#actuallyadhd — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #actuallyadhd, aggregated by home.social.
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Well, around 02:10, after opening NewPipe, downloading an ambient noise video & the app not giving the option of playback I tried Podcast Addict, the only viable option out of the 3 possible apps it offered for playback.
Okay, let's try for sleep, kill screen as any light just keeps me awake (my eyelids are like tissue paper). Problem, killing screen kills playback 😡.
I'm too tired, will look into what options to tweak in the morning or whenever.I doze till about 04:30 as I need to roll over to relieve my bones & whatever else is aching. Try getting back to dozing... 30 odd minutes later, my body is deep frying me from the inside 😩.
Okay, I'm awake but I don't like it.
Can't believe how quickly I went thorough my notifications on here, replied to a few & back scrolled Home feed to see what I missed.
...So now, what do I do?
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems #TissuePaperEyelids #WaferThinEyelids
#TooWarm -
Sleepy yay ! Been awake since around 05:30. Less than 4 hours sleep as I didn't roll over without my phone in hand till 02;01.
Been looking for byline times RSS & severely disappointed that they don't have one.Anywhose, it's 6:50-ish & I'm actually thinking of getting up before my brain realises it's supposed to be in sleep mode.
Today is going to be interesting but good or bad interesting?#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems -
"His 2nd pediatrician was keen to put R "on the spectrum". I wanted to tell the man that everyone alive on this fluke little planet was on the spectrum.That's what a spectrum IS. I wanted to tell the man that life itself is a spectrum disorder, where each of us vibrated at some unique frequency in the continuous rainbow. Then I wanted to punch him. I suppose there's a name for that, too."
-- Richard Powers, Bewilderment [2021]🌈🌱☀️💫
#actuallyAutistic #actuallyADHD #bookstodon #rebcommendations
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@actuallyadhd @autistics I saw a NYT story about autistics working in professional kitchens. It occurred to me to ask folks in /r/kitchenconfidential for their experiences with autistics in kitchens—not for me but for the community here and on autistic subreddits.
I think you'll be pleased by the response. In a nutshell: a LOT of folks in professional kitchens are autistic, AuDHD, or ADHD. I imagine that they're L1 or 2.
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Ever had one of those days where, it's been so frelling long that you've forgotten what it's like to not be in burnout but you're also just mad at everything because there's no way out of burnout?
No official diagnosis & your GP threw out the preliminary test that said you're a good candidate for autism that you got years ago. The waiting list is impossibly long so by the time you:
1) Pluck up the dice / spoons to face the GP (I'm still working on it 😣)...
2) Get an appointment & (by a miracle) maybe still have the dice / spoons...
3) Actually persuade the GP an AuDHD diagnosis is what you need...
4) Jump through whatever hoops to get the preliminaries sorted...
5) Get the green light for getting a diagnosis...... You'll be waiting so long, you won't need it anymore as you're too old to work & are on minimum pension.
My messed up bodyclock doesn't help either.
Oh, it's you Depression... 😫... Just what I need 😡😩.
I hate it when I give myself reality checks 😔.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#SelfCare #Depression
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems -
CW: Nightmare with child harm, the state of the world because of the few world class criminals.
Weird, or just because of the state of the world.
Looking at you, Fart stain (trump) & you Nastyyahoo (Netinyahu(?)) In particular. Putler's (Putin's) lackies, doing his dirty work? 🤷Woke up because of bad dream that would definitely fit in with the kind of horror movies involving the supernatural & hauntings. I don't remember much apart from the most horrendous outcome, resulting in the house, or people being haunted by a screaming baby that's completely unrecognisable because it's just this black shape, burned completely.
That's probably the bit that woke me up.Checked the time (07:30) & tried to get back to sleep... Must have drifted as I found myself with the same people being forced to go different ways one North, the other South & a long way away from their home. They split up to wait for, I assume their respective transport.
Dream cuts to the inhuman screaming from previous dream & I'm back at the place that's now haunted by this ghost or entity of this burned baby. It's pitch black but when the ghost shows up I can still see it's shiny black form that looks like it's become more demon with more bulk & fat folds than any baby would have.
