#feeld — Public Fediverse posts

Feeld: Still Not Great

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2026/07/14/feeld-still-not-great/

Feeld: Still Not Great

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2026/07/14/feeld-still-not-great/

Okay.... so after getting to a certain number of likes I couldn't see, I decided to pay for Feeld again.

Here is what I discovered:

* 1/6th of the likes I got were in the ballpark. The rest was from cishet folks or people who cannot read a profile.

* The latest person who liked me was cishet so either the LGBTQ+ filter does not work both ways, or this man played shenanigans with is sexual orientation (was first bi, pan, or bi-curious and then switched it to straight. 🤷 )

* A fair amount of the folks who liked me are close enough to me that I should have run into their profile, but I did not. Why?????

With my subscription I can now also see how long ago someone has been on the platform.

:headache: Wow! I had decided not to eliminate from my prospects people who had not been on the platform in **years* (1 year, 2 years, even 3 fucking years). I know for a fact that Feeld used to cull old profiles after a few months. No more.

I'm also quite certain that some of those old profiles just showed up in the past few weeks in my stack of prospects.

Feeld sure likes to play shenanigans with old profiles.

#dating #OnlineDating #Feeld #shenanigans

Oh Feeld, why must you find new and innovative ways to shit the bed?

#Feeld #enshittification

Feeld has finally implemented a feature I requested years ago.

It is now possible to filter out non-LGBTQIA+ folks from my stack of prospects.

I sure hope it works in reverse too and hides me from the non-LGBTQIA+ folks.

Now, if they could fix all the bugs, it might be worth paying for the app again... maybe...

#Feeld #dating #OnlineDating #queer #lgbtqiaplus

Okay... so I got a like on Feeld from an individual called "AlphaMale."

:headache:

With a handle like this, you lose from the get-go.

I'm guessing this person liking me was a mistake.... just like the like that I got from a cishet man called "Carnal."

I did not find AlphaMale's profile, but I did find Carnal and sent him on his way.

:why: :holdthepain:

#Feeld #OnlineDating #dating

I've been sitting on this for a bit... and maybe an article is going to come out of this.

Feeld used to be the app I recommend for online dating.

Then it became a dating application that I could no longer recommend, even if I tolerated it.

It has become complete and utter crap. Tolerating it is becoming hard as fuck.

I've been... 4 years on that app, continually. During this time I've seen it go from an application that wasn't ever great, but was at least useful, to a complete pile of SHIT.

Either their developers are complete idiots, or the executives drank the LLM Kool-Aid, and it is now made with vibe coding. I have no evidence for which, but at the end of the day the results are the same.

The GUI now operates as if you're giving instructions to a drunken baboon.

"Oh, you meant to reject THIS person? Well, I understood that you wanted to reject THAT person. Yeah, I know that when you pressed the button, THIS person was on the screen, but whatever.... No backsies now... [burp]."

And there's more shit to report.

#Feeld #dating #OnlineDating #DrunkenBaboons #VibeCoding

Taimi: The Unserious Dating App for Unserious Folks

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2026/03/18/taimi-the-unserious-dating-app-for-unserious-folks/

Taimi: The Unserious Dating App for Unserious Folks

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2026/03/18/taimi-the-unserious-dating-app-for-unserious-folks/

The Best Dating Apps For Gay Men

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://in.mashable.com/sex-dating-relationships/106541/the-best-dating-apps-for-gay-men

So on Feeld I've been accumulating likes. I don't pay, so when someone likes me, their profile appears blurred.

Once in a while I can figure out who liked me, and I find that it is someone pan/bi but without a profile to speak of, or it is a "straight" man. :holdthepain: I always pass on those.

But once in a while, some of those likes take care of themselves without me doing anything. I've had two that disappeared during the last 24 hours, a sign that these were likely scammers.

(It is not possible to retract a like on Feeld. So for a like to disappear, your account must be deleted, by management, or by yourself.)

#dating #OnlineDating #Feeld

Well that lasted a *loooooong* time. For context, I'm blind and use a screen reader on my phone. Tried to make a #Feeld #dating profile. I get to the “This is your space to be unfiltered” screen... and I can't tell if I'm checking any of the boxes. I could troubleshoot this into the ground and find some fuck ass workaround but I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO! And I have absolutely no one in my irl life who I'd ask to help me fill this out, and again, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT. This should be #accessible to #blind people and #ScreenReader users. #Disabled people date, have sex, and live all over the spectrum of lifestyles just like everyone else. Being disabled by places meant for people who are already #marginalized really sucks. And worst of all, I can't find a way to contact Feeld about this. Really discouraged. #OnlineDating #Queer #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #Sex #ENN #Kink #Poly #Polyamory #BDSM

Well that lasted a *loooooong* time. For context, I'm blind and use a screen reader on my phone. Tried to make a #Feeld #dating profile. I get to the “This is your space to be unfiltered” screen... and I can't tell if I'm checking any of the boxes. I could troubleshoot this into the ground and find some fuck ass workaround but I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO! And I have absolutely no one in my irl life who I'd ask to help me fill this out, and again, I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT. This should be #accessible to #blind people and #ScreenReader users. #Disabled people date, have sex, and live all over the spectrum of lifestyles just like everyone else. Being disabled by places meant for people who are already #marginalized really sucks. And worst of all, I can't find a way to contact Feeld about this. Really discouraged. #OnlineDating #Queer #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA #Sex #ENN #Kink #Poly #Polyamory #BDSM

Oh, yeah, Feeld has been busy implementing new features, or maybe I should say new *anti*-features.

