I wish people could actually watch listen and read this, and with actual comprehension and compassion realize the desperate need to have people actively provide meaningful lasting support;
The Physical Reality of My Existence
Existence is stealing my vision, as constant pain and exhausting reign in this disabled, poverty-stricken corpse. My sight, along with the rest of me, is suffering. Some days things are clear and vibrant for a little while, but more often than not, it's all a dark fuzzy blur that often feels like a shrinking tunnel. The brighter the light the harder it is, and darker light makes fine observations impossible to see. When you couple that with my joints that are actively revolting against me, it makes the mundane an extraordinary feat.
If I sit too long my ankles, knees, and hips lock up; if I stand too long my leg muscles all burn and become stiff. Vertigo keeps me dizzy, and sometimes between bad knees and that, I have issues walking, stooping, or bending down. My hands randomly drop things along with aching all day long, and my blood pressure is on a continuous rollercoaster. Due to poverty, I have a very poor and often absent nutritional uptake, so my body simply ages ten times faster than the average person. I tell people I am 48 but more like an 80-year-old man, and they simply cannot wrap their heads around it. It takes me an hour or two in the morning before my legs work, and often three to four before my eyes focus and my brain is fully functioning.
The Cycle of Sleeplessness and Decline
If I lay down in my torture device of a bed—a mattress that is 20 years old and completely useless for support, with no room for a couch or recliner to alternate to—everything goes haywire. My wrists and hands go numb as my shoulders and back ache, and trying to upright myself seems to take days. The more I do, the less I sleep. When I am past tired, I won't actually sleep at all; I will simply get aggravated by the circumstances.
Every movement, every breath, seems to become a battle that simply lasts too long. My overall mental executive cognitive functions are declining at a noticeable rate, and my thoughts are fading and fraying more each day. It is very much tiring to be me.
The Isolation and Misunderstanding
I really don't feel well, I am exhausted, I am in pain, and my anxiety is bothering me. I am plum wore out from it all, and sadly, people simply do not understand, nor do they even attempt to feign empathy or compassion if they cannot express it naturally. It gets really old explaining over and over that I am disabled and I am aging, which means my disabilities just get worse.
They see me helping and doing what I can when I can, and assume it is all easy for me and no big deal, yet have no clue of the physical pain and constant exhaustion. It is infuriating when people think you can just do A, B, C, etc., despite you making it clear you cannot. I have no family to call on and no friends to rely on.
The Crushing Weight of Poverty
I exist in poverty because I am disabled, and every facet of my life hangs on a precarious precipice. My tiny cave is a mess; I really need to organize and clean, but between physical energy not being there and financially not able to obtain what I need to do so, everything is chaos.
My bowels constantly complain there is no food in here. I fight with what I can eat today versus can I afford to take a shower and will I have clean clothes to put on. From the constant need for food I can never afford, to underwear, socks, shoes, pants, shirts, and personal hygiene, there is so much I truly need and no real way to obtain any of it. My near non-existent disability income cannot cover even a quarter of life today, and I have no safety at all. For if I was an actual corpse this decay would seem okay, but as I am somehow still alive, simply existing is becoming more than I can bear.
My Plea for Dignity and Support
This disabled man existing in poverty is really, truthfully struggling. I am exhausted mentally, spiritually, and physically. It is imperative that I raise the money I need to buy property to build my own forever home, so that I have security and stability. I need a massive infusion of cash to get myself caught up, and then I need a monthly support amount to stay somewhat stable.
I have never expected one person to bear the brunt of my burdens; rather, I hope that all will help how they can, with the compassion, empathy, and understanding that if it was them in need, would they not pray for the same? If only humanity was not a failure, maybe I could actually raise the money I need to live beyond barely existing. And if I am lucky, I will be able to help others through the rest of my life by having my own place to offer them the help they may need.
I have had a very hard life. How much longer must I be forced to fight and endure an existence void of compassion, empathy, support, respect, dignity, and safety? I am begging for help to live, I am begging for compassion and dignity. Please, I am not in a good place. Please help me climb out of this hell of desperation today.
This Disabled Man Existing In Poverty, Is $8,505 Away From Being Able To Afford To Take Care Of Myself And The Things I Still Need To Take Care Of Right Now. Your support today could mean the difference between nourishment and starvation and some kind of stability.
This is not a request for luxury. This is a cry for dignity.
Urgent need: $27,305, Monthly survival: $1,500, Long-term liberation: $25,000 to climb out. $5 million to build a forever home and sanctuary for others like me.
If you’ve ever wondered what despair looks like, this is it. If you’ve ever wanted to make a real difference, this is your chance $5-10-15 It All Helps,
🔗 Donate here: paypal.com/donate?campaign_id=… 💸 CashApp: $woctxphotog
#MutualAid, #Disabled, #Poverty, #Help, #Survival, #Compassion, #Pain, #MentalHealth, #Food, #Groceries, #Hygiene, #Anxiety, #PTSD, #Bipolar, #Dignity, #Disablity, #Life, #Housing, #Support, #Aging, #Love, #Empathy, #Health, #Rent, #Cronicillness, #dentalhealth, #healthcare, #dental, #Emergency, #oralhealth,