That's my cue & I'm awake. It's 08:00.I felt awake but my eyes were & at 09:00 (now) still are, "nope, not ready."
This timeline is gross.
Why are people who have rap sheets a mile long & growing day by day in charge of entire countries, with other countries (🙄SOME other countries), mine included 🫣🤬, more or less going, "yes sir ,no sir, three bags full." for these criminals who should have been jailed years ago?!Sorry for spreading more negativity but I needed it out & shouting at a wall or a door wasn't going to cut it.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #Depression #SleepProblems
#Greed #PoliticalCorruption #CriminalsInPower #MassMurderers
#RapistsInPower #PedophilesInPower #ChildMurderersInPower
#EpicFails #Enshittification -
Hmm 🤔. Seriously wondering if I've lost an hour or if BST just started in the middle of my evening in the middle of the week?
I'm guessing the former but it really feels like a switch was flipped & the day / clocks just jumped forward by an hour in the blink of an eye.
This makes me sad & mad 😞😣😠.
I hate it when both my autistic & ADHD selves gang up on me.
Evening plans wrecked or tomorrow wrecked if stubborn me comes along & plays along with insomnia.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction -
Dear Old Git Time,
Please rewind, hold your horses, slow down, chill, take a break, hit pause, back it up, go back a bit, and a bit more, give me a chance, calm down dear, for the love of sanity STOP!
Yours Sincerely,
Tired of Always Losing Huge Chunks of My Day#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
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Research into MBTI® type, neurodivergence, and neurodiversity - A report from The Myers-Briggs Company [2024]
This seems to be an interesting and quite recent study that differenciates [in a very respectful way!] between participants that self-diagnosed and those who have an externally validated diagnose.
#MBTI #MyersBriggs #actuallyAutistic #actuallyADHD #tourette #neurodivergence #neurodiversity #workPlace #ocd #dyslexia #dyspraxia #dyscalculia
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I seem to have identified a bug in my systems.
No matter how much time (in hours not minutes) I give myself to wrap my head around prepping & even starting to prep for eventually going to be at or if possible before midnight, I somehow still end up not getting to bed till 02:00 give or take half an hour.I can feel completely zonked all day or all evening due to short nights of sleep if I have to get up early. It makes no sense. I think I need to start using a metaphorical hammer & somehow persuade myself that the world won't end if I do that thing tomorrow or those things the day after.
It does seem to be because there's that one thing, out of many that's been hanging over me for days, weeks, months or longer & today was going to be the day. So it may be late but this maybe the only time I have a set of spoons the right shape or strong enough to deal with this task. It's now or never.
It can be a small complex task, revamping bullet journal templates in my more app, sorting out all the stages for a future batch cook or a long laborious one involving things I'm not keen on like clearing up cobwebs & bugs 😱 or unidentified spills, dirt & giant dust bunnies 🤢.
I've tried reminders, alarms. I've planned days where everything has all the time I need & more but inevitably this either leads to stagnation because I'm so out of spoons not helped by the side effects of lack of sleep. Alternatively, the ADHD trait of getting sidetracked comes along & nixes my timings & tasks.
I've tried getting up earlier which, unless I have an early enough appointment or planned activity with or for other people generally fail to launch on time or if I survived the important thing in the early hours, I'm then a zombie & spend more time just sitting, gathering dice / spoons by not doing anything.I keep telling myself I'll figure it out & find a way but I'm not sure I'm wired to ever find a fix for getting myself to bed before midnight.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction #LackOfFocus #SelfCare #Life #Sleep #SleepProblems
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Parenting Does Not Cause ADHD: Dr. Mate' is Wrong Again - Russell Barkley, PhD - Dedicated to ADHD Science+
note: parenting = mothers
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Xj6H3k9sz0 #ADHD #trauma #RussellBarkley #GaborMate #ActuallyADHD #MotherBlaming
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Why Dr Gabor Mate' is Worse Than Wrong About ADHD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bO19LWJ0ZnM #actuallyADHD #ADHD #GaborMate #RussellBarkley
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I really wish my Mam wasn't such a technophobe. Doubly annoying that she lives so far away & triply so that she doesn't ask one of her more tech savvy friend's to help her get to grips with her phone.
