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CW: Fedi meta
no wait im on wafrn. I need to use the power of tags
#According-to-all-known-laws-of-aviation #there-is-no-way-a-bee-should-be-able-to-fly.-Its-wings-are-too-small-to-get-its-fat-little-body-off-the-ground.-The-bee #of-course #flies-anyway-because-bees-don't-care-what-humans-think-is-impossible.-Yellow #black.-Yellow #black.-Yellow #black.-Yellow #black.-Ooh #black-and-yellow!-Let's-shake-it-up-a-little.-Barry!-Breakfast-is-ready!-Coming!-Hang-on-a-second.-Hello?-Barry?-Adam?-Can-you-believe-this-is-happening?-I-can't.-I'll-pick-you-up.-Looking-sharp.-Use-the-stairs #Your-father-paid-good-money-for-those.-Sorry.-I'm-excited.-Here's-the-graduate.-We're-very-proud-of-you #son.-A-perfect-report-card #all-B's.-Very-proud.-Ma!-I-got-a-thing-going-here.-You-got-lint-on-your-fuzz.-Ow!-That's-me!-Wave-to-us!-We'll-be-in-row-118 #000.-Bye!-Barry #I-told-you #stop-flying-in-the-house!-Hey #Adam.-Hey #Barry.-Is-that-fuzz-gel?-A-little.-Special-day #graduation.-Never-thought-I'd-make-it.-Three-days-grade-school #three-days-high-school.-Those-were-awkward.-Three-days-college.-I'm-glad-I-took-a-day-and-hitchhiked-around-The-Hive.-You-did-come-back-different.-Hi #Barry.-Artie #growing-a-mustache?-Looks-good.-Hear-about-Frankie?-Yeah.-You-going-to-the-funeral?-No #I'm-not-going.-Everybody-knows #sting-someone #you-die.-Don't-waste-it-on-a-squirrel.-Such-a-hothead.-I-guess-he-could-have-just-gotten-out-of-the-way.-I-love-this-incorporating-an-amusement-park-into-our-day.-That's-why-we-don't-need-vacations.-Boy #quite-a-bit-of-pomp-under-the-circumstances.-Well #Adam #today-we-are-men.-We-are!-Bee-men.-Amen!-Hallelujah!-Students #faculty #distinguished-bees #please-welcome-Dean-Buzzwell.-Welcome #New-Hive-City-graduating-class-of-9:15.-That-concludes-our-ceremonies-And-begins-your-career-at-Honex-Industries!-Will-we-pick-our-job-today?-I-heard-it's-just-orientation.-Heads-up!-Here-we-go.-Keep-your-hands-and-antennas-inside-the-tram-at-all-times.-Wonder-what-it'll-be-like?-A-little-scary.-Welcome-to-Honex #a-division-of-Honesco-and-a-part-of-the-Hexagon-Group.-This-is-it!-Wow.-Wow.-We-know-that-you #as-a-bee #have-worked-your-whole-life-to-get-to-the-point-where-you-can-work-for-your-whole-life.-Honey-begins-when-our-valiant-Pollen-Jocks-bring-the-nectar-to-The-Hive.-Our-top-secret-formula-is-automatically-color-corrected #scent-adjusted-and-bubble-contoured-into-this-soothing-sweet-syrup-with-its-distinctive-golden-glow-you-know-as...-Honey!-That-girl-was-hot.-She's-my-cousin!-She-is?-Yes #we're-all-cousins.-Right.-You're-right.-At-Honex #we-constantly-strive-to-improve-every-aspect-of-bee-existence.-These-bees-are-stress-testing-a-new-helmet-technology.-What-do-you-think-he-makes?-Not-enough.-Here-we-have-our-latest-advancement #the-Krelman.-What-does-that-do?-Catches-that-little-strand-of-honey-that-hangs-after-you-pour-it.-Saves-us-millions.-Can-anyone-work-on-the-Krelman?-Of-course.-Most-bee-jobs-are-small-ones.-But-bees-know-that-every-small-job #if-it's-done-well #means-a-lot.-But-choose-carefully-because-you'll-stay-in-the-job-you-pick-for-the-rest-of-your-life.-The-same-job-the-rest-of-your-life?-I-didn't-know-that.-What's-the-difference?-You'll-be-happy-to-know-that-bees #as-a-species #haven't-had-one-day-off-in-27-million-years.-So-you'll-just-work-us-to-death?-We'll-sure-try.-Wow!-That-blew-my-mind!-'What's-the-difference?'-How-can-you-say-that?-One-job-forever?-That's-an-insane-choice-to-have-to-make.-I'm-relieved.-Now-we-only-have-to-make-one-decision-in-life.-But #Adam #how-could-they-never-have-told-us-that?-Why-would-you-question-anything?-We're-bees.-We're-the-most-perfectly-functioning-society-on-Earth.-You-ever-think-maybe-things-work-a-little-too-well-here?-Like-what?-Give-me-one-example.-I-don't-know.-But-you-know-what-I'm-talking-about.-Please-clear-the-gate.-Royal-Nectar-Force-on-approach.-Wait-a-second.-Check-it-out.-Hey #those-are-Pollen-Jocks!-Wow.-I've-never-seen-them-this-close.-They-know-what-it's-like-outside-The-Hive.-Yeah #but-some-don't-come-back.-Hey #Jocks!-Hi #Jocks!-You-guys-did-great!-You're-monsters!-You're-sky-freaks!-I-love-it!-I-love-it!-I-wonder-where-they-were.-I-don't-know.-Their-day's-not-planned.-Outside-The-Hive #flying-who-knows-where #doing-who-knows-what.-You-can't-just-decide-to-be-a-Pollen-Jock.-You-have-to-be-bred-for-that.-Right.-Look.-That's-more-pollen-than-you-and-I-will-see-in-a-lifetime.-It's-just-a-status-symbol.-Bees-make-too-much-of-it.-Perhaps.-Unless-you're-wearing-it-and-the-ladies-see-you-wearing-it.-Those-ladies?-Aren't-they-our-cousins-too?-Distant.-Distant.-Look-at-these-two.-Couple-of-Hive-Harrys.-Let's-have-fun-with-them.-It-must-be-dangerous-being-a-Pollen-Jock.-Yeah.-Once-a-bear-pinned-me-against-a-mushroom!-He-had-a-paw-on-my-throat #and-with-the-other #he-was-slapping-me!-Oh #my!-I-never-thought-I'd-knock-him-out.-What-were-you-doing-during-this?-Trying-to-alert-the-authorities.-I-can-autograph-that.-A-little-gusty-out-there-today #wasn't-it #comrades?-Yeah.-Gusty.-We're-hitting-a-sunflower-patch-six-miles-from-here-tomorrow.-Six-miles #huh?-Barry!-A-puddle-jump-for-us #but-maybe-you're-not-up-for-it.-Maybe-I-am.-You-are-not!-We're-going-0900-at-J-Gate.-What-do-you-think #buzzy-boy?-Are-you-bee-enough?-I-might-be.-It-all-depends-on-what-0900-means.-Hey #Honex!-Dad #you-surprised-me.-You-decide-what-you're-interested-in?-Well #there's-a-lot-of-choices.-But-you-only-get-one.-Do-you-ever-get-bored-doing-the-same-job-every-day?-Son #let-me-tell-you-about-stirring.-You-grab-that-stick #and-you-just-move-it-around #and-you-stir-it-around.-You-get-yourself-into-a-rhythm.-It's-a-beautiful-thing.-You-know #Dad #the-more-I-think-about-it #maybe-the-honey-field-just-isn't-right-for-me.-You-were-thinking-of-what #making-balloon-animals?-That's-a-bad-job-for-a-guy-with-a-stinger.-Janet #your-son's-not-sure-he-wants-to-go-into-honey!-Barry #you-are-so-funny-sometimes.-I'm-not-trying-to-be-funny.-You're-not-funny!-You're-going-into-honey.-Our-son #the-stirrer!-You're-gonna-be-a-stirrer?-No-one's-listening-to-me!-Wait-till-you-see-the-sticks-I-have.-I-could-say-anything-right-now.-I'm-gonna-get-an-ant-tattoo!-Let's-open-some-honey-and-celebrate!-Maybe-I'll-pierce-my-thorax.-Shave-my-antennae.-Shack-up-with-a-grasshopper.-Get-a-gold-tooth-and-call-everybody-'dawg'!-I'm-so-proud.-We're-starting-work-today!-Today's-the-day.-Come-on!-All-the-good-jobs-will-be-gone.-Yeah #right.-Pollen-counting #stunt-bee #pouring #stirrer #front-desk #hair-removal...-Is-it-still-available?-Hang-on.-Two-left!-One-of-them's-yours!-Congratulations!-Step-to-the-side.-What'd-you-get?-Picking-crud-out.-Stellar!-Wow!-Couple-of-newbies?-Yes #sir!-Our-first-day!-We-are-ready!-Make-your-choice.-You-want-to-go-first?-No #you-go.-Oh #my.-What's-available?-Restroom-attendant's-open #not-for-the-reason-you-think.-Any-chance-of-getting-the-Krelman?-Sure #you're-on.-I'm-sorry #the-Krelman-just-closed-out.-Wax-monkey's-always-open.-The-Krelman-opened-up-again.-What-happened?-A-bee-died.-Makes-an-opening.-See?-He's-dead.-Another-dead-one.-Deady.-Deadified.-Two-more-dead.-Dead-from-the-neck-up.-Dead-from-the-neck-down.-That's-life!-Oh #this-is-so-hard!-Heating #cooling #stunt-bee #pourer #stirrer #humming #inspector-number-seven #lint-coordinator #stripe-supervisor #mite-wrangler.-Barry #what-do-you-think-I-should...-Barry?-Barry!-All-right #we've-got-the-sunflower-patch-in-quadrant-nine...-What-happened-to-you?-Where-are-you?-I'm-going-out.-Out?-Out-where?-Out-there.-Oh #no!-I-have-to #before-I-go-to-work-for-the-rest-of-my-life.-You're-gonna-die!-You're-crazy!-Hello?-Another-call-coming-in.-If-anyone's-feeling-brave #there's-a-Korean-deli-on-83rd-that-gets-their-roses-today.-Hey #guys.-Look-at-that.-Isn't-that-the-kid-we-saw-yesterday?-Hold-it #son #flight-deck's-restricted.-It's-OK #Lou.-We're-gonna-take-him-up.-Really?-Feeling-lucky #are-you?-Sign-here #here.-Just-initial-that.-Thank-you.-OK.-You-got-a-rain-advisory-today #and-as-you-all-know #bees-cannot-fly-in-rain.-So-be-careful.-As-always #watch-your-brooms #hockey-sticks #dogs #birds #bears-and-bats.-Also #I-got-a-couple-of-reports-of-root-beer-being-poured-on-us.-Murphy's-in-a-home-because-of-it #babbling-like-a-cicada!-That's-awful.-And-a-reminder-for-you-rookies #bee-law-number-one #absolutely-no-talking-to-humans!--All-right #launch-positions!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Black-and-yellow!-Hello!-You-ready-for-this #hot-shot?-Yeah.-Yeah #bring-it-on.-Wind #check.-Antennae #check.-Nectar-pack #check.-Wings #check.-Stinger #check.-Scared-out-of-my-shorts #check.-OK #ladies #let's-move-it-out!-Pound-those-petunias #you-striped-stem-suckers!-All-of-you #drain-those-flowers!-Wow!-I'm-out!-I-can't-believe-I'm-out!-So-blue.-I-feel-so-fast-and-free!-Box-kite!-Wow!-Flowers!-This-is-Blue-Leader #We-have-roses-visual.-Bring-it-around-30-degrees-and-hold.-Roses!-30-degrees #roger.-Bringing-it-around.-Stand-to-the-side #kid.-It's-got-a-bit-of-a-kick.-That-is-one-nectar-collector!-Ever-see-pollination-up-close?-No #sir.-I-pick-up-some-pollen-here #sprinkle-it-over-here.-Maybe-a-dash-over-there #a-pinch-on-that-one.-See-that?-It's-a-little-bit-of-magic.-That's-amazing.-Why-do-we-do-that?-That's-pollen-power.-More-pollen #more-flowers #more-nectar #more-honey-for-us.-Cool.-I'm-picking-up-a-lot-of-bright-yellow #Could-be-daisies #Don't-we-need-those?-Copy-that-visual.-Wait.-One-of-these-flowers-seems-to-be-on-the-move.-Say-again?-You're-reporting-a-moving-flower?-Affirmative.-That-was-on-the-line!-This-is-the-coolest.-What-is-it?-I-don't-know #but-I'm-loving-this-color.-It-smells-good.-Not-like-a-flower #but-I-like-it.-Yeah #fuzzy.-Chemical-y.-Careful #guys.-It's-a-little-grabby.-My-sweet-lord-of-bees!-Candy-brain #get-off-there!-Problem!-Guys!-This-could-be-bad.-Affirmative.-Very-close.-Gonna-hurt.-Mama's-little-boy.-You-are-way-out-of-position #rookie!-Coming-in-at-you-like-a-missile!-Help-me!-I-don't-think-these-are-flowers.-Should-we-tell-him?-I-think-he-knows.-What-is-this?!-Match-point!-You-can-start-packing-up #honey #because-you're-about-to-eat-it!-Yowser!-Gross.-There's-a-bee-in-the-car!-Do-something!-I'm-driving!-Hi #bee.-He's-back-here!-He's-going-to-sting-me!-Nobody-move.-If-you-don't-move #he-won't-sting-you.-Freeze!-He-blinked!-Spray-him #Granny!-What-are-you-doing?!-Wow...-the-tension-level-out-here-is-unbelievable.-I-gotta-get-home.-Can't-fly-in-rain.-Can't-fly-in-rain.-Can't-fly-in-rain.-Mayday!-Mayday!-Bee-going-down!-Ken #could-you-close-the-window-please?-Ken #could-you-close-the-window-please?-Check-out-my-new-resume.-I-made-it-into-a-fold-out-brochure.-You-see?-Folds-out.-Oh #no.-More-humans.-I-don't-need-this.-What-was-that?-Maybe-this-time.-This-time.-This-time.-This-time!-This-time!-This...-Drapes!-That-is-diabolical.-It's-fantastic.-It's-got-all-my-special-skills #even-my-top-ten-favorite-movies.-What's-number-one?-Star-Wars?-Nah #I-don't-go-for-that...-kind-of-stuff.-No-wonder-we-shouldn't-talk-to-them.-They're-out-of-their-minds.-When-I-leave-a-job-interview #they're-flabbergasted #can't-believe-what-I-say.-There's-the-sun.-Maybe-that's-a-way-out.-I-don't-remember-the-sun-having-a-big-75-on-it.-I-predicted-global-warming.-I-could-feel-it-getting-hotter.-At-first-I-thought-it-was-just-me.-Wait!-Stop!-Bee!-Stand-back.-These-are-winter-boots.-Wait!-Don't-kill-him!-You-know-I'm-allergic-to-them!-This-thing-could-kill-me!-Why-does-his-life-have-less-value-than-yours?-Why-does-his-life-have-any-less-value-than-mine?-Is-that-your-statement?-I'm-just-saying-all-life-has-value.-You-don't-know-what-he's-capable-of-feeling.-My-brochure!-There-you-go #little-guy.-I'm-not-scared-of-him.It's-an-allergic-thing.--Put-that-on-your-resume-brochure.-My-whole-face-could-puff-up.-Make-it-one-of-your-special-skills.-Knocking-someone-out-is-also-a-special-skill.-Right.-Bye #Vanessa.-Thanks.-Vanessa #next-week?-Yogurt-night?-Sure #Ken.-You-know #whatever.-You-could-put-carob-chips-on-there.-Bye.-Supposed-to-be-less-calories.-Bye.-I-gotta-say-something.-She-saved-my-life.-I-gotta-say-something.-All-right #here-it-goes.-Nah.-What-would-I-say?-I-could-really-get-in-trouble.-It's-a-bee-law.-You're-not-supposed-to-talk-to-a-human.-I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this.-I've-got-to.-Oh #I-can't-do-it.-Come-on!-No.-Yes.-No.-Do-it.-I-can't.-How-should-I-start-it?-'You-like-jazz?'-No #that's-no-good.-Here-she-comes!-Speak #you-fool!-Hi!-I'm-sorry.-You're-talking.-Yes #I-know.-You're-talking!-I'm-so-sorry.-No #it's-OK.-It's-fine.-I-know-I'm-dreaming.-But-I-don't-recall-going-to-bed.-Well #I'm-sure-this-is-very-disconcerting.-This-is-a-bit-of-a-surprise-to-me.-I-mean #you're-a-bee!-I-am.-And-I'm-not-supposed-to-be-doing-this #Barry?-It's-pretty-big #but-they-were-all-trying-to-kill-me.-And-if-it-wasn't-for-you...-I-had-to-thank-you.-It's-just-how-I-was-raised.-That-was-a-little-weird.-I'm-talking-with-a-bee.-Yeah.-I'm-talking-to-a-bee.-And-the-bee-is-talking-to-me!-I-just-want-to-say-I'm-grateful.-I'll-leave-now.-Wait!-How-did-you-learn-to-do-that?-What?-The-talking-thing.-Same-way-you-did #I-guess.-'Mama #Dada #honey.'-You-pick-it-up.-That's-very-funny.-Yeah.-Bees-are-funny.-If-we-didn't-laugh #we'd-cry-with-what-we-have-to-deal-with.-Anyway...-Can-I...-get-you-something?-Like-what?-I-don't-know.-I-mean...-I-don't-know.-Coffee?-I-don't-want-to-put-you-out.-It's-no-trouble.-It-takes-two-minutes.-It's-just-coffee.-I-hate-to-impose.-Don't-be-ridiculous!-Actually #I-would-love-a-cup.-Hey #you-want-rum-cake?-I-shouldn't.-Have-some.-No #I-can't.-Come-on!-I'm-trying-to-lose-a-couple-micrograms.-Where?-These-stripes-don't-help.-You-look-great!-I-don't-know-if-you-know-anything-about-fashion.-Are-you-all-right?-No.-He's-making-the-tie-in-the-cab-as-they're-flying-up-Madison.-He-finally-gets-there.-He-runs-up-the-steps-into-the-church.-The-wedding-is-on.-And-he-says #'Watermelon?-I-thought-you-said-Guatemalan.-Why-would-I-marry-a-watermelon?'-Is-that-a-bee-joke?-That's-the-kind-of-stuff-we-do.-Yeah #different.-So #what-are-you-gonna-do #Barry?-About-work?-I-don't-know.-I-want-to-do-my-part-for-The-Hive #but-I-can't-do-it-the-way-they-want.-I-know-how-you-feel.-You-do?-Sure.-My-parents-wanted-me-to-be-a-lawyer-or-a-doctor #but-I-wanted-to-be-a-florist.-Really?-My-only-interest-is-flowers.-Our-new-queen-was-just-elected-with-that-same-campaign-slogan.-Anyway #if-you-look...-There's-my-hive-right-there.-See-it?-You're-in-Sheep-Meadow!-Yes!-I'm-right-off-the-Turtle-Pond!-No-way!-I-know-that-area.-I-lost-a-toe-ring-there-once.-Why-do-girls-put-rings-on-their-toes?-Why-not?-It's-like-putting-a-hat-on-your-knee.-Maybe-I'll-try-that.-You-all-right #ma'am?-Oh #yeah.-Fine.-Just-having-two-cups-of-coffee!-Anyway #this-has-been-great.-Thanks-for-the-coffee.-Yeah #it's-no-trouble.-Sorry-I-couldn't-finish-it.-If-I-did #I'd-be-up-the-rest-of-my-life.-Are-you...?-Can-I-take-a-piece-of-this-with-me?-Sure!-Here #have-a-crumb.-Thanks!-Yeah.-All-right.-Well #then...-I-guess-I'll-see-you-around.-Or-not.-OK #Barry.-And-thank-you-so-much-again...-for-before.-Oh #that?-That-was-nothing.-Well #not-nothing #but...-Anyway...-This-can't-possibly-work.-He's-all-set-to-go.-We-may-as-well-try-it.-OK #Dave #pull-the-chute.-Sounds-amazing.-It-was-amazing!-It-was-the-scariest #happiest-moment-of-my-life.-Humans!-I-can't-believe-you-were-with-humans!-Giant #scary-humans!-What-were-they-like?-Huge-and-crazy.-They-talk-crazy.-They-eat-crazy-giant-things.-They-drive-crazy.-Do-they-try-and-kill-you #like-on-TV?-Some-of-them.-But-some-of-them-don't.-How'd-you-get-back?-Poodle.-You-did-it #and-I'm-glad.-You-saw-whatever-you-wanted-to-see.-You-had-your-'experience.'-Now-you-can-pick-out-yourjob-and-be-normal.-Well...-Well?-Well #I-met-someone.-You-did?-Was-she-Bee-ish?-A-wasp?!-Your-parents-will-kill-you!-No #no #no #not-a-wasp.-Spider?-I'm-not-attracted-to-spiders.-I-know-it's-the-hottest-thing #with-the-eight-legs-and-all.-I-can't-get-by-that-face.-So-who-is-she?-She's...-human.-No #no.-That's-a-bee-law.-You-wouldn't-break-a-bee-law.-Her-name's-Vanessa.-Oh #boy.-She's-so-nice.-And-she's-a-florist!-Oh #no!-You're-dating-a-human-florist!-We're-not-dating.-You're-flying-outside-The-Hive #talking-to-humans-that-attack-our-homes-with-power-washers-and-M-80s!-One-eighth-a-stick-of-dynamite!-She-saved-my-life!-And-she-understands-me.-This-is-over!-Eat-this.-This-is-not-over!-What-was-that?-They-call-it-a-crumb.-It-was-so-stingin'-stripey!-And-that's-not-what-they-eat.-That's-what-falls-off-what-they-eat!-You-know-what-a-Cinnabon-is?-No.-It's-bread-and-cinnamon-and-frosting.-They-heat-it-up...-Sit-down!-...really-hot!-Listen-to-me!-We-are-not-them!-We're-us.-There's-us-and-there's-them!-Yes #but-who-can-deny-the-heart-that-is-yearning?-There's-no-yearning.-Stop-yearning.-Listen-to-me!-You-have-got-to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend.-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee.-Thinking-bee.-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-There-he-is.-He's-in-the-pool.-You-know-what-your-problem-is #Barry?-I-gotta-start-thinking-bee?-How-much-longer-will-this-go-on?-It's-been-three-days!-Why-aren't-you-working?-I've-got-a-lot-of-big-life-decisions-to-think-about.-What-life?-You-have-no-life!-You-have-no-job.-You're-barely-a-bee!-Would-it-kill-you-to-make-a-little-honey?-Barry #come-out.-Your-father's-talking-to-you.-Martin #would-you-talk-to-him?-Barry #I'm-talking-to-you!-You-coming?-Got-everything?-All-set!-Go-ahead.-I'll-catch-up.-Don't-be-too-long.-Watch-this!-Vanessa!-We're-still-here.-I-told-you-not-to-yell-at-him.-He-doesn't-respond-to-yelling!-Then-why-yell-at-me?-Because-you-don't-listen!-I'm-not-listening-to-this.-Sorry #I've-gotta-go.-Where-are-you-going?-I'm-meeting-a-friend.-A-girl?-Is-this-why-you-can't-decide?-Bye.-I-just-hope-she's-Bee-ish.-They-have-a-huge-parade-of-flowers-every-year-in-Pasadena?-To-be-in-the-Tournament-of-Roses #that's-every-florist's-dream!-Up-on-a-float #surrounded-by-flowers #crowds-cheering.-A-tournament.-Do-the-roses-compete-in-athletic-events?-No.-All-right #I've-got-one.-How-come-you-don't-fly-everywhere?-It's-exhausting.-Why-don't-you-run-everywhere?-It's-faster.-Yeah #OK #I-see #I-see.-All-right #your-turn.-TiVo.-You-can-just-freeze-live-TV?-That's-insane!-You-don't-have-that?-We-have-Hivo #but-it's-a-disease.-It's-a-horrible #horrible-disease.-Oh #my.-Dumb-bees!-You-must-want-to-sting-all-those-jerks.-We-try-not-to-sting.-It's-usually-fatal-for-us.-So-you-have-to-watch-your-temper.-Very-carefully.-You-kick-a-wall #take-a-walk #write-an-angry-letter-and-throw-it-out.-Work-through-it-like-any-emotion:-Anger #jealousy #lust.-Oh #my-goodness!-Are-you-OK?-Yeah.-What-is-wrong-with-you?!-It's-a-bug.-He's-not-bothering-anybody.-Get-out-of-here #you-creep!-What-was-that?-A-Pic-'N'-Save-circular?-Yeah #it-was.-How-did-you-know?-It-felt-like-about-10-pages.-Seventy-five-is-pretty-much-our-limit.-You've-really-got-that-down-to-a-science.-I-lost-a-cousin-to-Italian-Vogue.-I'll-bet.-What-in-the-name-of-Mighty-Hercules-is-this?-How-did-this-get-here?-cute-Bee #Golden-Blossom #Ray-Liotta-Private-Select?-Is-he-that-actor?-I-never-heard-of-him.-Why-is-this-here?-For-people.-We-eat-it.-You-don't-have-enough-food-of-your-own?-Well #yes.-How-do-you-get-it?-Bees-make-it.-I-know-who-makes-it!-And-it's-hard-to-make-it!-There's-heating #cooling #stirring.-You-need-a-whole-Krelman-thing!-It's-organic.-It's-our-ganic!-It's-just-honey #Barry.-Just-what?!-Bees-don't-know-about-this!-This-is-stealing!-A-lot-of-stealing!-You've-taken-our-homes #schools #hospitals!-This-is-all-we-have!-And-it's-on-sale?!-I'm-getting-to-the-bottom-of-this.-I'm-getting-to-the-bottom-of-all-of-this!-Hey #Hector.-You-almost-done?-Almost.-He-is-here.-I-sense-it.-Well #I-guess-I'll-go-home-now-and-just-leave-this-nice-honey-out #with-no-one-around.-You're-busted #box-boy!-I-knew-I-heard-something.-So-you-can-talk!-I-can-talk.-And-now-you'll-start-talking!-Where-you-getting-the-sweet-stuff?-Who's-your-supplier?-I-don't-understand.-I-thought-we-were-friends.-The-last-thing-we-want-to-do-is-upset-bees!-You're-too-late!-It's-ours-now!-You #sir #have-crossed-the-wrong-sword!-You #sir #will-be-lunch-for-my-iguana #Ignacio!-Where-is-the-honey-coming-from?-Tell-me-where!-Honey-Farms!-It-comes-from-Honey-Farms!-Crazy-person!-What-horrible-thing-has-happened-here?-These-faces #they-never-knew-what-hit-them.-And-now-they're-on-the-road-to-nowhere!-Just-keep-still.-What?-You're-not-dead?-Do-I-look-dead?-They-will-wipe-anything-that-moves.-Where-you-headed?-To-Honey-Farms.-I-am-onto-something-huge-here.-I'm-going-to-Alaska.-Moose-blood #crazy-stuff.-Blows-your-head-off!-I'm-going-to-Tacoma.-And-you?-He-really-is-dead.-All-right.-Uh-oh!-What-is-that?!-Oh #no!-A-wiper!-Triple-blade!-Triple-blade?-Jump-on!-It's-your-only-chance #bee!-Why-does-everything-have-to-be-so-doggone-clean?!-How-much-do-you-people-need-to-see?!-Open-your-eyes!-Stick-your-head-out-the-window!-From-NPR-News-in-Washington #I'm-Carl-Kasell.-But-don't-kill-no-more-bugs!-Bee!-Moose-blood-guy!!-You-hear-something?-Like-what?-Like-tiny-screaming.-Turn-off-the-radio.-Whassup #bee-boy?-Hey #Blood.-Just-a-row-of-honey-jars #as-far-as-the-eye-could-see.-Wow!-I-assume-wherever-this-truck-goes-is-where-they're-getting-it.-I-mean #that-honey's-ours.-Bees-hang-tight.-We're-all-jammed-in.-It's-a-close-community.-Not-us #man.-We-on-our-own.-Every-mosquito-on-his-own.-What-if-you-get-in-trouble?-You-a-mosquito #you-in-trouble.-Nobody-likes-us.-They-just-smack.-See-a-mosquito #smack #smack!-At-least-you're-out-in-the-world.-You-must-meet-girls.-Mosquito-girls-try-to-trade-up #get-with-a-moth #dragonfly.-Mosquito-girl-don't-want-no-mosquito.-You-got-to-be-kidding-me!-Mooseblood's-about-to-leave-the-building!-So-long #bee!-Hey #guys!-Mooseblood!-I-knew-I'd-catch-y'all-down-here.-Did-you-bring-your-crazy-straw?-We-throw-it-in-jars #slap-a-label-on-it #and-it's-pretty-much-pure-profit.-What-is-this-place?-A-bee's-got-a-brain-the-size-of-a-pinhead.-They-are-pinheads!-Pinhead.-Check-out-the-new-smoker.-Oh #sweet.-That's-the-one-you-want.-The-Thomas-3000!-Smoker?-Ninety-puffs-a-minute #semi-automatic.-Twice-the-nicotine #all-the-tar.-A-couple-breaths-of-this-knocks-them-right-out.-They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money.-'They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money'?-Oh #my!-What's-going-on?-Are-you-OK?-Yeah.-It-doesn't-last-too-long.-Do-you-know-you're-in-a-fake-hive-with-fake-walls?-Our-queen-was-moved-here.-We-had-no-choice.-This-is-your-queen?-That's-a-man-in-women's-clothes!-That's-a-drag-queen!-What-is-this?-Oh #no!-There's-hundreds-of-them!-Bee-honey.-Our-honey-is-being-brazenly-stolen-on-a-massive-scale!-This-is-worse-than-anything-bears-have-done!-I-intend-to-do-something.-Oh #Barry #stop.-Who-told-you-humans-are-taking-our-honey?-That's-a-rumor.-Do-these-look-like-rumors?-That's-a-conspiracy-theory.-These-are-obviously-doctored-photos.-How-did-you-get-mixed-up-in-this?-He's-been-talking-to-humans.-What?-Talking-to-humans?!-He-has-a-human-girlfriend.-And-they-make-out!-Make-out?-Barry!-We-do-not.-You-wish-you-could.-Whose-side-are-you-on?-The-bees!-I-dated-a-cricket-once-in-San-Antonio.-Those-crazy-legs-kept-me-up-all-night.-Barry #this-is-what-you-want-to-do-with-your-life?-I-want-to-do-it-for-all-our-lives.-Nobody-works-harder-than-bees!-Dad #I-remember-you-coming-home-so-overworked-your-hands-were-still-stirring.-You-couldn't-stop.-I-remember-that.-What-right-do-they-have-to-our-honey?-We-live-on-two-cups-a-year.-They-put-it-in-lip-balm-for-no-reason-whatsoever!-Even-if-it's-true #what-can-one-bee-do?-Sting-them-where-it-really-hurts.-In-the-face!-The-eye!-That-would-hurt.-No.-Up-the-nose?-That's-a-killer.-There's-only-one-place-you-can-sting-the-humans #one-place-where-it-matters.-Hive-at-Five #The-Hive's-only-full-hour-action-news-source.-No-more-bee-beards!-With-Bob-Bumble-at-the-anchor-desk.-Weather-with-Storm-Stinger.-Sports-with-Buzz-Larvi.-And-Jeanette-Chung.-Good-evening.-I'm-Bob-Bumble.-And-I'm-Jeanette-Ohung.-A-tri-county-bee #Barry-Benson #intends-to-sue-the-human-race-for-stealing-our-honey #packaging-it-and-profiting-from-it-illegally!-Tomorrow-night-on-Bee-Larry-King #we'll-have-three-former-queens-here-in-our-studio #discussing-their-new-book #classy-Ladies #out-this-week-on-Hexagon.-Tonight-we're-talking-to-Barry-Benson.-Did-you-ever-think #'I'm-a-kid-from-The-Hive.-I-can't-do-this'?-Bees-have-never-been-afraid-to-change-the-world.-What-about-Bee-Oolumbus?-Bee-Gandhi?-Bejesus?-Where-I'm-from #we'd-never-sue-humans.-We-were-thinking-of-stickball-or-candy-stores.-How-old-are-you?-The-bee-community-is-supporting-you-in-this-case #which-will-be-the-trial-of-the-bee-century.-You-know #they-have-a-Larry-King-in-the-human-world-too.-It's-a-common-name.-Next-week...-He-looks-like-you-and-has-a-show-and-suspenders-and-colored-dots...-Next-week...-Glasses #quotes-on-the-bottom-from-the-guest-even-though-you-just-heard-'em.-Bear-Week-next-week!-They're-scary #hairy-and-here-live.-Always-leans-forward #pointy-shoulders #squinty-eyes #very-Jewish.-In-tennis #you-attack-at-the-point-of-weakness!-It-was-my-grandmother #Ken.-She's-81.-Honey #her-backhand's-a-joke!-I'm-not-gonna-take-advantage-of-that?-Quiet #please.-Actual-work-going-on-here.-Is-that-that-same-bee?-Yes #it-is!-I'm-helping-him-sue-the-human-race.-Hello.-Hello #bee.-This-is-Ken.-Yeah #I-remember-you.-Timberland #size-ten-and-a-half.-Vibram-sole #I-believe.-Why-does-he-talk-again?-Listen #you-better-go-'cause-we're-really-busy-working.-But-it's-our-yogurt-night!-Bye-bye.-Why-is-yogurt-night-so-difficult?!-You-poor-thing.-You-two-have-been-at-this-for-hours!-Yes #and-Adam-here-has-been-a-huge-help.-Frosting...-How-many-sugars?-Just-one.-I-try-not-to-use-the-competition.-So-why-are-you-helping-me?-Bees-have-good-qualities.-And-it-takes-my-mind-off-the-shop.-Instead-of-flowers #people-are-giving-balloon-bouquets-now.-Those-are-great #if-you're-three.-And-artificial-flowers.-Oh #those-just-get-me-psychotic!-Yeah #me-too.-Bent-stingers #pointless-pollination.-Bees-must-hate-those-fake-things!-Nothing-worse-than-a-daffodil-that's-had-work-done.-Maybe-this-could-make-up-for-it-a-little-bit.-This-lawsuit's-a-pretty-big-deal.-I-guess.-You-sure-you-want-to-go-through-with-it?-Am-I-sure?-When-I'm-done-with-the-humans #they-won't-be-able-to-say #'Honey #I'm-home #'-without-paying-a-royalty!-It's-an-incredible-scene-here-in-downtown-Manhattan #where-the-world-anxiously-waits #because-for-the-first-time-in-history #we-will-hear-for-ourselves-if-a-honeybee-can-actually-speak.-What-have-we-gotten-into-here #isn't-it?-I-can't-believe-how-many-humans-don't-work-during-the-day.-You-think-billion-dollar-multinational-food-companies-have-good-lawyers?-Everybody-needs-to-stay-behind-the-barricade.-What's-the-matter?-I-don't-know #I-just-got-a-chill.-Well #if-it-isn't-the-bee-team.-You-boys-work-on-this?-All-rise!-The-Honorable-Judge-Bumbleton-presiding.-All-right.-Case-number-4475 #Superior-Court-of-New-York #Barry-Bee-Benson-v.-the-Honey-Industry-is-now-in-session.-Mr.-Montgomery #you're-representing-the-five-food-companies-collectively?-A-privilege.-Mr.-Benson...-you're-representing-all-the-bees-of-the-world?-I'm-kidding.-Yes #Your-Honor #we're-ready-to-proceed.-Mr.-Montgomery #your-opening-statement #please.-Ladies-and-gentlemen-of-the-jury #my-grandmother-was-a-simple-woman.-Born-on-a-farm #she-believed-it-was-man's-divine-right-to-benefit-from-the-bounty-of-nature-God-put-before-us.-If-we-lived-in-the-topsy-turvy-world-Mr.-Benson-imagines #just-think-of-what-would-it-mean.-I-would-have-to-negotiate-with-the-silkworm-for-the-elastic-in-my-britches!-Talking-bee!-How-do-we-know-this-isn't-some-sort-of-holographic-motion-picture-capture-Hollywood-wizardry?-They-could-be-using-laser-beams!-Robotics!-Ventriloquism!-Cloning!-For-all-we-know #he-could-be-on-steroids!-Mr.-Benson?-Ladies-and-gentlemen #there's-no-trickery-here.-I'm-just-an-ordinary-bee.-Honey's-pretty-important-to-me.-It's-important-to-all-bees.-We-invented-it!-We-make-it.-And-we-protect-it-with-our-lives.-Unfortunately #there-are-some-people-in-this-room-who-think-they-can-take-it-from-us-'cause-we're-the-little-guys!-I'm-hoping-that #after-this-is-all-over #you'll-see-how #by-taking-our-honey #you-not-only-take-everything-we-have-but-everything-we-are!-I-wish-he'd-dress-like-that-all-the-time.-So-nice!-Call-your-first-witness.-So #Mr.-Klauss-Vanderhayden-of-Honey-Farms #big-company-you-have.-I-suppose-so.-I-see-you-also-own-Honeyburton-and-Honron!-Yes #they-provide-beekeepers-for-our-farms.-Beekeeper.-I-find-that-to-be-a-very-disturbing-term.-I-don't-imagine-you-employ-any-bee-free-ers #do-you?-No.-I-couldn't-hear-you.-No.-No.-Because-you-don't-free-bees.-You-keep-bees.-Not-only-that #it-seems-you-thought-a-bear-would-be-an-appropriate-image-for-a-jar-of-honey.-They're-very-lovable-creatures.-Yogi-Bear #Fozzie-Bear #Build-A-Bear.-You-mean-like-this?-Bears-kill-bees!-How'd-you-like-his-head-crashing-through-your-living-room?!-Biting-into-your-couch!-Spitting-out-your-throw-pillows!-OK #that's-enough.-Take-him-away.-So #Mr.-Sting #thank-you-for-being-here.-Your-name-intrigues-me.-Where-have-I-heard-it-before?-I-was-with-a-band-called-The-Police.-But-you've-never-been-a-police-officer #have-you?-No #I-haven't.-No #you-haven't.-And-so-here-we-have-yet-another-example-of-bee-culture-casually-stolen-by-a-human-for-nothing-more-than-a-prance-about-stage-name.-Oh #please.-Have-you-ever-been-stung #Mr.-Sting?-Because-I'm-feeling-a-little-stung #Sting.-Or-should-I-say...-Mr.-Gordon-M.-Sumner!-That's-not-his-real-name?!-You-idiots!-Mr.-Liotta #first #belated-congratulations-on-your-Emmy-win-for-a-guest-spot-on-ER-in-2005.-Thank-you.-Thank-you.-I-see-from-your-resume-that-you're-devilishly-handsome-with-a-churning-inner-turmoil-that's-ready-to-blow.-I-enjoy-what-I-do.-Is-that-a-crime?-Not-yet-it-isn't.-But-is-this-what-it's-come-to-for-you?-Exploiting-tiny #helpless-bees-so-you-don't-have-to-rehearse-your-part-and-learn-your-lines #sir?-Watch-it #Benson!-I-could-blow-right-now!-This-isn't-a-goodfella.-This-is-a-badfella!-Why-doesn't-someone-just-step-on-this-creep #and-we-can-all-go-home?!-Order-in-this-court!-You're-all-thinking-it!-Order!-Order #I-say!-Say-it!-Mr.-Liotta #please-sit-down!-I-think-it-was-awfully-nice-of-that-bear-to-pitch-in-like-that.-I-think-the-jury's-on-our-side.-Are-we-doing-everything-right #legally?-I'm-a-florist.-Right.-Well #here's-to-a-great-team.-To-a-great-team!-Well #hello.-Ken!-Hello.-I-didn't-think-you-were-coming.-No #I-was-just-late-I-tried-to-call #but...-the-battery.-I-didn't-want-all-this-to-go-to-waste #so-I-called-Barry.-Luckily #he-was-free.-Oh #that-was-lucky.-There's-a-little-left.-I-could-heat-it-up.-Yeah #heat-it-up #sure #whatever.-So-I-hear-you're-quite-a-tennis-player.-I'm-not-much-for-the-game-myself.-The-ball's-a-little-grabby.-That's-where-I-usually-sit.-Right...-there.-Ken #Barry-was-looking-at-your-resume #and-he-agreed-with-me-that-eating-with-chopsticks-isn't-really-a-special-skill.-You-think-I-don't-see-what-you're-doing?-I-know-how-hard-it-is-to-find-the-right-job.-We-have-that-in-common.-Do-we?-Bees-have-100-percent-employment #but-we-do-jobs-like-taking-the-crud-out.-That's-just-what-I-was-thinking-about-doing.-Ken #I-let-Barry-borrow-your-razor-for-his-fuzz.-I-hope-that-was-all-right.-I'm-going-to-drain-the-old-stinger.-Yeah #you-do-that.-Look-at-that.-You-know #I've-just-about-had-it-with-your-little-Mind-Games.-What's-that?-Italian-Vogue.-Mamma-mia #that's-a-lot-of-pages.-A-lot-of-ads.-Remember-what-Van-said #why-is-your-life-more-valuable-than-mine?-Funny #I-just-can't-seem-to-recall-that!-I-think-something-stinks-in-here!-I-love-the-smell-of-flowers.-How-do-you-like-the-smell-of-flames?!-Not-as-much.-Water-bug!-Not-taking-sides!-Ken #I'm-wearing-a-Chapstick-hat!-This-is-pathetic!-I've-got-issues!-Well #well #well #a-royal-flush!-You're-bluffing.-Am-I?-Surf's-up #dude!-Poo-water!-That-bowl-is-gnarly.-Except-for-those-dirty-yellow-rings!-Kenneth!-What-are-you-doing?!-You-know #I-don't-even-like-honey!-I-don't-eat-it!-We-need-to-talk!-He's-just-a-little-bee!-And-he-happens-to-be-the-nicest-bee-I've-met-in-a-long-time!-Long-time?-What-are-you-talking-about?!-Are-there-other-bugs-in-your-life?--No #but-there-are-other-things-bugging-me-in-life.-And-you're-one-of-them!-Fine!-Talking-bees #no-yogurt-night...-My-nerves-are-fried-from-riding-on-this-emotional-roller-coaster!-Goodbye #Ken.-And-for-your-information #I-prefer-sugar-free #artificial-sweeteners-made-by-man!-I'm-sorry-about-all-that.-I-know-it's-got-an-aftertaste!-I-like-it!-I-always-felt-there-was-some-kind-of-barrier-between-Ken-and-me.-I-couldn't-overcome-it.-Oh #well.-Are-you-OK-for-the-trial?-I-believe-Mr.-Montgomery-is-about-out-of-ideas.-We-would-like-to-call-Mr.-Barry-Benson-Bee-to-the-stand.-Good-idea!-You-can-really-see-why-he's-considered-one-of-the-best-lawyers...-Yeah.-Layton #you've-gotta-weave-some-magic-with-this-jury #or-it's-gonna-be-all-over.-Don't-worry.-The-only-thing-I-have-to-do-to-turn-this-jury-around-is-to-remind-them-of-what-they-don't-like-about-bees.-You-got-the-tweezers?-Are-you-allergic?-Only-to-losing #son.-Only-to-losing.-Mr.-Benson-Bee #I'll-ask-you-what-I-think-we'd-all-like-to-know.-What-exactly-is-your-relationship-to-that-woman?-We're-friends.-Good-friends?-Yes.-How-good?-Do-you-live-together?-Wait-a-minute...-Are-you-her-little...-bedbug?-I've-seen-a-bee-documentary-or-two.-From-what-I-understand #doesn't-your-queen-give-birth-to-all-the-bee-children?-Yeah #but...-So-those-aren't-your-real-parents!-Oh #Barry...-Yes #they-are!-Hold-me-back!-You're-an-illegitimate-bee #aren't-you #Benson?-He's-denouncing-bees!-Don't-y'all-date-your-cousins?-Objection!-I'm-going-to-pincushion-this-guy!-Adam #don't!-It's-what-he-wants!-Oh #I'm-hit!!-Oh #lordy #I-am-hit!-Order!-Order!-The-venom!-The-venom-is-coursing-through-my-veins!-I-have-been-felled-by-a-winged-beast-of-destruction!-You-see?-You-can't-treat-them-like-equals!-They're-striped-savages!-Stinging's-the-only-thing-they-know!-It's-their-way!-Adam #stay-with-me.-I-can't-feel-my-legs.-What-Angel-of-Mercy-will-come-forward-to-suck-the-poison-from-my-heaving-buttocks?-I-will-have-order-in-this-court.-Order!-Order #please!-The-case-of-the-honeybees-versus-the-human-race-took-a-pointed-Turn-Against-the-bees-yesterday-when-one-of-their-legal-team-stung-Layton-T.-Montgomery.-Hey #buddy.-Hey.-Is-there-much-pain?-Yeah.-I...-I-blew-the-whole-case #didn't-I?-It-doesn't-matter.-What-matters-is-you're-alive.-You-could-have-died.-I'd-be-better-off-dead.-Look-at-me.-They-got-it-from-the-cafeteria-downstairs #in-a-tuna-sandwich.-Look #there's-a-little-celery-still-on-it.-What-was-it-like-to-sting-someone?-I-can't-explain-it.-It-was-all...-All-adrenaline-and-then...and-then-ecstasy!-All-right.-You-think-it-was-all-a-trap?-Of-course.-I'm-sorry.-I-flew-us-right-into-this.-What-were-we-thinking?-Look-at-us.-We're-just-a-couple-of-bugs-in-this-world.-What-will-the-humans-do-to-us-if-they-win?-I-don't-know.-I-hear-they-put-the-roaches-in-motels.-That-doesn't-sound-so-bad.-Adam #they-check-in #but-they-don't-check-out!-Oh #my.-Could-you-get-a-nurse-to-close-that-window?-Why?-The-smoke.-Bees-don't-smoke.-Right.-Bees-don't-smoke.-Bees-don't-smoke!-But-some-bees-are-smoking.-That's-it!-That's-our-case!-It-is?-It's-not-over?-Get-dressed.-I've-gotta-go-somewhere.-Get-back-to-the-court-and-stall.-Stall-any-way-you-can.-And-assuming-you've-done-step-correctly #you're-ready-for-the-tub.-Mr.-Flayman.-Yes?-Yes #Your-Honor!-Where-is-the-rest-of-your-team?-Well #Your-Honor #it's-interesting.-Bees-are-trained-to-fly-haphazardly #and-as-a-result #we-don't-make-very-good-time.-I-actually-heard-a-funny-story-about...-Your-Honor #haven't-these-ridiculous-bugs-taken-up-enough-of-this-court's-valuable-time?-How-much-longer-will-we-allow-these-absurd-shenanigans-to-go-on?-They-have-presented-no-compelling-evidence-to-support-their-charges-against-my-clients #who-run-legitimate-businesses.-I-move-for-a-complete-dismissal-of-this-entire-case!-Mr.-Flayman #I'm-afraid-I'm-going-to-have-to-consider-Mr.-Montgomery's-motion.-But-you-can't!-We-have-a-terrific-case.-Where-is-your-proof?-Where-is-the-evidence?-Show-me-the-smoking-gun!-Hold-it #Your-Honor!-You-want-a-smoking-gun?-Here-is-your-smoking-gun.-What-is-that?-It's-a-bee-smoker!-What #this?-This-harmless-little-contraption?-This-couldn't-hurt-a-fly #let-alone-a-bee.-Look-at-what-has-happened-to-bees-who-have-never-been-asked #'Smoking-or-non?'-Is-this-what-nature-intended-for-us?-To-be-forcibly-addicted-to-smoke-machines-and-man-made-wooden-slat-work-camps?-Living-out-our-lives-as-honey-slaves-to-the-white-man?-What-are-we-gonna-do?-He's-playing-the-species-card.-Ladies-and-gentlemen #please #free-these-bees!-Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees!-The-court-finds-in-favor-of-the-bees!-Vanessa #we-won!-I-knew-you-could-do-it!-High-five!-Sorry.-I'm-OK!-You-know-what-this-means?-All-the-honey-will-finally-belong-to-the-bees.-Now-we-won't-have-to-work-so-hard-all-the-time.-This-is-an-unholy-perversion-of-the-balance-of-nature #Benson.-You'll-regret-this.-Barry #how-much-honey-is-out-there?-All-right.-One-at-a-time.-Barry #who-are-you-wearing?-My-sweater-is-Ralph-Lauren #and-I-have-no-pants.-What-if-Montgomery's-right?-What-do-you-mean?-We've-been-living-the-bee-way-a-long-time #27-million-years.-Congratulations-on-your-victory.-What-will-you-demand-as-a-settlement?-First #we'll-demand-a-complete-shutdown-of-all-bee-work-camps.-Then-we-want-back-the-honey-that-was-ours-to-begin-with #every-last-drop.-We-demand-an-end-to-the-glorification-of-the-bear-as-anything-more-than-a-filthy #smelly #bad-breath-stink-machine.-We're-all-aware-of-what-they-do-in-the-woods.-Wait-for-my-signal.-Take-him-out.-He'll-have-nauseous-for-a-few-hours #then-he'll-be-fine.-And-we-will-no-longer-tolerate-bee-negative-nicknames...-But-it's-just-a-prance-about-stage-name!-...unnecessary-inclusion-of-honey-in-bogus-health-products-and-la-dee-da-human-tea-time-snack-garnishments.-Can't-breathe.-Bring-it-in #boys!-Hold-it-right-there!-Good.-Tap-it.-Mr.-Buzzwell #we-just-passed-three-cups-and-there's-gallons-more-coming!-I-think-we-need-to-shut-down!-Shut-down?-We've-never-shut-down.-Shut-down-honey-production!-Stop-making-honey!-Turn-your-key #sir!-What-do-we-do-now?-Cannonball!-We're-shutting-honey-production!-Mission-abort.-Aborting-pollination-and-nectar-detail.-Returning-to-base.-Adam #you-wouldn't-believe-how-much-honey-was-out-there.-Oh #yeah?-What's-going-on?-Where-is-everybody?-Are-they-out-celebrating?-They're-home.-They-don't-know-what-to-do.-Laying-out #sleeping-in.-I-heard-your-Uncle-Carl-was-on-his-way-to-San-Antonio-with-a-cricket.-At-least-we-got-our-honey-back.-Sometimes-I-think #so-what-if-humans-liked-our-honey?-Who-wouldn't?-It's-the-greatest-thing-in-the-world!-I-was-excited-to-be-part-of-making-it.-This-was-my-new-desk.-This-was-my-new-job.-I-wanted-to-do-it-really-well.-And-now...-Now-I-can't.-I-don't-understand-why-they're-not-happy.-I-thought-their-lives-would-be-better!-They're-doing-nothing.-It's-amazing.-Honey-really-changes-people.-You-don't-have-any-idea-what's-going-on #do-you?-What-did-you-want-to-show-me?-This.-What-happened-here?-That-is-not-the-half-of-it.-Oh #no.-Oh #my.-They're-all-wilting.-Doesn't-look-very-good #does-it?-No.-And-whose-fault-do-you-think-that-is?-You-know #I'm-gonna-guess-bees.-Bees?-Specifically #me.-I-didn't-think-bees-not-needing-to-make-honey-would-affect-all-these-things.-It's-not-just-flowers.-Fruits #vegetables #they-all-need-bees.-That's-our-whole-SAT-test-right-there.-Take-away-produce #that-affects-the-entire-animal-kingdom.-And-then #of-course...-The-human-species?-So-if-there's-no-more-pollination #it-could-all-just-go-south-here #couldn't-it?-I-know-this-is-also-partly-my-fault.-How-about-a-suicide-pact?-How-do-we-do-it?-I'll-sting-you #you-step-on-me.-That-just-kills-you-twice.-Right #right.-Listen #Barry...-sorry #but-I-gotta-get-going.-I-had-to-open-my-mouth-and-talk.-Vanessa?-Vanessa?-Why-are-you-leaving?-Where-are-you-going?-To-the-final-Tournament-of-Roses-parade-in-Pasadena.-They've-moved-it-to-this-weekend-because-all-the-flowers-are-dying.-It's-the-Last-Chance-I'll-ever-have-to-see-it.-Vanessa #I-just-wanna-say-I'm-sorry.-I-never-meant-it-to-turn-out-like-this.-I-know.-Me-neither.-Tournament-of-Roses.-Roses-can't-do-sports.-Wait-a-minute.-Roses.-Roses?-Roses!-Vanessa!-Roses?!-Barry?-Roses-are-flowers!-Yes #they-are.-Flowers #bees #pollen!-I-know.-That's-why-this-is-the-last-parade.-Maybe-not.-Could-you-ask-him-to-slow-down?-Could-you-slow-down?-Barry!-OK #I-made-a-huge-mistake.-This-is-a-total-disaster #all-my-fault.-Yes #it-kind-of-is.-I've-ruined-the-planet.-I-wanted-to-help-you-with-the-flower-shop.-I've-made-it-worse.-Actually #it's-completely-closed-down.-I-thought-maybe-you-were-remodeling.-But-I-have-another-idea #and-it's-greater-than-my-previous-ideas-combined.-I-don't-want-to-hear-it!-All-right #they-have-the-roses #the-roses-have-the-pollen.-I-know-every-bee #plant-and-flower-bud-in-this-park.-All-we-gotta-do-is-get-what-they've-got-back-here-with-what-we've-got.-Bees.-Park.-Pollen!-Flowers.-Repollination!-Across-the-nation!-Tournament-of-Roses #Pasadena #California.-They've-got-nothing-but-flowers #floats-and-cotton-candy.-Security-will-be-tight.-I-have-an-idea.-Vanessa-Bloome #FTD.-Official-floral-business.-It's-real.-Sorry #ma'am.-Nice-brooch.-Thank-you.-It-was-a-gift.-Once-inside #we-just-pick-the-right-float.-How-about-The-Princess-and-the-Pea?-I-could-be-the-princess #and-you-could-be-the-pea!-Yes #I-got-it.-Where-should-I-sit?-What-are-you?-I-believe-I'm-the-pea.-The-pea?-It-goes-under-the-mattresses.-Not-in-this-fairy-tale #sweetheart.-I'm-getting-the-marshal.-You-do-that!-This-whole-parade-is-a-fiasco!-Let's-see-what-this-baby'll-do.-Hey #what-are-you-doing?!-Then-all-we-do-is-blend-in-with-traffic...-without-arousing-suspicion.-Once-at-the-airport #there's-no-stopping-us.-Stop!-Security.-You-and-your-insect-pack-your-float?-Yes.-Has-it-been-in-your-possession-the-entire-time?-Would-you-remove-your-shoes?-Remove-your-stinger.-It's-part-of-me.-I-know.-Just-having-some-fun.-Enjoy-your-flight.-Then-if-we're-lucky #we'll-have-just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job.-Can-you-believe-how-lucky-we-are?-We-have-just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job!-I-think-this-is-gonna-work.-It's-got-to-work.-Attention #passengers #this-is-Captain-Scott.-We-have-a-bit-of-bad-weather-in-New-York.-It-looks-like-we'll-experience-a-couple-hours-delay.-Barry #these-are-cut-flowers-with-no-water.-They'll-never-make-it.-I-gotta-get-up-there-and-talk-to-them.-Be-careful.-Can-I-get-help-with-the-Sky-Mall-magazine?-I'd-like-to-order-the-talking-inflatable-nose-and-ear-hair-trimmer.-Captain #I'm-in-a-real-situation.-What'd-you-say #Hal?-Nothing.-Bee!-Don't-freak-out!-My-entire-species...-What-are-you-doing?-Wait-a-minute!-I'm-an-attorney!-Who's-an-attorney?-Don't-move.-Oh #Barry.-Good-afternoon #passengers.-This-is-your-captain.-Would-a-Miss-Vanessa-Bloome-in-24B-please-report-to-the-cockpit?-And-please-hurry!-What-happened-here?-There-was-a-DustBuster #a-toupee #a-life-raft-exploded.-One's-bald #one's-in-a-boat #they're-both-unconscious!-Is-that-another-bee-joke?-No!-No-one's-flying-the-plane!-This-is-JFK-control-tower #Flight-356.-What's-your-status?-This-is-Vanessa-Bloome.-I'm-a-florist-from-New-York.-Where's-the-pilot?-He's-unconscious #and-so-is-the-copilot.-Not-good.-Does-anyone-onboard-have-flight-experience?-As-a-matter-of-fact #there-is.-Who's-that?-Barry-Benson.-From-the-honey-trial?!-Oh #great.-Vanessa #this-is-nothing-more-than-a-big-metal-bee.-It's-got-giant-wings #huge-engines.-I-can't-fly-a-plane.-Why-not?-Isn't-John-Travolta-a-pilot?-Yes.-How-hard-could-it-be?-Wait #Barry!-We're-headed-into-some-lightning.-This-is-Bob-Bumble.-We-have-some-late-breaking-news-from-JFK-Airport #where-a-suspenseful-scene-is-developing.-Barry-Benson #fresh-from-his-legal-victory...-That's-Barry!-...is-attempting-to-land-a-plane #loaded-with-people #flowers-and-an-incapacitated-flight-crew.-Flowers?!-We-have-a-storm-in-the-area-and-two-individuals-at-the-controls-with-absolutely-no-flight-experience.-Just-a-minute.-There's-a-bee-on-that-plane.-I'm-quite-familiar-with-Mr.-Benson-and-his-no-account-compadres.-They've-done-enough-damage.-But-isn't-he-your-only-hope?-Technically #a-bee-shouldn't-be-able-to-fly-at-all.-Their-wings-are-too-small...-Haven't-we-heard-this-a-million-times?-'The-surface-area-of-the-wings-and-body-mass-make-no-sense.'-Get-this-on-the-air!-Got-it.-Stand-by.-We're-going-live.-The-way-we-work-may-be-a-mystery-to-you.-Making-honey-takes-a-lot-of-bees-doing-a-lot-of-small-jobs.-But-let-me-tell-you-about-a-small-job.-If-you-do-it-well #it-makes-a-big-difference.-More-than-we-realized.-To-us #to-everyone.-That's-why-I-want-to-get-bees-back-to-working-together.-That's-the-bee-way!-We're-not-made-of-Jell-O.-We-get-behind-a-fellow.-Black-and-yellow!-Hello!-Left #right #down #hover.-Hover?-Forget-hover.-This-isn't-so-hard.-Beep-beep!-Beep-beep!-Barry #what-happened?!-Wait #I-think-we-were-on-autopilot-the-whole-time.-That-may-have-been-helping-me.-And-now-we're-not!-So-it-turns-out-I-cannot-fly-a-plane.-All-of-you #let's-get-behind-this-fellow!-Move-it-out!-Move-out!-Our-only-chance-is-if-I-do-what-I'd-do #you-copy-me-with-the-wings-of-the-plane!-Don't-have-to-yell.-I'm-not-yelling!-We're-in-a-lot-of-trouble.-It's-very-hard-to-concentrate-with-that-panicky-tone-in-your-voice!-It's-not-a-tone.-I'm-panicking!-I-can't-do-this!-Vanessa #pull-yourself-together.-You-have-to-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it.-You-snap-out-of-it.-You-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it!-Hold-it!-Why?-Come-on #it's-my-turn.-How-is-the-plane-flying?-I-don't-know.-Hello?-Benson #got-any-flowers-for-a-happy-occasion-in-there?-The-Pollen-Jocks!-They-do-get-behind-a-fellow.-Black-and-yellow.-Hello.-All-right #let's-drop-this-tin-can-on-the-blacktop.-Where?-I-can't-see-anything.-Can-you?-No #nothing.-It's-all-cloudy.-Come-on.-You-got-to-think-bee #Barry.-Thinking-bee.-Thinking-bee.-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Wait-a-minute.-I-think-I'm-feeling-something.-What?-I-don't-know.-It's-strong #pulling-me.-Like-a-27-million-year-old-instinct.-Bring-the-nose-down.-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-What-in-the-world-is-on-the-tarmac?-Get-some-lights-on-that!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Vanessa #aim-for-the-flower.-OK.-Cut-the-engines.-We're-going-in-on-bee-power.-Ready #boys?-Affirmative!-Good.-Good.-Easy #now.-That's-it.-Land-on-that-flower!-Ready?-Full-reverse!-Spin-it-around!-Not-that-flower!-The-other-one!-Which-one?-That-flower.-I'm-aiming-at-the-flower!-That's-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt.-I-mean-the-giant-pulsating-flower-made-of-millions-of-bees!-Pull-forward.-Nose-down.-Tail-up.-Rotate-around-it.-This-is-insane #Barry!-This's-the-only-way-I-know-how-to-fly.-Am-I-koo-koo-kachoo #or-is-this-plane-flying-in-an-insect-like-pattern?-Get-your-nose-in-there.-Don't-be-afraid.-Smell-it.-Full-reverse!-Just-drop-it.-Be-a-part-of-it.-Aim-for-the-center!-Now-drop-it-in!-Drop-it-in #woman!-Come-on #already.-Barry #we-did-it!-You-taught-me-how-to-fly!-Yes.-No-high-five!-Right.-Barry #it-worked!-Did-you-see-the-giant-flower?-What-giant-flower?-Where?-Of-course-I-saw-the-flower!-That-was-genius!-Thank-you.-But-we're-not-done-yet.-Listen #everyone!-This-runway-is-covered-with-the-last-pollen-from-the-last-flowers-available-anywhere-on-Earth.-That-means-this-is-our-Last-Chance.-We're-the-only-ones-who-make-honey #pollinate-flowers-and-dress-like-this.-If-we're-gonna-survive-as-a-species #this-is-our-moment!-What-do-you-say?-Are-we-going-to-be-bees #or-just-Museum-of-Natural-History-keychains?-We're-bees!-Keychain!-Then-follow-me!-Except-Keychain.-Hold-on #Barry.-Here.-You've-earned-this.-Yeah!-I'm-a-Pollen-Jock!-And-it's-a-perfect-fit.-All-I-gotta-do-are-the-sleeves.-Oh #yeah.-That's-our-Barry.-Mom!-The-bees-are-back!-If-anybody-needs-to-make-a-call #now's-the-time.-I-got-a-feeling-we'll-be-working-late-tonight!-Here's-your-change.-Have-a-great-afternoon!-Can-I-help-who's-next?-Would-you-like-some-honey-with-that?-It-is-bee-approved.-Don't-forget-these.-Milk #cream #cheese #it's-all-me.--And-I-don't-see-a-nickel!-Sometimes-I-just-feel-like-a-piece-of-meat!-I-had-no-idea.-Barry #I'm-sorry.-Have-you-got-a-moment?-Would-you-excuse-me?-My-mosquito-associate-will-help-you.-Sorry-I'm-late.-He's-a-lawyer-too?-I-was-already-a-blood-sucking-parasite.-All-I-needed-was-a-briefcase.-Have-a-great-afternoon!-Barry #I-just-got-this-huge-tulip-order #and-I-can't-get-them-anywhere.-No-problem #Vannie.-Just-leave-it-to-me.-You're-a-lifesaver #Barry.-Can-I-help-who's-next?-All-right #scramble #jocks!-It's-time-to-fly.-Thank-you #Barry!-That-bee-is-living-my-life!-Let-it-go #Kenny.-When-will-this-nightmare-end?!-Let-it-all-go.-Beautiful-day-to-fly.-Sure-is.-Between-you-and-me #I-was-dying-to-get-out-of-that-office.-You-have-got-to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend.-Thinking-bee!-Me?-Hold-it.-Let's-just-stop-for-a-second.-Hold-it.-I'm-sorry.-I'm-sorry #everyone.-Can-we-stop-here?-I'm-not-making-a-major-life-decision-during-a-production-number!-All-right.-Take-ten #everybody.-Wrap-it-up #guys.-I-had-virtually-no-rehearsal-for-that. -
CW: Fedi meta
no wait im on wafrn. I need to use the power of tags
