#actuallyautistics — Public Fediverse posts

Are there any writers here who are autistic? How do you handle something that you don't understand or can't relate to?

My challenge is, there are so many things I can't grasp because of the way my brain works. For example, I see in novels and TV series/drama that a person loses focus when they hear a very bad news (like their health).

However, in my case, at least from my experiences of hearing bad news, I never once lost focus; instead, I am more focus on listening to the expert (like a doctor). I'm more attentive because in my mind, that's the only way forward.

So, if I want to write a character, I end up with something monotone or too generic. It is not realistic for most people, but it is for me.

Or say, a character who obviously shouldn't do something but they still do it anyway. I'm trying to understand why so I can develop the character, but I'm failing in it.

How do you handle it? Do you have a collection of examples, or watch something and put what you've watched into words?

Thank you!

@autistics @actuallyautistic

#Autistics #ActuallyAutistics #AskingAutistics

Are there any writers here who are autistic? How do you handle something that you don't understand or can't relate to?

My challenge is, there are so many things I can't grasp because of the way my brain works. For example, I see in novels and TV series/drama that a person loses focus when they hear a very bad news (like their health).

However, in my case, at least from my experiences of hearing bad news, I never once lost focus; instead, I am more focus on listening to the expert (like a doctor). I'm more attentive because in my mind, that's the only way forward.

So, if I want to write a character, I end up with something monotone or too generic. It is not realistic for most people, but it is for me.

Or say, a character who obviously shouldn't do something but they still do it anyway. I'm trying to understand why so I can develop the character, but I'm failing in it.

How do you handle it? Do you have a collection of examples, or watch something and put what you've watched into words?

Thank you!

@autistics @actuallyautistic

#Autistics #ActuallyAutistics #AskingAutistics

Do you have an #autistic child?

As an autistic myself, there are some things I should have tried but did not have the courage to do so.

Thus, my personal advice, is to _encourage_ your autistic (and NT) children to give it a try. Don't shield them because you “love them a lot”. Once they grow up, like in my experience, they will secretly always think, “I should've done this and that and see what happened, and maybe my life would be better”.

Here are some in my case:
* Voice acting. Our teachers, my classmates, and later work colleagues, have always said I can do well in reading. They feel the emotions and get immersed in the story.

That's how far I did it. Today, I'm thinking, I should've taken a voice acting lesson, and maybe work as a voice actor.

* Physical labour. I'm not choosy when it comes to job, especially at my current age, a job is a job. (As long as it isn't a crime and immoral, of course.) Sadly, I was shielded from it because they “love me so much and don't want me to go through what they went through in life”.

The result of that wasn't good at all. I got stuck in office and BPO for a long time, and now it is so hard to move careers. My heart is in service and “people watching”, and to this day, it is so hard to get into a hotel-type of work. They either want you to have graduated in Business Administration or Hotel & Restaurant Management courses; or can carry a 30 kg baggage. Both of which I don't have.

I had to take B.S. Mathematics and Computer Science because, well, that's what they told me… office work.

You see, your “love” and not wanting your children to go through what you went through, can be detrimental for your children. It's fine to shield them, but it is also very easy for that shielding to limit your children's future.

This is especially important for us autistics who are already experiencing discrimination at work, and prejudice against hiring an autistic.

Instead of overprotecting your children, work with them. Identify what they want and see what can be done with it. If what they want would lead to “disaster” then nudge them gently to better options. Options, plural, not “what you want”.

There are autistics who can join the workforce, and in various capacities. Encourage us and guide us, but don't be overprotective and showing only one path. It might look good at that point in time, but how about the future?

#Autistics #ActuallyAutistics #ActuallyAutistic #OpenlyAutistic #Autism #AutismSpectrum #AutismAcceptanceMonth #WorldAutismAcceptance #AutismAcceptance

@autistics @actuallyautistic

Do you have an #autistic child?

As an autistic myself, there are some things I should have tried but did not have the courage to do so.

Thus, my personal advice, is to _encourage_ your autistic (and NT) children to give it a try. Don't shield them because you “love them a lot”. Once they grow up, like in my experience, they will secretly always think, “I should've done this and that and see what happened, and maybe my life would be better”.

Here are some in my case:
* Voice acting. Our teachers, my classmates, and later work colleagues, have always said I can do well in reading. They feel the emotions and get immersed in the story.

That's how far I did it. Today, I'm thinking, I should've taken a voice acting lesson, and maybe work as a voice actor.

* Physical labour. I'm not choosy when it comes to job, especially at my current age, a job is a job. (As long as it isn't a crime and immoral, of course.) Sadly, I was shielded from it because they “love me so much and don't want me to go through what they went through in life”.

The result of that wasn't good at all. I got stuck in office and BPO for a long time, and now it is so hard to move careers. My heart is in service and “people watching”, and to this day, it is so hard to get into a hotel-type of work. They either want you to have graduated in Business Administration or Hotel & Restaurant Management courses; or can carry a 30 kg baggage. Both of which I don't have.

I had to take B.S. Mathematics and Computer Science because, well, that's what they told me… office work.

