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Exclusive Santa Column: SANTA WOKEN FROM HIBERNATION ERROR! 🚨🚨🚨
Following a horrific error at the Santa Claus factory, Father Christmas has been woken EARLY ahead of Christmas 2026. For it is definitely not December 2026! It’s April. Santa is not best pleased with this development…
WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!?
THE ALARMS STARTED WAILING AT 4AM. WAILING. THEY WERE VERY BLOODY LOUD. SANTA WAS ROUSED FROM A MOST DELIGHTFUL HIBERNATION SLUMBER, DROOLING OVER MYSELF, AND MY BELLOWING OF RAGE BEGAN:
“MARKUSS!!!! [Editor: Markus is Santa Claus’ Head Elf] WHAT THE BLOODY HELLLL!?!?!”
The wailing wailed, Santa bellowed, and to top it off Santa had the most bastard SOB hangover imaginable.
It Is Not Christmas
With the entire factory, elf staff, rats, and Kenneth the Gaffer Walrus woken up, Santa gathered my managers into the office quarters. I slugged from a bottle of tequila and spooned Marmite from a jar into my Santa face.
“Markus…” I wheezed, “It is not Christmas…”
“No, sir…” Markus squeaked.
“WHY IS IT NOT CHRISTMAS, MARKUS!?!?” I roared.
“Erm… er… because it is May, sir?”
“THAT IS CORRECT, YOU LITTLE BASTARD!!!! WHY IS IT MAY?!?”
Markus stood there looking baffled, his stupid elf hair all tussled, and he was not wearing his mandatory elf hat!
“ANSWER ME MARKUS! And get your ELF HAT on, you’re violating the Santa Factory dress code, you insubordinate swine!”
Markus ran off to get his elf hat and returned wheezing heavily.
“ANSWER ME!”
“Sir… *wheeze, wheeze*…”
Well, Santa bellowed for some time after that and went very red in the face. By 10am I was too drunk to do anything about it, so slept it off till 3pm and drank a pink of energy drinks, then a pint of coffee, and then started hitting the Lambrini bottle stash.
That was to deal with the ordeal that had come about because of Santa’s investment into the Sleigh-Dar 5000 AI technology, automated software triggered by technical error as a false-positive Christmas siren.
Santa invested $135 million in that! And it’d gone off in May…
That is not the Return on Investment (ROI) Santa had expected. To deal with the disappointment, I quit the Lambrini and went straight for the gin.
Santa Leaks the 2026 Naughty List
In a drunken frenzy, I went and accidentally leaked the 2026 Naughty List (as of Q2) to a decentralised blockchain, then all across the official Father Christmas social media accounts. The posts were laden with extreme obscenities and typos (I was drunk, it happens).
This triggered off a chain reaction of online and international press mayhem, with the tabloid The Daily Disaster ringing me for an exclusive interview. This I did, apparently, as I read the interview the next day. Santa just can’t remember saying any of that crap, so I may sue them for slander and defamation for the hell of it.
The bigger problem was some of the names on the Naughty List. They included:
- Bread Pitt
- Bread Pitt
- Bread Pitt
- Bread Pitt
- I’d added Bread Pitt multiple times for some reason
- Kylie Minogue
- 1996 Formula 1 World Champion Damon Hill
- The entire cast of Cheers
- Sandra Hüller
- Sandra Bullock
- Anyone else called Sandra
The list triggered international outrage from people called Sandra. I don’t give a damn what their issue is! The list is superb. Genuinely superb. Not a thing wrong with it, apart from the misspelling of Bread Pitt’s name… the spelling issue was probably down to the drunken frenzy.
But, notice, Bread Pitt didn’t complain about it! Nary a whiff of an issue from him as he is A REAL MAN and in CONTROL OF HIS EMOTIONS. Unlike women! Silly things. Oh, and on an unrelated note, Santa destroyed the desk in my office in a foul-tempered rage. I got Markus (my head elf) to order me a new one.
The New Santa Desk (and the cryogenic solution)
Yeah. with all the chaos about the 2026 Naughty List I clocked out once the desk turned up.
The new desk was flown in first class, premium delivery, via helicopter. In customer Santa Factory tradition, the helicopter crashed landed just outside the front gates in a hellish fireball of mayhem. Unlike most occasions, there was a survivor! Lucky SOB!
He staggered in pleading for medical assistance. Unfortunately, Nurse Doreen was awake as well and made him a Pot Noodle and glass of hot cocoa. That really didn’t do much for the survivor’s many open wounds and obvious third-degree burns, so I gave him a shot of brandy, patted him on the back for job well done, and shoved him back out into the snow blizzard wilderness raging outside the factory. He’ll be fine!
With the new desk installed, Santa turned my attention back to what needed resolving. That being… how do we all bloody well get back to sleep!? It isn’t Christmas!
We had a meeting in my office and I DECIDED that cryogenics was the ONLY answer.
“Er… I don’t think that’s wise, sir.” Markus squeaked.
I gave him my haughtiest glare. A glare so goddamn haughty it’d scare the bejeezus out of anyone. Markus shut up and I got Nurse Doreen set on the task of setting up the ice cryogenic units to freeze us deep solid until later in the year. Belching exuberantly, I did also worry if the stupid things were in any way dangerous. What if my big Father Christmas beard got messed up!? I asked Nurse Doreen, framing in a way to look like I wasn’t scared.
“Nurse Doreen, will we all die horribly if we use these cryogenics? I’m shitting myself about this, but don’t tell the others!”
She just gazed into the middle-distance, then at me with this glazed over expression akin to a 1000 yard stare, then back into the middle-distance. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but instead she munched on a powered chunk of Turkish Delight. But then she eyeballed me again.
“Mr. Father Christmas… I do not know. I am not a cryogenics expert.”
“BUT YOU ARE A NURSE, ARE NOT YOU!?” I bellowed.
“Mr. Father Christmas, I am hired as a chef, not a nurse.”
Santa had Markus get her contract of employment and we checked it right there and then in the office while Nurse Doreen waited. DAMN AND BLAST! She was right. I’d been calling her Nurse Doreen all these years! She’s listed as a chef… technically I should be paying her double.
I dropped the matter and we got on with it, prepping the cryogenic units.
Santa must stop here. I’m very drunk. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to make any sense. REST ASSURED! Christmas 2026 will be on target and only if you’re Bread Pitt will you not receive any presents. Bread Pitt and all the Sandras of this world, that is…
#Business #Capitalism #Christmas #Entertainment #FatherChristmas #Fun #Humor #Humour #Lifestyle #Santa #Satire #satirical #Silly -
Madness on the High Seas: AMG Elders Brave 70000 Tons of Metal By Steel DruhmWay back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1
Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound
Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!
Day One: The Aclimationing
After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!
As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.
From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.
Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).
Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.
Day Two: Any Port in the Storm
Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.
We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!
From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.
From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!
After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.
Day Three: Arctic Winds
Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.
80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.
After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3
Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.
Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.
From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.
After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!
Day Four: Survive and Endure
As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.
After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.
Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.
One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.
As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.
In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.
The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.
Final Thoughts:
70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.
Funniest Moment:
-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.
-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.
Bands We Missed:
Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.
Biggest Gripe:
The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.
Biggest Surprise:
I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!
Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.
Post Ship Depression Syndrome:
It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.
#2026 #Amorphis #Anthrax #BeastInBlack #BlogPost #CemeterySkyline #DarkTranquillity #Darkane #ErebAltor #Firewind #Groza #HarakiriForTheSky #Heathen #Hiraes #Hirax #Insomnium #JagPanzer #Kamelot #Kanonenfieber #MadnessOnTheHighSeasTheAMGEldersBrave70000TonsOfMetal #OrdenOgan #ParadiseLost #RhapodyOfFire #Satan #Saturnus #SkeletalRemains #Soen #Tribulation #Tyr #Vader #VioLence #Wolf #Xandria -
Madness on the High Seas: AMG Elders Brave 70000 Tons of Metal By Steel DruhmWay back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1
Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound
Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!
Day One: The Aclimationing
After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!
As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.
From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.
Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).
Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.
Day Two: Any Port in the Storm
Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.
We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!
From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.
From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!
After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.
Day Three: Arctic Winds
Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.
80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.
After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3
Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.
Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.
From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.
After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!
Day Four: Survive and Endure
As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.
After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.
Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.
One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.
As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.
In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.
The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.
Final Thoughts:
70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.
Funniest Moment:
-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.
-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.
Bands We Missed:
Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.
Biggest Gripe:
The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.
Biggest Surprise:
I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!
Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.
Post Ship Depression Syndrome:
It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.
#2026 #Amorphis #Anthrax #BeastInBlack #BlogPost #CemeterySkyline #DarkTranquillity #Darkane #ErebAltor #Firewind #Groza #HarakiriForTheSky #Heathen #Hiraes #Hirax #Insomnium #JagPanzer #Kamelot #Kanonenfieber #MadnessOnTheHighSeasTheAMGEldersBrave70000TonsOfMetal #OrdenOgan #ParadiseLost #RhapodyOfFire #Satan #Saturnus #SkeletalRemains #Soen #Tribulation #Tyr #Vader #VioLence #Wolf #Xandria -
Madness on the High Seas: AMG Elders Brave 70000 Tons of Metal By Steel DruhmWay back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1
Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound
Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!
Day One: The Aclimationing
After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!
As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.
From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.
Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).
Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.
Day Two: Any Port in the Storm
Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.
We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!
From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.
From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!
After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.
Day Three: Arctic Winds
Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.
80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.
After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3
Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.
Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.
From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.
After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!
Day Four: Survive and Endure
As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.
After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.
Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.
One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.
As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.
In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.
The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.
Final Thoughts:
70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.
Funniest Moment:
-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.
-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.
Bands We Missed:
Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.
Biggest Gripe:
The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.
Biggest Surprise:
I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!
Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.
Post Ship Depression Syndrome:
It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.
#2026 #Amorphis #Anthrax #BeastInBlack #BlogPost #CemeterySkyline #DarkTranquillity #Darkane #ErebAltor #Firewind #Groza #HarakiriForTheSky #Heathen #Hiraes #Hirax #Insomnium #JagPanzer #Kamelot #Kanonenfieber #MadnessOnTheHighSeasTheAMGEldersBrave70000TonsOfMetal #OrdenOgan #ParadiseLost #RhapodyOfFire #Satan #Saturnus #SkeletalRemains #Soen #Tribulation #Tyr #Vader #VioLence #Wolf #Xandria -
Madness on the High Seas: AMG Elders Brave 70000 Tons of Metal By Steel DruhmWay back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of existence. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1
Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound
Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our Long Island hometown. This scrambled all the central, southern, and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!
Day One: The Aclimationing
After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!
As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the initial drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a nice way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.
From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we went on to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.
Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).
Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.
Day Two: Any Port in the Storm
Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and we would be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.
We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they came out, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!
From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.
From there we beered up and then caught death metallers Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to him being confined to his cabin and the band getting banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily, and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!
After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.
Day Three: Arctic Winds
Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.
80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.
After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3
Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams wasn’t performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.
Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle” on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through it from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and the band made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that show, too.
From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.
After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even hitting “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!
Day Four: Survive and Endure
As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.
After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.
Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.
One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.
As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.
In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to witness Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.
The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.
Final Thoughts:
70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else you’ll ever experience. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.
Funniest Moment:
-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.
-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.
Bands We Missed:
Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.
Biggest Gripe:
The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.
Biggest Surprise:
I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!
Things I’ll Miss the Most: Those stupid little pizzas served at Sorrento’s. They aren’t much different from store-bought frozen pizza, but the stuff becomes addictive after eating it for a few days, like those dumplings in Old Boy.
Post Ship Depression Syndrome:
It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.
#2026 #Amorphis #Anthrax #BeastInBlack #BlogPost #CemeterySkyline #DarkTranquillity #Darkane #ErebAltor #Firewind #Groza #HarakiriForTheSky #Heathen #Hiraes #Hirax #Insomnium #JagPanzer #Kamelot #Kanonenfieber #MadnessOnTheHighSeasTheAMGEldersBrave70000TonsOfMetal #OrdenOgan #ParadiseLost #RhapodyOfFire #Satan #Saturnus #SkeletalRemains #Soen #Tribulation #Tyr #Vader #VioLence #Wolf #Xandria -
Madness on the High Seas: AMG Elders Brave 70000 Tons of Metal By Steel DruhmWay back in 2014, when Madam X and I were still just mutual admirers online, she decided to travel from her home country of South Africa to the US to catch the world-famous 70000 Tons of Metal cruise. This had the added benefit of allowing us to finally meet in person since she was flying into New York, where I worked as a regional warlord at the time. We ended up meeting, totally hitting it off, and yada-yada-yada, we got married and lived happily ever after. It took us way too long to catch a 70000 Tons voyage as a couple, but this year we finally did it! After hearing so much about the 70000 Tons experience from Madam X, other AMG staffers, and various random miscreants, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what to expect. I didn’t. This event is one seriously wild ride, unlike anything else I’ve ever encountered. It’s a strange alternate universe where time is the enemy, yet also seems to lose all meaning. You spend every waking moment running from set to set to catch acts you want to see, and in the little spaces in between, you eat, chug brewskis, and study the scheduling app to plot and plan where to run next. You quickly lose track of the days as you adapt to this new lifestyle, and before long, you start to prefer this kind of lifestyle. It’s a 4-day musical treasure hunt with adventure (and alcohol) available around every corner, and you share all the madcap escapades with thousands of like-minded metal maniacs who all seem equally thrilled to be questing. What could be cooler than that? So what was it like to step aboard as representatives for Angry Metal Guy Industries? This is our story.1
Disembarkment: From Snowbound to Southbound
Mere days before we were scheduled to fly down to sunny Florida, the massive bomb cyclone winter storm dubbed “Fern” clobbered most of the eastern seaboard and dropped 15 inches of snow on our hometown on Long Island. This scrambled all the central and eastern US airports something fierce, and with news of thousands of canceled flights in the days leading up to the cruise, we stressed mightily that we might not make it to Miami to catch the ship. The 70000 Tons group on Facebook was littered with tragic tales of folks getting their flights cancelled multiple times, with some opting to skip the airports entirely and try to make it by car from faraway locales.2 As the Metal Gods willed it, we got to the airport, made it to a not-very-sunny Florida on time without any hassles. We reported to the Port of Miami the next day, and the adventure began!
Day One: The Aclimationing
After going through the boarding process and nominally attending our safety briefing, beers were enjoyed as Madam X and I toured our new home. Freedom of the Seas is a typical cruise ship, but it was immediately apparent that this would not be a typical cruise. Aside from the ocean of black shirts and battle vests, all the music played over the ship’s sound systems was metal. This was a surprisingly satisfying touch, as I always wondered what it would be like to have my preferred genre played in places like supermarkets, dentist offices, and malls. This shit should be normalized outside of a niche metal cruise event. Hell, even when you turned on your cabin’s TV, there was a channel playing videos of the bands on board 24/7, and when you went to the shopping or cruise map channels, the background music was 120% pure metal. Nir-fucking-vana, folks!
As everyone boarded, got settled in, and the first series of drinks were drunk, the first bands went off at 5:30. As any good primate would do in such circumstances, I chose Vio-Lence since they’re a beloved band from my youth that I never got to see live during their heyday. Prior to the band taking the stage, a stocky, bald gentleman berated a group of people (myself included) for not wearing ear protection. This was laughed off with good nature, and then I realized the man looking out for our aural health was none other than David White, the vocalist of Heathen. It was cool to see the Heathen dudes there showing support for their fellow San Francisco thrashers, and it was a cool way to kick off the festivities. Vio-Lence came out shortly thereafter and proceeded to destroy everyone with loud, vicious renditions of the material off their timeless debut, Eternal Nightmare. They sounded much heavier than expected, and Sean Killian was a man possessed on stage as he delivered the hyperactive and voluminous vocal lines like it was still 1990. They covered almost all of their debut and tossed in “World in a World” and the Dead Kennedys’ classic “California Über Alles” for extra spice, and I left well impressed by how youthful and powerful they sounded.
From there we ducked in to catch Harakiri for the Sky, and though neither Madam X nor I were very familiar with them, they impressed with their atmospheric post-black sound. They reminded me of Agalloch enough to want to visit their catalog, and Madam X was very much enthralled. From there, it was straight to the big theater to see Soen, and I admit to never being much of a fan. They were polished and professional, but their style of radio-friendly hard rock didn’t really fit with the 70000 Tons vibe, and I was bored pretty quickly, though watching Martin Lopez (ex-Opeth) pound away on his kit was entertaining. Things improved greatly when we ducked out to catch Cemetery Skyline, the Scandinavian Goth rock supergroup. Though the material on their Nordic Gothic debut isn’t all that much harder than what Soen do, the energy generated by Mikael Stanne and Markus Vanhala (Insomnium, Omnium Gatherum) was off the charts. The band seemed to be having as much or more fun than the very receptive crowd, and Stanne in particular seemed to be thrilled to be there. The set was electric, and the energy from the crowd was palpable.
Next up was Kamelot, and though I’m a huge fan of their early albums, I haven’t loved the post-Silverthrone output much. The band did their best to put on a lively performance, and Tommy Karevik sounded fine, but the setlist, taken mostly from the last 3 albums, was somewhat uninspiring, and we left after 5-6 songs. After taking time to get food and brewskis, we headed back to the theater to see Anthrax. A beloved band from my youth, it had been a long time since I last saw them live, but they acted and sounded much the same, opening with the timeless “A.I.R.” and leaning heavily on their Spreading the Disease and Among the Living classics. At one point, Joey started singing Judas Priest’s “The Ripper” before launching into “Caught in a Mosh,” and Scott Ian dubbed the 70000 Cruise as “the world’s coolest prison.” These olde thrash dawgs can still bring it, and the packed crowd ate it up (I especially loved them busting out “Be all. End All” from their State of Euphoria platter).
Last up for our first night was a 12:30 am set by the weird and mysterious Kanonenfieber. Support for the band was apparent, with numerous folks onboard rocking plastic versions of the Pickelhaube (the WWI era pointy helmet worn by Prussian and German soldiers), and they’ve received a ton of love and overratings from the AMG staff these past few years. Somehow, though, I never completely bought into what band creator Noise was doing. Until I saw it all done live, that is. With a stage covered in sandbags and barbed wire, the masked trench warriors supporting Noise came out in matching WWI period soldiers’ clothing to play a somber, ominous intro before Noise himself burst out dressed in full Kaiser gear as things erupted into full boar black death insanity. While their style can at times come across as heavier, faster Rammstein, there was no denying how much punch they packed live, and Noise is a very animated, maniacal frontman. He had the crowd eating from his hand despite an entire set in German. Sure, the multiple costume changes were a bit over-the-top, but they fit the narrative of the horrors of war. Thus pummeled and pulverized, it was time to call it a day.
Day Two: Any Port in the Storm
Due to the huge storm that was sweeping up the east coast, the Captain decided that the ship would head straight to Nassau on Friday rather than Saturday, so rather than bands taking the stage by 10 am, they would hold off til 5:30, and wewould be free to leave the ship in the morning and wander around the island. After a few hours sightseeing, we were ready for more molten metal and eager to see Orden Organ kick things off on the newly constructed pool deck stage. Frontman Seeb was injured before the cruise and unable to make the trip, so the band recruited Marc Lopes (Ross the Boss, ex-Metal Church) to fill in. As the ship headed back out ot sea, the band ripped through the big hits of Ogan’s catalog, opening with the massive “F.E.V.E.R.” Dan sounded powerful and convincing, though between songs, he made it clear he was still learning the songs, so not to judge him too harshly. Minus a few missed vocal lines here and there, he did a fine job, got the crowd involved, and seemed really thrilled to be there. As they tore through hits like “The Things We Believe in,” “The Order of Fear,” and “Heart of the Android,” a cold rain began to fall, and by the end of their set, it was getting pretty heavy on the deck.
We retreated to the safety of the sports bar for liquid courage before having to go back out in the rain 45 minutes later to see the mighty Amorphis. The pool deck stage was an open-air rain debacle as they took the stage, and even before Tomi could start roaring, he was drenched and waterlogged. Tomi always looks like a pirate, so it worked for him, and the band sounded as great as ever live, though I felt bad for Santeri Kallio having to constantly wipe off his keyboards as the rain crashed down. The set was tight despite the weather, and they hit all the high points, from gems like “Death of a King” and “The Smoke” to going way back to Tales from the Thousand Lakes to uncork “Black Winter Day.” Nothing can stop these all-weather Finns!
From the deluge, we retreated to see Wolf in the Deck 5 lounge, which is essentially a smallish room without any kind of raised stage. Wolf were game about it and delivered a rowdy set of their NWoBHM-meets power metal, but unless you stood directly in front of them, you couldn’t see jack shit. It was still a good show, aurally at least. We left a bit early to get back to the monsoon deck to see Beast in Black, but their set was moved to 4:15 am due to how awful the weather had become outside. This allowed for a quick detour to catch Ereb Altor at the rink stage, and they were exactly how I imagined they would be: brooding, heavy, and not fucking around at all as they clobbered the crowd with their Viking black metal. As I was swept away to the good olde days of blood eagles and rule by sword, I found myself wondering why the band didn’t also schedule a few sets for Isole, as the same guys are in both bands. Great show, lost opportunity.
From there we beered up and then caught Skeletal Remains back in the lounge, and they were appropriately heavy and caveman as fook. Perhaps the caveman shit went too far as they blasted way past their allotted time, and soon thereafter, rumors started spreading that a certain band member was getting hammered and way too touchy-feely with the female cruisers. This ultimately led to his being confined to his cabin and the band being banned from future 70000 Tons events. After Skeltal Remains decamped, we stayed put in the lounge as up next was none other than the one, the only…Jag Fucking Panzer!! A huge staple of my teen years, these Colorado classic US power metal masters dropped the iconic Ample Destruction back in 1985, and I’ve loved them ever since, but never got to see them live. Because we were hanging around as the band set up, legendary vocalist Harry “the Tyrant” Conklin came over to chat and offered us “Tyrant coins,” which are basically a commemorative Jag Panzer challenge coin. We took them happily and I tried not to be too fanboyish. I also got to speak with founding guitarist Mark Briody, and he was as nice a guy as there is. When Panzer took the stage, they proceeded to rip the crowd a new one with a string of timeless cuts from Ample Destruction and select gems from their later releases. I was floored by how powerful Tyrant’s voice was live, and this was my highlight of the trip thus far. I was very glad we were dead center front row for this one!
After that unbeatable show, we went back up to the pool deck for Kanonenfieber’s second set at 12;30 am, hoping the rain had finally died down. The fates smiled upon Noise, and the skies held off, allowing them to tear through another set of war-horror-themed Germanic madness with Noise commanding the crowd like a battle-hardened general. Though some of the same songs from the first set were done again, it still seemed like a different event entirely, and aside from the odd clash of the masked, uniformed mauraders and the happy, colorful pool deck decorations, it was an immersive open sea air experience.
Day Three: Arctic Winds
Day three was the first where the bands hit the stages early, with some starting at 10:00 am. We dragged ourselves out of bed, got caffenated and made it to the pool deck to see Hiraes take the stage. I hadn’t hear of this Germanic melodeath act until their frontwoman Britta Görtz appeared in the recent Kreator video for “Tränenpalast.” They had an energetic set, and Britta has a shockingly demonic voice for such a charmingly upbeat, tiny woman. Then it was off to catch Wolf in the vastly superior rink stage, and they once again brought the old school metal thunder and showed the crowd how to pull off guitar-driven 80s metal with a touch of Euro-power.
80s Bay Area techno-thrashers Heathen were up next, and they delivered their typically solid, burly set, with frontman David White doing his hyperactive best to stir the theater crowd to violence. Speaking of Vio-Lence, I spotted a few of them in the crowd returning the favor of support. I especially loved when Heathen busted out “Goblin’s Blade” from their 1987 debut, and that song has aged like fine wine. “Hypnotized” was also as great live as ever, and that song should be considered one of the great thrash epics of all time. As we left the theater, Madam X informed me that the vocalist for Heathen was built much like Noise from Kanonenfieber and might be him. And so began several days of speculation as to who the Kanonenfieber guys were and where they might be on the ship.
After food and a merch shopping break, we caught the immortal NWoBHM legends Satan at the rink deck. Long have I wanted to witness them live, and when I finally got my wish, they were even better than I hoped. The ageless Brian Ross sounded like a 25-year-old, hitting all manner of high register wails and screams, often going beyond what was required by the songs. The band was insanely frenetic in a live setting, with guitarists Russ Tippins and Steve Ramsey putting on a shred clinic, sounding like classic Iron Maiden at double speed. They put on a helluva powerful, no-BS metal show, and Ross is a character as a frontman.3
Off to the pool deck we went, thereafter to catch some of Firewind’s set. I wanted to see Gus G wank his way to the moon in person, and I was not disappointed. I was surprised to see Herbie Langhams was performing vocals, and instead, former frontman Henning Basse (ex-Brainstorm, ex-Metallium) was there on stage. Together they plowed through mighty tunes like “Ode to Leonidas” and “I Am the Anger,” with Gus showing why he’s considered one of metal’s top axe masters. The weirdo semi-death, kinda-Goth Tribulation were next. Unfortunately, they were derailed by technical issues and lost some equipment in transit, and opened their set 20 minutes late. Even when they finally got going, they were still plagued by sound issues. They did their best, but they didn’t get to present themselves properly, and things were a bit lackluster overall.
Next was the one and only time Madam X and I had to part company, as she was dying to see Beast in Black and I needed to see Jag Panzer’s second set and both went off at the same time. This Panzer set was a “drop the needle on their classic album Ample Destruction, and I couldn’t miss seeing them run through that from start to finish. This time Jag Panzer got the rink stage, which is far better than the lounge, and once again they brought the crowd to their knees with masterful renditions of cuts like “Licensed to Kill,” “Warfare,” and “Harder Than Steel.” Tyrant once again demonstrated the sheer power and force of his ageless pipes, and they made sure to leave everything on the stage. I even ended up with an official Jag Panzer wristband in the process. Sometimes it’s good to meet your heroes. Madam X was equally blown away by the Beast in Black set, making me wish I had caught that, too.
From there, I raced to the pool deck to catch Paradise Lost. The long-running lords of Peaceville doom put on a solid if somewhat low-key set, drawing from their vast catalog and collection of styles. It wasn’t the most animated set of the cruise, but the songs sounded great, and Nick Holmes was in good form. I appreciated that they didn’t shy away from their Depeche Lost era either.
After that, Anthrax took the pool deck stage, and lo and behold, bassist Frank Bello was missing in action. In his place was a guy who looked a whole lot like Joey Vera of Armored Saint, Fates Warning, etc. Turns out it was Joey filling in, as Frank had to leave the ship to get to LA to accept his Grammy for best Live Rock performance for Yungblud’s rendition of Black Sabbath’s “Changes” at the Back to the Beginning concert. I have no idea how Frank got off the ship or how they mailed Joey in, but he fit right in, and Anthrax did another classic set, even dropping in “Deathrider” from the debut and “In the End” from Worship Music. Queens, NY, represent!
Day Four: Survive and Endure
As the rigors of nonstop metalling slowly began to set in, we arose on day four, opted to eat a quick breakfast, then jumped in a hot tub on the pool deck while they were fresh, clean, and not full of plus-sized, mega-hairy metalheads. Because of our early arrival, we only shared a tub with a very nice Dutch couple, and as we listened to Xandria playing their morning set about 100 feet away, we discussed the Dutch metal scene, the Roadburn festival, and how The Gathering is superior to most other similar acts. Xandria aren’t my cup of tea, and I couldn’t see them from my tub, but they sounded decent enough for a symphonic power metal band.
After tub time, we caught Tyr on the pool deck as they brought Faroian thunder to the high seas. Their burly sound translated well to the setting, and it was all beefy tales of heroism and swordplay, with “By the Sword in My Hand” and “Blood of Heroes” hitting extra hard. It was extra cool to see Jag Panzer’s Mark Briody right up front in the crowd, throwing horns and celebrating the next generation of metal.
Later on, we caught the second set of Satan, and again they burned the stage down around them, then we wandered into the last 15 minutes of Darkane’s set on the pool deck. After that, Madam X convinced me to try Groza’s set, which was a shockingly harrowing blast of misanthropic black metal performed by dudes in hoods who were from Germany. They impressed and furthered the ongoing Kanonenfieber conspiracy mill considerably.
One of the highlights of the event for me was seeing ultimate underdog 80s thrash act Hirax take the stage on the pool deck as the weather turned windy and cold again. Hirax released 2 obscure albums in the mid 80s that I dearly loved because they were so different from everything else out there. Katon Depena was a truly unique vocalist, singing in a strange up and down pattern over short thrashy songs that verged on grindcore. It was both odd and endearing, and my high school friends and I constantly imitated his wonky singing. They were too cult to ever tour near us, so I always wondered what they would be like live. When Hirax stormed the stage, they were everything I expected and then some. Katon was a complete maniac, running all over, climbing the amps, jumping into the crowd, taking a big fur coat from a fan, and rocking it on stage, all as he ripped through a succession of lightning-fast classics. It was one of the craziest sets of the cruise, and the crowd was eating it up. Hail Hirax.
As the ship steered toward the setting sun, Finnish melodoom gods Insomnium took the pool deck stage to deliver a classically melancholic but heavy set as the weather got colder and colder. They were tight, polished, and amusingly enough, complained about how cold it was on the deck. As they started to play “Down With the Sun,” the sun was slowly disappearing below the watery horizon, and with the cold air blowing, it felt like a weirdly Finnish moment on what was billed as a Caribbean cruise.
In the ultimate whiplash kind of switch up, we raced from the Insomnium set to catch Rhapody of Fire launch their nerd-raging dragon power all over the theater stage. As they catapulted into cheddar manufacturing mode, the crowd brandished waves of inflatable swords and hammers like a full-fledged LARP was about to break out. In the middle of the raging orcstorm, vocalist Giacomo Voli went completely bonkers, wailing, screaming, stirring the crowd up, and even stage diving and crowdriding. Somehow, he kept singing as he was held aloft by the rowdy crowd and pummeled with inflatable melee weapons.4 Though I’m not a fan of the band, I couldn’t deny the entertainment factor and the insane charisma of Voli.
The festivities wound down with a 12:30 am Dark Tranquillity set on the pool deck, and as always, Stanne and company were the consummate professionals, doling out the classic melodeath goods as only they can. Stanne sounded superb and in his glory, and the band put on an appropriately massive cap to a great cruise. After their set, Andy, the man behind the whole event, took the stage to thank all who attended and braved the often-bad weather to enjoy the massive metal spectacle. It was a bittersweet moment, as the 4 days flew by in a crazy blur and now were coming to an end.
Final Thoughts:
70000 Tons of Metal is an extremely well-organized and run event, and it was attended by a large assortment of metal fans who came to have a good time and make memories. I saw no fights, no really bad behavior (aside from certain band-related allegations), and was shocked that I saw so few people hammered into an alcoholic stupor. If you haven’t considered making the trip, you should. It can be pricey, but it’s an amazing time and unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced. I went expecting it to be something you do once, but now I want to make it a yearly tradition. I highly recommend it, even if you only like half of the scheduled line-up. Thank you to the ever-amazing Madam X for organizing the trip for us and for being the best possible partner to share the insanity with. You complete me.
Funniest Moment:
-When Madam X and I were waiting for an elevator, one opened up, and standing right in front was Brian Ross of Satan. Madam X was star-struck and loudly exclaimed, “SATAN!” Mr. Ross smiled and waved.
-Everyone complaining there was no Kanonenfieber meet and greet.
Band We Missed:
Vader and Saturnus were cursed with late-night slots we just couldn’t get to. We feel great shame.
Biggest Gripe:
The weird and draconian merch rules made even a simple viewing of the band’s wares a huge hassle.
Biggest Surprise:
I wasn’t even close to being the oldest person there!
Post Ship Depression Syndrome:
It’s a real thing. You feel out of sorts and miss the weird pacing and running between sets all day and night.
#2026 #Amorphis #Anthrax #BeastInBlack #BlogPost #CemeterySkyline #DarkTranquillity #Darkane #ErebAltor #Firewind #Groza #HarakiriForTheSky #Heathen #Hiraes #Hirax #Insomnium #JagPanzer #Kamelot #Kanonenfieber #MadnessOnTheHighSeasTheAMGEldersBrave70000TonsOfMetal #OrdenOgan #ParadiseLost #RhapodyOfFire #Satan #Saturnus #SkeletalRemains #Soen #Tribulation #Tyr #Vader #VioLence #Wolf #Xandria -
RT by @EUKommWien: „Der Westen gegen Putin – Ist der Ukraine-Krieg noch zu gewinnen?“
Heute bei @reiterec #imZentrum: @MartinSelmayr (@EUKommWien), ukr. Botschafter in Ö @VKhymynets, Barbara Stelzl-Marx (@UniGraz), @t_roithner (@univienna @IFORAustria) & Oberst Markus Reisner II 22:10 ORF2
🐦🔗: https://nitter.cz/ORFImZentrum/status/1736442625337557314#m
[2023-12-17 17:45 UTC]
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Who Are These Clowns and Where Did They Put My Flesh Stapler? The AMG Staff Pick Their Top Ten(ish) of 2025 By Steel Druhm
Listurnalia is now upon us once again! If you are not ready to be assailed by non-stop lists and bad opinions for the next week and change, I suggest you get fooking ready! Listurnalia cannot be stopped, nor contained. It can only be tolerated and endured!
