#pixysjourney — Public Fediverse posts

#Journal of a rather worn down Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Monday, 12/10/2026).

Another too short night. About 4 hours isn't nearly enough, and it's getting harder to keep going. Because I'm not really rested when I wake up, the things I usually do during the night are taking me a lot longer, and I'm easily distracted or losing my motivation for them. But, it sas time to take care of my sweet dude, so I got up, let Koa out of his crate, and quickly fixed his meal. While he was eating, I took my meds. We went into the garden together, he did his things, I cleaned up the smelly prezzy, and er went back inside again. We headed to the couch, and Koa was a bit restless. So... I surprised him with another treat, to add to his collection. While he was busy with snacking, I was able to send an email to my sweet friend. After that, it was time to change clothes, and take the dude out for a walk.

We got back, and I fixed myself some brekkie and ate it. I got my laptop, and started working on today's blog post. I abused Gemini a bit, to make me some images to go with my blog post. It took some time, and I struggled not to get too distracted. I didn't want to break my streak, and I wanted to share a decent enough post. So I had to keep my act together. It took some time, but I was able to finish the post before Koa wanted to head out again. I even had some time to write Saturday's journal Toot, but not enough time to finish it. Koa and I went for another little walk, and I was glad to be wearing my army jacket, as there was a rather chilling wind and it was a cold night.

Back home, I wrote more on the journal Toot, and then I fixed Koa a meal. I finished the Toot and shared it in all the usual places. I really had to start working on Sunday's Toot as well, as I'd need that for Tuesday's journal blog post. I fixed myself some food, and tried to write a bit, until Koa wanted to go out again. So, that's just what we did. When we got back, I finished loading the dishwasher. I didn't start it yet, as I first wanted to wash a load of laundry. I set up the washing machine, and it started doing its thing. I gathered the vacuum cleaner, and did my best to clean the downstairs area. When I was done, the laundry was almost done as well. I started the dishwasher, and took the laundry upstairs to hang it out. Koa wasn't too pleased with all these activities...

After a bit of relaxing, it was time already to walk with Koa again. I was expecting a parcel this morning, and the coach would be on her way. So Koa and I went out, and he did his things. We got back and I had some time to relax before my appointment. Koa went all wild when the doorbell rang, and I did my best to keep him from damaging people, stuff in the house, and probably also himself. I had made a Kong with frozen yoghurt and some kibble in it. As Koa failed to calm down, I put him in the crate with the kong. He still struggled a bit, but he also tried to snack from the kong, so that was a good thing.

At some point during the appointment, the coach wanted me to contact the GP's office, to ask about my meds. I told her that I didn't have the energy, that I was too exhausted to deal with them, as I'd been trying so long and never seemed to make a positive difference, that it frustrated me and I would definitely not be able to keep calm. (this sounds very clear as a "no I can't do this", or so I thought). The coach started the call, and all of a sudden, she shoves the phone in my face telling me to explain it... I exploded! I had explained why I could not do it! All the things that made it even more difficult than a normal call would be for me. I got angry, told her that this was definitely not the way to deal with me, I can't do it definitely means that I'm really not able to do it! And I got off the couch and stormed off to the kitchen, as I was so angry. I keep explaining why things are too hard for me, and it seems to fall om deaf ears, again and again... 😢 So, it now became very clear to my coach that nope, I was not able to properly handle the situation/call. She took the phone back and finished the call. When she was done, I was still angry. Why did she put me in this position? She apologized and said that this was a clear learning moment for her. I said I hated the way that people don't take me seriously when I try to set my limits. And that things like this keep happening to me. 😢 She apologized and realized that now, indeed, she'd been a part of my problem by doing this, not part of the solution. But yeah... Ugh... She did walk Koa for me before she left to the next client. And I tried to relax a bit, as this all had worn me out even more. 😔

I watched some telly, fixed a bit to snack, and then I walked with Koa again. I fixed his meal, all three layers of them, while he was encouraging me to work faster! 😂 Koa then enjoyed emptying all the compartments, while I slowly started preparing things for relaxing and bed time. But, Koa had rested a bit, and he wanted to go out. So I threw the two deflated balls in the garden. As Koa's meal hadn't been too long ago, I sat in the garden for a while with my phone. After about ten minutes, I decided to join Koa. Maybe I could help him burn some energy... But then I did something that turned out to be a mistake 😢.

I gave Koa a third ball, his now most favorite one, the Chuckit one. He was doing zoomies through the garden, and I was cheering him on. All of a sudden, he wants to do a quick turn, but the grass mat was wet and Koa made a very bad slip. 😢 I immediately cried out, although he didn't... He tried to play some more, but his leg was painful. Which resulted in me panicking and crying. And, of course, I immediately felt guilty, because I had been challenging him a bit, like I usually do. 😢 I quickly checked his paw. And while Koa showed me that it was uncomfortable, as he pulled his leg a bit, and he licked my hand when I was "examining" his knee and ankle. I could not feel anything weird, as far as I could tell by also feeling the other paw. While sniffing, I gathered my nerves, and I called the vet. I wanted to ask if they had any info about what I could do, should check for, because I didn't want anything to be wrong with him, with his paw, and have it made worse by not taking any immediate action. The lady on the phone was very helpful and calm, which helped. I still cried for a while, blaming myself for this... 😢

I did my best to keep Koa calm, afraid that he would injure himself some more. We went to the bedroom where I tried to relax after the scare, the phone call, and the tears. It took me quite a while, and even Koa was snoozing way before I could. I eventually dozed off as well. When I woke up, I let Koa go to the garden. I went to the loo, and then Koa got his kibble, and we went back to bed. I didn't close the door of the crate, again, to see how Koa would behave. When I woke up again it was still rather early. But I really needed the loo and my brain was wide awake. I got up, saw Koa was snoozing in the open crate. I went to the loo and started our "day".

Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:

:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾

#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani

#Journal of an exhausted Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Friday, 09/10/2026).

After a few not too decent nights, I got around 6¾ hours of sleep in total this time. A wee bit more, I think, as I can't seem to find the bit of snoozing I did while watching The Mentalist on my tablet. But, I woke up around 22:30 and I was properly awake. Not all rested, but my brain was up and I had to follow. So, Koa and I got up to start our "day", which started wet again. I guess autumn 🍂 has really arrived now. Colder days & nights, more windy days, and more wetness coming from the skies.

I prepared Koa's meal, took my meds while he was eating, and then he went out for his business. I went into the rain to clean up the smelly prezzie, and then we headed to the couch. Koa was enjoying one of his smaller snacks, and I got distracted on my laptop a bit. Before I knew it, Koa was eager to head out for walkies. So, I got dressed, and we went into the rain. Holding an umbrella ☔ is rather challenging when you have a splint around your hand and thumb. But it went OK enough, just very clumsy at times. Koa and I got back home where it was warm and dry. I finished my email to my sweet friend, and then I fixed myself some brekkie.

After brekkie, I tried to finish one of my journal Toots, as I was behind with my writing. So I was glad when I was able to share Wednesday's Toot. I then focused on finishing Friday's blog post, as it was almost done. I also had an idea for Saturday's post, but first, it was time to get out for walkies again. I was hoping that the rain would be done and all...

But unfortunately, we weren’t so lucky. I had planned a little walk, but unfortunately, the walk became even shorter due to a very annoying cat! He was hissing from a distance at Koa, which of course resulted in pulling on the leash, and a loud bark. As it was way too early for Koa to be waking up the neighbors, the walk got shorter so that we could leave the stupid cat behind us. It was a bit of a bummer, as I had wanted to walk a wee bit more with the dude, but yeah, Koa’s barks would definitely continue if we tried to pass the hissing furball. Plus, if I had tried to pass it, I don’t know if I would have been able to hold Koa properly, as it was dark and wet, with leaves and stuff on the ground, so it could be slippery in spots.

We got back sooner than planned, and I started fixing some food for both the dude and myself. After we both enjoyed our meal, I tried to relax for a bit. Even though I had some sleep, I still felt like I would need to sleep for two solid days at least, to be able to catch up with all the sleep lost over the days/weeks... I was able to finish Saturday's blog post, so that was a good thing. I wanted to write Thursday's journal Toot, but I was just all done for the time being... I needed to save some energy, as there were still a few chores to do, and I'd need to drive safely to the hospital for my therapy appointments. And back again, of course. 😉

I did start a very simple cleaning of the loo's. Koa and I went out for a short walk again. And when it was late enough, I got the vacuum cleaner, and I did my best to get as much sand and hair off the floors, so it wouldn't be too messy when our friends were coming over to watch Koa. After doing the best I could, and being barked at by the dude in this crate, I was sweaty but it was done. Maybe not the best way, but all that went into the bin was not on the floor anymore. I tried to relax for a bit, walked a short round with Koa, and then we waited for our friends to arrive.

I had given my friend a key for easy entry. Up till now, she never used it! 😂 She keeps forgetting to bring it with her... Which brought a little challenge when they came to the door. Koa went wild and I could not keep him calm. My friend came in, but her son just stood there like he wanted to stay out. I tried to keep Koa with me, so the boy could enter and we could close the door. But then, Koa made a weird jump, the collar with his GPS that I was holding came loose, and Koa tried to get to the boy. I quickly hit the front door, which closed with a bang. If the boy wanted to be outside, well, now he’d had to wait until Koa got his collar back on. It took both my friend and I to keep Koa calm enough to do that. She took Koa into the living room, and I tried to get the boy inside.

