rubber raft, near where the Gollachy Burn enters Spey Bay.

    Beach at Gollachy, CC Gordon James Brown.Rubber raft retrieved from Spey Bay. © National Museums of Scotland

    Peter Perfect arrives in Buckie to be presented with the raft, and with Vera Erikson now claiming to be Vera de Cottain Chalbur, that her companion is a German agent that she is to guide to London, and that if Perfect will only phone Captain King in London, he will vouch for her.

    Vera Schalburg

    Vera also reveals that there’s another spy on the loose in northern Scotland! A search of the shore turns up his foreign-made rubber boots. A full-blown spy hunt swings in to operation. It’s not long before staff at Buckpool and Buckie station are telling of their curious passenger “Which way did he go?” To Aberdeen. The phone wires buzz once more and soon the Police in that city question the station staff there. Yes, a man answering that description got off the late-running 1004 from Buckie and yes, he joined the lunchtime express to Edinburgh. He doesn’t know it yet, but the noose is silently tightening around Werner Walti’s neck. But for now he is free, and on arriving at Waverley he leaves his suitcase at left luggage and heads off into the city. 40 minutes later, the telephone rings at Police HQ in Edinburgh.

    1 Parliament Square, former Edinburgh City Police Chambers.

    It is now 10 past 5 in the evening, and Detective Superintendent William Merrilees, head of CID, is furious that he is only just finding out now that he has a spy on the loose in his city. Every spare man is at once sent out to make enquiries, Merrilees himself heads to Waverley station.

    William Merrilees.

    Merrilees is a policeman with a fearsome reputation. A former shipyard worker, “Wee Willie” is comically short, missing the fingers on his left hand and is completely fearless. A one-time prize boxer, with a “fist like a stone mallet”, he strikes first and asks questions later. He is patient in a stakeout and a master of disguise, having honed his skills in the city’s vice squad tackling “shebeening”, street prostitution, flashers and high class brothels. He also waged an uncompromising, self-declared one-man “war on homosexuality” in the city.

    At Waverley, the police quickly track down Walti’s suitcase, it is damn, and has traces of sand and salt on it. A board attendant is found who had carried it there for a passenger – a porter’s job – in the hope of a tip, and describes the owner as matching the man at Buckie. Merrilees wastes no more time and forces the case open to reveal a wireless transmitter. That is all the evidence he needs, and he fills the station with plainclothes officers, pairing them up with WVS women so that they look less conspicuous.

    Werner Walti’s wireless suitcase transmitter. © IWM (COM 1500)

    He himself finds a suitably short railway porter – Thomas Ferguson – and borrows his uniform. He and the board attendant – Thomas Cameron, aged 17 -take up position near the left luggage counter and wait. And wait. And wait, for three long hours.

    William Merilees with Walti’s suitcase and the uniform of a railway porter

    A few minutes before 9PM, a hesitant Werner Walti starts down Waverley Steps towards the station. He has wandered the cold, damp city for hours, blending in with the crowds. He has looked in the windows of numerous restaurants, and although he is hungry he feels too sick to eat.

    Waverley Steps in 1943. This is photograph D 15665 from the collections of the Imperial War Museums.

    In the station, Walti lingers near the left luggage office for a few minutes. Is that porter looking at him? He spots the board attendant who had helped him earlier that day and – piqued with a temporary confidence – he strides up to the desk to reclaim his suitcase.

    Edinburgh Waverley station by night. CC-SA 4.0, Lorna M Campbell

    As he does so, it is no porter who accosts him, it is “Wee Willie” Merilees, who is quickly joined by fellow detectives of the Edinburgh Police: Detective Lieutenant Cormack, Detective Inspector Sutherland and Detective Sergeant Swan. Thinking they have disarmed their suspect, they turn their attention to his possessions, held in a small briefcase; Walti has other ideas and pulls a concealed knife on his captors, but he is quickly disarmed by Constable McCowan and Reservist Fair. With the suspect now properly restrained, they turn back to his briefcase and possessions. Every item is more incriminating than the rest. There is more pistol ammunition; £190 in Bank if England Notes; a British ID card; a forged Swiss passport with no immigration stamps.

    Walti’s forged Swiss passport © National Museums of Scotland

    There is a compass; various pills; 11 maps of Scotland and England, marking “Flugplatz” (airfields) and overprinted with Luftwaffe target grids. There are code books and there is a sheaf of graph paper marked the property of the Commanding Officer of the Luftwaffe in Norway!

    Description of possessions seized from Werner Walti by the Police, from his official case file. Crown Copyright, National Archives KV 2/1704

    Walti and his “My First German Spy Kit” are bundled into the nearest vehicle – an Ambulance – and taken to Police Headquarters. Before it had ever got going, Operation Brummer 1 Nord has been nipped in the bud by the Railwaymen of Banffshire and the Scottish Polis. So who were these three damp, unhappy individuals who appeared to have washed up on the north coast of Scotland without a clue and without a hope? And how did they come to be there? Winding the clock back 24hrs and crossing the North Sea to Stavanger in occupied Norway, 3 individuals, Robert Petter (AKA Werner Walti), Karl Drücke (AKA Francois de Deeker) and Vera Schalburg (AKA Vera Ericson) climb the ladder from a small boat into a Luftwaffe He 115 seaplane

    Finnish air force Heinkel He 115A on lake Höytiäinen. August 1941. PD

    Things were already not going well. The weather has put them a few days behind schedule and all are sore; last night the car they were in crashed and their companion and leader – Abwehr agent Capt. Hans Dierks lies dead on a Norwegian mortuary slab as a result. A few hours later and a few hundred miles across the North Sea, they clamber into their inflatable boat on the dark, choppy waters of Spey Bay. 3 bicycles follow from the plane and – threatening to swap the dinghy – are promptly tossed overboard, as the seaplane takes off for Norway

    They are dropped near the coast, but with only folding paddles and working against the wind and currents it takes them four hours to get near enough to the shore to wade onto the beach, wet and bedraggled and with no bicycles and no clue where they are. Shivering on the beach, they share a quick snack of apples and some German sausage and decide to split up on foot and find railway stations. Walti heads east for Buckpool; de Deeker and Ericson head west for Port Gordon.

    OS 1:25,000 map, 1938-55, showing Port Gordon and Buckpool. The spies came ashore near the burn almost halfway between each village.

    Less than 24 hours later, all three find themselves reunited in unfortunate circumstances at Edinburgh Police HQ, about to head south under armed guard to face Lt. Col. W. Edward Hinchley-Cooke, the German-educated top interrogator of the British Secret Service.

    Lt. Col. William Edward Hinchley-Cooke

    In London, shortly thereafter, the printing presses of the “Daily Herald” will clatter into action and print a front-page story that will ultimately seal the fate of two of the three agents. They are the only paper to print it, and they never should have.

    Daily Herald, 2nd October, 1940

    Under interrogation, de Deeker (Drücke) gives up little. It’s not that he is a master at resisting Hinchley-Cooke’s inquisition, it’s just that he has very little to tell. Walti is similarly uncooperative, but eventually gives a statement in German to confirm how he arrived.

    Transcript of Walti’s statement, from his official case file. Crown Copyright, National Archives KV 2/1704

    One interesting fact that Hinchley-Cooke extracts from Walti is the codeword he was to give his handler in London – “I am coming from Glasgow”. Walti can have no idea that his handler was SNOW, a chain-smoking Welsh Nationalist and a British double agent. Vera Erikson, aka de Cottain Chalbur, aka Schalburg on the other hand is talking for her life. The Captain King that she asked Peter Perfect to contact is none other than Max Knight, head of MI5’s counter-subversion division. Max Knight is none other than they legendary “M”. Before the war, Vera – a Russian exile – had worked in a Mayfair hairdressers and had been on the payroll of “M”, passing on low-grade society gossip picked up during her work. She is of little real intelligence value, but is desperate to save her neck and agrees to cooperate.

    A secret memo soon seals the fate of Walti. As the press has already blown his existence, and as he is uncooperative and possibly suicidal, it is decided to make an example of him and hand him over to Capt. Hancock-Nunn, for prosecution under the Treachery Act, 1940.

    Memo deciding to hand Walti over for prosecution. Crown Copyright, National Archives KV 2/1704

    de Deeker is even less helpful than Walti and is given the same fate. Both are sent to the ominous sounding Camp 020 to await trial. They say little at Bow Street Magistrate’s Court when they are charged; without legal representation and understanding little of what was happening. In June 1941, both are tried by jury infront of Justice Cyril Asquith. Both enter a plea of not guilty. The trial is paused for a day as both Asquith and the Solicitor General are unhappy that neither man have legal representation, and agree they should have it.

    Werner Walti’s photo from his official case file. Crown Copyright, National Archives KV 2/1704

    The court agrees to pay for barristers for each man out of the reams of notes confiscated off of them by the Scottish police – currently sitting amongst the exhibits in that very court room. Walti will be represented by J. C. Whitebrook. An attempt at a fair trial is made – but neither defendant helps themselves and both repeatedly contradict and perjure themselves, perhaps due to their lack of comprehension of the language and what is actually happening. On June 16th 1941, both are found guilty. Appeals fail. A simple note inserted in Walti’s file records his fate. de Deeker suffers the same. The hangman is Albert Pierrepoint, who will hang 15 German spies during the war and post-war, Lord Haw-Haw and 226 Nazi war-criminals

    File note on the fate of Werner Walti. Crown Copyright, National Archives KV 2/1704

    Vera Schalburg saves herself by talking freely and readily agrees to be “turned”, thus becomes a double-agent. She is sent into internment on the Isle of Man to spy on her fellow captives. Here she will contract pneumonia, from which she will die after the war in Hamburg aged 31.

    Illustration by an internee of the camp on Douglas promenade, drawn by an internee © Manx National Heritage Library and Archives

    In 1942, the Edinburgh Evening News is given permission to print 3 simple paragraphs referring to the fate of Werner Walti. His file in the National Archive records that repeated requests by the paper to run the full story are turned down by MI5, well into the 1950s.

    Edinburgh Evening News – Friday 13 March 1942

    The Operation Brummer missions were an unmitigated, amateurish failure. As is Operation Lena – the overarching German mission to insert agents into Britain. Operation Sealion, the invasion for which they are meant to gather intelligence, will never take place.

    Official German map from Operation Sealion planning. © IWM Documents 11929

    Abwehr’s bumbling spying attempts against Britain were a complete disaster. Every single agent they sent was captured and either executed or turned under the Double-Cross System, which did untold, irreparable damage to the Nazi war effort.

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    #Lochend #Logan #Restalrig #StMargaret

    #buckie #crime #edinburgh #espionage #german #navalmilitary
19. 

    Tom MacInnes @[email protected] · 2026-02-04 · 18:09 UTC

    Places, Everyone!…Music Venue #23/25: The First Avenue Nightclub in Minneapolis, Minnesota

    I have always loved living near the water. That is funny to say because I am not a mariner, nor do I like most seafood and I have never learned how to swim. And yet, there is just something about being by water that soothes my soul. Perhaps that has something to do with the fact that I was born in Glace Bay, Nova Scotia, Canada on the shores of the Atlantic Ocean. My entire childhood was framed by the sea, the smell of fish, the taste and feel of the salt air, the sound of the foghorn and the various shades of blue that the ocean liked to drape itself in depending on its mood. 

    As I matured, I moved inland to Ontario. I now live on the shores of Lake Ontario. While not as vast a body of water as the one I grew up beside, Lake Ontario is one of the five Great Lakes and is still of a size suitable for influencing the type of weather we receive. In my town of Cobourg, Ontario, we have a beautiful beach. I have often found myself at this beach. On such occasions I have been prone to gazing out across the water. On a clear day you can see the smoke from the factories that line the American side of the Lake in Rochester, New York. A few years ago, for a mini family vacation, we decided to circumnavigate Lake Ontario to, quite literally, see what was on the other side. Rochester turned out to be the American version of my neighbouring Ontario city, Oshawa; big enough to have some interesting spots but small enough to see most of what merits seeing in a day or two. Just before leaving Rochester, we stopped at their version of a beautiful beach so that I could gaze across Lake Ontario to see if I could see our home. I could not. But I waved anyway and off we drove to Niagara Falls and back into Ontario. 

    Your author, in Rochester, NY, waving across Lake Ontario to Canada.

