#socialising — Public Fediverse posts

Went out to a farewell dinner at the local Chinese restaurant. It’s been running for 65 years. 3 generations !!! It was fun to see my friends but now I am very tired 🥱 #socialising

RE: https://social.bau-ha.us/@bytebot/116171986837713749

Come along!
#Erfurt

#meetup
#socialising
#tec

Liebknechtstraße 8 (backyard)
#openSpace
bytespeicher.org
aka @bytespeicher

RE: https://social.bau-ha.us/@bytebot/116171986837713749

Come along!
#Erfurt

#meetup
#socialising
#tec

Liebknechtstraße 8 (backyard)
#openSpace
bytespeicher.org
aka @bytespeicher

RE: https://social.bau-ha.us/@bytebot/116171986837713749

Come along!
#Erfurt

#meetup
#socialising
#tec

Liebknechtstraße 8 (backyard)
#openSpace
bytespeicher.org
aka @bytespeicher

RE: https://social.bau-ha.us/@bytebot/116171986837713749

Come along!
#Erfurt

#meetup
#socialising
#tec

Liebknechtstraße 8 (backyard)
#openSpace
bytespeicher.org
aka @bytespeicher

RE: https://social.bau-ha.us/@bytebot/116171986837713749

Come along!
#Erfurt

#meetup
#socialising
#tec

Liebknechtstraße 8 (backyard)
#openSpace
bytespeicher.org
aka @bytespeicher

#GifsArtidote:
góóód morning vietnam! i am starting the morning with this #podcast episode around the question: can the #narcissist change? by #NarcCon

after which i am going to my #CommunityLivingroom to get some #socialising #networking & #CommunityCare in, & possibly offer my #MutualAid 😊. looking forward to today! 🖤

https://pca.st/episode/8d5731e7-3c36-4a82-90ea-1632965d7285

#press #MentalHealth #NPD #BPD #ClusterBpds #GenerationalTrauma #SelfCare

#GifsArtidote:
góóód morning vietnam! i am starting the morning with this #podcast episode around the question: can the #narcissist change? by #NarcCon

after which i am going to my #CommunityLivingroom to get some #socialising #networking & #CommunityCare in, & possibly offer my #MutualAid 😊. looking forward to today! 🖤

https://pca.st/episode/8d5731e7-3c36-4a82-90ea-1632965d7285

#press #MentalHealth #NPD #BPD #ClusterBpds #GenerationalTrauma #SelfCare

#GifsArtidote:
góóód morning vietnam! i am starting the morning with this #podcast episode around the question: can the #narcissist change? by #NarcCon

after which i am going to my #CommunityLivingroom to get some #socialising #networking & #CommunityCare in, & possibly offer my #MutualAid 😊. looking forward to today! 🖤

https://pca.st/episode/8d5731e7-3c36-4a82-90ea-1632965d7285

#press #MentalHealth #NPD #BPD #ClusterBpds #GenerationalTrauma #SelfCare

#GifsArtidote:
góóód morning vietnam! i am starting the morning with this #podcast episode around the question: can the #narcissist change? by #NarcCon

after which i am going to my #CommunityLivingroom to get some #socialising #networking & #CommunityCare in, & possibly offer my #MutualAid 😊. looking forward to today! 🖤

https://pca.st/episode/8d5731e7-3c36-4a82-90ea-1632965d7285

#press #MentalHealth #NPD #BPD #ClusterBpds #GenerationalTrauma #SelfCare

#GifsArtidote:
góóód morning vietnam! i am starting the morning with this #podcast episode around the question: can the #narcissist change? by #NarcCon

after which i am going to my #CommunityLivingroom to get some #socialising #networking & #CommunityCare in, & possibly offer my #MutualAid 😊. looking forward to today! 🖤

https://pca.st/episode/8d5731e7-3c36-4a82-90ea-1632965d7285

#press #MentalHealth #NPD #BPD #ClusterBpds #GenerationalTrauma #SelfCare

Weaned from YouTube and Instagram

De-Instagramification

it amuses me to read about how Instagram and YouTube are addictive today, when the opposite is true. Imagine, you live alone. You're in the middle of a pandemic. Your only social exchange is at a petrol station when buying a coke or similar. You exchange three sentences and then you go back to abject solitude.