The attitude he gave me when he finally got in, it triggered me. I knew that we would be reluctant to come, as last time, he almost let Koa escape because he was more interested I his phone than keeping his promises... So that time, he got to deal with his mum, who was a bit angry that he broke his promise and in doing so, almost brought danger to Koa. And he had to deal with me, and I had just experienced an awful flashback, which brought some very strong and scary emotions with it. Because he came in with an attitude, I cornered him, and had a good talk. He made a gesture than can be seen as rude, especially in the situation we got in, so the talk became a bit stronger. I knew that he didn’t want to be here to help with Koa. But all the times that he had needed my help, and I had given it to him without issues, it did mean that now, as he’s a bit older and all, he is able to help out when needed as well. And we discussed three rules, for his and Koa’s safety, and for my nerves to be less stressed... I discussed these rules later with his mum with us as well, and he seemed to be able to understand them. Apparently, he had already been given a little speech by his mum as well, because she knew how hard it would be for me to leave Koa with him, after his last interactions here...

I left for the therapy sessions, still a bit anxious. Yes, he promised. Yes, his mum is more aware now of him not being able to always keep to the promises he made. But still... I would be gone a few hours, so yeah... So many opportunities for things to go wrong... I tried to keep calm, and I arrived at the hospital in time. I had to wait for a bit, and then I had my therapy. First one, then the other. All went well, and they are pleased with the progress that I’ve made so far. When therapy was done, I drove to my parent’s house. I picked up the groceries that mum had gotten for me. When I was getting ready to leave, as I was parked without paying for it (it was 5 minutes, and it’s a hassle to do so, plus way too expensive!), my parents came home. I managed to stay clear of my dad, but mum came to the car, and we chatted for a bit. Then, I headed back home again.

Thankfully, all had gone well, and the boy and the dude had been on their best behavior. So that was very good to hear. I discussed some things with my friend, after we’d taken all the things from Skoosh. I fixed Koa’s food while we chatted about all I had seen and done, and all they did with Koa and all. I was rather tired, and my friends needed to relax a bit as well. I thanked them, and they headed out. I got everything ready to head to bed. I was really tired, so I was hoping for a good night. But yeah...

I fell asleep easily, and slept about 90 minutes. I woke up, we did our usual things, and then I wanted to get back to bed. I was restless, Koa noticed that and reacted to it. I spent a few hours in bed, being too awake, too wired... I got up, because I was driving myself nuts. I was able to grab a 45 minute snooze on the couch while watching some telly. Koa and I started our “day” in a not so usual way. Well, I should be used to starting the day feeling tired like hell, but that’s not what I meant. Still, Koa and I would try to make the best of it...

Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:

:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾

#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani

#Journal of a bläh feeling Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Monday, 05/10/2026).

I didn’t have the best sleep, less than 6 hours in total, according to my watch. I got up, cared for Koa, and I took my meds. After Koa and I were done, we headed to the couch. I got my tablet and I wrote an email to my sweet friend. When I was done, I switched clothes, so that I could take the dude for a walk. I still felt rather tired, exhausted from all the stuff that had been happening during the previous week. I needed some better sleep. Not just longer, but deeper, and more relaxing as well.

When we got back from walkies, I fixed myself some brekkie. I didn’t have a lot of motivation to write for my blog, but I needed a new post for this morning. I had one that I started a little while ago. So, I decided to work on that one. I abused the AI a bit for some extra images, I added more texts and links. It wasn’t one of my best posts, and there was use of AI in it (all honestly shared, with the prompts included – but also with links to the sites that I found while I was looking up the info I asked about). I want to write my own texts, but for some things, I have to admit that AI can be helpful. But! I would never let AI write up my whole blog! I want it to be mine, with my ideas, my experiences, my journey. I have been bullied before, about using AI on my blog. That it was a click-bait waste of space. That I should be ashamed of destroying their planet to share slop… They never looked at the posts, they never saw my emotions in the posts that I was writing at the time… They only saw an animated image that had been made with AI, so their conclusion was that my whole blog was made of slop and fake stuff…

I finished the blog post, and then Koa and I went out for walkies again. A bit shorter, because I didn’t feel too good, and Koa didn’t seem too interested in walkies. He had peed and sniffed some, and he was ready to head home again. Back home, I started writing my Sunday’s journal Toot, so that I could also finish up my journal blog post. The post was done, Koa got his meal, and I fixed myself some food as well. I finished the journal blog post, so it was all done and scheduled to be shared on Tuesday morning.

I wanted to do things… So, I lay on the couch and felt terribly exhausted. I walked Koa and waited for bestie to call. But, I got a text saying she wasn’t going to call, as she called in sick at work. So, I got out the vacuum cleaner, and noticed that the rod was short. I tried to get it back up, and the part that should keep the rod at the wanted length wasn’t working properly. It took me a bit of struggling to keep it in place. And then, when I was vacuuming, there was noise coming from the rod. So, apparently, something had been damaged. As I wasn’t the last one that had used it, I texted my friend after I was done, asking her if she noticed anything with the rod when she’d used it. If there had been any issues or something, as it had been in the cupboard since she put it there the previous week. She did say that she shortened the rod, but that there had been no issues… So, it left me with the mystery of the damaged switch thingie on the rod…

When I was done with the vacuuming, I had a wee bit of time to relax. I wanted to walk Koa in time, so we’d be done when the coach would come. I had been a bit frustrated the last few weeks… When she was linked with me, we talked about the starting time. She had let me know that 9:15 was the earliest she could do, so I was OK with that. But, for a few weeks now, it had been around 9 when she had rung the doorbell. I had the 9:15 in my head, so I always figured that if we got back from walkies around 9, I had some time to relax before the appointment. So, when she rang just after nine again, when I had not even had any time to sit down since coming home from walkies, I knew I had to talk about this. I don’t mind being ready at 9. But then I need to know that I have to be ready. When they tell me that the earliest is 9:15, I don’t expect them to be there around 9 every single time.

We discussed this, and she remembered texting me about the time. She had wondered why I was walking with Koa so late, knowing she’d come. So when I said that I had 9:15 in mind, she realized that she had been coming at a time we never agreed upon, due to her own texts… So, hopefully, things will go better after this. We discussed issues that I had with my meds, and the plan is now to get a GP appointment where we can talk about me and my need for meds, the stress the constant cutting back gives me, because I don’t have enough to get through the days OK. I wonder when she’ll be able to schedule this appointment, and I wonder if the GP will see that I am indeed an addict: to living without too many restrictions caused by pain. Pain that I don’t need to experience, if only they provide me with proper meds…

At the end of the visit, the coach offered to walk with Koa. So that was a little plus for me, since I could finally relax a bit then. They got back, and she headed on to the next client. Koa got some food, I had a snack, and we both tried to relax a wee bit. After a bit of the Mentalist on the telly, Koa and I went to the garden, where we played a bit with the balls. Then, I made Koa happier, or so I thought, as I got the nozzle and towel, and we had some water fun, as I tried to clean the grass a bit.

Koa and I went inside, and I gathered all the bits so I could fill up his Lickin’ puzzle again. Koa still thinks I am taking way too long, even though I am getting a bit faster with it… After Koa had his meal, I started preparing things for relaxing and bedtime. I felt tired enough, and was hoping to get some good sleep. Unfortunately…

It took a long time before I could doze off. I woke up about 90 minutes later, and I was wide awake. My head was too busy, my body was aching, and I felt restless. Still, I tried to fall asleep for a long time after that. When it wasn’t happening, when Koa started to get restless because he noticed I had been awake for some time… We got up to start our “day” rather early. I just hoped that I would be able to doze off a bit on the couch with some telly during the night.

Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:

:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾

#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani

#Journal of an exhausted Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Sunday, 04/10/2026).

Well, I managed to sleep for several hours. But they were a tad restless, due to the events from the previous day. And my muscles were sore, probably due to the same reason… When I woke up a little before 1am, I quickly got up. I let Koa out, and he quickly did his things while I was preparing his meal. This wasn’t too usual for him, but with all the disturbances of our routine, and with all the stuff from Saturday, I guess Koa was also affected by it. While he was eating, I cleaned up the garden. I took my meds and when Koa was ready, we headed to the couch.

I got my laptop out and started writing my reply email to my sweet friend. I was a bit thrown off, as we’d gotten up a bit later than usual, and I felt like I was “running late”. I wasn't able to finish the email before Koa let me know that he was eager to head out for some walkies. So, I did what any good servant would do: I got dressed and took the dude for a walk. I felt so exhausted, so drained... Even though I had managed to get some hours of sleep in, they weren't the best and I didn't feel rested enough when it had been time to get up again. I struggled a bit with the walk, and I hoped there would not be any hares for Koa to try to chase.

We got back home again. I finished my email and then I fixed and ate my brekkie. I had already made a Silent Sunday blog post, so I could try to focus on my journal Toot. I started it... But I struggled with it. I had written about what happened on Saturday in a Toot on Saturday late afternoon. And I had written about it to my dear friend. I still felt triggered by it, which made me hesitant to write about it again now. So... I tried to distract myself with some other things. I re-watched more of the Mentalist. I played a bit with the eraser AI tool of my Samsung phone, to try and edit out some clutter from my Roxette vinyl records. I used Gemini to help me write descriptions for several pictures. And... I finally managed to catch up with most of my notifications on Mastodon. I still have loads to read from my friend's walls. I really miss checking up on some of them, as I do enjoy their toots... The stories about their pets, about their gaming, about their lives... Like how I share my journal Toots and such, I also enjoy the bits some/most of my Friendos share.

I've barely been able to keep up with my own writings, due to the hand surgery, and all the other (health) challenges of the last few weeks/months. But now that I'm able to type a bit faster, and experience less pain and discomfort while doing so, I have some more time and energy to finally start keeping up with my notifications. And then, hopefully, with my Friendos' Toots! It was nice to read their replies to my Toots, and being able to write them some proper replies as well.

