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  1. CW: House Of Leaves, spoilers, cw for abstract discussion of suicide in the latter paragraphs and the song

    cw for abstract discussion of suicide in the latter paragraphs and the song
    So… Tom just retreated from the stairs, and that's where I left off before I had to get up, take my meds, and take a breather.
    The shadow puppets, the Pekinese dog. They make me think of Catch-22, of Snowden's Secret. I haven't read that book in about thirteen years, but I think about it a lot. I also thought of chapter 13 of A Scanner Darkly, where Donna goes into her self-justification, talking about Tony Amsterdam's door wreathed in sparks beyond which a nighttime scene, and about how it takes the utmost wisdom to use injustice to further justice. Even now that feels like dodging responsibility to me. I've never been religious, and am not inclined to believe there was ever a time, or layer of reality, where things meshed and worked and were right.
    Coming at it from outside Abrahamic religions, I have to look up every little thing, and am more likely to think of Shakespeare references ("There is no darkness but ignorance") than of Isaac's blindness, even after it's directly referenced. I don't really know how any of the followers of those religions actually (and differently) see messianic figures, error/sin/misstep, the world itself, scripture, Jacob, Esau, Isaac, Abraham, G-d, or for that matter quaaludes.
    It took me a while, but eventually I did figure out what the pervading feeling of this novel, esp. re: Johnny Truant, felt most like to me.
    Vic Chesnutt [1] adapted a Stevie Smith poem to song, a poem that I'm reasonably certain was about suicide.
    So, y'know, CW for that.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p994EMYQpPE
    Lyrics:
    Nobody heard him, the dead man,
    But still he lay moaning:
    I was much further out than you thought
    And not waving but drowning.

    Poor chap, he always loved larking
    And now he’s dead
    It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
    They said.

    Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
    (Still the dead one lay moaning)
    I was much too far out all my life
    And not waving but drowning.

    I get the same emotion from the shadow puppets, the one night stands, and whatever it is that haunts and follows Johnny Truant.
    I'm just gonna set aside for now the tentative conclusion that Zampanò was literally Jacob. There is so much to unpack there that I hardly know where to begin, mostly because I grew up an atheist in a new age neopagan household and was too autistic to completely absorb the vibes in our society, so a lot of Abrahamic religion, be it Christianity, Judaism, Islam, or other, is understood by me only in a very vague academic manner, like I was trying to figure out which of somewhat varied anatomical models best fits the particular frog I'm trying to identify by its entrails.
    And also there's a lot to talk about re: the Navidson Record, which is implicitly not a real thing, if (if) it's Zampanò using allegory to talk about gestures vaguely around everything. Especially re: Tom and . I do not yet feel qualified to talk about that either.
    So yeah, that's about where I'm at. But at least I'm starting to understand why this book has not brought me terror, but only occasional bouts of uncontrolled sobbing.

    1. It feels like it'd be an injustice not to state that Vic Chesnutt was to my knowledge an outspoken atheist.

    #house-of-leaves #mark-z.-danielewski #a-scanner-darkly #philip-k.-dick #johnny-truant #Zampanò #zampano #religion #vic-chesnutt #stevie-smith #not-waving-but-drowning
  2. CW: House Of Leaves, spoilers, cw for abstract discussion of suicide in the latter paragraphs and the song

    cw for abstract discussion of suicide in the latter paragraphs and the song
    So… Tom just retreated from the stairs, and that's where I left off before I had to get up, take my meds, and take a breather.
    The shadow puppets, the Pekinese dog. They make me think of Catch-22, of Snowden's Secret. I haven't read that book in about thirteen years, but I think about it a lot. I also thought of chapter 13 of A Scanner Darkly, where Donna goes into her self-justification, talking about Tony Amsterdam's door wreathed in sparks beyond which a nighttime scene, and about how it takes the utmost wisdom to use injustice to further justice. Even now that feels like dodging responsibility to me. I've never been religious, and am not inclined to believe there was ever a time, or layer of reality, where things meshed and worked and were right.
    Coming at it from outside Abrahamic religions, I have to look up every little thing, and am more likely to think of Shakespeare references ("There is no darkness but ignorance") than of Isaac's blindness, even after it's directly referenced. I don't really know how any of the followers of those religions actually (and differently) see messianic figures, error/sin/misstep, the world itself, scripture, Jacob, Esau, Isaac, Abraham, G-d, or for that matter quaaludes.
    It took me a while, but eventually I did figure out what the pervading feeling of this novel, esp. re: Johnny Truant, felt most like to me.
    Vic Chesnutt [1] adapted a Stevie Smith poem to song, a poem that I'm reasonably certain was about suicide.
    So, y'know, CW for that.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p994EMYQpPE
    Lyrics:
    Nobody heard him, the dead man,
    But still he lay moaning:
    I was much further out than you thought
    And not waving but drowning.