The flip side is that she's the only person who phones me so I have no way to verify if all the phone call woes are her accidentally triggering things by touching buttons or things on screen (I can imagine her holding the phone slightly away from her ear so the in-call screen is displayed) & putting herself on mute or me on hold.
Is it her or has my phone, network or the Lineage OS developed problems?
After today's particularly Mute & Hold heavy call, or calls - I'd have to hang up & phone her again & again to get back to having a conversation instead of hearing nothing or being on hold - I hope she will take my strong suggestion of asking one, or some of her friends to help her.
I was hoping she would be coming over for xmas or new year's, giving me a chance to check her phone, maybe minimize google spying & if I can figure out how to be patient enough show her how to use her phone whilst knowing she won't remember or will struggle to remember.
I'd also have to hope I can still fathom how phones running android OS work as it's been several years.I don't have the spoons to go visit her & with the festively terrible (non-existant) public transport between hers & the nearest hotel ensuring my spoon tank is permanently empty for the duration so it's probably not a good idea.
Last year I left her's on xmas day just before we were going to have dinner. Walking back to the hotel in tears & having snacks instead of a good meal. I do not recommend as it's probably my worst xmas & would not like a repeat. 😔😢😞.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #SelfCare #Technophobia #TechEducation #TechFails #EpicTechFails #Enshittification
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Random thoughts & feeling energised in a knackered sort of way. If I was less knackered & not aiming for the end of day wind down I'd get of my backside & do things.
If this foes turn into a solid bit of insomnia, maybe I should use it as it'll mean that I won't get nothing done tomorrow.
Hello insomnia, my old frenemy.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems
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Really need to get to bed before midnight tonight, or I turn into a gremlin or something 🤷.
I need to start reclaiming my mornings as it would be nice to get to about lunch time & actually have accomplished some thing. Just simple things maybe but things like a bit of house cleaning, going for a walk, some reading & maybe a little bit of writing & drawing.
Maybe it could boost my confidence & make it possible to volunteer somewhere, even if the local volunteering options are only charity shop work.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare #Depression #Life #Sleep #SleepProblems
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You ever notice how absolutely fucked up socialization has been pushed on us that has more problems actually?
"Don't trust strangers" BITCH, EVERYONE IS A STRANGER. then the parents wonder why their kid has social anxiety. It's so stupid
#BeebzBlog #traumarecovery #cptsd #actuallyautistic #actuallyadhd #strangerdanger
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Anyone else a fan of the movie/tv show Limitless? Watching them for maybe the 4th or 5th time now. The starting position of these two people resonates really hard, especially Eddie since he's a writer like me. Probably it's the ADHD side, but could be the autistic side; not sure since I'm both. Definitely an executive function issue. The appeal isn't of being smarter (although that's cool too), it's that being able to engage hyperfocus at will. If I could just look at (one of) my to-do list(s), and hyperfocus each item off of it, *that* would be amazing.
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For the change of seasons, I used to do all relevant #spellwork, #cleansing, decor, card pulls, and other seasonal #rituals in one day during the Solstices or Equinoxes. I've realized that's not really the move given my #AuDHD brain lol. So lately I'm slowly doing some cool tasks leading up to the #Fall #Equinox.
This is also my first change of season since deciding to do semi-regular screen breaks/dopamine detoxes, and I'm looking forward to it! I took my first ever intentional detox back in July, and holy shit, I felt so calm during it. Going forward, I'm planning on doing them for 5-7 days during Solstices and Equinoxes, so my first seasonal detox is coming up this Monday. I get overstimulated easily, so I'm hoping that disconnecting from so much stimuli semi-regularly is enough to keep me regulated. I'm thinking about adding a short 2-3 day social media break mid-way through seasons too if I need it.