My brain kept going on with thoughts 💭 like "I should use the treadmill" and "maybe I should practice with Koa and his crate, and head upstairs to ride the bike a bit". But... I already struggled to go out for walks with the dude, so while I had the poativive attitude in my mind, I just lacked the energy to get motivated enough to actually do any of these things. Which made me feel a tad bläh, as I really miss being able to work out some. 😔

Suddenly I remembered that Skoosh had given me "low 🪫 battery" warnings for her key-fob. I had never replaced one myself, but yay for the internet. I quickly found a decent little video. When I wanted to start replacing the battery, Koa came to me, pressuring me to take him for walkies first. So, we went out and he did his things. When we got back, I went upstairs to get a new battery. I followed the video and was able to finish the job. As I've not used/needed Skoosh yet, I don't know if I've been successful. But, I followed the instructions, so hopefully Skoosh will do her thing again now without the key battery warnings.

I fixed Koa's meal, and shortly after that, I made myself some food too. I still had all these ideas of things I could be doing, but I felt so drained and weak. I hate feeling like that, but there's not much to do about it. I relaxed for a while, and then Koa and I went for a walk. We walked a bit further, and if I'd been able, I'm sure Koa would have wanted to go on longer than that... 😊 So, when we got back, I took Koa into the garden for a bit of playtime. First I took the old paper and card board to the shed. Koa took something in his mouth that I, fortunately, was able to get out again. He found a smaller piece of the glasses lens that had broken on Saturday. I put it away and then Koa and I played with his balls ⚽ for a while. When I was getting dizzy from going round through the garden, I sat down a bit. I had been bothered by my windows for a while now, they needed a bit of cleaning...

But, I'm definitely not good when it comes to cleaning, especially the windows. Still, I tried to do a "quick rinse" of three outside windows. There were stripes and I hadn't been able to reach them all the way due to not wanting to climb on anything. But... They seemed a tad cleaner, so I was OK enough with my efforts for this morning. I got to the couch and managed a bit of relaxing. I was really bummed that I couldn't find the energy to get some exercise in. I know it can help me feel better, but I do need that bit of positive energy to get me going. And I was really lacking energy of all sorts today... 😔

Koa and I went on another walk and we relaxed some more. Then we went into the garden again for a little while. I gathered his Lickin' puzzle, kibble and meat, and I filled the compartments for Koa to enjoy. While he was eating, I was preparing some things for bedtime already. I was tired and sore... I needed to relax on my bed for a while with my tablet. Koa enjoyed a nice snack while I watched an episode of the Mentalist. We went outside again, and after a while, we did get ready for bed. Koa was snoozing while I hoped to fall asleep while reading.

I dozed off for a bit, woke up again for the loo, cared for Koa, and then managed a few hours of sleep again. When I woke up, it was about an hour before our usual time. But I was awake and all, so we got up and started our "day".

Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:

:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾

#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani

#Journal of an exhausted and disappointed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Saturday, 03/10/2026).

The “day” started with our usual routine. I had gotten some sleep, but unfortunately, I still felt rather tired when it was time to get up. Koa and I did our usual things, food, meds, potty, and couch time. I was distracted with some things, so I was a bit later when I started writing my email reply to my friend. Only, there was no new email to reply to, which left me a bit worried, as that was not my friend’s usual style. But I had written most of my message when Koa was getting ready for walkies. I quickly finished my email, got out of my PJ’s, and then I took Koa for his walkies.

When we got back, I fixed my brekkie and enjoyed it. I got back to my laptop and I finished writing my Thursday’s journal toot, as I had not been able to finish it the previous day. I shared the journal and then started writing Friday’s post. When I had finished and shared that one as well, it was time to walk with the dude again. I tried to relax for a little while, until it was time to fix the dude’s meal. It was going to be a busy and long day, so I could use the rest in between the activities.

I fixed myself some food and ate it, before it was time to take Koa for another walk. My parents would be bringing Sir Barks-A-Lot™ this morning, as they had an outing. They hadn't really asked me if I were up for it, if I had energy and strength to take care of both Bas and Koa. They had just asked what time they could bring him... When I told mum that I still struggled a bit with walking just Koa, and that Koa was really dealing with his puberty, there wasn't a real decent response. I had told her that I could do several hours, but not the whole day. She then told me that they would not be back too late, as several hours would be enough for them. As I was never really asked if I were OK with it, and my comments didn't seem to matter too much, I just went along. Thinking that mum had been helping me after my surgeries and all...

Mum brought Bas and she and dad were off. The dogs immediately started behaving in a way that was not what I was OK with. Koa, being a big adolescent dude, wanting to play all the time. Bas, an 8 year old senior Dachshund, not interested in playing (and we had to be careful with Koa's enthusiasm/big paws and Bas his back). Koa was unable to relax, and every time he almost relaxed, Bas decided to make some noise, or walk towards Koa and stop near him...

I tried using the crate and the same thing happened. Koa would finally settle down, and then Bas would start barking again because he saw something move somewhere. It was driving me nuts... 😢 I wanted to walk with them separately, but they would not let me. I put Bas on Koa's baby leash, as that was the only one I could handle with my right hand, while dealing with Koa in my left. I had to correct Koa several times, as he was bullying Bas. Bas was not used to walking on a short leash, and on the right hand side, so yeah... We walked a nice little round and I was sweaty and panting 🥵 when we got back. I was hoping the boys would be able to relax now. But Koa still struggled to relax, and every time he did, Bas was making noises again. 😭

Around noon, I walked a short bit with the boys, as I could not handle more. I texted mum with some updates, letting her know that it was rather hard on me, that I was hoping they'd be in their way to pick up Bas soon again. Of course, there came no response. I texted some more updates, and no response again... I was slowly losing it, getting angry with Koa for not being able to relax. Getting pissed with Bas because he kept triggering Koa as soon as Koa did try to relax. Then, finally, mum texted they were on their way to us. Still 45 minutes to go, and it was already past 15, so Bas had been with me for over 7 hours already (which, to me, is a lot more than "it's just a few hours").

I prepared everything so mum could pick up Bas easily. But, for reasons unknown to mankind, my dad decided to come into the garden as well. And then shit went crazy, things went wrong, I got blamed (if only he'd just stayed in the car! 😡 It's not like he's helpful in any way...), I defended myself, I got scolded, I yelled back in anger because I was in pain, I was exhausted, and I hated it that I asked them to not take too long, because I wasn't up for it yet... And they left Bas with me for 8 hours! They complained when they had Koa for an hour, and that was without any feeding and walking. But I should not be such a whining person because they'd told me it would be several hours. They both know I need times, I need a schedule, and I asked for them to not stay away too long... Mum never replied to my messages until they were on their way. "Not too late in the afternoon" is definitely way before 16... But yeah, I was in a meltdown because, once again, I was being treated like a nuisance because I had asked them to respect my boundaries and wishes. And I just had enough! It's just such a fucked up thing to first demand help, and then want it their way, and not the way I was able to provide it. Because I was being unreasonable....... I exploded, and dad stormed off saying I would never see Bas again! At that moment, I had a very cruel thought, where I wished to never see him again because I am so done with him... And to be honest, I really don't need to see him anytime soon. I've been gaslighted, bullied, mistreated, and disrespected too many times now by this narcissist...

It took me some time to be able to calm down. I was angry, disappointed, in pain, and terribly sad and drained... I tried to write about it, to clear my head, to vent and rant.. 😭 I tried to relax with a favorite series in my tablet. Koa had given me all the hugs and sloppy kisses, until he finally collapsed, exhausted from this day... How I wanted to do the same. When I was done writing, I put away my phone and tablet. I got my Kobo and then managed to doze off while reading.

I woke up once for the loo. Koa moved a bit but then settled down again I went back to bed, and was able to sleep some more. When I woke up again, it was close to 1am. So I quickly got up and let Koa out. Because it was a bit late, I opened the kitchen door. I think Koa was grateful for it, as he went potty before I had been able to finish prepping his meal. But we were up, and we started our routine and "day".

Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:

:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾

#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani

#Journal of a sore, tired, and proud Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Wednesday, 30/09/2026).

After a bit of a short, restless, night, I got up a little earlier than usual. All the shit that happened on Tuesday had followed me into the night, and it just sucked all the way... But I got up, fixed Koa's meal, took my meds, and let Koa out. Then, we went to the couch. I got my tablet and tried to write my email reply to my sweet friend. 😊 I had just finished it, when Koa wanted out already. He seems to want to go out earlier and earlier, which is a bit annoying for me, as I "need" a certain amount of time to get my routine things done. I quickly got to the scale before I got dressed. Then, Koa and I went out for walkies together.

We got back, and I got my laptop and worked on my blog for a little while. I tried to write about the crap that happened on Tuesday, and I noticed that I still felt angry about how it had all happened... I fixed myself some brekkie and enjoyed it. I finished the blog post, and worked on a few others as well. Then, it was time again to get out with the dude. The new headlamp was helping from time to time, but I still need to get used to it. When we got back, I started writing my journal Toot. And that one went even wilder than the blog post, when it came to the whole Skoosh incident. I fixed Koa a meal and went back to writing the journal. When I was finally done, it had turned into one of my longest journal Toots in a while. I even thought about using some of the journal text to adjust my blog post, but I was just too tired for it. So, I was hoping to relax for a wee bit, watching some telly, and gather up some energy for the chores later that day...

So, of course Koa was ready for his walkies again... No rest for the wicked. 😂 After the walk, I fixed some food for myself 🤗, and then tried to get some chilling time. I was just getting ready for another walk with the dude when bestie called me on her way to work. So, part of the call happened while I took Koa on a walk. We went on our normal walk, instead of trying a longer one again, as I wanted to save some spoons for the crate work later this morning. When bestie had arrived we hung up and I was pushing myself to get started on finishing up the crate. After about half an hour, I was able to "kick myself off the couch", and I was gathering all the needed parts.

