#mental-illness — Public Fediverse posts

UPDATE: As I mentioned in another post, my partner just landed a job and they're having him start *today*! But it'll be a few weeks before he starts to see the income from it.. which means we definitely need to try and get this covered in the meantime because the sooner we do that, the sooner he can stop stressing over it and focus on adjusting to brand-new employment again. Thank you everyone!

============================================

Hello Pocket Friends,

I sincerely apologize for back-to-back-to-back fundraising, but this month *seems* to have finally gotten the message into my brain that maybe waiting until the last second on these things is the wrong way to go about it.

Accordingly, I am going to attempt to do something that I'm.. not really sure I've *ever* done before: pay rent *before* the first of the month, instead of the last possible moment before late fees are assessed (or later.. 🙄)

While I truly wish we were able to accomplish this on our own, unfortunately we aren't yet in the position to do so; therefore despite the fact that we have just raised monumental sums of money for this month's rent and my car fiasco, I am trying to learn from these mistakes and be proactive by starting to begpost *now*, instead of in two weeks when it's already past the due date.

I understand and sympathize if you're getting begpost fatigue from us. I promise we're trying our best to get back on our feet. I want to be the one helping others, instead of always being the ones needing help.

Will that ever happen? I hope so. Dear god I hope so.

My dear Fedi friends, we can't thank you enough for keeping us going, for not giving up on us (even when we're ready to give up on ourselves), and for motivating us to become better, more compassionate people. We have a long, long ways to go but at least we're finally beginning that journey.

We are deeply grateful for everything you do for us, folks. We seriously couldn't make it without you. 🙏

If you're willing AND able, please boost and if possible donate. If you can't donate, *PLEASE DO NOT FEEL GUILTY* for being in the same boat as us. Your feelings about it are valid but rest assured you needn't feel bad.

Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
PP: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/gizmo1982
GFM: https://gofund.me/12171be3

#Solidarity #BPD #PTSD #Poverty #MentalIllness #MutualAid @mutualaid

FINAL UPDATE (for this fundraiser): We just shot past the finish line. Not only do we now have a functional, legal car, we have rent, we have enough to make the auto insurance payment for said car and the electric bill to boot!!!!!!!

My dear Fedi friends, thank you so very much for bearing with us as we strive to someday get our shit together. We are incredibly grateful. ❤️

UPDATE: We're two days from deadline, and we're getting very close to making goal, along with the anxiety-ridden executive paralysis. I would love it if we could get it covered by tomorrow so that if anything goes wrong with the second attempt at an emissions test on the car, I can have something *good* with which to distract myself.

I must admit sadly the current total isn't completely accurate because I had to use some of the funds to pay for the emissions test, gas to drive the car far enough for the emissions test to actually work (hopefully this time!!🤞) and food. I *think* my pay advance tomorrow will be enough to make up for the borrowed funds.

I am incredibly grateful to all of our Fedi friends who've pitched in. I'm thrilled that we've had a few more smaller donations than usual, because that eases the burden on the handful of insanely generous people who have shouldered the bulk of our needs!

I'm telling you folks, #MutualAid is literally the only reason my partner, our border collie and I are clothed, fed, and sheltered. I am not kidding when I say that it saves lives.

Gotta drive to work. Cross your fingers that I get there and back without being pulled over or the check engine light popping on!

============================================

Hi everyone,

For those of you who haven't followed my soap opera-like existence here on the Fediwebs, my partner, our co-dependent border collie and I have unfortunately had to rely on the community here to survive, thanks to our chronic mental health challenges.

I've also made several expensive financial mistakes lately trying to prioritize which of our ongoing monetary crises; the most simple of which is I felt embarrassed fundraising non-stop and procrastinated too long, costing us steep, unnecessary fees.

The total amount of the aforementioned fees was a bit of a slap in the face that seems to have finally gotten through my thick head.

So.. we owe $1210 at the time of this writing which is due by August 14th and instead of waiting until the last moment, for once I am being proactive and starting this right away.