More than any year in recent history, 2025 saw more seasoned staffers step away from writing duties due to time constraints and life changes. To compensate for the loss of these slackwagoning quitters and shirkers, we added a gaggle of fresh new voices. This made for a bittersweet time around these parts as long-time friends departed and a bunch of untested, unknowns rose through the brutal n00b gauntlet to seize the means of promo production. These greenhorn neophytes have created great havoc at AMG HQ with their terrible taste, inability to follow directions, and steadfast refusal to ignore deathcore.
We’ve been here before, though, and we always straighten out the newbie upstarts. The daily beatings, deprivations, and absence of positive reinforcement will wear them down, and if not, we have plenty of space in the rotpit out back. This is, and will ever be, the AMG modality.
2026 will be an interesting year as the new crew members are shepherded by the olde while everyone is crushed beneath the iron heel of AMG management. Who will make it to 2027? Who will be sold off to Metal Wani for a box of bananas and Gorilla Glue? Place your bets in the official AMG Survival Pool!
As you read the Top Ten(ish) lists below, remember, reading our content is free, but you get what you pay for.
Grymm
#10. Venomous Echoes // Dysmor
#9. Blut Aus Nord // Ethereal Horizons
#8. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#7. Structure // Heritage
#6. Lorna Shore // I Feel The Everblack Festering Within Me
#5. Sigh // I Saw The World’s End – Hangman’s Hymn MMXXV
#4. Imperial Triumphant // Goldstar
#3. Am I In Trouble? // Spectrum
#2. Dax Riggs // 7 Songs for Spiders
#1. Paradise Lost // Ascension – I fully expected Paradise Lost to come out with quality music, which has been mostly par for the course in their storied almost-40-year career, and no one could blame them if they decided to coast along on their legendary sound. Instead, Ascension sees them giving a masterclass in songcraft and atmosphere, showing everyone, everywhere, how it’s done. With Black Sabbath now officially put to rest, Anathema long gone, and whatever the fuck is happening within My Dying Bride these days, somebody has to fly the British Doom flag high and proud, and Paradise Lost have done a bang-up job of doing so.Personal Highlight o’ the Year: Seeing Acid Bath live. I may or may not have cried during “Venus Blue,” and no, I don’t fucking care. 19-Year-Old me was pleased as punch that 48-Year-Old me got to see a legendary band (and one of his personal favorites) come back from tragedy to pay tribute to their fallen bassist and friend, Audie Pitre, by giving it another long-awaited go.
Disappointment(s) o’ the Year:
- Losing so many influential heroes (RIP Ozzy Osbourne, Ace Frehley, and Tomas Lindberg, among too many others)
- My health: I was hoping to be a lot more active this year, but early on, I needed to, in the immortal words of David Lynch, “fix (my) heart or die.”1 Thankfully, after surgery, I feel a million times better, so you should see a lot more of me in 2026. You have been warned.
Song o’ the Year:
- Paradise Lost // “Salvation”
El Cuervo
#ish. Astronoid // Stargod
#10. Ollie Wride // The Pressure Point
#9. Kauan // Wayhome
#8. Zéro Absolu // La Saignée
#7. Mutagenic Host // The Diseased Machine
#6. Asira // As Ink in Water
#5. Bruit // The Age of Ephemerality
#4. Saor // Amidst the Ruins
#3. The Midnight // Syndicate
#2. Steven Wilson // The Overview
#1. Messa // The Spin – In a year replete with comfort picks—progressive rock, synthwave, and death metal abound—how is that Italy’s enigmatic, inscrutable Messa forged my Album o’ the Year? The Spin doesn’t take the trouble to make itself easily approachable. Doom, prog, and post influences circle around velvety melodies that sometimes sound like deliberate songs, and sometimes like jazz improvisation. But it’s these very qualities that belie its subtle allure; only with repetition and attention does The Spin shine. Messa gradually reveals rhythmic motifs, instrumental nuances, and rich compositions that enhance my life on so many days. “The Dress,” especially, is stunning. And though the record’s loungey whimsy defies metal conventions, each track prizes genuine grit through its top-drawer guitar riffs. With the devotion it demands, no record from 2025 was more rewarding than The Spin.Honorable Mentions:
- Décryptal – Simulacre
- An Abstract Illusion – The Sleeping City
- Puteraeon – Mountains of Madness
- Hasard – Abgnose
Song o’ the Year:
- Ambush – “Maskirovka”
GardensTale
#ish. Structure // Heritage
#10. In Mourning //The Immortal
#9. Flummox // Southern Progress
#8. Der Weg Einer Freiheit // Innern
#7. Nephylim // Circuition
#6. Besna // Krásno
#5. Messa // The Spin
#4. Labyrinthus Stellarum // Rift in Reality
#3. Gazpacho // Magic 8 Ball
#2. Dormant Ordeal// Tooth & Nail
#1. Moron Police // Pachinko — I was a little nervous when I first read about the length and ambition behind Pachinko, especially in the context of the incredible and very concise A Boat on the Sea. I’ve never been this happy to be this wrong. Nothing in the last decade has overtaken my life as much as Pachinko has, and I’m listening to it yet again as I write this, and will probably restart it once it finishes. Pachinko has a lot in common with Everything Everywhere All At Once, one of my all-time favorite films, as a treatise on the chaos of life and the importance of friends and family. It treats its philosophy of silliness very seriously, laughing in the face of darkness in such a beautiful and inspiring way; it brightens my life every time I hear it. And it does all that in tribute to a dear friend who was gone too soon and too suddenly, and no other eulogistic album has let me feel like its subject’s soul touched mine. An astounding monument to friendship on top of an incredibly accomplished hour of music. Pachinko is a miracle.Honorable Mentions:
- Hangover in Minsk // Party is Over
- 1914 // Viribus Unitis
- Bianca // Bianca
- Fange // Purulences
- An Abstract Illusion // The Sleeping City
- Blindfolded // What Seeps Through Threads
Song o’ the Year:
- Moron Police – “Giving up the Ghost”
Non-metal Albums of the Year:
- Lorde // Virgin
- Jonathan Hultén // Eyes of the Living Night
- Shayfer James // Summoning
Mark Z.
#ish. Malefic Throne // The Conquering Darkness
#10. Urn // Demon Steel
#9. Teitanblood // From the Visceral Abyss
#8. Shed the Skin // The Carnage Cast Shadows
#7. Guts // Nightmare Fuel
#6. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#5. Perdition Temple // Malign Apotheosis
#4. Paradise Lost // Ascension
#3. Revocation // New Gods, New Masters
#2. Death Yell // Demons of Lust
#1. Abominator // The Fire Brethren – It took me a few years after hearing this Australian duo’s last album, 2015’s Evil Proclaimed, to realize I was wrong about them. Their raw and relentless black-death metal wasn’t just good, it was fucking awesome. With their long-awaited sixth album, The Fire Brethren, Abominator has conjured flames that reach higher than ever. As always, the enraged rasps, scorching riffs, and endlessly pummeling rhythms are like plumes of hellfire shot directly into your ear canals. But amidst the bludgeoning is some genuinely great songwriting, with deep-cutting hooks (“The Templar’s Curse,” “Underworld Vociferations”), flashes of melody (“Progenitors of the Insurrection of Satan”), thrashy breaks (“Sulphur from the Heavens”), and just enough variety to keep everything hitting as hard as possible. It’s not for everyone, but for those into Angelcorpse and other music of that sort, The Fire Brethren is the type of album you just can’t get enough of.Honorable Mention:
- Blasphamagoatachrist // Bestial Abominator
Song (Title) o’ the Year:
- Omegavortex – “Dystopian Worldrape”
Song o’ the Year:
- Fugitive – “Spheres of Virulence”
Carcharodon
#ish. Dax Riggs // 7 Songs for Spiders
#10. Novarupta // Astral Sands
#9. Atlantic // Timeworn
#8. Structure // Heritage
#7. Agriculture // The Spiritual Sound
#6. Igorr // Amen
#5. Messa // The Spin
#4. Abigail Williams // A Void Within Existence
#3. Cave Sermon // Fragile Wings
#2. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#1. Grima // Nightside – In each of 2019, 2021, and 2022, Grima released an album and, in each of those years, I listed said album (#5, HM, and #10). But this year, the year in which I have listened to the least metal and, of course, written the least since I started here in 2018, is also the year that Grima got everything dialled in to just what I want from a Grima album. On Nightside, the duo struck the perfect balance between the traditional influences of 2019’s Will of the Primordial and the propulsive, frozen atmosphere of Frostbitten (2022). The combination gives Nightside an almost hypnotic and weirdly tranquil flow, offset by Vilhelm’s rasping vocals, which remain among the best in the BM game. Every time I come back to this record, and the title track in particular, it’s even better than I remember it being, and I always end up spinning three or more times back-to-back. An album that can keep playing that trick deserves its #1 spot in my book.Honorable Mentions:
- An Abstract Illusion // The Sleeping City
- Gorycz // Zasypia
- Psychonaut // World Maker
- Wardruna // Birna
Songs o’ the Year:
- Messa – “Fire on the Roof”
- Novarupta – “Now Here We Are (At the Inevitable End)”
Mysticus Hugebeard
#10. Orbit Culture // Death Above Life
#9. An Abstract Illusion // The Sleeping City
#8. Qrixkuor // The Womb of the World
#7. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#6. Panopticon // Laurentian Blue
#5. Blackbraid // Blackbraid III
#4. Arkhaaik // Uihtis
#3. Kauan // Wayhome
#2. Wardruna // Birna
#1. Thumos // The Trial of Socrates – I recall groggily stumbling upon Thumos’ The Trial of Socrates at work one early morning, and I’m not sure if I’ve grown attached to it or it’s grown attached to me. It looms in my periphery, routinely interrupting my listening schedule for just one more spin. This gargantuan dive into ancient Greek philosophy and justice is melodically rich, laden with atmosphere, and fiercely intelligent. I love how this album stimulates my curiosity. I pore over The Trial of Socrates like a madman, piecing the puzzle together with feverish glee but never quite feeling finished, because every re-listen yields new shapes, new colors, new ideas. It eggs me on to research various topics on ancient Greek history or philosophy, and even made for an unlikely study partner during my long preparations for the German A1 exam. I always feel smarter by the end of it—hubris, I’m sure, but The Trial of Socrates genuinely sparks my imagination in ways few albums do. Time to go listen to “The Phædo” for the zillionth time.Honorable Mentions:
- Night Flight Orchestra // Give Us The Moon
- Mutagenic Host // The Diseased Machine
Songs o’ the Year:
- Disarmonia Mundi – “Outcast”
The Dormant Stranger by Disarmonia Mundi
- Jamie Page & Marcy Nabors – “Do No Harm (Ventricular Mix)”
Do No Harm by Jamie Paige, Marcy Nabors, & Penny Parker
- Thumos – “The Phædo”
The Trial of Socrates by Thumos
Disappointment(s) o’ the year:
- The dissolution of Ante-Inferno: After Death’s Soliloquy topped my list last year, I was genuinely gutted to see Ante-Inferno’s post that they were no more. Still, I shall not weep but rather smile that they happened, because Ante-Inferno was a rare breed of genuinely moving black metal. Just that one album rooted itself so deeply within me, and I will be listening for a long time.
- Arno Menses leaving Subsignal: Man, fuck. Fuck. Remember my nuclear-grade glaze of Subsignal, where I might as well have said Menses’ voice single-handedly justified the entire existence of music? How could I not break down in heaving sobs in the middle of this Denny’s when I heard that Menses and Subsignal have parted ways? It sucks, I tell ya. I will still listen to what Subsignal puts out in the future, because Markus Steffen is a talented musician, but it’s going to be a huge adjustment since Menses is nigh irreplaceable.
Samguineous Maximus
#ish. Imperial Triumphant // Goldstar
#10. Primitive Man // Observance
#9. Motherless // Do You Feel Safe?
#8. Deafheaven // Lonely People with Power
#7. Weeping Sores // The Convalescence Agonies
#6. Between the Buried and Me // The Blue Nowhere
#5. Calva Louise // Edge of the Abyss
#4. 1914 // Viribus Unitis
#3. Crippling Alcoholism // Camgirl
#2. Crippling Alcoholism // Bible Songs II
#1. Yellow Eyes // Confusion Gate – Yellow Eyes are one of the best black metal bands in the game, and Confusion Gate is their most impressive work to date. It sees the band return to a more traditional atmospheric sound, but with the lessons learned from their explorations of dissonance and ambience. The result is a kaleidoscopic blend of gorgeous melodies, haunting riffs, and a pervasive sense of pathos that only the best art can achieve. Confusion Gate feels like communing with nature from the top of a wintry peak, embodying both impossible grandeur and awesome terror. This is a record that bypasses the analytical reviewer’s brain and just hits me right in the feeling. It offers a unique catharsis in a year where I truly needed it.Honorable Mentions
- Flummox // Southern Progress
- Hexrot // Formless Ruin of Oblivion
- Ava Mendoza/Gabby fluke-Mogal/Carolina Pérez // Mama Killa
- Strigiform // Aconite
Song o’ the Year:
- Crippling Alcoholism – “Ladies Night”
Spicie Forrest
#ish. Cryptopsy // An Insatiable Violence
#10. Crimson Shadows // Whispers of War
#9. Oromet // The Sinking Isle
#8. -ii- // Apostles of the Flesh
#7. Suncraft // Welcome to the Coven
#6. Suncraft // Profanation of the Adamic Covenant
#5. Chestcrush // ΨΥΧΟΒΓΑΛΤΗΣ
#4. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#3. Qrixkuor // The Womb of the World
#2. Primitive Man // Observance
#1. Wytch Hazel // V: Lamentations – I know, I’m surprised too. But the bottom line is that I’ve been listening to V: Lamentations front to back at least once a week since it released on the most American of holidays, July 4th. For Steel, Wytch Hazel’s latest didn’t have the same staying power as previous efforts, but Lamentations is the first to truly resonate with me. Though musically consistent with their Wishbone Ash-meets-Eagles style, vocalist Colin Hendra brings a new sense of passion to the record, and the interplay between instruments, vocals, and lyrics hits me like a lightning bolt. Very possibly inspired by the core Christian tenet laid out in Romans 6:23-24,2 Lamentations is a masterful portrayal of what it means to perpetually fail, to know you’ll never be good enough, and in the face of a salvation that renders all efforts, deeds, and accomplishments worthless, to keep striving toward the impossible anyway. Even for godless sinners like me, Lamentations is a beautiful reminder that purpose is found in hardship, that the journey is the goal, and that falling down is merely an opportunity to stand up again.Honorable Mentions:
- Proscription // Desolate Divine
- Apocalypse Orchestra // A Plague upon Thee
- Messa // The Spin
- Bloodywood // Nu Delhi
- Pedestal for Leviathan // Enter: Vampyric Manifestation
Song o’ the Year:
- Yellowcard – “honestly i”
Grin Reaper
(ish) Sallow Moth // Mossbane Lantern
#10. Turian // Blood Quantum Blues
#9. Calva Louise // Edge of the Abyss
#8. Lychgate // Precipice
#7. An Abstract Illusion // The Sleeping City
#6. Thron // Vurias
#5. Structure // Heritage
#4. Species // Changelings
#3. Havukruunu // Tavastland
#2. Aephanemer // Utopie
#1. 1914 // Viribus Unitis – I didn’t know Viribus Unitis would be my top album of the year the first time I listened to it, but I knew it would list. 1914’s naked emotion and rousing story of a Ukrainian soldier’s survival through World War I, reconciliation with his family, and inescapable return to war remains as gripping and bittersweet now as it did the first time I heard it. Across adrenaline-fueled riffing, oppressive marches, and somber dirges, 1914 never relents on musical or lyrical weight. Though Viribus Unitis was released late in the year, it quickly became the standard I used to appraise albums while going through listing season. 1914 paints war-torn life with savage grace, supplying devastating melody and grueling crawls that elevate the album to such heights that I’m genuinely moved each time I get to the end. Viribus Unitis is bleak, raw, and human, but for all that, I’m never deterred from listening. Ultimately, 1914 clutches the threads of hope and weaves an aural tapestry that brings tragedy and triumph to life, cementing Viribus Unitis as my undisputed top album of 2025.
Honorable Mentions:- Walg // V
- Moron Police // Pachinko
- Defigurement // Endbryo
- Ültra Raptör // Fossilized
- Igorrr // Amen
Songs o’ the Year:
- Aephanemer – “Le Cimetière Marin”
- 1914 – “1918 Pt. III: ADE (A Duty to Escape)”
Andy-War-Hall
#ish: Dragon Skull // Chaos Fire Vengeance
#10: Changeling // Changeling
#9: Steel Arctus // Dreamruler
#8: Abigail Williams //A Void Within Existence
#7: Petrified Giant // Endless Ark
#6: Imperial Triumphant // Goldstar
#5: Structure // Heritage
#4: Lipoma // No Cure for the Sick
#3: Crippling Alcoholism // Camgirl
#2: Hexrot // Formless Ruin of Oblivion
#1: 1914 // Viribus Unitis – Immersion defines great music and art for me. It is almost unfortunate how good 1914 are in this facet of their music. Their ability to transport the listener to the battlefield in all its violence, both carnal and psychological, is stupefying. The utter dehumanizing hatred with “1914 (The Siege of Przemyśl),” the ravenous bloodlust of “1917 (The Isonzo Front),” the hellish wails haunting “1918 Pt. 1 (WIA – Wounded in Action):” all portrayed vividly through 1914’s brilliantly caustic and composed musicianship and deeply personal lyricism. When Dmytro Ternushchak bellows “For three days / The Russians attacked / And accomplished nothing but / 40,000 dead pigs” [“1914 (The Siege of Przemyśl)”], it’s all you need to get into his character’s violent headspace. When 1914 mournfully sing in Ukrainian “Це моя земля”3 [1915 (Easter Battle for the Zwinin Ridge)], you grasp how someone could put their life on the line for kin and country. When our soldier sings “My little girl reached out to me / But duty calls” [1919 (The Home Where I Died)]… well, shit, your heart just has to break, right? 1914 don’t play “history metal.” Viribus Unitis is as present and relevant as you can get.Honorable Mentions:
- Fell Omen // Caelid Dog Summer
- Ophelion // The Jaunt
- Coroner // Dissonance Theory
- Starscourge // Conqueror of the Stars – Betwixt Sundered Seraphim, the Lands Between Bleed
Song o’ the Year:
- Fell Omen – “The Fire is Still Warm”
Lavender Larcenist
#ish Spiritbox // Tsunami Sea
#10. Sold Soul // Just Like That, I Disappear Entirely
#9. Calva Louise // Edge of the Abyss
#8. Dying Wish // Flesh Stays Together
#7. Grima // Nightside
#6. Aversed // Erasure of Color
#5. Deafheaven // Lonely People With Power
#4. Ghost Bath // Rose Thorn Necklace
#3. Changeling // Changeling
#2. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#1. Crippling Alcoholism // Camgirl – Sometimes you listen to music, and you feel like it gets you. Camgirl was exactly that type of album, and it probably doesn’t say anything good about me. Ever since Crippling Alcoholism’s latest graced my ears and I shared it with my partner, we have been singing “I fucking hate the way I look, yeah I look like a fat fucking scumbag” way too often and mumbling “Mr. Ran away, ran away from family” every chance we get. The album is dripping with the atmosphere of neon-lit back rooms, seedy interactions, and terrible decision-making. It feels like a lens into the lives of those society has left behind, and I can’t help but feel a connection. The self-destructive nihilism, drugged-out sex, and abrupt violence that is all too common in those on the margins of life is something I think more and more we can all relate to, and Camgirl is the art that mirrors society back to us. As a result, it is an album that is just as ugly as it is terrifying and beautiful.
Honorable Mentions:- Shadow of Intent // Imperium Delirium
- Pupil Slicer // Fleshwork
- 1914 // Viribus Unitis
Song o’ the Year:
- Crippling Alcoholism – “bedrot”
Creeping Ivy
#ish. Nite // Cult of the Serpent Sun
#10. Blackbraid // Blackbraid III
#9. Flummox // Southern Progress
#8. 1914 // Viribus Unitis
#7. Cave Sermon // Fragile Wings
#6. Saor // Amidst the Ruins
#5. Imperial Triumphant // Goldstar
#4. Phantom Spell // Heather & Hearth
#3. Coroner // Dissonance Theory
#2. Messa // The Spin
#1. Havukruunu // Tavastland – On their Bandcamp page, Havukruunu explain the concept of their fourth LP: ‘Tavastland tells how in 1237 the Tavastians rose in rebellion against the church of Christ and drove the popes naked into the frost to die.’ Sounds like the metal album of 2025 to me! But I didn’t crown Tavastland for its lyrics that I can’t understand. As Dr. A.N. Grier has been exhorting for a decade, Havukruunu stands as a model of Viking black metal consistency, having dropped only very good-to-great albums since 2015. Tavastland isn’t a radical improvement over 2020’s Uinuous syömein sota, but it’s an (arguably excellent) improvement nonetheless, making it Havukruunu’s finest work yet. Yes, these fiery Finns forge sounds reminiscent of Bathory and Immortal, but Tavastland seized my attention for its adventurous prog sensibilities. Some of this can be attributed to the return of Hümo, whose bass rattles like the four strings of Geddy Lee. But the prog is deep in the album craft, from the overture-style modulations of opener “Kuolematon laulunhenki” to the extended guitar wankery of closer “De miseriis fennorum.” Now if only I can learn Finnish, I’ll be able to appreciate the killer anti-popery narrative while headbanging to my Record o’ 2025.Honorable Mentions:
- Am I in Trouble? // Spectrum
- Blut Aus Nord // Ethereal Horizons
- In Mourning // The Immortal
- Oromet // The Sinking Isle
- Wyatt E. // Zamāru Ultu Qereb Ziqquratu Part 1
Song o’ the Year:
- Phantom Spell – “The Autumn Citadel”
Baguette of Bodom
#ish. In the Woods… // Otra
#10. Species // Changelings
#9. Dragon Skull // Chaos Fire Vengeance
#8. A-Z // A2Z²
#7. Apocalypse Orchestra // A Plague upon Thee
#6. Amorphis // Borderland
#5. Dolmen Gate // Echoes of Ancient Tales
#4. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#3. Amalekim // Shir Hashirim
#2. Suotana // Ounas II
#1. Buried Realm // The Dormant Darkness – Melodic tech death? Symphonic power metal? Who knows! Much like my 2025 in general, The Dormant Darkness has a bit of everything in one gigantic clusterfuck. The great news is, neither I nor the album crumbled under all that weight. In a year full of odd twists and turns, my list became more varied and unusual than ever. Buried Realm took this variety and gave me everything I like about metal in one dense package: blazing speeds, soaring guitars, majestic vocals, and relentless fury. It’s also inexplicably well-produced for how many layers there are to deal with. While 2025 was not a particularly star-studded release year—especially compared to most of the 2020s so far—it threw plenty of fun curveballs at me, and The Dormant Darkness exemplifies this with its Xothian fusion of metal subgenres in one big Ophidian I blender ov shred. I would also like to request several Christian Älvestam features on every album, please.Honorable Mentions:
- Victim of Fire // The Old Lie
- Dawn of Solace // Affliction Vortex
- Dynazty // Game of Faces
- Coroner // Dissonance Theory
- Hooded Menace // Lachrymose Monuments of Obscuration
Song o’ the Year:
- Dragon Skull – “Blood and Souls”
Chaos Fire Vengeance by Dragon Skull
#1914 #2025 #AZ #AbigailWilliams #Abominator #Aephanemer #Agriculture #AmIInTrouble #Amalekim #Ambush #Amorphis #AnAbstractIllusion #ApocalypseOrchestra #Arkhaaik #Asira #Astronoid #Atlantic #AvaMendozaGabbyFlukeMogalCarolinaPérez #Aversed #Besna #BetweenTheBuriedAndMe #Bianca #Blackbraid #Blasphamagoatachrist #Blindfolded #BlogLists #Bloodywood #BlutAusNord #Bruit #BuriedRealm #CalvaLouise #CaveSermon #Changeling #Chestcrush #Coroner #CrimsonShadows #CripplingAlcoholism #DawnOfSolace #DaxRiggs #Deafheaven #DeathYell #Décryptal #Defigurement #DerWegEinerFreiheit #DolmenGate #DormantOrdeal #DragonSkull #DyingWish #Dynazty #Fange #FellOmen #Flummox #Gazpacho #GhostBath #Gorycz #Grima #Guts #HangoverInMinsk #Hasard #Havukruunu #Hexrot #HoodedMenace #Igorr #Igorrr #II #ImperialTriumphant #JonathanHultén #Kauan #LabyrinthusStellarum #Lipoma #Lists #Lorde #LornaShore #Lychgate #MaleficThrone #Messa #MoronPolice #Motherless #MutagenicHost #Nephylim #NightFlightOrchestra #Nite #Novarupta #OllieWride #Ophelion #OrbitCulture #Oromet #Panopticon #ParadiseLost #PedestalForLeviathan #PerditionTemple #PetrifiedGiant #PhantomSpell #PrimitiveMan #Proscription #Psychonaut #PupilSlicer #Puteraeon #Qrixkuor #Revocation #SallowMoth #Saor #ShadowOfIntent #ShayferJames #ShedTheSkin #Sigh #SoldSoul #Species #Spiritbox #Starscourge #SteelArctus #StevenWilson #Strigiform #Structure #Suncraft #Suotana #Teitanblood #TheAMGStaffPickTheirTopTenIshOf2025 #TheMidnight #Thron #Thumos #Turian #ÜltraRaptör #Urn #VenomousEchoes #VictimOfFire #Walg #Wardruna #WeepingSores #WyattE #WytchHazel #YellowEyes #Yellowcard #ZéroAbsolu -
Wie könnte eine demokratische Alternative zur Macht der Internet-Oligopole aussehen?
Im internationalen Vergleich verfügt Deutschland – trotz aller Tendenzen zur Konzentration und trotz aller Einsparungsmaßnahmen – nach wie vor über eine im internationalen Vergleich unter Vielfalts-und Qualitätsgesichtspunkten starke Medienlandschaft.
Doch dieser Zustand ist in Gefahr. Denn seit gerade mal 25 Jahren – nämlich seit Tim Berners-Lee das World Wide Web erfunden hat – erleben wir einen grundlegenden Umbruch unseres Mediensystems.
Zwar weichen die Angaben über die Mediennutzung, über die Reichweite und über die Wirkung der einzelnen Medien je nach Untersuchung ein wenig voneinander ab, aber die Tendenz ist eindeutig: Vor allem, wenn man auf die nachfolgende Generation schaut, verlieren die herkömmlichen Medien, insbesondere die Zeitungen, aber auch das Radio und sowohl das öffentlich-rechtliche wie auch das private Fernsehen dramatisch an Bedeutung – zumal für die Verbreitung von Informationen -, während das Medium Internet als Kommunikationsplattform kontinuierlich zunimmt.
Das gilt sowohl im Hinblick auf
- die Nutzungsmöglichkeiten,
- die Nutzungszeit
als auch in Bezug auf
- das Meinungsbildungsgewicht.
Inzwischen hat das Internet als Kommunikationsmittel sogar die Führungsrolle gegenüber den herkömmlichen Medien übernommen.
Die Zeitungsverlage strangulieren sich selbst
Die tägliche Auflage der Tageszeitungen ist von rund 27 Millionen seit Anfang der 90er Jahre auf knapp 11 Millionen, also auf fast ein Drittel gesunken. Die Auflage der mit einem Marktanteil von über 17 Prozent nach wie vor meistgelesenen Zeitung in Deutschland, nämlich von Springers BILD, hat sich in den letzten 10 Jahren auf etwas über 800-Tausend Exemplare täglich nahezu halbiert. Auch die auflagenstärksten überregionalen Tageszeitungen stürzten in der letzten Dekade um über 100.000 Exemplare pro Werktag ab. Die FAZ auf 192.000 Exemplare, das sind 2,2 Prozent Marktanteil. Das Gleiche gilt für die Süddeutsche Zeitung, die auf knapp 281.000 Exemplare und damit auf einen Marktanteil von 3,9 Prozent zurückging. Springers Welt verkauft sich täglich nur noch zu knapp 36.000 mal und liegt inzwischen hinter der taz.
In 40% der Kommunen droht ein Sterben der Lokalzeitungen.
Derselbe Negativtrend besteht auch bei Nachrichtenmagazinen und Publikumszeitschriften.
Verkaufte der „Spiegel“ 1995 noch über eine Million Exemplare, so waren es 2023 nur noch etwas über 700 Tausend. Noch dramatischer büßte seit Mitte der 90er Jahre der „Focus“ an Auflage ein, nämlich mit einem Rückgang von 715.500 Exemplaren auf etwas über 237.000 Hefte. Geradezu dramatisch sackte der „stern“ ab, nämlich von 1,25 Millionen auf 310.400 Exemplare. Schon heute stammt etwa mehr als die Hälfte aller verkauften Zeitungsexemplare aus nur noch zehn Verlagsgruppen.
Bei den Druckmedien hält einzig der Buchmarkt einigermaßen seine Stellung. Zwar hat sich die Auflage der sog. E-Paper seit ihrem Start im Jahre 2011 auf insgesamt 2,5 Millionen verzwanzigfacht, die Vertriebserlöse der digitalen Zeitungen können jedoch – bisher jedenfalls – die sinkenden Erlöse bei den meisten gedruckten Zeitungen nicht ausgleichen. Die Erträge liegen insgesamt betrachtet noch im einstelligen Prozentbereich der Gesamterlöse der Verlage. Gegen die weit verbreitete „Kostenlos-Mentalität“ der Internet-Nutzer haben es bezahlpflichtige Angebote noch schwer. Nur noch die Hälfte der lesefähigen Bevölkerung greift täglich zu einer gedruckten Zeitung. Nur noch jeder Fünfte (nämlich 21 %) nutzt Printmedien als Nachrichtenquelle. Und die Zeit, die für ihre Lektüre aufgebracht wird, ist gleichfalls kontinuierlich zurückgegangen.
Ein Teufelskreis: Je kleiner die Auflagen der Zeitungen, desto geringer die Werbeeinnahmen, desto kleiner die Redaktionen, desto weniger tiefschürfend die Berichterstattung, desto geringer die journalistische Qualität und – im Ergebnis – desto größer der Verlust an Glaubwürdigkeit und damit wiederum der Verlust an verkaufter Auflage.
Ein Demokratie-Monitoring der Universität Hohenheim hat ermittelt, dass ein Fünftel bis ein Viertel der Bundesbürger meinen, dass sie von den klassischen Massenmedien systematisch belogen werden, dass die Medien und die Politik Hand in Hand arbeiten und nur das bringen, was die Herrschenden vorgeben, um die Bevölkerung zu manipulieren. Nebenbei bemerkt: Unter den AfD-Anhängern sind sogar um die 80 Prozent dieser Meinung. Die „Lügenpresse“-Parolen sind im Osten Deutschlands weiter verbreitet als im Westen.
Angesichts der derzeit negativen und besorgniserregenden Nachrichtenlage lässt sich darüber hinaus beobachten, dass ein immer größer werdender Teil der Bevölkerung sich von Informationen abwendet und sich ins Private zurückzieht. Mit dieser „News Avoidance“ – wie das neudeutsch heißt – könnte das gemeinsam geteilte WIR in der Gesellschaft schwinden. Wir erleben einen – wie der Chef des Instituts der Deutschen Wirtschaft, Michael Hüther, es nannte – schleichenden „Abschied von der Öffentlichkeit“.
Die Zeitungsverlage sind dabei, sich selbst zu strangulieren. Dabei wäre – wie das frühere Mitglied der Chefredaktion der Süddeutschen Zeitung, Heribert Prantl, zurecht meint – die große Frage nicht, wie schafft man Klicks, Reichweite, Auflage? Die entscheidende Frage laute vielmehr: Wie schafft man Vertrauen? Dann kämen auch wieder Klicks, Reichweite und Auflage.
In vielen europäischen Staaten gibt es inzwischen eine direkte oder indirekte Presseförderung, etwa über eine Subventionierung des Vertriebs oder mittels eines reduzierten Mehrwertsteuersatzes. Obwohl es schon 2020 einen Beschluss des Bundestags gab, die Zeitungsverlage mit 220 Millionen pro Jahr zu unterstützen, konnte die Förderung der digitalen Transformation des Verlagswesens in Deutschland noch nicht umgesetzt werden.
Großes Vertrauen in das öffentlich-rechtliche Fernsehen
Das Vertrauen in die Medien ist allgemein rückläufig und lag 2023 bei nur noch bei 46 Prozent der Befragten. Dieser Vertrauensverlust trifft auch das öffentlich-rechtliche Fernsehen, aber nach zahlreichen Umfragen vertrauen den beitragsfinanzierten Sendern immer noch zwischen 60 und 70 Prozent der Befragten als Institution und gut zwei Drittel halten die Programme für glaubwürdig. Wobei das Vertrauen der Ostdeutschen deutlich niedriger liegt – nämlich bei 41%.