I had to start by taking certain screws out, replacing them with different ones. It was a bit challenging at times, as my right hand is still not back to normal (nor is it allowed to do too much yet...). I had replaced the screws and worked on putting in the panels, when I had to attach three plastic supports to the bottom plates of the crate. Getting the screws in was a b*tch, even with my new headlamp to see the area better. Of course, Koa's help didn't help me a lot either. 😂 I heard my phone, but before I got to it, it stopped. I saw my good friend had been texting me, and that the missed call came from her. Before reading the texts, I called her back, as she normally wouldn't call if it wasn't important. She sounded a bit surprised that I called back, probably because she knows how much energy it costs me to make calls. But! It was good that I did, because she had some good news. 😊 She was offering to come to us, and take Koa for a longer walk, so that I could focus on the crate. She had texted it to me earlier but since I didn't respond, she tried to call. As it was almost time for a walk with Koa, I told her I'd take him for a short one, and I was sure he would be very excited about a long walk with her.

I walked a short round with Koa, and then I decided to take a break until our friend arrived. Koa heard the voice of our friend, Koa heard her say his name, and something to do with walkies... So the dude was so excited! He didn't understand that we aren't living in "Star Trek times", and that we can't use a transporter to beam us over. 😂 Nope, our friend needed to get ready, get to the car, drive over... So it would take 30-45 minutes, or so I guessed. I had turned on my phone's sound so I would not miss her texts. As soon as I got one, Koa heard it and he got all excited. 😂 But it took a few minutes before I could open the door and let him rush to her. He was so excited! After some cuddles, our friend took him for a walk, and I resumed the work on the crate. What I hadn't realized was that our friend was really spoiling Koa! While I was sweating and cursing over the screws and all, she had taken Koa to the Herperduin! 😅

The most difficult part of the crate was one of the last things: the crate was on its side, and I had to get the other side on top of it. Not just getting the four corners lined up properly, but also all the panels and the two back bars. As soon as something fit, something else refused to do so as well. It took me quite some time and effort to finally be able to have it all fit! When the screws were tight, I was able to rotate the crate and add the last part: the door. Getting the bolts on was another little challenge with my bad hands. For the last one, I had to sit on the floor to be able to reach it properly. So... When the door was done, the crate was finished, and there were just a few more tasks before I could finally relax. The first one was to get my big behind off of the floor again! 😂 Our friend texted that she and Koa were getting closer to the car, so I felt I should prepare as much as I could before they'd get back.

I was taking off all the stuff that had been on the old wire crate when they got home. After cuddles with the panting dude, I folded the crate and took it out. What we found after that... 😇 So much hair... And I had cleaned it before Koa's arrival. But, I admit, not after that... Something with a herniated disc and a hand surgery getting in the way of any kind of proper cleaning. 🫣 My friend offered to help me out with the vacuuming, as my stomach was rather upset from me bending over too much this morning. When the corner was cleared out and cleaned as best as possible, we had the task of getting the big, heavy, crate into it. After some measuring, some moving, some turning... The crate had been settled! It's not perfect yet, but that's due to the available space for the door. So, still some things to try out later...

My friend got persuaded for one short walk with the dude before she headed back home. Mind you, it was not me who did the begging puppy eyes! 😂 When they got back, I thanked her for all her help, and she headed back home. I tried to relax for a bit, while waiting for a parcel. When that had been delivered, Koa and I got ready to head to bed. First, some relaxing with a series on my tablet, and then... Snoozing... Koa and I were both rather tired, and er both got some good sleep. One potty break, but just for me, and some kibble for the dude. When I woke up again, it was time to start our "day". About 8 hours of sleep in total, not too bad at all...

Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:

:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾

#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani

#Journal of a Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: in meltdown mode (Tuesday, 29/09/2026).

The “day” had started with a slight headache, a sore lower back, and about 7 hours of sleep in total. It wasn’t too bad, overall, and Koa and I had begun with our usual routine. I fixed him his meal, took my meds, he went out for his business, and we got to the couch. Well, I got on it, and Koa found one of his chewies, and got all busy on it.

I took out my laptop, and after an update of Tutamail, I was able to start my reply to my sweet friend. I was almost done when Koa got impatient, so I wrapped it up, got dressed, and headed out with the dude. We made our usual round. When we got back, I fixed myself some brekkie and ate it. Then, as I had already finished today's blog post yesterday, I was able to start writing my journal Toot.

I was able to finish Monday's Toot, before Koa was eager for walkies again. So we went out again, as his master's wishes are my commands. 😉 I uploaded my journal to the usual places when we got back. After that, it was time to fix the dude some food. I put away the laptop and tried to relax with some Rizzoli & Isles. I used my phone to try and finish up on some of the AI alt texts I had been working on for my screengrab pictures. After some time, I had enough of it for a bit, and I decided to fix myself some food.

When I was done eating, I had hoped for some more relaxing time. But, yeah, of course Koa wanted to head out again. As it was still dark, we went for a short walk again. I tried to relax a bit after that, and I felt good about having been able to finish up some of the typing things, and several of the alt texts, before the morning had really started. Being able to type a bit better makes such a difference. 😊 I was hoping to be able to be ready when mum was coming over. Part of me was a bit anxious, and maybe a little bit excited, with the prospect of trying to drive my white 🤍 gall (well, she would be white if I would give her a proper shower 🚿) again.

Mum texted that she was on her way, so I did my best to prepare for her. I cleaned up some things here and there. And I remembered to try and clean Koa's bowls, as they're still a bit challenging with my hands. I had put together all the recycling ♻️ bottles and cans, so mum could take them with her to Germany to get them refunded. I still feel a bit bad for letting mum deal with all of that, hopefully soon I can join her again... But at least I've been drinking more from bigger bottles and less from cans, so that should make it easier for mum to put them all in the refund-machine. Depending on how things go, I'll add the refunds in Koa's piggy bank 🪎 for the vet or other costs that need to be covered. I used to use the bottles and cans money for Arwen's funds, then they went into the puppy jar, and now Arwen's saving tin became Koa's... Passing it on from one great dog to the next.

Anywhoooo... 😇 When mum arrived, I tried to keep Koa calm until she had a steady spot. We keep trying to train Koa to keep "low", or "laag" in Dutch, which means he needs to be on all fours in order to get pets/cuddles/attention. He's getting a tiny bit better, at times, but he's always so enthusiastic when (friendly) people come to visit! 🥰 Mum had not finished her coffee yet, when Koa started to get very restless. We decided to go out for some walkies first, which was what Koa needed. Two big pees and a poop later, we were back, and mum was able to finish her coffee. ☕

We got ready to head to Cuijk. The plan was for me to drive. First to Lidl so I could get some groceries. Then the physio. And on the way back a pit-stop at Plus for some more groceries, and to pick up the DHL parcel from the vault thingie. It was the new headlamp, which would be very welcome for our walkies in the dark. We loaded up Skoosh, we got in, I pressed the start button and... Only half the bits booted up. There was a weird sound and things were slowly fading away... 😢 The battery had not survived not being used for 4½ weeks. 😭 And this... Caused a major (autistic) meltdown. Angry that it didn't work. Anxious of needing to get assistance, and of not being able to use the car. And a bad flashback to a little over two years ago, when I had needed Toyota assistance and it went like crap! (more on that in this part of my journal blog from that week: https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2024/07/09/journal-week-27-july-2024/#Thursday).

It took some time for me to get the ranting out of my system. I told mum that last time I'd needed the assistance, it went to hell. Mum recalled that day, as she had helped me that day to pick up Arwen from the way too hot car while we had waited for so long... Mum offered to call, which I was grateful for. So, getting through the AI bot of it all, giving all the necessary information, the bot said we'd be connected to assistance near us within a few seconds. Well, we did get something, but not even a person asking us to hold, it immediately went to the most awful sounding "waiting music". Those things drive me crazy, as they sound so crappy that it hurts my ears. I had woken up with a headache, and the meltdown had not made it any better, so this was just another trigger! Heck, even mum said it was damned awful... It took 6 minutes for someone to finally get on the line. I heard a foreigner's male voice, which immediately triggered my previous experience. Which was so terrible... 🤬

That dude made me repeat myself over and over, and he kept calling me "little missy", and he promised me help which would take an hour to get at my location. I waited for 90 minutes, in a very hot car, with a phone battery going near empty, and with an elderly dog, and no one had come. I called again and was fortunate to get a decent man on the line. And... That "little missy" dude had never contacted the assistance company in my neighborhood. Heck, the street names I had spelled out phonetically three times, they weren't even written down! So yeah... When I heard a voice that reminded me of that scumbag that let me and an elderly dog in the heat of the summer sun... I got triggered.

The man started to ask questions about things he should already have on his screen, as that's what the AI bot was/is for! When he then continued to let us answer everything at least three times, saying he couldn't hear us... TRIGGER! As it was exactly like what happened two years ago! It would not surprise me if it was the same asshole! When I had repeated my address again, and he couldn't hear me again, I raised my voice! Maybe then he could hear me! I had it with the rudeness... It had started with having to spell out the license plate three times. That info should already be on his screen... But, we gave it three times, and that then should have given him all the customer info. He asked the issue. I said that the car had not been used several weeks, and that the battery had died. His reply was a very demeaning one, in a nagging tone, saying "batteries die if you don't use the car, you should know that, it's not good for it". This annoyed me, because I knew this, that's why I said it as the issue and the reason. But instead of just moving onward after I told him the issue (which he was able to hear!), he had to snarl at me first, before asking where the car was located. I told him it was at home, assuming he had that info on his screen (as it's linked to my customer info and license plate). Still, I had to repeat the address three times and then he disconnected...