My sincere apologies that we've had to constantly begpost lately.

My plan is to try and raise this as soon as possible and then move immediately to working on September's total and have that in place *before* the end of the month.

By that point, we're hoping and praying that my partner will have new employment by then that doesn't constantly trigger his PTSD, and/or I find a second job.. or potentially go back to school. Or something. (Onlyfans maybe? lol) Because things are clearly not fucking working as they are currently.

I know many (most) of you are understandably sick and tired of seeing our begposts. My friends, please don't give up on us yet. I swear we're trying our best, meager as those efforts may be.

If you're willing AND able, please boost and if possible donate. If you can't donate, *do NOT feel guilty* for being in the same boat as us. Your feelings about it are valid but rest assured you needn't feel bad.

Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
PP: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/gizmo1982
GFM: https://gofund.me/12171be3

#Solidarity #BPD #PTSD #Poverty #MentalIllness @mutualaid

UPDATE: Thanks to our kind and generous friends here on the Fediverse, we made this deadline! We still need to raise the remaining $1200 of our balance (of which is $400 in fees sadly because I am a damned fool) by the 14th, but this keeps us housed in the meantime.

Seriously, folks. Both me and my partner are in tears with relief. 🙏🙏

===========================================

ahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHahahahahahahahaAAAAAhhhaaaaAAAAaaahhhhhhhhAAAAAAAAAHH!

This week just keeps getting better and better!

So here's the latest from our housing fiasco: As my partner mentions in the post below,

https://beige.party/@g1m01982/117040329237563388

we've got to pay $800 towards our balance in the next four hours, and then the remaining balance by the 14th. ***If we don't, we lose this apartment per the lease agreement.*** I did not realize we had already progressed so far in the process already.

Everything we've scraped together puts us at $580, so we need another $220 to make it.

We really don't want to lose this place. We have adored it here. Halp.

Folks, I've made a series of very poor judgement calls in this (as usual) and am in some deep shit today. Any help we can get is urgently and deeply appreciated. 🙏

If you're willing AND able, please boost and if possible donate. If you can't donate, *do NOT feel guilty* for being in the same boat as us. Your feelings about it are valid but rest assured you needn't feel bad.

**Venmo is most ideal if that option is available to you; if

Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
PP: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/gizmo1982

#Solidarity #BPD #PTSD #Poverty #MentalIllness @mutualaid

FOURTH UPDATE: What the hell? I thought I updated this already. Must have hallucinated it. Anyway, we have received enough to get our account back into the positive, but we only have six hours until we're past due on rent and.. I'm afraid this is all still going to blow up in my face.

THIRD UPDATE: I should've just junked the car. Now we're royally fucked on rent (it's going to cost us $350+ in fees when we fail to pay in the next twelve hours) on top of our already $200 in the red balance thanks to overdraft fees because I'm a fucking moron.

SECOND UPDATE (for clarification):

**YES! We are still fundraising.** My apologies for the rambling, confusing nature of this post.

UPDATE (already lol):

My partner insists that it might be insulting to the person who lent us money, to directly fundraise on their behalf because they told my partner to keep it when they sent it. I'm not sure I entirely agree with my partner about this, but I'm deferring to his judgement and closing the prior fundraiser.

So to the incredibly kind soul who sent us that money, I will do as you ask, but on the proviso that you *MUST* let me if you encounter the slightest problem because of this, so that we can rally the Fediverse to come to your aid. I do *not* want to see others suffering because of my foolishness.

Thank you to that person, and every other person who has helped us. We couldn't make it without you. ❤️🙏❤️🙏❤️

============================================

Hello again folks,

Please forgive the audacity of me requesting even more help before we've even completely finished the four-figure auto repair fundraiser.

I screwed up.