    Poor chap, he always loved larking
    And now he’s dead
    It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
    They said.

    Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
    (Still the dead one lay moaning)
    I was much too far out all my life
    And not waving but drowning.

    I get the same emotion from the shadow puppets, the one night stands, and whatever it is that haunts and follows Johnny Truant.
    I'm just gonna set aside for now the tentative conclusion that Zampanò was literally Jacob. There is so much to unpack there that I hardly know where to begin, mostly because I grew up an atheist in a new age neopagan household and was too autistic to completely absorb the vibes in our society, so a lot of Abrahamic religion, be it Christianity, Judaism, Islam, or other, is understood by me only in a very vague academic manner, like I was trying to figure out which of somewhat varied anatomical models best fits the particular frog I'm trying to identify by its entrails.
    And also there's a lot to talk about re: the Navidson Record, which is implicitly not a real thing, if (if) it's Zampanò using allegory to talk about gestures vaguely around everything. Especially re: Tom and . I do not yet feel qualified to talk about that either.
    So yeah, that's about where I'm at. But at least I'm starting to understand why this book has not brought me terror, but only occasional bouts of uncontrolled sobbing.

    1. It feels like it'd be an injustice not to state that Vic Chesnutt was to my knowledge an outspoken atheist.

    #house-of-leaves #mark-z.-danielewski #a-scanner-darkly #philip-k.-dick #johnny-truant #Zampanò #zampano #religion #vic-chesnutt #stevie-smith #not-waving-but-drowning
  3. CW: House Of Leaves, spoilers, cw for abstract discussion of suicide in the latter paragraphs and the song

    cw for abstract discussion of suicide in the latter paragraphs and the song
    So… Tom just retreated from the stairs, and that's where I left off before I had to get up, take my meds, and take a breather.
    The shadow puppets, the Pekinese dog. They make me think of Catch-22, of Snowden's Secret. I haven't read that book in about thirteen years, but I think about it a lot. I also thought of chapter 13 of A Scanner Darkly, where Donna goes into her self-justification, talking about Tony Amsterdam's door wreathed in sparks beyond which a nighttime scene, and about how it takes the utmost wisdom to use injustice to further justice. Even now that feels like dodging responsibility to me. I've never been religious, and am not inclined to believe there was ever a time, or layer of reality, where things meshed and worked and were right.
    Coming at it from outside Abrahamic religions, I have to look up every little thing, and am more likely to think of Shakespeare references ("There is no darkness but ignorance") than of Isaac's blindness, even after it's directly referenced. I don't really know how any of the followers of those religions actually (and differently) see messianic figures, error/sin/misstep, the world itself, scripture, Jacob, Esau, Isaac, Abraham, G-d, or for that matter quaaludes.
    It took me a while, but eventually I did figure out what the pervading feeling of this novel, esp. re: Johnny Truant, felt most like to me.
    Vic Chesnutt [1] adapted a Stevie Smith poem to song, a poem that I'm reasonably certain was about suicide.
    So, y'know, CW for that.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p994EMYQpPE
    Lyrics:
    Nobody heard him, the dead man,
    But still he lay moaning:
    I was much further out than you thought
    And not waving but drowning.

    Poor chap, he always loved larking
    And now he’s dead
    It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
    They said.

    Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
    (Still the dead one lay moaning)
    I was much too far out all my life
    And not waving but drowning.