#autumn #fallequinox #seasons #ritual #mystic #witch #witches #magic #magick #witchcraft #witchy #spells #Tarot #oracle #ActuallyAutistic #adhd #actuallyadhd #audhdetox #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurodivergence #neurodivergency #neurodivergentcommunity #screenbreak #dopaminedetox #socialmediabreak #MentalWellness #mentalhealth #break #SocialMediaDetox #detox #detoxing
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For the change of seasons, I used to do all relevant #spellwork, #cleansing, decor, card pulls, and other seasonal #rituals in one day during the Solstices or Equinoxes. I've realized that's not really the move given my #AuDHD brain lol. So lately I'm slowly doing some cool tasks leading up to the #Fall #Equinox.
This is also my first change of season since deciding to do semi-regular screen breaks/dopamine detoxes, and I'm looking forward to it! I took my first ever intentional detox back in July, and holy shit, I felt so calm during it. Going forward, I'm planning on doing them for 5-7 days during Solstices and Equinoxes, so my first seasonal detox is coming up this Monday. I get overstimulated easily, so I'm hoping that disconnecting from so much stimuli semi-regularly is enough to keep me regulated. I'm thinking about adding a short 2-3 day social media break mid-way through seasons too if I need it.
#autumn #fallequinox #seasons #ritual #mystic #witch #witches #magic #magick #witchcraft #witchy #spells #Tarot #oracle #ActuallyAutistic #adhd #actuallyadhd #audhdetox #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurodivergence #neurodivergency #neurodivergentcommunity #screenbreak #dopaminedetox #socialmediabreak #MentalWellness #mentalhealth #break #SocialMediaDetox #detox #detoxing
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For the change of seasons, I used to do all relevant #spellwork, #cleansing, decor, card pulls, and other seasonal #rituals in one day during the Solstices or Equinoxes. I've realized that's not really the move given my #AuDHD brain lol. So lately I'm slowly doing some cool tasks leading up to the #Fall #Equinox.
This is also my first change of season since deciding to do semi-regular screen breaks/dopamine detoxes, and I'm looking forward to it! I took my first ever intentional detox back in July, and holy shit, I felt so calm during it. Going forward, I'm planning on doing them for 5-7 days during Solstices and Equinoxes, so my first seasonal detox is coming up this Monday. I get overstimulated easily, so I'm hoping that disconnecting from so much stimuli semi-regularly is enough to keep me regulated. I'm thinking about adding a short 2-3 day social media break mid-way through seasons too if I need it.
#autumn #fallequinox #seasons #ritual #mystic #witch #witches #magic #magick #witchcraft #witchy #spells #Tarot #oracle #ActuallyAutistic #adhd #actuallyadhd #audhdetox #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurodivergence #neurodivergency #neurodivergentcommunity #screenbreak #dopaminedetox #socialmediabreak #MentalWellness #mentalhealth #break #SocialMediaDetox #detox #detoxing
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For the change of seasons, I used to do all relevant #spellwork, #cleansing, decor, card pulls, and other seasonal #rituals in one day during the Solstices or Equinoxes. I've realized that's not really the move given my #AuDHD brain lol. So lately I'm slowly doing some cool tasks leading up to the #Fall #Equinox.
This is also my first change of season since deciding to do semi-regular screen breaks/dopamine detoxes, and I'm looking forward to it! I took my first ever intentional detox back in July, and holy shit, I felt so calm during it. Going forward, I'm planning on doing them for 5-7 days during Solstices and Equinoxes, so my first seasonal detox is coming up this Monday. I get overstimulated easily, so I'm hoping that disconnecting from so much stimuli semi-regularly is enough to keep me regulated. I'm thinking about adding a short 2-3 day social media break mid-way through seasons too if I need it.
#autumn #fallequinox #seasons #ritual #mystic #witch #witches #magic #magick #witchcraft #witchy #spells #Tarot #oracle #ActuallyAutistic #adhd #actuallyadhd #audhdetox #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurodivergence #neurodivergency #neurodivergentcommunity #screenbreak #dopaminedetox #socialmediabreak #MentalWellness #mentalhealth #break #SocialMediaDetox #detox #detoxing
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For the change of seasons, I used to do all relevant #spellwork, #cleansing, decor, card pulls, and other seasonal #rituals in one day during the Solstices or Equinoxes. I've realized that's not really the move given my #AuDHD brain lol. So lately I'm slowly doing some cool tasks leading up to the #Fall #Equinox.
