#farts — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #farts, aggregated by home.social.
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Scientists asked 19,000 Australians to log their farts each day. Here’s why it matters.
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I’d nearly forgotten I hadn’t eaten all day until I farted and it didn’t smell like anything.
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► https://FunHouseRadio.com <- TUNE IN
Try the radio stream for more laughs!
#meme #july4th #usa #canada #sourhpark #cartoon #farts #lol -
Free download codes:
Mother Raspberry & A.R.C. - Second Entrée
"A collection of songs about the stresses of holiday seasons"
#electronic #experimental #rock #industrial #jazz #soundart #funny #guitars #prankcalls #phoneconversations #farts #music
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The Seer and The Knight
“What can I do for you, young man?”
“I am a Knight of the Round Table, and have come to have my future foretold.”
“That will be five pounds.”
“I’m a Knight of the Round Table. Don’t you understand?!”
“Yes, I understand that you sit at a table which has a round shape. Five pounds, please.”
“Alright, here are your five pounds”
“Excellent! Take a seat.”
“May I take this one?”
“Yes… What are you doing picking that seat up?”
“You told me to take a seat, so I am taking a seat.”
“Put that seat down and sit down, you oaf!”
“Alright, alright! No need to get angry, old woman!”
“Old? I’m only 35, you know.”
“Yeah, well I’m 15 so…”
“At any rate, I’m going to read you now.”
“Okay.”
“Hmm… I see… something.”
“What do you see?”
“You… you masturbate… a lot.”
“That’s none of your business.”
“I see what I see, young man!”
“Anyway, what can you tell me about my future?”
“Give me a second… I see something else. You will be betrayed.”
“I knew it! It is my second in command, isn’t it? That bastard is going to betray me to the enemy.”
“No… not him… you will be betrayed… by your farts!”
“My farts? How so?”
“While hiding in the bushes, you will fart. The enemy will hear it, and kill you.”
“You must be seeing wrong. I do not fart. [Fart noise.]”
“Oh, what was that noise?”
“A frog… that was a frog.”
“Sure it was. Anyhow, this future can be averted.”
“Averted? How?”
“That will be another five pounds.”
“Listen, old woman, I am on a very important mission.”
“Five pounds!”
“Alright.”
“Thank you.”
“Now will you tell me how to avert this future?”
“Don’t eat beans.”
“Don’t eat beans? That’s it?”
“Yes. It will rob your gut from the fuel it needs to produce farts.”
“Well, then I shall eat cauliflower.”
“Great! And stop masturbating. You’re going to get hairy palms.”
#TheDailyIsotope #AutisticWriters #microfiction #knights #masturbation #farts
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We had Lebanese food for dinner last night and it was amazing... but wew boi, the farts were spicy today!
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Reykjavík Iceland is the perfect winter vacation for vampires with insomnia.
From September to April, few places on earth are friendlier to undead bloodsuckers.
https://www.crosbyreport.com/travel/reykjavik-iceland-is-the-perfect-winter-vacation-for-vampires-with-insomnia/
#asia #northamerica #travel #arctic #climate #farts #fish #food #geothermal #hotdogs #hydroelec...
https://www.crosbyreport.com/travel/reykjavik-iceland-is-the-perfect-winter-vacation-for-vampires-with-insomnia/?fsp_sid=342 -
I know everyone is worried about the world’s gas supply dwindling, but I just found a limitless source of it... my dog's butt. 🤢 #farts #dogsofmastodon
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Fun Fact: Over 99% of the volume of flatulence is odorless.
The odor comes from trace amounts (less than 1%) of sulfur-containing compounds.
So imagine what a mere 1-2% increase of those sulfur-containing compounds would do to a long road trip or a sleepover.
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Here a little citation from my sister:
"We should stop calling TERFs that, and start calling them 'Feminism Appropriating Radical Transphobes', or 'FARTs', for short. Because calling a TERF feminist, is like calling Himmler a champion of tolerance and togetherness. (And is, honestly, a far more appropriate term.)"