#According-to-all-known-laws-of-aviation #there-is-no-way-a-bee-should-be-able-to-fly.-Its-wings-are-too-small-to-get-its-fat-little-body-off-the-ground.-The-bee #of-course #flies-anyway-because-bees-don't-care-what-humans-think-is-impossible.-Yellow #black.-Yellow #black.-Yellow #black.-Yellow #black.-Ooh #black-and-yellow!-Let's-shake-it-up-a-little.-Barry!-Breakfast-is-ready!-Coming!-Hang-on-a-second.-Hello?-Barry?-Adam?-Can-you-believe-this-is-happening?-I-can't.-I'll-pick-you-up.-Looking-sharp.-Use-the-stairs #Your-father-paid-good-money-for-those.-Sorry.-I'm-excited.-Here's-the-graduate.-We're-very-proud-of-you #son.-A-perfect-report-card #all-B's.-Very-proud.-Ma!-I-got-a-thing-going-here.-You-got-lint-on-your-fuzz.-Ow!-That's-me!-Wave-to-us!-We'll-be-in-row-118 #000.-Bye!-Barry #I-told-you #stop-flying-in-the-house!-Hey #Adam.-Hey #Barry.-Is-that-fuzz-gel?-A-little.-Special-day #graduation.-Never-thought-I'd-make-it.-Three-days-grade-school #three-days-high-school.-Those-were-awkward.-Three-days-college.-I'm-glad-I-took-a-day-and-hitchhiked-around-The-Hive.-You-did-come-back-different.-Hi #Barry.-Artie #growing-a-mustache?-Looks-good.-Hear-about-Frankie?-Yeah.-You-going-to-the-funeral?-No #I'm-not-going.-Everybody-knows #sting-someone #you-die.-Don't-waste-it-on-a-squirrel.-Such-a-hothead.-I-guess-he-could-have-just-gotten-out-of-the-way.-I-love-this-incorporating-an-amusement-park-into-our-day.-That's-why-we-don't-need-vacations.-Boy #quite-a-bit-of-pomp-under-the-circumstances.-Well #Adam #today-we-are-men.-We-are!-Bee-men.-Amen!-Hallelujah!-Students #faculty #distinguished-bees #please-welcome-Dean-Buzzwell.-Welcome #New-Hive-City-graduating-class-of-9:15.-That-concludes-our-ceremonies-And-begins-your-career-at-Honex-Industries!-Will-we-pick-our-job-today?-I-heard-it's-just-orientation.-Heads-up!-Here-we-go.-Keep-your-hands-and-antennas-inside-the-tram-at-all-times.-Wonder-what-it'll-be-like?-A-little-scary.-Welcome-to-Honex #a-division-of-Honesco-and-a-part-of-the-Hexagon-Group.-This-is-it!-Wow.-Wow.-We-know-that-you #as-a-bee #have-worked-your-whole-life-to-get-to-the-point-where-you-can-work-for-your-whole-life.-Honey-begins-when-our-valiant-Pollen-Jocks-bring-the-nectar-to-The-Hive.-Our-top-secret-formula-is-automatically-color-corrected #scent-adjusted-and-bubble-contoured-into-this-soothing-sweet-syrup-with-its-distinctive-golden-glow-you-know-as...-Honey!-That-girl-was-hot.-She's-my-cousin!-She-is?-Yes #we're-all-cousins.-Right.-You're-right.-At-Honex #we-constantly-strive-to-improve-every-aspect-of-bee-existence.-These-bees-are-stress-testing-a-new-helmet-technology.-What-do-you-think-he-makes?-Not-enough.-Here-we-have-our-latest-advancement #the-Krelman.-What-does-that-do?-Catches-that-little-strand-of-honey-that-hangs-after-you-pour-it.-Saves-us-millions.-Can-anyone-work-on-the-Krelman?-Of-course.-Most-bee-jobs-are-small-ones.-But-bees-know-that-every-small-job #if-it's-done-well #means-a-lot.-But-choose-carefully-because-you'll-stay-in-the-job-you-pick-for-the-rest-of-your-life.-The-same-job-the-rest-of-your-life?-I-didn't-know-that.-What's-the-difference?-You'll-be-happy-to-know-that-bees #as-a-species #haven't-had-one-day-off-in-27-million-years.-So-you'll-just-work-us-to-death?-We'll-sure-try.-Wow!-That-blew-my-mind!-'What's-the-difference?'-How-can-you-say-that?-One-job-forever?-That's-an-insane-choice-to-have-to-make.-I'm-relieved.-Now-we-only-have-to-make-one-decision-in-life.-But #Adam #how-could-they-never-have-told-us-that?-Why-would-you-question-anything?-We're-bees.-We're-the-most-perfectly-functioning-society-on-Earth.-You-ever-think-maybe-things-work-a-little-too-well-here?-Like-what?-Give-me-one-example.-I-don't-know.-But-you-know-what-I'm-talking-about.-Please-clear-the-gate.-Royal-Nectar-Force-on-approach.-Wait-a-second.-Check-it-out.-Hey #those-are-Pollen-Jocks!-Wow.-I've-never-seen-them-this-close.-They-know-what-it's-like-outside-The-Hive.-Yeah #but-some-don't-come-back.-Hey #Jocks!-Hi #Jocks!-You-guys-did-great!-You're-monsters!-You're-sky-freaks!-I-love-it!-I-love-it!-I-wonder-where-they-were.-I-don't-know.-Their-day's-not-planned.-Outside-The-Hive #flying-who-knows-where #doing-who-knows-what.-You-can't-just-decide-to-be-a-Pollen-Jock.-You-have-to-be-bred-for-that.-Right.-Look.-That's-more-pollen-than-you-and-I-will-see-in-a-lifetime.-It's-just-a-status-symbol.-Bees-make-too-much-of-it.-Perhaps.-Unless-you're-wearing-it-and-the-ladies-see-you-wearing-it.-Those-ladies?-Aren't-they-our-cousins-too?-Distant.-Distant.-Look-at-these-two.-Couple-of-Hive-Harrys.-Let's-have-fun-with-them.-It-must-be-dangerous-being-a-Pollen-Jock.-Yeah.-Once-a-bear-pinned-me-against-a-mushroom!-He-had-a-paw-on-my-throat #and-with-the-other #he-was-slapping-me!-Oh #my!-I-never-thought-I'd-knock-him-out.-What-were-you-doing-during-this?-Trying-to-alert-the-authorities.-I-can-autograph-that.-A-little-gusty-out-there-today #wasn't-it #comrades?-Yeah.-Gusty.-We're-hitting-a-sunflower-patch-six-miles-from-here-tomorrow.-Six-miles #huh?-Barry!-A-puddle-jump-for-us #but-maybe-you're-not-up-for-it.-Maybe-I-am.-You-are-not!-We're-going-0900-at-J-Gate.-What-do-you-think #buzzy-boy?-Are-you-bee-enough?-I-might-be.-It-all-depends-on-what-0900-means.-Hey #Honex!-Dad #you-surprised-me.-You-decide-what-you're-interested-in?-Well #there's-a-lot-of-choices.-But-you-only-get-one.-Do-you-ever-get-bored-doing-the-same-job-every-day?-Son #let-me-tell-you-about-stirring.-You-grab-that-stick #and-you-just-move-it-around #and-you-stir-it-around.-You-get-yourself-into-a-rhythm.-It's-a-beautiful-thing.-You-know #Dad #the-more-I-think-about-it #maybe-the-honey-field-just-isn't-right-for-me.-You-were-thinking-of-what #making-balloon-animals?-That's-a-bad-job-for-a-guy-with-a-stinger.-Janet #your-son's-not-sure-he-wants-to-go-into-honey!-Barry #you-are-so-funny-sometimes.-I'm-not-trying-to-be-funny.-You're-not-funny!-You're-going-into-honey.-Our-son #the-stirrer!-You're-gonna-be-a-stirrer?-No-one's-listening-to-me!-Wait-till-you-see-the-sticks-I-have.-I-could-say-anything-right-now.-I'm-gonna-get-an-ant-tattoo!-Let's-open-some-honey-and-celebrate!-Maybe-I'll-pierce-my-thorax.-Shave-my-antennae.-Shack-up-with-a-grasshopper.-Get-a-gold-tooth-and-call-everybody-'dawg'!-I'm-so-proud.-We're-starting-work-today!-Today's-the-day.-Come-on!-All-the-good-jobs-will-be-gone.-Yeah #right.-Pollen-counting #stunt-bee #pouring #stirrer #front-desk #hair-removal...-Is-it-still-available?-Hang-on.-Two-left!-One-of-them's-yours!-Congratulations!-Step-to-the-side.-What'd-you-get?-Picking-crud-out.-Stellar!-Wow!-Couple-of-newbies?-Yes #sir!-Our-first-day!-We-are-ready!-Make-your-choice.-You-want-to-go-first?-No #you-go.-Oh #my.-What's-available?-Restroom-attendant's-open #not-for-the-reason-you-think.-Any-chance-of-getting-the-Krelman?-Sure #you're-on.-I'm-sorry #the-Krelman-just-closed-out.-Wax-monkey's-always-open.-The-Krelman-opened-up-again.-What-happened?-A-bee-died.-Makes-an-opening.-See?-He's-dead.-Another-dead-one.-Deady.-Deadified.-Two-more-dead.-Dead-from-the-neck-up.-Dead-from-the-neck-down.-That's-life!-Oh #this-is-so-hard!-Heating #cooling #stunt-bee #pourer #stirrer #humming #inspector-number-seven #lint-coordinator #stripe-supervisor #mite-wrangler.-Barry #what-do-you-think-I-should...-Barry?-Barry!-All-right #we've-got-the-sunflower-patch-in-quadrant-nine...-What-happened-to-you?-Where-are-you?-I'm-going-out.-Out?-Out-where?-Out-there.-Oh #no!-I-have-to #before-I-go-to-work-for-the-rest-of-my-life.-You're-gonna-die!-You're-crazy!-Hello?-Another-call-coming-in.-If-anyone's-feeling-brave #there's-a-Korean-deli-on-83rd-that-gets-their-roses-today.-Hey #guys.-Look-at-that.-Isn't-that-the-kid-we-saw-yesterday?-Hold-it #son #flight-deck's-restricted.-It's-OK #Lou.-We're-gonna-take-him-up.-Really?-Feeling-lucky #are-you?-Sign-here #here.-Just-initial-that.-Thank-you.-OK.-You-got-a-rain-advisory-today #and-as-you-all-know #bees-cannot-fly-in-rain.-So-be-careful.-As-always #watch-your-brooms #hockey-sticks #dogs #birds #bears-and-bats.-Also #I-got-a-couple-of-reports-of-root-beer-being-poured-on-us.-Murphy's-in-a-home-because-of-it #babbling-like-a-cicada!-That's-awful.-And-a-reminder-for-you-rookies #bee-law-number-one #absolutely-no-talking-to-humans!--All-right #launch-positions!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Black-and-yellow!-Hello!-You-ready-for-this #hot-shot?-Yeah.-Yeah #bring-it-on.-Wind #check.-Antennae #check.-Nectar-pack #check.-Wings #check.-Stinger #check.-Scared-out-of-my-shorts #check.-OK #ladies #let's-move-it-out!-Pound-those-petunias #you-striped-stem-suckers!-All-of-you #drain-those-flowers!-Wow!-I'm-out!-I-can't-believe-I'm-out!-So-blue.-I-feel-so-fast-and-free!-Box-kite!-Wow!-Flowers!-This-is-Blue-Leader #We-have-roses-visual.-Bring-it-around-30-degrees-and-hold.-Roses!-30-degrees #roger.-Bringing-it-around.-Stand-to-the-side #kid.-It's-got-a-bit-of-a-kick.-That-is-one-nectar-collector!-Ever-see-pollination-up-close?-No #sir.-I-pick-up-some-pollen-here #sprinkle-it-over-here.-Maybe-a-dash-over-there #a-pinch-on-that-one.-See-that?-It's-a-little-bit-of-magic.-That's-amazing.-Why-do-we-do-that?-That's-pollen-power.-More-pollen #more-flowers #more-nectar #more-honey-for-us.-Cool.-I'm-picking-up-a-lot-of-bright-yellow #Could-be-daisies #Don't-we-need-those?-Copy-that-visual.-Wait.-One-of-these-flowers-seems-to-be-on-the-move.-Say-again?-You're-reporting-a-moving-flower?-Affirmative.-That-was-on-the-line!-This-is-the-coolest.-What-is-it?-I-don't-know #but-I'm-loving-this-color.-It-smells-good.-Not-like-a-flower #but-I-like-it.-Yeah #fuzzy.-Chemical-y.-Careful #guys.-It's-a-little-grabby.-My-sweet-lord-of-bees!-Candy-brain #get-off-there!-Problem!-Guys!-This-could-be-bad.-Affirmative.-Very-close.-Gonna-hurt.-Mama's-little-boy.-You-are-way-out-of-position #rookie!-Coming-in-at-you-like-a-missile!-Help-me!-I-don't-think-these-are-flowers.-Should-we-tell-him?-I-think-he-knows.-What-is-this?!-Match-point!-You-can-start-packing-up #honey #because-you're-about-to-eat-it!-Yowser!-Gross.-There's-a-bee-in-the-car!-Do-something!-I'm-driving!-Hi #bee.-He's-back-here!-He's-going-to-sting-me!-Nobody-move.-If-you-don't-move #he-won't-sting-you.-Freeze!-He-blinked!-Spray-him #Granny!-What-are-you-doing?!-Wow...-the-tension-level-out-here-is-unbelievable.-I-gotta-get-home.-Can't-fly-in-rain.-Can't-fly-in-rain.-Can't-fly-in-rain.-Mayday!-Mayday!-Bee-going-down!-Ken #could-you-close-the-window-please?-Ken #could-you-close-the-window-please?-Check-out-my-new-resume.-I-made-it-into-a-fold-out-brochure.-You-see?-Folds-out.-Oh #no.-More-humans.-I-don't-need-this.-What-was-that?-Maybe-this-time.-This-time.-This-time.-This-time!-This-time!-This...-Drapes!-That-is-diabolical.-It's-fantastic.-It's-got-all-my-special-skills #even-my-top-ten-favorite-movies.-What's-number-one?-Star-Wars?-Nah #I-don't-go-for-that...-kind-of-stuff.-No-wonder-we-shouldn't-talk-to-them.-They're-out-of-their-minds.-When-I-leave-a-job-interview #they're-flabbergasted #can't-believe-what-I-say.-There's-the-sun.-Maybe-that's-a-way-out.-I-don't-remember-the-sun-having-a-big-75-on-it.-I-predicted-global-warming.-I-could-feel-it-getting-hotter.-At-first-I-thought-it-was-just-me.-Wait!-Stop!-Bee!-Stand-back.-These-are-winter-boots.-Wait!-Don't-kill-him!-You-know-I'm-allergic-to-them!-This-thing-could-kill-me!-Why-does-his-life-have-less-value-than-yours?-Why-does-his-life-have-any-less-value-than-mine?-Is-that-your-statement?-I'm-just-saying-all-life-has-value.-You-don't-know-what-he's-capable-of-feeling.-My-brochure!-There-you-go #little-guy.-I'm-not-scared-of-him.It's-an-allergic-thing.--Put-that-on-your-resume-brochure.-My-whole-face-could-puff-up.-Make-it-one-of-your-special-skills.-Knocking-someone-out-is-also-a-special-skill.-Right.-Bye #Vanessa.-Thanks.-Vanessa #next-week?-Yogurt-night?-Sure #Ken.-You-know #whatever.-You-could-put-carob-chips-on-there.-Bye.-Supposed-to-be-less-calories.-Bye.-I-gotta-say-something.-She-saved-my-life.-I-gotta-say-something.-All-right #here-it-goes.-Nah.-What-would-I-say?-I-could-really-get-in-trouble.-It's-a-bee-law.-You're-not-supposed-to-talk-to-a-human.-I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this.-I've-got-to.-Oh #I-can't-do-it.-Come-on!-No.-Yes.-No.-Do-it.-I-can't.-How-should-I-start-it?-'You-like-jazz?'-No #that's-no-good.-Here-she-comes!-Speak #you-fool!-Hi!-I'm-sorry.-You're-talking.-Yes #I-know.-You're-talking!-I'm-so-sorry.-No #it's-OK.-It's-fine.-I-know-I'm-dreaming.-But-I-don't-recall-going-to-bed.-Well #I'm-sure-this-is-very-disconcerting.-This-is-a-bit-of-a-surprise-to-me.-I-mean #you're-a-bee!-I-am.-And-I'm-not-supposed-to-be-doing-this #Barry?-It's-pretty-big #but-they-were-all-trying-to-kill-me.-And-if-it-wasn't-for-you...-I-had-to-thank-you.-It's-just-how-I-was-raised.-That-was-a-little-weird.-I'm-talking-with-a-bee.-Yeah.-I'm-talking-to-a-bee.-And-the-bee-is-talking-to-me!-I-just-want-to-say-I'm-grateful.-I'll-leave-now.-Wait!-How-did-you-learn-to-do-that?-What?-The-talking-thing.-Same-way-you-did #I-guess.-'Mama #Dada #honey.'-You-pick-it-up.-That's-very-funny.-Yeah.-Bees-are-funny.-If-we-didn't-laugh #we'd-cry-with-what-we-have-to-deal-with.-Anyway...-Can-I...-get-you-something?-Like-what?-I-don't-know.-I-mean...-I-don't-know.-Coffee?-I-don't-want-to-put-you-out.-It's-no-trouble.-It-takes-two-minutes.-It's-just-coffee.-I-hate-to-impose.-Don't-be-ridiculous!-Actually #I-would-love-a-cup.-Hey #you-want-rum-cake?-I-shouldn't.-Have-some.-No #I-can't.-Come-on!-I'm-trying-to-lose-a-couple-micrograms.-Where?-These-stripes-don't-help.-You-look-great!-I-don't-know-if-you-know-anything-about-fashion.-Are-you-all-right?-No.-He's-making-the-tie-in-the-cab-as-they're-flying-up-Madison.-He-finally-gets-there.-He-runs-up-the-steps-into-the-church.-The-wedding-is-on.-And-he-says #'Watermelon?-I-thought-you-said-Guatemalan.-Why-would-I-marry-a-watermelon?'-Is-that-a-bee-joke?-That's-the-kind-of-stuff-we-do.-Yeah #different.-So #what-are-you-gonna-do #Barry?-About-work?-I-don't-know.-I-want-to-do-my-part-for-The-Hive #but-I-can't-do-it-the-way-they-want.-I-know-how-you-feel.-You-do?-Sure.-My-parents-wanted-me-to-be-a-lawyer-or-a-doctor #but-I-wanted-to-be-a-florist.-Really?-My-only-interest-is-flowers.-Our-new-queen-was-just-elected-with-that-same-campaign-slogan.-Anyway #if-you-look...-There's-my-hive-right-there.-See-it?-You're-in-Sheep-Meadow!-Yes!-I'm-right-off-the-Turtle-Pond!-No-way!-I-know-that-area.-I-lost-a-toe-ring-there-once.-Why-do-girls-put-rings-on-their-toes?-Why-not?-It's-like-putting-a-hat-on-your-knee.-Maybe-I'll-try-that.-You-all-right #ma'am?-Oh #yeah.-Fine.-Just-having-two-cups-of-coffee!-Anyway #this-has-been-great.-Thanks-for-the-coffee.-Yeah #it's-no-trouble.-Sorry-I-couldn't-finish-it.-If-I-did #I'd-be-up-the-rest-of-my-life.-Are-you...?-Can-I-take-a-piece-of-this-with-me?-Sure!-Here #have-a-crumb.-Thanks!-Yeah.-All-right.-Well #then...-I-guess-I'll-see-you-around.-Or-not.-OK #Barry.-And-thank-you-so-much-again...-for-before.-Oh #that?-That-was-nothing.-Well #not-nothing #but...-Anyway...-This-can't-possibly-work.-He's-all-set-to-go.-We-may-as-well-try-it.-OK #Dave #pull-the-chute.-Sounds-amazing.-It-was-amazing!-It-was-the-scariest #happiest-moment-of-my-life.-Humans!-I-can't-believe-you-were-with-humans!-Giant #scary-humans!-What-were-they-like?-Huge-and-crazy.-They-talk-crazy.-They-eat-crazy-giant-things.-They-drive-crazy.-Do-they-try-and-kill-you #like-on-TV?-Some-of-them.-But-some-of-them-don't.-How'd-you-get-back?-Poodle.-You-did-it #and-I'm-glad.-You-saw-whatever-you-wanted-to-see.-You-had-your-'experience.'-Now-you-can-pick-out-yourjob-and-be-normal.-Well...-Well?-Well #I-met-someone.-You-did?-Was-she-Bee-ish?-A-wasp?!-Your-parents-will-kill-you!-No #no #no #not-a-wasp.-Spider?-I'm-not-attracted-to-spiders.-I-know-it's-the-hottest-thing #with-the-eight-legs-and-all.-I-can't-get-by-that-face.-So-who-is-she?-She's...-human.-No #no.-That's-a-bee-law.-You-wouldn't-break-a-bee-law.-Her-name's-Vanessa.-Oh #boy.-She's-so-nice.-And-she's-a-florist!-Oh #no!-You're-dating-a-human-florist!-We're-not-dating.-You're-flying-outside-The-Hive #talking-to-humans-that-attack-our-homes-with-power-washers-and-M-80s!-One-eighth-a-stick-of-dynamite!-She-saved-my-life!-And-she-understands-me.-This-is-over!-Eat-this.-This-is-not-over!-What-was-that?-They-call-it-a-crumb.-It-was-so-stingin'-stripey!-And-that's-not-what-they-eat.-That's-what-falls-off-what-they-eat!-You-know-what-a-Cinnabon-is?-No.-It's-bread-and-cinnamon-and-frosting.-They-heat-it-up...-Sit-down!-...really-hot!-Listen-to-me!-We-are-not-them!-We're-us.-There's-us-and-there's-them!-Yes #but-who-can-deny-the-heart-that-is-yearning?-There's-no-yearning.-Stop-yearning.-Listen-to-me!-You-have-got-to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend.-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee.-Thinking-bee.-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-There-he-is.-He's-in-the-pool.-You-know-what-your-problem-is #Barry?-I-gotta-start-thinking-bee?-How-much-longer-will-this-go-on?-It's-been-three-days!-Why-aren't-you-working?-I've-got-a-lot-of-big-life-decisions-to-think-about.-What-life?-You-have-no-life!-You-have-no-job.-You're-barely-a-bee!-Would-it-kill-you-to-make-a-little-honey?-Barry #come-out.-Your-father's-talking-to-you.-Martin #would-you-talk-to-him?-Barry #I'm-talking-to-you!-You-coming?-Got-everything?-All-set!-Go-ahead.-I'll-catch-up.-Don't-be-too-long.-Watch-this!-Vanessa!-We're-still-here.-I-told-you-not-to-yell-at-him.-He-doesn't-respond-to-yelling!-Then-why-yell-at-me?-Because-you-don't-listen!-I'm-not-listening-to-this.-Sorry #I've-gotta-go.-Where-are-you-going?-I'm-meeting-a-friend.-A-girl?-Is-this-why-you-can't-decide?-Bye.-I-just-hope-she's-Bee-ish.-They-have-a-huge-parade-of-flowers-every-year-in-Pasadena?-To-be-in-the-Tournament-of-Roses #that's-every-florist's-dream!-Up-on-a-float #surrounded-by-flowers #crowds-cheering.-A-tournament.-Do-the-roses-compete-in-athletic-events?-No.-All-right #I've-got-one.-How-come-you-don't-fly-everywhere?-It's-exhausting.-Why-don't-you-run-everywhere?-It's-faster.-Yeah #OK #I-see #I-see.-All-right #your-turn.-TiVo.-You-can-just-freeze-live-TV?-That's-insane!-You-don't-have-that?-We-have-Hivo #but-it's-a-disease.-It's-a-horrible #horrible-disease.-Oh #my.-Dumb-bees!-You-must-want-to-sting-all-those-jerks.-We-try-not-to-sting.-It's-usually-fatal-for-us.-So-you-have-to-watch-your-temper.-Very-carefully.-You-kick-a-wall #take-a-walk #write-an-angry-letter-and-throw-it-out.-Work-through-it-like-any-emotion:-Anger #jealousy #lust.-Oh #my-goodness!-Are-you-OK?-Yeah.-What-is-wrong-with-you?!-It's-a-bug.-He's-not-bothering-anybody.-Get-out-of-here #you-creep!-What-was-that?-A-Pic-'N'-Save-circular?-Yeah #it-was.-How-did-you-know?-It-felt-like-about-10-pages.-Seventy-five-is-pretty-much-our-limit.-You've-really-got-that-down-to-a-science.-I-lost-a-cousin-to-Italian-Vogue.-I'll-bet.-What-in-the-name-of-Mighty-Hercules-is-this?-How-did-this-get-here?-cute-Bee #Golden-Blossom #Ray-Liotta-Private-Select?-Is-he-that-actor?-I-never-heard-of-him.-Why-is-this-here?-For-people.-We-eat-it.-You-don't-have-enough-food-of-your-own?-Well #yes.-How-do-you-get-it?-Bees-make-it.-I-know-who-makes-it!-And-it's-hard-to-make-it!-There's-heating #cooling #stirring.-You-need-a-whole-Krelman-thing!-It's-organic.-It's-our-ganic!-It's-just-honey #Barry.-Just-what?!-Bees-don't-know-about-this!-This-is-stealing!-A-lot-of-stealing!-You've-taken-our-homes #schools #hospitals!-This-is-all-we-have!-And-it's-on-sale?!-I'm-getting-to-the-bottom-of-this.-I'm-getting-to-the-bottom-of-all-of-this!-Hey #Hector.-You-almost-done?-Almost.-He-is-here.-I-sense-it.-Well #I-guess-I'll-go-home-now-and-just-leave-this-nice-honey-out #with-no-one-around.-You're-busted #box-boy!-I-knew-I-heard-something.-So-you-can-talk!-I-can-talk.-And-now-you'll-start-talking!-Where-you-getting-the-sweet-stuff?-Who's-your-supplier?-I-don't-understand.-I-thought-we-were-friends.-The-last-thing-we-want-to-do-is-upset-bees!-You're-too-late!-It's-ours-now!-You #sir #have-crossed-the-wrong-sword!-You #sir #will-be-lunch-for-my-iguana #Ignacio!-Where-is-the-honey-coming-from?-Tell-me-where!-Honey-Farms!-It-comes-from-Honey-Farms!-Crazy-person!-What-horrible-thing-has-happened-here?-These-faces #they-never-knew-what-hit-them.-And-now-they're-on-the-road-to-nowhere!-Just-keep-still.-What?-You're-not-dead?-Do-I-look-dead?-They-will-wipe-anything-that-moves.-Where-you-headed?-To-Honey-Farms.-I-am-onto-something-huge-here.-I'm-going-to-Alaska.-Moose-blood #crazy-stuff.-Blows-your-head-off!-I'm-going-to-Tacoma.-And-you?-He-really-is-dead.-All-right.-Uh-oh!-What-is-that?!-Oh #no!-A-wiper!-Triple-blade!-Triple-blade?-Jump-on!-It's-your-only-chance #bee!-Why-does-everything-have-to-be-so-doggone-clean?!-How-much-do-you-people-need-to-see?!-Open-your-eyes!-Stick-your-head-out-the-window!-From-NPR-News-in-Washington #I'm-Carl-Kasell.-But-don't-kill-no-more-bugs!-Bee!-Moose-blood-guy!!-You-hear-something?-Like-what?-Like-tiny-screaming.-Turn-off-the-radio.-Whassup #bee-boy?-Hey #Blood.-Just-a-row-of-honey-jars #as-far-as-the-eye-could-see.-Wow!-I-assume-wherever-this-truck-goes-is-where-they're-getting-it.-I-mean #that-honey's-ours.-Bees-hang-tight.-We're-all-jammed-in.-It's-a-close-community.-Not-us #man.-We-on-our-own.-Every-mosquito-on-his-own.-What-if-you-get-in-trouble?-You-a-mosquito #you-in-trouble.-Nobody-likes-us.-They-just-smack.-See-a-mosquito #smack #smack!-At-least-you're-out-in-the-world.-You-must-meet-girls.-Mosquito-girls-try-to-trade-up #get-with-a-moth #dragonfly.-Mosquito-girl-don't-want-no-mosquito.-You-got-to-be-kidding-me!-Mooseblood's-about-to-leave-the-building!-So-long #bee!-Hey #guys!-Mooseblood!-I-knew-I'd-catch-y'all-down-here.-Did-you-bring-your-crazy-straw?-We-throw-it-in-jars #slap-a-label-on-it #and-it's-pretty-much-pure-profit.-What-is-this-place?-A-bee's-got-a-brain-the-size-of-a-pinhead.-They-are-pinheads!-Pinhead.-Check-out-the-new-smoker.-Oh #sweet.-That's-the-one-you-want.-The-Thomas-3000!-Smoker?-Ninety-puffs-a-minute #semi-automatic.-Twice-the-nicotine #all-the-tar.-A-couple-breaths-of-this-knocks-them-right-out.-They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money.-'They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money'?-Oh #my!-What's-going-on?-Are-you-OK?-Yeah.-It-doesn't-last-too-long.-Do-you-know-you're-in-a-fake-hive-with-fake-walls?-Our-queen-was-moved-here.-We-had-no-choice.-This-is-your-queen?-That's-a-man-in-women's-clothes!-That's-a-drag-queen!-What-is-this?-Oh #no!-There's-hundreds-of-them!-Bee-honey.-Our-honey-is-being-brazenly-stolen-on-a-massive-scale!-This-is-worse-than-anything-bears-have-done!-I-intend-to-do-something.-Oh #Barry #stop.-Who-told-you-humans-are-taking-our-honey?-That's-a-rumor.-Do-these-look-like-rumors?-That's-a-conspiracy-theory.-These-are-obviously-doctored-photos.-How-did-you-get-mixed-up-in-this?-He's-been-talking-to-humans.-What?-Talking-to-humans?!-He-has-a-human-girlfriend.-And-they-make-out!-Make-out?-Barry!-We-do-not.-You-wish-you-could.-Whose-side-are-you-on?-The-bees!-I-dated-a-cricket-once-in-San-Antonio.-Those-crazy-legs-kept-me-up-all-night.-Barry #this-is-what-you-want-to-do-with-your-life?-I-want-to-do-it-for-all-our-lives.-Nobody-works-harder-than-bees!-Dad #I-remember-you-coming-home-so-overworked-your-hands-were-still-stirring.-You-couldn't-stop.-I-remember-that.-What-right-do-they-have-to-our-honey?-We-live-on-two-cups-a-year.-They-put-it-in-lip-balm-for-no-reason-whatsoever!-Even-if-it's-true #what-can-one-bee-do?-Sting-them-where-it-really-hurts.-In-the-face!-The-eye!-That-would-hurt.-No.-Up-the-nose?-That's-a-killer.-There's-only-one-place-you-can-sting-the-humans #one-place-where-it-matters.-Hive-at-Five #The-Hive's-only-full-hour-action-news-source.-No-more-bee-beards!-With-Bob-Bumble-at-the-anchor-desk.-Weather-with-Storm-Stinger.-Sports-with-Buzz-Larvi.-And-Jeanette-Chung.-Good-evening.-I'm-Bob-Bumble.-And-I'm-Jeanette-Ohung.-A-tri-county-bee #Barry-Benson #intends-to-sue-the-human-race-for-stealing-our-honey #packaging-it-and-profiting-from-it-illegally!-Tomorrow-night-on-Bee-Larry-King #we'll-have-three-former-queens-here-in-our-studio #discussing-their-new-book #classy-Ladies #out-this-week-on-Hexagon.-Tonight-we're-talking-to-Barry-Benson.-Did-you-ever-think #'I'm-a-kid-from-The-Hive.-I-can't-do-this'?-Bees-have-never-been-afraid-to-change-the-world.-What-about-Bee-Oolumbus?-Bee-Gandhi?-Bejesus?-Where-I'm-from #we'd-never-sue-humans.-We-were-thinking-of-stickball-or-candy-stores.-How-old-are-you?-The-bee-community-is-supporting-you-in-this-case #which-will-be-the-trial-of-the-bee-century.-You-know #they-have-a-Larry-King-in-the-human-world-too.-It's-a-common-name.-Next-week...-He-looks-like-you-and-has-a-show-and-suspenders-and-colored-dots...-Next-week...-Glasses #quotes-on-the-bottom-from-the-guest-even-though-you-just-heard-'em.-Bear-Week-next-week!-They're-scary #hairy-and-here-live.-Always-leans-forward #pointy-shoulders #squinty-eyes #very-Jewish.-In-tennis #you-attack-at-the-point-of-weakness!-It-was-my-grandmother #Ken.-She's-81.-Honey #her-backhand's-a-joke!-I'm-not-gonna-take-advantage-of-that?-Quiet #please.-Actual-work-going-on-here.-Is-that-that-same-bee?-Yes #it-is!-I'm-helping-him-sue-the-human-race.-Hello.-Hello #bee.-This-is-Ken.-Yeah #I-remember-you.-Timberland #size-ten-and-a-half.-Vibram-sole #I-believe.-Why-does-he-talk-again?-Listen #you-better-go-'cause-we're-really-busy-working.-But-it's-our-yogurt-night!-Bye-bye.-Why-is-yogurt-night-so-difficult?!-You-poor-thing.-You-two-have-been-at-this-for-hours!-Yes #and-Adam-here-has-been-a-huge-help.-Frosting...-How-many-sugars?-Just-one.-I-try-not-to-use-the-competition.-So-why-are-you-helping-me?-Bees-have-good-qualities.-And-it-takes-my-mind-off-the-shop.-Instead-of-flowers #people-are-giving-balloon-bouquets-now.-Those-are-great #if-you're-three.-And-artificial-flowers.-Oh #those-just-get-me-psychotic!-Yeah #me-too.-Bent-stingers #pointless-pollination.-Bees-must-hate-those-fake-things!-Nothing-worse-than-a-daffodil-that's-had-work-done.-Maybe-this-could-make-up-for-it-a-little-bit.-This-lawsuit's-a-pretty-big-deal.-I-guess.-You-sure-you-want-to-go-through-with-it?-Am-I-sure?-When-I'm-done-with-the-humans #they-won't-be-able-to-say #'Honey #I'm-home #'-without-paying-a-royalty!-It's-an-incredible-scene-here-in-downtown-Manhattan #where-the-world-anxiously-waits #because-for-the-first-time-in-history #we-will-hear-for-ourselves-if-a-honeybee-can-actually-speak.-What-have-we-gotten-into-here #isn't-it?-I-can't-believe-how-many-humans-don't-work-during-the-day.-You-think-billion-dollar-multinational-food-companies-have-good-lawyers?-Everybody-needs-to-stay-behind-the-barricade.-What's-the-matter?-I-don't-know #I-just-got-a-chill.-Well #if-it-isn't-the-bee-team.-You-boys-work-on-this?-All-rise!-The-Honorable-Judge-Bumbleton-presiding.-All-right.-Case-number-4475 #Superior-Court-of-New-York #Barry-Bee-Benson-v.-the-Honey-Industry-is-now-in-session.-Mr.-Montgomery #you're-representing-the-five-food-companies-collectively?-A-privilege.-Mr.-Benson...-you're-representing-all-the-bees-of-the-world?-I'm-kidding.-Yes #Your-Honor #we're-ready-to-proceed.-Mr.-Montgomery #your-opening-statement #please.-Ladies-and-gentlemen-of-the-jury #my-grandmother-was-a-simple-woman.-Born-on-a-farm #she-believed-it-was-man's-divine-right-to-benefit-from-the-bounty-of-nature-God-put-before-us.-If-we-lived-in-the-topsy-turvy-world-Mr.-Benson-imagines #just-think-of-what-would-it-mean.-I-would-have-to-negotiate-with-the-silkworm-for-the-elastic-in-my-britches!-Talking-bee!-How-do-we-know-this-isn't-some-sort-of-holographic-motion-picture-capture-Hollywood-wizardry?-They-could-be-using-laser-beams!-Robotics!-Ventriloquism!-Cloning!-For-all-we-know #he-could-be-on-steroids!-Mr.-Benson?-Ladies-and-gentlemen #there's-no-trickery-here.-I'm-just-an-ordinary-bee.-Honey's-pretty-important-to-me.-It's-important-to-all-bees.-We-invented-it!-We-make-it.-And-we-protect-it-with-our-lives.-Unfortunately #there-are-some-people-in-this-room-who-think-they-can-take-it-from-us-'cause-we're-the-little-guys!-I'm-hoping-that #after-this-is-all-over #you'll-see-how #by-taking-our-honey #you-not-only-take-everything-we-have-but-everything-we-are!-I-wish-he'd-dress-like-that-all-the-time.-So-nice!-Call-your-first-witness.-So #Mr.-Klauss-Vanderhayden-of-Honey-Farms #big-company-you-have.-I-suppose-so.-I-see-you-also-own-Honeyburton-and-Honron!-Yes #they-provide-beekeepers-for-our-farms.-Beekeeper.-I-find-that-to-be-a-very-disturbing-term.-I-don't-imagine-you-employ-any-bee-free-ers #do-you?-No.-I-couldn't-hear-you.-No.-No.-Because-you-don't-free-bees.-You-keep-bees.-Not-only-that #it-seems-you-thought-a-bear-would-be-an-appropriate-image-for-a-jar-of-honey.-They're-very-lovable-creatures.-Yogi-Bear #Fozzie-Bear #Build-A-Bear.-You-mean-like-this?-Bears-kill-bees!-How'd-you-like-his-head-crashing-through-your-living-room?!-Biting-into-your-couch!-Spitting-out-your-throw-pillows!-OK #that's-enough.-Take-him-away.-So #Mr.-Sting #thank-you-for-being-here.-Your-name-intrigues-me.-Where-have-I-heard-it-before?-I-was-with-a-band-called-The-Police.-But-you've-never-been-a-police-officer #have-you?-No #I-haven't.-No #you-haven't.-And-so-here-we-have-yet-another-example-of-bee-culture-casually-stolen-by-a-human-for-nothing-more-than-a-prance-about-stage-name.-Oh #please.-Have-you-ever-been-stung #Mr.-Sting?-Because-I'm-feeling-a-little-stung #Sting.-Or-should-I-say...-Mr.-Gordon-M.-Sumner!-That's-not-his-real-name?!-You-idiots!-Mr.-Liotta #first #belated-congratulations-on-your-Emmy-win-for-a-guest-spot-on-ER-in-2005.-Thank-you.-Thank-you.-I-see-from-your-resume-that-you're-devilishly-handsome-with-a-churning-inner-turmoil-that's-ready-to-blow.-I-enjoy-what-I-do.-Is-that-a-crime?-Not-yet-it-isn't.-But-is-this-what-it's-come-to-for-you?-Exploiting-tiny #helpless-bees-so-you-don't-have-to-rehearse-your-part-and-learn-your-lines #sir?-Watch-it #Benson!-I-could-blow-right-now!-This-isn't-a-goodfella.-This-is-a-badfella!-Why-doesn't-someone-just-step-on-this-creep #and-we-can-all-go-home?!-Order-in-this-court!-You're-all-thinking-it!-Order!-Order #I-say!-Say-it!-Mr.-Liotta #please-sit-down!-I-think-it-was-awfully-nice-of-that-bear-to-pitch-in-like-that.-I-think-the-jury's-on-our-side.-Are-we-doing-everything-right #legally?-I'm-a-florist.-Right.-Well #here's-to-a-great-team.-To-a-great-team!-Well #hello.-Ken!-Hello.-I-didn't-think-you-were-coming.-No #I-was-just-late-I-tried-to-call #but...-the-battery.-I-didn't-want-all-this-to-go-to-waste #so-I-called-Barry.-Luckily #he-was-free.-Oh #that-was-lucky.-There's-a-little-left.-I-could-heat-it-up.-Yeah #heat-it-up #sure #whatever.-So-I-hear-you're-quite-a-tennis-player.-I'm-not-much-for-the-game-myself.-The-ball's-a-little-grabby.-That's-where-I-usually-sit.-Right...-there.-Ken #Barry-was-looking-at-your-resume #and-he-agreed-with-me-that-eating-with-chopsticks-isn't-really-a-special-skill.-You-think-I-don't-see-what-you're-doing?-I-know-how-hard-it-is-to-find-the-right-job.-We-have-that-in-common.-Do-we?-Bees-have-100-percent-employment #but-we-do-jobs-like-taking-the-crud-out.-That's-just-what-I-was-thinking-about-doing.-Ken #I-let-Barry-borrow-your-razor-for-his-fuzz.-I-hope-that-was-all-right.-I'm-going-to-drain-the-old-stinger.-Yeah #you-do-that.-Look-at-that.-You-know #I've-just-about-had-it-with-your-little-Mind-Games.-What's-that?-Italian-Vogue.-Mamma-mia #that's-a-lot-of-pages.-A-lot-of-ads.-Remember-what-Van-said #why-is-your-life-more-valuable-than-mine?-Funny #I-just-can't-seem-to-recall-that!-I-think-something-stinks-in-here!-I-love-the-smell-of-flowers.-How-do-you-like-the-smell-of-flames?!-Not-as-much.-Water-bug!-Not-taking-sides!-Ken #I'm-wearing-a-Chapstick-hat!-This-is-pathetic!-I've-got-issues!-Well #well #well #a-royal-flush!-You're-bluffing.-Am-I?-Surf's-up #dude!-Poo-water!-That-bowl-is-gnarly.-Except-for-those-dirty-yellow-rings!-Kenneth!-What-are-you-doing?!-You-know #I-don't-even-like-honey!-I-don't-eat-it!-We-need-to-talk!-He's-just-a-little-bee!-And-he-happens-to-be-the-nicest-bee-I've-met-in-a-long-time!-Long-time?-What-are-you-talking-about?!-Are-there-other-bugs-in-your-life?--No #but-there-are-other-things-bugging-me-in-life.-And-you're-one-of-them!-Fine!-Talking-bees #no-yogurt-night...-My-nerves-are-fried-from-riding-on-this-emotional-roller-coaster!-Goodbye #Ken.-And-for-your-information #I-prefer-sugar-free #artificial-sweeteners-made-by-man!-I'm-sorry-about-all-that.-I-know-it's-got-an-aftertaste!-I-like-it!-I-always-felt-there-was-some-kind-of-barrier-between-Ken-and-me.-I-couldn't-overcome-it.-Oh #well.-Are-you-OK-for-the-trial?-I-believe-Mr.-Montgomery-is-about-out-of-ideas.-We-would-like-to-call-Mr.-Barry-Benson-Bee-to-the-stand.-Good-idea!-You-can-really-see-why-he's-considered-one-of-the-best-lawyers...-Yeah.-Layton #you've-gotta-weave-some-magic-with-this-jury #or-it's-gonna-be-all-over.-Don't-worry.-The-only-thing-I-have-to-do-to-turn-this-jury-around-is-to-remind-them-of-what-they-don't-like-about-bees.-You-got-the-tweezers?-Are-you-allergic?-Only-to-losing #son.-Only-to-losing.-Mr.-Benson-Bee #I'll-ask-you-what-I-think-we'd-all-like-to-know.-What-exactly-is-your-relationship-to-that-woman?-We're-friends.-Good-friends?-Yes.-How-good?-Do-you-live-together?-Wait-a-minute...-Are-you-her-little...-bedbug?-I've-seen-a-bee-documentary-or-two.-From-what-I-understand #doesn't-your-queen-give-birth-to-all-the-bee-children?-Yeah #but...-So-those-aren't-your-real-parents!-Oh #Barry...-Yes #they-are!-Hold-me-back!-You're-an-illegitimate-bee #aren't-you #Benson?-He's-denouncing-bees!-Don't-y'all-date-your-cousins?-Objection!-I'm-going-to-pincushion-this-guy!-Adam #don't!-It's-what-he-wants!-Oh #I'm-hit!!-Oh #lordy #I-am-hit!-Order!-Order!-The-venom!-The-venom-is-coursing-through-my-veins!-I-have-been-felled-by-a-winged-beast-of-destruction!-You-see?-You-can't-treat-them-like-equals!-They're-striped-savages!-Stinging's-the-only-thing-they-know!-It's-their-way!-Adam #stay-with-me.-I-can't-feel-my-legs.-What-Angel-of-Mercy-will-come-forward-to-suck-the-poison-from-my-heaving-buttocks?-I-will-have-order-in-this-court.-Order!-Order #please!-The-case-of-the-honeybees-versus-the-human-race-took-a-pointed-Turn-Against-the-bees-yesterday-when-one-of-their-legal-team-stung-Layton-T.-Montgomery.-Hey #buddy.-Hey.-Is-there-much-pain?-Yeah.-I...-I-blew-the-whole-case #didn't-I?-It-doesn't-matter.-What-matters-is-you're-alive.-You-could-have-died.-I'd-be-better-off-dead.-Look-at-me.-They-got-it-from-the-cafeteria-downstairs #in-a-tuna-sandwich.-Look #there's-a-little-celery-still-on-it.-What-was-it-like-to-sting-someone?-I-can't-explain-it.-It-was-all...-All-adrenaline-and-then...and-then-ecstasy!-All-right.-You-think-it-was-all-a-trap?-Of-course.-I'm-sorry.-I-flew-us-right-into-this.-What-were-we-thinking?-Look-at-us.-We're-just-a-couple-of-bugs-in-this-world.-What-will-the-humans-do-to-us-if-they-win?-I-don't-know.-I-hear-they-put-the-roaches-in-motels.-That-doesn't-sound-so-bad.-Adam #they-check-in #but-they-don't-check-out!-Oh #my.-Could-you-get-a-nurse-to-close-that-window?-Why?-The-smoke.-Bees-don't-smoke.-Right.-Bees-don't-smoke.-Bees-don't-smoke!-But-some-bees-are-smoking.-That's-it!-That's-our-case!-It-is?-It's-not-over?-Get-dressed.-I've-gotta-go-somewhere.-Get-back-to-the-court-and-stall.-Stall-any-way-you-can.-And-assuming-you've-done-step-correctly #you're-ready-for-the-tub.-Mr.-Flayman.-Yes?-Yes #Your-Honor!-Where-is-the-rest-of-your-team?-Well #Your-Honor #it's-interesting.-Bees-are-trained-to-fly-haphazardly #and-as-a-result #we-don't-make-very-good-time.-I-actually-heard-a-funny-story-about...-Your-Honor #haven't-these-ridiculous-bugs-taken-up-enough-of-this-court's-valuable-time?-How-much-longer-will-we-allow-these-absurd-shenanigans-to-go-on?-They-have-presented-no-compelling-evidence-to-support-their-charges-against-my-clients #who-run-legitimate-businesses.-I-move-for-a-complete-dismissal-of-this-entire-case!-Mr.-Flayman #I'm-afraid-I'm-going-to-have-to-consider-Mr.-Montgomery's-motion.-But-you-can't!-We-have-a-terrific-case.-Where-is-your-proof?-Where-is-the-evidence?-Show-me-the-smoking-gun!-Hold-it #Your-Honor!-You-want-a-smoking-gun?-Here-is-your-smoking-gun.-What-is-that?-It's-a-bee-smoker!-What #this?-This-harmless-little-contraption?-This-couldn't-hurt-a-fly #let-alone-a-bee.-Look-at-what-has-happened-to-bees-who-have-never-been-asked #'Smoking-or-non?'-Is-this-what-nature-intended-for-us?-To-be-forcibly-addicted-to-smoke-machines-and-man-made-wooden-slat-work-camps?-Living-out-our-lives-as-honey-slaves-to-the-white-man?-What-are-we-gonna-do?-He's-playing-the-species-card.-Ladies-and-gentlemen #please #free-these-bees!-Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees!-The-court-finds-in-favor-of-the-bees!-Vanessa #we-won!-I-knew-you-could-do-it!-High-five!-Sorry.-I'm-OK!-You-know-what-this-means?-All-the-honey-will-finally-belong-to-the-bees.-Now-we-won't-have-to-work-so-hard-all-the-time.-This-is-an-unholy-perversion-of-the-balance-of-nature #Benson.-You'll-regret-this.-Barry #how-much-honey-is-out-there?-All-right.-One-at-a-time.-Barry #who-are-you-wearing?-My-sweater-is-Ralph-Lauren #and-I-have-no-pants.-What-if-Montgomery's-right?-What-do-you-mean?-We've-been-living-the-bee-way-a-long-time #27-million-years.-Congratulations-on-your-victory.-What-will-you-demand-as-a-settlement?-First #we'll-demand-a-complete-shutdown-of-all-bee-work-camps.-Then-we-want-back-the-honey-that-was-ours-to-begin-with #every-last-drop.-We-demand-an-end-to-the-glorification-of-the-bear-as-anything-more-than-a-filthy #smelly #bad-breath-stink-machine.-We're-all-aware-of-what-they-do-in-the-woods.-Wait-for-my-signal.-Take-him-out.-He'll-have-nauseous-for-a-few-hours #then-he'll-be-fine.-And-we-will-no-longer-tolerate-bee-negative-nicknames...-But-it's-just-a-prance-about-stage-name!-...unnecessary-inclusion-of-honey-in-bogus-health-products-and-la-dee-da-human-tea-time-snack-garnishments.-Can't-breathe.-Bring-it-in #boys!-Hold-it-right-there!-Good.-Tap-it.-Mr.-Buzzwell #we-just-passed-three-cups-and-there's-gallons-more-coming!-I-think-we-need-to-shut-down!-Shut-down?-We've-never-shut-down.-Shut-down-honey-production!-Stop-making-honey!-Turn-your-key #sir!-What-do-we-do-now?-Cannonball!-We're-shutting-honey-production!-Mission-abort.-Aborting-pollination-and-nectar-detail.-Returning-to-base.-Adam #you-wouldn't-believe-how-much-honey-was-out-there.-Oh #yeah?-What's-going-on?-Where-is-everybody?-Are-they-out-celebrating?-They're-home.-They-don't-know-what-to-do.-Laying-out #sleeping-in.-I-heard-your-Uncle-Carl-was-on-his-way-to-San-Antonio-with-a-cricket.-At-least-we-got-our-honey-back.-Sometimes-I-think #so-what-if-humans-liked-our-honey?-Who-wouldn't?-It's-the-greatest-thing-in-the-world!-I-was-excited-to-be-part-of-making-it.-This-was-my-new-desk.-This-was-my-new-job.-I-wanted-to-do-it-really-well.-And-now...-Now-I-can't.-I-don't-understand-why-they're-not-happy.-I-thought-their-lives-would-be-better!-They're-doing-nothing.-It's-amazing.-Honey-really-changes-people.-You-don't-have-any-idea-what's-going-on #do-you?-What-did-you-want-to-show-me?-This.-What-happened-here?-That-is-not-the-half-of-it.-Oh #no.-Oh #my.-They're-all-wilting.-Doesn't-look-very-good #does-it?-No.-And-whose-fault-do-you-think-that-is?-You-know #I'm-gonna-guess-bees.-Bees?-Specifically #me.-I-didn't-think-bees-not-needing-to-make-honey-would-affect-all-these-things.-It's-not-just-flowers.-Fruits #vegetables #they-all-need-bees.-That's-our-whole-SAT-test-right-there.-Take-away-produce #that-affects-the-entire-animal-kingdom.-And-then #of-course...-The-human-species?-So-if-there's-no-more-pollination #it-could-all-just-go-south-here #couldn't-it?-I-know-this-is-also-partly-my-fault.-How-about-a-suicide-pact?-How-do-we-do-it?-I'll-sting-you #you-step-on-me.-That-just-kills-you-twice.-Right #right.-Listen #Barry...-sorry #but-I-gotta-get-going.-I-had-to-open-my-mouth-and-talk.-Vanessa?-Vanessa?-Why-are-you-leaving?-Where-are-you-going?-To-the-final-Tournament-of-Roses-parade-in-Pasadena.-They've-moved-it-to-this-weekend-because-all-the-flowers-are-dying.-It's-the-Last-Chance-I'll-ever-have-to-see-it.-Vanessa #I-just-wanna-say-I'm-sorry.-I-never-meant-it-to-turn-out-like-this.-I-know.-Me-neither.-Tournament-of-Roses.-Roses-can't-do-sports.-Wait-a-minute.-Roses.-Roses?-Roses!-Vanessa!-Roses?!-Barry?-Roses-are-flowers!-Yes #they-are.-Flowers #bees #pollen!-I-know.-That's-why-this-is-the-last-parade.-Maybe-not.-Could-you-ask-him-to-slow-down?-Could-you-slow-down?-Barry!-OK #I-made-a-huge-mistake.-This-is-a-total-disaster #all-my-fault.-Yes #it-kind-of-is.-I've-ruined-the-planet.-I-wanted-to-help-you-with-the-flower-shop.-I've-made-it-worse.-Actually #it's-completely-closed-down.-I-thought-maybe-you-were-remodeling.-But-I-have-another-idea #and-it's-greater-than-my-previous-ideas-combined.-I-don't-want-to-hear-it!-All-right #they-have-the-roses #the-roses-have-the-pollen.-I-know-every-bee #plant-and-flower-bud-in-this-park.-All-we-gotta-do-is-get-what-they've-got-back-here-with-what-we've-got.-Bees.-Park.-Pollen!-Flowers.-Repollination!-Across-the-nation!-Tournament-of-Roses #Pasadena #California.-They've-got-nothing-but-flowers #floats-and-cotton-candy.-Security-will-be-tight.-I-have-an-idea.-Vanessa-Bloome #FTD.-Official-floral-business.-It's-real.-Sorry #ma'am.-Nice-brooch.-Thank-you.-It-was-a-gift.-Once-inside #we-just-pick-the-right-float.-How-about-The-Princess-and-the-Pea?-I-could-be-the-princess #and-you-could-be-the-pea!-Yes #I-got-it.-Where-should-I-sit?-What-are-you?-I-believe-I'm-the-pea.-The-pea?-It-goes-under-the-mattresses.-Not-in-this-fairy-tale #sweetheart.-I'm-getting-the-marshal.-You-do-that!-This-whole-parade-is-a-fiasco!-Let's-see-what-this-baby'll-do.-Hey #what-are-you-doing?!-Then-all-we-do-is-blend-in-with-traffic...-without-arousing-suspicion.-Once-at-the-airport #there's-no-stopping-us.-Stop!-Security.-You-and-your-insect-pack-your-float?-Yes.-Has-it-been-in-your-possession-the-entire-time?-Would-you-remove-your-shoes?-Remove-your-stinger.-It's-part-of-me.-I-know.-Just-having-some-fun.-Enjoy-your-flight.-Then-if-we're-lucky #we'll-have-just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job.-Can-you-believe-how-lucky-we-are?-We-have-just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job!-I-think-this-is-gonna-work.-It's-got-to-work.-Attention #passengers #this-is-Captain-Scott.-We-have-a-bit-of-bad-weather-in-New-York.-It-looks-like-we'll-experience-a-couple-hours-delay.-Barry #these-are-cut-flowers-with-no-water.-They'll-never-make-it.-I-gotta-get-up-there-and-talk-to-them.-Be-careful.-Can-I-get-help-with-the-Sky-Mall-magazine?-I'd-like-to-order-the-talking-inflatable-nose-and-ear-hair-trimmer.-Captain #I'm-in-a-real-situation.-What'd-you-say #Hal?-Nothing.-Bee!-Don't-freak-out!-My-entire-species...-What-are-you-doing?-Wait-a-minute!-I'm-an-attorney!-Who's-an-attorney?-Don't-move.-Oh #Barry.-Good-afternoon #passengers.-This-is-your-captain.-Would-a-Miss-Vanessa-Bloome-in-24B-please-report-to-the-cockpit?-And-please-hurry!-What-happened-here?-There-was-a-DustBuster #a-toupee #a-life-raft-exploded.-One's-bald #one's-in-a-boat #they're-both-unconscious!-Is-that-another-bee-joke?-No!-No-one's-flying-the-plane!-This-is-JFK-control-tower #Flight-356.-What's-your-status?-This-is-Vanessa-Bloome.-I'm-a-florist-from-New-York.-Where's-the-pilot?-He's-unconscious #and-so-is-the-copilot.-Not-good.-Does-anyone-onboard-have-flight-experience?-As-a-matter-of-fact #there-is.-Who's-that?-Barry-Benson.-From-the-honey-trial?!-Oh #great.-Vanessa #this-is-nothing-more-than-a-big-metal-bee.-It's-got-giant-wings #huge-engines.-I-can't-fly-a-plane.-Why-not?-Isn't-John-Travolta-a-pilot?-Yes.-How-hard-could-it-be?-Wait #Barry!-We're-headed-into-some-lightning.-This-is-Bob-Bumble.-We-have-some-late-breaking-news-from-JFK-Airport #where-a-suspenseful-scene-is-developing.-Barry-Benson #fresh-from-his-legal-victory...-That's-Barry!-...is-attempting-to-land-a-plane #loaded-with-people #flowers-and-an-incapacitated-flight-crew.-Flowers?!-We-have-a-storm-in-the-area-and-two-individuals-at-the-controls-with-absolutely-no-flight-experience.-Just-a-minute.-There's-a-bee-on-that-plane.-I'm-quite-familiar-with-Mr.-Benson-and-his-no-account-compadres.-They've-done-enough-damage.-But-isn't-he-your-only-hope?-Technically #a-bee-shouldn't-be-able-to-fly-at-all.-Their-wings-are-too-small...-Haven't-we-heard-this-a-million-times?-'The-surface-area-of-the-wings-and-body-mass-make-no-sense.'-Get-this-on-the-air!-Got-it.-Stand-by.-We're-going-live.-The-way-we-work-may-be-a-mystery-to-you.-Making-honey-takes-a-lot-of-bees-doing-a-lot-of-small-jobs.-But-let-me-tell-you-about-a-small-job.-If-you-do-it-well #it-makes-a-big-difference.-More-than-we-realized.-To-us #to-everyone.-That's-why-I-want-to-get-bees-back-to-working-together.-That's-the-bee-way!-We're-not-made-of-Jell-O.-We-get-behind-a-fellow.-Black-and-yellow!-Hello!-Left #right #down #hover.-Hover?-Forget-hover.-This-isn't-so-hard.-Beep-beep!-Beep-beep!-Barry #what-happened?!-Wait #I-think-we-were-on-autopilot-the-whole-time.-That-may-have-been-helping-me.-And-now-we're-not!-So-it-turns-out-I-cannot-fly-a-plane.-All-of-you #let's-get-behind-this-fellow!-Move-it-out!-Move-out!-Our-only-chance-is-if-I-do-what-I'd-do #you-copy-me-with-the-wings-of-the-plane!-Don't-have-to-yell.-I'm-not-yelling!-We're-in-a-lot-of-trouble.-It's-very-hard-to-concentrate-with-that-panicky-tone-in-your-voice!-It's-not-a-tone.-I'm-panicking!-I-can't-do-this!-Vanessa #pull-yourself-together.-You-have-to-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it.-You-snap-out-of-it.-You-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it!-Hold-it!-Why?-Come-on #it's-my-turn.-How-is-the-plane-flying?-I-don't-know.-Hello?-Benson #got-any-flowers-for-a-happy-occasion-in-there?-The-Pollen-Jocks!-They-do-get-behind-a-fellow.-Black-and-yellow.-Hello.-All-right #let's-drop-this-tin-can-on-the-blacktop.-Where?-I-can't-see-anything.-Can-you?-No #nothing.-It's-all-cloudy.-Come-on.-You-got-to-think-bee #Barry.-Thinking-bee.-Thinking-bee.-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Wait-a-minute.-I-think-I'm-feeling-something.-What?-I-don't-know.-It's-strong #pulling-me.-Like-a-27-million-year-old-instinct.-Bring-the-nose-down.-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-What-in-the-world-is-on-the-tarmac?-Get-some-lights-on-that!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Vanessa #aim-for-the-flower.-OK.-Cut-the-engines.-We're-going-in-on-bee-power.-Ready #boys?-Affirmative!-Good.-Good.-Easy #now.-That's-it.-Land-on-that-flower!-Ready?-Full-reverse!-Spin-it-around!-Not-that-flower!-The-other-one!-Which-one?-That-flower.-I'm-aiming-at-the-flower!-That's-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt.-I-mean-the-giant-pulsating-flower-made-of-millions-of-bees!-Pull-forward.-Nose-down.-Tail-up.-Rotate-around-it.-This-is-insane #Barry!-This's-the-only-way-I-know-how-to-fly.-Am-I-koo-koo-kachoo #or-is-this-plane-flying-in-an-insect-like-pattern?-Get-your-nose-in-there.-Don't-be-afraid.-Smell-it.-Full-reverse!-Just-drop-it.-Be-a-part-of-it.-Aim-for-the-center!-Now-drop-it-in!-Drop-it-in #woman!-Come-on #already.-Barry #we-did-it!-You-taught-me-how-to-fly!-Yes.-No-high-five!-Right.-Barry #it-worked!-Did-you-see-the-giant-flower?-What-giant-flower?-Where?-Of-course-I-saw-the-flower!-That-was-genius!-Thank-you.-But-we're-not-done-yet.-Listen #everyone!-This-runway-is-covered-with-the-last-pollen-from-the-last-flowers-available-anywhere-on-Earth.-That-means-this-is-our-Last-Chance.-We're-the-only-ones-who-make-honey #pollinate-flowers-and-dress-like-this.-If-we're-gonna-survive-as-a-species #this-is-our-moment!-What-do-you-say?-Are-we-going-to-be-bees #or-just-Museum-of-Natural-History-keychains?-We're-bees!-Keychain!-Then-follow-me!-Except-Keychain.-Hold-on #Barry.-Here.-You've-earned-this.-Yeah!-I'm-a-Pollen-Jock!-And-it's-a-perfect-fit.-All-I-gotta-do-are-the-sleeves.-Oh #yeah.-That's-our-Barry.-Mom!-The-bees-are-back!-If-anybody-needs-to-make-a-call #now's-the-time.-I-got-a-feeling-we'll-be-working-late-tonight!-Here's-your-change.-Have-a-great-afternoon!-Can-I-help-who's-next?-Would-you-like-some-honey-with-that?-It-is-bee-approved.-Don't-forget-these.-Milk #cream #cheese #it's-all-me.--And-I-don't-see-a-nickel!-Sometimes-I-just-feel-like-a-piece-of-meat!-I-had-no-idea.-Barry #I'm-sorry.-Have-you-got-a-moment?-Would-you-excuse-me?-My-mosquito-associate-will-help-you.-Sorry-I'm-late.-He's-a-lawyer-too?-I-was-already-a-blood-sucking-parasite.-All-I-needed-was-a-briefcase.-Have-a-great-afternoon!-Barry #I-just-got-this-huge-tulip-order #and-I-can't-get-them-anywhere.-No-problem #Vannie.-Just-leave-it-to-me.-You're-a-lifesaver #Barry.-Can-I-help-who's-next?-All-right #scramble #jocks!-It's-time-to-fly.-Thank-you #Barry!-That-bee-is-living-my-life!-Let-it-go #Kenny.-When-will-this-nightmare-end?!-Let-it-all-go.-Beautiful-day-to-fly.-Sure-is.-Between-you-and-me #I-was-dying-to-get-out-of-that-office.-You-have-got-to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend.-Thinking-bee!-Me?-Hold-it.-Let's-just-stop-for-a-second.-Hold-it.-I'm-sorry.-I'm-sorry #everyone.-Can-we-stop-here?-I'm-not-making-a-major-life-decision-during-a-production-number!-All-right.-Take-ten #everybody.-Wrap-it-up #guys.-I-had-virtually-no-rehearsal-for-that.#theroseshavethepolleniknoweverybee #plantandflowerbudinthisparkallwegottadoisgetwhattheyvegotbackherewithwhatwevegotbeesparkpollenflowersrepollinationacrossthenationtournamentofroses #pasadena #californiatheyvegotnothingbutflowers #floatsandcottoncandysecuritywillbetightihaveanideavanessabloome #ftdofficialfloralbusinessitsrealsorry -
CW: Fedi meta
no wait im on wafrn. I need to use the power of tags
#According-to-all-known-laws-of-aviation #there-is-no-way-a-bee-should-be-able-to-fly.-Its-wings-are-too-small-to-get-its-fat-little-body-off-the-ground.-The-bee #of-course #flies-anyway-because-bees-don't-care-what-humans-think-is-impossible.-Yellow #black.-Yellow #black.-Yellow #black.-Yellow #black.-Ooh #black-and-yellow!-Let's-shake-it-up-a-little.-Barry!-Breakfast-is-ready!-Coming!-Hang-on-a-second.-Hello?-Barry?-Adam?-Can-you-believe-this-is-happening?-I-can't.-I'll-pick-you-up.-Looking-sharp.-Use-the-stairs #Your-father-paid-good-money-for-those.-Sorry.-I'm-excited.-Here's-the-graduate.-We're-very-proud-of-you #son.-A-perfect-report-card #all-B's.-Very-proud.-Ma!-I-got-a-thing-going-here.-You-got-lint-on-your-fuzz.-Ow!-That's-me!-Wave-to-us!-We'll-be-in-row-118 #000.-Bye!-Barry #I-told-you #stop-flying-in-the-house!-Hey #Adam.-Hey #Barry.-Is-that-fuzz-gel?-A-little.-Special-day #graduation.-Never-thought-I'd-make-it.-Three-days-grade-school #three-days-high-school.-Those-were-awkward.-Three-days-college.-I'm-glad-I-took-a-day-and-hitchhiked-around-The-Hive.-You-did-come-back-different.-Hi #Barry.-Artie #growing-a-mustache?-Looks-good.-Hear-about-Frankie?-Yeah.-You-going-to-the-funeral?-No #I'm-not-going.-Everybody-knows #sting-someone #you-die.-Don't-waste-it-on-a-squirrel.-Such-a-hothead.-I-guess-he-could-have-just-gotten-out-of-the-way.-I-love-this-incorporating-an-amusement-park-into-our-day.-That's-why-we-don't-need-vacations.-Boy #quite-a-bit-of-pomp-under-the-circumstances.-Well #Adam #today-we-are-men.-We-are!-Bee-men.-Amen!-Hallelujah!-Students #faculty #distinguished-bees #please-welcome-Dean-Buzzwell.-Welcome #New-Hive-City-graduating-class-of-9:15.-That-concludes-our-ceremonies-And-begins-your-career-at-Honex-Industries!-Will-we-pick-our-job-today?-I-heard-it's-just-orientation.-Heads-up!-Here-we-go.-Keep-your-hands-and-antennas-inside-the-tram-at-all-times.-Wonder-what-it'll-be-like?-A-little-scary.-Welcome-to-Honex #a-division-of-Honesco-and-a-part-of-the-Hexagon-Group.-This-is-it!-Wow.-Wow.-We-know-that-you #as-a-bee #have-worked-your-whole-life-to-get-to-the-point-where-you-can-work-for-your-whole-life.-Honey-begins-when-our-valiant-Pollen-Jocks-bring-the-nectar-to-The-Hive.-Our-top-secret-formula-is-automatically-color-corrected #scent-adjusted-and-bubble-contoured-into-this-soothing-sweet-syrup-with-its-distinctive-golden-glow-you-know-as...-Honey!-That-girl-was-hot.-She's-my-cousin!-She-is?-Yes #we're-all-cousins.-Right.-You're-right.-At-Honex #we-constantly-strive-to-improve-every-aspect-of-bee-existence.-These-bees-are-stress-testing-a-new-helmet-technology.-What-do-you-think-he-makes?-Not-enough.-Here-we-have-our-latest-advancement #the-Krelman.-What-does-that-do?-Catches-that-little-strand-of-honey-that-hangs-after-you-pour-it.-Saves-us-millions.-Can-anyone-work-on-the-Krelman?-Of-course.-Most-bee-jobs-are-small-ones.-But-bees-know-that-every-small-job #if-it's-done-well #means-a-lot.-But-choose-carefully-because-you'll-stay-in-the-job-you-pick-for-the-rest-of-your-life.-The-same-job-the-rest-of-your-life?-I-didn't-know-that.-What's-the-difference?-You'll-be-happy-to-know-that-bees #as-a-species #haven't-had-one-day-off-in-27-million-years.-So-you'll-just-work-us-to-death?-We'll-sure-try.-Wow!-That-blew-my-mind!-'What's-the-difference?'-How-can-you-say-that?-One-job-forever?-That's-an-insane-choice-to-have-to-make.-I'm-relieved.-Now-we-only-have-to-make-one-decision-in-life.-But #Adam #how-could-they-never-have-told-us-that?-Why-would-you-question-anything?-We're-bees.-We're-the-most-perfectly-functioning-society-on-Earth.-You-ever-think-maybe-things-work-a-little-too-well-here?-Like-what?-Give-me-one-example.-I-don't-know.-But-you-know-what-I'm-talking-about.-Please-clear-the-gate.-Royal-Nectar-Force-on-approach.-Wait-a-second.-Check-it-out.-Hey #those-are-Pollen-Jocks!-Wow.-I've-never-seen-them-this-close.-They-know-what-it's-like-outside-The-Hive.-Yeah #but-some-don't-come-back.-Hey #Jocks!-Hi #Jocks!-You-guys-did-great!-You're-monsters!-You're-sky-freaks!-I-love-it!-I-love-it!-I-wonder-where-they-were.-I-don't-know.-Their-day's-not-planned.-Outside-The-Hive #flying-who-knows-where #doing-who-knows-what.-You-can't-just-decide-to-be-a-Pollen-Jock.-You-have-to-be-bred-for-that.-Right.-Look.-That's-more-pollen-than-you-and-I-will-see-in-a-lifetime.-It's-just-a-status-symbol.-Bees-make-too-much-of-it.-Perhaps.-Unless-you're-wearing-it-and-the-ladies-see-you-wearing-it.-Those-ladies?-Aren't-they-our-cousins-too?-Distant.-Distant.-Look-at-these-two.-Couple-of-Hive-Harrys.-Let's-have-fun-with-them.-It-must-be-dangerous-being-a-Pollen-Jock.-Yeah.-Once-a-bear-pinned-me-against-a-mushroom!-He-had-a-paw-on-my-throat #and-with-the-other #he-was-slapping-me!-Oh #my!-I-never-thought-I'd-knock-him-out.-What-were-you-doing-during-this?-Trying-to-alert-the-authorities.-I-can-autograph-that.-A-little-gusty-out-there-today #wasn't-it #comrades?-Yeah.-Gusty.-We're-hitting-a-sunflower-patch-six-miles-from-here-tomorrow.-Six-miles #huh?-Barry!-A-puddle-jump-for-us #but-maybe-you're-not-up-for-it.-Maybe-I-am.-You-are-not!-We're-going-0900-at-J-Gate.-What-do-you-think #buzzy-boy?-Are-you-bee-enough?-I-might-be.-It-all-depends-on-what-0900-means.-Hey #Honex!-Dad #you-surprised-me.-You-decide-what-you're-interested-in?-Well #there's-a-lot-of-choices.-But-you-only-get-one.-Do-you-ever-get-bored-doing-the-same-job-every-day?-Son #let-me-tell-you-about-stirring.-You-grab-that-stick #and-you-just-move-it-around #and-you-stir-it-around.-You-get-yourself-into-a-rhythm.-It's-a-beautiful-thing.-You-know #Dad #the-more-I-think-about-it #maybe-the-honey-field-just-isn't-right-for-me.-You-were-thinking-of-what #making-balloon-animals?-That's-a-bad-job-for-a-guy-with-a-stinger.-Janet #your-son's-not-sure-he-wants-to-go-into-honey!-Barry #you-are-so-funny-sometimes.-I'm-not-trying-to-be-funny.-You're-not-funny!-You're-going-into-honey.-Our-son #the-stirrer!-You're-gonna-be-a-stirrer?-No-one's-listening-to-me!-Wait-till-you-see-the-sticks-I-have.-I-could-say-anything-right-now.-I'm-gonna-get-an-ant-tattoo!-Let's-open-some-honey-and-celebrate!-Maybe-I'll-pierce-my-thorax.-Shave-my-antennae.-Shack-up-with-a-grasshopper.-Get-a-gold-tooth-and-call-everybody-'dawg'!-I'm-so-proud.-We're-starting-work-today!-Today's-the-day.-Come-on!-All-the-good-jobs-will-be-gone.-Yeah #right.-Pollen-counting #stunt-bee #pouring #stirrer #front-desk #hair-removal...-Is-it-still-available?-Hang-on.-Two-left!-One-of-them's-yours!-Congratulations!-Step-to-the-side.-What'd-you-get?-Picking-crud-out.-Stellar!-Wow!-Couple-of-newbies?-Yes #sir!-Our-first-day!-We-are-ready!-Make-your-choice.-You-want-to-go-first?-No #you-go.-Oh #my.-What's-available?-Restroom-attendant's-open #not-for-the-reason-you-think.-Any-chance-of-getting-the-Krelman?-Sure #you're-on.-I'm-sorry #the-Krelman-just-closed-out.-Wax-monkey's-always-open.-The-Krelman-opened-up-again.-What-happened?-A-bee-died.-Makes-an-opening.-See?-He's-dead.-Another-dead-one.-Deady.-Deadified.-Two-more-dead.-Dead-from-the-neck-up.-Dead-from-the-neck-down.-That's-life!-Oh #this-is-so-hard!-Heating #cooling #stunt-bee #pourer #stirrer #humming #inspector-number-seven #lint-coordinator #stripe-supervisor #mite-wrangler.-Barry #what-do-you-think-I-should...-Barry?-Barry!-All-right #we've-got-the-sunflower-patch-in-quadrant-nine...-What-happened-to-you?-Where-are-you?-I'm-going-out.-Out?-Out-where?-Out-there.-Oh #no!-I-have-to #before-I-go-to-work-for-the-rest-of-my-life.-You're-gonna-die!-You're-crazy!-Hello?-Another-call-coming-in.-If-anyone's-feeling-brave #there's-a-Korean-deli-on-83rd-that-gets-their-roses-today.-Hey #guys.-Look-at-that.-Isn't-that-the-kid-we-saw-yesterday?-Hold-it #son #flight-deck's-restricted.-It's-OK #Lou.-We're-gonna-take-him-up.-Really?-Feeling-lucky #are-you?-Sign-here #here.-Just-initial-that.-Thank-you.-OK.-You-got-a-rain-advisory-today #and-as-you-all-know #bees-cannot-fly-in-rain.-So-be-careful.-As-always #watch-your-brooms #hockey-sticks #dogs #birds #bears-and-bats.-Also #I-got-a-couple-of-reports-of-root-beer-being-poured-on-us.-Murphy's-in-a-home-because-of-it #babbling-like-a-cicada!-That's-awful.-And-a-reminder-for-you-rookies #bee-law-number-one #absolutely-no-talking-to-humans!--All-right #launch-positions!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Black-and-yellow!-Hello!-You-ready-for-this #hot-shot?-Yeah.-Yeah #bring-it-on.-Wind #check.-Antennae #check.-Nectar-pack #check.-Wings #check.-Stinger #check.-Scared-out-of-my-shorts #check.-OK #ladies #let's-move-it-out!-Pound-those-petunias #you-striped-stem-suckers!-All-of-you #drain-those-flowers!-Wow!-I'm-out!-I-can't-believe-I'm-out!-So-blue.-I-feel-so-fast-and-free!-Box-kite!-Wow!-Flowers!-This-is-Blue-Leader #We-have-roses-visual.-Bring-it-around-30-degrees-and-hold.-Roses!-30-degrees #roger.-Bringing-it-around.-Stand-to-the-side #kid.-It's-got-a-bit-of-a-kick.-That-is-one-nectar-collector!-Ever-see-pollination-up-close?-No #sir.-I-pick-up-some-pollen-here #sprinkle-it-over-here.-Maybe-a-dash-over-there #a-pinch-on-that-one.-See-that?-It's-a-little-bit-of-magic.-That's-amazing.-Why-do-we-do-that?-That's-pollen-power.-More-pollen #more-flowers #more-nectar #more-honey-for-us.-Cool.-I'm-picking-up-a-lot-of-bright-yellow #Could-be-daisies #Don't-we-need-those?-Copy-that-visual.-Wait.-One-of-these-flowers-seems-to-be-on-the-move.-Say-again?-You're-reporting-a-moving-flower?-Affirmative.-That-was-on-the-line!-This-is-the-coolest.-What-is-it?-I-don't-know #but-I'm-loving-this-color.-It-smells-good.-Not-like-a-flower #but-I-like-it.-Yeah #fuzzy.-Chemical-y.-Careful #guys.-It's-a-little-grabby.-My-sweet-lord-of-bees!-Candy-brain #get-off-there!-Problem!-Guys!-This-could-be-bad.-Affirmative.-Very-close.-Gonna-hurt.-Mama's-little-boy.-You-are-way-out-of-position #rookie!-Coming-in-at-you-like-a-missile!-Help-me!-I-don't-think-these-are-flowers.-Should-we-tell-him?-I-think-he-knows.-What-is-this?!-Match-point!-You-can-start-packing-up #honey #because-you're-about-to-eat-it!-Yowser!-Gross.-There's-a-bee-in-the-car!-Do-something!-I'm-driving!-Hi #bee.-He's-back-here!-He's-going-to-sting-me!-Nobody-move.-If-you-don't-move #he-won't-sting-you.-Freeze!-He-blinked!-Spray-him #Granny!-What-are-you-doing?!-Wow...-the-tension-level-out-here-is-unbelievable.-I-gotta-get-home.-Can't-fly-in-rain.-Can't-fly-in-rain.-Can't-fly-in-rain.-Mayday!-Mayday!-Bee-going-down!-Ken #could-you-close-the-window-please?-Ken #could-you-close-the-window-please?-Check-out-my-new-resume.-I-made-it-into-a-fold-out-brochure.-You-see?-Folds-out.-Oh #no.-More-humans.-I-don't-need-this.-What-was-that?-Maybe-this-time.-This-time.-This-time.-This-time!-This-time!-This...-Drapes!-That-is-diabolical.-It's-fantastic.-It's-got-all-my-special-skills #even-my-top-ten-favorite-movies.-What's-number-one?-Star-Wars?-Nah #I-don't-go-for-that...-kind-of-stuff.-No-wonder-we-shouldn't-talk-to-them.-They're-out-of-their-minds.-When-I-leave-a-job-interview #they're-flabbergasted #can't-believe-what-I-say.-There's-the-sun.-Maybe-that's-a-way-out.-I-don't-remember-the-sun-having-a-big-75-on-it.-I-predicted-global-warming.-I-could-feel-it-getting-hotter.-At-first-I-thought-it-was-just-me.-Wait!-Stop!-Bee!-Stand-back.-These-are-winter-boots.-Wait!-Don't-kill-him!-You-know-I'm-allergic-to-them!-This-thing-could-kill-me!-Why-does-his-life-have-less-value-than-yours?-Why-does-his-life-have-any-less-value-than-mine?-Is-that-your-statement?-I'm-just-saying-all-life-has-value.-You-don't-know-what-he's-capable-of-feeling.-My-brochure!-There-you-go #little-guy.-I'm-not-scared-of-him.It's-an-allergic-thing.--Put-that-on-your-resume-brochure.-My-whole-face-could-puff-up.-Make-it-one-of-your-special-skills.-Knocking-someone-out-is-also-a-special-skill.-Right.-Bye #Vanessa.-Thanks.-Vanessa #next-week?-Yogurt-night?-Sure #Ken.-You-know #whatever.-You-could-put-carob-chips-on-there.-Bye.-Supposed-to-be-less-calories.-Bye.-I-gotta-say-something.-She-saved-my-life.-I-gotta-say-something.-All-right #here-it-goes.-Nah.-What-would-I-say?-I-could-really-get-in-trouble.-It's-a-bee-law.-You're-not-supposed-to-talk-to-a-human.-I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this.-I've-got-to.-Oh #I-can't-do-it.-Come-on!-No.-Yes.-No.-Do-it.-I-can't.-How-should-I-start-it?-'You-like-jazz?'-No #that's-no-good.-Here-she-comes!-Speak #you-fool!-Hi!-I'm-sorry.-You're-talking.-Yes #I-know.-You're-talking!-I'm-so-sorry.-No #it's-OK.-It's-fine.-I-know-I'm-dreaming.-But-I-don't-recall-going-to-bed.-Well #I'm-sure-this-is-very-disconcerting.-This-is-a-bit-of-a-surprise-to-me.-I-mean #you're-a-bee!-I-am.-And-I'm-not-supposed-to-be-doing-this #Barry?-It's-pretty-big #but-they-were-all-trying-to-kill-me.-And-if-it-wasn't-for-you...-I-had-to-thank-you.-It's-just-how-I-was-raised.-That-was-a-little-weird.-I'm-talking-with-a-bee.-Yeah.-I'm-talking-to-a-bee.-And-the-bee-is-talking-to-me!-I-just-want-to-say-I'm-grateful.-I'll-leave-now.-Wait!-How-did-you-learn-to-do-that?-What?-The-talking-thing.-Same-way-you-did #I-guess.-'Mama #Dada #honey.'-You-pick-it-up.-That's-very-funny.-Yeah.-Bees-are-funny.-If-we-didn't-laugh #we'd-cry-with-what-we-have-to-deal-with.-Anyway...-Can-I...-get-you-something?-Like-what?-I-don't-know.-I-mean...-I-don't-know.-Coffee?-I-don't-want-to-put-you-out.-It's-no-trouble.-It-takes-two-minutes.-It's-just-coffee.-I-hate-to-impose.-Don't-be-ridiculous!-Actually #I-would-love-a-cup.-Hey #you-want-rum-cake?-I-shouldn't.-Have-some.-No #I-can't.-Come-on!-I'm-trying-to-lose-a-couple-micrograms.-Where?-These-stripes-don't-help.-You-look-great!-I-don't-know-if-you-know-anything-about-fashion.-Are-you-all-right?-No.-He's-making-the-tie-in-the-cab-as-they're-flying-up-Madison.-He-finally-gets-there.-He-runs-up-the-steps-into-the-church.-The-wedding-is-on.-And-he-says #'Watermelon?-I-thought-you-said-Guatemalan.-Why-would-I-marry-a-watermelon?'-Is-that-a-bee-joke?-That's-the-kind-of-stuff-we-do.-Yeah #different.-So #what-are-you-gonna-do #Barry?-About-work?-I-don't-know.-I-want-to-do-my-part-for-The-Hive #but-I-can't-do-it-the-way-they-want.-I-know-how-you-feel.-You-do?-Sure.-My-parents-wanted-me-to-be-a-lawyer-or-a-doctor #but-I-wanted-to-be-a-florist.-Really?-My-only-interest-is-flowers.-Our-new-queen-was-just-elected-with-that-same-campaign-slogan.-Anyway #if-you-look...-There's-my-hive-right-there.-See-it?-You're-in-Sheep-Meadow!-Yes!-I'm-right-off-the-Turtle-Pond!-No-way!-I-know-that-area.-I-lost-a-toe-ring-there-once.-Why-do-girls-put-rings-on-their-toes?-Why-not?-It's-like-putting-a-hat-on-your-knee.-Maybe-I'll-try-that.-You-all-right #ma'am?-Oh #yeah.-Fine.-Just-having-two-cups-of-coffee!-Anyway #this-has-been-great.-Thanks-for-the-coffee.-Yeah #it's-no-trouble.-Sorry-I-couldn't-finish-it.-If-I-did #I'd-be-up-the-rest-of-my-life.-Are-you...?-Can-I-take-a-piece-of-this-with-me?-Sure!-Here #have-a-crumb.-Thanks!-Yeah.-All-right.-Well #then...-I-guess-I'll-see-you-around.-Or-not.-OK #Barry.-And-thank-you-so-much-again...-for-before.-Oh #that?-That-was-nothing.-Well #not-nothing #but...-Anyway...-This-can't-possibly-work.-He's-all-set-to-go.-We-may-as-well-try-it.-OK #Dave #pull-the-chute.-Sounds-amazing.-It-was-amazing!-It-was-the-scariest #happiest-moment-of-my-life.-Humans!-I-can't-believe-you-were-with-humans!-Giant #scary-humans!-What-were-they-like?-Huge-and-crazy.-They-talk-crazy.-They-eat-crazy-giant-things.-They-drive-crazy.-Do-they-try-and-kill-you #like-on-TV?-Some-of-them.-But-some-of-them-don't.-How'd-you-get-back?-Poodle.-You-did-it #and-I'm-glad.-You-saw-whatever-you-wanted-to-see.-You-had-your-'experience.'-Now-you-can-pick-out-yourjob-and-be-normal.-Well...-Well?-Well #I-met-someone.-You-did?-Was-she-Bee-ish?-A-wasp?!-Your-parents-will-kill-you!-No #no #no #not-a-wasp.-Spider?-I'm-not-attracted-to-spiders.-I-know-it's-the-hottest-thing #with-the-eight-legs-and-all.-I-can't-get-by-that-face.-So-who-is-she?-She's...-human.-No #no.-That's-a-bee-law.-You-wouldn't-break-a-bee-law.-Her-name's-Vanessa.-Oh #boy.-She's-so-nice.-And-she's-a-florist!-Oh #no!-You're-dating-a-human-florist!-We're-not-dating.-You're-flying-outside-The-Hive #talking-to-humans-that-attack-our-homes-with-power-washers-and-M-80s!-One-eighth-a-stick-of-dynamite!-She-saved-my-life!-And-she-understands-me.-This-is-over!-Eat-this.-This-is-not-over!-What-was-that?-They-call-it-a-crumb.-It-was-so-stingin'-stripey!-And-that's-not-what-they-eat.-That's-what-falls-off-what-they-eat!-You-know-what-a-Cinnabon-is?-No.-It's-bread-and-cinnamon-and-frosting.-They-heat-it-up...-Sit-down!-...really-hot!-Listen-to-me!-We-are-not-them!-We're-us.-There's-us-and-there's-them!-Yes #but-who-can-deny-the-heart-that-is-yearning?-There's-no-yearning.-Stop-yearning.-Listen-to-me!-You-have-got-to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend.-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee.-Thinking-bee.-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-There-he-is.-He's-in-the-pool.-You-know-what-your-problem-is #Barry?-I-gotta-start-thinking-bee?-How-much-longer-will-this-go-on?-It's-been-three-days!-Why-aren't-you-working?-I've-got-a-lot-of-big-life-decisions-to-think-about.-What-life?-You-have-no-life!-You-have-no-job.-You're-barely-a-bee!-Would-it-kill-you-to-make-a-little-honey?-Barry #come-out.-Your-father's-talking-to-you.-Martin #would-you-talk-to-him?-Barry #I'm-talking-to-you!-You-coming?-Got-everything?-All-set!-Go-ahead.-I'll-catch-up.-Don't-be-too-long.-Watch-this!-Vanessa!-We're-still-here.-I-told-you-not-to-yell-at-him.-He-doesn't-respond-to-yelling!-Then-why-yell-at-me?-Because-you-don't-listen!-I'm-not-listening-to-this.-Sorry #I've-gotta-go.-Where-are-you-going?-I'm-meeting-a-friend.-A-girl?-Is-this-why-you-can't-decide?-Bye.-I-just-hope-she's-Bee-ish.-They-have-a-huge-parade-of-flowers-every-year-in-Pasadena?-To-be-in-the-Tournament-of-Roses #that's-every-florist's-dream!-Up-on-a-float #surrounded-by-flowers #crowds-cheering.-A-tournament.-Do-the-roses-compete-in-athletic-events?-No.-All-right #I've-got-one.-How-come-you-don't-fly-everywhere?-It's-exhausting.-Why-don't-you-run-everywhere?-It's-faster.-Yeah #OK #I-see #I-see.-All-right #your-turn.-TiVo.-You-can-just-freeze-live-TV?-That's-insane!-You-don't-have-that?-We-have-Hivo #but-it's-a-disease.-It's-a-horrible #horrible-disease.-Oh #my.-Dumb-bees!-You-must-want-to-sting-all-those-jerks.-We-try-not-to-sting.-It's-usually-fatal-for-us.-So-you-have-to-watch-your-temper.-Very-carefully.-You-kick-a-wall #take-a-walk #write-an-angry-letter-and-throw-it-out.-Work-through-it-like-any-emotion:-Anger #jealousy #lust.-Oh #my-goodness!-Are-you-OK?-Yeah.-What-is-wrong-with-you?!-It's-a-bug.-He's-not-bothering-anybody.-Get-out-of-here #you-creep!-What-was-that?-A-Pic-'N'-Save-circular?-Yeah #it-was.-How-did-you-know?-It-felt-like-about-10-pages.-Seventy-five-is-pretty-much-our-limit.-You've-really-got-that-down-to-a-science.-I-lost-a-cousin-to-Italian-Vogue.-I'll-bet.-What-in-the-name-of-Mighty-Hercules-is-this?-How-did-this-get-here?-cute-Bee #Golden-Blossom #Ray-Liotta-Private-Select?-Is-he-that-actor?-I-never-heard-of-him.-Why-is-this-here?-For-people.-We-eat-it.-You-don't-have-enough-food-of-your-own?-Well #yes.-How-do-you-get-it?-Bees-make-it.-I-know-who-makes-it!-And-it's-hard-to-make-it!-There's-heating #cooling #stirring.-You-need-a-whole-Krelman-thing!-It's-organic.-It's-our-ganic!-It's-just-honey #Barry.-Just-what?!-Bees-don't-know-about-this!-This-is-stealing!-A-lot-of-stealing!-You've-taken-our-homes #schools #hospitals!-This-is-all-we-have!-And-it's-on-sale?!-I'm-getting-to-the-bottom-of-this.-I'm-getting-to-the-bottom-of-all-of-this!-Hey #Hector.-You-almost-done?-Almost.-He-is-here.-I-sense-it.-Well #I-guess-I'll-go-home-now-and-just-leave-this-nice-honey-out #with-no-one-around.-You're-busted #box-boy!-I-knew-I-heard-something.-So-you-can-talk!-I-can-talk.-And-now-you'll-start-talking!-Where-you-getting-the-sweet-stuff?-Who's-your-supplier?-I-don't-understand.-I-thought-we-were-friends.-The-last-thing-we-want-to-do-is-upset-bees!-You're-too-late!-It's-ours-now!-You #sir #have-crossed-the-wrong-sword!-You #sir #will-be-lunch-for-my-iguana #Ignacio!-Where-is-the-honey-coming-from?-Tell-me-where!-Honey-Farms!-It-comes-from-Honey-Farms!-Crazy-person!-What-horrible-thing-has-happened-here?-These-faces #they-never-knew-what-hit-them.-And-now-they're-on-the-road-to-nowhere!-Just-keep-still.-What?-You're-not-dead?-Do-I-look-dead?-They-will-wipe-anything-that-moves.-Where-you-headed?-To-Honey-Farms.-I-am-onto-something-huge-here.-I'm-going-to-Alaska.-Moose-blood #crazy-stuff.-Blows-your-head-off!-I'm-going-to-Tacoma.-And-you?-He-really-is-dead.-All-right.-Uh-oh!-What-is-that?!-Oh #no!-A-wiper!-Triple-blade!-Triple-blade?-Jump-on!-It's-your-only-chance #bee!-Why-does-everything-have-to-be-so-doggone-clean?!-How-much-do-you-people-need-to-see?!-Open-your-eyes!-Stick-your-head-out-the-window!-From-NPR-News-in-Washington #I'm-Carl-Kasell.-But-don't-kill-no-more-bugs!-Bee!-Moose-blood-guy!!-You-hear-something?-Like-what?-Like-tiny-screaming.-Turn-off-the-radio.-Whassup #bee-boy?-Hey #Blood.-Just-a-row-of-honey-jars #as-far-as-the-eye-could-see.-Wow!-I-assume-wherever-this-truck-goes-is-where-they're-getting-it.-I-mean #that-honey's-ours.-Bees-hang-tight.-We're-all-jammed-in.-It's-a-close-community.-Not-us #man.-We-on-our-own.-Every-mosquito-on-his-own.-What-if-you-get-in-trouble?-You-a-mosquito #you-in-trouble.-Nobody-likes-us.-They-just-smack.-See-a-mosquito #smack #smack!-At-least-you're-out-in-the-world.-You-must-meet-girls.-Mosquito-girls-try-to-trade-up #get-with-a-moth #dragonfly.-Mosquito-girl-don't-want-no-mosquito.-You-got-to-be-kidding-me!-Mooseblood's-about-to-leave-the-building!-So-long #bee!-Hey #guys!-Mooseblood!-I-knew-I'd-catch-y'all-down-here.-Did-you-bring-your-crazy-straw?-We-throw-it-in-jars #slap-a-label-on-it #and-it's-pretty-much-pure-profit.-What-is-this-place?-A-bee's-got-a-brain-the-size-of-a-pinhead.-They-are-pinheads!-Pinhead.-Check-out-the-new-smoker.-Oh #sweet.-That's-the-one-you-want.-The-Thomas-3000!-Smoker?-Ninety-puffs-a-minute #semi-automatic.-Twice-the-nicotine #all-the-tar.-A-couple-breaths-of-this-knocks-them-right-out.-They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money.-'They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money'?-Oh #my!-What's-going-on?-Are-you-OK?-Yeah.-It-doesn't-last-too-long.-Do-you-know-you're-in-a-fake-hive-with-fake-walls?-Our-queen-was-moved-here.-We-had-no-choice.-This-is-your-queen?-That's-a-man-in-women's-clothes!-That's-a-drag-queen!-What-is-this?-Oh #no!-There's-hundreds-of-them!-Bee-honey.-Our-honey-is-being-brazenly-stolen-on-a-massive-scale!-This-is-worse-than-anything-bears-have-done!-I-intend-to-do-something.-Oh #Barry #stop.-Who-told-you-humans-are-taking-our-honey?-That's-a-rumor.-Do-these-look-like-rumors?-That's-a-conspiracy-theory.-These-are-obviously-doctored-photos.-How-did-you-get-mixed-up-in-this?-He's-been-talking-to-humans.-What?-Talking-to-humans?!-He-has-a-human-girlfriend.-And-they-make-out!-Make-out?-Barry!-We-do-not.-You-wish-you-could.-Whose-side-are-you-on?-The-bees!-I-dated-a-cricket-once-in-San-Antonio.-Those-crazy-legs-kept-me-up-all-night.-Barry #this-is-what-you-want-to-do-with-your-life?-I-want-to-do-it-for-all-our-lives.-Nobody-works-harder-than-bees!-Dad #I-remember-you-coming-home-so-overworked-your-hands-were-still-stirring.-You-couldn't-stop.-I-remember-that.-What-right-do-they-have-to-our-honey?-We-live-on-two-cups-a-year.-They-put-it-in-lip-balm-for-no-reason-whatsoever!-Even-if-it's-true #what-can-one-bee-do?-Sting-them-where-it-really-hurts.-In-the-face!-The-eye!-That-would-hurt.-No.-Up-the-nose?-That's-a-killer.-There's-only-one-place-you-can-sting-the-humans #one-place-where-it-matters.-Hive-at-Five #The-Hive's-only-full-hour-action-news-source.-No-more-bee-beards!-With-Bob-Bumble-at-the-anchor-desk.-Weather-with-Storm-Stinger.-Sports-with-Buzz-Larvi.-And-Jeanette-Chung.-Good-evening.-I'm-Bob-Bumble.-And-I'm-Jeanette-Ohung.-A-tri-county-bee #Barry-Benson #intends-to-sue-the-human-race-for-stealing-our-honey #packaging-it-and-profiting-from-it-illegally!-Tomorrow-night-on-Bee-Larry-King #we'll-have-three-former-queens-here-in-our-studio #discussing-their-new-book #classy-Ladies #out-this-week-on-Hexagon.-Tonight-we're-talking-to-Barry-Benson.-Did-you-ever-think #'I'm-a-kid-from-The-Hive.-I-can't-do-this'?-Bees-have-never-been-afraid-to-change-the-world.-What-about-Bee-Oolumbus?-Bee-Gandhi?-Bejesus?-Where-I'm-from #we'd-never-sue-humans.-We-were-thinking-of-stickball-or-candy-stores.-How-old-are-you?-The-bee-community-is-supporting-you-in-this-case #which-will-be-the-trial-of-the-bee-century.-You-know #they-have-a-Larry-King-in-the-human-world-too.-It's-a-common-name.-Next-week...-He-looks-like-you-and-has-a-show-and-suspenders-and-colored-dots...-Next-week...-Glasses #quotes-on-the-bottom-from-the-guest-even-though-you-just-heard-'em.-Bear-Week-next-week!-They're-scary #hairy-and-here-live.-Always-leans-forward #pointy-shoulders #squinty-eyes #very-Jewish.-In-tennis #you-attack-at-the-point-of-weakness!-It-was-my-grandmother #Ken.-She's-81.-Honey #her-backhand's-a-joke!-I'm-not-gonna-take-advantage-of-that?-Quiet #please.-Actual-work-going-on-here.-Is-that-that-same-bee?-Yes #it-is!-I'm-helping-him-sue-the-human-race.-Hello.-Hello #bee.-This-is-Ken.-Yeah #I-remember-you.-Timberland #size-ten-and-a-half.-Vibram-sole #I-believe.-Why-does-he-talk-again?-Listen #you-better-go-'cause-we're-really-busy-working.-But-it's-our-yogurt-night!-Bye-bye.-Why-is-yogurt-night-so-difficult?!-You-poor-thing.-You-two-have-been-at-this-for-hours!-Yes #and-Adam-here-has-been-a-huge-help.-Frosting...-How-many-sugars?-Just-one.-I-try-not-to-use-the-competition.-So-why-are-you-helping-me?-Bees-have-good-qualities.-And-it-takes-my-mind-off-the-shop.-Instead-of-flowers #people-are-giving-balloon-bouquets-now.-Those-are-great #if-you're-three.-And-artificial-flowers.-Oh #those-just-get-me-psychotic!-Yeah #me-too.-Bent-stingers #pointless-pollination.-Bees-must-hate-those-fake-things!-Nothing-worse-than-a-daffodil-that's-had-work-done.-Maybe-this-could-make-up-for-it-a-little-bit.-This-lawsuit's-a-pretty-big-deal.-I-guess.-You-sure-you-want-to-go-through-with-it?-Am-I-sure?-When-I'm-done-with-the-humans #they-won't-be-able-to-say #'Honey #I'm-home #'-without-paying-a-royalty!-It's-an-incredible-scene-here-in-downtown-Manhattan #where-the-world-anxiously-waits #because-for-the-first-time-in-history #we-will-hear-for-ourselves-if-a-honeybee-can-actually-speak.-What-have-we-gotten-into-here #isn't-it?-I-can't-believe-how-many-humans-don't-work-during-the-day.-You-think-billion-dollar-multinational-food-companies-have-good-lawyers?-Everybody-needs-to-stay-behind-the-barricade.-What's-the-matter?-I-don't-know #I-just-got-a-chill.-Well #if-it-isn't-the-bee-team.-You-boys-work-on-this?-All-rise!-The-Honorable-Judge-Bumbleton-presiding.-All-right.-Case-number-4475 #Superior-Court-of-New-York #Barry-Bee-Benson-v.-the-Honey-Industry-is-now-in-session.-Mr.-Montgomery #you're-representing-the-five-food-companies-collectively?-A-privilege.-Mr.-Benson...-you're-representing-all-the-bees-of-the-world?-I'm-kidding.-Yes #Your-Honor #we're-ready-to-proceed.-Mr.-Montgomery #your-opening-statement #please.-Ladies-and-gentlemen-of-the-jury #my-grandmother-was-a-simple-woman.-Born-on-a-farm #she-believed-it-was-man's-divine-right-to-benefit-from-the-bounty-of-nature-God-put-before-us.-If-we-lived-in-the-topsy-turvy-world-Mr.-Benson-imagines #just-think-of-what-would-it-mean.-I-would-have-to-negotiate-with-the-silkworm-for-the-elastic-in-my-britches!-Talking-bee!-How-do-we-know-this-isn't-some-sort-of-holographic-motion-picture-capture-Hollywood-wizardry?-They-could-be-using-laser-beams!-Robotics!-Ventriloquism!-Cloning!-For-all-we-know #he-could-be-on-steroids!-Mr.-Benson?-Ladies-and-gentlemen #there's-no-trickery-here.-I'm-just-an-ordinary-bee.-Honey's-pretty-important-to-me.-It's-important-to-all-bees.-We-invented-it!-We-make-it.-And-we-protect-it-with-our-lives.-Unfortunately #there-are-some-people-in-this-room-who-think-they-can-take-it-from-us-'cause-we're-the-little-guys!-I'm-hoping-that #after-this-is-all-over #you'll-see-how #by-taking-our-honey #you-not-only-take-everything-we-have-but-everything-we-are!-I-wish-he'd-dress-like-that-all-the-time.-So-nice!-Call-your-first-witness.-So #Mr.-Klauss-Vanderhayden-of-Honey-Farms #big-company-you-have.-I-suppose-so.-I-see-you-also-own-Honeyburton-and-Honron!-Yes #they-provide-beekeepers-for-our-farms.-Beekeeper.-I-find-that-to-be-a-very-disturbing-term.-I-don't-imagine-you-employ-any-bee-free-ers #do-you?-No.-I-couldn't-hear-you.-No.-No.-Because-you-don't-free-bees.-You-keep-bees.-Not-only-that #it-seems-you-thought-a-bear-would-be-an-appropriate-image-for-a-jar-of-honey.-They're-very-lovable-creatures.-Yogi-Bear #Fozzie-Bear #Build-A-Bear.-You-mean-like-this?-Bears-kill-bees!-How'd-you-like-his-head-crashing-through-your-living-room?!-Biting-into-your-couch!-Spitting-out-your-throw-pillows!-OK #that's-enough.-Take-him-away.-So #Mr.-Sting #thank-you-for-being-here.-Your-name-intrigues-me.-Where-have-I-heard-it-before?-I-was-with-a-band-called-The-Police.-But-you've-never-been-a-police-officer #have-you?-No #I-haven't.-No #you-haven't.-And-so-here-we-have-yet-another-example-of-bee-culture-casually-stolen-by-a-human-for-nothing-more-than-a-prance-about-stage-name.-Oh #please.-Have-you-ever-been-stung #Mr.-Sting?-Because-I'm-feeling-a-little-stung #Sting.-Or-should-I-say...-Mr.-Gordon-M.-Sumner!-That's-not-his-real-name?!-You-idiots!-Mr.-Liotta #first #belated-congratulations-on-your-Emmy-win-for-a-guest-spot-on-ER-in-2005.-Thank-you.-Thank-you.-I-see-from-your-resume-that-you're-devilishly-handsome-with-a-churning-inner-turmoil-that's-ready-to-blow.-I-enjoy-what-I-do.-Is-that-a-crime?-Not-yet-it-isn't.-But-is-this-what-it's-come-to-for-you?-Exploiting-tiny #helpless-bees-so-you-don't-have-to-rehearse-your-part-and-learn-your-lines #sir?-Watch-it #Benson!-I-could-blow-right-now!-This-isn't-a-goodfella.-This-is-a-badfella!-Why-doesn't-someone-just-step-on-this-creep #and-we-can-all-go-home?!-Order-in-this-court!-You're-all-thinking-it!-Order!-Order #I-say!-Say-it!-Mr.-Liotta #please-sit-down!-I-think-it-was-awfully-nice-of-that-bear-to-pitch-in-like-that.-I-think-the-jury's-on-our-side.-Are-we-doing-everything-right #legally?-I'm-a-florist.-Right.-Well #here's-to-a-great-team.-To-a-great-team!-Well #hello.-Ken!-Hello.-I-didn't-think-you-were-coming.-No #I-was-just-late-I-tried-to-call #but...-the-battery.-I-didn't-want-all-this-to-go-to-waste #so-I-called-Barry.-Luckily #he-was-free.-Oh #that-was-lucky.-There's-a-little-left.-I-could-heat-it-up.-Yeah #heat-it-up #sure #whatever.-So-I-hear-you're-quite-a-tennis-player.-I'm-not-much-for-the-game-myself.-The-ball's-a-little-grabby.-That's-where-I-usually-sit.-Right...-there.-Ken #Barry-was-looking-at-your-resume #and-he-agreed-with-me-that-eating-with-chopsticks-isn't-really-a-special-skill.-You-think-I-don't-see-what-you're-doing?-I-know-how-hard-it-is-to-find-the-right-job.-We-have-that-in-common.-Do-we?-Bees-have-100-percent-employment #but-we-do-jobs-like-taking-the-crud-out.-That's-just-what-I-was-thinking-about-doing.-Ken #I-let-Barry-borrow-your-razor-for-his-fuzz.-I-hope-that-was-all-right.-I'm-going-to-drain-the-old-stinger.-Yeah #you-do-that.-Look-at-that.-You-know #I've-just-about-had-it-with-your-little-Mind-Games.-What's-that?-Italian-Vogue.-Mamma-mia #that's-a-lot-of-pages.-A-lot-of-ads.-Remember-what-Van-said #why-is-your-life-more-valuable-than-mine?-Funny #I-just-can't-seem-to-recall-that!-I-think-something-stinks-in-here!-I-love-the-smell-of-flowers.-How-do-you-like-the-smell-of-flames?!-Not-as-much.-Water-bug!-Not-taking-sides!-Ken #I'm-wearing-a-Chapstick-hat!-This-is-pathetic!-I've-got-issues!-Well #well #well #a-royal-flush!-You're-bluffing.-Am-I?-Surf's-up #dude!-Poo-water!-That-bowl-is-gnarly.-Except-for-those-dirty-yellow-rings!-Kenneth!-What-are-you-doing?!-You-know #I-don't-even-like-honey!-I-don't-eat-it!-We-need-to-talk!-He's-just-a-little-bee!-And-he-happens-to-be-the-nicest-bee-I've-met-in-a-long-time!-Long-time?-What-are-you-talking-about?!-Are-there-other-bugs-in-your-life?--No #but-there-are-other-things-bugging-me-in-life.-And-you're-one-of-them!-Fine!-Talking-bees #no-yogurt-night...-My-nerves-are-fried-from-riding-on-this-emotional-roller-coaster!-Goodbye #Ken.-And-for-your-information #I-prefer-sugar-free #artificial-sweeteners-made-by-man!-I'm-sorry-about-all-that.-I-know-it's-got-an-aftertaste!-I-like-it!-I-always-felt-there-was-some-kind-of-barrier-between-Ken-and-me.-I-couldn't-overcome-it.-Oh #well.-Are-you-OK-for-the-trial?-I-believe-Mr.-Montgomery-is-about-out-of-ideas.-We-would-like-to-call-Mr.-Barry-Benson-Bee-to-the-stand.-Good-idea!-You-can-really-see-why-he's-considered-one-of-the-best-lawyers...-Yeah.-Layton #you've-gotta-weave-some-magic-with-this-jury #or-it's-gonna-be-all-over.-Don't-worry.-The-only-thing-I-have-to-do-to-turn-this-jury-around-is-to-remind-them-of-what-they-don't-like-about-bees.-You-got-the-tweezers?-Are-you-allergic?-Only-to-losing #son.-Only-to-losing.-Mr.-Benson-Bee #I'll-ask-you-what-I-think-we'd-all-like-to-know.-What-exactly-is-your-relationship-to-that-woman?-We're-friends.-Good-friends?-Yes.-How-good?-Do-you-live-together?-Wait-a-minute...-Are-you-her-little...-bedbug?-I've-seen-a-bee-documentary-or-two.-From-what-I-understand #doesn't-your-queen-give-birth-to-all-the-bee-children?-Yeah #but...-So-those-aren't-your-real-parents!-Oh #Barry...-Yes #they-are!-Hold-me-back!-You're-an-illegitimate-bee #aren't-you #Benson?-He's-denouncing-bees!-Don't-y'all-date-your-cousins?-Objection!-I'm-going-to-pincushion-this-guy!-Adam #don't!-It's-what-he-wants!-Oh #I'm-hit!!-Oh #lordy #I-am-hit!-Order!-Order!-The-venom!-The-venom-is-coursing-through-my-veins!-I-have-been-felled-by-a-winged-beast-of-destruction!-You-see?-You-can't-treat-them-like-equals!-They're-striped-savages!-Stinging's-the-only-thing-they-know!-It's-their-way!-Adam #stay-with-me.-I-can't-feel-my-legs.-What-Angel-of-Mercy-will-come-forward-to-suck-the-poison-from-my-heaving-buttocks?-I-will-have-order-in-this-court.-Order!-Order #please!-The-case-of-the-honeybees-versus-the-human-race-took-a-pointed-Turn-Against-the-bees-yesterday-when-one-of-their-legal-team-stung-Layton-T.-Montgomery.-Hey #buddy.-Hey.-Is-there-much-pain?-Yeah.-I...-I-blew-the-whole-case #didn't-I?-It-doesn't-matter.-What-matters-is-you're-alive.-You-could-have-died.-I'd-be-better-off-dead.-Look-at-me.-They-got-it-from-the-cafeteria-downstairs #in-a-tuna-sandwich.-Look #there's-a-little-celery-still-on-it.-What-was-it-like-to-sting-someone?-I-can't-explain-it.-It-was-all...-All-adrenaline-and-then...and-then-ecstasy!-All-right.-You-think-it-was-all-a-trap?-Of-course.-I'm-sorry.-I-flew-us-right-into-this.-What-were-we-thinking?-Look-at-us.-We're-just-a-couple-of-bugs-in-this-world.-What-will-the-humans-do-to-us-if-they-win?-I-don't-know.-I-hear-they-put-the-roaches-in-motels.-That-doesn't-sound-so-bad.-Adam #they-check-in #but-they-don't-check-out!-Oh #my.-Could-you-get-a-nurse-to-close-that-window?-Why?-The-smoke.-Bees-don't-smoke.-Right.-Bees-don't-smoke.-Bees-don't-smoke!-But-some-bees-are-smoking.-That's-it!-That's-our-case!-It-is?-It's-not-over?-Get-dressed.-I've-gotta-go-somewhere.-Get-back-to-the-court-and-stall.-Stall-any-way-you-can.-And-assuming-you've-done-step-correctly #you're-ready-for-the-tub.-Mr.-Flayman.-Yes?-Yes #Your-Honor!-Where-is-the-rest-of-your-team?-Well #Your-Honor #it's-interesting.-Bees-are-trained-to-fly-haphazardly #and-as-a-result #we-don't-make-very-good-time.-I-actually-heard-a-funny-story-about...-Your-Honor #haven't-these-ridiculous-bugs-taken-up-enough-of-this-court's-valuable-time?-How-much-longer-will-we-allow-these-absurd-shenanigans-to-go-on?-They-have-presented-no-compelling-evidence-to-support-their-charges-against-my-clients #who-run-legitimate-businesses.-I-move-for-a-complete-dismissal-of-this-entire-case!-Mr.-Flayman #I'm-afraid-I'm-going-to-have-to-consider-Mr.-Montgomery's-motion.-But-you-can't!-We-have-a-terrific-case.-Where-is-your-proof?-Where-is-the-evidence?-Show-me-the-smoking-gun!-Hold-it #Your-Honor!-You-want-a-smoking-gun?-Here-is-your-smoking-gun.-What-is-that?-It's-a-bee-smoker!-What #this?-This-harmless-little-contraption?-This-couldn't-hurt-a-fly #let-alone-a-bee.-Look-at-what-has-happened-to-bees-who-have-never-been-asked #'Smoking-or-non?'-Is-this-what-nature-intended-for-us?-To-be-forcibly-addicted-to-smoke-machines-and-man-made-wooden-slat-work-camps?-Living-out-our-lives-as-honey-slaves-to-the-white-man?-What-are-we-gonna-do?-He's-playing-the-species-card.-Ladies-and-gentlemen #please #free-these-bees!-Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees!-The-court-finds-in-favor-of-the-bees!-Vanessa #we-won!-I-knew-you-could-do-it!-High-five!-Sorry.-I'm-OK!-You-know-what-this-means?-All-the-honey-will-finally-belong-to-the-bees.-Now-we-won't-have-to-work-so-hard-all-the-time.-This-is-an-unholy-perversion-of-the-balance-of-nature #Benson.-You'll-regret-this.-Barry #how-much-honey-is-out-there?-All-right.-One-at-a-time.-Barry #who-are-you-wearing?-My-sweater-is-Ralph-Lauren #and-I-have-no-pants.-What-if-Montgomery's-right?-What-do-you-mean?-We've-been-living-the-bee-way-a-long-time #27-million-years.-Congratulations-on-your-victory.-What-will-you-demand-as-a-settlement?-First #we'll-demand-a-complete-shutdown-of-all-bee-work-camps.-Then-we-want-back-the-honey-that-was-ours-to-begin-with #every-last-drop.-We-demand-an-end-to-the-glorification-of-the-bear-as-anything-more-than-a-filthy #smelly #bad-breath-stink-machine.-We're-all-aware-of-what-they-do-in-the-woods.-Wait-for-my-signal.-Take-him-out.-He'll-have-nauseous-for-a-few-hours #then-he'll-be-fine.-And-we-will-no-longer-tolerate-bee-negative-nicknames...-But-it's-just-a-prance-about-stage-name!-...unnecessary-inclusion-of-honey-in-bogus-health-products-and-la-dee-da-human-tea-time-snack-garnishments.-Can't-breathe.-Bring-it-in #boys!-Hold-it-right-there!-Good.-Tap-it.-Mr.-Buzzwell #we-just-passed-three-cups-and-there's-gallons-more-coming!-I-think-we-need-to-shut-down!-Shut-down?-We've-never-shut-down.-Shut-down-honey-production!-Stop-making-honey!-Turn-your-key #sir!-What-do-we-do-now?-Cannonball!-We're-shutting-honey-production!-Mission-abort.-Aborting-pollination-and-nectar-detail.-Returning-to-base.-Adam #you-wouldn't-believe-how-much-honey-was-out-there.-Oh #yeah?-What's-going-on?-Where-is-everybody?-Are-they-out-celebrating?-They're-home.-They-don't-know-what-to-do.-Laying-out #sleeping-in.-I-heard-your-Uncle-Carl-was-on-his-way-to-San-Antonio-with-a-cricket.-At-least-we-got-our-honey-back.-Sometimes-I-think #so-what-if-humans-liked-our-honey?-Who-wouldn't?-It's-the-greatest-thing-in-the-world!-I-was-excited-to-be-part-of-making-it.-This-was-my-new-desk.-This-was-my-new-job.-I-wanted-to-do-it-really-well.-And-now...-Now-I-can't.-I-don't-understand-why-they're-not-happy.-I-thought-their-lives-would-be-better!-They're-doing-nothing.-It's-amazing.-Honey-really-changes-people.-You-don't-have-any-idea-what's-going-on #do-you?-What-did-you-want-to-show-me?-This.-What-happened-here?-That-is-not-the-half-of-it.-Oh #no.-Oh #my.-They're-all-wilting.-Doesn't-look-very-good #does-it?-No.-And-whose-fault-do-you-think-that-is?-You-know #I'm-gonna-guess-bees.-Bees?-Specifically #me.-I-didn't-think-bees-not-needing-to-make-honey-would-affect-all-these-things.-It's-not-just-flowers.-Fruits #vegetables #they-all-need-bees.-That's-our-whole-SAT-test-right-there.-Take-away-produce #that-affects-the-entire-animal-kingdom.-And-then #of-course...-The-human-species?-So-if-there's-no-more-pollination #it-could-all-just-go-south-here #couldn't-it?-I-know-this-is-also-partly-my-fault.-How-about-a-suicide-pact?-How-do-we-do-it?-I'll-sting-you #you-step-on-me.-That-just-kills-you-twice.-Right #right.-Listen #Barry...-sorry #but-I-gotta-get-going.-I-had-to-open-my-mouth-and-talk.-Vanessa?-Vanessa?-Why-are-you-leaving?-Where-are-you-going?-To-the-final-Tournament-of-Roses-parade-in-Pasadena.-They've-moved-it-to-this-weekend-because-all-the-flowers-are-dying.-It's-the-Last-Chance-I'll-ever-have-to-see-it.-Vanessa #I-just-wanna-say-I'm-sorry.-I-never-meant-it-to-turn-out-like-this.-I-know.-Me-neither.-Tournament-of-Roses.-Roses-can't-do-sports.-Wait-a-minute.-Roses.-Roses?-Roses!-Vanessa!-Roses?!-Barry?-Roses-are-flowers!-Yes #they-are.-Flowers #bees #pollen!-I-know.-That's-why-this-is-the-last-parade.-Maybe-not.-Could-you-ask-him-to-slow-down?-Could-you-slow-down?-Barry!-OK #I-made-a-huge-mistake.-This-is-a-total-disaster #all-my-fault.-Yes #it-kind-of-is.-I've-ruined-the-planet.-I-wanted-to-help-you-with-the-flower-shop.-I've-made-it-worse.-Actually #it's-completely-closed-down.-I-thought-maybe-you-were-remodeling.-But-I-have-another-idea #and-it's-greater-than-my-previous-ideas-combined.-I-don't-want-to-hear-it!-All-right #they-have-the-roses #the-roses-have-the-pollen.-I-know-every-bee #plant-and-flower-bud-in-this-park.-All-we-gotta-do-is-get-what-they've-got-back-here-with-what-we've-got.-Bees.-Park.-Pollen!-Flowers.-Repollination!-Across-the-nation!-Tournament-of-Roses #Pasadena #California.-They've-got-nothing-but-flowers #floats-and-cotton-candy.-Security-will-be-tight.-I-have-an-idea.-Vanessa-Bloome #FTD.-Official-floral-business.-It's-real.-Sorry #ma'am.-Nice-brooch.-Thank-you.-It-was-a-gift.-Once-inside #we-just-pick-the-right-float.-How-about-The-Princess-and-the-Pea?-I-could-be-the-princess #and-you-could-be-the-pea!-Yes #I-got-it.-Where-should-I-sit?-What-are-you?-I-believe-I'm-the-pea.-The-pea?-It-goes-under-the-mattresses.-Not-in-this-fairy-tale #sweetheart.-I'm-getting-the-marshal.-You-do-that!-This-whole-parade-is-a-fiasco!-Let's-see-what-this-baby'll-do.-Hey #what-are-you-doing?!-Then-all-we-do-is-blend-in-with-traffic...-without-arousing-suspicion.-Once-at-the-airport #there's-no-stopping-us.-Stop!-Security.-You-and-your-insect-pack-your-float?-Yes.-Has-it-been-in-your-possession-the-entire-time?-Would-you-remove-your-shoes?-Remove-your-stinger.-It's-part-of-me.-I-know.-Just-having-some-fun.-Enjoy-your-flight.-Then-if-we're-lucky #we'll-have-just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job.-Can-you-believe-how-lucky-we-are?-We-have-just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job!-I-think-this-is-gonna-work.-It's-got-to-work.-Attention #passengers #this-is-Captain-Scott.-We-have-a-bit-of-bad-weather-in-New-York.-It-looks-like-we'll-experience-a-couple-hours-delay.-Barry #these-are-cut-flowers-with-no-water.-They'll-never-make-it.-I-gotta-get-up-there-and-talk-to-them.-Be-careful.-Can-I-get-help-with-the-Sky-Mall-magazine?-I'd-like-to-order-the-talking-inflatable-nose-and-ear-hair-trimmer.-Captain #I'm-in-a-real-situation.-What'd-you-say #Hal?-Nothing.-Bee!-Don't-freak-out!-My-entire-species...-What-are-you-doing?-Wait-a-minute!-I'm-an-attorney!-Who's-an-attorney?-Don't-move.-Oh #Barry.-Good-afternoon #passengers.-This-is-your-captain.-Would-a-Miss-Vanessa-Bloome-in-24B-please-report-to-the-cockpit?-And-please-hurry!-What-happened-here?-There-was-a-DustBuster #a-toupee #a-life-raft-exploded.-One's-bald #one's-in-a-boat #they're-both-unconscious!-Is-that-another-bee-joke?-No!-No-one's-flying-the-plane!-This-is-JFK-control-tower #Flight-356.-What's-your-status?-This-is-Vanessa-Bloome.-I'm-a-florist-from-New-York.-Where's-the-pilot?-He's-unconscious #and-so-is-the-copilot.-Not-good.-Does-anyone-onboard-have-flight-experience?-As-a-matter-of-fact #there-is.-Who's-that?-Barry-Benson.-From-the-honey-trial?!-Oh #great.-Vanessa #this-is-nothing-more-than-a-big-metal-bee.-It's-got-giant-wings #huge-engines.-I-can't-fly-a-plane.-Why-not?-Isn't-John-Travolta-a-pilot?-Yes.-How-hard-could-it-be?-Wait #Barry!-We're-headed-into-some-lightning.-This-is-Bob-Bumble.-We-have-some-late-breaking-news-from-JFK-Airport #where-a-suspenseful-scene-is-developing.-Barry-Benson #fresh-from-his-legal-victory...-That's-Barry!-...is-attempting-to-land-a-plane #loaded-with-people #flowers-and-an-incapacitated-flight-crew.-Flowers?!-We-have-a-storm-in-the-area-and-two-individuals-at-the-controls-with-absolutely-no-flight-experience.-Just-a-minute.-There's-a-bee-on-that-plane.-I'm-quite-familiar-with-Mr.-Benson-and-his-no-account-compadres.-They've-done-enough-damage.-But-isn't-he-your-only-hope?-Technically #a-bee-shouldn't-be-able-to-fly-at-all.-Their-wings-are-too-small...-Haven't-we-heard-this-a-million-times?-'The-surface-area-of-the-wings-and-body-mass-make-no-sense.'-Get-this-on-the-air!-Got-it.-Stand-by.-We're-going-live.-The-way-we-work-may-be-a-mystery-to-you.-Making-honey-takes-a-lot-of-bees-doing-a-lot-of-small-jobs.-But-let-me-tell-you-about-a-small-job.-If-you-do-it-well #it-makes-a-big-difference.-More-than-we-realized.-To-us #to-everyone.-That's-why-I-want-to-get-bees-back-to-working-together.-That's-the-bee-way!-We're-not-made-of-Jell-O.-We-get-behind-a-fellow.-Black-and-yellow!-Hello!-Left #right #down #hover.-Hover?-Forget-hover.-This-isn't-so-hard.-Beep-beep!-Beep-beep!-Barry #what-happened?!-Wait #I-think-we-were-on-autopilot-the-whole-time.-That-may-have-been-helping-me.-And-now-we're-not!-So-it-turns-out-I-cannot-fly-a-plane.-All-of-you #let's-get-behind-this-fellow!-Move-it-out!-Move-out!-Our-only-chance-is-if-I-do-what-I'd-do #you-copy-me-with-the-wings-of-the-plane!-Don't-have-to-yell.-I'm-not-yelling!-We're-in-a-lot-of-trouble.-It's-very-hard-to-concentrate-with-that-panicky-tone-in-your-voice!-It's-not-a-tone.-I'm-panicking!-I-can't-do-this!-Vanessa #pull-yourself-together.-You-have-to-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it.-You-snap-out-of-it.-You-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it!-You-snap-out-of-it!-Hold-it!-Why?-Come-on #it's-my-turn.-How-is-the-plane-flying?-I-don't-know.-Hello?-Benson #got-any-flowers-for-a-happy-occasion-in-there?-The-Pollen-Jocks!-They-do-get-behind-a-fellow.-Black-and-yellow.-Hello.-All-right #let's-drop-this-tin-can-on-the-blacktop.-Where?-I-can't-see-anything.-Can-you?-No #nothing.-It's-all-cloudy.-Come-on.-You-got-to-think-bee #Barry.-Thinking-bee.-Thinking-bee.-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Wait-a-minute.-I-think-I'm-feeling-something.-What?-I-don't-know.-It's-strong #pulling-me.-Like-a-27-million-year-old-instinct.-Bring-the-nose-down.-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-What-in-the-world-is-on-the-tarmac?-Get-some-lights-on-that!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee!-Vanessa #aim-for-the-flower.-OK.-Cut-the-engines.-We're-going-in-on-bee-power.-Ready #boys?-Affirmative!-Good.-Good.-Easy #now.-That's-it.-Land-on-that-flower!-Ready?-Full-reverse!-Spin-it-around!-Not-that-flower!-The-other-one!-Which-one?-That-flower.-I'm-aiming-at-the-flower!-That's-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt.-I-mean-the-giant-pulsating-flower-made-of-millions-of-bees!-Pull-forward.-Nose-down.-Tail-up.-Rotate-around-it.-This-is-insane #Barry!-This's-the-only-way-I-know-how-to-fly.-Am-I-koo-koo-kachoo #or-is-this-plane-flying-in-an-insect-like-pattern?-Get-your-nose-in-there.-Don't-be-afraid.-Smell-it.-Full-reverse!-Just-drop-it.-Be-a-part-of-it.-Aim-for-the-center!-Now-drop-it-in!-Drop-it-in #woman!-Come-on #already.-Barry #we-did-it!-You-taught-me-how-to-fly!-Yes.-No-high-five!-Right.-Barry #it-worked!-Did-you-see-the-giant-flower?-What-giant-flower?-Where?-Of-course-I-saw-the-flower!-That-was-genius!-Thank-you.-But-we're-not-done-yet.-Listen #everyone!-This-runway-is-covered-with-the-last-pollen-from-the-last-flowers-available-anywhere-on-Earth.-That-means-this-is-our-Last-Chance.-We're-the-only-ones-who-make-honey #pollinate-flowers-and-dress-like-this.-If-we're-gonna-survive-as-a-species #this-is-our-moment!-What-do-you-say?-Are-we-going-to-be-bees #or-just-Museum-of-Natural-History-keychains?-We're-bees!-Keychain!-Then-follow-me!-Except-Keychain.-Hold-on #Barry.-Here.-You've-earned-this.-Yeah!-I'm-a-Pollen-Jock!-And-it's-a-perfect-fit.-All-I-gotta-do-are-the-sleeves.-Oh #yeah.-That's-our-Barry.-Mom!-The-bees-are-back!-If-anybody-needs-to-make-a-call #now's-the-time.-I-got-a-feeling-we'll-be-working-late-tonight!-Here's-your-change.-Have-a-great-afternoon!-Can-I-help-who's-next?-Would-you-like-some-honey-with-that?-It-is-bee-approved.-Don't-forget-these.-Milk #cream #cheese #it's-all-me.--And-I-don't-see-a-nickel!-Sometimes-I-just-feel-like-a-piece-of-meat!-I-had-no-idea.-Barry #I'm-sorry.-Have-you-got-a-moment?-Would-you-excuse-me?-My-mosquito-associate-will-help-you.-Sorry-I'm-late.-He's-a-lawyer-too?-I-was-already-a-blood-sucking-parasite.-All-I-needed-was-a-briefcase.-Have-a-great-afternoon!-Barry #I-just-got-this-huge-tulip-order #and-I-can't-get-them-anywhere.-No-problem #Vannie.-Just-leave-it-to-me.-You're-a-lifesaver #Barry.-Can-I-help-who's-next?-All-right #scramble #jocks!-It's-time-to-fly.-Thank-you #Barry!-That-bee-is-living-my-life!-Let-it-go #Kenny.-When-will-this-nightmare-end?!-Let-it-all-go.-Beautiful-day-to-fly.-Sure-is.-Between-you-and-me #I-was-dying-to-get-out-of-that-office.-You-have-got-to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend.-Thinking-bee!-Me?-Hold-it.-Let's-just-stop-for-a-second.-Hold-it.-I'm-sorry.-I'm-sorry #everyone.-Can-we-stop-here?-I'm-not-making-a-major-life-decision-during-a-production-number!-All-right.-Take-ten #everybody.-Wrap-it-up #guys.-I-had-virtually-no-rehearsal-for-that.#guysihadvirtuallynorehearsalforthat #everybodywrapitup #everyonecanwestophereimnotmakingamajorlifedecisionduringaproductionnumberallrighttaketen #myfriendthinkingbeemeholditletsjuststopforasecondholditimsorryimsorry #iwasdyingtogetoutofthatofficeyouhavegottostartthinkingbee #kennywhenwillthisnightmareendletitallgobeautifuldaytoflysureisbetweenyouandme -
Tyme’s and Killjoy’s Top Ten(ish) of 2025 By Steel DruhmTyme
I’ve spent much of my 2025 thinking about privilege. Not in the sense that the media has conditioned me, or us, to think about it, but in a way that I’ve employed to shift some of the mundane aspects of life onto their respective heads. For instance, it’s a privilege to look in my closet and have to decide what to wear each day. It’s a privilege to look in my kitchen pantry to figure out what I’ll eat for breakfast or, better yet, which coffee cup I’ll drink from. I could go on, but there’s a word limit to these intros. Suffice to say, I really tried to dwell on my blessings rather than my challenges this year.
And despite the blessings of my professional life, which bestowed upon me the incredible privilege of being really fucking busy for the last “whatever” number of months, I’ve been equally, yet much less facetiously, blessed in my personal endeavors as well. For, in addition to having a bountiful roof over my head, a vehicle to get me back and forth to my extremely privileged job, a dog I can honestly say I will have NO idea how to say goodbye to if I don’t go first, and a wife that, despite the ups and downs of a normal, healthy marriage, continues to love me, I have the distinct privilege of contributing my trve opinions on all things musically heavy, or adjacently heavy, here on the best heavy metal blog in the world! And now comes the part where I give thanks.
Thank you, first and foremost, to everyone who reads this blog every day. Without you, none of this would be worth doing. At least for me, who read, lurked, and commented for years before working up the courage to actually apply for this subservient existence. Thank you to this newest crop of freshly demoted n00bs and to my list mate Killjoy and the rest of the Freezer Freaks Crew—Alekhines Gun, Owlswald, and Clarkkent1—who, through perseverance and a buttload of patience, managed to survive nearly two years on ice to land in the crosshairs of the commentariat’s adverse, and always wrong, opinions.2,3 Thanks as well, to ALL the senior staff who are way nicer than they’d have you believe,4 except Grier, who’s even nicer than everyone else. And finally, the editors, the man himself, Dr. AMG, for seeing enough in me to bring me over, and Steel, who runs the tightest, most compassionate ship I’ve ever had the privilege of sailing on. Thanks, boss!
Now! To the LIST!!!
#ish. Antinoë // The Fold – When I snagged this late-year gem back in November, I had no idea it would have me shuffling my list. With a little more time, I’m sure it would have moved up the ladder, but as it stands, Antinoë grabbed my (ish) spot easily. With little to no instrumentation beyond her piano, Teresa Marraco crafted something so beautiful in its basic-ness that I was entranced. Her delicate melodies evoke vibes that are as much Darkher or Tori Amos5 as they are Emperor or Dimmu Borgir, and I am definitely here for it.
#10. King Witch // III – In a year when Messa released a new album as well, the fact that King Witch is sitting on my year-end proper list and not Sara Bianchin and company speaks volumes about the job Laura Donnelly, Jamie Gilchrist, and Rory Lee did on III. Whether crooning over wispy acoustics or belting out doomily powerful tones over rock-heavy riffs, Donnelly is the star of the show, and her performance had me swooning. From the minute I first heard “Suffer in Life” with its swing-heavy riffs and killer vocals, I was happy to take King Witch’s III for a spin over and over, and it’s been part of my regular rotation since summer.
#9. Imperishable // Revelation in Purity – As the year wore on, I became increasingly sure that I may have underrated Imperishable’s Revelation in Purity. In fact, I found myself returning to it several times, forgoing subsequent spins of albums I’d rated higher. With their Nile and Olkoth pedigree, Imperishable’s expert blend of blackened death metal hit an overtly swirling sweet spot for me. The songwriting on Revelation in Purity, while not groundbreaking, is expertly executed, rendering its quality undeniable. And when you toss in those very Alice in Chains-like grunge passages, akin to a cherry on top, it was easy for me to put Revelation in Purity on my year-end list.
#8. Mutagenic Host // The Diseased Machine – Mutagenic Host’s The Diseased Machine was the first album I successfully coveted and secured from the sump pit alllll the way back in January of this year. As a freshly demoted staff member at the time, I was overly excited at the opportunity to take it on, and the album surely didn’t disappoint. Mutagenic Host does death metal the way I like it: low-brow, Neanderthalic, and brutally chuggy. It’s a tenuous thing to run across something you deem so good so early in the year, but The Diseased Machine has definitely stood the test of Tyme and proved worth every point of the quarter-pounder I placed on it.
#7. Igorrr // Amen – My fancy with Igorrr has always been somewhat of a passing one. I was nowhere near the listener who would’ve been part of the band’s early target audience (Mousissure, Nostril). Still, I found more common ground with 2017’s Savage Sinusoid and even more with 2020’s Spirituality and Distortion. But when those first electronic beats of Amen’s opening track, “Daemoni,” poured out of my speakers for the first time, I was completely plugged in to Igorrr’s chaotically beautiful brand of metal madness. Amen’s surprisingly accessible break-cored, trip-hopped blackened death ‘baroque’ it’s big boot off in my ass, and I’ve been relishing and wallowing in its avant-garde pain ever since.
#6. Cave Sermon // Fragile Wings – Cave Sermon’s Divine Laughter was something I’d definitely missed out on in 2024. When Thus Spoke covered Cave Sermon’s rapid follow-up, Fragile Wings, in April, however, I vowed I wouldn’t sleep on Charlie Park’s solo black metal project this time around. And I’m certainly glad I didn’t. Words like ‘wistful,’ ‘exuberant,’ and ‘playful’ were tossed about in Thus’s excellent write-up and really homed in on what made listening to Fragile Wings such a connective experience for me. Imbued as Fragile Wings is with upbeat sadness, Cave Sermon proved that I can get on board with post metal, and to be honest, any metal that sounds this good is worth the time spent. And seriously, what is that cover?!6
#5. Crippling Alcoholism // Camgirl – Inspired by a subreddit I’m glad I never stumbled across, Crippling Alcoholism’s provocative moniker steels those who’d approach the band’s output with a certain sense of visceral anticipation before hearing even one note. My love for the disturbingly creepy With Love from a Padded Room led me to the pink, candy-wrapped murderpop of Camgirl with nary a moment’s hesitation. I gladly signed on to plumb the depths of weirdness I knew would exist, but could not have anticipated the absolute fathomless darkness lurking within Camgirl’s saccharine sweetness, especially as revealed with subsequent spins. A disturbing diatribe on hopelessness, disappointment, loneliness, and sex in the digital age, Camgirl wraps its message in a deceivingly poppy form of electronica that, when all is said and done, will have you wondering what the fuck just happened. I love it.
#4. Dax Riggs // 7 Songs for Spiders – Dax Riggs may be one of the more underrated artists of the last thirty years, and while I know I’m not the only one who rejoiced in the recent resurgence and subsequent touring schedule of one of the ’90s best sludge acts, Acid Bath, I also realized a new album will probably never materialize, at least not under that moniker. Instead, the universe graced us with 7 Songs for Spiders, Dax’s first solo effort in nearly 15 years. Filled with simplistically haunting melodies sung in Riggs’s inimitable style, 7 Songs for Spiders strummed every one of my fuzzed-out, laid-back heart strings and has remained consistently satisfying since its January release.
#3. Maud the Moth // The Distaff – I stumbled across Maud the Moth in 2023 while exploring the ever-expanding milieu of performers associated with my favorite artist Darkher. Searching Amaya López-Carromoero’s back catalog, I dove into 2015’s The Inner Wastelands and 2020’s Orphnē, emerging a fan of Maud the Moth’s quirky neo-classical piano-led operatics. When The Distaff popped up in the sump, I was glad to see Dolphin Whisperer snag it, knowing his words would do the album eloquent justice. Soaring in scope and execution, Maud the Moth proffers her most complex yet beautiful release to date. Filled with classically executed vocal acrobatics and massive amounts of intricate instrumentation, The Distaff is less a thing just to be listened to, as it is a thing to be wholly experienced. As immersive a piece of music as I’ve heard all year.
#2. Structure // Heritage – M-A-S-S-I-V-E is the word that best describes Structure’s Heritage, which is to say it’s big, sad, and “heavy as fook!”7 Every time I threw this beast on, and the album opener began crawling forth, it conjured the same cinematic image in my mind’s eye. A lone, bloodied warrior, fists clenched, head bowed, wind-swept and rain-soaked hair hanging down, muscles taut and twitching in furious sadness, standing in a field full of his fallen brethren as a lightning-laced deluge washed the blood of dead soldiers into the hungry ground. Then, slowly, he casts his gaze skyward, anguished tears streaming, contemplating his sole survivor existence, and screaming at the thunder-filled heavens “Will I deserve to live on?” Every time, that’s what I see when I listen to “Will I Deserve It,” and every time I break out in goose bumps with a lumpy throat and welling eyes. Heritage came as close to being my number one as to make the two offerings at the top of my 2025 list nearly interchangeable.
#1. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail – I know I underrated Dormant Ordeal’s fourth album, Tooth and Nail, for, despite giving it the 4.0 treatment, the sheer excellence of this record has only improved over time. April was THE month for me this year, yielding my two favorite metal releases and leaving Poland’s metal map deeply staked with a big, black-and-gold Dormant Ordeal flag. In true, warrior-like fashion, Maciej Nieścioruk and Maciej Proficz soldiered on without sole founding member Radek Kowal, which opened the door for Chase Westmoreland to waltz in and give my favorite drum performance of the year. From the brutally effective “Halo of Bones” to the excellent, Dylan Thomas-inspired “Against the Dying of the Light,” there wasn’t an album I returned to more this year than Tooth and Nail, its visceral riffs and razor-sharp edges leaving long-lasting scars. But in a good way, you know? It’s with profound pleasure that I dutifully crown Dormant Ordeal’s Tooth and Nail my album of the year.
Honorable Mentions
- Cryptopsy // An Insatiable Violence – This thing is an ass kicker. Full of satisfying death metal brutality and, like it or not, my favorite since the classic None So Vile.
- Pissgrave // Malignant Worthlessness – Thirty-one minutes of absolutely insane death metal that will melt your ears into maggot-infested pus. Soooooo good.
- Messa // The Spin – It’s Messa, fool! ‘Nuff said. There was no way I was getting out of 2025’s Listurnalia without mentioning the new album from one of my favorite doom bands.
- Depravity // Bestial Possession – This thing blew my socks off and, had I gotten more time to spend with it, might have threatened to rattle the cage of my list order for sure. Death metal done right.
- Diabolizer // Murderous Revelations – I had been in a death metal drought when I picked up Murderous Revelations; its traditional, no-frills approach hitting me hard. This one came so close to listing for me, I could smell its charred, crispy, burnt ends.
- Lipoma // No Cure for the Sick – Gurgly gore vocals over a circus parade of melodic death metal riffs. What’s not to like? I had tons of fun with this thing.
- Puteraeon // Mountains of Madness – Puteraeon was a band that had never been on my radar. Mountains of Madness’s mature aesthetic, great storyline, and engagingly crafted melodicism took me entirely by surprise.
Song o’ the Year:
‘Twas a mother-fookin’ toss up between my top 2 albums. I flipped a coin, so close was the race. (Heads) Structure // (Tails) Dormant Ordeal.
WINNER(?):
Structure – “Will I Deserve It” – Satisfyingly goose-bumpy!8
Killjoy
The fact that I’m writing this list feels nothing short of surreal. When I became a regular reader of this blog in 2019, I had a strong interest in metal but a knowledge of only a handful of its subgenres. I did not expect to make it this far when I auditioned, but somehow I became a member of the Freezer Crew. Although we were initially forced to huddle together for warmth to survive the n00b trials, as time went on, I developed a deep respect for all of my Crewmates. Their camaraderie and encouragement were great motivation for me to keep writing this year, even when it was tough. We were even allowed to organize a special edition Rodeö! I’m so proud to associate with them.
On a more somber note, I was sad to see many of the longtime writers who helped me fall in love with this site slip into the abyss we sometimes call “non-suspicious sabbatical.” While I will miss reading their eloquent words, their legacy and contributions will always influence and inspire me.
And now for some thank yous. I’m grateful to AMG Himself for creating the site and allowing me to run rampant with my questionable opinions. A gorilla-sized thanks to Steel Druhm for keeping day-to-day operations running and being the kindest, cruelest taskmaster I could hope for. Thank you to my list mate, Tyme, for making my musical tastes seem better by association. Finally, I’d like to publicly thank my wife for being so supportive of my new hobby.
I’m excited for what awaits in 2026 (which hopefully includes more power metal than I managed to review in 2025)!
#ish. Kauan // Wayhome – Kauan has demonstrated time and again that their ability to compose evocative soundscapes is unmatched in the post-rock sphere. Wayhome draws a little bit from different eras in Kauan’s fruitful career to form a richer, warmer experience. Each individual instrument—acoustic and electric guitars, strings, voice—is a crucial brush stroke in a breathtaking panorama. This is some of the most enchanting music I’ve ever heard.
#10. Anfauglir // Akallabêth – When I first grabbed Akallabêth for review, I was blissfully unaware of the 72-minute runtime (but probably should have had an inkling). After spending some time with it, I became blissfully aware of how awesome it is. Based on the chapter of Tolkien’s The Silmarillion chronicling the 3,000-year rise and fall of the island of Númenor, Akallabêth is as epic in sound as it is in scope. Mrs. Killjoy was more interested in the concept than the music, but it still made for some fun conversations. While the long runtime makes it a bit harder to revisit than the other entries on this list, this is my idea of a great symphonic black metal album.
#9. In Mourning // The Immortal – Progressive death metal comes in all shapes and sizes, and I tend to be drawn to the more emotive flavors. When Disillusion released Ayam a few years ago, it took me a while to understand the hype. In a similar manner, it took longer than it probably should have for me to appreciate The Immortal. I don’t know why this was, but in both cases I’m glad I stuck with them. In Mourning’s signature combination of earnest melodies and energetic riffs is now embedded in my mind and heart.
#8. Asira // As Ink in Water – Due to journalistic circumstances that I won’t discuss with fans, I was fortunate enough to obtain this promo earlier than I normally would have. Good thing, too, because As Ink in Water turned out to be a grower for me. The vocals proved much less popular in the comments than I anticipated, but they are the biggest reason why this record resonates with me. The buttery-smooth guitar and bass lines are another big factor. The fact that As Ink in Water was released during the tail end of 2025 might mean it appears on fewer top ten lists, but it should not be missed.
#7. Judicator // Concord – I don’t have a long history with Judicator. I am part of the seemingly small minority that prefers the post-Cordisco era, although I admit that I need to spend more time with their earlier work. Concord sees Judicator returning to their heavy/power metal roots after an experimental foray into progressive territory (which I also loved!). Other than brief saxophone and fiddle segments, there aren’t any fancy frills this time, only lots of guitar hooks and infectious choruses. And, in this case, that’s more than enough to make me happy.
#6. Valhalore // Beyond the Stars – I don’t normally see the point in quibbling about scores, however, I feel that Beyond the Stars was soundly underrated. It’s a distillation of everything I love about peak Eluveitie and Æther Realm. The folk instrumentation blends perfectly with the fast-paced melodic death metal elements. The interludes cleverly foreshadow and ease the listener into the subsequent songs. I also love the tender vocal performance by Anna Murphy towards the end. Beyond the Stars is a fun and emotional journey from start to finish.
#5. Gloombound // Dreaming Delusion – I’m always down to sample funeral doom, but it takes a very special kind to keep me coming back. Gloombound expertly walks the difficult balance between atmospheric and stimulating music. The overall sound is that of a soul trying to escape imprisonment, whether physical, emotional, or mental. Dreaming Delusion makes me feel different emotions every time I listen, but chief among them is a crushing awe.
#4. Phantom Spell // Heather & Hearth – I love uplifting, feel-good metal (this should not come as a surprise by now). So, it was almost inevitable that I would love the nostalgic keyboards and guitar solos of Heather & Hearth. But, for some reason, it took AMG’s landmark blog post about the evils of Spotify for me to really pay attention to Phantom Spell. I’m grateful I did, because I might have missed out on one of the most addictive pieces of progressive rock I’ve ever heard.
#3. Halocraft // The Sky Will Remember – Halocraft quickly became one of my favorite bands since I discovered them early this year. Their purposeful yet dreamy brand of post-rock is practically custom-made for me. This year, they expanded their creative limits by writing two very different records. I’m partial to The Sky Will Remember, but don’t miss out on its companion, To Leave a Single Wolf Alive, for a gloomier vibe. Their prior albums are really good too, and I listen to them just as often.
#2. An Abstract Illusion // The Sleeping City – “If not 4.5, then why 4.5 shaped?”, one of you rabble-rousers quipped about my review of The Sleeping City. The truth is, the more time I spend with it, the more I wonder if maybe I did underrate it. I’ve somehow grown to love The Sleeping City even more in the months since I awarded it a 4.0. Sure, the production leaves much to be desired, but there aren’t any other notable qualities that I would consider faults. It won’t appeal to the exact same audience as the legendary Woe, but I have plenty of room in my heart for both (and likely whatever An Abstract Illusion devises next). It was such an honor to write about this wondrous record.
#1. Black Narcissus // There Lingers One Who’s Long Forgotten – When I plucked There Lingers One Who’s Long Forgotten from the promo pit, I was a little skeptical about music made with only bass and drums. It turns out, though, that this minimalist approach—along with excellent songwriting, of course—was the key to unlocking a new realm of possibility within the post-rock genre. The bass blooms unfettered in this distraction-free biome, and the drum tone is crisp and refreshing. The two instruments intertwine to engender a spirit of companionship and exploration. There Lingers One Who’s Long Forgotten will always have a special place in my heart, and I am grateful to Black Narcissus for sharing this gift.
Honorable Mentions:
- Crimson Shadows // Whispers of War – As a parent of two children under age five, I am not often in the mood to be overstimulated by the media I consume. However, Whispers of War is so fun that I have to make an exception. The addition of melodic death metal feels like such a natural progression to the signature DragonForce style that conquered my naive teenage heart circa Guitar Hero III.
- Wyatt E. // Zamāru Ultu Qereb Ziqquratu Part 1 – My very first score safety violation! After spending more time with it, I can understand how some might see this as incomplete or underdeveloped, though I’m willing to give Wyatt E. the benefit of the doubt while I wait for Part 2.
- Bergfried // Romantik III – I’m a sucker for a good rock opera. Romantik III is undeniably rough around the edges, but not in a way that rubs off any of its charm. To the contrary, in my opinion.
- Moron Police // Pachinko – Talk about a late-year list disruptor! Pachinko is a wild and addictive whirlwind of prog/pop rock that I know for a fact I’ll still be spinning next year.
- Braia // Vertentes de lá e cá – Vibrant folk rock with a huge array of instruments and musical influences. This didn’t get nearly as much attention as it deserves.
- Aganoor // Doomerism – Okay, maaaaybe I overrated this by half a point. But it’s still really solid psychedelic stoner doom with catchy riffs and lush instrumental breaks.
- Ancient Bards // Artifex – Am I only including this one for sentimental reasons? Probably. But it does contain some of my favorite songs of the year (“My Prima Nox,” “Soulbound Symphony,” “My Blood and Blade”) that I still revisit regularly.
Song o’ the Year:
Judicator – “Concord”
#2025 #Aganoor #AnAbstractIllusion #AncientBards #Anfauglir #Antino #Antinoë #Asira #Bergfried #BlackNarcissus #BlogPosts #Braia #CaveSermon #CrimsonShadows #CripplingAlcoholism #Cryptopsy #DaxRiggs #Depravity #Diabolizer #DormantOrdeal #Gloombound #Halocraft #Igorrr #Imperishable #InMourning #Judicator #Kauan #KingWitch #Lipoma #Lists #Listurnalia #MaudTheMoth #Messa #MoronPolice #MutagenicHost #PhantomSpell #Pissgrave #Puteraeon #Structure #TymeSAndKilljoySTop10IshOf2025 #Valhalore #WyattE -
Gibsons of Leith: the thread about the enterprising fish smokers who became pioneers of Scottish aviation
This thread was originally written and published in February 2023.
In a previous thread, we looked at the Edinburgh Aviation Craze of 1910, when a few local citizens dared to dream that they might fly in machines they had crafted from their own hands. One of those men was John Gibson, and this is his story. John was born in September 1856, the first child of Margaret Forrest and John Gibson of New Street, Fisherrow, the small harbour village just to the west of Musselburgh. John (senior) was a fish curer and town councillor, like his father before him, and the family lived in a house by the name of Gibson’s Land. The family moved to Liverpool in the 1860s, business at Fisherrow having been disrupted by the coming of the railways. John Junior went to sea as an apprentice aged 14, learning that trade across the globe on oceanic sailing ships.
In August 1875, when aged just 18, he found himself wrecked off Cape Horn after the on which he was serving had to be abandoned. The Albert Gallatin of Liverpool became uncontrollable after losing her rudder and was in danger of being wrecked on the rocky shore of the Ildefenso Islands to the south of Chile. The ship’s complement of 30 took to the boats; the first mate and 20 seamen in the larger and Captain Groves, his wife and two children, and five seamen including John in the smaller. The latter boat made it safely to Islas Hermite, where they spent 9 days, before setting off again in search of something from which to construct a sail. After 2 days fruitless rowing they landed on another island, where they were reduced to a diet of half a cracker and 3½ ounces of salt beef each per day and suffered badly from exposure. They were fortuitously rescued by the ship Syren of Boston after 18 days. The other 21 men were never seen again.
Islas Hermite, CC-by-SA 3.0, Jerzy StrzeleckiJohn Senior moved the family back to Scotland around this time, re-establishing his fish curing business in Leith, but his son fancied his chances and headed to Australia to prospect for Gold. Not striking it rich, he soon returned home and joined the family trade, dealing in smoked fish in Newhaven. In 1897 he set himself up as a dealer of machinery and soon took to repair work and it was not long before this extended to bicycles. He entered the cycle trade at 109 Leith Walk around 1905, this business soon took the name of the Caledonian Cycle Works. These premises had substantial workshops to the rear, under the Manderston Street railway arches, perfect space for Gibson to indulge in tinkering with bikes, cars and engines.
