#pixysjourney — Public Fediverse posts

#Journal of a tired Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Tuesday, 13/10/2026).

Another short sleep. Just a little over 5 hours of sleep. I just wish I could get better nights. Most of the time, Koa is doing so well these days, sleep wise, and I wish I could snooze while he does it. But often, my brain is too wired, my body too sore, and/or there's such bad noise coming from outside... Often the very annoying screaming kid. I hope that, when winter comes, she won't be eager to go out that often to scream like she's being hung by her toes! 🫣 So yeah, five hours in total again, not feeling too well rested. But I was wide awake, my body too sore, my brain too busy from dealing with stupid nightmares. So, I got up early, and started our routine with Koa. As it was still a bit early, I had some more time to get to my things. If only I had the energy for them. 😞

Koa had his meal, I had taken my meds, and Koa had gone out. No smelly prezzie for me to wrap just yet, but it was a bit earlier than his usual “poop time”, so I knew it would be coming later. We went inside, and I tried to relax a bit on the couch. I wrote an email to my friend, and I tried to write a bit for my blog. I had to finish my Sunday’s journal Toot, because I also needed it to finish today’s journal blog post. But I was still tired, and easily distracted, so things were not going very quickly. But, I did what I could, and after some time, Koa wanted to stretch his legs, so of course we had to head out.

We went out and Koa did his things. When we got back, I worked a bit on my blog before I fixed my brekkie. I worked a bit more on my blog, finally finishing the journal Toot and blog post. I was so tired, that I tried to relax for a little while with some telly and some scrolling on my phone. I tried to start writing Monday’s journal Toot, and I had written a bit, when I was told that it was paw stretching time. So, what’s a humom to do, but to go out with their beloved pet again? 😉

Walkies were being had, and we got back home again. I tried to relax a bit, as today would be a day where I had to do some driving and shopping, so I had to have some energy to be able to do all that. After some telly time, I fixed Koa's meal. Followed by a meal for myself. I didn't get much time to let it settle, as Koa thought he'd waited long enough for yet another walkies. So, we went out again. Bestie called me while on her way to work. We got home, and when bestie arrived safe and sound, we ended the call. I was hoping to relax a bit.

Koa and I would be heading to Cuijk around 10:45. We'd head to the Shell station ⛽ where I'd fill up the tyres of Skoosh again, as they seemed a bit too deflated to me. And our friend would meet us there, to join us while we were heading to my physio appointment. But, we had a pit-stop at Lidl first, so I could get some groceries. Our friend would stay with Koa, so that I could get my food and physio treatment without worrying about the dude. When I was done, our friend and Koa were waiting for me to come out. They'd been out for a bit of a walk, until Koa really wanted to get back to me. We headed back to a place where I could drop off our friend. The place I had in mind wasn't possible, as someone in a butt-ugly SUV tried to push Skoosh through the 30 km/h zone, and there was no space to let her out safely. We found a spot, Koa and I thanked her for her good care, and then we headed back home.

I cleaned up the groceries and fixed Koa's meal. After a little snack for me, I started preparing for bedtime. I took my meds, let Koa out into the garden, and then we went to the bedroom. I watched a bit of my series, let Koa out once more, but he was only interested in his kibble. We went to bed, and I managed to get some sleep in. When I woke up and it was time to get up again, I'd slept almost 6 hours in total. Not the worst sleep, but I had a few weird dreams, and I also could have used some better and longer sleep. Still, time to get up and start our "day".

Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:

:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾

#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani

:kirby_prideheart: Ello sweet and lovely Friendos :purple_heart_sparkle:

Well... I've just done it... 😢 :bb: :paw:

I've contacted a doggy trainer for help with Koa. I don't think I'll be able to help him on my own. 😔 I just don't have the experience. And internet is nice, but it's not specific to Koa's situation.

There will be costs... 🪎 I've explained my situation, our situation, and asked for her advice. What would be best for Koa, and what would the estimated costs be...

I will probably have to start a GoFundMe, or at least start a mutual aid post with my PayPal attached to it... I just got Koa the safer crate, so my funds are at a real low now. 😭

I hate begging 🥺 for help! But I need Koa to learn to be OK on his own. Both for Koa's health, and for mine... I need to be able to visit physio, the gym, the supermarket... I can't always ask people to care for Koa when I want to go out. I *need* to take action.

But I need help. Professional help. Personal help. And that help needs to pay their bills as well...

I have to wait and see... Hope that the trainer I found may be able to help me, to help us. And then hope I can find a way to gather the money to pay their fees.

I wish I had more experience with this. Arwen and Chance prepared me for many things. But I now realize how lucky I was with Arwen... She really made my life better in so many ways.

Nothing against Koa! He can't help his personality and what his hormones are doing with/to him. But yeah... While I struggle with Koa, I have to admit that I miss Arwen at those times... 😢

So, I'll probably send out a big help/aid Toot very soon... I hate to beg! But I need to get Koa and myself some help ASAP. I'm feeling like shit right now, captured by the sweet dude, always having to bother others to be with Koa when I can't take him... 😔

Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:

:pixy_party: 🫂 🩵 💜 🩷 🐾 :dogeparrot:

#PixysJourney
#KoaKoolani

#Journal of a slightly rested Dutch AuDHD Pixy :pixy_party: (Sunday, 11/10/2026).

