home.social

#onlinedating — Public Fediverse posts

Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #onlinedating, aggregated by home.social.

  1. Dear #Fediverse,

    CONTENT WARNING, may be upsetting to some readers, contains descriptions of unfortunate dating situations.

    ---

    I've had the pleasure of meeting some good men through #Mastodon but as a female who grew up in the southeastern United States, I can also (sadly) verify the truths of this Substack post.

    I wish I could tell you a totally different story. I really do. But I carry a can of pepperspray on my keychain. It's covered with glitter so as to look unremarkable. I bought an armload of them last year, and passed them out to female relatives, friends, and #immigrant coworkers, plus a couple of #Trans coworkers.

    None of that would have protected women in their own private homes, from their own husbands.

    And this abuse is so common that I stopped even trying any form of #onlinedating due to the overwhelming number of men who made it clear straight away that my only valid purpose on this earth (in their opinions) was to satisfy their immediate need for sex. Even some of the men who seemed nice during online chats went there immediately after getting my phone number, or meeting in person. In one case, I narrowly escaped sexual violence. In most cases, I was sent unsolicited close-ups of the man's genitalia.

    I was forced to change my #dating rules again and again, tightening my restrictions on when and where I was willing to meet, refusing to give out personal info until I had run a formal background check. I even put that in writing on my dating profile, but one guy was still angry when I discovered his arrests for violence against prior girlfriends. Another guy was angry because I didn't want to date a man whose driver's license was suspended due to alcohol abuse (driving while intoxicated).

    After 10+ years of trying almost every free or paid online dating app or website, I can attest from firsthand experience that at least 80% of the men I encountered went directly or almost directly to describing in detail their specific sexual fantasies and then asking me to participate, either in online conversations, or by meeting at their homes, or meeting at a hotel.

    After 10+ years of online dating, I can also say I met a small number of genuinely nice, respectful men too. Most of them had large numbers of children, though, and were heavily in debt, due to child support. I felt bad for them, but that was a package deal I didn't want to take on.

    After 10+ years, I had only met one man that I regret letting get away, but that was at the end of that decade spent trying, and I guess I had a touch of PTSD. I do hope he found someone nice.

    open.substack.com/pub/historyo

  2. Dear #Fediverse,

    CONTENT WARNING, may be upsetting to some readers, contains descriptions of unfortunate dating situations.

    ---

    I've had the pleasure of meeting some good men through #Mastodon but as a female who grew up in the southeastern United States, I can also (sadly) verify the truths of this Substack post.

    I wish I could tell you a totally different story. I really do. But I carry a can of pepperspray on my keychain. It's covered with glitter so as to look unremarkable. I bought an armload of them last year, and passed them out to female relatives, friends, and #immigrant coworkers, plus a couple of #Trans coworkers.

    None of that would have protected women in their own private homes, from their own husbands.

    And this abuse is so common that I stopped even trying any form of #onlinedating due to the overwhelming number of men who made it clear straight away that my only valid purpose on this earth (in their opinions) was to satisfy their immediate need for sex. Even some of the men who seemed nice during online chats went there immediately after getting my phone number, or meeting in person. In one case, I narrowly escaped sexual violence. In most cases, I was sent unsolicited close-ups of the man's genitalia.

    I was forced to change my #dating rules again and again, tightening my restrictions on when and where I was willing to meet, refusing to give out personal info until I had run a formal background check. I even put that in writing on my dating profile, but one guy was still angry when I discovered his arrests for violence against prior girlfriends. Another guy was angry because I didn't want to date a man whose driver's license was suspended due to alcohol abuse (driving while intoxicated).

    After 10+ years of trying almost every free or paid online dating app or website, I can attest from firsthand experience that at least 80% of the men I encountered went directly or almost directly to describing in detail their specific sexual fantasies and then asking me to participate, either in online conversations, or by meeting at their homes, or meeting at a hotel.

    After 10+ years of online dating, I can also say I met a small number of genuinely nice, respectful men too. Most of them had large numbers of children, though, and were heavily in debt, due to child support. I felt bad for them, but that was a package deal I didn't want to take on.