I've gotten us in over our heads with a very serious bind. I̶ n̶e̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ r̶e̶t̶u̶r̶n̶ t̶h̶e̶ f̶u̶n̶d̶s̶ l̶e̶n̶t̶ t̶o̶ u̶s̶ f̶o̶r̶ t̶h̶e̶ c̶a̶r̶ b̶e̶f̶o̶r̶e̶ w̶e̶ c̶a̶n̶ e̶v̶e̶n̶ s̶t̶a̶r̶t̶ f̶o̶c̶u̶s̶i̶n̶g̶ o̶n̶ r̶e̶n̶t̶, s̶o̶ t̶h̶a̶t̶ I̶ d̶o̶n̶'t̶ c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ a̶ k̶i̶n̶d̶ f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶ f̶r̶o̶m̶ h̶e̶r̶e̶ o̶n̶ t̶h̶e̶ #̶F̶e̶d̶i̶v̶e̶r̶s̶e̶ t̶o̶ b̶e̶ i̶n̶ d̶a̶n̶g̶e̶r̶.

S̶o̶.. u̶n̶t̶i̶l̶ *̶t̶h̶a̶t̶*̶ d̶e̶b̶t̶ i̶s̶ t̶a̶k̶e̶n̶ c̶a̶r̶e̶ o̶f̶, t̶h̶i̶s̶ w̶i̶l̶l̶ s̶e̶r̶v̶e̶ a̶s̶ a̶ p̶l̶a̶c̶e̶h̶o̶l̶d̶e̶r̶. A̶n̶y̶ f̶u̶n̶d̶s̶ w̶e̶ r̶e̶c̶e̶i̶v̶e̶ w̶i̶l̶l̶ b̶e̶ a̶p̶p̶l̶i̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ *̶t̶h̶a̶t̶*̶ b̶e̶g̶p̶o̶s̶t̶ f̶o̶r̶ o̶u̶r̶ c̶a̶r̶, s̶o̶ p̶l̶e̶a̶s̶e̶ d̶o̶n̶'t̶ b̶e̶ a̶l̶a̶r̶m̶e̶d̶ i̶f̶ y̶o̶u̶ d̶o̶ d̶o̶n̶a̶t̶e̶ b̶e̶c̶a̶u̶s̶e̶ o̶f̶ t̶h̶i̶s̶ p̶o̶s̶t̶ b̶u̶t̶ t̶h̶e̶ C̶W̶ c̶o̶u̶n̶t̶e̶r̶ d̶o̶e̶s̶n̶'t̶ r̶e̶f̶l̶e̶c̶t̶ i̶t̶ -̶ i̶f̶ y̶o̶u̶ v̶i̶s̶i̶t̶ t̶h̶e̶ o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ f̶u̶n̶d̶r̶a̶i̶s̶e̶r̶ p̶i̶n̶n̶e̶d̶ p̶o̶s̶t̶, y̶o̶u̶'l̶l̶ s̶e̶e̶ t̶h̶e̶ u̶p̶d̶a̶t̶e̶d̶ n̶u̶m̶b̶e̶r̶s̶.

I apologize for having to do this so many times and for such huge amounts. I swear I'm trying my damnedest to not let everyone down.

There. The previous paragraph is the most I'm going to allow myself to self-deprecate in this post, despite me probably looking like a looney toons character that's about to explode, by restraining my own criticism.

Whelp.. I need to wrap this up so I can go pick up the car; that at least gives us an option if things go south regarding rent.

If you're willing AND able, please boost and if possible donate. If you can't donate, *do NOT feel guilty* for being in the same boat as us. Your feelings about it are valid but rest assured you needn't feel bad.

Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
PP: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/gizmo1982
GFM: https://gofund.me/12171be3

#Solidarity #BPD #PTSD #Poverty #MentalIllness @mutualaid

FOURTH (presumably final) UPDATE:

I still want to try and pay the back the person mentioned below if we can, but at the behest of my partner who insists that we follow the directive of the person mentioned below, we will focus on getting rent covered.

THIRD UPDATE:

Good news, everyone! A very kind soul from here on the Fediverse has loaned us enough that, combined with nearly every penny we have, I was able to just pay the mechanic bill over the phone and will be trekking on public transit later to pick it up.

