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The Theoretical Doctor @[email protected] · 2026-01-12 · 01:00 UTC

Reflection: 2 Months As A Floating Medical Officer

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At the time of writing this article, I’m on leave which I took from the 1st of October till 15th of October, which my Head of Department (HOD) was more than kind enough to allow.

I needed the break, perhaps it was an adjustment disorder on my side but I was struggling. Physically, I caught up, I showed up and I was there but mentally, I felt left behind and lost and on most days, I was low.

Perhaps, it was out of tiredness as I have just recently off-tagged and in combination with my low mood, I felt demotivated and in general, felt that I have lost my love for medicine. I decided then that clinical life in the hospital was not for me. True, we were lacking doctors in various departments and hospitals in general across Malaysia. However, during that time, even if there enough manpower, I don’t think I would still want to continue.

I tried looking on the bright side, tiny things as well as the positive aspects of things to help me to get through the day.

Firstly, I’m thankful to be in a subspeciality department instead of the bigger and more hectic departments, I think I would have broken down within the first week itself. Secondly, I was in the department with the sweetest and kindest bosses who were more than happy to teach or lend a helping hand when needed. We are small in number, yes. But it felt like being part of a family.

I was happy, the environment was good, kind and non-toxic. However, mentally, I knew that this is not my place.

This further saddens me as I have always looked forward to being part of this lovely department. Yet, I knew, it’s just a matter of time before I slip and broke down. My body knew that I wouldn’t last long here nor do I foresee myself handling the complex and complicated cases here. If my interest is not here, how would I even make it through to specialise?

Amidst the business and my mind and body trying to keep up with the steep learning curve place before me, I was unable to view my options or to consider other departments.

I was just done in general and sadly, I wouldn’t be able to fulfil my quote in my medical school yearbook, I feel myself losing my will every single day nor do I find the strength within myself to serve.

Sadly,“sometimes what we like is not necessarily what is suited for us”, a fellow colleague told me and that hit me hard. I had no interest in other departments either or practicing in general at that point. All I could think of at that point was to quit and to hand in my resignation letter. After all, I have successfully completed my 2 years of internship / housemanship training. I can still locum if I wanted to. But of course, I didn’t enjoy it either. All I was ever passionate of was to teach. Thus, I considered changing my field and entering university as a lecturer did not sound appealing either as I did not like research at all.

Thus, after much contemplation, I approached my Head of Department (HOD) to validate my 30-day-resignation letter. My HOD is another kind soul who enquired to know what prompted me to come to such a decision. She signed my papers but advised me to consider changing departments instead of quitting.

However, at that time and at that current state of mind, I was fixed on my decision. Hence, the following week on a Monday, I submitted my 30-Days-Notice of Resignation, only to have it retracted the following day. Although I have handed in my 30-Days-Notice, a part of me felt a tinge of regret and sadness. Somehow, some part of me did not want to leave but I could not see any way out of this virtual box that I appear to be caged in.

My colleague and my parents played an important role in my decision to retract my resignation. Instead, despite my limited amount of leaves left for the rest of the year, I chose to take some time of work. Perhaps it was due to tiredness that contributed to my rash and impulsive decision.

On the 1st of October 2025, I took the first flight out and then throughout my leaves, I locummed at several General Practitioners. Remember when I said that I did not like locum either? This time, I decided to give it a second try and to keep an open mind.

The first GP I locummed at was a rather chill one with only 3 cases being seen throughout the whole day. The subsequent GPs were hectic and had multiple procedures, literally from the beginning of my shift till the end. In all of those times, I was the only doctor in the clinic. In my previous experiences, I have locummed at clinics which had 2-3 resident doctors.

Honestly, I don’t know how I managed to pull it off. Despite the hecticness and the patient load, I found myself looking forward to return and I enjoyed talking, listening and consulting the patients. It was fun. Slowly, I found myself enjoying and falling back in love with medicine and practicing medicine and thinking on how I could improve myself to serve better.