One of these anti-features is the hidden bio. You can hide a portion of your bio behind a button that people have to tap onto to reveal. They can tap onto it if they match with you.

You do you, but I'd advise against using it. I saw a person, who at first glance I appeared compatible with, but their bio was entirely hidden. 😕 To me, that's the same as not having any bio at all. I pass on those folks who cannot be bothered to write a bio. I passed on this person.

Even if the entire bio is not hidden, I've got to wonder. What is it that you have in there that you think needs to be said *there*, but that you DO NOT want people to see??? A hidden bio is a yellow flag. If only a small part is hidden, I don't automatically pass, but it does make me lean towards passing.

As far as I see it, the hidden bio is entirely unnecessary. Either, you can just plainly say what you need to say. (And the users on Feeld are not particularly shy about saying what they need to say.) Or, you can reveal its content in chat.

As I said, that's an anti-feature.

#Feeld #DatingApp #OnlineDating #antifeature

My account on Feeld was buggy af... so I took advantage of the fact that I'm not paying to delete my account and create a new one. Some observations:

1. You get two free pings when you join. My account was over 3 years old... I don't recall how it was when I joined. Did I get pings? At any rate, I was wondering why sometimes scammers would ping me. They typically don't want to pay money. Well... wonder no more: they were using their free pings most likely.

2. They no longer ask for a phone number.

3. I feel super special being hit upon by cishet guys right away. /sarc

4. I think my account was buggy in more ways than one. I'm seeing profiles I've never seen before.

5. It is super fun seeing again those people who decided to pass on me. /sarc

#Feeld #dating #DatingApp #OnlineDating

I was talking with a friend about dating apps, privacy, security and safety.

They are using Feeld, which lets you tag specific kinks -- and which changed their TOS about 2 years ago (IIRC) to specify that they sell user data. (In a massive betrayal of the trust and safety of their user base.)

My friend's response was that they aren't ashamed of who they are and if an app wants to sell their data, no big deal.

My position was that in a time of rising fascism, it's really worth thinking about how in the 1930's, IBM set up the systems to tag and sort people by "undesirable" qualities. In Germany.

I fear for people with all my heart.

For the reading comprehension impaired, let me be clear: I'm not telling anyone not to live their life. I'm saying be smart, raise your game on privacy and security, and keep yourself and your people as safe as you can in a brutal world.

@Em0nM4stodon wrote a great article on data privacy and dating apps (with a focus on queer apps but also relevant to any dating apps).

Read it, share it with your people, and act on it.

https://www.privacyguides.org/articles/2025/06/24/queer-dating-apps-beware-who-you-trust/

#Dating #QueerDating #DatingApps #SurveillanceCapitalism #DataBrokers #DatingApp #Privacy #PrivacyGuides #Feeld #SocialMedia #Technology

I was talking with a friend about dating apps, privacy, security and safety.

They are using Feeld, which lets you tag specific kinks -- and which changed their TOS about 2 years ago (IIRC) to specify that they sell user data. (In a massive betrayal of the trust and safety of their user base.)

My friend's response was that they aren't ashamed of who they are and if an app wants to sell their data, no big deal.

My position was that in a time of rising fascism, it's really worth thinking about how in the 1930's, IBM set up the systems to tag and sort people by "undesirable" qualities. In Germany.

I fear for people with all my heart.

For the reading comprehension impaired, let me be clear: I'm not telling anyone not to live their life. I'm saying be smart, raise your game on privacy and security, and keep yourself and your people as safe as you can in a brutal world.

@Em0nM4stodon wrote a great article on data privacy and dating apps (with a focus on queer apps but also relevant to any dating apps).

Read it, share it with your people, and act on it.

https://www.privacyguides.org/articles/2025/06/24/queer-dating-apps-beware-who-you-trust/

#Dating #QueerDating #DatingApps #SurveillanceCapitalism #DataBrokers #DatingApp #Privacy #PrivacyGuides #Feeld #SocialMedia #Technology

I Still Cannot Recommend Feeld

Feeld used to be my go-to dating app, but no more. How the mighty have fallen!

I let my subscription to Feeld lapse in mid-July. In the year prior, I spent about $270 on this app, in subscription fees and individual pings. However, they raised their prices at the end of Spring or the start of Summer 2025. If I had the same usage for the coming year, my cost would be about $410!

I’ve written an article already about the problems I had with Feeld:

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2024/05/13/i-no-longer-recommend-feeld/

True to my own advice in that article, I returned to OkCupid. However, this app sucks too. I just had forgotten how much it sucks. I can say that, by and large, there hasn’t been a migration of kinky people to OkCupid. I did find my boyfriend on OkCupid. However, OkCupid was just too irritating for me, and I deleted my account there.

In the article above, I mention how Feeld had a problem with pings not getting through. This was a very serious problem. I’d get a notification that someone pinged me, and I’d tap the notification, but they did now show up among the people who pinged me. This problem has now been fixed.

However, the distance problem I mentioned in the article above remains. This, coupled with the price increase, and a new round of bugs, still keeps me from recommending it. What bugs? Read on.

