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Adri's Blog 💋🎧🥵📖🔞 @[email protected] · 2026-05-13 · 12:00 UTC

Superstitious? Me? Pfft… Unless the Universe is Listening.

Are you superstitious?

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Am I Superstitious? Let’s Just Say… It’s Complicated.

This morning, my son and his buddies threw out a dangerous question: “Are you superstitious?”

Now, logically, I want to say no. I don’t walk around tossing salt over my shoulder or fearing black cats. But if we’re being honest… I also refuse to say things like “Wow, nothing has gone wrong today!” because I know the universe is listening.

So, am I superstitious? Let’s just say I respect the possibility of unseen forces—but I’m also not afraid to test them.

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Let’s break it down.

1. The ‘Don’t Jinx It’ Rule (AKA, I’m Not Stupid)

You ever confidently say something, only for life to immediately slap you in the face?

🔹 Example: “Ugh, I never get sick.” Boom—suddenly, I’m drowning in tissues and self-pity.
🔹 Pain Level: 9/10. Because why does the universe have to be so petty?

✅ How I Handle It: I knock on wood. Every time. Even if it’s fake. Even if people are watching. If I forget? You best believe I’m mentally whispering “no jinx, no jinx, no jinx” to undo the damage.

2. The ‘Something Feels Off’ Rule (My Sixth Sense is Real)

I don’t know if it’s energy, instinct, or just years of experience with people being sketchy, but if something feels wrong, I listen.

🔹 Example: Walking into a place and feeling an immediate, unexplainable sense of nope.
🔹 Pain Level: 10/10 if ignored. Because the ONE TIME I brushed it off, I ended up in a situation I never should have been in.

✅ How I Handle It: If my gut tells me to leave, I leave. No debating, no justifying. The last thing I need is to become the main character in a bad horror movie.

3. The ‘Ghosts? Prove Me Wrong’ Rule (I’m Ready for This Fight)

Unlike most people, I don’t fear ghosts, Ouija boards, or haunted places—I’m fascinated by them. Do I believe in spirits and the paranormal? Not really.

But am I willing to test it? Hell yes.

🔹 Example: While some people refuse to step foot in a haunted house, I’m the one saying, “Alright, if something’s here, show yourself.”
🔹 Pain Level: TBD. But honestly, if a ghost did prove me wrong, I’d be more excited than scared.

✅ How I Handle It: If the supernatural wants my attention, it better bring receipts. Until then, I’m keeping my skepticism and my curiosity wide open.

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So, Am I Superstitious?

Let’s put it this way—I don’t live in fear of bad luck, but I also don’t poke the bear (except when it comes to ghosts, apparently).

If knocking on wood, trusting my instincts, and challenging the unknown keeps things interesting, then I’m all in.

Now, tell me—are you superstitious?

Or are you the type to laugh in the face of fate?

Drop your thoughts in the comments… but if your luck suddenly changes, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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Adri's Blog 💋🎧🥵📖🔞 @[email protected] · 2026-05-09 · 10:00 UTC

My Secret Obsession: Dark Romance Audiobooks & The Voices That Make Me Swoon

What’s something most people don’t know about you?

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What’s Something Most People Don’t Know About Me?

If you asked Chat Ludlow, the commanding king of the dark Fae and richest man on Earth, what most people don’t know about him, he’d probably smirk and say, “Everything. They only see what I let them.”

That, my friends, is what I’m aiming for here—a little mystery, a little intrigue, and a lot of fun.

So, what’s something most people don’t know about me?

Well, I’m not just a dark romance enthusiast—oh no. I’ve got layers, much like Chat’s intricate plans to make Belle his forever (cue the swoon).

My Secret Obsession? Dark Romance Audiobooks 🎧

Yup, you read that right. While I live for crafting my own sizzling stories, I’ve got another obsession that’s just as intense: dark romance audiobooks. And not just any narrators will do—no, no.

My go-tos are the deliciously deep voices of Aiden Snow and Teddy Hamilton.

There’s something about the way they bring the tension, passion, and raw emotion of a story to life that keeps me hooked for hours.

Think of it as the Chat Ludlow experience—dangerous, seductive, and oh-so-intoxicating. Much like Belle, I can’t help but swoon every time those voices take over my headphones.