    I get the same emotion from the shadow puppets, the one night stands, and whatever it is that haunts and follows Johnny Truant.
    I'm just gonna set aside for now the tentative conclusion that Zampanò was literally Jacob. There is so much to unpack there that I hardly know where to begin, mostly because I grew up an atheist in a new age neopagan household and was too autistic to completely absorb the vibes in our society, so a lot of Abrahamic religion, be it Christianity, Judaism, Islam, or other, is understood by me only in a very vague academic manner, like I was trying to figure out which of somewhat varied anatomical models best fits the particular frog I'm trying to identify by its entrails.
    And also there's a lot to talk about re: the Navidson Record, which is implicitly not a real thing, if (if) it's Zampanò using allegory to talk about gestures vaguely around everything. Especially re: Tom and . I do not yet feel qualified to talk about that either.
    So yeah, that's about where I'm at. But at least I'm starting to understand why this book has not brought me terror, but only occasional bouts of uncontrolled sobbing.

    1. It feels like it'd be an injustice not to state that Vic Chesnutt was to my knowledge an outspoken atheist.

    #house-of-leaves #mark-z.-danielewski #a-scanner-darkly #philip-k.-dick #johnny-truant #Zampanò #zampano #religion #vic-chesnutt #stevie-smith #not-waving-but-drowning
  4. A Scanner Darkly: la adaptación más fiel de Philip K. Dick con Keanu Reeves, Robert Downey Jr. y rotoscopía hipnótica. Vigilancia, drogas y pérdida de identidad.
    #AScannerDarkly #PhilipKDick #PletoraRed

    pletnet.io/a-scanner-darkly/?u

  5. A Scanner Darkly: la adaptación más fiel de Philip K. Dick con Keanu Reeves, Robert Downey Jr. y rotoscopía hipnótica. Vigilancia, drogas y pérdida de identidad.
    #AScannerDarkly #PhilipKDick #PletoraRed

    pletnet.io/a-scanner-darkly/?u

  6. Something big is definitely going down on this Mastodon instance. This rundown, rubble-filled instance with its deserted comments section and thousands of posts that never get read. What a waste of a truly good domain. So much could be done with it. A queer community could could live here. It was designed for that. Such a waste. They ought to confiscate it and put it to better use. I'm supposed to act like they aren't here. Assuming there's a "they" at all. It may just be my imagination.

    Whatever it is that's watching, it's not human, unlike little dark eyed Nicole, the Fediverse chick. It doesn't ever blink. What does a chatbot see? Into the head? Down into the heart? Does it see into me, into us? Clearly or darkly? I hope it sees clearly, because I can't any longer see into my notifications. I see only murk. I hope for everyone's sake the chatbots do better. Because if the chatbot sees only darkly, the way I do, then I'm cursed and cursed again. I'll only wind up with slop this way, saving very little, and getting that little hallucinated fragment wrong too.

    #llm #ai #slop #enshittification #FediverseChick #AScannerDarkly

  7. Something big is definitely going down on this Mastodon instance. This rundown, rubble-filled instance with its deserted comments section and thousands of posts that never get read. What a waste of a truly good domain. So much could be done with it. A queer community could could live here. It was designed for that. Such a waste. They ought to confiscate it and put it to better use. I'm supposed to act like they aren't here. Assuming there's a "they" at all. It may just be my imagination.

    Whatever it is that's watching, it's not human, unlike little dark eyed Nicole, the Fediverse chick. It doesn't ever blink. What does a chatbot see? Into the head? Down into the heart? Does it see into me, into us? Clearly or darkly? I hope it sees clearly, because I can't any longer see into my notifications. I see only murk. I hope for everyone's sake the chatbots do better. Because if the chatbot sees only darkly, the way I do, then I'm cursed and cursed again. I'll only wind up with slop this way, saving very little, and getting that little hallucinated fragment wrong too.

    #llm #ai #slop #enshittification #FediverseChick #AScannerDarkly

  8. Something big is definitely going down on this Mastodon instance. This rundown, rubble-filled instance with its deserted comments section and thousands of posts that never get read. What a waste of a truly good domain. So much could be done with it. A queer community could could live here. It was designed for that. Such a waste. They ought to confiscate it and put it to better use. I'm supposed to act like they aren't here. Assuming there's a "they" at all. It may just be my imagination.

    Whatever it is that's watching, it's not human, unlike little dark eyed Nicole, the Fediverse chick. It doesn't ever blink. What does a chatbot see? Into the head? Down into the heart? Does it see into me, into us? Clearly or darkly? I hope it sees clearly, because I can't any longer see into my notifications. I see only murk. I hope for everyone's sake the chatbots do better. Because if the chatbot sees only darkly, the way I do, then I'm cursed and cursed again. I'll only wind up with slop this way, saving very little, and getting that little hallucinated fragment wrong too.

