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  1. My Reflection Of 2025

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    2025, was indeed a year.

    The year started out great, I worked on New Year’s Day as usual in the Department of Medical and in April, I entered into my final posting, the Emergency and Trauma Department. In May, I attended my best friend’s wedding.

    In July, I completed my internship and received my full registration under the Malaysian Medical Council (MMC) as well as my Annual Practicing Certificate (APC) and started locumming during my holidays back home and I also started floating as a Medical Officer in the Department of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery. It was a steep learning curve for me, transitioning from a House Officer into a Medical Officer. The anxiety increased and I was constantly tired. I remembered my love for medicine and service fading to the point I took a long break in October to recharge and reflect.

    2025 was also the year, I handed in my 30-days-notice to resign but revoke it the following day. Perhaps it was too much for me, although the working environment and superiors were more than sweet and kind. Physically, I was catching up but mentally, I was fading away.

    Looking back, thankfully, I did not. I celebrated my birthday before travelling back to Kuching the following day. 2025 was also the year when my relationship ended. It was a good and lovely 19 months. Perhaps, it was just time.

    November was the month I received my letter stating that I will receive my placement and I needed to report for duty on the 24th of November 2025. One thing for sure, I was sure to continue serving in Sarawak. The place? Unknown yet.

    On the 18th of November, I found out that I would need to report to the Health Division of Bintulu on the 24th of November 2025.

    Bintulu, that’s around 7 hours drive from Kuching. I didn’t have a place to stay nor a car and my things were all unpacked and I was just extremely busy. I packed whatever I could, shipped some boxes back home, those that I managed to do and on the 23rd of November, I flew to Bintulu.

    Thankfully, the doctor-in-charge of the Health Division was kind enough to let me know which place or clinic that I would be placed at.

    Yes, clinic setting. I did not apply for a clinic setting which so happened to be what many others in my batch longed for. Surprisingly, I got it!

    Considering the state of my mental health, I was more than ecstatic to accept it.

    2025 was also the year I moved and started working in a new place and also one that speaks a different dialect. I started doing oncalls as well and surprisingly, adapted very quickly into a General Practitioner’s setting as well as the new place. I also met another colleague who was previously my medical officer in the Department of Obstetrics & Gynaecology when I was a House Officer and made new friends and acquaintances.

    Overall, 2025 was a mixed of both good and bad experiences. I felt both the highs and also went through a period of low mood. New people entered my life, some stayed and some also left. Nevertheless, I am thankful for all the experiences I went through as well as the lessons learnt.

    Hopefully, I can learn from the errors that I have made and grow, making me into a better person.

    Thank you 2025. Now, it’s time to move on, to 2026.

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  2. Lazy Days As A Medical Officer

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    Do lazy days make you feel rested or unproductive?

    While I’m at work, I’d be looking forward to returning home or towards my off day. In contrary, while I’m at home or on my off day, I’d be thinking about returning to work.

    Do you feel the same way?

    Previously, as a House Officer, I’m used to the “one off day per week”. Whereas, as a Medical Officer, weekends and public holidays are granted off days, except if you’re well… oncall and that depends on your current department as well as some departments require you to put in a half day shift during weekends or public holidays.

    I’d say for me, considering I live alone and I don’t even own a car here in Sarawak, I’m pretty much lazy and unproductive to the point I get restless sometimes.

    That’s counter productive as rest days are meant to make you feel… rested, right?

    Thus, on my off days, since I’m an early riser, I try not to disturb my circadian rhythm by getting up at the same time as usual every morning, partly because I forgot to off the alarm or somehow, my body clock just wakes me up every time.

    To feel so-called “productive”, I’d do some studying with my morning coffee till I well, lose my focus, then I start wondering about lunch and start cooking, handwash my clothes because I’m too lazy to walk downstairs with a bag of clothes and finally doze off for my afternoon nap.

    I’d then wake up in the evening to have dinner and pack my essentials and bag for work the following day before finally, retiring to bed early.

    I really need to be more productive during my off days.

    Even me writing this just sounds too depressing.

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  3. My FIRST SOLO Oncall Shift As A Floating Medical Officer

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    My first solo oncall shift was on the 17th of August 2025 a few days after I have completed my tagging period.

    I had a passive oncall on standby just in case things got out of hand, which is a good thing. However, I was adamant to try to survive on my own as if I only had myself and the specialist. Thankfully as well, it was on a weekday which meant I was able to reach out and ask for help if needed and the others would be able to assist if needed or advice me.

