#peoplepleasing — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #peoplepleasing, aggregated by home.social.
-
#PeoplePleasing when you're #neurodivergent...
Sometimes a response to complex, prolonged trauma. Sometimes part of #masking in an attempt to reduce #RSD or #autistic #anxiety "in the moment". It's essentially a panic reaction (or so it seems to me), and is probably the result of years of harsh judgement from NTs.
I did it my whole life but didn't realise until I read Pete Walker's book on #CPTSD (I have other issues with that book but it helped me at the time).
It's insidious and damaging. You often don't realise you're doing it. You risk losing your own identity and becoming just a reflection of others. And, of course, attempting to please everyone is simply impossible and you end up making even fewer people happy than before - and you'll almost certainly be unhappy yourself.
It's good to sense the currents (if *everyone* seems to have the same view of your actions, you should perhaps at least try to work out why), but reacting to every rock dropped in the water is just playing whack-a-mole with yourself - or letting others play whack-a-mole with you.
Long post... but I see people trying to change tack as a result of one instance of negative feedback, making themselves miserable in the process, and all my years of pain make it a massive trigger for me so I can't keep quiet.
In summary:
"To thine own self be true"
- Someone, I forget who. Shakespeare? Obi-wan Kenobi? I'm sure someone will know.
-
#PeoplePleasing when you're #neurodivergent...
Sometimes a response to complex, prolonged trauma. Sometimes part of #masking in an attempt to reduce #RSD or #autistic #anxiety "in the moment". It's essentially a panic reaction (or so it seems to me), and is probably the result of years of harsh judgement from NTs.
I did it my whole life but didn't realise until I read Pete Walker's book on #CPTSD (I have other issues with that book but it helped me at the time).
It's insidious and damaging. You often don't realise you're doing it. You risk losing your own identity and becoming just a reflection of others. And, of course, attempting to please everyone is simply impossible and you end up making even fewer people happy than before - and you'll almost certainly be unhappy yourself.
It's good to sense the currents (if *everyone* seems to have the same view of your actions, you should perhaps at least try to work out why), but reacting to every rock dropped in the water is just playing whack-a-mole with yourself - or letting others play whack-a-mole with you.
Long post... but I see people trying to change tack as a result of one instance of negative feedback, making themselves miserable in the process, and all my years of pain make it a massive trigger for me so I can't keep quiet.
In summary:
"To thine own self be true"
- Someone, I forget who. Shakespeare? Obi-wan Kenobi? I'm sure someone will know.
-
Shut Down Your Inner Critic: Build Real Confidence Without Caring What “They” Think
https://wp.me/p84YjG-9ZY
#QuietConfidence #Overthinking #SelfGaslighting #InnerCritic #zsoltzsemba #Anxiety #Confidence #PeoplePleasing #MindsetShift # #SocialAnxietyFix #AuthenticLivinghttps://zsoltzsemba.com/build-real-confidence-without-caring-what-they-think/
-
Stop Saying Yes When You Mean No People pleasing doesn’t make you kind—it makes you exhausted. Reclaim your voice, set boundaries, and protect your glow. 💫 Read the full guide at Voguegenics. #PeoplePleasing #GlowUpGuide #EmotionalWellness #BoundariesMatter #EmpowermentJourney #StopTheBurnout
-
It's Better to Be True to Yourself and Lose Some People, Than to Lose Yourself Trying to Please Everyone. #BeTrueToYourself #SelfAcceptance #PersonalIntegrity #AuthenticLiving #PeoplePleasing #TrueIdentity #SelfWorth
-
It's Better to Be True to Yourself and Lose Some People, Than to Lose Yourself Trying to Please Everyone. #BeTrueToYourself #SelfAcceptance #PersonalIntegrity #AuthenticLiving #PeoplePleasing #TrueIdentity #SelfWorth