#autismacceptance — Public Fediverse posts on home.social

dominicdelagol2 @[email protected] · 2026-04-05 · 06:42 UTC

Happy Easter from Mrs. Eddant! #autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #autismacceptance #autismacceptancemonth #mrseddant #bunnyears #red #redinstead #oc #originalcharacter #seaside #easter #rainbowinfinity

Check out my comic, Element Eon: https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/117533349

#autism #autistic #actuallyautistic #autismacceptance #autismacceptancemonth #mrseddant

Bobbi L. Newman @[email protected] · 2026-04-03 · 14:58 UTC

Autism Acceptance, Belonging, and Inclusion at Work Is Just Good Workplace Design

April is Autism Acceptance Month. Creating workspaces that are inclusive and welcoming for everyone, including neurodiverse staff, is an important part of workplace well-being.

We tend to treat autism acceptance, and neurodiversity more broadly, as something separate from the rest of our work. It becomes a program, a training, or a hiring initiative. Something we add on rather than something we build into how work functions. But when you look at what meaningful acceptance requires, it starts to look a lot like good communication practice in general. It looks like clear expectations, thoughtful communication, flexibility, and environments that make it easier for people to do their jobs. Clear is kind.

When we talk about autism acceptance, we often focus on awareness or understanding. Those things matter, but they are only a starting point. Creating spaces that are inclusive and welcoming is the goal. Acceptance shows up in how we design and work on a daily basis. It shows up in job descriptions that are clear about expectations, in structured interviews that reduce guesswork, and in communication practices that don’t rely entirely on verbal exchanges or implicit norms. It shows up in giving people advance notice of changes whenever possible, and in creating workspaces that reduce unnecessary sensory strain. And knowing what things are most likely to cause sensory strain – lighting, noise, air quality, etc. It also shows up in flexibility, both in how work gets done and in recognizing that people may approach tasks differently and still be highly effective. All of that matches the research around what makes healthy workplaces, including the physical space and policies.

None of these changes are particularly radical, and they benefit everyone at work. The same practices that support autistic employees also make work more accessible, consistent, and sustainable for everyone. This is something we see again and again when we talk about workplace design more broadly: when we remove unnecessary barriers, more people are able to do their best work. (Universal design, anyone?)

But just like other aspects of workplace wellbeing, we tend to shift responsibility to the individual. We tell people to be more resilient, to communicate more clearly, to manage their time better, or to engage in more self-care. At the same time, we don’t address or change the underlying issues in place – unclear expectations, constantly shifting priorities, environments that are noisy or distracting, and workflows that depend on interruption and urgency.

If the environment requires people to navigate ambiguity, sensory overload, and inconsistent communication just to function, then the issue is not that some employees need accommodations. The issue is that the workplace has been designed in a way that creates unnecessary barriers.

For autistic employees, that kind of environment can be especially challenging. More broadly, it undermines psychological safety for everyone. Teams function better when expectations are clear, communication is direct, and people feel comfortable expressing concerns or asking for clarification. That is about being more intentional in how we support one another’s work.

It is also important to be clear about what we mean when we talk about supporting autistic employees. The goal is not to help individuals adapt to a system that was not designed with them in mind. The goal is to design systems that allow more people to succeed. When expectations are clear, people make fewer mistakes. When communication improves, collaboration improves for everyone. When environments reduce unnecessary strain, everyone has more capacity to focus and engage in their work. When flexibility is built into the system, retention and job satisfaction improve for everyone.

These are organizational outcomes, not individual accommodations.

If we hire neurodiverse employees without addressing culture, policies, and practices, we are not creating inclusion. We are asking people to navigate the same barriers that existed before, often with the expectation that they will find ways to manage them on their own. Hiring is only one step, and it is not the most difficult one. The more challenging work is examining how decisions are made, how communication happens, how physical and virtual spaces are structured, and what people are expected to manage as part of their day-to-day work.

