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#suicidalideation — Public Fediverse posts

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  1. DATE: July 25, 2026 at 12:00PM
    SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG

    ** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
    -------------------------------------------------

    TITLE: Anxiety and feelings of entrapment may connect psychotic distress to suicidal ideation

    URL: psypost.org/how-the-emotional-

    A recent study of 219 individuals experiencing psychosis and suicidal thoughts reveals that the emotional distress caused by hallucinations and delusions is strongly linked to the severity of suicidal thinking. This relationship operates through heightened anxiety and overwhelming feelings of being trapped, rather than being determined by the mere presence of psychotic symptoms. The research was published in the Journal of Affective Disorders.

    If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or mental health matters, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 (or 800-273-8255) or visit the NSPL site.

    Suicide rates are disproportionately high among people living with severe mental health conditions, including non-affective psychosis. Non-affective psychosis refers to disorders, such as schizophrenia, where the primary symptoms relate to a disconnection from reality without predominant mood shifts like mania. Individuals with these conditions often experience hallucinations, which are sensory experiences that others do not share.

    For decades, psychiatric diagnostics focused heavily on the physical severity of these visible symptoms. The intensity or frequency of hallucinations was thought to directly determine a patient’s overall well-being. However, clinical models have increasingly recognized that the subjective emotional pain arising from these symptoms has an enormous impact on a person’s risk for self-harm.

    Patricia Gooding, a psychological researcher at the University of Manchester, led a team to investigate how emotional responses to psychosis translate into suicidal thoughts. Gooding collaborated with Kamelia Harris, Sarah Peters, and Gillian Haddock. The group is affiliated with the University of Manchester and the Greater Manchester Mental Health National Health Service Foundation Trust.

    The researchers designed the study to test specific psychological theories of suicide. Many contemporary suicide models are transdiagnostic, meaning they focus on psychological processes that occur across diverse psychiatric conditions. These frameworks suggest that feelings of defeat and entrapment are the primary psychological drivers of suicidal thoughts.

    In transdiagnostic models, the concepts of defeat and entrapment originate from evolutionary psychology. Animals that lose a fight for territory experience a biological state of defeat, leading them to give up and display submissive behaviors. If the defeated animal cannot escape the perilous situation, it enters a state of entrapment.

    In humans, this arrested flight response is theorized to manifest as severe psychological distress. When people feel completely trapped by their own emotional pain and see no possibility of rescue, thoughts of suicide can emerge as a theoretical escape route.

    Anxiety is another frequent struggle for individuals living with psychosis. Intense worry or panic can thoroughly disrupt daily functioning and strain social relationships. Within cognitive-behavioral models of psychosis, anxiety and psychotic symptoms are thought to feed into one another in a cyclical manner. Paranoia can trigger severe anxiety, and high anxiety can severely exacerbate hallucinatory voices.

    The University of Manchester team suspected that this cycle of anxiety and psychotic distress might culminate in a deep sense of psychological entrapment. If a person feels trapped by their own mind, the intensity of their suicidal thoughts might elevate. They set out to map these specific psychological pathways using statistical modeling on a clinical population.

    The researchers analyzed data from adult participants who possessed a diagnosis of non-affective psychosis. These individuals were currently under the care of mental health services in the United Kingdom. Every participant in the study had experienced suicidal thoughts or behaviors within the three months prior to observation.

    The sample comprised 219 individuals, providing enough statistical power to test the intended psychological models. The demographic makeup of the group was mostly male and identified predominantly as white. The majority of the participants were either unemployed or officially exempted from employment due to their health status.

    Trained research assistants interviewed the participants using a variety of validated clinical tools. One key assessment was a semi-structured interview designed to grade the severity of positive psychotic symptoms. Positive symptoms refer to added clinical features like delusions, rather than missing functions like emotional flatness.

