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#suicidalideation — Public Fediverse posts

Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #suicidalideation, aggregated by home.social.

  1. DATE: May 21, 2026 at 08:00PM
    SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG

    ** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
    -------------------------------------------------

    TITLE: Brain scans reveal how a teenager’s reaction to loss connects impulsivity and suicidal thoughts

    URL: psypost.org/brain-scans-reveal

    A neuroimaging study of adolescents found that the association between impulsivity and future suicidal thoughts depends on how the right anterior insula, a region of the brain involved in processing emotions, reacts to loss. In adolescents whose anterior insula reacted with strong activation to a small monetary loss, high impulsivity was associated with elevated suicidal thoughts a year later. In contrast, in adolescents whose anterior insula did not react strongly to loss, higher impulsivity was associated with lower levels of suicidal thoughts. The paper was published in Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience.

    If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or mental health matters, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 (or 800-273-8255) or visit the NSPL site.

    Suicide is currently the second leading cause of death among U.S. youth. Despite ongoing prevention efforts, statistics show that youth suicide rates have increased in recent years. Usually, suicidal behavior is preceded by periods during which a person thinks about death and suicide, a concept known as suicidal ideation. These thoughts can range from general contemplations about ending one’s life to making specific plans.

    Suicidal thoughts tend to appear when a person feels trapped, hopeless, isolated, or in unbearable emotional pain. They can occur alongside depression, trauma, substance use, or other situations of intense distress. Not every person with suicidal thoughts wants to die permanently, as many simply want their pain to stop or wish to escape an unbearable situation.

    Lead author Carly J. Lenniger and colleagues note that leading theories propose that behavioral traits such as impulsivity act as background vulnerabilities. These traits can make suicidal thoughts more likely to occur when a person experiences severe emotional distress.

    Impulsivity is a general tendency to take action without considering the consequences. Because of this, impulsive teenagers in distress might respond quickly with suicidal thoughts without fully considering other outcomes. However, previous studies have not shown a simple link between impulsivity and suicide, as impulsivity alone does not reliably differentiate between people who think about suicide and those who actually attempt it.

    The authors proposed that the way the brain processes negative outcomes and losses might affect how impulsivity relates to suicidal thoughts. They conducted a study to examine whether neural sensitivity to monetary loss influences this relationship during adolescence.

    The final study sample consisted of 63 adolescents between the ages of 13 and 17 at the start of the research. They were recruited from the Pittsburgh area, and 59 percent of the participants were female. Although the study originally enrolled 135 participants, the final sample only included those who completed all of the required questionnaires and brain scans.

    Importantly, two-thirds of the participants were classified as having a high familial risk for mental health issues because they had a parent with a lifetime history of disorders such as major depression or schizophrenia. The remaining third of the participants had no such family history. Interestingly, the high-risk group showed overall stronger brain activation in the anterior insula when experiencing a loss compared to the low-risk group.

    At the start of the study, participants completed assessments of impulsivity, suicidal thoughts, depression symptoms, and anhedonia, which is the inability to feel pleasure. They also underwent a brain scan using functional magnetic resonance imaging. During this scan, they completed an eight-minute guessing task.

    In this task, participants won one dollar on winning trials and lost 50 cents on losing trials. Although the participants believed their guesses determined the outcomes, the wins and losses were actually prearranged by the researchers. To ensure fair compensation, everyone received ten dollars at the end of the game regardless of their performance. One year later, participants again completed the assessment of suicidal thoughts.

    The brain scans revealed distinct clusters of active neurons in the anterior insula when participants experienced a monetary loss. The strength of this activation differed among participants, with some showing strong responses and others showing much weaker responses in this region during a loss.

    Further analyses showed that the link between impulsivity and future suicidal thoughts depended on how the right anterior insula reacted to these loss outcomes. Interestingly, in participants with lower brain activation to the loss, the association between impulsivity and suicidal thoughts was negative. This meant that highly impulsive individuals with low brain reactivity were actually less likely to experience future suicidal thoughts, whereas less impulsive individuals with low brain reactivity faced an elevated risk.