    #llm #ai #slop #enshittification #FediverseChick #AScannerDarkly

  9. Something big is definitely going down on this Mastodon instance. This rundown, rubble-filled instance with its deserted comments section and thousands of posts that never get read. What a waste of a truly good domain. So much could be done with it. A queer community could could live here. It was designed for that. Such a waste. They ought to confiscate it and put it to better use. I'm supposed to act like they aren't here. Assuming there's a "they" at all. It may just be my imagination.

    Whatever it is that's watching, it's not human, unlike little dark eyed Nicole, the Fediverse chick. It doesn't ever blink. What does a chatbot see? Into the head? Down into the heart? Does it see into me, into us? Clearly or darkly? I hope it sees clearly, because I can't any longer see into my notifications. I see only murk. I hope for everyone's sake the chatbots do better. Because if the chatbot sees only darkly, the way I do, then I'm cursed and cursed again. I'll only wind up with slop this way, saving very little, and getting that little hallucinated fragment wrong too.

    #llm #ai #slop #enshittification #FediverseChick #AScannerDarkly

  10. Something big is definitely going down on this Mastodon instance. This rundown, rubble-filled instance with its deserted comments section and thousands of posts that never get read. What a waste of a truly good domain. So much could be done with it. A queer community could could live here. It was designed for that. Such a waste. They ought to confiscate it and put it to better use. I'm supposed to act like they aren't here. Assuming there's a "they" at all. It may just be my imagination.

    Whatever it is that's watching, it's not human, unlike little dark eyed Nicole, the Fediverse chick. It doesn't ever blink. What does a chatbot see? Into the head? Down into the heart? Does it see into me, into us? Clearly or darkly? I hope it sees clearly, because I can't any longer see into my notifications. I see only murk. I hope for everyone's sake the chatbots do better. Because if the chatbot sees only darkly, the way I do, then I'm cursed and cursed again. I'll only wind up with slop this way, saving very little, and getting that little hallucinated fragment wrong too.

    #llm #ai #slop #enshittification #FediverseChick #AScannerDarkly

  11. If you wear a shirt like this, AI doesn’t recognise you as a person. 😳

    #AScannerDarkly anyone?

    #39c3 #ai #surveillance

  12. If you wear a shirt like this, AI doesn’t recognise you as a person. 😳

    #AScannerDarkly anyone?

    #39c3 #ai #surveillance

  13. If you wear a shirt like this, AI doesn’t recognise you as a person. 😳

    #AScannerDarkly anyone?

    #39c3 #ai #surveillance

  14. If you wear a shirt like this, AI doesn’t recognise you as a person. 😳

    #AScannerDarkly anyone?

    #39c3 #ai #surveillance

  15. 𝐀ctrice 𝐝𝐮 𝐉our

    𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐑𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐫
    Actrice Productrice Américaine Née en 1971

    𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐑𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐫 c'est plus de 50 Films

    #WinonaRyder #ActriceDuJour #actress #actrice #cinegenres
    #film #cinema #Beetlejuice #Heathers #EdwardAuxMainsDargent
    #Dracula #AlienResurrection #MrDeeds #Simone #AScannerDarkly
    #TheIceman #Homefront

    𝐅ilmographie :
    youtube.com/watch?v=xYQS8o3UWaU

  16. 𝐀ctrice 𝐝𝐮 𝐉our

    𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐑𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐫
    Actrice Productrice Américaine Née en 1971

    𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐑𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐫 c'est plus de 50 Films

    #WinonaRyder #ActriceDuJour #actress #actrice #cinegenres
    #film #cinema #Beetlejuice #Heathers #EdwardAuxMainsDargent
    #Dracula #AlienResurrection #MrDeeds #Simone #AScannerDarkly
    #TheIceman #Homefront

    𝐅ilmographie :
    youtube.com/watch?v=xYQS8o3UWaU

  17. 𝐀ctrice 𝐝𝐮 𝐉our

    𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐑𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐫
    Actrice Productrice Américaine Née en 1971

    𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐑𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐫 c'est plus de 50 Films

    #WinonaRyder #ActriceDuJour #actress #actrice #cinegenres
    #film #cinema #Beetlejuice #Heathers #EdwardAuxMainsDargent
    #Dracula #AlienResurrection #MrDeeds #Simone #AScannerDarkly
    #TheIceman #Homefront