Now, imagine that at the same time as you deal with abject solitude you see social media pivoting from being about your friends and family, to people living a better, more social, more fulfilled life than you. Imagine being exposed to binfluencers. Imagine seeing them get hundreds of likes, and comments. Imagine commenting but being ignored.

Now imagine the sense of solitude, loneliness and isolation. Imagine the ever-increasing sense of FOMO and post-traumatic stress from not being able to connect.

I bring this up because I saw that YouTube and Instagram are being called addictive. Yesterday I heard someone speak about mindless scrolling on Instagram.

Instagram was "addictive", when it was connecting me to friends, family and colleagues. It was addictive when I didn't have an ad that blocks my timeline for several seconds every fourth post. I use the word "addictive", when the right word is "engaging". Instagram was a pleasure to use, when it was a social app that connected me with friends, family and colleagues when we were not in the same physical space. When it pivoted to being about binfluencers and strangers, it became redundant.

The nail in the coffin of Instagram was seeing others get loads of engagement, whilst dealing with pandemic solitude. Instagram became ROMO. Reminder of Missing Out. 😉

YouTube

In the case of YouTube it might have been engaging at one time, when we could search through 30-100 videos at a time. Once they made it so that we get 6-8 recommendations per topic, and everything is written in clickbaitese, and every video uses the same cliché music and sound effects it becomes toxic.

When we could discover content, through browsing YouTube was engaging. When we could read video titles that were not written in clickbaitese, we wanted to click through and browse.

By getting algorithms to take over the timeline and recommendations I'm being fed video titles that repulse, rather attract me. I'm being fed titles that wean, rather than hook me. Ads repulsed me. Clickbait headlines disgusted me off of YouTube.

Engagement Versus Addiction

Humans are naturally social, as was proved by people preferring to play COVID roulette than to get to COVID zero. People want to connect with others, and want to be social. They want to establish relationships and friendships.

Social networks grew and thrived from bulletin boards to web forums and chatrooms to hybrid sites like MySpace, LiveJournal, Blogger and plenty of smaller niche forums. Eventually Twitter, Reddit, Facebook and other monoliths hoovered up every smaller community.

Sparse Geek Density

Twitter and Facebook were engaging because they connected people, in an age where being online was for geeks, not normal people. With time, and especially with the pandemic, normal people arrived on social media, which is when social media lost value.

And Finally, Loneliness is Repulsive, Not Addictive

Instagram and YouTube were interesting. Instagram was engaging when it complemented my life, when it connected me with people I knew and appreciated. When it pivoted and disconnected me from friends it lost its value.

With YouTube it was engaging and interesting when it allowed me to search for and find interesting content after browsing for a certain amount of time. Once it forced me to watch YoUTube optimised clickbait content, it lost it's value.

By pivoting away from being social networks social media sites became irrelevant. That's why they need to resort to addiction strategies.

Weaned from YouTube and Instagram

De-Instagramification

it amuses me to read about how Instagram and YouTube are addictive today, when the opposite is true. Imagine, you live alone. You're in the middle of a pandemic. Your only social exchange is at a petrol station when buying a coke or similar. You exchange three sentences and then you go back to abject solitude.

Now, imagine that at the same time as you deal with abject solitude you see social media pivoting from being about your friends and family, to people living a better, more social, more fulfilled life than you. Imagine being exposed to binfluencers. Imagine seeing them get hundreds of likes, and comments. Imagine commenting but being ignored.

Now imagine the sense of solitude, loneliness and isolation. Imagine the ever-increasing sense of FOMO and post-traumatic stress from not being able to connect.

I bring this up because I saw that YouTube and Instagram are being called addictive. Yesterday I heard someone speak about mindless scrolling on Instagram.

Instagram was "addictive", when it was connecting me to friends, family and colleagues. It was addictive when I didn't have an ad that blocks my timeline for several seconds every fourth post. I use the word "addictive", when the right word is "engaging". Instagram was a pleasure to use, when it was a social app that connected me with friends, family and colleagues when we were not in the same physical space. When it pivoted to being about binfluencers and strangers, it became redundant.