Where to Start

If this feels like a lot, start with one thing.

Write expectations down instead of relying on verbal instructions.
Be explicit, do not rely on implication or assumed understanding.
Build more predictability into schedules.
Take a close look at how meetings are structured.
Create a quiet space for staff, even if it’s small.
Ask your team what actually helps them do their work.

Creating a work environment that goes beyond autism acceptance to belonging and inclusion at work is not separate from workplace well-being. It is one way of understanding whether our workplaces are functioning in ways that support the people in them. When we design workplaces that support autistic employees, we are also creating environments that are clearer, more flexible, and more sustainable for everyone.

P.S. If you’re an autistic or neurodiverse librarian consider submitting a presentation about creating a welcoming workplace for autistic and/or neurodiverse staff to ThriveLib, a virtual conference created for librarians, library managers, and library workers who are ready to reimagine what well-being looks like in their professional lives.

References and Suggested Readings

Alissa. (2021, February 20). Libraries are for everyone! Except if you’re autistic. Cataloguing the Universe. https://lissertations.net/post/1626

Anderson, A. (2018). Employment and Neurodiverse Librarians. STEMPS Faculty Publications, 82. https://digitalcommons.odu.edu/stemps_fac_pubs/82

Anderson, A. (2021). Job Seeking and Daily Workforce Experiences of Autistic Librarians. The International Journal of Information, Diversity, & Inclusion, 5(3), 38–63.

Anderson, A. (2022, September 26). Researcher’s Corner: At the intersection of autism and libraries. Hiring Librarians. https://hiringlibrarians.com/2022/09/26/researchers-corner-at-the-intersection-of-autism-and-libraries/

Anderson, A. M. (2021a). Exploring the workforce experiences of autistic librarians through accessible and participatory approaches. Library & Information Science Research, 43(2), 101088. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.lisr.2021.101088

Autism Career Pathways 501c3 (Director). (2020, February 10). Lauren the Autistic Librarian [Video recording]. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zglfZn5bak

Bastian, R. (2023, October 23). Tips For Supporting Neurodiversity In The Workplace. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/rebekahbastian/2019/10/23/tips-for-supporting-neurodiversity-in-the-workplace/

Camp, C., & Finlay, D. J. (2025). The experiences of neurodivergent Library and Information Science [LIS] professionals working in academic libraries – a case study. The Journal of Academic Librarianship, 51(5), 103115. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.acalib.2025.103115

Cohen, R. A., Cooke, P., Holt, M., Lounsberry, M., Roga, E., Farrell, K. S., & Squires, J. (2025). Autistic librarians in the academic library hiring process. College & Research Libraries, 86(5), 705.

Commissioner, O. of the. (2023). Be Aware of Potentially Dangerous Products and Therapies that Claim to Treat Autism. FDA. https://www.fda.gov/consumers/consumer-updates/be-aware-potentially-dangerous-products-and-therapies-claim-treat-autism

Contributor, G. (2017b, April 16). Perspectives of an Autistic Children’s Librarian. ALSC Blog. https://www.alsc.ala.org/blog/2017/04/perspective-autistic-childrens-librarian/

Doyle, N. (2019, November 24). Ableism In The Workplace: When Trying Harder Doesn’t Work. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/drnancydoyle/2019/11/24/ableism-in-the-workplace-when-trying-harder-doesnt-work/

Emily. (2012, June 29). Further Questions: Would You Hire a Person Who Has an Autistic Spectrum Disorder For a Reference Librarian Position? Hiring Librarians. https://hiringlibrarians.com/2012/06/29/further-questions-would-you-hire-a-person-who-has-an-autistic-spectrum-disorder-for-a-reference-librarian-position/

Eng, A. (2017). Neurodiversity in the Library: One Librarian’s Experience. In the Library with the Lead Pipe. https://www.inthelibrarywiththeleadpipe.org/2017/neurodiversity-in-the-library/

