#personal-chef — Public Fediverse posts

What’s for supper?

Rojie asks:

If you had a personal chef, what would you make him/her create for you?

Desserts. Lots of delicious desserts that look like chocolate and smell like chocolate and taste like chocolate and smear all over my fingers and lips like chocolate that have lots of protein and no fat or artificial sweeteners or calories

I like to cook a lot but I don’t really have the time to cook what I’d want, and often when it gets close to dinnertime I’m too tired to start making something exciting. So with a personal chef I’d have them make dinners that I’d like to make. I’d have them make dinners that were plant-based with 40 grams of protein and using no oil in the process.

And now that I’m thinking about it, my personal chef will have to make those dinners with no fresh vegetables or fruit because I’m fine being paranoid about Cyclospora and not taking chances. I don’t like the word “explosive” to precede any bodily function that might happen to me after eating food. So everything will have to be cooked until 158°F (70°C), or until we, as a nation, come to our senses and realize just how important Federal health agencies are to… I don’t know, health? Safety? People? Life? The US response to the worst Cyclospora outbreak in history? Put a ‘major tariff on Mexico because of the lettuce’. Apparently that was supposed to be a joke but with nearly 12,000 people sick and more states added to the list, it’s not funny. It’s about as funny as threatening to put a “big tariff” on Canada because of wildfire smoke crossing the border.

I guess when one’s diet consists of red meat, fast food, sweets and pop (or soda to you folks that live in a different part of the country than I do and don’t know that pop is the correct word for pop), protecting 340+ million people from a foodborne parasite might not be high on their to-do list. Just scrape that lettuce off the Big Mac and you’re good to go.

And speaking of tariffs, where are the $2,000 tariff dividend checks? What’s that? In the mail? Got it.

And still speaking of tariffs, the US supposedly collected $194 billion dollars – look at all the zeroes: $194,000,000,000 – from tariffs in 2025. With that kind of money lying around, why did the US House – right before their month-long vacation – have to approve an additional $95 billion for the war in Iran this past Wednesday? Why not just take it out of $194 billion? It’ll be equal parts interesting and nauseating watching what happens when the US Senate votes on it. They probably take a month-long vacation too, who knows.

When’s the last time you had a month-long vacation? I quit a job once and took a three year vacation but that’s another story.

Well, this went a little off the topic so it’s time to stop. But what a way to work up an appetite! Now it’s time to go eat breakfast. I wonder what I have that’s still safe to eat and won’t cause explosive anything?

Changes are always gradual, but Tuesday November 3rd will be here sooner than you think.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgiCS2Yj6l8

Grace is now looking into becoming a private chef, moving away from caregiving.

Excited for their new path! #CareerChange #PersonalChef

Gegen gefälschte Statistiken in den Arbeitsämtern (heute: Arbeitsagenturen): Erwin BIXLER

Das war vor längerer Zeit so gewesen, weshalb vor 20 Jahren, im Januar 2005, das Realität wurde, was unter dem Begriff "Hartz IV" in die Annalen einging. #Arbeitslosenhilfe und #Sozialhilfe wurden zusammengelegt und das Ganze nach dem #Personalchef von VW, Peter #HARTZ, benannt, den sein Freund Gerhard #SCHRÖDER, damals #Bundeskanzler, mit Reformvorschlägen für den #Arbeitsmarkt beauftragt hatte. HARTZ wurde zwei Jahre später im Zusammenhang mit seiner Rolle der von den Medien aufgedeckten Korruptions- und "Lustreisen"-#Affäre im #Volkswagen-Konzern im Rahmen eines juristischen Deals zu 2 Jahren Gefängnis auf Bewährung und einer Geldbuße in Höhe von 576.000 Euro verurteilt.

Dass es damals zu einer radikalen Änderung der #Arbeitsmarktpolitik kam, hing mit den großflächigen Manipulationen zusammen: deutschlandweit hatten die Arbeitsämter (heute: "#Jobcenter") ihre Erfolgsstatistiken bei der Stellenvermittlung frisiert. Das abgebildete Faksimile zeigt eine solche Manipulation. "FIKTIVES STEA" meint: fiktives #Stellenangebot.

in 70% der Fälle geschah das. In ganz Deutschland. Mit Billigung 'von oben', dem Chef aller Arbeitsämter. Die Zahl "70%" hatte der B#undesrechnungshof ermittelt.