It has happened twice now that Feeld matched me with people I had not liked. Normally, for a match to occur, both parties have to like each other. It is not possible for someone to just show up as a match if you haven’t liked them.

This first time this happened… I was confused and thought that maybe I had made a mistake somewhere. However, the second time this happened, the individual that showed up was so incompatible with me that I’m 100% sure I did not make a mistake.

What happened?

Did Feeld misdirect one of our likes? Was I supposed to match with someone else and Feeld misdirect the match?

Was Feeld’s display when I was going through the stack of dating prospects messed up and showed me the profile of person A when it meant to show person B? And then when I liked person A, person B got the like?

Did something else happen?

I don’t know. I’ve complained to customer service, but I had no reply.

Then, one recent morning, I got a notification that I had a new connection. I tap the notification, Feeld loaded, and I got a message that it couldn’t load my conversation. When I was able to load my conversations, it told me that the person had left the chat.

Wow… that was fast. Could the person have changed their mind this fast? Yes, they could. However, this is the first time I saw the error message that Feeld gave me. Coincidence? Maybe, but maybe not. I’m betting on maybe not.

“Why are you assuming, without absolute proof, that it is Feeld’s fault?”

Because of my history with Feeld. If you go read my previous article, you’ll see there was a bug so fucking serious that it demonstratably made me miss some matches. Let me repeat this, some matches that should have happened did not happen because of that bug! This was a major problem, that plagued Feeld for months.

So yes, I am assuming that it is Feeld’s fault, even if I don’t have absolute proof. If my history with a platform shows that it operates erratically, then my future inferences are going to point to its behavior still being erratic.

Finally, they tried to entice me to resubscribe with a 15% off offer. I did not want to resubscribe, but I checked it out nonetheless. Well, I went up to the Google Play screen for renewing my subscription and found that 15% off to be absent. Way to go, Feeld!

Moreover, after my subscription ended, I’m getting a suspiciously high number of people who like me without a ping. Since I no longer pay, I cannot see their likes. Yes, I used to get likes from deadbeats who didn’t read my profile even when I was paying, but the quantity and frequency of these makes me wonder whether Feeld is paying for some dunces to like people who don’t pay so that these people will subscribe to see who liked them. This hypothetical stratagem won’t work on me.

I’d like to be able to recommend Feeld. I used to say that it was the least terrible app of a terrible bunch, because, yes, all the dating apps are terrible. However, I cannot in good conscience recommend it, to anyone, in any demographics.

What are the alternatives? I’m only going to talk about those platforms that I consider could be alternatives to Feeld. If I do not talk about some platform in this article, then I do not consider it to be a viable alternative.

Taimi

Taimi is a platform for LGBTQ+ dating. I plan to publish a more extensive review of it in the future. For now, suffice to say that Taimi has become my go-to dating app. It is not perfect, all the dating apps are terrible, but it is decent, and definitely better than Feeld. I’ve made some nice matches on this app.

Masked Kink

Masked Kink is a platform for people into kink or BDSM. It definitely is not great. The geographic search leaves me with no matches within 1000 miles of where I live. However, this app has several bugs, so I wouldn’t be surprised if the geographical search is buggy too. As a matter of fact, I’d be surprised if it weren’t buggy.

One of its bugs is extremely vexing. I managed to be liked by a scammer. I did a reverse image search on their dating profile picture, and found a hit on Threads. Then, I quickly discovered their YouTube channel and their OnlyFans page. I wanted to report this scammer, but try as I may, the UI would not let me submit my report. Tapping on the submit button did nothing.

I plan to let my subscription to Masked Kink lapse when it ends.

KinkD

KinkD was already rather inactive when I left it about a year ago. I came back to it for two or three weeks recently. It is now completely dead. I sent messages to easily eight people. Nothing whatsoever happened. They did not even log into the system to check their messages. KinkD was not worth my money when I first went there, now it is not worth my money and my time. I uninstalled.

KinkD is also a great example of how Google reviews are largely worthless on their face. It has a rating of 4.4 as we speak, and keeps getting glowing reviews. I’d bet a leg and an arm that these are fake.

#AutisticWriters #Dating #Feeld #KinkD #MaskedKink #OnlineDating #Taimi #YourAutisticLife

Newsflash:

Feeld is no longer my go-to dating app. I've let my subscription lapse, and I don't plan to buy more from it.

Taimi is my new go to dating app. I'm going to have a review of it at some point.

Right now, I'm writing a second article about the foibles of Feeld. It's taking a bit to come out because I'm literally swimming in likes on Taimi. :catjam:

#dating #OnlineDating #Feeld #Taimi

I've just noticed something.

#Feeld has been increasing its prices across the board.

From the beginning of Jul 2024 to the beginning of Jul 2025, I spend $272 on Feeld.

If I had the exact same usage for the coming year, I'd pay $410.

I've not noticed anything that justifies this price increase for me. It is not easier or faster to form matches. In fact, I'd say it has become a bit harder.

Time to move on? :catthinking:

#dating #DatingApps #enshittification

Don't you dare put a date in this format in your dating profile in Feeld:

2025-07-23

It is going to bark at you that phone numbers in profiles are prohibited.

:holdthepain:

#OnlineDating #DatingProfile #date #PhoneNumber #stupid #Feeld

Pro-tip: if you're going to send likes to folks who don't pay for Majestic on Feeld, it pays to have a distinctive name.