    After 10+ years, I had only met one man that I regret letting get away, but that was at the end of that decade spent trying, and I guess I had a touch of PTSD. I do hope he found someone nice.

    open.substack.com/pub/historyo

  3. Dear #Fediverse,

    CONTENT WARNING, may be upsetting to some readers, contains descriptions of unfortunate dating situations.

    ---

    I've had the pleasure of meeting some good men through #Mastodon but as a female who grew up in the southeastern United States, I can also (sadly) verify the truths of this Substack post.

    I wish I could tell you a totally different story. I really do. But I carry a can of pepperspray on my keychain. It's covered with glitter so as to look unremarkable. I bought an armload of them last year, and passed them out to female relatives, friends, and #immigrant coworkers, plus a couple of #Trans coworkers.

    None of that would have protected women in their own private homes, from their own husbands.

    And this abuse is so common that I stopped even trying any form of #onlinedating due to the overwhelming number of men who made it clear straight away that my only valid purpose on this earth (in their opinions) was to satisfy their immediate need for sex. Even some of the men who seemed nice during online chats went there immediately after getting my phone number, or meeting in person. In one case, I narrowly escaped sexual violence. In most cases, I was sent unsolicited close-ups of the man's genitalia.

    I was forced to change my #dating rules again and again, tightening my restrictions on when and where I was willing to meet, refusing to give out personal info until I had run a formal background check. I even put that in writing on my dating profile, but one guy was still angry when I discovered his arrests for violence against prior girlfriends. Another guy was angry because I didn't want to date a man whose driver's license was suspended due to alcohol abuse (driving while intoxicated).

    After 10+ years of trying almost every free or paid online dating app or website, I can attest from firsthand experience that at least 80% of the men I encountered went directly or almost directly to describing in detail their specific sexual fantasies and then asking me to participate, either in online conversations, or by meeting at their homes, or meeting at a hotel.

    After 10+ years of online dating, I can also say I met a small number of genuinely nice, respectful men too. Most of them had large numbers of children, though, and were heavily in debt, due to child support. I felt bad for them, but that was a package deal I didn't want to take on.

    After 10+ years, I had only met one man that I regret letting get away, but that was at the end of that decade spent trying, and I guess I had a touch of PTSD. I do hope he found someone nice.

    open.substack.com/pub/historyo

  4. Dear #Fediverse,

    CONTENT WARNING, may be upsetting to some readers, contains descriptions of unfortunate dating situations.

    ---

    I've had the pleasure of meeting some good men through #Mastodon but as a female who grew up in the southeastern United States, I can also (sadly) verify the truths of this Substack post.

    I wish I could tell you a totally different story. I really do. But I carry a can of pepperspray on my keychain. It's covered with glitter so as to look unremarkable. I bought an armload of them last year, and passed them out to female relatives, friends, and #immigrant coworkers, plus a couple of #Trans coworkers.

    None of that would have protected women in their own private homes, from their own husbands.

    And this abuse is so common that I stopped even trying any form of #onlinedating due to the overwhelming number of men who made it clear straight away that my only valid purpose on this earth (in their opinions) was to satisfy their immediate need for sex. Even some of the men who seemed nice during online chats went there immediately after getting my phone number, or meeting in person. In one case, I narrowly escaped sexual violence. In most cases, I was sent unsolicited close-ups of the man's genitalia.

    I was forced to change my #dating rules again and again, tightening my restrictions on when and where I was willing to meet, refusing to give out personal info until I had run a formal background check. I even put that in writing on my dating profile, but one guy was still angry when I discovered his arrests for violence against prior girlfriends. Another guy was angry because I didn't want to date a man whose driver's license was suspended due to alcohol abuse (driving while intoxicated).

    After 10+ years of trying almost every free or paid online dating app or website, I can attest from firsthand experience that at least 80% of the men I encountered went directly or almost directly to describing in detail their specific sexual fantasies and then asking me to participate, either in online conversations, or by meeting at their homes, or meeting at a hotel.