    The next obvious iteration of that trip would be to circumnavigate all five Great Lakes. That would take us to such well known cities as Cleveland, Detroit, Chicago, Milwaukee, Green Bay, Minneapolis and then off to Duluth on the western tip of Lake Superior, before heading back across the border into Canada at Thunder Bay. In order to do that trip properly, we would need approximately two weeks, which is a lot of time to spend driving in a car beside the water. But I would happily do it because of the siren song of the Lakes and of how familiar and comfortable life would seem in towns and cities whose citizens are lucky enough to be lulled to sleep each night by the sound of waves lapping onto their shores. As a family, our journey would undoubtedly be filled with eating at Lakeside patios, hiking on trails that border the water and staying at accommodations that had a “water view”. Many of those cities mentioned earlier have lots to offer in the way of museums, sporting teams, world class restaurants and excellent shopping. But for me, if I was making this trip purely based upon my own selfish desires, the trip would be one built completely around music. I would visit the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland. From there, it would be Motown in Detroit and the Blues filled venues of Chicago. And as I left Chicago and began heading north, up the western coast of Lake Michigan, I would veer slightly west and make sure that I hit the twin cities of Minneapolis/St. Paul in which there exists, as many of you may know, a rich musical history that features many noteworthy local artists and bands such as The Replacements, Husker Du, Soul Asylum, Semisonic, Babes in Toyland, Sugar, Morris Day and the Time and, of course, a certain someone you may have heard of called Prince 

    The music scene in Minneapolis is strong and varied, featuring acts that gained fame, most notably, in the genres of rock, punk/hardcore, pop and funk. Despite the diversity in musical interests held by musicians in the Twin Cities, one of the things that they all had in common was that they inevitably ended up playing at a musical venue known (by various names throughout its history) as The First Avenue Nightclub. If you have watched the movie Purple Rain featuring Prince and Morris Day and the Time then you have seen the inside of The First Avenue Nightclub because that was where all of the battle of the bands scenes were filmed. More recently, if you happened to watch a video of Bruce Springsteen debuting a song “The Streets of MInneapolis” that he had written about the government-initiated violence that is currently plaguing the city then, you have seen the inside of The First Avenue Nightclub because that was where the Boss played that night. Just about every artist and band of note that have toured through the Twin Cities played on the stage at First Avenue. From a historical and cultural perspective, it is fair to say that The First Avenue Nightclub holds the same level of significance as other nightclubs such as The Whiskey a go-go in Los Angeles and CBGBs in New York, just to mention two other iconic venues.

    The First Avenue Nightclub was originally built to serve as a Greyhound bus terminal. When it turned into a music venue, the bus terminal’s large waiting room transformed into the dance floor and stage area. The former bus terminal restaurant was made into a second, smaller club called 7th Street Entry. It was in this smaller venue that newer, local bands cut their teeth and honed their skills before graduating to the main room in the First Avenue side of the club. As mentioned earlier, as the bus terminal became a music venue, there were several periods of transition that saw name changes, ownership changes, as well as stylistic changes when it came to the music played there. In the 1970s, the club was most initially successful as a discotheque. As the 1970s ended and the national music scene began to change with it, Minneapolis became known as the new home of funk, featuring acts such as Morris Day and the Time, producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis and a diminutive young man named Prince Rogers Nelson, who exploded onto the world’s stage simply as Prince. Prince had a recording studio in Minneapolis known as Paisley Park where he would create all manner of songs with his band The Revolution. Whenever Prince wanted to give his new music a test run in front of a live audience, he would call up the folks who ran The First Avenue Nightclub and request the use of their stage. Thus, for a while, it was quite common for patrons to arrive for a regular evening of dancing and fun, only to have Prince and the Revolution suddenly appear on stage as a surprise act. It was also quite common for Prince to come to the club incognito to watch other bands, especially the emerging harcore/punk bands such as Husker Du and The Replacements. Thus, it was during the time when Prince began to gain fame on a national level that some would compare to Michael Jackson himself that he pitched a movie based loosely on his life called Purple Rain. Once given the go ahead for filming, it was a no brainer to have the live musical scenes filmed at The First Avenue Nightclub. Among the videos that I will soon post below, I will include a couple from the movie. The success of Purple Rain proved to be both a blessing and a curse for those who lived in Minneapolis and viewed First Avenue as their own private musical oasis. The blessing was that it brought fans of the movie from all over the world to Minneapolis so that they could visit the club, take photos and souvenirs from it and hopefully meet the increasingly reclusive Prince. The curse was that fans of the movie from all over the world came to Minneapolis to go to the club simply because of what they saw on film. They often had no interest in the local bands who might be playing on any given night, nor did they care about the history of the building or its cultural place in the heart of the community. In fact, First Avenue became such a tourist destination that local patrons began staying away in disgust. Luckily/sadly, as curses and blessings tend to go, the situation at The First Avenue Nightclub began to stabilize after Prince became more reclusive and his career entered a period of commercial decline prior to his death. In reality, Prince had simply recoiled away from the enormous attention he was receiving and shifted his focus to his home life and his studio work. There is indeed a price to be paid for fame. Like most people and/or trends that explode onto the national scene, the Minnesota scene in general, and Prince specifically, both ebbed into the background of the world’s consciousness. After the dizzying heights of Prince and The Revolution, Minneapolis became known for its punk/hardcore scene with The Replacements and Husker Du. From there, some rock-oriented bands like Semisonic and Soul Asylum became the standard bearers for the city’s musical scene. 

    Prince, onstage at the Minneapolis nightclub First Avenue, in a scene from the film Purple Rain.

    Today, Minneapolis is known for the violence that is plaguing the city under the bootheels of an organization known as I.C.E. Not surprisingly, while neighbours were helping neighbours and entire communities were rallying to defend each other and stand up to the scourge of I.C.E., it was a music concert that helped buoy the spirits of a citizenry under siege. Tom Morello, one of the founders of legendary rock band Rage Against the Machine, stepped up and helped to organize a fundraiser for the city. This concert took place at the only place it could have, really and that was The First Avenue Nightclub, the home of Minneapolis’ musical heart. Morello played, as did members of punk band Rise Against, as did, of course, the man himself, Bruce Springsteen. His song, “The Streets of Minneapolis” has instantly risen to the top of the music charts and is helping to give hope to a downtrodden nation that perhaps, just perhaps, the people do have some semblance of power and that the rise of authoritarianism may be halted yet. Time will tell. But if that proves to be the case then a lot of credit must go to those who took to the stage of The First Avenue Nightclub in support of those standing tall in the streets of Minneapolis.

    Bruce Springsteen and Tom Morello perform on the First Avenue stage in Minneapolis at the anti-I.C.E. music benefit concert.

    Sometimes a song is just a song and music is simply the background soundtrack to the kindling of new romance or the drowning of old sorrows. But much like the sound of the sea is for me, music is something that is generally woven in the fabric of our beings and into the culture of the places in which it is played. Venues like The First Avenue Nightclub tend to be far more than bricks and mortar and, instead, serve as town squares, of a sort, where people who care about that place come to gather and talk and celebrate and share in what it means to live where they do. Venues such as First Avenue and 7th Street Entry are often the heartbeats of their communities. It is in that light that I would like to travel around the Great Lakes, all the way to Minneapolis and St. Paul. I would not go there as a Prince-crazed tourist but instead, to soak in a tiny bit of the atmosphere of a place that has borne witness to so many truly extraordinary events. I hold a lot of respect for the sea and I do so as well for those places where history has unfolded in ways that time will never forget. For that reason, my Great Lakes odyssey will be one marked by music and, in doing so, I will find myself where I want to be….not far from the water, surrounded by music. Sounds like paradise to me.

    Below, I am going to provide links to several notable live performances held at The First Avenue Nightclub. In many cases, these videos are parts of larger sets or, in some cases, an entire concert. As always, you can choose to watch as much or as little as you like. By searching on YouTube, you can easily find all sorts of additional material, including many full length concerts, documentaries and so on. I will start you off as follows and you can go from there as you see fit.

    -The link to the video that shows Tom Morello and band playing “Killing In The Name” at the beginning of the recent Minneapolis anti-I.C.E. benefit concert can be found here. Morello gives an excellent rally-the-troops speech off of the top. The audience participation is excellent. This is definitely a meaningful moment for all involved. It is much more than a simple rock concert song being played. ***Highly recommended viewing!!!

    -The link to a video that shows Prince in 1983 in his prime performing the song “Little Red Corvette” can be found here. The video quality isn’t the best because of poor lighting for most of the song but the sound quality is fine. Enjoy a superstar going full throttle in his local club.

    -The link to a video showing The Replacements performing “Takin’ a Ride” on the 7th Street Entry stage can be found here. Excellent video quality for fans of a punk band just hitting its stride. This video is one of six in a complete musical set that was performed that night. 

    -The link to a video that shows Husker Du performing “Girl Who Lives on Heaven Hill” on the same 7th Street Entry stage as The Replacements, who they followed that same night, can be found here. Excellent historical moment in the story of punk and hardcore.

    -The link to a video by Echo and the Bunnymen performing “Killing Moon” can be found here. Terrific sound quality on this one! They may not be a Minnesota band but, what the heck, it’s “Killing Moon” so, there you go.

    -The link to a video by Trampled By Turtles performing “Midnight On The Interstate” can be found here. This is a lovely, sweet song which stands in contrast to much of what I have posted so far. This video was part of a live album the band recorded that night from the stage of First Avenue. If you don’t know the band, this video is an excellent entry point.

    -The link to the video by Morris Day and the Time called “Jungle Love” can be found here. This clip is from the movie Purple Rain and shows the band performing on the stage at First Avenue.

    -The link to the video by Prince of the song “Purple Rain” can be found here. This, too, is taken from the movie Purple Rain and shows the inside of the First Avenue Nightclub.

    -And finally, while there are thousands of videos that you can watch by searching on YouTube for “Live from First Avenue”, I will close with a final one that is the current, most popular performance from the iconic stage of The First Avenue Nightclub and that is the one by Bruce Springsteen of his new song “The Streets of Minneapolis” which can be found here. If there was ever a case of a song being more than a song and a moment being more than a regular moment then this performance is it. Well done Bruce! Well done people of Minneapolis!

    -If you want to learn more about the First Avenue Nightclub or if you may even want to visit it one day, the link to its official website can be found here. 

    
    ***As always, all original content contained within this post remains the sole property of the author. No portion of this post shall be reblogged, copied or shared in any manner without the express written consent of the author. ©2026 http://www.tommacinneswriter.com

    #FirstAvenueNightClub #HuskerDu #Minneapolis #Music #PlacesEveryone #Prince #TheReplacements

    #thereplacements #prince #placeseveryone #music #minneapolis #huskerdu
20. 

    Sharon A. Hill @[email protected] · 2024-08-08 · 00:09 UTC

    Triangle Trope of Vermont: Bennington

    Vermont’s Bennington Triangle is my first stop on the Triangle Trope Trip this year. See also I Survived the Bermuda Triangle. And for a deep dive into the history of how these places became known, check out Paranormal Vortex Areas.

    Glastenbury Mountain

    On my way back from Vermont earlier this year, we passed Bennington and its infamous Glastenbury mountain, which has accrued a reputation as a spooky area hosting an array of supernatural and generally weird phenomena.

    This reputation was boosted by real life tragedies, but also by writers and media producers who lumped events together, exaggerated some, made up others, and molded a contrived narrative. Their efforts enhanced and popularized the legends, eventually consolidating the package as the ‘Bennington Triangle.’

    I did not have the chance to stop and explore Glastenbury, a lost village and rugged mountain that is likely named after Glastonbury, Somerset, England, though not spelled the same. The tiny town, now abandoned, had poor rocky soil and harsh winters, though it did manage to eek out an existence for a while in the mid 1800s. The railroad carried lumber and charcoal from the location to Bennington. But Glastenbury, Vermont only lasted 103 years, until 1937 when the trees had all been cut and last ditch efforts at tourism failed. The village lost its railroad line to flooding which scuttled any remaining potential and heralded its turn into a “ghost town”. It was unincorporated for lack of residents. (See also Glastenbury: A history of a Vermont ghost town by Tyler Resch, 2008)

    Part of the Appalachian Trail, called The Long Trail through Vermont, passes over the Glastenbury mountain. From what I’ve gathered, trails through the old town and the mountain are not well-marked and a traveler could easily become lost. Haunted Hikes writer Andrea Lankford labels the 21-mile Glastenbury Loop as a ‘strenuous’ route today rising 2000 ft in elevation, not recommended for amateurs, with primitive roads and few rough shelters for bad weather. It’s a rugged environment, so, it’s not a wonder that several people have disappeared in the area, never to be found. The several disappearances, which were never fully explained, contributed mightily to the manufactured idea that the area, and the mountain in particular, was cursed and dangerous.

    The Disappearances

    In 1946, Paula Welden, a student of Bennington College, which was an all-women’s school at the time, disappeared after going for a hike one December day. She was never found. Welden’s disappearance was the most famous one of six supposed incidents. It was preceded by the vanishing of experienced but elderly outdoorsman Middie Rivers in 1945, and followed by a cluster of mysterious missing persons in 1950: eight-year old Paul Jepson went missing from a truck, Frances Christman and Frieda Langer disappeared within days of each other. Langer’s body was later discovered seven months later in an area around her campsite that had been previously thoroughly searched. Her cause of death was never determined. In November of 1950, Martha Jones disappeared after supposedly hitchhiking. One of the weirdest tales is that of James Tetford who was said to have vanished from a bus from St. Albans to Bennington in 1949. That is, he got on but never got off. This story has been greatly exaggerated, as it was many days before it was noticed that he didn’t return home. You won’t hear that part on paranormal media because it ruins the mystery.

    It seems plausible that the disappearances in this localized area of Vermont inspired various fictional tales of haunted mountains. Weldon’s story, in particular, was loosely tied to the novel Hangsaman by author Shirley Jackson. Jackson lived in Bennington where her husband was a professor; she later became renowned for her uncanny tales including the shocking short story The Lottery and the short novel Haunting of Hill House, which was made into movies and a series. I recently finished a biography of Jackson (Shirley Jackson: A Rather Haunted Life by Ruth Franklin) in which little mention was made of any unsettling characteristics of the Bennington area except for the way she was treated by the insular community.