Even mum was pissed because the way he had talked to us was borderline harassment... 😔 I called the garage where Skoosh was bought and where she's under maintenance. I got a very sweet lady on the line, and she was super helpful. We made a plan, and then I was calm enough to head to physio. We were a bit too early, as I had no energy to visit Lidl first. There was another lady waiting for her appointment. Bas talked to her a bit, and then she told me she’d take my spot, so I could use hers and not have to wait too long. I guess Bas told her about my issues, and wanted to save me some time so I could try to get Skoosh up and running again sooner.

I got a decent massage and then we headed back to Herpen again. I got my parcel and some groceries before we went home. Mum tried to call the service line twice, and could not get through. First, the AI got into an error loop, so she tried again. Then, we were supposed to get connected, and we immediately got thrown out again… So, we called the kind lady at the garage, and told her that we weren’t able to get connected to the assistance folks. She was amazed by how things were messed up today, and then she promised me to get it sorted. She was almost done with lunch and after that, she’d get the help we needed. Within 15 minutes, I received a text that assistance was alerted and would be with me in 60 minutes. The kind lady called me back, and I told her I’d gotten the text. I thanked her again and started the wait. Within 30 minutes my phone rang, and a very kind gentleman told me he was at the parking already. 5 minutes later, Skoosh was up and running again, but… I had to keep her on for at least 30 minutes.

I had thanked the man, gotten Koa on his leash, and we drove to the garage to get some air in Skoosh’s tires. Then, we went to Schaijk to pick up my meds. I tried to take the longer route back, so when we got to the parking, Skoosh had been running for 35 minutes. Hoping that this would indeed be enough, I parked her. I was terribly exhausted, but also still rather wired. I prepared everything for bed. Watched a series first, and then tried to doze off with my book. I managed to get some sleep, but I had very weird dreams, and didn’t feel too rested when I got up again to start our “day”.

Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:

:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾

#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani

#Journal of a slightly relaxed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Sunday, 27/09/2026).

After all the stress and “excitement” of the previous day, it had taken a bit of time to be able to doze off. In the end, I did manage to get about 7 hours of sleep in total, according to my watch. I was hoping to get an easy, relaxing day. But we don’t always get what we want and/or hope for… When I woke up, it was time to quickly prepare Koa’s meal, so after that, he could go potty. While Koa was eating, I took my meds. We went outside together, he did his things, and then we got to the couch.

Even though Koa still had some of his rawhide snacks, the dude must have checked the calendar and seen that it was Sunday… As he was all over me to get him a tasty new treat! Of course, he had just seen me clean up all the snacks that came in on Saturday afternoon. I had not cleaned them up yet, due to the whole wasp incident. So, I gave in to his “demands”, and made Koa a happy dude again by providing him with a new snack. Which meant that he now had one new snack, one still rather new one, and one that was halfway eaten. I don’t care how much he’s gonna beg me in the future, he is not getting any new big treats until at least one of them has been enjoyed to the very end.

While Koa was busy with his snack, I wrote an email to my sweet friend. After I finished, I got dressed, and then Koa and I went out for walkies. When we got back, I fixed myself some brekkie, and then got to working on my Sunday’s blog post. I edited a snap of the moon that I’d taken on Saturday. When the blog post was done, I started to write a bit for Monday’s blog post. I had written some things to my friend that I wanted to share in my blog as well. So I copied the bits I was interested in, edited them for my blog, and then worked a bit on some AI image generating/editing. Monday’s blog post wasn't done yet when Koa wanted walkies again, but I had made a good start, and had some fun (and frustrations) with the AI bits.

Walkies were OK enough and when we got back, I started writing Saturday’s blog post. I fixed some food for the dude and tried to write some more. But I got hungry, so instead of writing, I started fixing some food. As I wasn’t in the mood to write my journal toot, I was abusing the AI instead, to finally create more alt texts for the screengrabs that I’d made the previous few days. There were still many pictures to go, and I went at it one by one, so that I could add additional info to the snaps when appropriate. It was a slow process, and I still had some snaps to get to when my food was ready.

After food and some more snaps, Koa was all ready for walkies again. He really seems to enjoy them, and I usually don’t mind walkies at all (especially when the weather is OK for them). But I do like to have some time in between them when I can do my things and relax a bit. I know that eating and writing for my blog and playing with AI is not that hard work. But sometimes, I just want to lay down on the couch and do nothing, except watch some telly, for a while. So when I finally get to the point of laying down, and Koa comes to “bother” me with something again, it can annoy me quite a bit. But, I do know that he’s a puppy, and he needs his attention, cuddles, playtime and all that. I guess that I’ve just been so used to Arwen, the elderly gall, who had our routine even better than I had it at times. I need to adjust to having an energetic young dude, which has been more challenging due to my back and hand issues.

We headed out for walkies and when we got back, I got some of that couch time in. I used my phone to create some more alt texts while I was watching Rizzoli & Isles. After some time, Koa got a bit restless again. As the weather was slowly improving, we went to the garden where we played with the balls. While going through the garden, I could smell that the artificial grass needed a hosing down again. So, even though the walkies and ball time had taken quite some spoons already, I got the towel and nozzle and… Koa went nuts!

I love how he enjoys playing with the water-hose, even though I need to be careful of him coming close to jumping me over at times. But things went well enough, probably also because I didn’t try to film it this time (as this does add some extra difficulties). After playing for several minutes, I hoped that the grass would be a bit cleaner again, and it was time to try and dry off the dude. I did my best to get the towel moist and keep my pants as dry as possible. When I was done with the toweling, and I almost needed a towel myself due to being a tad sweaty, Koa went to the grass and let go of a major wee! The rascal!

I gave Koa some kibble and got myself something to eat as well. We tried to relax for a bit, but it didn’t take too long before Koa wanted walkies again. I had been aiming for short walkies, so Koa convinced me that I needed the steps and got me to walk a longer round. Which was nice enough, but also had me worn out by the time we came back. So, of course, I was hoping to get some rest on the couch. I had a bit of time until I had to start filling Koa’s layered food puzzle. But, I didn’t get too much time to relax, as it seemed all the walkies and playing had made Koa hungry again. Then again, we was/is a Lab, they’re always hungry! Haha…

Under pressure of a very impatient doggo, I measured the meat and kibble. I took it to the couch, so I could sit while trying to fill up all the compartments of the puzzle as fast as I could. It’s still a bit of an exercise to me, which took me about 13 minutes to finish this time around. I am glad, though, that it also takes Koa a bit of time as well to empty out all the compartments again… After he had his meal, I finally got a bit of relaxing in. But, my body wasn’t too pleased with the couch. I checked the clock, and even though I ran out of spoons, I found a few knives that helped me to take Koa out for one more walk. A short one this time, but still, it was a walk.

I prepared everything to get ready for bed. Not to sleep yet, but to relax on it with my tablet with a series on. Koa got a little snack to keep him occupied, and we spent some time relaxing. When Koa was done with his snack and he had a bit to drink, he wanted to go outside again. So, we went out, and I was surprised to see Koa take a leak this time. I took my meds and this time we did get ready for sleepy times. Unfortunately, I wasn’t as lucky as Koa, who dozed off within minutes.

As my brain was still rather wired, I used the energy to finish my journal toot from Saturday. After I had uploaded it, I got my Kobo and hoped for some sleep. But, instead of sleep, I managed to read a bit… Around 17:15, I took Koa out but he didn’t do anything. He just wanted to get back inside and get some kibble before snoozing some more. This time I was able to fall asleep. When I woke up again, it was just after midnight and time to get up and start our routine. I got about 6 hours of sleep, so hopefully this would be enough to start our “day” and make it a good one.

Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:

:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾

#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani

#Journal of a relaxed Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: ...until the end of our “day” (Saturday, 26/09/2026).

When I woke up, I could not believe it! I had actually gotten quite a bit of sleep, real and decent sleep. But, because of that, I also had to hurry up to get up, feed Koa, and let him out for potty. Because Koa doesn’t go potty until after his meal, for reasons unknown to me. I got him his meal, took my meds, and then we went out. Koa did all his things and after that, we headed to the couch together. Koa got one of his chewies and started on it, while I got my tablet to start writing an email reply to my sweet friend.

I was almost done with my email when Koa started to get anxious to go out for walkies. I quickly finished the email, as I was so close to ending it. Then, I did manage to jump on the scale before I got dressed. I was surprised to see the numbers on the scale, as I had believed the previous time I used it, it must have been wrong… Koa and I went out, and he was able to get his sniffs in, and get other things out. 😉 When we got back, I fixed myself some brekkie and enjoyed it.

After brekkie I started working on Saturday’s blog post. It was a very personal post to write, mostly because I was talking about the worst week of my life. I have experienced so many things, and while there are definitely good things among them, it's the traumatic events that haunt you the strongest and longest. 😢 I had just finished the text of the post, and wanted to start working on the featured image, when Koa was very interested in going out for walkies again. So, out for walkies we went, again...

When we returned, I was able to create the image and finish the blog post. I fixed Koa some food and grabbed myself a little something to eat as well. I worked on Friday's journal Toot and was able to finish it. It had become quite a long one, so by the time I was done, Koa was eager to stretch his paws once more. Which meant I had to put on my shoes and make the dude a happy one. While we were out and about, I got a crazy idea and tried a little longer walk. It went OK enough, but then...