Dabei erreichten im letzten Jahr das ZDF einen Marktanteil von 14,6 Prozent, die Dritten Programme der ARD zusammengenommen einen Anteil von 13,8 Prozent, das Erste einen Anteil von 11,9 Prozent. Mit etwas Abstand folgen RTL mit 10 Prozent, deutlich geringer ist die Reichweite von Vox gleichauf mit Sat.1 mit 4,7 Prozent, ProSieben mit 3,0 Prozent Marktanteil. Obwohl über 80 Prozent der Befragten der Meinung sind, dass der öffentlich-rechtliche Rundfunk unverzichtbar sei und einen wichtigen Beitrag zur Meinungsbildung leiste, würden inzwischen 42 Prozent der Bürger den Rundfunkbeitrag nicht freiwillig bezahlen. Weitaus weniger glaubwürdig werden die Informationen in sozialen Netzwerken eingeschätzt. YouTube erreicht hinsichtlich der Glaubwürdigkeit noch den höchsten Wert von 18 Prozent. Nur noch einstellige Prozentzahlen bei der Frage nach der Glaubwürdigkeit schaffen Twitter (neuerdings in X umbenannt), Facebook oder Instagram.
Dem großen Vertrauensbonus des Fernsehens steht ein „Generationsabriss“ bei der Nutzung gegenüber
Das Durchschnittsalter der Zuschauer –gemessen im April 2024- betrug bei der ARD 65 Jahre und beim ZDF und bei den Dritten Programmen 67 Jahre. Bei den Privatsendern sieht es nur wenig besser aus, dort liegt das Durchschnittsalter zwischen 58 Jahren bei RTL und 48 Jahren bei ProSieben. Die Mehrheit der Zuschauer des öffentlich-rechtlichen Fernsehens ist über 65 Jahre alt.
Das Internet hat das Fernsehen als wichtigste Quelle für Nachrichten überholt. Der Anteil der Internetnutzer in Deutschland lag 2023 bei 94 Prozent und bei den 14–19-Jährigen bei nahezu 100 Prozent. 42 Prozent bezeichnen das Internet als ihre Hauptnachrichtenquelle, dicht gefolgt von linear ausgestrahlten Fernsehsendungen mit 41 Prozent. 15 Prozent der Befragten erhalten Nachrichten hauptsächlich in sozialen Medien. Dieser Anteil ist im Langzeitverlauf kontinuierlich angestiegen und mit 35 Prozent bei den 18- bis 24-Jährigen am größten. Für 16 Prozent dieser jüngeren Altersgruppe stellen soziale Medien sogar die einzige Quelle für Nachrichten dar. Manche sprechen – jedenfalls im Unterhaltungsbereich – geradezu von einer „Kannibalisierung“ des linearen Fernsehens durch die Streaming-Dienste – vor allem beim jüngeren Publikum.
38 Prozent, also nahezu 4 von 10 Menschen ab 14 Jahren, geben an, dass ihnen das Internet am wichtigsten ist, um sich über das Zeitgeschehen in Deutschland und aller Welt zu informieren. Dabei werden natürlich auch die Internetangebote der etablierten Medien aufgerufen. Aber ein Anteil von gut 30 Prozent der 14-bis 24-Jährigen erreichen journalistische Angebote über das aktuelle Weltgeschehen kaum noch. Bei Jugendlichen zwischen 14 und 17 Jahren liegt die Quote dieser „gering Informationsorientierten“ laut einer im letzten Herbst veröffentlichten Studie des Hans-Bredow-Instituts bei sogar bei 45 Prozent. Die Jugendlichen bevorzugen unterhaltende Inhalte die sie persönlich tangieren. TikTok gefolgt von Instagram und YouTube statt Tagesschau sind bei Jugendlichen angesagt. Vor dem Hintergrund, dass eine funktionierende und lebendige Demokratie auf informierte Bürger*innen angewiesen ist, sollten die Nachrichtenmüdigkeit und auch die digitale Spaltung zwischen der nachwachsenden Generation und den Älteren Anlass zur Besorgnis sein.
Angesichts dieses hier nur knapp skizzierten Wandels im Medienkonsum stellt sich die Frage, ob das Internet die herkömmlichen Medien ergänzen oder gar ersetzen kann?
Meine kurze Antwort ist: Ergänzen, nur teilweise, ja! Ersetzen, bisher jedenfalls, nein!
Richtig ist: Durch das Internet bleiben wir mit beliebig vielen Menschen in Kontakt. Wir können Sprachmeldungen, Bilder und Videos austauschen und zeitgleich empfangen. Wir erhalten Informationen und wir können recherchieren in einem Umfang wie nie zuvor. Wir können unser Wissen verbreitern und verbreiten, wir können uns Kampagnen anschließen und politischen Druck ausüben und für Meinungen werben. Nie zuvor war es so einfach, an eine so große Fülle von Informationen und Medieninhalten weltweit und jederzeit zu gelangen, wie heute. Durch den Einsatz von Künstlicher Intelligenz (KI) werden diese Angebote sogar noch deutlich erhöht. Solche großartigen Potentiale des Internets sind nach wie vor gegeben. Wir sollten uns darüber im Klaren sein: All die problematischen Dinge, auf die ich nachfolgend zu sprechen kommen werde und die uns besorgt machen müssen, liegen nicht in der Technik: Sie sind von Menschen gemacht!
Im Netz gibt es nach groben Schätzungen allein in Deutschland etwa 200.000 Blogs
Blogs, das sind öffentlich einsehbare, häufig nicht-professionelle, oft aber auch journalistische Tagebucheinträge mit einem eigenen Internetauftritt. Solche Blogs werden monatlich rund 800 Millionen Mal aufgerufen. Darüber hinaus gibt es eine nicht mehr überschaubare Zahl an sog. „Influencern“. Das sind überwiegend jüngere Personen, die meist eines der großen sozialen Netzwerke nutzen um Lebensstile, Schönheitspflege, Mode, Hobbys oder Produkte anzupreisen. Diese Influencer haben oft hunderttausende, manchmal sogar Millionen Zugriffe. Das Video von Rezo mit dem Titel „Die Zerstörung der CDU“ vor der Europa-Wahl 2019 wurde z.B. 16 Millionen Mal aufgerufen.
Neben den nach wie vor reichweitenstärksten professionell-journalistischen Webangeboten (also etwa bild.de oder Spiegel.de etc.), gibt es eine stattliche Zahl sog. „alternativer Medien“, die häufig an den Rändern des politischen Spektrums liegende Inhalte ihrem Publikum anbieten. Wie z.B. „Tichys Einblick“ oder die „Achse des Guten“ (auf der eher rechten politischen Seite) oder (auf der eher linken Seite) etwa die „Nachdenkseiten“, die ich – bis dieses Blog in ein Medium der Gegenpropaganda abgedriftet ist – bis 2015 selbst mit herausgegeben habe.
Größter Teil der Internetkommunikation in den „Sozialen Medien“
Neben dieser Vielzahl eigenständiger Internetauftritte findet allerdings der weitaus überwiegende Teil der Internetkommunikation in den „Sozialen Medien“ statt. Zu den „Soziale Medien“ zählen Medienintermediäre wie etwa Instagram, TikTok oder Facebook. Dazu gehören auch die Kurzmitteilungsdienste – auch „Instant Messengers“ genannt – also etwa der seit der Übernahme von Elon Musk im Niedergang befindliche Kurz-Nachrichtendienst Twitter (jetzt X) oder auch WhatsApp. Dann gibt es noch die Videoportale wie etwa YouTube. Hinzu gekommen ist der in Russland gegründete und jetzt in Dubai ansässige Messenger-Dienst Telegram, der 700 Millionen aktive Nutzer hat und gerne von Rechtsextremen, Umstürzlern, Holocaustleugnern und Verschwörungserzählern genutzt wird. In jüngerer Zeit hinzugekommen sind die Microblogging-Dienste wie etwa Mastodon, Bluesky oder Threads (letzterer aus Mark Zuckerbergs Meta-Konzern).
Hier nur soviel: Insgesamt nutzen 90 Prozent der deutschen Internetnutzer*innen ab 16 Jahren Online-Nachrichten zu aktuellen Ereignissen und dem Zeitgeschehen aus Bereichen wie Politik, Wirtschaft, Sport oder Kultur. Das entspricht rund 55 Millionen Menschen. Am meisten werden Nachrichten-Webseiten oder Apps genutzt (78 Prozent). Dahinter folgen soziale Medien, über die sich 44 Prozent informieren. Ein Viertel (27 Prozent) informiert sich über Messenger-Dienste, 26 Prozent per Video über YouTube-Kanäle und 18 Prozent hören Podcasts zu aktuellen Ereignissen bzw. dem Zeitgeschehen. 17 Prozent haben E-Mail-Newsletter oder spezielle Briefings abonniert. 47 Prozent informieren sich in der Regel über Webseiten und Apps von klassischen überregionalen, lokalen oder internationalen Printmedien, also etwa spiegel.de, bild.de, faz.net und anderen. 44 Prozent informieren sich über Webseiten oder Apps von öffentlich-rechtlichen sowie privaten Fernseh- und Radiosendern, etwa tagesschau.de, wdr.de, n-tv.de und anderen. Dahinter folgen die Startseiten von Internetzugangsprovidern wie t-online.de, gmx.de oder web.de (35 Prozent), Webseiten oder Apps von Fachmedien beispielsweise zu Themen wie Mobilität oder Sport (21 Prozent) sowie News-Webseiten, die ausschließlich online erscheinen (16 Prozent). 11 Prozent geben an, sich auf Seiten von Redaktions- und Rechercheverbünden wie correctiv.org u.a. zu informieren. Der JIM-Jugendstudie zufolge nutzen 59 Prozent der 12-19-Jährigen regelmäßig TikTok.
Unter dem Aspekt der Meinungsbildung werden Soziale Netzwerke unter dem Oberbegriff „Intermediäre“ zusammengefasst. Diese Medienintermediären sind zu wichtigen Verbreitungsplattformen sämtlicher sonstiger Medien- oder Informationsanbieter und damit zu zunehmend wirkmächtigen Meinungsmultiplikatoren geworden. Beim Meinungsbildungsgewicht ermittelte 2023 der Meinungsvielfaltsmonitor der Medienanstalten, dass das Internet einen Anteil von 35,4 % hat, das Fernsehen einen Anteil von nur noch 28,9%, das Radio von 16,4%, Tageszeitungen von 16,0% und Zeitschriften erreichen nur noch kümmerliche 3,3 Prozent.
Vom freien Informationsfluss im Netz keine Rede
Die Vision des Internets, also das Bild von Offenheit und der Vernetzung in einer freien, nicht-kommerziellen Informationsgesellschaft wurde leider nie Wirklichkeit. Die Kontrolle über die verbreiteten Inhalte liegt nämlich nicht bei den Nutzern, sondern bei den Betreibern sozialer Netzwerke. Internetdienstanbieter sind nicht neutral. Es bleibt den Nutzern verborgen, dass die „geposteten“ Inhalte vor allem mittels geheim gehaltener Sortier- und Suchalgorithmen der Internetdienstleister gesteuert werden. Solche – den Betriebsgeheimnissen der Tech-Giganten unterliegenden – Computer-Rechenprogramme kategorisieren, filtern und hierarchisieren die Inhalte, welche die Nutzer in welcher Reihenfolge zu sehen bekommen. Sie bestimmen wesentlich über die Reichweite und die Auffindbarkeit der im Internet vorhandenen Angebote, so üben sie einen erheblichen Einfluss darauf aus, welche Themen, Meinungen und Inhalte von den Nutzerinnen und Nutzern wahrgenommen und für wichtig gehalten werden. Sie wirken auch auf die Berichterstattung der klassischen Medien zurück und bestimmen häufig sogar die Schlagzeilen. Die Intermediären sind auf diese Weise, ähnlich wie die journalistischen Redaktionen der klassischen Medien, zu virtuellen Redaktionen geworden und haben die Zeitungen und den Rundfunk als „Gatekeeper“, also als Torwächter der veröffentlichten Meinung zunehmend abgelöst.
Leitwerte – wie Orientierung an der Wahrheit oder etwa die Meinungsvielfalt – spielen beim Angebot der Inhalte bei den Intermediären kaum eine Rolle. Um eine vielfältige und umfassende Information als Voraussetzung für eine vom Grundgesetz zugrunde gelegte freie Meinungsbildung zu sichern, wird deshalb gefordert, dass die Landesgesetzgeber eine Medienordnung schaffen, die eine „vorherrschende Meinungsmacht verhindert sowie die Vielfalt der bestehenden Meinungen vermittelt“.
Die gewonnene Freiheit der Information wird mit einem Verlust an Anonymität erkauft
Spätestens seit den Enthüllungen des ehemaligen CIA-Mitarbeiters Edward Snowden müssten eigentlich alle wissen, dass die gewonnene Freiheit der Information mit einem Verlust an Anonymität und einer neuen privaten und/oder staatlichen Macht über persönliche Daten erkauft wird. Die angeblich „kostenfreien“ Internet-Dienste von Facebook und Co. sind vor allem auch „Datenkraken“, die mit dem Sammeln und dem Verkauf von Nutzerdaten riesige Milliardensummen an Gewinnen machen.
In China gibt es die ersten Modellversuche wie Online-Daten nicht nur zur umfassenden Überwachung genutzt werden können, sondern – über ein Sozialpunkte-System – das soziale Verhalten der Bürger bewertet und mit Sanktionen oder Vergünstigungen gesteuert werden soll. Die Befürchtung, dass der chinesische TikTok-Eigner ByteDance Informationen, die über diesen Dienst gesammelt werden, an (staatliche) Stellen in China weitergeben könnte, dient als Begründung dafür, dass dieser Dienst in den USA nach einer Übergangsfrist entweder verkauft oder verboten werden soll. In Estland und Frankreich wurde TikTok auf Diensthandys von Beschäftigten im öffentlichen Dienst verboten und seit Mitte März dürfen Beschäftigte der EU-Kommission diese App nicht mehr benutzen.
Was in China der Staat betreibt, machen in der westlichen Welt die privaten Internetgiganten. Nahezu alle Dienste waren oder sind in Datenskandale verwickelt. Auch im Westen gibt es sog. Safe Cities, also elektronisch überwachte Städte bzw. Stadtviertel. Was oft vergessen wird: Nach dem Cloud Act und dem Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) sind die amerikanischen Tech-Unternehmen zur Herausgabe ihrer Daten an die Geheimdienste verpflichtet.
Die Harvard-Ökonomin Soshana Zuboff hat dafür zurecht den passenden Begriff „Überwachungskapitalismus“ eingeführt.
(Das Thema Cyberkriminalität und die Militarisierung des Internets wären einen eigenen Artikel wert.)
Das Internet als Einfallstor für Manipulatoren
Die Tatsache, dass die Internetdienste besser über einen Bescheid wissen, als man vielleicht selbst über sich weiß – jedenfalls als man sich bewusst macht – kann nicht nur für Werbezwecke ausgebeutet werden, die Möglichkeit zur personalisierten Zielgruppenansprache, kann auch für Propaganda, bis hin zu Wahlmanipulationen missbraucht werden.
Eine noch ziemlich harmlose Variante einer solchen Stimmungsmache, ist etwa der relativ preiswerte Kauf von „Likes“ auf Facebook. Zu solchen Meinungsmachern zählen auch sog. „Trolle“ oder ganze Trollfabriken, die sich In Diskussionsforen, Newsgroups, Chatrooms, Mailinglisten oder in Blogs einmischen und provozieren, Wut und Hass schüren oder in eine bestimmte (politische) Richtung zu lenken versuchen.Es gibt auch automatisierte „Trolls“, also von Computern erzeugte künstliche Identitäten (sog. „Robots“), die in Netzwerken wie X oder Facebook massenhafte Zustimmung oder Ablehnung von Meinungen vortäuschen. „Robots“ oder kurz „Bots“ können durch ihre schiere Masse gesellschaftliche Debatten beeinflussen. Im Umfeld der letzten Präsidentschaftswahlen in den USA sollen bei Twitter 400.000 Bots im Einsatz gewesen sein, um die Stimmungslage nach den TV-Debatten zu beeinflussen.
Privacy Paradox
So groß die Ängste – zumal der Deutschen – vor der Sammlung von Daten im Internet sind, so wenig schlägt sich das im Nutzerverhalten nieder. Man kann hier ein „Privacy Paradox beobachten, d.h. obwohl die Vertraulichkeit von persönlichen Daten von Vielen als sehr wichtig eingestuft wird, findet die Nutzung des Internets weitgehend sorglos statt. Und aus Bequemlichkeit stimmt man meist allen „Keksen“, also den „Cookies“ zu, die Angaben etwa zu Seiteneinstellungen, zu Such-oder Surfgewohnheiten zwischenspeichern und an den Betreiber der Internetseite weitergeben. Sie können das selbst beobachten, wenn Sie mal übers Netz ein Hotel buchen. Wenige Sekunden danach werden Sie weitere Angebote in Ihrem Mail-Eingang haben.
Mehr und mehr wird den Internet-Nutzern bewusst, dass, wenn etwas nichts kostet, der Nutzer das Produkt ist. Das Geschäftsmodell der Internetoligopole ist das der Beobachtung und dem kommerziellen Ausnutzen des Verhaltens der Nutzer. Die Online-Präsenz wird zur handelbaren Ware.
Facebook sei „ein Werbenetzwerk unter einer altruistischen Tarnung“, sagt der ehemalige Chefredakteur von netzpolitik.org. Markus Beckedahl.
BigTech als wirtschaftliche Oligopole
Die sozialen Netzwerke haben zwar anfangs der zwanziger Jahre ein klein wenig an Börsenwert verloren, sie sind jedoch inzwischen wieder stark gewachsen und nach wie vor die größten Werbeagenturen. Mit 10,8 Billionen Dollar sind Microsoft, Amazon, Alphabet, Meta und Nvidia (ein Halbleiterkonzern) 65 Prozent mehr wert als vor einem Jahr. Alle 40 Dax-Konzerne zusammen kommen auf zwei Billionen Dollar. Die Profite der Tech-Konzerne übertrafen die Erträge der im DAX 40 gelisteten Unternehmen um das Vierfache. Alphabet erwirtschaftete in einem Jahr soviel Profit wie Bertelsmann in 66 Jahren. Google setzt jährlich gut 280 Milliarden Dollar um, TikTok erzielte einen Umsatz von 120 Milliarden, Amazon allein erzielte einen Umsatz von 500 Milliarden Dollar. Zum Vergleich: Der Bundeshaushalt 2024 sieht geplante Ausgaben in Höhe von 384 Milliarden Euro vor. Gegen die wirtschaftliche Potenz dieser Plattformen nehmen sich die europäischen Medienhäuser – wie das Friedrich Küppersbusch treffend formuliert hat – wie „possierliche Folkloregruppen“ aus. Die achteinhalb Milliarden Euro aus Rundfunkbeiträgen für die öffentlich-rechtlichen Rundfunkanstalten schrumpfen im Vergleich dazu auf eine Quantité négligeable. Unter den 20 größten Digitalkonzernen der Welt gibt es kein einziges europäisches Unternehmen.
Trotz ihrer riesigen Gewinne gehören diese bestverdienenden und größten Konzerne, die es auf diesem Planeten je gegeben hat, mit zu den größten Steuervermeidern. Die Konzerne verschieben ihre Gewinne nach Irland, in die Niederlande oder andere Steueroasen. Mit Steuersätzen von 7 bis 15 Prozent zahlen sie dort oft weniger als die Hälfte von dem, was in Deutschland an Steuern fällig wäre. Allein der US-Konzern Microsoft soll in den letzten 20 Jahren etwa 300 Mrd. Euro an Steuern „vermieden“ haben. Die Tech-Konzerne haben durch ihre enormen Ressourcen unverhältnismäßig viele Möglichkeiten, Politik in ihrem Sinne zu beeinflussen. Die Branche gab nach Angaben von Lobbycontrol 2022 etwa 113 Millionen Euro für Lobbyarbeit allein in Brüssel aus. Diese massive Lobbyarbeit bedroht demokratische Willensbildungsprozesse. Außerdem fördern diese Konzerne in großem Umfang konzernfreundliche Forschung und beeinflussen so den Wissenschaftsprozess. Die Tech-Giganten sind nicht Spielball der Märkte, sondern umgekehrt sind die Märkte Spielball dieser Giganten geworden. Weder dem Bundeskartellamt noch der EU-Kommission ist es bisher gelungen, die Marktmacht der großen Tech-Unternehmen wirksam einzuhegen.
Hinter den US-amerikanischen Plattformen Google, Facebook, Instagram und Amazon liegt im Internet-Traffic nur noch ein riesiger „Friedhof“
Wir haben es mit einer doppelten Oligopolstruktur zu tun: Und zwar sowohl bei den Übertragungswegen als auch bei den Medieninhalten. Noch viel zerstörerischer als beim ökonomischen Wettbewerb sind aber gerade die Effekte der Oligopole auf dem Markt der Medien.
Ein „Atlas der digitalen Welt“, der am Institut fur Medienkultur an der Universität zu Köln erarbeitet worden ist, zeigt, dass sich der Internetverkehr zu 70 Prozent auf eine Hand voll Oligopole konzentriert und der übrige Rest des Internet-Traffics nur noch ein „gigantischer Friedhof“ ist. Der Kölner Medienwissenschaftler Martin Andree hat errechnet, dass die fünf größten deutschen Blogs eine Reichweite von gerade mal etwas mehr als einem Prozent erreichten. Nehme man die Nutzungsdauer als Gradmesser, so erzielten alle Inhalte des öffentlich-rechtlichen Rundfunks an Media-on-Demand zusammengenommen einen Anteil von gerade mal etwa 4 Prozent des Traffics. Der Anteil an der gesamten Mediennutzung sei logischerweise noch viel geringer und betrage nur noch lächerliche ein Prozent des Netzverkehrs. Die Vielzahl von Angeboten im Netz sei also eine reine „Fata Morgana“. Selbst finanzstarke globale Markenkonzerne hätten mit ihren Internetauftritten keine Chance, sich gegen die „schwarzen Löcher“ der Plattformen zu behaupten.
Der Internetzugang wird in der westlichen Welt von den „Big Five“ eröffnet, nämlich von „GAFAM“ (nämlich G wie Google, A wie Amazon, F wie Facebook, A wie Apple und M wie Microsoft). Die „sozialen Medien“ werden von „FANG“ (also von Facebook, Amazon, Netflix, Google) dominiert. Inzwischen müsste man das berufliche Netzwerk Linkedin von Microsoft oder die vom chinesischen ByteDance-Konzern betriebene Plattform TikTok hinzufügen. Während X seit dem Kauf durch Elon Musk deutliche Einbußen, vor allem bei den Werbeinnahmen hinnehmen muss.
Mit einem Suchmaschinen-Marktanteil von über 90 Prozent beherrscht Google den Zugang zu den Netzinhalten. Amazon hat nicht nur einen Anteil von 56 Prozent am gesamten Online-Handel, sondern beherrscht mit einem Drittel den Markt beim Cloud Computing, also bei externen Speicherplätzen für Rechen- oder Dienstleistungen.
Solche Oligopole sind eine Bedrohung für eine plurale Meinungsbildung. Die analogen Medien schrumpfen, die digitalen Medien übernehmen: Damit wird eine pluralistische Medienwelt abgeschafft und durch eine oligopolistische Ordnung ersetzt, die im Widerspruch zu den Prinzipien unserer demokratischen Verfassung steht, die auf die Vielfalt der Meinungen aufbaut. Nach 75 Jahren Grundgesetz sind Pressefreiheit und Meinungsvielfalt ernsthaft in Gefahr.
Die „Kalifornische Ideologie“
Der Hauptberater der EU-Kommission in der Generaldirektion Justiz, Paul Nemitz, der schon die Datenschutzgrundverordnung maßgeblich geprägt hat, erkennt bei den steinreichen Unternehmensführern eine „Kalifornischen Ideologie“, nämlich den Glauben, dass sich alle Probleme durch digitale Technik lösen lassen und vor allem, dass diese Technik alle Probleme besser löste als die Politik.
Die Tech-Giganten züchteten – so Nemitz – eine Kultur der Missachtung der Institutionen der Demokratie, ja noch mehr: eine Verachtung der Demokratie. Da werde suggeriert nur die Selbstregulierung der Akteure und der Markt seien wirksame Mittel, um Ziele zu erreichen, die dem Gemeinwohl dienen, und deshalb sei jeder Eingriff in den Markt und jede Regulierung des Internets durch Gesetze abzulehnen.
Diese Ideologie sei unvereinbar mit den Grundwerten von Freiheit und Demokratie. Diese Mischung aus Verabsolutierung der Technologie und neoliberaler Gedanken habe die strukturelle Unterregulierung des Internets bis heute zur Folge.
Personalisierung der Informationen zerstört die Grundfunktion der Öffentlichkeit
„Unser Ziel ist es, mit dem Newsfeed die perfekte personalisierte Zeitung für jede Person auf der Welt zu schaffen“, sagte Facebook-Gründer Zuckerberg, wohl ohne selbst zu bemerken, welches Problem für den Erhalt der Meinungsvielfalt er damit beschrieb. Die konsequente Personalisierung der Informationen zerstört die Grundfunktion der Öffentlichkeit, nämlich den offenen Austausch der vielfältigen und kontroversen gesellschaftlichen Meinungen.
Das Das Bundesverfassungsgericht hat schon in seinem Urteil vom 18. Juli 2018 zum Rundfunkbeitrag auf die Gefahr hingewiesen, „dass – auch mit Hilfe von Algorithmen – Inhalte gezielt auf Interessen und Neigungen der Nutzerinnen und Nutzer zugeschnitten werden, was wiederum zur Verstärkung gleichgerichteter Meinungen führt. Solche Angebote sind nicht auf Meinungsvielfalt gerichtet, sondern werden durch einseitige Interessen oder die wirtschaftliche Rationalität eines Geschäftsmodells bestimmt, nämlich die Verweildauer der Nutzer auf den Seiten möglichst zu maximieren und dadurch den Werbewert der Plattform für die Kunden zu erhöhen. Insoweit sind auch Ergebnisse in Suchmaschinen vorgefiltert und teils werbefinanziert, teils von „Klickzahlen“ abhängig. Zudem treten verstärkt nicht-publizistische Anbieter ohne journalistische Zwischenaufbereitung auf.Aber man muss nicht nur auf den Meta-Konzern schauen, auch in Deutschland gibt es Bestrebungen, in erster Linie Online-Vermarktung, statt Journalismus anzubieten. So soll etwa beim „Kölner Stadt-Anzeiger“ der „Onlineauftritt streng nach user needs“ weiterentwickelt werden, also die Relevanz für die Nutzer im Vordergrund stehen.
Filterblasen- oder Echokammereffekt
Häufig ist bei solchen personalisierten Informationen vom „Filterblasen- oder Echokammereffekt die Rede. So plausibel diese Bubbles erscheinen, so dünn sind allerdings bisher die empirischen Nachweise dafür gesät. Als einigermaßen gesichert kann jedoch gelten, dass bei zahlenmäßig durchaus beachtlich großen gesellschaftlichen Gruppen, die sich in Opposition zu der in den klassischen Medien veröffentlichten Meinung verstehen, durch die personalisierten Nachrichtenströme Verfestigungen von Vorurteilen oder Ideologien beobachtbar sind, sodass sich polarisierende „Gegen- und Teilöffentlichkeiten“ mit unterschiedlichen Wahrheitsansprüchen bilden, also eine Fragmentierung der Öffentlichkeit eintritt. Das lässt sich etwa in den USA sehr gut beobachten: Noch ein Jahr nach der letzten Präsidentschaftswahl in den USA hielt ein Drittel der Bevölkerung das Ergebnis für gefälscht. An die Stelle einer gemeinsamen Öffentlichkeit, die die Gesellschaft zusammenhält, ist eine Vielzahl von Öffentlichkeiten, sind „alternative Fakten“ getreten. „Der inklusive Sinn von Öffentlichkeit verblasst“, schreibt Jürgen Habermas.
Verrohung der Sprache
Dieses Phänomen ist jedenfalls unbestritten: Im Netz ist eine Verrohung, ja teilweise sogar eine Vergiftung der Sprache beobachtbar. Die Verwilderung in der zwischenmenschlichen Kommunikation im Netz ist oft eng verbunden mit einem pauschalen Antielitismus, einer allgemeinen Skepsis, mit Homophobie und Fremdenhass, mit Rassismus bis hin zu Aufrufen zur Gewalt. Die Anonymität im Netz enthemmt offenbar. Das Internet wurde geradezu zu einem Sammelpunkt für fremdenfeindliche und antisemitische Hetze. Ideologisch homogene Diskursräume führen zur Radikalisierung von Meinungen und Positionen. So kann eine „Wir-gegen-die-Haltung“ entstehen, die Hass sähen und einen Nährboden für politische Radikalisierung bilden kann. Solche sektenartigen Phänomene ließen sich etwa bei den Corona- oder „Querdenker“-Demonstrationen oder zunehmend verbreiteten Verschwörungsmythen beobachten. NRW-Innenminister Herbert Reul nennt das Internet „Die Radikalisierungsmaschine des 21. Jahrhunderts“.
Die „Währung“ des Internets ist die Aufmerksamkeit
Übereinstimmende Studien zeigen, dass sich Fake News weiter, schneller, intensiver und breiter verbreiten denn als wahr klassifizierte Informationen. Falschmeldungen verbreiten sich in den sozialen Medien sechs Mal so schnell und hundert Mal so häufig wie normale Nachrichten und werden fast doppelt so häufig geteilt wie andere Inhalte. 85 Prozent der Internetnutzerinnen und -nutzer stimmen der Aussage zu, es sei insgesamt schwer, den Wahrheitsgehalt einzelner Meldungen zu überprüfen. Ebenso viele (85 Prozent) sind der Meinung, dass Falschmeldungen den gesellschaftlichen Zusammenhalt zerstören. Wie unkritisch jedoch im internationalen Vergleich die Deutschen sind, beweist eine Umfrage, wonach nur 16 Prozent meinen, dass sie auf Desinformation hereinfallen könnten.
Auch Nacktheit und Wut klicken sich gut. Die Meldung „Staat zahlt Harem 7.500 Euro im Monat: Syrer lebt jetzt mit 2 Ehefrauen und 8 Kindern in Deutschland“ hat mehr Interaktionen auf Facebook erhalten, als 50 der meistgelesenen Nachrichtenseiten, etwa von Bild, Spiegel, Focus etc. Den Verbreitungseffekt von Falschmeldungen nutzen natürlich auch die Sozialen Netzwerke für sich selbst aus, denn die „Währung“ des Internets ist die Aufmerksamkeit. Es herrscht eine „Klick-Ökonomie“, denn Klickzahlen und Verweildauer bringen Werbeeinnahmen. Klassische journalistische Tugenden sind diesem „Clickbaiting“ – also dem Ködern von Zugriffen – eher abträglich. So können soziale Medien zu asozialen Medien werden. Man könnte auch sagen, das Radikale rückt in die Mitte – oder die Mitte wird radikalisiert.„Lauter Hass – leiser Rückzug“
Mehr als drei Viertel aller deutschen Internetnutzer erleben Hass im Netz. Hassreden werden spätestens dann gefährlich für unsere Demokratie, wenn die Hetze des einen die Meinungsfreiheit des anderen einschränkt. Die so vergiftete Diskussion kann dazu führen, dass Menschen sich aus Angst vor den hassvollen Reaktionen anderer nicht mehr trauen, ihre Meinung zu äußern. Shitstorms können bewirken, dass Medienredaktionen ganze Themenblöcke meiden, weil sie sich der unzivilisierten Debatte nicht gewachsen fühlen. Anfeindungen im Netz können Menschen davon abhalten, für ein politisches Amt zu kandidieren. Die Spitze dieses Eisbergs erlebten wir vor der letzten Europawahl mit körperlichen Angriffen auf einen SPD-Europaabgeordneten beim Anbringen von Wahlplakaten. Den Parteien fehlt es massiv an Nachwuchs; in vielen Kommunen lässt sich kein Bürgermeisterkandidat mehr finden.