    The researchers used a tool known as the Psychotic Symptom Rating Scale to look beyond simple diagnosis. This instrument breaks down the experience of voices and delusions into multiple dimensions. The interviewers measured the specific amount of emotional distress each person felt as a direct result of their hallucinations and delusions.

    Participants completed several self-report questionnaires designed to capture their inner emotional landscape. They rated their feelings of defeat, entrapment, and hopelessness over recent weeks. In this context, hopelessness is defined as holding deeply negative expectations regarding the future. The researchers also measured the intensity of each participant’s suicidal ideation over the previous month.

    The team utilized a statistical method known as mediation analysis to dissect the relationships between these different mental states. Mediation analysis helps scientists figure out if a relationship between a starting variable and an outcome is explained by an intermediate step in the middle. The researchers controlled for general psychiatric symptoms to ensure that any observed associations were not simply the byproduct of a person being broadly unwell.

    The statistical modeling revealed robust indirect associations among the psychological variables. The distress stemming from auditory hallucinations and delusions predictably linked to the severity of suicidal ideation. This connection operated through a pathway involving general anxiety and feelings of entrapment.

    Specifically, individuals who felt intense emotional distress due to their psychosis often experienced higher levels of baseline anxiety. This elevated anxiety was then linked to stronger perceptions of being trapped by their circumstances. The feeling of entrapment was the final link in the chain, associating closely with highly severe suicidal thoughts.

    The researchers tested the pathway in the opposite direction and found another reliable mathematical connection. High levels of general anxiety predicted greater emotional distress in response to hallucinations and delusions. This distress was again associated with severe entrapment, which linked to severe suicidal ideation. The bi-directional nature of these findings supports the idea that anxiety and psychotic distress operate in a mutually reinforcing feedback loop.

    The team also swapped out the statistical variable for emotional distress and ran the same models using the strict severity levels of the hallucinations and delusions. When the researchers looked solely at the perceived intensity or frequency of the delusions, none of the pathways to suicidal ideation were statistically significant. This suggests that merely experiencing a hallucination does not natively drive suicidal thoughts. The psychological reaction to the experience acts as the actual catalyst.

    This finding regarding symptom severity versus emotional distress represents a major conceptual shift for psychiatric research. Historically, reducing the physical severity of a hallucination was the ultimate goal of pharmacological treatments such as antipsychotic medications. This study proposes that an individual might still hear frequent voices, but if they are no longer profoundly distressed by them, their risk of experiencing severe suicidal thoughts could drop.

    Previous qualitative interviews with patients map neatly onto these new statistical findings. People living with severe psychosis often describe an overwhelming sense of relentlessness. The continuous nature of the mental health struggle induces intense fear and a feeling of being completely overpowered by the illness.

    While the study provides a detailed psychological map of these internal processes, it does contain limitations. The research utilized a cross-sectional design, meaning all the interviews and questionnaires were completed at a single point in time. Because the respondents were not tracked sequentially over long durations, the researchers cannot state for certain that one feeling explicitly caused another.

    Another limitation involves how the team specifically measured anxiety. They utilized a single item from a broader clinical interview scale rather than a dedicated, comprehensive anxiety questionnaire. Anxiety has numerous cognitive and physical dimensions that a single interview question might fail to capture.

    The researchers advocate for future studies using micro-longitudinal tracking to iron out these remaining questions. This research method involves pinging participants on mobile devices multiple times a day to log their immediate thoughts and feelings. Tracking momentary fluctuations in anxiety, distress, and entrapment could establish causative links over a period of hours or days.

    The results present an argument for prioritizing the subjective emotional experiences of patients in clinical settings. Contemporary therapies aimed at suicide prevention often focus broadly on mood or psychiatric diagnosis. The authors suggest that mental health professionals should collaboratively address the agonizing feeling of being trapped by psychotic symptoms to potentially reduce the severity of suicidal ideation.

    The study, “The role of anxiety in the relationships between psychotic experiences and suicidal ideation severity,” was authored by Patricia Gooding, Kamelia Harris, Sarah Peters, and Gillian Haddock.