Why?

The only thing that people you like who don't pay for Majestic are able to see *clearly* is your name.

A little known feature of Feeld is that when someone likes you, they are placed in your stack so that you can see them and decide to like back or pass.

Note that this seems to be affected by distance, and does not always happen. It happens often enough, however.

Still, having a distinctive name improves your chances of matching when you send a like to someone who does not have Majestic.

I've turned away this way two people who, in all likelihood, hit the wrong button. They were both cishet men. One of them was a Dom. :headache:

I immediately knew they had liked me because of their names.

This is, also, how an ex of mine and I connected. I was relatively new to the platform and had sent her a like (I'd now send a ping). She did not pay attention to my like or my name, I showed up early in her stack, and she liked me back, unaware that I had liked her. Our encounter was the stuff of legends. (7 months later, she shat all over our relationship, but that's another story.)

So, again, use a distinctive handle!

#proitip #dating #OnlineDating #Feeld

Men are so unserious.

Me: What's your relationship style?
Him (M62): Man woman.
Me: Thassit??

#Feeld
#DatingInTheBay
#MiddleAgedHotness

Men are so unserious.

Me: What's your relationship style?
Him (M62): Man woman.
Me: Thassit??

#Feeld
#DatingInTheBay
#MiddleAgedHotness

Dear #Feeld users,

Okay, I get it. Sometimes people travel, and they forget to update their profile to indicate what's going on. It sucks when this happens and there is no information in the profile regarding where home is. Even something as imprecise as which US state you live in would be useful, better is when you put in the nearest metropolis to your location.

Doing this helps prevent wasting your time and mine.

There's one behavior that I find insufferable, however. That's when someone decides to browse profiles from a location different from their home, and they don't mention anything in their profile about what's going on.

What does this mean?

Are you going to be here for a few days? A week? A month?

Are you traveling abroad and want to keep browsing your home base? (I did this during my recent trip to Canada.)

Are you moving to my area?

What is it?

When you don't explain, my go-to reaction is to reject your profile. I don't aim to waste a ping on you.

#dating #OnlineDating

Dear #Feeld users,

Okay, I get it. Sometimes people travel, and they forget to update their profile to indicate what's going on. It sucks when this happens and there is no information in the profile regarding where home is. Even something as imprecise as which US state you live in would be useful, better is when you put in the nearest metropolis to your location.

Doing this helps prevent wasting your time and mine.

There's one behavior that I find insufferable, however. That's when someone decides to browse profiles from a location different from their home, and they don't mention anything in their profile about what's going on.

What does this mean?

Are you going to be here for a few days? A week? A month?

Are you traveling abroad and want to keep browsing your home base? (I did this during my recent trip to Canada.)

Are you moving to my area?

What is it?

When you don't explain, my go-to reaction is to reject your profile. I don't aim to waste a ping on you.

#dating #OnlineDating

I'm leaving #OkCupid today, most likely forever. I've had multiple matches on this platform, but only two of them became intimate.

This is abysmal.

I'm much more successful on #Feeld and #FetLife, and I have the same success rate on OkCupid as I do on #KinkD.

(KinkD is abysmal, but I don't pay for it, and do not feel the need to pay for it. Not paying for OkCupid is unthinkable. It would ignore my dealbreakers, and I'd get inundated by meaningless likes.)

#dating #DatingApps

I'm leaving #OkCupid today, most likely forever. I've had multiple matches on this platform, but only two of them became intimate.

This is abysmal.

I'm much more successful on #Feeld and #FetLife, and I have the same success rate on OkCupid as I do on #KinkD.

(KinkD is abysmal, but I don't pay for it, and do not feel the need to pay for it. Not paying for OkCupid is unthinkable. It would ignore my dealbreakers, and I'd get inundated by meaningless likes.)

#dating #DatingApps

The list of countries where you can't download #Feeld should also be the basis for an automatic State Department travel advisory and maybe some targeted economic sanctions.

https://support.feeld.co/hc/en-gb/articles/14876019037212-Feeld-App-Unavailable-Countries

Good news, everyone.

#Feeld now allows you to send a short message with a ping.

🥳

You don't know how often I've wanted to do this. I'm sure some people thought, "what does this weirdo want with me???" A message would have clarified.

#dating #weirdo

Good news, everyone.

#Feeld now allows you to send a short message with a ping.

🥳

You don't know how often I've wanted to do this. I'm sure some people thought, "what does this weirdo want with me???" A message would have clarified.

#dating #weirdo

I asked Reddit of my local area for advise on dating apps for Trans people finding cis people and they sent me to Feeld, Thought yeah try it out i've tried like 10 other apps and get nothing.

ALL THE FUCKING PEOPLE WANT TO HOOK UP AGAIN!!!! I WANT CONNECTION & DATES NOT QUICK SEX.

Fuck this all, Dating apps are a fucking shit show for a Trans Submissive Top like me.

#Feeld #DatingApps #TransDating #Dating #LGBT #LGBTQ #LGBTQIA

Word to the wise.

I've let my #Feeld subscription lapse, given how buggy the app has been.

I thought that without a subscription, I just wouldn't be able to *see* the profile of people who liked me without a ping.

True, I cannot see them, besides their name.

However, what I did not realize is that it makes the list of people who liked you without pinging you unmanageable. You cannot *pass* or *like* anyone.