Finn, J. (2023, September 16). Two Librarians Fired Over Autism-Awareness Display, Because Rainbow. Prism & Pen. https://medium.com/prismnpen/two-librarians-fired-over-autism-awareness-display-because-rainbow-c8b3fbd2c916

Furr, P. (2023, March 7). Why It’s Important To Embrace Neurodiversity In The Workplace (And How To Do It Effectively). Forbes. Retrieved April 25, 2024, from https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesbusinesscouncil/2023/03/07/why-its-important-to-embrace-neurodiversity-in-the-workplace-and-how-to-do-it-effectively/

Gainey, K. (2023, September 20). What Is Social Skills Training & How Is It Used? Choosing Therapy. https://www.choosingtherapy.com/social-skills-training/

Geraghty, T. (2024, July 26). Psychological safety and neurodiversity. Psych Safety. https://psychsafety.com/psychological-safety-and-neurodiversity/

Giles-Smith, L., & Popowich, E. (2023). Autistic employees in Canadian academic libraries: Barriers, opportunities, and ways forward. Canadian Journal of Academic Librarianship, 9, 1–22.

Haire, A. (2025). What Does It Mean to Be Information Literate for an Autistic Librarian in the Academic Library Workplace?. Journal of Information Literacy, 19(1), 27–47.

Howard, J. (2022, December 14). It’s Important to Create Psychological Safety for Autistic Professionals. https://www.inclusionhub.com/articles/create-psychological-safety-for-autistic-professionals

Inc, G. (2025, April 25). Neurodiverse Workers: Hidden Challenges, Untapped Potential. Gallup.Com. https://www.gallup.com/workplace/659618/neurodiverse-workers-hidden-challenges-untapped-potential.aspx

Is Your Workplace Neurodivergent Competent? (2022, September 20). Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/health/neurodiversity-in-the-workplace

jrose. (2022, October 31). Neurodiversity and Libraries. Liblime. https://liblime.com/2022/10/31/neurodiversity-and-libraries/

Juarez, A. H. (Host). (2025, May 30). Cultivating an Inclusive Workplace for Neurodivergent Staff with Renee Grassi (No. 174) [Broadcast]. https://libraryleadershippodcast.com/174-cultivating-an-inclusive-workplace-for-neurodivergent-staff-with-renee-grassi/

Louise Taylor. (2022, January 11). Communication Styles, Counseling, and Neurodiversity. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-neurodivergent-therapist/202201/communication-styles-counseling-and-neurodiversity

Ludmila Praslova. (2022, April 24). Workplace bullying of autistic people: A Vicious cycle. Specialisterne. https://us.specialisterne.com/workplace-bullying-of-autistic-people-a-vicious-cycle/

Ludmila Praslova. (2022, February 1). Moral Injury at Work and Neurodiversity: Are there Additional Risk Factors? Specialisterne. https://ca.specialisterne.com/moral-injury-at-work-and-neurodiversity-are-there-additional-risk-factors/

Maddock, K. (n.d.). To what extent are autistic library staff in the UK supported in their workplace?

Maxwell, L. (2022, July 25). Being an Autistic School Librarian. BOOK RIOT. https://bookriot.com/being-an-autistic-school-librarian/

Motti, S. W., Niloofar Kalantari, Vivian. (2024, April 24). Neurodiversity inclusion starts with the job interview. Fast Company. https://www.fastcompany.com/91111139/neurodiversity-inclusion-starts-with-the-job-interview

Nasland, R., Dudheker, S., & Dudheker, R. N. and S. (2023, July 20). Designing for Neurodiversity in the Workplace. Work Design Magazine. https://www.workdesign.com/2023/07/designing-for-neurodiversity-in-the-workplace/

Neurodiversity in the Library: One Librarian’s Experience – In the Library with the Lead Pipe. (n.d.). Retrieved May 24, 2022, from https://www.inthelibrarywiththeleadpipe.org/2017/neurodiversity-in-the-library/