- Hass im Netz führt nicht zur zu einem Rückgang der Online-Aktivitäten, oft sogar zu sozialem Rückzug. Oft erleiden die Betroffenen auch psychische Beschwerden. Der Kampf gegen Hassreden ist also auch ein Kampf für die Meinungsfreiheit, für die Meinungsvielfalt im öffentlichen Raum und damit für die demokratische Teilhabe und den demokratischen Diskurs.Die politische Rechte hat besser verstanden, wie Soziale Medien funktionierenGerade populistische Parteien beherrschen dieses Spiel mit der Wut gekonnt. Sie liefern, was der Algorithmus belohnt. Die AfD oder andere rechte Bewegungen nutzen solche „Infodemie“-Effekte für ihre politische Propaganda. Die AfD verfügt über weiter mehr als 80 Prozent aller Shares der Politischen Parteien auf Facebook. Bei den Social-Media-Abrufen – in jüngster Zeit vor allem auf TikTok – liegen die AfD und deren Politiker/innen mit weitem Abstand vor den anderen Parteien. Der (zurückgezogene) Spitzenkandidat der AfD, Maximilian Krah, etwa erreichte mit seinem Video „Echte Männer sind rechts“ 1,5 Millionen Views, fast 96.000 Shares und mehr als 88.000 Links. Donald Trump wollte noch im März dieses Jahres TikTok verbieten, eine Woche, nachdem er sich entschloss, diesen Dienst zu nutzen, sammelte er dort sechs Millionen Follower. Laut „Trendstudie Jugend in Deutschland 2024“ würden 22 Prozent der 14- bis 29-Jährigen ihre Stimme bei der nächsten Bundestagswahl der AfD geben. Davon nutzen mehr als 58 Prozent TikTok.Desinformation und Propaganda bedrohen die DemokratieDie gezielte und massenhafte Verbreitung von Desinformation und Propaganda (auch und gerade durch ausländische autokratische Systeme) bedrohen zunehmend demokratisch verfasste Staaten. Desinformationskampagnen gab und gibt es vor allem bei stark umstrittenen Themen, wie z.B. der Zuwanderung, bei der Corona-Pandemie oder der Klimakrise. Desinformation verursacht Unsicherheit und diese Unsicherheit nährt Zweifel an allem und jedem, was nicht Teil der eigenen, gefühlten Wirklichkeit ist. Mit Begriffen wie „alternative Fakten“ wird suggeriert, dass Tatsachen reine Ansichtssache seien. Gemeinsam geteilte und geprüfte Informationen sind jedoch Voraussetzungen für eine funktionierende Öffentlichkeit in der Demokratie. Ohne einen Konsens in der Gesellschaft für die Unterscheidbarkeit von wahr und unwahr sowie von Tatsachen und Meinungen ist es jedoch „kaum möglich im politischen Meinungskampf eine auf Argumenten basierende Auseinandersetzung konstruktiv zu führen“, meint der Medienrechtlicher Bernd Holznagel. Demokratisierung des Digitalen statt Digitalisierung der DemokrtatieFassen wir die Bedrohungen für unsere Demokratie durch das Internet noch einmal zusammen. Bedrohlich sind:- Die digitale Spaltung zwischen jung und alt bei der Informiertheit und die Nachrichtenmüdigkeit, – die Oligopolisierung der Medienwelt mit ihrem Verlust an vielfältigen gesellschaftlichen Meinungen, – die Verstärkung gleichgerichteter Meinungen,
– die Unvereinbarkeit der Technikgläubigkeit mit den Grundwerten von Freiheit und die damit einhergehende Missachtung demokratischer Institutionen,
– die Fragmentierung der Öffentlichkeit z.B. durch alternative Fakten,
– die Verrohung der Sprache und des politischen Diskurses,
– die Radikalisierungstendenzen und Desinformationskampagnen,
– der Verlust an gemeinsam geteilten und geprüften Informationen und an Vertrauen in die Wahrhaftigkeit von Informationen,
– die Bedrohung der Meinungsfreiheit durch Hassreden und nicht zuletzt – die verborgene Lobbyarbeit von BigTech.Angesichts solcher Bedrohungen stellte Bundespräsident Steinmeier zurecht die Forderung auf: “Nicht die Digitalisierung der Demokratie, sondern die Demokratisierung des Digitalen ist die drängendste Aufgabe”.Regulierungsversuche auf dem Feld des InternetsEs hat noch nie in der Geschichte ein Medium gegeben, das nicht reguliert wurde. Die Frage ist allerdings, ob die Politik überhaupt noch in der Lage ist, die Tech-Giganten zu zähmen. Facebook hat gegen jegliche Regulierung eine bislang erfolgreiche Strategie: „Verzögern, Abstreiten, Vortäuschen“.Die Bosse der fünf Internetoligopole, die zu den reichsten Menschen der Welt gehören, vertraten über lange Jahre unisono und penetrant die Ideologie, sie seien nur neutrale Dienstleister für ihre „User“ und könnten für die von ihren Nutzern verbreiteten Inhalte nicht als „Herausgeber“ zur Verantwortung gezogen werden. Die „Sozialen Medien“ seien demnach nur eine Art „digitales Schwarzes Brett“, auf dem die Leute ihre Zettel anhefteten, ohne dass der Aufsteller der Anschlagtafel eine Verantwortung dafür trüge, was dort „gepostet“ werde. Was bei RTL strafbar wäre, ist derzeit bei Plattformen meist noch legal. Ursprünglich zur Förderung des Internets gedacht, wurde dieser Grundsatz der Nichthaftung für die geposteten Inhalte in den USA im „Communications Decency Act“ aus dem Jahre 1996 – also 8 Jahre vor der Gründung von Facebook – sogar in einem Gesetz verankert. Aus einer Mischung aus Technikbegeisterung, Staatsabwehr und dem naiven Glauben an die „Freiheit im Netz“ wird diese Ideologie der Netz-Oligopolisten vor allem von einem großen Teil der jüngeren Online-Community nach wie vor massiv unterstützt.Wer aber meint: “Das Netz ist frei, wir sollten es nicht regulieren”, der täuscht sich. Das Netz wird aktuell nämlich so reguliert, wie es die Digitalkonzerne für richtig halten. Die meisten Netzwerkbetreiber haben sich selbst sog. Gemeinschafts- oder Community-Standards zum Schutz vor von ihrer Ansicht nach schädlichen oder anstößigen Inhalten auferlegt. So schlimm man die Tweets von Donald Trump auch gehalten haben mag, dass Facebook und Twitter einfach dessen Nutzerkonten gesperrt haben, das hat mit rechtsstaatlichen Grundsätzen nichts zu tun. Dieses „Hausrecht“ der Internetdienste ist als private Zensur gefährlich und jedenfalls verfassungsrechtlich problematisch. Es zeigt den „autoritären Charakter der digitalen Revolution“.
Um nur ein markantes Beispiel für die „unheimliche Macht“ der Internetkonzerne zu nennen: 2021 boykottierte Facebook ein in Australien geplantes Gesetz, das von den Plattformen verlangte, einen Teil ihrer Einnahmen aus der Verlinkung von Artikeln und Filmen an die Urheber, also an Verlage oder Künstler abzugeben. Selbst behördliche Notdienste, wie die Feuerwehr waren durch den Boykott über Nacht gesperrt und blockiert.Warum sollte die digitale Welt anders funktionieren als die analoge, mit genauso vielen Freiheiten aber auch Pflichten?Das Internet ist kein rechtsfreier Raum. Jede Regulierung müsste jedoch größtmögliche individuelle Meinungsfreiheit und den Schutz vor staatlicher oder privater Zensur sowie darüber hinaus ein hohes Maß an Datenschutz gewährleisten. Allerdings ist weder Hass noch ist jede Lüge strafbar und auch falsche Meinungen, sogar Widerwärtiges sind durch das Grundgesetz geschützt. Das Bundesverfassungsgericht garantiert der Meinungsfreiheit einen breiten Spielraum. Es ist Aufgabe der Politik – und eben nicht das Hausrecht der Techkonzerne – die rechtlichen Parameter für die Ermöglichung freier und unabhängiger Berichterstattung sowie für den freien und offenen Willensbildungsprozess zu setzen und Plattformen Pflichten für die gemeinwohlverträgliche Ausgestaltung öffentlicher Kommunikationsräume aufzuerlegen.Inzwischen gibt es sowohl auf europäischer Ebene als auch als innerstaatliches Recht zahlreiche Regulierungsvorschriften:- Von der Haftung der Plattformen für Urheberrechtsverletzungen,
– über die Anpassung des Wettbewerbsrecht,
– der „Datenschutzgrundverordnung“ (DSGVO),
– dem „Netzwerkdurchsetzungsgesetz“ (NetzDG),
– dem „Telemediengesetz“ (TMG),
– dem „Digital Services Act“ (DAS) und seiner kürzlich verabschiedeten Umsetzung ins deutsche Recht, dem Digitale-Dienste-Gesetz,
– dem „Digital Markets Act“ (DMA),
– bis hin zu mehreren Novellen des Medienstaatsvertrages der Länder.Heftig gestritten wurde über ein im Mai 2024 in Kraft getretenes europäisches „Medienfreiheitsgesetz“ und über eine anstehende Verordnung zur Prävention und Bekämpfung des sexuellen Missbrauchs von Kindern, bei der eine „Chatkontrolle“ befürchtet wird. Es wurde in Deutschland auch eine Staatsanwaltschaft zur Verfolgung von Straftaten im Internet aufgebaut.Ob diese Regulierungen den rechtlichen und vor allem auch praktischen Rahmen bieten können für die Ermöglichung freier und unabhängiger Berichterstattung sowie für den freien und offenen Willensbildungsprozess und ob sie den Plattformen hinreichende Pflichten für eine gemeinwohlverträgliche Ausgestaltung öffentlicher Kommunikationsräume auferlegen können, wird sich erst noch erweisen müssen.
Wirklich gefruchtet haben die meisten der Regulierungen bislang noch nicht sehr viel. So gingen z.B. erheblich weniger Meldungen über strafrechtlich relevante Inhalte ein, als erhofft wurde. Schon jetzt zeigt sich, dass die Internetkonzerne solche Regelungen auszutricksen versuchen. Gegen die Konzentrationstendenzen wurde bislang viel zu wenig unternommen.Immerhin hat die EU-Kommission unlängst eine Wettbewerbsstrafe von 1,8 Milliarden Euro gegen den US-Tech-Giganten Apple verhängt, mit der Begründung, dass das Unternehmen seine marktbeherrschende Stellung für den Vertrieb von Musik-Streaming-Apps an iPhone- und iPad-Nutzer über seinen App-Store missbraucht habe. Man darf gespannt sein, was die kürzlich eingeleiteten Wettbewerbsverfahren der EU-Kommission gegen Alphabet und Meta erbringen. Selbst wenn diese Verfahren vor Gericht Bestand haben sollten, so bedeutet das nicht etwa eine Entflechtung der Oligopole, sondern die Gerichtsentscheidungen würden allenfalls Verhaltensänderungen erzwingen. Gegen die bereits existierenden Monopolstrukturen wird staatlicherseits bisher nur wenig unternommen. Es gibt laut Umfragen eine um die 80-prozentige Zustimmungen bei den Befragten für weitergehende Regulierungen gegen die digitalen Oligopole, zum Schutz der Privatsphäre oder gegen Hass und Radikalisierung im Netz. Dieser Grundstimmung entsprechend gibt es über die bisherigen regulatorischen Bestimmungen hinaus zahlreiche Vorschläge, wie das Internet von der Macht der Tech-Riesen befreit werden könnte. Ich nenne hier nur die m.E. wichtigsten:- So sollte bei demokratierelevanten, marktbeherrschenden Plattformen auf der Unternehmensebene eine Entflechtung bei der Monetarisierung zwischen Verbreitungsweg und den verbreiteten Inhalten gesetzlich vorgeschrieben werden.
– Gewinne, die in einem Land erwirtschaftet werden, müssten – wie bei anderen Medienunternehmen auch – jeweils auch dort versteuert werden.
– Außerdem sollte – analog zu den bereits bestehenden Regelungen im Medienstaatsvertrag – ein Nutzungsanteil in der jeweiligen Mediengattung von max. 30 % für marktbeherrschende Plattformen eingeführt werden, die demokratierelevante Inhalte verbreiten und die für die Meinungsbildung wichtig sind. – Die eingesetzten Algorithmen sollten transparent und zumindest extern erforschbar werden. – Wer wirtschaftliche Verantwortung übernimmt sollte zwingend auch inhaltliche Verantwortung etwa für strafbare Botschaften in den Posts übernehmen.
– Zur strafrechtlichen Verfolgung sollten von sozialen Netzwerken die IP-Adressen der dem Netz angebundenen Geräte herausgegeben werden müssen.
– Es gibt Stimmen, die ganz grundsätzlich in Frage stellen, dass die Netz-„Infrastruktur“ sich in privater Hand befindet. Wie beim Straßennetz müsse der Staat auch diese Infrastruktur zur Verfügung stellen, die dann geschäftlich und privat genutzt werden könnte.
Zunehmend werden auch Forderungen nach einer digitalen Souveränität wenigstens auf europäischer Ebene gegen die Digital-Oligopolisten aus den USA und inzwischen auch aus China laut. Wichtig wäre vor allem auch eine größere Medienkompetenz. Der Umbruch der Medienlandschaft wird sich nach aller Voraussicht in den nächsten Jahren beschleunigt fortsetzen. Ohne Gegenmaßnahmen werden sich klassische Medien im „Plattformisierungsprozess“ weder ökonomisch noch publizistisch behaupten können.
Warum also nicht eine öffentliche, beitragsfinanzierte Plattform?
Warum sollte der öffentlich-rechtliche Rundfunk nicht dorthin gehen, wo sich die jungen Zielgruppen aufhalten? Jürgen Habermas spricht geradezu von einem verfassungsrechtlichen Gebot „eine Medienstruktur aufrecht zu erhalten, die … einen deliberativen Charakter der öffentlichen Meinungs- und Willensbildung ermöglicht“.
Sowohl die Rundfunkkommission der Länder als auch der von den Ministerpräsidenten eingesetzte „Zukunftsrat“ machten zuletzt Vorschläge für den Aufbau einer gemeinsamen Medienplattform durch die Rundfunkanstalten, um die Macht der privaten Plattformbetreiber zu brechen. Im Mai dieses Jahres kündigten der ARD-Vorsitzende Kai Gniffke und der Intendant des ZDF, Norbert Himmler, die Entwicklung einer Technologie für eine gemeinsame Nutzung ihrer jeweiligen Mediatheken an. 250 Millionen Euro sollen umgeschichtet werden, um ein Publikum zu erreichen, das lineare Verbreitungswege des Fernsehens weniger oder gar nicht mehr nutzen. Bei aller berechtigten Kritik am öffentlich-rechtlichen Rundfunk hätte eine solche Public-Service-Plattform folgende Vorteile:
– Im Gegensatz, in Konkurrenz und in Ergänzung zu den privaten Sozialen Medien, könnte ein über eine „Demokratieabgabe“ – wie das Bundesverfassungsgericht den Rundfunkbeitrag genannt hat – finanziertes Internetangebot sich dem kommerziellen Primat entziehen.
– Ein solches Public Value-Internetangebot könnte staatsfern von gesellschaftlichen Gruppen kontrolliert werden, demokratische Teilhabe ermöglichen und wäre nicht anonymen Shareholdern verpflichtet. – Es könnte gemeinwohlorientiert, unabhängig und identitätsstiftend ausgerichtet und dem Wahrhaftigkeits- und Achtungsgebot sowie zur Einhaltung journalistischer Grundsätze verpflichtet sein. – Es könnte auf den Verkauf von Daten verzichten und wäre nicht auf die (Daten-) Ausbeutung der Nutzer angewiesen.
– Ein solcher öffentlich-rechtlicher Netzauftritt könnte durch einen gesellschaftlichen Integrationsauftrag der Spaltung der Öffentlichkeit und darüber hinaus Hassreden und Verschwörungsdenken entgegenwirken. – Eine solche Plattform könnte mit dem Versprechen an die Nutzer verbunden sein, dass die Daten geschützt und die Algorithmen transparent gemacht würden.
– Außerdem könnte im Sinne eines kommunikativen Versorgungsauftrags zusätzlich für die Inhalte eine Creative Commons-Lizenz vergeben werden, sodass die Inhalte von den Usern beliebig (z.B. auch als schulische Lernmittel) genutzt werden könnten.Öffentlich-rechtliche Plattform, um die Demokratie zu schützen
Einen Einstieg in eine solche Plattform haben ARD und ZDF mit dem Jugendangebot „funk.net“ für eine jüngeres Publikum gemacht. Auch die Mediatheken sind nicht-lineare Angebote, die aber bisher ein Schattendasein fristen. Bis es eine solche gemeinsame Plattform gibt, sollten ARD und ZDF mit den kommerziellen Digitalunternehmen enger zusammenarbeiten, um die nachrichtliche Aktualität und gesellschaftlich relevante Themen dort nutzerfreundlich und bevorzugt zu verbreiten. Letztendlich sind allerdings bei dieser Kooperation die privaten Plattformen die Gewinner, indem ihnen weitgehend kostenlos Inhalte geliefert werden und die eigene Marke der öffentlich-rechtlichen Angebote für die Nutzerinnen und Nutzer nicht oder kaum sichtbar wird, sondern auch noch der Eindruck entstehen kann, als würde es sich um Content der Internet-Oligopolisten selbst handeln. Angesichts der geschilderten Gefährdungen für unsere Demokratie wäre es Aufgabe und Pflicht aller politisch Verantwortlichen und aller demokratischen Parteien, solche Institutionen, die für eine funktionierende Demokratie wesentlich sind besonders zu schützen und zu stärken. Leider verläuft die aktuelle Diskussion über den öffentlich-rechtlichen Rundfunk – einer für unsere Demokratie tragenden Institution – in die gegenteilige, gegen den Verfassungsauftrag des Grundgesetzes laufende Richtung.
Aus der Sicht der Feinde unserer Demokratie ist es daher nur folgerichtig, den öffentlich-rechtlichen Rundfunk abzuschaffen, wie es die AfD fordert. Wenn in einem östlichen Bundesland ein Kandidat der AfD zum Ministerpräsidenten gewählt würde, bestünde die Gefahr, dass der MDR-Staatsvertrag aufgekündigt oder ein neuer Staatsvertrag zwischen den Ländern verhindert werden könnte. Der für die Wahrung der Demokratie ebenso kostitutive öffentlich-rechtliche Rundfunk ist in den Verfassungen der Länder ähnlich schlecht geschützt, wie der Bestand und demokratische Besetzung der Verfassungsgerichte. Die Zeitungs- und Zeitschriftenverleger fürchten leider die Konkurrenz einer Internetplattform des öffentlich-rechtlichen Rundfunks für ihre eigenen Netzangebote, denn sie vermuten, dass ihnen damit Werbegelder abgezogen werden könnten. Dabei sehen sie den „Elefanten im Raum“ nicht, nämlich die privaten Internetoligopolisten, die schon jetzt den Löwenanteil des Werbekuchens an sich gerissen haben und immer gefräßiger werden. Vielleicht wäre deshalb eine gemeinsame Plattform des öffentlich-rechtlichen Rundfunks möglicherweise auch zusammen mit privaten Qualitätsmedien einer ernsthaften Prüfung wert.
Um die Konkurrenzfähigkeit gegenüber den BigTech-Oligopolisten herzustellen, müssten eher mehr Finanzmittel gewährt werden, statt dass – wie gegenwärtig – in erster Linie über Einsparungen bei den Rundfunkanstalten diskutiert wird.
Ob ein solches beitragsfinanziertes, öffentlich-rechtliches Angebot ausreichend Publikum fände, ist zwar ungewiss und wird vielfach bezweifelt, aber immerhin bestünde eine Alternative zu den Internet-Oligopolen und ein Angebot für eine demokratische „mediale Grundversorgung“. Voraussetzung für einen Erfolg wären jedoch auch die genannten Maßnahmen, die uns vor Vorherrschaft der Digital-Konzerne wenigstens ein Stück weit befreiten. Immerhin wünschen sich nach einer Umfrage des Digitalverbandes Bitkom 90 Prozent der Befragten, die online Nachrichten aufnehmen, angesichts der Unübersichtlichkeit der Nachrichten im Netz dort einen Ort, an dem sie verlässliche und journalistisch geprüfte Informationen finden könnten. Kurz: Ein solches beitragsfinanziertes, öffentlich-rechtliches Angebot wäre nach meiner Ansicht ein immer wichtiger werdender Beitrag zur Stärkung der Meinungsvielfalt und damit zur Demokratisierung des Internets.
Dieser Beitrag ist eine Übernahme aus dem hier von Roland Appel annoncierten Buch. Dort finden Sie auch 105 Fussnoten zu dieser Ausarbeitung. Eine frühere Version des Themas von Wolfgang Lieb hatten wir hier.
Über Wolfgang Lieb:
Unter der Kennung "Gastautor:innen" fassen wir die unterschiedlichsten Beiträge externer Quellen zusammen, die wir dankbar im Beueler-Extradienst (wieder-)veröffentlichen dürfen. Die Autor*innen, Quellen und ggf. Lizenzen sind, soweit bekannt, jeweils im Beitrag vermerkt und/oder verlinkt.
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Ja, deswegen verstehe ich auch die Zurückhaltung vieler, sich zu äußern. Aber ich habe mich in der Vergangenheit auch bereits zu Aussagen von Xavier Naidoo , Attila Hildmann, Markus Krall, Michael Ballweg, Hoss & Hopf u.v.m. geäußert und werde auch weiterhin wo nötig aufklären.
#XavierNaidoo #AttilaHildmann #HossundHopf #MarkusKrall #MichaelBallweg #FelixBlume
https://digitalcourage.social/@BlumeEvolution/116516712406132741
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Trump Heckles Europe Before Heading to Davos – The New York Times
President Trump, who is scheduled to speak in Davos, Switzerland, on Wednesday, has been heaping dismissive scorn on many of the leaders he will greet there. Credit…Eric Lee for The New York Times.Trump Heckles Europe Before Heading to Davos
As European leaders try to engage with the American president over Greenland and the future of Ukraine, he is mocking them as weak.
Listen to this article · 4:59 min Learn more
Credit…Eric Lee for The New York Times.By Michael D. Shear and Jeanna Smialek
Jan. 20, 2026, Updated 3:32 p.m. ET
President Trump and his entourage will be in Europe this week. And they are showing their contempt.
Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent, already hobnobbing with elites at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, had a sharp retort when reporters asked him about European leaders’ efforts to block Mr. Trump from seizing Greenland.
“I imagine they will form the dreaded European working group,” Mr. Bessent said, calling it their “most forceful weapon.”
It is no secret that the president and his aides view Europe as a weak, ineffectual collection of nations dominated by liberal leaders and tangled in bureaucracy. His administration’s official national security strategy, released last month, said Europe had lost its “civilizational self-confidence” amid a “failed focus on regulatory suffocation.”
But rarely has the mocking been so overt.
European leaders’ “most forceful weapon” is “the dreaded European working group,” Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent said at the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland. Credit…Markus Schreiber / Associated PressEarly on Tuesday morning, as Europe’s leaders continued to wring their hands over the president’s latest threats to Greenland, Mr. Trump posted an apparently A.I.-generated meme that showed him hoisting an American flag while standing on the island.
Editor’s Note: The cartoonish image of standing on Greenland, from Truth Social, my edits, I cleaned it up a bit. 🙂 … –DrWeb
“Greenland. U.S. Territory. Est. 2026,” the meme read.
Mr. Trump had not even arrived in Switzerland yet. But as he prepared to speak there on Wednesday, he continued to heap dismissive scorn on the leaders he was about to greet.
When reporters told Mr. Trump that President Emmanuel Macron of France was not going to join the American-led “Board of Peace” overseeing Gaza, Mr. Trump waved aside Mr. Macron’s opinions as irrelevant, saying he would be “out of office in a few months.”
“I’ll put a 200 percent tariff on his wines and Champagnes, and he’ll join, but he doesn’t have to join,” the president said, flexing the power of the American market and underscoring France’s vulnerability to his whims.
He also posted flattering messages from Mr. Macron and Mark Rutte, the Secretary General of NATO, on Truth Social — showing just how much European leaders are heaping praise on Mr. Trump in what appears to be an attempt to keep him engaged.
“I will use my media engagements in Davos to highlight your work,” Mr. Rutte wrote in the message that Mr. Trump shared.
“Let us try to build great things,” Mr. Macron said, though he also noted: “I do not understand what you are doing on Greenland.”
Mr. Trump also targeted Prime Minister Keir Starmer of Britain, giving him his signature all-caps treatment as he complained that the United Kingdom had decided to give up sovereignty of Diego Garcia and the other Chagos Islands, while retaining control of a U.K.- and U.S.-operated military base there.
In 2024, the United Kingdom relinquished control of the islands, a remote archipelago it had held since the colonial era, to Mauritius. Secretary of State Marco Rubio later praised the deal, which came after years of negotiations, and after a court found that Britain had acted unlawfully by detaching the archipelago from Mauritius in 1965.
“Our ‘brilliant’ NATO Ally, the United Kingdom, is currently planning to give away the Island of Diego Garcia,” the president wrote on his social media site, accusing Britain of doing so “FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER.”
He added that international powers “only recognize STRENGTH” and that giving away the island was an “act of GREAT STUPIDITY.”
Mr. Trump’s heckling has troubled European leaders, many of whom are hoping to communicate with him on the sidelines of the Davos meetings. Leaders from across the 27-nation European Union will also gather in Brussels on Thursday evening to discuss how to respond to his latest threats on Greenland.
As the United States looks like a more and more volatile ally — and a hugely unpredictable one — European leaders are saying the continent must move away from its tight ties to America.
Editor’s Note: Read the rest of the story, at the below link.
Continue/Read Original Article Here: Trump Heckles Europe Before Heading to Davos – The New York Times
Tags: Bessent, Criticizes, Davos, Europe, European Nations, Greenland, Jeanna Smialek, Michael D. Shear, Slams, Switzerland, The New York Times, Trump, Trump 1.2, Trump Administration, Ukraine
#Bessent #Criticizes #Davos #Europe #EuropeanNations #Greenland #JeannaSmialek #MichaelDShear #Slams #Switzerland #TheNewYorkTimes #Trump #Trump12 #TrumpAdministration #Ukraine -
Aust pulled a piece of parchment from his desk and uncurled it. Before settling in, he rose to toss another log onto the fire. He had wanted to pen this letter all day and he wasn’t going to allow the cold to drive him to bed early.
It had been a rather long day, filled with the tedium that accompanies the job of fort-master. But he didn’t mind the tedium, now did he? He had seen so much death in his adventuring days. His current boredom was almost a welcome break from a life of danger.
Still, he would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy revisiting memories of those days. All of his friends were dead, save for a few who he’d lost track of. Luffy the bard had left long ago without so much as a goodbye. Aust had tried to do his due diligence to find her before starting his memoirs. But, it seemed his detective skills were lacking.
No one else from those days remained, so Aust decided that it was up to him to tell the stories of those fallen. He’d written the whole thing up within a fortnight and sent it off to Slateholm for publishing. However, the printing company was rather particular about the content which they published. Aust had already had a bit of a back and forth with them over it and their latest criticisms needed addressing.
So he set aside the worries of the day, dipped his quill into the ink pot and set it to parchment.
I received your most recent letter. While I certainly appreciate the feedback on the latest chapter, I do take issue with your reluctance to accept my account as true. You were correct to point out that no one remains to corroborate my tale. But I would be remiss to point out that using such logic as the sole reason to discount my reports is fallacious.
With that said, I do understand the publishing world is not my trained area of expertise. So I shall make an effort to revise my accounting in a more understated manner. Perhaps then, the veracity of my claims will be harder to call into question. I’ve attached the first chapter of this newly revised document to this letter.
Yours truly,
Commander Aust Raveren
Morgansfort
Aust grabbed the mug and headed back to the table. The dwarf had just witnessed the brutal slaying of a fellow adventurer, the barely infamous Jean-Locke Keyes. Aust had narrowly escaped the same similar fate. He and his group had ventured into a nearby dungeon and were beset upon by a hoard of skeletons on their way out.
He took a swig of the ale to soothe his nerves and winced. He feared the rancid drink set out to finish the job the skeletons had begun.
“The worst drinks I’ve had in the Western Lands so far,” Bregedur said. His normally enchanting voice now sounded tired and shaken. Aust hadn’t even noticed that Breg had joined him. It was quite the feat to miss the purple-haired elf. His nerves must have been more shaken than he realized. “Luffy wants to go back tomorrow,” the elf continued. “Personally, I do as well. But I’m not keen on her leadership abilities.”
Aust took another drink of the ale. “I hadn’t realized she considered herself a leader.”
“Well, she gathered us all together,” Breg replied. “And she’s the most experienced adventurer of our group. She seems eager to get that treasure, for which she needs us.”
“Right.”
“Anyway, I plan on taking charge of this thing. I’ve already spoken to a few of the others and they support me.”
Aust regarded the magenta-mage with a cool stare. He was bold…but smart. He lacked experience but exuded an aura of confidence. “Aye, then you’ll have my support as well.” He conceded. To be honest, Aust had no reason to doubt the elf. In fact, he did like him. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to return to the scene of their near demise.
The party descended into the darkness, remaining cautious. Their torches were all that lit the room but it was enough to reveal the pile of bones on the floor near the foot of the stairs.
“Oh no,” Eliana cried under her breath.
“Picked clean.” Luffy said.
Aust felt a little sick to his stomach. He’d never actually seen death firsthand like this. His short stint at the necromancer school hadn’t involved any live practice, just the study of old tomes. Somehow, he’d never realized that the first step to practicing the art involves killing something. Or someone.
The group fell silent, perhaps out of reverence. But the young dwarf believed the silence was born out of fear. Surely they all felt the same fear he had upon being back in the place.
He sought to relieve their tension and bring forth some levity. “Hey, Jean! How the hells have you been man!” Aust shouted jovially while approaching the pile of bones.
“Ohh,” he heard Luffy murmur in horror. Was she disturbed by Jean’s passing or Aust’s joke? The dwarf couldn’t tell.
“Hey y’all! What ya doing down here!” A thick accent interjected the silence. It caused Aust to fall onto his rump and elicited a scream from Eliana.
“Who the hell are you!?” Bregedur exclaimed.
“The name’s Jim-Bob Jacobson,” came shadowy figure’s drawl. “I saw your group up on the surface and decided to follow you down.” He dropped the pleasant tone and looked down at his feet. “To be honest with you folk, I’m rather hungry. I thought you might know where I could find something to bring home to my family. The soil’s not been too kind to us this season.” He said the words deliberately as though we had coerced him into revealing a secret shame.”
“I like the name Jimmy better” Aust said. He spat on the ground.
“Oh…kay,” Jimmy answered in confusion.
“I’m sorry, who are you?” Quinnan, our replacement thief, had returned from scouting for danger.
Jim-Bob!” Jimmy’s voice had regained the pleasant lilt it had when he first introduced himself.
Bregedur stepped forward, his torch illuminating the newcomer. He was indeed the very image of a farmer, even down to the dirt on his breeches. Though, his oversized clothes hung off his malnourished frame like rags on a skeleton. “I’m sort of the leader,” Breg said. “You can come with us, but you’ll need to fight. What sort of equipment are you familiar with?”
“I’m pretty good with a plough,” Jimmy answered.
“He’s sort of the what now?” Luffy’s delayed response didn’t interrupt their exchange
Bregedur handed him a hatchet, “Fighters usually go in front Since they can take a hit better.”
Jimmy looked at the sword and furrowed his brow. “I-I’m not really a-”
“Look guys, we were so upset about Jean, but now we have two new recruits to take his place!” Aust’s attempts at boosting morale fell on deaf ears.
“Oh right, Jean!” Eliana exclaimed as she stooped down at the pile of bones. “It’s Important that we take something of him back to bury!” She gathered a few of his bones and placed them in her back.
Jimmy watched as the elven woman stood up. “Are you saying…that used to be one of your friends?” He pointed at the bones.
“Hardly a friend. We’d just met him.” Bregedur said coolly.
Aust threw his arm across Jimmy’s shoulder. “And we’d bury your body parts too, if something happened to you!””
Eliana laughed awkwardly, “Goodness Aust. Don’t frighten him! I’m sure nothing is going to happen to any of us. We’re prepared now.”
Commander,
I hope this letter finds you at peace. As I understand the pressures of managing a fort cannot be few.
In regards to your most recent and earlier submissions to our agency: I didn’t mean to call into question the bulk of your work. It is a simple yet unfortunate fact that those that choose the career of adventurer are oft dead before their tale can ever be told. Your attempt to honor your fallen comrades at all is one we at the Slateholm Slate admire.
It was instead the claims made that are easily verified as fiction that we wished to bring to your attention. I do not wish to bring forth some traumatic memory, but we cannot in good conscience publish your work with the ‘About the Author’ segment as it is written. Perhaps you did not consider this, but when our reporter first visited you at the fort, he took a rather detailed accounting of your physical features. And, at least according to all known medical research on the topic as well as current census data, there has never been and likely never will be a dwarf that measures one point nine meters tall.
Further, after receiving your short biography, we investigated the Necromancer College you claim to have attended. You might imagine our surprise when we learned that it is not an accredited school at all. The address led us to the home of a pair of elderly dwarves who did confirm their familiarity with you. Beyond that, they would answer no other questions however, and instead spent the entire visit attempting to hide (quite badly, I might add) superficial evidence of necromantic practices. The dwarf woman threatened to turn our investigator into a worm thrall, despite much evidence to suggest he was not dead. Regardless, she performed the ritual anyway. And upon learning that the man had in fact not become her zombie servant, she grew quite angry and tried to set him on fire.
I did say that the content of your epic was not at issue. However we did pass along part of it to one of our consultant scholars. They confirmed that, outside of magical influence, it isn’t possible for a prone individual to fall face first onto an arrow that is mid-flight. This is particularly true if the person is trapped under a table. To put it simply, the scene, as you described it, is not possible.
Whatever your involvement is with the Dwarven couple, I recommend you excise that segment from your bio entirely. The Church of Tah is quite influential here. And I worry that any work written by a professed necromancer would be subject to extra scrutiny.
Regardless of all this, I look forward to your next revision.
Markus Strongarm,
Slateholm Slate Publishing Company
The flask bounced off the hard shell of the giant ant. It clattered to the floor, broke open, and spilled oil out onto the floor. The ant immediately ceased moving and its antennae began wiggling.