    Mystery mongers

    In 1992, author and storyteller Joseph Citro described the area around Glastenbury mountain and Bennington where the disappearances and other strange tales had been reported as the “Bennington Triangle”. He admitted in the book Weird New England (p. 74) that he “swiped” the term Triangle because of the mysterious association (presumably with the Bermuda Triangle). Citro, who is not a trained folklorist, also popularized other spooky tales such as that of UFOs, hauntings, hairy monsters, portals to other dimensions, and man eating rocks. (I will try and treat that Spooky Geology topic at another time.) Reading Citro’s writing, he plays at mystery mongering, a characteristic that genuine folklore scholars would not exhibit. If the disappearances were not supernatural, he suggests, perhaps they were the work of a serial killer dubbed the Bennington Ripper or Mad Murderer of the Long Trail. There is no solid evidence for this but became a popular idea for discussion for armchair true-crime fans.

    As happens with difficult or unique places, insinuations were made that the natives claimed the mountain was cursed and that unexplained lights and sounds emanated from it. The origins of such tales are dubious, but often repeated, nevertheless. The strange stories are often connected directly to Glastenbury mountain and town, which did have some history of violent crimes and murders. However, many of the publicized incidents didn’t happen on the mountain.

    Monster tales

    Man-like monster stories also became attached to the area. Numerous residents reported a “wild man” terrorized the people of Bennington and Glastenbury around 1867. Witnesses reported an unkempt naked man in a coat flashed residents and waved a pistol before hiding in the forest. Rumor was that he existed among the boulder caves. Incredibly, this story later seemed to morph into Bigfoot lore. There is considerable reason not to read this as a Bigfoot tale but that didn’t stop people conflating the story and creating the Bennington Monster. Various internet and book sources reference an account of a stagecoach in the 1800s halted by a washed out road. The coach was attacked by a large creature with glowing red eyes. Another tale was popularized by Ripley’s Believe It or Not (so I am rather inclined towards “not”) where a man named Carol Herrick was found dead in the woods in 1943 having been “squeezed to death and his body surrounded by huge footprints.” This was also associated with the Bennington Monster. I’d be grateful if people who knew anything about that story could supply a credible source. A few people have also claimed to have heard animal screams in the woods at night or having seen the typical hair-covered tall bipedal creatures as recently as the early 2000s

    None of these claims, however, stand up to any scrutiny. In my admittedly cursory searches for legitimate sources of these accounts, I found the usual copy-paste efforts of paranormal web pages replete with mistaken spellings and attributions. The intent of the stories is to feed into the paranormal spirt of place and to bolster the lore of a paranormal “Triangle” area. Some exaggerated and poorly researched YouTube features even compare the Bennington Triangle to areas in the Western US known as supernatural hot spots like the Uinta Basin in Utah, home of Skinwalker Ranch.

    The Bennington “square”?

    Other than the fact that some people did actually disappear and were presumed dead, very little evidence supports the overreaching paranormal and monstrous claims made by mystery mongers promoting the Bennington Triangle. The events from 1945 to 1950 and those fore and aft were connected and judged to be significant by one person, Joe Citro, who sensationalized the events and native legends. Heck, it’s not even close to being a triangle!

    As with other paranormal “triangle” areas, we can see the accretion of additional reports and facts that are added simply due to proximity. In this case, the abandonment of Glastenbury along with unfortunate human and natural events that seem to be due to social and environmental circumstances, fed into the supernatural themes that became popular fodder for the TV shows, podcasts and self-made videos from the late 90s to the present. Notably, the events of the Bennington Triangle are mostly in the past, as no recent events are attributed to it. However, we can guarantee that the preexisting framing allows any strange event that takes place in the vicinity to be conveniently hanged onto the body of tales and add to its mystique.

    Here is Part 1 & 2 of a short documentary featuring local historians.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdyysF0VC20

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBPMp8H3x3w

    More:

    • The Triangle Trope
    • I Survived the Bermuda Triangle
    • Paranormal Vortex Areas

    #BenningtonTriangle #Bigfoot #folklore #ghostTown #GlastenburyMountain #mysteriousDisappearances #Paranormal #paranormalVortex #ShirleyJackson #unsolvedMysteries #vermont #windowArea

    https://sharonahill.com/?p=8701

    #benningtontriangle #bigfoot #folklore #ghosttown #glastenburymountain #mysteriousdisappearances
21. 

    Sharon A. Hill @[email protected] · 2024-08-08 · 00:09 UTC

    Triangle Trope of Vermont: Bennington

    Vermont’s Bennington Triangle is my first stop on the Triangle Trope Trip this year. See also I Survived the Bermuda Triangle. And for a deep dive into the history of how these places became known, check out Paranormal Vortex Areas.

    Glastenbury Mountain

    On my way back from Vermont earlier this year, we passed Bennington and its infamous Glastenbury mountain, which has accrued a reputation as a spooky area hosting an array of supernatural and generally weird phenomena.

    This reputation was boosted by real life tragedies, but also by writers and media producers who lumped events together, exaggerated some, made up others, and molded a contrived narrative. Their efforts enhanced and popularized the legends, eventually consolidating the package as the ‘Bennington Triangle.’

    I did not have the chance to stop and explore Glastenbury, a lost village and rugged mountain that is likely named after Glastonbury, Somerset, England, though not spelled the same. The tiny town, now abandoned, had poor rocky soil and harsh winters, though it did manage to eek out an existence for a while in the mid 1800s. The railroad carried lumber and charcoal from the location to Bennington. But Glastenbury, Vermont only lasted 103 years, until 1937 when the trees had all been cut and last ditch efforts at tourism failed. The village lost its railroad line to flooding which scuttled any remaining potential and heralded its turn into a “ghost town”. It was unincorporated for lack of residents. (See also Glastenbury: A history of a Vermont ghost town by Tyler Resch, 2008)

    Part of the Appalachian Trail, called The Long Trail through Vermont, passes over the Glastenbury mountain. From what I’ve gathered, trails through the old town and the mountain are not well-marked and a traveler could easily become lost. Haunted Hikes writer Andrea Lankford labels the 21-mile Glastenbury Loop as a ‘strenuous’ route today rising 2000 ft in elevation, not recommended for amateurs, with primitive roads and few rough shelters for bad weather. It’s a rugged environment, so, it’s not a wonder that several people have disappeared in the area, never to be found. The several disappearances, which were never fully explained, contributed mightily to the manufactured idea that the area, and the mountain in particular, was cursed and dangerous.

    The Disappearances

    In 1946, Paula Welden, a student of Bennington College, which was an all-women’s school at the time, disappeared after going for a hike one December day. She was never found. Welden’s disappearance was the most famous one of six supposed incidents. It was preceded by the vanishing of experienced but elderly outdoorsman Middie Rivers in 1945, and followed by a cluster of mysterious missing persons in 1950: eight-year old Paul Jepson went missing from a truck, Frances Christman and Frieda Langer disappeared within days of each other. Langer’s body was later discovered seven months later in an area around her campsite that had been previously thoroughly searched. Her cause of death was never determined. In November of 1950, Martha Jones disappeared after supposedly hitchhiking. One of the weirdest tales is that of James Tetford who was said to have vanished from a bus from St. Albans to Bennington in 1949. That is, he got on but never got off. This story has been greatly exaggerated, as it was many days before it was noticed that he didn’t return home. You won’t hear that part on paranormal media because it ruins the mystery.

    It seems plausible that the disappearances in this localized area of Vermont inspired various fictional tales of haunted mountains. Weldon’s story, in particular, was loosely tied to the novel Hangsaman by author Shirley Jackson. Jackson lived in Bennington where her husband was a professor; she later became renowned for her uncanny tales including the shocking short story The Lottery and the short novel Haunting of Hill House, which was made into movies and a series. I recently finished a biography of Jackson (Shirley Jackson: A Rather Haunted Life by Ruth Franklin) in which little mention was made of any unsettling characteristics of the Bennington area except for the way she was treated by the insular community.

    Mystery mongers

    In 1992, author and storyteller Joseph Citro described the area around Glastenbury mountain and Bennington where the disappearances and other strange tales had been reported as the “Bennington Triangle”. He admitted in the book Weird New England (p. 74) that he “swiped” the term Triangle because of the mysterious association (presumably with the Bermuda Triangle). Citro, who is not a trained folklorist, also popularized other spooky tales such as that of UFOs, hauntings, hairy monsters, portals to other dimensions, and man eating rocks. (I will try and treat that Spooky Geology topic at another time.) Reading Citro’s writing, he plays at mystery mongering, a characteristic that genuine folklore scholars would not exhibit. If the disappearances were not supernatural, he suggests, perhaps they were the work of a serial killer dubbed the Bennington Ripper or Mad Murderer of the Long Trail. There is no solid evidence for this but became a popular idea for discussion for armchair true-crime fans.

    As happens with difficult or unique places, insinuations were made that the natives claimed the mountain was cursed and that unexplained lights and sounds emanated from it. The origins of such tales are dubious, but often repeated, nevertheless. The strange stories are often connected directly to Glastenbury mountain and town, which did have some history of violent crimes and murders. However, many of the publicized incidents didn’t happen on the mountain.

    Monster tales

    Man-like monster stories also became attached to the area. Numerous residents reported a “wild man” terrorized the people of Bennington and Glastenbury around 1867. Witnesses reported an unkempt naked man in a coat flashed residents and waved a pistol before hiding in the forest. Rumor was that he existed among the boulder caves. Incredibly, this story later seemed to morph into Bigfoot lore. There is considerable reason not to read this as a Bigfoot tale but that didn’t stop people conflating the story and creating the Bennington Monster. Various internet and book sources reference an account of a stagecoach in the 1800s halted by a washed out road. The coach was attacked by a large creature with glowing red eyes. Another tale was popularized by Ripley’s Believe It or Not (so I am rather inclined towards “not”) where a man named Carol Herrick was found dead in the woods in 1943 having been “squeezed to death and his body surrounded by huge footprints.” This was also associated with the Bennington Monster. I’d be grateful if people who knew anything about that story could supply a credible source. A few people have also claimed to have heard animal screams in the woods at night or having seen the typical hair-covered tall bipedal creatures as recently as the early 2000s

    None of these claims, however, stand up to any scrutiny. In my admittedly cursory searches for legitimate sources of these accounts, I found the usual copy-paste efforts of paranormal web pages replete with mistaken spellings and attributions. The intent of the stories is to feed into the paranormal spirt of place and to bolster the lore of a paranormal “Triangle” area. Some exaggerated and poorly researched YouTube features even compare the Bennington Triangle to areas in the Western US known as supernatural hot spots like the Uinta Basin in Utah, home of Skinwalker Ranch.

    The Bennington “square”?

    Other than the fact that some people did actually disappear and were presumed dead, very little evidence supports the overreaching paranormal and monstrous claims made by mystery mongers promoting the Bennington Triangle. The events from 1945 to 1950 and those fore and aft were connected and judged to be significant by one person, Joe Citro, who sensationalized the events and native legends. Heck, it’s not even close to being a triangle!

    As with other paranormal “triangle” areas, we can see the accretion of additional reports and facts that are added simply due to proximity. In this case, the abandonment of Glastenbury along with unfortunate human and natural events that seem to be due to social and environmental circumstances, fed into the supernatural themes that became popular fodder for the TV shows, podcasts and self-made videos from the late 90s to the present. Notably, the events of the Bennington Triangle are mostly in the past, as no recent events are attributed to it. However, we can guarantee that the preexisting framing allows any strange event that takes place in the vicinity to be conveniently hanged onto the body of tales and add to its mystique.

    Here is Part 1 & 2 of a short documentary featuring local historians.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdyysF0VC20

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBPMp8H3x3w

    More:

    • The Triangle Trope
    • I Survived the Bermuda Triangle
    • Paranormal Vortex Areas

    #BenningtonTriangle #Bigfoot #folklore #ghostTown #GlastenburyMountain #mysteriousDisappearances #Paranormal #paranormalVortex #ShirleyJackson #unsolvedMysteries #vermont #windowArea

    https://sharonahill.com/?p=8701

    #benningtontriangle #bigfoot #folklore #ghosttown #glastenburymountain #mysteriousdisappearances
22. 

    Sharon A. Hill @[email protected] · 2024-08-08 · 00:09 UTC

    Triangle Trope of Vermont: Bennington

    Vermont’s Bennington Triangle is my first stop on the Triangle Trope Trip this year. See also I Survived the Bermuda Triangle. And for a deep dive into the history of how these places became known, check out Paranormal Vortex Areas.

    Glastenbury Mountain

    On my way back from Vermont earlier this year, we passed Bennington and its infamous Glastenbury mountain, which has accrued a reputation as a spooky area hosting an array of supernatural and generally weird phenomena.

    This reputation was boosted by real life tragedies, but also by writers and media producers who lumped events together, exaggerated some, made up others, and molded a contrived narrative. Their efforts enhanced and popularized the legends, eventually consolidating the package as the ‘Bennington Triangle.’

