#fixatopunishes — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #fixatopunishes, aggregated by home.social.
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CW: Pun: what do you get when you set Dracula on fire?
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CW: Pun: a telecopied piece of historical interest
An artefax
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Tonight you'll be visited by three spirits; don't drink them all at once.
#FiXatoPUNishes #pun #puns #alcohol #alc #liquor #christmasSpirit
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CW: Lewd: phrases you might hear in the bedroom or the cinema
- "god, yours is salty!"
- "want some jelly, baby?"
- "it looked more exciting in the preview"
Inspired by https://youtube.com/shorts/a6Lbiwhn9Sk
#FiXatoPUNishes #puns #lewd #bedroomPhrases #FiXatoCommentsOn
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"Plenty of fish in the sea; just gotta look for a sole, mate."
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CW: Pun: this vaccine for asses makes you want to fight windmills
A donkey shot.
(And yes, I'm aware that's not how #DonQuixote is supposed to be pronounced.)
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CW: Dutch pun: wat zegt de Brabantse straatvechter Ryu wanneer zijn beste vriend vertrekt?
Houdoe Ken!
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If you are stuck in a game, try to hatch a dragon to get out.
I call it the egg-sit strategy.
#FiXatoPUNishes #pun #puns #punDay -
CW: horror pun
I awoke in an ice bath, with several organs missing.
"Organised! I said I wanted to be more organised! Not organ-iced!" -
CW: Pun: this word allows a sword swallower to continue after his act
pass-sword
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CW: Pun: why was the long-haired Viking sad on his birthday?
He had to sell-a-braid
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CW: Pun: Deliberately weakening governments with Ozzy Osbourne and Dio's music
BLACK SABBⒶTHAGE
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CW: Pun: when you don't have a lot of sweet and sour preserved veggies to choose from, it's:
slim picklings
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CW: Pun: Thor protects the bottom line
he's part of the ass guard
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CW: Pun: the most popular answer to all questions on this show is "your mother"
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Someone kept asking me for the time...
so I clocked him
#pun #puns #FiXatoPUNishes #punDay -
CW: pun: Mountains are so great...
I can't seem to get over them
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CW: Pun: if you have a big decision to make, why is it good to have made up your mind before the end of Monday?
Because the next day will be a choose-day.
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Friend spotted
tomatoes falling
Couldn't ketchup#SixWordStories #FiXatoWrites #FiXatoPUNishes #FiXatoCreative #pun #puns #PunDay
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What do you get when you mashup #TonyDanza with relaxed samba?
Who's the Bossa Nova -
CW: Pun: A farmer had 297 cows out in the field, when he got them back to the stables, he had 300. What did he do?
He rounded them up.
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I fried an RS-232 port; does that make me a serial killer?
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CW: pun: a country that gets a lot of flour mixed with water given is a...
dough nation
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Inspired by my "Hail Butts" halibut pun (https://toot.cat/@FiXato/110699148766310533) I quickly drew this #wordArt of one using my Winsor & Newton alcohol markers.
#HailButts #butts #halibut #pun #puns #FiXatoPUNishes #FiXatoDraws #FiXatoCreative
#mastoArt #fediArt #artShare #creativeToot #creativeToots -
Why call it a backstab, when you can call it buttrayal?
#FiXatoPUNishes #FiXatoCreative #FiXatoWrites #pun #puns #wordplay
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CW: Pun: what would Porky Pig's title be if he'd grown up on Gallifrey?
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When your grocery bag splits open at the end of the road, you could say it was a moment of cull-the-sack.
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CW: pun, drugs reference
Why did the methamphetamine addict go to the theatre?
...
He heard they were looking for methhead actors.
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CW: Pun: why do you want Ents to improve your game's storage access speeds?
They excel at #interleaving.
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Instead of missiles, why don't we have hit-iles?
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CW: Pun: how do you make holy water?
You take a pot of water, and boil the hell out of it.