“Do it, Aust!” Bregedur commanded. The elf leader had grown more daring as of late it seemed. With each passing day it was as if he tempted the fates with their very lives. Still, he had carried many of them this far without harm. The same could not be said for the ones who had not survived of course. But it would be a disservice not to recognize the accomplishment. “Do it,” he chanted again.
The dwarf half-elf reached down into his bag and gave Jimmy a soft pat, “Let’s hope we make it out of this one, pal.” When Jimmy died on his first adventure, Aust remembered the promise he’d made him. But it would have been too much of a burden to carry his body around. So instead the party had opted to remove the poor farmer’s head and take it back with them to be buried.
However, Aust had felt rather sorry for the fellow, having seen him die on his first night with the group. He was determined to enable Jimmy to soldier on and accompany them on the rest of their adventure. So he drew upon knowledge taught to him at the College of Necromancy Grurid & Ethel’s Academy for Homeschooled Necromancers. He first removed the innards from Jimmy’s head and buried them. He then boiled the outer skin. This preserved Jimmy’s head into a form that would not decompose as well as made it much more convenient to carry around.
Jimmy had been much more jovial ever since. The little fellow had never ceased to keep Aust entertained even during their most desolate of journeys. There was no danger so frightening that Jimmy could not bring levity to with one of his well-timed wisecracks. It was such a shame that the rest of the party always seemed to miss the jolly fellow’s jokes. Perhaps it was because he was always stored in his bag. Aust had first cinched Jimmy to his belt, but other members of the group claimed that the sight of him was too morbid. Aust didn’t understand what they meant.
But here they were, facing an all new danger. And, although they did not know it, it was the toughest fight they would ever face.
“Alright,” Aust said. He abandoned all reluctance and tossed his torch forwards. It arced gracefully before landing in the oil at the feet of the giant ants.
Aust thought the fire would blind him as it roared up. The ants, on the other hand, did not seem to mind the heat or the light, as they charged right through the flames. It appeared that their hardy carapaces protected them from the fire.
“Hey, that didn’t really work.” Eliana said.
“That’s weird,” Bregedur scratched his head. “Fire’s never failed me before.”
The ants breached the flames and approached the arsonists who had invaded their home.
“Run!” Bregedur shouted. Aust wasted no time and climbed over Alain, who stood behind him.
“Watch it!” Alain complained. But Aust didn’t listen.
The ants reached Bregedur first. Aust could hear his screams even as he exited the room they were in. He glanced over his shoulder to see the elf lying on the ground, bleeding out.
To Aust’s surprise, he also saw Eliana running alongside him. She had made it out of the room. Unfortunately, Alain had not been so lucky as he was the very next to go. Aust saw one of the ants snap his head off with its giant pincers.
The dwarf half-elf felt guilty and almost turned back. There were so many perfectly good body parts going to waste. But no. He did not wish to join his companions in death that day. He would do something to commemorate them, if he made it out alive.
As they reached the outer hallway he felt Eliana thrust something into his palm. “Here,” she said through huffs of air. Breg tossed me this before he fell. You should wield it.
It was Burst, Bregedur’s sword. It was a fine sword, both beautifully crafted and enchanted with powerful mage. If its wielder exclaimed ‘Burst’, the blade would be lit afire. Such a weapon could amputate any body part one desired as well as cauterize the wound. Not that Aust ever took parts from the living, of course. But he still had to admire the functionality of the sword.
After some time it seemed the ants had retreated deeper into the dungeon. And when the pair met back up with the rest of the group, they had to report the sad news.
Luffy was silent for a long moment. After exhaling, she said, “Well, we shouldn’t be surprised.””
“What?” Aust felt shocked.
“We let ourselves blindly follow Bregedur,” Luffy swallowed hard. “And he led us off a cliff.”
“That’s not true!” Eliana said, fighting back tears. “Bregedur was a great man. A great elf!”
“Eliana…” Aust began. He searched for the right words. He was hurting too, but it was hard to miss the truth in Luffy’s words. “Eliana, he got people killed.”
Eliana shook her head. “If he failed, it’s because we failed him.”
Luffy sighed again and walked over to the grieving elven woman. She placed a hand on her shoulder.
“Eliana,” she began. “He may have been a hero. He may even have been a great elf. But in the end, he was a bad captain.”
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#Whisky Horst (hXXps://www.whisky.de/) haben die vielen #Tastings wohl die Birne vernebelt. Warum auch immer er bei einer geplanten rechten #Großveranstaltung als Redner auftritt, ist mir ansonsten unverständlich. Bei ihm kann man daher (leider) auch nichts mehr bestellen. Habe ich zwar schon jahrelang nicht mehr, trotzdem zur Info:
Am 7. September ist eine rechte Großveranstaltung in der #Liederhalle in #Stuttgart mit einer Reihe widerlicher Personen als Redner*Innen geplant:
Václav Klaus, Norbert Bolz, Markus Krall, Fritz Vahrenholt, Frauke Petry, Ulrich Vosgerau, Klaus-Rüdiger Mai, Horst Lüning, Oliver Gorus.
Ob das wirklich "groß" wird, kann ich leider nicht abschätzen. Der Eintritt kostet 150€, von daher ist klar, an welche Personengruppen sich diese richtet, allerdings sollte die Einladung "Kommen Sie alle!" vielleicht trotzdem vor allem von Antifaschist*Innen wahrgenommen werden. Hier zur Webseite der Veranstaltung der Gorus Media GmbH (Hintergrund: https://www.companyhouse.de/Oliver-Gorus-Moos sowie zur Person des veranstaltenden Anomiekapitalisten: hXXps://oliver-gorus.de/positionen)
hXXps://buergergipfel.de/ #Antifa #Hintergrund #NoNazis auch keine #Wirtschaftsradikalen @antifaticker
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#CLCamp26 Erlebnisse und Erkenntnisse
Auf der Heimfahrt vom diesjährigen #CLCamp26 war ich so überwältigt vom Barcamp-Erlebnis vor Ort, dass ich, anstatt die sich schon verflüchtigenden Erinnerungen an meine eigenen Sessions zu notieren, ein schnelles Stimmungsbild tippte.
Am Wochenende danach fühlte ich mich erschöpft. Zwei übervolle Tage zollen ihren Tribut. Mittlerweile hat mich der Arbeitalltag wieder, aber der Vibe meines Heimfahrt-Beitrags ist nicht verflogen. Gerade in der täglichen Arbeit bin ich umso dankbarer, dass es die Corporate Learning Community gibt … über die ich immer wieder behaupte, dass sie mir seit 2017 neue Perspektiven auf und deshalb Freude an meiner Profession gegeben hat. Es ist unbedingt notwendig, zumindest einmal im Jahr die täglichen Berufs-Konstellationen und das eigene berufliche Wirkfeld gemeinsam mit Mitwirkenden nicht aus direkter Projekt- oder Vertriebs-Perspektive zu betrachten, sondern sich gegenseitig mit Überzeugungen, Zweifeln, Einsichten oder nur lose verpackten Kritik zu konfrontieren, die das grundlegendere Verständnis für unsere Branche und deren Spielregeln weiten. (Mehr dazu schreibe ich in meinem CLC-Buchbeitrag „Eine Verteidigung der Corporate Learning Community“).
Auch dieses Jahr wieder hatte ich Sorge, dass der zerstörerisch wütende „KI“-Bullshit die Sessions dominiert. Die Sorge war berechtigt. In jedem Slot gab es Sessions, in denen Grifter irgendwelche „KI“-Zaubertricks exerzierten. Dennoch schien es mir, dass der Begriff „KI“ in der individuellen Vorstellungsrunde deutlich weniger dominierte als noch letztes Jahr, und dass ich im direkten Gespräch Verbündete fand, die mit ähnlichem Entsetzen wie ich auf die Zerstörung blicken, die die gesellschaftlich-politischen „KI“-Narrative der Tech-Nationalist:innen, der LinkedIn-Bros aber auch der diese Narrative übernehmenden Anwender:innen weiterhin anrichten. „Ich hab mal die KI gefragt“ … diesen intellektuellen Offenbarungseid habe ich glücklicherweise seltener gehört als noch die letzten Tage. Und in den Pausengesprächen mit Community-Mitgliedern, die entsprechende Sessions besucht hatten und daraus berichteten, offenbarte sich, dass die Argumente der „KI“-Grifter immer fadenscheiniger und ihre Tricks immer durchschaubarer werden.
Die Barcamp-Magie des Zwischen-den-Sessions und Drumherum
Bevor ich einige der von mir besuchten Sessions rekapituliere, blicke ich auf meine Notizen, die ich zwischen den Sessions gemacht habe.
Die Hashtags der Vorstellungsrunde schienen mir so sehr geprägt von zwischenmenschlichen Anliegen, wie schon lange nicht mehr. Sind viele von uns der „Digitalisierung“ und des „KI“-Theaters müde? Sehnen wir uns nach Erfahrungen des situativen Spielraums und der Begegnung? (Ja, vielleicht bin ich gerade auch beeindruckt von meiner Anreiselektüre: „Situation und Konstellation“ von Hartmut Rosa.)
Drückt sich diese gefühlte Digital-Müdigkeit auch dadurch aus, dass die Vorort-Tickets des Barcamps endlich mal wieder ausverkauft waren und nicht annähernd so viele Online-Teilgebenden und -Sessions angeboten wurden wie vor Ort? Dass es einen beliebten „roten Raum“ ohne Technik gab, in dem ich mich so verbunden fühlte wie in manchen Sessions 2017 und 2018, die konsequent auf menschlich-körperlich-aufmerksames und ganz analoges Improvisieren setzten?
Der Ruf nach ‚echten Begegnungen‘ mag abgestanden klingen und in der täglichen Arbeit liegt es mir völlig fern, ihn unreflektiert nachzuplappern. Ich schätze es, nicht mehr für eine einstündige Powerpoint-Präsentation morgens um 5 Uhr von Berlin nach München und nachmittags wieder zurück fliegen zu müssen (was haben wir damit jahrelang angerichtet?). Ich respektiere gut organisierte Online-Meetings und sowohl aus privaten als auch aus dienstlich-ökonomischen Gründen ist es mir ein Anliegen, nicht unnötig Kraft und Geld in vermeidbare Reisetätigkeit zu versenken, die besser in die gute Konzeption und Moderation von Online-Events investiert wäre. Gute Begegnungen sind online möglich und erstrebenswert. Hybrid-Meetings sind im geschäftlichen Kontext oft ein sinnvoller Kompromiss, insbesondere dann, wenn dadurch die Beteiligung diverser Interessensvertreter:innen ermöglicht und erhöht wird. Im Barcamp-Kontext sehe ich das anders. Wenn es uns möglich ist, Barcamps in regelmäßigen Abständen durchzuführen, plädiere ich vehement für einen Wechsel zwischen Onsite-only und Online-only. Barcamp-Hybrid ist für mich weiterhin ein schlechter Kompromiss, der uns unnötig belastet und einhegt und mir auch rein ökonomisch wenig sinnvoll scheint.Trotz oder gerade wegen meiner Hybrid-Skepsis bin ich begeistert, wie wir es diesmal das erste Mal seit dem Twitter-Aus geschafft haben, wieder einen lebendigen, begleitenden und das Barcamp erweiternden semi-synchronen Digital-Layer zu weben – im Fediverse! Das Orga-Team und mehrere Teilgebenden haben sich sehr ins Zeug gelegt, schon im Vorfeld die Aufmerksamkeit auf Mastodon und insbesondere unsere eigene colearn.social-Instanz zu lenken. Vor Ort gab es eine Mastowall, Simon und Karlheinz haben eine Mastodon-als-Lernbooster-Session angeboten, auf Flyern und in regelmäßigen Hinweisen wurde auf das Fediverse hingewiesen und es wurde ein Beitrags-Wettbewerb ausgelobt. Während der Veranstaltung haben sehr viele Community-Mitglieder neue Accounts angelegt und die Timeline mit dem #CLCamp26 Hashtag war während des Events und ist auch jetzt im Nachgang noch lebendig. Harald hatte sogar den Community-übergreifenden #colearn Hashtag in selbst gesägten Holzbuchstaben auf die Bühne gestellt. Während letztes Jahr mehr LinkedIn als Mastodon genutzt wurde, hat sich das dieses Jahr erfreulicherweise gewandelt und auf LinkedIn blieb es dafür vergleichsweise ruhig. Ich habe Hoffnung, dass wir mit dem diesjährigen Engagement den Wechsel ins Fediverse wirklich vollzogen haben. Und vielleicht haben auch die Community-Mitglieder, die die letzten Jahre noch sehr sporadisch auf Mastodon posteten, diesmal Gefallen daran gefunden? Ich hoffe sehr, dass das Engagement auch zwischen den Barcamps aufrechterhalten wird.
Gute Veranstaltungen reichen über den eigentlichen Event-Zeitraum hinaus. Sie werden bereichert und bereichern die Vor- und Nachbereitung und alles, was sie ungeplant und unorganisiert anstoßen. Die Aufregung darüber im Netz, das kanalisierte Interesse der Teilgebenden schon lange im Vorfeld, die Inspiration, die sie den Teilgebenden für die Tage und Wochen danach mitgeben, das Sprechen darüber, die durch sie ausgelösten Begegnungen, all das, worüber ich hier schreibe (und dass ich überhaupt schreibe!). Der im letzten Abschnitt erwähnte digitale Layer trägt maßgeblich dazu bei.
Als ich nach Gabrieles und meiner Session zu „Lernressourcen“ (mehr dazu weiter unten) meine Mastodon-Timeline aufrief, stellte ich erfreut fest, dass die Session, während sie lief, durch mehrere Teilgebende aufmerksam dokumentiert und kommentiert worden war. Wenn Teilgebende während Deiner Session auf ihre Handys starren, ist das in der Corporate Learning Community ein gutes Zeichen! Eine Reihe an Beiträgen stach heraus: Markus Metz, der online zugeschaltet war und sich während der Session im Hintergrund hielt, hatte den Austausch aufmerksam verfolgt und ihn in der ihm eigenen kurzen, prägnanten und reflektierten Art in mehreren Beiträgen zusammengefasst und weitergesponnen.
Ebenfalls über Mastodon organisiert fanden sich Frauke, Christian Kaiser, Felix Harling und ich zu einem Austausch über Art of Hosting zusammen. Ich hatte Fraukes „Art of Hosting“-Erwähnung in der Vorstellungsrunde mitbekommen und dann auf ihrem Mastodon-Profil wiederentdeckt … und ein paar Nachrichten später hatte sich unsere kleine spontane Austauschgruppe gefunden. So funktioniert Peermatching im Fediverse! Und schon zu Beginn des Camps kam Felix auf mich zu: Er hatte mitbekommen, dass ich mich im Sommer für das Art of Hosting Training in Bad Boll angemeldet hatte … so wie er auch. Dort werden wir uns also wiedersehen. Ich freue mich schon jetzt darauf!
Kein Matching benötigte der Austausch mit Johanna Brühl. Ihre damals auf dem CLC19-Barcamp in Koblenz eingebrachte „Wandelgang“-Session hatte ich noch in guter Erinnerung … obwohl ich sie damals wegen einer parallel stattfindenden Session gar nicht besuchen konnte. Schon damals hatten wir uns zum Lernen beim Spazierengehen ausgetauscht, einer Leidenschaft, die ich mit ihr und anderen Mitgliedern der CLC teile. Sechs Jahre und eine spaziergangreiche Pandemie später konnten wir nahtlos daran anschließen. Besonders resonierte Johannas derzeitige Auseinandersetzung mit der „Lernenden Stadt“ in mir. Über (auch physische) Lernräume und -orte spreche ich z. B. regelmäßig mit Peter Überfeldt. Johannas Begriff „Lernende Stadt“ deute ich für mich einfach mal als antikapitalistische, psychogeographische Ausdehnung der „Lerndenden Organisation“ auf unsere Habitate in der Klimakrise … und weil ich den Begriff von Johanna im Zusammenhang mit Persönlichem Wissensmanagement hörte, packe ich mir gleich einen ganzen Rucksack weiterer Assoziationen hinein, über die ich nachdenken möchte: Kollektives Gedächtnis und kollektive Intelligenz, Stadt als Geschichtsschreibung und Museum, architektonische Wissensanker etc … . Ganz unabhängig von diesen Ideen, die der Austausch mit Johanna in mir angestoßen hat, haben wir uns zur Gründung eines Sketchnoting-lernOS-Lernzirkels verabredet. (Und mittlerweile habe ich einige dieser Gedanken auch in meinen regelmäßigen Austausch mit Peter übernommen … verbreite die Ideen aus dem #CLCamp26 also weiter …).
Am Wochenende nach dem Barcamp überraschte und erfreute Heidi Milke-Erlwein auf LinkedIn mit einer Sketchnote, in der sie die von ihr besuchten Sessions (unter anderem meine Sessions zu Lernressourcen und Informelle Lernräume) prägnant zusammengefasst und ebenfalls weiter verarbeitet hatte. Diese Sketchnote ist ein Fundgrube, die ich ebenfalls noch weiter erschließen möchte, sobald ich die Zeit dazu finde.Und am folgenden Montag schrieb Stephanie Reiner ebenfalls auf LinkedIn eine Verarbeitung ihrer Inspirationen aus unserer Lernressourcen-Session mit umfassenden Hinweisen zum Weiterforschen. Bisher waren Gabriele und ich ja ganz hemdärmelig unterwegs gewesen, während Stephanie zum Thema promoviert. Schon direkt nach der Session hatte sie wertvolle Quellenhinweise auf unserem Etherpad platziert, die sie nun im LinkedIn-Beitrag sortiert, aufbereitet und kommentiert hat.
Auf diesem #CLCamp26 ist meine Art, Notizen zu machen, völlig aus dem Ruder gelaufen. Ich manchen Sessions habe ich meine Notizen direkt auf Mastodon gepostet, in anderen in meine Notizen-App getippt, wieder andere als Sprachnotiz eingesprochen. Es ist ein Chaos, das es entdeckend zu ordnen gilt. Nein, keine „KI“ wird mir das abnehmen und ich freue mich darauf, auch wenn es vielleicht noch Wochen dauern wird.
Da meine Kolleg:innen Katharina Vögl-Duschek und Johannes Wendt mir mir an diesen Freitag in einem internen „Fridays for Learning“ unsere #CLCamp26-Eindrücke mit anderen Kolleg:innen teilen werden, dient mir dieser Blogbeitrag als Start, die von mir besuchten Sessions zumindest flüchtig zu rekapitulieren und festzuhalten. Wir gehen rein.
Die 16 Stellhebel erfolgreicher Learning Circles (Nele Graf und Carla Rockenstein)
Der Raum war überfüllt. Lernzirkel – ein alter Hut? Nicht für die Teilgebenden! Die Vorerfahrungen waren unterschiedlich. Einige Teilgebende waren mit Lernzirkeln noch überhaupt nicht vertraut, andere sind WOL-Pioniere der ersten Stunde oder bilden selbst Lernzirkel-Coaches aus. Nele und Carla gaben eine kurze Einführung in das Format und legten dabei passend zum CLC-Kontext besonderen Wert auf die Planung und Durchführung interner Lernzirkel in Unternehmen. Ihre Aussage, dass Lernzirkel viele Probleme anderer Formate lösen, kann ich besonders gut nachvollziehen … insbesondere dann, wenn sie integrativ in umfassende Lernkonzepte eingebunden sind und darüber z. B. eine zeitliche Struktur in den Lernprozess bringen und Austausch- und Reflexionsräume schaffen. Nele kritisierte, dass viele Lernansätze immer noch viel zu sehr alleinstehend konzipiert und angeboten werden. Gerade in der Verschränkung klassischer Angebote mit Zirkeln liegt die Musik!
Christian Kaiser betonte, dass Boxenstopps, in der die einzelnen Lernzirkel zusammenkommen und sich synchronisieren, bei der Organisation des selbstorganisierten Lernens helfen können … gerade dann, wenn das anwendende Unternehmen damit noch nicht vertraut ist. Aber zum Selbstläufer würden Lernzirkel dadurch leider noch nicht – dazu braucht es aktive Unterstützung.
Auf die Frage einer Teilgebenden, wer Lernzirkel leite, weist Nele hin: Facilitator sollten sich möglichst schnell überflüssig machen. Es gibt viele Möglichkeiten, Guidance zu geben … zu Beginn vielleicht noch über unterstützende Personen, später dann nur noch über den Lernzirkel-Leitfaden. Die Freiheitsgrade können immer weiter gesteigert werden.
Nele bestätigte viele Aspekte, die Claudia Schütze und ich in unserer LERNLUST-Podcastfolge #51 // Willst Du mit mir zirkeln? bereits besprochen hatten – z. B. dass ein überschaubarer Gesamtzeitraum von z. B. sechs Treffen in vielen Unternehmen passender ist als die vollen 12 Wochen, die meist für Verstetigung von Verhalten empfohlen wird. Bedenkenswert ist in diesem Zusammenhang auch Neles Hinweis, dass je nach Thema und Gruppe die Taktung der Zirkeltreffen unterschiedlich sein sollte: Für manche Themen und Gruppen sollte die Regelmäßigkeit der wöchentlichen Treffen beachtet werden, andere Themen und Gruppen benötigen ggf. längere Abstände zwischen den Treffen, um dazwischen praktische Erfahrungen zu sammeln.
Es gibt Lernzirkel, deren Mitglieder sich auch nach Ende des Zirkels als Freunde jahrelang regelmäßig weiter treffen und nie wieder mit Lernzirkeln aufhören. Ich kann das aus eigener Erfahrung bestätigen. Dennoch sei es für Lernzirkel gerade innerhalb von Unternehmen schwer, sich zu verstetigen, weil das Format leider immer noch dem verbreiteten Bild von „Arbeit“ entgegenstehe, berichtet Christian.
Bei Lernzirkel-Initiativen, die einen unternehmensübergreifenden Austausch anstreben (für mich einer der wertvollsten Aspekte des Zirkelns!), springt die Bedenkenträgerei leider noch viel schneller an. Die Vorstellung, dass sich Mitarbeitende aus ggf. formal im Wettbewerb zueinander stehenden Unternehmen vertrauensvoll treffen, scheint für viele Führungspersonen Geheimnisverrat gleichzukommen Auch fehle es an offenen Möglichkeiten, Mitzirkelnde zu finden, wird beklagt. Leonid Letzner hat den Peerfinder ja leider eingestellt. Wie könnten wir das Fediverse dafür nutzen, Lernzirkelwillige zusammenzubringen?
Volkmar Langer berichtete, dass sein Unternehmen bei einer großen Behörde Lernzirkel-Coaches ausbildet und Lernzirkel-Initiativen begleitet.
Es war ermutigend, in der Session so viele Stimmen und Praxisbeispiele aus Unternehmen zu hören, die Lernzirkel im Einsatz haben oder Interesse daran zeigen. In den vergangenen Jahren hatte ich hin und wieder die Befürchtung, dass das Format an Attraktivität verlöre. Zumindest in der Session war davon nichts zu spüren. Ich freue mich, dass auch meine Kolleg:innen und ich weiterhin entsprechende Initiativen bei Kunden und intern haben … und für demnächst planen wir auch, uns in einem „Fridays for Learning“ tief in Neles Buch „Die Kraft der Learning Circle“ zu vergraben … denn das ist ein wirklich umfassendes Manual!
Das CLC Buch: Was geht noch? (Jochen Robes)
Auf diese Session freute ich mich besonders, denn hier wollten wir ein Thema zum Abschluss und gleich in eine zweite Runde bringen, das mein vergangenes Jahr prägte: Unser 15-Jahre-CLC-Buch „Gemeinsam lernen, gemeinsam wachsen“. Vor einem Jahr auf dem #clc25 kamen wir zusammen, beschlossen das gemeinsame Schreiben eines Buches, arbeiten über das Jahr daran … und waren pünktlich zum nächsten Barcamp damit fertig.
Schon auf der Anreise zum #CLCamp26 verfolgte ich auf Mastodon, wie die Teilgebenden das Buch als Anreiselektüre im Gepäck hatten und darin lasen:
Zum Aufbau der Initiative an sich wie auch zu Arten, das Ergebnis multimedial weiter zu erschließen, habe ich so viele Ideen, dass ich ihnen einen eigenen Beitrag widmen möchte. Jochen Robes und ich haben dazu vor kurzem auch einen Beitrag für die Zeitschrift „Das kuratierte Dossier“ (Schwerpunktthema „Knowledge and Co-Creation“) der Gesellschaft für Wissensmanagement eingereicht, der Anfang Mai erscheinen wird.
Christian Kaiser meinte, ein bekannter Vorwurf gegenüber Barcamps sei, dass diese sich oft in Gequatsche ohne Ergebnis erschöpfen würden. Das Buch sei Beweis für das Gegenteil. Jochen meinte, Barcamp-Sessions sollten schon versuchen, mit einem Ergebnis zu schließen … warum das dann im Anschluss nicht aufgreifen und weiter daran arbeiten? Ich schließe mich Christian und Jochen an: Für mich ist so ein Buchprojekt ein Prototyp dafür, wie sich Wissensarbeit als Gruppenprozess zwischen zwei Fix-Terminen selbstorganisieren kann: Wenn wir uns in einer Barcamp-Session (oder einem anderen Veranstaltungsformat) sortieren und wissen, dass wir uns in einem Jahr wiedertreffen, lohnt es sich, die Zeit dazwischen zu planen. Wenn jeder auch nur einen Beitrag als ‚Zwischenbericht‘ und eigener Weiterverarbeitung schreibt, auf Video aufnimmt oder anderweitig veröffentlicht, lässt sich daraus ein gemeinsames, die Gruppe stärkendes, neue Beziehungen, Debatten oder Verbindungen schaffendes Ergebnis wie unser Buch erstellen. Damit wird aus unserem Buchprojekt eigentlich ein neues Großgruppenformat … eine Art Mischung aus Open Space, Barcamp und Community of Practice vielleicht? (Christian brachte auch noch das „Harvesting“ aus Art of Hosting ein … die gemeinsame Ernte aus dem Gruppenprozess. Darüber werde ich im Sommer in meinem Training mehr erfahren …)
Wie könnten wir diesen Charakter der gemeinsamen, aber asynchronen Arbeit zwischen zwei Synchronevents auf andere Lernansätze übertragen? Das interessiert mich sehr, darüber möchte ich weiter nachdenken!Was machen wir jetzt mit dem Buch-Ergebnis? Ideen haben wir genug. Tanja Laub schlug eine Art Community-Stammtisch vor, in dessen Rahmen die Autor:innen ihre Beiträge vorstellen. Stef Halimi betonte, dass wir die ursprünglich im Rahmen unseres Online-Booklaunch geplanten Kurzpräsentationen unserer Beiträge noch durchführen sollten (eigentlich wollte ich dazu ein kurzes Video aufnehmen … vielleicht mache ich das noch?). Ich würde gerne vertiefende Podcast-Episoden mit den Autor:innen aufnehmen, um ihnen ausreichend Raum zu geben, die Geschichten hinter ihren Beiträgen hörbar zu machen.
Im zweiten Teil der Session stellte Jochen seine Idee für das nächste Projekt vor: Ein Buch über persönliches Wissensmanagement. Dazu hat er mittlerweile auch einen Aufruf auf das Blog der Corporate Learning Community gesetzt. Natürlich werde ich wieder mitmachen und kann es kaum erwarten, mit der Arbeit loszulegen! Meine Ideen und Ansprüche sind wieder übervoll. Gerne würde ich diesmal auch mehr Energie in die Gestaltung stecken, als mir dies beim letzten Mal möglich war (ich bin immer noch beeindruckt von Buchkunstwerken, die ich auf der Leipziger Buchmesse in den Händen hielt …).
Jochen schlug vor, den Schreibprozess eventuell über konkrete Leitfragen zu strukturieren. Ich könnte mir auch eine Art Blogparade vorstellen (eine Idee, die ich schon das letzte Mal eingebracht hatte). Jochen verwies außerdem darauf, dass sich das Thema ideal eigne, um mehrere Communities zusammenzubringen – z. B. die gfwm und die loscon, die sich ja ebenfalls intensiv mit Wissensmanagement auseinandersetzen.Herwig Kummer brachte die berechtige Frage ein, wieso sich eine Community, die ja gerade vom Austausch und dem Wissen-Teilen lebt, ein Buch über persönliches und damit zunächst individuelles Wissensmanagement schreiben sollte. Jochen antwortete, dass gerade in Communities wie der unseren das individuelle, selbstorganisierte Lernen und Wissensmanagement eng verbunden sei mit dem Community-Lernen und -Wissensmanagement. Ich teile diese Idee … und denke zurück an meine zeitweilige tiefere Beschäftigung mit PKM-Ansätzen wie Zettelkasten etc., bei der mich gerade der Aspekt reizte, wie wir unser eigenes Wissensmanagement nicht nur nach außen transparent einsehbar machen, sondern wirklich öffnen und zu einem gemeinsamen Wissensmanagement machen können. Simon Dückert erwähnte die Verbindungen zum Personal Learning Environment (PLE) und Personal Learning Networks (PLN). Mir fällt die LERNLUST-Folge #40 ein, die ich mit Christian Huber und Claudia Schütze zu dem Thema aufgenommen hatte. Und mit Johanna Brühl sprach ich über ihre Themen „Lernende Stadt“ und Communities of Practice, und welche Beziehungen beides zum Persönlichen Wissensmanagement habe. Ich bin mir sicher, dass Rahmenthema unseres nächsten Buches ist wieder so konkret und offen zugleich, dass es einen produktiven Rahmen für unsere Autor:innen in 2026 schafft. So viele Ideen, wann legen wir los? Erste Session für das #CLCamp27 steht bereits … 😉
Lern-Ressourcen: Was verstehen wir darunter und wie erschließen wir sie? (Gabriele Schobeß, Johannes Starke)
Unsere eigene Session, radikal hybrid, wie Harald Schirmer bereits beim Pitch feststellte: Gabriele im Online-Raum, ich vor Ort. Eigentlich begann unsere Session schon im Vorfeld in unserem kooperativen Schreibprozess, der in unserem gemeinsamen Artikel mündete.
In der Session tauschten wir uns aus: Was sind Lern-Ressourcen? Welche gibt es? Wie können sie auf- und ausgebaut werden? Wie mache ich mir meine Lern-Ressourcen bewusst?
Online dokumentierte und reflektierte Markus Metz sehr aufmerksam und präzise in kurzen Mastodon-Beiträgen mit. Im Raum entwickelten die Teilgebenden konstruktiv aufeinander aufbauende Sichtweisen auf das Thema und brachten viele Beiträge ein, die ich leider nicht mehr alle aus dem Gedächtnis rekonstruieren kann, die aber die enorme Vielfältigkeit und das Potenzial des Themas greifbar machten.
Wir sprachen über Infrastrukturen, die aufgebaut werden und die Lernressourcen erschließen lassen und selbst Ressource sind … die aber auch davon bedroht sind, zu veröden, wenn sie nicht mehr aktiv gepflegt werden … im Unterschied zu einer Art Perpetuum Mobile des Lernens, das sich selbst Lernressourcen nutzend und dabei neue generierend antreibt und verstetigt.
Wie pflanzen wir Samen, die weiter und weiter wachsen, auch wenn wir selbst nicht mehr aktiv das Wachstum unterstützen? Ist das möglich .. und erstrebenswert? (Erinnerung an Neles Lernzirkel-Session, in der bemerkt wurde, dass Lernzirkel nicht von alleine viral gehen …).
Wir sprachen über Knappheit und über Verschwendung von Lernressourcen. Gerade die Verschwendung kann in Zeiten eines Überangebots an manchen Lernressourcen auch bewusst oder sogar lustvoll sein. Teilgebende berichteten aber auch davon, dass äußere Rahmenbedingungen (z. B. befristete Stellen) auch dazu führen, dass Lernressourcen nicht sinnvoll eingesetzt werden können.
Wir sprachen über gegenseitige Unterstützung, die Ressourcenvermehrung durch menschliche Beziehungen und den Möglichkeiten, auf diesen Beziehungen aufzubauen. In gewisser Spannung dazu stehen mögliche Expert:innen-Zuschreibungen, die Gabriele und ich anfangs spürten, die wir aber schnell auflösen und in das gemeinsame und miteinander stattfindende Erkunden des Themas überführen konnten.
Über Rückmeldungen z. B. auf Social Media (und sei es nur ein Sternchen …) als Ressourcen hatten Gabriele und ich bisher noch gar nicht nachgedacht. Thematisiert wurden auch die Bedingungen, unter denen bestimmte Ressourcen entstehen/aufgebaut werden: Welche Ressourcen stehen hinter den Ressourcen? Aufgeworfen wurde die Frage von Relevanz … ob Ressourcen dauerhaft bestehen bleiben sollten oder ob es auch gut sein kann, wenn Ressourcen vergehen.
Sehr viele weitere Ideen brachte Stephanie Reiner ein, die in ihrer Promotion eine Ressourcentaxononie entwickelt hat. Ich zitiere aus dem Text, den sie auf unser Session-Etherpad gestellt hat:
„Ich habe in meinem Promotionsprojekt eine Ressourcentaxonomie für den digitalen Arbeitskontext entwickelt, basierend auf der Literatur der Job Demands-Resources Modell/Theorie. Eine Ressourcentaxonomie ist ein Klassifizierungssystem (eine Art Ressourcenmodell), das dazu betragen soll, die Variation der Ressourcenausstattung übersichtlich darzustellen. Eine Ressourcentaxonomie findet insbesondere Anwendung (oder ist hilfreich) zum Erkennen und Aktivieren von Ressourcen (z.B. im Psychotherapeutischen Kontext, in der sozialpädagogischen Praxis oder im Coachingbereich).