    I did not have the chance to stop and explore Glastenbury, a lost village and rugged mountain that is likely named after Glastonbury, Somerset, England, though not spelled the same. The tiny town, now abandoned, had poor rocky soil and harsh winters, though it did manage to eek out an existence for a while in the mid 1800s. The railroad carried lumber and charcoal from the location to Bennington. But Glastenbury, Vermont only lasted 103 years, until 1937 when the trees had all been cut and last ditch efforts at tourism failed. The village lost its railroad line to flooding which scuttled any remaining potential and heralded its turn into a “ghost town”. It was unincorporated for lack of residents. (See also Glastenbury: A history of a Vermont ghost town by Tyler Resch, 2008)

    Part of the Appalachian Trail, called The Long Trail through Vermont, passes over the Glastenbury mountain. From what I’ve gathered, trails through the old town and the mountain are not well-marked and a traveler could easily become lost. Haunted Hikes writer Andrea Lankford labels the 21-mile Glastenbury Loop as a ‘strenuous’ route today rising 2000 ft in elevation, not recommended for amateurs, with primitive roads and few rough shelters for bad weather. It’s a rugged environment, so, it’s not a wonder that several people have disappeared in the area, never to be found. The several disappearances, which were never fully explained, contributed mightily to the manufactured idea that the area, and the mountain in particular, was cursed and dangerous.

    The Disappearances

    In 1946, Paula Welden, a student of Bennington College, which was an all-women’s school at the time, disappeared after going for a hike one December day. She was never found. Welden’s disappearance was the most famous one of six supposed incidents. It was preceded by the vanishing of experienced but elderly outdoorsman Middie Rivers in 1945, and followed by a cluster of mysterious missing persons in 1950: eight-year old Paul Jepson went missing from a truck, Frances Christman and Frieda Langer disappeared within days of each other. Langer’s body was later discovered seven months later in an area around her campsite that had been previously thoroughly searched. Her cause of death was never determined. In November of 1950, Martha Jones disappeared after supposedly hitchhiking. One of the weirdest tales is that of James Tetford who was said to have vanished from a bus from St. Albans to Bennington in 1949. That is, he got on but never got off. This story has been greatly exaggerated, as it was many days before it was noticed that he didn’t return home. You won’t hear that part on paranormal media because it ruins the mystery.

    It seems plausible that the disappearances in this localized area of Vermont inspired various fictional tales of haunted mountains. Weldon’s story, in particular, was loosely tied to the novel Hangsaman by author Shirley Jackson. Jackson lived in Bennington where her husband was a professor; she later became renowned for her uncanny tales including the shocking short story The Lottery and the short novel Haunting of Hill House, which was made into movies and a series. I recently finished a biography of Jackson (Shirley Jackson: A Rather Haunted Life by Ruth Franklin) in which little mention was made of any unsettling characteristics of the Bennington area except for the way she was treated by the insular community.

    Mystery mongers

    In 1992, author and storyteller Joseph Citro described the area around Glastenbury mountain and Bennington where the disappearances and other strange tales had been reported as the “Bennington Triangle”. He admitted in the book Weird New England (p. 74) that he “swiped” the term Triangle because of the mysterious association (presumably with the Bermuda Triangle). Citro, who is not a trained folklorist, also popularized other spooky tales such as that of UFOs, hauntings, hairy monsters, portals to other dimensions, and man eating rocks. (I will try and treat that Spooky Geology topic at another time.) Reading Citro’s writing, he plays at mystery mongering, a characteristic that genuine folklore scholars would not exhibit. If the disappearances were not supernatural, he suggests, perhaps they were the work of a serial killer dubbed the Bennington Ripper or Mad Murderer of the Long Trail. There is no solid evidence for this but became a popular idea for discussion for armchair true-crime fans.

    As happens with difficult or unique places, insinuations were made that the natives claimed the mountain was cursed and that unexplained lights and sounds emanated from it. The origins of such tales are dubious, but often repeated, nevertheless. The strange stories are often connected directly to Glastenbury mountain and town, which did have some history of violent crimes and murders. However, many of the publicized incidents didn’t happen on the mountain.

    Monster tales

    Man-like monster stories also became attached to the area. Numerous residents reported a “wild man” terrorized the people of Bennington and Glastenbury around 1867. Witnesses reported an unkempt naked man in a coat flashed residents and waved a pistol before hiding in the forest. Rumor was that he existed among the boulder caves. Incredibly, this story later seemed to morph into Bigfoot lore. There is considerable reason not to read this as a Bigfoot tale but that didn’t stop people conflating the story and creating the Bennington Monster. Various internet and book sources reference an account of a stagecoach in the 1800s halted by a washed out road. The coach was attacked by a large creature with glowing red eyes. Another tale was popularized by Ripley’s Believe It or Not (so I am rather inclined towards “not”) where a man named Carol Herrick was found dead in the woods in 1943 having been “squeezed to death and his body surrounded by huge footprints.” This was also associated with the Bennington Monster. I’d be grateful if people who knew anything about that story could supply a credible source. A few people have also claimed to have heard animal screams in the woods at night or having seen the typical hair-covered tall bipedal creatures as recently as the early 2000s

    None of these claims, however, stand up to any scrutiny. In my admittedly cursory searches for legitimate sources of these accounts, I found the usual copy-paste efforts of paranormal web pages replete with mistaken spellings and attributions. The intent of the stories is to feed into the paranormal spirt of place and to bolster the lore of a paranormal “Triangle” area. Some exaggerated and poorly researched YouTube features even compare the Bennington Triangle to areas in the Western US known as supernatural hot spots like the Uinta Basin in Utah, home of Skinwalker Ranch.

    The Bennington “square”?

    Other than the fact that some people did actually disappear and were presumed dead, very little evidence supports the overreaching paranormal and monstrous claims made by mystery mongers promoting the Bennington Triangle. The events from 1945 to 1950 and those fore and aft were connected and judged to be significant by one person, Joe Citro, who sensationalized the events and native legends. Heck, it’s not even close to being a triangle!

    As with other paranormal “triangle” areas, we can see the accretion of additional reports and facts that are added simply due to proximity. In this case, the abandonment of Glastenbury along with unfortunate human and natural events that seem to be due to social and environmental circumstances, fed into the supernatural themes that became popular fodder for the TV shows, podcasts and self-made videos from the late 90s to the present. Notably, the events of the Bennington Triangle are mostly in the past, as no recent events are attributed to it. However, we can guarantee that the preexisting framing allows any strange event that takes place in the vicinity to be conveniently hanged onto the body of tales and add to its mystique.

    Here is Part 1 & 2 of a short documentary featuring local historians.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdyysF0VC20

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBPMp8H3x3w

    More:

    • The Triangle Trope
    • I Survived the Bermuda Triangle
    • Paranormal Vortex Areas

    #BenningtonTriangle #Bigfoot #folklore #ghostTown #GlastenburyMountain #mysteriousDisappearances #Paranormal #paranormalVortex #ShirleyJackson #unsolvedMysteries #vermont #windowArea

    https://sharonahill.com/?p=8701

    #benningtontriangle #bigfoot #folklore #ghosttown #glastenburymountain #mysteriousdisappearances
23. 

    Sharon A. Hill @[email protected] · 2024-08-08 · 00:09 UTC

    Triangle Trope of Vermont: Bennington

    Vermont’s Bennington Triangle is my first stop on the Triangle Trope Trip this year. See also I Survived the Bermuda Triangle. And for a deep dive into the history of how these places became known, check out Paranormal Vortex Areas.

    Glastenbury Mountain

    On my way back from Vermont earlier this year, we passed Bennington and its infamous Glastenbury mountain, which has accrued a reputation as a spooky area hosting an array of supernatural and generally weird phenomena.

    This reputation was boosted by real life tragedies, but also by writers and media producers who lumped events together, exaggerated some, made up others, and molded a contrived narrative. Their efforts enhanced and popularized the legends, eventually consolidating the package as the ‘Bennington Triangle.’

    I did not have the chance to stop and explore Glastenbury, a lost village and rugged mountain that is likely named after Glastonbury, Somerset, England, though not spelled the same. The tiny town, now abandoned, had poor rocky soil and harsh winters, though it did manage to eek out an existence for a while in the mid 1800s. The railroad carried lumber and charcoal from the location to Bennington. But Glastenbury, Vermont only lasted 103 years, until 1937 when the trees had all been cut and last ditch efforts at tourism failed. The village lost its railroad line to flooding which scuttled any remaining potential and heralded its turn into a “ghost town”. It was unincorporated for lack of residents. (See also Glastenbury: A history of a Vermont ghost town by Tyler Resch, 2008)

    Part of the Appalachian Trail, called The Long Trail through Vermont, passes over the Glastenbury mountain. From what I’ve gathered, trails through the old town and the mountain are not well-marked and a traveler could easily become lost. Haunted Hikes writer Andrea Lankford labels the 21-mile Glastenbury Loop as a ‘strenuous’ route today rising 2000 ft in elevation, not recommended for amateurs, with primitive roads and few rough shelters for bad weather. It’s a rugged environment, so, it’s not a wonder that several people have disappeared in the area, never to be found. The several disappearances, which were never fully explained, contributed mightily to the manufactured idea that the area, and the mountain in particular, was cursed and dangerous.

    The Disappearances

    In 1946, Paula Welden, a student of Bennington College, which was an all-women’s school at the time, disappeared after going for a hike one December day. She was never found. Welden’s disappearance was the most famous one of six supposed incidents. It was preceded by the vanishing of experienced but elderly outdoorsman Middie Rivers in 1945, and followed by a cluster of mysterious missing persons in 1950: eight-year old Paul Jepson went missing from a truck, Frances Christman and Frieda Langer disappeared within days of each other. Langer’s body was later discovered seven months later in an area around her campsite that had been previously thoroughly searched. Her cause of death was never determined. In November of 1950, Martha Jones disappeared after supposedly hitchhiking. One of the weirdest tales is that of James Tetford who was said to have vanished from a bus from St. Albans to Bennington in 1949. That is, he got on but never got off. This story has been greatly exaggerated, as it was many days before it was noticed that he didn’t return home. You won’t hear that part on paranormal media because it ruins the mystery.

    It seems plausible that the disappearances in this localized area of Vermont inspired various fictional tales of haunted mountains. Weldon’s story, in particular, was loosely tied to the novel Hangsaman by author Shirley Jackson. Jackson lived in Bennington where her husband was a professor; she later became renowned for her uncanny tales including the shocking short story The Lottery and the short novel Haunting of Hill House, which was made into movies and a series. I recently finished a biography of Jackson (Shirley Jackson: A Rather Haunted Life by Ruth Franklin) in which little mention was made of any unsettling characteristics of the Bennington area except for the way she was treated by the insular community.

    Mystery mongers

    In 1992, author and storyteller Joseph Citro described the area around Glastenbury mountain and Bennington where the disappearances and other strange tales had been reported as the “Bennington Triangle”. He admitted in the book Weird New England (p. 74) that he “swiped” the term Triangle because of the mysterious association (presumably with the Bermuda Triangle). Citro, who is not a trained folklorist, also popularized other spooky tales such as that of UFOs, hauntings, hairy monsters, portals to other dimensions, and man eating rocks. (I will try and treat that Spooky Geology topic at another time.) Reading Citro’s writing, he plays at mystery mongering, a characteristic that genuine folklore scholars would not exhibit. If the disappearances were not supernatural, he suggests, perhaps they were the work of a serial killer dubbed the Bennington Ripper or Mad Murderer of the Long Trail. There is no solid evidence for this but became a popular idea for discussion for armchair true-crime fans.

    As happens with difficult or unique places, insinuations were made that the natives claimed the mountain was cursed and that unexplained lights and sounds emanated from it. The origins of such tales are dubious, but often repeated, nevertheless. The strange stories are often connected directly to Glastenbury mountain and town, which did have some history of violent crimes and murders. However, many of the publicized incidents didn’t happen on the mountain.

    Monster tales

    Man-like monster stories also became attached to the area. Numerous residents reported a “wild man” terrorized the people of Bennington and Glastenbury around 1867. Witnesses reported an unkempt naked man in a coat flashed residents and waved a pistol before hiding in the forest. Rumor was that he existed among the boulder caves. Incredibly, this story later seemed to morph into Bigfoot lore. There is considerable reason not to read this as a Bigfoot tale but that didn’t stop people conflating the story and creating the Bennington Monster. Various internet and book sources reference an account of a stagecoach in the 1800s halted by a washed out road. The coach was attacked by a large creature with glowing red eyes. Another tale was popularized by Ripley’s Believe It or Not (so I am rather inclined towards “not”) where a man named Carol Herrick was found dead in the woods in 1943 having been “squeezed to death and his body surrounded by huge footprints.” This was also associated with the Bennington Monster. I’d be grateful if people who knew anything about that story could supply a credible source. A few people have also claimed to have heard animal screams in the woods at night or having seen the typical hair-covered tall bipedal creatures as recently as the early 2000s

    None of these claims, however, stand up to any scrutiny. In my admittedly cursory searches for legitimate sources of these accounts, I found the usual copy-paste efforts of paranormal web pages replete with mistaken spellings and attributions. The intent of the stories is to feed into the paranormal spirt of place and to bolster the lore of a paranormal “Triangle” area. Some exaggerated and poorly researched YouTube features even compare the Bennington Triangle to areas in the Western US known as supernatural hot spots like the Uinta Basin in Utah, home of Skinwalker Ranch.