    After 10+ years of online dating, I can also say I met a small number of genuinely nice, respectful men too. Most of them had large numbers of children, though, and were heavily in debt, due to child support. I felt bad for them, but that was a package deal I didn't want to take on.

    After 10+ years, I had only met one man that I regret letting get away, but that was at the end of that decade spent trying, and I guess I had a touch of PTSD. I do hope he found someone nice.

    open.substack.com/pub/historyo

  5. Dear #Fediverse,

    CONTENT WARNING, may be upsetting to some readers, contains descriptions of unfortunate dating situations.

    ---

    I've had the pleasure of meeting some good men through #Mastodon but as a female who grew up in the southeastern United States, I can also (sadly) verify the truths of this Substack post.

    I wish I could tell you a totally different story. I really do. But I carry a can of pepperspray on my keychain. It's covered with glitter so as to look unremarkable. I bought an armload of them last year, and passed them out to female relatives, friends, and #immigrant coworkers, plus a couple of #Trans coworkers.

    None of that would have protected women in their own private homes, from their own husbands.

    And this abuse is so common that I stopped even trying any form of #onlinedating due to the overwhelming number of men who made it clear straight away that my only valid purpose on this earth (in their opinions) was to satisfy their immediate need for sex. Even some of the men who seemed nice during online chats went there immediately after getting my phone number, or meeting in person. In one case, I narrowly escaped sexual violence. In most cases, I was sent unsolicited close-ups of the man's genitalia.

    I was forced to change my #dating rules again and again, tightening my restrictions on when and where I was willing to meet, refusing to give out personal info until I had run a formal background check. I even put that in writing on my dating profile, but one guy was still angry when I discovered his arrests for violence against prior girlfriends. Another guy was angry because I didn't want to date a man whose driver's license was suspended due to alcohol abuse (driving while intoxicated).

    After 10+ years of trying almost every free or paid online dating app or website, I can attest from firsthand experience that at least 80% of the men I encountered went directly or almost directly to describing in detail their specific sexual fantasies and then asking me to participate, either in online conversations, or by meeting at their homes, or meeting at a hotel.

    After 10+ years of online dating, I can also say I met a small number of genuinely nice, respectful men too. Most of them had large numbers of children, though, and were heavily in debt, due to child support. I felt bad for them, but that was a package deal I didn't want to take on.

    After 10+ years, I had only met one man that I regret letting get away, but that was at the end of that decade spent trying, and I guess I had a touch of PTSD. I do hope he found someone nice.

    open.substack.com/pub/historyo

  6. If BGP Peering was like modern Dating:

    "you have 5 missed peering requests. Subscribe now to Peeringdb Pro Gold to see all peering requests"

    #bgp #peering #onlinedating

  7. CW: Online dating reflections

    It seems that there's a whole category of women (when it comes to online dating), who feel that the way to establish a love relationship is by proving to a man that they have breasts. Not necessarily NSFW, but they do tend to send photos which basically focus on that part of the body. And then they seem to expect a man to be utterly captivated and ecstatic.

    Maybe that works for neurotypical men? I know some men that it would certainly affect strongly. But as a demisexual and sapiosexual male, that approach has always bewildered me.

    I mean, I pretty much •assumed• you had breasts! I know not every woman does, but the vast majority do. And there's nothing wrong with that; I like them as much as any straight man. But shouldn't it matter who the breasts are ATTACHED to? What kind of person they are? What kind of connection there is between a man and a woman on an emotional and intellectual basis?

    I honestly don't understand the idea of a relationship based purely on physical compatibility and nothing more. Okay, maybe I'm being a little too harsh. I know personality matters for everyone, not just demis. But...it's SO confusing! It's like living in a world where maybe 50 to 75% of potential mates are actually incredibly alien from a mental and emotional point of view. And they don't seem to be able to understand demisexuals, demisexual males in particular. I guess we pretty much violate the cliches of what a male is and wants.

    Hope that wasn't too inappropriate.