You see, your “love” and not wanting your children to go through what you went through, can be detrimental for your children. It's fine to shield them, but it is also very easy for that shielding to limit your children's future.

This is especially important for us autistics who are already experiencing discrimination at work, and prejudice against hiring an autistic.

Instead of overprotecting your children, work with them. Identify what they want and see what can be done with it. If what they want would lead to “disaster” then nudge them gently to better options. Options, plural, not “what you want”.

There are autistics who can join the workforce, and in various capacities. Encourage us and guide us, but don't be overprotective and showing only one path. It might look good at that point in time, but how about the future?

#Autistics #ActuallyAutistics #ActuallyAutistic #OpenlyAutistic #Autism #AutismSpectrum #AutismAcceptanceMonth #WorldAutismAcceptance #AutismAcceptance

@autistics @actuallyautistic

@nddev @benjamincox @EVDHmn @Shufei @actuallyautistic

Watch it first, don't skip nor drop.

You mentioned, you've only watched the first episode? In Episode 3, IIRC, it was a case about another #Autistic, and she explained to her co-workers that #Autism is a spectrum.

If you judge it by its cover, you'll miss the objective of the show. They cannot possibly pack everything in a single episode. 😉

Secondly. An autistic like her does exist. It is not exaggerated. You are just different from her. 🙂 Saying she's exaggerated is indirectly telling those like her as "you're exaggerating". Think about it.

Third. Many #ActuallyAutistics approved of that show far more than most other shows (#TV and #Movies) about autism.

Fourth. The show also exposed and brought to the surface, the many discrimination, stereotypes, and prejudice, the autistic community faces daily. Even in the realm of romance.

The thing about EAW is that, the audience reaction during its run compliments the show.

For example, when EAW touched on romance, there were audiences who showed their true colours with comments like "people with mental disability should not enter into a relationship nor have kids, they'll only spread their disease", etc.

That kind of people were the target of the show, and the show made them reveal their true colours.

Fifth. The show changed lives. Not everyone, obviously, but it did. Like mine.

I used to mask a lot. I used to hide that I am autistic. But because of EAW, it gave me courage to stand against discrimination, stereotypes, and prejudices; as well as, to be #OpenlyAutistic. It was helpful for my mental health and identity.

I am NOT saying that those who chose to still mask are not doing anything to fight the prejudice. NO. It is a personal matter, and it depends on where you are and your culture. For me, the reason I was masking a lot was because I'm tired of the discrimination. I grew up thinking "something is wrong with me" and "this is the way to do things to be accepted by society".

So, me going open is a fight against the wrong things I personally experienced. It is deeply personal.

Conclusion: Was EAW perfect?

Of course it isn't. However, based on the number of productions I've seen "about autistics" and where "autistic characters were included just for the sake of including", EAW was the best so far.

The actress herself was a psychology graduate. She initially did not want to take on the role because she's fully aware how important it is to get it right, and it is impossible to appeal to autistics, after all, autism is a spectrum. There will always be "that's not how I am" or "that's not how my relative is".

They made her character a mix of various autistic characteristics. In the latter episodes, they even depicted a meltdown and shutdown, and she did a very good job. I highly applauded her for that scene.

Anyway. 😉

@autistics

@nddev @benjamincox @EVDHmn @Shufei @actuallyautistic

Watch it first, don't skip nor drop.

You mentioned, you've only watched the first episode? In Episode 3, IIRC, it was a case about another #Autistic, and she explained to her co-workers that #Autism is a spectrum.

If you judge it by its cover, you'll miss the objective of the show. They cannot possibly pack everything in a single episode. 😉

Secondly. An autistic like her does exist. It is not exaggerated. You are just different from her. 🙂 Saying she's exaggerated is indirectly telling those like her as "you're exaggerating". Think about it.

Third. Many #ActuallyAutistics approved of that show far more than most other shows (#TV and #Movies) about autism.

Fourth. The show also exposed and brought to the surface, the many discrimination, stereotypes, and prejudice, the autistic community faces daily. Even in the realm of romance.

The thing about EAW is that, the audience reaction during its run compliments the show.

For example, when EAW touched on romance, there were audiences who showed their true colours with comments like "people with mental disability should not enter into a relationship nor have kids, they'll only spread their disease", etc.

That kind of people were the target of the show, and the show made them reveal their true colours.

Fifth. The show changed lives. Not everyone, obviously, but it did. Like mine.

I used to mask a lot. I used to hide that I am autistic. But because of EAW, it gave me courage to stand against discrimination, stereotypes, and prejudices; as well as, to be #OpenlyAutistic. It was helpful for my mental health and identity.

I am NOT saying that those who chose to still mask are not doing anything to fight the prejudice. NO. It is a personal matter, and it depends on where you are and your culture. For me, the reason I was masking a lot was because I'm tired of the discrimination. I grew up thinking "something is wrong with me" and "this is the way to do things to be accepted by society".

So, me going open is a fight against the wrong things I personally experienced. It is deeply personal.

Conclusion: Was EAW perfect?

Of course it isn't. However, based on the number of productions I've seen "about autistics" and where "autistic characters were included just for the sake of including", EAW was the best so far.