    The Bennington “square”?

    Other than the fact that some people did actually disappear and were presumed dead, very little evidence supports the overreaching paranormal and monstrous claims made by mystery mongers promoting the Bennington Triangle. The events from 1945 to 1950 and those fore and aft were connected and judged to be significant by one person, Joe Citro, who sensationalized the events and native legends. Heck, it’s not even close to being a triangle!

    As with other paranormal “triangle” areas, we can see the accretion of additional reports and facts that are added simply due to proximity. In this case, the abandonment of Glastenbury along with unfortunate human and natural events that seem to be due to social and environmental circumstances, fed into the supernatural themes that became popular fodder for the TV shows, podcasts and self-made videos from the late 90s to the present. Notably, the events of the Bennington Triangle are mostly in the past, as no recent events are attributed to it. However, we can guarantee that the preexisting framing allows any strange event that takes place in the vicinity to be conveniently hanged onto the body of tales and add to its mystique.

    Here is Part 1 & 2 of a short documentary featuring local historians.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdyysF0VC20

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBPMp8H3x3w

    More:

    • The Triangle Trope
    • I Survived the Bermuda Triangle
    • Paranormal Vortex Areas

    #BenningtonTriangle #Bigfoot #folklore #ghostTown #GlastenburyMountain #mysteriousDisappearances #Paranormal #paranormalVortex #ShirleyJackson #unsolvedMysteries #vermont #windowArea

    https://sharonahill.com/?p=8701

    #windowarea #vermont #unsolvedmysteries #shirleyjackson #paranormalvortex #paranormal
24. 

    Sharon A. Hill @[email protected] · 2024-08-08 · 00:09 UTC

    Triangle Trope of Vermont: Bennington

    Vermont’s Bennington Triangle is my first stop on the Triangle Trope Trip this year. See also I Survived the Bermuda Triangle. And for a deep dive into the history of how these places became known, check out Paranormal Vortex Areas.

    Glastenbury Mountain

    On my way back from Vermont earlier this year, we passed Bennington and its infamous Glastenbury mountain, which has accrued a reputation as a spooky area hosting an array of supernatural and generally weird phenomena.

    This reputation was boosted by real life tragedies, but also by writers and media producers who lumped events together, exaggerated some, made up others, and molded a contrived narrative. Their efforts enhanced and popularized the legends, eventually consolidating the package as the ‘Bennington Triangle.’

    I did not have the chance to stop and explore Glastenbury, a lost village and rugged mountain that is likely named after Glastonbury, Somerset, England, though not spelled the same. The tiny town, now abandoned, had poor rocky soil and harsh winters, though it did manage to eek out an existence for a while in the mid 1800s. The railroad carried lumber and charcoal from the location to Bennington. But Glastenbury, Vermont only lasted 103 years, until 1937 when the trees had all been cut and last ditch efforts at tourism failed. The village lost its railroad line to flooding which scuttled any remaining potential and heralded its turn into a “ghost town”. It was unincorporated for lack of residents. (See also Glastenbury: A history of a Vermont ghost town by Tyler Resch, 2008)

    Part of the Appalachian Trail, called The Long Trail through Vermont, passes over the Glastenbury mountain. From what I’ve gathered, trails through the old town and the mountain are not well-marked and a traveler could easily become lost. Haunted Hikes writer Andrea Lankford labels the 21-mile Glastenbury Loop as a ‘strenuous’ route today rising 2000 ft in elevation, not recommended for amateurs, with primitive roads and few rough shelters for bad weather. It’s a rugged environment, so, it’s not a wonder that several people have disappeared in the area, never to be found. The several disappearances, which were never fully explained, contributed mightily to the manufactured idea that the area, and the mountain in particular, was cursed and dangerous.

    The Disappearances

    In 1946, Paula Welden, a student of Bennington College, which was an all-women’s school at the time, disappeared after going for a hike one December day. She was never found. Welden’s disappearance was the most famous one of six supposed incidents. It was preceded by the vanishing of experienced but elderly outdoorsman Middie Rivers in 1945, and followed by a cluster of mysterious missing persons in 1950: eight-year old Paul Jepson went missing from a truck, Frances Christman and Frieda Langer disappeared within days of each other. Langer’s body was later discovered seven months later in an area around her campsite that had been previously thoroughly searched. Her cause of death was never determined. In November of 1950, Martha Jones disappeared after supposedly hitchhiking. One of the weirdest tales is that of James Tetford who was said to have vanished from a bus from St. Albans to Bennington in 1949. That is, he got on but never got off. This story has been greatly exaggerated, as it was many days before it was noticed that he didn’t return home. You won’t hear that part on paranormal media because it ruins the mystery.

    It seems plausible that the disappearances in this localized area of Vermont inspired various fictional tales of haunted mountains. Weldon’s story, in particular, was loosely tied to the novel Hangsaman by author Shirley Jackson. Jackson lived in Bennington where her husband was a professor; she later became renowned for her uncanny tales including the shocking short story The Lottery and the short novel Haunting of Hill House, which was made into movies and a series. I recently finished a biography of Jackson (Shirley Jackson: A Rather Haunted Life by Ruth Franklin) in which little mention was made of any unsettling characteristics of the Bennington area except for the way she was treated by the insular community.

    Mystery mongers

    In 1992, author and storyteller Joseph Citro described the area around Glastenbury mountain and Bennington where the disappearances and other strange tales had been reported as the “Bennington Triangle”. He admitted in the book Weird New England (p. 74) that he “swiped” the term Triangle because of the mysterious association (presumably with the Bermuda Triangle). Citro, who is not a trained folklorist, also popularized other spooky tales such as that of UFOs, hauntings, hairy monsters, portals to other dimensions, and man eating rocks. (I will try and treat that Spooky Geology topic at another time.) Reading Citro’s writing, he plays at mystery mongering, a characteristic that genuine folklore scholars would not exhibit. If the disappearances were not supernatural, he suggests, perhaps they were the work of a serial killer dubbed the Bennington Ripper or Mad Murderer of the Long Trail. There is no solid evidence for this but became a popular idea for discussion for armchair true-crime fans.

    As happens with difficult or unique places, insinuations were made that the natives claimed the mountain was cursed and that unexplained lights and sounds emanated from it. The origins of such tales are dubious, but often repeated, nevertheless. The strange stories are often connected directly to Glastenbury mountain and town, which did have some history of violent crimes and murders. However, many of the publicized incidents didn’t happen on the mountain.

    Monster tales

    Man-like monster stories also became attached to the area. Numerous residents reported a “wild man” terrorized the people of Bennington and Glastenbury around 1867. Witnesses reported an unkempt naked man in a coat flashed residents and waved a pistol before hiding in the forest. Rumor was that he existed among the boulder caves. Incredibly, this story later seemed to morph into Bigfoot lore. There is considerable reason not to read this as a Bigfoot tale but that didn’t stop people conflating the story and creating the Bennington Monster. Various internet and book sources reference an account of a stagecoach in the 1800s halted by a washed out road. The coach was attacked by a large creature with glowing red eyes. Another tale was popularized by Ripley’s Believe It or Not (so I am rather inclined towards “not”) where a man named Carol Herrick was found dead in the woods in 1943 having been “squeezed to death and his body surrounded by huge footprints.” This was also associated with the Bennington Monster. I’d be grateful if people who knew anything about that story could supply a credible source. A few people have also claimed to have heard animal screams in the woods at night or having seen the typical hair-covered tall bipedal creatures as recently as the early 2000s

    None of these claims, however, stand up to any scrutiny. In my admittedly cursory searches for legitimate sources of these accounts, I found the usual copy-paste efforts of paranormal web pages replete with mistaken spellings and attributions. The intent of the stories is to feed into the paranormal spirt of place and to bolster the lore of a paranormal “Triangle” area. Some exaggerated and poorly researched YouTube features even compare the Bennington Triangle to areas in the Western US known as supernatural hot spots like the Uinta Basin in Utah, home of Skinwalker Ranch.

    The Bennington “square”?

    Other than the fact that some people did actually disappear and were presumed dead, very little evidence supports the overreaching paranormal and monstrous claims made by mystery mongers promoting the Bennington Triangle. The events from 1945 to 1950 and those fore and aft were connected and judged to be significant by one person, Joe Citro, who sensationalized the events and native legends. Heck, it’s not even close to being a triangle!

    As with other paranormal “triangle” areas, we can see the accretion of additional reports and facts that are added simply due to proximity. In this case, the abandonment of Glastenbury along with unfortunate human and natural events that seem to be due to social and environmental circumstances, fed into the supernatural themes that became popular fodder for the TV shows, podcasts and self-made videos from the late 90s to the present. Notably, the events of the Bennington Triangle are mostly in the past, as no recent events are attributed to it. However, we can guarantee that the preexisting framing allows any strange event that takes place in the vicinity to be conveniently hanged onto the body of tales and add to its mystique.

    Here is Part 1 & 2 of a short documentary featuring local historians.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdyysF0VC20

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBPMp8H3x3w

    More:

    • The Triangle Trope
    • I Survived the Bermuda Triangle
    • Paranormal Vortex Areas

    #BenningtonTriangle #Bigfoot #folklore #ghostTown #GlastenburyMountain #mysteriousDisappearances #Paranormal #paranormalVortex #ShirleyJackson #unsolvedMysteries #vermont #windowArea

    https://sharonahill.com/?p=8701

    #benningtontriangle #bigfoot #folklore #ghosttown #glastenburymountain #mysteriousdisappearances
25. 

    KWPeace @[email protected] · 2024-11-11 · 06:59 UTC

    War, Peace, and Propaganda at University of Waterloo on Tuesday 12 November 2024

    From Caterina Lindman’s newsletter:

    What: War, Peace and Propaganda: What the West should learn from the war in Ukraine and genocide in Gaza.
    When: 7:00pm to 8:30 on Tuesday 12 November 2024
    Where: Westmount Boardroom, Federation Hall at the University of Waterloo
    Location: 200 University Avenue West, Waterloo, Ontario Map
    Online: via Zoom: http://tiny.cc/WARPEACEPROPAGANDA
    Speakers: Dimitri Lascaris, journalist & lawyer, Tamara Lorincz, academic & activist, and more!

    This is a free, hybrid event. Come in person or join us online. Register in advance for this Zoom meeting.

    (Federation Hall is located at the corner of Columbia Street, Hagey Boulevarde. and Ring Road on campus. Paid parking next to building. Bus: Routes 201, 13, 30, 31, and the LRT has a stop on campus).

    Come to discuss the war in Ukraine, the genocide in Gaza, Canada’s roles in these crises and what we can do for peace and justice. We’ll also talk about what the government and mainstream media are ignoring. All are welcome. Donations greatly appreciated.

    Speakers

    Dimitri Lascaris is a lawyer based in Montreal. He is also a freelance journalist and the host of a YouTube program called “Reason2Resist”. Over the past two years, Dimitri has reported from and conducted interviews in West Asia, Venezuela, Moscow and Crimea. Dimitri will discuss his latest reporting in the West Bank and Lebanon.

    Tamara Lorincz is a PhD candidate at the Balsillie School of International Affairs at Wilfrid Laurier University. She is a member of the Canadian Voice of Women for Peace, Women’s International League for Peace and Freedom-Canada and fellow with the Canadian Foreign Policy Institute. Tamara will talk about her recent trips to the climate summits, Eastern Europe, Russia and Washington D.C. related to the war in Ukraine & NATO and possibilities for peace, climate and cooperation.

    For more information see https://wilpfcanada.ca/

    Organized & endorsed by the Canadian Voice of Women for Peace, Women’s International League for Peace & Freedom-Canada, People for Peace London, Council of Canadians-London Chapter, Waterloo Region Friends of Palestine, Palestine Youth Movement, Waterloo Neighbours for Palestine, Ottawa Peace Council, Reimagine Co., Mississauga-Streetsville for Palestine, and the Canadian Foreign Policy Institute.

    #CanadianVoiceOfWomenForPeace #DimitriLascaris #TamaraLorincz

    #dimitrilascaris #tamaralorincz #canadianvoiceofwomenforpeace
26. 

    Rob Pegoraro @[email protected] · 2020-06-19 · 21:07 UTC

    Airports I’ve used

    Last Friday set an ignominious personal milestone: I broke a record for consecutive days spent away from airplanes that went back to to 2001.

    Back then, the post-9/11 shutdown of commercial aviation and my own relaxed travel schedule ensured I wouldn’t board a plane between early August, when I landed at National Airport after a summer vacation in California, and early January, when I took off DCA for my first Macworld Expo. This time, the novel-coronavirus pandemic has grounded me, and it’s unclear when I’ll once again feel jet engines shove me back in my seat and watch the ground fall away from the wing.

    So I might as well document the airports I used in the Before Times, having already done the research for my friend Craig Fifer’s Flight Quest project to track who among his friends had taken off from or landed at more airports. As an inveterate list-maker and avgeek, how could I not have taken part in that competition?

    So here you go: the 94 95 97 98 99 100 101 102103 104 105 106 109 112 113 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 airports I’ve used listed by IATA and ICAO code, plus my comments about each.