Fair enough, but their documentation is not clear about this.

I'm not about to resubscribe. I ran into the same bug that I used to this morning. I got the notification that someone had liked me, but they were nowhere to be found.

:why:

#dating

Word to the wise.

I've let my #Feeld subscription lapse, given how buggy the app has been.

I thought that without a subscription, I just wouldn't be able to *see* the profile of people who liked me without a ping.

True, I cannot see them, besides their name.

However, what I did not realize is that it makes the list of people who liked you without pinging you unmanageable. You cannot *pass* or *like* anyone.

Fair enough, but their documentation is not clear about this.

I'm not about to resubscribe. I ran into the same bug that I used to this morning. I got the notification that someone had liked me, but they were nowhere to be found.

:why:

#dating

#Feeld now has an undo button. I repeat. Feeld now has an undo button.

I think you can only undo rejections right now.

I don't recall rejecting someone by mistake. I have sometimes liked someone by mistake, and I have sometimes sent a like rather than a ping, but I don't recall rejecting by mistake.

#dating

#Feeld now has an undo button. I repeat. Feeld now has an undo button.

I think you can only undo rejections right now.

I don't recall rejecting someone by mistake. I have sometimes liked someone by mistake, and I have sometimes sent a like rather than a ping, but I don't recall rejecting by mistake.

#dating

Oh, er... yes. I did run into a cockroach today (i.e. a #scammer) on #Feeld.

What tipped me off?

The one picture that appeared to be professionally taken... you know... by a professional photographer.

That and the regurgitation in the profile text waxing poetic about BDSM.

I'm going to post a link to the original picture as a reply to this post. The picture that was used in the profile was cropped, but it was indeed the picture that I found with a reverse image search.

#DatingProfile #DatingPictures #ReverseImageSearch

Oh, er... yes. I did run into a cockroach today (i.e. a #scammer) on #Feeld.

What tipped me off?

The one picture that appeared to be professionally taken... you know... by a professional photographer.

That and the regurgitation in the profile text waxing poetic about BDSM.

I'm going to post a link to the original picture as a reply to this post. The picture that was used in the profile was cropped, but it was indeed the picture that I found with a reverse image search.

#DatingProfile #DatingPictures #ReverseImageSearch

I've said it before: the #queer and #BDSM worlds are both rather small.

I bring on #Feeld and what do I see but the guy who organizes the bi board games that I go to. 😂

#dating

I've said it before: the #queer and #BDSM worlds are both rather small.

I bring on #Feeld and what do I see but the guy who organizes the bi board games that I go to. 😂

#dating

Please do not feed the Great Wheat Sharks

https://streetartutopia.com/2024/06/08/please-do-not-feed-the-sharks-dublin/

Please do not feed the Great Wheat Sharks

https://streetartutopia.com/2024/06/08/please-do-not-feed-the-sharks-dublin/

@renegadejade

I don't do hookups.

Now, for dating...

Feeld used to be the best place for people who are into kink and queer.

However, the update in Nov 2023 has introduced shitty bugs, like getting notifications that someone liked you, but not finding them among your prospects. 🤬

OkCupid used to be my second choice due to its filtering capabilities. I now favor it over Feeld.

I wrote an article about Feeld's bullshit:

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2024/05/13/i-no-longer-recommend-feeld/

#Feeld #OkCupid

@renegadejade

I don't do hookups.

Now, for dating...

Feeld used to be the best place for people who are into kink and queer.

However, the update in Nov 2023 has introduced shitty bugs, like getting notifications that someone liked you, but not finding them among your prospects. 🤬

OkCupid used to be my second choice due to its filtering capabilities. I now favor it over Feeld.

I wrote an article about Feeld's bullshit:

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2024/05/13/i-no-longer-recommend-feeld/

#Feeld #OkCupid

I saw a couple with blurred faces on #Feeld, and I immediately thought of this skit.

#dating #DatingPictures #BlurredFaces

https://youtu.be/YjElsV3r8Xg

I saw a couple with blurred faces on #Feeld, and I immediately thought of this skit.

#dating #DatingPictures #BlurredFaces

https://youtu.be/YjElsV3r8Xg

BREAKING NEWS AGAIN.

#Feeld decided to flush all the people who liked me or pinged me.

:headache:

I had been cleaning up the obvious mismatches.

Lucky for me, I had time to connect with one person. The other folks were either fakes, or not immediately interesting.

I'm half-expecting this person to say that our connection was a bug.

Note that I would have put it all up to bugs all the way down, except that I have screenshots of the notifications that I got, and they match the name of the people that appeared in my likes...

This is bullshit, on top of bullshit, on top of bullshit.

#dating

I No Longer Recommend Feeld

The powers that be killed the golden goose.

If you’ve already read this article, please read the updates at the bottom. They are eye-opening.

I’ve complained about the state of Feeld before. Namely, in this article:

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2023/12/04/the-latest-feeld-update-is-a-complete-shitshow

Well… it’s gone from bad to worse. Feeld used to be the application I’d recommend for the gender and sexual minorities. It had its flaws, but there was a critical mass of people on this app that did not exist anywhere else. I was willing to put up with its flaws, if it meant that I was able to find people to be intimate with. I did find such people. Feeld was the number one app for me in terms of numbers.