Just like how Chat’s deep, commanding voice sends Belle into a fluster, audiobooks narrated by these legends have the power to take any romance to the next level.

If you’re not already obsessed, trust me—you’re missing out on the ultimate audio romance experience.

Why Audiobooks? Because They Let You Escape.

Life, much like the worlds Chat and Belle navigate, can get overwhelming.

Between work, life, and the chaos in between, we all need a way to escape. And for me, that’s pressing play on a dark romance audiobook and letting those velvety voices take me into another world.

It’s a bit like falling headfirst into one of Chat’s steamy power games—except this time, it’s Aiden Snow telling me all the dirty details, and I don’t have to lift a finger.

When you listen to Aiden Snow or Teddy Hamilton, it’s like having your very own Chat Ludlow right in your ear, whispering all those dangerously sweet nothings.

What’s not to love? You can dive into a world of Fae kings, ruthless CEOs, and unrelenting passion—all while folding your laundry (because multitasking is key, am I right?).

Everyone loves a good escape.

Whether you’re listening to a podcast or, like me, you’re falling for a brooding fictional alpha on audio, there’s something magical about immersive experiences.

What This Says About Me (and Chat)

Now, I know what you’re thinking—What does an obsession with dark romance audiobooks have to do with writing or being Chat Ludlow’s obsession?

Well, everything, actually. People expect you to be a certain way based on what you create, but there’s always more beneath the surface.

For example, Chat may come off as a dominant, ruthless man in control of everything, but underneath it all, he’s fiercely in love with Belle—someone who softens his edges and makes him vulnerable.

Similarly, when I’m not writing, I’m melting into the worlds created by my favourite narrators, where love, danger, and passion intertwine in a way that’s just so satisfying.

Your Turn: What Don’t People Know About You?

Okay, now it’s your turn. I’ve spilled my secret—dark romance audiobooks narrated by the dreamy Aiden Snow and Teddy Hamilton. Chef’s kiss, right?

What’s something about you that people don’t expect?

Do you also escape into stories when life gets overwhelming, or is there another secret passion you’re hiding?

Drop a comment below and tell me your favourite audiobook narrator or what surprising hobby you’re obsessed with.

You never know—you might just find a fellow audiobook addict (and I’ll definitely be here fangirling alongside you).

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Adri's Blog 💋🎧🥵📖🔞 @[email protected] · 2026-04-19 · 14:00 UTC

Culinary Adventures: When Food Abroad Bites Back!

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Prepare your taste buds and buckle up for a gastronomic rollercoaster ride as we explore the wild world of culinary adventures abroad. From mouth-watering delicacies to unexpected surprises, join me as we delve into the delightful and sometimes downright daring realm of international cuisine.

https://benable.com/abnolte/81c35f813073af56266c

1. The Spicy Spectacle

You pride yourself on your tolerance for heat, so when the friendly street vendor in Bangkok offers you a taste of their “mild” curry, you confidently accept with a smile. But as the first fiery bite hits your tongue like a flamethrower in a chili factory, you quickly realize that you may have underestimated the true meaning of “Thai spicy.” Cue the frantic gulps of water and the impromptu fire-breathing performance that leaves your fellow diners both impressed and slightly concerned for your well-being.

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2. The Mystery Meat Mishap

You’re feeling adventurous, so when the menu at that quaint little bistro in Paris lists “escargot” as the house specialty, you decide to throw caution to the wind and give it a try. But as you take your first tentative bite of the slimy delicacy, you can’t shake the sinking feeling that you may have just eaten something that was alive mere moments ago. Cue the existential crisis and the fervent vow to stick to more familiar fare for the remainder of your culinary adventures.

https://benable.com/abnolte/81c35f813073af56266c/details?detail_id=5416811

3. The Cultural Conundrum

You’re determined to immerse yourself in the local culture, so when your gracious host in Tokyo presents you with a steaming bowl of what can only be described as “mystery soup,” you graciously accept with a smile and a bow. But as you tentatively take a sip and try to identify the various unidentifiable floating objects, you realize that sometimes, cultural immersion comes with a side of gastrointestinal distress. Cue the polite nods and the silent prayers for a speedy recovery as you struggle to maintain your composure in the face of culinary adversity.