    URL: psypost.org/how-the-emotional-

    -------------------------------------------------

    Private, vetted email list for mental health professionals: clinicians-exchange.org

    Unofficial Psychology Today Xitter to toot feed at Psych Today Unofficial Bot @PTUnofficialBot

    -------------------------------------------------

    #psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #AnxietyAndPsychosis #SuicidalIdeation #EntrapmentOfTheMind #PsychoticDistress #HallucinationsAndDelusions #MentalHealthResearch #TransdiagnosticModels #SupportIfStruggling #SuicidePrevention #HopeAndHopefulness

  2. DATE: July 25, 2026 at 12:00PM
    SOURCE: PSYPOST.ORG

    ** Research quality varies widely from fantastic to small exploratory studies. Please check research methods when conclusions are very important to you. **
    -------------------------------------------------

    TITLE: Anxiety and feelings of entrapment may connect psychotic distress to suicidal ideation

    URL: psypost.org/how-the-emotional-

    A recent study of 219 individuals experiencing psychosis and suicidal thoughts reveals that the emotional distress caused by hallucinations and delusions is strongly linked to the severity of suicidal thinking. This relationship operates through heightened anxiety and overwhelming feelings of being trapped, rather than being determined by the mere presence of psychotic symptoms. The research was published in the Journal of Affective Disorders.

    If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or mental health matters, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 (or 800-273-8255) or visit the NSPL site.

    Suicide rates are disproportionately high among people living with severe mental health conditions, including non-affective psychosis. Non-affective psychosis refers to disorders, such as schizophrenia, where the primary symptoms relate to a disconnection from reality without predominant mood shifts like mania. Individuals with these conditions often experience hallucinations, which are sensory experiences that others do not share.

    For decades, psychiatric diagnostics focused heavily on the physical severity of these visible symptoms. The intensity or frequency of hallucinations was thought to directly determine a patient’s overall well-being. However, clinical models have increasingly recognized that the subjective emotional pain arising from these symptoms has an enormous impact on a person’s risk for self-harm.

    Patricia Gooding, a psychological researcher at the University of Manchester, led a team to investigate how emotional responses to psychosis translate into suicidal thoughts. Gooding collaborated with Kamelia Harris, Sarah Peters, and Gillian Haddock. The group is affiliated with the University of Manchester and the Greater Manchester Mental Health National Health Service Foundation Trust.

    The researchers designed the study to test specific psychological theories of suicide. Many contemporary suicide models are transdiagnostic, meaning they focus on psychological processes that occur across diverse psychiatric conditions. These frameworks suggest that feelings of defeat and entrapment are the primary psychological drivers of suicidal thoughts.

    In transdiagnostic models, the concepts of defeat and entrapment originate from evolutionary psychology. Animals that lose a fight for territory experience a biological state of defeat, leading them to give up and display submissive behaviors. If the defeated animal cannot escape the perilous situation, it enters a state of entrapment.

    In humans, this arrested flight response is theorized to manifest as severe psychological distress. When people feel completely trapped by their own emotional pain and see no possibility of rescue, thoughts of suicide can emerge as a theoretical escape route.

    Anxiety is another frequent struggle for individuals living with psychosis. Intense worry or panic can thoroughly disrupt daily functioning and strain social relationships. Within cognitive-behavioral models of psychosis, anxiety and psychotic symptoms are thought to feed into one another in a cyclical manner. Paranoia can trigger severe anxiety, and high anxiety can severely exacerbate hallucinatory voices.

    The University of Manchester team suspected that this cycle of anxiety and psychotic distress might culminate in a deep sense of psychological entrapment. If a person feels trapped by their own mind, the intensity of their suicidal thoughts might elevate. They set out to map these specific psychological pathways using statistical modeling on a clinical population.