    • AER/URSS, Sochi International Airport: A student trip to the Soviet Union after my high-school graduation (thanks, Mom and Dad) led me to this airport on the Black Sea.
    • AMS/EHAM, Amsterdam Airport Schiphol: A friend’s bachelor party provided an excellent excuse to fly to the Netherlands.
    • ATL/KATL, Hartsfield–Jackson Atlanta International Airport: I’ve spent shockingly little time here, aside from two trips to cover the E3 video-game conference in the ’90s.
    • ATW/KATW, Appleton International Airport: This has to be the smallest U.S. airport on this list with “International” in its name–despite not having any regularly scheduled international passenger service.
    • AUS/KAUS, Austin–Bergstrom International Airport: Thanks, SXSW.
    • BCN/LEBL, Josep Tarradellas Barcelona–El Prat Airport: MWC put this airport on my map.
    • BDA/TXKF, L.F. Wade International Airport: spring break in Bermuda with my family in high school.
    • BER/EDDB, Berlin Brandenburg Airport: Five years after seeing this unopened airport as a infrastructure tourist, I experienced it as a passenger.
    • BNA/KBNA, Nashville International Airport: The diversity of local dining options represented here reminded me of AUS.
    • BOI/KBOI, Boise Airport: Shortest airport name on this list.
    • BOS/KBOS, Logan International Airport: a family destination since the late ’90s.
    • BRU/EBBR, Brussels Airport: I hear Brussels is a great city, so at some point I should not just connect through its airport.
    • BUR/KBUR, Hollywood Burbank Airport: Among my easier airport car-rental experiences.
    • BWI/KBWI, Baltimore/Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport: the greater Washington area’s third-place airport.
    • CDG/LFPG, Paris Charles de Gaulle Airport: T1 is a master class in how not to design a terminal.
    • CGS/KCGS, College Park Airport: I went to an airshow at the oldest continuously-operated airport in the late ’90s and paid $20 or so for a ride in a biplane.
    • CLE/KCLE, Cleveland Hopkins International Airport: I’m told that my first flight was a hop from Newark to Cleveland to see my grandparents.
    • CLT/KCLT, Charlotte Douglas International Airport: Yes, I’ve flown US Airways and American Airlines.
    • CMH/KCMH, John Glenn Columbus International Airport: Part of a miniature mileage run I did on Sept. 11, 2020 to break an eight-month streak of being grounded after the novel-coronavirus pandemic shut down all my business travel.
    • CPH/EKCH, Copenhagen Airport: The airport is easily reachable by train from both Denmark and Sweden.
    • CRL/EBCI, Brussels South Charleroi Airport: Potential Ryanair passengers should be advised that Charleroi isn’t Brussels.
    • CTU/ZUUU, Chengdu Shuangliu International Airport: The 1998 trip to Tibet that took me through this airport (I’m sure it’s much fancier now) will require its own post at some point.
    • CUN/MMUN, Cancún International Airport: a pre-Christmas vacation a couple of years ago.
    • CXH/CYHC, Vancouver Harbour Flight Centre: I couldn’t resist ducking away from Web Summit Vancouver to get in a floatplane tour of the city and its beautiful surroundings.
    • DAL/KDAL, Dallas Love Field: Of course, Southwest Airlines was involved.
    • DCA/KDCA, Washington National Airport: I don’t call the airport that I’ve probably used more than any other “Reagan Airport” because Republicans in Congress insisted on shoving that name on us while the 41st president was still alive. Never name things after living politicians.
    • DEN/KDEN, Stapleton International Airport: I’m so old that I’ve flown in and out of and driven under Denver’s former airport.
    • DEN/KDEN, Denver International Airport: Rail transit from here is surprisingly good.
    • DFW/KDFW, Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport: I think I’ve only flown here once; my second time would have been this March, but the pandemic intervened.
    • DOH/OTHH, Hamad International Airport: Doha, Qatar, is the farthest east I’ve flown from home.
    • DTW/KDTW, Detroit Metropolitan Wayne County Airport: I’ve only over connected through Detroit and have somehow never visited the city itself.
    • DUB/EIDW, Dublin Airport: I was overdue to return until Dublin Tech Summit brought me back in 2022.
    • EWR/KEWR, Newark Liberty International Airport: my home airport growing up, as well as the only one where I’ve experienced a departure from the jumpseat of an airliner.
    • FCO/LIRF, Rome–Fiumicino International Airport: first stop on my honeymoon.
    • FLL/KFLL, Fort Lauderdale–Hollywood International Airport: a nice start to a few days in the Florida Keys with friends.
    • FRA/EDDF, Frankfurt am Main Airport: Germany’s biggest Star Alliance transfer point.
    • FUK/RJFF, Fukuoka Airport: an unplanned connection on my way to Tokyo in 2019, also a source of childish hilarity for its IATA code.
    • GIG/SBGL, Rio de Janeiro/Galeão International Airport: My first airport used out of the Northern Hemisphere.
    • GRU/SBGR, São Paulo/Guarulhos International Airport: I usually don’t like to be introduced to a new airport with less than two hours to connect through it, but my domestic-to-international connection at GRU was about as easy as they get.
    • GVA/LSGG, Geneva Airport: Switzerland’s lesser airport.
    • HEL/EFHK, Helsinki-Vantaa Airport: Also one of the more memorable IATA codes out there.
    • HGR/KHGR, Hagerstown Regional Airport: Where I flew in a 76-year-old B-25 Mitchell.
    • HKG/VHHH, Hong Kong International Airport: I’m sorry I never got to fly into Kai Tak.
    • HND/RJTT, Tokyo International Airport: My belated introduction to Haneda came in 2019.
    • HOU/KHOU, William P. Hobby Airport: This requires a whole lot less walking than its big brother on the other side of Houston.
    • IAD/KIAD, Washington Dulles International Airport: my other home airport now.
    • IAH/KIAH, George Bush Intercontinental Airport: so many connections here.
    • IST/LTFM, Istanbul Airport: This has to be the largest airport terminal I’ve ever set foot in. If you have access to the Turkish Airlines lounge by the D concourse, show up hungry!
    • JFK/KJFK, John F. Kennedy International Airport: I have a Pan Am boarding pass from here but have otherwise spent shockingly little time at JFK.
    • KEF/BIKF, Keflavik International Airport: Decades after Tom Clancy’s “Red Storm Rising” introduced this airport to me as the site of a Soviet invasion, I had a much more tranquil welcome connecting through KEF in 2022.
    • KOA/PHKO, Ellison Onizuka Kona International Airport at Keāhole: Qualcomm’s Snapdragon Tech Summit took me here in 2021.
    • -/KHES, Healdsburg Municipal Airport: A flight in a friend’s plane took me to this tiny Sonoma County airstrip.
    • LAS/KLAS, McCarran International Airport: CES has given me an obnoxious level of familiarity with Las Vegas’ airport.
    • LAX/KLAX, Los Angeles International Airport: The In-n-Out Burger franchise just northeast of the runways is my favorite fast-food spot in the world.
    • LED/ULLI, Pulkovo Airport: I flew here in 1989, when St. Petersburg was still Leningrad.
    • LGA/KLGA, LaGuardia Airport: It’s made Penn Station look good.
    • LGW/LGKK, London Gatwick: London’s other airport, substantially more expensive to reach via rail than Heathrow.
    • LHR/EGLL, Heathrow Airport: My opinion of it went way up after T2 opened.
    • LIS/LPPT, Humberto Delgado Airport: Obrigado, Web Summit.
    • LKE/-, Kenmore Air Harbor Seaplane Base: My first flight that started and ended on water happened here, at Seattle’s Lake Union.
    • LXA/ZULS, Lhasa Gonggar Airport: At 11,710 feet above sea level, Tibet’s primary airport is the highest one I’ve used.
    • MAD/LEMD, Adolfo Suárez Madrid–Barajas Airport: I was here as a kid.
    • MCI/KMCI, Kansas City International Airport: Not everything is up to date in this airport.
    • MCO/KMCO, Orlando International Airport: I’ve flown here to see rockets fly.
    • MDW/KMDW, Chicago Midway International Airport: the other Chicago airport.
    • MEM/KMEM, Memphis International Airport: a long-ago connection.
    • MEX/MMMX, Mexico City International Airport: my first non-coastal airport used in Mexico.
    • MHT/KMHT, Manchester–Boston Regional Airport: An early-morning departure after a friend’s wedding was not much fun.
    • MIA/KMIA, Miami International Airport: My first in-person panel moderation since the start of the pandemic finally got me to this airport.
    • MSO/KMSO, Missoula Montana Airport: After getting off the plane here, I knew I would not have Vasili Borodin’s dying regret in the film version of The Hunt For Red October, “I would like to have seen Montana.”
    • MSP/KMSP, Minneapolis–Saint Paul International Airport: My 2001 connection here was so short that my skis didn’t make it on the plane home with me.
    • MSY/KMSY, Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport: great city, bad transfers to and from its airport.
    • MUC/EDDM, Munich Airport: my second-most-frequent connection in Germany.
    • MXP/LIMC, Milan Malpensa Airport: The last stop on our honeymoon.
    • NRT/RJAA, Narita International Airport: I don’t think any other airport on this list sits as far from its city’s downtown as Narita is from Tokyo.
    • OAK/KOAK, Oakland International Airport: I last flew here when you still had to take a bus to BART.
    • ODS/UKOO, Odesa International Airport: It was still spelled Odessa when I visited in 1989.
    • OGG/PHOG, Kahului Airport: A friend’s wedding in Maui was for years my only visit to Hawaii.
    • ORD/KORD, O’Hare International Airport: Two great things about ORD: the neon sculpture between T1’s two halves, and Tortas Frontera.
    • ORY/LFPO, Paris Orly Airport: When my family lived outside of Paris during my first two years of college, flying Continental meant I arrived at Orly instead of de Gaulle.
    • PDX/KPDX, Portland International Airport: I, too, miss the old carpet.
    • PEK/ZBAA, Beijing Capital International Airport: Transit connections were not that easy or discoverable in 2007.
    • PHL/KPHL, Philadelphia International Airport: Amtrak should connect to PHL.
    • PHX/KPHX, Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport: Yet another airport I’ve only used as a connection.
    • PIT/KPIT, Pittsburgh International Airport: I haven’t been here since the last millennium.
    • PSP/KPSP, Palm Springs International Airport: palm trees and runways.
    • PTY/MPTO, Tocumen International Airport: I connected through Copa Airlines’ Panama City hub on my way to Web Summit Rio in 2023.
    • PUJ/MDPC, Punta Cana International Airport: Wearing a Nats cap in the Dominican Republic will get you some “Juan Soto!” shout-outs.
    • PVD/KPVD, T.F. Green International Airport: Providence has a very efficient airport.
    • PVG/ZSPD, Shanghai Pudong International Airport: the fastest transit link I’ve ever used.
    • PVR/MMPR, Licenciado Gustavo Díaz Ordaz International Airport: a destination wedding in Puerto Vallarta.
    • RDU/KRDU, Raleigh-Durham International Airport: Part of a mileage run in 2023, unless I flew in or out of there years earlier.
    • RIX/EVRA, Riga International Airport: The TechChill conference brought me to Latvia in 2022.
    • RNO/KRNO, Reno–Tahoe International Airport: My only flight here happened after I missed a flight out of IAD and had to rebook.
    • RSW/KRSW, Southwest Florida International Airport: I forgot to include Fort Myers’ airport when I first posted this list.
    • SAN/KSAN, San Diego International Airport: Enjoy the views of downtown on the way in.
    • SAT/KSAT, San Antonio International Airport: the smallest United Club I’ve visited.
    • SDU/SBRJ, Santos Dumont Airport: Rio’s rough equivalent of National Airport.
    • SEA/KSEA, Seattle–Tacoma International Airport: Take the train to downtown and think of Steve Dunne from Singles.
    • SFO/KSFO, San Francisco International Airport: my most frequent Left Coast airport.
    • SJC/KSJC, San Jose International Airport: I haven’t been back to Silicon Valley’s self-styled home airport in a few years.
    • SJD/MMSD, Los Cabos International Airport: another destination wedding in Mexico.
    • SJU/TJSJ, Luis Muñoz Marín International Airport: Storms back home extended my senior-year spring-break trip to Puerto Rico by a day and got me rebooked into a first-class seat on American back to D.C.
    • SLC/KSLC, Salt Lake City International Airport: a great ski trip in my pre-parenthood days.
    • SMF/KSMF, Sacramento International Airport: I flew here in 1992 to drive across the country with my girlfriend at the time in a 1977 Toyota Corolla, which seemed like a super-logical thing to do at the time.
    • SNA/KSNA, John Wayne Airport: The takeoff from this short 5,700-foot runway felt sportier than average.
    • SPU/LDSP, Split Airport: My introduction to Croatia in 2023, courtesy of Infobip’s Shift 2023 conferencee hosting me as an emcee.
    • STL/KSTL, St. Louis Lambert International Airport: my first two business trips had me going to E3 in L.A. via TWA from DCA, putting that airline’s hub in between.
    • STS/KSTS, Charles M. Schulz–Sonoma County Airport: The tiny waiting room is decorated with large prints of Peanuts strips featuring Snoopy and the Red Baron, which is awesome. Santa Rosa’s airport is also the only one I’ve departed via hot-air balloon.
    • SVO/UUEE, Sheremetyevo International Airport: My introduction to the joys of communism came at the start of that 1989 trip, in the form of an approximately two-hour wait after landing in Moscow for Aeroflot to return our group’s luggage.
    • SVQ/LEZL, Seville Airport: Having ATC delay a departure to FRA last spring by most of an hour required me to make a 10-minute connection in FRA.
    • SZX/ZGSZ, Shenzhen Bao’an International Airport: This, too, looks a lot different than it did during my 1998 trip to China.
    • TLL/EETN, Lennart Meri Tallinn Airport: Estonia’s primary airport is refreshingly close to the center of Tallinn.
    • TLV/LLBG, Ben Gurion Airport: They don’t screw around with security at Tel Aviv.
    • TPA/KTPA, Tampa International Airport: I landed here in 2011 to see my first space shuttle launch because Continental couldn’t get me to Orlando; fortunately, I-4 was devoid of traffic after 11 p.m.
    • TUS/KTUS, Tucson International Airport: Having an Air National Guard base hosted at this airport allows your planespotting to include F-16s.
    • TXL/EDDT, Berlin Tegel Airport: If Berlin Brandenburg Airport really and finally opens this fall (update: it did), TXL will be the next airport on this list to be retired.
    • VIE/LOWW, Vienna International Airport: a lovely vacation in 2006.
    • VNO/EYVI, Vilnius International Airport: I got my introduction to the last of the Baltic states’ three major airports about two and a half years after landing in Tallinn.
    • YQX/CYQX, Gander International Airport: On our way to the USSR in 1989, our Aeroflot Il-62 made a scheduled refueling stop at this Newfoundland airport.
    • YTZ/CYTZ, Billy Bishop Toronto City Airport: one of only two airports that I’ve exited by walking, the other being National.
    • YUL/CYUL, Montréal–Trudeau International Airport: Montréal is high on my list of cities I’d like to see again.
    • YVR/CYVR, Vancouver International Airport: I flew here to spend a few days skiiing at Whistler and still need to spend some time in the city itself.
    • YYZ/CYYZ, Toronto Pearson International Airport: famous forever thanks to Rush.
    • ZAG/LDZA, Zagreb Franjo Tuđman Airport: One of the smallest national-capital airports on this list.
    • ZRH/LSZH, Zurich Airport: The 22-minute connection I pulled off here in 2013 remains my second-shortest international layover.