Feeld has made it really hard now for me to match with anyone. In addition to the preexisting problems that they never fixed, Feeld added new problems with the November update. The major issues I have are now these:

1. It does not matter how I set my search parameters, the app arbitrarily cuts off the number of people I can see. I’ve tried everything. I’ve reset the app. I’ve reinstalled it. I’ve set my distance filter to the max. It does not matter. I’ve complained about this since before their upgrade, repeatedly. They never fixed it.
2. This did not use to happen, but I now get notifications from the app about people who like me or ping me, and when I go to check they are not there. I’ve complained about this repeatedly, too. No fix.
3. There’s no moderation on this platform.

So I’ve told them. After my current subscription ends, I’m deleting my profile. End of the line. So long, and thanks for all the matches!

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Now, don’t get me wrong. I think all the dating apps suck in various ways. Feeld was just the one that sucked the least in my book. Do also note that geography can impact your experience on the apps greatly. In particular, on Feeld I can only guess how many pings I’ve wasted on people who just happen to be passing through because nothing tells me where they are based.

A friend asked me a few weeks back about what dating app he should try. I still mentioned Feeld, but it was negatively, and he decided to pass on it. I cannot blame him. OkCupid was my second choice. He’s now on OkCupid and happy about it.

I’ve also returned to OkCupid, and I’m now matched with five people there. These are all submissive folks. This has never happened before. I’m thinking the gender and sexual minorities are moving to OkCupid, en masse. I’m still not a great fan of OkCupid because it makes it really hard to find people who are into BDSM, but it is better than nothing.

This sucks, big time. Feeld used to be number one. KinkD was number two but only barely. OkCupid was number three. OkCupid is on track now to surpass them all.

Oh, and if you are a sex educator who somehow associates with Feeld, you’re beclowning yourself with your association. Good job! (Yes, I’m looking at you, Evie Lupine.)

Update May 17th, 2024.

Okay, so Feeld proved to me that my conjecture above is completely true. People liked me, or pinged me. I got the notification, but they did not show up in my likes or my pings. How do I know? I brought up the app, and I had 18 likes and pings total. Prior to this, I had one match, and no pings or likes. I connected with one person while the 18 likes were there, but this person hasn’t replied yet.

I know for a fact that some of these folks were those for whom I had received a notification but did not show up. How? I took screenshots of my notification log when I got a notification without the person being in my likes. And yes, I took more screenshots when those folks suddenly showed up.

Among the people there I noticed a few people who, as I recall, I had matched with, but turned out to be flakes. I even recognized one as a nonbinary individual I went on a date with. I did contact him by text. He said he wasn’t sure if he had liked me again, but I think now those people I had matched with before were a bug.

How do I know it was a bug? Well, a few hours later, all those pings and matches were gone again. WTF are they doing at Feeld? This sudden appearance and then disappearance feels like someone was just issuing ad hoc SQL commands into the database and seeing what happened. Then they realized their mistake, and reverted, at least partially. (I still have the new match that I made.)

So if I did not see the pings and likes that people sent to me, what did this mean? I suspect the same thing happened to those people that I had pinged. They got a notification, but I was nowhere to be found in their pings. It means that a good deal of the pings I had been sending were pissed away.

Feeld is an amateur operation. Amateurs can pull the wool over your eyes for a while, but when the shit hits the fan, they reveal themselves for what they really are, amateurs.

Use OkCupid.

Update June 4th, 2024.

Support no longer talks to me. Brilliant!

I also saw something strange. I was going from profile to profile in the app when I landed on the profile of someone who claimed to be from the company and wanting feedback. This happened during the night, so I did not act immediately. By the time morning rolled over, the profile was gone.

I’m now operating under the presumption that this was a scammer trying to grab information out of people.

If it happened to be real, well, that’s a mighty stupid way to gather feedback. How do I know that this person is real? Did they implement a system for us to know that this is real?

Use OkCupid.

Update June 5th, 2024.

Well, well. The same thing that I reported on May 17th, 2024, happened again. Roughly 20 people showed up as people who had liked me or pinged me. This time I acted faster. I culled the straights, and the profiles that appeared flaky to me. I think I had rejected some of those prospects before, I re-rejected them.

I matched with two folks. I’m wondering if I’m now showing up into the prospects of people whom I liked.

The rest of the bugs, however, remain intact.

Use OkCupid.

#AutisticWriters #BDSM #EvieLupine #Feeld #GenderAndSexualMinorities #lgbtqia #OkCupid #queer #YourAutisticLife

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2024/05/13/i-no-longer-recommend-feeld/

One thing I noticed after changing my gender to nonbinary on #Feeld.

A lot less fake profiles...

:catthinking:

Note that I don't filter anyone out right now. So... I guess scammers don't know how to handle nonbinary folks and consequently filter them out? 🤷

#dating #DatingProfile #fakes #nonbinary #enby

The State of The Dating Apps

Feeld is buggy. KinkD is not very active. Oh, and I’m back on OkCupid.

Feeld is buggy as sin. The November 2023 update has been a shitshow and continues to be a shitshow. I recently let my Feeld subscription lapse. No biggie. However, I’ve received during the past few weeks about three likes that never made it among my prospects.

“Say what?”

My phone brought up a notification saying that someone liked me. I clicked on the notification and that person was nowhere to be found. This never used to happen. I’ve resubscribed to see if it would make a difference, but it did not. I have no clue what happened exactly, but it smells like a bug to me.