Neurodiversity Resources For Students—Neurodiversity Hub<br/>. (n.d.). Neurodiversity Hub. Retrieved April 3, 2026, from https://www.neurodiversityhub.org/training1

Newman, B. L. (2024, April 26). Supporting Neurodiversity in the Library Workplace. Librarian by Day. https://librarianbyday.net/2024/04/26/supporting-neurodiversity-in-the-library-workplace/

Praslova, L. N. (2022, June 21). An Intersectional Approach to Inclusion at Work. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2022/06/an-intersectional-approach-to-inclusion-at-work

Rosa, S. D. R. (2018, September 14). What Is Light Sensitivity Like for One Autistic? Thinking Person’s Guide to Autism. http://www.thinkingautismguide.com/2018/09/what-is-light-sensitivity-like-for-one.html

Smith, S. (n.d.). Training & Resource Center. Autism Society. Retrieved April 3, 2026, from https://autismsociety.org/training-resource-center/

Southey, S., Morris, R., Nicholas, D., & Pilatzke, M. (2024). Autistic perspectives on employment: A scoping review. Journal of Occupational Rehabilitation, 34(4), 756–769.

Staff, L. (2026, April 2). Autism Librarian. Autism Librarian. https://autismlibrarian.wordpress.com/

Steinemann, A. (2019). Ten questions concerning fragrance-free policies and indoor environments. Building and Environment, 159, 106054. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.buildenv.2019.03.052

The Association of Southeastern Research Libraries (ASERL) (Director). (2024, February 29). Library Accessibility Alliance (LAA) Webinar: Transforming Librarianship to Model Neuroinclusion in Libraries [Video recording]. https://vimeo.com/918005788

Torres, A. (n.d.). Neurodiversity at Work Playbook: Employee Engagement & Growth Series. Disability:IN. Retrieved April 4, 2025, from https://disabilityin.org/resource/neurodiversity-at-work-playbook-employee-engagement-growth-series/

Training Autistic Employees—Hire Autism. (2022, January 5). https://www.hireautism.org/resource-center/training-autistic-employees/

Tumlin, Z. (2019). “This Is a Quiet Library, Except When It’s Not:” On the Lack of Neurodiversity Awareness in Librarianship. Music Reference Services Quarterly, 22(1–2), 3–17. https://doi.org/10.1080/10588167.2019.1575017

#autism #autismAcceptance #autismAcceptanceMonth #Librarians #Libraries #neurodiverseWorkplace #neurodiversity

#autism #autismacceptance #autismacceptancemonth #librarians #libraries #neurodiverseworkplace

Heather Cook🖖Autistic Coach @[email protected] · 2026-03-09 · 16:45 UTC

The story we've been told about autism is incomplete. 💙 I'm available for media appearances and interviews to talk about what autism actually looks like in adults — and what a world that genuinely includes and values autistic people could look like. Let's have a real conversation.
https://www.autismchrysalis.com/speaking-interviews/

#AutismAcceptance #ActuallyAutistic #NeurodiversityMovement #AutisticAdults #Neurodiversity #PublicSpeaker #AutismAwareness

#autismacceptance #actuallyautistic #neurodiversitymovement #autisticadults #neurodiversity #publicspeaker

Heather Cook🖖Autistic Coach @[email protected] · 2026-03-04 · 18:01 UTC

April is coming — and so is an important conversation. The narrative around autism is changing — and I want to be part of that conversation. I'm available for media appearances and interviews.
https://www.autismchrysalis.com/speaking-interviews/

#AutismAcceptance #ActuallyAutistic #NeurodiversityMovement #AutisticAdults #Neurodiversity #PublicSpeaker #AutismAwareness