The nail in the coffin of Instagram was seeing others get loads of engagement, whilst dealing with pandemic solitude. Instagram became ROMO. Reminder of Missing Out. 😉

YouTube

In the case of YouTube it might have been engaging at one time, when we could search through 30-100 videos at a time. Once they made it so that we get 6-8 recommendations per topic, and everything is written in clickbaitese, and every video uses the same cliché music and sound effects it becomes toxic.

When we could discover content, through browsing YouTube was engaging. When we could read video titles that were not written in clickbaitese, we wanted to click through and browse.

By getting algorithms to take over the timeline and recommendations I'm being fed video titles that repulse, rather attract me. I'm being fed titles that wean, rather than hook me. Ads repulsed me. Clickbait headlines disgusted me off of YouTube.

Engagement Versus Addiction

Humans are naturally social, as was proved by people preferring to play COVID roulette than to get to COVID zero. People want to connect with others, and want to be social. They want to establish relationships and friendships.

Social networks grew and thrived from bulletin boards to web forums and chatrooms to hybrid sites like MySpace, LiveJournal, Blogger and plenty of smaller niche forums. Eventually Twitter, Reddit, Facebook and other monoliths hoovered up every smaller community.

Sparse Geek Density

Twitter and Facebook were engaging because they connected people, in an age where being online was for geeks, not normal people. With time, and especially with the pandemic, normal people arrived on social media, which is when social media lost value.

And Finally, Loneliness is Repulsive, Not Addictive

Instagram and YouTube were interesting. Instagram was engaging when it complemented my life, when it connected me with people I knew and appreciated. When it pivoted and disconnected me from friends it lost its value.

With YouTube it was engaging and interesting when it allowed me to search for and find interesting content after browsing for a certain amount of time. Once it forced me to watch YoUTube optimised clickbait content, it lost it's value.

By pivoting away from being social networks social media sites became irrelevant. That's why they need to resort to addiction strategies.

Thoughts on WhatsApp and GoSocial

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Before Whatsapp was bought by Facebook it was a great platform for people to chat with family and friends. When Facebook bought Whatsapp, many people, including myself, migrated towards Signal to avoid remaining in the Facebook sphere of influence. Social groups, and their luddites remained on Whatsapp, so we had to revert to using Facebook owned Whatsapp.

GoSocial takes this a step further. GoSocial is a community that has a facebook page that no one can chat on, and GoSocial town groups that no one can write within. In order to write anything you need to find an activity of interest, join the chat, and then you can do the car dance.

Logistics

"Who is driving from Geneva?", "Who is driving from Lausanne?", "Who is at the station already" and "is there a wait list" and then the sharing of photos at the end of the activity before the group is Expired and conversation is killed off.

Due to spamming problems on Whatsapp this makes sense, but from a community point of view I find the concept absurd. I find it absurd to use a chat client to organise events on a platform owned by Facebook. For me it would be more honest to join FB groups, post events there, and then participate.

If you're using Whatsapp, not to use facebook, then you are deluded. Whatsapp is owned and controlled by Facebook. By using either you are using the same communal cesspit. After this weekend I am tempted to dump Whatsapp again, and to give up on GoSocial as a result.

Yesterday I wrote about my concern about the noise pollution from the Caribana festival and it was called hateful. If anything my comment was satirical and ironic. I do not vent on the open web. I vent in the "privacy" of Facebook, if anywhere.

An Incident

I wrote that I hate Crapibana, but I never aimed hate at an individual. I was venting because this event is really, really disruptive. If people can buy a house by an airport and complain about aviation noise, then I can complain about music festivals.

This was not trolling, this was not a personal attack on an individual. This was a comment within a closed community that I had perceived as a safe space. Through being attacked for my comment, and then the owner of that group trying to get into an argument privately I lost interest in the community.

Posts Too Much

In another community, over a year ago I was trolled and a flame war was being fanned. I quit that group. That individual bullied me for posting too much.

Three Strikes

In yet another whatsapp group someone with admin privileges deleted images from a group hike that I had done with someone from the group that had invited me into the chat

A Healthy Community

For me, based on the tweetup community, and Seesmic community in France, Switzerland and England a healthy online community where we can chat as friends about multiple topics, without worrying about being too verbose, or too active.