This is also my first change of season since deciding to do semi-regular screen breaks/dopamine detoxes, and I'm looking forward to it! I took my first ever intentional detox back in July, and holy shit, I felt so calm during it. Going forward, I'm planning on doing them for 5-7 days during Solstices and Equinoxes, so my first seasonal detox is coming up this Monday. I get overstimulated easily, so I'm hoping that disconnecting from so much stimuli semi-regularly is enough to keep me regulated. I'm thinking about adding a short 2-3 day social media break mid-way through seasons too if I need it.
#autumn #fallequinox #seasons #ritual #mystic #witch #witches #magic #magick #witchcraft #witchy #spells #Tarot #oracle #ActuallyAutistic #adhd #actuallyadhd #audhdetox #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #neurodivergence #neurodivergency #neurodivergentcommunity #screenbreak #dopaminedetox #socialmediabreak #MentalWellness #mentalhealth #break #SocialMediaDetox #detox #detoxing
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@RolandRides
I'd replace "becoming a millionaire" with doing anything that's amazing because we don't all want money, just the supports we need to overcome executive dysfunction, but our ideas could still do/be amazing things. Some of my ideas can't even be sold, but could still change people's lives. And the ones that can be sold are unlikely to make much money because they will probably only be enjoyed by a minority of people.But aside from that point, this resonates with me so hard. :blob_cat_cry:
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@RolandRides
I'd replace "becoming a millionaire" with doing anything that's amazing because we don't all want money, just the supports we need to overcome executive dysfunction, but our ideas could still do/be amazing things. Some of my ideas can't even be sold, but could still change people's lives. And the ones that can be sold are unlikely to make much money because they will probably only be enjoyed by a minority of people.But aside from that point, this resonates with me so hard. :blob_cat_cry:
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@RolandRides
I'd replace "becoming a millionaire" with doing anything that's amazing because we don't all want money, just the supports we need to overcome executive dysfunction, but our ideas could still do/be amazing things. Some of my ideas can't even be sold, but could still change people's lives. And the ones that can be sold are unlikely to make much money because they will probably only be enjoyed by a minority of people.But aside from that point, this resonates with me so hard. :blob_cat_cry:
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@RolandRides
I'd replace "becoming a millionaire" with doing anything that's amazing because we don't all want money, just the supports we need to overcome executive dysfunction, but our ideas could still do/be amazing things. Some of my ideas can't even be sold, but could still change people's lives. And the ones that can be sold are unlikely to make much money because they will probably only be enjoyed by a minority of people.But aside from that point, this resonates with me so hard. :blob_cat_cry:
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@RolandRides
I'd replace "becoming a millionaire" with doing anything that's amazing because we don't all want money, just the supports we need to overcome executive dysfunction, but our ideas could still do/be amazing things. Some of my ideas can't even be sold, but could still change people's lives. And the ones that can be sold are unlikely to make much money because they will probably only be enjoyed by a minority of people.But aside from that point, this resonates with me so hard. :blob_cat_cry:
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@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic
Well, life with no schedule & no solid plans has hit a small bolder today.
I had a vague plan to finally give my Lineage OS a massive update (going through most of the rigmarole of installing fresh OS procedure 😰) & updating a laptop that's been neglected for several months & finally Linux-ifying my Surface that has been missing for many months (possibly a year or more).The small bolder = my phone, thankfully, reminding me that today is library day, swap & renew books. Renew I could do online but swap means prep for peopling mode, get changed & step outside.
Today I started feeling fine but my lack of enough sleep soon caught up, so me & my brain just cringed & thought, "hell no!" to the reminder, but needs must.
I'm glad I managed to just get on with it rather than waste ½ - 1 hour trying to rejig a planned day. It meant I could just get on with it.