    Conversely, in teenagers with high brain activation to a loss, the link between impulsivity and suicidal thoughts was positive, meaning that highly impulsive individuals tended to report increased suicidal thoughts. Overall, seven participants had very low brain activity to the loss, ten had very high activity, and 46 had medium levels of activity. Among the 46 participants in the middle range, impulsivity was not associated with suicidal thoughts.

    The authors concluded that the relationship between impulsivity and future suicidal thoughts varied based on the brain’s reaction to a negative outcome. Impulsive adolescents appeared to be at an elevated risk only when they showed a heightened neural sensitivity to loss, whereas those with lower sensitivity appeared to have a reduced risk.

    These findings could point to specific targets for clinical therapy. For impulsive adolescents with highly reactive brains, building the capacity to tolerate distress and regulate emotional responses to negative experiences may be especially critical. In contrast, teenagers with a quieter brain response and low impulsivity may benefit more from therapies that encourage active engagement, such as behavioral activation, or methods that stimulate brain networks.

    The study contributes to the scientific understanding of the neural pathways underlying suicidal thoughts. However, it is important to note that the final sample size was relatively small due to a high number of participants who did not complete all scans and surveys. Additionally, the monetary loss experienced in the study was very small and might not fully capture how teenagers react to more personally relevant or severe life losses.

    The paper, “Anterior Insula Reactivity to Loss Moderates the Association Between Trait Impulsivity and Future Suicidal Ideation in Adolescents,” was published in 2026. It was authored by Carly J. Lenniger, Kristen L. Eckstrand, T.H. Stanley Seah, Jennifer S. Silk, Jamie L. Hanson, Melissa Nance, Morgan Lindenmuth, Gretchen Haas, Neal Ryan, and Erika E. Forbes.

    URL: psypost.org/brain-scans-reveal

    -------------------------------------------------

    DAILY EMAIL DIGEST: Email [email protected] -- no subject or message needed.

    Private, vetted email list for mental health professionals: clinicians-exchange.org

    Unofficial Psychology Today Xitter to toot feed at Psych Today Unofficial Bot @PTUnofficialBot

    NYU Information for Practice puts out 400-500 good quality health-related research posts per week but its too much for many people, so that bot is limited to just subscribers. You can read it or subscribe at @PsychResearchBot

    Since 1991 The National Psychologist has focused on keeping practicing psychologists current with news, information and items of interest. Check them out for more free articles, resources, and subscription information: nationalpsychologist.com

    EMAIL DAILY DIGEST OF RSS FEEDS -- SUBSCRIBE: subscribe-article-digests.clin

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    It's primitive... but it works... mostly...

    -------------------------------------------------

    #psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #AnteriorInsula #LossProcessing #Impulsivity #AdolescentMentalHealth #SuicidalIdeation #Neuroimaging #BrainActivation #EmotionalRegulation #DevelopmentalCognitiveNeuroscience #MentalHealthAwareness

  2. DATE: May 21, 2026 at 08:00PM
    SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG

    ** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
    -------------------------------------------------

    TITLE: Brain scans reveal how a teenager’s reaction to loss connects impulsivity and suicidal thoughts

    URL: psypost.org/brain-scans-reveal

    A neuroimaging study of adolescents found that the association between impulsivity and future suicidal thoughts depends on how the right anterior insula, a region of the brain involved in processing emotions, reacts to loss. In adolescents whose anterior insula reacted with strong activation to a small monetary loss, high impulsivity was associated with elevated suicidal thoughts a year later. In contrast, in adolescents whose anterior insula did not react strongly to loss, higher impulsivity was associated with lower levels of suicidal thoughts. The paper was published in Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience.

    If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or mental health matters, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 (or 800-273-8255) or visit the NSPL site.

    Suicide is currently the second leading cause of death among U.S. youth. Despite ongoing prevention efforts, statistics show that youth suicide rates have increased in recent years. Usually, suicidal behavior is preceded by periods during which a person thinks about death and suicide, a concept known as suicidal ideation. These thoughts can range from general contemplations about ending one’s life to making specific plans.