I’ve also had trouble unmatching from scammers. I tried cleaning my roster this morning, and that one scammer would just not go away.

Your Autistic Life is supported by readers like you. Use one of the links below to support my writing! Thank you.

KinkD is still a desert in my area. Most of the activity I see on it is happening far from me. There was I girl that I messaged. I asked if she was interested. She answered yes, but then I got nothing more from her.

Given that there’s very little action on KinkD, and that Feeld has been suffering from enshittification, I’m now back on OkCupid. It used to be that I’d recommend Feeld for Kinky folks, and OkCupid for vanilla folks. Truth be told OkCupid is the superior platform. It is just a shame that I have to wade through a lot of vanilla profiles on OkCupid, in order to find the rare gem.

Technically, OkCupid is comes last among these three platforms. I’ve been intimate with multiple people I found on Feeld, with two people I found on KinkD, and with one person I found on OkCupid. I had found OkCupid so vanilla, that I had decided to stop renewing my subscription and never look back.

Haha! Yeah.

With the downfall of Feeld, I figure I should take a second look. The one big thing that has changed since I was there is that I’ve expanded my search to include men, agender folks, etc., basically all the flavors. If we hit it off, we hit it off. If we don’t, then we don’t.

I’ve already received a bunch of likes. It is unfortunately not from people I think I’d hit it off, but it is better than nothing. I forgot that on that platform, the only way to not see someone with whom I think I won’t hit it off, ever, is to block them. I’ve been blocking people left and right, including people that I had matched with before, or that I went on a date with, and nothing happened.

And… I managed… to work through… my entire stack… in less… than a day.

Wow. I remember having this problem before. I don’t want to see or date straight people, so it eliminates a ton of folks from my stack. Then there’s the fact that I don’t want to date conservatives, etc.

Man, my stay on this platform is going to be painful!

#AutisticWriters #Dating #Feeld #KinkD #OkCupid #YourAutisticLife

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2024/04/05/the-state-of-the-dating-apps/

A realization after seeing a bunch of headless torsos on #Feeld.

When you've seen one torso, you've seen them all.

:hide_the_pain_harold:

#dating #DatingPictures #torsos

Shit That Irritates Me In Dating Profiles

How to avoid giving the wrong impression when you write a dating profile.

I’m angry. I keep seeing inadequate profiles on Feeld. Sometimes these people list desires that in theory might match me, but because their profile is inadequate, I have to reject them. My experience on the dating apps have demonstrated that I’m most likely to be wasting my time with them.

Let me explain a few things before we move on. I’m going to talk about Feeld for two reasons. First, this is the main app that I use. Second, some of my behavior may not make sense if you are on another app. Some apps, for instance, require that you like someone or reject them right away. Feeld allows you to pass on them for the time being. That’s a third option. Please adapt my reflections as needed for the platform you are on.

Feeld presents to you your prospects in something I call a stack of prospects. The app allows you to do the following when a prospect’s profile is presented to you:

• Reject this profile. It is removed from your stack. You won’t see it again.
• Like this profile. (Either with a plain “like,” or a “ping.”) It is also removed, but the person at the other end knows of your like or ping.
• Don’t do anything. It remains in your stack. You can see this person again.
• Report the profile. This is for profiles that violate the platform’s rules. It will be removed from your stack once you report it.

Likes are free, but if the other person is not paying for Feeld, i.e. they are not a Majestic member, your profile will appear blurred to them. However, a ping will make it so that your profile will appear unblured, even if the other person does not pay for the service. Contrarily to likes, pings do cost money. You get one free ping per day with your Majestic membership. You can also buy pings. At the end of the day, you pay for pings, one way or another.

On Feeld you can put a prose description of yourself in your profile. In addition, you have a list of desires. This list can be populated from a standardized list of terms: “poly”, “MMF”, “BDSM”, etc. You also have a list of interests, the interests can be anything. You’re limited to ten desires and ten interests.

Let me make it clear to you. An inadequate profile does one of these things:

• It makes you look like a scammer.
• It evinces some self-esteem problems.
• It paints you as an inconsiderate asshole.

I’ll note here that a lot of the people who have inadequate profiles do not pay for the service. This is where inconsiderate asshole comes into play. The chances that you’re going to like us if we don’t ping are pretty slim. You’re hoping that people are going to maybe waste a ping on you. Pings cost money. So you’re hoping that someone will take a chance on your inadequate profile, and most likely waste their money.

Let’s now look at the problems I’m seeing.

Empty profiles

For the love of god, fill out your fucking profile. I don’t care how hard it is to talk about yourself. Write what you want in your profile somewhere else (LibreOffice, Word, Google Doc, …). When you are ready, take that text and plop it into your profile. This is exactly what I do. I did this because I got tired of writing dating profiles on multiple platforms. This may help those who have trouble writing about themselves. Even better, ask a friend to read your profile too to look for problems.

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• What do you like?
• What are you into?
• What are your dealbreakers? I think everybody has dealbreakers. Mine are Republicans, TERFS, cops, folks in the military, etc. List them so that we don’t waste time on you. It is fine to have preferences. If you don’t want facial hair, say so! If you’re allergic to cats, tell us!
• Where do you live? No, you don’t have to be super precise. The closest town, or the closest neighborhood if you live in a metropolis will do.