After a very crappy night, where sleep seemed impossible to get... I finally had a bit of a better night. 😊 And, to make it even better, I was so proud of my sweet dude! He'd spent the night with his crate opened. He had been the bestest boy... Nothing had been damaged, he let me sleep for quite a while, and when I woke up, he was sleeping in the open crate. 🥰 He may have some difficult challenges, partially brought on by his hormonal changes (aka puberty). But, there are times when he surprises me with such good behavior. 💖

When I woke up, I quickly started our routine, so that Koa could eat and go potty. While Koa was eating, I took my meds. Koa went to the garden to do his stuff. I cleaned up the smelly 💩 gift, before Koa and I headed to the couch. I got my tablet and started an email to a dear friend. I got distracted here and there, so I had not finished it yet before Koa started to want my attention. I got dressed and Koa and I went out for walkies.

When we got back, I finished my email and then I fixed some brekkie. I quickly worked on the Silent Sunday blog post. And I got distracted again by some things... Even though I got about 7¾ hours of sleep in total, according to my watch, my brain was not working properly. I mean, it was hard to focus on things I wanted to do. And I seemed more comfortable with "playing" with some AI-generated ideas of images featuring Koa... Some ideas were mine, and one of them came from my dear friend. So, I had to try it out. 😉

I wrote some more of my Friday's journal Toot, and almost finished it when Koa was ready to head out again. I grumbled a bit as I had really hoped to finish the writing first. But, the dude's wishes had been heard, loud and clear, and I got ready to go out with him again. We had our little walk, and I was able to finish the Friday's Toot shortly after that. I uploaded it to the usual places. After that, it was time for some food. First I fixed the meat and kibble for the dude. Then, I fixed myself a very nice meal. 😊

I watched some telly, until there were some obvious signs that walkies needed to be had. While we were out, I saw many (big) cars with bike racks driving around. I didn’t think too much of it, until a little while later. Many “spandex idiots” were zooming over the path near our home. It was driving Koa a bit nuts, as he kept seeing loads of folks coming by, again and again. It annoyed me as well, as it’s a shared path, meaning it’s meant for both pedestrians and bikes. But these folks were treating it like it was a racetrack. I looked online, and with some effort, I was able to find a tiny bit of info about the bikers. There were two bicycle tours scheduled for today, with different distances, and they started and ended here in town. But, they weren’t timed tours, so people didn’t need to speed like idiots...

I decided to try and walk on the treadmill for a bit. I managed to walk 15 minutes at the low speed of 4 km/h. It was a bit challenging, which bugged me, as walking 4 km/h used to be so easy for me... I got the walk in, and then watched a bit of telly to reax. After some time, Koa and I needed to go out for walkies. It was a big mess in our neighborhood. So many illegally parked cars, bikers zooming around, making it more dangerous for folks to walk their dogs on the usual safer paths, so now they all had to take to the streets, which were filled with the “little tractors”... I wanted to take Koa on a bit of a longer walk. He loved it, but by the time we got home, I was dead tired!

I had wanted to train with Koa and his crate, but due to all the stuff happening so close to home, Koa was really distracted, and it was hard to let him calm down enough to make the exercise work well enough. After Koa and I had enjoyed a little snack, I took him outside to play with his (deflated) balls for a while. I was hoping that it would help Koa to release some of his excessive energy. So, we played with the balls until I got dizzy from all the turning around, hobbling after the dude and his doggy footballs.

I got back to the couch, and after I got some energy again, I started on filling the Lickin’ Layers puzzle with Koa’s meal. I was being supervised by the dude, and apparently, I should have worked faster than I did! While Koa was emptying all the little compartments I worked so hard to fill, I started preparing everything for bedtime. I was hoping for some decent sleep, hoping that both my body and brain, and Koa, would allow me some snoozing.

As Koa had done so well with his open crate the night before, I left it open again. Which led to a surprising bit... Koa was eager to join me on my bed! I helped him on, and he was both very excited to be there with me, but it was also a bit scary for him. We did manage to sleep together for about 30 minutes. Then, Koa woke me up again. When we’d been outside, and Koa had gotten his kibble, he still was a bit restless. But then, we cuddled a bit, he went in his crate, and I closed it. Soon, Koa was snoozing peacefully, and I was able to get some sleep as well.

When I woke up, I was wide awake. Unfortunately, I’d gotten less than 5 hours of sleep. But my head was very active, my body rather sore, so I had to get up and start our “day”. I started the usual routine by taking care of the dude, hoping that today would be a decent enough day...

Thanks to all for your kindness and support during my "journey through daily life" :bear_love: I really appreciate it :bear_hugs: as it helps me to keep going on bad/harder days! :bear_nuzzle:

:pixy_party: 💜 🍀 🐾

#PixysJourney
#WeirdFolks
#ActuallyAuDHD
#KoaKoolani