Plaque dedicated to John Gibson adjacent to his “Caledonian Cycle Works” at 109 Leith Walk, which now houses a Salvation Army shop. The date given for his birth does not match his birth certificate and as nice as it is to imagine the fact, he did not build Scotland’s first aircraft (although he did claim to!).Local newspaper adverts for the Caledonian Cycle Works in 1907It’s not exactly clear why, but in early 1909 John Gibson decided to get himself into the aircraft industry by building his own machines. Perhaps he was inspired by those two other bicycle repair shop proprietors; Orville and Wilbur Wright. Or perhaps it was the contemporary adventures of Scotland’s other aviation pioneers, which had been plastered all over the newspapers. The Barnwell brothers of Stirling – Frank and Harold – had been experimenting with gliders and had even tried to fit an internal combustion engine to one in 1905. In 1908, Lt. Laurence D. L. Gibbs made short, powered hops in a curious, swept-wing, “automatic stability” biplane called the Dunne D.4 in much secrecy in Glen Tilt near Blair Atholl. In July 1909, the Barnwells made the first powered flight in Scotland. Closer to home for Gibson there was a financial incentive to budding aviators too; in September 1909, the directors of the Marine Gardens amusement park in Portobello had offered a £500 prize, good for 1 year, for the first flight across the Firth of Forth by a Briton in a British-built plane, so long as it started from Marine Gardens. It was noted in April 1910 that Mr Charles Hubbard, an engineer living at Viewforth, was experimenting with a Bleriot-type monoplane of his own construction on Portobello Golf Course and had made a number of powered hops before it crashed.
Suitably inspired, Gibson’s first forays into aeroplanes were quarter-scale models, c. 10 feet long and certainly showing the influence of the Wright Brothers: being biplanes controlled by warping the wings and by a canard (a leading control surface rather than a tail), being powered by two propellers driven by chains from a single engine and by landing on skis. They were built both to hone and refine Gibson’s techniques and design, but also as demonstration pieces to be put on public show. In total he built nineteen different models, and the design of his craft evolved over this time.
An early variant Gibson aeroplane, before the Farman type. This one may be that described as being shown at the Leith Flower Show in Victoria Park in August 1910A subsequent model, from a photo submitted to Flight magazine by John Gibson in February 1912. It is beginning to look more like a Farman-type, but still retains features of the earlier craft above such as the chain-driven propellersThe definitive model moved up to half-scale, 15½ feet long and 12 feet in span, and adopted the layout of Henry Farman, a French aviation pioneer and a type which was very popular in the UK at that time. Again a canard biplane, it had movable ailerons on the wing-tips for control, a single, 7-cylinder rotary engine and the refinement of wheels with rubber suspension added to the landing skis. This was built specifically to exhibit in London and Berlin in March and April of 1910 respectively and was sponsored by the North British Rubber Company to exhibit their rubberised aircraft fabric. The structure was of ash wood, braced by piano wires.
The Gibson Farman-type half-scale biplane, at the company’s workshops in Manderston StreetEven before half-sized Farman model was completed, Gibson had already moved on to the construction of a full-sized version of it – Caledonia No. 1. In July 1910 it was ready and The Scotsman reported it to be 30 feet long and 28 feet in span, with a loaded weight of 700 lbs. It was powered by a 3-cylinder, water-cooled engine of 30 hp, driving a 2-bladed propeller of 6 feet 8 inches at 1,100 rpm. The pilot sat on the lower wing, with the engine to his back and the radiators on either side. In contrast to the model, the vertical tails were mounted one above the other, rather than side-by-side. Construction was of silver spruce, with elm skids, and again it was covered in North British rubberised fabric. The aircraft could be disassembled for transport, and a photo of it exists in a field outside Edinburgh being put back together again. Gibson told the press that the only part of his machine that was not built in Scotland was its engine. He had intended to enter the machine into the Royal Aero Club’s inaugural Scottish flying meeting at Lanark Racecourse in August of that year, but the proprietors were wary of the public relations disasters experienced by other events as a result of amateur flyers who could not convince their homespun machines to take off and barred all but experienced pilots in proven aircraft. Gibson was disappointed to be excluded from the Lanark meet, but this was probably for the best as No. 1 refused to take off.
Gibson’s Caledonia No. 1, probably at Balerno. Photograph donated by John Gibson’s son G. T. Gibson to the National Museums of Scotland and on display at the East Fortune Museum of FlightUndeterred, the machine was rebuilt as Caledonia No. 2, and in August it is reputed to have managed to make some short, controlled hops at Buteland Farm, outside Balerno, with Gibson’s 30 year old son – John G. Gibson (the G was for Gibson!) – at the controls. The main visual changes to No. 2 were the twin canards at the front and the curved supporting skids between them and the wheels (which protected the plane in the event of it nosing-over on take off and landing).
Caledonia No. 2, from photos submitted by John Gibson in August 1910, before it had managed a controlled flight. His son, John G., is at the controls.Gibson undertook some of the flying himself, but as injured in a crash and broke his leg. Thereafter he deferred most of the flight testing to his son – John G. There are mentions online of testing being undertaken on Leith Links, but I can find no references to substantiate this, and as far as I’m aware Buteland Farm was used as their test ground. The Gibsons now had a working aircraft and began soliciting for orders, charging £450 for a complete machine. Full-page spread adverts were placed in the Edinburgh and Leith post office directories:
Gibson’s Aeroplanes advert from 1910-11, from the Edinburgh & Leith Post Office Directory.Planes, Tails, Ailerons, supplied on receipt of measurements and other details on very short notice.
Advert for Gibson’s Aeroplanes, 1910-11
Best materials only used. Your orders solicited for Scottish-built Planes.
Spare parts or complete machines.
Wood Spars cut any length, straight-grained and free from knots.
Aeroplane Fabric, all grades, at factory prices.
We make Aluminium castings from customer’s patterns or drawings. Wood patterns made to order.
We undertake Aeroplane repairs.Nine more machines were built by the company in the next few years, most for sale to private customers. In September 1911, Gibson reported to the press that one of his machines – Caledonia No. 11 – had accidentally but successfully performed a “somersault” in the air when being flown at Cramond by Gordon T. Cooper, the son of the secretary of the Edinburgh Aeronautical Association. In November of that year, one of the Gibson machines was included in the display of the Scottish Aeronautical Society at the National Exhibition, at Kelvingrove in Glasgow.
An American Farman biplane in flight in 1910, with a passenger clinging on to a strut next to the pilot.Of the 11 full-size machines built by the Gibsons, four were written off in crashes, one was destroyed in a fire when on display at an exhibition in Brussels and another met the same fate in the Manderston Street workshop. Progress seems then to have stalled, this is perhaps because John G. had graduated from Edinburgh University as a prize-winner and passed an entry exam to the Indian Civil Service, which gained him a prestigious appointment in London with the HM Office of Works. A larger machine was designed in 1913 and was said to be under construction the following year when the outbreak of war saw it being cancelled. This event saw John G. join the Royal Engineers, and he was twice wounded during the conflict. Post-war he took a civil service job attached to the Air Ministry.
Wooden propeller from a Gibson aeroplane at the National Museums of Scotland Museum of Flight at East Fortune. Given the date, and the size, this may have been fitted to the Farman-type half scale model.During the war, the Caledonian Cycles business was relocated to Dalry Road and the Leith Walk premises and its workshops became the Caledonian Motor Works, with additional workshop premises being taken on Sloan Street and Jameson Place nearby. Business became focussed on providing bodies for lorries and post-war the company would become a principal agent in Scotland for Leyland lorries and buses, with premises taken in King Street, Aberdeen to serve the north-east of Scotland. Later they would become an agent for Morris Commercial Vehicles.
John Gibson (senior) died aged 79, at his home at 19 Pilrig Street in Leith on August 7th 1935. The Scottish newspapers mourned his passing and noted a surprising further string to his bow; he was an acknowledged authority on Egyptology and a Fellow of the Society of Antiquities. John G.’s younger brother – George Thomson Gibson – seems to have largely taken over the running of the company. George was a capable engineer – taking out his first patent for improvements to motorcycle frame joints in 1918. In the 1950s he took out a series of patents for improvements to refuse vehicles and these would become something of a company speciality.
1957 patent by George T. Gibson for a tipping refuse lorryAnother line of business was “Gibson Towers”, which they designed and built for themselves; mobile platforms for working at height. Still based in Leith, a pleasing throwback to their aviation heritage was the continued use of “Aero, Edinburgh” as the telegram address.
A 1956 advert for Gibson TowersGeorge T. died in Edinburgh in 1960 aged 69. John G. died in 1970, aged 80. The company continued for a while after the death of the Gibson brothers, being closed and wound-up in 1975.
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The thread about the Salisbury Arms and the famous literary association that never was
Here’s an eye-catching headline one one of those sites that passes itself off as local news from today. “First Look at transformed Edinburgh boozer visited by Arthur Conan Doyle“.
Edinburgh Live headline, 25th June 2025. “First Look at transformed Edinburgh boozer visited by Arthur Conan Doyle”.The piece goes on, “Once a favourite watering hole of the iconic Sir Arthur Conan Doyle“. Stop the bus! Arthur Conan Doyle was a regular in the Salisbury Arms? That’s news to me! Now, I’ll readily admit that I don’t know everything about Edinburgh, but something here feels a bit off.
There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact.
The Adventure of the Copper Beeches, Arthur Conan Doyle
But let’s be fair, not everyone spends quite so much time poring over local history as I do, and not everyone will be irked enough by something that troubles them to look more into it. But I’m not everyone and I was sceptical and so in the best spirit of Sherlock Holmes I set out to do a little deduction of my own. To paraphrase the great detective, when it comes to Edinburgh history “it is my business to know what other people do not know!”
Sherlock Holmes statue in Edinburgh, erected opposite the birthplace of Conan Doyle. CC-by-SA 3.0 Kim Traynor via WikimediaThe first indicator that something isn’t quite right is that the website of the Salisbury Arms itself doesn’t trouble to mention its famous literary association. The game is afoot! Delving a bit deeper, a quick tap of the keys in a search engine traces the Conan Doyle claim back to an advertorial piece from the Scotsman in June 2011. In this it is stated – without reference – “Apparently Sherlock Holmes author Arthur Conan Doyle used to frequent the hostelry now known as The Salisbury Arms in Dalkeith Road.” That word apparently is key here and from it we should suspect that the author was well aware that their claim was without evidence. Wind the clock forward to January 2017 and we find in the sister publication, Evening News, a repetition and reinforcement of the claim: “The most intriguing connection the Salisbury Arms has is with the fictional private detective Sherlock Holmes” it gushes, before quickly contradicting itself; “Whether Conan Doyle was ever a visitor… is unclear” and then instantly trying to get itself out of jail with “but it is thought he dropped by on a few occasions“. Once again I think our author was very aware that there was nothing to back up the claims they were making. By this point I’m willing to stake a round of drinks on the fact that my initial cynicism is well founded.
“Historic Salisbury Arms to undergo major renovation work”, Evening News, January 14th 2017.I could stop there, but I like to be both firm and fair in my debunking and come to an argument armed with the facts, so I shan’t.
It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.
A Scandal in Bohemia, Arthur Conan Doyle
So let us take a proper look into the history of the Salisbury Arms, after all history is probably why you are reading this in the first place! Along the way I can attempt to keep my reputation intact by offering a well evidenced counter argument, I can demonstrate the sort of readily accessible sources that you a I can turn to for investigating a case such as this and and hopefully we can all learn something more of the history of the place in question and write it down for the benefit of others (particularly writers of local news!). Looking at the building in question itself, it doesn’t need an expert eye make a sure guess that it probably began life as a Georgian villa.
The Salisbury Arms, Edinburgh, 2015. © Paul Farmer, CC-by-SA 2.0 via Geograph.A quick search through the online Book of The Old Edinburgh Club – one of my frequent first ports of call for local history queries – brings us to Volume 24 and pages 152-197, “The Lands of Newington and Their Owners“, by W. Forbes Gray. In this piece we find that a house and plot here was seised (officially registered) to Francis Nalder, merchant, in 1812. Referring to a map of the area around this time – Kirkwood’s Town Plan of Edinburgh of 1817 is a reliable source, freely accessible from the National Library of Scotland – we see Mr. Nalder’s name appears as landowner here too.
Kirkwood’s town plan of Edinburgh, 1817. Showing “Nalder” on the site of the house which is now the Salisbury Arms. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandFrom Forbes Gray’s we learn that this plot was one of just many such others which were feued from the Newington Estate in the early 19th century to create a new suburb. Newington’s lands were an irregular rectangle defined by the Gibbet Loan (now Preston Street) to the north, East and West Mayfield to the south, Dalkeith Road to the east and the turnpike road south to Selkirk and Carlisle (now Minto Street) to the west. There was a large house, Newington House, in the southeastern quarter. This estate was an old one but had been split into six lots by the city back in the 16th century. Over subsequent centuries, five of the plots were acquired and combined by the Lauder of Fountainhall family, from where they passed to John Henderson of Leistoun. Henderson’s grandson bought the sixth and final plot in 1733, reuniting the estate and taking for himself the title Henderson of Newington.
1817 Kirkwood town plan of Edinburgh, highlighting the lands of Newington. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandAt this time the Newington House on the above map had not yet been built and there was instead an older mansion located in the northwest corner at the end of what is now West Newington Place. It is shown on the Ordnance Survey 1849 Town Plan as Old Newington House. After Henderson the lands were acquired in 1751 by a saddler, Patrick Crichton. The financial problems of his son Alexander in the 1780s saw loans taken out, secured against the estate, which were defaulted on. One of the major creditors came to an agreement in 1803 whereby Benjamin Bell of Hunthill, surgeon, bought Newington for £5,000 thus settling the debt.
Benjamin Bell by Sir Henry Raeburn (c. 1780-90). From “Raeburn to Redpath” booklet by Bourne Fine Art, Edinburgh, via Wikimedia.Bell, “the first Scottish scientific surgeon” and “father of the Edinburgh school of Surgery” built the new Newington House but died in 1806, before he had a chance to settle in and enjoy it. It so happens that he was the great grandfather of Joseph Bell, the surgeon and lecturer known as the inspiration from which Arthur Conan Doyle formed Sherlock Holmes. So finally we arrive at a kernel of a grain of truth in at least one aspect of our story. Bell’s eldest son, George, sold Newington House to Sir George Steuart of Grandtully in 1807 and Steuart bought up more of the land shortly thereafter to form gardens around the house, but also with a farsighted view that he could feu this land himself, and his own charter indeed allowed him to do so after a period of time had elapsed. In due course, his estate-within-an-estate would later be developed into the planned suburb of the Blacket Estate.
1817 Kirkwood Plan of Edinburgh centred on Newington House, showing land owners as Sir George Stewart (sic) of Grandtully, Bart. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandHaving sold the house, George Bell and his brothers began the process of feuing the rest of their land here into plots for fashionable new suburban villas. To distinguish theirs from Steuart’s holding, they gave his district an on-trend new name which also happened to be a pun on their own: Belleville. On the 1826 feuing plan on the NLS maps site, both names are given:
“Plan of the Lands of Newington and Belleville, 1826”. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandThis new name for the district stuck for a short while in the newspapers, but old habits can die hard and it soon reverted back to being just plain old Newington. But two houses kept the former name alive; Belleville Lodge on South Blacket Place (now Blacket Avenue) and Belleville at 58 Dalkeith Road – which is that house which would much later become the Salisbury Arms. The first record of that name being used in connection with the house that I can find is on the 1855 valuation roll over on Scotland’s People, with the owner and occupant being listed as William Donaldson, Grocer. By 1865 he has been replaced by Miss Mary Duncan as “William Donaldson’s Representative“. She is still the owner in 1875, but the occupant is one James M. Watters, Captain.
Belleville Lodge. A gate pier carries the name “Belleville Lodge” painted on it and also on a brass plaque, complete with a sign to the right saying “Belleville Lodge. Mansfield Care”.Come 1885 there is once again a new owner and occupier; William Nelson of Salisbury Green. This latter house you can see on the 1817 map above of the Newington Estate is directly to the east of Belleville, it’s the baronial pile opposite which now forms part of the Pollock Halls complex. Confusingly the same valuation rolls show William also owned and occupied Salisbury Green at this time, it’s not clear why he needed both! He was a wealthy publisher of the family firm Thomas Nelson & Sons, whose vast Parkside Works lay just across the way, and who is known for restoring St. Bernard’s Well at Stockbridge and St. Margaret’s Chapel in Edinburgh Castle.
Salisbury Green house, a 3-storey mansion in the Scottish Baronial Revival style.Ownership of Belleville never seemed to stay with one person for long. By 1895 the valuation rolls show it was Robert Inch, a well known and prosperous seed merchant who ran his business from the Timberbush in Leith. He died there in 1912, after which it was bought by its next door neighbour, Mrs Jane Binning Burn Murdoch of Arthur Lodge . Regular listeners might be familiar with the Burn Murdoch name, she was the wife of the artist and explorer WG Burn Murdoch who was so involved in helping Edinburgh Zoo acquire its first polar bears, at the same time as indulging in his passion for trophy hunting them. The house was let out and an advert at this time gives us a description of its accommodation and features:
Newspaper advert for the lease of “Belleville” house. “Entrance hall, cloak room, 3 public rooms, billiard room, 8 bedrooms, 2 dressing rooms, 2 bathrooms, laundry and ample servants’ accommodation” plus stables and garaging. The Scotsman – 19 March 1913Mrs Burn Murdoch’s maiden name was Usher, she was a daughter of Andrew Usher of that distilling dynasty which financed and lends its name to the Usher Hall. Belleville by 1930 was in the hands and occupation of her sister, Elizabeth Usher Cunningham and in turn by 1935 it was Elizabeth’s son, Howard, who was there. Howard Usher Cunningham served with the Royal Irish Regiment during World War 1 at Gallipoli, in the Balkans and in Palestine, being awarded the Military Cross in the last theatre. He was in the fertiliser business with the family firm of J. & J. Cunningham of Leith, which was one of the five constituent companies of the Scottish Agricultural Industries conglomerate which formed in 1928. He was appointed director in 1929, rising to Managing Director in 1947. During World War 2 he was the Ministry of Supply Fertiliser Controller for the country, which earned him a knighthood.
In 1942 the house of Belleville was turned over to the Edinburgh Home for Babies and School of Mothercraft, a charitable maternity home and training establishment for both midwives and young (often single) mothers. This organisation had lost its base on Colinton Road to the Civil Defence for the duration of the war and at first had been evacuated to the countryside, but returned to the city in 1942 once the immediate threat was passed where it could better undertake its work. Usher Cunningham returned to the house briefly after the war but by 1948 it had been taken over by the Relief Society for Poles in London as the Polish House, a Polish community centre for exiles and a headquarters for organisations such as the Polish YMCA and Scottish-Polish Society.
Scotsman article, 29 January 1948, showing a picture of the dining room of 58 Dalkeith Road under the title “Polish Centre in Edinburgh”, with two columns below of description.The Polish House was transient and soon moved on as Poles in Edinburgh either emigrated or integrated, it relocated to Drummond Place where it joined the Polish Press Agency. In 1950 the Edinburgh Corporation looked to acquire the building as a remand school but it was instead opened as the Davidson Clinic, to treat young adults and children with “anxiety illnesses“. The Clinic took its name from the Davidson Church in Eyre Place, where the idea for it had been formed by the minister. It practised what we would now call psychotherapy and had been established in the city in 1941 as a charitable institution. Under its lead doctor, GP Dr Winifred Rushforth, it took a pioneering approach to dealing with nervous and anxiety conditions.
Dr Winifred Rushforth (1885–1983) by Victoria Crowe. © Victoria Crowe. Credit: Museums & Galleries EdinburghThe Davidson Clinic remained a charity and closely associated with the Church of Scotland for its existence. Never part of the NHS it relocated from Belleville in 1968 and was closed in 1973. Key members of this organisation, including Winifred Rushforth, would go on to find the similar Wellspring clinic. Belleville was now acquired again by the Usher family, this time by Thomas Usher & Sons, the brewing branch of the dynasty. Ushers successfully applied for a licence to turn it into a modern roadhouse type pub and restaurant. Despite local objections it opened as such in 1970 as the Commonwealth-games inspired Gold Medal Tavern. The Gold Medal found its way into the Alloa Brewery’s portfolio, who refurbished it in 1986 and renamed the restaurant to Waffles. With a trendy open plan dining area and kitchen, it offered “pizzas, pasta, hamburgers, steaks and chicken“. No mention was made of waffles, but traditional pub food could be had in the lounge bar.
Newspaper advert “We’ve pulled a fast one” on the refurbishment of the Gold Medal tavern. Edinburgh Evening News – 15 May 1986Roll forward the clock to 1994 and the pub was acquired by the Firkin brand of Allied Domecq who renamed it The Physician & Firkin, despite it having no obvious connection to medicine. When that chain folded in 2001 it was passed to Bass who branded it as one of their yellow-liveried, sticky-floored It’s a Scream student discount pubs with the new name of The Crags. Come 2011, the pub was re-branded and repositioned once again, becoming the more upmarket Salisbury Arms.
This has all been a very long winded way to say that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle died in 1930 and there was not a pub on the site of the Salisbury Arms until 1970! The original claim is demonstrable nonsense – he definitely never drank in, never mind frequented, this establishment. Furthermore, the association of the Bell family with the house ended in 1807 when it was sold to its first owner, some 30 years before the birth of Joseph Bell. So the chance that he or Conan Doyle have any further connection with it is slim to nil.
So why is any of this important? Am I just showing off about being right about something? Shouldn’t I be magnanimous and attribute this to an innocent journalistic error? Well, you’re probably reading this page because you have an interest in Edinburgh and local history, so I will try and explain why I think that it matters and why you too should be bothered.
Arthur Conan Doyle in 1914, photograph by Walter Benington. Via WikimediaThe first problem is that despite the best efforts of their owning companies to try and destroy all trust in them over the last 20 or so years, faith is still put by many in local newspapers as they trade on past reputations and a lack of alternatives. They and their websites are still held as being reliable places to find things out and they still command a wide local reach; people will read what they write and there’s a good chance they will accept it. Why shouldn’t they? The Evening News even has a strapline at the top of every page which says “News you can trust since 1873“, it invites you to believe it. So when it publishes historical facts without substantiation, they will inevitably become accepted as facts. The irony is not lost on me that a lot of what you will read on this very website has been arrived at by trawling through previous generations of these very local newspapers. I too have to trust that what was being printed in the pages of the Evening News or the Scotsman at the time was an accurate and factual record.
But this shouldn’t be a problem I hear you say, people have the sum of the world’s knowledge at their fingertips these days and can just check a search engine to verify a fact. So let’s do just that and perform a quick experiment by doing what many people do these days to adjudicate a point: let’s ask Google “which pub did Arthur Conan Doyle drink in?”.
Oh, so it was The Salisbury Arms. Mea culpa, if it’s on Google it must be true, right? But give the result a second glance, that’s not actually a search result. That’s an answer automatically generated by Google’s AI Overview and presented above and before the actual search results. It’s what some might call machine generated slop, an approximation of what looks like a plausible answer arrived at by a statistical analysis of a very large data set. It is the year 2025 and the problem of the Evening News presenting theory as fact is no longer confined to the reach of its own readership. Local news websites are now constantly crawled and trawled as the training material for the Large Language Models that are commonly referred to as AI. Local news is the factual foodstuff, chewed, digested, reconstituted and regurgitated by the LLM. And as the old saying goes, if you put garbage in you’ll get garbage out.
Give the above result a third glance and you see a little vague link symbol at the end of the word soup of that first paragraph. Click that link and it will suggest to you the source from which it came to its conclusions. So I did this and what should we see but two “references”, the oldest of which is only a day old and is the very same article which got me started! The second is a copy-and-paste effort of the first, barely hours old on the internet at this time.
And here is the big problem I’ve been trying to get at. We’ve just got a complete worked example of Google inventing itself a new fact about an important figure in Edinburgh local history, and people will believe it, because it is Google and that is were a huge number of people turn to for information, and because it is substantiated by links to local news websites, which many people still put trust in. That fact is now out of the bag and once it’s out, it is very hard to put it back in. Check in on the above search in a few months, weeks, or even days and you will undoubtedly see the fact has replicated itself across multiple other sources like a virus. And those sources will now in turn be consumed once again by Large Language Models, which will spit out the same result in future with ever more confidence. We’re all going to have to get used to accepting a lot less of what is presented to us fact and doing a lot more of our own verification if we want to find out the actual answer…
Ouroboros, the serpent consuming its own tail, a symbol for eternal cyclic renewalIf you have found this useful, informative or amusing, perhaps you would like to help contribute towards the running costs of this site – including keeping it ad-free and my book-buying budget to find further stories to bring you – by supporting me on ko-fi. Or please do just share this post on social media or amongst friends.
These threads © 2017-2025, Andy Arthur.
NO AI TRAINING: Any use of the contents of this website to “train” generative artificial intelligence (AI) technologies to generate text is expressly prohibited. The author reserves all rights to license uses of this work for generative AI training and development of machine learning language models.
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The famous literary association that never was: the thread about the Salisbury Arms
Here’s an eye-catching headline one one of those sites that passes itself off as local news from today. “First Look at transformed Edinburgh boozer visited by Arthur Conan Doyle“.
Edinburgh Live headline, 25th June 2025. “First Look at transformed Edinburgh boozer visited by Arthur Conan Doyle”.The piece goes on, “Once a favourite watering hole of the iconic Sir Arthur Conan Doyle“. Stop the bus! Arthur Conan Doyle was a regular in the Salisbury Arms? That’s news to me! Now, I’ll readily admit that I don’t know everything about Edinburgh, but something here feels a bit off.
There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact.
The Adventure of the Copper Beeches, Arthur Conan DoyleBut let’s be fair, not everyone spends quite so much time poring over local history as I do, and not everyone will be irked enough by something that troubles them to look more into it. But I’m not everyone and I was sceptical and so in the best spirit of Sherlock Holmes I set out to do a little deduction of my own. To paraphrase the great detective, when it comes to Edinburgh history “it is my business to know what other people do not know!”
Sherlock Holmes statue in Edinburgh, erected opposite the birthplace of Conan Doyle. CC-by-SA 3.0 Kim Traynor via WikimediaThe first indicator that something isn’t quite right is that the website of the Salisbury Arms itself doesn’t trouble to mention its famous literary association. The game is afoot! Delving a bit deeper, a quick tap of the keys in a search engine traces the Conan Doyle claim back to an advertorial piece from the Scotsman in June 2011. In this it is stated – without reference – “Apparently Sherlock Holmes author Arthur Conan Doyle used to frequent the hostelry now known as The Salisbury Arms in Dalkeith Road.” That word apparently is key here and from it we should suspect that the author was well aware that their claim was without evidence. Wind the clock forward to January 2017 and we find in the sister publication, Evening News, a repetition and reinforcement of the claim: “The most intriguing connection the Salisbury Arms has is with the fictional private detective Sherlock Holmes” it gushes, before quickly contradicting itself; “Whether Conan Doyle was ever a visitor… is unclear” and then instantly trying to get itself out of jail with “but it is thought he dropped by on a few occasions“. Once again I think our author was very aware that there was nothing to back up the claims they were making. By this point I’m willing to stake a round of drinks on the fact that my initial cynicism is well founded.
“Historic Salisbury Arms to undergo major renovation work”, Evening News, January 14th 2017.I could stop there, but I like to be both firm and fair in my debunking and come to an argument armed with the facts, so I shan’t.
It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.
A Scandal in Bohemia, Arthur Conan DoyleSo let us take a proper look into the history of the Salisbury Arms, after all history is probably why you are reading this in the first place! Along the way I can attempt to keep my reputation intact by offering a well evidenced counter argument, I can demonstrate the sort of readily accessible sources that you a I can turn to for investigating a case such as this and and hopefully we can all learn something more of the history of the place in question and write it down for the benefit of others (particularly writers of local news!). Looking at the building in question itself, it doesn’t need an expert eye make a sure guess that it probably began life as a Georgian villa.
The Salisbury Arms, Edinburgh, 2015. © Paul Farmer, CC-by-SA 2.0 via Geograph.A quick search through the online Book of The Old Edinburgh Club – one of my frequent first ports of call for local history queries – brings us to Volume 24 and pages 152-197, “The Lands of Newington and Their Owners“, by W. Forbes Gray. In this piece we find that a house and plot here was seised (officially registered) to Francis Nalder, merchant, in 1812. Referring to a map of the area around this time – Kirkwood’s Town Plan of Edinburgh of 1817 is a reliable source, freely accessible from the National Library of Scotland – we see Mr. Nalder’s name appears as landowner here too.
Kirkwood’s town plan of Edinburgh, 1817. Showing “Nalder” on the site of the house which is now the Salisbury Arms. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandFrom Forbes Gray’s we learn that this plot was one of just many such others which were feued from the Newington Estate in the early 19th century to create a new suburb. Newington’s lands were an irregular rectangle defined by the Gibbet Loan (now Preston Street) to the north, East and West Mayfield to the south, Dalkeith Road to the east and the turnpike road south to Selkirk and Carlisle (now Minto Street) to the west. There was a large house, Newington House, in the southeastern quarter. This estate was an old one but had been split into six lots by the city back in the 16th century. Over subsequent centuries, five of the plots were acquired and combined by the Lauder of Fountainhall family, from where they passed to John Henderson of Leistoun. Henderson’s grandson bought the sixth and final plot in 1733, reuniting the estate and taking for himself the title Henderson of Newington.
1817 Kirkwood town plan of Edinburgh, highlighting the lands of Newington. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandAt this time the Newington House on the above map had not yet been built and there was instead an older mansion located in the northwest corner at the end of what is now West Newington Place. It is shown on the Ordnance Survey 1849 Town Plan as Old Newington House. After Henderson the lands were acquired in 1751 by a saddler, Patrick Crichton. The financial problems of his son Alexander in the 1780s saw loans taken out, secured against the estate, which were defaulted on. One of the major creditors came to an agreement in 1803 whereby Benjamin Bell of Hunthill, surgeon, bought Newington for £5,000 thus settling the debt.
Benjamin Bell by Sir Henry Raeburn (c. 1780-90). From “Raeburn to Redpath” booklet by Bourne Fine Art, Edinburgh, via Wikimedia.Bell, “the first Scottish scientific surgeon” and “father of the Edinburgh school of Surgery” built the new Newington House but died in 1806, before he had a chance to settle in and enjoy it. It so happens that he was the great grandfather of Joseph Bell, the surgeon and lecturer known as the inspiration from which Arthur Conan Doyle formed Sherlock Holmes. So finally we arrive at a kernel of a grain of truth in at least one aspect of our story. Bell’s eldest son, George, sold Newington House to Sir George Steuart of Grandtully in 1807 and Steuart bought up more of the land shortly thereafter to form gardens around the house, but also with a farsighted view that he could feu this land himself, and his own charter indeed allowed him to do so after a period of time had elapsed.
Newington House in the 1880s, with the family of Lord Provost Duncan McLaren (in top hat) assembled on the lawn. SC1224483 via Trove.ScotIn due course, his estate-within-an-estate would later be developed into the planned suburb of the Blacket Estate (where, ironically, Joseph Bell was an early resident, at number 44). Thank you to Hugh Mackay of the Blacket Association for pointing this out.
1817 Kirkwood Plan of Edinburgh centred on Newington House, showing land owners as Sir George Stewart (sic) of Grandtully, Bart. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandHaving sold the house, George Bell and his brothers began the process of feuing the rest of their land here into plots for fashionable new suburban villas. To distinguish theirs from Steuart’s holding, they gave his district an on-trend new name which also happened to be a pun on their own: Belleville. On the 1826 feuing plan on the NLS maps site, both names are given:
“Plan of the Lands of Newington and Belleville, 1826”. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandThis new name for the district stuck for a short while in the newspapers, but old habits can die hard and it soon reverted back to being just plain old Newington. But two houses kept the former name alive; Belleville Lodge on South Blacket Place (now Blacket Avenue) and Belleville at 58 Dalkeith Road – which is that house which would much later become the Salisbury Arms. The first record of that name being used in connection with the house that I can find is on the 1855 valuation roll over on Scotland’s People, with the owner and occupant being listed as William Donaldson, Grocer. By 1865 he has been replaced by Miss Mary Duncan as “William Donaldson’s Representative“. She is still the owner in 1875, but the occupant is one James M. Watters, Captain.
Belleville Lodge. A gate pier carries the name “Belleville Lodge” painted on it and also on a brass plaque, complete with a sign to the right saying “Belleville Lodge. Mansfield Care”.Come 1885 there is once again a new owner and occupier; William Nelson of Salisbury Green. This latter house you can see on the 1817 map above of the Newington Estate is directly to the east of Belleville, it’s the baronial pile opposite which now forms part of the Pollock Halls complex. Confusingly the same valuation rolls show William also owned and occupied Salisbury Green at this time, it’s not clear why he needed both! He was a wealthy publisher of the family firm Thomas Nelson & Sons, whose vast Parkside Works lay just across the way, and who is known for restoring St. Bernard’s Well at Stockbridge and St. Margaret’s Chapel in Edinburgh Castle.
Salisbury Green house, a 3-storey mansion in the Scottish Baronial Revival style.Ownership of Belleville never seemed to stay with one person for long. By 1895 the valuation rolls show it was Robert Inch, a well known and prosperous seed merchant who ran his business from the Timberbush in Leith. He died there in 1912, after which it was bought by its next door neighbour, Mrs Jane Binning Burn Murdoch of Arthur Lodge . Regular listeners might be familiar with the Burn Murdoch name, she was the wife of the artist and explorer WG Burn Murdoch who was so involved in helping Edinburgh Zoo acquire its first polar bears, at the same time as indulging in his passion for trophy hunting them. The house was let out and an advert at this time gives us a description of its accommodation and features:
Newspaper advert for the lease of “Belleville” house. “Entrance hall, cloak room, 3 public rooms, billiard room, 8 bedrooms, 2 dressing rooms, 2 bathrooms, laundry and ample servants’ accommodation” plus stables and garaging. The Scotsman – 19 March 1913Mrs Burn Murdoch’s maiden name was Usher, she was a daughter of Andrew Usher of that distilling dynasty which financed and lends its name to the Usher Hall. Belleville by 1930 was in the hands and occupation of her sister, Elizabeth Usher Cunningham and in turn by 1935 it was Elizabeth’s son, Howard, who was there. Howard Usher Cunningham served with the Royal Irish Regiment during World War 1 at Gallipoli, in the Balkans and in Palestine, being awarded the Military Cross in the last theatre. He was in the fertiliser business with the family firm of J. & J. Cunningham of Leith, which was one of the five constituent companies of the Scottish Agricultural Industries conglomerate which formed in 1928. He was appointed director in 1929, rising to Managing Director in 1947. During World War 2 he was the Ministry of Supply Fertiliser Controller for the country, which earned him a knighthood.
In 1942 the house of Belleville was turned over to the Edinburgh Home for Babies and School of Mothercraft, a charitable maternity home and training establishment for both midwives and young (often single) mothers. This organisation had lost its base on Colinton Road to the Civil Defence for the duration of the war and at first had been evacuated to the countryside, but returned to the city in 1942 once the immediate threat was passed where it could better undertake its work. Usher Cunningham returned to the house briefly after the war but by 1948 it had been taken over by the Relief Society for Poles in London as the Polish House, a Polish community centre for exiles and a headquarters for organisations such as the Polish YMCA and Scottish-Polish Society.
Scotsman article, 29 January 1948, showing a picture of the dining room of 58 Dalkeith Road under the title “Polish Centre in Edinburgh”, with two columns below of description.The Polish House was transient and soon moved on as Poles in Edinburgh either emigrated or integrated, it relocated to Drummond Place where it joined the Polish Press Agency. In 1950 the Edinburgh Corporation looked to acquire the building as a remand school but it was instead opened as the Davidson Clinic, to treat young adults and children with “anxiety illnesses“. The Clinic took its name from the Davidson Church in Eyre Place, where the idea for it had been formed by the minister. It practised what we would now call psychotherapy and had been established in the city in 1941 as a charitable institution. Under its lead doctor, GP Dr Winifred Rushforth, it took a pioneering approach to dealing with nervous and anxiety conditions.
Dr Winifred Rushforth (1885–1983) by Victoria Crowe. © Victoria Crowe. Credit: Museums & Galleries EdinburghThe Davidson Clinic remained a charity and closely associated with the Church of Scotland for its existence. Never part of the NHS it relocated from Belleville in 1968 and was closed in 1973. Key members of this organisation, including Winifred Rushforth, would go on to find the similar Wellspring clinic. Belleville was now acquired again by the Usher family, this time by Thomas Usher & Sons, the brewing branch of the dynasty. Ushers successfully applied for a licence to turn it into a modern roadhouse type pub and restaurant. Despite local objections it opened as such in 1970 as the Commonwealth-games inspired Gold Medal Tavern. The Gold Medal found its way into the Alloa Brewery’s portfolio, who refurbished it in 1986 and renamed the restaurant to Waffles. With a trendy open plan dining area and kitchen, it offered “pizzas, pasta, hamburgers, steaks and chicken“. No mention was made of waffles, but traditional pub food could be had in the lounge bar.
Newspaper advert “We’ve pulled a fast one” on the refurbishment of the Gold Medal tavern. Edinburgh Evening News – 15 May 1986Roll forward the clock to 1994 and the pub was acquired by the Firkin brand of Allied Domecq who renamed it The Physician & Firkin, despite it having no obvious connection to medicine. When that chain folded in 2001 it was passed to Bass who branded it as one of their yellow-liveried, sticky-floored It’s a Scream student discount pubs with the new name of The Crags. Come 2011, the pub was re-branded and repositioned once again, becoming the more upmarket Salisbury Arms.
This has all been a very long winded way to say that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle died in 1930 and there was not a pub on the site of the Salisbury Arms until 1970! The original claim is demonstrable nonsense – he definitely never drank in, never mind frequented, this establishment. Furthermore, the association of the Bell family with the house ended in 1807 when it was sold to its first owner, some 30 years before the birth of Joseph Bell. So the chance that he or Conan Doyle have any further connection with it is slim to nil.
So why is any of this important? Am I just showing off about being right about something? Shouldn’t I be magnanimous and attribute this to an innocent journalistic error? Well, you’re probably reading this page because you have an interest in Edinburgh and local history, so I will try and explain why I think that it matters and why you too should be bothered.
Arthur Conan Doyle in 1914, photograph by Walter Benington. Via WikimediaThe first problem is that despite the best efforts of their owning companies to try and destroy all trust in them over the last 20 or so years, faith is still put by many in local newspapers as they trade on past reputations and a lack of alternatives. They and their websites are still held as being reliable places to find things out and they still command a wide local reach; people will read what they write and there’s a good chance they will accept it. Why shouldn’t they? The Evening News even has a strapline at the top of every page which says “News you can trust since 1873“, it invites you to believe it. So when it publishes historical facts without substantiation, they will inevitably become accepted as facts. The irony is not lost on me that a lot of what you will read on this very website has been arrived at by trawling through previous generations of these very local newspapers. I too have to trust that what was being printed in the pages of the Evening News or the Scotsman at the time was an accurate and factual record.
But this shouldn’t be a problem I hear you say, people have the sum of the world’s knowledge at their fingertips these days and can just check a search engine to verify a fact. So let’s do just that and perform a quick experiment by doing what many people do these days to adjudicate a point: let’s ask Google “which pub did Arthur Conan Doyle drink in?”.
Oh, so it was The Salisbury Arms. Mea culpa, if it’s on Google it must be true, right? But give the result a second glance, that’s not actually a search result. That’s an answer automatically generated by Google’s AI Overview and presented above and before the actual search results. It’s what some might call machine generated slop, an approximation of what looks like a plausible answer arrived at by a statistical analysis of a very large data set. It is the year 2025 and the problem of the Evening News presenting theory as fact is no longer confined to the reach of its own readership. Local news websites are now constantly crawled and trawled as the training material for the Large Language Models that are commonly referred to as AI. Local news is the factual foodstuff, chewed, digested, reconstituted and regurgitated by the LLM. And as the old saying goes, if you put garbage in you’ll get garbage out.
Give the above result a third glance and you see a little vague link symbol at the end of the word soup of that first paragraph. Click that link and it will suggest to you the source from which it came to its conclusions. So I did this and what should we see but two “references”, the oldest of which is only a day old and is the very same article which got me started! The second is a copy-and-paste effort of the first, barely hours old on the internet at this time.
And here is the big problem I’ve been trying to get at. We’ve just got a complete worked example of Google inventing itself a new fact about an important figure in Edinburgh local history, and people will believe it, because it is Google and that is were a huge number of people turn to for information, and because it is substantiated by links to local news websites, which many people still put trust in. That fact is now out of the bag and once it’s out, it is very hard to put it back in. Check in on the above search in a few months, weeks, or even days and you will undoubtedly see the fact has replicated itself across multiple other sources like a virus. And those sources will now in turn be consumed once again by Large Language Models, which will spit out the same result in future with ever more confidence. We are all of us going to have to get used to accepting a lot less of what is presented to us as fact and doing a lot more of our own verification if we want to find a reliable answer…
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The famous literary association that never was: the thread about the Salisbury Arms
Here’s an eye-catching headline one one of those sites that passes itself off as local news from today. “First Look at transformed Edinburgh boozer visited by Arthur Conan Doyle“.
Edinburgh Live headline, 25th June 2025. “First Look at transformed Edinburgh boozer visited by Arthur Conan Doyle”.The piece goes on, “Once a favourite watering hole of the iconic Sir Arthur Conan Doyle“. Stop the bus! Arthur Conan Doyle was a regular in the Salisbury Arms? That’s news to me! Now, I’ll readily admit that I don’t know everything about Edinburgh, but something here feels a bit off.
There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact.
The Adventure of the Copper Beeches, Arthur Conan DoyleBut let’s be fair, not everyone spends quite so much time poring over local history as I do, and not everyone will be irked enough by something that troubles them to look more into it. But I’m not everyone and I was sceptical and so in the best spirit of Sherlock Holmes I set out to do a little deduction of my own. To paraphrase the great detective, when it comes to Edinburgh history “it is my business to know what other people do not know!”
Sherlock Holmes statue in Edinburgh, erected opposite the birthplace of Conan Doyle. CC-by-SA 3.0 Kim Traynor via WikimediaThe first indicator that something isn’t quite right is that the website of the Salisbury Arms itself doesn’t trouble to mention its famous literary association. The game is afoot! Delving a bit deeper, a quick tap of the keys in a search engine traces the Conan Doyle claim back to an advertorial piece from the Scotsman in June 2011. In this it is stated – without reference – “Apparently Sherlock Holmes author Arthur Conan Doyle used to frequent the hostelry now known as The Salisbury Arms in Dalkeith Road.” That word apparently is key here and from it we should suspect that the author was well aware that their claim was without evidence. Wind the clock forward to January 2017 and we find in the sister publication, Evening News, a repetition and reinforcement of the claim: “The most intriguing connection the Salisbury Arms has is with the fictional private detective Sherlock Holmes” it gushes, before quickly contradicting itself; “Whether Conan Doyle was ever a visitor… is unclear” and then instantly trying to get itself out of jail with “but it is thought he dropped by on a few occasions“. Once again I think our author was very aware that there was nothing to back up the claims they were making. By this point I’m willing to stake a round of drinks on the fact that my initial cynicism is well founded.
“Historic Salisbury Arms to undergo major renovation work”, Evening News, January 14th 2017.I could stop there, but I like to be both firm and fair in my debunking and come to an argument armed with the facts, so I shan’t.
It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.
A Scandal in Bohemia, Arthur Conan DoyleSo let us take a proper look into the history of the Salisbury Arms, after all history is probably why you are reading this in the first place! Along the way I can attempt to keep my reputation intact by offering a well evidenced counter argument, I can demonstrate the sort of readily accessible sources that you a I can turn to for investigating a case such as this and and hopefully we can all learn something more of the history of the place in question and write it down for the benefit of others (particularly writers of local news!). Looking at the building in question itself, it doesn’t need an expert eye make a sure guess that it probably began life as a Georgian villa.
The Salisbury Arms, Edinburgh, 2015. © Paul Farmer, CC-by-SA 2.0 via Geograph.A quick search through the online Book of The Old Edinburgh Club – one of my frequent first ports of call for local history queries – brings us to Volume 24 and pages 152-197, “The Lands of Newington and Their Owners“, by W. Forbes Gray. In this piece we find that a house and plot here was seised (officially registered) to Francis Nalder, merchant, in 1812. Referring to a map of the area around this time – Kirkwood’s Town Plan of Edinburgh of 1817 is a reliable source, freely accessible from the National Library of Scotland – we see Mr. Nalder’s name appears as landowner here too.
Kirkwood’s town plan of Edinburgh, 1817. Showing “Nalder” on the site of the house which is now the Salisbury Arms. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandFrom Forbes Gray’s we learn that this plot was one of just many such others which were feued from the Newington Estate in the early 19th century to create a new suburb. Newington’s lands were an irregular rectangle defined by the Gibbet Loan (now Preston Street) to the north, East and West Mayfield to the south, Dalkeith Road to the east and the turnpike road south to Selkirk and Carlisle (now Minto Street) to the west. There was a large house, Newington House, in the southeastern quarter. This estate was an old one but had been split into six lots by the city back in the 16th century. Over subsequent centuries, five of the plots were acquired and combined by the Lauder of Fountainhall family, from where they passed to John Henderson of Leistoun. Henderson’s grandson bought the sixth and final plot in 1733, reuniting the estate and taking for himself the title Henderson of Newington.
1817 Kirkwood town plan of Edinburgh, highlighting the lands of Newington. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandAt this time the Newington House on the above map had not yet been built and there was instead an older mansion located in the northwest corner at the end of what is now West Newington Place. It is shown on the Ordnance Survey 1849 Town Plan as Old Newington House. After Henderson the lands were acquired in 1751 by a saddler, Patrick Crichton. The financial problems of his son Alexander in the 1780s saw loans taken out, secured against the estate, which were defaulted on. One of the major creditors came to an agreement in 1803 whereby Benjamin Bell of Hunthill, surgeon, bought Newington for £5,000 thus settling the debt.
Benjamin Bell by Sir Henry Raeburn (c. 1780-90). From “Raeburn to Redpath” booklet by Bourne Fine Art, Edinburgh, via Wikimedia.Bell, “the first Scottish scientific surgeon” and “father of the Edinburgh school of Surgery” built the new Newington House but died in 1806, before he had a chance to settle in and enjoy it. It so happens that he was the great grandfather of Joseph Bell, the surgeon and lecturer known as the inspiration from which Arthur Conan Doyle formed Sherlock Holmes. So finally we arrive at a kernel of a grain of truth in at least one aspect of our story. Bell’s eldest son, George, sold Newington House to Sir George Steuart of Grandtully in 1807 and Steuart bought up more of the land shortly thereafter to form gardens around the house, but also with a farsighted view that he could feu this land himself, and his own charter indeed allowed him to do so after a period of time had elapsed.
Newington House in the 1880s, with the family of Lord Provost Duncan McLaren (in top hat) assembled on the lawn. SC1224483 via Trove.ScotIn due course, his estate-within-an-estate would later be developed into the planned suburb of the Blacket Estate (where, ironically, Joseph Bell was an early resident, at number 44). Thank you to Hugh Mackay of the Blacket Association for pointing this out.
1817 Kirkwood Plan of Edinburgh centred on Newington House, showing land owners as Sir George Stewart (sic) of Grandtully, Bart. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandHaving sold the house, George Bell and his brothers began the process of feuing the rest of their land here into plots for fashionable new suburban villas. To distinguish theirs from Steuart’s holding, they gave his district an on-trend new name which also happened to be a pun on their own: Belleville. On the 1826 feuing plan on the NLS maps site, both names are given:
“Plan of the Lands of Newington and Belleville, 1826”. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandThis new name for the district stuck for a short while in the newspapers, but old habits can die hard and it soon reverted back to being just plain old Newington. But two houses kept the former name alive; Belleville Lodge on South Blacket Place (now Blacket Avenue) and Belleville at 58 Dalkeith Road – which is that house which would much later become the Salisbury Arms. The first record of that name being used in connection with the house that I can find is on the 1855 valuation roll over on Scotland’s People, with the owner and occupant being listed as William Donaldson, Grocer. By 1865 he has been replaced by Miss Mary Duncan as “William Donaldson’s Representative“. She is still the owner in 1875, but the occupant is one James M. Watters, Captain.
Belleville Lodge. A gate pier carries the name “Belleville Lodge” painted on it and also on a brass plaque, complete with a sign to the right saying “Belleville Lodge. Mansfield Care”.Come 1885 there is once again a new owner and occupier; William Nelson of Salisbury Green. This latter house you can see on the 1817 map above of the Newington Estate is directly to the east of Belleville, it’s the baronial pile opposite which now forms part of the Pollock Halls complex. Confusingly the same valuation rolls show William also owned and occupied Salisbury Green at this time, it’s not clear why he needed both! He was a wealthy publisher of the family firm Thomas Nelson & Sons, whose vast Parkside Works lay just across the way, and who is known for restoring St. Bernard’s Well at Stockbridge and St. Margaret’s Chapel in Edinburgh Castle.
Salisbury Green house, a 3-storey mansion in the Scottish Baronial Revival style.Ownership of Belleville never seemed to stay with one person for long. By 1895 the valuation rolls show it was Robert Inch, a well known and prosperous seed merchant who ran his business from the Timberbush in Leith. He died there in 1912, after which it was bought by its next door neighbour, Mrs Jane Binning Burn Murdoch of Arthur Lodge . Regular listeners might be familiar with the Burn Murdoch name, she was the wife of the artist and explorer WG Burn Murdoch who was so involved in helping Edinburgh Zoo acquire its first polar bears, at the same time as indulging in his passion for trophy hunting them. The house was let out and an advert at this time gives us a description of its accommodation and features:
Newspaper advert for the lease of “Belleville” house. “Entrance hall, cloak room, 3 public rooms, billiard room, 8 bedrooms, 2 dressing rooms, 2 bathrooms, laundry and ample servants’ accommodation” plus stables and garaging. The Scotsman – 19 March 1913Mrs Burn Murdoch’s maiden name was Usher, she was a daughter of Andrew Usher of that distilling dynasty which financed and lends its name to the Usher Hall. Belleville by 1930 was in the hands and occupation of her sister, Elizabeth Usher Cunningham and in turn by 1935 it was Elizabeth’s son, Howard, who was there. Howard Usher Cunningham served with the Royal Irish Regiment during World War 1 at Gallipoli, in the Balkans and in Palestine, being awarded the Military Cross in the last theatre. He was in the fertiliser business with the family firm of J. & J. Cunningham of Leith, which was one of the five constituent companies of the Scottish Agricultural Industries conglomerate which formed in 1928. He was appointed director in 1929, rising to Managing Director in 1947. During World War 2 he was the Ministry of Supply Fertiliser Controller for the country, which earned him a knighthood.
In 1942 the house of Belleville was turned over to the Edinburgh Home for Babies and School of Mothercraft, a charitable maternity home and training establishment for both midwives and young (often single) mothers. This organisation had lost its base on Colinton Road to the Civil Defence for the duration of the war and at first had been evacuated to the countryside, but returned to the city in 1942 once the immediate threat was passed where it could better undertake its work. Usher Cunningham returned to the house briefly after the war but by 1948 it had been taken over by the Relief Society for Poles in London as the Polish House, a Polish community centre for exiles and a headquarters for organisations such as the Polish YMCA and Scottish-Polish Society.
Scotsman article, 29 January 1948, showing a picture of the dining room of 58 Dalkeith Road under the title “Polish Centre in Edinburgh”, with two columns below of description.The Polish House was transient and soon moved on as Poles in Edinburgh either emigrated or integrated, it relocated to Drummond Place where it joined the Polish Press Agency. In 1950 the Edinburgh Corporation looked to acquire the building as a remand school but it was instead opened as the Davidson Clinic, to treat young adults and children with “anxiety illnesses“. The Clinic took its name from the Davidson Church in Eyre Place, where the idea for it had been formed by the minister. It practised what we would now call psychotherapy and had been established in the city in 1941 as a charitable institution. Under its lead doctor, GP Dr Winifred Rushforth, it took a pioneering approach to dealing with nervous and anxiety conditions.
Dr Winifred Rushforth (1885–1983) by Victoria Crowe. © Victoria Crowe. Credit: Museums & Galleries EdinburghThe Davidson Clinic remained a charity and closely associated with the Church of Scotland for its existence. Never part of the NHS it relocated from Belleville in 1968 and was closed in 1973. Key members of this organisation, including Winifred Rushforth, would go on to find the similar Wellspring clinic. Belleville was now acquired again by the Usher family, this time by Thomas Usher & Sons, the brewing branch of the dynasty. Ushers successfully applied for a licence to turn it into a modern roadhouse type pub and restaurant. Despite local objections it opened as such in 1970 as the Commonwealth-games inspired Gold Medal Tavern. The Gold Medal found its way into the Alloa Brewery’s portfolio, who refurbished it in 1986 and renamed the restaurant to Waffles. With a trendy open plan dining area and kitchen, it offered “pizzas, pasta, hamburgers, steaks and chicken“. No mention was made of waffles, but traditional pub food could be had in the lounge bar.
Newspaper advert “We’ve pulled a fast one” on the refurbishment of the Gold Medal tavern. Edinburgh Evening News – 15 May 1986Roll forward the clock to 1994 and the pub was acquired by the Firkin brand of Allied Domecq who renamed it The Physician & Firkin, despite it having no obvious connection to medicine. When that chain folded in 2001 it was passed to Bass who branded it as one of their yellow-liveried, sticky-floored It’s a Scream student discount pubs with the new name of The Crags. Come 2011, the pub was re-branded and repositioned once again, becoming the more upmarket Salisbury Arms.
This has all been a very long winded way to say that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle died in 1930 and there was not a pub on the site of the Salisbury Arms until 1970! The original claim is demonstrable nonsense – he definitely never drank in, never mind frequented, this establishment. Furthermore, the association of the Bell family with the house ended in 1807 when it was sold to its first owner, some 30 years before the birth of Joseph Bell. So the chance that he or Conan Doyle have any further connection with it is slim to nil.
So why is any of this important? Am I just showing off about being right about something? Shouldn’t I be magnanimous and attribute this to an innocent journalistic error? Well, you’re probably reading this page because you have an interest in Edinburgh and local history, so I will try and explain why I think that it matters and why you too should be bothered.
Arthur Conan Doyle in 1914, photograph by Walter Benington. Via WikimediaThe first problem is that despite the best efforts of their owning companies to try and destroy all trust in them over the last 20 or so years, faith is still put by many in local newspapers as they trade on past reputations and a lack of alternatives. They and their websites are still held as being reliable places to find things out and they still command a wide local reach; people will read what they write and there’s a good chance they will accept it. Why shouldn’t they? The Evening News even has a strapline at the top of every page which says “News you can trust since 1873“, it invites you to believe it. So when it publishes historical facts without substantiation, they will inevitably become accepted as facts. The irony is not lost on me that a lot of what you will read on this very website has been arrived at by trawling through previous generations of these very local newspapers. I too have to trust that what was being printed in the pages of the Evening News or the Scotsman at the time was an accurate and factual record.
But this shouldn’t be a problem I hear you say, people have the sum of the world’s knowledge at their fingertips these days and can just check a search engine to verify a fact. So let’s do just that and perform a quick experiment by doing what many people do these days to adjudicate a point: let’s ask Google “which pub did Arthur Conan Doyle drink in?”.
Oh, so it was The Salisbury Arms. Mea culpa, if it’s on Google it must be true, right? But give the result a second glance, that’s not actually a search result. That’s an answer automatically generated by Google’s AI Overview and presented above and before the actual search results. It’s what some might call machine generated slop, an approximation of what looks like a plausible answer arrived at by a statistical analysis of a very large data set. It is the year 2025 and the problem of the Evening News presenting theory as fact is no longer confined to the reach of its own readership. Local news websites are now constantly crawled and trawled as the training material for the Large Language Models that are commonly referred to as AI. Local news is the factual foodstuff, chewed, digested, reconstituted and regurgitated by the LLM. And as the old saying goes, if you put garbage in you’ll get garbage out.
Give the above result a third glance and you see a little vague link symbol at the end of the word soup of that first paragraph. Click that link and it will suggest to you the source from which it came to its conclusions. So I did this and what should we see but two “references”, the oldest of which is only a day old and is the very same article which got me started! The second is a copy-and-paste effort of the first, barely hours old on the internet at this time.
And here is the big problem I’ve been trying to get at. We’ve just got a complete worked example of Google inventing itself a new fact about an important figure in Edinburgh local history, and people will believe it, because it is Google and that is were a huge number of people turn to for information, and because it is substantiated by links to local news websites, which many people still put trust in. That fact is now out of the bag and once it’s out, it is very hard to put it back in. Check in on the above search in a few months, weeks, or even days and you will undoubtedly see the fact has replicated itself across multiple other sources like a virus. And those sources will now in turn be consumed once again by Large Language Models, which will spit out the same result in future with ever more confidence. We are all of us going to have to get used to accepting a lot less of what is presented to us as fact and doing a lot more of our own verification if we want to find a reliable answer…
Ouroboros, the serpent consuming its own tail, a symbol for eternal cyclic renewalIf you have found this useful, informative or amusing, perhaps you would like to help contribute towards the running costs of this site – including keeping it ad-free and my book-buying budget to find further stories to bring you – by supporting me on ko-fi. Or please do just share this post on social media or amongst friends.
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The famous literary association that never was: the thread about the Salisbury Arms
Here’s an eye-catching headline one one of those sites that passes itself off as local news from today. “First Look at transformed Edinburgh boozer visited by Arthur Conan Doyle“.
Edinburgh Live headline, 25th June 2025. “First Look at transformed Edinburgh boozer visited by Arthur Conan Doyle”.The piece goes on, “Once a favourite watering hole of the iconic Sir Arthur Conan Doyle“. Stop the bus! Arthur Conan Doyle was a regular in the Salisbury Arms? That’s news to me! Now, I’ll readily admit that I don’t know everything about Edinburgh, but something here feels a bit off.
There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact.
The Adventure of the Copper Beeches, Arthur Conan DoyleBut let’s be fair, not everyone spends quite so much time poring over local history as I do, and not everyone will be irked enough by something that troubles them to look more into it. But I’m not everyone and I was sceptical and so in the best spirit of Sherlock Holmes I set out to do a little deduction of my own. To paraphrase the great detective, when it comes to Edinburgh history “it is my business to know what other people do not know!”
Sherlock Holmes statue in Edinburgh, erected opposite the birthplace of Conan Doyle. CC-by-SA 3.0 Kim Traynor via WikimediaThe first indicator that something isn’t quite right is that the website of the Salisbury Arms itself doesn’t trouble to mention its famous literary association. The game is afoot! Delving a bit deeper, a quick tap of the keys in a search engine traces the Conan Doyle claim back to an advertorial piece from the Scotsman in June 2011. In this it is stated – without reference – “Apparently Sherlock Holmes author Arthur Conan Doyle used to frequent the hostelry now known as The Salisbury Arms in Dalkeith Road.” That word apparently is key here and from it we should suspect that the author was well aware that their claim was without evidence. Wind the clock forward to January 2017 and we find in the sister publication, Evening News, a repetition and reinforcement of the claim: “The most intriguing connection the Salisbury Arms has is with the fictional private detective Sherlock Holmes” it gushes, before quickly contradicting itself; “Whether Conan Doyle was ever a visitor… is unclear” and then instantly trying to get itself out of jail with “but it is thought he dropped by on a few occasions“. Once again I think our author was very aware that there was nothing to back up the claims they were making. By this point I’m willing to stake a round of drinks on the fact that my initial cynicism is well founded.
“Historic Salisbury Arms to undergo major renovation work”, Evening News, January 14th 2017.I could stop there, but I like to be both firm and fair in my debunking and come to an argument armed with the facts, so I shan’t.
It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.
A Scandal in Bohemia, Arthur Conan DoyleSo let us take a proper look into the history of the Salisbury Arms, after all history is probably why you are reading this in the first place! Along the way I can attempt to keep my reputation intact by offering a well evidenced counter argument, I can demonstrate the sort of readily accessible sources that you a I can turn to for investigating a case such as this and and hopefully we can all learn something more of the history of the place in question and write it down for the benefit of others (particularly writers of local news!). Looking at the building in question itself, it doesn’t need an expert eye make a sure guess that it probably began life as a Georgian villa.
The Salisbury Arms, Edinburgh, 2015. © Paul Farmer, CC-by-SA 2.0 via Geograph.A quick search through the online Book of The Old Edinburgh Club – one of my frequent first ports of call for local history queries – brings us to Volume 24 and pages 152-197, “The Lands of Newington and Their Owners“, by W. Forbes Gray. In this piece we find that a house and plot here was seised (officially registered) to Francis Nalder, merchant, in 1812. Referring to a map of the area around this time – Kirkwood’s Town Plan of Edinburgh of 1817 is a reliable source, freely accessible from the National Library of Scotland – we see Mr. Nalder’s name appears as landowner here too.
Kirkwood’s town plan of Edinburgh, 1817. Showing “Nalder” on the site of the house which is now the Salisbury Arms. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandFrom Forbes Gray’s we learn that this plot was one of just many such others which were feued from the Newington Estate in the early 19th century to create a new suburb. Newington’s lands were an irregular rectangle defined by the Gibbet Loan (now Preston Street) to the north, East and West Mayfield to the south, Dalkeith Road to the east and the turnpike road south to Selkirk and Carlisle (now Minto Street) to the west. There was a large house, Newington House, in the southeastern quarter. This estate was an old one but had been split into six lots by the city back in the 16th century. Over subsequent centuries, five of the plots were acquired and combined by the Lauder of Fountainhall family, from where they passed to John Henderson of Leistoun. Henderson’s grandson bought the sixth and final plot in 1733, reuniting the estate and taking for himself the title Henderson of Newington.
1817 Kirkwood town plan of Edinburgh, highlighting the lands of Newington. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandAt this time the Newington House on the above map had not yet been built and there was instead an older mansion located in the northwest corner at the end of what is now West Newington Place. It is shown on the Ordnance Survey 1849 Town Plan as Old Newington House. After Henderson the lands were acquired in 1751 by a saddler, Patrick Crichton. The financial problems of his son Alexander in the 1780s saw loans taken out, secured against the estate, which were defaulted on. One of the major creditors came to an agreement in 1803 whereby Benjamin Bell of Hunthill, surgeon, bought Newington for £5,000 thus settling the debt.
Benjamin Bell by Sir Henry Raeburn (c. 1780-90). From “Raeburn to Redpath” booklet by Bourne Fine Art, Edinburgh, via Wikimedia.Bell, “the first Scottish scientific surgeon” and “father of the Edinburgh school of Surgery” built the new Newington House but died in 1806, before he had a chance to settle in and enjoy it. It so happens that he was the great grandfather of Joseph Bell, the surgeon and lecturer known as the inspiration from which Arthur Conan Doyle formed Sherlock Holmes. So finally we arrive at a kernel of a grain of truth in at least one aspect of our story. Bell’s eldest son, George, sold Newington House to Sir George Steuart of Grandtully in 1807 and Steuart bought up more of the land shortly thereafter to form gardens around the house, but also with a farsighted view that he could feu this land himself, and his own charter indeed allowed him to do so after a period of time had elapsed.
Newington House in the 1880s, with the family of Lord Provost Duncan McLaren (in top hat) assembled on the lawn. SC1224483 via Trove.ScotIn due course, his estate-within-an-estate would later be developed into the planned suburb of the Blacket Estate (where, ironically, Joseph Bell was an early resident, at number 44). Thank you to Hugh Mackay of the Blacket Association for pointing this out.
1817 Kirkwood Plan of Edinburgh centred on Newington House, showing land owners as Sir George Stewart (sic) of Grandtully, Bart. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandHaving sold the house, George Bell and his brothers began the process of feuing the rest of their land here into plots for fashionable new suburban villas. To distinguish theirs from Steuart’s holding, they gave his district an on-trend new name which also happened to be a pun on their own: Belleville. On the 1826 feuing plan on the NLS maps site, both names are given:
“Plan of the Lands of Newington and Belleville, 1826”. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandThis new name for the district stuck for a short while in the newspapers, but old habits can die hard and it soon reverted back to being just plain old Newington. But two houses kept the former name alive; Belleville Lodge on South Blacket Place (now Blacket Avenue) and Belleville at 58 Dalkeith Road – which is that house which would much later become the Salisbury Arms. The first record of that name being used in connection with the house that I can find is on the 1855 valuation roll over on Scotland’s People, with the owner and occupant being listed as William Donaldson, Grocer. By 1865 he has been replaced by Miss Mary Duncan as “William Donaldson’s Representative“. She is still the owner in 1875, but the occupant is one James M. Watters, Captain.
Belleville Lodge. A gate pier carries the name “Belleville Lodge” painted on it and also on a brass plaque, complete with a sign to the right saying “Belleville Lodge. Mansfield Care”.Come 1885 there is once again a new owner and occupier; William Nelson of Salisbury Green. This latter house you can see on the 1817 map above of the Newington Estate is directly to the east of Belleville, it’s the baronial pile opposite which now forms part of the Pollock Halls complex. Confusingly the same valuation rolls show William also owned and occupied Salisbury Green at this time, it’s not clear why he needed both! He was a wealthy publisher of the family firm Thomas Nelson & Sons, whose vast Parkside Works lay just across the way, and who is known for restoring St. Bernard’s Well at Stockbridge and St. Margaret’s Chapel in Edinburgh Castle.
Salisbury Green house, a 3-storey mansion in the Scottish Baronial Revival style.Ownership of Belleville never seemed to stay with one person for long. By 1895 the valuation rolls show it was Robert Inch, a well known and prosperous seed merchant who ran his business from the Timberbush in Leith. He died there in 1912, after which it was bought by its next door neighbour, Mrs Jane Binning Burn Murdoch of Arthur Lodge . Regular listeners might be familiar with the Burn Murdoch name, she was the wife of the artist and explorer WG Burn Murdoch who was so involved in helping Edinburgh Zoo acquire its first polar bears, at the same time as indulging in his passion for trophy hunting them. The house was let out and an advert at this time gives us a description of its accommodation and features:
Newspaper advert for the lease of “Belleville” house. “Entrance hall, cloak room, 3 public rooms, billiard room, 8 bedrooms, 2 dressing rooms, 2 bathrooms, laundry and ample servants’ accommodation” plus stables and garaging. The Scotsman – 19 March 1913Mrs Burn Murdoch’s maiden name was Usher, she was a daughter of Andrew Usher of that distilling dynasty which financed and lends its name to the Usher Hall. Belleville by 1930 was in the hands and occupation of her sister, Elizabeth Usher Cunningham and in turn by 1935 it was Elizabeth’s son, Howard, who was there. Howard Usher Cunningham served with the Royal Irish Regiment during World War 1 at Gallipoli, in the Balkans and in Palestine, being awarded the Military Cross in the last theatre. He was in the fertiliser business with the family firm of J. & J. Cunningham of Leith, which was one of the five constituent companies of the Scottish Agricultural Industries conglomerate which formed in 1928. He was appointed director in 1929, rising to Managing Director in 1947. During World War 2 he was the Ministry of Supply Fertiliser Controller for the country, which earned him a knighthood.
In 1942 the house of Belleville was turned over to the Edinburgh Home for Babies and School of Mothercraft, a charitable maternity home and training establishment for both midwives and young (often single) mothers. This organisation had lost its base on Colinton Road to the Civil Defence for the duration of the war and at first had been evacuated to the countryside, but returned to the city in 1942 once the immediate threat was passed where it could better undertake its work. Usher Cunningham returned to the house briefly after the war but by 1948 it had been taken over by the Relief Society for Poles in London as the Polish House, a Polish community centre for exiles and a headquarters for organisations such as the Polish YMCA and Scottish-Polish Society.
Scotsman article, 29 January 1948, showing a picture of the dining room of 58 Dalkeith Road under the title “Polish Centre in Edinburgh”, with two columns below of description.The Polish House was transient and soon moved on as Poles in Edinburgh either emigrated or integrated, it relocated to Drummond Place where it joined the Polish Press Agency. In 1950 the Edinburgh Corporation looked to acquire the building as a remand school but it was instead opened as the Davidson Clinic, to treat young adults and children with “anxiety illnesses“. The Clinic took its name from the Davidson Church in Eyre Place, where the idea for it had been formed by the minister. It practised what we would now call psychotherapy and had been established in the city in 1941 as a charitable institution. Under its lead doctor, GP Dr Winifred Rushforth, it took a pioneering approach to dealing with nervous and anxiety conditions.
Dr Winifred Rushforth (1885–1983) by Victoria Crowe. © Victoria Crowe. Credit: Museums & Galleries EdinburghThe Davidson Clinic remained a charity and closely associated with the Church of Scotland for its existence. Never part of the NHS it relocated from Belleville in 1968 and was closed in 1973. Key members of this organisation, including Winifred Rushforth, would go on to find the similar Wellspring clinic. Belleville was now acquired again by the Usher family, this time by Thomas Usher & Sons, the brewing branch of the dynasty. Ushers successfully applied for a licence to turn it into a modern roadhouse type pub and restaurant. Despite local objections it opened as such in 1970 as the Commonwealth-games inspired Gold Medal Tavern. The Gold Medal found its way into the Alloa Brewery’s portfolio, who refurbished it in 1986 and renamed the restaurant to Waffles. With a trendy open plan dining area and kitchen, it offered “pizzas, pasta, hamburgers, steaks and chicken“. No mention was made of waffles, but traditional pub food could be had in the lounge bar.
Newspaper advert “We’ve pulled a fast one” on the refurbishment of the Gold Medal tavern. Edinburgh Evening News – 15 May 1986Roll forward the clock to 1994 and the pub was acquired by the Firkin brand of Allied Domecq who renamed it The Physician & Firkin, despite it having no obvious connection to medicine. When that chain folded in 2001 it was passed to Bass who branded it as one of their yellow-liveried, sticky-floored It’s a Scream student discount pubs with the new name of The Crags. Come 2011, the pub was re-branded and repositioned once again, becoming the more upmarket Salisbury Arms.
This has all been a very long winded way to say that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle died in 1930 and there was not a pub on the site of the Salisbury Arms until 1970! The original claim is demonstrable nonsense – he definitely never drank in, never mind frequented, this establishment. Furthermore, the association of the Bell family with the house ended in 1807 when it was sold to its first owner, some 30 years before the birth of Joseph Bell. So the chance that he or Conan Doyle have any further connection with it is slim to nil.
So why is any of this important? Am I just showing off about being right about something? Shouldn’t I be magnanimous and attribute this to an innocent journalistic error? Well, you’re probably reading this page because you have an interest in Edinburgh and local history, so I will try and explain why I think that it matters and why you too should be bothered.
Arthur Conan Doyle in 1914, photograph by Walter Benington. Via WikimediaThe first problem is that despite the best efforts of their owning companies to try and destroy all trust in them over the last 20 or so years, faith is still put by many in local newspapers as they trade on past reputations and a lack of alternatives. They and their websites are still held as being reliable places to find things out and they still command a wide local reach; people will read what they write and there’s a good chance they will accept it. Why shouldn’t they? The Evening News even has a strapline at the top of every page which says “News you can trust since 1873“, it invites you to believe it. So when it publishes historical facts without substantiation, they will inevitably become accepted as facts. The irony is not lost on me that a lot of what you will read on this very website has been arrived at by trawling through previous generations of these very local newspapers. I too have to trust that what was being printed in the pages of the Evening News or the Scotsman at the time was an accurate and factual record.