#autismacceptance #actuallyautistic #neurodiversitymovement #autisticadults #neurodiversity #publicspeaker

dominicdelagol2 @[email protected] · 2025-10-30 · 07:29 UTC

I'm always happy and proud to be autistic!
Pane, Mrs. Eddant, Caesium, Mercury, Iridium and Technetium are all proud to be autistic!
#originalcharacter #autism #autistic #caesium #greenhair #infinity #iridium #mercury #oc #pane #periodictable #pride #red #technetium #hydrargyrum #neurodivergent #actuallyautistic #autismacceptance #autisticpride #redinstead #lightitupred #rainbowinfinity #auctober #eddant #mrseddant #auctober2025

#redinstead #lightitupred #rainbowinfinity #auctober #eddant #mrseddant

dominicdelagol2 @[email protected] · 2025-10-23 · 08:13 UTC

In this neurotypical society, anything can happen, and going outside at all is scary enough as is trying to keep yourself together.
More info: https://www.deviantart.com/dominicdelagol2/art/The-Outside-World-Auctober-2025-1255700786
#originalcharacter #autism #autistic #human #infinity #mom #mother #oc #pane #red #neurodivergent #actuallyautistic #autismacceptance #godara #redinstead #lightitupred #rainbowinfinity #auctober #eddant #mrsgodara #mrseddant #auctober2025

#originalcharacter #autism #autistic #human #infinity #mom

dominicdelagol2 @[email protected] · 2025-10-18 · 08:39 UTC

Careful with what words come out of your mouth. Even you could misinterpret it as literal.
More info: https://www.deviantart.com/dominicdelagol2/art/Taking-It-Literally-Auctober-2025-1253911749
#originalcharacter #autism #autistic #infinity #literally #oc #red #neurodivergent #actuallyautistic #autismacceptance #auctober #eddant #mrseddant #auctober2025

#originalcharacter #autism #autistic #infinity #literally #oc

dominicdelagol2 @[email protected] · 2025-10-16 · 08:21 UTC

Autistic people are more likely to be LGBTQIA+!
Mrs. Eddant is a lesbian and Mercury is asexual!
#originalcharacter #asexual #autism #autistic #infinity #lesbian #lgbtq #mercury #oc #periodictable #red #transrights #lgbtqia #neurodivergent #actuallyautistic #autismacceptance #lgbtqiaplus #redinstead #lightitupred #rainbowinfinity #auctober #eddant #mrseddant #auctober2025

#originalcharacter #asexual #autism #autistic #infinity #lesbian

Jon Bernys @[email protected] · 2025-05-02 · 01:36 UTC

I am hosting a race and documentary to spread awareness against ABA in November.

https://www.facebook.com/share/1AMm2J8A49/

#AntiABA #EndABA #ABAReform #StopABA #Neurodiversity #ActuallyAutistic #AutisticVoices #ListenToAutistics #DisabilityRights #AutismAdvocacy #SayNoToABA #AutismAcceptance #ABAisAbuse
#AutisticJustice #AutisticRights #AutismEducation #AutismAwareness #HumanRights #AutismRevolution #StopTheHarm #BanABA #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs #AutisticCommunity #Neurodivergent #DisabilityJustice

#antiaba #endaba #abareform #stopaba #neurodiversity #actuallyautistic

Jon Bernys @[email protected] · 2025-04-13 · 15:55 UTC

Benevolent Ableism is a very real growing problem around ABA and it's infringing of autism/human rights these days....