There was a very dangerously looking "electric sheep" (a robot mower) making its rounds through an open garden. Koa refused to continue, full in awe of the thing that was coming closer and moving away, again and again. It took me quite a bit of effort to convince Koa it was safe to keep on moving forward. By the time Koa finally walked normally again, he saw a cat, so... The next little challenge of strength! I can't wait to be able to use my right hand again, but it's lost quite a bit of its muscles/strength. (Another reason why I really hope that Koa will be able to relax properly in his new crate, once it's finally finished... I really want to be able to start hitting the gym again... Arwen the almighty knows I need it 😇 - while I don't believe in God as they're known, I do believe there is some entity, "something" special, out there... 🐾). Then, when we were a bit further, there was someone with a dog that was very interesting... All in all, when we finally got home, I was beat!

After a wee bit of relaxing, I started a load of laundry. While that was going round and round 😉, I managed to get the normal vacuum cleaner out. I crated the dude and started the sucking hard work 😂. I usually struggle with vacuuming, due to my back and hip, but with the added hand issue now... By the time I was done I needed a towel and cold drink. Koa was happy as I was finally letting him out again. After a bit of cooling down, I took the laundry upstairs to hang it on the rack to dry. Koa complained a bit about him being downstairs on his own, but after some whines, he seemed OK and went back to the living room to relax.

I got back down and wanted to lay down on the couch with some telly. But I guess Koa still had some energy left as he kept whining and trying to get my attention. I gave up on rest and Koa and I played in the backyard for a while with his two balls. And, as I smelled the artificial lawn in the back area, where Koa does most of his peeing these days, and the weather was good enough, I made Koa even happier. Or so I'd like to think, as it took me some more energy (and it was already low since the longer walk and chores). We had a little water fun, and I tried to get enough water in the back, to hopefully rinse off some of the pee/smell. When I was done, and had tried to towel off the dude, my pants were as moist as the towel! 😂 I had to wait for a parcel delivery that afternoon, but I was hoping to relax a bit on bed with my tablet before that.

So I changed into my PJ's as I needed something dry and comfy to wear. We went to the bedroom where I watched an episode of Rizzoli & Isles and scrolled a bit on my phone. After some time, Koa wanted to go out again. As he had been drinking some more, I thought he wanted a wee. We went to the garden and Koa went around sniffing and all. As it was getting time for the delivery, I was a bit distracted, as I kept an eye out for a while van as well. When I noticed Koa was trying to get some flying animal in his mouth, I was too late and it already got him. 😢 Koa didn't yelp and the wasp was still alive when it came from Koa's mouth. I killed the beast and made sure that Koa couldn't get to it anymore. But the way Koa behaved, I knew it had gotten him somewhere.

With some effort, I was able to see that there was a tiny bit of the wasp'a stinger in his upper lip. I tried to call my neighbor, hoping she could help me to get it out safely. But she didn't answer so I got the tweezers and hoped for the best. Koa was struggling, overwhelmed by the sensation he was experiencing in his lip. I told him to hold still, as managing tweezers with my right hand was already hard enough when he wasn't moving. Then, all of a sudden, he relaxed for a short while and... I got the bit of wasp out! 😁 I called my mum to check on what to do next. I had heard about wasp stings in dog's mouths being dangerous to them, but I had no first hand experience (fortunately). Mum told me to call the on-call emergency weekend vet, and ask for their advice.

I was stressing out, so worried that I might need to take Koa to the vet for an antihistamine injection, which would also mean having to wait for mum to drive us there... So having to make the call to the vet, not knowing which one would be on call... It was very hard 😔. Fortunately, the vet I got on the line was very calm and patient, and he explained everything properly to me. With the new info I thanked him and hung up. I was just calling mum back with the update, when I saw my neighbor calling me. I hung up with mum and called the neighbor back. She wasn't home at the moment, but seeing that I rarely call her, she was worried about the reason. I explained it to her and she wished Koa and I luck, hoping that it would not get too bad.

The parcel arrived and I kept an eye out on Koa's lip/snout. It seemed to stay at its normal size, so when the "hour was up" and Koa was still his crazy self, I was very grateful to inform mum and some friends that we didn't need to visit the weekend vet. 😅 Koa and I got ready to head to bed, but my body and brain were too wired for me to "just" go to sleep. I watched some more Rizzoli and when I felt more at ease, I switched to my Kobo. I dozed off for about an hour. Then I woke up for the loo, so I took Koa out for a wee as well (not that he did anything). After a bit of time, I dozed off again. I woke up a wee bit when I tried to turn around, and then quickly fell asleep again.

When I woke up for the last time, it was time to get up and start our "day". I quickly fixed Koa's meal so he could eat ASAP. Since he won't go potty before his first meal, and I always know that he needs to pee and poop. So we quickly started our routine and I hoped that my 7 hours of sleep (in total) would be enough for this new day. 😊

Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:

:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾

#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani

#Journal of a very tired Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Friday, 25/09/2026).

It had taken me way too long to be able to fall asleep. I finally managed to get a few hours in, but waking up with less than 5 hours in total, after getting less than 5 hours the previous night as well... It was getting to me. My body was even more sore, and my head felt like I had been headbanging against a concrete wall for quite some time. I didn't have a headache, not really, but it was hard to focus on things. It felt a bit like a mix of a headache and a brain fog, and I didn't like it at all. Still, Koa had done a great job in getting some sleep, and now it was time for me to care for the dude so he could do his things.

I got up, quickly fixed Koa's meal, so that he could go potty right after that. I still don't understand why he never really wants to do anything when I take him out around 17-18. I don't get why he thinks he needs to hold it for so long, when I am providing him the opportunity to relieve his bladder/bowels during our "night". And, when we get up, he always wants his meal before he will go out into the garden for potty. Knowing this about him makes me try my best to quickly fix his food, so that he can follow it up with his "garden work", as I feel like he must be on the verge of bursting open when he finally goes to do his things.

While Koa was eating, I took my meds and got my bodywarmer. We went outside together, and I was preparing the "wrapping paper", aka the doggy bag, so I could wrap/clean up the prezzie that Koa was bound to present me with. I cleaned up, and we went back inside again. I took one of the bones that Koa had previously enjoyed, but I had taken it away for the night, and gave it back to the dude. He started his enthusiastic gnawing while I got my laptop and started writing an email reply to a sweet friend.

I managed to finish the email, as my typing is starting to get a bit faster again, and then I quickly changed my clothes. Koa was eager to head out for walkies, and as you know, his wish is my command (when it's a reasonable one 😉). We had our walkies. Ah, how I miss my headlamp as Koa is always on the look/sniff for things to taste/eat. I managed to get most out of his mouth again, having no idea what it was that he put in it. We got back again, and I fixed some brekkie and ate it. I had already started working on today’s blog post while I was in bed and unable to sleep. So, finishing up the post didn’t take too much time. Although the little editing for the featured image was a bit of a thing. I think I am getting a bit better at it, but I always feel like I should be able to “do even better”… Which means that it takes a little time before I am satisfied enough.

After the post had been scheduled, and yes, I double checked after almost losing my 6-year long daily posting streak, I wanted to start writing my Thursday’s journal toot. But, my brain was a bit too distracted, and it wanted to do something else first: start working on abusing the AI to help me with alt texts for the screengrabs from Wednesday. I know I can do it in a batch, just enter some info and let it run. But, I chose to work with them, one by one, so I could add additional info to the prompts with every screengrab. This way, the texts that come out feel a bit more personal, more in-depth, than just the generic “Labrador adolescent pup playing with a ball”. It does mean that it takes a lot more time. But, it’s worth it. I suck at writing the texts myself, being unable to set the right focus to describing my snaps. So, even though many people hate the AI, for me it’s a good help to do something that I am unable to do on my own.

There were 41 snaps in the first batch of screengrabs. I was halfway when Koa let me know that it was time for walkies again. So I saved what I had, and then we got ready to head out. I remembered to pull Koa away from the spot where he’d been snacking during the previous walkies. He wasn’t too pleased, as it seemed he was hoping for another try and tasting the things there… We got back home again, and I worked through some more snaps before it was time to fix Koa’s meal. The dude got his food and I was able to finish up the first batch. After that, I started writing my journal toot, as I wanted it to be done today. I hate being behind every time. So now that I am improving a bit on my typing again, I should be able to finish up the journal bit before the day was over.

I finished the toot, uploaded it to all the usual places, and then it was almost time to walk with the dude again. It was light out, which meant we could do the other round that Koa had been eager to walk. We used to walk it in the early morning, but as it’s a darker path without any lamps, and I don’t have a working headlamp at the moment, I don’t want to walk there until it’s light enough. We had a nice round, although it’s still challenging when Koa sees other people and/or dogs. His focus goes to them too much, and I keep trying to correct him so that his focus will get back on me. This is one of the reasons I don’t let him off leash yet, and also why I invested in the GPS tracker. While the tracker will show me his location, it won’t keep him safe from traffic (or dogs that will attack other dogs).

We got back from walkies, and I needed to relax a bit. Mum had replied to my text saying she would come earlier so I could shower. I wasn’t sure I could do it safely on my own yet. So while I may not need help, it was good to know there was help in case I did need it. I prepped the bathroom so that I could “jump” in the shower when mum had arrived and settled. It still took a little time before mum was coming our way. I tried to relax a bit with some Unforgettable on the telly. When mum was on her way, I opened the gate for her, so she could easily come in. She was bringing me some groceries so I wanted to help her a bit. I kept Koa inside, even though he was going nuts when he noticed someone behind the gate.

Koa was all happy when mum opened the kitchen door. We tried to keep him down/low/on all 4’s. He knows he’s not allowed to jump, and he is getting better with me, but with others… He’s just so damned excited that it is very hard to get him to stop jumping. We took the groceries inside, I cleaned them up, and mum settled on the couch with her series on the telly. I managed to take a shower well enough. Getting dressed was a tad more challenging, getting the clothes on properly with 1½ hands over slightly moist skin. But, I did it! When I was all dressed and done, we had to get ready to head to Nijmegen for my hand physio appointment.