Then, I realised, perhaps venturing into family medicine might not be such a bad thing. True, there is abundant of family medicine doctors now and lack of doctors practicing in the hospital but that doesn’t mean that they are still not needed. Sadly, as much as I want to force myself to carry on and stay practicing in the hospital, I knew that it is not meant for me in the long haul or for me to last for even a year.

The opportunity to specialise is there but how can I continue if I can’t even see myself as one, or even have the inspiration?

Suddenly, the plan and my pathway seems clearer and I’m more than ecstatic to embark on my next journey. It was definitely the rest that I needed. To think and to reflect. If I were to stick to this journey, how can I do so for the long haul and at the same time, enjoy it?

I hope that in months or years to come, the decision to stay is the right choice. Perhaps, I still need time to discover my interest in this vast field. At times, I wish that it can be simple and that I would know what or which department I’m fitted to or destined to specialise in.

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The Theoretical Doctor @[email protected] · 2026-01-09 · 01:00 UTC

I SURVIVED My First Month Of Tagging As A Floating Medical Officer

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Thank God. Seriously.

I started my journey on the 21st of August 2025 and officially off-tag on the 14th of September 2025 after my last tagging oncall shift.

Technically, it was not a month but 3 weeks. Nevertheless, a very tiring 3 weeks with every other day oncalls and one sick leave in between.

The tagging oncalls were every other day (EOD), this meant an oncall shift followed by postcall and the following day is an office hour shift only to be followed by oncall again.

Overall, it was a mixture of fun and tiredness. My sleeping schedule was definitely off as I am usually disturbed in the middle of the night as the time I am usually able to sleep peacefully is during my postcall shifts.

Thankfully, I always had a senior with me to guide me. Thus, every referral I received, I would discuss on the management plan with them. It was mentally challenging as well as the learning curve is extremely steep for a junior medical officer such as myself.

Having completed my tagging period, I am still at lost in terms of management especially for extremely complicated cases. Thus, I find myself running to any of my seniors or the specialists.

Am I confident now though?

Not really. Less terrified and yes somewhat a tad bit confident than when I initially begun. However, just a tad.

The fear is still there as I just do not know what to expect on the types of referrals I will receive during my call.

Some things just don’t change. The fear that I felt during my House Officer days are still there and at times, I wish that I could just simply disappear run away from the issue but doing so, does not help.

Thus, the only solution for me is to dive head on into the issue and call for help whenever needed.

If any of you are experiencing this, just know that you are not alone and sometimes the feelings felt internally just can’t be expressed properly either via words or verbally.

If you are showing up everyday despite feeling this way, you are doing a good job. Take comfort in that as it is not an easy thing to just do. Sometimes, showing up daily in itself is a hard task.

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The Theoretical Doctor @[email protected] · 2026-01-07 · 01:00 UTC

My First Day As A Medical Officer In KKM

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Housemanship or Internship for Doctors in Malaysia lasts for a duration of 2 years, upon completion of our medical school journey.

For some, they began shortly upon graduation whilst for others, they took a gap year.

I submitted my application to pursue my internship in the Ministry of Health, Malaysia (Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia, KKM) shortly after my graduation but did not actually begin till 6 months later in 2023. Two years later, thankfully, I’ve completed and fully registered with the Malaysian Medical Council (MMC) and possess a valid Annual Practicing Certificate (APC).

Post housemanship, I went on a 3-weeks-break and on the 21st of August 2025, I reported for duty as a Medical Officer.

Upon my completion of housemanship, one would have to go through a “floating period” of maximum 6 months prior to receiving their placement in whichever department, hospital or state of choice. Usually, the floating period occurs in the same hospital that one had completed their housemanship or internship in.

Thankfully, I was offered to float in the Department of Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery. However, I was diving into the world of Surgery with no experience or knowledge in basic suturing.

During my first day, I reported for duty at the Hospital Director’s Office to receive my “floating” placement letter, checked my remaining leaves and proceeded to Burn Ward of Sarawak General Hospital.

The Burn Ward.