    The researchers analyzed data from adult participants who possessed a diagnosis of non-affective psychosis. These individuals were currently under the care of mental health services in the United Kingdom. Every participant in the study had experienced suicidal thoughts or behaviors within the three months prior to observation.

    The sample comprised 219 individuals, providing enough statistical power to test the intended psychological models. The demographic makeup of the group was mostly male and identified predominantly as white. The majority of the participants were either unemployed or officially exempted from employment due to their health status.

    Trained research assistants interviewed the participants using a variety of validated clinical tools. One key assessment was a semi-structured interview designed to grade the severity of positive psychotic symptoms. Positive symptoms refer to added clinical features like delusions, rather than missing functions like emotional flatness.

    The researchers used a tool known as the Psychotic Symptom Rating Scale to look beyond simple diagnosis. This instrument breaks down the experience of voices and delusions into multiple dimensions. The interviewers measured the specific amount of emotional distress each person felt as a direct result of their hallucinations and delusions.

    Participants completed several self-report questionnaires designed to capture their inner emotional landscape. They rated their feelings of defeat, entrapment, and hopelessness over recent weeks. In this context, hopelessness is defined as holding deeply negative expectations regarding the future. The researchers also measured the intensity of each participant’s suicidal ideation over the previous month.

    The team utilized a statistical method known as mediation analysis to dissect the relationships between these different mental states. Mediation analysis helps scientists figure out if a relationship between a starting variable and an outcome is explained by an intermediate step in the middle. The researchers controlled for general psychiatric symptoms to ensure that any observed associations were not simply the byproduct of a person being broadly unwell.

    The statistical modeling revealed robust indirect associations among the psychological variables. The distress stemming from auditory hallucinations and delusions predictably linked to the severity of suicidal ideation. This connection operated through a pathway involving general anxiety and feelings of entrapment.

    Specifically, individuals who felt intense emotional distress due to their psychosis often experienced higher levels of baseline anxiety. This elevated anxiety was then linked to stronger perceptions of being trapped by their circumstances. The feeling of entrapment was the final link in the chain, associating closely with highly severe suicidal thoughts.

    The researchers tested the pathway in the opposite direction and found another reliable mathematical connection. High levels of general anxiety predicted greater emotional distress in response to hallucinations and delusions. This distress was again associated with severe entrapment, which linked to severe suicidal ideation. The bi-directional nature of these findings supports the idea that anxiety and psychotic distress operate in a mutually reinforcing feedback loop.

    The team also swapped out the statistical variable for emotional distress and ran the same models using the strict severity levels of the hallucinations and delusions. When the researchers looked solely at the perceived intensity or frequency of the delusions, none of the pathways to suicidal ideation were statistically significant. This suggests that merely experiencing a hallucination does not natively drive suicidal thoughts. The psychological reaction to the experience acts as the actual catalyst.

    This finding regarding symptom severity versus emotional distress represents a major conceptual shift for psychiatric research. Historically, reducing the physical severity of a hallucination was the ultimate goal of pharmacological treatments such as antipsychotic medications. This study proposes that an individual might still hear frequent voices, but if they are no longer profoundly distressed by them, their risk of experiencing severe suicidal thoughts could drop.

    Previous qualitative interviews with patients map neatly onto these new statistical findings. People living with severe psychosis often describe an overwhelming sense of relentlessness. The continuous nature of the mental health struggle induces intense fear and a feeling of being completely overpowered by the illness.

    While the study provides a detailed psychological map of these internal processes, it does contain limitations. The research utilized a cross-sectional design, meaning all the interviews and questionnaires were completed at a single point in time. Because the respondents were not tracked sequentially over long durations, the researchers cannot state for certain that one feeling explicitly caused another.

    Another limitation involves how the team specifically measured anxiety. They utilized a single item from a broader clinical interview scale rather than a dedicated, comprehensive anxiety questionnaire. Anxiety has numerous cognitive and physical dimensions that a single interview question might fail to capture.