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4. The Street Food Fiasco

You’ve heard rave reviews about the street food scene in Marrakech, so when you stumble upon a bustling market teeming with tantalizing smells and exotic flavors, you can’t resist the siren call of the street vendors. But as you dig into your first bite of falafel, you quickly realize that street food adventures come with their own set of risks – namely, the inevitable battle with food poisoning that leaves you regretting every culinary decision you’ve ever made.

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5. The Sweet Surprise

Amidst the chaos and confusion of culinary mishaps abroad, sometimes you stumble upon a hidden gem that restores your faith in the power of international cuisine. Whether it’s a piping hot plate of pad thai in Bangkok or a decadent slice of tiramisu in Rome, these unexpected delights serve as a delicious reminder that sometimes, the best culinary adventures are the ones that catch you by surprise.

https://benable.com/abnolte/81c35f813073af56266c

So there you have it, fellow foodies – a humorous glimpse into the world of culinary adventures abroad, where every bite is an adventure and every meal is a memory. Remember, no matter how many culinary mishaps you encounter along the way, it’s all part of the delicious journey. Until next time, happy eating and may your taste buds be forever adventurous!

This is the second last post about Travelling…..keep your eyes peeled for the next blogs all about????

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The Theoretical Doctor @[email protected] · 2026-01-13 · 01:00 UTC

Lazy Days As A Medical Officer

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Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?

While I’m at work, I’d be looking forward to returning home or towards my off day. In contrary, while I’m at home or on my off day, I’d be thinking about returning to work.

Do you feel the same way?

Previously, as a House Officer, I’m used to the “one off day per week”. Whereas, as a Medical Officer, weekends and public holidays are granted off days, except if you’re well… oncall and that depends on your current department as well as some departments require you to put in a half day shift during weekends or public holidays.

I’d say for me, considering I live alone and I don’t even own a car here in Sarawak, I’m pretty much lazy and unproductive to the point I get restless sometimes.

That’s counter productive as rest days are meant to make you feel… rested, right?

Thus, on my off days, since I’m an early riser, I try not to disturb my circadian rhythm by getting up at the same time as usual every morning, partly because I forgot to off the alarm or somehow, my body clock just wakes me up every time.

To feel so-called “productive”, I’d do some studying with my morning coffee till I well, lose my focus, then I start wondering about lunch and start cooking, handwash my clothes because I’m too lazy to walk downstairs with a bag of clothes and finally doze off for my afternoon nap.

I’d then wake up in the evening to have dinner and pack my essentials and bag for work the following day before finally, retiring to bed early.

I really need to be more productive during my off days.

Even me writing this just sounds too depressing.

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The Theoretical Doctor @[email protected] · 2026-01-12 · 01:00 UTC

Reflection: 2 Months As A Floating Medical Officer

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At the time of writing this article, I’m on leave which I took from the 1st of October till 15th of October, which my Head of Department (HOD) was more than kind enough to allow.

I needed the break, perhaps it was an adjustment disorder on my side but I was struggling. Physically, I caught up, I showed up and I was there but mentally, I felt left behind and lost and on most days, I was low.

Perhaps, it was out of tiredness as I have just recently off-tagged and in combination with my low mood, I felt demotivated and in general, felt that I have lost my love for medicine. I decided then that clinical life in the hospital was not for me. True, we were lacking doctors in various departments and hospitals in general across Malaysia. However, during that time, even if there enough manpower, I don’t think I would still want to continue.

I tried looking on the bright side, tiny things as well as the positive aspects of things to help me to get through the day.

Firstly, I’m thankful to be in a subspeciality department instead of the bigger and more hectic departments, I think I would have broken down within the first week itself. Secondly, I was in the department with the sweetest and kindest bosses who were more than happy to teach or lend a helping hand when needed. We are small in number, yes. But it felt like being part of a family.

I was happy, the environment was good, kind and non-toxic. However, mentally, I knew that this is not my place.