    𝐅ilmographie :
    youtube.com/watch?v=xYQS8o3UWaU

  18. 𝐀ctrice 𝐝𝐮 𝐉our

    𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐑𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐫
    Actrice Productrice Américaine Née en 1971

    𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐚 𝐑𝐲𝐝𝐞𝐫 c'est plus de 50 Films

    #WinonaRyder #ActriceDuJour #actress #actrice #cinegenres
    #film #cinema #Beetlejuice #Heathers #EdwardAuxMainsDargent
    #Dracula #AlienResurrection #MrDeeds #Simone #AScannerDarkly
    #TheIceman #Homefront

    𝐅ilmographie :
    youtube.com/watch?v=xYQS8o3UWaU

  19. The Projector Room Podcast 190 –  A 2001 K-PAX Oddity

    On this show, We're Dazed and Confused - but not on Speed, grab ourselves a Cliffhanger with Superman, off to planet K-Pax to apply a Scanner Darkly t

    garethmyles.com/the-projector-

    #2001

  20. Now watching:

    'A Scanner Darkly'

    - directed by Richard Linklater
    - written by Richard Linklater, Philip K. Dick (Novel)
    -
    - with Keanu Reeves, Robert Downey Jr., Woody Harrelson, Winona Ryder, Rory Cochrane, Mitch Baker, Sean Allen, Cliff Haby, Steven Chester Prince, Natasha Valdez, Mark Turner, Chamblee Ferguson...

    #ascannerdarkly #richardlinklater #philipkdick- #nowwatching #firstwatch - #cinema #cinemastodon #film #filmastodon #movies #moviesmastodon - #cyberpunk - #letterboxd #trakt

  21. Now watching:

    'A Scanner Darkly'

    - directed by Richard Linklater
    - written by Richard Linklater, Philip K. Dick (Novel)
    -
    - with Keanu Reeves, Robert Downey Jr., Woody Harrelson, Winona Ryder, Rory Cochrane, Mitch Baker, Sean Allen, Cliff Haby, Steven Chester Prince, Natasha Valdez, Mark Turner, Chamblee Ferguson...

    #ascannerdarkly #richardlinklater #philipkdick- #nowwatching #firstwatch - #cinema #cinemastodon #film #filmastodon #movies #moviesmastodon - #cyberpunk - #letterboxd #trakt

  22. Now watching:

    'A Scanner Darkly'

    - directed by Richard Linklater
    - written by Richard Linklater, Philip K. Dick (Novel)
    -
    - with Keanu Reeves, Robert Downey Jr., Woody Harrelson, Winona Ryder, Rory Cochrane, Mitch Baker, Sean Allen, Cliff Haby, Steven Chester Prince, Natasha Valdez, Mark Turner, Chamblee Ferguson...

    #ascannerdarkly #richardlinklater #philipkdick- #nowwatching #firstwatch - #cinema #cinemastodon #film #filmastodon #movies #moviesmastodon - #cyberpunk - #letterboxd #trakt

  23. Now watching:

    'A Scanner Darkly'

    - directed by Richard Linklater
    - written by Richard Linklater, Philip K. Dick (Novel)
    -
    - with Keanu Reeves, Robert Downey Jr., Woody Harrelson, Winona Ryder, Rory Cochrane, Mitch Baker, Sean Allen, Cliff Haby, Steven Chester Prince, Natasha Valdez, Mark Turner, Chamblee Ferguson...

    #ascannerdarkly #richardlinklater #philipkdick- #nowwatching #firstwatch - #cinema #cinemastodon #film #filmastodon #movies #moviesmastodon - #cyberpunk - #letterboxd #trakt

  24. Now watching:

    'A Scanner Darkly'

    - directed by Richard Linklater
    - written by Richard Linklater, Philip K. Dick (Novel)
    -
    - with Keanu Reeves, Robert Downey Jr., Woody Harrelson, Winona Ryder, Rory Cochrane, Mitch Baker, Sean Allen, Cliff Haby, Steven Chester Prince, Natasha Valdez, Mark Turner, Chamblee Ferguson...

    #ascannerdarkly #richardlinklater #philipkdick- #nowwatching #firstwatch - #cinema #cinemastodon #film #filmastodon #movies #moviesmastodon - #cyberpunk - #letterboxd #trakt