    The researchers advocate for future studies using micro-longitudinal tracking to iron out these remaining questions. This research method involves pinging participants on mobile devices multiple times a day to log their immediate thoughts and feelings. Tracking momentary fluctuations in anxiety, distress, and entrapment could establish causative links over a period of hours or days.

    The results present an argument for prioritizing the subjective emotional experiences of patients in clinical settings. Contemporary therapies aimed at suicide prevention often focus broadly on mood or psychiatric diagnosis. The authors suggest that mental health professionals should collaboratively address the agonizing feeling of being trapped by psychotic symptoms to potentially reduce the severity of suicidal ideation.

    The study, “The role of anxiety in the relationships between psychotic experiences and suicidal ideation severity,” was authored by Patricia Gooding, Kamelia Harris, Sarah Peters, and Gillian Haddock.

    URL: psypost.org/how-the-emotional-

    -------------------------------------------------

    Private, vetted email list for mental health professionals: clinicians-exchange.org

    Unofficial Psychology Today Xitter to toot feed at Psych Today Unofficial Bot @PTUnofficialBot

    -------------------------------------------------

    #psychology #counseling #socialwork #psychotherapy @psychotherapist @psychotherapists @psychology @socialpsych @socialwork @psychiatry #mentalhealth #psychiatry #healthcare #depression #psychotherapist #AnxietyAndPsychosis #SuicidalIdeation #EntrapmentOfTheMind #PsychoticDistress #HallucinationsAndDelusions #MentalHealthResearch #TransdiagnosticModels #SupportIfStruggling #SuicidePrevention #HopeAndHopefulness

  3. This week's blog post is about intrusive thoughts and it starts with: "I am a horrible, disgusting person, idek, what the fuck is WRONG with me" and ends with: "Hey now. What if it wasn't stupid. What if that was how I dealt with it?"

    Join me on a journey where we discover what's behind the negative self talk and despair, where it comes from and how self-compassion resolves it:

    aurin.mataroa.blog/blog/intrus

    #MentalHealth #IntrusiveThoughts #NegativeSelfTalk #SelfHate #SelfCare #SelfLove #Abuse #AbuseSurvivor #incest #cocsa #CSA #suicidalIdeation

  4. Fetterman’s brutally candid account of battling depression, feeling suicidal, being thrown out of his house

    We all know the drill by now. Lawmaker is in the news, lawmaker writes self-serving book, lawmaker promotes…
    #NewsBeep #News #US #USA #UnitedStates #UnitedStatesOfAmerica #Mentalhealth #candidaccount #depression #dr.mehmetoz #Gisele #Health #JohnFetterman #MentalHealth #suicidalideation
    newsbeep.com/us/285925/

  5. Fetterman’s brutally candid account of battling depression, feeling suicidal, being thrown out of his house

    We all know the drill by now. Lawmaker is in the news, lawmaker writes self-serving book, lawmaker promotes…
    #NewsBeep #News #US #USA #UnitedStates #UnitedStatesOfAmerica #Mentalhealth #candidaccount #depression #dr.mehmetoz #Gisele #Health #JohnFetterman #MentalHealth #suicidalideation
    newsbeep.com/us/285925/

  6. CW: Direct Eye Contact

    #today I'm waiting to see the psychiatrist at the outpatient program

    #PTSD #suicidalideation

  7. CW: Assisted suicide, state violence

    I am fuming.

    We are going through yet another cycle talking about #AssistedSuicide, where the topic gets discussed as an either/or issue.

    But there are certain topics where both, or even several, sides can be true.

    Assisted suicide (AS) is very much one such topic.

    We need to both keep fighting against the stigma surrounding #SuicidalIdeation & grant easy access to AS. At the very same time we need to criticize how the state is getting involved in the issue.

  8. CW: Assisted suicide, state violence

    I am fuming.

    We are going through yet another cycle talking about #AssistedSuicide, where the topic gets discussed as an either/or issue.

    But there are certain topics where both, or even several, sides can be true.