This further saddens me as I have always looked forward to being part of this lovely department. Yet, I knew, it’s just a matter of time before I slip and broke down. My body knew that I wouldn’t last long here nor do I foresee myself handling the complex and complicated cases here. If my interest is not here, how would I even make it through to specialise?

Amidst the business and my mind and body trying to keep up with the steep learning curve place before me, I was unable to view my options or to consider other departments.

I was just done in general and sadly, I wouldn’t be able to fulfil my quote in my medical school yearbook, I feel myself losing my will every single day nor do I find the strength within myself to serve.

Sadly,“sometimes what we like is not necessarily what is suited for us”, a fellow colleague told me and that hit me hard. I had no interest in other departments either or practicing in general at that point. All I could think of at that point was to quit and to hand in my resignation letter. After all, I have successfully completed my 2 years of internship / housemanship training. I can still locum if I wanted to. But of course, I didn’t enjoy it either. All I was ever passionate of was to teach. Thus, I considered changing my field and entering university as a lecturer did not sound appealing either as I did not like research at all.

Thus, after much contemplation, I approached my Head of Department (HOD) to validate my 30-day-resignation letter. My HOD is another kind soul who enquired to know what prompted me to come to such a decision. She signed my papers but advised me to consider changing departments instead of quitting.

However, at that time and at that current state of mind, I was fixed on my decision. Hence, the following week on a Monday, I submitted my 30-Days-Notice of Resignation, only to have it retracted the following day. Although I have handed in my 30-Days-Notice, a part of me felt a tinge of regret and sadness. Somehow, some part of me did not want to leave but I could not see any way out of this virtual box that I appear to be caged in.

My colleague and my parents played an important role in my decision to retract my resignation. Instead, despite my limited amount of leaves left for the rest of the year, I chose to take some time of work. Perhaps it was due to tiredness that contributed to my rash and impulsive decision.

On the 1st of October 2025, I took the first flight out and then throughout my leaves, I locummed at several General Practitioners. Remember when I said that I did not like locum either? This time, I decided to give it a second try and to keep an open mind.

The first GP I locummed at was a rather chill one with only 3 cases being seen throughout the whole day. The subsequent GPs were hectic and had multiple procedures, literally from the beginning of my shift till the end. In all of those times, I was the only doctor in the clinic. In my previous experiences, I have locummed at clinics which had 2-3 resident doctors.

Honestly, I don’t know how I managed to pull it off. Despite the hecticness and the patient load, I found myself looking forward to return and I enjoyed talking, listening and consulting the patients. It was fun. Slowly, I found myself enjoying and falling back in love with medicine and practicing medicine and thinking on how I could improve myself to serve better.

Then, I realised, perhaps venturing into family medicine might not be such a bad thing. True, there is abundant of family medicine doctors now and lack of doctors practicing in the hospital but that doesn’t mean that they are still not needed. Sadly, as much as I want to force myself to carry on and stay practicing in the hospital, I knew that it is not meant for me in the long haul or for me to last for even a year.

The opportunity to specialise is there but how can I continue if I can’t even see myself as one, or even have the inspiration?

Suddenly, the plan and my pathway seems clearer and I’m more than ecstatic to embark on my next journey. It was definitely the rest that I needed. To think and to reflect. If I were to stick to this journey, how can I do so for the long haul and at the same time, enjoy it?

I hope that in months or years to come, the decision to stay is the right choice. Perhaps, I still need time to discover my interest in this vast field. At times, I wish that it can be simple and that I would know what or which department I’m fitted to or destined to specialise in.

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The Theoretical Doctor @[email protected] · 2026-01-10 · 01:00 UTC

My FIRST SOLO Oncall Shift As A Floating Medical Officer

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My first solo oncall shift was on the 17th of August 2025 a few days after I have completed my tagging period.

I had a passive oncall on standby just in case things got out of hand, which is a good thing. However, I was adamant to try to survive on my own as if I only had myself and the specialist. Thankfully as well, it was on a weekday which meant I was able to reach out and ask for help if needed and the others would be able to assist if needed or advice me.

As usual, morning rounds, followed by peri rounds. The role as an oncall medical officer of the day is to update the progress of the patients in the specialist’s WhatsApp group as well as to upload any latest wound pictures, if any.