#AntiABA #EndABA #ABAReform #StopABA #Neurodiversity #ActuallyAutistic #AutisticVoices #ListenToAutistics #DisabilityRights #AutismAdvocacy #SayNoToABA #AutismAcceptance #ABAisAbuse #BoycottABA
#AutisticJustice #AutisticRights #AutismEducation #AutismAwareness #HumanRights #AutismRevolution #StopTheHarm #BanABA #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs #AutisticCommunity #Neurodivergent

#antiaba #endaba #abareform #stopaba #neurodiversity #actuallyautistic

Rachel W. @[email protected] · 2025-03-29 · 01:26 UTC

All of this.
#AutisticCommunity #actuallyautistic #neurodiversity #neurodiverse #autismacceptance

#autisticcommunity #actuallyautistic #neurodiversity #neurodiverse #autismacceptance

4Xsample @[email protected] · 2025-03-28 · 21:14 UTC

El Món en Pausa: Quan la Pandèmia em Va Donar Permís per Existir

El primer dia de confinament, el silenci va arribar com una benedicció. Des de casa meva, vaig veure com els carrers s’esbufegaven, com si el món hagués aguantat la respiració durant dècades i finalment pogués exhalar. Els cotxes es van convertir en escultures de metall estàtiques, els veïns en ombres darrere finestres, i jo, per primera vegada en quaranta anys, em vaig sentir invisible. I va ser meravellós.

Durant setmanes, ningú em va demanar que fos algú que no era. No vaig haver de somriure per tranquil·litzar clients nerviosos, ni de forçar una veu amable mentre explicava els avantatges d’un nou mòbil o les clàusules d’un pla telefònic. El telèfon de la feina va deixar de vibrar, les reunions es van esvair com suor a la roca, i el món es va reduir a quatre parets, un sofà i el soroll dels vidres del balcó tremolant amb el vent.

Al principi, em va costar creure-ho. Des de petit, m’havien ensenyat que la vida era un teatre: jo, l’actor secundari que mai surt als crèdits, però manté l’escena en marxa. Aprendre el guió va ser fàcil. Els diàlegs “Com estàs?”, “Què tal tot?”, “Hem de quedar per fer un cafè!” els tenia memoritzats des dels dotze anys, quan vaig descobrir que un somriure fals podia evitar preguntes incòmodes. Però el preu… Ah, el preu. Cada dia, després de tancar la botiga, em quedava assegut al cotxe durant mitja hora, mirant el volant, mentre el meu cervell es desinflava com un globus.

La pandèmia va ser el tallafoc que mai m’havia permès posar. De cop, ja no era el “Jordi eficient”, el “Jordi sempre disponible”. Era només jo, un home en pijama, amb una tassa de te ja freda a la mà i una llista de sèries que mai acabava. Les nits ja no eren un preludi de l’estrès del matí: eren hores llargues i quietes, plenes de llibres oblidats i de música que escoltava amb els ulls tancats. Fins i tot el soroll dels aplaudiments als balcons, aquell intent col·lectiu de normalitat, em semblava una bufetada de realitat suau, com una tovallola humida llançada amb cura per no fer mal.

I, enmig d’aquella quietud, vaig trobar una excusa per fer alguna cosa que sempre havia volgut: comprar-me una impressora 3D.
Durant anys, l’havia ruminat com un caprici absurd, “Per què?” em deia, però la pandèmia em va donar una raó. Vaig començar imprimint viseres amb pantalles per als metges del CAP de Palafrugell, després suports per a mascaretes que alleugerissin les orelles dels infermers, i mil coses més que compartíem en grups de voluntaris a través de Telegram i que em van mantenir ocupat les nits senceres. La màquina sorollosa i aparatosa es va convertir en una estranya companyia: no em demanava converses, ni somriures, ni disculpes. Només filament i donar-li temps.

Cada setmana, un home de Protecció Civil trucava al timbre per recollir el material. Jo deixava les bosses al portal i l’observava des de l’entrada mentre ho carregava tot al cotxe. No vam intercanviar paraules, però quan es va girar per mirar-me i va fer un gest d’agraïment amb el cap, em vaig sentir útil per primera vegada en anys. No ho feia per rebre reconeixement de cap mena. Era només jo, la meva impressora, i un món que necessitava al personal sanitari més que mai i que aquest no tenia les eines per afrontar el que ens venia a tots a sobre.