A healthy community on Whatsapp is like the climbing group community that I was in. Some of us used Whatsapp like a private chat in between activities and it was nice. It was nice to be social between hikes, climbs, via ferrata and other activities.

It was nice to have a group to turn to in moments of solitude.

A Desire No Longer to Join Whatsapp Chats

After being burned by several Whatsapp groups my desire is no longer to join them when I am invited. What I want is a place to have conversations, within a group of friends, on a regular basis. These groups don't offer that. What others want is an RSS feed of events. What I want is a convivial atmosphere and a conversational space.

Enduring Contact

I compromised on my principles, to use Whatsapp, and in the end there is little reward for that compromise. My solitude is almost the same as if I had not touched Whatsapp. I have met people that I want to remain in contact with but after how I was treated I have blacklisted the organiser for his open hostility towards me in the open, and his desire to have an argument in private.

Caribana and Paléo are deeply disruptive events that affect my quality of life for half a week each. I just want a little empathy. It's the apathy that got to me on Sunday afternoon. A good weekend was impacted.

The Seasonal Cherry On the Cake

Social media and Social Networks used to be about conversations between people that could go on for weeks, months or even years. Now utilitarian influencers have hijacked the conversation, including on Whatsapp. Remember, not everyone on Whatsapp is taking a break from married family life. For single people Whatsapp chat rooms should be a convivial space where we can have conversations in between face to face meetings.

What I want is to be invited into a dynamic conversation with likeminded people. The same is true of hikes and bike rides. After a month or two of trying out GoSocial I have come to the conclusion that it is not for me.

And Finally

I forgot to manage my expectations. I expect that groups will be used like social media and social networks. They are not. People take a minimalist approach and that's what I keep hitting against. If I manage my expectations better, and become a minimalist in Whatsapp chat groups then I will fit in, with all the other lurkers. If I want conversations I have Threads, Bluesky and Facebook.

#community #facebook #paradox #socialNetwork #socialising #whatsapp

I think maybe I'm just not cut out for social stuff.

I have family messaging me trying to arrange to meetup this weekend but I don't want to think about that stuff 😅 I don't want to drive anywhere or see anyone. All I want to do is write code, play games, go to the gym and do some gardening. Forever.

#Family #socialising

@bojerlanski Dankeschön 🙏! Endlich wird mir so einiges klar. #mingeling #socialising #kommunikation #gesellschaft #bildung #idiocracy

The Desire to Hike First, and be Social Second

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Tomorrow there are at least three hikes and three bike rides that I know of. The hikes are via GoSocial and the bike rides are via Meetup. On Sunday I know of at least two to three GoSocial hikes and one Meetup hike. I have plenty of choice for what to do on weekends. In fact the choice is broader than that.

Over a week ago I signed up for a hike but over the last two weeks I have seen people say "I want to participate" without ever being told "sorry, we're full". My concern is that this will be another large hiking group with people who are out for a chat, and just happen to be walking at the same time. For some that's fine, after all it is a GoSocial hike, not a GoHike event.

If my past behaviour is an indication of future behaviour then I should avoid hikes that are too filled with people because I will eventually abandon the group and hike my own hike. If I am with 18 people then I eventually long for solitude and hike into the distance and leave the group behind. This is especially true with the Jaun to Gruyères hike. If I had followed my desire I would have dumped the group almost immediately, and almost did before lunch.

Small, Tight Knit Group

When I hiked with another group we were few, tight knit, and fast. We talked and we hiked fast. We stopped long enough for the group to be together again, and then we set off within seconds of becoming a single group again. That's nicer. That's comfortable. It also means that we talk with everyone in turn. We meet everyone in the group.

Whilst it's nice to find that so many people want to hike every weekend, and in such large numbers it has a cost. That cost is that extroverts get to talk, and because they're charismatic people will listen to them, rather than each other. We go from pairs of people having conversations to broadcasts where the charismatic extrovert hogs the conversation.

It's not that it matters. It's that if I hike in my thought I can go for a solitary hike.

Too Large

If I could, I would go on every hike, and I would be social with everyone. As I am an introvert, if the group reaches a certain size I will withdraw and walk at the front, or the back of a group, but rarely in the middle. I could go on two to three hikes tomorrow but the size is large, and I question whether I would be social.