I'm back from the library & a quick look in the secondhand bookshop / cafe where I found two books to take home. Got back home, still feeling knackered but also feeling much better.
I doubt I've got the spoons to sort my phone but laptop is doable & if I've still got the time & mood to do it, maybe sort the Surface.
Oops! More than I was expecting to prattle 😅. Guess my autism is in a talky mood.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems #MindFog #Burnout #Spoons
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@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic
Today's plans got chucked in the bin last night.
First I messed up, then my guts kept me awake for 1½ hours. Still had a few things planned but I'll try & see if today can be used to begin weaning me off plans.
If in can wean myself off plans, maybe I can begin to learn to be a bit more spontaneous, or so goes the theory.First, try wrapping my head around the 'be kind / gentle with yourself' mantra as I always fall into the trap of, '-but this needs doing, or I can quickly do this, & that & probably this thing!
Next thing I know, it's taken me 6 - 8 hours not including food breaks to get these three, quick & simple tasks done & I'm as relaxed as mouse in a trap, being stalked by a cat.Here's hoping I can put a crack in that self-destructive cycle.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#Depression #Sleep #SleepProblems -
@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic
Waking up & wondering why my bedside lamp is on & why my phone isn't next to it?
Especially as I remember putting phone next to it & switching the lamp off.
Hello, life stresses. What's happening now?Also, why does my body default to 6 hours sleep? When it clearly needs more? And yet it won't let me install the Nap Time plugin I so desperately need.
Result: permanent dice / spoon deficit
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
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Why do I even wake up before my eyeballs are even close to coming back online?
Woke up, eyes closed, comfy in bed… time passes, 'okay, what time is it? I'm bored of this now but still comfy if a little toasty with my summer duvet. '
Digs out phone from under pillow & tries to crank open eyes. The eyes are fine but the mechanism's all gummed up & though they open it's a hard slog.
Activate phone & get that blinding light feeling, eyes emergency close slams them shut.
That's better, eyeballs back in hibernation mode, or whatever. I put phone back & just let myself doze but I'm too warm & a bit bored.
I think parts of my brain are seriously out of sync with other parts of my brain & it's not a problem I can fix. Possibly caused by a night-owl trying & failing to adapt & go to bed earlier to get up earlier.
Currently just trying to retrain my body & brain to sleep for 7+ - 8+ hours a night (daytime naps have never caught on) as currently I'm usually managing 6+ hours & often not fit for things like driving or socialising, even when it's my regular weekly art group I attend & usually enjoy.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems
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Less than 4 hours sleep & my body trying to roast me after two days of ridiculously high temps. Today is supposed to be 10°C cooler but right now at 05:35 it feels 10°C hotter than the last two days.
So, nobody remind me what it's like to feel comfortable or relatively comfortable.So… this is what the frying pan looks like from down here in the fire?
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems #Summer #TooWarm #AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
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#Introduction Hashtags, so I can pin this post and take them out of my profile:
#Education #Research #Phd, #BCS #Computing #Teacher #CCT
#CSEd #Programming #BCS
#ActuallyAutistic
#ActuallyADHD
I live with #MultipleSclerosis
#Zen / #Nonduality #Buddhist, weirdly into #Jung
#Research topics:
- #EdAI / #AIEd - #LLMs in #Education
- #CriticalStudies of #EdTech
- #Neurodiversity in #Education, and the experience of ND educators. -
Okay body of mine, I've got up & taken a painkiller, then crawled back into the sleep apparatus known as B.E.D. The painkiller has been working for nearly an hour now, so why won't you let me sleep?
What's with, 'here's a screening of random bad decisions from your past' ?
Okay, fine… I'll get on Mastodon if it will stop this self-torture.
Why have I got a masochist for a brain?
*Kneels down in giant puddle, in a horrendous rainstorm & rants at the sky *
Whhhhhyyyyyy‽#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems
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Screw this, I'm getting up. May as well start my day … 5 hours early.