We got there in time, I quickly got from the car, and mum drove off with Koa to their home. I signed up, went to the right department, and abused my phone a bit while I was waiting to be called in. The PT was ready for me a bit earlier so she called me in and we got to work. We discussed all I had done, how the exercises were going, how much pain/discomfort I was experiencing. She measured several bits of my hand: how far this could bend this way and that. And, when compared to a few weeks ago, I was making quite a bit of decent progress. We discussed new exercises, we practiced some of them and the older ones, and then it was time for me to head home again.

I had to wait a little while as we were done earlier due to starting earlier. But, with Koa’s GPS tracker, I knew when they were close and I had to go outside to get in the car ASAP. There had been a car waiting to the left side for a while. As there was an open spot on the right side, I decided to wait for mum and Koa there. Just as mum was about to pull up, the old lady in the waiting car on the left decided to pull up and head to the right side to wait there. She was very slow, and seemed a tad nervous, as she was so busy looking to one side, she barely missed a safety post on the other side. When she finally found “a better spot”, there was enough space for me to get into the car and for mum to go around the old lady. Why she had been waiting on the other side for several minutes and why she decided to cut mum off and slowly go to the other side… I have no idea. It was just a bit annoying, as I had wanted to get in the car and go.

We arrived back in Herpen safe and sound. Mum walked a bit with Koa around the field, while I was busy fixing his meal. After he finished and mum had helped me with something, we heard a loud whistle. As the kitchen door was open, Koa bolted to the gate! That whistle could only mean one thing: cuddles with the neighbor!!! We chatted a bit, and I was hoping Koa would not run off as he was off leash and all excited. Koa got his cuddles in and mum got ready to head back home. After a few minutes, the neighbor headed home again. I had a little snack, and then we got ready to head to bed.

I relaxed with an episode of Unforgettable. Koa and I went out, but he wasn’t interested in doing anything. We headed back, I gave Koa some kibble and a bit to drink, and we got to bed. And… I dozed off while reading! I woke up once, visited the loo, took Koa out for a wee (he didn’t do anything this time either), and we got back inside. Koa got some more kibble and some water before we went back to sleep. When I woke up again, I could not believe my eyes! I had slept for several hours! And, in total, about 8:42 according to my watch. I guess I really needed it. And, Koa allowed it, which was awesome. So, we quickly got up and started our “day”.

Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:

:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾

#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani

#Journal of a slightly sore and tired Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Thursday, 24/09/2026).

I struggled to get some decent sleep. I had dozed off OK enough, when noise from a riding lawnmower woke both Koa and I up. It was loud, and it seemed to take ages. I closed the window, went outside with Koa for a bit, and then tried to get back to sleep. But I was restless and unable to doze off. When the noise seemed to have ended, I opened up the window again. It still took me some time to finally catch some sleep. So when it was time to get up again, I had slept a little less than 5 hours in total, broken hours, and I felt rather sore and tired. But, it was time to get up and care for the dude, as he had behaved very well during our night time.

I quickly fixed his meal and took my meds while he was eating. We went outside for his potty business. When he was done, we both got to the couch. I tried to write my reply email to my sweet friend, but Koa was being a bit restless and annoying. I tried to distract him by offering a nice little snack. This helped for a while, and I had almost finished the email when Koa informed me that it was walkies time.

I hadn’t been able to properly use the scale in quite some time. Last time I tried was at the start of the month. But because I wasn’t able to use the handlebar, it didn’t measure properly. Now my thumb is able to carefully hold the bar again, I decided to try it out. I was worried about my weight being through the roof. But, when I got my measurements, it showed me that I had lost a little over 2kg since the start of the month! I didn’t believe it… Unfortunately, it also showed how much my muscles were “degrading”, and that saddened me a bit as I had worked hard on building up some muscles (before all things went Koa and all).

When I was dressed, Koa and I headed out for a short walk. He did his things, got his sniffs, tried to snack naughty things… And then we got back home again. I finished my email, fixed brekkie and ate it, and then I started writing on my journal toot from Tuesday. I had already finished a blog post for today, so I had more time to spend writing my journal. I finished the toot, and uploaded it to the usual places. I started writing Wednesday’s toot, when it was time to take the dude out for walkies again.

We had a good walk and when we got back, I fixed some food for my boy. I wanted to finish my journal toot, but my hands were a bit tired after all the typing and the walkies. So, I saved my progress and tried to watch a bit of telly. After an episode of Found, I "fired up" the (electric 😉) oven, and I put in a simple pizza. While it was "cooking", I added some dates to edited snaps from the previous day. I enjoyed my pizza and Koa even allowed me a bit of time to let it settle down before he wanted another walk.

It was getting light out, so we were able to walk the little longer walk, which pleased the dude a lot. He got quite a bit of sniffs in, and emptied his bladder. While he's getting more interested in the smells of others, but isn't really marking yet, and I've also not seen him lift one of his hind legs yet. So while he's definitely in his puberty zone, there are still a lot of stages that he has ahead of him...

We got back home again, and I was exhausted. I had a short sleep, but there were also more dogs around during the walk, and Koa still can't "just" keep going along with me. He needs to check them out, no matter how far away, until he can't see them no more. And, some people think it's fun for their dog to "socialize" with mine. When I tell them it's hard for me at the time, due to my hand, some act on that. Most will just keep letting their often small dogs on the roll-out leashes run around, because "they need to say hello". Ugh... So when we got home, I felt like I had done quite a bit of a workout for my left leg hand, arm, and back. I was glad when I had a bit of time on the couch, especially when Koa didn't jump on me to claim more of my attention.

I was able to finish Wednesday's journal Toot, and I shared it on Masto and added it to my blog post and journal. I couldn't get too comfortable on the couch, and Koa was getting a bit restless. So, I gathered my last spoons and took Koa and the two balls into the garden. We played for a while, and I smelled the artificial lawn. This meant that Koa was going to be spoiled even more! I got the nozzle and towel. As soon as Koa noticed, he started bouncing like Tigger (from Winnie the Pooh) on illegal drugs! 😂 I managed to give the lawn my best "hosing down", while not being jumped upon by the crazy dude. When I was done with all the activities, Koa was a bit disappointed. But I was dead, especially after trying to dry off the dude, while he tried to "help" me. My pants were as moist/wet as the towel was!

I really needed some rest now, so I took off the wet pants and put on my PJ's. I prepped the bedroom a bit so that Koa and I could relax for a while. I sat in the garden for a bit, while Koa was playing with his deflated ball, and drying up a bit with the sun on his fur. When he got tired of it, we went to the bedroom. He got a nice snack to enjoy, while I watched an episode of Found on my tablet. Fortunately, Koa allowed me to relax a bit. After the episode ended, I got up again, and saw that it was time to start preparing another nice treat for the dude: his Lickin' food puzzle.

It took me about 15 minutes to fill up all the compartments. I started with the meat, and then went on with the kibble. Koa thought I was taking way too long... 😂 When he finally was allowed to "solve the puzzle", I was glad that it took him some time to clean out all the little filled bits. While he was busy licking and turning the layers, I slowly prepped things for bedtime. I wanted to watch another episode of Found, let out Koa in the garden for a while after that, and then hopefully try to sleep some.

While I was watching the episode, I dozed off for a bit. But Koa woke me up again before it was finished. We went into the garden, where I sat for about 10 minutes so Koa could do his things before bedtime. When he didn't seem too interested, I went inside and did the last preparations. Koa came inside too, and we got ready for bed. It didn't take Koa too long to doze off. I, on the other hand, was not that fortunate. I did manage to finish the book I was reading. But I would have preferred to get a few more hours of sleep in

In the end, I managed to get some sleep, but it was less than 5 hours. Then, it was time to get up again, and start our new "day". Second day with less than 5 hours of sleep... Hope it will go well enough. 😊

Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:

:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾

#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani

#Journal of a bit tired Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Wednesday, 23/09/2026).

After a broken and way too short night, Koa and I got up to start our new “day”. I quickly fixed his food, because he wants to eat first before he goes potty. And for some reason, even though I always let him out between 17-19, depending on when I wake up for my loo break, he doesn’t go potty a lot during the minutes that we spend outside. For some reason, he either things he needs to hold it, or maybe he just wants to go back to the crate as he’ll get some kibble before we try to snooze some more. In the beginning, he went potty while I fixed his meal. But now, even with the door open, he’ll go out but do nothing until after he’s finished his meal. While Koa was eating, I took my meds. Then, I went outside with him, because Koa usually leaves me a smelly prezzie to wrap up and out in the bin.

When Koa was done, we headed to the couch. I got my tablet out, and checked my emails. I saw there was a reply from the crate’s seller. They had put a voucher in my account for about 11% of the amount I had paid for the crate, to reimburse me a bit for the damages. They were still working on the screws. I had not heard back from Trixie, the manufacturer of the crate, as I tried to use their contact form to ask about the missing screws. Would never hurt to try, as I really want to finish the crate and start training Koa with it.

I started writing my reply email to my sweet friend, and I almost managed to finish it when Koa started drawing my attention. I changed my clothes and got ready to walk with the dude again. When we were back, I finished the email and then fixed myself some brekkie. I got my laptop out, and I wrote today’s blog post. When it was done, I was able to also write Thursday’s quote post, and make an image for it. When I finished both posts, it was time for the dude again. But, as he was relaxing in his bed, I decided to try and start writing my journal Toot. I didn’t get too far when Koa “noticed” the time, and let me know his bladder was ready for emptying, and his nose was ready for sniffing (and his mouth was ready for naughty snacking!).