Aber nicht nur der. Wie die amtlichen Manipulationen funktionierten, hatte bereits zuvor ein aufrechter Beamter namens Erwin BIXLER, Revisor im #Arbeitsamt #Pirmasens, herausgefunden. Und in seiner Behörde Alarm geschlagen. Und seine Chefs bis ganz nach oben davon informiert. Nichts geschah. Auch Gerhard SCHRÖDER sah es nicht als notwendig an, auf einen Brandbrief eines 'keinen Revisors' aus Rheinland-Pfalz zu antworten.

Nur einer reagierte. Und dann wurde alles öffentlich. Und dann war der Skandal nicht mehr aufzuhalten. Wie das geschah und welche Rolle der 'kleine Revisor' dabei spielte und was aus ihm dann wurde, haben wir bereits vor längerer Zeit ausführlich rekonstruiert. "Hartz IV" wurde übrigens 2023, also vor zwei Jahren von der "Ampel-Koalition" in das "Bürgergeld" umfunktioniert: damit Betroffene "ein Leben in menschlicher Würde führen können", wie es in der Gesetzesbegründung heißt.

Jetzt steht das Bürgergeld wieder im öffentlichen Fokus. CDU und CSU wollen offenbar alles wieder rückgängig machen.

Weiterlesen: Arbeitsämter: zu 70% gefälschte Erfolgsstatistiken

#Hartz4 #Bürgergeld #Arbeitsamt #Arbeitsagentur #CapitalismIsADeathCult #Arbeitslos #IchBinArmutsbetroffen #SPD

#Cats #WednesdaySarcasticCats #FinancialAdvice #PersonalChef

Oh. Right. I did a thing. #personalChef #LetThemEatLechem #brisket I braised it for eight hours at 200F using gramma’s recipe (she refused to be called Bubbe). Then I made a gravy from the pan drippings and pomegranate juice. Pretend that it has a garnish of flat leaf parsley and pomegranate seeds, yeah? #food #foodPorn #ashkenaziFoodPorn #homemade #fromScratch #GoGoGadgetDomesticSkills

#hotSpinachArtichokeDip #spinachArtichokedip #food #personalChef #jewApron #letThemEatLechem #kosherOnABudget #homemade #cooking

If you get me a waffle iron, I’ll make you a latke waffle. Remember what my latkes look like? #food #foodPorn #Latke #personalChef #JewApron #LetThemEatLechem

So. Tried. The type of tired that you feel in your stem cells. If Jew know, Jew know. And I know Jew know. #food #cooking #homeMade #kungPaoChicken #personalChef #JewApron #ICookForYou #WhetherYouWantMeToOrNot #glutenFree

Look who grew overnight! And she’s two ft tall! Her leggy next-door-neighbor showed up yesterday at around 9 inches. #purplePassionAsparagus #purpleAsparagus #CulinaryGarden #kitchenGarden #asparagus #food #personalChef #farmToFork #farmToTable #growingAsparagus

I keep looking at the garden pictures like they’re baby pictures. It’s been like this all spring and summer. This is one of the #PurpleAsparagus plants yesterday afternoon, and then this morning. #TamludTeamAssemble : what’s the brucha for growing #asparagus ? #kitchenGarden #FarmToFork #PersonalChef #FarmToTable #culinaryGarden #JewApron #zone6 #food #foodcrop

Nine layers of pasta. The herbs are under the #pareve ricotta #lasagna #personalChef #glutenfreelasagna #parevelasagna #food #jewApron

Ope. Wrong picture. This is the steak chunk picture. #meatgrinder #steakburger #groundsteak #smokedmeat #personalchef #jewapron #food #cooking #barbecue #kosherstyleonabudget

I double-ground the steak-burgers and smoked them at 200 for two hours, for medium rare. The bosoms smoked for five, the corn for two, the tomatoes for two, the pineapple for two, and the ceder plank salmon for four. #shabbatdinnerforone for the next few months, is set. #personalchef #jewapron #food #barbecuing #cooking #kosherstyleonabudget #barbecue #smokedmeat

@chaoticmitzvah

Hey, do you think you could edit your post to change the hashtags to CamelCase, capitalizing each word, so that our friends who use screen readers can read them rather than getting an incoherent jumble and a headache?

So, in this case, you would instead use #SmokedChicken #BuffaloChicken #PersonalChef #JewApron

Thank you!