    As usual, morning rounds, followed by peri rounds. The role as an oncall medical officer of the day is to update the progress of the patients in the specialist’s WhatsApp group as well as to upload any latest wound pictures, if any.

    The day was rather busy with rounds and in between I would receive calls from Klinik Kesihatan (Community Clinics), usually requesting a clinic date. Thankfully, no referrals yet.

    After rounds, I headed back to the ward to complete any pending joblists before heading into the operating theatre (OT) for a patient that was awaiting her call to OT.

    During that operation, there was a referral from the Emergency and Trauma (ETD) Department, referring a case of laceration wound over the forehead for a 3 year old boy.

    The medical officer at the ETD was kind enough to assist in taking the bloods as well as admitting the patient. My colleague on the other hand came to check in on me after her day in the clinic and attended to this kid.

    After the first operation, the following case was called which was the 3-year-old kid. I have always enjoyed being in the operating theatre, or any hands on procedures.

    Despite knowing that I should be conserving energy, instead, I proceeded to carry on and after the second op, I entered an ongoing flap operation next door to assist.

    Another referral came for a laceration wound over the forehead for an Orthopaedic patient who was post-operative and transferred to ICU. Apparently, it was missed when the patient arrived at the Emergency Department as he suffered multiple opened fracture and was posted for operation immediately. Thankfully, he was intubated and sedated and I was able to perform a bedside toilet and suturing for him.

    By the time I was done, it was midnight. I went back to the oncall room to shower and change for the night. I would usually change into scrubs again if I were to be oncall, just to be on standby in case I was needed immediately.

    I did not sleep that night, it just felt wrong as the flap operation was still ongoing since 8am.

    I went in again to check in on them, however, I was not needed at that time. Thus, I kept a fellow colleague company.

    At 2am, I returned back to ward to complete the planned discharge of a patient and started my morning review. Thankfully, I did. In between, I was referred a new case of another kid who suffered another laceration wound at his right eyebrow. Thus, counselled the parents, obtained consent and admitted the patient.

    After that, I was requested to collect bloods or bags packed cell for the patient who was still ongoing operation. When the commotion was done, I returned to continue my early morning reviews.

    By 4am, I went back inside the operating theatre to check in on the ongoing operation. Technically, still far from done. Scrubbed in to assist with harvesting the skin for split thickness skin graft and refashioning of the affected limb.

    At 8am, we were finally done. The operation officially lasted for 24 hours. All of us scrubbed out and I changed out of my attire to return to ward and follow rounds.

    During peri rounds, a patient was called to OT and I entered organ as I dislike peri rounds. After the OT, all of us were just beyond tired and I went home for the day.

    No doubt, it was my first “solo oncall”, it did not feel lonely at all as since there was an ongoing operation, physically, I felt comforted knowing that there were people nearby and felt more like a slumber party instead.

    And the most important part… I survived it!

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  4. Daily writing prompt Describe one simple thing you do that brings joy to your life. View all responses

    One simple thing. Not some complicated thing like writing a song or fixing a customer’s programming issue or cooking dinner for my wife and our kids. No, something simple. Something small scale.

    I’ve got one. A good one.

    Somewhere along the line my wife and I got into a routine that had her falling asleep before me. We’d go to bed at the same time (put your dirty minds away, we’re not talking about any funny business here) but due to my weight problems and my massive sleep apnea problem I had a tendency to snore at an absurd volume. If I fell asleep first, Jen would be awake all night. The solution was to have me sit up in bed to let her fall asleep first. I don’t have the weight problem anymore (thanks, gastric bypass surgery) and I don’t seem to have the sleep apnea problem anymore (thanks again, gastric bypass) and while I do snore some, I don’t roar like I used to or do it as often. I still sit up in bed and let her go to sleep first. This is not the simple thing that brings joy to my life though.

    There was one additional thing in our nightly bed time routine. While Jen was laying down trying to sleep and I was sitting up reading or surfing the net or watching a TV show on my iPad or laptop, I would rub her back. Thats the thing. That’s the simple thing that brings joy to my life. I just rub my bride’s back every night while she drifts off to sleep. It’s not that big a deal, but we’re both pleased it happens. Sometimes I’ll be doing something on my computer and won’t have a free hand and I get annoyed at myself for being distracted. She asks me to do it every night, sometimes while I’m already doing it. It’s just a thing we do at night and it’s just nice. It makes me happy. Sometimes I keep rubbing her back for a long time after she’s fallen asleep. Sometimes I’ll stop when she’s asleep and then after a while just start again for no reason. It’s just something we do.

    https://robertjames1971.blog/2024/06/01/one-thing/

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