També vaig trobar alguna cosa més: un racó del món on no havia de ser ningú. Un vespre, mentre la impressora xiulava com una cadernera èbria, vaig crear un servidor de Discord. Un espai buit amb un nom tan poc original com vaig poder, un grapat de canals de veu i de text on podíem anar deixant coses, amb el temps, es va omplir de veus. Gent que havia anat consegüent per xarxes, en jocs o en fòrums perduts. Alguns entraven i marxaven sense més ni més; d’altres es quedaven.

Eren veus darrere pseudònims, perfils amb noms estranys impossibles de pronunciar. Gent que, com jo, buscava un lloc on existir sense màscares. De tant en tant ens quedàvem xerrant fins que tornava a sortir el sol, i ells em van ensenyar el que mai no havia après en quaranta anys, els silencis còmodes existeixen. Connectàvem per jugar, per parlar de qualsevol cosa o de res, o simplement per deixar-nos obert el micròfon mentre fèiem vida per casa. De vegades, desapareixia sense avís. L’endemà, ningú em preguntava per què. Era un acord no escrit: tots tenim dies en què les paraules pesen massa.

Alguns van passar del online al offline: Alguna barbacoa mentre els gossos ens miraven amb curiositat, un dinar sorpresa per Cap d’Any; un altre em va enviar per correu una samarreta de l’R2D2. D’altres romanen en l’anonimat, veus sense rostre que em recorden que no sóc l’únic que lluita per respirar en un món de pressió.

Llavors va passar alguna cosa estranya, vaig començar a respirar. No em refereixo a poder amagar-me rere mascaretes o evitar aglomeracions. Em refereixo a una sensació física, com si hagués estat nedant contra corrent tota la vida i, de sobte, l’aigua s’hagués aturat. Els dies s’allargaven sense pressa, i jo, per primera vegada, tenia temps de notar coses: el tacte rugós de les rajoles sota els peus nus a la terrassa, l’olor de pa torrat que pujava des del forn, el ronronejar de la Blanqueta (la matriarca de la colònia de gats que viu al meu pati) mentre s’enrotllava al costat dels gossos, La Bruixa i en Cooper, que dormien sota el sol com guardians tranquils.

I ningú em jutjava. Ningú em deia “Jordi, has engreixat” o “Jordi, fa temps que no se’t veu el pèl”. La solitud es va convertir en una manta gruixuda que em protegia del fred que mai m’havia adonat que existia.

Avui encara recordo aquell abril de 2020 com un somni. Un somni estrany en què el món s’havia aturat per dir-me: “Està bé. No cal que corris”. Però els somnis s’acaben, i el món va tornar a girar, més ràpid que mai, com si volgués recuperar el temps perdut. El problema és que jo no vaig poder seguir-lo.

Quan van tornar a obrir les portes de la botiga, vaig intentar encaixar de nou. “Anem a poc a poc”, em deia, mentre m’ajustava el penjoll amb el nom com si fos una corda al coll. Els meus caps em recordaven amb somriures forçats que “necessitem recuperar vendes, Jordi, cal que els clients tornin a connectar”. Connectar. La paraula em cremava la llengua. Jo ja no sabia què era això. Durant mesos, havia viscut sense màscares (ni de tela ni de teatre), i ara, cada “Hola, què necessites?” sonava com una mentida tallada amb motlle. La màscara que havia dut des de petit, aquella que em permetia ser el venedor afable, el col·lega eficient, s’havia esmicolat en el silenci del confinament. I el que quedava era el pes buit d’un paper que ja no podia representar.

Els clients entraven, sortien, i jo repetia els mateixos guions com un autòmata. Però les preguntes innocents “Com estàs?” em creaven nusos a l’estómac. Abans, responia amb un “Bé, i tu?” automàtic. Ara, cada paraula era una pedra que havia de treure del fang dels dies sense pressa, dels matins en què ningú em demanava res. I el fang pesava. Pesava més que totes les targetes de crèdit que havia passat per la terminal, més que els telèfons exposats a les vitrines, més que les hores mortes esperant que algú entrés per la porta.