Die entwickelte Ressourcentaxonomie umfasst folgende Ressourcendimensionen:- Personenbezogene Ressourcen (z.B. psychologisches Kapitel wie Hoffnung, Resilienz, Selbstwirksamkeit und Optimismus, aber auch Humankapitalressourcen, wie Fähigkeiten und Berufserfahrung)
- Arbeitsplatzbezogenen Ressourcen (z.B. lernförderliche Arbeitsgestaltung, wie Autonomie, Anforderungsvielfalt (Job Characteristic Model), aber auch Stärkeneinsatz und Ergonomie)
- Soziale Ressourcen (z.B. Ressourcenquellen, wie Führungskraft, Kolleg/innen, Freunde; Form der soziale Unterstützung, wie instrumenteller Unterstützung, informationaler Unterstützung, emotionaler Unterstützung)
- Organisatorische Ressourcen (z.B. Lernkultur, HR-Services, IT-Services, betriebliche Sozialberatung)
- Technische Ressourcen (z. B. Verfügbarkeit von digitalen Technologien und anderen arbeitsplatzbezogenen Werkzeuge, Datenschutz, Nützlichkeit der digitalen Technologien)“
Im Nachgang zur Session hat Stephanie ihre äußerst hilfreichen Hinweise in einem LinkedIn-Beitrag mit ausführlichen Hinweisen zu wissenschaftlichen Perspektiven ergänzt. Was für ein Geschenk! Tausend Dank auch an dieser Stelle, liebe Stephanie! Ich freue mich sehr, auch zukünftig weiter mit Dir und Gabriele an dem Thema zu arbeiten und werde mich bei Dir melden!
Ganz besonders interessiert mich der von Stephanie mit zwei Quellen-Hinweisen versehen Ressourcen-Kreislauf (oben bereits angesprochen), denn im klassischen Corporate Learning denken wir oft in Einbahnstraßen: Konsumieren gegebener externer Lernressourcen in Form von Lernmaterialien, die zum internen Aufbau von Wissen führen. Dabei können wir doch weiter handeln (z. B. während und auch nach dem Besuch externer Veranstaltungen das Reflektierte und Gelernte in einem eigenen Beitrag weitergeben, ganz nach dem Vorbild von Stephanie oder nach Seek>Sense>Share von Harold Jarche.)
Im letzten Absatz ihres LinkedIn-Beitrags schreibt Stephanie: „Lernressourcen verändern sich über Lebensphasen hinweg (z.B. verfügbarer Zeit). Soweit mir bekannt ist, fehlt hierzu bislang ein systematischer Überblick in der Literatur. Daher möchte ich die im Rahmen meines Promotionsprojekts entwickelte Ressourcentaxonomie nach Abschluss um lebensphasenbezogene Perspektiven erweitern.“ Hier denke ich an viele Hinweise, die ich mir vor Jahren beim Lesen von Teresa Bückers prägendem Buch „Alle Zeit“ notiert hatte, zuvorderst an die darin mehrfach erwähnte 4-in-1-Perspektive von Frigga Haug, aber auch weniger auf gesellschaftlicher Ebene, sonder deutlich konkreter am Arbeitsalltag in Unternehmen die Löffel-Theorie und damit verbunden das oft viel zu eng auf WCAG-Kriterien und gesetzliche Anforderungen reduzierte Thema Barrierefreiheit. Damit möchte ich auch weiterarbeiten …Vor kurzem habe ich mich mit Gabriele abgestimmt. Gabriele hat bereits ein Workshopkonzept entwickelt, über das sich Teilnehmende ihrer individuellen Ressourcen bewusst(er) werden und diese sichtbar machen können. Ich habe vor, das Thema aus organisational-struktureller Perspektive weiterzudenken und in einer Art Landkarte darzustellen, die die Analyse unterstützt (vielleicht berührt das dann auch Stephanies Taxonomie und ich stimme mich dazu mit ihr ab?) Und wenn wir dann beide an einem bestimmten Punkt sind, wollen wir unsere beiden Perspektiven wieder zusammenführen und … wer weiß … vielleicht in einer Nachfolgesession oder einem nächsten kooperativen Schreibprozess miteinander sprechen lassen?
Twin-Transformation als Default für zukunftsfähige und resiliente Bildungskonzepte (Henning Klaffke)
In dieser Session gab Henning einen Einblick in das Forschungsprojekt „Nachhaltige Bildung in der IT-Aus- und Weiterbildung (NABIT)“ zum Aufbau von Nachhaltigkeitskompetenz in der Lehre. Er berichtete von den drei Forschungszielen:
- Beratungskonzept für KMA: Praxisnahe Hilfe zur Selbsthilfe der Twin Transformation
- Kompetenzprofile entwickeln: Was muss IT-Fachkraft können, um nachhaltig zu handeln?
- Modulare OER-Bausteine erstellen: Freie Bildungsmaterialien für Berufsschulen und Betriebe
Harald Schirmer legte m. E. mit seiner Frage einen Finger in die Wunde der klassischen BWL-Ausbildung: Wie lehrt die Hochschule das Thema Twin Transformation, wenn Ressourcenverschwendung so grundlegend im BWL-Lehrplan verankert ist?
Mich lies die Session ernüchtert zurück. Die beiden grün-kapitalistischen Betrachtungsfelder „Green IT“ und „Green IS“ sind mir viel zu klein und zu isoliert betrachtet:
Applied Improv – ein Multitool für Embodied Learning (Frederic Gülbeyaz)
Meine schönsten Erinnerungen an vergangene Barcamps sind die, in denen wir unsere Körper zum Lernen einsetzten – denn unsere Körper sind eine Lernressource, die wir in der Wissensarbeit vielleicht besonders stark vernachlässigen? Ich schrieb darüber an vielen anderen Stellen ausführlich, z. B. hier. Durch das Hybrid-Setup ist Embodied Learning in den letzten Jahren vernachlässigt worden – aber diesmal hatten wir ja den roten Raum ohne Technik und mit der Möglichkeit, ihn ganz mit unseren Körpern zu bespielen … ohne Kamera.
In unserer Improtheater-Session ging es um das spielerische Feiern unerwarteter Entwicklungen, Ausprobieren neuer Handlungsweisen und Sich-Auffangen-Lassen in der Gruppe … im „Improtheater, das fremd geht“ AKA „Unternehmenstheater“ oder „Applied Improv“. „Raus mit den Ideen. als Gegenprinzip zur Scham“ – dazu ludt uns Frederic in seiner Session ein, die mir in Erinnerung ein Lächeln der Zuversicht für zukünftige Dramatisierungskompetenz auf die Lippen legt.
(Foto von Frederic Gülbeyaz)CLC goes Podcast (Giovanna Lo Presti, Katrin Zinke und Nicole Reese)
Der Podcast der CLC war in den letzten Jahren nicht mehr sonderlich lebendig. Zu den Barcamps erschienen viele Episoden mit Session-Reflexionen … ansonsten passierte nicht mehr so viel, wie in früheren Zeiten. Es gäbe doch so viele Möglichkeiten, die Wissens- und Erfahrungsvielfalt der Community hier hörbar zu machen! Ein gutes Podcastgespräch hat so viele Ähnlichkeiten mit einer guten Barcamp-Session, ermöglicht es, Menschen beim Denken zuzuhören und eignet sich einfach sehr gut als Lern- und Entwicklungsinstrument in Unternehmen, wie ich in diesem Blogbeitrag ausführlich beschrieben habe.
Deshalb möchte ich gerne zukünftig dazu beitragen, die Möglichkeiten des CLC-Podcasts experimentell zu entdecken, denn die Startchancen könnten für einen ‚offiziellen‘ Community-Podcast kaum besser sein.
In der Session gaben Giovanna, Katrin und Nicole einen Überblick über ihre Ideen für die zukünftige Ausgestaltung des Podcasts (z. B. mit Event-Begleitung/Auswertung, Interviews, Beiträgen aus den Regionalgruppen, Lernimpulsen oder Buch-Reviews) und befragten die Teilgebenden nach ihren Erfahrungen mit Podcasts. Viel interessanter als die formalen Fragen waren jedoch die kontroversen Debatten in der Session, was ein CLC-Podcast sein soll und welche Funktionen er erfüllen könnte.
Genannt wurden u. a.: Agendasetting und Reichweite (für unsere Themen austehen und ‚hörbar‘ werden), Lernmedium und Experimentierraum, Stimmen- und Expertise-Bibliothek, niedrigschwellige Dokumentation.
Besonders heiß debattiert wurde das Thema „Zielgruppe“. Hier gibt es stark auseinanderlaufende Sichtweisen, was ein Community-Format sein und liefern soll. Diese Diskussion hatten wir bereits beim CLC-Buchprojekt. Manche Teilgebenden plädieren für eine konsequentere Definition unserer Zielgruppen und bewusstere Ausrichtung an deren Bedarfen. Ich bin da ganz anderer Ansicht und stimme mit Karlheinz Pape überein, der die Grundidee der CLC betont: Teilen, nicht Senden! Wir sollten uns deshalb ganz bewusst nicht um Zielgruppen kümmern, sondern das, was uns in der Community beschäftigt und was wir erarbeiten, zur Verfügung stellen. Falls es außerhalb der Community Hörer:innen (oder Leser:innen) gibt, die das interessant finden, werden sie zu uns kommen. Wenn nicht, ist das auch ok.
Diese Haltung bestimmt auch die weitere „Formatierung“: Sobald wir unsere Medien als Medien des Teilens und nicht des Sendens begreifen, betrifft die Frage der „Taktung“ nicht mehr das ‚bedienen‘ einer Zielgruppe, sondern wird zu einer Hilfestellung für uns selbst … z. B. um uns regelmäßig daran zu erinnern, selbst an unseren Themen weiter zu arbeiten. Mir ist es völlig egal, welche Taktung Hörer:innen von uns erwarten: Wenn -wie im Nachgang zu einem Barcamp- in schneller Folge ein ganzer Haufen an Kurzepisoden erscheint und dann mehrere Wochen nichts, ist das völlig in Ordnung. Ich schätze viele Podcasts als eine Art „Bibliothek der Stimmen“, aus der ich mich gerade interessierende Themen oder Perspektiven auswähle und mich hineinhören kann, ganz unabhängig davon, wann die Episode ursprünglich erschienen ist. Auch ergänzend zu unserem Buch könnte ich mir vorstellen, dass wir parallel zu fast allen Beiträgen begleitende und vertiefende, Hintergrund schaffende Gespräche mit den Autor:innen aufnehmen und diese auf einen Schlag oder innerhalb kurzer Zeit veröffentlichen … Hauptsache ist, sind stehen online und können bei Bedarf parallel zur Lektüre aufgerufen werden.
Karlheinz, ich und weitere Teilgebende haben sich auch dafür eingesetzt, ohne zu große Überformatierung zu podcasten. „Einfach machen“, diese oft missbrauchte Forderung, ist im Podcast sehr zuträglich. Ein Handy reicht im Zweifel aus, geschnitten werden muss kaum. Es braucht m. E. keinen Jingle und keinen kreativen Titel, keinen Redaktionsplan, kein Zielgruppenbewusstsein, keine Längenvorgaben, keine allzu lange Vorbereitung. Eine kurze Vorabstimmung oder auch ein spontanes Gespräch sind genau richtig. Unsere Hörer:innen können ja selbst wählen, in welche Stimmen sie sich hineinhören möchten und was sie skippen. Jedes Ähm, jede Pause transportiert wertvolle Informationen, die erhalten bleiben sollten und die ein Transkript nicht enthält. Podcasts sind ein Medium, um Sprechdenken zu fördern und in Lernartefakte zu bringen. Lasst uns unseren Podcast als echtes Lernmedium nutzen, „Unfertiges“ teilen, mit seinen Möglichkeiten spielen!
In der Session wandert die Debatte leider immer wieder zu der Frage zurück, wie Zuhörer:innen gewonnen werden könnten. Diese Frage langweilt mich. Und selbst wenn wir den Podcast ausschließlich für uns machen sollten und keine Zuhörerschaft außer uns selbst haben: Das ist völlig in Ordnung! Diese Haltung versuche ich, mir auch für meinen Blog hier zu bewahren: Schön, wenn Du das gerade liest. Danke für Deinen Rückmeldung. Aber eigentlich ist es mir egal. Ich habe sämtliche Logs ganz bewusst abgeschaltet und nicht die geringste Ahnung, ob sich irgendjemand auf diesen Blog verirrt. Ich schreibe das hier, um meine eigenen Gedanken in eine für mich passende Ordnung zu bringen und einen Anlass zu haben, die vielen Ideen, Begegnungen und Notizen aus dem #CLCamp26 für mich zu rekapitulieren. Allein das Wissen, dass es jemand lesen KÖNNTE, gibt mir die nötige Disziplin, es zu tun. Allein das Wissen, dass mir jemand zuhören KÖNNTE, gibt mir die Disziplin, ganze Sätze zu formulieren (ich habe gemerkt, wie ungleich schwerer es mir fällt, meine Notizen zu einer Session im Nachgang als Sprachnachricht einzusprechen, als einfach kurz mit Gabriele zu telefonieren und sie gemeinsam Revue passieren zu lassen. Leider haben Gabriele und ich unser Telefonat nach unserer Session nicht aufgezeichnet … das wäre für meine Rekapitulation viel hilfreicher gewesen als meine eigenen Sprachnotizen.)
Die Vorteile des Sprechdenkens im Dialog mit einer Gesprächsperson betonte auch Sabine Stock und brachte ein, dass in Podcast-Gesprächen produktive Reibung entstehen darf. (Das Thema Konflikt und Reibung als Lernressourcen hatten wir auch in unserer Lernressourcen-Session besprochen!)
Bei einem geäußerten Ideenkomplex von zwei Teilgebenden hatte ich den Bedarf, ganz klar meine eigene Position auszudrücken: Es kamen die Vorschläge, „Dialoge“ mit KI-Bots zu führen bzw. aufgenommene Episoden in NotebookLM „weiterzuverarbeiten“. Falls der Podcast irgend einen dieser Wege einschlagen sollte, und sei es nur als „Experiment„, wäre ich definitiv nicht mehr beteiligt. Besonders irritert hat mich der Einwurf einer Teilgebenden, das Einspeisen von Folgen in NotebookLM könne ich sowieso nicht verhindern. Ich nehme das als Ausdruck vulgärer Machtdemonstration, dieses Silicon-Valley-„We don’t care“, die über das „KI“-Narrativ immer mehr Verbreitung findet (und die z. B. Jürgen Geuter hier sehr gut beschrieben hat). Leider wurden auf dem #CLCamp26 auch die Artikel aus unserem Buchprojekt entsprechend ‚verwertet‘. Als ich im Vorfeld meinen Protest äußerte, hat Simon Dückert immerhin meinen eigenen Beitrag aus seiner Web-Version des Buches entfernt und dementsprechend aus dem Datensatz, der in seiner Session verwendet wurde. Deshalb ist mein Beitrag also nur noch im Buch selbst, in der eBook-Variante und separat hier auf meinem Blog zugänglich. Durch das „KI“-Narrativ wird die ganze Welt nur noch auf Trainingsdaten für LLMs eingeengt. Die Achtung von menschlicher Ausdrucksweise, kreativem Schaffen, kulturellem Kontext und Entstehungsprozessen wird geschleift … und auch unsere Community trägt leider dazu bei. Ja, ich „kann das nicht verhindern“ … aber ich kann immer wieder dafür eintreten, dass wir einander mit Achtung vor unserer Arbeit (und ihrer Integrität) begegnen, und selbst wenn das ein Kampf gegen Windmühlen sein und bleiben sollte.
Nach der Session konnte ich nicht umhin, direkt ein paar Gedanken zur Session in einer Mini-Podcast-Aufnahme zu verarbeiten, zu der mich Ernst einludt. Bin gespannt, wann sie erscheint!
(Foto von Frederic Gülbeyaz)Vom Käfig zum Kompass (Felix Harling)
„Beyond Teaching ist einfach gesagt. Aber die Sinnkrise der Wissensarbeiter:innen ist real, auch unter uns, oder? Was passiert, wenn du nicht nur deine Formate, sondern dich selbst hinterfragst? Eine Session über Irritation als Wegweiser und das, was Brüche lehren, wenn man sie lässt.“ Schon diese Sessionankündigung von Felix hat stark in mir resoniert (aus vielerlei Gründen, die vielleicht auch hier in diesem Beitrag oder auch sonst in meinem Blog immer wieder anklingen?) … und umso mehr die Art, wie ich Felix schon vor seiner Session in unseren Pausengesprächen kennenlernte. Zudem fand die Session im geliebten ‚Roten Raum‘ ohne Technik statt .. also ein Pflichttermin für mich!
In keiner anderen Session habe ich so wertvolle Gespräche über unsere Professionen, unsere beruflichen Situationen und unsere Positionierungen gegenüber Branchenentwicklungen führen können. Auch methodisch war das schnell getaktete Vorgehen inspirierend und für mich ein kleiner Ausblick auf das, was ich im baldigen Art of Hosting Training erwarte.
Aber nicht nur für meine persönliche Entwicklung, auch für meinen professionellen Wertbeitrag bei meinem Arbeitgeber war diese Session inspirierend … und lässt mich an manches Denken, was ich in meiner Selbstberatung im Rahmen meiner Ausbildung zum Systemischen Organisationsberater über meine Arbeit herausgearbeitet habe.
Grob zusammengefasst (und damit all das ignorierend, was in den Brüchen und Zwischenräumen auch auf dieser Session wirklich stattgefunden hat), lässt sich Felix methodisches Vorgehen folgendermaßen zusammenfassen – und ich stütze mich hier auf das abfotografierte Flipchart:
- Aufstellung im Raum mit zwei Polen: „Ich weiß, wo ich beruflich hinwill“ <> „Ich habe mehr Fragen als Antworten“
- Stimmen im Raum zur eigenen Positionierung hörbar machen
- Irritations-Landkarte: „Was irritiert Dich gerade am meisten an Deiner Arbeit / L&D-Rolle?“ (in Zweiergruppen)
- Still schreiben > A erläutert, B hört zu > B stellt offene Rückfrage > A antwortet kurz > Rollenwechsel > abschließende Reflexion
- Der Bruch, der lehrt: „Welchen Bruch in Deiner Tätigkeit hast Du in der Vergangenheit erfahren?“ (in Dreiergruppen)
- A berichtet > B+C stellen das Gehörte pantomimisch dar (ohne Worte) > A reagiert ebenfalls pantomimisch > Rollenwechsel > abschließende Reflexion
- Harvesting: Wie war die Erfahrung für Dich? Was hast Du über das, was Dich irritiert, gelernt? Wie lässt sich das anwenden?
- Abschließender Austausch: Wie lässt sich das Erfahrene für die CLC anwenden?
Informelle Lern-Räume im Rahmen von IT-Einführungen (Johannes Starke)
Das Thema meiner zweiten Session, die ich selbst angeboten habe, beschäftigt mich beruflich gerade besonders intensiv. Gerade im Rahmen von IT-Einführungen passiert in Unternehmen und durch deren Mitarbeitende, die sich mit neuen IT-Prozessen konfrontiert werden, sehr viel geplantes und ungeplantes (… oder passiert eben gerade sehr wenig, je nachdem aus welcher Perspektive man es betrachtet). Ich war zunächst untröstlich, dass parallel zu meiner Session Trainerinnen des ADAC ebenfalls eine Session zum IT-Trainingsvorgehen anboten, auf der ich gerne aufgebaut hätte – und umso erfreuter, dass sich eine dieser Trainerinnen dann in meiner Session befand und dort sehr aktiv teilgab. 🙂
(Foto CC-BY von Martina Cervenkova)Die Idee und den Hintergrund zu meiner Session habe ich in diesem Blogbeitrag zusammengefasst, auf den ich bereits im Vorfeld erfreuliches Feedback erhielt. Ich hatte das Gefühl, dass ich mit dem Session-Thema ein äußerst wichtiges (und für viele schmerzvolles) Feld angesprochen habe.
Leider habe ich es als Sessionhost ohne zweite Person nicht geschafft, parallel Notizen zu machen, habe auch im Nachgang wenig Dokumentation zu meiner Session gefunden und mir zum Ende des Tages keine Zeit mehr genommen, meine Erinnerungen als Sprachnotiz aufzunehmen. Schade, da ist einiges verloren gegangen.
In Erinnerung ist mir, dass wir ausführlich über Workarounds und Umgehungstaktiken gesprochen haben, die Mitarbeitende an den Tag legen, um neu-eingeführte Systeme nicht zu nutzen .. und primär über formale Mittel, dem Einhalt zu gebieten.
Ein großes Thema war auch M365 und insbesondere die Einführung und Nutzung von Teams. Hier sprachen viele Teilgebenden ihre Erfahrungen an.
Ein Teilgeber berichtete von erfolgreichen Floorwalker-Initiativen, die regelmäßig anstupsen/erinnern und auf Angebote aufmerksam machen, ohne diese und die Beteiligung daran zu stark zu formalisieren.
Einigen konnten wir uns darauf, wie wichtig es ist, Balancen zwischen Formalität und Informalität herzustellen und auszuhalten … und dass diese Balancen in unterschiedlichen Bereichen immer wieder neu gefunden und hergestellt werden müssen. Es gibt keine Best Practice … und umso mehr motiviert mich diese Erkenntnis, auch zukünftig weiter intensiv an dem Thema zu arbeiten!
Physische Lernreisen für Kleingruppen (Julia Methe)
Diese ganz spontan zum Abschluss des Camps initiierte Session von Julia war für mich eins von vielen Highlights des Camps. Die spontanen Sessions sind oft die besten, weil sie nicht mit langen Präsentationen beeindrucken wollen, sondern eine Idee einbringen, die dann befragt, besprochen und weiterentwickelt wird.
Julia berichtete von einem Ansatz, den sie und ihre Kolleg:innen im Rahmen der Neueinführung eines IT-Tools in einem bundeseigenen Betrieb initiiert hatten … und den sie für uns auf ein irgendwo in der Hochschule aufgetriebenes altes Metaplanpapier scribbelte.
Der Ansatz bot einen Rahmen, um die neuen IT-Prozesse körperlich zu erfahren, erklärt zu bekommen und zu besprechen. Das lief ähnlich ab wie auf einer Schnitzeljagd: Kleingruppen von 4-5 Leuten wurden mit ausgedruckten Prozessbeschreibungen über den Betriebs-Campus geschickt. Die Prozessbeschreibung war gleichzeitig eine Wegbeschreibung. An bestimmten Stationen wurden die Gruppen von Mitarbeitenden empfangen, erhielten Instruktionen und Hilfestellung in der Beantwortung von Fragen auf dem Zettel. Die Gruppendynamik wurde u. a. durch wechselnde Verantwortung im Wegfinden und Fragenbeantworten aktiviert.
Im Folgejahr wurde der Ansatz weiter genutzt. Statt eines IT-Prozesses wurden Unternehmensstrategie und -aufbau vermittelt. Außerdem wurde HR mit dem Ziel involviert, den Ansatz auch für das Onboarding zu übernehmen.
Der Ansatz war eine Idee, die im Rahmen der „Campus Week“ eingebracht wurde. Jeder Bereich beteiligt sich dabei mit eigenen Beiträgen.
Julias Vorstellung stieß auf großes Interesse. Mehrere Teilgebende offenbarten, dass sie selbst davon träumen, so etwas in ihrem eigenen Unternehmen umzusetzen. Ich bin einer davon 😉 Eine Mischung aus Schnitzeljagd, Gallery Walk, Prozess-Simulation und verkörperter Intervention … mit Vernetzung und gegenseitiger Unterstützung, die im klasisschen Training ja oft in den Hintergrund treten. Grundsätzlich ließe sich das Vorgehen auch mit Action Bound oder Self-Service-Terminals umsetzten, würde dann aber einen anderen Charakter annehmen.
#51 #CLC25 #CLCamp26 #CLCamp26Nutzt #CLCamp27 #colearn #LearningCircle #lernOS #Lernzirkel #Lernzirkeln #Peerfinder -
Who Are These Clowns and Where Did They Put My Flesh Stapler? The AMG Staff Pick Their Top Ten(ish) of 2025 By Steel Druhm
Listurnalia is now upon us once again! If you are not ready to be assailed by non-stop lists and bad opinions for the next week and change, I suggest you get fooking ready! Listurnalia cannot be stopped, nor contained. It can only be tolerated and endured!
More than any year in recent history, 2025 saw more seasoned staffers step away from writing duties due to time constraints and life changes. To compensate for the loss of these slackwagoning quitters and shirkers, we added a gaggle of fresh new voices. This made for a bittersweet time around these parts as long-time friends departed and a bunch of untested, unknowns rose through the brutal n00b gauntlet to seize the means of promo production. These greenhorn neophytes have created great havoc at AMG HQ with their terrible taste, inability to follow directions, and steadfast refusal to ignore deathcore.
We’ve been here before, though, and we always straighten out the newbie upstarts. The daily beatings, deprivations, and absence of positive reinforcement will wear them down, and if not, we have plenty of space in the rotpit out back. This is, and will ever be, the AMG modality.
2026 will be an interesting year as the new crew members are shepherded by the olde while everyone is crushed beneath the iron heel of AMG management. Who will make it to 2027? Who will be sold off to Metal Wani for a box of bananas and Gorilla Glue? Place your bets in the official AMG Survival Pool!
As you read the Top Ten(ish) lists below, remember, reading our content is free, but you get what you pay for.
Grymm
#10. Venomous Echoes // Dysmor
#9. Blut Aus Nord // Ethereal Horizons
#8. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#7. Structure // Heritage
#6. Lorna Shore // I Feel The Everblack Festering Within Me
#5. Sigh // I Saw The World’s End – Hangman’s Hymn MMXXV
#4. Imperial Triumphant // Goldstar
#3. Am I In Trouble? // Spectrum
#2. Dax Riggs // 7 Songs for Spiders
#1. Paradise Lost // Ascension – I fully expected Paradise Lost to come out with quality music, which has been mostly par for the course in their storied almost-40-year career, and no one could blame them if they decided to coast along on their legendary sound. Instead, Ascension sees them giving a masterclass in songcraft and atmosphere, showing everyone, everywhere, how it’s done. With Black Sabbath now officially put to rest, Anathema long gone, and whatever the fuck is happening within My Dying Bride these days, somebody has to fly the British Doom flag high and proud, and Paradise Lost have done a bang-up job of doing so.Personal Highlight o’ the Year: Seeing Acid Bath live. I may or may not have cried during “Venus Blue,” and no, I don’t fucking care. 19-Year-Old me was pleased as punch that 48-Year-Old me got to see a legendary band (and one of his personal favorites) come back from tragedy to pay tribute to their fallen bassist and friend, Audie Pitre, by giving it another long-awaited go.
Disappointment(s) o’ the Year:
- Losing so many influential heroes (RIP Ozzy Osbourne, Ace Frehley, and Tomas Lindberg, among too many others)
- My health: I was hoping to be a lot more active this year, but early on, I needed to, in the immortal words of David Lynch, “fix (my) heart or die.”1 Thankfully, after surgery, I feel a million times better, so you should see a lot more of me in 2026. You have been warned.
Song o’ the Year:
- Paradise Lost // “Salvation”
El Cuervo
#ish. Astronoid // Stargod
#10. Ollie Wride // The Pressure Point
#9. Kauan // Wayhome
#8. Zéro Absolu // La Saignée
#7. Mutagenic Host // The Diseased Machine
#6. Asira // As Ink in Water
#5. Bruit // The Age of Ephemerality
#4. Saor // Amidst the Ruins
#3. The Midnight // Syndicate
#2. Steven Wilson // The Overview
#1. Messa // The Spin – In a year replete with comfort picks—progressive rock, synthwave, and death metal abound—how is that Italy’s enigmatic, inscrutable Messa forged my Album o’ the Year? The Spin doesn’t take the trouble to make itself easily approachable. Doom, prog, and post influences circle around velvety melodies that sometimes sound like deliberate songs, and sometimes like jazz improvisation. But it’s these very qualities that belie its subtle allure; only with repetition and attention does The Spin shine. Messa gradually reveals rhythmic motifs, instrumental nuances, and rich compositions that enhance my life on so many days. “The Dress,” especially, is stunning. And though the record’s loungey whimsy defies metal conventions, each track prizes genuine grit through its top-drawer guitar riffs. With the devotion it demands, no record from 2025 was more rewarding than The Spin.Honorable Mentions:
- Décryptal – Simulacre
- An Abstract Illusion – The Sleeping City
- Puteraeon – Mountains of Madness
- Hasard – Abgnose
Song o’ the Year:
- Ambush – “Maskirovka”
GardensTale
#ish. Structure // Heritage
#10. In Mourning //The Immortal
#9. Flummox // Southern Progress
#8. Der Weg Einer Freiheit // Innern
#7. Nephylim // Circuition
#6. Besna // Krásno
#5. Messa // The Spin
#4. Labyrinthus Stellarum // Rift in Reality
#3. Gazpacho // Magic 8 Ball
#2. Dormant Ordeal// Tooth & Nail
#1. Moron Police // Pachinko — I was a little nervous when I first read about the length and ambition behind Pachinko, especially in the context of the incredible and very concise A Boat on the Sea. I’ve never been this happy to be this wrong. Nothing in the last decade has overtaken my life as much as Pachinko has, and I’m listening to it yet again as I write this, and will probably restart it once it finishes. Pachinko has a lot in common with Everything Everywhere All At Once, one of my all-time favorite films, as a treatise on the chaos of life and the importance of friends and family. It treats its philosophy of silliness very seriously, laughing in the face of darkness in such a beautiful and inspiring way; it brightens my life every time I hear it. And it does all that in tribute to a dear friend who was gone too soon and too suddenly, and no other eulogistic album has let me feel like its subject’s soul touched mine. An astounding monument to friendship on top of an incredibly accomplished hour of music. Pachinko is a miracle.Honorable Mentions:
- Hangover in Minsk // Party is Over
- 1914 // Viribus Unitis
- Bianca // Bianca
- Fange // Purulences
- An Abstract Illusion // The Sleeping City
- Blindfolded // What Seeps Through Threads
Song o’ the Year:
- Moron Police – “Giving up the Ghost”
Non-metal Albums of the Year:
- Lorde // Virgin
- Jonathan Hultén // Eyes of the Living Night
- Shayfer James // Summoning
Mark Z.