HOWEVER, this risks putting them in a bind because this was their money earmarked for paying bills. This goes against my rule about not contributing to our fundraisers unless they can safely do so without risking their own circumstances and I loathe that I've had to put them in that position to cover my screwups.

**Long story short, I need to return $600 to them as quickly as possible. If anyone can help shoulder that burden at all, without causing *you* harm as well, I would greatly appreciate it.**

The total bill with taxes and fees came out to a painful $2,160, so I'm adjusting the goal and current progress to more accurately reflect where we're at on this.

I am insanely grateful for everyone's help, generosity and support. My partner and I literally can't survive without your assistance.

SECOND UPDATE:

Good morning pocket friends. We've made significant progress on this fundraiser and I'm hoping we can continue that momentum and prevent another disaster from occurring thanks to my stupid procrastination, because we're now about 24 hours away from the situation blowing up in my face. Thank you so much everyone for your help!!

UPDATE:

I spoke with the shop this morning. Total cost would end up being slightly over $2k because the charcoal canister has gone up in price from our quote a couple of months ago, however he is willing to slice some of the labor to bring it back to about $1800, if I give them the go ahead in the next two hours so he can get parts ordered.

I had hoped they might be able to just do a portion of the work so that we could apply for a waiver on the emissions certificate for this year, but as I sort of expected all the problems with the car are interconnected and desperately overdue for maintenance.

Also found out that the mysterious problem that made me keep the car parked for almost two months was due to the hose for the intake manifold had popped off, but I failed to ever consider just lifting the fucking hood to see what might be amiss. 🤦‍♂️

============================================

It's taking every last ounce of willpower I can summon to escape my depression and executive paralysis long enough to even type this. Believe it or not, this post is far *less* self-deprecating than what I would really *like* to say.

*deep breath*

Hi Folks,

Evidently I'm just not capable of being an adult. Instead of addressing crises promptly, I wait until they burst into a gargantuan bonfire. It's not an ideal habit.

I've known that I've needed to get this car fixed for months now. I've gotten three temporary extension permits and now have no recourse but to get the car to the shop *tomorrow* or it'll be a sitting duck waiting for the parking enforcement tow trucks to spring into action, and that would cost hundreds of dollars to bail my car out of jail.

While I've considered going car-free, we live in an area where having ones own vehicle is sort of a necessity.

Wtaf is wrong with me that I would think it acceptable to wait until the last twenty-four hours I'm legally able to move my car, to try and raise nearly two grand to fix said car?

🤦‍♂️ Why 🤦‍♂️ can't 🤦‍♂️ I 🤦‍♂️ get 🤦‍♂️ my 🤦‍♂️ shit 🤦‍♂️ together 🤦‍♂️ o 🤦‍♂️ m 🤦‍♂️ f 🤦‍♂️ g 🤦‍♂️

We have been in this apartment for eight months now and *still* can't manage to pay for rent without help, which I'm going to need to raise money for as soon as we finish *this* fundraiser. It's embarrassing that we still can't make it on our own.

*sigh*

I'm sorry.. I'm sort of at a loss for what else to say.

Mea culpa I guess.

If you're willing AND able, please boost and if possible donate. If you can't donate, *do NOT feel guilty* for being in the same boat as us. Your feelings about it are valid but rest assured you needn't feel bad.

Venmo: https://venmo.com/thegizmotwins
Cashapp: https://cash.app/$thegizmotwins
PP: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/gizmo1982
GFM: https://gofund.me/12171be3

#Solidarity #BPD #PTSD #Poverty #MentalIllness @mutualaid

Am I an ND guy with other mental illnesses? Yes. Does this mean(in my case), I'm hypersexual, my special interest is sex and I love fucking? Also yes. Gotta take the positives where you can find them😉

#ND #sex #hypersexual #fucking #mentalillness #BPD #plural #cptsd #mentalwellness #neurodivergent #focusonthegood #NSFW