    Assisted suicide (AS) is very much one such topic.

    We need to both keep fighting against the stigma surrounding #SuicidalIdeation & grant easy access to AS. At the very same time we need to criticize how the state is getting involved in the issue.

  9. CW: PTSD, Suicidal Ideation, YouTube

    #ptsd #suicidalideation #MentalHealthMatters #chronicpain

    #today I made Part I of a YouTube live about what happened to me a couple of weeks ago when my chronic pain took over my psyche due to 5 days of no sleep

    I'm going to try to make Part II later tonight. It took all the energy I have to get setup for Part 1 and I lost my train of thought 🧐

    youtube.com/live/aJI_QMQOxWA?f

    Be sure to subscribe 😃

    I need to get #Peertube !!!!

  10. CW: PTSD, Suicidal Ideation, YouTube

    #ptsd #suicidalideation #MentalHealthMatters #chronicpain

    #today I made Part I of a YouTube live about what happened to me a couple of weeks ago when my chronic pain took over my psyche due to 5 days of no sleep

    I'm going to try to make Part II later tonight. It took all the energy I have to get setup for Part 1 and I lost my train of thought 🧐

    youtube.com/live/aJI_QMQOxWA?f

    Be sure to subscribe 😃

    I need to get #Peertube !!!!

  11. pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/393826 Efficacy of racemic ketamine or esketamine monotherapy for reducing suicidal ideation in uni- or bipolar depression: a systematic review and meta-analysis (Li, et al, 2024) #ketamine #psychedelic #psychedelics #suicidalideation #mentalhealth #depression #psychedelicresearch #ketaminetherapy

  12. How much does it take, to make one consider taking one’s life? I had a pocketful of pills, surf lapping at my boots, and a knife in my hand. My heart felt hollow and lifeless.
    buff.ly/3N7mi0S

    #LGBTQ #Transgender #SuicidalIdeation #MentalHealth

  13. How much does it take, to make one consider taking one’s life? I had a pocketful of pills, surf lapping at my boots, and a knife in my hand. My heart felt hollow and lifeless.
    buff.ly/3N7mi0S

    #LGBTQ #Transgender #SuicidalIdeation #MentalHealth

  14. There was a running joke in my department, our office beside a major highway. Whenever someone dumped surprise work on us, cracks about walking into traffic followed — a stress response soaked in gallows humour.
    buff.ly/3yyEoVP

    #LGBTQ #Transgender #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts

  15. There was a running joke in my department, our office beside a major highway. Whenever someone dumped surprise work on us, cracks about walking into traffic followed — a stress response soaked in gallows humour.
    buff.ly/3yyEoVP

    #LGBTQ #Transgender #SuicidalIdeation #SuicidalThoughts

  16. CW: PTSD, SUICIDAL IDEATION, EUTHANASIA

    A couple of weeks ago the pain was too much to bare. Too many decades of pushing thru. I had nothing left. I wanted it to end

    I texted my psychologist "If we had legal euthanasia is be signing up"

    She made me promise I wouldn't end things because I'm having surgery in Sep

    I told her that if my angel comes for me, I'll be 1 step behind. My angel is Ellie Mae. If she comes to take me then I'm gone

    #ptsd #suicidalideation

    youtu.be/U2fPoDiZO8o?si=a3H83W

  17. CW: PTSD, SUICIDAL IDEATION, EUTHANASIA

    A couple of weeks ago the pain was too much to bare. Too many decades of pushing thru. I had nothing left. I wanted it to end

    I texted my psychologist "If we had legal euthanasia is be signing up"

    She made me promise I wouldn't end things because I'm having surgery in Sep

    I told her that if my angel comes for me, I'll be 1 step behind. My angel is Ellie Mae. If she comes to take me then I'm gone

    #ptsd #suicidalideation

    youtu.be/U2fPoDiZO8o?si=a3H83W

  18. Usually I have the office to myself on Fridays but yesterday my boss was there when I walked in. I was already in a foul mood and almost immediately snapped at him in a most inappropriate way.