#TERFs #FARTs #FeminismAppropriatingRadicalTransphobes #BetterWords #MySisterIsGenius -
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Should be an IgNobel Prize winner. :-)
"In a test of the device, healthy college-age volunteers who wore sensors farted an average of 32 times a day. But that figure varied from a minimum of four flatus daily to a maximum of 59. Eating high fiber gumdrops caused 36 of 38 participants to break wind more often, the researchers found."
https://www.sciencenews.org/article/smart-underwear-human-fart-frequency
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On a different note, #KinkBelongsAtPride and we need to fucking yeet all the #TERFs, #FARTs and reactionaries that want to ban #KinkAtPride because #kink belongs at #pride like candy to christmas & music to carnival.
- Fuck all the reactionaries that want to commit #QueerGenocide under the #FalsePretense of *"#childProtection"*!
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Free download codes:
Mother Raspberry & A.R.C. - Second Entrée
"A collection of songs about the stresses of holiday seasons"
#electronic #experimental #rock #industrial #jazz #soundart #funny #guitars #prankcalls #phoneconversations #farts #music
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Free download codes:
Mother Raspberry & A.R.C. - Second Entrée
"A collection of songs about the stresses of holiday seasons"
#electronic #experimental #rock #industrial #jazz #soundart #funny #guitars #prankcalls #phoneconversations #farts #music
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Who amoung us would volunteer for such a noble quest?
#weird #weirdnews #odd #farts #science #technology #methane #particles #cringe
https://www.thebanner.com/economy/science-medicine/university-of-maryland-smart-underwear-fart-study-SAPSZ6DK5JB6BFQUSDVFOJPRPU/ -
@alice As funny as this is, this was debunked as fake: you can't see #farts on an #infrared camera that way. You'd see breathing out as well. 😞
#infraredcamera #thermalimaging #thermalcamera #thermal #aislob
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NEW CHAPTER ALERT! We jump back to the prequel MONO & THE BLECCH PYRAMID to meet Kommandant Trenchstench and learn how he took over the Fartmeister's army. Read for free at #RoyalRoad: https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/114416/sifillis-vii-mono-and-the-blecch-pyramid
#newchapter #newchapterinlife❤️🌟🎀🌟 #newchapterbegins❤️📖 #book #books #weird #weirdfantasy #strangefantasy #fart #farts #farting #bookboost #dinosaursofinstagram🦖 #fartghoul #ghoul #booktok #booksta #bookstagram #bookstagrammer #instabook
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Oahu Hawai‘i: “All expenses paid trip” turns out to be Advertising Club ruse.
We get suckered into judging the advertising of people who live in paradise, and we were not okay with it.
#advertising #air #best #caribbean #costarica #farts #florida #hawaii #hotels #island #jamaica #mexico #miami #night #oahu #oceania #polynesia #short #television #unitedstates #volcano
https://www.crosbyreport.com/travel/oahu-hawaii-all-expenses-paid-trip-turns-out-to-be-advertising-club-ruse/?fsp_sid=218 -
This Is How Your Butt Can Tell a Poop From a Fart, According to Science
https://www.menshealth.com/health/a35818658/fart-or-poop-doctor-explains-illustration-video-matt-barton/?
#PullMyFinger #Farts #Poop #Science -
ADORO IL GENIO - PER IL SOCIALE
Stavamo cercando un video sui botti di #capodanno ma in realtà ne avevamo già pubblicato uno tempo fa... State in campana amici geni e che il nuovo anno sia radioso!
#adoroilgenio #31dicembre #vídeo #comedy #humor #buonannonuovo #buonannoatutti #sansilvestro #bottidicapodanno #scorregge #puzze #fartsarefunny #farts #fart #commercials #video #spot #SpotTV #stories #ad #comunicazione #pubblicità #pubblicita #fuochidartificio #fuochi