    Suicidal thoughts tend to appear when a person feels trapped, hopeless, isolated, or in unbearable emotional pain. They can occur alongside depression, trauma, substance use, or other situations of intense distress. Not every person with suicidal thoughts wants to die permanently, as many simply want their pain to stop or wish to escape an unbearable situation.

    Lead author Carly J. Lenniger and colleagues note that leading theories propose that behavioral traits such as impulsivity act as background vulnerabilities. These traits can make suicidal thoughts more likely to occur when a person experiences severe emotional distress.

    Impulsivity is a general tendency to take action without considering the consequences. Because of this, impulsive teenagers in distress might respond quickly with suicidal thoughts without fully considering other outcomes. However, previous studies have not shown a simple link between impulsivity and suicide, as impulsivity alone does not reliably differentiate between people who think about suicide and those who actually attempt it.

    The authors proposed that the way the brain processes negative outcomes and losses might affect how impulsivity relates to suicidal thoughts. They conducted a study to examine whether neural sensitivity to monetary loss influences this relationship during adolescence.

    The final study sample consisted of 63 adolescents between the ages of 13 and 17 at the start of the research. They were recruited from the Pittsburgh area, and 59 percent of the participants were female. Although the study originally enrolled 135 participants, the final sample only included those who completed all of the required questionnaires and brain scans.

    Importantly, two-thirds of the participants were classified as having a high familial risk for mental health issues because they had a parent with a lifetime history of disorders such as major depression or schizophrenia. The remaining third of the participants had no such family history. Interestingly, the high-risk group showed overall stronger brain activation in the anterior insula when experiencing a loss compared to the low-risk group.

    At the start of the study, participants completed assessments of impulsivity, suicidal thoughts, depression symptoms, and anhedonia, which is the inability to feel pleasure. They also underwent a brain scan using functional magnetic resonance imaging. During this scan, they completed an eight-minute guessing task.

    In this task, participants won one dollar on winning trials and lost 50 cents on losing trials. Although the participants believed their guesses determined the outcomes, the wins and losses were actually prearranged by the researchers. To ensure fair compensation, everyone received ten dollars at the end of the game regardless of their performance. One year later, participants again completed the assessment of suicidal thoughts.

    The brain scans revealed distinct clusters of active neurons in the anterior insula when participants experienced a monetary loss. The strength of this activation differed among participants, with some showing strong responses and others showing much weaker responses in this region during a loss.

    Further analyses showed that the link between impulsivity and future suicidal thoughts depended on how the right anterior insula reacted to these loss outcomes. Interestingly, in participants with lower brain activation to the loss, the association between impulsivity and suicidal thoughts was negative. This meant that highly impulsive individuals with low brain reactivity were actually less likely to experience future suicidal thoughts, whereas less impulsive individuals with low brain reactivity faced an elevated risk.

    Conversely, in teenagers with high brain activation to a loss, the link between impulsivity and suicidal thoughts was positive, meaning that highly impulsive individuals tended to report increased suicidal thoughts. Overall, seven participants had very low brain activity to the loss, ten had very high activity, and 46 had medium levels of activity. Among the 46 participants in the middle range, impulsivity was not associated with suicidal thoughts.

    The authors concluded that the relationship between impulsivity and future suicidal thoughts varied based on the brain’s reaction to a negative outcome. Impulsive adolescents appeared to be at an elevated risk only when they showed a heightened neural sensitivity to loss, whereas those with lower sensitivity appeared to have a reduced risk.

    These findings could point to specific targets for clinical therapy. For impulsive adolescents with highly reactive brains, building the capacity to tolerate distress and regulate emotional responses to negative experiences may be especially critical. In contrast, teenagers with a quieter brain response and low impulsivity may benefit more from therapies that encourage active engagement, such as behavioral activation, or methods that stimulate brain networks.

    The study contributes to the scientific understanding of the neural pathways underlying suicidal thoughts. However, it is important to note that the final sample size was relatively small due to a high number of participants who did not complete all scans and surveys. Additionally, the monetary loss experienced in the study was very small and might not fully capture how teenagers react to more personally relevant or severe life losses.