    #demisexual #sapiosexual #dating #OnlineDating

  8. Video: Big Dating, Big Heartbreak. Our Investigative Report in Online Dating

    Welcome to episode 7 of my news video’s. Today’s topic is on our massive investigative journalism project on online dating.

    freezenet.ca/video-big-dating-

    #News #Podcast #Bumble #eharmony #Facebook #FacebookDating #hinge #Matchcom #OKCupid #OnlineDating #PlentyOfFish #Tinder #video

  9. He's a 10, but he's wearing a Yankees jersey in one of his online dating profile pictures
    🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
    #dating #gay #redflag #gaydating #lgbtq #YankeesSuck #onlinedating #mlb #sports #basball #yankees #floridaman #Florida #snowbirds

  10. "definitely ruins my chance of online dating" -- "akin to being cancelled from all dating" -- "being banned has had an impact on her dating life" -- "I’ve Been Banned From Almost Every Dating App" -- "locked out of dating apps can be far more significant for young people looking for a lifelong partner" -- "People unable to get onto those apps are potentially losing out on finding their life partner" -- "owns five of the top eight dating apps" -- "two-thirds of the online dating market" -- "bans, when they’re handed out, are pretty absolute. The companies overseeing dating apps can not just ban usernames and email addresses, but also IP addresses (from where you log onto the internet) and device identifiers, meaning that individual devices can be barred from rejoining apps"

    vice.com/en/article/banned-fro

    I feel

    e x t r e m e l y s t r o n g c o n t e m p t

    towards 2 or 3 major apps who groundlessly banned me despite me doing nothing impolite, nothing disrespectful, no violations of terms and conditions.

    #ostracism #groundlessostracism #abuse #systemicabuse #discrimination #contempt #dating #datingapp #datingapps #ruins #onlinedating #cancelled #cancel #cancelculture #toxic #ban #banned #abuseofbans #losingout #loneliness #banishing #groundlessbanishing #shunning #relationship #relationships #romanticrelationship #romanticrelationships #romance

  11. Well that lasted a *loooooong* time. For context, I'm blind and use a screen reader on my phone. Tried to make a #Feeld #dating profile. I get to the “This is your space to be unfiltered” screen... and I can't tell if I'm checking any of the boxes. I could troubleshoot this into the ground and find some fuck ass workaround but I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO! And I have absolutely no one in my irl life who I'd ask to help me fill this out, and again, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT. This should be #accessible to #blind people and #ScreenReader users. #Disabled people date, have sex, and live all over the spectrum of lifestyles just like everyone else. Being disabled by places meant for people who are already #marginalized really sucks. And worst of all, I can't find a way to contact Feeld about this. Really discouraged. #OnlineDating #Queer #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #Sex #ENN #Kink #Poly #Polyamory #BDSM

  12. Well that lasted a *loooooong* time. For context, I'm blind and use a screen reader on my phone. Tried to make a #Feeld #dating profile. I get to the “This is your space to be unfiltered” screen... and I can't tell if I'm checking any of the boxes. I could troubleshoot this into the ground and find some fuck ass workaround but I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO! And I have absolutely no one in my irl life who I'd ask to help me fill this out, and again, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT. This should be #accessible to #blind people and #ScreenReader users. #Disabled people date, have sex, and live all over the spectrum of lifestyles just like everyone else. Being disabled by places meant for people who are already #marginalized really sucks. And worst of all, I can't find a way to contact Feeld about this. Really discouraged. #OnlineDating #Queer #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #Sex #ENN #Kink #Poly #Polyamory #BDSM

  13. Well that lasted a *loooooong* time. For context, I'm blind and use a screen reader on my phone. Tried to make a #Feeld #dating profile. I get to the “This is your space to be unfiltered” screen... and I can't tell if I'm checking any of the boxes. I could troubleshoot this into the ground and find some fuck ass workaround but I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO! And I have absolutely no one in my irl life who I'd ask to help me fill this out, and again, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT. This should be #accessible to #blind people and #ScreenReader users. #Disabled people date, have sex, and live all over the spectrum of lifestyles just like everyone else. Being disabled by places meant for people who are already #marginalized really sucks. And worst of all, I can't find a way to contact Feeld about this. Really discouraged. #OnlineDating #Queer #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #Sex #ENN #Kink #Poly #Polyamory