But this shouldn’t be a problem I hear you say, people have the sum of the world’s knowledge at their fingertips these days and can just check a search engine to verify a fact. So let’s do just that and perform a quick experiment by doing what many people do these days to adjudicate a point: let’s ask Google “which pub did Arthur Conan Doyle drink in?”.
Oh, so it was The Salisbury Arms. Mea culpa, if it’s on Google it must be true, right? But give the result a second glance, that’s not actually a search result. That’s an answer automatically generated by Google’s AI Overview and presented above and before the actual search results. It’s what some might call machine generated slop, an approximation of what looks like a plausible answer arrived at by a statistical analysis of a very large data set. It is the year 2025 and the problem of the Evening News presenting theory as fact is no longer confined to the reach of its own readership. Local news websites are now constantly crawled and trawled as the training material for the Large Language Models that are commonly referred to as AI. Local news is the factual foodstuff, chewed, digested, reconstituted and regurgitated by the LLM. And as the old saying goes, if you put garbage in you’ll get garbage out.
Give the above result a third glance and you see a little vague link symbol at the end of the word soup of that first paragraph. Click that link and it will suggest to you the source from which it came to its conclusions. So I did this and what should we see but two “references”, the oldest of which is only a day old and is the very same article which got me started! The second is a copy-and-paste effort of the first, barely hours old on the internet at this time.
And here is the big problem I’ve been trying to get at. We’ve just got a complete worked example of Google inventing itself a new fact about an important figure in Edinburgh local history, and people will believe it, because it is Google and that is were a huge number of people turn to for information, and because it is substantiated by links to local news websites, which many people still put trust in. That fact is now out of the bag and once it’s out, it is very hard to put it back in. Check in on the above search in a few months, weeks, or even days and you will undoubtedly see the fact has replicated itself across multiple other sources like a virus. And those sources will now in turn be consumed once again by Large Language Models, which will spit out the same result in future with ever more confidence. We are all of us going to have to get used to accepting a lot less of what is presented to us as fact and doing a lot more of our own verification if we want to find a reliable answer…
Ouroboros, the serpent consuming its own tail, a symbol for eternal cyclic renewalIf you have found this useful, informative or amusing, perhaps you would like to help contribute towards the running costs of this site – including keeping it ad-free and my book-buying budget to find further stories to bring you – by supporting me on ko-fi. Or please do just share this post on social media or amongst friends.
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The thread about the Salisbury Arms and the famous literary association that never was
Here’s an eye-catching headline one one of those sites that passes itself off as local news from today. “First Look at transformed Edinburgh boozer visited by Arthur Conan Doyle“.
Edinburgh Live headline, 25th June 2025. “First Look at transformed Edinburgh boozer visited by Arthur Conan Doyle”.The piece goes on, “Once a favourite watering hole of the iconic Sir Arthur Conan Doyle“. Stop the bus! Arthur Conan Doyle was a regular in the Salisbury Arms? That’s news to me! Now, I’ll readily admit that I don’t know everything about Edinburgh, but something here feels a bit off.
There is nothing more deceptive than an obvious fact.
The Adventure of the Copper Beeches, Arthur Conan Doyle
But let’s be fair, not everyone spends quite so much time poring over local history as I do, and not everyone will be irked enough by something that troubles them to look more into it. But I’m not everyone and I was sceptical and so in the best spirit of Sherlock Holmes I set out to do a little deduction of my own. To paraphrase the great detective, when it comes to Edinburgh history “it is my business to know what other people do not know!”
Sherlock Holmes statue in Edinburgh, erected opposite the birthplace of Conan Doyle. CC-by-SA 3.0 Kim Traynor via WikimediaThe first indicator that something isn’t quite right is that the website of the Salisbury Arms itself doesn’t trouble to mention its famous literary association. The game is afoot! Delving a bit deeper, a quick tap of the keys in a search engine traces the Conan Doyle claim back to an advertorial piece from the Scotsman in June 2011. In this it is stated – without reference – “Apparently Sherlock Holmes author Arthur Conan Doyle used to frequent the hostelry now known as The Salisbury Arms in Dalkeith Road.” That word apparently is key here and from it we should suspect that the author was well aware that their claim was without evidence. Wind the clock forward to January 2017 and we find in the sister publication, Evening News, a repetition and reinforcement of the claim: “The most intriguing connection the Salisbury Arms has is with the fictional private detective Sherlock Holmes” it gushes, before quickly contradicting itself; “Whether Conan Doyle was ever a visitor… is unclear” and then instantly trying to get itself out of jail with “but it is thought he dropped by on a few occasions“. Once again I think our author was very aware that there was nothing to back up the claims they were making. By this point I’m willing to stake a round of drinks on the fact that my initial cynicism is well founded.
“Historic Salisbury Arms to undergo major renovation work”, Evening News, January 14th 2017.I could stop there, but I like to be both firm and fair in my debunking and come to an argument armed with the facts, so I shan’t.
It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.
A Scandal in Bohemia, Arthur Conan Doyle
So let us take a proper look into the history of the Salisbury Arms, after all history is probably why you are reading this in the first place! Along the way I can attempt to keep my reputation intact by offering a well evidenced counter argument, I can demonstrate the sort of readily accessible sources that you a I can turn to for investigating a case such as this and and hopefully we can all learn something more of the history of the place in question and write it down for the benefit of others (particularly writers of local news!). Looking at the building in question itself, it doesn’t need an expert eye make a sure guess that it probably began life as a Georgian villa.
The Salisbury Arms, Edinburgh, 2015. © Paul Farmer, CC-by-SA 2.0 via Geograph.A quick search through the online Book of The Old Edinburgh Club – one of my frequent first ports of call for local history queries – brings us to Volume 24 and pages 152-197, “The Lands of Newington and Their Owners“, by W. Forbes Gray. In this piece we find that a house and plot here was seised (officially registered) to Francis Nalder, merchant, in 1812. Referring to a map of the area around this time – Kirkwood’s Town Plan of Edinburgh of 1817 is a reliable source, freely accessible from the National Library of Scotland – we see Mr. Nalder’s name appears as landowner here too.
Kirkwood’s town plan of Edinburgh, 1817. Showing “Nalder” on the site of the house which is now the Salisbury Arms. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandFrom Forbes Gray’s we learn that this plot was one of just many such others which were feued from the Newington Estate in the early 19th century to create a new suburb. Newington’s lands were an irregular rectangle defined by the Gibbet Loan (now Preston Street) to the north, East and West Mayfield to the south, Dalkeith Road to the east and the turnpike road south to Selkirk and Carlisle (now Minto Street) to the west. There was a large house, Newington House, in the southeastern quarter. This estate was an old one but had been split into six lots by the city back in the 16th century. Over subsequent centuries, five of the plots were acquired and combined by the Lauder of Fountainhall family, from where they passed to John Henderson of Leistoun. Henderson’s grandson bought the sixth and final plot in 1733, reuniting the estate and taking for himself the title Henderson of Newington.
1817 Kirkwood town plan of Edinburgh, highlighting the lands of Newington. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandAt this time the Newington House on the above map had not yet been built and there was instead an older mansion located in the northwest corner at the end of what is now West Newington Place. It is shown on the Ordnance Survey 1849 Town Plan as Old Newington House. After Henderson the lands were acquired in 1751 by a saddler, Patrick Crichton. The financial problems of his son Alexander in the 1780s saw loans taken out, secured against the estate, which were defaulted on. One of the major creditors came to an agreement in 1803 whereby Benjamin Bell of Hunthill, surgeon, bought Newington for £5,000 thus settling the debt.
Benjamin Bell by Sir Henry Raeburn (c. 1780-90). From “Raeburn to Redpath” booklet by Bourne Fine Art, Edinburgh, via Wikimedia.Bell, “the first Scottish scientific surgeon” and “father of the Edinburgh school of Surgery” built the new Newington House but died in 1806, before he had a chance to settle in and enjoy it. It so happens that he was the great grandfather of Joseph Bell, the surgeon and lecturer known as the inspiration from which Arthur Conan Doyle formed Sherlock Holmes. So finally we arrive at a kernel of a grain of truth in at least one aspect of our story. Bell’s eldest son, George, sold Newington House to Sir George Steuart of Grandtully in 1807 and Steuart bought up more of the land shortly thereafter to form gardens around the house, but also with a farsighted view that he could feu this land himself, and his own charter indeed allowed him to do so after a period of time had elapsed. In due course, his estate-within-an-estate would later be developed into the planned suburb of the Blacket Estate.
1817 Kirkwood Plan of Edinburgh centred on Newington House, showing land owners as Sir George Stewart (sic) of Grandtully, Bart. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandHaving sold the house, George Bell and his brothers began the process of feuing the rest of their land here into plots for fashionable new suburban villas. To distinguish theirs from Steuart’s holding, they gave his district an on-trend new name which also happened to be a pun on their own: Belleville. On the 1826 feuing plan on the NLS maps site, both names are given:
“Plan of the Lands of Newington and Belleville, 1826”. Reproduced with the permission of the National Library of ScotlandThis new name for the district stuck for a short while in the newspapers, but old habits can die hard and it soon reverted back to being just plain old Newington. But two houses kept the former name alive; Belleville Lodge on South Blacket Place (now Blacket Avenue) and Belleville at 58 Dalkeith Road – which is that house which would much later become the Salisbury Arms. The first record of that name being used in connection with the house that I can find is on the 1855 valuation roll over on Scotland’s People, with the owner and occupant being listed as William Donaldson, Grocer. By 1865 he has been replaced by Miss Mary Duncan as “William Donaldson’s Representative“. She is still the owner in 1875, but the occupant is one James M. Watters, Captain.
Belleville Lodge. A gate pier carries the name “Belleville Lodge” painted on it and also on a brass plaque, complete with a sign to the right saying “Belleville Lodge. Mansfield Care”.Come 1885 there is once again a new owner and occupier; William Nelson of Salisbury Green. This latter house you can see on the 1817 map above of the Newington Estate is directly to the east of Belleville, it’s the baronial pile opposite which now forms part of the Pollock Halls complex. Confusingly the same valuation rolls show William also owned and occupied Salisbury Green at this time, it’s not clear why he needed both! He was a wealthy publisher of the family firm Thomas Nelson & Sons, whose vast Parkside Works lay just across the way, and who is known for restoring St. Bernard’s Well at Stockbridge and St. Margaret’s Chapel in Edinburgh Castle.
Salisbury Green house, a 3-storey mansion in the Scottish Baronial Revival style.Ownership of Belleville never seemed to stay with one person for long. By 1895 the valuation rolls show it was Robert Inch, a well known and prosperous seed merchant who ran his business from the Timberbush in Leith. He died there in 1912, after which it was bought by its next door neighbour, Mrs Jane Binning Burn Murdoch of Arthur Lodge . Regular listeners might be familiar with the Burn Murdoch name, she was the wife of the artist and explorer WG Burn Murdoch who was so involved in helping Edinburgh Zoo acquire its first polar bears, at the same time as indulging in his passion for trophy hunting them. The house was let out and an advert at this time gives us a description of its accommodation and features:
Newspaper advert for the lease of “Belleville” house. “Entrance hall, cloak room, 3 public rooms, billiard room, 8 bedrooms, 2 dressing rooms, 2 bathrooms, laundry and ample servants’ accommodation” plus stables and garaging. The Scotsman – 19 March 1913Mrs Burn Murdoch’s maiden name was Usher, she was a daughter of Andrew Usher of that distilling dynasty which financed and lends its name to the Usher Hall. Belleville by 1930 was in the hands and occupation of her sister, Elizabeth Usher Cunningham and in turn by 1935 it was Elizabeth’s son, Howard, who was there. Howard Usher Cunningham served with the Royal Irish Regiment during World War 1 at Gallipoli, in the Balkans and in Palestine, being awarded the Military Cross in the last theatre. He was in the fertiliser business with the family firm of J. & J. Cunningham of Leith, which was one of the five constituent companies of the Scottish Agricultural Industries conglomerate which formed in 1928. He was appointed director in 1929, rising to Managing Director in 1947. During World War 2 he was the Ministry of Supply Fertiliser Controller for the country, which earned him a knighthood.
In 1942 the house of Belleville was turned over to the Edinburgh Home for Babies and School of Mothercraft, a charitable maternity home and training establishment for both midwives and young (often single) mothers. This organisation had lost its base on Colinton Road to the Civil Defence for the duration of the war and at first had been evacuated to the countryside, but returned to the city in 1942 once the immediate threat was passed where it could better undertake its work. Usher Cunningham returned to the house briefly after the war but by 1948 it had been taken over by the Relief Society for Poles in London as the Polish House, a Polish community centre for exiles and a headquarters for organisations such as the Polish YMCA and Scottish-Polish Society.
Scotsman article, 29 January 1948, showing a picture of the dining room of 58 Dalkeith Road under the title “Polish Centre in Edinburgh”, with two columns below of description.The Polish House was transient and soon moved on as Poles in Edinburgh either emigrated or integrated, it relocated to Drummond Place where it joined the Polish Press Agency. In 1950 the Edinburgh Corporation looked to acquire the building as a remand school but it was instead opened as the Davidson Clinic, to treat young adults and children with “anxiety illnesses“. The Clinic took its name from the Davidson Church in Eyre Place, where the idea for it had been formed by the minister. It practised what we would now call psychotherapy and had been established in the city in 1941 as a charitable institution. Under its lead doctor, GP Dr Winifred Rushforth, it took a pioneering approach to dealing with nervous and anxiety conditions.
Dr Winifred Rushforth (1885–1983) by Victoria Crowe. © Victoria Crowe. Credit: Museums & Galleries EdinburghThe Davidson Clinic remained a charity and closely associated with the Church of Scotland for its existence. Never part of the NHS it relocated from Belleville in 1968 and was closed in 1973. Key members of this organisation, including Winifred Rushforth, would go on to find the similar Wellspring clinic. Belleville was now acquired again by the Usher family, this time by Thomas Usher & Sons, the brewing branch of the dynasty. Ushers successfully applied for a licence to turn it into a modern roadhouse type pub and restaurant. Despite local objections it opened as such in 1970 as the Commonwealth-games inspired Gold Medal Tavern. The Gold Medal found its way into the Alloa Brewery’s portfolio, who refurbished it in 1986 and renamed the restaurant to Waffles. With a trendy open plan dining area and kitchen, it offered “pizzas, pasta, hamburgers, steaks and chicken“. No mention was made of waffles, but traditional pub food could be had in the lounge bar.
Newspaper advert “We’ve pulled a fast one” on the refurbishment of the Gold Medal tavern. Edinburgh Evening News – 15 May 1986Roll forward the clock to 1994 and the pub was acquired by the Firkin brand of Allied Domecq who renamed it The Physician & Firkin, despite it having no obvious connection to medicine. When that chain folded in 2001 it was passed to Bass who branded it as one of their yellow-liveried, sticky-floored It’s a Scream student discount pubs with the new name of The Crags. Come 2011, the pub was re-branded and repositioned once again, becoming the more upmarket Salisbury Arms.
This has all been a very long winded way to say that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle died in 1930 and there was not a pub on the site of the Salisbury Arms until 1970! The original claim is demonstrable nonsense – he definitely never drank in, never mind frequented, this establishment. Furthermore, the association of the Bell family with the house ended in 1807 when it was sold to its first owner, some 30 years before the birth of Joseph Bell. So the chance that he or Conan Doyle have any further connection with it is slim to nil.
So why is any of this important? Am I just showing off about being right about something? Shouldn’t I be magnanimous and attribute this to an innocent journalistic error? Well, you’re probably reading this page because you have an interest in Edinburgh and local history, so I will try and explain why I think that it matters and why you too should be bothered.
Arthur Conan Doyle in 1914, photograph by Walter Benington. Via WikimediaThe first problem is that despite the best efforts of their owning companies to try and destroy all trust in them over the last 20 or so years, faith is still put by many in local newspapers as they trade on past reputations and a lack of alternatives. They and their websites are still held as being reliable places to find things out and they still command a wide local reach; people will read what they write and there’s a good chance they will accept it. Why shouldn’t they? The Evening News even has a strapline at the top of every page which says “News you can trust since 1873“, it invites you to believe it. So when it publishes historical facts without substantiation, they will inevitably become accepted as facts. The irony is not lost on me that a lot of what you will read on this very website has been arrived at by trawling through previous generations of these very local newspapers. I too have to trust that what was being printed in the pages of the Evening News or the Scotsman at the time was an accurate and factual record.
But this shouldn’t be a problem I hear you say, people have the sum of the world’s knowledge at their fingertips these days and can just check a search engine to verify a fact. So let’s do just that and perform a quick experiment by doing what many people do these days to adjudicate a point: let’s ask Google “which pub did Arthur Conan Doyle drink in?”.
Oh, so it was The Salisbury Arms. Mea culpa, if it’s on Google it must be true, right? But give the result a second glance, that’s not actually a search result. That’s an answer automatically generated by Google’s AI Overview and presented above and before the actual search results. It’s what some might call machine generated slop, an approximation of what looks like a plausible answer arrived at by a statistical analysis of a very large data set. It is the year 2025 and the problem of the Evening News presenting theory as fact is no longer confined to the reach of its own readership. Local news websites are now constantly crawled and trawled as the training material for the Large Language Models that are commonly referred to as AI. Local news is the factual foodstuff, chewed, digested, reconstituted and regurgitated by the LLM. And as the old saying goes, if you put garbage in you’ll get garbage out.
Give the above result a third glance and you see a little vague link symbol at the end of the word soup of that first paragraph. Click that link and it will suggest to you the source from which it came to its conclusions. So I did this and what should we see but two “references”, the oldest of which is only a day old and is the very same article which got me started! The second is a copy-and-paste effort of the first, barely hours old on the internet at this time.
And here is the big problem I’ve been trying to get at. We’ve just got a complete worked example of Google inventing itself a new fact about an important figure in Edinburgh local history, and people will believe it, because it is Google and that is were a huge number of people turn to for information, and because it is substantiated by links to local news websites, which many people still put trust in. That fact is now out of the bag and once it’s out, it is very hard to put it back in. Check in on the above search in a few months, weeks, or even days and you will undoubtedly see the fact has replicated itself across multiple other sources like a virus. And those sources will now in turn be consumed once again by Large Language Models, which will spit out the same result in future with ever more confidence. We’re all going to have to get used to accepting a lot less of what is presented to us fact and doing a lot more of our own verification if we want to find out the actual answer…
Ouroboros, the serpent consuming its own tail, a symbol for eternal cyclic renewalIf you have found this useful, informative or amusing, perhaps you would like to help contribute towards the running costs of this site – including keeping it ad-free and my book-buying budget to find further stories to bring you – by supporting me on ko-fi. Or please do just share this post on social media or amongst friends.
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#ConanDoyle #House #Newington #pub #pubs #Southside #Usher #Written2025
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ok here we go
#Scripts.com Bee-Movie By-Jerry-Seinfeld NARRATOR: (Black-screen-with-text;-The-sound-of-buzzing-bees-can-be-heard) According-to-all-known-laws of-aviation #: there-is-no-way-a-bee should-be-able-to-fly. -: Its-wings-are-too-small-to-get its-fat-little-body-off-the-ground. -: The-bee #of-course #flies-anyway -: because-bees-don't-care what-humans-think-is-impossible. BARRY-BENSON: (Barry-is-picking-out-a-shirt) Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. -: Ooh #black-and-yellow! Let's-shake-it-up-a-little. JANET-BENSON: Barry!-Breakfast-is-ready! BARRY: Coming! -: Hang-on-a-second. (Barry-uses-his-antenna-like-a-phone) -: Hello? ADAM-FLAYMAN: (Through-phone) --Barry? BARRY: --Adam? ADAM: --Can-you-believe-this-is-happening? BARRY: --I-can't.-I'll-pick-you-up. (Barry-flies-down-the-stairs) -: MARTIN-BENSON: Looking-sharp. JANET: Use-the-stairs.-Your-father paid-good-money-for-those. BARRY: Sorry.-I'm-excited. MARTIN: Here's-the-graduate. We're-very-proud-of-you #son. -: A-perfect-report-card #all-B's. JANET: Very-proud. (Rubs-Barry's-hair) BARRY= Ma!-I-got-a-thing-going-here. JANET: --You-got-lint-on-your-fuzz. BARRY: --Ow!-That's-me! JANET: --Wave-to-us!-We'll-be-in-row-118 #000. --Bye! (Barry-flies-out-the-door) JANET: Barry #I-told-you #stop-flying-in-the-house! (Barry-drives-through-the-hive #and-is-waved-at-by-Adam-who-is-reading-a newspaper) BARRY== --Hey #Adam. ADAM: --Hey #Barry. (Adam-gets-in-Barry's-car) -: --Is-that-fuzz-gel? BARRY: --A-little.-Special-day #graduation. ADAM: Never-thought-I'd-make-it. (Barry-pulls-away-from-the-house-and-continues-driving) BARRY: Three-days-grade-school #three-days-high-school... ADAM: Those-were-awkward. BARRY: Three-days-college.-I'm-glad-I-took a-day-and-hitchhiked-around-the-hive. ADAM== You-did-come-back-different. (Barry-and-Adam-pass-by-Artie #who-is-jogging) ARTIE: --Hi #Barry! BARRY: --Artie #growing-a-mustache?-Looks-good. ADAM: --Hear-about-Frankie? BARRY: --Yeah. ADAM== --You-going-to-the-funeral? BARRY: --No #I'm-not-going-to-his-funeral. -: Everybody-knows #sting-someone #you-die. -: Don't-waste-it-on-a-squirrel. Such-a-hothead. ADAM: I-guess-he-could-have just-gotten-out-of-the-way. (The-car-does-a-barrel-roll-on-the-loop-shaped-bridge-and-lands-on-the highway) -: I-love-this-incorporating an-amusement-park-into-our-regular-day. BARRY: I-guess-that's-why-they-say-we-don't-need-vacations. (Barry-parallel-parks-the-car-and-together-they-fly-over-the-graduating students) Boy #quite-a-bit-of-pomp... under-the-circumstances. (Barry-and-Adam-sit-down-and-put-on-their-hats) -: --Well #Adam #today-we-are-men. ADAM: --We-are! BARRY= --Bee-men. =ADAM= --Amen! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry-and-Adam-both-have-a-happy-spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students #faculty #distinguished-bees #: please-welcome-Dean-Buzzwell. DEAN-BUZZWELL: Welcome #New-Hive-Oity graduating-class-of... -: ...9: -: That-concludes-our-ceremonies. -: And-begins-your-career at-Honex-Industries! ADAM: Will-we-pick-our-job-today? (Adam-and-Barry-get-into-a-tour-bus) BARRY= I-heard-it's-just-orientation. (Tour-buses-rise-out-of-the-ground-and-the-students-are-automatically loaded-into-the-buses) TOUR-GUIDE: Heads-up!-Here-we-go. ANNOUNCER: Keep-your-hands-and-antennas inside-the-tram-at-all-times. BARRY: --Wonder-what-it'll-be-like? ADAM: --A-little-scary. TOUR-GUIDE== Welcome-to-Honex #a-division-of-Honesco -: and-a-part-of-the-Hexagon-Group. Barry: This-is-it! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The-bus-drives-down-a-road-an-on-either-side-are-the-Bee's-massive complicated-Honey-making-machines) TOUR-GUIDE: We-know-that-you #as-a-bee #have-worked-your-whole-life -: to-get-to-the-point-where-you can-work-for-your-whole-life. -: Honey-begins-when-our-valiant-Pollen Jocks-bring-the-nectar-to-the-hive. -: Our-top-secret-formula -: is-automatically-color-corrected #scent-adjusted-and-bubble-contoured -: into-this-soothing-sweet-syrup -: with-its-distinctive golden-glow-you-know-as... EVERYONE-ON-BUS: Honey! (The-guide-has-been-collecting-honey-into-a-bottle-and-she-throws-it-into the-crowd-on-the-bus-and-it-is-caught-by-a-girl-in-the-back) ADAM: --That-girl-was-hot. BARRY: --She's-my-cousin! ADAM== --She-is? BARRY: --Yes #we're-all-cousins. ADAM: --Right.-You're-right. TOUR-GUIDE: --At-Honex #we-constantly-strive -: to-improve-every-aspect of-bee-existence. -: These-bees-are-stress-testing a-new-helmet-technology. (The-bus-passes-by-a-Bee-wearing-a-helmet-who-is-being-smashed-into-the ground-with-fly-swatters #newspapers-and-boots.-He-lifts-a-thumbs-up-but you-can-hear-him-groan) -: ADAM== --What-do-you-think-he-makes? BARRY: --Not-enough. TOUR-GUIDE: Here-we-have-our-latest-advancement #the-Krelman. (They-pass-by-a-turning-wheel-with-Bees-standing-on-pegs #who-are-each wearing-a-finger-shaped-hat) Barry: --Wow #What-does-that-do? TOUR-GUIDE: --Catches-that-little-strand-of-honey -: that-hangs-after-you-pour-it. Saves-us-millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can-anyone-work-on-the-Krelman? TOUR-GUIDE: Of-course.-Most-bee-jobs-are small-ones. But-bees-know-that-every-small-job #if-it's-done-well #means-a-lot. -: But-choose-carefully -: because-you'll-stay-in-the-job you-pick-for-the-rest-of-your-life. (Everyone-claps-except-for-Barry) BARRY: The-same-job-the-rest-of-your-life? I-didn't-know-that. ADAM: What's-the-difference? TOUR-GUIDE: You'll-be-happy-to-know-that-bees #as-a-species #haven't-had-one-day-off -: in-27-million-years. BARRY: (Upset) So-you'll-just-work-us-to-death? -: We'll-sure-try. (Everyone-on-the-bus-laughs-except-Barry.-Barry-and-Adam-are-walking-back home-together) ADAM: Wow!-That-blew-my-mind! BARRY: 'What's-the-difference?' How-can-you-say-that? -: One-job-forever? That's-an-insane-choice-to-have-to-make. ADAM: I'm-relieved.-Now-we-only-have to-make-one-decision-in-life. BARRY: But #Adam #how-could-they never-have-told-us-that? ADAM: Why-would-you-question-anything? We're-bees. -: We're-the-most-perfectly functioning-society-on-Earth. BARRY: You-ever-think-maybe-things work-a-little-too-well-here? ADAM: Like-what?-Give-me-one-example. (Barry-and-Adam-stop-walking-and-it-is-revealed-to-the-audience-that hundreds-of-cars-are-speeding-by-and-narrowly-missing-them-in-perfect unison) BARRY: I-don't-know.-But-you-know what-I'm-talking-about. ANNOUNCER: Please-clear-the-gate. Royal-Nectar-Force-on-approach. BARRY: Wait-a-second.-Check-it-out. (The-Pollen-jocks-fly-in #circle-around-and-landing-in-line) -: --Hey #those-are-Pollen-Jocks! ADAM: --Wow. -: I've-never-seen-them-this-close. BARRY: They-know-what-it's-like outside-the-hive. ADAM: Yeah #but-some-don't-come-back. GIRL-BEES: --Hey #Jocks! --Hi #Jocks! (The-Pollen-Jocks-hook-up-their-backpacks-to-machines-that-pump-the-nectar to-trucks #which-drive-away) LOU-LO-DUVA: You-guys-did-great! -: You're-monsters! You're-sky-freaks! I-love-it! (Punching-the-Pollen-Jocks-in-joy) I-love-it! ADAM: --I-wonder-where-they-were. BARRY: --I-don't-know. -: Their-day's-not-planned. -: Outside-the-hive #flying-who-knows where #doing-who-knows-what. -: You-can't-just-decide-to-be-a-Pollen Jock.-You-have-to-be-bred-for-that. ADAM== Right. (Barry-and-Adam-are-covered-in-some-pollen-that-floated-off-of-the-Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look-at-that.-That's-more-pollen than-you-and-I-will-see-in-a-lifetime. ADAM: It's-just-a-status-symbol. Bees-make-too-much-of-it. BARRY: Perhaps.-Unless-you're-wearing-it and-the-ladies-see-you-wearing-it. (Barry-waves-at-2-girls-standing-a-little-away-from-them) ADAM== Those-ladies? Aren't-they-our-cousins-too? BARRY: Distant.-Distant. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Look-at-these-two. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Couple-of-Hive-Harrys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --Let's-have-fun-with-them. GIRL-BEE-#1: It-must-be-dangerous being-a-Pollen-Jock. BARRY: Yeah.-Once-a-bear-pinned-me against-a-mushroom! -: He-had-a-paw-on-my-throat #and-with-the-other #he-was-slapping-me! (Slaps-Adam-with-his-hand-to-represent-his-scenario) GIRL-BEE-#2: --Oh #my! BARRY: --I-never-thought-I'd-knock-him-out. GIRL-BEE-#1: (Looking-at-Adam) What-were-you-doing-during-this? ADAM: Obviously-I-was-trying-to-alert-the-authorities. BARRY: I-can-autograph-that. (The-pollen-jocks-walk-up-to-Barry-and-Adam #they-pretend-that-Barry-and Adam-really-are-pollen-jocks.) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: A-little-gusty-out-there-today #wasn't-it #comrades? BARRY: Yeah.-Gusty. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-hitting-a-sunflower-patch six-miles-from-here-tomorrow. BARRY: --Six-miles #huh? ADAM: --Barry! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: A-puddle-jump-for-us #but-maybe-you're-not-up-for-it. BARRY: --Maybe-I-am. ADAM: --You-are-not! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-going-0900-at-J-Gate. -: What-do-you-think #buzzy-boy? Are-you-bee-enough? BARRY: I-might-be.-It-all-depends on-what-0900-means. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-looking-out-on-the-hive-city-from-his-balcony-at night) MARTIN: Hey #Honex! BARRY: Dad #you-surprised-me. MARTIN: You-decide-what-you're-interested-in? BARRY: --Well #there's-a-lot-of-choices. --But-you-only-get-one. -: Do-you-ever-get-bored doing-the-same-job-every-day? MARTIN: Son #let-me-tell-you-about-stirring. -: You-grab-that-stick #and-you-just move-it-around #and-you-stir-it-around. -: You-get-yourself-into-a-rhythm. It's-a-beautiful-thing. BARRY: You-know #Dad #the-more-I-think-about-it #: maybe-the-honey-field just-isn't-right-for-me. MARTIN: You-were-thinking-of-what #making-balloon-animals? -: That's-a-bad-job for-a-guy-with-a-stinger. -: Janet #your-son's-not-sure he-wants-to-go-into-honey! JANET: --Barry #you-are-so-funny-sometimes. BARRY: --I'm-not-trying-to-be-funny. MARTIN: You're-not-funny!-You're-going into-honey.-Our-son #the-stirrer! JANET: --You're-gonna-be-a-stirrer? BARRY: --No-one's-listening-to-me! MARTIN: Wait-till-you-see-the-sticks-I-have. BARRY: I-could-say-anything-right-now. I'm-gonna-get-an-ant-tattoo! (Barry's-parents-don't-listen-to-him-and-continue-to-ramble-on) MARTIN: Let's-open-some-honey-and-celebrate! BARRY: Maybe-I'll-pierce-my-thorax. Shave-my-antennae. -: Shack-up-with-a-grasshopper.-Get a-gold-tooth-and-call-everybody-'dawg'! JANET: I'm-so-proud. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-and-Adam-waiting-in-line-to-get-a-job) ADAM: --We're-starting-work-today! BARRY: --Today's-the-day. ADAM: Come-on!-All-the-good-jobs will-be-gone. BARRY: Yeah #right. JOB-LISTER: Pollen-counting #stunt-bee #pouring #stirrer #front-desk #hair-removal... BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Is-it-still-available? JOB-LISTER: --Hang-on.-Two-left! -: One-of-them's-yours!-Congratulations! Step-to-the-side. ADAM: --What'd-you-get? BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Picking-crud-out.-Stellar! (He-walks-away) ADAM: Wow! JOB-LISTER: Couple-of-newbies? ADAM: Yes #sir!-Our-first-day!-We-are-ready! JOB-LISTER: Make-your-choice. (Adam-and-Barry-look-up-at-the-job-board.-There-are-hundreds-of-constantly changing-panels-that-contain-available-or-unavailable-jobs.-It-looks-very confusing) ADAM: --You-want-to-go-first? BARRY: --No #you-go. ADAM: Oh #my.-What's-available? JOB-LISTER: Restroom-attendant's-open #not-for-the-reason-you-think. ADAM: --Any-chance-of-getting-the-Krelman? JOB-LISTER: --Sure #you're-on. (Puts-the-Krelman-finger-hat-on-Adam's-head) (Suddenly-the-sign-for-Krelman-closes-out) -: I'm-sorry #the-Krelman-just-closed-out. (Takes-Adam's-hat-off) Wax-monkey's-always-open. ADAM: The-Krelman-opened-up-again. -: What-happened? JOB-LISTER: A-bee-died.-Makes-an-opening.-See? He's-dead.-Another-dead-one. -: Deady.-Deadified.-Two-more-dead. -: Dead-from-the-neck-up. Dead-from-the-neck-down.-That's-life! ADAM: Oh #this-is-so-hard! (Barry-remembers-what-the-Pollen-Jock-offered-him-and-he-flies-off) Heating #cooling #stunt-bee #pourer #stirrer #: humming #inspector-number-seven #lint-coordinator #stripe-supervisor #: mite-wrangler.-Barry #what do-you-think-I-should...-Barry? (Adam-turns-around-and-sees-Barry-flying-away) -: Barry! POLLEN-JOCK: All-right #we've-got-the-sunflower-patch in-quadrant-nine... ADAM: (Through-phone) What-happened-to-you? Where-are-you? BARRY: --I'm-going-out. ADAM: --Out?-Out-where? BARRY: --Out-there. ADAM: --Oh #no! BARRY: I-have-to #before-I-go to-work-for-the-rest-of-my-life. ADAM: You're-gonna-die!-You're-crazy! (Barry-hangs-up) Hello? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Another-call-coming-in. -: If-anyone's-feeling-brave #there's-a-Korean-deli-on-83rd -: that-gets-their-roses-today. BARRY: Hey #guys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1-== --Look-at-that. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Isn't-that-the-kid-we-saw-yesterday? LOU-LO-DUVA: Hold-it #son #flight-deck's-restricted. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: It's-OK #Lou.-We're-gonna-take-him-up. (Puts-hand-on-Barry's-shoulder) LOU-LO-DUVA: (To-Barry)-Really?-Feeling-lucky #are-you? BEE-WITH-CLIPBOARD: (To-Barry)-Sign-here #here.-Just-initial-that. -: --Thank-you. LOU-LO-DUVA: --OK. -: You-got-a-rain-advisory-today #: and-as-you-all-know #bees-cannot-fly-in-rain. -: So-be-careful.-As-always #watch-your-brooms #: hockey-sticks #dogs #birds #bears-and-bats. -: Also #I-got-a-couple-of-reports of-root-beer-being-poured-on-us. -: Murphy's-in-a-home-because-of-it #babbling-like-a-cicada! BARRY: --That's-awful. LOU-LO-DUVA: (Still-talking-through-megaphone) --And-a-reminder-for-you-rookies #: bee-law-number-one #absolutely-no-talking-to-humans! -: All-right #launch-positions! POLLEN-JOCKS: (The-Pollen-Jocks-run-into-formation) -: Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz! LOU-LU-DUVA: Black-and-yellow! POLLEN-JOCKS: Hello! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (To-Barry)You-ready-for-this #hot-shot? BARRY: Yeah.-Yeah #bring-it-on. POLLEN-JOCK's: Wind #check. -: --Antennae #check. --Nectar-pack #check. -: --Wings #check. --Stinger #check. BARRY: Scared-out-of-my-shorts #check. LOU-LO-DUVA: OK #ladies #: let's-move-it-out! -: Pound-those-petunias #you-striped-stem-suckers! -: All-of-you #drain-those-flowers! (The-pollen-jocks-fly-out-of-the-hive) BARRY: Wow!-I'm-out! -: I-can't-believe-I'm-out! -: So-blue. -: I-feel-so-fast-and-free! -: Box-kite! (Barry-flies-through-the-kite) -: Wow! -: Flowers! (A-pollen-jock-puts-on-some-high-tech-goggles-that-shows-flowers-similar-to heat-sink-goggles.) POLLEN-JOCK: This-is-Blue-Leader. We-have-roses-visual. -: Bring-it-around-30-degrees-and-hold. -: Roses! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: 30-degrees #roger.-Bringing-it-around. -: Stand-to-the-side #kid. It's-got-a-bit-of-a-kick. (The-pollen-jock-fires-a-high-tech-gun-at-the-flower #shooting-tubes-that suck-up-the-nectar-from-the-flower-and-collects-it-into-a-pouch-on-the-gun) BARRY: That-is-one-nectar-collector! POLLEN-JOCK-#1== --Ever-see-pollination-up-close? BARRY: --No #sir. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Barry-and-the-Pollen-jock-fly-over-the-field #the-pollen-jock-sprinkles pollen-as-he-goes) -: I-pick-up-some-pollen-here #sprinkle-it over-here.-Maybe-a-dash-over-there #: a-pinch-on-that-one. See-that?-It's-a-little-bit-of-magic. BARRY: That's-amazing.-Why-do-we-do-that? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: That's-pollen-power.-More-pollen #more flowers #more-nectar #more-honey-for-us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: I'm-picking-up-a-lot-of-bright-yellow. could-be-daisies.-Don't-we-need-those? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Copy-that-visual. -: Wait.-One-of-these-flowers seems-to-be-on-the-move. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Say-again?-You're-reporting a-moving-flower? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Affirmative. (The-Pollen-jocks-land-near-the-'flowers'-which #to-the-audience-are obviously-just-tennis-balls) KEN: (In-the-distance)-That-was-on-the-line! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: This-is-the-coolest.-What-is-it? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-know #but-I'm-loving-this-color. -: It-smells-good. Not-like-a-flower #but-I-like-it. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Yeah #fuzzy. (Sticks-his-hand-on-the-ball-but-it-gets-stuck) POLLEN-JOCK-#3== Chemical-y. (The-pollen-jock-finally-gets-his-hand-free-from-the-tennis-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Careful #guys.-It's-a-little-grabby. (The-pollen-jocks-turn-around-and-see-Barry-lying-his-entire-body-on-top-of one-of-the-tennis-balls) POLLEN-JOCK-#2: My-sweet-lord-of-bees! POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Candy-brain #get-off-there! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Pointing-upwards) Problem! (A-human-hand-reaches-down-and-grabs-the-tennis-ball-that-Barry-is-stuck to) BARRY: --Guys! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --This-could-be-bad. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Affirmative. (Vanessa-Bloome-starts-bouncing-the-tennis-ball #not-knowing-Barry-is-stick to-it) BARRY== Very-close. -: Gonna-hurt. -: Mama's-little-boy. (Barry-is-being-hit-back-and-forth-by-two-humans-playing-tennis.-He-is still-stuck-to-the-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: You-are-way-out-of-position #rookie! KEN: Coming-in-at-you-like-a-MISSILE! (Barry-flies-past-the-pollen-jocks #still-stuck-to-the-ball) BARRY: (In-slow-motion) Help-me! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-think-these-are-flowers. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: --Should-we-tell-him? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --I-think-he-knows. BARRY: What-is-this?! KEN: Match-point! -: You-can-start-packing-up #honey #because-you're-about-to-EAT-IT! (A-pollen-jock-coughs-which-confused-Ken-and-he-hits-the-ball-the-wrong-way with-Barry-stuck-to-it-and-it-goes-flying-into-the-city) BARRY: Yowser! (Barry-bounces-around-town-and-gets-stuck-in-the-engine-of-a-car.-He-flies into-the-air-conditioner-and-sees-a-bug-that-was-frozen-in-there) BARRY: Ew #gross. (The-man-driving-the-car-turns-on-the-air-conditioner-which-blows-Barry into-the-car) GIRL-IN-CAR: There's-a-bee-in-the-car! -: --Do-something! DAD-DRIVING-CAR: --I'm-driving! BABY-GIRL: (Waving-at-Barry) --Hi #bee. (Barry-smiles-and-waves-at-the-baby-girl) GUY-IN-BACK-OF-CAR: --He's-back-here! -: He's-going-to-sting-me! GIRL-IN-CAR: Nobody-move.-If-you-don't-move #he-won't-sting-you.-Freeze! (Barry-freezes-as-well #hovering-in-the-middle-of-the-car) -: GRANDMA-IN-CAR== He-blinked! (The-grandma-whips-out-some-bee-spray-and-sprays-everywhere-in-the-car #climbing-into-the-front-seat #still-trying-to-spray-Barry) GIRL-IN-CAR: Spray-him #Granny! DAD-DRIVING-THE-CAR: What-are-you-doing?! (Barry-escapes-the-car-through-the-air-conditioner-and-is-flying-high-above the-ground #safe.) BARRY: Wow...-the-tension-level out-here-is-unbelievable. (Barry-sees-that-storm-clouds-are-gathering-and-he-can-see-rain-clouds moving-into-this-direction) -: I-gotta-get-home. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-rain-drop-hits-Barry-and-one-of-his-wings-is-damaged) -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-second-rain-drop-hits-Barry-again-and-he-spirals-downwards) Mayday!-Mayday!-Bee-going-down! (WW2-plane-sound-effects-are-played-as-he-plummets #and-he-crash-lands-on-a plant-inside-an-apartment-near-the-window) VANESSA-BLOOME: Ken #could-you-close the-window-please? KEN== Hey #check-out-my-new-resume. I-made-it-into-a-fold-out-brochure. -: You-see? (Folds-brochure-resume-out) Folds-out. (Ken-closes-the-window #trapping-Barry-inside) BARRY: Oh #no.-More-humans.-I-don't-need-this. (Barry-tries-to-fly-away-but-smashes-into-the-window-and-falls-again) -: What-was-that? (Barry-keeps-trying-to-fly-out-the-window-but-he-keeps-being-knocked-back because-the-window-is-closed) Maybe-this-time.-This-time.-This-time. This-time!-This-time!-This... -: Drapes! (Barry-taps-the-glass.-He-doesn't-understand-what-it-is) That-is-diabolical. KEN: It's-fantastic.-It's-got-all-my-special skills #even-my-top-ten-favorite-movies. ANDY: What's-number-one?-Star-Wars? KEN: Nah #I-don't-go-for-that... (Ken-makes-finger-guns-and-makes-'pew-pew-pew'-sounds-and-then-stops) -: ...kind-of-stuff. BARRY: No-wonder-we-shouldn't-talk-to-them. They're-out-of-their-minds. KEN: When-I-leave-a-job-interview #they're flabbergasted #can't-believe-what-I-say. BARRY: (Looking-at-the-light-on-the-ceiling) There's-the-sun.-Maybe-that's-a-way-out. (Starts-flying-towards-the-lightbulb) -: I-don't-remember-the-sun having-a-big-75-on-it. (Barry-hits-the-lightbulb-and-falls-into-the-dip-on-the-table-that-the humans-are-sitting-at) KEN: I-predicted-global-warming. -: I-could-feel-it-getting-hotter. At-first-I-thought-it-was-just-me. (Andy-dips-a-chip-into-the-bowl-and-scoops-up-some-dip-with-Barry-on-it-and is-about-to-put-it-in-his-mouth) -: Wait!-Stop!-Bee! (Andy-drops-the-chip-with-Barry-in-fear-and-backs-away.-All-the-humans freak-out) -: Stand-back.-These-are-winter-boots. (Ken-has-winter-boots-on-his-hands-and-he-is-about-to-smash-the-bee-but Vanessa-saves-him-last-second) VANESSA: Wait! -: Don't-kill-him! (Vanessa-puts-Barry-in-a-glass-to-protect-him) KEN: You-know-I'm-allergic-to-them! This-thing-could-kill-me! VANESSA: Why-does-his-life-have less-value-than-yours? KEN: Why-does-his-life-have-any-less-value than-mine?-Is-that-your-statement? VANESSA: I'm-just-saying-all-life-has-value.-You don't-know-what-he's-capable-of-feeling. (Vanessa-picks-up-Ken's-brochure-and-puts-it-under-the-glass-so-she-can carry-Barry-back-to-the-window.-Barry-looks-at-Vanessa-in-amazement) KEN: My-brochure! VANESSA: There-you-go #little-guy. (Vanessa-opens-the-window-and-lets-Barry-out-but-Barry-stays-back-and-is still-shocked-that-a-human-saved-his-life) KEN: I'm-not-scared-of-him. It's-an-allergic-thing. VANESSA: Put-that-on-your-resume-brochure. KEN: My-whole-face-could-puff-up. ANDY: Make-it-one-of-your-special-skills. KEN: Knocking-someone-out is-also-a-special-skill. (Ken-walks-to-the-door) Right.-Bye #Vanessa.-Thanks. -: --Vanessa #next-week?-Yogurt-night? VANESSA: --Sure #Ken.-You-know #whatever. -: (Vanessa-tries-to-close-door) KEN== --You-could-put-carob-chips-on-there. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door-but-Ken-opens-it-again) KEN: --Supposed-to-be-less-calories. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door) (Fast-forward-to-the-next-day #Barry-is-still-inside-the-house.-He-flies into-the-kitchen-where-Vanessa-is-doing-dishes) BARRY== (Talking-to-himself) I-gotta-say-something. -: She-saved-my-life. I-gotta-say-something. -: All-right #here-it-goes. (Turns-back) Nah. -: What-would-I-say? -: I-could-really-get-in-trouble. -: It's-a-bee-law. You're-not-supposed-to-talk-to-a-human. -: I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this. -: I've-got-to. (Barry-disguises-himself-as-a-character-on-a-food-can-as-Vanessa-walks-by again) -: Oh #I-can't-do-it.-Come-on! -: No.-Yes.-No. -: Do-it.-I-can't. -: How-should-I-start-it? (Barry-strikes-a-pose-and-wiggles-his-eyebrows) 'You-like-jazz?' No #that's-no-good. (Vanessa-is-about-to-walk-past-Barry) Here-she-comes!-Speak #you-fool! -: ...Hi! (Vanessa-gasps-and-drops-the-dishes-in-fright-and-notices-Barry-on-the counter) -: I'm-sorry. VANESSA: --You're-talking. BARRY: --Yes #I-know. VANESSA: (Pointing-at-Barry) You're-talking! BARRY: I'm-so-sorry. VANESSA: No #it's-OK.-It's-fine. I-know-I'm-dreaming. -: But-I-don't-recall-going-to-bed. BARRY: Well #I'm-sure-this is-very-disconcerting. VANESSA: This-is-a-bit-of-a-surprise-to-me. I-mean #you're-a-bee! BARRY: I-am.-And-I'm-not-supposed to-be-doing-this #(Pointing-to-the-living-room-where-Ken-tried-to-kill-him-last-night) but-they-were-all-trying-to-kill-me. -: And-if-it-wasn't-for-you... -: I-had-to-thank-you. It's-just-how-I-was-raised. (Vanessa-stabs-her-hand-with-a-fork-to-test-whether-she's-dreaming-or-not) -: That-was-a-little-weird. VANESSA: --I'm-talking-with-a-bee. BARRY: --Yeah. VANESSA: I'm-talking-to-a-bee. And-the-bee-is-talking-to-me! BARRY: I-just-want-to-say-I'm-grateful. I'll-leave-now. (Barry-turns-to-leave) VANESSA: --Wait!-How-did-you-learn-to-do-that? BARRY: (Flying-back) --What? VANESSA: The-talking...thing. BARRY: Same-way-you-did #I-guess. 'Mama #Dada #honey.'-You-pick-it-up. VANESSA: --That's-very-funny. BARRY: --Yeah. -: Bees-are-funny.-If-we-didn't-laugh #we'd-cry-with-what-we-have-to-deal-with. -: Anyway... VANESSA: Can-I... -: ...get-you-something? BARRY: --Like-what? VANESSA: I-don't-know.-I-mean... I-don't-know.-Coffee? BARRY: I-don't-want-to-put-you-out. VANESSA: It's-no-trouble.-It-takes-two-minutes. -: --It's-just-coffee. BARRY: --I-hate-to-impose. (Vanessa-starts-making-coffee) VANESSA: --Don't-be-ridiculous! BARRY: --Actually #I-would-love-a-cup. VANESSA: Hey #you-want-rum-cake? BARRY: --I-shouldn't. VANESSA: --Have-some. BARRY: --No #I-can't. VANESSA: --Come-on! BARRY: I'm-trying-to-lose-a-couple-micrograms. VANESSA: --Where? BARRY: --These-stripes-don't-help. VANESSA: You-look-great! BARRY: I-don't-know-if-you-know anything-about-fashion. -: Are-you-all-right? VANESSA: (Pouring-coffee-on-the-floor-and-missing-the-cup-completely) No. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-sitting-together-at-a-table on-top-of-the-apartment-building-drinking-coffee) -: BARRY== He's-making-the-tie-in-the-cab as-they're-flying-up-Madison. -: He-finally-gets-there. -: He-runs-up-the-steps-into-the-church. The-wedding-is-on. -: And-he-says #'Watermelon? I-thought-you-said-Guatemalan. -: Why-would-I-marry-a-watermelon?' (Barry-laughs-but-Vanessa-looks-confused) VANESSA: Is-that-a-bee-joke? BARRY: That's-the-kind-of-stuff-we-do. VANESSA: Yeah #different. -: So #what-are-you-gonna-do #Barry? (Barry-stands-on-top-of-a-sugar-cube-floating-in-his-coffee-and-paddles-it around-with-a-straw-like-it's-a-gondola) BARRY: About-work?-I-don't-know. -: I-want-to-do-my-part-for-the-hive #but-I-can't-do-it-the-way-they-want. VANESSA: I-know-how-you-feel. BARRY: --You-do? VANESSA: --Sure. -: My-parents-wanted-me-to-be-a-lawyer-or a-doctor #but-I-wanted-to-be-a-florist. BARRY: --Really? VANESSA: --My-only-interest-is-flowers. BARRY: Our-new-queen-was-just-elected with-that-same-campaign-slogan. -: Anyway #if-you-look... (Barry-points-to-a-tree-in-the-middle-of-Central-Park) -: There's-my-hive-right-there.-See-it? VANESSA: You're-in-Sheep-Meadow! BARRY: Yes!-I'm-right-off-the-Turtle-Pond! VANESSA: No-way!-I-know-that-area. I-lost-a-toe-ring-there-once. BARRY: --Why-do-girls-put-rings-on-their-toes? VANESSA: --Why-not? BARRY: --It's-like-putting-a-hat-on-your-knee. VANESSA: --Maybe-I'll-try-that. (A-custodian-installing-a-lightbulb-looks-over-at-them-but-to-his perspective-it-looks-like-Vanessa-is-talking-to-a-cup-of-coffee-on-the table) CUSTODIAN: --You-all-right #ma'am? VANESSA: --Oh #yeah.-Fine. -: Just-having-two-cups-of-coffee! BARRY: Anyway #this-has-been-great. Thanks-for-the-coffee. VANESSA== Yeah #it's-no-trouble. BARRY: Sorry-I-couldn't-finish-it.-If-I-did #I'd-be-up-the-rest-of-my-life. (Barry-points-towards-the-rum-cake) -: Can-I-take-a-piece-of-this-with-me? VANESSA: Sure!-Here #have-a-crumb. (Vanessa-hands-Barry-a-crumb-but-it-is-still-pretty-big-for-Barry) BARRY: --Thanks! VANESSA: --Yeah. BARRY: All-right.-Well #then... I-guess-I'll-see-you-around. -: Or-not. VANESSA: OK #Barry... BARRY: And-thank-you so-much-again...-for-before. VANESSA: Oh #that?-That-was-nothing. BARRY: Well #not-nothing #but...-Anyway... (Vanessa-and-Barry-hold-hands #but-Vanessa-has-to-hold-out-a-finger-because her-hands-is-to-big-and-Barry-holds-that) (The-custodian-looks-over-again-and-it-appears-Vanessa-is-laughing-at-her coffee-again.-The-lightbulb-that-he-was-screwing-in-sparks-and-he-falls-off the-ladder) (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-two-Bee-Scientists-testing-out-a-parachute in-a-Honex-wind-tunnel) BEE-SCIENTIST-#1: This-can't-possibly-work. BEE-SCIENTIST-#2: He's-all-set-to-go. We-may-as-well-try-it. -: OK #Dave #pull-the-chute. (Dave-pulls-the-chute-and-the-wind-slams-him-against-the-wall-and-he-falls on-his-face.The-camera-pans-over-and-we-see-Barry-and-Adam-walking together) ADAM: --Sounds-amazing. BARRY: --It-was-amazing! -: It-was-the-scariest #happiest-moment-of-my-life. ADAM: Humans!-I-can't-believe you-were-with-humans! -: Giant #scary-humans! What-were-they-like? BARRY: Huge-and-crazy.-They-talk-crazy. -: They-eat-crazy-giant-things. They-drive-crazy. ADAM: --Do-they-try-and-kill-you #like-on-TV? BARRY: --Some-of-them.-But-some-of-them-don't. ADAM: --How'd-you-get-back? BARRY: --Poodle. ADAM: You-did-it #and-I'm-glad.-You-saw whatever-you-wanted-to-see. -: You-had-your-'experience.'-Now-you can-pick-out-your-job-and-be-normal. BARRY: --Well... ADAM: --Well? BARRY: Well #I-met-someone. ADAM: You-did?-Was-she-Bee-ish? -: --A-wasp?!-Your-parents-will-kill-you! BARRY: --No #no #no #not-a-wasp. ADAM: --Spider? BARRY: --I'm-not-attracted-to-spiders. -: I-know #for-everyone-else #it's-the-hottest-thing #with-the-eight-legs-and-all. -: I-can't-get-by-that-face. ADAM: So-who-is-she? BARRY: She's...-human. ADAM: No #no.-That's-a-bee-law. You-wouldn't-break-a-bee-law. BARRY: --Her-name's-Vanessa. (Adam-puts-his-head-in-his-hands) ADAM: --Oh #boy. BARRY== She's-so-nice.-And-she's-a-florist! ADAM: Oh #no!-You're-dating-a-human-florist! BARRY: We're-not-dating. ADAM: You're-flying-outside-the-hive #talking to-humans-that-attack-our-homes -: with-power-washers-and-M-80s! That's-one-eighth-a-stick-of-dynamite! BARRY: She-saved-my-life! And-she-understands-me. ADAM: This-is-over! BARRY: Eat-this. (Barry-gives-Adam-a-piece-of-the-crumb-that-he-got-from-Vanessa.-Adam-eats it) ADAM: (Adam's-tone-changes) This-is-not-over!-What-was-that? BARRY: --They-call-it-a-crumb. ADAM: --It-was-so-stingin'-stripey! BARRY: And-that's-not-what-they-eat. That's-what-falls-off-what-they-eat! -: --You-know-what-a-Cinnabon-is? ADAM: --No. (Adam-opens-a-door-behind-him-and-he-pulls-Barry-in) BARRY: It's-bread-and-cinnamon-and-frosting. ADAM: Be-quiet! BARRY: They-heat-it-up... ADAM: Sit-down! (Adam-forces-Barry-to-sit-down) BARRY: (Still-rambling-about-Cinnabons) ...really-hot! (Adam-grabs-Barry-by-the-shoulders) ADAM: --Listen-to-me! -: We-are-not-them!-We're-us. There's-us-and-there's-them! BARRY== Yes #but-who-can-deny the-heart-that-is-yearning? ADAM: There's-no-yearning. Stop-yearning.-Listen-to-me! -: You-have-got-to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend.-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEE: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEES-AND-ADAM: Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-is-laying-on-a-raft-in-a-pool-full-of-honey. He-is-wearing-sunglasses) JANET: There-he-is.-He's-in-the-pool. MARTIN: You-know-what-your-problem-is #Barry? (Barry-pulls-down-his-sunglasses-and-he-looks-annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I-gotta-start-thinking-bee? JANET: How-much-longer-will-this-go-on? MARTIN: It's-been-three-days! Why-aren't-you-working? (Puts-sunglasses-back-on) BARRY: I've-got-a-lot-of-big-life-decisions to-think-about. MARTIN: What-life?-You-have-no-life! You-have-no-job.-You're-barely-a-bee! JANET: Would-it-kill-you to-make-a-little-honey? (Barry-rolls-off-the-raft-and-sinks-into-the-honey-pool) -: Barry #come-out. Your-father's-talking-to-you. -: Martin #would-you-talk-to-him? MARTIN: Barry #I'm-talking-to-you! (Barry-keeps-sinking-into-the-honey-until-he-is-suddenly-in-Central-Park having-a-picnic-with-Vanessa) (Barry-has-a-cup-of-honey-and-he-clinks-his-glass-with-Vanessas.-Suddenly-a mosquito-lands-on-Vanessa-and-she-slaps-it #killing-it.-They-both-gasp-but then-burst-out-laughing) VANESSA: You-coming? (The-camera-pans-over-and-Vanessa-is-climbing-into-a-small-yellow-airplane) BARRY: Got-everything? VANESSA: All-set! BARRY: Go-ahead.-I'll-catch-up. (Vanessa-lifts-off-and-flies-ahead) VANESSA: Don't-be-too-long. (Barry-catches-up-with-Vanessa-and-he-sticks-out-his-arms-like-ana-irplane. He-rolls-from-side-to-side #and-Vanessa-copies-him-with-the-airplane) VANESSA: Watch-this! (Barry-stays-back-and-watches-as-Vanessa-draws-a-heart-in-the-air-using pink-smoke-from-the-plane #but-on-the-last-loop-the-loop-she-suddenly crashes-into-a-mountain-and-the-plane-explodes.-The-destroyed-plane-falls into-some-rocks-and-explodes-a-second-time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As-Barry-is-yelling-his-mouth-fills-with-honey-and-he-wakes-up #discovering-that-he-was-just-day-dreaming.-He-slowly-sinks-back-into-the honey-pool) MARTIN: --We're-still-here. JANET: --I-told-you-not-to-yell-at-him. -: He-doesn't-respond-to-yelling! MARTIN: --Then-why-yell-at-me? JANET: --Because-you-don't-listen! MARTIN: I'm-not-listening-to-this. BARRY: Sorry #I've-gotta-go. MARTIN: --Where-are-you-going? BARRY: --I'm-meeting-a-friend. JANET: A-girl?-Is-this-why-you-can't-decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry-flies-out-the-door-and-Martin-shakes-his-head) -: JANET== I-just-hope-she's-Bee-ish. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-sitting-on-Vanessa's-shoulder-and-she-is closing-up-her-shop) BARRY: They-have-a-huge-parade of-flowers-every-year-in-Pasadena? VANESSA: To-be-in-the-Tournament-of-Roses #that's-every-florist's-dream! -: Up-on-a-float #surrounded by-flowers #crowds-cheering. BARRY: A-tournament.-Do-the-roses compete-in-athletic-events? VANESSA: No.-All-right #I've-got-one. How-come-you-don't-fly-everywhere? BARRY: It's-exhausting.-Why-don't-you run-everywhere?-It's-faster. VANESSA: Yeah #OK #I-see #I-see. All-right #your-turn. BARRY: TiVo.-You-can-just-freeze-live-TV? That's-insane! VANESSA: You-don't-have-that? BARRY: We-have-Hivo #but-it's-a-disease. It's-a-horrible #horrible-disease. VANESSA: Oh #my. (A-human-walks-by-and-Barry-narrowly-avoids-him) PASSERBY: Dumb-bees! VANESSA: You-must-want-to-sting-all-those-jerks. BARRY: We-try-not-to-sting. It's-usually-fatal-for-us. VANESSA: So-you-have-to-watch-your-temper (They-walk-into-a-store) BARRY: Very-carefully. You-kick-a-wall #take-a-walk #: write-an-angry-letter-and-throw-it-out. Work-through-it-like-any-emotion: -: Anger #jealousy #lust. (Suddenly-an-employee(Hector)-hits-Barry-off-of-Vanessa's-shoulder.-Hector thinks-he's-saving-Vanessa) VANESSA: (To-Barry) Oh #my-goodness!-Are-you-OK? (Barry-is-getting-up-off-the-floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To-Hector) --What-is-wrong-with-you?! HECTOR: (Confused) --It's-a-bug. VANESSA: He's-not-bothering-anybody. Get-out-of-here #you-creep! (Vanessa-hits-Hector-across-the-face-with-the-magazine-he-had-and-then-hits him-in-the-head.-Hector-backs-away-covering-his-head) Barry: What-was-that?-A-Pic-'N'-Save-circular? (Vanessa-sets-Barry-back-on-her-shoulder) VANESSA: Yeah #it-was.-How-did-you-know? BARRY: It-felt-like-about-10-pages. Seventy-five-is-pretty-much-our-limit. VANESSA: You've-really-got-that down-to-a-science. BARRY: --Oh #we-have-to.-I-lost-a-cousin-to-Italian-Vogue. VANESSA: --I'll-bet. (Barry-looks-to-his-right-and-notices-there-is-honey-for-sale-in-the-aisle) BARRY: What-in-the-name of-Mighty-Hercules-is-this? (Barry-looks-at-all-the-brands-of-honey #shocked) How-did-this-get-here? Cute-Bee #Golden-Blossom #: Ray-Liotta-Private-Select? (Barry-puts-his-hands-up-and-slowly-turns-around #a-look-of-disgust-on-his face) VANESSA: --Is-he-that-actor? BARRY: --I-never-heard-of-him. -: --Why-is-this-here? VANESSA: --For-people.-We-eat-it. BARRY: You-don't-have enough-food-of-your-own?! (Hector-looks-back-and-notices-that-Vanessa-is-talking-to-Barry) VANESSA: --Well #yes. BARRY: --How-do-you-get-it? VANESSA: --Bees-make-it. BARRY: --I-know-who-makes-it! -: And-it's-hard-to-make-it! -: There's-heating #cooling #stirring. You-need-a-whole-Krelman-thing! VANESSA: --It's-organic. BARRY: --It's-our-ganic! VANESSA: It's-just-honey #Barry. BARRY: Just-what?! -: Bees-don't-know-about-this! This-is-stealing!-A-lot-of-stealing! -: You've-taken-our-homes #schools #hospitals!-This-is-all-we-have! -: And-it's-on-sale?! I'm-getting-to-the-bottom-of-this. -: I'm-getting-to-the-bottom of-all-of-this! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-paints-his-face-with-black-strikes-like-a soldier-and-sneaks-into-the-storage-section-of-the-store) (Two-men #including-Hector #are-loading-boxes-into-some-trucks) -: SUPERMARKET-EMPLOYEE== Hey #Hector. -: --You-almost-done? HECTOR: --Almost. (Barry-takes-a-step-to-peak-around-the-corner) (Whispering) He-is-here.-I-sense-it. -: Well #I-guess-I'll-go-home-now (Hector-pretends-to-walk-away-by-walking-in-place-and-speaking-loudly) -: and-just-leave-this-nice-honey-out #with-no-one-around. BARRY: You're-busted #box-boy! HECTOR: I-knew-I-heard-something! So-you-can-talk! BARRY: I-can-talk. And-now-you'll-start-talking! -: Where-you-getting-the-sweet-stuff? Who's-your-supplier? HECTOR: I-don't-understand. I-thought-we-were-friends. -: The-last-thing-we-want to-do-is-upset-bees! (Hector-takes-a-thumbtack-out-of-the-board-behind-him-and-sword-fights Barry.-Barry-is-using-his-stinger-like-a-sword) -: You're-too-late!-It's-ours-now! BARRY: You #sir #have-crossed the-wrong-sword! HECTOR: You #sir #will-be-lunch for-my-iguana #Ignacio! (Barry-hits-the-thumbtack-out-of-Hectors-hand-and-Hector-surrenders) Barry: Where-is-the-honey-coming-from? -: Tell-me-where! HECTOR: (Pointing-to-leaving-truck) Honey-Farms!-It-comes-from-Honey-Farms! (Barry-chases-after-the-truck-but-it-is-getting-away.-He-flies-onto-a bicyclists'-backpack-and-he-catches-up-to-the-truck) CAR-DRIVER: (To-bicyclist) Crazy-person! (Barry-flies-off-and-lands-on-the-windshield-of-the-Honey-farms-truck. Barry-looks-around-and-sees-dead-bugs-splattered-everywhere) BARRY: What-horrible-thing-has-happened-here? -: These-faces #they-never-knew what-hit-them.-And-now -: they're-on-the-road-to-nowhere! (Barry-hears-a-sudden-whisper) (Barry-looks-up-and-sees-Mooseblood #a-mosquito-playing-dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just-keep-still. BARRY: What?-You're-not-dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do-I-look-dead?-They-will-wipe-anything that-moves.-Where-you-headed? BARRY: To-Honey-Farms. I-am-onto-something-huge-here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm-going-to-Alaska.-Moose-blood #crazy-stuff.-Blows-your-head-off! ANOTHER-BUG-PLAYING-DEAD: I'm-going-to-Tacoma. (Barry-looks-at-another-bug) BARRY: --And-you? MOOSEBLOOD: --He-really-is-dead. BARRY: All-right. (Another-bug-hits-the-windshield-and-the-drivers-notice.-They-activate-the windshield-wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The-windshield-wipers-are-slowly-sliding-over-the-dead-bugs-and-wiping them-off) BARRY: --What-is-that?! MOOSEBLOOD: --Oh #no! -: --A-wiper!-Triple-blade! BARRY: --Triple-blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump-on!-It's-your-only-chance #bee! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-grab-onto-the-wiper-and-they-hold-on-as-it-wipes-the windshield) Why-does-everything-have to-be-so-doggone-clean?! -: How-much-do-you-people-need-to-see?! (Bangs-on-windshield) -: Open-your-eyes! Stick-your-head-out-the-window! RADIO-IN-TRUCK: From-NPR-News-in-Washington #I'm-Carl-Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But-don't-kill-no-more-bugs! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-are-washed-off-by-the-wipr-fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: --Bee! BARRY: --Moose-blood-guy!! (Barry-starts-screaming-as-he-hangs-onto-the-antenna) (Suddenly-it-is-revealed-that-a-water-bug-is-also-hanging-on-the-antenna. There-is-a-pause-and-then-Barry-and-the-water-bug-both-start-screaming) TRUCK-DRIVER: --You-hear-something? GUY-IN-TRUCK: --Like-what? TRUCK-DRIVER: Like-tiny-screaming. GUY-IN-TRUCK: Turn-off-the-radio. (The-antenna-starts-to-lower-until-it-gets-to-low-and-sinks-into-the-truck. The-water-bug-flies-off-and-Barry-is-forced-to-let-go-and-he-is-blown-away. He-luckily-lands-inside-a-horn-on-top-of-the-truck-where-he-finds Mooseblood #who-was-blown-into-the-same-place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup #bee-boy? BARRY: Hey #Blood. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-that-Barry-is-deep-in-conversation-with Mooseblood.-They-have-been-sitting-in-this-truck-for-a-while) BARRY: ...Just-a-row-of-honey-jars #as-far-as-the-eye-could-see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I-assume-wherever-this-truck-goes is-where-they're-getting-it. -: I-mean #that-honey's-ours. MOOSEBLOOD: --Bees-hang-tight. BARRY: --We're-all-jammed-in. -: It's-a-close-community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not-us #man.-We-on-our-own. Every-mosquito-on-his-own. BARRY: --What-if-you-get-in-trouble? MOOSEBLOOD: --You-a-mosquito #you-in-trouble. -: Nobody-likes-us.-They-just-smack. See-a-mosquito #smack #smack! BARRY: At-least-you're-out-in-the-world. You-must-meet-girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito-girls-try-to-trade-up #get-with-a-moth #dragonfly. -: Mosquito-girl-don't-want-no-mosquito. (An-ambulance-passes-by-and-it-has-a-blood-donation-sign-on-it) You-got-to-be-kidding-me! -: Mooseblood's-about-to-leave the-building!-So-long #bee! (Mooseblood-leaves-and-flies-onto-the-window-of-the-ambulance-where-there are-other-mosquito's-hanging-out) -: --Hey #guys! OTHER-MOSQUITO: --Mooseblood! MOOSEBLOOD: I-knew-I'd-catch-y'all-down-here. Did-you-bring-your-crazy-straw? (The-truck-goes-out-of-view-and-Barry-notices-that-the-truck-he's-on-is pulling-into-a-camp-of-some-sort) TRUCK-DRIVER: We-throw-it-in-jars #slap-a-label-on-it #and-it's-pretty-much-pure-profit. (Barry-flies-out) BARRY: What-is-this-place? BEEKEEPER-1#: A-bee's-got-a-brain the-size-of-a-pinhead. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-are-pinheads! -: Pinhead. -: --Check-out-the-new-smoker. BEEKEEPER-#1: --Oh #sweet.-That's-the-one-you-want. -: The-Thomas-3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER-#1: Ninety-puffs-a-minute #semi-automatic. Twice-the-nicotine #all-the-tar. -: A-couple-breaths-of-this knocks-them-right-out. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money. BARRY: 'They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money'? (The-Beekeeper-sprays-hundreds-of-cheap-miniature-apartments-with-the smoker.-The-bees-are-fainting-or-passing-out) Oh #my! -: What's-going-on?-Are-you-OK? (Barry-flies-into-one-of-the-apartment-and-helps-a-Bee-couple-get-off-the ground.-They-are-coughing-and-its-hard-for-them-to-stand) BEE-IN-APARTMENT: Yeah.-It-doesn't-last-too-long. BARRY: Do-you-know-you're in-a-fake-hive-with-fake-walls? BEE-IN-APPARTMENT: Our-queen-was-moved-here. We-had-no-choice. (The-apartment-room-is-completely-empty-except-for-a-photo-on-the-wall-of the-'queen'-who-is-obviously-a-man-in-women's-clothes) BARRY: This-is-your-queen? That's-a-man-in-women's-clothes! -: That's-a-drag-queen! -: What-is-this? (Barry-flies-out-and-he-discovers-that-there-are-hundreds-of-these structures #each-housing-thousands-of-Bees) Oh #no! -: There's-hundreds-of-them! (Barry-takes-out-his-camera-and-takes-pictures-of-these-Bee-work-camps.-The beekeepers-look-very-evil-in-these-depictions) Bee-honey. -: Our-honey-is-being-brazenly-stolen on-a-massive-scale! -: This-is-worse-than-anything-bears have-done!-I-intend-to-do-something. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-showing-these-pictures-to-his-parents) JANET: Oh #Barry #stop. MARTIN: Who-told-you-humans-are-taking our-honey?-That's-a-rumor. BARRY: Do-these-look-like-rumors? (Holds-up-the-pictures) UNCLE-CARL: That's-a-conspiracy-theory. These-are-obviously-doctored-photos. JANET: How-did-you-get-mixed-up-in-this? ADAM: He's-been-talking-to-humans. JANET: --What? MARTIN: --Talking-to-humans?! ADAM: He-has-a-human-girlfriend. And-they-make-out! JANET: Make-out?-Barry! BARRY: We-do-not. ADAM: --You-wish-you-could. MARTIN: --Whose-side-are-you-on? BARRY: The-bees! UNCLE-CARL: (He-has-been-sitting-in-the-back-of-the-room-this-entire-time) I-dated-a-cricket-once-in-San-Antonio. Those-crazy-legs-kept-me-up-all-night. JANET: Barry #this-is-what-you-want to-do-with-your-life? BARRY: I-want-to-do-it-for-all-our-lives. Nobody-works-harder-than-bees! -: Dad #I-remember-you coming-home-so-overworked -: your-hands-were-still-stirring. You-couldn't-stop. JANET: I-remember-that. BARRY: What-right-do-they-have-to-our-honey? -: We-live-on-two-cups-a-year.-They-put-it in-lip-balm-for-no-reason-whatsoever! ADAM: Even-if-it's-true #what-can-one-bee-do? BARRY: Sting-them-where-it-really-hurts. MARTIN: In-the-face!-The-eye! -: --That-would-hurt. BARRY: --No. MARTIN: Up-the-nose?-That's-a-killer. BARRY: There's-only-one-place-you-can-sting the-humans #one-place-where-it-matters. (Flash-forward-a-bit-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-Bee-News) BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: Hive-at-Five #the-hive's-only full-hour-action-news-source. BEE-PROTESTOR: No-more-bee-beards! BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: With-Bob-Bumble-at-the-anchor-desk. -: Weather-with-Storm-Stinger. -: Sports-with-Buzz-Larvi. -: And-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: --Good-evening.-I'm-Bob-Bumble. JEANETTE-CHUNG: --And-I'm-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: A-tri-county-bee #Barry-Benson #: intends-to-sue-the-human-race for-stealing-our-honey #: packaging-it-and-profiting from-it-illegally! JEANETTE-CHUNG: Tomorrow-night-on-Bee-Larry-King #: we'll-have-three-former-queens-here-in our-studio #discussing-their-new-book #: Classy-Ladies #out-this-week-on-Hexagon. (The-scene-changes-to-an-interview-on-the-news-with-Bee-version-of-Larry King-and-Barry) BEE-LARRY-KING: Tonight-we're-talking-to-Barry-Benson. -: Did-you-ever-think #'I'm-a-kid from-the-hive.-I-can't-do-this'? BARRY: Bees-have-never-been-afraid to-change-the-world. -: What-about-Bee-Columbus? Bee-Gandhi?-Bejesus? BEE-LARRY-KING: Where-I'm-from #we'd-never-sue-humans. -: We-were-thinking of-stickball-or-candy-stores. BARRY: How-old-are-you? BEE-LARRY-KING: The-bee-community is-supporting-you-in-this-case #: which-will-be-the-trial of-the-bee-century. BARRY: You-know #they-have-a-Larry-King in-the-human-world-too. BEE-LARRY-KING: It's-a-common-name.-Next-week... BARRY: He-looks-like-you-and-has-a-show and-suspenders-and-colored-dots... BEE-LARRY-KING: Next-week... BARRY: Glasses #quotes-on-the-bottom-from-the guest-even-though-you-just-heard-'em. BEE-LARRY-KING: Bear-Week-next-week! They're-scary #hairy-and-here #live. (Bee-Larry-King-gets-annoyed-and-flies-away-offscreen) BARRY: Always-leans-forward #pointy-shoulders #squinty-eyes #very-Jewish. (Flash-forward-in-time.-We-see-Vanessa-enter-and-Ken-enters-behind-her. They-are-arguing) KEN: In-tennis #you-attack at-the-point-of-weakness! VANESSA: It-was-my-grandmother #Ken.-She's-81. KEN== Honey #her-backhand's-a-joke! I'm-not-gonna-take-advantage-of-that? BARRY: (To-Ken) Quiet #please. Actual-work-going-on-here. KEN: (Pointing-at-Barry) --Is-that-that-same-bee? VANESSA: --Yes #it-is! -: I'm-helping-him-sue-the-human-race. BARRY: --Hello. KEN: --Hello #bee. VANESSA: This-is-Ken. BARRY: (Recalling-the-'Winter-Boots'-incident-earlier) Yeah #I-remember-you.-Timberland #size ten-and-a-half.-Vibram-sole #I-believe. KEN: (To-Vanessa) Why-does-he-talk-again? VANESSA: Listen #you-better-go 'cause-we're-really-busy-working. KEN: But-it's-our-yogurt-night! VANESSA: (Holding-door-open-for-Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why-is-yogurt-night-so-difficult?! (Ken-leaves-and-Vanessa-walks-over-to-Barry.-His-workplace-is-a-mess) VANESSA: You-poor-thing. You-two-have-been-at-this-for-hours! BARRY: Yes #and-Adam-here has-been-a-huge-help. ADAM: --Frosting... --How-many-sugars? -==BARRY== Just-one.-I-try-not to-use-the-competition. -: So-why-are-you-helping-me? VANESSA: Bees-have-good-qualities. -: And-it-takes-my-mind-off-the-shop. -: Instead-of-flowers #people are-giving-balloon-bouquets-now. BARRY: Those-are-great #if-you're-three. VANESSA: And-artificial-flowers. BARRY: --Oh #those-just-get-me-psychotic! VANESSA: --Yeah #me-too. -: BARRY: Bent-stingers #pointless-pollination. ADAM: Bees-must-hate-those-fake-things! -: Nothing-worse than-a-daffodil-that's-had-work-done. -: Maybe-this-could-make-up for-it-a-little-bit. VANESSA: --This-lawsuit's-a-pretty-big-deal. BARRY: --I-guess. ADAM: You-sure-you-want-to-go-through-with-it? BARRY: Am-I-sure?-When-I'm-done-with the-humans #they-won't-be-able -: to-say #'Honey #I'm-home #' without-paying-a-royalty! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-human-news.-The-camera-shows a-crowd-outside-a-courthouse) NEWS-REPORTER: It's-an-incredible-scene here-in-downtown-Manhattan #: where-the-world-anxiously-waits #because-for-the-first-time-in-history #: we-will-hear-for-ourselves if-a-honeybee-can-actually-speak. (We-are-no-longer-watching-through-a-news-camera) ADAM: What-have-we-gotten-into-here #Barry? BARRY: It's-pretty-big #isn't-it? ADAM== (Looking-at-the-hundreds-of-people-around-the-courthouse) I-can't-believe-how-many-humans don't-work-during-the-day. BARRY: You-think-billion-dollar-multinational food-companies-have-good-lawyers? SECURITY-GUARD: Everybody-needs-to-stay behind-the-barricade. (A-limousine-drives-up-and-a-fat-man #Layton-Montgomery #a-honey-industry owner-gets-out-and-walks-past-Barry) ADAM: --What's-the-matter? BARRY: --I-don't-know #I-just-got-a-chill. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-everyone-is-in-the-court) MONTGOMERY: Well #if-it-isn't-the-bee-team. (To-Honey-Industry-lawyers) You-boys-work-on-this? MAN: All-rise!-The-Honorable Judge-Bumbleton-presiding. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: All-right.-Case-number-4475 #: Superior-Court-of-New-York #Barry-Bee-Benson-v.-the-Honey-Industry -: is-now-in-session. -: Mr.-Montgomery #you're-representing the-five-food-companies-collectively? MONTGOMERY: A-privilege. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson...-you're-representing all-the-bees-of-the-world? (Everyone-looks-closely #they-are-waiting-to-see-if-a-Bee-can-really-talk) (Barry-makes-several-buzzing-sounds-to-sound-like-a-Bee) BARRY: I'm-kidding.-Yes #Your-Honor #we're-ready-to-proceed. JUDGE-BUMBLBETON: Mr.-Montgomery #your-opening-statement #please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies-and-gentlemen-of-the-jury #: my-grandmother-was-a-simple-woman. -: Born-on-a-farm #she-believed it-was-man's-divine-right -: to-benefit-from-the-bounty of-nature-God-put-before-us. -: If-we-lived-in-the-topsy-turvy-world Mr.-Benson-imagines #: just-think-of-what-would-it-mean. -: I-would-have-to-negotiate with-the-silkworm -: for-the-elastic-in-my-britches! -: Talking-bee! (Montgomery-walks-over-and-looks-closely-at-Barry) -: How-do-we-know-this-isn't-some-sort-of -: holographic-motion-picture-capture Hollywood-wizardry? -: They-could-be-using-laser-beams! -: Robotics!-Ventriloquism! Cloning!-For-all-we-know #: he-could-be-on-steroids! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson? BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #there's-no-trickery-here. -: I'm-just-an-ordinary-bee. Honey's-pretty-important-to-me. -: It's-important-to-all-bees. We-invented-it! -: We-make-it.-And-we-protect-it with-our-lives. -: Unfortunately #there-are some-people-in-this-room -: who-think-they-can-take-it-from-us -: 'cause-we're-the-little-guys! I'm-hoping-that #after-this-is-all-over #: you'll-see-how #by-taking-our-honey #you-not-only-take-everything-we-have -: but-everything-we-are! JANET== (To-Martin) I-wish-he'd-dress-like-that all-the-time.-So-nice! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Call-your-first-witness. BARRY: So #Mr.-Klauss-Vanderhayden of-Honey-Farms #big-company-you-have. KLAUSS-VANDERHAYDEN: I-suppose-so. BARRY: I-see-you-also-own Honeyburton-and-Honron! KLAUSS: Yes #they-provide-beekeepers for-our-farms. BARRY: Beekeeper.-I-find-that to-be-a-very-disturbing-term. -: I-don't-imagine-you-employ any-bee-free-ers #do-you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) --No. BARRY: --I-couldn't-hear-you. KLAUSS: --No. BARRY: --No. -: Because-you-don't-free-bees. You-keep-bees.-Not-only-that #: it-seems-you-thought-a-bear-would-be an-appropriate-image-for-a-jar-of-honey. KLAUSS: They're-very-lovable-creatures. -: Yogi-Bear #Fozzie-Bear #Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You-mean-like-this? (The-bear-from-Over-The-Hedge-barges-in-through-the-back-door-and-it-is roaring-and-standing-on-its-hind-legs.-It-is-thrashing-its-claws-and-people are-screaming.-It-is-being-held-back-by-a-guard-who-has-the-bear-on-a chain) -: (Pointing-to-the-roaring-bear) Bears-kill-bees! -: How'd-you-like-his-head-crashing through-your-living-room?! -: Biting-into-your-couch! Spitting-out-your-throw-pillows! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: OK #that's-enough.-Take-him-away. (The-bear-stops-roaring-and-thrashing-and-walks-out) BARRY: So #Mr.-Sting #thank-you-for-being-here. Your-name-intrigues-me. -: --Where-have-I-heard-it-before? MR.-STING: --I-was-with-a-band-called-The-Police. BARRY: But-you've-never-been a-police-officer #have-you? STING: No #I-haven't. BARRY: No #you-haven't.-And-so-here we-have-yet-another-example -: of-bee-culture-casually stolen-by-a-human -: for-nothing-more-than a-prance-about-stage-name. STING: Oh #please. BARRY: Have-you-ever-been-stung #Mr.-Sting? -: Because-I'm-feeling a-little-stung #Sting. -: Or-should-I-say...-Mr.-Gordon-M.-Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's-not-his-real-name?!-You-idiots! BARRY: Mr.-Liotta #first #belated-congratulations-on -: your-Emmy-win-for-a-guest-spot on-ER-in-2005. RAY-LIOTTA: Thank-you.-Thank-you. BARRY: I-see-from-your-resume that-you're-devilishly-handsome -: with-a-churning-inner-turmoil that's-ready-to-blow. RAY-LIOTTA: I-enjoy-what-I-do.-Is-that-a-crime? BARRY: Not-yet-it-isn't.-But-is-this what-it's-come-to-for-you? -: Exploiting-tiny #helpless-bees so-you-don't -: have-to-rehearse your-part-and-learn-your-lines #sir? RAY-LIOTTA: Watch-it #Benson! I-could-blow-right-now! BARRY: This-isn't-a-goodfella. This-is-a-badfella! (Ray-Liotta-looses-it-and-tries-to-grab-Barry) RAY-LIOTTA: Why-doesn't-someone-just-step-on this-creep #and-we-can-all-go-home?! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: --Order-in-this-court! RAY-LIOTTA: --You're-all-thinking-it! (Judge-Bumbleton-starts-banging-her-gavel) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Order!-Order #I-say! RAY-LIOTTA: --Say-it! MAN: --Mr.-Liotta #please-sit-down! (We-see-a-montage-of-magazines-which-feature-the-court-case) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-back-home-with-Vanessa) BARRY: I-think-it-was-awfully-nice of-that-bear-to-pitch-in-like-that. VANESSA: I-think-the-jury's-on-our-side. BARRY: Are-we-doing-everything-right #you-know #legally? VANESSA: I'm-a-florist. BARRY: Right.-Well #here's-to-a-great-team. VANESSA: To-a-great-team! (Ken-walks-in-from-work.-He-sees-Barry-and-he-looks-upset-when-he-sees Barry-clinking-his-glass-with-Vanessa) KEN: Well #hello. VANESSA: --Oh #Ken! BARRY: --Hello! VANESSA: I-didn't-think-you-were-coming. -: No #I-was-just-late. I-tried-to-call #but... (Ken-holds-up-his-phone-and-flips-it-open.-The-phone-has-no-charge) ...the-battery... VANESSA: I-didn't-want-all-this-to-go-to-waste #so-I-called-Barry.-Luckily #he-was-free. KEN: Oh #that-was-lucky. (Ken-sits-down-at-the-table-across-from-Barry-and-Vanessa-leaves-the-room) VANESSA: There's-a-little-left. I-could-heat-it-up. KEN: (Not-taking-his-eyes-off-Barry) Yeah #heat-it-up #sure #whatever. BARRY: So-I-hear-you're-quite-a-tennis-player. -: I'm-not-much-for-the-game-myself. The-ball's-a-little-grabby. KEN: That's-where-I-usually-sit. Right... (Points-to-where-Barry-is-sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling-from-other-room) Ken #Barry-was-looking-at-your-resume #: and-he-agreed-with-me-that-eating-with chopsticks-isn't-really-a-special-skill. KEN: (To-Barry) You-think-I-don't-see-what-you're-doing? BARRY: I-know-how-hard-it-is-to-find the-right-job.-We-have-that-in-common. KEN: Do-we? BARRY: Bees-have-100-percent-employment #but-we-do-jobs-like-taking-the-crud-out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's-just-what I-was-thinking-about-doing. (Ken-reaches-for-a-fork-on-the-table-but-knocks-if-on-the-floor.-He-goes-to pick-it-up) VANESSA: Ken #I-let-Barry-borrow-your-razor for-his-fuzz.-I-hope-that-was-all-right. (Ken-quickly-rises-back-up-after-hearing-this-but-hits-his-head-on-the table-and-yells) BARRY: I'm-going-to-drain-the-old-stinger. KEN: Yeah #you-do-that. (Barry-flies-past-Ken-to-get-to-the-bathroom-and-Ken-freaks-out #splashing some-of-the-wine-he-was-using-to-cool-his-head-in-his-eyes.-He-yells-in anger) (Barry-looks-at-the-magazines-featuring-his-victories-in-court) BARRY: Look-at-that. (Barry-flies-into-the-bathroom) (He-puts-his-hand-on-his-head-but-this-makes-hurts-him-and-makes-him-even madder.-He-yells-again) (Barry-is-washing-his-hands-in-the-sink-but-then-Ken-walks-in) KEN: You-know #you-know-I've-just-about-had-it (Closes-bathroom-door-behind-him) with-your-little-mind-games. (Ken-is-menacingly-rolling-up-a-magazine) BARRY: (Backing-away) --What's-that? KEN: --Italian-Vogue. BARRY: Mamma-mia #that's-a-lot-of-pages. KEN: It's-a-lot-of-ads. BARRY: Remember-what-Van-said #why-is your-life-more-valuable-than-mine? KEN: That's-funny #I-just-can't-seem-to-recall-that! (Ken-smashes-everything-off-the-sink-with-the-magazine-and-Barry-narrowly escapes) (Ken-follows-Barry-around-and-tries-to-hit-him-with-the-magazine-but-he keeps-missing) (Ken-gets-a-spray-bottle) -: I-think-something-stinks-in-here! BARRY: (Enjoying-the-spray) I-love-the-smell-of-flowers. (Ken-holds-a-lighter-in-front-of-the-spray-bottle) KEN: How-do-you-like-the-smell-of-flames?! BARRY: Not-as-much. (Ken-fires-his-make-shift-flamethrower-but-misses-Barry #burning-the bathroom.-He-torches-the-whole-room-but-looses-his-footing-and-falls-into the-bathtub.-After-getting-hit-in-the-head-by-falling-objects-3-times-he picks-up-the-shower-head #revealing-a-Water-bug-hiding-under-it) WATER-BUG: Water-bug!-Not-taking-sides! (Barry-gets-up-out-of-a-pile-of-bathroom-supplies-and-he-is-wearing-a chapstick-hat) BARRY: Ken #I'm-wearing-a-Chapstick-hat! This-is-pathetic! (Ken-switches-the-shower-head-to-lethal) KEN: I've-got-issues! (Ken-sprays-Barry-with-the-shower-head-and-he-crash-lands-into-the-toilet) (Ken-menacingly-looks-down-into-the-toilet-at-Barry) Well #well #well #a-royal-flush! BARRY: --You're-bluffing. KEN: --Am-I? (flushes-toilet) (Barry-grabs-a-chapstick-from-the-toilet-seat-and-uses-it-to-surf-in-the flushing-toilet) BARRY: Surf's-up #dude! (Barry-flies-out-of-the-toilet-on-the-chapstick-and-sprays-Ken's-face-with the-toilet-water) -: EW #Poo-water! BARRY: That-bowl-is-gnarly. KEN: (Aiming-a-toilet-cleaner-at-Barry) Except-for-those-dirty-yellow-rings! (Barry-cowers-and-covers-his-head-and-Vanessa-runs-in-and-takes-the-toilet cleaner-from-Ken-just-before-he-hits-Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth!-What-are-you-doing?! KEN== (Leaning-towards-Barry) You-know #I-don't-even-like-honey! I-don't-eat-it! VANESSA: We-need-to-talk! (Vanessa-pulls-Ken-out-of-the-bathroom) -: He's-just-a-little-bee! -: And-he-happens-to-be the-nicest-bee-I've-met-in-a-long-time! KEN: Long-time?-What-are-you-talking-about?! Are-there-other-bugs-in-your-life? VANESSA: No #but-there-are-other-things-bugging me-in-life.-And-you're-one-of-them! KEN: Fine!-Talking-bees #no-yogurt-night... -: My-nerves-are-fried-from-riding on-this-emotional-roller-coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye #Ken. (Ken-huffs-and-walks-out-and-slams-the-door.-But-suddenly-he-walks-back-in and-stares-at-Barry) -: And-for-your-information #I-prefer-sugar-free #artificial sweeteners-MADE-BY-MAN! (Ken-leaves-again-and-Vanessa-leans-in-towards-Barry) VANESSA: I'm-sorry-about-all-that. (Ken-walks-back-in-again) KEN: I-know-it's-got an-aftertaste!-I-LIKE-IT! (Ken-leaves-for-the-last-time) VANESSA: I-always-felt-there-was-some-kind of-barrier-between-Ken-and-me. -: I-couldn't-overcome-it. Oh #well. -: Are-you-OK-for-the-trial? BARRY: I-believe-Mr.-Montgomery is-about-out-of-ideas. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry #Adam #and-Vanessa-are-back-in-court) MONTGOMERY-- We-would-like-to-call Mr.-Barry-Benson-Bee-to-the-stand. ADAM: Good-idea!-You-can-really-see-why-he's considered-one-of-the-best-lawyers... (Barry-stares-at-Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton #you've gotta-weave-some-magic with-this-jury #or-it's-gonna-be-all-over. MONTGOMERY: Don't-worry.-The-only-thing-I-have to-do-to-turn-this-jury-around -: is-to-remind-them of-what-they-don't-like-about-bees. (To-lawyer) --You-got-the-tweezers? LAWYER: --Are-you-allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only-to-losing #son.-Only-to-losing. -: Mr.-Benson-Bee #I'll-ask-you what-I-think-we'd-all-like-to-know. -: What-exactly-is-your-relationship (Points-to-Vanessa) -: to-that-woman? BARRY: We're-friends. MONTGOMERY: --Good-friends? BARRY: --Yes. MONTGOMERY: How-good?-Do-you-live-together? ADAM: Wait-a-minute... -: MONTGOMERY: Are-you-her-little... -: ...bedbug? (Adam's-stinger-starts-vibrating.-He-is-agitated) I've-seen-a-bee-documentary-or-two. From-what-I-understand #: doesn't-your-queen-give-birth to-all-the-bee-children? BARRY: --Yeah #but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing-at-Janet-and-Martin) --So-those-aren't-your-real-parents! JANET: --Oh #Barry... BARRY: --Yes #they-are! ADAM: Hold-me-back! (Vanessa-tries-to-hold-Adam-back.-He-wants-to-sting-Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're-an-illegitimate-bee #aren't-you #Benson? ADAM: He's-denouncing-bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't-y'all-date-your-cousins? (Montgomery-leans-over-on-the-jury-stand-and-stares-at-Adam) VANESSA: --Objection! (Vanessa-raises-her-hand-to-object-but-Adam-gets-free.-He-flies-straight-at Montgomery) =ADAM: --I'm-going-to-pincushion-this-guy! BARRY: Adam #don't!-It's-what-he-wants! (Adam-stings-Montgomery-in-the-butt-and-he-starts-thrashing-around) MONTGOMERY: Oh #I'm-hit!! -: Oh #lordy #I-am-hit! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: (Banging-gavel) Order!-Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The-venom!-The-venom is-coursing-through-my-veins! -: I-have-been-felled by-a-winged-beast-of-destruction! -: You-see?-You-can't-treat-them like-equals!-They're-striped-savages! -: Stinging's-the-only-thing they-know!-It's-their-way! BARRY: --Adam #stay-with-me. ADAM: --I-can't-feel-my-legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting-and-throwing-his-body-around-the-room) What-angel-of-mercy will-come-forward-to-suck-the-poison -: from-my-heaving-buttocks? JUDGE-BUMLBETON: I-will-have-order-in-this-court.-Order! -: Order #please! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-see-a-human-news-reporter) NEWS-REPORTER: The-case-of-the-honeybees versus-the-human-race -: took-a-pointed-turn-against-the-bees -: yesterday-when-one-of-their-legal team-stung-Layton-T.-Montgomery. (Adam-is-laying-in-a-hospital-bed-and-Barry-flies-in-to-see-him) BARRY: --Hey #buddy. ADAM: --Hey. BARRY: --Is-there-much-pain? ADAM: --Yeah. -: I... -: I-blew-the-whole-case #didn't-I? BARRY: It-doesn't-matter.-What-matters-is you're-alive.-You-could-have-died. ADAM: I'd-be-better-off-dead.-Look-at-me. (A-small-plastic-sword-is-replaced-as-Adam's-stinger) They-got-it-from-the-cafeteria downstairs #in-a-tuna-sandwich. -: Look #there's a-little-celery-still-on-it. (Flicks-off-the-celery-and-sighs) BARRY: What-was-it-like-to-sting-someone? ADAM: I-can't-explain-it.-It-was-all... -: All-adrenaline-and-then... and-then-ecstasy! BARRY: ...All-right. ADAM: You-think-it-was-all-a-trap? BARRY: Of-course.-I'm-sorry. I-flew-us-right-into-this. -: What-were-we-thinking?-Look-at-us.-We're just-a-couple-of-bugs-in-this-world. ADAM: What-will-the-humans-do-to-us if-they-win? BARRY: I-don't-know. ADAM: I-hear-they-put-the-roaches-in-motels. That-doesn't-sound-so-bad. BARRY: Adam #they-check-in #but-they-don't-check-out! ADAM: Oh #my. (Coughs) Could-you-get-a-nurse to-close-that-window? BARRY: --Why? ADAM: --The-smoke. (We-can-see-that-two-humans-are-smoking-cigarettes-outside) -: Bees-don't-smoke. BARRY: Right.-Bees-don't-smoke. -: Bees-don't-smoke! But-some-bees-are-smoking. -: That's-it!-That's-our-case! ADAM: It-is?-It's-not-over? BARRY: Get-dressed.-I've-gotta-go-somewhere. -: Get-back-to-the-court-and-stall. Stall-any-way-you-can. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Adam-is-making-a-paper-boat-in-the-courtroom) ADAM: And-assuming-you've-done-step-29-correctly #you're-ready-for-the-tub! (We-see-that-the-jury-have-each-made-their-own-paper-boats-after-being taught-how-by-Adam.-They-all-look-confused) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman. ADAM: Yes?-Yes #Your-Honor! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Where-is-the-rest-of-your-team? ADAM: (Continues-stalling) Well #Your-Honor #it's-interesting. -: Bees-are-trained-to-fly-haphazardly #: and-as-a-result #we-don't-make-very-good-time. -: I-actually-heard-a-funny-story-about... MONTGOMERY: Your-Honor #haven't-these-ridiculous-bugs -: taken-up-enough of-this-court's-valuable-time? -: How-much-longer-will-we-allow these-absurd-shenanigans-to-go-on? -: They-have-presented-no-compelling evidence-to-support-their-charges -: against-my-clients #who-run-legitimate-businesses. -: I-move-for-a-complete-dismissal of-this-entire-case! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman #I'm-afraid-I'm-going -: to-have-to-consider Mr.-Montgomery's-motion. ADAM: But-you-can't!-We-have-a-terrific-case. MONTGOMERY: Where-is-your-proof? Where-is-the-evidence? -: Show-me-the-smoking-gun! BARRY: (Barry-flies-in-through-the-door) Hold-it #Your-Honor! You-want-a-smoking-gun? -: Here-is-your-smoking-gun. (Vanessa-walks-in-holding-a-bee-smoker.-She-sets-it-down-on-the-Judge's podium) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: What-is-that? BARRY: It's-a-bee-smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks-up-smoker) What #this? This-harmless-little-contraption? -: This-couldn't-hurt-a-fly #let-alone-a-bee. (Montgomery-accidentally-fires-it-at-the-bees-in-the-crowd-and-they-faint and-cough) (Dozens-of-reporters-start-taking-pictures-of-the-suffering-bees) BARRY: Look-at-what-has-happened -: to-bees-who-have-never-been-asked #'Smoking-or-non?' -: Is-this-what-nature-intended-for-us? -: To-be-forcibly-addicted to-smoke-machines -: and-man-made-wooden-slat-work-camps? -: Living-out-our-lives-as-honey-slaves to-the-white-man? (Barry-points-to-the-honey-industry-owners.-One-of-them-is-an-African American-so-he-awkwardly-separates-himself-from-the-others) LAWYER: --What-are-we-gonna-do? --He's-playing-the-species-card. BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #please #free-these-bees! ADAM-AND-VANESSA: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! BEES-IN-CROWD: Free-the-bees! HUMAN-JURY: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: The-court-finds-in-favor-of-the-bees! BARRY: Vanessa #we-won! VANESSA: I-knew-you-could-do-it!-High-five! (Vanessa-hits-Barry-hard-because-her-hand-is-too-big) -: Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm-OK!-You-know-what-this-means? -: All-the-honey will-finally-belong-to-the-bees. -: Now-we-won't-have to-work-so-hard-all-the-time. MONTGOMERY: This-is-an-unholy-perversion of-the-balance-of-nature #Benson. -: You'll-regret-this. (Montgomery-leaves-and-Barry-goes-outside-the-courtroom.-Several-reporters start-asking-Barry-questions) REPORTER-1#: Barry #how-much-honey-is-out-there? BARRY: All-right.-One-at-a-time. REPORTER-2#: Barry #who-are-you-wearing? BARRY: My-sweater-is-Ralph-Lauren #and-I-have-no-pants. (Barry-flies-outside-with-the-paparazzi-and-Adam-and-Vanessa-stay-back) ADAM: (To-Vanessa) --What-if-Montgomery's-right? Vanessa: --What-do-you-mean? ADAM: We've-been-living-the-bee-way a-long-time #27-million-years. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-a-man) BUSINESS-MAN: Congratulations-on-your-victory. What-will-you-demand-as-a-settlement? BARRY: First #we'll-demand-a-complete-shutdown of-all-bee-work-camps. (As-Barry-is-talking-we-see-a-montage-of-men-putting-'closed'-tape-over-the work-camps-and-freeing-the-bees-in-the-crappy-apartments) Then-we-want-back-the-honey that-was-ours-to-begin-with #: every-last-drop. (Men-in-suits-are-pushing-all-the-honey-of-the-aisle-and-into-carts) We-demand-an-end-to-the-glorification of-the-bear-as-anything-more (We-see-a-statue-of-a-bear-shaped-honey-container-being-pulled-down-by bees) than-a-filthy #smelly #bad-breath-stink-machine. -: We're-all-aware of-what-they-do-in-the-woods. (We-see-Winnie-the-Pooh-sharing-his-honey-with-Piglet-in-the-cross-hairs-of a-high-tech-sniper-rifle) BARRY: (Looking-through-binoculars) Wait-for-my-signal. -: Take-him-out. (Winnie-gets-hit-by-a-tranquilizer-dart-and-dramatically-falls-off-the-log he-was-standing-on #his-tongue-hanging-out.-Piglet-looks-at-Pooh-in-fear and-the-Sniper-takes-the-honey.) SNIPER: He'll-have-nausea for-a-few-hours #then-he'll-be-fine. (Flash-forward-in-time) BARRY: And-we-will-no-longer-tolerate bee-negative-nicknames... (Mr.-Sting-is-sitting-at-home-until-he-is-taken-out-of-his-house-by-the-men in-suits) STING: But-it's-just-a-prance-about-stage-name! BARRY: ...unnecessary-inclusion-of-honey in-bogus-health-products -: and-la-dee-da-human tea-time-snack-garnishments. (An-old-lady-is-mixing-honey-into-her-tea-but-suddenly-men-in-suits-smash her-face-down-on-the-table-and-take-the-honey) OLD-LADY: Can't-breathe. (A-honey-truck-pulls-up-to-Barry's-hive) WORKER: Bring-it-in #boys! -: Hold-it-right-there!-Good. -: Tap-it. (Tons-of-honey-is-being-pumped-into-the-hive's-storage) BEE-WORKER-1#: (Honey-overflows-from-the-cup) Mr.-Buzzwell #we-just-passed-three-cups #and-there's-gallons-more-coming! -: --I-think-we-need-to-shut-down! =BEE-WORKER-#2= --Shut-down?-We've-never-shut-down. -: Shut-down-honey-production! DEAN-BUZZWELL: Stop-making-honey! (The-bees-all-leave-their-stations.-Two-bees-run-into-a-room-and-they-put the-keys-into-a-machine) Turn-your-key #sir! (Two-worker-bees-dramatically-turn-their-keys #which-opens-the-button-which they-press #shutting-down-the-honey-making-machines.-This-is-the-first-time this-has-ever-happened) BEE: ...What-do-we-do-now? (Flash-forward-in-time-and-a-Bee-is-about-to-jump-into-a-pool-full-of honey) Cannonball! (The-bee-gets-stuck-in-the-honey-and-we-get-a-short-montage-of-Bees-leaving work) (We-see-the-Pollen-Jocks-flying-but-one-of-them-gets-a-call-on-his-antenna) LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') We're-shutting-honey-production! -: Mission-abort. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Aborting-pollination-and-nectar-detail. Returning-to-base. (The-Pollen-Jocks-fly-back-to-the-hive) (We-get-a-time-lapse-of-Central-Park-slowly-wilting-away-as-the-bees-all relax) BARRY: Adam #you-wouldn't-believe how-much-honey-was-out-there. ADAM: Oh #yeah? BARRY: What's-going-on?-Where-is-everybody? (The-entire-street-is-deserted) -: --Are-they-out-celebrating? ADAM: --They're-home. -: They-don't-know-what-to-do. Laying-out #sleeping-in. -: I-heard-your-Uncle-Carl-was-on-his-way to-San-Antonio-with-a-cricket. BARRY: At-least-we-got-our-honey-back. ADAM: Sometimes-I-think #so-what-if-humans liked-our-honey?-Who-wouldn't? -: It's-the-greatest-thing-in-the-world! I-was-excited-to-be-part-of-making-it. -: This-was-my-new-desk.-This-was-my new-job.-I-wanted-to-do-it-really-well. -: And-now... -: Now-I-can't. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-Vanessa) BARRY: I-don't-understand why-they're-not-happy. -: I-thought-their-lives-would-be-better! -: They're-doing-nothing.-It's-amazing. Honey-really-changes-people. VANESSA: You-don't-have-any-idea what's-going-on #do-you? BARRY: --What-did-you-want-to-show-me? (Vanessa-takes-Barry-to-the-rooftop-where-they-first-had-coffee-and-points to-her-store) VANESSA: --This. (Points-at-her-flowers.-They-are-all-grey-and-wilting) BARRY: What-happened-here? VANESSA: That-is-not-the-half-of-it. (Small-flash-forward-in-time-and-Vanessa-and-Barry-are-on-the-roof-of-her store-and-she-points-to-Central-Park) (We-see-that-Central-Park-is-no-longer-green-and-colorful #rather-it-is grey #brown #and-dead-like.-It-is-very-depressing-to-look-at) BARRY: Oh #no.-Oh #my. -: They're-all-wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't-look-very-good #does-it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And-whose-fault-do-you-think-that-is? BARRY: You-know #I'm-gonna-guess-bees. VANESSA== (Staring-at-Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically #me. -: I-didn't-think-bees-not-needing-to-make honey-would-affect-all-these-things. VANESSA: It's-not-just-flowers. Fruits #vegetables #they-all-need-bees. BARRY: That's-our-whole-SAT-test-right-there. VANESSA: Take-away-produce #that-affects the-entire-animal-kingdom. -: And-then #of-course... BARRY: The-human-species? -: So-if-there's-no-more-pollination #: it-could-all-just-go-south-here #couldn't-it? VANESSA: I-know-this-is-also-partly-my-fault. BARRY: How-about-a-suicide-pact? VANESSA: How-do-we-do-it? BARRY: --I'll-sting-you #you-step-on-me. VANESSA: --That-just-kills-you-twice. BARRY: Right #right. VANESSA: Listen #Barry... sorry #but-I-gotta-get-going. (Vanessa-leaves) BARRY: (To-himself) I-had-to-open-my-mouth-and-talk. -: Vanessa? -: Vanessa?-Why-are-you-leaving? Where-are-you-going? (Vanessa-is-getting-into-a-taxi) VANESSA: To-the-final-Tournament-of-Roses-parade in-Pasadena. -: They've-moved-it-to-this-weekend because-all-the-flowers-are-dying. -: It's-the-last-chance I'll-ever-have-to-see-it. BARRY: Vanessa #I-just-wanna-say-I'm-sorry. I-never-meant-it-to-turn-out-like-this. VANESSA: I-know.-Me-neither. (The-taxi-starts-to-drive-away) BARRY: Tournament-of-Roses. Roses-can't-do-sports. -: Wait-a-minute.-Roses.-Roses? -: Roses! -: Vanessa! (Barry-flies-after-the-Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! -: Barry? (Barry-is-flying-outside-the-window-of-the-taxi) BARRY: --Roses-are-flowers! VANESSA: --Yes #they-are. BARRY: Flowers #bees #pollen! VANESSA: I-know. That's-why-this-is-the-last-parade. BARRY: Maybe-not. Could-you-ask-him-to-slow-down? VANESSA: Could-you-slow-down? (The-taxi-driver-screeches-to-a-stop-and-Barry-keeps-flying-forward) -: Barry! (Barry-flies-back-to-the-window) BARRY: OK #I-made-a-huge-mistake. This-is-a-total-disaster #all-my-fault. VANESSA: Yes #it-kind-of-is. BARRY: I've-ruined-the-planet. I-wanted-to-help-you -: with-the-flower-shop. I've-made-it-worse. VANESSA: Actually #it's-completely-closed-down. BARRY: I-thought-maybe-you-were-remodeling. -: But-I-have-another-idea #and-it's greater-than-my-previous-ideas-combined. VANESSA: I-don't-want-to-hear-it! BARRY: All-right #they-have-the-roses #the-roses-have-the-pollen. -: I-know-every-bee #plant and-flower-bud-in-this-park. -: All-we-gotta-do-is-get-what-they've-got back-here-with-what-we've-got. -: --Bees. VANESSA: --Park. BARRY: --Pollen! VANESSA: --Flowers. BARRY: --Re-pollination! VANESSA: --Across-the-nation! -: Tournament-of-Roses #Pasadena #California. -: They've-got-nothing but-flowers #floats-and-cotton-candy. -: Security-will-be-tight. BARRY: I-have-an-idea. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Vanessa-is-about-to-board-a-plane-which-has-all-the Roses-on-board. VANESSA: Vanessa-Bloome #FTD. (Holds-out-badge) -: Official-floral-business.-It's-real. SECURITY-GUARD: Sorry #ma'am.-Nice-brooch. =VANESSA== Thank-you.-It-was-a-gift. (Barry-is-revealed-to-be-hiding-inside-the-brooch) (Flash-back-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-discussing-their-plan) BARRY: Once-inside #we-just-pick-the-right-float. VANESSA: How-about-The-Princess-and-the-Pea? -: I-could-be-the-princess #and-you-could-be-the-pea! BARRY: Yes #I-got-it. -: --Where-should-I-sit? GUARD: --What-are-you? BARRY: --I-believe-I'm-the-pea. GUARD: --The-pea? VANESSA: It-goes-under-the-mattresses. GUARD: --Not-in-this-fairy-tale #sweetheart. --I'm-getting-the-marshal. VANESSA: You-do-that! This-whole-parade-is-a-fiasco! -: Let's-see-what-this-baby'll-do. (Vanessa-drives-the-float-through-traffic) GUARD: Hey #what-are-you-doing?! BARRY== Then-all-we-do is-blend-in-with-traffic... -: ...without-arousing-suspicion. -: Once-at-the-airport #there's-no-stopping-us. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-about-to-get-on-a-plane) SECURITY-GUARD: Stop!-Security. -: --You-and-your-insect-pack-your-float? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Has-it-been in-your-possession-the-entire-time? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Would-you-remove-your-shoes? (To-Barry) --Remove-your-stinger. BARRY: --It's-part-of-me. SECURITY-GUARD: I-know.-Just-having-some-fun. Enjoy-your-flight. (Barry-plotting-with-Vanessa) BARRY: Then-if-we're-lucky #we'll-have just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-flying-on-the-plane) Can-you-believe-how-lucky-we-are?-We have-just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job! VANESSA: I-think-this-is-gonna-work. BARRY: It's-got-to-work. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: (On-intercom) Attention #passengers #this-is-Captain-Scott. -: We-have-a-bit-of-bad-weather in-New-York. -: It-looks-like-we'll-experience a-couple-hours-delay. VANESSA: Barry #these-are-cut-flowers with-no-water.-They'll-never-make-it. BARRY: I-gotta-get-up-there and-talk-to-them. VANESSA== Be-careful. (Barry-flies-right-outside-the-cockpit-door) BARRY: Can-I-get-help with-the-Sky-Mall-magazine? I'd-like-to-order-the-talking inflatable-nose-and-ear-hair-trimmer. (The-flight-attendant-opens-the-door-and-walks-out-and-Barry-flies-into-the cockpit-unseen) BARRY: Captain #I'm-in-a-real-situation. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: --What'd-you-say #Hal? CO-PILOT-HAL: --Nothing. (Scott-notices-Barry-and-freaks-out) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No #no #no #Don't-freak-out!-My-entire-species... (Captain-Scott-gets-out-of-his-seat-and-tries-to-suck-Barry-into-a-handheld vacuum) HAL: (To-Scott) What-are-you-doing? (Barry-lands-on-Hals-hair-but-Scott-sees-him.-He-tries-to-suck-up-Barry-but instead-he-sucks-up-Hals-toupee) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: --Wait-a-minute!-I'm-an-attorney! HAL: (Hal-doesn't-know-Barry-is-on-his-head) --Who's-an-attorney? CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Don't-move. (Scott-hits-Hal-in-the-face-with-the-vacuum-in-an-attempt-to-hit-Barry.-Hal is-knocked-out-and-he-falls-on-the-life-raft-button-which-launches-an infalatable-boat-into-Scott #who-gets-knocked-out-and-falls-to-the-floor. They-are-both-uncounscious.) BARRY: (To-himself) Oh #Barry. BARRY: (On-intercom #with-a-Southern-accent) Good-afternoon #passengers. This-is-your-captain. -: Would-a-Miss-Vanessa-Bloome-in-24B please-report-to-the-cockpit? (Vanessa-looks-confused) (Normal-accent) ...And-please-hurry! (Vanessa-opens-the-door-and-sees-the-life-raft-and-the-uncounscious-pilots) VANESSA: What-happened-here? BARRY: I-tried-to-talk-to-them #but then-there-was-a-DustBuster #a-toupee #a-life-raft-exploded. -: Now-one's-bald #one's-in-a-boat #and-they're-both-unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is-that-another-bee-joke? BARRY: --No! -: No-one's-flying-the-plane! BUD-DITCHWATER: (Through-radio-on-plane) This-is-JFK-control-tower #Flight-356. What's-your-status? VANESSA: This-is-Vanessa-Bloome. I'm-a-florist-from-New-York. BUD: Where's-the-pilot? VANESSA: He's-unconscious #and-so-is-the-copilot. BUD: Not-good.-Does-anyone-onboard have-flight-experience? BARRY: As-a-matter-of-fact #there-is. BUD: --Who's-that? BARRY: --Barry-Benson. BUD: From-the-honey-trial?!-Oh #great. BARRY: Vanessa #this-is-nothing-more than-a-big-metal-bee. -: It's-got-giant-wings #huge-engines. VANESSA: I-can't-fly-a-plane. BARRY: --Why-not?-Isn't-John-Travolta-a-pilot? VANESSA: --Yes. BARRY: How-hard-could-it-be? (Vanessa-sits-down-and-flies-for-a-little-bit-but-we-see-lightning-clouds outside-the-window) VANESSA: Wait #Barry! We're-headed-into-some-lightning. (An-ominous-lightning-storm-looms-in-front-of-the-plane) (We-are-now-watching-the-Bee-News) BOB-BUMBLE: This-is-Bob-Bumble.-We-have-some late-breaking-news-from-JFK-Airport #: where-a-suspenseful-scene is-developing. -: Barry-Benson #fresh-from-his-legal-victory... ADAM: That's-Barry! BOB-BUMBLE: ...is-attempting-to-land-a-plane #loaded-with-people #flowers -: and-an-incapacitated-flight-crew. JANET #MARTIN #UNCLE-CAR-AND-ADAM: Flowers?! (The-scene-switches-to-the-human-news) REPORTER: (Talking-with-Bob-Bumble) We-have-a-storm-in-the-area and-two-individuals-at-the-controls -: with-absolutely-no-flight-experience. BOB-BUMBLE: Just-a-minute. There's-a-bee-on-that-plane. BUD: I'm-quite-familiar-with-Mr.-Benson and-his-no-account-compadres. -: They've-done-enough-damage. REPORTER: But-isn't-he-your-only-hope? BUD: Technically #a-bee shouldn't-be-able-to-fly-at-all. -: Their-wings-are-too-small... BARRY: (Through-radio) Haven't-we-heard-this-a-million-times? -: 'The-surface-area-of-the-wings and-body-mass-make-no-sense.'... BOB-BUMBLE: --Get-this-on-the-air! BEE: --Got-it. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --Stand-by. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --We're-going-live! BARRY: (Through-radio-on-TV) ...The-way-we-work-may-be-a-mystery-to-you. -: Making-honey-takes-a-lot-of-bees doing-a-lot-of-small-jobs. -: But-let-me-tell-you-about-a-small-job. -: If-you-do-it-well #it-makes-a-big-difference. -: More-than-we-realized. To-us #to-everyone. -: That's-why-I-want-to-get-bees back-to-working-together. -: That's-the-bee-way! We're-not-made-of-Jell-O. -: We-get-behind-a-fellow. -: --Black-and-yellow! BEES: --Hello! (The-scene-switches-and-Barry-is-teaching-Vanessa-how-to-fly) BARRY: Left #right #down #hover. VANESSA: --Hover? BARRY: --Forget-hover. VANESSA: This-isn't-so-hard. (Pretending-to-honk-the-horn) Beep-beep!-Beep-beep! (A-Lightning-bolt-hits-the-plane-and-autopilot-turns-off) Barry #what-happened?! BARRY: Wait #I-think-we-were on-autopilot-the-whole-time. VANESSA: --That-may-have-been-helping-me. BARRY: --And-now-we're-not! VANESSA: So-it-turns-out-I-cannot-fly-a-plane. (The-plane-plummets-but-we-see-Lou-Lu-Duva-and-the-Pollen-Jocks #along-with multiple-other-bees-flying-towards-the-plane) Lou-Lu-DUva: All-of-you #let's-get behind-this-fellow!-Move-it-out! -: Move-out! (The-scene-switches-back-to-Vanessa-and-Barry-in-the-plane) BARRY: Our-only-chance-is-if-I-do-what-I'd-do #you-copy-me-with-the-wings-of-the-plane! (Barry-sticks-out-his-arms-like-an-airplane-and-flys-in-front-of-Vanessa's face) VANESSA: Don't-have-to-yell. BARRY: I'm-not-yelling! We're-in-a-lot-of-trouble. VANESSA: It's-very-hard-to-concentrate with-that-panicky-tone-in-your-voice! BARRY: It's-not-a-tone.-I'm-panicking! VANESSA: I-can't-do-this! (Barry-slaps-Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa #pull-yourself-together. You-have-to-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: (Slaps-Barry) You-snap-out-of-it. BARRY: (Slaps-Vanessa) -: You-snap-out-of-it. VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! (We-see-that-all-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-under-the-plane) VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --Hold-it! BARRY: --Why?-Come-on #it's-my-turn. VANESSA: How-is-the-plane-flying? (The-plane-is-now-safely-flying) VANESSA: I-don't-know. (Barry's-antennae-rings-like-a-phone.-Barry-picks-up) BARRY: Hello? LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') Benson #got-any-flowers for-a-happy-occasion-in-there? (All-of-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-carrying-the-plane) BARRY: The-Pollen-Jocks! -: They-do-get-behind-a-fellow. LOU-LU-DUVA: --Black-and-yellow. POLLEN-JOCKS: --Hello. LOU-LU-DUVA: All-right #let's-drop-this-tin-can on-the-blacktop. BARRY: Where?-I-can't-see-anything.-Can-you? VANESSA: No #nothing.-It's-all-cloudy. -: Come-on.-You-got-to-think-bee #Barry. BARRY: --Thinking-bee. --Thinking-bee. (On-the-runway-there-are-millions-of-bees-laying-on-their-backs) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: Wait-a-minute. I-think-I'm-feeling-something. VANESSA: --What? BARRY: --I-don't-know.-It's-strong #pulling-me. -: Like-a-27-million-year-old-instinct. -: Bring-the-nose-down. BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! CONTROL-TOWER-OPERATOR: --What-in-the-world-is-on-the-tarmac? BUD: --Get-some-lights-on-that! (It-is-revealed-that-all-the-bees-are-organized-into-a-giant-pulsating flower-formation) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Vanessa #aim-for-the-flower. VANESSA: --OK. BARRY: Out-the-engines.-We're-going-in on-bee-power.-Ready #boys? LOU-LU-DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good.-Good.-Easy #now.-That's-it. -: Land-on-that-flower! -: Ready?-Full-reverse! -: Spin-it-around! (The-plane's-nose-is-pointed-at-a-flower-painted-on-a-nearby-plane) --Not-that-flower!-The-other-one! VANESSA: --Which-one? BARRY: --That-flower. (The-plane-is-now-pointed-at-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt.-He-freaks-out and-tries-to-take-a-picture-of-the-plane) VANESSA: --I'm-aiming-at-the-flower! BARRY: That's-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt. I-mean-the-giant-pulsating-flower made-of-millions-of-bees! (The-plane-hovers-over-the-bee-flower) -: Pull-forward.-Nose-down.-Tail-up. -: Rotate-around-it. VANESSA: --This-is-insane #Barry! BARRY: --This's-the-only-way-I-know-how-to-fly. BUD: Am-I-koo-koo-kachoo #or-is-this-plane flying-in-an-insect-like-pattern? (The-plane-is-unrealistically-hovering-and-spinning-over-the-bee-flower) BARRY: Get-your-nose-in-there.-Don't-be-afraid. Smell-it.-Full-reverse! -: Just-drop-it.-Be-a-part-of-it. -: Aim-for-the-center! -: Now-drop-it-in!-Drop-it-in #woman! -: Come-on #already. (The-bees-scatter-and-the-plane-safely-lands) VANESSA: Barry #we-did-it! You-taught-me-how-to-fly! BARRY: --Yes! (Vanessa-is-about-to-high-five-Barry) No-high-five! VANESSA: --Right. ADAM: Barry #it-worked! Did-you-see-the-giant-flower? BARRY: What-giant-flower?-Where?-Of-course I-saw-the-flower!-That-was-genius! ADAM: --Thank-you. BARRY: --But-we're-not-done-yet. -: Listen #everyone! -: This-runway-is-covered with-the-last-pollen -: from-the-last-flowers available-anywhere-on-Earth. -: That-means-this-is-our-last-chance. -: We're-the-only-ones-who-make-honey #pollinate-flowers-and-dress-like-this. -: If-we're-gonna-survive-as-a-species #this-is-our-moment!-What-do-you-say? -: Are-we-going-to-be-bees #or-just Museum-of-Natural-History-keychains? BEES: We're-bees! BEE-WHO-LIKES-KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then-follow-me!-Except-Keychain. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Hold-on #Barry.-Here. -: You've-earned-this. BARRY: Yeah! -: I'm-a-Pollen-Jock!-And-it's-a-perfect fit.-All-I-gotta-do-are-the-sleeves. (The-Pollen-Jocks-throw-Barry-a-nectar-collecting-gun.-Barry-catches-it) Oh #yeah. JANET: That's-our-Barry. (Barry-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-get-pollen-from-the-flowers-on-the-plane) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-over-NYC) -: (Barry-pollinates-the-flowers-in-Vanessa's-shop-and-then-heads-to-Central Park) BOY-IN-PARK: Mom!-The-bees-are-back! ADAM: (Putting-on-his-Krelman-hat) If-anybody-needs to-make-a-call #now's-the-time. -: I-got-a-feeling-we'll-be working-late-tonight! (The-bee-honey-factories-are-back-up-and-running) (Meanwhile-at-Vanessa's-shop) VANESSA: (To-customer) Here's-your-change.-Have-a-great afternoon!-Can-I-help-who's-next? -: Would-you-like-some-honey-with-that? It-is-bee-approved.-Don't-forget-these. (There-is-a-room-in-the-shop-where-Barry-does-legal-work-for-other-animals. He-is-currently-talking-with-a-Cow) COW: Milk #cream #cheese #it's-all-me. And-I-don't-see-a-nickel! -: Sometimes-I-just-feel like-a-piece-of-meat! BARRY: I-had-no-idea. VANESSA: Barry #I'm-sorry. Have-you-got-a-moment? BARRY: Would-you-excuse-me? My-mosquito-associate-will-help-you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry-I'm-late. COW: He's-a-lawyer-too? MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am #I-was-already-a-blood-sucking-parasite. All-I-needed-was-a-briefcase. VANESSA: Have-a-great-afternoon! -: Barry #I-just-got-this-huge-tulip-order #and-I-can't-get-them-anywhere. BARRY: No-problem #Vannie. Just-leave-it-to-me. VANESSA: You're-a-lifesaver #Barry. Can-I-help-who's-next? BARRY: All-right #scramble #jocks! It's-time-to-fly. VANESSA: Thank-you #Barry! (Ken-walks-by-on-the-sidewalk-and-sees-the-'bee-approved-honey'-in Vanessa's-shop) KEN: That-bee-is-living-my-life!! ANDY: Let-it-go #Kenny. KEN: --When-will-this-nightmare-end?! ANDY: --Let-it-all-go. BARRY: --Beautiful-day-to-fly. POLLEN-JOCK: --Sure-is. BARRY: Between-you-and-me #I-was-dying-to-get-out-of-that-office. (Barry-recreates-the-scene-near-the-beginning-of-the-movie-where-he-flies through-the-box-kite.-The-movie-fades-to-black-and-the-credits-being) [--after-credits;-No-scene-can-be-seen-but-the-characters-can-be-heard talking-over-the-credits--] You-have-got to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend! -: --Thinking-bee! --Me? BARRY: (Talking-over-singer) Hold-it.-Let's-just-stop for-a-second.-Hold-it. -: I'm-sorry.-I'm-sorry #everyone. Can-we-stop-here? SINGER: Oh #BarryBARRY: I'm-not-making-a-major-life-decision during-a-production-number! SINGER: All-right.-Take-ten #everybody. Wrap-it-up #guys. BARRY: I-had-virtually-no-rehearsal-for-that.#scriptscombeemoviebyjerryseinfeldnarratorblackscreenwithtextthesoundofbuzzingbeescanbeheardaccordingtoallknownlawsofaviation #thereisnowayabeeshouldbeabletoflyitswingsaretoosmalltogetitsfatlittlebodyoffthegroundthebee #ofcourse #fliesanywaybecausebeesdontcarewhathumansthinkisimpossiblebarrybensonbarryispickingoutashirtyellow #blackyellow #blackooh -
ok here we go
#Scripts.com Bee-Movie By-Jerry-Seinfeld NARRATOR: (Black-screen-with-text;-The-sound-of-buzzing-bees-can-be-heard) According-to-all-known-laws of-aviation #: there-is-no-way-a-bee should-be-able-to-fly. -: Its-wings-are-too-small-to-get its-fat-little-body-off-the-ground. -: The-bee #of-course #flies-anyway -: because-bees-don't-care what-humans-think-is-impossible. BARRY-BENSON: (Barry-is-picking-out-a-shirt) Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. -: Ooh #black-and-yellow! Let's-shake-it-up-a-little. JANET-BENSON: Barry!-Breakfast-is-ready! BARRY: Coming! -: Hang-on-a-second. (Barry-uses-his-antenna-like-a-phone) -: Hello? ADAM-FLAYMAN: (Through-phone) --Barry? BARRY: --Adam? ADAM: --Can-you-believe-this-is-happening? BARRY: --I-can't.-I'll-pick-you-up. (Barry-flies-down-the-stairs) -: MARTIN-BENSON: Looking-sharp. JANET: Use-the-stairs.-Your-father paid-good-money-for-those. BARRY: Sorry.-I'm-excited. MARTIN: Here's-the-graduate. We're-very-proud-of-you #son. -: A-perfect-report-card #all-B's. JANET: Very-proud. (Rubs-Barry's-hair) BARRY= Ma!-I-got-a-thing-going-here. JANET: --You-got-lint-on-your-fuzz. BARRY: --Ow!-That's-me! JANET: --Wave-to-us!-We'll-be-in-row-118 #000. --Bye! (Barry-flies-out-the-door) JANET: Barry #I-told-you #stop-flying-in-the-house! (Barry-drives-through-the-hive #and-is-waved-at-by-Adam-who-is-reading-a newspaper) BARRY== --Hey #Adam. ADAM: --Hey #Barry. (Adam-gets-in-Barry's-car) -: --Is-that-fuzz-gel? BARRY: --A-little.-Special-day #graduation. ADAM: Never-thought-I'd-make-it. (Barry-pulls-away-from-the-house-and-continues-driving) BARRY: Three-days-grade-school #three-days-high-school... ADAM: Those-were-awkward. BARRY: Three-days-college.-I'm-glad-I-took a-day-and-hitchhiked-around-the-hive. ADAM== You-did-come-back-different. (Barry-and-Adam-pass-by-Artie #who-is-jogging) ARTIE: --Hi #Barry! BARRY: --Artie #growing-a-mustache?-Looks-good. ADAM: --Hear-about-Frankie? BARRY: --Yeah. ADAM== --You-going-to-the-funeral? BARRY: --No #I'm-not-going-to-his-funeral. -: Everybody-knows #sting-someone #you-die. -: Don't-waste-it-on-a-squirrel. Such-a-hothead. ADAM: I-guess-he-could-have just-gotten-out-of-the-way. (The-car-does-a-barrel-roll-on-the-loop-shaped-bridge-and-lands-on-the highway) -: I-love-this-incorporating an-amusement-park-into-our-regular-day. BARRY: I-guess-that's-why-they-say-we-don't-need-vacations. (Barry-parallel-parks-the-car-and-together-they-fly-over-the-graduating students) Boy #quite-a-bit-of-pomp... under-the-circumstances. (Barry-and-Adam-sit-down-and-put-on-their-hats) -: --Well #Adam #today-we-are-men. ADAM: --We-are! BARRY= --Bee-men. =ADAM= --Amen! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry-and-Adam-both-have-a-happy-spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students #faculty #distinguished-bees #: please-welcome-Dean-Buzzwell. DEAN-BUZZWELL: Welcome #New-Hive-Oity graduating-class-of... -: ...9: -: That-concludes-our-ceremonies. -: And-begins-your-career at-Honex-Industries! ADAM: Will-we-pick-our-job-today? (Adam-and-Barry-get-into-a-tour-bus) BARRY= I-heard-it's-just-orientation. (Tour-buses-rise-out-of-the-ground-and-the-students-are-automatically loaded-into-the-buses) TOUR-GUIDE: Heads-up!-Here-we-go. ANNOUNCER: Keep-your-hands-and-antennas inside-the-tram-at-all-times. BARRY: --Wonder-what-it'll-be-like? ADAM: --A-little-scary. TOUR-GUIDE== Welcome-to-Honex #a-division-of-Honesco -: and-a-part-of-the-Hexagon-Group. Barry: This-is-it! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The-bus-drives-down-a-road-an-on-either-side-are-the-Bee's-massive complicated-Honey-making-machines) TOUR-GUIDE: We-know-that-you #as-a-bee #have-worked-your-whole-life -: to-get-to-the-point-where-you can-work-for-your-whole-life. -: Honey-begins-when-our-valiant-Pollen Jocks-bring-the-nectar-to-the-hive. -: Our-top-secret-formula -: is-automatically-color-corrected #scent-adjusted-and-bubble-contoured -: into-this-soothing-sweet-syrup -: with-its-distinctive golden-glow-you-know-as... EVERYONE-ON-BUS: Honey! (The-guide-has-been-collecting-honey-into-a-bottle-and-she-throws-it-into the-crowd-on-the-bus-and-it-is-caught-by-a-girl-in-the-back) ADAM: --That-girl-was-hot. BARRY: --She's-my-cousin! ADAM== --She-is? BARRY: --Yes #we're-all-cousins. ADAM: --Right.-You're-right. TOUR-GUIDE: --At-Honex #we-constantly-strive -: to-improve-every-aspect of-bee-existence. -: These-bees-are-stress-testing a-new-helmet-technology. (The-bus-passes-by-a-Bee-wearing-a-helmet-who-is-being-smashed-into-the ground-with-fly-swatters #newspapers-and-boots.-He-lifts-a-thumbs-up-but you-can-hear-him-groan) -: ADAM== --What-do-you-think-he-makes? BARRY: --Not-enough. TOUR-GUIDE: Here-we-have-our-latest-advancement #the-Krelman. (They-pass-by-a-turning-wheel-with-Bees-standing-on-pegs #who-are-each wearing-a-finger-shaped-hat) Barry: --Wow #What-does-that-do? TOUR-GUIDE: --Catches-that-little-strand-of-honey -: that-hangs-after-you-pour-it. Saves-us-millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can-anyone-work-on-the-Krelman? TOUR-GUIDE: Of-course.-Most-bee-jobs-are small-ones. But-bees-know-that-every-small-job #if-it's-done-well #means-a-lot. -: But-choose-carefully -: because-you'll-stay-in-the-job you-pick-for-the-rest-of-your-life. (Everyone-claps-except-for-Barry) BARRY: The-same-job-the-rest-of-your-life? I-didn't-know-that. ADAM: What's-the-difference? TOUR-GUIDE: You'll-be-happy-to-know-that-bees #as-a-species #haven't-had-one-day-off -: in-27-million-years. BARRY: (Upset) So-you'll-just-work-us-to-death? -: We'll-sure-try. (Everyone-on-the-bus-laughs-except-Barry.-Barry-and-Adam-are-walking-back home-together) ADAM: Wow!-That-blew-my-mind! BARRY: 'What's-the-difference?' How-can-you-say-that? -: One-job-forever? That's-an-insane-choice-to-have-to-make. ADAM: I'm-relieved.-Now-we-only-have to-make-one-decision-in-life. BARRY: But #Adam #how-could-they never-have-told-us-that? ADAM: Why-would-you-question-anything? We're-bees. -: We're-the-most-perfectly functioning-society-on-Earth. BARRY: You-ever-think-maybe-things work-a-little-too-well-here? ADAM: Like-what?-Give-me-one-example. (Barry-and-Adam-stop-walking-and-it-is-revealed-to-the-audience-that hundreds-of-cars-are-speeding-by-and-narrowly-missing-them-in-perfect unison) BARRY: I-don't-know.-But-you-know what-I'm-talking-about. ANNOUNCER: Please-clear-the-gate. Royal-Nectar-Force-on-approach. BARRY: Wait-a-second.-Check-it-out. (The-Pollen-jocks-fly-in #circle-around-and-landing-in-line) -: --Hey #those-are-Pollen-Jocks! ADAM: --Wow. -: I've-never-seen-them-this-close. BARRY: They-know-what-it's-like outside-the-hive. ADAM: Yeah #but-some-don't-come-back. GIRL-BEES: --Hey #Jocks! --Hi #Jocks! (The-Pollen-Jocks-hook-up-their-backpacks-to-machines-that-pump-the-nectar to-trucks #which-drive-away) LOU-LO-DUVA: You-guys-did-great! -: You're-monsters! You're-sky-freaks! I-love-it! (Punching-the-Pollen-Jocks-in-joy) I-love-it! ADAM: --I-wonder-where-they-were. BARRY: --I-don't-know. -: Their-day's-not-planned. -: Outside-the-hive #flying-who-knows where #doing-who-knows-what. -: You-can't-just-decide-to-be-a-Pollen Jock.-You-have-to-be-bred-for-that. ADAM== Right. (Barry-and-Adam-are-covered-in-some-pollen-that-floated-off-of-the-Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look-at-that.-That's-more-pollen than-you-and-I-will-see-in-a-lifetime. ADAM: It's-just-a-status-symbol. Bees-make-too-much-of-it. BARRY: Perhaps.-Unless-you're-wearing-it and-the-ladies-see-you-wearing-it. (Barry-waves-at-2-girls-standing-a-little-away-from-them) ADAM== Those-ladies? Aren't-they-our-cousins-too? BARRY: Distant.-Distant. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Look-at-these-two. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Couple-of-Hive-Harrys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --Let's-have-fun-with-them. GIRL-BEE-#1: It-must-be-dangerous being-a-Pollen-Jock. BARRY: Yeah.-Once-a-bear-pinned-me against-a-mushroom! -: He-had-a-paw-on-my-throat #and-with-the-other #he-was-slapping-me! (Slaps-Adam-with-his-hand-to-represent-his-scenario) GIRL-BEE-#2: --Oh #my! BARRY: --I-never-thought-I'd-knock-him-out. GIRL-BEE-#1: (Looking-at-Adam) What-were-you-doing-during-this? ADAM: Obviously-I-was-trying-to-alert-the-authorities. BARRY: I-can-autograph-that. (The-pollen-jocks-walk-up-to-Barry-and-Adam #they-pretend-that-Barry-and Adam-really-are-pollen-jocks.) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: A-little-gusty-out-there-today #wasn't-it #comrades? BARRY: Yeah.-Gusty. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-hitting-a-sunflower-patch six-miles-from-here-tomorrow. BARRY: --Six-miles #huh? ADAM: --Barry! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: A-puddle-jump-for-us #but-maybe-you're-not-up-for-it. BARRY: --Maybe-I-am. ADAM: --You-are-not! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-going-0900-at-J-Gate. -: What-do-you-think #buzzy-boy? Are-you-bee-enough? BARRY: I-might-be.-It-all-depends on-what-0900-means. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-looking-out-on-the-hive-city-from-his-balcony-at night) MARTIN: Hey #Honex! BARRY: Dad #you-surprised-me. MARTIN: You-decide-what-you're-interested-in? BARRY: --Well #there's-a-lot-of-choices. --But-you-only-get-one. -: Do-you-ever-get-bored doing-the-same-job-every-day? MARTIN: Son #let-me-tell-you-about-stirring. -: You-grab-that-stick #and-you-just move-it-around #and-you-stir-it-around. -: You-get-yourself-into-a-rhythm. It's-a-beautiful-thing. BARRY: You-know #Dad #the-more-I-think-about-it #: maybe-the-honey-field just-isn't-right-for-me. MARTIN: You-were-thinking-of-what #making-balloon-animals? -: That's-a-bad-job for-a-guy-with-a-stinger. -: Janet #your-son's-not-sure he-wants-to-go-into-honey! JANET: --Barry #you-are-so-funny-sometimes. BARRY: --I'm-not-trying-to-be-funny. MARTIN: You're-not-funny!-You're-going into-honey.-Our-son #the-stirrer! JANET: --You're-gonna-be-a-stirrer? BARRY: --No-one's-listening-to-me! MARTIN: Wait-till-you-see-the-sticks-I-have. BARRY: I-could-say-anything-right-now. I'm-gonna-get-an-ant-tattoo! (Barry's-parents-don't-listen-to-him-and-continue-to-ramble-on) MARTIN: Let's-open-some-honey-and-celebrate! BARRY: Maybe-I'll-pierce-my-thorax. Shave-my-antennae. -: Shack-up-with-a-grasshopper.-Get a-gold-tooth-and-call-everybody-'dawg'! JANET: I'm-so-proud. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-and-Adam-waiting-in-line-to-get-a-job) ADAM: --We're-starting-work-today! BARRY: --Today's-the-day. ADAM: Come-on!-All-the-good-jobs will-be-gone. BARRY: Yeah #right. JOB-LISTER: Pollen-counting #stunt-bee #pouring #stirrer #front-desk #hair-removal... BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Is-it-still-available? JOB-LISTER: --Hang-on.-Two-left! -: One-of-them's-yours!-Congratulations! Step-to-the-side. ADAM: --What'd-you-get? BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Picking-crud-out.-Stellar! (He-walks-away) ADAM: Wow! JOB-LISTER: Couple-of-newbies? ADAM: Yes #sir!-Our-first-day!-We-are-ready! JOB-LISTER: Make-your-choice. (Adam-and-Barry-look-up-at-the-job-board.-There-are-hundreds-of-constantly changing-panels-that-contain-available-or-unavailable-jobs.-It-looks-very confusing) ADAM: --You-want-to-go-first? BARRY: --No #you-go. ADAM: Oh #my.-What's-available? JOB-LISTER: Restroom-attendant's-open #not-for-the-reason-you-think. ADAM: --Any-chance-of-getting-the-Krelman? JOB-LISTER: --Sure #you're-on. (Puts-the-Krelman-finger-hat-on-Adam's-head) (Suddenly-the-sign-for-Krelman-closes-out) -: I'm-sorry #the-Krelman-just-closed-out. (Takes-Adam's-hat-off) Wax-monkey's-always-open. ADAM: The-Krelman-opened-up-again. -: What-happened? JOB-LISTER: A-bee-died.