    I don't know which is worse: the guilt I feel at having a boss who is so understanding of my propensity to lob unprofessional and hurtful things at him, or the fact that I'm just an asshole.

    #Depression
    #SuicidalIdeation
    #MentalHealth
    #Neurodivergent

  19. Usually I have the office to myself on Fridays but yesterday my boss was there when I walked in. I was already in a foul mood and almost immediately snapped at him in a most inappropriate way.

    I don't know which is worse: the guilt I feel at having a boss who is so understanding of my propensity to lob unprofessional and hurtful things at him, or the fact that I'm just an asshole.

    #Depression
    #SuicidalIdeation
    #MentalHealth
    #Neurodivergent

  20. @MsDropbear425

    Well, hugs to you too!

    I should be clear that my need to turn my phone off was not meant to be a humble brag that I have too many friends. Mainly I am just avoiding my boss.

    There's nothing like seeing hashtags like #SelfLoathing and #ExistentialFutility to get me off my ass and realize that my life is not as bad as it could be.

    I'm open to conversation, if that floats your boat at all. #SuicidalIdeation is my thang, and I'm oh so familiar with self loathing.

    💙

  21. @MsDropbear425

    Well, hugs to you too!

    I should be clear that my need to turn my phone off was not meant to be a humble brag that I have too many friends. Mainly I am just avoiding my boss.

    There's nothing like seeing hashtags like #SelfLoathing and #ExistentialFutility to get me off my ass and realize that my life is not as bad as it could be.

    I'm open to conversation, if that floats your boat at all. #SuicidalIdeation is my thang, and I'm oh so familiar with self loathing.

    💙

  22. CW: Mental Health

    I could use some words of encouragement.

    Today's shitty mood was surely the start of a downhill slide into #SuicidalIdeation and a complete loss of all sense of self-worth or value.

    I'm not allowed access to alcohol or vicodin or handfuls of klonopin. In the next few hours the urge to down all three in large quantities is liable to fester and pulse with a power of its own.

    I want to be erased from the time line

    Make me never exist

    #Depression
    #Suicide

  23. CW: Mental Health

    I could use some words of encouragement.

    Today's shitty mood was surely the start of a downhill slide into #SuicidalIdeation and a complete loss of all sense of self-worth or value.

    I'm not allowed access to alcohol or vicodin or handfuls of klonopin. In the next few hours the urge to down all three in large quantities is liable to fester and pulse with a power of its own.

    I want to be erased from the time line

    Make me never exist

    #Depression
    #Suicide

  24. CW: Suicide prevention

    A #SuicidePrevention meme I just saw suggests asking the #depressed person: "Are you having suicidal thoughts today?

    This is such a loving question! When I feel suicidal, my default position is usually: No one cares. By asking the question, the implication is obvious -- I CARE!

    In thirty-five years of struggling with #SuicidalIdeation, I don't think anyone except my therapist has ever asked that question -- despite being surrounded by supportive friends & family.

  25. CW: Suicide prevention

    A #SuicidePrevention meme I just saw suggests asking the #depressed person: "Are you having suicidal thoughts today?

    This is such a loving question! When I feel suicidal, my default position is usually: No one cares. By asking the question, the implication is obvious -- I CARE!

    In thirty-five years of struggling with #SuicidalIdeation, I don't think anyone except my therapist has ever asked that question -- despite being surrounded by supportive friends & family.

  26. Imagine knowing things that can help your depression and #SuicidalIdeation but not having the means to even do those things because you're facing #eviction #poverty & #disabled

    Now imagine being responsible for someone else's quality of life and knowing what would help them too and same issues

    youtu.be/SApOxZ7BMwE?si=9AsZbj

    This video explains the dangerous loop of depression but I can't even do these things because to help me cope with #CPTSD #MutualAid Saves lives Mutual Aid is #SuicidePrevention

  27. Persistence!

    When you fall off the horse . . .