  14. Well that lasted a *loooooong* time. For context, I'm blind and use a screen reader on my phone. Tried to make a #Feeld #dating profile. I get to the “This is your space to be unfiltered” screen... and I can't tell if I'm checking any of the boxes. I could troubleshoot this into the ground and find some fuck ass workaround but I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO! And I have absolutely no one in my irl life who I'd ask to help me fill this out, and again, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT. This should be #accessible to #blind people and #ScreenReader users. #Disabled people date, have sex, and live all over the spectrum of lifestyles just like everyone else. Being disabled by places meant for people who are already #marginalized really sucks. And worst of all, I can't find a way to contact Feeld about this. Really discouraged. #OnlineDating #Queer #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #Sex #ENN #Kink #Poly #Polyamory #BDSM

  15. Well that lasted a *loooooong* time. For context, I'm blind and use a screen reader on my phone. Tried to make a #Feeld #dating profile. I get to the “This is your space to be unfiltered” screen... and I can't tell if I'm checking any of the boxes. I could troubleshoot this into the ground and find some fuck ass workaround but I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO! And I have absolutely no one in my irl life who I'd ask to help me fill this out, and again, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT. This should be #accessible to #blind people and #ScreenReader users. #Disabled people date, have sex, and live all over the spectrum of lifestyles just like everyone else. Being disabled by places meant for people who are already #marginalized really sucks. And worst of all, I can't find a way to contact Feeld about this. Really discouraged. #OnlineDating #Queer #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #Sex #ENN #Kink #Poly #Polyamory #BDSM

  16. Man Known as the ‘Tinder Swindler’ Is Arrested in Georgia - The man, Shimon Hayut, has been accused of using multiple aliases to swindle women he met... - nytimes.com/2025/09/16/world/e #documentaryfilmsandprograms #batumi(georgianrepublic) #hayutshimon(simonleviev) #fraudsandswindling #tinder(mobileapp) #onlinedating #netflixinc #israel

  17. PsyPost: Hookup apps linked to risky sexual behavior, boredom plays a role for women. “College students who use dating apps like Tinder to find casual encounters are more likely to engage in risky sexual behaviors, according to new research published in Computers in Human Behavior. The study also revealed that while a desire for excitement drives both men and women to these apps, boredom […]

    https://rbfirehose.com/2025/02/17/psypost-hookup-apps-linked-to-risky-sexual-behavior-boredom-plays-a-role-for-women/

  18. To my ears, #OnlineDating sounds like Zoom-based social interaction, something that today's youngsters are wont to do.

    Back in my day, we had #RadioCarbonDating.

  19. If you swipe right on 10 people and no one responds, there should be a requirement SOMEONE tells you what the hell is wrong with you. #Dating #DatingTips #OnlineDating #DstingWoes

  20. Being propositioned by women doesn't make me feel dysphoric but the fact that the overwhelming majority of people who do proposition me are women makes me feel overwhelmingly dysphoric. I can't shake the implication that it's simply because most people see me as a man.

    #onlinedating #dating #hookups #hookingup #dysphoria #genderdysphoria

  21. "#Grindr is terrible!"

    Yeah but it's the only app that's ever gotten me laid.

    It's the only app where the people who hit on me are mostly men instead of bi-curious cishet women.

    So it's the only app where I can tell myself that maybe people see me as a woman.

    #onlinedating #dating #hookups #hookingup #dysphoria #genderdysphoria #transhet #bi #biromantic #bisexual

  22. CW: Dating Profile Mistakes 😬

    8 Dating app profile mistakes you should avoid at all costs.

    Here are a few of my thoughts + what are some cringe things you have come across on an app?👇🏾

    #Dating #DatingApps #OnlineDating #DatingTips #DatingAdvice #Single #DatingProfile

    huffpost.com/entry/dating-app-