-Makes-an-opening.-See? He's-dead.-Another-dead-one. -: Deady.-Deadified.-Two-more-dead. -: Dead-from-the-neck-up. Dead-from-the-neck-down.-That's-life! ADAM: Oh #this-is-so-hard! (Barry-remembers-what-the-Pollen-Jock-offered-him-and-he-flies-off) Heating #cooling #stunt-bee #pourer #stirrer #: humming #inspector-number-seven #lint-coordinator #stripe-supervisor #: mite-wrangler.-Barry #what do-you-think-I-should...-Barry? (Adam-turns-around-and-sees-Barry-flying-away) -: Barry! POLLEN-JOCK: All-right #we've-got-the-sunflower-patch in-quadrant-nine... ADAM: (Through-phone) What-happened-to-you? Where-are-you? BARRY: --I'm-going-out. ADAM: --Out?-Out-where? BARRY: --Out-there. ADAM: --Oh #no! BARRY: I-have-to #before-I-go to-work-for-the-rest-of-my-life. ADAM: You're-gonna-die!-You're-crazy! (Barry-hangs-up) Hello? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Another-call-coming-in. -: If-anyone's-feeling-brave #there's-a-Korean-deli-on-83rd -: that-gets-their-roses-today. BARRY: Hey #guys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1-== --Look-at-that. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Isn't-that-the-kid-we-saw-yesterday? LOU-LO-DUVA: Hold-it #son #flight-deck's-restricted. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: It's-OK #Lou.-We're-gonna-take-him-up. (Puts-hand-on-Barry's-shoulder) LOU-LO-DUVA: (To-Barry)-Really?-Feeling-lucky #are-you? BEE-WITH-CLIPBOARD: (To-Barry)-Sign-here #here.-Just-initial-that. -: --Thank-you. LOU-LO-DUVA: --OK. -: You-got-a-rain-advisory-today #: and-as-you-all-know #bees-cannot-fly-in-rain. -: So-be-careful.-As-always #watch-your-brooms #: hockey-sticks #dogs #birds #bears-and-bats. -: Also #I-got-a-couple-of-reports of-root-beer-being-poured-on-us. -: Murphy's-in-a-home-because-of-it #babbling-like-a-cicada! BARRY: --That's-awful. LOU-LO-DUVA: (Still-talking-through-megaphone) --And-a-reminder-for-you-rookies #: bee-law-number-one #absolutely-no-talking-to-humans! -: All-right #launch-positions! POLLEN-JOCKS: (The-Pollen-Jocks-run-into-formation) -: Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz! LOU-LU-DUVA: Black-and-yellow! POLLEN-JOCKS: Hello! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (To-Barry)You-ready-for-this #hot-shot? BARRY: Yeah.-Yeah #bring-it-on. POLLEN-JOCK's: Wind #check. -: --Antennae #check. --Nectar-pack #check. -: --Wings #check. --Stinger #check. BARRY: Scared-out-of-my-shorts #check. LOU-LO-DUVA: OK #ladies #: let's-move-it-out! -: Pound-those-petunias #you-striped-stem-suckers! -: All-of-you #drain-those-flowers! (The-pollen-jocks-fly-out-of-the-hive) BARRY: Wow!-I'm-out! -: I-can't-believe-I'm-out! -: So-blue. -: I-feel-so-fast-and-free! -: Box-kite! (Barry-flies-through-the-kite) -: Wow! -: Flowers! (A-pollen-jock-puts-on-some-high-tech-goggles-that-shows-flowers-similar-to heat-sink-goggles.) POLLEN-JOCK: This-is-Blue-Leader. We-have-roses-visual. -: Bring-it-around-30-degrees-and-hold. -: Roses! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: 30-degrees #roger.-Bringing-it-around. -: Stand-to-the-side #kid. It's-got-a-bit-of-a-kick. (The-pollen-jock-fires-a-high-tech-gun-at-the-flower #shooting-tubes-that suck-up-the-nectar-from-the-flower-and-collects-it-into-a-pouch-on-the-gun) BARRY: That-is-one-nectar-collector! POLLEN-JOCK-#1== --Ever-see-pollination-up-close? BARRY: --No #sir. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Barry-and-the-Pollen-jock-fly-over-the-field #the-pollen-jock-sprinkles pollen-as-he-goes) -: I-pick-up-some-pollen-here #sprinkle-it over-here.-Maybe-a-dash-over-there #: a-pinch-on-that-one. See-that?-It's-a-little-bit-of-magic. BARRY: That's-amazing.-Why-do-we-do-that? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: That's-pollen-power.-More-pollen #more flowers #more-nectar #more-honey-for-us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: I'm-picking-up-a-lot-of-bright-yellow. could-be-daisies.-Don't-we-need-those? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Copy-that-visual. -: Wait.-One-of-these-flowers seems-to-be-on-the-move. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Say-again?-You're-reporting a-moving-flower? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Affirmative. (The-Pollen-jocks-land-near-the-'flowers'-which #to-the-audience-are obviously-just-tennis-balls) KEN: (In-the-distance)-That-was-on-the-line! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: This-is-the-coolest.-What-is-it? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-know #but-I'm-loving-this-color. -: It-smells-good. Not-like-a-flower #but-I-like-it. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Yeah #fuzzy. (Sticks-his-hand-on-the-ball-but-it-gets-stuck) POLLEN-JOCK-#3== Chemical-y. (The-pollen-jock-finally-gets-his-hand-free-from-the-tennis-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Careful #guys.-It's-a-little-grabby. (The-pollen-jocks-turn-around-and-see-Barry-lying-his-entire-body-on-top-of one-of-the-tennis-balls) POLLEN-JOCK-#2: My-sweet-lord-of-bees! POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Candy-brain #get-off-there! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Pointing-upwards) Problem! (A-human-hand-reaches-down-and-grabs-the-tennis-ball-that-Barry-is-stuck to) BARRY: --Guys! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --This-could-be-bad. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Affirmative. (Vanessa-Bloome-starts-bouncing-the-tennis-ball #not-knowing-Barry-is-stick to-it) BARRY== Very-close. -: Gonna-hurt. -: Mama's-little-boy. (Barry-is-being-hit-back-and-forth-by-two-humans-playing-tennis.-He-is still-stuck-to-the-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: You-are-way-out-of-position #rookie! KEN: Coming-in-at-you-like-a-MISSILE! (Barry-flies-past-the-pollen-jocks #still-stuck-to-the-ball) BARRY: (In-slow-motion) Help-me! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-think-these-are-flowers. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: --Should-we-tell-him? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --I-think-he-knows. BARRY: What-is-this?! KEN: Match-point! -: You-can-start-packing-up #honey #because-you're-about-to-EAT-IT! (A-pollen-jock-coughs-which-confused-Ken-and-he-hits-the-ball-the-wrong-way with-Barry-stuck-to-it-and-it-goes-flying-into-the-city) BARRY: Yowser! (Barry-bounces-around-town-and-gets-stuck-in-the-engine-of-a-car.-He-flies into-the-air-conditioner-and-sees-a-bug-that-was-frozen-in-there) BARRY: Ew #gross. (The-man-driving-the-car-turns-on-the-air-conditioner-which-blows-Barry into-the-car) GIRL-IN-CAR: There's-a-bee-in-the-car! -: --Do-something! DAD-DRIVING-CAR: --I'm-driving! BABY-GIRL: (Waving-at-Barry) --Hi #bee. (Barry-smiles-and-waves-at-the-baby-girl) GUY-IN-BACK-OF-CAR: --He's-back-here! -: He's-going-to-sting-me! GIRL-IN-CAR: Nobody-move.-If-you-don't-move #he-won't-sting-you.-Freeze! (Barry-freezes-as-well #hovering-in-the-middle-of-the-car) -: GRANDMA-IN-CAR== He-blinked! (The-grandma-whips-out-some-bee-spray-and-sprays-everywhere-in-the-car #climbing-into-the-front-seat #still-trying-to-spray-Barry) GIRL-IN-CAR: Spray-him #Granny! DAD-DRIVING-THE-CAR: What-are-you-doing?! (Barry-escapes-the-car-through-the-air-conditioner-and-is-flying-high-above the-ground #safe.) BARRY: Wow...-the-tension-level out-here-is-unbelievable. (Barry-sees-that-storm-clouds-are-gathering-and-he-can-see-rain-clouds moving-into-this-direction) -: I-gotta-get-home. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-rain-drop-hits-Barry-and-one-of-his-wings-is-damaged) -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-second-rain-drop-hits-Barry-again-and-he-spirals-downwards) Mayday!-Mayday!-Bee-going-down! (WW2-plane-sound-effects-are-played-as-he-plummets #and-he-crash-lands-on-a plant-inside-an-apartment-near-the-window) VANESSA-BLOOME: Ken #could-you-close the-window-please? KEN== Hey #check-out-my-new-resume. I-made-it-into-a-fold-out-brochure. -: You-see? (Folds-brochure-resume-out) Folds-out. (Ken-closes-the-window #trapping-Barry-inside) BARRY: Oh #no.-More-humans.-I-don't-need-this. (Barry-tries-to-fly-away-but-smashes-into-the-window-and-falls-again) -: What-was-that? (Barry-keeps-trying-to-fly-out-the-window-but-he-keeps-being-knocked-back because-the-window-is-closed) Maybe-this-time.-This-time.-This-time. This-time!-This-time!-This... -: Drapes! (Barry-taps-the-glass.-He-doesn't-understand-what-it-is) That-is-diabolical. KEN: It's-fantastic.-It's-got-all-my-special skills #even-my-top-ten-favorite-movies. ANDY: What's-number-one?-Star-Wars? KEN: Nah #I-don't-go-for-that... (Ken-makes-finger-guns-and-makes-'pew-pew-pew'-sounds-and-then-stops) -: ...kind-of-stuff. BARRY: No-wonder-we-shouldn't-talk-to-them. They're-out-of-their-minds. KEN: When-I-leave-a-job-interview #they're flabbergasted #can't-believe-what-I-say. BARRY: (Looking-at-the-light-on-the-ceiling) There's-the-sun.-Maybe-that's-a-way-out. (Starts-flying-towards-the-lightbulb) -: I-don't-remember-the-sun having-a-big-75-on-it. (Barry-hits-the-lightbulb-and-falls-into-the-dip-on-the-table-that-the humans-are-sitting-at) KEN: I-predicted-global-warming. -: I-could-feel-it-getting-hotter. At-first-I-thought-it-was-just-me. (Andy-dips-a-chip-into-the-bowl-and-scoops-up-some-dip-with-Barry-on-it-and is-about-to-put-it-in-his-mouth) -: Wait!-Stop!-Bee! (Andy-drops-the-chip-with-Barry-in-fear-and-backs-away.-All-the-humans freak-out) -: Stand-back.-These-are-winter-boots. (Ken-has-winter-boots-on-his-hands-and-he-is-about-to-smash-the-bee-but Vanessa-saves-him-last-second) VANESSA: Wait! -: Don't-kill-him! (Vanessa-puts-Barry-in-a-glass-to-protect-him) KEN: You-know-I'm-allergic-to-them! This-thing-could-kill-me! VANESSA: Why-does-his-life-have less-value-than-yours? KEN: Why-does-his-life-have-any-less-value than-mine?-Is-that-your-statement? VANESSA: I'm-just-saying-all-life-has-value.-You don't-know-what-he's-capable-of-feeling. (Vanessa-picks-up-Ken's-brochure-and-puts-it-under-the-glass-so-she-can carry-Barry-back-to-the-window.-Barry-looks-at-Vanessa-in-amazement) KEN: My-brochure! VANESSA: There-you-go #little-guy. (Vanessa-opens-the-window-and-lets-Barry-out-but-Barry-stays-back-and-is still-shocked-that-a-human-saved-his-life) KEN: I'm-not-scared-of-him. It's-an-allergic-thing. VANESSA: Put-that-on-your-resume-brochure. KEN: My-whole-face-could-puff-up. ANDY: Make-it-one-of-your-special-skills. KEN: Knocking-someone-out is-also-a-special-skill. (Ken-walks-to-the-door) Right.-Bye #Vanessa.-Thanks. -: --Vanessa #next-week?-Yogurt-night? VANESSA: --Sure #Ken.-You-know #whatever. -: (Vanessa-tries-to-close-door) KEN== --You-could-put-carob-chips-on-there. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door-but-Ken-opens-it-again) KEN: --Supposed-to-be-less-calories. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door) (Fast-forward-to-the-next-day #Barry-is-still-inside-the-house.-He-flies into-the-kitchen-where-Vanessa-is-doing-dishes) BARRY== (Talking-to-himself) I-gotta-say-something. -: She-saved-my-life. I-gotta-say-something. -: All-right #here-it-goes. (Turns-back) Nah. -: What-would-I-say? -: I-could-really-get-in-trouble. -: It's-a-bee-law. You're-not-supposed-to-talk-to-a-human. -: I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this. -: I've-got-to. (Barry-disguises-himself-as-a-character-on-a-food-can-as-Vanessa-walks-by again) -: Oh #I-can't-do-it.-Come-on! -: No.-Yes.-No. -: Do-it.-I-can't. -: How-should-I-start-it? (Barry-strikes-a-pose-and-wiggles-his-eyebrows) 'You-like-jazz?' No #that's-no-good. (Vanessa-is-about-to-walk-past-Barry) Here-she-comes!-Speak #you-fool! -: ...Hi! (Vanessa-gasps-and-drops-the-dishes-in-fright-and-notices-Barry-on-the counter) -: I'm-sorry. VANESSA: --You're-talking. BARRY: --Yes #I-know. VANESSA: (Pointing-at-Barry) You're-talking! BARRY: I'm-so-sorry. VANESSA: No #it's-OK.-It's-fine. I-know-I'm-dreaming. -: But-I-don't-recall-going-to-bed. BARRY: Well #I'm-sure-this is-very-disconcerting. VANESSA: This-is-a-bit-of-a-surprise-to-me. I-mean #you're-a-bee! BARRY: I-am.-And-I'm-not-supposed to-be-doing-this #(Pointing-to-the-living-room-where-Ken-tried-to-kill-him-last-night) but-they-were-all-trying-to-kill-me. -: And-if-it-wasn't-for-you... -: I-had-to-thank-you. It's-just-how-I-was-raised. (Vanessa-stabs-her-hand-with-a-fork-to-test-whether-she's-dreaming-or-not) -: That-was-a-little-weird. VANESSA: --I'm-talking-with-a-bee. BARRY: --Yeah. VANESSA: I'm-talking-to-a-bee. And-the-bee-is-talking-to-me! BARRY: I-just-want-to-say-I'm-grateful. I'll-leave-now. (Barry-turns-to-leave) VANESSA: --Wait!-How-did-you-learn-to-do-that? BARRY: (Flying-back) --What? VANESSA: The-talking...thing. BARRY: Same-way-you-did #I-guess. 'Mama #Dada #honey.'-You-pick-it-up. VANESSA: --That's-very-funny. BARRY: --Yeah. -: Bees-are-funny.-If-we-didn't-laugh #we'd-cry-with-what-we-have-to-deal-with. -: Anyway... VANESSA: Can-I... -: ...get-you-something? BARRY: --Like-what? VANESSA: I-don't-know.-I-mean... I-don't-know.-Coffee? BARRY: I-don't-want-to-put-you-out. VANESSA: It's-no-trouble.-It-takes-two-minutes. -: --It's-just-coffee. BARRY: --I-hate-to-impose. (Vanessa-starts-making-coffee) VANESSA: --Don't-be-ridiculous! BARRY: --Actually #I-would-love-a-cup. VANESSA: Hey #you-want-rum-cake? BARRY: --I-shouldn't. VANESSA: --Have-some. BARRY: --No #I-can't. VANESSA: --Come-on! BARRY: I'm-trying-to-lose-a-couple-micrograms. VANESSA: --Where? BARRY: --These-stripes-don't-help. VANESSA: You-look-great! BARRY: I-don't-know-if-you-know anything-about-fashion. -: Are-you-all-right? VANESSA: (Pouring-coffee-on-the-floor-and-missing-the-cup-completely) No. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-sitting-together-at-a-table on-top-of-the-apartment-building-drinking-coffee) -: BARRY== He's-making-the-tie-in-the-cab as-they're-flying-up-Madison. -: He-finally-gets-there. -: He-runs-up-the-steps-into-the-church. The-wedding-is-on. -: And-he-says #'Watermelon? I-thought-you-said-Guatemalan. -: Why-would-I-marry-a-watermelon?' (Barry-laughs-but-Vanessa-looks-confused) VANESSA: Is-that-a-bee-joke? BARRY: That's-the-kind-of-stuff-we-do. VANESSA: Yeah #different. -: So #what-are-you-gonna-do #Barry? (Barry-stands-on-top-of-a-sugar-cube-floating-in-his-coffee-and-paddles-it around-with-a-straw-like-it's-a-gondola) BARRY: About-work?-I-don't-know. -: I-want-to-do-my-part-for-the-hive #but-I-can't-do-it-the-way-they-want. VANESSA: I-know-how-you-feel. BARRY: --You-do? VANESSA: --Sure. -: My-parents-wanted-me-to-be-a-lawyer-or a-doctor #but-I-wanted-to-be-a-florist. BARRY: --Really? VANESSA: --My-only-interest-is-flowers. BARRY: Our-new-queen-was-just-elected with-that-same-campaign-slogan. -: Anyway #if-you-look... (Barry-points-to-a-tree-in-the-middle-of-Central-Park) -: There's-my-hive-right-there.-See-it? VANESSA: You're-in-Sheep-Meadow! BARRY: Yes!-I'm-right-off-the-Turtle-Pond! VANESSA: No-way!-I-know-that-area. I-lost-a-toe-ring-there-once. BARRY: --Why-do-girls-put-rings-on-their-toes? VANESSA: --Why-not? BARRY: --It's-like-putting-a-hat-on-your-knee. VANESSA: --Maybe-I'll-try-that. (A-custodian-installing-a-lightbulb-looks-over-at-them-but-to-his perspective-it-looks-like-Vanessa-is-talking-to-a-cup-of-coffee-on-the table) CUSTODIAN: --You-all-right #ma'am? VANESSA: --Oh #yeah.-Fine. -: Just-having-two-cups-of-coffee! BARRY: Anyway #this-has-been-great. Thanks-for-the-coffee. VANESSA== Yeah #it's-no-trouble. BARRY: Sorry-I-couldn't-finish-it.-If-I-did #I'd-be-up-the-rest-of-my-life. (Barry-points-towards-the-rum-cake) -: Can-I-take-a-piece-of-this-with-me? VANESSA: Sure!-Here #have-a-crumb. (Vanessa-hands-Barry-a-crumb-but-it-is-still-pretty-big-for-Barry) BARRY: --Thanks! VANESSA: --Yeah. BARRY: All-right.-Well #then... I-guess-I'll-see-you-around. -: Or-not. VANESSA: OK #Barry... BARRY: And-thank-you so-much-again...-for-before. VANESSA: Oh #that?-That-was-nothing. BARRY: Well #not-nothing #but...-Anyway... (Vanessa-and-Barry-hold-hands #but-Vanessa-has-to-hold-out-a-finger-because her-hands-is-to-big-and-Barry-holds-that) (The-custodian-looks-over-again-and-it-appears-Vanessa-is-laughing-at-her coffee-again.-The-lightbulb-that-he-was-screwing-in-sparks-and-he-falls-off the-ladder) (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-two-Bee-Scientists-testing-out-a-parachute in-a-Honex-wind-tunnel) BEE-SCIENTIST-#1: This-can't-possibly-work. BEE-SCIENTIST-#2: He's-all-set-to-go. We-may-as-well-try-it. -: OK #Dave #pull-the-chute. (Dave-pulls-the-chute-and-the-wind-slams-him-against-the-wall-and-he-falls on-his-face.The-camera-pans-over-and-we-see-Barry-and-Adam-walking together) ADAM: --Sounds-amazing. BARRY: --It-was-amazing! -: It-was-the-scariest #happiest-moment-of-my-life. ADAM: Humans!-I-can't-believe you-were-with-humans! -: Giant #scary-humans! What-were-they-like? BARRY: Huge-and-crazy.-They-talk-crazy. -: They-eat-crazy-giant-things. They-drive-crazy. ADAM: --Do-they-try-and-kill-you #like-on-TV? BARRY: --Some-of-them.-But-some-of-them-don't. ADAM: --How'd-you-get-back? BARRY: --Poodle. ADAM: You-did-it #and-I'm-glad.-You-saw whatever-you-wanted-to-see. -: You-had-your-'experience.'-Now-you can-pick-out-your-job-and-be-normal. BARRY: --Well... ADAM: --Well? BARRY: Well #I-met-someone. ADAM: You-did?-Was-she-Bee-ish? -: --A-wasp?!-Your-parents-will-kill-you! BARRY: --No #no #no #not-a-wasp. ADAM: --Spider? BARRY: --I'm-not-attracted-to-spiders. -: I-know #for-everyone-else #it's-the-hottest-thing #with-the-eight-legs-and-all. -: I-can't-get-by-that-face. ADAM: So-who-is-she? BARRY: She's...-human. ADAM: No #no.-That's-a-bee-law. You-wouldn't-break-a-bee-law. BARRY: --Her-name's-Vanessa. (Adam-puts-his-head-in-his-hands) ADAM: --Oh #boy. BARRY== She's-so-nice.-And-she's-a-florist! ADAM: Oh #no!-You're-dating-a-human-florist! BARRY: We're-not-dating. ADAM: You're-flying-outside-the-hive #talking to-humans-that-attack-our-homes -: with-power-washers-and-M-80s! That's-one-eighth-a-stick-of-dynamite! BARRY: She-saved-my-life! And-she-understands-me. ADAM: This-is-over! BARRY: Eat-this. (Barry-gives-Adam-a-piece-of-the-crumb-that-he-got-from-Vanessa.-Adam-eats it) ADAM: (Adam's-tone-changes) This-is-not-over!-What-was-that? BARRY: --They-call-it-a-crumb. ADAM: --It-was-so-stingin'-stripey! BARRY: And-that's-not-what-they-eat. That's-what-falls-off-what-they-eat! -: --You-know-what-a-Cinnabon-is? ADAM: --No. (Adam-opens-a-door-behind-him-and-he-pulls-Barry-in) BARRY: It's-bread-and-cinnamon-and-frosting. ADAM: Be-quiet! BARRY: They-heat-it-up... ADAM: Sit-down! (Adam-forces-Barry-to-sit-down) BARRY: (Still-rambling-about-Cinnabons) ...really-hot! (Adam-grabs-Barry-by-the-shoulders) ADAM: --Listen-to-me! -: We-are-not-them!-We're-us. There's-us-and-there's-them! BARRY== Yes #but-who-can-deny the-heart-that-is-yearning? ADAM: There's-no-yearning. Stop-yearning.-Listen-to-me! -: You-have-got-to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend.-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEE: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEES-AND-ADAM: Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-is-laying-on-a-raft-in-a-pool-full-of-honey. He-is-wearing-sunglasses) JANET: There-he-is.-He's-in-the-pool. MARTIN: You-know-what-your-problem-is #Barry? (Barry-pulls-down-his-sunglasses-and-he-looks-annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I-gotta-start-thinking-bee? JANET: How-much-longer-will-this-go-on? MARTIN: It's-been-three-days! Why-aren't-you-working? (Puts-sunglasses-back-on) BARRY: I've-got-a-lot-of-big-life-decisions to-think-about. MARTIN: What-life?-You-have-no-life! You-have-no-job.-You're-barely-a-bee! JANET: Would-it-kill-you to-make-a-little-honey? (Barry-rolls-off-the-raft-and-sinks-into-the-honey-pool) -: Barry #come-out. Your-father's-talking-to-you. -: Martin #would-you-talk-to-him? MARTIN: Barry #I'm-talking-to-you! (Barry-keeps-sinking-into-the-honey-until-he-is-suddenly-in-Central-Park having-a-picnic-with-Vanessa) (Barry-has-a-cup-of-honey-and-he-clinks-his-glass-with-Vanessas.-Suddenly-a mosquito-lands-on-Vanessa-and-she-slaps-it #killing-it.-They-both-gasp-but then-burst-out-laughing) VANESSA: You-coming? (The-camera-pans-over-and-Vanessa-is-climbing-into-a-small-yellow-airplane) BARRY: Got-everything? VANESSA: All-set! BARRY: Go-ahead.-I'll-catch-up. (Vanessa-lifts-off-and-flies-ahead) VANESSA: Don't-be-too-long. (Barry-catches-up-with-Vanessa-and-he-sticks-out-his-arms-like-ana-irplane. He-rolls-from-side-to-side #and-Vanessa-copies-him-with-the-airplane) VANESSA: Watch-this! (Barry-stays-back-and-watches-as-Vanessa-draws-a-heart-in-the-air-using pink-smoke-from-the-plane #but-on-the-last-loop-the-loop-she-suddenly crashes-into-a-mountain-and-the-plane-explodes.-The-destroyed-plane-falls into-some-rocks-and-explodes-a-second-time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As-Barry-is-yelling-his-mouth-fills-with-honey-and-he-wakes-up #discovering-that-he-was-just-day-dreaming.-He-slowly-sinks-back-into-the honey-pool) MARTIN: --We're-still-here. JANET: --I-told-you-not-to-yell-at-him. -: He-doesn't-respond-to-yelling! MARTIN: --Then-why-yell-at-me? JANET: --Because-you-don't-listen! MARTIN: I'm-not-listening-to-this. BARRY: Sorry #I've-gotta-go. MARTIN: --Where-are-you-going? BARRY: --I'm-meeting-a-friend. JANET: A-girl?-Is-this-why-you-can't-decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry-flies-out-the-door-and-Martin-shakes-his-head) -: JANET== I-just-hope-she's-Bee-ish. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-sitting-on-Vanessa's-shoulder-and-she-is closing-up-her-shop) BARRY: They-have-a-huge-parade of-flowers-every-year-in-Pasadena? VANESSA: To-be-in-the-Tournament-of-Roses #that's-every-florist's-dream! -: Up-on-a-float #surrounded by-flowers #crowds-cheering. BARRY: A-tournament.-Do-the-roses compete-in-athletic-events? VANESSA: No.-All-right #I've-got-one. How-come-you-don't-fly-everywhere? BARRY: It's-exhausting.-Why-don't-you run-everywhere?-It's-faster. VANESSA: Yeah #OK #I-see #I-see. All-right #your-turn. BARRY: TiVo.-You-can-just-freeze-live-TV? That's-insane! VANESSA: You-don't-have-that? BARRY: We-have-Hivo #but-it's-a-disease. It's-a-horrible #horrible-disease. VANESSA: Oh #my. (A-human-walks-by-and-Barry-narrowly-avoids-him) PASSERBY: Dumb-bees! VANESSA: You-must-want-to-sting-all-those-jerks. BARRY: We-try-not-to-sting. It's-usually-fatal-for-us. VANESSA: So-you-have-to-watch-your-temper (They-walk-into-a-store) BARRY: Very-carefully. You-kick-a-wall #take-a-walk #: write-an-angry-letter-and-throw-it-out. Work-through-it-like-any-emotion: -: Anger #jealousy #lust. (Suddenly-an-employee(Hector)-hits-Barry-off-of-Vanessa's-shoulder.-Hector thinks-he's-saving-Vanessa) VANESSA: (To-Barry) Oh #my-goodness!-Are-you-OK? (Barry-is-getting-up-off-the-floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To-Hector) --What-is-wrong-with-you?! HECTOR: (Confused) --It's-a-bug. VANESSA: He's-not-bothering-anybody. Get-out-of-here #you-creep! (Vanessa-hits-Hector-across-the-face-with-the-magazine-he-had-and-then-hits him-in-the-head.-Hector-backs-away-covering-his-head) Barry: What-was-that?-A-Pic-'N'-Save-circular? (Vanessa-sets-Barry-back-on-her-shoulder) VANESSA: Yeah #it-was.-How-did-you-know? BARRY: It-felt-like-about-10-pages. Seventy-five-is-pretty-much-our-limit. VANESSA: You've-really-got-that down-to-a-science. BARRY: --Oh #we-have-to.-I-lost-a-cousin-to-Italian-Vogue. VANESSA: --I'll-bet. (Barry-looks-to-his-right-and-notices-there-is-honey-for-sale-in-the-aisle) BARRY: What-in-the-name of-Mighty-Hercules-is-this? (Barry-looks-at-all-the-brands-of-honey #shocked) How-did-this-get-here? Cute-Bee #Golden-Blossom #: Ray-Liotta-Private-Select? (Barry-puts-his-hands-up-and-slowly-turns-around #a-look-of-disgust-on-his face) VANESSA: --Is-he-that-actor? BARRY: --I-never-heard-of-him. -: --Why-is-this-here? VANESSA: --For-people.-We-eat-it. BARRY: You-don't-have enough-food-of-your-own?! (Hector-looks-back-and-notices-that-Vanessa-is-talking-to-Barry) VANESSA: --Well #yes. BARRY: --How-do-you-get-it? VANESSA: --Bees-make-it. BARRY: --I-know-who-makes-it! -: And-it's-hard-to-make-it! -: There's-heating #cooling #stirring. You-need-a-whole-Krelman-thing! VANESSA: --It's-organic. BARRY: --It's-our-ganic! VANESSA: It's-just-honey #Barry. BARRY: Just-what?! -: Bees-don't-know-about-this! This-is-stealing!-A-lot-of-stealing! -: You've-taken-our-homes #schools #hospitals!-This-is-all-we-have! -: And-it's-on-sale?! I'm-getting-to-the-bottom-of-this. -: I'm-getting-to-the-bottom of-all-of-this! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-paints-his-face-with-black-strikes-like-a soldier-and-sneaks-into-the-storage-section-of-the-store) (Two-men #including-Hector #are-loading-boxes-into-some-trucks) -: SUPERMARKET-EMPLOYEE== Hey #Hector. -: --You-almost-done? HECTOR: --Almost. (Barry-takes-a-step-to-peak-around-the-corner) (Whispering) He-is-here.-I-sense-it. -: Well #I-guess-I'll-go-home-now (Hector-pretends-to-walk-away-by-walking-in-place-and-speaking-loudly) -: and-just-leave-this-nice-honey-out #with-no-one-around. BARRY: You're-busted #box-boy! HECTOR: I-knew-I-heard-something! So-you-can-talk! BARRY: I-can-talk. And-now-you'll-start-talking! -: Where-you-getting-the-sweet-stuff? Who's-your-supplier? HECTOR: I-don't-understand. I-thought-we-were-friends. -: The-last-thing-we-want to-do-is-upset-bees! (Hector-takes-a-thumbtack-out-of-the-board-behind-him-and-sword-fights Barry.-Barry-is-using-his-stinger-like-a-sword) -: You're-too-late!-It's-ours-now! BARRY: You #sir #have-crossed the-wrong-sword! HECTOR: You #sir #will-be-lunch for-my-iguana #Ignacio! (Barry-hits-the-thumbtack-out-of-Hectors-hand-and-Hector-surrenders) Barry: Where-is-the-honey-coming-from? -: Tell-me-where! HECTOR: (Pointing-to-leaving-truck) Honey-Farms!-It-comes-from-Honey-Farms! (Barry-chases-after-the-truck-but-it-is-getting-away.-He-flies-onto-a bicyclists'-backpack-and-he-catches-up-to-the-truck) CAR-DRIVER: (To-bicyclist) Crazy-person! (Barry-flies-off-and-lands-on-the-windshield-of-the-Honey-farms-truck. Barry-looks-around-and-sees-dead-bugs-splattered-everywhere) BARRY: What-horrible-thing-has-happened-here? -: These-faces #they-never-knew what-hit-them.-And-now -: they're-on-the-road-to-nowhere! (Barry-hears-a-sudden-whisper) (Barry-looks-up-and-sees-Mooseblood #a-mosquito-playing-dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just-keep-still. BARRY: What?-You're-not-dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do-I-look-dead?-They-will-wipe-anything that-moves.-Where-you-headed? BARRY: To-Honey-Farms. I-am-onto-something-huge-here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm-going-to-Alaska.-Moose-blood #crazy-stuff.-Blows-your-head-off! ANOTHER-BUG-PLAYING-DEAD: I'm-going-to-Tacoma. (Barry-looks-at-another-bug) BARRY: --And-you? MOOSEBLOOD: --He-really-is-dead. BARRY: All-right. (Another-bug-hits-the-windshield-and-the-drivers-notice.-They-activate-the windshield-wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The-windshield-wipers-are-slowly-sliding-over-the-dead-bugs-and-wiping them-off) BARRY: --What-is-that?! MOOSEBLOOD: --Oh #no! -: --A-wiper!-Triple-blade! BARRY: --Triple-blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump-on!-It's-your-only-chance #bee! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-grab-onto-the-wiper-and-they-hold-on-as-it-wipes-the windshield) Why-does-everything-have to-be-so-doggone-clean?! -: How-much-do-you-people-need-to-see?! (Bangs-on-windshield) -: Open-your-eyes! Stick-your-head-out-the-window! RADIO-IN-TRUCK: From-NPR-News-in-Washington #I'm-Carl-Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But-don't-kill-no-more-bugs! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-are-washed-off-by-the-wipr-fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: --Bee! BARRY: --Moose-blood-guy!! (Barry-starts-screaming-as-he-hangs-onto-the-antenna) (Suddenly-it-is-revealed-that-a-water-bug-is-also-hanging-on-the-antenna. There-is-a-pause-and-then-Barry-and-the-water-bug-both-start-screaming) TRUCK-DRIVER: --You-hear-something? GUY-IN-TRUCK: --Like-what? TRUCK-DRIVER: Like-tiny-screaming. GUY-IN-TRUCK: Turn-off-the-radio. (The-antenna-starts-to-lower-until-it-gets-to-low-and-sinks-into-the-truck. The-water-bug-flies-off-and-Barry-is-forced-to-let-go-and-he-is-blown-away. He-luckily-lands-inside-a-horn-on-top-of-the-truck-where-he-finds Mooseblood #who-was-blown-into-the-same-place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup #bee-boy? BARRY: Hey #Blood. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-that-Barry-is-deep-in-conversation-with Mooseblood.-They-have-been-sitting-in-this-truck-for-a-while) BARRY: ...Just-a-row-of-honey-jars #as-far-as-the-eye-could-see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I-assume-wherever-this-truck-goes is-where-they're-getting-it. -: I-mean #that-honey's-ours. MOOSEBLOOD: --Bees-hang-tight. BARRY: --We're-all-jammed-in. -: It's-a-close-community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not-us #man.-We-on-our-own. Every-mosquito-on-his-own. BARRY: --What-if-you-get-in-trouble? MOOSEBLOOD: --You-a-mosquito #you-in-trouble. -: Nobody-likes-us.-They-just-smack. See-a-mosquito #smack #smack! BARRY: At-least-you're-out-in-the-world. You-must-meet-girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito-girls-try-to-trade-up #get-with-a-moth #dragonfly. -: Mosquito-girl-don't-want-no-mosquito. (An-ambulance-passes-by-and-it-has-a-blood-donation-sign-on-it) You-got-to-be-kidding-me! -: Mooseblood's-about-to-leave the-building!-So-long #bee! (Mooseblood-leaves-and-flies-onto-the-window-of-the-ambulance-where-there are-other-mosquito's-hanging-out) -: --Hey #guys! OTHER-MOSQUITO: --Mooseblood! MOOSEBLOOD: I-knew-I'd-catch-y'all-down-here. Did-you-bring-your-crazy-straw? (The-truck-goes-out-of-view-and-Barry-notices-that-the-truck-he's-on-is pulling-into-a-camp-of-some-sort) TRUCK-DRIVER: We-throw-it-in-jars #slap-a-label-on-it #and-it's-pretty-much-pure-profit. (Barry-flies-out) BARRY: What-is-this-place? BEEKEEPER-1#: A-bee's-got-a-brain the-size-of-a-pinhead. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-are-pinheads! -: Pinhead. -: --Check-out-the-new-smoker. BEEKEEPER-#1: --Oh #sweet.-That's-the-one-you-want. -: The-Thomas-3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER-#1: Ninety-puffs-a-minute #semi-automatic. Twice-the-nicotine #all-the-tar. -: A-couple-breaths-of-this knocks-them-right-out. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money. BARRY: 'They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money'? (The-Beekeeper-sprays-hundreds-of-cheap-miniature-apartments-with-the smoker.-The-bees-are-fainting-or-passing-out) Oh #my! -: What's-going-on?-Are-you-OK? (Barry-flies-into-one-of-the-apartment-and-helps-a-Bee-couple-get-off-the ground.-They-are-coughing-and-its-hard-for-them-to-stand) BEE-IN-APARTMENT: Yeah.-It-doesn't-last-too-long. BARRY: Do-you-know-you're in-a-fake-hive-with-fake-walls? BEE-IN-APPARTMENT: Our-queen-was-moved-here. We-had-no-choice. (The-apartment-room-is-completely-empty-except-for-a-photo-on-the-wall-of the-'queen'-who-is-obviously-a-man-in-women's-clothes) BARRY: This-is-your-queen? That's-a-man-in-women's-clothes! -: That's-a-drag-queen! -: What-is-this? (Barry-flies-out-and-he-discovers-that-there-are-hundreds-of-these structures #each-housing-thousands-of-Bees) Oh #no! -: There's-hundreds-of-them! (Barry-takes-out-his-camera-and-takes-pictures-of-these-Bee-work-camps.-The beekeepers-look-very-evil-in-these-depictions) Bee-honey. -: Our-honey-is-being-brazenly-stolen on-a-massive-scale! -: This-is-worse-than-anything-bears have-done!-I-intend-to-do-something. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-showing-these-pictures-to-his-parents) JANET: Oh #Barry #stop. MARTIN: Who-told-you-humans-are-taking our-honey?-That's-a-rumor. BARRY: Do-these-look-like-rumors? (Holds-up-the-pictures) UNCLE-CARL: That's-a-conspiracy-theory. These-are-obviously-doctored-photos. JANET: How-did-you-get-mixed-up-in-this? ADAM: He's-been-talking-to-humans. JANET: --What? MARTIN: --Talking-to-humans?! ADAM: He-has-a-human-girlfriend. And-they-make-out! JANET: Make-out?-Barry! BARRY: We-do-not. ADAM: --You-wish-you-could. MARTIN: --Whose-side-are-you-on? BARRY: The-bees! UNCLE-CARL: (He-has-been-sitting-in-the-back-of-the-room-this-entire-time) I-dated-a-cricket-once-in-San-Antonio. Those-crazy-legs-kept-me-up-all-night. JANET: Barry #this-is-what-you-want to-do-with-your-life? BARRY: I-want-to-do-it-for-all-our-lives. Nobody-works-harder-than-bees! -: Dad #I-remember-you coming-home-so-overworked -: your-hands-were-still-stirring. You-couldn't-stop. JANET: I-remember-that. BARRY: What-right-do-they-have-to-our-honey? -: We-live-on-two-cups-a-year.-They-put-it in-lip-balm-for-no-reason-whatsoever! ADAM: Even-if-it's-true #what-can-one-bee-do? BARRY: Sting-them-where-it-really-hurts. MARTIN: In-the-face!-The-eye! -: --That-would-hurt. BARRY: --No. MARTIN: Up-the-nose?-That's-a-killer. BARRY: There's-only-one-place-you-can-sting the-humans #one-place-where-it-matters. (Flash-forward-a-bit-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-Bee-News) BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: Hive-at-Five #the-hive's-only full-hour-action-news-source. BEE-PROTESTOR: No-more-bee-beards! BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: With-Bob-Bumble-at-the-anchor-desk. -: Weather-with-Storm-Stinger. -: Sports-with-Buzz-Larvi. -: And-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: --Good-evening.-I'm-Bob-Bumble. JEANETTE-CHUNG: --And-I'm-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: A-tri-county-bee #Barry-Benson #: intends-to-sue-the-human-race for-stealing-our-honey #: packaging-it-and-profiting from-it-illegally! JEANETTE-CHUNG: Tomorrow-night-on-Bee-Larry-King #: we'll-have-three-former-queens-here-in our-studio #discussing-their-new-book #: Classy-Ladies #out-this-week-on-Hexagon. (The-scene-changes-to-an-interview-on-the-news-with-Bee-version-of-Larry King-and-Barry) BEE-LARRY-KING: Tonight-we're-talking-to-Barry-Benson. -: Did-you-ever-think #'I'm-a-kid from-the-hive.-I-can't-do-this'? BARRY: Bees-have-never-been-afraid to-change-the-world. -: What-about-Bee-Columbus? Bee-Gandhi?-Bejesus? BEE-LARRY-KING: Where-I'm-from #we'd-never-sue-humans. -: We-were-thinking of-stickball-or-candy-stores. BARRY: How-old-are-you? BEE-LARRY-KING: The-bee-community is-supporting-you-in-this-case #: which-will-be-the-trial of-the-bee-century. BARRY: You-know #they-have-a-Larry-King in-the-human-world-too. BEE-LARRY-KING: It's-a-common-name.-Next-week... BARRY: He-looks-like-you-and-has-a-show and-suspenders-and-colored-dots... BEE-LARRY-KING: Next-week... BARRY: Glasses #quotes-on-the-bottom-from-the guest-even-though-you-just-heard-'em. BEE-LARRY-KING: Bear-Week-next-week! They're-scary #hairy-and-here #live. (Bee-Larry-King-gets-annoyed-and-flies-away-offscreen) BARRY: Always-leans-forward #pointy-shoulders #squinty-eyes #very-Jewish. (Flash-forward-in-time.-We-see-Vanessa-enter-and-Ken-enters-behind-her. They-are-arguing) KEN: In-tennis #you-attack at-the-point-of-weakness! VANESSA: It-was-my-grandmother #Ken.-She's-81. KEN== Honey #her-backhand's-a-joke! I'm-not-gonna-take-advantage-of-that? BARRY: (To-Ken) Quiet #please. Actual-work-going-on-here. KEN: (Pointing-at-Barry) --Is-that-that-same-bee? VANESSA: --Yes #it-is! -: I'm-helping-him-sue-the-human-race. BARRY: --Hello. KEN: --Hello #bee. VANESSA: This-is-Ken. BARRY: (Recalling-the-'Winter-Boots'-incident-earlier) Yeah #I-remember-you.-Timberland #size ten-and-a-half.-Vibram-sole #I-believe. KEN: (To-Vanessa) Why-does-he-talk-again? VANESSA: Listen #you-better-go 'cause-we're-really-busy-working. KEN: But-it's-our-yogurt-night! VANESSA: (Holding-door-open-for-Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why-is-yogurt-night-so-difficult?! (Ken-leaves-and-Vanessa-walks-over-to-Barry.-His-workplace-is-a-mess) VANESSA: You-poor-thing. You-two-have-been-at-this-for-hours! BARRY: Yes #and-Adam-here has-been-a-huge-help. ADAM: --Frosting... --How-many-sugars? -==BARRY== Just-one.-I-try-not to-use-the-competition. -: So-why-are-you-helping-me? VANESSA: Bees-have-good-qualities. -: And-it-takes-my-mind-off-the-shop. -: Instead-of-flowers #people are-giving-balloon-bouquets-now. BARRY: Those-are-great #if-you're-three. VANESSA: And-artificial-flowers. BARRY: --Oh #those-just-get-me-psychotic! VANESSA: --Yeah #me-too. -: BARRY: Bent-stingers #pointless-pollination. ADAM: Bees-must-hate-those-fake-things! -: Nothing-worse than-a-daffodil-that's-had-work-done. -: Maybe-this-could-make-up for-it-a-little-bit. VANESSA: --This-lawsuit's-a-pretty-big-deal. BARRY: --I-guess. ADAM: You-sure-you-want-to-go-through-with-it? BARRY: Am-I-sure?-When-I'm-done-with the-humans #they-won't-be-able -: to-say #'Honey #I'm-home #' without-paying-a-royalty! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-human-news.-The-camera-shows a-crowd-outside-a-courthouse) NEWS-REPORTER: It's-an-incredible-scene here-in-downtown-Manhattan #: where-the-world-anxiously-waits #because-for-the-first-time-in-history #: we-will-hear-for-ourselves if-a-honeybee-can-actually-speak. (We-are-no-longer-watching-through-a-news-camera) ADAM: What-have-we-gotten-into-here #Barry? BARRY: It's-pretty-big #isn't-it? ADAM== (Looking-at-the-hundreds-of-people-around-the-courthouse) I-can't-believe-how-many-humans don't-work-during-the-day. BARRY: You-think-billion-dollar-multinational food-companies-have-good-lawyers? SECURITY-GUARD: Everybody-needs-to-stay behind-the-barricade. (A-limousine-drives-up-and-a-fat-man #Layton-Montgomery #a-honey-industry owner-gets-out-and-walks-past-Barry) ADAM: --What's-the-matter? BARRY: --I-don't-know #I-just-got-a-chill. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-everyone-is-in-the-court) MONTGOMERY: Well #if-it-isn't-the-bee-team. (To-Honey-Industry-lawyers) You-boys-work-on-this? MAN: All-rise!-The-Honorable Judge-Bumbleton-presiding. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: All-right.-Case-number-4475 #: Superior-Court-of-New-York #Barry-Bee-Benson-v.-the-Honey-Industry -: is-now-in-session. -: Mr.-Montgomery #you're-representing the-five-food-companies-collectively? MONTGOMERY: A-privilege. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson...-you're-representing all-the-bees-of-the-world? (Everyone-looks-closely #they-are-waiting-to-see-if-a-Bee-can-really-talk) (Barry-makes-several-buzzing-sounds-to-sound-like-a-Bee) BARRY: I'm-kidding.-Yes #Your-Honor #we're-ready-to-proceed. JUDGE-BUMBLBETON: Mr.-Montgomery #your-opening-statement #please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies-and-gentlemen-of-the-jury #: my-grandmother-was-a-simple-woman. -: Born-on-a-farm #she-believed it-was-man's-divine-right -: to-benefit-from-the-bounty of-nature-God-put-before-us. -: If-we-lived-in-the-topsy-turvy-world Mr.-Benson-imagines #: just-think-of-what-would-it-mean. -: I-would-have-to-negotiate with-the-silkworm -: for-the-elastic-in-my-britches! -: Talking-bee! (Montgomery-walks-over-and-looks-closely-at-Barry) -: How-do-we-know-this-isn't-some-sort-of -: holographic-motion-picture-capture Hollywood-wizardry? -: They-could-be-using-laser-beams! -: Robotics!-Ventriloquism! Cloning!-For-all-we-know #: he-could-be-on-steroids! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson? BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #there's-no-trickery-here. -: I'm-just-an-ordinary-bee. Honey's-pretty-important-to-me. -: It's-important-to-all-bees. We-invented-it! -: We-make-it.-And-we-protect-it with-our-lives. -: Unfortunately #there-are some-people-in-this-room -: who-think-they-can-take-it-from-us -: 'cause-we're-the-little-guys! I'm-hoping-that #after-this-is-all-over #: you'll-see-how #by-taking-our-honey #you-not-only-take-everything-we-have -: but-everything-we-are! JANET== (To-Martin) I-wish-he'd-dress-like-that all-the-time.-So-nice! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Call-your-first-witness. BARRY: So #Mr.-Klauss-Vanderhayden of-Honey-Farms #big-company-you-have. KLAUSS-VANDERHAYDEN: I-suppose-so. BARRY: I-see-you-also-own Honeyburton-and-Honron! KLAUSS: Yes #they-provide-beekeepers for-our-farms. BARRY: Beekeeper.-I-find-that to-be-a-very-disturbing-term. -: I-don't-imagine-you-employ any-bee-free-ers #do-you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) --No. BARRY: --I-couldn't-hear-you. KLAUSS: --No. BARRY: --No. -: Because-you-don't-free-bees. You-keep-bees.-Not-only-that #: it-seems-you-thought-a-bear-would-be an-appropriate-image-for-a-jar-of-honey. KLAUSS: They're-very-lovable-creatures. -: Yogi-Bear #Fozzie-Bear #Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You-mean-like-this? (The-bear-from-Over-The-Hedge-barges-in-through-the-back-door-and-it-is roaring-and-standing-on-its-hind-legs.-It-is-thrashing-its-claws-and-people are-screaming.-It-is-being-held-back-by-a-guard-who-has-the-bear-on-a chain) -: (Pointing-to-the-roaring-bear) Bears-kill-bees! -: How'd-you-like-his-head-crashing through-your-living-room?! -: Biting-into-your-couch! Spitting-out-your-throw-pillows! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: OK #that's-enough.-Take-him-away. (The-bear-stops-roaring-and-thrashing-and-walks-out) BARRY: So #Mr.-Sting #thank-you-for-being-here. Your-name-intrigues-me. -: --Where-have-I-heard-it-before? MR.-STING: --I-was-with-a-band-called-The-Police. BARRY: But-you've-never-been a-police-officer #have-you? STING: No #I-haven't. BARRY: No #you-haven't.-And-so-here we-have-yet-another-example -: of-bee-culture-casually stolen-by-a-human -: for-nothing-more-than a-prance-about-stage-name. STING: Oh #please. BARRY: Have-you-ever-been-stung #Mr.-Sting? -: Because-I'm-feeling a-little-stung #Sting. -: Or-should-I-say...-Mr.-Gordon-M.-Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's-not-his-real-name?!-You-idiots! BARRY: Mr.-Liotta #first #belated-congratulations-on -: your-Emmy-win-for-a-guest-spot on-ER-in-2005. RAY-LIOTTA: Thank-you.-Thank-you. BARRY: I-see-from-your-resume that-you're-devilishly-handsome -: with-a-churning-inner-turmoil that's-ready-to-blow. RAY-LIOTTA: I-enjoy-what-I-do.-Is-that-a-crime? BARRY: Not-yet-it-isn't.-But-is-this what-it's-come-to-for-you? -: Exploiting-tiny #helpless-bees so-you-don't -: have-to-rehearse your-part-and-learn-your-lines #sir? RAY-LIOTTA: Watch-it #Benson! I-could-blow-right-now! BARRY: This-isn't-a-goodfella. This-is-a-badfella! (Ray-Liotta-looses-it-and-tries-to-grab-Barry) RAY-LIOTTA: Why-doesn't-someone-just-step-on this-creep #and-we-can-all-go-home?! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: --Order-in-this-court! RAY-LIOTTA: --You're-all-thinking-it! (Judge-Bumbleton-starts-banging-her-gavel) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Order!-Order #I-say! RAY-LIOTTA: --Say-it! MAN: --Mr.-Liotta #please-sit-down! (We-see-a-montage-of-magazines-which-feature-the-court-case) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-back-home-with-Vanessa) BARRY: I-think-it-was-awfully-nice of-that-bear-to-pitch-in-like-that. VANESSA: I-think-the-jury's-on-our-side. BARRY: Are-we-doing-everything-right #you-know #legally? VANESSA: I'm-a-florist. BARRY: Right.-Well #here's-to-a-great-team. VANESSA: To-a-great-team! (Ken-walks-in-from-work.-He-sees-Barry-and-he-looks-upset-when-he-sees Barry-clinking-his-glass-with-Vanessa) KEN: Well #hello. VANESSA: --Oh #Ken! BARRY: --Hello! VANESSA: I-didn't-think-you-were-coming. -: No #I-was-just-late. I-tried-to-call #but... (Ken-holds-up-his-phone-and-flips-it-open.-The-phone-has-no-charge) ...the-battery... VANESSA: I-didn't-want-all-this-to-go-to-waste #so-I-called-Barry.-Luckily #he-was-free. KEN: Oh #that-was-lucky. (Ken-sits-down-at-the-table-across-from-Barry-and-Vanessa-leaves-the-room) VANESSA: There's-a-little-left. I-could-heat-it-up. KEN: (Not-taking-his-eyes-off-Barry) Yeah #heat-it-up #sure #whatever. BARRY: So-I-hear-you're-quite-a-tennis-player. -: I'm-not-much-for-the-game-myself. The-ball's-a-little-grabby. KEN: That's-where-I-usually-sit. Right... (Points-to-where-Barry-is-sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling-from-other-room) Ken #Barry-was-looking-at-your-resume #: and-he-agreed-with-me-that-eating-with chopsticks-isn't-really-a-special-skill. KEN: (To-Barry) You-think-I-don't-see-what-you're-doing? BARRY: I-know-how-hard-it-is-to-find the-right-job.-We-have-that-in-common. KEN: Do-we? BARRY: Bees-have-100-percent-employment #but-we-do-jobs-like-taking-the-crud-out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's-just-what I-was-thinking-about-doing. (Ken-reaches-for-a-fork-on-the-table-but-knocks-if-on-the-floor.-He-goes-to pick-it-up) VANESSA: Ken #I-let-Barry-borrow-your-razor for-his-fuzz.-I-hope-that-was-all-right. (Ken-quickly-rises-back-up-after-hearing-this-but-hits-his-head-on-the table-and-yells) BARRY: I'm-going-to-drain-the-old-stinger. KEN: Yeah #you-do-that. (Barry-flies-past-Ken-to-get-to-the-bathroom-and-Ken-freaks-out #splashing some-of-the-wine-he-was-using-to-cool-his-head-in-his-eyes.-He-yells-in anger) (Barry-looks-at-the-magazines-featuring-his-victories-in-court) BARRY: Look-at-that. (Barry-flies-into-the-bathroom) (He-puts-his-hand-on-his-head-but-this-makes-hurts-him-and-makes-him-even madder.-He-yells-again) (Barry-is-washing-his-hands-in-the-sink-but-then-Ken-walks-in) KEN: You-know #you-know-I've-just-about-had-it (Closes-bathroom-door-behind-him) with-your-little-mind-games. (Ken-is-menacingly-rolling-up-a-magazine) BARRY: (Backing-away) --What's-that? KEN: --Italian-Vogue. BARRY: Mamma-mia #that's-a-lot-of-pages. KEN: It's-a-lot-of-ads. BARRY: Remember-what-Van-said #why-is your-life-more-valuable-than-mine? KEN: That's-funny #I-just-can't-seem-to-recall-that! (Ken-smashes-everything-off-the-sink-with-the-magazine-and-Barry-narrowly escapes) (Ken-follows-Barry-around-and-tries-to-hit-him-with-the-magazine-but-he keeps-missing) (Ken-gets-a-spray-bottle) -: I-think-something-stinks-in-here! BARRY: (Enjoying-the-spray) I-love-the-smell-of-flowers. (Ken-holds-a-lighter-in-front-of-the-spray-bottle) KEN: How-do-you-like-the-smell-of-flames?! BARRY: Not-as-much. (Ken-fires-his-make-shift-flamethrower-but-misses-Barry #burning-the bathroom.-He-torches-the-whole-room-but-looses-his-footing-and-falls-into the-bathtub.-After-getting-hit-in-the-head-by-falling-objects-3-times-he picks-up-the-shower-head #revealing-a-Water-bug-hiding-under-it) WATER-BUG: Water-bug!-Not-taking-sides! (Barry-gets-up-out-of-a-pile-of-bathroom-supplies-and-he-is-wearing-a chapstick-hat) BARRY: Ken #I'm-wearing-a-Chapstick-hat! This-is-pathetic! (Ken-switches-the-shower-head-to-lethal) KEN: I've-got-issues! (Ken-sprays-Barry-with-the-shower-head-and-he-crash-lands-into-the-toilet) (Ken-menacingly-looks-down-into-the-toilet-at-Barry) Well #well #well #a-royal-flush! BARRY: --You're-bluffing. KEN: --Am-I? (flushes-toilet) (Barry-grabs-a-chapstick-from-the-toilet-seat-and-uses-it-to-surf-in-the flushing-toilet) BARRY: Surf's-up #dude! (Barry-flies-out-of-the-toilet-on-the-chapstick-and-sprays-Ken's-face-with the-toilet-water) -: EW #Poo-water! BARRY: That-bowl-is-gnarly. KEN: (Aiming-a-toilet-cleaner-at-Barry) Except-for-those-dirty-yellow-rings! (Barry-cowers-and-covers-his-head-and-Vanessa-runs-in-and-takes-the-toilet cleaner-from-Ken-just-before-he-hits-Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth!-What-are-you-doing?! KEN== (Leaning-towards-Barry) You-know #I-don't-even-like-honey! I-don't-eat-it! VANESSA: We-need-to-talk! (Vanessa-pulls-Ken-out-of-the-bathroom) -: He's-just-a-little-bee! -: And-he-happens-to-be the-nicest-bee-I've-met-in-a-long-time! KEN: Long-time?-What-are-you-talking-about?! Are-there-other-bugs-in-your-life? VANESSA: No #but-there-are-other-things-bugging me-in-life.-And-you're-one-of-them! KEN: Fine!-Talking-bees #no-yogurt-night... -: My-nerves-are-fried-from-riding on-this-emotional-roller-coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye #Ken. (Ken-huffs-and-walks-out-and-slams-the-door.-But-suddenly-he-walks-back-in and-stares-at-Barry) -: And-for-your-information #I-prefer-sugar-free #artificial sweeteners-MADE-BY-MAN! (Ken-leaves-again-and-Vanessa-leans-in-towards-Barry) VANESSA: I'm-sorry-about-all-that. (Ken-walks-back-in-again) KEN: I-know-it's-got an-aftertaste!-I-LIKE-IT! (Ken-leaves-for-the-last-time) VANESSA: I-always-felt-there-was-some-kind of-barrier-between-Ken-and-me. -: I-couldn't-overcome-it. Oh #well. -: Are-you-OK-for-the-trial? BARRY: I-believe-Mr.-Montgomery is-about-out-of-ideas. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry #Adam #and-Vanessa-are-back-in-court) MONTGOMERY-- We-would-like-to-call Mr.-Barry-Benson-Bee-to-the-stand. ADAM: Good-idea!-You-can-really-see-why-he's considered-one-of-the-best-lawyers... (Barry-stares-at-Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton #you've gotta-weave-some-magic with-this-jury #or-it's-gonna-be-all-over. MONTGOMERY: Don't-worry.-The-only-thing-I-have to-do-to-turn-this-jury-around -: is-to-remind-them of-what-they-don't-like-about-bees. (To-lawyer) --You-got-the-tweezers? LAWYER: --Are-you-allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only-to-losing #son.-Only-to-losing. -: Mr.-Benson-Bee #I'll-ask-you what-I-think-we'd-all-like-to-know. -: What-exactly-is-your-relationship (Points-to-Vanessa) -: to-that-woman? BARRY: We're-friends. MONTGOMERY: --Good-friends? BARRY: --Yes. MONTGOMERY: How-good?-Do-you-live-together? ADAM: Wait-a-minute... -: MONTGOMERY: Are-you-her-little... -: ...bedbug? (Adam's-stinger-starts-vibrating.-He-is-agitated) I've-seen-a-bee-documentary-or-two. From-what-I-understand #: doesn't-your-queen-give-birth to-all-the-bee-children? BARRY: --Yeah #but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing-at-Janet-and-Martin) --So-those-aren't-your-real-parents! JANET: --Oh #Barry... BARRY: --Yes #they-are! ADAM: Hold-me-back! (Vanessa-tries-to-hold-Adam-back.-He-wants-to-sting-Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're-an-illegitimate-bee #aren't-you #Benson? ADAM: He's-denouncing-bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't-y'all-date-your-cousins? (Montgomery-leans-over-on-the-jury-stand-and-stares-at-Adam) VANESSA: --Objection! (Vanessa-raises-her-hand-to-object-but-Adam-gets-free.-He-flies-straight-at Montgomery) =ADAM: --I'm-going-to-pincushion-this-guy! BARRY: Adam #don't!-It's-what-he-wants! (Adam-stings-Montgomery-in-the-butt-and-he-starts-thrashing-around) MONTGOMERY: Oh #I'm-hit!! -: Oh #lordy #I-am-hit! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: (Banging-gavel) Order!-Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The-venom!-The-venom is-coursing-through-my-veins! -: I-have-been-felled by-a-winged-beast-of-destruction! -: You-see?-You-can't-treat-them like-equals!-They're-striped-savages! -: Stinging's-the-only-thing they-know!-It's-their-way! BARRY: --Adam #stay-with-me. ADAM: --I-can't-feel-my-legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting-and-throwing-his-body-around-the-room) What-angel-of-mercy will-come-forward-to-suck-the-poison -: from-my-heaving-buttocks? JUDGE-BUMLBETON: I-will-have-order-in-this-court.-Order! -: Order #please! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-see-a-human-news-reporter) NEWS-REPORTER: The-case-of-the-honeybees versus-the-human-race -: took-a-pointed-turn-against-the-bees -: yesterday-when-one-of-their-legal team-stung-Layton-T.-Montgomery. (Adam-is-laying-in-a-hospital-bed-and-Barry-flies-in-to-see-him) BARRY: --Hey #buddy. ADAM: --Hey. BARRY: --Is-there-much-pain? ADAM: --Yeah. -: I... -: I-blew-the-whole-case #didn't-I? BARRY: It-doesn't-matter.-What-matters-is you're-alive.-You-could-have-died. ADAM: I'd-be-better-off-dead.-Look-at-me. (A-small-plastic-sword-is-replaced-as-Adam's-stinger) They-got-it-from-the-cafeteria downstairs #in-a-tuna-sandwich. -: Look #there's a-little-celery-still-on-it. (Flicks-off-the-celery-and-sighs) BARRY: What-was-it-like-to-sting-someone? ADAM: I-can't-explain-it.-It-was-all... -: All-adrenaline-and-then... and-then-ecstasy! BARRY: ...All-right. ADAM: You-think-it-was-all-a-trap? BARRY: Of-course.-I'm-sorry. I-flew-us-right-into-this. -: What-were-we-thinking?-Look-at-us.-We're just-a-couple-of-bugs-in-this-world. ADAM: What-will-the-humans-do-to-us if-they-win? BARRY: I-don't-know. ADAM: I-hear-they-put-the-roaches-in-motels. That-doesn't-sound-so-bad. BARRY: Adam #they-check-in #but-they-don't-check-out! ADAM: Oh #my. (Coughs) Could-you-get-a-nurse to-close-that-window? BARRY: --Why? ADAM: --The-smoke. (We-can-see-that-two-humans-are-smoking-cigarettes-outside) -: Bees-don't-smoke. BARRY: Right.-Bees-don't-smoke. -: Bees-don't-smoke! But-some-bees-are-smoking. -: That's-it!-That's-our-case! ADAM: It-is?-It's-not-over? BARRY: Get-dressed.-I've-gotta-go-somewhere. -: Get-back-to-the-court-and-stall. Stall-any-way-you-can. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Adam-is-making-a-paper-boat-in-the-courtroom) ADAM: And-assuming-you've-done-step-29-correctly #you're-ready-for-the-tub! (We-see-that-the-jury-have-each-made-their-own-paper-boats-after-being taught-how-by-Adam.-They-all-look-confused) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman. ADAM: Yes?-Yes #Your-Honor! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Where-is-the-rest-of-your-team? ADAM: (Continues-stalling) Well #Your-Honor #it's-interesting. -: Bees-are-trained-to-fly-haphazardly #: and-as-a-result #we-don't-make-very-good-time. -: I-actually-heard-a-funny-story-about... MONTGOMERY: Your-Honor #haven't-these-ridiculous-bugs -: taken-up-enough of-this-court's-valuable-time? -: How-much-longer-will-we-allow these-absurd-shenanigans-to-go-on? -: They-have-presented-no-compelling evidence-to-support-their-charges -: against-my-clients #who-run-legitimate-businesses. -: I-move-for-a-complete-dismissal of-this-entire-case! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman #I'm-afraid-I'm-going -: to-have-to-consider Mr.-Montgomery's-motion. ADAM: But-you-can't!-We-have-a-terrific-case. MONTGOMERY: Where-is-your-proof? Where-is-the-evidence? -: Show-me-the-smoking-gun! BARRY: (Barry-flies-in-through-the-door) Hold-it #Your-Honor! You-want-a-smoking-gun? -: Here-is-your-smoking-gun. (Vanessa-walks-in-holding-a-bee-smoker.-She-sets-it-down-on-the-Judge's podium) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: What-is-that? BARRY: It's-a-bee-smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks-up-smoker) What #this? This-harmless-little-contraption? -: This-couldn't-hurt-a-fly #let-alone-a-bee. (Montgomery-accidentally-fires-it-at-the-bees-in-the-crowd-and-they-faint and-cough) (Dozens-of-reporters-start-taking-pictures-of-the-suffering-bees) BARRY: Look-at-what-has-happened -: to-bees-who-have-never-been-asked #'Smoking-or-non?' -: Is-this-what-nature-intended-for-us? -: To-be-forcibly-addicted to-smoke-machines -: and-man-made-wooden-slat-work-camps? -: Living-out-our-lives-as-honey-slaves to-the-white-man? (Barry-points-to-the-honey-industry-owners.-One-of-them-is-an-African American-so-he-awkwardly-separates-himself-from-the-others) LAWYER: --What-are-we-gonna-do? --He's-playing-the-species-card. BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #please #free-these-bees! ADAM-AND-VANESSA: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! BEES-IN-CROWD: Free-the-bees! HUMAN-JURY: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: The-court-finds-in-favor-of-the-bees! BARRY: Vanessa #we-won! VANESSA: I-knew-you-could-do-it!-High-five! (Vanessa-hits-Barry-hard-because-her-hand-is-too-big) -: Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm-OK!-You-know-what-this-means? -: All-the-honey will-finally-belong-to-the-bees. -: Now-we-won't-have to-work-so-hard-all-the-time. MONTGOMERY: This-is-an-unholy-perversion of-the-balance-of-nature #Benson. -: You'll-regret-this. (Montgomery-leaves-and-Barry-goes-outside-the-courtroom.-Several-reporters start-asking-Barry-questions) REPORTER-1#: Barry #how-much-honey-is-out-there? BARRY: All-right.-One-at-a-time. REPORTER-2#: Barry #who-are-you-wearing? BARRY: My-sweater-is-Ralph-Lauren #and-I-have-no-pants. (Barry-flies-outside-with-the-paparazzi-and-Adam-and-Vanessa-stay-back) ADAM: (To-Vanessa) --What-if-Montgomery's-right? Vanessa: --What-do-you-mean? ADAM: We've-been-living-the-bee-way a-long-time #27-million-years. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-a-man) BUSINESS-MAN: Congratulations-on-your-victory. What-will-you-demand-as-a-settlement? BARRY: First #we'll-demand-a-complete-shutdown of-all-bee-work-camps. (As-Barry-is-talking-we-see-a-montage-of-men-putting-'closed'-tape-over-the work-camps-and-freeing-the-bees-in-the-crappy-apartments) Then-we-want-back-the-honey that-was-ours-to-begin-with #: every-last-drop. (Men-in-suits-are-pushing-all-the-honey-of-the-aisle-and-into-carts) We-demand-an-end-to-the-glorification of-the-bear-as-anything-more (We-see-a-statue-of-a-bear-shaped-honey-container-being-pulled-down-by bees) than-a-filthy #smelly #bad-breath-stink-machine. -: We're-all-aware of-what-they-do-in-the-woods. (We-see-Winnie-the-Pooh-sharing-his-honey-with-Piglet-in-the-cross-hairs-of a-high-tech-sniper-rifle) BARRY: (Looking-through-binoculars) Wait-for-my-signal. -: Take-him-out. (Winnie-gets-hit-by-a-tranquilizer-dart-and-dramatically-falls-off-the-log he-was-standing-on #his-tongue-hanging-out.-Piglet-looks-at-Pooh-in-fear and-the-Sniper-takes-the-honey.) SNIPER: He'll-have-nausea for-a-few-hours #then-he'll-be-fine. (Flash-forward-in-time) BARRY: And-we-will-no-longer-tolerate bee-negative-nicknames... (Mr.-Sting-is-sitting-at-home-until-he-is-taken-out-of-his-house-by-the-men in-suits) STING: But-it's-just-a-prance-about-stage-name! BARRY: ...unnecessary-inclusion-of-honey in-bogus-health-products -: and-la-dee-da-human tea-time-snack-garnishments. (An-old-lady-is-mixing-honey-into-her-tea-but-suddenly-men-in-suits-smash her-face-down-on-the-table-and-take-the-honey) OLD-LADY: Can't-breathe. (A-honey-truck-pulls-up-to-Barry's-hive) WORKER: Bring-it-in #boys! -: Hold-it-right-there!-Good. -: Tap-it. (Tons-of-honey-is-being-pumped-into-the-hive's-storage) BEE-WORKER-1#: (Honey-overflows-from-the-cup) Mr.-Buzzwell #we-just-passed-three-cups #and-there's-gallons-more-coming! -: --I-think-we-need-to-shut-down! =BEE-WORKER-#2= --Shut-down?-We've-never-shut-down. -: Shut-down-honey-production! DEAN-BUZZWELL: Stop-making-honey! (The-bees-all-leave-their-stations.-Two-bees-run-into-a-room-and-they-put the-keys-into-a-machine) Turn-your-key #sir! (Two-worker-bees-dramatically-turn-their-keys #which-opens-the-button-which they-press #shutting-down-the-honey-making-machines.-This-is-the-first-time this-has-ever-happened) BEE: ...What-do-we-do-now? (Flash-forward-in-time-and-a-Bee-is-about-to-jump-into-a-pool-full-of honey) Cannonball! (The-bee-gets-stuck-in-the-honey-and-we-get-a-short-montage-of-Bees-leaving work) (We-see-the-Pollen-Jocks-flying-but-one-of-them-gets-a-call-on-his-antenna) LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') We're-shutting-honey-production! -: Mission-abort. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Aborting-pollination-and-nectar-detail. Returning-to-base. (The-Pollen-Jocks-fly-back-to-the-hive) (We-get-a-time-lapse-of-Central-Park-slowly-wilting-away-as-the-bees-all relax) BARRY: Adam #you-wouldn't-believe how-much-honey-was-out-there. ADAM: Oh #yeah? BARRY: What's-going-on?-Where-is-everybody? (The-entire-street-is-deserted) -: --Are-they-out-celebrating? ADAM: --They're-home. -: They-don't-know-what-to-do. Laying-out #sleeping-in. -: I-heard-your-Uncle-Carl-was-on-his-way to-San-Antonio-with-a-cricket. BARRY: At-least-we-got-our-honey-back. ADAM: Sometimes-I-think #so-what-if-humans liked-our-honey?-Who-wouldn't? -: It's-the-greatest-thing-in-the-world! I-was-excited-to-be-part-of-making-it. -: This-was-my-new-desk.-This-was-my new-job.-I-wanted-to-do-it-really-well. -: And-now... -: Now-I-can't. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-Vanessa) BARRY: I-don't-understand why-they're-not-happy. -: I-thought-their-lives-would-be-better! -: They're-doing-nothing.-It's-amazing. Honey-really-changes-people. VANESSA: You-don't-have-any-idea what's-going-on #do-you? BARRY: --What-did-you-want-to-show-me? (Vanessa-takes-Barry-to-the-rooftop-where-they-first-had-coffee-and-points to-her-store) VANESSA: --This. (Points-at-her-flowers.-They-are-all-grey-and-wilting) BARRY: What-happened-here? VANESSA: That-is-not-the-half-of-it. (Small-flash-forward-in-time-and-Vanessa-and-Barry-are-on-the-roof-of-her store-and-she-points-to-Central-Park) (We-see-that-Central-Park-is-no-longer-green-and-colorful #rather-it-is grey #brown #and-dead-like.-It-is-very-depressing-to-look-at) BARRY: Oh #no.-Oh #my. -: They're-all-wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't-look-very-good #does-it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And-whose-fault-do-you-think-that-is? BARRY: You-know #I'm-gonna-guess-bees. VANESSA== (Staring-at-Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically #me. -: I-didn't-think-bees-not-needing-to-make honey-would-affect-all-these-things. VANESSA: It's-not-just-flowers. Fruits #vegetables #they-all-need-bees. BARRY: That's-our-whole-SAT-test-right-there. VANESSA: Take-away-produce #that-affects the-entire-animal-kingdom. -: And-then #of-course... BARRY: The-human-species? -: So-if-there's-no-more-pollination #: it-could-all-just-go-south-here #couldn't-it? VANESSA: I-know-this-is-also-partly-my-fault. BARRY: How-about-a-suicide-pact? VANESSA: How-do-we-do-it? BARRY: --I'll-sting-you #you-step-on-me. VANESSA: --That-just-kills-you-twice. BARRY: Right #right. VANESSA: Listen #Barry... sorry #but-I-gotta-get-going. (Vanessa-leaves) BARRY: (To-himself) I-had-to-open-my-mouth-and-talk. -: Vanessa? -: Vanessa?-Why-are-you-leaving? Where-are-you-going? (Vanessa-is-getting-into-a-taxi) VANESSA: To-the-final-Tournament-of-Roses-parade in-Pasadena. -: They've-moved-it-to-this-weekend because-all-the-flowers-are-dying. -: It's-the-last-chance I'll-ever-have-to-see-it. BARRY: Vanessa #I-just-wanna-say-I'm-sorry. I-never-meant-it-to-turn-out-like-this. VANESSA: I-know.