The Lure Of Cycling Groups

I like to cycle, and I like to cycle with people. For at least two or three years I have thought that I should find a cycling group. Now I know of a group that meets on Saturday mornings to go for bike ride so I should experiment.

Yesterday I thought that I had signed up for a relaxed ride but for some reason it wasn't accepted. I will do a moderate ride, which I fear will knacker me. Luckily I know the climbs, and the region. We will see how slow I am compared to those that ride all the time.

And Finally

After such a sporty two months of hiking I have full confidence that I can do the hikes. With cycling my optic is different. I have hiked over eight hundred kilometres this year, and cycled just two hundred and twenty nine this year. This means that my legs are not yet optimal for cycling. Having said this, I got to the Signal de Bougy comfortably.

I will see how it goes.

#friendships #gosocial #hikes #meetup #social #socialising #walking

Unexpected #BBQ in the #socialising area!

This Way of #Socialising Cuts #Depression Risk In Half

https://www.spring.org.uk/2025/04/this-way-of-socialising-cuts-depression-risk-in-half.php

Why sofas in pubs need to be banned

https://theneuroscienceofeverydaylife.substack.com/p/why-sofas-in-pubs-need-to-be-banned

Had a busy and distracting week, so it's made me go all totalitarian about a personal bugbear.

This is absolutely a hill I will die on, make no mistake about that.

#Pubs #Socialising #Psychology #Sofas

Why sofas in pubs need to be banned

https://theneuroscienceofeverydaylife.substack.com/p/why-sofas-in-pubs-need-to-be-banned

Had a busy and distracting week, so it's made me go all totalitarian about a personal bugbear.

This is absolutely a hill I will die on, make no mistake about that.

#Pubs #Socialising #Psychology #Sofas

Why sofas in pubs need to be banned

https://theneuroscienceofeverydaylife.substack.com/p/why-sofas-in-pubs-need-to-be-banned

Had a busy and distracting week, so it's made me go all totalitarian about a personal bugbear.

This is absolutely a hill I will die on, make no mistake about that.

#Pubs #Socialising #Psychology #Sofas

Reading blog posts like this makes me super happy https://supernuclear.substack.com/p/stoop-coffee-how-a-simple-idea-transformed #community #coffee #socialising

#socialising Wiederhauen macht Freude!

#socialmedia #Streitkultur #Katzen

#GenZ is Leading The Way With #BoozeFree #Socialising

#GenZers are increasingly going #sober or #sobercurious as changing norms take the #socialpressure off the perceived need for consuming #alcohol to have #fun.

https://www.onlygoodnewsdaily.com/post/gen-z-is-leading-the-way-with-booze-free-socialising

Why Your Social Capital is Probably Worthless :blobcatgiggle:

https://www.joanwestenberg.com/why-your-social-capital-is-probably-worthless/

#Blog
#Socialising
#Networking

Reading Time: 2 minutes

I love to recycle but recently on Saturday I have been hiking or climbing so I couldn't go to the recycling centre. The result is that I often accumulate recycling for several weeks. One day I finally have a saturday morning free, and that isn't a public holiday, and I take things to recycle.

My other reason for not going to the recycling centre much is that the road to and from the recycling is narrow. It's not narrow if you drive old cars, but it is narrow if you drive modern cars. My car is narrow and small so I can drive down that road, two abreast, but usually I wait for the path to be cleared, as that is the norm, at the moment.

I wish that getting to and from the recycling centre was more convenient. I wish that the road was slightly wider but also that commuters would stop going down that narrow road as if it was a short cut. There are plenty of wide roads that could be used by commuters instead. That's my reason for going at 08:30-09:00. It's abusrd to go there at rush hour.

If I had my way that road would be closed to cars, except for those going to recycle, or the local houses. It would become a cycling path instead. It has the ideal width to be a cycling lane and walking path. The paradox of this road is that it's narrow, so people race down over the speed limit, in the hope that they won't get blocked. It is a road that I hate cycling, and walking along, because of how dangerous people are when driving down this road. By going down this road as little as possible I help by not being part of the problem.