Maybe a miracle will happen & I'll actually feel up to doing things.#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems #AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
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Feeling wierdly inspired to make a schedule or roster. Problem is I know I'm either, A) going to try it & fail within minutes, hours, days or at some point in the second week or, B) will find myself unable to try it because I've forgotten there's things I need to do that don't fit or because I just don't have the dice/spoons/battery.
It is of course typical that I'm settling down to have supper & watch a film before making an attempt to get to bed before 00:30 instead of after 02:30 when.this urge has to strike. I would like to be able to enjoy my mornings without sleeping or dozing through them.
Fingers 🤞 the movie & my supper distract me enough to leave it till a more sensible time.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Hyperfocus #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #Focus #Life #Sleep #SleepProblems
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If you cannot go no contact your next best bet is #greyRocking or #yellowRocking. You become non-reactive to their actions. You stay calm, controlled, rational, and emotionally disengaged. It's hard but possible.
When you do that you take away the abuser's power over you. They no longer can control you through your emotions. Just be prepared: they'll most likely double down on the abuse before accepting the fact that you can no longer be controlled by them. And they'll most likely never stop probing you as long as you are still in contact with them.
If you can go no contact. Do it for yourself. You deserve better.
#abuse #emotionalAbuse #narcissisticAbuse #neurodivergent #autistic #actuallyAutistic #actuallyADHD #actuallyAuDHD
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Breaking the #traumaBond that binds you to your abuser is hard work. You literally go through the stages of grief, as part of breaking it requires you to let go of the shared delusion that your abuser is a "good person".
This means that you lose the person you thought they were. All while potentially still interacting with them. All while potentially still being subjected to their manipulations.
This is why people recommend going no contact. Healing from abuse requires you to re-center yourself in your reality, in your perception. And that results in your abuser having less control. Spoiler: they don't want that.
#abuse #emotionalAbuse #narcissisticAbuse #neurodivergent #autistic #actuallyAutistic #actuallyADHD #actuallyAuDHD
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Insomnia edition of me survived the pitstop at the art group (no dice for hanging around & peopling or doodling) & then getting the shopping done, all whilst having to people on trams & hoofing it between art group & supermarket.
I was definitely not up to driving on zero sleep.Rats! Need to order new wiper as that's the other reason for not driving, been needing to get a new front wiper since last week 🤣 & figured it would start raining if I drove anywhere.
I guess that makes me a believer in the
god/dess known as Sod.I'll order it when I'm back from my weekend away as knowing sods law I'd get a text halfway to my destination saying it's out for delivery & the prat will leave it in front of my house where anybody can nick it. Yep, that's my usual kinda luck.
Hope people are having a better or at least a less cursed with insomnia day.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems
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Okay morning schedule rejigged but I'm now over 10 minutes behind 😆.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems
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Okay, may as well get myself into vertical mode & hunt down some breakfast & then rejig my day round the supposed extra 2½ hours of morning time available.
Alternatively, I'll get up, get downstairs & stall once I hit the sofa.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems
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#RFKjr is a bad person, some doctors say the definition of autism is too broad.
https://nypost.com/2023/04/24/doctor-who-broadened-autism-spectrum-sorry-for-over-diagnosis/
#reserach #actuallyadhd #actuallyautistic #autism
#ADHD #science #factsmatter -
Been playing on https://www.erionmud.com and am thoroughly enjoying the crafting system. Having the option to just work uninterrupted, in familiar patterns, appeals to my #ActuallyAutistic need for structure and familiarity, while when my #ActuallyADHD side wants novelty, I can go wander the realm and see what pops up. And if I need something, I can make it myself, darn it! LOL If you try it out and need some pointers, I'm usually up there as Tamryn, so feel free to ask me anything.
***Hashtags Here:***
#ActuallyAuDHD #MUDs #MUD #Gaming #MultiUserDungeon #Neurodivergent -
Been playing on https://www.erionmud.com and am thoroughly enjoying the crafting system. Having the option to just work uninterrupted, in familiar patterns, appeals to my #ActuallyAutistic need for structure and familiarity, while when my #ActuallyADHD side wants novelty, I can go wander the realm and see what pops up. And if I need something, I can make it myself, darn it! LOL If you try it out and need some pointers, I'm usually up there as Tamryn, so feel free to ask me anything.