I així va arribar el final. No com una explosió, sinó com una fuga lenta. Les paraules “Bon dia, en què puc ajudar-lo?” em van sonar com un dialecte oblidat. Tornava a casa cada nit més cremat, amb el cap ple de xifres de vendes i riures forçats que em ressonaven com campanes trencades. Però hi tornava. Hi tornava perquè els rebuts no s’omplien sols, perquè els gossos necessitaven pinso, perquè el món exigeix monedes per deixar-te respirar.

Fins que un vespre, abans de tancar, el meu cap em va venir a veure. La seva veu sonava a enregistrament: “No ets tu, és la situació”. L’acomiadament va arribar amb un sobre blanc i una firma robòtica. I jo, en lloc de plorar o cridar, vaig notar una cosa estranya sota l’angoixa: alleujament.

El camí de tornada a casa va ser una contradicció de passos. El cor em deia que havia fracassat; el cervell, que per fi podia deixar de fingir. Els gossos van venir a rebre’m com sempre, sense preguntes, i els gats del jardí es van fregar contra les meves cames com si res hagués canviat. Però tot havia canviat. Havia perdut una feina, sí, però també havia perdut una cadena.

Aquell primer mes, una nit, mentre les factures s’aplegaven a la taula com acusadors silenciosos, vaig escoltar el Ronronejar de la Blanqueta i vaig entendre una cosa:
A vegades, alliberar-se te un preu, un preu que no se com podre seguir pagant, de moment vaig trampejant com puc fent cosetes aquí i allà, però que haig de trobar la manera de no renunciar a aquesta llibertat.

Ara, mentre escric això des del meu sofà (el mateix del 2020, més enfonsat, però igual d’acollidor), sé que molts em veuen com un fracassat. Un home divorciat, sense feina, sense xarxes socials plenes de vídeos de brunchs, sense plans de cap de setmana. Però ells no saben que, per primera vegada, sóc lliure.

No és perfecte ni de lluny. La majoria de dies l’ansietat em colpeja com un puny, i nits en què el silenci pesa massa. Però també hi ha moments de claredat: quan alimento la Blanqueta i els altres gats del jardí com l’Ullets, la Tita, el Pelut, etc, i em miro en els seus ulls verds, indiferents a les meves crisis; quan sento el vent del balcó i recordo que, durant uns mesos meravellosos, el món em va donar permís per existir tal com sóc.

Ara, cada nit, torno a aquell racó de veus que no em demanen res. Connecto, poso els auriculars, i deixo que el murmuri del servidor m’emboliqui com una manta. Hi ha rialles, discussions sobre qualsevol tonteria, i pauses llargues on només se sent com tecleja algú que treballa o juga en segon pla. De vegades, quan la boira mental torna, abaixo el volum i em quedo escoltant-los com qui escolta la pluja des de sota un paraigua. I quan desconnecto, sé que demà hi tornaran. Sense preguntes, sense “per què no vas dir res?”, sense “què ha passat?”.

És el poc contacte que necessito. Un lloc on tots entenem que, a vegades, el millor que pots fer pels altres és ser-hi, sense exigir ni ser exigit, un grapat de veus rere pseudònims impossibles, amb noms reals al darrere que tots coneixem, però que no fem servir.

Els gossos ronquen als meus peus, els gats s’estiren als coixins, i jo torno a sentir-me com aquell home del 2020. I encara que el món insisteixi a dir el contrari, jo sé la veritat:
Vaig estar més viu quan tot es va aturar.

#Aïllament #Asperger #AutismAcceptance #Autisme #ExperiènciaPersonal #MentalHealthAwareness #Neurodivergència #Pandemia #Reflexió #Resilience #SalutMental