    The paper, “Anterior Insula Reactivity to Loss Moderates the Association Between Trait Impulsivity and Future Suicidal Ideation in Adolescents,” was published in 2026. It was authored by Carly J. Lenniger, Kristen L. Eckstrand, T.H. Stanley Seah, Jennifer S. Silk, Jamie L. Hanson, Melissa Nance, Morgan Lindenmuth, Gretchen Haas, Neal Ryan, and Erika E. Forbes.

    URL: psypost.org/brain-scans-reveal

    -------------------------------------------------

    DAILY EMAIL DIGEST: Email [email protected] -- no subject or message needed.

    Private, vetted email list for mental health professionals: clinicians-exchange.org

    Unofficial Psychology Today Xitter to toot feed at Psych Today Unofficial Bot @PTUnofficialBot

    NYU Information for Practice puts out 400-500 good quality health-related research posts per week but its too much for many people, so that bot is limited to just subscribers. You can read it or subscribe at @PsychResearchBot

    Since 1991 The National Psychologist has focused on keeping practicing psychologists current with news, information and items of interest. Check them out for more free articles, resources, and subscription information: nationalpsychologist.com

    EMAIL DAILY DIGEST OF RSS FEEDS -- SUBSCRIBE: subscribe-article-digests.clin

    READ ONLINE: read-the-rss-mega-archive.clin

    It's primitive... but it works... mostly...

    -------------------------------------------------

    #psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #AnteriorInsula #LossProcessing #Impulsivity #AdolescentMentalHealth #SuicidalIdeation #Neuroimaging #BrainActivation #EmotionalRegulation #DevelopmentalCognitiveNeuroscience #MentalHealthAwareness

  3. DATE: May 21, 2026 at 08:00PM
    SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG

    ** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
    -------------------------------------------------

    TITLE: Brain scans reveal how a teenager’s reaction to loss connects impulsivity and suicidal thoughts

    URL: psypost.org/brain-scans-reveal

    A neuroimaging study of adolescents found that the association between impulsivity and future suicidal thoughts depends on how the right anterior insula, a region of the brain involved in processing emotions, reacts to loss. In adolescents whose anterior insula reacted with strong activation to a small monetary loss, high impulsivity was associated with elevated suicidal thoughts a year later. In contrast, in adolescents whose anterior insula did not react strongly to loss, higher impulsivity was associated with lower levels of suicidal thoughts. The paper was published in Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience.

    If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or mental health matters, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 (or 800-273-8255) or visit the NSPL site.

    Suicide is currently the second leading cause of death among U.S. youth. Despite ongoing prevention efforts, statistics show that youth suicide rates have increased in recent years. Usually, suicidal behavior is preceded by periods during which a person thinks about death and suicide, a concept known as suicidal ideation. These thoughts can range from general contemplations about ending one’s life to making specific plans.

    Suicidal thoughts tend to appear when a person feels trapped, hopeless, isolated, or in unbearable emotional pain. They can occur alongside depression, trauma, substance use, or other situations of intense distress. Not every person with suicidal thoughts wants to die permanently, as many simply want their pain to stop or wish to escape an unbearable situation.

    Lead author Carly J. Lenniger and colleagues note that leading theories propose that behavioral traits such as impulsivity act as background vulnerabilities. These traits can make suicidal thoughts more likely to occur when a person experiences severe emotional distress.

    Impulsivity is a general tendency to take action without considering the consequences. Because of this, impulsive teenagers in distress might respond quickly with suicidal thoughts without fully considering other outcomes. However, previous studies have not shown a simple link between impulsivity and suicide, as impulsivity alone does not reliably differentiate between people who think about suicide and those who actually attempt it.

    The authors proposed that the way the brain processes negative outcomes and losses might affect how impulsivity relates to suicidal thoughts. They conducted a study to examine whether neural sensitivity to monetary loss influences this relationship during adolescence.

    The final study sample consisted of 63 adolescents between the ages of 13 and 17 at the start of the research. They were recruited from the Pittsburgh area, and 59 percent of the participants were female. Although the study originally enrolled 135 participants, the final sample only included those who completed all of the required questionnaires and brain scans.