The actress herself was a psychology graduate. She initially did not want to take on the role because she's fully aware how important it is to get it right, and it is impossible to appeal to autistics, after all, autism is a spectrum. There will always be "that's not how I am" or "that's not how my relative is".

They made her character a mix of various autistic characteristics. In the latter episodes, they even depicted a meltdown and shutdown, and she did a very good job. I highly applauded her for that scene.

Anyway. 😉

@autistics

It gets ask oftentimes why an #Autistic person would choose not getting an official diagnosis.

Some clarification first:
* “Official diagnosis” = recorded in your file (which also reflects in your government record, usually).
* “Unofficial diagnosis” = not recorded in your file
* “Self diagnosis” = self-diagnosis, which typically take years of study before the person comes up with their final self diagnosis.

Now back to the topic.

A common reason is: to have an option to not disclose it. Consider the following:
* There are countries which won't allow a visitor (regardless of purpose), or a migrant, to enter without declaring someone already living there; or without a companion.
* Jobs. While some countries require companies to have at least 1% of their workforce to be from the PWD community, they won't pick an autistic person. (Note: this is a job where the autistic person is safe, and qualified.)

Generally, if your diagnosis is “official” (it was placed on record), and a situation arises where you are obligated to declare your health and disability, you have no choice but to disclose.

But if your diagnosis is “unofficial” (not on record), then you have an option not to disclose. No record = no record. (Of course, some will find a way to justify that “you know it and you still did not disclose it”. Though ironically, if there was no incident, they won't even acknowledge your disclosure.)

There are also disadvantages to it, like not enjoying government and NGO support. For example, in the #Philippines, you'll enjoy tax deductions (income tax) and discounts (public transportation, cinema, grocery, and so on).

So, yes, please remember that #ActuallyAutistics who chose to have their formal diagnosis as “unofficial”, they chose to have an option to not disclose. Not only that, they potentially sacrificed any benefits and support they might need later. (Don't forget, diagnosis is also expensive in many countries and still they chose not to put it on record.)

Bottom-line, don't dismiss, don't laugh, don't discriminate against #Autistics who decided to have an “unofficial diagnosis” and “self diagnosis”. They have their reasons, you more likely than not are not aware of. Reasons that probably doesn't exist in your country, but an issue in theirs.

For example, mine is “unofficial”. Other than the reasons I listed above, there is another important reason: family. There are family members from their generation where they'll be devastated if someone's “officially” recorded as PWD psychologically. (Ironic, one of them I suspect to be autistic as well.)

As an #Asian, the #family unit is very indispensable for us. I'd rather make the sacrifice because I know I won't pass this way of thinking to the next generation. (Trust me, there are times when I want to afford the benefits stated in our law for PWDs.)

#ActuallyAutistic @autistics @actuallyautistic

It gets ask oftentimes why an #Autistic person would choose not getting an official diagnosis.

Some clarification first:
* “Official diagnosis” = recorded in your file (which also reflects in your government record, usually).
* “Unofficial diagnosis” = not recorded in your file
* “Self diagnosis” = self-diagnosis, which typically take years of study before the person comes up with their final self diagnosis.

Now back to the topic.

A common reason is: to have an option to not disclose it. Consider the following:
* There are countries which won't allow a visitor (regardless of purpose), or a migrant, to enter without declaring someone already living there; or without a companion.
* Jobs. While some countries require companies to have at least 1% of their workforce to be from the PWD community, they won't pick an autistic person. (Note: this is a job where the autistic person is safe, and qualified.)

Generally, if your diagnosis is “official” (it was placed on record), and a situation arises where you are obligated to declare your health and disability, you have no choice but to disclose.

But if your diagnosis is “unofficial” (not on record), then you have an option not to disclose. No record = no record. (Of course, some will find a way to justify that “you know it and you still did not disclose it”. Though ironically, if there was no incident, they won't even acknowledge your disclosure.)

There are also disadvantages to it, like not enjoying government and NGO support. For example, in the #Philippines, you'll enjoy tax deductions (income tax) and discounts (public transportation, cinema, grocery, and so on).

So, yes, please remember that #ActuallyAutistics who chose to have their formal diagnosis as “unofficial”, they chose to have an option to not disclose. Not only that, they potentially sacrificed any benefits and support they might need later. (Don't forget, diagnosis is also expensive in many countries and still they chose not to put it on record.)

Bottom-line, don't dismiss, don't laugh, don't discriminate against #Autistics who decided to have an “unofficial diagnosis” and “self diagnosis”. They have their reasons, you more likely than not are not aware of. Reasons that probably doesn't exist in your country, but an issue in theirs.

For example, mine is “unofficial”. Other than the reasons I listed above, there is another important reason: family. There are family members from their generation where they'll be devastated if someone's “officially” recorded as PWD psychologically. (Ironic, one of them I suspect to be autistic as well.)

As an #Asian, the #family unit is very indispensable for us. I'd rather make the sacrifice because I know I won't pass this way of thinking to the next generation. (Trust me, there are times when I want to afford the benefits stated in our law for PWDs.)

#ActuallyAutistic @autistics @actuallyautistic