    This almost certainly isn’t complete, as before 1997 I’m limited to incomplete paper records and my own memory. But I don’t think anybody can question my lifelong effort to prop up commercial aviation.

    Updated 9/12/2020 to add CMH; 10/7/2020 to add DAL and HOU; 8/20/2021 to add TLL; 8/27/2021 to add RSW; 9/16/2021 to add HGR; 10/3/2021 to add MIA;12/6/2021 to add KOA; 5/2/2022 to add RIX; 5/26/2022 to add BOI; 7/2/2022 to add HEL; 8/1/2022 to add PUJ; 9/19/2022 to add BER, KEF and CPH; 5/8/2023 to add PTY, GIG and GRU; 7/20/2023 to add LGW; 9/23/2023 to add IST, SPU and ZAG; 12/5/2023 to add RDU; 2/11/2024 to add VNO; 7/2/2024 to add SNA; 8/16/2024 to add BUR; 10/16/2024 to add BNA; 3/16/2025 to add DOH; 5/2/2025 to add SDU; 6/20/2025 to add MEX; 10/16/2025 to add ATW and update the name of MSO; 5/22/2026 to add CXH.

    #airportCode #airports #FlightQuest #IATACode #ICAOCode #landings #takeoffs

    #takeoffs #landings #icaocode #iatacode #flightquest #airports
27. 

    Rob Pegoraro @[email protected] · 2020-06-19 · 21:07 UTC

    Airports I’ve used

    Last Friday set an ignominious personal milestone: I broke a record for consecutive days spent away from airplanes that went back to to 2001.

    Back then, the post-9/11 shutdown of commercial aviation and my own relaxed travel schedule ensured I wouldn’t board a plane between early August, when I landed at National Airport after a summer vacation in California, and early January, when I took off DCA for my first Macworld Expo. This time, the novel-coronavirus pandemic has grounded me, and it’s unclear when I’ll once again feel jet engines shove me back in my seat and watch the ground fall away from the wing.

    So I might as well document the airports I used in the Before Times, having already done the research for my friend Craig Fifer’s Flight Quest project to track who among his friends had taken off from or landed at more airports. As an inveterate list-maker and avgeek, how could I not have taken part in that competition?

    So here you go: the 94 95 97 98 99 100 101 102103 104 105 106 109 112 113 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 airports I’ve used listed by IATA and ICAO code, plus my comments about each.

    • AER/URSS, Sochi International Airport: A student trip to the Soviet Union after my high-school graduation (thanks, Mom and Dad) led me to this airport on the Black Sea.
    • AMS/EHAM, Amsterdam Airport Schiphol: A friend’s bachelor party provided an excellent excuse to fly to the Netherlands.
    • ATL/KATL, Hartsfield–Jackson Atlanta International Airport: I’ve spent shockingly little time here, aside from two trips to cover the E3 video-game conference in the ’90s.
    • ATW/KATW, Appleton International Airport: This has to be the smallest U.S. airport on this list with “International” in its name–despite not having any regularly scheduled international passenger service.
    • AUS/KAUS, Austin–Bergstrom International Airport: Thanks, SXSW.
    • BCN/LEBL, Josep Tarradellas Barcelona–El Prat Airport: MWC put this airport on my map.
    • BDA/TXKF, L.F. Wade International Airport: spring break in Bermuda with my family in high school.
    • BER/EDDB, Berlin Brandenburg Airport: Five years after seeing this unopened airport as a infrastructure tourist, I experienced it as a passenger.
    • BNA/KBNA, Nashville International Airport: The diversity of local dining options represented here reminded me of AUS.
    • BOI/KBOI, Boise Airport: Shortest airport name on this list.
    • BOS/KBOS, Logan International Airport: a family destination since the late ’90s.
    • BRU/EBBR, Brussels Airport: I hear Brussels is a great city, so at some point I should not just connect through its airport.
    • BUR/KBUR, Hollywood Burbank Airport: Among my easier airport car-rental experiences.
    • BWI/KBWI, Baltimore/Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport: the greater Washington area’s third-place airport.
    • CDG/LFPG, Paris Charles de Gaulle Airport: T1 is a master class in how not to design a terminal.
    • CGS/KCGS, College Park Airport: I went to an airshow at the oldest continuously-operated airport in the late ’90s and paid $20 or so for a ride in a biplane.
    • CLE/KCLE, Cleveland Hopkins International Airport: I’m told that my first flight was a hop from Newark to Cleveland to see my grandparents.
    • CLT/KCLT, Charlotte Douglas International Airport: Yes, I’ve flown US Airways and American Airlines.
    • CMH/KCMH, John Glenn Columbus International Airport: Part of a miniature mileage run I did on Sept. 11, 2020 to break an eight-month streak of being grounded after the novel-coronavirus pandemic shut down all my business travel.
    • CPH/EKCH, Copenhagen Airport: The airport is easily reachable by train from both Denmark and Sweden.
    • CRL/EBCI, Brussels South Charleroi Airport: Potential Ryanair passengers should be advised that Charleroi isn’t Brussels.
    • CTU/ZUUU, Chengdu Shuangliu International Airport: The 1998 trip to Tibet that took me through this airport (I’m sure it’s much fancier now) will require its own post at some point.
    • CUN/MMUN, Cancún International Airport: a pre-Christmas vacation a couple of years ago.
    • CXH/CYHC, Vancouver Harbour Flight Centre: I couldn’t resist ducking away from Web Summit Vancouver to get in a floatplane tour of the city and its beautiful surroundings.
    • DAL/KDAL, Dallas Love Field: Of course, Southwest Airlines was involved.
    • DCA/KDCA, Washington National Airport: I don’t call the airport that I’ve probably used more than any other “Reagan Airport” because Republicans in Congress insisted on shoving that name on us while the 41st president was still alive. Never name things after living politicians.
    • DEN/KDEN, Stapleton International Airport: I’m so old that I’ve flown in and out of and driven under Denver’s former airport.
    • DEN/KDEN, Denver International Airport: Rail transit from here is surprisingly good.
    • DFW/KDFW, Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport: I think I’ve only flown here once; my second time would have been this March, but the pandemic intervened.
    • DOH/OTHH, Hamad International Airport: Doha, Qatar, is the farthest east I’ve flown from home.
    • DTW/KDTW, Detroit Metropolitan Wayne County Airport: I’ve only over connected through Detroit and have somehow never visited the city itself.
    • DUB/EIDW, Dublin Airport: I was overdue to return until Dublin Tech Summit brought me back in 2022.
    • EWR/KEWR, Newark Liberty International Airport: my home airport growing up, as well as the only one where I’ve experienced a departure from the jumpseat of an airliner.
    • FCO/LIRF, Rome–Fiumicino International Airport: first stop on my honeymoon.
    • FLL/KFLL, Fort Lauderdale–Hollywood International Airport: a nice start to a few days in the Florida Keys with friends.
    • FRA/EDDF, Frankfurt am Main Airport: Germany’s biggest Star Alliance transfer point.
    • FUK/RJFF, Fukuoka Airport: an unplanned connection on my way to Tokyo in 2019, also a source of childish hilarity for its IATA code.
    • GIG/SBGL, Rio de Janeiro/Galeão International Airport: My first airport used out of the Northern Hemisphere.
    • GRU/SBGR, São Paulo/Guarulhos International Airport: I usually don’t like to be introduced to a new airport with less than two hours to connect through it, but my domestic-to-international connection at GRU was about as easy as they get.
    • GVA/LSGG, Geneva Airport: Switzerland’s lesser airport.
    • HEL/EFHK, Helsinki-Vantaa Airport: Also one of the more memorable IATA codes out there.
    • HGR/KHGR, Hagerstown Regional Airport: Where I flew in a 76-year-old B-25 Mitchell.
    • HKG/VHHH, Hong Kong International Airport: I’m sorry I never got to fly into Kai Tak.
    • HND/RJTT, Tokyo International Airport: My belated introduction to Haneda came in 2019.
    • HOU/KHOU, William P. Hobby Airport: This requires a whole lot less walking than its big brother on the other side of Houston.
    • IAD/KIAD, Washington Dulles International Airport: my other home airport now.
    • IAH/KIAH, George Bush Intercontinental Airport: so many connections here.
    • IST/LTFM, Istanbul Airport: This has to be the largest airport terminal I’ve ever set foot in. If you have access to the Turkish Airlines lounge by the D concourse, show up hungry!
    • JFK/KJFK, John F. Kennedy International Airport: I have a Pan Am boarding pass from here but have otherwise spent shockingly little time at JFK.
    • KEF/BIKF, Keflavik International Airport: Decades after Tom Clancy’s “Red Storm Rising” introduced this airport to me as the site of a Soviet invasion, I had a much more tranquil welcome connecting through KEF in 2022.
    • KOA/PHKO, Ellison Onizuka Kona International Airport at Keāhole: Qualcomm’s Snapdragon Tech Summit took me here in 2021.
    • -/KHES, Healdsburg Municipal Airport: A flight in a friend’s plane took me to this tiny Sonoma County airstrip.
    • LAS/KLAS, McCarran International Airport: CES has given me an obnoxious level of familiarity with Las Vegas’ airport.
    • LAX/KLAX, Los Angeles International Airport: The In-n-Out Burger franchise just northeast of the runways is my favorite fast-food spot in the world.
    • LED/ULLI, Pulkovo Airport: I flew here in 1989, when St. Petersburg was still Leningrad.
    • LGA/KLGA, LaGuardia Airport: It’s made Penn Station look good.
    • LGW/LGKK, London Gatwick: London’s other airport, substantially more expensive to reach via rail than Heathrow.
    • LHR/EGLL, Heathrow Airport: My opinion of it went way up after T2 opened.
    • LIS/LPPT, Humberto Delgado Airport: Obrigado, Web Summit.
    • LKE/-, Kenmore Air Harbor Seaplane Base: My first flight that started and ended on water happened here, at Seattle’s Lake Union.
    • LXA/ZULS, Lhasa Gonggar Airport: At 11,710 feet above sea level, Tibet’s primary airport is the highest one I’ve used.
    • MAD/LEMD, Adolfo Suárez Madrid–Barajas Airport: I was here as a kid.
    • MCI/KMCI, Kansas City International Airport: Not everything is up to date in this airport.
    • MCO/KMCO, Orlando International Airport: I’ve flown here to see rockets fly.
    • MDW/KMDW, Chicago Midway International Airport: the other Chicago airport.
    • MEM/KMEM, Memphis International Airport: a long-ago connection.
    • MEX/MMMX, Mexico City International Airport: my first non-coastal airport used in Mexico.
    • MHT/KMHT, Manchester–Boston Regional Airport: An early-morning departure after a friend’s wedding was not much fun.
    • MIA/KMIA, Miami International Airport: My first in-person panel moderation since the start of the pandemic finally got me to this airport.
    • MSO/KMSO, Missoula Montana Airport: After getting off the plane here, I knew I would not have Vasili Borodin’s dying regret in the film version of The Hunt For Red October, “I would like to have seen Montana.”
    • MSP/KMSP, Minneapolis–Saint Paul International Airport: My 2001 connection here was so short that my skis didn’t make it on the plane home with me.
    • MSY/KMSY, Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport: great city, bad transfers to and from its airport.
    • MUC/EDDM, Munich Airport: my second-most-frequent connection in Germany.
    • MXP/LIMC, Milan Malpensa Airport: The last stop on our honeymoon.
    • NRT/RJAA, Narita International Airport: I don’t think any other airport on this list sits as far from its city’s downtown as Narita is from Tokyo.
    • OAK/KOAK, Oakland International Airport: I last flew here when you still had to take a bus to BART.
    • ODS/UKOO, Odesa International Airport: It was still spelled Odessa when I visited in 1989.
    • OGG/PHOG, Kahului Airport: A friend’s wedding in Maui was for years my only visit to Hawaii.
    • ORD/KORD, O’Hare International Airport: Two great things about ORD: the neon sculpture between T1’s two halves, and Tortas Frontera.
    • ORY/LFPO, Paris Orly Airport: When my family lived outside of Paris during my first two years of college, flying Continental meant I arrived at Orly instead of de Gaulle.
    • PDX/KPDX, Portland International Airport: I, too, miss the old carpet.
    • PEK/ZBAA, Beijing Capital International Airport: Transit connections were not that easy or discoverable in 2007.
    • PHL/KPHL, Philadelphia International Airport: Amtrak should connect to PHL.
    • PHX/KPHX, Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport: Yet another airport I’ve only used as a connection.
    • PIT/KPIT, Pittsburgh International Airport: I haven’t been here since the last millennium.
    • PSP/KPSP, Palm Springs International Airport: palm trees and runways.
    • PTY/MPTO, Tocumen International Airport: I connected through Copa Airlines’ Panama City hub on my way to Web Summit Rio in 2023.
    • PUJ/MDPC, Punta Cana International Airport: Wearing a Nats cap in the Dominican Republic will get you some “Juan Soto!” shout-outs.
    • PVD/KPVD, T.F. Green International Airport: Providence has a very efficient airport.
    • PVG/ZSPD, Shanghai Pudong International Airport: the fastest transit link I’ve ever used.
    • PVR/MMPR, Licenciado Gustavo Díaz Ordaz International Airport: a destination wedding in Puerto Vallarta.
    • RDU/KRDU, Raleigh-Durham International Airport: Part of a mileage run in 2023, unless I flew in or out of there years earlier.
    • RIX/EVRA, Riga International Airport: The TechChill conference brought me to Latvia in 2022.
    • RNO/KRNO, Reno–Tahoe International Airport: My only flight here happened after I missed a flight out of IAD and had to rebook.
    • RSW/KRSW, Southwest Florida International Airport: I forgot to include Fort Myers’ airport when I first posted this list.
    • SAN/KSAN, San Diego International Airport: Enjoy the views of downtown on the way in.
    • SAT/KSAT, San Antonio International Airport: the smallest United Club I’ve visited.
    • SDU/SBRJ, Santos Dumont Airport: Rio’s rough equivalent of National Airport.
    • SEA/KSEA, Seattle–Tacoma International Airport: Take the train to downtown and think of Steve Dunne from Singles.
    • SFO/KSFO, San Francisco International Airport: my most frequent Left Coast airport.
    • SJC/KSJC, San Jose International Airport: I haven’t been back to Silicon Valley’s self-styled home airport in a few years.
    • SJD/MMSD, Los Cabos International Airport: another destination wedding in Mexico.
    • SJU/TJSJ, Luis Muñoz Marín International Airport: Storms back home extended my senior-year spring-break trip to Puerto Rico by a day and got me rebooked into a first-class seat on American back to D.C.
    • SLC/KSLC, Salt Lake City International Airport: a great ski trip in my pre-parenthood days.
    • SMF/KSMF, Sacramento International Airport: I flew here in 1992 to drive across the country with my girlfriend at the time in a 1977 Toyota Corolla, which seemed like a super-logical thing to do at the time.
    • SNA/KSNA, John Wayne Airport: The takeoff from this short 5,700-foot runway felt sportier than average.
    • SPU/LDSP, Split Airport: My introduction to Croatia in 2023, courtesy of Infobip’s Shift 2023 conferencee hosting me as an emcee.
    • STL/KSTL, St. Louis Lambert International Airport: my first two business trips had me going to E3 in L.A. via TWA from DCA, putting that airline’s hub in between.
    • STS/KSTS, Charles M. Schulz–Sonoma County Airport: The tiny waiting room is decorated with large prints of Peanuts strips featuring Snoopy and the Red Baron, which is awesome. Santa Rosa’s airport is also the only one I’ve departed via hot-air balloon.
    • SVO/UUEE, Sheremetyevo International Airport: My introduction to the joys of communism came at the start of that 1989 trip, in the form of an approximately two-hour wait after landing in Moscow for Aeroflot to return our group’s luggage.
    • SVQ/LEZL, Seville Airport: Having ATC delay a departure to FRA last spring by most of an hour required me to make a 10-minute connection in FRA.
    • SZX/ZGSZ, Shenzhen Bao’an International Airport: This, too, looks a lot different than it did during my 1998 trip to China.
    • TLL/EETN, Lennart Meri Tallinn Airport: Estonia’s primary airport is refreshingly close to the center of Tallinn.
    • TLV/LLBG, Ben Gurion Airport: They don’t screw around with security at Tel Aviv.
    • TPA/KTPA, Tampa International Airport: I landed here in 2011 to see my first space shuttle launch because Continental couldn’t get me to Orlando; fortunately, I-4 was devoid of traffic after 11 p.m.
    • TUS/KTUS, Tucson International Airport: Having an Air National Guard base hosted at this airport allows your planespotting to include F-16s.
    • TXL/EDDT, Berlin Tegel Airport: If Berlin Brandenburg Airport really and finally opens this fall (update: it did), TXL will be the next airport on this list to be retired.
    • VIE/LOWW, Vienna International Airport: a lovely vacation in 2006.
    • VNO/EYVI, Vilnius International Airport: I got my introduction to the last of the Baltic states’ three major airports about two and a half years after landing in Tallinn.
    • YQX/CYQX, Gander International Airport: On our way to the USSR in 1989, our Aeroflot Il-62 made a scheduled refueling stop at this Newfoundland airport.
    • YTZ/CYTZ, Billy Bishop Toronto City Airport: one of only two airports that I’ve exited by walking, the other being National.
    • YUL/CYUL, Montréal–Trudeau International Airport: Montréal is high on my list of cities I’d like to see again.
    • YVR/CYVR, Vancouver International Airport: I flew here to spend a few days skiiing at Whistler and still need to spend some time in the city itself.
    • YYZ/CYYZ, Toronto Pearson International Airport: famous forever thanks to Rush.
    • ZAG/LDZA, Zagreb Franjo Tuđman Airport: One of the smallest national-capital airports on this list.
    • ZRH/LSZH, Zurich Airport: The 22-minute connection I pulled off here in 2013 remains my second-shortest international layover.