    Importantly, two-thirds of the participants were classified as having a high familial risk for mental health issues because they had a parent with a lifetime history of disorders such as major depression or schizophrenia. The remaining third of the participants had no such family history. Interestingly, the high-risk group showed overall stronger brain activation in the anterior insula when experiencing a loss compared to the low-risk group.

    At the start of the study, participants completed assessments of impulsivity, suicidal thoughts, depression symptoms, and anhedonia, which is the inability to feel pleasure. They also underwent a brain scan using functional magnetic resonance imaging. During this scan, they completed an eight-minute guessing task.

    In this task, participants won one dollar on winning trials and lost 50 cents on losing trials. Although the participants believed their guesses determined the outcomes, the wins and losses were actually prearranged by the researchers. To ensure fair compensation, everyone received ten dollars at the end of the game regardless of their performance. One year later, participants again completed the assessment of suicidal thoughts.

    The brain scans revealed distinct clusters of active neurons in the anterior insula when participants experienced a monetary loss. The strength of this activation differed among participants, with some showing strong responses and others showing much weaker responses in this region during a loss.

    Further analyses showed that the link between impulsivity and future suicidal thoughts depended on how the right anterior insula reacted to these loss outcomes. Interestingly, in participants with lower brain activation to the loss, the association between impulsivity and suicidal thoughts was negative. This meant that highly impulsive individuals with low brain reactivity were actually less likely to experience future suicidal thoughts, whereas less impulsive individuals with low brain reactivity faced an elevated risk.

    Conversely, in teenagers with high brain activation to a loss, the link between impulsivity and suicidal thoughts was positive, meaning that highly impulsive individuals tended to report increased suicidal thoughts. Overall, seven participants had very low brain activity to the loss, ten had very high activity, and 46 had medium levels of activity. Among the 46 participants in the middle range, impulsivity was not associated with suicidal thoughts.

    The authors concluded that the relationship between impulsivity and future suicidal thoughts varied based on the brain’s reaction to a negative outcome. Impulsive adolescents appeared to be at an elevated risk only when they showed a heightened neural sensitivity to loss, whereas those with lower sensitivity appeared to have a reduced risk.

    These findings could point to specific targets for clinical therapy. For impulsive adolescents with highly reactive brains, building the capacity to tolerate distress and regulate emotional responses to negative experiences may be especially critical. In contrast, teenagers with a quieter brain response and low impulsivity may benefit more from therapies that encourage active engagement, such as behavioral activation, or methods that stimulate brain networks.

    The study contributes to the scientific understanding of the neural pathways underlying suicidal thoughts. However, it is important to note that the final sample size was relatively small due to a high number of participants who did not complete all scans and surveys. Additionally, the monetary loss experienced in the study was very small and might not fully capture how teenagers react to more personally relevant or severe life losses.

    The paper, “Anterior Insula Reactivity to Loss Moderates the Association Between Trait Impulsivity and Future Suicidal Ideation in Adolescents,” was published in 2026. It was authored by Carly J. Lenniger, Kristen L. Eckstrand, T.H. Stanley Seah, Jennifer S. Silk, Jamie L. Hanson, Melissa Nance, Morgan Lindenmuth, Gretchen Haas, Neal Ryan, and Erika E. Forbes.

    URL: psypost.org/brain-scans-reveal

    -------------------------------------------------

    DAILY EMAIL DIGEST: Email [email protected] -- no subject or message needed.

    Private, vetted email list for mental health professionals: clinicians-exchange.org

    Unofficial Psychology Today Xitter to toot feed at Psych Today Unofficial Bot @PTUnofficialBot

    NYU Information for Practice puts out 400-500 good quality health-related research posts per week but its too much for many people, so that bot is limited to just subscribers. You can read it or subscribe at @PsychResearchBot

    Since 1991 The National Psychologist has focused on keeping practicing psychologists current with news, information and items of interest. Check them out for more free articles, resources, and subscription information: nationalpsychologist.com

    EMAIL DAILY DIGEST OF RSS FEEDS -- SUBSCRIBE: subscribe-article-digests.clin

    READ ONLINE: read-the-rss-mega-archive.clin

    It's primitive... but it works... mostly...