The day was rather busy with rounds and in between I would receive calls from Klinik Kesihatan (Community Clinics), usually requesting a clinic date. Thankfully, no referrals yet.

After rounds, I headed back to the ward to complete any pending joblists before heading into the operating theatre (OT) for a patient that was awaiting her call to OT.

During that operation, there was a referral from the Emergency and Trauma (ETD) Department, referring a case of laceration wound over the forehead for a 3 year old boy.

The medical officer at the ETD was kind enough to assist in taking the bloods as well as admitting the patient. My colleague on the other hand came to check in on me after her day in the clinic and attended to this kid.

After the first operation, the following case was called which was the 3-year-old kid. I have always enjoyed being in the operating theatre, or any hands on procedures.

Despite knowing that I should be conserving energy, instead, I proceeded to carry on and after the second op, I entered an ongoing flap operation next door to assist.

Another referral came for a laceration wound over the forehead for an Orthopaedic patient who was post-operative and transferred to ICU. Apparently, it was missed when the patient arrived at the Emergency Department as he suffered multiple opened fracture and was posted for operation immediately. Thankfully, he was intubated and sedated and I was able to perform a bedside toilet and suturing for him.

By the time I was done, it was midnight. I went back to the oncall room to shower and change for the night. I would usually change into scrubs again if I were to be oncall, just to be on standby in case I was needed immediately.

I did not sleep that night, it just felt wrong as the flap operation was still ongoing since 8am.

I went in again to check in on them, however, I was not needed at that time. Thus, I kept a fellow colleague company.

At 2am, I returned back to ward to complete the planned discharge of a patient and started my morning review. Thankfully, I did. In between, I was referred a new case of another kid who suffered another laceration wound at his right eyebrow. Thus, counselled the parents, obtained consent and admitted the patient.

After that, I was requested to collect bloods or bags packed cell for the patient who was still ongoing operation. When the commotion was done, I returned to continue my early morning reviews.

By 4am, I went back inside the operating theatre to check in on the ongoing operation. Technically, still far from done. Scrubbed in to assist with harvesting the skin for split thickness skin graft and refashioning of the affected limb.

At 8am, we were finally done. The operation officially lasted for 24 hours. All of us scrubbed out and I changed out of my attire to return to ward and follow rounds.

During peri rounds, a patient was called to OT and I entered organ as I dislike peri rounds. After the OT, all of us were just beyond tired and I went home for the day.

No doubt, it was my first “solo oncall”, it did not feel lonely at all as since there was an ongoing operation, physically, I felt comforted knowing that there were people nearby and felt more like a slumber party instead.

And the most important part… I survived it!

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The Theoretical Doctor @[email protected] · 2026-01-08 · 01:00 UTC

My First Tagging On-Call Shift As A Floating Medical Officer

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My first tagging oncall shift was on a Sunday with a fellow medical officer I knew when I was a House Officer in General Surgery. Back then, he was having his attachment in General Surgery.

Just like a House Officer, we had to undergo a period of “tagging“.

In the Department of Plastics and Reconstructive Surgery at Sarawak General Hospital, I had to undergo a tagging period of one month, every other day (EOD). This is because, I am a newborn medical officer with no previous experience in General Surgery (as a Medical Officer).

This is an advantage as I would be able to learn as much as I could within a span of 1 month. However, it was also a disadvantage as I’m afraid, I would be burnt out mentally and physically considering the on-calls were on every other day (EOD).

“I can do it. If others could, I could too.” , I repeated this mantra to myself but the learning curve is going to be an extremely steep one.

During my first tagging oncall, thankfully, it was with a fellow senior colleague who I was rather comfortable with.

We started with our morning ward rounds followed by passover and peri-rounds. After we were done, we went back to the ward to settle our pending job-lists followed by lunch.

As a tagging on-call medical officer, the first call would be to me for referrals. After which, I would discuss with my senior and proceed to see the referred patient together. After reviewing our newly electively admitted patients, pre-op rounds with surgeon and demarcating the op site and pre-op meeting, we went back home in the evening and returned at night together for our night reviews which we updated in the Department’s WhatsApp Group on the progress of certain patients. Incidentally, a patient whom we were awaiting for op was called into the operating theatre and the operation ended at 2am. Finally, we returned home for the night.