***Hashtags Here:***
#ActuallyAuDHD #MUDs #MUD #Gaming #MultiUserDungeon #Neurodivergent -
Been playing on https://www.erionmud.com and am thoroughly enjoying the crafting system. Having the option to just work uninterrupted, in familiar patterns, appeals to my #ActuallyAutistic need for structure and familiarity, while when my #ActuallyADHD side wants novelty, I can go wander the realm and see what pops up. And if I need something, I can make it myself, darn it! LOL If you try it out and need some pointers, I'm usually up there as Tamryn, so feel free to ask me anything.
***Hashtags Here:***
#ActuallyAuDHD #MUDs #MUD #Gaming #MultiUserDungeon #Neurodivergent -
I just hurt the person I love because I am overstimulated and snapped at them while they themselves were wrestling with complex emotions.
I apologized and let them know it was not their fault but man, I wish it'd be easier to recognize when I'm reaching my limit. It's frustrating to notice after the fact that I wasn't in any condition to navigate any kind of conflict because then it's obviously too late. Haven't quite figured that one out yet and I gather I never will entirely. So all I have are accountability and self-compassion.
#neurodivergent #overstimulated #Autism #autistic #actuallyAutistic #ADHD #actuallyADHD #AuDHD #actuallyAuDHD
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I've come to understand that my main motivation to keep going at the moment is very simple: #spite.
I'm weird. Like really fucking weird. I'm #AuDHD. I'm queer. I'm also #plural (meaning it's not just me in my own fucking head). I'm weird. Like really fucking weird.
And you know what? That's *okay*. It's okay to be weird. Who is even the judge of that? Is there a "weird police"? It's being made illegal in parts of the world to be weird, but by whom? White old men.
Fuck them. Fuck them sideways. Fuck them all the ways. Fuck them. I'm very fucking weird by society's standards *and that is okay*. -Vox
#neurodivergent #neuroqueer #ADHD #actuallyADHD #Autism #autistic #actuallyAutistic #plural #oppression #supremacy @actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic
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What are you #top3 current interests?
Mine: #fermentation #gutbrainaxis #finalfantasy6pixelremaster
@actuallyautistic #actuallyautistic #actuallyadhd #audhd #neurodivergent #askingadhd #askingautistics
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Hi! I go by Marsh or some other names online. I'm here on Holograph with a somewhat personal account.
I previously only had a fandom account, but that one got mixed in with more personal posts after a while, so I made this personal account and a fandom alt when I decided to migrate. This is also why I didn't really transfer my old posts, haha. I guess this is a bit of an exercise in connecting with other things about myself besides the fiction I like.
I'm interested in non-corporate social media (like this), privacy, and FOSS. I'm curious about anarchism too. These interests led me to the fediverse, so I'll probably talk about these, though from a layperson POV. I also have my fandom interests of course, more info on https://graffitiwall.net/@maybe_zubat
I tend to boost/renote a lot of things. I'll put content warnings and alt text (for images) on my original posts, but I can't guarantee that I'll have them for posts that don't originate from me. I can put some in replies, but I won't always feel like doing it immediately.
I might speak in Tagalog too sometimes. You can ask me what I mean if you want!
I don't really post a lot of photos of myself or other things for privacy reasons, so just trust me when I say I saw something funny while walking outside or something lol
I've been formally diagnosed with ADHD, GAD, and OCD, and I tend to complain about how those affect me a lot (especially OCD). I'm looking for community, so reach out to me if you want!
Here's my Pronouns page btw: https://en.pronouns.page/@maybeitszubat
The most relevant info there is that I'm bisexual and arospec (not sure about the specifics for the latter), and I'm always hoping for more of a community here for those too.
:eoc_wave: I'm posting an intro due to the current influx. I hope you have a good time here if you're new!
#introduction #introductions
#ActuallyOCD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAnxious #bisexual #arospec