Another reason I went this morning is that it's raining. If it's raining people are likely to think "I can go next week". I like when it's quiet.

And Finally

I am not being lazy by not hiking or doing other things. It's good that I take a break from hiking to do something as essential as recycling. One day I might even be fully up to date.

https://www.main-vision.com/richard/blog/the-saturday-recycling-trip/

#chores #hiking #recycling #responsibility #socialising

Reading Time: 2 minutes

On Friday I organised a Via Ferrata at the Via Ferrata du Moléson and it went well. I met new people including people that were not part of the group. The weather was cool so there was no risk of heat stroke or dehydration.

What made this VF so relaxed for me, is that I was behind someone who was afraid, so I continued at a relaxed pace behind. It gave me time to look at the landscape, to take pictures and to speak with someone who was stuck behind us. I wasn’t in a rush, and luckily neither was the person behind.

The thing about VF is that it’s not always easy to converse because it might be hard for people to hear each other. I found a good spot, turned around and looked at the landscape, looked at the details, tried to recognise places. At one point a plane flew by us, and then a glider flew by.

It’s the stop for a snack at the top and the hike down that provided to the value of this event. I spent the climb slightly isolated from the group. I could have stayed close but I observed the safety rule. Stay one or two clips behind the person ahead of you in case they fall. I also followed the rule of waiting patiently where I could, with ease.

Speaking and snacking at the top was good, but so was the hike down. This is a VF where you can take the Funiculaire to Plan Francey and then do the VF, and then take the telecabine back down, and the train back down. This is usually a shame, because by doing that you cut the experience short. The télécabine and Funicaire cut the trip down to just half an hour.

By walking down you get two and a half hours to three hours to chat with various people, to get to know about them, what they do, what they enjoy and more. I think that this added tremendous value to the day. I think that it’s good to be in the moment.

## And Finally

From the moment I broke my arm, through the pandemic years to recently I really missed doing group activities, either through Globals or meetup or other sites. One of the things I missed is that I didn’t see anything being organised, in the first place, so I couldn’t join in.

Now that COVID denialism is endemic, people like me have had no choice to just compromise, and do things in groups again. Luckily everything I enjoy doing is outdoors. Part of my reason for wanting to walk down, rather than take the télécabine is that I didn’t want to be enclosed in a small space with others.

I think that walking down was the right choice anyway, because by walking down we had a chance to talk with everyone. Sometimes you do a VF, and if you’re in the wrong place you’re isolated. By throwing in the hike you get to speak to everyone.

Yesterday was a good day, and I’m happy I organised it.

https://www.main-vision.com/richard/blog/the-pleasure-of-meetups/

#activities #IRL #meetup #offline #social #socialising #sports

This is a terrible time of year!

Not only is it dark most of the time in the Northern Hemisphere (Gaelic speakers aptly call the last month of the year An Dùbhlachd ‘The Darkness’)

But most of December is basically an assault on those of us who value routine and sameness

Then the liminal period between Christmas and New Year is an opportunity for media (including social media ‘content creators’) to put out low-effort compilations and retrospectives – which for the most part none of us want to read/watch/listen to

And now, a few days into the year, comes the awkward period when I would dearly love some social contact, but I don’t want to pressure any of my friends into talking or meeting up because they probably need a break from all their excess socialising in December (which I did none of)

#ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyADHD #AuDHD #neurodivergent #routine #sameness #socialising #friends #darkness #Christmas #NewYear #Gàidhlig #ScottishGaelic

For those in the environs of London, and combined interests in #Linux, #beer, and #socialising, this is tomorrow: https://www.meetup.com/londonlinux/events/294327517

Had a good night out last night. It's been a while! Had science cocktails at The Alchemist in Glasgow and then went to watch some comedy. No dramas for once. Cheryl's new anxiety meds seem to be doing well for her.

#cocktails #science #socialising #alcohol

@sim

But maybe there is a simpler reason. What if the mere act of being in the company of others and #socialising in a #learning setting is likely to engender a sense of #togetherness that fosters #leftist thought?

While we disagree strongly with the idea of expressly using kids for political outcomes, helping them to learn #sustainability issues is fine, and in our opinion, urgent.

@lebronjames76