    This almost certainly isn’t complete, as before 1997 I’m limited to incomplete paper records and my own memory. But I don’t think anybody can question my lifelong effort to prop up commercial aviation.

    Updated 9/12/2020 to add CMH; 10/7/2020 to add DAL and HOU; 8/20/2021 to add TLL; 8/27/2021 to add RSW; 9/16/2021 to add HGR; 10/3/2021 to add MIA;12/6/2021 to add KOA; 5/2/2022 to add RIX; 5/26/2022 to add BOI; 7/2/2022 to add HEL; 8/1/2022 to add PUJ; 9/19/2022 to add BER, KEF and CPH; 5/8/2023 to add PTY, GIG and GRU; 7/20/2023 to add LGW; 9/23/2023 to add IST, SPU and ZAG; 12/5/2023 to add RDU; 2/11/2024 to add VNO; 7/2/2024 to add SNA; 8/16/2024 to add BUR; 10/16/2024 to add BNA; 3/16/2025 to add DOH; 5/2/2025 to add SDU; 6/20/2025 to add MEX; 10/16/2025 to add ATW and update the name of MSO; 5/22/2026 to add CXH.

    #airportCode #airports #FlightQuest #IATACode #ICAOCode #landings #takeoffs

    #airportcode #airports #flightquest #iatacode #icaocode #landings
28. 

    Ellis C. A. Arcwolf (Author) @[email protected] · 2026-03-07 · 22:40 UTC

    CW: CW: Success Story (Sanctuary Found!), Mutual Aid Request, Relocation Exhaustion, Final Financial Ask ($873)

    Update: Sorry I haven't posted in a bit. Housing stressors. 😭 But....

    🚨 THE SANCTUARY IS FOUND – ONLY $873 TO GO! 🚨

    I have officially found a 1-bedroom apartment right on the bus route to my new job! It's tiny but it's quiet, and I can work and rest in peace here, which is an absolute blessing.

    Over the last 4 months, I have been forced to move at least 8 different times. The constant displacement has been horrible for my ability to function. I can't do it again. I need to secure this space so Riko and I can finally stop running and just rest.

    The beautiful truth is that my new salary easily covers the $1,100 rent and the monthly internet cost (all other bills are paid). I am entirely capable of sustaining this!

    We are currently 66% of the way to my original GoFundMe goal. I desperately need to raise the final $873 to cover the upfront rent and initial setup fees so I can lock this in and never have to move again.

    We have the job. We have the apartment. Please help us cross this final finish line! 💜

    GFM: https://gofund.me/85c9fb79e
    Venmo: https://venmo.com/ellisarcwolf
    CashApp: https://cash.app/$CeruleanArc
    Chime: $EllisArcwolf

    #MutualAid #MutualAidRequest #Pittsburgh #HousingCrisis #LPC #Therapist #SuccessStory #EmergencyFund #SiberianHusky #DisabilityJustice #CommunityCare #MentalHealthMatters

    #mutualaid #mutualaidrequest #pittsburgh #housingcrisis #lpc #therapist
29. 

    Ellis C. A. Arcwolf (Author) @[email protected] · 2026-03-07 · 22:40 UTC

    CW: CW: Success Story (Sanctuary Found!), Mutual Aid Request, Relocation Exhaustion, Final Financial Ask ($873)

    Update: Sorry I haven't posted in a bit. Housing stressors. 😭 But....

    🚨 THE SANCTUARY IS FOUND – ONLY $873 TO GO! 🚨

    I have officially found a 1-bedroom apartment right on the bus route to my new job! It's tiny but it's quiet, and I can work and rest in peace here, which is an absolute blessing.

    Over the last 4 months, I have been forced to move at least 8 different times. The constant displacement has been horrible for my ability to function. I can't do it again. I need to secure this space so Riko and I can finally stop running and just rest.

    The beautiful truth is that my new salary easily covers the $1,100 rent and the monthly internet cost (all other bills are paid). I am entirely capable of sustaining this!

    We are currently 66% of the way to my original GoFundMe goal. I desperately need to raise the final $873 to cover the upfront rent and initial setup fees so I can lock this in and never have to move again.

    We have the job. We have the apartment. Please help us cross this final finish line! 💜

    GFM: https://gofund.me/85c9fb79e
    Venmo: https://venmo.com/ellisarcwolf
    CashApp: https://cash.app/$CeruleanArc
    Chime: $EllisArcwolf

    #MutualAid #MutualAidRequest #Pittsburgh #HousingCrisis #LPC #Therapist #SuccessStory #EmergencyFund #SiberianHusky #DisabilityJustice #CommunityCare #MentalHealthMatters

    #mutualaid #mutualaidrequest #pittsburgh #housingcrisis #lpc #therapist
30. 

    Ellis C. A. Arcwolf (Author) @[email protected] · 2026-03-07 · 22:40 UTC

    CW: CW: Success Story (Sanctuary Found!), Mutual Aid Request, Relocation Exhaustion, Final Financial Ask ($873)

    Update: Sorry I haven't posted in a bit. Housing stressors. 😭 But....

    🚨 THE SANCTUARY IS FOUND – ONLY $873 TO GO! 🚨

    I have officially found a 1-bedroom apartment right on the bus route to my new job! It's tiny but it's quiet, and I can work and rest in peace here, which is an absolute blessing.

    Over the last 4 months, I have been forced to move at least 8 different times. The constant displacement has been horrible for my ability to function. I can't do it again. I need to secure this space so Riko and I can finally stop running and just rest.

    The beautiful truth is that my new salary easily covers the $1,100 rent and the monthly internet cost (all other bills are paid). I am entirely capable of sustaining this!

    We are currently 66% of the way to my original GoFundMe goal. I desperately need to raise the final $873 to cover the upfront rent and initial setup fees so I can lock this in and never have to move again.

    We have the job. We have the apartment. Please help us cross this final finish line! 💜

    GFM: https://gofund.me/85c9fb79e
    Venmo: https://venmo.com/ellisarcwolf
    CashApp: https://cash.app/$CeruleanArc
    Chime: $EllisArcwolf

    #MutualAid #MutualAidRequest #Pittsburgh #HousingCrisis #LPC #Therapist #SuccessStory #EmergencyFund #SiberianHusky #DisabilityJustice #CommunityCare #MentalHealthMatters

    #mutualaid #mutualaidrequest #pittsburgh #housingcrisis #lpc #therapist