I’ve had good memories previously as a House Officer here and I was beyond ecstatic as well as relieved to be accepted into this department which is filled with understanding and helpful bosses.

I was then given orientation by one of the medical officers, clerked a burn patient that was just admitted and spent most of my time accompanying a fellow friend who thankfully is in the same department. Considering it was my first day and a rather slow one, I was able to return home at 5pm.

There’s just so much more that I have yet to learn. Hopefully, I’ll have both the mental and physical strength to push through.

Thankfully, the environment is one that is filled with love and encouragement.

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Brighid's Ogham Grove @[email protected] · 2025-02-18 · 16:43 UTC

The Gift of Literacy by Veronica Smith

Daily writing prompt Share one of the best gifts you’ve ever received. View all responses

I had learning difficulties as a child. Back in 1960s Ireland, class sizes were large. If you could not keep up with the quick-to-learn kids, then you were more or less abandoned by the teachers. Such was my case. Instead of trying to help me, the teachers labelled me as “slow” and kept me back with the younger children – which did not help my self-confidence!

Then, around the age of ten, I became seriously ill. Staying at home to recover, my parents discovered that I could barely read or write or do arithmetic. They felt horrified that the school, which had eagerly taken their money, had not bothered to teach me anything!

It was my parents and my older siblings, who gave me the priceless gift of literacy, not the educational system. They took the time to teach me, being patient with my learning difficulties and encouraging me to want to learn, without being ridiculed.

In later years, I returned to study as a mature student. I got my degree with Open University in my late forties. As you can see, I love to write and to do research.

I have several friends, who have chosen to home-educate their children, instead of sending them to conventional schools. These children – now young adults! – are the best adjusted young people I have ever met! They are smart and self-confident and prove, yet again, that it is their families who have given them the amazing gift of literacy.

Once you can read, you can teach yourself anything!

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Inside the Red Head's Head @[email protected] · 2024-02-18 · 13:13 UTC

Daily writing prompt Share one of the best gifts you’ve ever received. View all responses

Share one of the best gifts I’ve ever received? No. I’ll share two of them. Today’s daily writing prompt is a two-for-one special babie, yeah!

When I was a little kid one of my friends had a toy Tonka ambulance. It was awesome. It was the best ambulance on Earth. It was the best Tonka truck ever. Damn if I wasn’t one jealous miniature red head. I did what most American kids do when they want something awesome. I asked Santa Claus to bring it to me for Christmas. Santa failed me. I asked again the next year. Santa failed me again. Santa never came through at all.

Fast forward to December 2007. I’d been dating this amazing woman for about eight months. She was amazing. I was nuts about her. I think she may have liked me a little in return. I say that because she went to Ebay, found the legendary Tonka ambulance and bought it for me as a Christmas present. Holy shit, what an amazing gift! I could not, and literally still cannot believe it. I told you she was amazing. I should note that I am still absolutely crazy in love with her. We have been married since 2009. She’s the one.

The second part of this two-for-one extravaganza comes from 2021. It was my 50th birthday. Things were very tough for me that year. My father was in the hospital and my mother was dealing with an advancing case of dementia. My brother and sister and I were taking turns staying with my mother while my father was recovering. I woke up at my parent’s house on my birthday and didn’t get home until the afternoon. When I did, my wife and my step son threw me a little birthday party. I was so happy. I can’t even begin to tell you how happy they made me that day, and that was before I opened any birthday presents.

There was one gift that they were both practically giddy over. I opened it and saw this:

They bought me a guitar. Holy shit snacks, My wife got me a guitar for my birthday. What a legendary surprise! Before I even opened the case it was already tied for first for the best gift ever. Then I opened the case and found a brand new Gibson Les Paul Standard ’50s. Absolutely epic!

There you have it. Two absolutely Earth rocking gifts. By far the two best gifts I’ve ever received. No question. I told you my wife was amazing. I told you!

Hey Gemini, generate an image of a jedi knight sitting under a christmas tree opening an amazing christmas gift.

https://robertjames1971.blog/2024/02/18/best-gift-ever/

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