I’ve liked people with an empty profile in the past, but it has never ever been fruitful. Even if they liked me back, the chat went nowhere, or worse, they revealed themselves to be a scammer.

This is where you can easily appear like a scammer, even if you are not. Scammers do not want to put up any obstacles between themselves and you. Why? Because they want the shortest and easiest path between themselves and your money. So they put up an empty profile with pretty pictures and generic desires.

If the rest of your profile appears contradictory, resolve the contradiction in the prose section. It has happened a number of times that I’ve seen profiles with people having “poly” and “monogamy” in their desires. Generally, these don’t fit together. However, some people are ambiamorous and may be okay with both. Just put “ambiamorous” in the prose section, and you’re done! This was just one example.

Oftentimes, if I see a new person with an empty profile, I won’t reject them right away. I’ll pass on them, for now. However, if they never fill out their profile, I’m going to eventually reject them.

I’ll also note here that if your profile is empty, then your pictures are what is giving you appeal. If you’re tired of people objectifying you, having an empty profile is an awful idea. People only have your pictures to make a decision and will objectify you. Think about the quality of your matches.

Profiles with a social media handle

Feeld forbids social media handles in your dating profile. That’s one reason not to put them there. However, this is not the only reason. Again, my experience is that people who put a social media handle in their profile are scammers, or they are on the dating app for the wrong reasons.

See, I’ve matched with people who did not have a social media handle in their profile, but they immediately asked me to go to Snapchat, or Google Chat, or whatever, right after we matched. These were all, without exception, scammers.

Some scammers will put the handle right in their profile. Why wait until you match to try to scam you?? Note that if you contact them using their handle, all of your interactions are off platform. So the platform cannot do anything even if you complain to the platform about those scammers. That’s why they immediately ask you to move off platform in chat. What better way to get you off platform than putting their handle right into their profile?

Once in a while, I run into a profile that appears to be by someone real, but has a social media handle. I reject them. Scammers have various levels of sophistication, and I’ve run into a few sophisticated scammers that managed to write nice profiles.

I also suspect that some people just use their dating profile as some form of advertisement for their Instagram account. They want followers there, end of story. They won’t ever talk to you.

Profiles without pictures of yourself

Show your yourself, and show your face. No, I don’t care that the people at work will ostracize you. I’ve had two bad experiences with people who did not want to show their faces. Preferences are fine. It just so happens that they fell outside the big bucket of my preferences. I saw their faces, and it was a big fat no from me.

I did have one good experience with someone who did not show her face. She quickly posted pictures of herself in chat. She was gorgeous. We had a nice, and substantial chat. However, the chat that started well became a disappointment. She disappeared. I waited a good six months. She had talked about depression. So I did not think that waiting that long was unwarranted. Well, she never came back. This is where self-esteem issue come out.

If you hide yourself, chances are that you have problems with your own self-esteem. All the times that I liked someone without profile pictures turned out to be failures.

Use the platform’s filters

It irritates the hell out of me when I see a profile saying something like “I’m looking for women,” or “Please be between 25 and 35.” These two statements exclude me. Fine, you can absolutely have preferences. However, why not use the platform’s filter to make it so that neither of us see each other. Feeld does allow filtering by age or by gender. Use it!

Conclusion

The observations above constitute my advice to write profiles people won’t toss into the garbage bin. Also, a reminder, if you have a terrible profile, don’t be surprised if you attract terrible humans. You’ve asked for it.

#AutisticWriters #Dating #DatingAdvice #DatingApps #DatingPictures #DatingProfile #Feeld #SocialMedia #YourAutisticLife

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2024/01/21/shit-that-irritates-me-in-dating-profiles/

Feeld’s Moderation Wasn’t Great, But It Is Now Nonexistent

Feeld’s moderation was never great, but it is now nonexistent. I’ll explain how I came to this conclusion in this article. It really hurts me to say this, because I think that Feeld is the best platform for people who are part of the gender and sexual minorities (GSM). I am part of several of these minorities. It is still the best platform for people who are in the GSM. However, the latest update, in November 2023, was a complete load of crap, and now there is no moderation to speak of.

#AutisticWriters #Feeld #GenderAndSexualMinorities #moderation #scammer #YourAutisticLife

https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2023/12/14/feelds-moderation-wasnt-great-but-it-is-now-nonexistent/

So, a third straight person liked me today... and I'm not going to like her back.

A reverse image search yielded no results, but she looks like a model, and her profile does not intersect with mine at all.

I'm just letting her hang there and see what happens. I'll remind you that *retracting* a like is not a thing on #Feeld. So if she disappears either she deleted her account, or, more likely, she's a scammer.

#dating #DatingProfile

Anyone here use #Feeld, the dating app?

I have suspicions about the reliability of its chat feature.

I just joined #Feeld tonight in a triumph of hope over experience.

The number of people up a mountain in their profile pics is quite astounding. Is there a queue at Macchu Picchu now?

Up a mountain, holding a huge glass of beer/wine, only body, no face pic = nope.

Where are the realistic pics of people sitting on their sofas, crying into their take aways?

My pics: me cosplaying #StarTrek, me playing a gig, me being hugely fat.

#OnlineDating

Can't answer my own poll but I met the couple I am playing unicorn with on Feeld and my sub on a Discord chat set up for #Feeld users in my area. Other apps were good for me in the past but have been basically useless since the pandemic began. #nonmonogamy