#ish. Malefic Throne // The Conquering Darkness
#10. Urn // Demon Steel
#9. Teitanblood // From the Visceral Abyss
#8. Shed the Skin // The Carnage Cast Shadows
#7. Guts // Nightmare Fuel
#6. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#5. Perdition Temple // Malign Apotheosis
#4. Paradise Lost // Ascension
#3. Revocation // New Gods, New Masters
#2. Death Yell // Demons of Lust
#1. Abominator // The Fire Brethren – It took me a few years after hearing this Australian duo’s last album, 2015’s Evil Proclaimed, to realize I was wrong about them. Their raw and relentless black-death metal wasn’t just good, it was fucking awesome. With their long-awaited sixth album, The Fire Brethren, Abominator has conjured flames that reach higher than ever. As always, the enraged rasps, scorching riffs, and endlessly pummeling rhythms are like plumes of hellfire shot directly into your ear canals. But amidst the bludgeoning is some genuinely great songwriting, with deep-cutting hooks (“The Templar’s Curse,” “Underworld Vociferations”), flashes of melody (“Progenitors of the Insurrection of Satan”), thrashy breaks (“Sulphur from the Heavens”), and just enough variety to keep everything hitting as hard as possible. It’s not for everyone, but for those into Angelcorpse and other music of that sort, The Fire Brethren is the type of album you just can’t get enough of.Honorable Mention:
- Blasphamagoatachrist // Bestial Abominator
Song (Title) o’ the Year:
- Omegavortex – “Dystopian Worldrape”
Song o’ the Year:
- Fugitive – “Spheres of Virulence”
Carcharodon
#ish. Dax Riggs // 7 Songs for Spiders
#10. Novarupta // Astral Sands
#9. Atlantic // Timeworn
#8. Structure // Heritage
#7. Agriculture // The Spiritual Sound
#6. Igorr // Amen
#5. Messa // The Spin
#4. Abigail Williams // A Void Within Existence
#3. Cave Sermon // Fragile Wings
#2. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#1. Grima // Nightside – In each of 2019, 2021, and 2022, Grima released an album and, in each of those years, I listed said album (#5, HM, and #10). But this year, the year in which I have listened to the least metal and, of course, written the least since I started here in 2018, is also the year that Grima got everything dialled in to just what I want from a Grima album. On Nightside, the duo struck the perfect balance between the traditional influences of 2019’s Will of the Primordial and the propulsive, frozen atmosphere of Frostbitten (2022). The combination gives Nightside an almost hypnotic and weirdly tranquil flow, offset by Vilhelm’s rasping vocals, which remain among the best in the BM game. Every time I come back to this record, and the title track in particular, it’s even better than I remember it being, and I always end up spinning three or more times back-to-back. An album that can keep playing that trick deserves its #1 spot in my book.Honorable Mentions:
- An Abstract Illusion // The Sleeping City
- Gorycz // Zasypia
- Psychonaut // World Maker
- Wardruna // Birna
Songs o’ the Year:
- Messa – “Fire on the Roof”
- Novarupta – “Now Here We Are (At the Inevitable End)”
Mysticus Hugebeard
#10. Orbit Culture // Death Above Life
#9. An Abstract Illusion // The Sleeping City
#8. Qrixkuor // The Womb of the World
#7. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#6. Panopticon // Laurentian Blue
#5. Blackbraid // Blackbraid III
#4. Arkhaaik // Uihtis
#3. Kauan // Wayhome
#2. Wardruna // Birna
#1. Thumos // The Trial of Socrates – I recall groggily stumbling upon Thumos’ The Trial of Socrates at work one early morning, and I’m not sure if I’ve grown attached to it or it’s grown attached to me. It looms in my periphery, routinely interrupting my listening schedule for just one more spin. This gargantuan dive into ancient Greek philosophy and justice is melodically rich, laden with atmosphere, and fiercely intelligent. I love how this album stimulates my curiosity. I pore over The Trial of Socrates like a madman, piecing the puzzle together with feverish glee but never quite feeling finished, because every re-listen yields new shapes, new colors, new ideas. It eggs me on to research various topics on ancient Greek history or philosophy, and even made for an unlikely study partner during my long preparations for the German A1 exam. I always feel smarter by the end of it—hubris, I’m sure, but The Trial of Socrates genuinely sparks my imagination in ways few albums do. Time to go listen to “The Phædo” for the zillionth time.Honorable Mentions:
- Night Flight Orchestra // Give Us The Moon
- Mutagenic Host // The Diseased Machine
Songs o’ the Year:
- Disarmonia Mundi – “Outcast”
The Dormant Stranger by Disarmonia Mundi
- Jamie Page & Marcy Nabors – “Do No Harm (Ventricular Mix)”
Do No Harm by Jamie Paige, Marcy Nabors, & Penny Parker
- Thumos – “The Phædo”
The Trial of Socrates by Thumos
Disappointment(s) o’ the year:
- The dissolution of Ante-Inferno: After Death’s Soliloquy topped my list last year, I was genuinely gutted to see Ante-Inferno’s post that they were no more. Still, I shall not weep but rather smile that they happened, because Ante-Inferno was a rare breed of genuinely moving black metal. Just that one album rooted itself so deeply within me, and I will be listening for a long time.
- Arno Menses leaving Subsignal: Man, fuck. Fuck. Remember my nuclear-grade glaze of Subsignal, where I might as well have said Menses’ voice single-handedly justified the entire existence of music? How could I not break down in heaving sobs in the middle of this Denny’s when I heard that Menses and Subsignal have parted ways? It sucks, I tell ya. I will still listen to what Subsignal puts out in the future, because Markus Steffen is a talented musician, but it’s going to be a huge adjustment since Menses is nigh irreplaceable.
Samguineous Maximus
#ish. Imperial Triumphant // Goldstar
#10. Primitive Man // Observance
#9. Motherless // Do You Feel Safe?
#8. Deafheaven // Lonely People with Power
#7. Weeping Sores // The Convalescence Agonies
#6. Between the Buried and Me // The Blue Nowhere
#5. Calva Louise // Edge of the Abyss
#4. 1914 // Viribus Unitis
#3. Crippling Alcoholism // Camgirl
#2. Crippling Alcoholism // Bible Songs II
#1. Yellow Eyes // Confusion Gate – Yellow Eyes are one of the best black metal bands in the game, and Confusion Gate is their most impressive work to date. It sees the band return to a more traditional atmospheric sound, but with the lessons learned from their explorations of dissonance and ambience. The result is a kaleidoscopic blend of gorgeous melodies, haunting riffs, and a pervasive sense of pathos that only the best art can achieve. Confusion Gate feels like communing with nature from the top of a wintry peak, embodying both impossible grandeur and awesome terror. This is a record that bypasses the analytical reviewer’s brain and just hits me right in the feeling. It offers a unique catharsis in a year where I truly needed it.Honorable Mentions
- Flummox // Southern Progress
- Hexrot // Formless Ruin of Oblivion
- Ava Mendoza/Gabby fluke-Mogal/Carolina Pérez // Mama Killa
- Strigiform // Aconite
Song o’ the Year:
- Crippling Alcoholism – “Ladies Night”
Spicie Forrest
#ish. Cryptopsy // An Insatiable Violence
#10. Crimson Shadows // Whispers of War
#9. Oromet // The Sinking Isle
#8. -ii- // Apostles of the Flesh
#7. Suncraft // Welcome to the Coven
#6. Suncraft // Profanation of the Adamic Covenant
#5. Chestcrush // ΨΥΧΟΒΓΑΛΤΗΣ
#4. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#3. Qrixkuor // The Womb of the World
#2. Primitive Man // Observance
#1. Wytch Hazel // V: Lamentations – I know, I’m surprised too. But the bottom line is that I’ve been listening to V: Lamentations front to back at least once a week since it released on the most American of holidays, July 4th. For Steel, Wytch Hazel’s latest didn’t have the same staying power as previous efforts, but Lamentations is the first to truly resonate with me. Though musically consistent with their Wishbone Ash-meets-Eagles style, vocalist Colin Hendra brings a new sense of passion to the record, and the interplay between instruments, vocals, and lyrics hits me like a lightning bolt. Very possibly inspired by the core Christian tenet laid out in Romans 6:23-24,2 Lamentations is a masterful portrayal of what it means to perpetually fail, to know you’ll never be good enough, and in the face of a salvation that renders all efforts, deeds, and accomplishments worthless, to keep striving toward the impossible anyway. Even for godless sinners like me, Lamentations is a beautiful reminder that purpose is found in hardship, that the journey is the goal, and that falling down is merely an opportunity to stand up again.Honorable Mentions:
- Proscription // Desolate Divine
- Apocalypse Orchestra // A Plague upon Thee
- Messa // The Spin
- Bloodywood // Nu Delhi
- Pedestal for Leviathan // Enter: Vampyric Manifestation
Song o’ the Year:
- Yellowcard – “honestly i”
Grin Reaper
(ish) Sallow Moth // Mossbane Lantern
#10. Turian // Blood Quantum Blues
#9. Calva Louise // Edge of the Abyss
#8. Lychgate // Precipice
#7. An Abstract Illusion // The Sleeping City
#6. Thron // Vurias
#5. Structure // Heritage
#4. Species // Changelings
#3. Havukruunu // Tavastland
#2. Aephanemer // Utopie
#1. 1914 // Viribus Unitis – I didn’t know Viribus Unitis would be my top album of the year the first time I listened to it, but I knew it would list. 1914’s naked emotion and rousing story of a Ukrainian soldier’s survival through World War I, reconciliation with his family, and inescapable return to war remains as gripping and bittersweet now as it did the first time I heard it. Across adrenaline-fueled riffing, oppressive marches, and somber dirges, 1914 never relents on musical or lyrical weight. Though Viribus Unitis was released late in the year, it quickly became the standard I used to appraise albums while going through listing season. 1914 paints war-torn life with savage grace, supplying devastating melody and grueling crawls that elevate the album to such heights that I’m genuinely moved each time I get to the end. Viribus Unitis is bleak, raw, and human, but for all that, I’m never deterred from listening. Ultimately, 1914 clutches the threads of hope and weaves an aural tapestry that brings tragedy and triumph to life, cementing Viribus Unitis as my undisputed top album of 2025.
Honorable Mentions:- Walg // V
- Moron Police // Pachinko
- Defigurement // Endbryo
- Ültra Raptör // Fossilized
- Igorrr // Amen
Songs o’ the Year:
- Aephanemer – “Le Cimetière Marin”
- 1914 – “1918 Pt. III: ADE (A Duty to Escape)”
Andy-War-Hall
#ish: Dragon Skull // Chaos Fire Vengeance
#10: Changeling // Changeling
#9: Steel Arctus // Dreamruler
#8: Abigail Williams //A Void Within Existence
#7: Petrified Giant // Endless Ark
#6: Imperial Triumphant // Goldstar
#5: Structure // Heritage
#4: Lipoma // No Cure for the Sick
#3: Crippling Alcoholism // Camgirl
#2: Hexrot // Formless Ruin of Oblivion
#1: 1914 // Viribus Unitis – Immersion defines great music and art for me. It is almost unfortunate how good 1914 are in this facet of their music. Their ability to transport the listener to the battlefield in all its violence, both carnal and psychological, is stupefying. The utter dehumanizing hatred with “1914 (The Siege of Przemyśl),” the ravenous bloodlust of “1917 (The Isonzo Front),” the hellish wails haunting “1918 Pt. 1 (WIA – Wounded in Action):” all portrayed vividly through 1914’s brilliantly caustic and composed musicianship and deeply personal lyricism. When Dmytro Ternushchak bellows “For three days / The Russians attacked / And accomplished nothing but / 40,000 dead pigs” [“1914 (The Siege of Przemyśl)”], it’s all you need to get into his character’s violent headspace. When 1914 mournfully sing in Ukrainian “Це моя земля”3 [1915 (Easter Battle for the Zwinin Ridge)], you grasp how someone could put their life on the line for kin and country. When our soldier sings “My little girl reached out to me / But duty calls” [1919 (The Home Where I Died)]… well, shit, your heart just has to break, right? 1914 don’t play “history metal.” Viribus Unitis is as present and relevant as you can get.Honorable Mentions:
- Fell Omen // Caelid Dog Summer
- Ophelion // The Jaunt
- Coroner // Dissonance Theory
- Starscourge // Conqueror of the Stars – Betwixt Sundered Seraphim, the Lands Between Bleed
Song o’ the Year:
- Fell Omen – “The Fire is Still Warm”
Lavender Larcenist
#ish Spiritbox // Tsunami Sea
#10. Sold Soul // Just Like That, I Disappear Entirely
#9. Calva Louise // Edge of the Abyss
#8. Dying Wish // Flesh Stays Together
#7. Grima // Nightside
#6. Aversed // Erasure of Color
#5. Deafheaven // Lonely People With Power
#4. Ghost Bath // Rose Thorn Necklace
#3. Changeling // Changeling
#2. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#1. Crippling Alcoholism // Camgirl – Sometimes you listen to music, and you feel like it gets you. Camgirl was exactly that type of album, and it probably doesn’t say anything good about me. Ever since Crippling Alcoholism’s latest graced my ears and I shared it with my partner, we have been singing “I fucking hate the way I look, yeah I look like a fat fucking scumbag” way too often and mumbling “Mr. Ran away, ran away from family” every chance we get. The album is dripping with the atmosphere of neon-lit back rooms, seedy interactions, and terrible decision-making. It feels like a lens into the lives of those society has left behind, and I can’t help but feel a connection. The self-destructive nihilism, drugged-out sex, and abrupt violence that is all too common in those on the margins of life is something I think more and more we can all relate to, and Camgirl is the art that mirrors society back to us. As a result, it is an album that is just as ugly as it is terrifying and beautiful.
Honorable Mentions:- Shadow of Intent // Imperium Delirium
- Pupil Slicer // Fleshwork
- 1914 // Viribus Unitis
Song o’ the Year:
- Crippling Alcoholism – “bedrot”
Creeping Ivy
#ish. Nite // Cult of the Serpent Sun
#10. Blackbraid // Blackbraid III
#9. Flummox // Southern Progress
#8. 1914 // Viribus Unitis
#7. Cave Sermon // Fragile Wings
#6. Saor // Amidst the Ruins
#5. Imperial Triumphant // Goldstar
#4. Phantom Spell // Heather & Hearth
#3. Coroner // Dissonance Theory
#2. Messa // The Spin
#1. Havukruunu // Tavastland – On their Bandcamp page, Havukruunu explain the concept of their fourth LP: ‘Tavastland tells how in 1237 the Tavastians rose in rebellion against the church of Christ and drove the popes naked into the frost to die.’ Sounds like the metal album of 2025 to me! But I didn’t crown Tavastland for its lyrics that I can’t understand. As Dr. A.N. Grier has been exhorting for a decade, Havukruunu stands as a model of Viking black metal consistency, having dropped only very good-to-great albums since 2015. Tavastland isn’t a radical improvement over 2020’s Uinuous syömein sota, but it’s an (arguably excellent) improvement nonetheless, making it Havukruunu’s finest work yet. Yes, these fiery Finns forge sounds reminiscent of Bathory and Immortal, but Tavastland seized my attention for its adventurous prog sensibilities. Some of this can be attributed to the return of Hümo, whose bass rattles like the four strings of Geddy Lee. But the prog is deep in the album craft, from the overture-style modulations of opener “Kuolematon laulunhenki” to the extended guitar wankery of closer “De miseriis fennorum.” Now if only I can learn Finnish, I’ll be able to appreciate the killer anti-popery narrative while headbanging to my Record o’ 2025.Honorable Mentions:
- Am I in Trouble? // Spectrum
- Blut Aus Nord // Ethereal Horizons
- In Mourning // The Immortal
- Oromet // The Sinking Isle
- Wyatt E. // Zamāru Ultu Qereb Ziqquratu Part 1
Song o’ the Year:
- Phantom Spell – “The Autumn Citadel”
Baguette of Bodom
#ish. In the Woods… // Otra
#10. Species // Changelings
#9. Dragon Skull // Chaos Fire Vengeance
#8. A-Z // A2Z²
#7. Apocalypse Orchestra // A Plague upon Thee
#6. Amorphis // Borderland
#5. Dolmen Gate // Echoes of Ancient Tales
#4. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#3. Amalekim // Shir Hashirim
#2. Suotana // Ounas II
#1. Buried Realm // The Dormant Darkness – Melodic tech death? Symphonic power metal? Who knows! Much like my 2025 in general, The Dormant Darkness has a bit of everything in one gigantic clusterfuck. The great news is, neither I nor the album crumbled under all that weight. In a year full of odd twists and turns, my list became more varied and unusual than ever. Buried Realm took this variety and gave me everything I like about metal in one dense package: blazing speeds, soaring guitars, majestic vocals, and relentless fury. It’s also inexplicably well-produced for how many layers there are to deal with. While 2025 was not a particularly star-studded release year—especially compared to most of the 2020s so far—it threw plenty of fun curveballs at me, and The Dormant Darkness exemplifies this with its Xothian fusion of metal subgenres in one big Ophidian I blender ov shred. I would also like to request several Christian Älvestam features on every album, please.Honorable Mentions:
- Victim of Fire // The Old Lie
- Dawn of Solace // Affliction Vortex
- Dynazty // Game of Faces
- Coroner // Dissonance Theory
- Hooded Menace // Lachrymose Monuments of Obscuration
Song o’ the Year:
- Dragon Skull – “Blood and Souls”
Chaos Fire Vengeance by Dragon Skull
#1914 #2025 #AZ #AbigailWilliams #Abominator #Aephanemer #Agriculture #AmIInTrouble #Amalekim #Ambush #Amorphis #AnAbstractIllusion #ApocalypseOrchestra #Arkhaaik #Asira #Astronoid #Atlantic #AvaMendozaGabbyFlukeMogalCarolinaPérez #Aversed #Besna #BetweenTheBuriedAndMe #Bianca #Blackbraid #Blasphamagoatachrist #Blindfolded #BlogLists #Bloodywood #BlutAusNord #Bruit #BuriedRealm #CalvaLouise #CaveSermon #Changeling #Chestcrush #Coroner #CrimsonShadows #CripplingAlcoholism #DawnOfSolace #DaxRiggs #Deafheaven #DeathYell #Décryptal #Defigurement #DerWegEinerFreiheit #DolmenGate #DormantOrdeal #DragonSkull #DyingWish #Dynazty #Fange #FellOmen #Flummox #Gazpacho #GhostBath #Gorycz #Grima #Guts #HangoverInMinsk #Hasard #Havukruunu #Hexrot #HoodedMenace #Igorr #Igorrr #II #ImperialTriumphant #JonathanHultén #Kauan #LabyrinthusStellarum #Lipoma #Lists #Lorde #LornaShore #Lychgate #MaleficThrone #Messa #MoronPolice #Motherless #MutagenicHost #Nephylim #NightFlightOrchestra #Nite #Novarupta #OllieWride #Ophelion #OrbitCulture #Oromet #Panopticon #ParadiseLost #PedestalForLeviathan #PerditionTemple #PetrifiedGiant #PhantomSpell #PrimitiveMan #Proscription #Psychonaut #PupilSlicer #Puteraeon #Qrixkuor #Revocation #SallowMoth #Saor #ShadowOfIntent #ShayferJames #ShedTheSkin #Sigh #SoldSoul #Species #Spiritbox #Starscourge #SteelArctus #StevenWilson #Strigiform #Structure #Suncraft #Suotana #Teitanblood #TheAMGStaffPickTheirTopTenIshOf2025 #TheMidnight #Thron #Thumos #Turian #ÜltraRaptör #Urn #VenomousEchoes #VictimOfFire #Walg #Wardruna #WeepingSores #WyattE #WytchHazel #YellowEyes #Yellowcard #ZéroAbsolu -
Who Are These Clowns and Where Did They Put My Flesh Stapler? The AMG Staff Pick Their Top Ten(ish) of 2025 By Steel Druhm
Listurnalia is now upon us once again! If you are not ready to be assailed by non-stop lists and bad opinions for the next week and change, I suggest you get fooking ready! Listurnalia cannot be stopped, nor contained. It can only be tolerated and endured!
More than any year in recent history, 2025 saw more seasoned staffers step away from writing duties due to time constraints and life changes. To compensate for the loss of these slackwagoning quitters and shirkers, we added a gaggle of fresh new voices. This made for a bittersweet time around these parts as long-time friends departed and a bunch of untested, unknowns rose through the brutal n00b gauntlet to seize the means of promo production. These greenhorn neophytes have created great havoc at AMG HQ with their terrible taste, inability to follow directions, and steadfast refusal to ignore deathcore.
We’ve been here before, though, and we always straighten out the newbie upstarts. The daily beatings, deprivations, and absence of positive reinforcement will wear them down, and if not, we have plenty of space in the rotpit out back. This is, and will ever be, the AMG modality.
2026 will be an interesting year as the new crew members are shepherded by the olde while everyone is crushed beneath the iron heel of AMG management. Who will make it to 2027? Who will be sold off to Metal Wani for a box of bananas and Gorilla Glue? Place your bets in the official AMG Survival Pool!
As you read the Top Ten(ish) lists below, remember, reading our content is free, but you get what you pay for.
Grymm
#10. Venomous Echoes // Dysmor
#9. Blut Aus Nord // Ethereal Horizons
#8. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#7. Structure // Heritage
#6. Lorna Shore // I Feel The Everblack Festering Within Me
#5. Sigh // I Saw The World’s End – Hangman’s Hymn MMXXV
#4. Imperial Triumphant // Goldstar
#3. Am I In Trouble? // Spectrum
#2. Dax Riggs // 7 Songs for Spiders
#1. Paradise Lost // Ascension – I fully expected Paradise Lost to come out with quality music, which has been mostly par for the course in their storied almost-40-year career, and no one could blame them if they decided to coast along on their legendary sound. Instead, Ascension sees them giving a masterclass in songcraft and atmosphere, showing everyone, everywhere, how it’s done. With Black Sabbath now officially put to rest, Anathema long gone, and whatever the fuck is happening within My Dying Bride these days, somebody has to fly the British Doom flag high and proud, and Paradise Lost have done a bang-up job of doing so.Personal Highlight o’ the Year: Seeing Acid Bath live. I may or may not have cried during “Venus Blue,” and no, I don’t fucking care. 19-Year-Old me was pleased as punch that 48-Year-Old me got to see a legendary band (and one of his personal favorites) come back from tragedy to pay tribute to their fallen bassist and friend, Audie Pitre, by giving it another long-awaited go.
Disappointment(s) o’ the Year:
- Losing so many influential heroes (RIP Ozzy Osbourne, Ace Frehley, and Tomas Lindberg, among too many others)
- My health: I was hoping to be a lot more active this year, but early on, I needed to, in the immortal words of David Lynch, “fix (my) heart or die.”1 Thankfully, after surgery, I feel a million times better, so you should see a lot more of me in 2026. You have been warned.
Song o’ the Year:
- Paradise Lost // “Salvation”
El Cuervo
#ish. Astronoid // Stargod
#10. Ollie Wride // The Pressure Point
#9. Kauan // Wayhome
#8. Zéro Absolu // La Saignée
#7. Mutagenic Host // The Diseased Machine
#6. Asira // As Ink in Water
#5. Bruit // The Age of Ephemerality
#4. Saor // Amidst the Ruins
#3. The Midnight // Syndicate
#2. Steven Wilson // The Overview
#1. Messa // The Spin – In a year replete with comfort picks—progressive rock, synthwave, and death metal abound—how is that Italy’s enigmatic, inscrutable Messa forged my Album o’ the Year? The Spin doesn’t take the trouble to make itself easily approachable. Doom, prog, and post influences circle around velvety melodies that sometimes sound like deliberate songs, and sometimes like jazz improvisation. But it’s these very qualities that belie its subtle allure; only with repetition and attention does The Spin shine. Messa gradually reveals rhythmic motifs, instrumental nuances, and rich compositions that enhance my life on so many days. “The Dress,” especially, is stunning. And though the record’s loungey whimsy defies metal conventions, each track prizes genuine grit through its top-drawer guitar riffs. With the devotion it demands, no record from 2025 was more rewarding than The Spin.Honorable Mentions:
- Décryptal – Simulacre
- An Abstract Illusion – The Sleeping City
- Puteraeon – Mountains of Madness
- Hasard – Abgnose
Song o’ the Year:
- Ambush – “Maskirovka”
GardensTale
#ish. Structure // Heritage
#10. In Mourning //The Immortal
#9. Flummox // Southern Progress
#8. Der Weg Einer Freiheit // Innern
#7. Nephylim // Circuition
#6. Besna // Krásno
#5. Messa // The Spin
#4. Labyrinthus Stellarum // Rift in Reality
#3. Gazpacho // Magic 8 Ball
#2. Dormant Ordeal// Tooth & Nail
#1. Moron Police // Pachinko — I was a little nervous when I first read about the length and ambition behind Pachinko, especially in the context of the incredible and very concise A Boat on the Sea. I’ve never been this happy to be this wrong. Nothing in the last decade has overtaken my life as much as Pachinko has, and I’m listening to it yet again as I write this, and will probably restart it once it finishes. Pachinko has a lot in common with Everything Everywhere All At Once, one of my all-time favorite films, as a treatise on the chaos of life and the importance of friends and family. It treats its philosophy of silliness very seriously, laughing in the face of darkness in such a beautiful and inspiring way; it brightens my life every time I hear it. And it does all that in tribute to a dear friend who was gone too soon and too suddenly, and no other eulogistic album has let me feel like its subject’s soul touched mine. An astounding monument to friendship on top of an incredibly accomplished hour of music. Pachinko is a miracle.Honorable Mentions:
- Hangover in Minsk // Party is Over
- 1914 // Viribus Unitis
- Bianca // Bianca
- Fange // Purulences
- An Abstract Illusion // The Sleeping City
- Blindfolded // What Seeps Through Threads
Song o’ the Year:
- Moron Police – “Giving up the Ghost”
Non-metal Albums of the Year:
- Lorde // Virgin
- Jonathan Hultén // Eyes of the Living Night
- Shayfer James // Summoning
Mark Z.
#ish. Malefic Throne // The Conquering Darkness
#10. Urn // Demon Steel
#9. Teitanblood // From the Visceral Abyss
#8. Shed the Skin // The Carnage Cast Shadows
#7. Guts // Nightmare Fuel
#6. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#5. Perdition Temple // Malign Apotheosis
#4. Paradise Lost // Ascension
#3. Revocation // New Gods, New Masters
#2. Death Yell // Demons of Lust
#1. Abominator // The Fire Brethren – It took me a few years after hearing this Australian duo’s last album, 2015’s Evil Proclaimed, to realize I was wrong about them. Their raw and relentless black-death metal wasn’t just good, it was fucking awesome. With their long-awaited sixth album, The Fire Brethren, Abominator has conjured flames that reach higher than ever. As always, the enraged rasps, scorching riffs, and endlessly pummeling rhythms are like plumes of hellfire shot directly into your ear canals. But amidst the bludgeoning is some genuinely great songwriting, with deep-cutting hooks (“The Templar’s Curse,” “Underworld Vociferations”), flashes of melody (“Progenitors of the Insurrection of Satan”), thrashy breaks (“Sulphur from the Heavens”), and just enough variety to keep everything hitting as hard as possible. It’s not for everyone, but for those into Angelcorpse and other music of that sort, The Fire Brethren is the type of album you just can’t get enough of.Honorable Mention:
- Blasphamagoatachrist // Bestial Abominator
Song (Title) o’ the Year:
- Omegavortex – “Dystopian Worldrape”
Song o’ the Year:
- Fugitive – “Spheres of Virulence”
Carcharodon
#ish. Dax Riggs // 7 Songs for Spiders
#10. Novarupta // Astral Sands
#9. Atlantic // Timeworn
#8. Structure // Heritage
#7. Agriculture // The Spiritual Sound
#6. Igorr // Amen
#5. Messa // The Spin
#4. Abigail Williams // A Void Within Existence
#3. Cave Sermon // Fragile Wings
#2. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#1. Grima // Nightside – In each of 2019, 2021, and 2022, Grima released an album and, in each of those years, I listed said album (#5, HM, and #10). But this year, the year in which I have listened to the least metal and, of course, written the least since I started here in 2018, is also the year that Grima got everything dialled in to just what I want from a Grima album. On Nightside, the duo struck the perfect balance between the traditional influences of 2019’s Will of the Primordial and the propulsive, frozen atmosphere of Frostbitten (2022). The combination gives Nightside an almost hypnotic and weirdly tranquil flow, offset by Vilhelm’s rasping vocals, which remain among the best in the BM game. Every time I come back to this record, and the title track in particular, it’s even better than I remember it being, and I always end up spinning three or more times back-to-back. An album that can keep playing that trick deserves its #1 spot in my book.Honorable Mentions:
- An Abstract Illusion // The Sleeping City
- Gorycz // Zasypia
- Psychonaut // World Maker
- Wardruna // Birna
Songs o’ the Year:
- Messa – “Fire on the Roof”
- Novarupta – “Now Here We Are (At the Inevitable End)”
Mysticus Hugebeard
#10. Orbit Culture // Death Above Life
#9. An Abstract Illusion // The Sleeping City
#8. Qrixkuor // The Womb of the World
#7. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#6. Panopticon // Laurentian Blue
#5. Blackbraid // Blackbraid III
#4. Arkhaaik // Uihtis
#3. Kauan // Wayhome
#2. Wardruna // Birna
#1. Thumos // The Trial of Socrates – I recall groggily stumbling upon Thumos’ The Trial of Socrates at work one early morning, and I’m not sure if I’ve grown attached to it or it’s grown attached to me. It looms in my periphery, routinely interrupting my listening schedule for just one more spin. This gargantuan dive into ancient Greek philosophy and justice is melodically rich, laden with atmosphere, and fiercely intelligent. I love how this album stimulates my curiosity. I pore over The Trial of Socrates like a madman, piecing the puzzle together with feverish glee but never quite feeling finished, because every re-listen yields new shapes, new colors, new ideas. It eggs me on to research various topics on ancient Greek history or philosophy, and even made for an unlikely study partner during my long preparations for the German A1 exam. I always feel smarter by the end of it—hubris, I’m sure, but The Trial of Socrates genuinely sparks my imagination in ways few albums do. Time to go listen to “The Phædo” for the zillionth time.Honorable Mentions:
- Night Flight Orchestra // Give Us The Moon
- Mutagenic Host // The Diseased Machine
Songs o’ the Year:
- Disarmonia Mundi – “Outcast”
The Dormant Stranger by Disarmonia Mundi
- Jamie Page & Marcy Nabors – “Do No Harm (Ventricular Mix)”
Do No Harm by Jamie Paige, Marcy Nabors, & Penny Parker
- Thumos – “The Phædo”
The Trial of Socrates by Thumos
Disappointment(s) o’ the year:
- The dissolution of Ante-Inferno: After Death’s Soliloquy topped my list last year, I was genuinely gutted to see Ante-Inferno’s post that they were no more. Still, I shall not weep but rather smile that they happened, because Ante-Inferno was a rare breed of genuinely moving black metal. Just that one album rooted itself so deeply within me, and I will be listening for a long time.
- Arno Menses leaving Subsignal: Man, fuck. Fuck. Remember my nuclear-grade glaze of Subsignal, where I might as well have said Menses’ voice single-handedly justified the entire existence of music? How could I not break down in heaving sobs in the middle of this Denny’s when I heard that Menses and Subsignal have parted ways? It sucks, I tell ya. I will still listen to what Subsignal puts out in the future, because Markus Steffen is a talented musician, but it’s going to be a huge adjustment since Menses is nigh irreplaceable.
Samguineous Maximus
#ish. Imperial Triumphant // Goldstar
#10. Primitive Man // Observance
#9. Motherless // Do You Feel Safe?
#8. Deafheaven // Lonely People with Power
#7. Weeping Sores // The Convalescence Agonies
#6. Between the Buried and Me // The Blue Nowhere
#5. Calva Louise // Edge of the Abyss
#4. 1914 // Viribus Unitis
#3. Crippling Alcoholism // Camgirl
#2. Crippling Alcoholism // Bible Songs II
#1. Yellow Eyes // Confusion Gate – Yellow Eyes are one of the best black metal bands in the game, and Confusion Gate is their most impressive work to date. It sees the band return to a more traditional atmospheric sound, but with the lessons learned from their explorations of dissonance and ambience. The result is a kaleidoscopic blend of gorgeous melodies, haunting riffs, and a pervasive sense of pathos that only the best art can achieve. Confusion Gate feels like communing with nature from the top of a wintry peak, embodying both impossible grandeur and awesome terror. This is a record that bypasses the analytical reviewer’s brain and just hits me right in the feeling. It offers a unique catharsis in a year where I truly needed it.Honorable Mentions
- Flummox // Southern Progress
- Hexrot // Formless Ruin of Oblivion
- Ava Mendoza/Gabby fluke-Mogal/Carolina Pérez // Mama Killa
- Strigiform // Aconite
Song o’ the Year:
- Crippling Alcoholism – “Ladies Night”
Spicie Forrest
#ish. Cryptopsy // An Insatiable Violence
#10. Crimson Shadows // Whispers of War
#9. Oromet // The Sinking Isle
#8. -ii- // Apostles of the Flesh
#7. Suncraft // Welcome to the Coven
#6. Suncraft // Profanation of the Adamic Covenant
#5. Chestcrush // ΨΥΧΟΒΓΑΛΤΗΣ
#4. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#3. Qrixkuor // The Womb of the World
#2. Primitive Man // Observance
#1. Wytch Hazel // V: Lamentations – I know, I’m surprised too. But the bottom line is that I’ve been listening to V: Lamentations front to back at least once a week since it released on the most American of holidays, July 4th. For Steel, Wytch Hazel’s latest didn’t have the same staying power as previous efforts, but Lamentations is the first to truly resonate with me. Though musically consistent with their Wishbone Ash-meets-Eagles style, vocalist Colin Hendra brings a new sense of passion to the record, and the interplay between instruments, vocals, and lyrics hits me like a lightning bolt. Very possibly inspired by the core Christian tenet laid out in Romans 6:23-24,2 Lamentations is a masterful portrayal of what it means to perpetually fail, to know you’ll never be good enough, and in the face of a salvation that renders all efforts, deeds, and accomplishments worthless, to keep striving toward the impossible anyway. Even for godless sinners like me, Lamentations is a beautiful reminder that purpose is found in hardship, that the journey is the goal, and that falling down is merely an opportunity to stand up again.Honorable Mentions:
- Proscription // Desolate Divine
- Apocalypse Orchestra // A Plague upon Thee
- Messa // The Spin
- Bloodywood // Nu Delhi
- Pedestal for Leviathan // Enter: Vampyric Manifestation
Song o’ the Year:
- Yellowcard – “honestly i”
Grin Reaper
(ish) Sallow Moth // Mossbane Lantern
#10. Turian // Blood Quantum Blues
#9. Calva Louise // Edge of the Abyss
#8. Lychgate // Precipice
#7. An Abstract Illusion // The Sleeping City
#6. Thron // Vurias
#5. Structure // Heritage
#4. Species // Changelings
#3. Havukruunu // Tavastland
#2. Aephanemer // Utopie
#1. 1914 // Viribus Unitis – I didn’t know Viribus Unitis would be my top album of the year the first time I listened to it, but I knew it would list. 1914’s naked emotion and rousing story of a Ukrainian soldier’s survival through World War I, reconciliation with his family, and inescapable return to war remains as gripping and bittersweet now as it did the first time I heard it. Across adrenaline-fueled riffing, oppressive marches, and somber dirges, 1914 never relents on musical or lyrical weight. Though Viribus Unitis was released late in the year, it quickly became the standard I used to appraise albums while going through listing season. 1914 paints war-torn life with savage grace, supplying devastating melody and grueling crawls that elevate the album to such heights that I’m genuinely moved each time I get to the end. Viribus Unitis is bleak, raw, and human, but for all that, I’m never deterred from listening. Ultimately, 1914 clutches the threads of hope and weaves an aural tapestry that brings tragedy and triumph to life, cementing Viribus Unitis as my undisputed top album of 2025.