I was nervous of course as I usually get anxious easily. However, I took my shower and headed to bed.

My phone was kept beside me in case I were to receive calls or referrals. At 6am, I returned to the ward and started our morning reviews as well as prepared for our morning rounds.

Since, it was a Monday, it was morning ward rounds, handover and peri rounds as usual. However, since I was still tagging, I was expected to stay till 5pm or to join the ongoing surgeries.

Thus, my first postcall was spent in the operating theatre assisting till 6pm. However, despite the ongoing operation, I excused myself to return home and rest.

The following day will be another one, thankfully, not oncall but within office hours.

Thankfully, it was a good call with a fellow senior that I was comfortable with in terms of approaching in regards to my doubts which was undoubtedly, many.

I can only hope that I would be able to survive this whole month of tagging.

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The Theoretical Doctor @[email protected] · 2026-01-07 · 01:00 UTC

My First Day As A Medical Officer In KKM

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Housemanship or Internship for Doctors in Malaysia lasts for a duration of 2 years, upon completion of our medical school journey.

For some, they began shortly upon graduation whilst for others, they took a gap year.

I submitted my application to pursue my internship in the Ministry of Health, Malaysia (Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia, KKM) shortly after my graduation but did not actually begin till 6 months later in 2023. Two years later, thankfully, I’ve completed and fully registered with the Malaysian Medical Council (MMC) and possess a valid Annual Practicing Certificate (APC).

Post housemanship, I went on a 3-weeks-break and on the 21st of August 2025, I reported for duty as a Medical Officer.

Upon my completion of housemanship, one would have to go through a “floating period” of maximum 6 months prior to receiving their placement in whichever department, hospital or state of choice. Usually, the floating period occurs in the same hospital that one had completed their housemanship or internship in.

Thankfully, I was offered to float in the Department of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery. However, I was diving into the world of Surgery with no experience or knowledge in basic suturing.

During my first day, I reported for duty at the Hospital Director’s Office to receive my “floating” placement letter, checked my remaining leaves and proceeded to Burn Ward of Sarawak General Hospital.

The Burn Ward.

I’ve had good memories previously as a House Officer here and I was beyond ecstatic as well as relieved to be accepted into this department which is filled with understanding and helpful bosses.

I was then given orientation by one of the medical officers, clerked a burn patient that was just admitted and spent most of my time accompanying a fellow friend who thankfully is in the same department. Considering it was my first day and a rather slow one, I was able to return home at 5pm.

There’s just so much more that I have yet to learn. Hopefully, I’ll have both the mental and physical strength to push through.

Thankfully, the environment is one that is filled with love and encouragement.

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The Theoretical Doctor @[email protected] · 2026-01-05 · 01:00 UTC

2026 – The Beginning

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First of all, Happy New Year! I hope you have had a great start to this year and if you have any New Year’s Resolutions planned, I hope that you will be able to stick throughout the year.

I did not have any New Year’s Resolutions planned as I usually did the previous years. Mainly because I have just moved to a new place, settling in with things still pending in Kuching, trying to adapt to my working environment as well as picking up on new skills.

Thus, New Year’s Resolution? It’ll come as the year progresses.

My New Year’s Eve was spent at work and mainly in the ambulance with a dear friend as well as work colleague, however, that is a separate post for another time.

As usual, since I’ve started working as a doctor in 2023, I’ve always made it a point to work on New Year’s Day, a habit which I’ve adapted from my dad ever since he has started working at the age of 18.

However, New Year’s Day is a public holiday here in Sarawak. Thus, I was allocated as the oncall medical officer on the 1st of January as well as on the 2nd of January. Per oncall shift is from 8am on that day till 8am the following day (which means, mine ended at 8am on the 3rd of January).

My first case began with a case of wound breakdown over the right wrist, which the patient chose not to seek hospital treatment followed by another case of upper gastrointestinal bleed which was sent to hospital. This was then followed by another case of possible acute appendicitis which the patient and family decided to “discharge against medical advice” because they wanted to seek treatment in their hometown considering they were travelling and happened to be in the same area.