I smoked a chicken. The legs are brushed with home made Buffalo sauce. The whole chicken will be served with greens, potato salad, and Carolina white sauce. #smokedchicken #food #grilling #cooking #buffalochicken #personalchef #barbeque #jewapron

There are about three quarts of veg after it all cooks down, in my #homemade #japchae #food #cooking #kosheronabudget #kosherstyleonabudget #personalchef It’s basically a bowl of fiber. So nutritious too.

#shavuot #lasagna is #marnishminhag . I use 40oz of spinach per lasagna, my “cheese” is made out of nuts, and my pasta is made from rice and tapioca of chickpeas. So it’s practically a health food. #food #goodporn #cooking #kosheronabudget #kosheronabudget #homemade #dairyfree #glutenfree #personalchef

Now when I say, “I’m going to make myself a reuben…” #jewapron #personalchef #reubensandwich #reuben #kosherstyleonabudget #food #foodporn #cornedbeef #homemadecornedbeef #homemade #cooking The #sauerkraut has been aging since February. Even the Russian dressing is home made.

The daikon radishes at the market were all white. No green on them at all. I’m going to need to drive 20 minutes to the Korean market, now. Which is my kvetchy way of saying how grateful I am to live in an international hub and food city. #shesfromchicago #notashe #chicago #personalchef #food

Lazy non-binary person dinner: open faced veggie sushi. Is my knife technique perfect? No, but it’s pretty good for a first try. #sushi #nonbinarydinner #girldinner #personalchef #jewapron #openfacesushi #openfacedsushi #veggiesushi

The best ice cream sandwich you will ever have, is between two #frenchmacarons . I did it last night. Oh, and that’s vanilla extract in with my French meringue and the filling in the image is blackberry. #personalchef #hamantaschen #purim #jewapron #kosheronabudget #frenchmacaron #macaron

You’d think that something both #glutenfree and #dairyfree would be worse than the original, but this recipe is so yummy that even without the good stuff, they’re still better than a restaurant. And now I have enough to last me for two Shabbat dinners! #kosheronabudget #personalchef #celiac #crabrangoon #creamcheeserangoon #shabbatdinnerforone #jewapron #food #homemade

Not bad for my first and then second time. The picture of the plate of tamales is from the second batch that I put in to steam today. I filled them with more masa than the first batch. #tamalesdeelote #tamales #tamal #tamale #fromscratch #homemadetamales #personalchef #food #foodporn #parevetamales #kosheronabudget #jewapron

Lighting matters. #piday #pi #pie #lemonmeringuepie #LemonMeringue #personalchef #food

The house smells so freaking good from this chicken & potato dish. I can make it using only one dish. #food #chickenandpotatoes #bakedchicken #shabbatdinnerforone #personalchef

I had the turnip greens with blackberry-soy glazed chicken meatballs and mashed potatoes. The black cardamom is for smokiness. There’s a whole head of garlic in here as well as the juice & zest of two lemons, 5 bay leaves, cayenne, and 22 hour slow cooked chicken stock. $5 to buy, 45 minutes to clean, three hours to stew, gone in mere minutes. #greens #turnipgreens #foodporn #personalchef

Day one of #demiglace made from the leftover 62c/lb turkey’s back, neck, and wings, and some $1.39/lb beef feet. I’m making a $60 sauce for about $7. It’ll take three days, but I can do it! The only burgundy I could find on sale was a Bordeaux but I can do it! #personalchef

#Helaba-#Personalchef probiert Workation aus und ist begeistert
https://www.boersen-zeitung.de/personen/helaba-personalchef-probiert-workation-aus-und-ist-begeistert?utm_campaign=mastodon&utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=Digital

Let the Conspiracy Theories Begin: The Obama Family’s Chef Drowns Near Family Home While Paddleboarding
Former President Barack Obama’s personal chef has drowned near the family’s home on Martha’s Vineyard.

Massachusetts State Police confirmed that the paddleboarder whose body
https://newsviews.online/2023/07/24/let-the-conspiracy-theories-begin-the-obama-familys-chef-drowns-near-family-home-while-paddleboarding/
#WingnutWatch #drownings #PersonalChef #TafariCampbell #TheObamaFamily

Früherer Bahn-Personalchef Ulrich Weber verstorben

#UlrichWeber #Personalvorstand #Personalchef #DeutscheBahn #Bahn #Manager #Bahnvorstand

https://bahnblogstelle.com/199571/frueherer-bahn-personalchef-ulrich-weber-verstorben/