Honorable Mentions:- Walg // V
- Moron Police // Pachinko
- Defigurement // Endbryo
- Ültra Raptör // Fossilized
- Igorrr // Amen
Songs o’ the Year:
- Aephanemer – “Le Cimetière Marin”
- 1914 – “1918 Pt. III: ADE (A Duty to Escape)”
Andy-War-Hall
#ish: Dragon Skull // Chaos Fire Vengeance
#10: Changeling // Changeling
#9: Steel Arctus // Dreamruler
#8: Abigail Williams //A Void Within Existence
#7: Petrified Giant // Endless Ark
#6: Imperial Triumphant // Goldstar
#5: Structure // Heritage
#4: Lipoma // No Cure for the Sick
#3: Crippling Alcoholism // Camgirl
#2: Hexrot // Formless Ruin of Oblivion
#1: 1914 // Viribus Unitis – Immersion defines great music and art for me. It is almost unfortunate how good 1914 are in this facet of their music. Their ability to transport the listener to the battlefield in all its violence, both carnal and psychological, is stupefying. The utter dehumanizing hatred with “1914 (The Siege of Przemyśl),” the ravenous bloodlust of “1917 (The Isonzo Front),” the hellish wails haunting “1918 Pt. 1 (WIA – Wounded in Action):” all portrayed vividly through 1914’s brilliantly caustic and composed musicianship and deeply personal lyricism. When Dmytro Ternushchak bellows “For three days / The Russians attacked / And accomplished nothing but / 40,000 dead pigs” [“1914 (The Siege of Przemyśl)”], it’s all you need to get into his character’s violent headspace. When 1914 mournfully sing in Ukrainian “Це моя земля”3 [1915 (Easter Battle for the Zwinin Ridge)], you grasp how someone could put their life on the line for kin and country. When our soldier sings “My little girl reached out to me / But duty calls” [1919 (The Home Where I Died)]… well, shit, your heart just has to break, right? 1914 don’t play “history metal.” Viribus Unitis is as present and relevant as you can get.Honorable Mentions:
- Fell Omen // Caelid Dog Summer
- Ophelion // The Jaunt
- Coroner // Dissonance Theory
- Starscourge // Conqueror of the Stars – Betwixt Sundered Seraphim, the Lands Between Bleed
Song o’ the Year:
- Fell Omen – “The Fire is Still Warm”
Lavender Larcenist
#ish Spiritbox // Tsunami Sea
#10. Sold Soul // Just Like That, I Disappear Entirely
#9. Calva Louise // Edge of the Abyss
#8. Dying Wish // Flesh Stays Together
#7. Grima // Nightside
#6. Aversed // Erasure of Color
#5. Deafheaven // Lonely People With Power
#4. Ghost Bath // Rose Thorn Necklace
#3. Changeling // Changeling
#2. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#1. Crippling Alcoholism // Camgirl – Sometimes you listen to music, and you feel like it gets you. Camgirl was exactly that type of album, and it probably doesn’t say anything good about me. Ever since Crippling Alcoholism’s latest graced my ears and I shared it with my partner, we have been singing “I fucking hate the way I look, yeah I look like a fat fucking scumbag” way too often and mumbling “Mr. Ran away, ran away from family” every chance we get. The album is dripping with the atmosphere of neon-lit back rooms, seedy interactions, and terrible decision-making. It feels like a lens into the lives of those society has left behind, and I can’t help but feel a connection. The self-destructive nihilism, drugged-out sex, and abrupt violence that is all too common in those on the margins of life is something I think more and more we can all relate to, and Camgirl is the art that mirrors society back to us. As a result, it is an album that is just as ugly as it is terrifying and beautiful.
Honorable Mentions:- Shadow of Intent // Imperium Delirium
- Pupil Slicer // Fleshwork
- 1914 // Viribus Unitis
Song o’ the Year:
- Crippling Alcoholism – “bedrot”
Creeping Ivy
#ish. Nite // Cult of the Serpent Sun
#10. Blackbraid // Blackbraid III
#9. Flummox // Southern Progress
#8. 1914 // Viribus Unitis
#7. Cave Sermon // Fragile Wings
#6. Saor // Amidst the Ruins
#5. Imperial Triumphant // Goldstar
#4. Phantom Spell // Heather & Hearth
#3. Coroner // Dissonance Theory
#2. Messa // The Spin
#1. Havukruunu // Tavastland – On their Bandcamp page, Havukruunu explain the concept of their fourth LP: ‘Tavastland tells how in 1237 the Tavastians rose in rebellion against the church of Christ and drove the popes naked into the frost to die.’ Sounds like the metal album of 2025 to me! But I didn’t crown Tavastland for its lyrics that I can’t understand. As Dr. A.N. Grier has been exhorting for a decade, Havukruunu stands as a model of Viking black metal consistency, having dropped only very good-to-great albums since 2015. Tavastland isn’t a radical improvement over 2020’s Uinuous syömein sota, but it’s an (arguably excellent) improvement nonetheless, making it Havukruunu’s finest work yet. Yes, these fiery Finns forge sounds reminiscent of Bathory and Immortal, but Tavastland seized my attention for its adventurous prog sensibilities. Some of this can be attributed to the return of Hümo, whose bass rattles like the four strings of Geddy Lee. But the prog is deep in the album craft, from the overture-style modulations of opener “Kuolematon laulunhenki” to the extended guitar wankery of closer “De miseriis fennorum.” Now if only I can learn Finnish, I’ll be able to appreciate the killer anti-popery narrative while headbanging to my Record o’ 2025.Honorable Mentions:
- Am I in Trouble? // Spectrum
- Blut Aus Nord // Ethereal Horizons
- In Mourning // The Immortal
- Oromet // The Sinking Isle
- Wyatt E. // Zamāru Ultu Qereb Ziqquratu Part 1
Song o’ the Year:
- Phantom Spell – “The Autumn Citadel”
Baguette of Bodom
#ish. In the Woods… // Otra
#10. Species // Changelings
#9. Dragon Skull // Chaos Fire Vengeance
#8. A-Z // A2Z²
#7. Apocalypse Orchestra // A Plague upon Thee
#6. Amorphis // Borderland
#5. Dolmen Gate // Echoes of Ancient Tales
#4. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail
#3. Amalekim // Shir Hashirim
#2. Suotana // Ounas II
#1. Buried Realm // The Dormant Darkness – Melodic tech death? Symphonic power metal? Who knows! Much like my 2025 in general, The Dormant Darkness has a bit of everything in one gigantic clusterfuck. The great news is, neither I nor the album crumbled under all that weight. In a year full of odd twists and turns, my list became more varied and unusual than ever. Buried Realm took this variety and gave me everything I like about metal in one dense package: blazing speeds, soaring guitars, majestic vocals, and relentless fury. It’s also inexplicably well-produced for how many layers there are to deal with. While 2025 was not a particularly star-studded release year—especially compared to most of the 2020s so far—it threw plenty of fun curveballs at me, and The Dormant Darkness exemplifies this with its Xothian fusion of metal subgenres in one big Ophidian I blender ov shred. I would also like to request several Christian Älvestam features on every album, please.Honorable Mentions:
- Victim of Fire // The Old Lie
- Dawn of Solace // Affliction Vortex
- Dynazty // Game of Faces
- Coroner // Dissonance Theory
- Hooded Menace // Lachrymose Monuments of Obscuration
Song o’ the Year:
- Dragon Skull – “Blood and Souls”
Chaos Fire Vengeance by Dragon Skull
#1914 #2025 #AZ #AbigailWilliams #Abominator #Aephanemer #Agriculture #AmIInTrouble #Amalekim #Ambush #Amorphis #AnAbstractIllusion #ApocalypseOrchestra #Arkhaaik #Asira #Astronoid #Atlantic #AvaMendozaGabbyFlukeMogalCarolinaPérez #Aversed #Besna #BetweenTheBuriedAndMe #Bianca #Blackbraid #Blasphamagoatachrist #Blindfolded #BlogLists #Bloodywood #BlutAusNord #Bruit #BuriedRealm #CalvaLouise #CaveSermon #Changeling #Chestcrush #Coroner #CrimsonShadows #CripplingAlcoholism #DawnOfSolace #DaxRiggs #Deafheaven #DeathYell #Décryptal #Defigurement #DerWegEinerFreiheit #DolmenGate #DormantOrdeal #DragonSkull #DyingWish #Dynazty #Fange #FellOmen #Flummox #Gazpacho #GhostBath #Gorycz #Grima #Guts #HangoverInMinsk #Hasard #Havukruunu #Hexrot #HoodedMenace #Igorr #Igorrr #II #ImperialTriumphant #JonathanHultén #Kauan #LabyrinthusStellarum #Lipoma #Lists #Lorde #LornaShore #Lychgate #MaleficThrone #Messa #MoronPolice #Motherless #MutagenicHost #Nephylim #NightFlightOrchestra #Nite #Novarupta #OllieWride #Ophelion #OrbitCulture #Oromet #Panopticon #ParadiseLost #PedestalForLeviathan #PerditionTemple #PetrifiedGiant #PhantomSpell #PrimitiveMan #Proscription #Psychonaut #PupilSlicer #Puteraeon #Qrixkuor #Revocation #SallowMoth #Saor #ShadowOfIntent #ShayferJames #ShedTheSkin #Sigh #SoldSoul #Species #Spiritbox #Starscourge #SteelArctus #StevenWilson #Strigiform #Structure #Suncraft #Suotana #Teitanblood #TheAMGStaffPickTheirTopTenIshOf2025 #TheMidnight #Thron #Thumos #Turian #ÜltraRaptör #Urn #VenomousEchoes #VictimOfFire #Walg #Wardruna #WeepingSores #WyattE #WytchHazel #YellowEyes #Yellowcard #ZéroAbsolu -
Mostly Monday Reads: Free Press vs. a Thin-skinned Putin Wannabe
“Out with the old, a new franchise is born on State Controlled Media, redefining late-night television. Mass for shut-ins step aside.” John Buss, @repeat1968
Good Day, Sky Dancers!
Banana Republics look out! We’re on the road to attaining your status. Yam Tits has had it with all programming that doesn’t reflect his false narratives. There’s also that fake image he tries to project and sell. He’s after all forms of information providers, and just to prove he’s yanking a few chains, I’ve had a difficult time finding critiques in the usual places. So here are three unusual sources for my top reads today.
First up is the CBC. The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation is the Canadian Public broadcaster. It’s still in business. I grabbed this headline from its Entertainment division. John’s cartoon over there really hits the nail on the head today. FARTUS really doesn’t like the truth. “Trump vs. TV: A play-by-play of a wild week taking on the U.S. president’s naysayers. Mocking leaders isn’t new, but critics say political satire is now in the crosshairs.”
First he came for late-night TV, then a daytime talk show and a crude cartoon.
U.S. President Donald Trump and his administration are fighting battles on all fronts when it comes to mockery and criticism of the 47th commander-in-chief.
As speculation swirls that CBS might have turfed The Late Show with Stephen Colbert because of his recent criticism of parent company Paramount Global agreeing to a $16-million US settlement with the president over a 60 Minutes interview, the White House has also come out swinging this week against the animated series South Park and ABC’s The View.
South Park‘s 27th season premiere episode, which aired on Wednesday, lampooned the president and the CBS-Colbert drama and depicted a naked Trump climbing into bed with Satan. That same day, a co-host of The View accused Trump of being “jealous” of former president Barack Obama’s looks and marriage.
Even though he’s known for mocking a range of people he doesn’t like, Trump’s image, persona and brand are what made him a household name, and he doesn’t take it well when he senses attacks on any of them.
While he would largely take out his anger in a Twitter tirade during his first administration (what X was known as back then), there are concerns that Trump is using his power in his second term to influence corporate decision-making and settle grievances — especially when it comes to the news and entertainment industry.
But freedom of expression groups say the political satire and parody that are now under fire are art forms that are not only constitutionally protected but vital to public discourse.
“We have mocked presidents and leaders in this country since before this was a country,” Will Creeley, legal director of the Philadelphia-based advocacy group Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression (FIRE), told CBC News.
“If you can’t make fun of who’s running the country, then the First Amendment doesn’t mean a damn thing.”
So, I suppose using CBC for a source doesn’t surprise you. I probably will surprise you with this one. It’s from The Hill, which isn’t surprising, but the source of the story will be. “Fox News reporter: Trump FCC targeting ‘The View’ could impact network someday.” The way things are going, some day is not that far away. Dominick Mastrangelo has the headline.
Fox News reporter Alicia Acuna warned over the weekend that President Trump’s criticism of networks and shows such as ABC and “The View” could eventually hit conservative media outlets under a Democratic presidential administration.
“As much as it would be nice to think about, like, ‘Oh, “The View’s” gonna go away. Whew, that sounds nice,’ we also have to consider this isn’t the only administration that’s going to be there forever,” Acuna said during an appearance on “The Big Weekend Show”.
“A tool that can be used by this administration can very well be used by the next. And if they were able to do away with ‘The View,’ they could very well — the next administration that comes in that doesn’t like Fox could do the same.”
The reporter’s comments were first highlighted by Mediaite.
Trump has repeatedly ridiculed ABC News over its coverage of his administration and threatened to use the power of his Federal Communications Commission (FCC) to scrutinize the network’s broadcast license.
FCC Chair Brendan Carr, during a recent interview on Fox, suggested “The View,” the network’s table talk news and debate program, could face “consequences” over panelists’ criticisms of Trump.
The Mediate article is worth reading.”Fox News Correspondent Warns Colleagues Not to Celebrate Trump’s FCC for Targeting The View: Next Administration ‘Could Do the Same’ to Fox.” This story comes from the desk of Joe DePaolo. You will notice that there is no shortage of political cartoonists weighing in on the topic. We are all South Park now.
A Fox News correspondent delivered a warning to colleagues celebrating President Donald Trump’s FCC for targeting The View: What goes around could well come around.
During a panel discussion Saturday night on The Big Weekend Show, Fox News senior correspondent Alicia Acuna cautioned her colleagues to be careful what they wish for when it comes to the fate of the ABC daytime talk show — which FCC chairman Brendan Carr recently said could face “consequences” following Joy Behar’s recent criticism of the president.
“As much as it would be nice to think about, like, ‘Oh, The View’s gonna go away. Whew, that sounds nice!’ We also have to consider this isn’t the only administration that’s going to be there forever,” Acuna said. “A tool that can be used by this administration can very well be used by the next. And if they were able to do away with The View they could very well — the next administration that comes in that doesn’t like Fox — could do the same.”
Fox News host Guy Benson concurred.
“I think that is a wise warning,” Benson said.
Carr — in a Thursday interview on Fox’s America’s Newsroom with anchor Bill Hemmer — said The View could have “issues.”
“Is The View now in the crosshairs of this administration?” Hemmer asked Carr.
“Look, it’s entirely possible that there’s issues over there,” Carr said. “I mean, again, stepping back, this broader dynamic, once President Trump has exposed these media gatekeepers and smashed this facade, there’s a lot of consequences. I think the consequences of that aren’t quite finished. And look, The View‘s got a lot challenges there. It wasn’t that long ago, I think, one episode, one show alone, they had to stop, interrupt the show, and read four separate legal notices to try to avoid legal liability. So I’m not surprised to hear people saying that their ratings are struggling.”
Now for my third source, Inside Radio. “Former FCC Chairs Warn of Troubling Shifts in Media Oversight, DEI Policy.”
Former Federal Communications Commission members are sounding the alarm — the nation’s media watchdog is being weaponized, its independence eroded, and decades-old norms tossed aside. At the Multicultural Media, Telecom and Internet Council’s annual Former FCC Chairs’ Symposium on Friday, they said the stakes for media — and democracy — have rarely been higher.
During a wide-ranging discussion in Washington, media policy took center stage early in the conversation. Former FCC Chair Mignon Clyburn issued a blunt assessment. “The Trump FCC 2.0 has abandoned its traditional role, and it has been unprecedented over, you know, when you look out over the 90-year history,” she said.
The former Chair under President Obama added that the Commission is now stepping into areas historically beyond its scope. “Traditionally, the FCC focused on communications-specific concerns, not general corporate employment practices. That’s the shift that we’re talking about here, and that is what I find problematic,” Clyburn said.
The panel then turned to a longstanding pillar of broadcast regulation — the public interest standard — and whether it still has a place in today’s competitive media environment.
Reed Hundt, who chaired the FCC during the Clinton administration, pointed out the inherent vagueness of the concept.
“The problem with the public interest standard is that you don’t know what it is when you see it, and you can’t define it,” Hundt said. “Every time the FCC has tried to write it down, the appellate court has thrown out their effort.” He suggested the Commission should consider eliminating the standard entirely. “It shouldn’t be a weapon that anybody can use. It should be a guideline for the industry that can be followed. But it isn’t,” Hundt said.
Clyburn reinforced the point by contrasting the Commission’s historical focus with its recent approach. “Traditionally, the FCC focused on communications-specific concerns, not general corporate employment practices,” she said. That is reference to the Trump administration’s push to get broadcasters and other industries regulated by the FCC to abandon diversity, equity, and inclusion efforts.
It’s really a difficult period of American History if the rabbit hole I have to go down into is the country’s ongoing loss of First Amendment Rights. But killing a free press is the first strategy of a nascent dictator-wannabe. Give an old professor a break as she heads straight to the academic studies. IMS keeps track of Journalism around the world. I was particularly drawn to this piece. “How autocrats use the media to keep control. A trend of democratic backsliding throughout 2020 escalated in an extreme way in 2021. From Myanmar to Belarus, powerholders have unravelled years of human rights achievements with dramatic arrests of journalists, destroyed infrastructure and regime changes – and people’s access to information and their right to freedom of expression have been among the casualties.” I picked this one because it was written prior to the Trump Regime, but it looks like the MAGA playbook straight out of Project 2025. The word “Lawfare” has entered the American lexicon.
“Lawfare” uses laws and legislation to limit the press, whether that means bureaucratic licencing requirements for journalists and media houses or using defamation laws to intimidate critical voices. Defamation laws have manifested as anti-blasphemy laws in Pakistan; national security laws in Hong Kong; and through “fake news” laws with broad phrasing such as those that gained steam under the pretext of Covid-19 safety but have been used to control populations.
Even Nobel laureate Maria Ressa has been the target of multiple cyber libel charges, in addition to the harassment and threats incited towards her. The charges against her under these laws were also used as a threat to prevent her from traveling to Oslo to receive her Nobel peace prize before the courts eventually relented. Similarly, an increasing number of strategic lawsuits against public participation – known as SLAPPS – have been used by powerful figures around the world to intimidate critics who may not be able to withstand the financial or psychological toll of court cases.
Mass communication relies on complex networks: from the initial report until the audience receives the final story, access to information requires different physical and digital infrastructures.
It comes as no surprise, then, that autocrats would seek to control infrastructure as a way of repressing freedom of expression. It is easy to point to the extreme, physical destruction of infrastructure, such as the Israeli airstrikes hitting multiple Palestinian media houses – including IMS partner Filastinyat – or in 2022 the Russian bombing of the Kyiv TV Tower. But control of infrastructure is often more insidious.
There is a power play between governments and tech companies over who owns and controls our means of communication – and who has access to people’s data. It is not uncommon for telecoms companies to be owned by oligarchs who are friendly towards a regime. Even in cases such as the Norwegian mobile network Telenor, which left Myanmar rather than cooperating with the military, the infrastructure was sold to a company that was willing to cooperate with the military.
Big Tech allows much to happen on its watch. While social media platforms have been used to spark revolution, they have also been sources of hate speech and disinformation, leading to polarisation and violence. A lack of knowledge of the local contexts in which they operate allows mis- and disinformation to spread from government and unofficial sources. Without consistent policies on what they are willing to tolerate, Big Tech seems most motivated by protecting profits, leaving countries with oppressive governments only once they are forced to and not because of ethical considerations for populations.
Autocrats have a variety of tools at their disposal to supress and intimidate critical voices. The above four steps create fear or lead journalists to lose or leave their jobs, or – in extreme cases – costs journalists’ lives.
Subsequently, defending press freedom and freedom of expression cannot be managed by fighting on only one front. This has always been clear, and strongly underlined by events in 2021 (and the beginning of 2022). Interventions must come from legislative angles and from lobbying international tech companies that profit while looking away from undemocratic policies. And the international community needs to hold their focus on the struggles of journalists and populations under autocracies, not just when dramatic events grab the headlines, but in the day-to-day battle for people’s rights.
Trump’s dalliance with suing The Wall Street Journal is also back in the headlines. This is from CNBC’s Dan Mangan: “Trump seeks quick deposition of Rupert Murdoch in Jeffrey Epstein letter defamation case.” And of course, there is some dank shit in the brief from Trump’s team. This description really got me laughing.
“Trump’s lawyers cite Murdoch’s advanced age to submit to questioning under oath earlier than would be normal, suggesting that Murdoch will either be too ill or dead to testify at trial.”
I mean, was that really necessary?
Lawyers for President Donald Trump asked a judge on Monday to order Rupert Murdoch to sit for a deposition within 15 days for Trump’s $10 billion lawsuit accusing the media mogul of defaming him in a Wall Street Journal article about a “bawdy” birthday letter to sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.
Trump’s lawyers cited Murdoch’s advanced age to submit to questioning under oath as a chief argument in their motion to compel him to testify earlier than would be normal in such a lawsuit, suggesting that Murdoch will either be too ill or dead to testify by the time the case goes to trial.
“Murdoch is 94 years old, has suffered from multiple health issues throughout his life, is believed to have suffered recent significant health scares, and is presumed to live in New York, New York,” Trump’s lawyers said in their legal filing in Miami federal court.
“Taken together, these factors weigh heavily in determining that Murdoch would be unavailable for in-person testimony at trial,” the lawyers wrote.
The attorneys also cited the fact that there is, as yet, no order scheduling the exchange of evidence and testimony in the case.
You’ll notice how this got a lot of ‘play’ in Scotland and the UK. This article appeared in The Guardian, and the film was all over Social Media. “Rough deal: Social media roasts Trump’s golf game after clip appears to show alleged cheating in Scotland. Trump has long been accused of cheating at golf and mixing politics and business on the course.” Josh Marcus has the story about the ball that went into the roughest of the rough only to be replaced on the green by his caddie.
Social media users pounced on a clip that appears to show Donald Trump cheating on the golf course during his ongoing trip to Scotland, the latest in a long line of accusations that the president cheats on the fairway.
In the video circulated by liberal commentators, a caddy appears to walk ahead of the golf-loving president in his golf cart and drop a ball behind him as the president approaches.
“Trump working hard to bring down grocery prices,” the caption says, making a satirical reference to the president’s campaign promises to tackle inflation and costs.
“For the morons that think Trump doesn’t cheat at golf and wins all those club championships fair and square….watch his caddie here,” another account wrote.
The phrase “commander in cheat” was soon trending on the social media site.
“The video of Trump’s caddy doing an Oddjob Slazenger drop isn’t a big deal; cheating at golf isn’t nearly the worst thing about Trump,” wrote The Atlantic’s Tom Nichols. “But watching the cult of personality try to explain it away is really some creepy North Korean level stuff.”
The Independent has requested comment from the White House.
The president has faced a long list of accusations that he doesn’t play fair from figures ranging from actor Samuel Jackson to LPGA player Suzann Pettersen.
Trump’s alleged cheating, which has always denied, is even the subject of a book: Rick Reilly’s Commander in Cheat.
“At Winged Foot, where Trump is a member, the caddies got so used to seeing him kick his ball back onto the fairway they came up with a nickname for him: Pele,” Reilly writes in the book.
The enticing Nichols quote can be found on X. Just letting you know, since I’m not going there or linking to it. If this little romp across the pond was supposed to highlight the strength of Orange Caligula, it failed. Although it was funny watching all the EU leaders head to Scotland to try to get TACO to just freaking make a decision on the tariffs. If he’s interested in bringing down inflation, tariffs would still not be in the headlines. Yammering about lower interest rates to the Fed Chair wouldn’t be in that policy either. He needs to find the closest community college to take Economics 101 and 102. He absolutely knows nothing about anything economics-related.
If this is really the best he can do to get the public attention off the Murdoch scandals, he’s surely failing. The Rapist-in-chief is now clearly in the box with Epstein’s enabler and partner in sexual assault and battery of children. This is from AXIOS. “Ghislaine Maxwell files Supreme Court brief appealing Epstein conviction.” There are at least two guys sitting on that court who have assaulted women. What does that say about justice and our country?
Ghislaine Maxwell pressed ahead with an appeal to the Supreme Court on Monday, seeking to overturn her conviction on the grounds that she was unlawfully prosecuted for sex trafficking minors with Jeffrey Epstein.
Why it matters: The filing by Maxwell, who was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison in 2022, comes just three days after she met with a top Justice Department official tapped to re-examine the Epstein case.
- The Trump administration has faced weeks of bipartisan backlash after reneging on promises to release all files related to the now-deceased sex trafficker.
- MAGA activists have suggested that Maxwell, a British former socialite, could be the key to exposing new information about the alleged elite pedophile ring at the heart of Epstein conspiracy theories.
Zoom in: Maxwell’s appeal revolves around a highly controversial 2007 plea agreement Epstein negotiated with the U.S. Attorney’s Office in the Southern District of Florida.
- “The United States,” the plea agreement stated, “agrees that it will not institute any criminal charges against any potential co-conspirators of Epstein, including but not limited to” four other suspects.
- Maxwell was not listed as one of those suspects — but her lawyers argue she didn’t need to be.
Between the lines: Maxwell’s attorneys, the husband-wife team of Mona and David Oscar Markus contends that a plain reading of the deal protects unnamed co-conspirators as well, since it explicitly says it’s “not limited to” those listed.
- Markus also argues that language in the deal — promising immunity from “the United States” — means Maxwell couldn’t be prosecuted for Epstein-related crimes anywhere in the country.
- “The government’s argument, across the board, is essentially an appeal to what it wishes the agreement had said, rather than what it actually says,” Mona Markus wrote in the petition.
The other side: The Justice Department says former U.S. Attorney Alex Acosta, who negotiated the deal, didn’t have authority to bind other federal districts — including the Southern District of New York, where Maxwell was ultimately tried and convicted.
The intrigue: Federal appeals courts have split over the key question of whether a plea deal struck by one U.S. Attorney’s Office applies to the entire Justice Department.
- The Justice Department acknowledged that divide in its own brief, but has urged the Supreme Court to reject Maxwell’s appeal.
- “The government was not even aware of [Maxwell’s] role in Epstein’s scheme at that time,” DOJ argued, calling her “at most, an incidental third-party beneficiary of the agreement.”
Welcome to another Monday in Trumplandia.
What’s on your Reading, Blogging, and Action list today?
#BrettCavanuagjSexualBattery #CommanderInCheat #ConservativeRepublicanSexualBatteryAndChildRape #DemocraticDecline #GhislaineMaxwell #GolfCheaterInChief #Lawfare #Trump #TrumpAndTheFirstAmendment #TrumpAttacksOnMedia #TrumpHebephile #UncleClarenceThomas #YamTits
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Scientific #discovery involves making mistakes, but these are often omitted from official reports. In this preprint, I recount a #mistake which led to the discovery that #rats were making ultrasonic #vocalizations while playing. Scientific serendipity is worth celebrating! (thanks to Markus Wöhr for encouragement to submit the tale for a special issue on ultrasonic vocalizations).
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Scientific #discovery involves making mistakes, but these are often omitted from official reports. In this preprint, I recount a #mistake which led to the discovery that #rats were making ultrasonic #vocalizations while playing. Scientific serendipity is worth celebrating! (thanks to Markus Wöhr for encouragement to submit the tale for a special issue on ultrasonic vocalizations).
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Scientific #discovery involves making mistakes, but these are often omitted from official reports. In this preprint, I recount a #mistake which led to the discovery that #rats were making ultrasonic #vocalizations while playing. Scientific serendipity is worth celebrating! (thanks to Markus Wöhr for encouragement to submit the tale for a special issue on ultrasonic vocalizations).
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Scientific #discovery involves making mistakes, but these are often omitted from official reports. In this preprint, I recount a #mistake which led to the discovery that #rats were making ultrasonic #vocalizations while playing. Scientific serendipity is worth celebrating! (thanks to Markus Wöhr for encouragement to submit the tale for a special issue on ultrasonic vocalizations).
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Scientific #discovery involves making mistakes, but these are often omitted from official reports. In this preprint, I recount a #mistake which led to the discovery that #rats were making ultrasonic #vocalizations while playing. Scientific serendipity is worth celebrating! (thanks to Markus Wöhr for encouragement to submit the tale for a special issue on ultrasonic vocalizations).
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#Diesel auf Allzeithoch: Kann die #Politik die Preise noch einfangen? | #MarkusLanz vom 07. April 2026
Seit dem Beginn des #Iran-Kriegs klettern die #Spritpreise an den #Tanksäulen stetig weiter nach oben. Die €Politik hatte mit einem ersten Paket versucht, die #Preisgestaltung #transparenter zu machen, doch viel gebracht hat das beim Preis noch nicht. Der #CSU-Politiker #AlexanderHoffmann versucht bei Markus Lanz zu erklären, wie die Regierung...
#ZDFheute
@ZDFheute -
#Diesel auf Allzeithoch: Kann die #Politik die Preise noch einfangen? | #MarkusLanz vom 07. April 2026
Seit dem Beginn des #Iran-Kriegs klettern die #Spritpreise an den #Tanksäulen stetig weiter nach oben. Die €Politik hatte mit einem ersten Paket versucht, die #Preisgestaltung #transparenter zu machen, doch viel gebracht hat das beim Preis noch nicht. Der #CSU-Politiker #AlexanderHoffmann versucht bei Markus Lanz zu erklären, wie die Regierung...
#ZDFheute
@ZDFheute -
#Diesel auf Allzeithoch: Kann die #Politik die Preise noch einfangen? | #MarkusLanz vom 07. April 2026
Seit dem Beginn des #Iran-Kriegs klettern die #Spritpreise an den #Tanksäulen stetig weiter nach oben. Die €Politik hatte mit einem ersten Paket versucht, die #Preisgestaltung #transparenter zu machen, doch viel gebracht hat das beim Preis noch nicht. Der #CSU-Politiker #AlexanderHoffmann versucht bei Markus Lanz zu erklären, wie die Regierung...
#ZDFheute
@ZDFheute -
#Diesel auf Allzeithoch: Kann die #Politik die Preise noch einfangen? | #MarkusLanz vom 07. April 2026
Seit dem Beginn des #Iran-Kriegs klettern die #Spritpreise an den #Tanksäulen stetig weiter nach oben. Die €Politik hatte mit einem ersten Paket versucht, die #Preisgestaltung #transparenter zu machen, doch viel gebracht hat das beim Preis noch nicht. Der #CSU-Politiker #AlexanderHoffmann versucht bei Markus Lanz zu erklären, wie die Regierung...
#ZDFheute
@ZDFheute -
#Diesel auf Allzeithoch: Kann die #Politik die Preise noch einfangen? | #MarkusLanz vom 07. April 2026
Seit dem Beginn des #Iran-Kriegs klettern die #Spritpreise an den #Tanksäulen stetig weiter nach oben. Die €Politik hatte mit einem ersten Paket versucht, die #Preisgestaltung #transparenter zu machen, doch viel gebracht hat das beim Preis noch nicht. Der #CSU-Politiker #AlexanderHoffmann versucht bei Markus Lanz zu erklären, wie die Regierung...
#ZDFheute
@ZDFheute -
Am Freitag 3.10. ist Bandcamp Friday!
Solltet Ihr Euch mit dem Gedanken herumschlagen, unser neues, streng limitiertes und farbiges @bleedingfoundation Vinyl-Album "GENOSHA" kaufen zu wollen, macht es an diesem Tag!
Für Euch ändert sich nichts, aber bei uns bleibt mehr Ertrag in der Kasse. Ihr sammelt also definitiv Karma-Punkte!
Unter https://bleedingfoundation.bandcamp.com/album/genosha könnt Ihr für 5€ das digitale Album und für 25€ das physische Vinyl kaufen.
Love – Lars, Frank & Markus
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New Album: [bleeding] foundation "GENOSHA"
Make your choice!Stream for free on Spotify, Apple, Deezer, Soundcloud ...
https://tinyurl.com/genoshaspotifyBuy and own tracks on Bandcamp:
https://bleedingfoundation.bandcamp.com/album/genoshaPre-order limited coloured vinyl:
https://bleedingfoundation.de/Have fun and spread love!
Lars, Frank & Markus -
Heute beim INNOQ #TechnologyDay – selten so viele kluge & realistische Perspektiven zu AI, Softwareentwicklung & Organisationskultur gehört.
Meine Highlights:
🧠 Felienne Hermans: Mehr AI = weniger Codeverständnis
⚙️ Daniel Westheide: Erst agil denken, dann agentisch handeln
🏗️ Markus Harrer: Gute Architektur braucht GovernanceLeseempfehlung: „The Memory Paradox“ 👉 https://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=5250447