Upon returning home, I was called back for a case of breakthrough seizure likely secondary to under-dosage of medications. The patient had three episodes of seizure that day followed by a regular 1-2 monthly episodes. Hence, referred and sent to hospital.

Finally, I can return home. Time to get some rest since I would be working the next day. Shortly after, I was called back, a patient sustained laceration wound over the medial aspect of his antecubital fossa. Mechanism of injury? Unknown and he was in an extremely drunken state.

Otherwise, he was stable. Sadly, my medical assistant at that time could not be contacted to escort the patient to hospital and the family members did not have their own transportation.

If only, he was fully awake, I would have triaged him to green zone. However, transportation issues… Thankfully, the patient’s family has an uncle who was willing to send. The only thing was he needed some time to arrive due to the heavy rain and slippery roads.

I didn’t feel good leaving the patient behind although he was stable. Thus, I stayed till 4am until his uncle came and the patient himself had woken up.

After that, I went back home and straight away gotten ready for work since it’s a working day and I am still oncall.

The following day on the 2nd of January, went by smoothly during office hours with referrals here and there but it was manageable.

In the afternoon, another patient came in for symptomatic anaemia secondary to abnormal uterine bleeding with newly diagnosed cervical carcinoma. Her haemoglobin level was 5, who again, refused hospital referral claiming she visited the clinic for fever and not for her anaemic symptoms. After much convincing and discussion with my specialist, the patient still opted to “discharge against medical advice”.

Which makes me wonder… Why in the world?…

This was followed by dinner with my friend. I remembered thinking to myself that evening that maybe… just maybe… I would have a cold night. Enough of referrals.

However, at 11:30pm on the 2nd of January 2026, I received a call from my medical assistant that a patient presented to the clinic breathless with an SpO2 of 50% under room air, started on high flow mask and at best, it is only 90%.

Sounds like an impending intubation and CPR case.

I called up my friend immediately as I rushed to the car as she lives closer to the clinic. I needed all the help I could get for this patient. The roads were slippery and it was a rainy night. Yet, I sped. Thankfully, my friend had already arrived before me.

The patient?

I remembered seeing this patient on the 23rd of December 2025. At that time, his lungs already had crepitations with reduced air entry over the right side and yet he chose to “discharge against medical advice”. I remembered telling him that he would collapse if he didn’t go and true enough, here he was… sitting up, gasping for air.

His vitals? Blood pressure was sky high, lungs filled with crepitations but no pedal oedema, lines were set, no ECG done but we didn’t have time to waste…

I called up the Emergency Physician in the nearest hospital (which is an hour away), presented shortly and informed that we had to proceed with intubation because he was too tachypnoeic.

We prepared for intubation, informed the family members as well as explained the risk of CPR and death. The family understood and agreed.

Intubation… This was a difficult intubation for the guy was a very large guy with hardly any neck visible.

But before we could start, his GCS dropped and so did his heart rate, I started CPR while my friend attempted to crash intubate. We attempted to crash intubate and both times, it failed… I called up the Emergency Physician again and told her that we were 30 minutes into the CPR, she told me to call off after the current cycle.

My first death at a new workplace and on the third day of the year at 0027H, 3rd of January 2026.

Then, I proceeded to complete my notes for the family members to bring to the police station to lodge a police report and broke the news to the family. I was calm and so were the patients’ family. After that, I called up the Emergency Physician to thank her and then, I broke down.

I broke down because had he gone on the 23rd itself, he wouldn’t have to gone through this.. He lives alone and his so-called family members aren’t even his biological family members but neighbours and friends… I broke down because I also felt defeated… We tried our best with such limited resources and manpower…

Yet, I couldn’t save him…

If you have YET to come up with a New Year’s Resolution… At least consider this, adhere to your regular check-ups if you have any… Stay compliant to your medications, diet restrictions or any fluid restrictions if you do have…

And if something is off or not right, please RUSH to the nearest clinic or better, the hospital… Because there is only so much that we can do with such limited resources in a community clinic.

Otherwise, I wish that you have a Blessed 2026 filled with love, beautiful memories and wonderful opportunities.

Remember to have fun and do enjoy it but please do so, responsibly.

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