    -------------------------------------------------

    #psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #AnteriorInsula #LossProcessing #Impulsivity #AdolescentMentalHealth #SuicidalIdeation #Neuroimaging #BrainActivation #EmotionalRegulation #DevelopmentalCognitiveNeuroscience #MentalHealthAwareness

  4. NRx submits 70,000-patient ketamine data to US FDA


    NRx Pharmaceuticals (나스닥: NRXP)는 70,000명 이상의 환자가 정맥 투여 케타민 또는 비강 S-케타민으로 치료받은 실제 세계…
    #NewsBeep #News #Medication #AcceleratedApproval #bipolardepression #depression #FastTrack #FDA #Health #ketamine #NRxPharmaceuticals #NRX-100 #NRXP #RealWorldEvidence #suicidalideation #UK #UnitedKingdom
    newsbeep.com/uk/369381/

  5. Fetterman’s brutally candid account of battling depression, feeling suicidal, being thrown out of his house

    We all know the drill by now. Lawmaker is in the news, lawmaker writes self-serving book, lawmaker promotes…
    #NewsBeep #News #US #USA #UnitedStates #UnitedStatesOfAmerica #Mentalhealth #candidaccount #depression #dr.mehmetoz #Gisele #Health #JohnFetterman #MentalHealth #suicidalideation
    newsbeep.com/us/285925/

  6. CW: Assisted suicide, state violence

    I am fuming.

    We are going through yet another cycle talking about #AssistedSuicide, where the topic gets discussed as an either/or issue.

    But there are certain topics where both, or even several, sides can be true.

    Assisted suicide (AS) is very much one such topic.

    We need to both keep fighting against the stigma surrounding #SuicidalIdeation & grant easy access to AS. At the very same time we need to criticize how the state is getting involved in the issue.

  7. CW: PTSD, Suicidal Ideation, YouTube

    #ptsd #suicidalideation #MentalHealthMatters #chronicpain

    #today I made Part I of a YouTube live about what happened to me a couple of weeks ago when my chronic pain took over my psyche due to 5 days of no sleep

    I'm going to try to make Part II later tonight. It took all the energy I have to get setup for Part 1 and I lost my train of thought 🧐

    youtube.com/live/aJI_QMQOxWA?f

    Be sure to subscribe 😃

    I need to get #Peertube !!!!

  8. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/393826 Efficacy of racemic ketamine or esketamine monotherapy for reducing suicidal ideation in uni- or bipolar depression: a systematic review and meta-analysis (Li, et al, 2024) #ketamine #psychedelic #psychedelics #suicidalideation #mentalhealth #depression #psychedelicresearch #ketaminetherapy

  9. How much does it take, to make one consider taking one’s life? I had a pocketful of pills, surf lapping at my boots, and a knife in my hand. My heart felt hollow and lifeless.
    buff.ly/3N7mi0S

    #LGBTQ #Transgender #SuicidalIdeation #MentalHealth

  10. There was a running joke in my department, our office beside a major highway. Whenever someone dumped surprise work on us, cracks about walking into traffic followed — a stress response soaked in gallows humour.
    buff.ly/3yyEoVP

    #LGBTQ #Transgender #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts

  11. CW: PTSD, SUICIDAL IDEATION, EUTHANASIA

    A couple of weeks ago the pain was too much to bare. Too many decades of pushing thru. I had nothing left. I wanted it to end

    I texted my psychologist "If we had legal euthanasia is be signing up"

    She made me promise I wouldn't end things because I'm having surgery in Sep

    I told her that if my angel comes for me, I'll be 1 step behind. My angel is Ellie Mae. If she comes to take me then I'm gone

    #ptsd #suicidalideation

    youtu.be/U2fPoDiZO8o?si=a3H83W

  12. Usually I have the office to myself on Fridays but yesterday my boss was there when I walked in. I was already in a foul mood and almost immediately snapped at him in a most inappropriate way.

    I don't know which is worse: the guilt I feel at having a boss who is so understanding of my propensity to lob unprofessional and hurtful things at him, or the fact that I'm just an asshole.

    #Depression
    #SuicidalIdeation
    #MentalHealth
    #Neurodivergent

  13. @MsDropbear425

    Well, hugs to you too!