We had our walkies, and when we got back, I tried to write a bit more for my journal. But my hands were a tad too tired, and I kept making errors which frustrated me quite a bit. I saved what I had managed to type and then I fixed Koa’s meal. I tried to relax a bit while watching some Found. Koa enjoyed his meal, and then I decided to make my own food as well. When I'd finished it, of course Koa wanted walkies again. We walked a little further this time, but not too far, as it was still a tad dark outside.

We just came home again when bestie called me on her way to work. Koa did his silly thing again, where he'd attack me because he heard someone, but couldn't see them... 😂 After being trampled on by the dude, I was able to have a normal conversation. Bestie arrived at work safe and sound, so we ended the call. Koa allowed me to watch an episode of Found before he let me know that he still had plenty of energy and that he wanted to head out again.

As the weather was nice enough, and I had rested a bit, I tried to walk a bit of a longer and different walk with Koa. He was all excited about it. Unfortunately, many other people also had chosen this moment to walk with their dogs, which made it a bit more challenging to walk with the dude. Especially with a longer route this time. It wasn’t a whole lot further, but I wanted to try and start with small/short improvements, to see how it would go.

I was rather glad when we got back home again. I was also rather sweaty, as the walk had taken quite a bit of energy from me. But, Koa seemed like a happy pup, so I washed up and changed my shirt before getting back to the couch for a bit again. Koa was still a little hyper, and it took him some time to calm down a bit. I wish I had more energy and strength again, so I could really offer the dude what he needs the most, energy wise. I know I take care of all his other needs. Just the walks, training, and playtime has suffered since Koa twisted my back at the end of May. I’ve tried to ask friends and family to help me with providing proper walks for Koa. But I don’t want to be too big of a burden on them either…

But, we had a good walk and when Koa settled down, we also had some time to relax. I gave Koa a licky-mat with some kibble. When he’d gobbled it up, he was all excited again. So, I got the deflated and Chuck-It balls and we went into the back garden. We played around for a couple of minutes, until I was getting too dizzy and my back started to complain too much. Koa spent some more time running around like crazy, before he also had to take a break.

We watched some more Found, then had one more walk. It was a longer one as well, and I hoped it would help Koa to find some inner peace. When we got back, I had to wait for a delivery van to come by, as it was bringing us 12,5kg of Koa’s kibble. When the bag had been delivered, I grabbed Koa’s Lickin’ food puzzle, and spent about 15 minutes with “hand exercises”, trying to fill the little compartments with meat and kibble. Koa thought I was waking way too much time, and he “told” me to hurry up several times before I was done.

Koa attacked the puzzle and fortunately, it took him some time as well to get all the little compartments cleaned out again. I started preparing things for bedtime. I didn’t want to get to sleep yet, but I knew that in a bit of time, my body would need a proper way to relax. When I had everything prepped, Koa was already done with his food and bouncing around. So, for the last time of the day, in an effort to “wear the dude down a bit”, we went back into the garden.

First, we played with the balls for several minutes. After a wee break, I decided that I should rinse down the artificial turf a bit, as it had been a while since we had some proper rain. Of course, Koa got all hyper when he saw me grab the towel and nozzle… I had tried to capture the ball playtime and I wanted to try the same with the nozzle bit, even though it would be a bit more challenging, as Koa would be jumping towards the nozzle more often.

We played for a while, and I hoped that the grass was indeed rinsed down enough. I tried to dry Koa and Koa was helping me. So when I was done, both the towel and my pants were anything but dry. 😂I cleaned everything up, took my meds, and changed into my PJ’s. Koa was panting a lot, and he seemed to have had a good time. We got to the bedroom where I watched my series on my tablet, and Koa enjoyed a nice snack. He wasn’t crated, but the bedroom door was closed. So, he had some more freedom while I was still able to keep an eye/ear out for what he was doing.

After an episode I got ready for bed. I took Koa outside for about 10 minutes, but he wasn’t too interested in doing any potty business. Or, maybe he did wee when I was in the bathroom doing my things to prep for bed. We got inside, everything according to the routine...and went to bed. Koa dozed off quickly, and even I managed to doze off sooner than I had imagined. But then, I was rudely awakened by an electric lawnmower, the type you can drive around. They were giving the grassy field a go, and then all the grassy/weedy areas around the neighborhood.

I had closed the window, but was unable to fall asleep again. So when the time came to take Koa out into the garden, I did. He had some time to do his things, but I didn’t see him “do” his things. After ten minutes, we headed back inside. I was able to open the window again, as the worst noise had calmed down. Koa and I tried to sleep again, which Koa did remarkably well. When he woke me up, it was almost midnight, so I knew I had to get up. I was still very tired as I had slept less than 5 hours in total. But hey ho, I had to care for my sweet dude. So, I got up and we started our “day”.

Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:

:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾

#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani

#Journal of a Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Tuesday, 22/09/2026).

After a bit of a decent night, with almost 7 hours of sleep in total, I woke up again, and saw that it was time to start our "day". So, I got up, let Koa out of his crate, and we started our routine. I made Koa his food, and then I let him out so he could do his business. I took my meds, and when Koa was ready, we headed to the couch. I got my laptop out, and started writing my email reply to my sweet friend. I wanted to check something in my blog app, and then I saw that Monday’s post had never been shared. It was all ready to go, but I guess that, instead of pressing “schedule”, I only hit the save button. I was so bummed as I was afraid that this meant I lost my 6+ years daily posting streak. 😢 I quickly shared the post, and got back to the email.

Before I could finish it, Koa was letting me know that he was eager to go out for walkies. So, as a good servant to my little lord, I obeyed his wishes and we headed out. We had our little walk, and it was more chilly night, with it being about 12°C. Koa did his things, and I cursed about the damned rabbits again. They always run off the field when they see us coming. But then, they go ahead a bit, wait till they see Koa again, and go ahead some more. Koa, with his love of chasing moving things, will try to pull me out of my shoes if I'm not careful! And besides Koa liking to follow the long-eared fluffy things, he also enjoys their droppings. 🫣

When we came back from the walkies, I was able to finish the reply to my friend. I fixed myself some breakfast and then ate it, of course. I got back to my laptop, and made sure that today’s blog post, the weekly journal one, was all ready and scheduled to go live at 7am. I wasn’t sure yet about the streak, due to messing up the scheduling of Monday’s post… But, Tuesday’s post was all set, so I wanted to start writing Monday’s journal Toot. But, after just a few lines, there came some sound from a brown furry dude, and it meant that it was time again to head out for some walkies.

We were getting close to home, when I heard the louder noises from the bushes, as did Koa. It sounded like the time we saw that deer near some of the smaller trees. But this time I didn’t have a bright light, so we just heard the noises and assumed that the deer/doe was back again. It still amazes me that such a fine animal would leave the nearby woods, as I recon that’s where its home is, to come into the residential area. But, it was just a suspicion, based on the sounds we heard, as it was too dark to actually see if there was a deer behind the trees and bushes again.

Back home, I wrote a bit on my journal Toot. Then, it was time to fix some food for the sweet dude. I was able to finish up Monday’s journal and upload it to the usual places. After that, I was glad that I could put the laptop away, as it had been quite a bit of typing, and my hands could do with a bit of rest. I watched a bit of Revenge while I tried to relax for a bit. I got hungry and fixed myself some earlier meal. After which, of course, it was time again to walk with the dude.

I was just trying to get comfy on the couch when my phone rang. Bestie was on her way to work again. And Koa “attacked” me when he heard someone speaking, but could not see anyone besides me. Maybe he tried to protect me, in his own way, but getting about 25 kilo in your stomach of a rather excited doggo… It knocks the wind out of you for a bit. 😅I had a nice chat with my friend. When she arrived at work safe and sound, we hung up, and I watched some telly for a while.

Another walk with the dude happened, and then I tried to play a wee bit with him and his balls in the back yard. After we’d been chasing each other, kicking and throwing balls, I got a bit dizzy of Koa’s running around with all his crazy energy. He stayed in the garden a bit longer, while I got inside and prepped a little snack for both him and me. I watched some more telly, and was just getting ready for another walk, when mum texted me that she was on her way to us.

We walked our bit, and I was watching some Found when mum came into the garden. Koa was preoccupied with watching people and dogs at the low front window, so it startled him when mum opened the back door. A big bark came, and when he saw her, he rushed towards her. Fortunately, mum was prepared, and things went well enough.

As mum was a bit early, I wanted to try and use the normal vacuum cleaner. It needed to be done, and I wanted to see if I could manage it by myself again. Mum helped a bit by getting some things, and Koa 😉, out of the way. I was sweating like crazy when the downstairs area had been done. But, hey, I did do it by myself! The little vacuum did its best, but it was not the best sucker, and cleaning the filter was quite an annoying chore.

I cleaned up the bits, got the needed bags, and mum got Koa on his leash. Mum took Koa to the grassy area for a wee before we had to go, and I gathered up the cooler and my shopping bag. We would make a pit-stop at Lidl before heading to physio. I got the things I needed there, and then we got to my PT. After some waiting, it was my turn. Koa got a nice snack, which really was a good thing, as this time he didn’t scare the bejeezus out of Big Bas with his sudden loud barks. Bas did his best on my back and shoulders. And he managed to get a “knack” from my right elbow, which I had tried to do myself but just could not manage. It hurt, but it also felt so good when it was done.

After the session, we headed back to Herpen again. Mum walked Koa around the grassy area again, while I cleaned up the groceries and then fixed Koa’s food. Koa was eating when mum headed back home, and I started preparing for bedtime. Koa did his best, and he peacefully snoozed before I got comfortable enough to try and follow his lead. Unfortunately, I didn’t get enough sleep, about 5 hours in total. When it was time to get up and start our “day” again, I felt tired still. But, Koa had been crated for quite a bit, and it was time for his food and potty break. So, I got up and we started our now usual routine.

Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:

:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾

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