    . . . and land head first on a sharp rock, and then get overtaken by that herd of bison that you were fleeing . . .

    . . . the thing to do is peel your congealed two-dimensional self up off the ground and get right back on the horse.

    I'm pleased to report that I have now gotten back on my horse.

    Many thanks for the supportive and kind words of encouragement that several of you sent.

    #Depression
    #MentalHealth
    #SuicidalIdeation
    #SuicidePrevention

  28. Persistence!

    When you fall off the horse . . .

    . . . and land head first on a sharp rock, and then get overtaken by that herd of bison that you were fleeing . . .

    . . . the thing to do is peel your congealed two-dimensional self up off the ground and get right back on the horse.

    I'm pleased to report that I have now gotten back on my horse.

    Many thanks for the supportive and kind words of encouragement that several of you sent.

    #Depression
    #MentalHealth
    #SuicidalIdeation
    #SuicidePrevention

  29. CW: Suicidal ideation

    My day did not go as expected in a big way.

    A day that's been on my calendar for > year.

    Triggered repeatedly.

    Logic that is probably faulty concludes that my life is pointless, and death by suicide is the best solution for all involved.

    No hasty decisions, as I'll probably feel more optimistic tomorrow (usually do).

    But right now I feel so alone and friendless and without reason to keep using up real people's oxygen

    #Suicide
    #SuicidalIdeation
    #MentalHealth
    #Depression

  30. CW: Suicidal ideation

    My day did not go as expected in a big way.

    A day that's been on my calendar for > year.

    Triggered repeatedly.

    Logic that is probably faulty concludes that my life is pointless, and death by suicide is the best solution for all involved.

    No hasty decisions, as I'll probably feel more optimistic tomorrow (usually do).

    But right now I feel so alone and friendless and without reason to keep using up real people's oxygen

    #Suicide
    #SuicidalIdeation
    #MentalHealth
    #Depression

  31. Why did I just apologize to my #psychologist [ex] for me waiting 2 hours for our appointment this evening????

    I texted her that if I needed to cancel I would by yesterday so as not to be rude like her

    But she read it that I would let her know either way

    She's the fucking doctor, why didn't she confirm????

    PS. #psychologist do not do this to your patients with #ptsd and #suicidalideation

    Thankfully Ellie Mae is with me but other than her I'm on my own for my mental health

    Like most people

  32. CW: PTSD, SUICIDAL IDEATION

    #musicwomenwednesday

    I'm not sure I've shared this b4

    This is Kalaido - Misery

    What Kristina portrays in this video is pretty close to what I went thru the night I ran away in October

    I showed this video to my psychologist on my phone and her hands were shaking when she watched it

    Maybe that's why I don't have any upcoming appointments with her and haven't heard from her in weeks.

    youtu.be/FfyVcLeXU_o?si=rRKHsw

    #ptsd #suicidalideation

  33. @wilful

    I am convinced that the struggle is worth it. I encourage patience with oneself when dealing with #SuicidalIdeation. I've been there. I've gone years with hardly a day off from SI, convinced of my unlovability, convinced I would be lonely forever, convinced that I was worthless and just using up valuable oxygen that better people than me could use.

    You are lovable, and you deserve happiness. The pain today may be unbearable, but please don't give up. 💙

    #Suicide
    #SuicidePrevention

  34. #today I moved down to XL Roxy board shorts!!! I've haven't had a pair since like the 80s lol But I still like them 🏄‍♀️🌊🩳🏊‍♀️

    And a new t-shirt in XL too!!!

    The sweater is really old and I forgot it had a belt. No idea where that went to

    I'm struggling with the #PTSD & #SUICIDALIDEATION tonight at work. I'm teeing to get all this shit done so I can leave on Monday

    But, once again, my #psychologist canceled on me. I don't know what to do about her. I need some continuity with my struggles 🧵👇🏽