    I should be clear that my need to turn my phone off was not meant to be a humble brag that I have too many friends. Mainly I am just avoiding my boss.

    There's nothing like seeing hashtags like #SelfLoathing and #ExistentialFutility to get me off my ass and realize that my life is not as bad as it could be.

    I'm open to conversation, if that floats your boat at all. #SuicidalIdeation is my thang, and I'm oh so familiar with self loathing.

    💙

  14. CW: Mental Health

    I could use some words of encouragement.

    Today's shitty mood was surely the start of a downhill slide into #SuicidalIdeation and a complete loss of all sense of self-worth or value.

    I'm not allowed access to alcohol or vicodin or handfuls of klonopin. In the next few hours the urge to down all three in large quantities is liable to fester and pulse with a power of its own.

    I want to be erased from the time line

    Make me never exist

    #Depression
    #Suicide

  15. CW: Suicide prevention

    A #SuicidePrevention meme I just saw suggests asking the #depressed person: "Are you having suicidal thoughts today?

    This is such a loving question! When I feel suicidal, my default position is usually: No one cares. By asking the question, the implication is obvious -- I CARE!

    In thirty-five years of struggling with #SuicidalIdeation, I don't think anyone except my therapist has ever asked that question -- despite being surrounded by supportive friends & family.

  16. Imagine knowing things that can help your depression and #SuicidalIdeation but not having the means to even do those things because you're facing #eviction #poverty & #disabled

    Now imagine being responsible for someone else's quality of life and knowing what would help them too and same issues

    youtu.be/SApOxZ7BMwE?si=9AsZbj

    This video explains the dangerous loop of depression but I can't even do these things because to help me cope with #CPTSD #MutualAid Saves lives Mutual Aid is #SuicidePrevention

  17. Persistence!

    When you fall off the horse . . .

    . . . and land head first on a sharp rock, and then get overtaken by that herd of bison that you were fleeing . . .

    . . . the thing to do is peel your congealed two-dimensional self up off the ground and get right back on the horse.

    I'm pleased to report that I have now gotten back on my horse.

    Many thanks for the supportive and kind words of encouragement that several of you sent.

    #Depression
    #MentalHealth
    #SuicidalIdeation
    #SuicidePrevention

  18. CW: Suicidal ideation

    My day did not go as expected in a big way.

    A day that's been on my calendar for > year.

    Triggered repeatedly.

    Logic that is probably faulty concludes that my life is pointless, and death by suicide is the best solution for all involved.

    No hasty decisions, as I'll probably feel more optimistic tomorrow (usually do).

    But right now I feel so alone and friendless and without reason to keep using up real people's oxygen

    #Suicide
    #SuicidalIdeation
    #MentalHealth
    #Depression

  19. Why did I just apologize to my #psychologist [ex] for me waiting 2 hours for our appointment this evening????

    I texted her that if I needed to cancel I would by yesterday so as not to be rude like her

    But she read it that I would let her know either way

    She's the fucking doctor, why didn't she confirm????

    PS. #psychologist do not do this to your patients with #ptsd and #suicidalideation

    Thankfully Ellie Mae is with me but other than her I'm on my own for my mental health

    Like most people

  20. CW: PTSD, SUICIDAL IDEATION

    #musicwomenwednesday

    I'm not sure I've shared this b4

    This is Kalaido - Misery

    What Kristina portrays in this video is pretty close to what I went thru the night I ran away in October

    I showed this video to my psychologist on my phone and her hands were shaking when she watched it

    Maybe that's why I don't have any upcoming appointments with her and haven't heard from her in weeks.

    youtu.be/FfyVcLeXU_o?si=rRKHsw

    #ptsd #suicidalideation

  21. TW: #SuicidalIdeation

    Today is the final day of 2023’s #InternationalMEAwarenessMonth #MEAwarenessMonth

    I have run out of personal, relevant blog-posts. So, given my continuing suïcidal ideätion, in which I daily struggle to convince myself to stick around, I thought reposting the song that has helped me of late was best. Via #Blogger “A Song for People with MECFS”

    crippledqueeranglo-europeanran