-Me-neither. (The-taxi-starts-to-drive-away) BARRY: Tournament-of-Roses. Roses-can't-do-sports. -: Wait-a-minute.-Roses.-Roses? -: Roses! -: Vanessa! (Barry-flies-after-the-Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! -: Barry? (Barry-is-flying-outside-the-window-of-the-taxi) BARRY: --Roses-are-flowers! VANESSA: --Yes #they-are. BARRY: Flowers #bees #pollen! VANESSA: I-know. That's-why-this-is-the-last-parade. BARRY: Maybe-not. Could-you-ask-him-to-slow-down? VANESSA: Could-you-slow-down? (The-taxi-driver-screeches-to-a-stop-and-Barry-keeps-flying-forward) -: Barry! (Barry-flies-back-to-the-window) BARRY: OK #I-made-a-huge-mistake. This-is-a-total-disaster #all-my-fault. VANESSA: Yes #it-kind-of-is. BARRY: I've-ruined-the-planet. I-wanted-to-help-you -: with-the-flower-shop. I've-made-it-worse. VANESSA: Actually #it's-completely-closed-down. BARRY: I-thought-maybe-you-were-remodeling. -: But-I-have-another-idea #and-it's greater-than-my-previous-ideas-combined. VANESSA: I-don't-want-to-hear-it! BARRY: All-right #they-have-the-roses #the-roses-have-the-pollen. -: I-know-every-bee #plant and-flower-bud-in-this-park. -: All-we-gotta-do-is-get-what-they've-got back-here-with-what-we've-got. -: --Bees. VANESSA: --Park. BARRY: --Pollen! VANESSA: --Flowers. BARRY: --Re-pollination! VANESSA: --Across-the-nation! -: Tournament-of-Roses #Pasadena #California. -: They've-got-nothing but-flowers #floats-and-cotton-candy. -: Security-will-be-tight. BARRY: I-have-an-idea. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Vanessa-is-about-to-board-a-plane-which-has-all-the Roses-on-board. VANESSA: Vanessa-Bloome #FTD. (Holds-out-badge) -: Official-floral-business.-It's-real. SECURITY-GUARD: Sorry #ma'am.-Nice-brooch. =VANESSA== Thank-you.-It-was-a-gift. (Barry-is-revealed-to-be-hiding-inside-the-brooch) (Flash-back-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-discussing-their-plan) BARRY: Once-inside #we-just-pick-the-right-float. VANESSA: How-about-The-Princess-and-the-Pea? -: I-could-be-the-princess #and-you-could-be-the-pea! BARRY: Yes #I-got-it. -: --Where-should-I-sit? GUARD: --What-are-you? BARRY: --I-believe-I'm-the-pea. GUARD: --The-pea? VANESSA: It-goes-under-the-mattresses. GUARD: --Not-in-this-fairy-tale #sweetheart. --I'm-getting-the-marshal. VANESSA: You-do-that! This-whole-parade-is-a-fiasco! -: Let's-see-what-this-baby'll-do. (Vanessa-drives-the-float-through-traffic) GUARD: Hey #what-are-you-doing?! BARRY== Then-all-we-do is-blend-in-with-traffic... -: ...without-arousing-suspicion. -: Once-at-the-airport #there's-no-stopping-us. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-about-to-get-on-a-plane) SECURITY-GUARD: Stop!-Security. -: --You-and-your-insect-pack-your-float? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Has-it-been in-your-possession-the-entire-time? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Would-you-remove-your-shoes? (To-Barry) --Remove-your-stinger. BARRY: --It's-part-of-me. SECURITY-GUARD: I-know.-Just-having-some-fun. Enjoy-your-flight. (Barry-plotting-with-Vanessa) BARRY: Then-if-we're-lucky #we'll-have just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-flying-on-the-plane) Can-you-believe-how-lucky-we-are?-We have-just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job! VANESSA: I-think-this-is-gonna-work. BARRY: It's-got-to-work. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: (On-intercom) Attention #passengers #this-is-Captain-Scott. -: We-have-a-bit-of-bad-weather in-New-York. -: It-looks-like-we'll-experience a-couple-hours-delay. VANESSA: Barry #these-are-cut-flowers with-no-water.-They'll-never-make-it. BARRY: I-gotta-get-up-there and-talk-to-them. VANESSA== Be-careful. (Barry-flies-right-outside-the-cockpit-door) BARRY: Can-I-get-help with-the-Sky-Mall-magazine? I'd-like-to-order-the-talking inflatable-nose-and-ear-hair-trimmer. (The-flight-attendant-opens-the-door-and-walks-out-and-Barry-flies-into-the cockpit-unseen) BARRY: Captain #I'm-in-a-real-situation. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: --What'd-you-say #Hal? CO-PILOT-HAL: --Nothing. (Scott-notices-Barry-and-freaks-out) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No #no #no #Don't-freak-out!-My-entire-species... (Captain-Scott-gets-out-of-his-seat-and-tries-to-suck-Barry-into-a-handheld vacuum) HAL: (To-Scott) What-are-you-doing? (Barry-lands-on-Hals-hair-but-Scott-sees-him.-He-tries-to-suck-up-Barry-but instead-he-sucks-up-Hals-toupee) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: --Wait-a-minute!-I'm-an-attorney! HAL: (Hal-doesn't-know-Barry-is-on-his-head) --Who's-an-attorney? CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Don't-move. (Scott-hits-Hal-in-the-face-with-the-vacuum-in-an-attempt-to-hit-Barry.-Hal is-knocked-out-and-he-falls-on-the-life-raft-button-which-launches-an infalatable-boat-into-Scott #who-gets-knocked-out-and-falls-to-the-floor. They-are-both-uncounscious.) BARRY: (To-himself) Oh #Barry. BARRY: (On-intercom #with-a-Southern-accent) Good-afternoon #passengers. This-is-your-captain. -: Would-a-Miss-Vanessa-Bloome-in-24B please-report-to-the-cockpit? (Vanessa-looks-confused) (Normal-accent) ...And-please-hurry! (Vanessa-opens-the-door-and-sees-the-life-raft-and-the-uncounscious-pilots) VANESSA: What-happened-here? BARRY: I-tried-to-talk-to-them #but then-there-was-a-DustBuster #a-toupee #a-life-raft-exploded. -: Now-one's-bald #one's-in-a-boat #and-they're-both-unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is-that-another-bee-joke? BARRY: --No! -: No-one's-flying-the-plane! BUD-DITCHWATER: (Through-radio-on-plane) This-is-JFK-control-tower #Flight-356. What's-your-status? VANESSA: This-is-Vanessa-Bloome. I'm-a-florist-from-New-York. BUD: Where's-the-pilot? VANESSA: He's-unconscious #and-so-is-the-copilot. BUD: Not-good.-Does-anyone-onboard have-flight-experience? BARRY: As-a-matter-of-fact #there-is. BUD: --Who's-that? BARRY: --Barry-Benson. BUD: From-the-honey-trial?!-Oh #great. BARRY: Vanessa #this-is-nothing-more than-a-big-metal-bee. -: It's-got-giant-wings #huge-engines. VANESSA: I-can't-fly-a-plane. BARRY: --Why-not?-Isn't-John-Travolta-a-pilot? VANESSA: --Yes. BARRY: How-hard-could-it-be? (Vanessa-sits-down-and-flies-for-a-little-bit-but-we-see-lightning-clouds outside-the-window) VANESSA: Wait #Barry! We're-headed-into-some-lightning. (An-ominous-lightning-storm-looms-in-front-of-the-plane) (We-are-now-watching-the-Bee-News) BOB-BUMBLE: This-is-Bob-Bumble.-We-have-some late-breaking-news-from-JFK-Airport #: where-a-suspenseful-scene is-developing. -: Barry-Benson #fresh-from-his-legal-victory... ADAM: That's-Barry! BOB-BUMBLE: ...is-attempting-to-land-a-plane #loaded-with-people #flowers -: and-an-incapacitated-flight-crew. JANET #MARTIN #UNCLE-CAR-AND-ADAM: Flowers?! (The-scene-switches-to-the-human-news) REPORTER: (Talking-with-Bob-Bumble) We-have-a-storm-in-the-area and-two-individuals-at-the-controls -: with-absolutely-no-flight-experience. BOB-BUMBLE: Just-a-minute. There's-a-bee-on-that-plane. BUD: I'm-quite-familiar-with-Mr.-Benson and-his-no-account-compadres. -: They've-done-enough-damage. REPORTER: But-isn't-he-your-only-hope? BUD: Technically #a-bee shouldn't-be-able-to-fly-at-all. -: Their-wings-are-too-small... BARRY: (Through-radio) Haven't-we-heard-this-a-million-times? -: 'The-surface-area-of-the-wings and-body-mass-make-no-sense.'... BOB-BUMBLE: --Get-this-on-the-air! BEE: --Got-it. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --Stand-by. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --We're-going-live! BARRY: (Through-radio-on-TV) ...The-way-we-work-may-be-a-mystery-to-you. -: Making-honey-takes-a-lot-of-bees doing-a-lot-of-small-jobs. -: But-let-me-tell-you-about-a-small-job. -: If-you-do-it-well #it-makes-a-big-difference. -: More-than-we-realized. To-us #to-everyone. -: That's-why-I-want-to-get-bees back-to-working-together. -: That's-the-bee-way! We're-not-made-of-Jell-O. -: We-get-behind-a-fellow. -: --Black-and-yellow! BEES: --Hello! (The-scene-switches-and-Barry-is-teaching-Vanessa-how-to-fly) BARRY: Left #right #down #hover. VANESSA: --Hover? BARRY: --Forget-hover. VANESSA: This-isn't-so-hard. (Pretending-to-honk-the-horn) Beep-beep!-Beep-beep! (A-Lightning-bolt-hits-the-plane-and-autopilot-turns-off) Barry #what-happened?! BARRY: Wait #I-think-we-were on-autopilot-the-whole-time. VANESSA: --That-may-have-been-helping-me. BARRY: --And-now-we're-not! VANESSA: So-it-turns-out-I-cannot-fly-a-plane. (The-plane-plummets-but-we-see-Lou-Lu-Duva-and-the-Pollen-Jocks #along-with multiple-other-bees-flying-towards-the-plane) Lou-Lu-DUva: All-of-you #let's-get behind-this-fellow!-Move-it-out! -: Move-out! (The-scene-switches-back-to-Vanessa-and-Barry-in-the-plane) BARRY: Our-only-chance-is-if-I-do-what-I'd-do #you-copy-me-with-the-wings-of-the-plane! (Barry-sticks-out-his-arms-like-an-airplane-and-flys-in-front-of-Vanessa's face) VANESSA: Don't-have-to-yell. BARRY: I'm-not-yelling! We're-in-a-lot-of-trouble. VANESSA: It's-very-hard-to-concentrate with-that-panicky-tone-in-your-voice! BARRY: It's-not-a-tone.-I'm-panicking! VANESSA: I-can't-do-this! (Barry-slaps-Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa #pull-yourself-together. You-have-to-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: (Slaps-Barry) You-snap-out-of-it. BARRY: (Slaps-Vanessa) -: You-snap-out-of-it. VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! (We-see-that-all-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-under-the-plane) VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --Hold-it! BARRY: --Why?-Come-on #it's-my-turn. VANESSA: How-is-the-plane-flying? (The-plane-is-now-safely-flying) VANESSA: I-don't-know. (Barry's-antennae-rings-like-a-phone.-Barry-picks-up) BARRY: Hello? LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') Benson #got-any-flowers for-a-happy-occasion-in-there? (All-of-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-carrying-the-plane) BARRY: The-Pollen-Jocks! -: They-do-get-behind-a-fellow. LOU-LU-DUVA: --Black-and-yellow. POLLEN-JOCKS: --Hello. LOU-LU-DUVA: All-right #let's-drop-this-tin-can on-the-blacktop. BARRY: Where?-I-can't-see-anything.-Can-you? VANESSA: No #nothing.-It's-all-cloudy. -: Come-on.-You-got-to-think-bee #Barry. BARRY: --Thinking-bee. --Thinking-bee. (On-the-runway-there-are-millions-of-bees-laying-on-their-backs) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: Wait-a-minute. I-think-I'm-feeling-something. VANESSA: --What? BARRY: --I-don't-know.-It's-strong #pulling-me. -: Like-a-27-million-year-old-instinct. -: Bring-the-nose-down. BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! CONTROL-TOWER-OPERATOR: --What-in-the-world-is-on-the-tarmac? BUD: --Get-some-lights-on-that! (It-is-revealed-that-all-the-bees-are-organized-into-a-giant-pulsating flower-formation) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Vanessa #aim-for-the-flower. VANESSA: --OK. BARRY: Out-the-engines.-We're-going-in on-bee-power.-Ready #boys? LOU-LU-DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good.-Good.-Easy #now.-That's-it. -: Land-on-that-flower! -: Ready?-Full-reverse! -: Spin-it-around! (The-plane's-nose-is-pointed-at-a-flower-painted-on-a-nearby-plane) --Not-that-flower!-The-other-one! VANESSA: --Which-one? BARRY: --That-flower. (The-plane-is-now-pointed-at-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt.-He-freaks-out and-tries-to-take-a-picture-of-the-plane) VANESSA: --I'm-aiming-at-the-flower! BARRY: That's-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt. I-mean-the-giant-pulsating-flower made-of-millions-of-bees! (The-plane-hovers-over-the-bee-flower) -: Pull-forward.-Nose-down.-Tail-up. -: Rotate-around-it. VANESSA: --This-is-insane #Barry! BARRY: --This's-the-only-way-I-know-how-to-fly. BUD: Am-I-koo-koo-kachoo #or-is-this-plane flying-in-an-insect-like-pattern? (The-plane-is-unrealistically-hovering-and-spinning-over-the-bee-flower) BARRY: Get-your-nose-in-there.-Don't-be-afraid. Smell-it.-Full-reverse! -: Just-drop-it.-Be-a-part-of-it. -: Aim-for-the-center! -: Now-drop-it-in!-Drop-it-in #woman! -: Come-on #already. (The-bees-scatter-and-the-plane-safely-lands) VANESSA: Barry #we-did-it! You-taught-me-how-to-fly! BARRY: --Yes! (Vanessa-is-about-to-high-five-Barry) No-high-five! VANESSA: --Right. ADAM: Barry #it-worked! Did-you-see-the-giant-flower? BARRY: What-giant-flower?-Where?-Of-course I-saw-the-flower!-That-was-genius! ADAM: --Thank-you. BARRY: --But-we're-not-done-yet. -: Listen #everyone! -: This-runway-is-covered with-the-last-pollen -: from-the-last-flowers available-anywhere-on-Earth. -: That-means-this-is-our-last-chance. -: We're-the-only-ones-who-make-honey #pollinate-flowers-and-dress-like-this. -: If-we're-gonna-survive-as-a-species #this-is-our-moment!-What-do-you-say? -: Are-we-going-to-be-bees #or-just Museum-of-Natural-History-keychains? BEES: We're-bees! BEE-WHO-LIKES-KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then-follow-me!-Except-Keychain. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Hold-on #Barry.-Here. -: You've-earned-this. BARRY: Yeah! -: I'm-a-Pollen-Jock!-And-it's-a-perfect fit.-All-I-gotta-do-are-the-sleeves. (The-Pollen-Jocks-throw-Barry-a-nectar-collecting-gun.-Barry-catches-it) Oh #yeah. JANET: That's-our-Barry. (Barry-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-get-pollen-from-the-flowers-on-the-plane) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-over-NYC) -: (Barry-pollinates-the-flowers-in-Vanessa's-shop-and-then-heads-to-Central Park) BOY-IN-PARK: Mom!-The-bees-are-back! ADAM: (Putting-on-his-Krelman-hat) If-anybody-needs to-make-a-call #now's-the-time. -: I-got-a-feeling-we'll-be working-late-tonight! (The-bee-honey-factories-are-back-up-and-running) (Meanwhile-at-Vanessa's-shop) VANESSA: (To-customer) Here's-your-change.-Have-a-great afternoon!-Can-I-help-who's-next? -: Would-you-like-some-honey-with-that? It-is-bee-approved.-Don't-forget-these. (There-is-a-room-in-the-shop-where-Barry-does-legal-work-for-other-animals. He-is-currently-talking-with-a-Cow) COW: Milk #cream #cheese #it's-all-me. And-I-don't-see-a-nickel! -: Sometimes-I-just-feel like-a-piece-of-meat! BARRY: I-had-no-idea. VANESSA: Barry #I'm-sorry. Have-you-got-a-moment? BARRY: Would-you-excuse-me? My-mosquito-associate-will-help-you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry-I'm-late. COW: He's-a-lawyer-too? MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am #I-was-already-a-blood-sucking-parasite. All-I-needed-was-a-briefcase. VANESSA: Have-a-great-afternoon! -: Barry #I-just-got-this-huge-tulip-order #and-I-can't-get-them-anywhere. BARRY: No-problem #Vannie. Just-leave-it-to-me. VANESSA: You're-a-lifesaver #Barry. Can-I-help-who's-next? BARRY: All-right #scramble #jocks! It's-time-to-fly. VANESSA: Thank-you #Barry! (Ken-walks-by-on-the-sidewalk-and-sees-the-'bee-approved-honey'-in Vanessa's-shop) KEN: That-bee-is-living-my-life!! ANDY: Let-it-go #Kenny. KEN: --When-will-this-nightmare-end?! ANDY: --Let-it-all-go. BARRY: --Beautiful-day-to-fly. POLLEN-JOCK: --Sure-is. BARRY: Between-you-and-me #I-was-dying-to-get-out-of-that-office. (Barry-recreates-the-scene-near-the-beginning-of-the-movie-where-he-flies through-the-box-kite.-The-movie-fades-to-black-and-the-credits-being) [--after-credits;-No-scene-can-be-seen-but-the-characters-can-be-heard talking-over-the-credits--] You-have-got to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend! -: --Thinking-bee! --Me? BARRY: (Talking-over-singer) Hold-it.-Let's-just-stop for-a-second.-Hold-it. -: I'm-sorry.-I'm-sorry #everyone. Can-we-stop-here? SINGER: Oh #BarryBARRY: I'm-not-making-a-major-life-decision during-a-production-number! SINGER: All-right.-Take-ten #everybody. Wrap-it-up #guys. BARRY: I-had-virtually-no-rehearsal-for-that.#scriptscombeemoviebyjerryseinfeldnarratorblackscreenwithtextthesoundofbuzzingbeescanbeheardaccordingtoallknownlawsofaviation #thereisnowayabeeshouldbeabletoflyitswingsaretoosmalltogetitsfatlittlebodyoffthegroundthebee #ofcourse #fliesanywaybecausebeesdontcarewhathumansthinkisimpossiblebarrybensonbarryispickingoutashirtyellow #blackyellow #blackooh -
ok here we go
#Scripts.com Bee-Movie By-Jerry-Seinfeld NARRATOR: (Black-screen-with-text;-The-sound-of-buzzing-bees-can-be-heard) According-to-all-known-laws of-aviation #: there-is-no-way-a-bee should-be-able-to-fly. -: Its-wings-are-too-small-to-get its-fat-little-body-off-the-ground. -: The-bee #of-course #flies-anyway -: because-bees-don't-care what-humans-think-is-impossible. BARRY-BENSON: (Barry-is-picking-out-a-shirt) Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. -: Ooh #black-and-yellow! Let's-shake-it-up-a-little. JANET-BENSON: Barry!-Breakfast-is-ready! BARRY: Coming! -: Hang-on-a-second. (Barry-uses-his-antenna-like-a-phone) -: Hello? ADAM-FLAYMAN: (Through-phone) --Barry? BARRY: --Adam? ADAM: --Can-you-believe-this-is-happening? BARRY: --I-can't.-I'll-pick-you-up. (Barry-flies-down-the-stairs) -: MARTIN-BENSON: Looking-sharp. JANET: Use-the-stairs.-Your-father paid-good-money-for-those. BARRY: Sorry.-I'm-excited. MARTIN: Here's-the-graduate. We're-very-proud-of-you #son. -: A-perfect-report-card #all-B's. JANET: Very-proud. (Rubs-Barry's-hair) BARRY= Ma!-I-got-a-thing-going-here. JANET: --You-got-lint-on-your-fuzz. BARRY: --Ow!-That's-me! JANET: --Wave-to-us!-We'll-be-in-row-118 #000. --Bye! (Barry-flies-out-the-door) JANET: Barry #I-told-you #stop-flying-in-the-house! (Barry-drives-through-the-hive #and-is-waved-at-by-Adam-who-is-reading-a newspaper) BARRY== --Hey #Adam. ADAM: --Hey #Barry. (Adam-gets-in-Barry's-car) -: --Is-that-fuzz-gel? BARRY: --A-little.-Special-day #graduation. ADAM: Never-thought-I'd-make-it. (Barry-pulls-away-from-the-house-and-continues-driving) BARRY: Three-days-grade-school #three-days-high-school... ADAM: Those-were-awkward. BARRY: Three-days-college.-I'm-glad-I-took a-day-and-hitchhiked-around-the-hive. ADAM== You-did-come-back-different. (Barry-and-Adam-pass-by-Artie #who-is-jogging) ARTIE: --Hi #Barry! BARRY: --Artie #growing-a-mustache?-Looks-good. ADAM: --Hear-about-Frankie? BARRY: --Yeah. ADAM== --You-going-to-the-funeral? BARRY: --No #I'm-not-going-to-his-funeral. -: Everybody-knows #sting-someone #you-die. -: Don't-waste-it-on-a-squirrel. Such-a-hothead. ADAM: I-guess-he-could-have just-gotten-out-of-the-way. (The-car-does-a-barrel-roll-on-the-loop-shaped-bridge-and-lands-on-the highway) -: I-love-this-incorporating an-amusement-park-into-our-regular-day. BARRY: I-guess-that's-why-they-say-we-don't-need-vacations. (Barry-parallel-parks-the-car-and-together-they-fly-over-the-graduating students) Boy #quite-a-bit-of-pomp... under-the-circumstances. (Barry-and-Adam-sit-down-and-put-on-their-hats) -: --Well #Adam #today-we-are-men. ADAM: --We-are! BARRY= --Bee-men. =ADAM= --Amen! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry-and-Adam-both-have-a-happy-spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students #faculty #distinguished-bees #: please-welcome-Dean-Buzzwell. DEAN-BUZZWELL: Welcome #New-Hive-Oity graduating-class-of... -: ...9: -: That-concludes-our-ceremonies. -: And-begins-your-career at-Honex-Industries! ADAM: Will-we-pick-our-job-today? (Adam-and-Barry-get-into-a-tour-bus) BARRY= I-heard-it's-just-orientation. (Tour-buses-rise-out-of-the-ground-and-the-students-are-automatically loaded-into-the-buses) TOUR-GUIDE: Heads-up!-Here-we-go. ANNOUNCER: Keep-your-hands-and-antennas inside-the-tram-at-all-times. BARRY: --Wonder-what-it'll-be-like? ADAM: --A-little-scary. TOUR-GUIDE== Welcome-to-Honex #a-division-of-Honesco -: and-a-part-of-the-Hexagon-Group. Barry: This-is-it! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The-bus-drives-down-a-road-an-on-either-side-are-the-Bee's-massive complicated-Honey-making-machines) TOUR-GUIDE: We-know-that-you #as-a-bee #have-worked-your-whole-life -: to-get-to-the-point-where-you can-work-for-your-whole-life. -: Honey-begins-when-our-valiant-Pollen Jocks-bring-the-nectar-to-the-hive. -: Our-top-secret-formula -: is-automatically-color-corrected #scent-adjusted-and-bubble-contoured -: into-this-soothing-sweet-syrup -: with-its-distinctive golden-glow-you-know-as... EVERYONE-ON-BUS: Honey! (The-guide-has-been-collecting-honey-into-a-bottle-and-she-throws-it-into the-crowd-on-the-bus-and-it-is-caught-by-a-girl-in-the-back) ADAM: --That-girl-was-hot. BARRY: --She's-my-cousin! ADAM== --She-is? BARRY: --Yes #we're-all-cousins. ADAM: --Right.-You're-right. TOUR-GUIDE: --At-Honex #we-constantly-strive -: to-improve-every-aspect of-bee-existence. -: These-bees-are-stress-testing a-new-helmet-technology. (The-bus-passes-by-a-Bee-wearing-a-helmet-who-is-being-smashed-into-the ground-with-fly-swatters #newspapers-and-boots.-He-lifts-a-thumbs-up-but you-can-hear-him-groan) -: ADAM== --What-do-you-think-he-makes? BARRY: --Not-enough. TOUR-GUIDE: Here-we-have-our-latest-advancement #the-Krelman. (They-pass-by-a-turning-wheel-with-Bees-standing-on-pegs #who-are-each wearing-a-finger-shaped-hat) Barry: --Wow #What-does-that-do? TOUR-GUIDE: --Catches-that-little-strand-of-honey -: that-hangs-after-you-pour-it. Saves-us-millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can-anyone-work-on-the-Krelman? TOUR-GUIDE: Of-course.-Most-bee-jobs-are small-ones. But-bees-know-that-every-small-job #if-it's-done-well #means-a-lot. -: But-choose-carefully -: because-you'll-stay-in-the-job you-pick-for-the-rest-of-your-life. (Everyone-claps-except-for-Barry) BARRY: The-same-job-the-rest-of-your-life? I-didn't-know-that. ADAM: What's-the-difference? TOUR-GUIDE: You'll-be-happy-to-know-that-bees #as-a-species #haven't-had-one-day-off -: in-27-million-years. BARRY: (Upset) So-you'll-just-work-us-to-death? -: We'll-sure-try. (Everyone-on-the-bus-laughs-except-Barry.-Barry-and-Adam-are-walking-back home-together) ADAM: Wow!-That-blew-my-mind! BARRY: 'What's-the-difference?' How-can-you-say-that? -: One-job-forever? That's-an-insane-choice-to-have-to-make. ADAM: I'm-relieved.-Now-we-only-have to-make-one-decision-in-life. BARRY: But #Adam #how-could-they never-have-told-us-that? ADAM: Why-would-you-question-anything? We're-bees. -: We're-the-most-perfectly functioning-society-on-Earth. BARRY: You-ever-think-maybe-things work-a-little-too-well-here? ADAM: Like-what?-Give-me-one-example. (Barry-and-Adam-stop-walking-and-it-is-revealed-to-the-audience-that hundreds-of-cars-are-speeding-by-and-narrowly-missing-them-in-perfect unison) BARRY: I-don't-know.-But-you-know what-I'm-talking-about. ANNOUNCER: Please-clear-the-gate. Royal-Nectar-Force-on-approach. BARRY: Wait-a-second.-Check-it-out. (The-Pollen-jocks-fly-in #circle-around-and-landing-in-line) -: --Hey #those-are-Pollen-Jocks! ADAM: --Wow. -: I've-never-seen-them-this-close. BARRY: They-know-what-it's-like outside-the-hive. ADAM: Yeah #but-some-don't-come-back. GIRL-BEES: --Hey #Jocks! --Hi #Jocks! (The-Pollen-Jocks-hook-up-their-backpacks-to-machines-that-pump-the-nectar to-trucks #which-drive-away) LOU-LO-DUVA: You-guys-did-great! -: You're-monsters! You're-sky-freaks! I-love-it! (Punching-the-Pollen-Jocks-in-joy) I-love-it! ADAM: --I-wonder-where-they-were. BARRY: --I-don't-know. -: Their-day's-not-planned. -: Outside-the-hive #flying-who-knows where #doing-who-knows-what. -: You-can't-just-decide-to-be-a-Pollen Jock.-You-have-to-be-bred-for-that. ADAM== Right. (Barry-and-Adam-are-covered-in-some-pollen-that-floated-off-of-the-Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look-at-that.-That's-more-pollen than-you-and-I-will-see-in-a-lifetime. ADAM: It's-just-a-status-symbol. Bees-make-too-much-of-it. BARRY: Perhaps.-Unless-you're-wearing-it and-the-ladies-see-you-wearing-it. (Barry-waves-at-2-girls-standing-a-little-away-from-them) ADAM== Those-ladies? Aren't-they-our-cousins-too? BARRY: Distant.-Distant. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Look-at-these-two. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Couple-of-Hive-Harrys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --Let's-have-fun-with-them. GIRL-BEE-#1: It-must-be-dangerous being-a-Pollen-Jock. BARRY: Yeah.-Once-a-bear-pinned-me against-a-mushroom! -: He-had-a-paw-on-my-throat #and-with-the-other #he-was-slapping-me! (Slaps-Adam-with-his-hand-to-represent-his-scenario) GIRL-BEE-#2: --Oh #my! BARRY: --I-never-thought-I'd-knock-him-out. GIRL-BEE-#1: (Looking-at-Adam) What-were-you-doing-during-this? ADAM: Obviously-I-was-trying-to-alert-the-authorities. BARRY: I-can-autograph-that. (The-pollen-jocks-walk-up-to-Barry-and-Adam #they-pretend-that-Barry-and Adam-really-are-pollen-jocks.) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: A-little-gusty-out-there-today #wasn't-it #comrades? BARRY: Yeah.-Gusty. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-hitting-a-sunflower-patch six-miles-from-here-tomorrow. BARRY: --Six-miles #huh? ADAM: --Barry! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: A-puddle-jump-for-us #but-maybe-you're-not-up-for-it. BARRY: --Maybe-I-am. ADAM: --You-are-not! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-going-0900-at-J-Gate. -: What-do-you-think #buzzy-boy? Are-you-bee-enough? BARRY: I-might-be.-It-all-depends on-what-0900-means. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-looking-out-on-the-hive-city-from-his-balcony-at night) MARTIN: Hey #Honex! BARRY: Dad #you-surprised-me. MARTIN: You-decide-what-you're-interested-in? BARRY: --Well #there's-a-lot-of-choices. --But-you-only-get-one. -: Do-you-ever-get-bored doing-the-same-job-every-day? MARTIN: Son #let-me-tell-you-about-stirring. -: You-grab-that-stick #and-you-just move-it-around #and-you-stir-it-around. -: You-get-yourself-into-a-rhythm. It's-a-beautiful-thing. BARRY: You-know #Dad #the-more-I-think-about-it #: maybe-the-honey-field just-isn't-right-for-me. MARTIN: You-were-thinking-of-what #making-balloon-animals? -: That's-a-bad-job for-a-guy-with-a-stinger. -: Janet #your-son's-not-sure he-wants-to-go-into-honey! JANET: --Barry #you-are-so-funny-sometimes. BARRY: --I'm-not-trying-to-be-funny. MARTIN: You're-not-funny!-You're-going into-honey.-Our-son #the-stirrer! JANET: --You're-gonna-be-a-stirrer? BARRY: --No-one's-listening-to-me! MARTIN: Wait-till-you-see-the-sticks-I-have. BARRY: I-could-say-anything-right-now. I'm-gonna-get-an-ant-tattoo! (Barry's-parents-don't-listen-to-him-and-continue-to-ramble-on) MARTIN: Let's-open-some-honey-and-celebrate! BARRY: Maybe-I'll-pierce-my-thorax. Shave-my-antennae. -: Shack-up-with-a-grasshopper.-Get a-gold-tooth-and-call-everybody-'dawg'! JANET: I'm-so-proud. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-and-Adam-waiting-in-line-to-get-a-job) ADAM: --We're-starting-work-today! BARRY: --Today's-the-day. ADAM: Come-on!-All-the-good-jobs will-be-gone. BARRY: Yeah #right. JOB-LISTER: Pollen-counting #stunt-bee #pouring #stirrer #front-desk #hair-removal... BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Is-it-still-available? JOB-LISTER: --Hang-on.-Two-left! -: One-of-them's-yours!-Congratulations! Step-to-the-side. ADAM: --What'd-you-get? BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Picking-crud-out.-Stellar! (He-walks-away) ADAM: Wow! JOB-LISTER: Couple-of-newbies? ADAM: Yes #sir!-Our-first-day!-We-are-ready! JOB-LISTER: Make-your-choice. (Adam-and-Barry-look-up-at-the-job-board.-There-are-hundreds-of-constantly changing-panels-that-contain-available-or-unavailable-jobs.-It-looks-very confusing) ADAM: --You-want-to-go-first? BARRY: --No #you-go. ADAM: Oh #my.-What's-available? JOB-LISTER: Restroom-attendant's-open #not-for-the-reason-you-think. ADAM: --Any-chance-of-getting-the-Krelman? JOB-LISTER: --Sure #you're-on. (Puts-the-Krelman-finger-hat-on-Adam's-head) (Suddenly-the-sign-for-Krelman-closes-out) -: I'm-sorry #the-Krelman-just-closed-out. (Takes-Adam's-hat-off) Wax-monkey's-always-open. ADAM: The-Krelman-opened-up-again. -: What-happened? JOB-LISTER: A-bee-died.-Makes-an-opening.-See? He's-dead.-Another-dead-one. -: Deady.-Deadified.-Two-more-dead. -: Dead-from-the-neck-up. Dead-from-the-neck-down.-That's-life! ADAM: Oh #this-is-so-hard! (Barry-remembers-what-the-Pollen-Jock-offered-him-and-he-flies-off) Heating #cooling #stunt-bee #pourer #stirrer #: humming #inspector-number-seven #lint-coordinator #stripe-supervisor #: mite-wrangler.-Barry #what do-you-think-I-should...-Barry? (Adam-turns-around-and-sees-Barry-flying-away) -: Barry! POLLEN-JOCK: All-right #we've-got-the-sunflower-patch in-quadrant-nine... ADAM: (Through-phone) What-happened-to-you? Where-are-you? BARRY: --I'm-going-out. ADAM: --Out?-Out-where? BARRY: --Out-there. ADAM: --Oh #no! BARRY: I-have-to #before-I-go to-work-for-the-rest-of-my-life. ADAM: You're-gonna-die!-You're-crazy! (Barry-hangs-up) Hello? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Another-call-coming-in. -: If-anyone's-feeling-brave #there's-a-Korean-deli-on-83rd -: that-gets-their-roses-today. BARRY: Hey #guys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1-== --Look-at-that. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Isn't-that-the-kid-we-saw-yesterday? LOU-LO-DUVA: Hold-it #son #flight-deck's-restricted. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: It's-OK #Lou.-We're-gonna-take-him-up. (Puts-hand-on-Barry's-shoulder) LOU-LO-DUVA: (To-Barry)-Really?-Feeling-lucky #are-you? BEE-WITH-CLIPBOARD: (To-Barry)-Sign-here #here.-Just-initial-that. -: --Thank-you. LOU-LO-DUVA: --OK. -: You-got-a-rain-advisory-today #: and-as-you-all-know #bees-cannot-fly-in-rain. -: So-be-careful.-As-always #watch-your-brooms #: hockey-sticks #dogs #birds #bears-and-bats. -: Also #I-got-a-couple-of-reports of-root-beer-being-poured-on-us. -: Murphy's-in-a-home-because-of-it #babbling-like-a-cicada! BARRY: --That's-awful. LOU-LO-DUVA: (Still-talking-through-megaphone) --And-a-reminder-for-you-rookies #: bee-law-number-one #absolutely-no-talking-to-humans! -: All-right #launch-positions! POLLEN-JOCKS: (The-Pollen-Jocks-run-into-formation) -: Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz! LOU-LU-DUVA: Black-and-yellow! POLLEN-JOCKS: Hello! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (To-Barry)You-ready-for-this #hot-shot? BARRY: Yeah.-Yeah #bring-it-on. POLLEN-JOCK's: Wind #check. -: --Antennae #check. --Nectar-pack #check. -: --Wings #check. --Stinger #check. BARRY: Scared-out-of-my-shorts #check. LOU-LO-DUVA: OK #ladies #: let's-move-it-out! -: Pound-those-petunias #you-striped-stem-suckers! -: All-of-you #drain-those-flowers! (The-pollen-jocks-fly-out-of-the-hive) BARRY: Wow!-I'm-out! -: I-can't-believe-I'm-out! -: So-blue. -: I-feel-so-fast-and-free! -: Box-kite! (Barry-flies-through-the-kite) -: Wow! -: Flowers! (A-pollen-jock-puts-on-some-high-tech-goggles-that-shows-flowers-similar-to heat-sink-goggles.) POLLEN-JOCK: This-is-Blue-Leader. We-have-roses-visual. -: Bring-it-around-30-degrees-and-hold. -: Roses! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: 30-degrees #roger.-Bringing-it-around. -: Stand-to-the-side #kid. It's-got-a-bit-of-a-kick. (The-pollen-jock-fires-a-high-tech-gun-at-the-flower #shooting-tubes-that suck-up-the-nectar-from-the-flower-and-collects-it-into-a-pouch-on-the-gun) BARRY: That-is-one-nectar-collector! POLLEN-JOCK-#1== --Ever-see-pollination-up-close? BARRY: --No #sir. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Barry-and-the-Pollen-jock-fly-over-the-field #the-pollen-jock-sprinkles pollen-as-he-goes) -: I-pick-up-some-pollen-here #sprinkle-it over-here.-Maybe-a-dash-over-there #: a-pinch-on-that-one. See-that?-It's-a-little-bit-of-magic. BARRY: That's-amazing.-Why-do-we-do-that? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: That's-pollen-power.-More-pollen #more flowers #more-nectar #more-honey-for-us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: I'm-picking-up-a-lot-of-bright-yellow. could-be-daisies.-Don't-we-need-those? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Copy-that-visual. -: Wait.-One-of-these-flowers seems-to-be-on-the-move. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Say-again?-You're-reporting a-moving-flower? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Affirmative. (The-Pollen-jocks-land-near-the-'flowers'-which #to-the-audience-are obviously-just-tennis-balls) KEN: (In-the-distance)-That-was-on-the-line! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: This-is-the-coolest.-What-is-it? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-know #but-I'm-loving-this-color. -: It-smells-good. Not-like-a-flower #but-I-like-it. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Yeah #fuzzy. (Sticks-his-hand-on-the-ball-but-it-gets-stuck) POLLEN-JOCK-#3== Chemical-y. (The-pollen-jock-finally-gets-his-hand-free-from-the-tennis-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Careful #guys.-It's-a-little-grabby. (The-pollen-jocks-turn-around-and-see-Barry-lying-his-entire-body-on-top-of one-of-the-tennis-balls) POLLEN-JOCK-#2: My-sweet-lord-of-bees! POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Candy-brain #get-off-there! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Pointing-upwards) Problem! (A-human-hand-reaches-down-and-grabs-the-tennis-ball-that-Barry-is-stuck to) BARRY: --Guys! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --This-could-be-bad. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Affirmative. (Vanessa-Bloome-starts-bouncing-the-tennis-ball #not-knowing-Barry-is-stick to-it) BARRY== Very-close. -: Gonna-hurt. -: Mama's-little-boy. (Barry-is-being-hit-back-and-forth-by-two-humans-playing-tennis.-He-is still-stuck-to-the-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: You-are-way-out-of-position #rookie! KEN: Coming-in-at-you-like-a-MISSILE! (Barry-flies-past-the-pollen-jocks #still-stuck-to-the-ball) BARRY: (In-slow-motion) Help-me! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-think-these-are-flowers. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: --Should-we-tell-him? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --I-think-he-knows. BARRY: What-is-this?! KEN: Match-point! -: You-can-start-packing-up #honey #because-you're-about-to-EAT-IT! (A-pollen-jock-coughs-which-confused-Ken-and-he-hits-the-ball-the-wrong-way with-Barry-stuck-to-it-and-it-goes-flying-into-the-city) BARRY: Yowser! (Barry-bounces-around-town-and-gets-stuck-in-the-engine-of-a-car.-He-flies into-the-air-conditioner-and-sees-a-bug-that-was-frozen-in-there) BARRY: Ew #gross. (The-man-driving-the-car-turns-on-the-air-conditioner-which-blows-Barry into-the-car) GIRL-IN-CAR: There's-a-bee-in-the-car! -: --Do-something! DAD-DRIVING-CAR: --I'm-driving! BABY-GIRL: (Waving-at-Barry) --Hi #bee. (Barry-smiles-and-waves-at-the-baby-girl) GUY-IN-BACK-OF-CAR: --He's-back-here! -: He's-going-to-sting-me! GIRL-IN-CAR: Nobody-move.-If-you-don't-move #he-won't-sting-you.-Freeze! (Barry-freezes-as-well #hovering-in-the-middle-of-the-car) -: GRANDMA-IN-CAR== He-blinked! (The-grandma-whips-out-some-bee-spray-and-sprays-everywhere-in-the-car #climbing-into-the-front-seat #still-trying-to-spray-Barry) GIRL-IN-CAR: Spray-him #Granny! DAD-DRIVING-THE-CAR: What-are-you-doing?! (Barry-escapes-the-car-through-the-air-conditioner-and-is-flying-high-above the-ground #safe.) BARRY: Wow...-the-tension-level out-here-is-unbelievable. (Barry-sees-that-storm-clouds-are-gathering-and-he-can-see-rain-clouds moving-into-this-direction) -: I-gotta-get-home. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-rain-drop-hits-Barry-and-one-of-his-wings-is-damaged) -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-second-rain-drop-hits-Barry-again-and-he-spirals-downwards) Mayday!-Mayday!-Bee-going-down! (WW2-plane-sound-effects-are-played-as-he-plummets #and-he-crash-lands-on-a plant-inside-an-apartment-near-the-window) VANESSA-BLOOME: Ken #could-you-close the-window-please? KEN== Hey #check-out-my-new-resume. I-made-it-into-a-fold-out-brochure. -: You-see? (Folds-brochure-resume-out) Folds-out. (Ken-closes-the-window #trapping-Barry-inside) BARRY: Oh #no.-More-humans.-I-don't-need-this. (Barry-tries-to-fly-away-but-smashes-into-the-window-and-falls-again) -: What-was-that? (Barry-keeps-trying-to-fly-out-the-window-but-he-keeps-being-knocked-back because-the-window-is-closed) Maybe-this-time.-This-time.-This-time. This-time!-This-time!-This... -: Drapes! (Barry-taps-the-glass.-He-doesn't-understand-what-it-is) That-is-diabolical. KEN: It's-fantastic.-It's-got-all-my-special skills #even-my-top-ten-favorite-movies. ANDY: What's-number-one?-Star-Wars? KEN: Nah #I-don't-go-for-that... (Ken-makes-finger-guns-and-makes-'pew-pew-pew'-sounds-and-then-stops) -: ...kind-of-stuff. BARRY: No-wonder-we-shouldn't-talk-to-them. They're-out-of-their-minds. KEN: When-I-leave-a-job-interview #they're flabbergasted #can't-believe-what-I-say. BARRY: (Looking-at-the-light-on-the-ceiling) There's-the-sun.-Maybe-that's-a-way-out. (Starts-flying-towards-the-lightbulb) -: I-don't-remember-the-sun having-a-big-75-on-it. (Barry-hits-the-lightbulb-and-falls-into-the-dip-on-the-table-that-the humans-are-sitting-at) KEN: I-predicted-global-warming. -: I-could-feel-it-getting-hotter. At-first-I-thought-it-was-just-me. (Andy-dips-a-chip-into-the-bowl-and-scoops-up-some-dip-with-Barry-on-it-and is-about-to-put-it-in-his-mouth) -: Wait!-Stop!-Bee! (Andy-drops-the-chip-with-Barry-in-fear-and-backs-away.-All-the-humans freak-out) -: Stand-back.-These-are-winter-boots. (Ken-has-winter-boots-on-his-hands-and-he-is-about-to-smash-the-bee-but Vanessa-saves-him-last-second) VANESSA: Wait! -: Don't-kill-him! (Vanessa-puts-Barry-in-a-glass-to-protect-him) KEN: You-know-I'm-allergic-to-them! This-thing-could-kill-me! VANESSA: Why-does-his-life-have less-value-than-yours? KEN: Why-does-his-life-have-any-less-value than-mine?-Is-that-your-statement? VANESSA: I'm-just-saying-all-life-has-value.-You don't-know-what-he's-capable-of-feeling. (Vanessa-picks-up-Ken's-brochure-and-puts-it-under-the-glass-so-she-can carry-Barry-back-to-the-window.-Barry-looks-at-Vanessa-in-amazement) KEN: My-brochure! VANESSA: There-you-go #little-guy. (Vanessa-opens-the-window-and-lets-Barry-out-but-Barry-stays-back-and-is still-shocked-that-a-human-saved-his-life) KEN: I'm-not-scared-of-him. It's-an-allergic-thing. VANESSA: Put-that-on-your-resume-brochure. KEN: My-whole-face-could-puff-up. ANDY: Make-it-one-of-your-special-skills. KEN: Knocking-someone-out is-also-a-special-skill. (Ken-walks-to-the-door) Right.-Bye #Vanessa.-Thanks. -: --Vanessa #next-week?-Yogurt-night? VANESSA: --Sure #Ken.-You-know #whatever. -: (Vanessa-tries-to-close-door) KEN== --You-could-put-carob-chips-on-there. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door-but-Ken-opens-it-again) KEN: --Supposed-to-be-less-calories. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door) (Fast-forward-to-the-next-day #Barry-is-still-inside-the-house.-He-flies into-the-kitchen-where-Vanessa-is-doing-dishes) BARRY== (Talking-to-himself) I-gotta-say-something. -: She-saved-my-life. I-gotta-say-something. -: All-right #here-it-goes. (Turns-back) Nah. -: What-would-I-say? -: I-could-really-get-in-trouble. -: It's-a-bee-law. You're-not-supposed-to-talk-to-a-human. -: I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this. -: I've-got-to. (Barry-disguises-himself-as-a-character-on-a-food-can-as-Vanessa-walks-by again) -: Oh #I-can't-do-it.-Come-on! -: No.-Yes.-No. -: Do-it.-I-can't. -: How-should-I-start-it? (Barry-strikes-a-pose-and-wiggles-his-eyebrows) 'You-like-jazz?' No #that's-no-good. (Vanessa-is-about-to-walk-past-Barry) Here-she-comes!-Speak #you-fool! -: ...Hi! (Vanessa-gasps-and-drops-the-dishes-in-fright-and-notices-Barry-on-the counter) -: I'm-sorry. VANESSA: --You're-talking. BARRY: --Yes #I-know. VANESSA: (Pointing-at-Barry) You're-talking! BARRY: I'm-so-sorry. VANESSA: No #it's-OK.-It's-fine. I-know-I'm-dreaming. -: But-I-don't-recall-going-to-bed. BARRY: Well #I'm-sure-this is-very-disconcerting. VANESSA: This-is-a-bit-of-a-surprise-to-me. I-mean #you're-a-bee! BARRY: I-am.-And-I'm-not-supposed to-be-doing-this #(Pointing-to-the-living-room-where-Ken-tried-to-kill-him-last-night) but-they-were-all-trying-to-kill-me. -: And-if-it-wasn't-for-you... -: I-had-to-thank-you. It's-just-how-I-was-raised. (Vanessa-stabs-her-hand-with-a-fork-to-test-whether-she's-dreaming-or-not) -: That-was-a-little-weird. VANESSA: --I'm-talking-with-a-bee. BARRY: --Yeah. VANESSA: I'm-talking-to-a-bee. And-the-bee-is-talking-to-me! BARRY: I-just-want-to-say-I'm-grateful. I'll-leave-now. (Barry-turns-to-leave) VANESSA: --Wait!-How-did-you-learn-to-do-that? BARRY: (Flying-back) --What? VANESSA: The-talking...thing. BARRY: Same-way-you-did #I-guess. 'Mama #Dada #honey.'-You-pick-it-up. VANESSA: --That's-very-funny. BARRY: --Yeah. -: Bees-are-funny.-If-we-didn't-laugh #we'd-cry-with-what-we-have-to-deal-with. -: Anyway... VANESSA: Can-I... -: ...get-you-something? BARRY: --Like-what? VANESSA: I-don't-know.-I-mean... I-don't-know.-Coffee? BARRY: I-don't-want-to-put-you-out. VANESSA: It's-no-trouble.-It-takes-two-minutes. -: --It's-just-coffee. BARRY: --I-hate-to-impose. (Vanessa-starts-making-coffee) VANESSA: --Don't-be-ridiculous! BARRY: --Actually #I-would-love-a-cup. VANESSA: Hey #you-want-rum-cake? BARRY: --I-shouldn't. VANESSA: --Have-some. BARRY: --No #I-can't. VANESSA: --Come-on! BARRY: I'm-trying-to-lose-a-couple-micrograms. VANESSA: --Where? BARRY: --These-stripes-don't-help. VANESSA: You-look-great! BARRY: I-don't-know-if-you-know anything-about-fashion. -: Are-you-all-right? VANESSA: (Pouring-coffee-on-the-floor-and-missing-the-cup-completely) No. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-sitting-together-at-a-table on-top-of-the-apartment-building-drinking-coffee) -: BARRY== He's-making-the-tie-in-the-cab as-they're-flying-up-Madison. -: He-finally-gets-there. -: He-runs-up-the-steps-into-the-church. The-wedding-is-on. -: And-he-says #'Watermelon? I-thought-you-said-Guatemalan. -: Why-would-I-marry-a-watermelon?' (Barry-laughs-but-Vanessa-looks-confused) VANESSA: Is-that-a-bee-joke? BARRY: That's-the-kind-of-stuff-we-do. VANESSA: Yeah #different. -: So #what-are-you-gonna-do #Barry? (Barry-stands-on-top-of-a-sugar-cube-floating-in-his-coffee-and-paddles-it around-with-a-straw-like-it's-a-gondola) BARRY: About-work?-I-don't-know. -: I-want-to-do-my-part-for-the-hive #but-I-can't-do-it-the-way-they-want. VANESSA: I-know-how-you-feel. BARRY: --You-do? VANESSA: --Sure. -: My-parents-wanted-me-to-be-a-lawyer-or a-doctor #but-I-wanted-to-be-a-florist. BARRY: --Really? VANESSA: --My-only-interest-is-flowers. BARRY: Our-new-queen-was-just-elected with-that-same-campaign-slogan. -: Anyway #if-you-look... (Barry-points-to-a-tree-in-the-middle-of-Central-Park) -: There's-my-hive-right-there.-See-it? VANESSA: You're-in-Sheep-Meadow! BARRY: Yes!-I'm-right-off-the-Turtle-Pond! VANESSA: No-way!-I-know-that-area. I-lost-a-toe-ring-there-once. BARRY: --Why-do-girls-put-rings-on-their-toes? VANESSA: --Why-not? BARRY: --It's-like-putting-a-hat-on-your-knee. VANESSA: --Maybe-I'll-try-that. (A-custodian-installing-a-lightbulb-looks-over-at-them-but-to-his perspective-it-looks-like-Vanessa-is-talking-to-a-cup-of-coffee-on-the table) CUSTODIAN: --You-all-right #ma'am? VANESSA: --Oh #yeah.-Fine. -: Just-having-two-cups-of-coffee! BARRY: Anyway #this-has-been-great. Thanks-for-the-coffee. VANESSA== Yeah #it's-no-trouble. BARRY: Sorry-I-couldn't-finish-it.-If-I-did #I'd-be-up-the-rest-of-my-life. (Barry-points-towards-the-rum-cake) -: Can-I-take-a-piece-of-this-with-me? VANESSA: Sure!-Here #have-a-crumb. (Vanessa-hands-Barry-a-crumb-but-it-is-still-pretty-big-for-Barry) BARRY: --Thanks! VANESSA: --Yeah. BARRY: All-right.-Well #then... I-guess-I'll-see-you-around. -: Or-not. VANESSA: OK #Barry... BARRY: And-thank-you so-much-again...-for-before. VANESSA: Oh #that?-That-was-nothing. BARRY: Well #not-nothing #but...-Anyway... (Vanessa-and-Barry-hold-hands #but-Vanessa-has-to-hold-out-a-finger-because her-hands-is-to-big-and-Barry-holds-that) (The-custodian-looks-over-again-and-it-appears-Vanessa-is-laughing-at-her coffee-again.-The-lightbulb-that-he-was-screwing-in-sparks-and-he-falls-off the-ladder) (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-two-Bee-Scientists-testing-out-a-parachute in-a-Honex-wind-tunnel) BEE-SCIENTIST-#1: This-can't-possibly-work. BEE-SCIENTIST-#2: He's-all-set-to-go. We-may-as-well-try-it. -: OK #Dave #pull-the-chute. (Dave-pulls-the-chute-and-the-wind-slams-him-against-the-wall-and-he-falls on-his-face.The-camera-pans-over-and-we-see-Barry-and-Adam-walking together) ADAM: --Sounds-amazing. BARRY: --It-was-amazing! -: It-was-the-scariest #happiest-moment-of-my-life. ADAM: Humans!-I-can't-believe you-were-with-humans! -: Giant #scary-humans! What-were-they-like? BARRY: Huge-and-crazy.-They-talk-crazy. -: They-eat-crazy-giant-things. They-drive-crazy. ADAM: --Do-they-try-and-kill-you #like-on-TV? BARRY: --Some-of-them.-But-some-of-them-don't. ADAM: --How'd-you-get-back? BARRY: --Poodle. ADAM: You-did-it #and-I'm-glad.-You-saw whatever-you-wanted-to-see. -: You-had-your-'experience.'-Now-you can-pick-out-your-job-and-be-normal. BARRY: --Well... ADAM: --Well? BARRY: Well #I-met-someone. ADAM: You-did?-Was-she-Bee-ish? -: --A-wasp?!-Your-parents-will-kill-you! BARRY: --No #no #no #not-a-wasp. ADAM: --Spider? BARRY: --I'm-not-attracted-to-spiders. -: I-know #for-everyone-else #it's-the-hottest-thing #with-the-eight-legs-and-all. -: I-can't-get-by-that-face. ADAM: So-who-is-she? BARRY: She's...-human. ADAM: No #no.-That's-a-bee-law. You-wouldn't-break-a-bee-law. BARRY: --Her-name's-Vanessa. (Adam-puts-his-head-in-his-hands) ADAM: --Oh #boy. BARRY== She's-so-nice.-And-she's-a-florist! ADAM: Oh #no!-You're-dating-a-human-florist! BARRY: We're-not-dating. ADAM: You're-flying-outside-the-hive #talking to-humans-that-attack-our-homes -: with-power-washers-and-M-80s! That's-one-eighth-a-stick-of-dynamite! BARRY: She-saved-my-life! And-she-understands-me. ADAM: This-is-over! BARRY: Eat-this. (Barry-gives-Adam-a-piece-of-the-crumb-that-he-got-from-Vanessa.-Adam-eats it) ADAM: (Adam's-tone-changes) This-is-not-over!-What-was-that? BARRY: --They-call-it-a-crumb. ADAM: --It-was-so-stingin'-stripey! BARRY: And-that's-not-what-they-eat. That's-what-falls-off-what-they-eat! -: --You-know-what-a-Cinnabon-is? ADAM: --No. (Adam-opens-a-door-behind-him-and-he-pulls-Barry-in) BARRY: It's-bread-and-cinnamon-and-frosting. ADAM: Be-quiet! BARRY: They-heat-it-up... ADAM: Sit-down! (Adam-forces-Barry-to-sit-down) BARRY: (Still-rambling-about-Cinnabons) ...really-hot! (Adam-grabs-Barry-by-the-shoulders) ADAM: --Listen-to-me! -: We-are-not-them!-We're-us. There's-us-and-there's-them! BARRY== Yes #but-who-can-deny the-heart-that-is-yearning? ADAM: There's-no-yearning. Stop-yearning.-Listen-to-me! -: You-have-got-to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend.-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEE: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEES-AND-ADAM: Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-is-laying-on-a-raft-in-a-pool-full-of-honey. He-is-wearing-sunglasses) JANET: There-he-is.-He's-in-the-pool. MARTIN: You-know-what-your-problem-is #Barry? (Barry-pulls-down-his-sunglasses-and-he-looks-annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I-gotta-start-thinking-bee? JANET: How-much-longer-will-this-go-on? MARTIN: It's-been-three-days! Why-aren't-you-working? (Puts-sunglasses-back-on) BARRY: I've-got-a-lot-of-big-life-decisions to-think-about. MARTIN: What-life?-You-have-no-life! You-have-no-job.-You're-barely-a-bee! JANET: Would-it-kill-you to-make-a-little-honey? (Barry-rolls-off-the-raft-and-sinks-into-the-honey-pool) -: Barry #come-out. Your-father's-talking-to-you. -: Martin #would-you-talk-to-him? MARTIN: Barry #I'm-talking-to-you! (Barry-keeps-sinking-into-the-honey-until-he-is-suddenly-in-Central-Park having-a-picnic-with-Vanessa) (Barry-has-a-cup-of-honey-and-he-clinks-his-glass-with-Vanessas.-Suddenly-a mosquito-lands-on-Vanessa-and-she-slaps-it #killing-it.-They-both-gasp-but then-burst-out-laughing) VANESSA: You-coming? (The-camera-pans-over-and-Vanessa-is-climbing-into-a-small-yellow-airplane) BARRY: Got-everything? VANESSA: All-set! BARRY: Go-ahead.-I'll-catch-up. (Vanessa-lifts-off-and-flies-ahead) VANESSA: Don't-be-too-long. (Barry-catches-up-with-Vanessa-and-he-sticks-out-his-arms-like-ana-irplane. He-rolls-from-side-to-side #and-Vanessa-copies-him-with-the-airplane) VANESSA: Watch-this! (Barry-stays-back-and-watches-as-Vanessa-draws-a-heart-in-the-air-using pink-smoke-from-the-plane #but-on-the-last-loop-the-loop-she-suddenly crashes-into-a-mountain-and-the-plane-explodes.-The-destroyed-plane-falls into-some-rocks-and-explodes-a-second-time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As-Barry-is-yelling-his-mouth-fills-with-honey-and-he-wakes-up #discovering-that-he-was-just-day-dreaming.-He-slowly-sinks-back-into-the honey-pool) MARTIN: --We're-still-here. JANET: --I-told-you-not-to-yell-at-him. -: He-doesn't-respond-to-yelling! MARTIN: --Then-why-yell-at-me? JANET: --Because-you-don't-listen! MARTIN: I'm-not-listening-to-this. BARRY: Sorry #I've-gotta-go. MARTIN: --Where-are-you-going? BARRY: --I'm-meeting-a-friend. JANET: A-girl?-Is-this-why-you-can't-decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry-flies-out-the-door-and-Martin-shakes-his-head) -: JANET== I-just-hope-she's-Bee-ish. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-sitting-on-Vanessa's-shoulder-and-she-is closing-up-her-shop) BARRY: They-have-a-huge-parade of-flowers-every-year-in-Pasadena? VANESSA: To-be-in-the-Tournament-of-Roses #that's-every-florist's-dream! -: Up-on-a-float #surrounded by-flowers #crowds-cheering. BARRY: A-tournament.-Do-the-roses compete-in-athletic-events? VANESSA: No.-All-right #I've-got-one. How-come-you-don't-fly-everywhere? BARRY: It's-exhausting.-Why-don't-you run-everywhere?-It's-faster. VANESSA: Yeah #OK #I-see #I-see. All-right #your-turn. BARRY: TiVo.-You-can-just-freeze-live-TV? That's-insane! VANESSA: You-don't-have-that? BARRY: We-have-Hivo #but-it's-a-disease. It's-a-horrible #horrible-disease. VANESSA: Oh #my. (A-human-walks-by-and-Barry-narrowly-avoids-him) PASSERBY: Dumb-bees! VANESSA: You-must-want-to-sting-all-those-jerks. BARRY: We-try-not-to-sting. It's-usually-fatal-for-us. VANESSA: So-you-have-to-watch-your-temper (They-walk-into-a-store) BARRY: Very-carefully. You-kick-a-wall #take-a-walk #: write-an-angry-letter-and-throw-it-out. Work-through-it-like-any-emotion: -: Anger #jealousy #lust. (Suddenly-an-employee(Hector)-hits-Barry-off-of-Vanessa's-shoulder.-Hector thinks-he's-saving-Vanessa) VANESSA: (To-Barry) Oh #my-goodness!-Are-you-OK? (Barry-is-getting-up-off-the-floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To-Hector) --What-is-wrong-with-you?! HECTOR: (Confused) --It's-a-bug. VANESSA: He's-not-bothering-anybody. Get-out-of-here #you-creep! (Vanessa-hits-Hector-across-the-face-with-the-magazine-he-had-and-then-hits him-in-the-head.-Hector-backs-away-covering-his-head) Barry: What-was-that?-A-Pic-'N'-Save-circular? (Vanessa-sets-Barry-back-on-her-shoulder) VANESSA: Yeah #it-was.-How-did-you-know? BARRY: It-felt-like-about-10-pages. Seventy-five-is-pretty-much-our-limit. VANESSA: You've-really-got-that down-to-a-science. BARRY: --Oh #we-have-to.-I-lost-a-cousin-to-Italian-Vogue. VANESSA: --I'll-bet. (Barry-looks-to-his-right-and-notices-there-is-honey-for-sale-in-the-aisle) BARRY: What-in-the-name of-Mighty-Hercules-is-this? (Barry-looks-at-all-the-brands-of-honey #shocked) How-did-this-get-here? Cute-Bee #Golden-Blossom #: Ray-Liotta-Private-Select? (Barry-puts-his-hands-up-and-slowly-turns-around #a-look-of-disgust-on-his face) VANESSA: --Is-he-that-actor? BARRY: --I-never-heard-of-him. -: --Why-is-this-here? VANESSA: --For-people.-We-eat-it. BARRY: You-don't-have enough-food-of-your-own?! (Hector-looks-back-and-notices-that-Vanessa-is-talking-to-Barry) VANESSA: --Well #yes. BARRY: --How-do-you-get-it? VANESSA: --Bees-make-it. BARRY: --I-know-who-makes-it! -: And-it's-hard-to-make-it! -: There's-heating #cooling #stirring. You-need-a-whole-Krelman-thing! VANESSA: --It's-organic. BARRY: --It's-our-ganic! VANESSA: It's-just-honey #Barry. BARRY: Just-what?! -: Bees-don't-know-about-this! This-is-stealing!-A-lot-of-stealing! -: You've-taken-our-homes #schools #hospitals!-This-is-all-we-have! -: And-it's-on-sale?! I'm-getting-to-the-bottom-of-this. -: I'm-getting-to-the-bottom of-all-of-this! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-paints-his-face-with-black-strikes-like-a soldier-and-sneaks-into-the-storage-section-of-the-store) (Two-men #including-Hector #are-loading-boxes-into-some-trucks) -: SUPERMARKET-EMPLOYEE== Hey #Hector. -: --You-almost-done? HECTOR: --Almost. (Barry-takes-a-step-to-peak-around-the-corner) (Whispering) He-is-here.-I-sense-it. -: Well #I-guess-I'll-go-home-now (Hector-pretends-to-walk-away-by-walking-in-place-and-speaking-loudly) -: and-just-leave-this-nice-honey-out #with-no-one-around. BARRY: You're-busted #box-boy! HECTOR: I-knew-I-heard-something! So-you-can-talk! BARRY: I-can-talk. And-now-you'll-start-talking! -: Where-you-getting-the-sweet-stuff? Who's-your-supplier? HECTOR: I-don't-understand. I-thought-we-were-friends. -: The-last-thing-we-want to-do-is-upset-bees! (Hector-takes-a-thumbtack-out-of-the-board-behind-him-and-sword-fights Barry.-Barry-is-using-his-stinger-like-a-sword) -: You're-too-late!-It's-ours-now! BARRY: You #sir #have-crossed the-wrong-sword! HECTOR: You #sir #will-be-lunch for-my-iguana #Ignacio! (Barry-hits-the-thumbtack-out-of-Hectors-hand-and-Hector-surrenders) Barry: Where-is-the-honey-coming-from? -: Tell-me-where! HECTOR: (Pointing-to-leaving-truck) Honey-Farms!-It-comes-from-Honey-Farms! (Barry-chases-after-the-truck-but-it-is-getting-away.-He-flies-onto-a bicyclists'-backpack-and-he-catches-up-to-the-truck) CAR-DRIVER: (To-bicyclist) Crazy-person! (Barry-flies-off-and-lands-on-the-windshield-of-the-Honey-farms-truck. Barry-looks-around-and-sees-dead-bugs-splattered-everywhere) BARRY: What-horrible-thing-has-happened-here? -: These-faces #they-never-knew what-hit-them.-And-now -: they're-on-the-road-to-nowhere! (Barry-hears-a-sudden-whisper) (Barry-looks-up-and-sees-Mooseblood #a-mosquito-playing-dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just-keep-still. BARRY: What?-You're-not-dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do-I-look-dead?-They-will-wipe-anything that-moves.-Where-you-headed? BARRY: To-Honey-Farms. I-am-onto-something-huge-here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm-going-to-Alaska.-Moose-blood #crazy-stuff.-Blows-your-head-off! ANOTHER-BUG-PLAYING-DEAD: I'm-going-to-Tacoma. (Barry-looks-at-another-bug) BARRY: --And-you? MOOSEBLOOD: --He-really-is-dead. BARRY: All-right. (Another-bug-hits-the-windshield-and-the-drivers-notice.-They-activate-the windshield-wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The-windshield-wipers-are-slowly-sliding-over-the-dead-bugs-and-wiping them-off) BARRY: --What-is-that?! MOOSEBLOOD: --Oh #no! -: --A-wiper!-Triple-blade! BARRY: --Triple-blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump-on!-It's-your-only-chance #bee! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-grab-onto-the-wiper-and-they-hold-on-as-it-wipes-the windshield) Why-does-everything-have to-be-so-doggone-clean?! -: How-much-do-you-people-need-to-see?! (Bangs-on-windshield) -: Open-your-eyes! Stick-your-head-out-the-window! RADIO-IN-TRUCK: From-NPR-News-in-Washington #I'm-Carl-Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But-don't-kill-no-more-bugs! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-are-washed-off-by-the-wipr-fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: --Bee! BARRY: --Moose-blood-guy!! (Barry-starts-screaming-as-he-hangs-onto-the-antenna) (Suddenly-it-is-revealed-that-a-water-bug-is-also-hanging-on-the-antenna. There-is-a-pause-and-then-Barry-and-the-water-bug-both-start-screaming) TRUCK-DRIVER: --You-hear-something? GUY-IN-TRUCK: --Like-what? TRUCK-DRIVER: Like-tiny-screaming. GUY-IN-TRUCK: Turn-off-the-radio. (The-antenna-starts-to-lower-until-it-gets-to-low-and-sinks-into-the-truck. The-water-bug-flies-off-and-Barry-is-forced-to-let-go-and-he-is-blown-away. He-luckily-lands-inside-a-horn-on-top-of-the-truck-where-he-finds Mooseblood #who-was-blown-into-the-same-place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup #bee-boy? BARRY: Hey #Blood. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-that-Barry-is-deep-in-conversation-with Mooseblood.-They-have-been-sitting-in-this-truck-for-a-while) BARRY: ...Just-a-row-of-honey-jars #as-far-as-the-eye-could-see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I-assume-wherever-this-truck-goes is-where-they're-getting-it. -: I-mean #that-honey's-ours. MOOSEBLOOD: --Bees-hang-tight. BARRY: --We're-all-jammed-in. -: It's-a-close-community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not-us #man.-We-on-our-own. Every-mosquito-on-his-own. BARRY: --What-if-you-get-in-trouble? MOOSEBLOOD: --You-a-mosquito #you-in-trouble. -: Nobody-likes-us.-They-just-smack. See-a-mosquito #smack #smack! BARRY: At-least-you're-out-in-the-world. You-must-meet-girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito-girls-try-to-trade-up #get-with-a-moth #dragonfly. -: Mosquito-girl-don't-want-no-mosquito. (An-ambulance-passes-by-and-it-has-a-blood-donation-sign-on-it) You-got-to-be-kidding-me! -: Mooseblood's-about-to-leave the-building!-So-long #bee! (Mooseblood-leaves-and-flies-onto-the-window-of-the-ambulance-where-there are-other-mosquito's-hanging-out) -: --Hey #guys! OTHER-MOSQUITO: --Mooseblood! MOOSEBLOOD: I-knew-I'd-catch-y'all-down-here. Did-you-bring-your-crazy-straw? (The-truck-goes-out-of-view-and-Barry-notices-that-the-truck-he's-on-is pulling-into-a-camp-of-some-sort) TRUCK-DRIVER: We-throw-it-in-jars #slap-a-label-on-it #and-it's-pretty-much-pure-profit. (Barry-flies-out) BARRY: What-is-this-place? BEEKEEPER-1#: A-bee's-got-a-brain the-size-of-a-pinhead. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-are-pinheads! -: Pinhead. -: --Check-out-the-new-smoker. BEEKEEPER-#1: --Oh #sweet.-That's-the-one-you-want. -: The-Thomas-3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER-#1: Ninety-puffs-a-minute #semi-automatic. Twice-the-nicotine #all-the-tar. -: A-couple-breaths-of-this knocks-them-right-out. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money. BARRY: 'They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money'? (The-Beekeeper-sprays-hundreds-of-cheap-miniature-apartments-with-the smoker.-The-bees-are-fainting-or-passing-out) Oh #my! -: What's-going-on?-Are-you-OK? (Barry-flies-into-one-of-the-apartment-and-helps-a-Bee-couple-get-off-the ground.-They-are-coughing-and-its-hard-for-them-to-stand) BEE-IN-APARTMENT: Yeah.-It-doesn't-last-too-long. BARRY: Do-you-know-you're in-a-fake-hive-with-fake-walls? BEE-IN-APPARTMENT: Our-queen-was-moved-here. We-had-no-choice. (The-apartment-room-is-completely-empty-except-for-a-photo-on-the-wall-of the-'queen'-who-is-obviously-a-man-in-women's-clothes) BARRY: This-is-your-queen? That's-a-man-in-women's-clothes! -: That's-a-drag-queen! -: What-is-this? (Barry-flies-out-and-he-discovers-that-there-are-hundreds-of-these structures #each-housing-thousands-of-Bees) Oh #no! -: There's-hundreds-of-them! (Barry-takes-out-his-camera-and-takes-pictures-of-these-Bee-work-camps.-The beekeepers-look-very-evil-in-these-depictions) Bee-honey. -: Our-honey-is-being-brazenly-stolen on-a-massive-scale! -: This-is-worse-than-anything-bears have-done!-I-intend-to-do-something. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-showing-these-pictures-to-his-parents) JANET: Oh #Barry #stop. MARTIN: Who-told-you-humans-are-taking our-honey?-That's-a-rumor. BARRY: Do-these-look-like-rumors? (Holds-up-the-pictures) UNCLE-CARL: That's-a-conspiracy-theory. These-are-obviously-doctored-photos. JANET: How-did-you-get-mixed-up-in-this? ADAM: He's-been-talking-to-humans. JANET: --What? MARTIN: --Talking-to-humans?! ADAM: He-has-a-human-girlfriend. And-they-make-out! JANET: Make-out?-Barry! BARRY: We-do-not. ADAM: --You-wish-you-could. MARTIN: --Whose-side-are-you-on? BARRY: The-bees! UNCLE-CARL: (He-has-been-sitting-in-the-back-of-the-room-this-entire-time) I-dated-a-cricket-once-in-San-Antonio. Those-crazy-legs-kept-me-up-all-night. JANET: Barry #this-is-what-you-want to-do-with-your-life? BARRY: I-want-to-do-it-for-all-our-lives. Nobody-works-harder-than-bees! -: Dad #I-remember-you coming-home-so-overworked -: your-hands-were-still-stirring. You-couldn't-stop. JANET: I-remember-that. BARRY: What-right-do-they-have-to-our-honey? -: We-live-on-two-cups-a-year.-They-put-it in-lip-balm-for-no-reason-whatsoever! ADAM: Even-if-it's-true #what-can-one-bee-do? BARRY: Sting-them-where-it-really-hurts. MARTIN: In-the-face!-The-eye! -: --That-would-hurt. BARRY: --No. MARTIN: Up-the-nose?-That's-a-killer. BARRY: There's-only-one-place-you-can-sting the-humans #one-place-where-it-matters. (Flash-forward-a-bit-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-Bee-News) BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: Hive-at-Five #the-hive's-only full-hour-action-news-source. BEE-PROTESTOR: No-more-bee-beards! BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: With-Bob-Bumble-at-the-anchor-desk. -: Weather-with-Storm-Stinger. -: Sports-with-Buzz-Larvi. -: And-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: --Good-evening.-I'm-Bob-Bumble. JEANETTE-CHUNG: --And-I'm-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: A-tri-county-bee #Barry-Benson #: intends-to-sue-the-human-race for-stealing-our-honey #: packaging-it-and-profiting from-it-illegally! JEANETTE-CHUNG: Tomorrow-night-on-Bee-Larry-King #: we'll-have-three-former-queens-here-in our-studio #discussing-their-new-book #: Classy-Ladies #out-this-week-on-Hexagon. (The-scene-changes-to-an-interview-on-the-news-with-Bee-version-of-Larry King-and-Barry) BEE-LARRY-KING: Tonight-we're-talking-to-Barry-Benson. -: Did-you-ever-think #'I'm-a-kid from-the-hive.-I-can't-do-this'? BARRY: Bees-have-never-been-afraid to-change-the-world. -: What-about-Bee-Columbus? Bee-Gandhi?-Bejesus? BEE-LARRY-KING: Where-I'm-from #we'd-never-sue-humans. -: We-were-thinking of-stickball-or-candy-stores. BARRY: How-old-are-you? BEE-LARRY-KING: The-bee-community is-supporting-you-in-this-case #: which-will-be-the-trial of-the-bee-century. BARRY: You-know #they-have-a-Larry-King in-the-human-world-too. BEE-LARRY-KING: It's-a-common-name.-Next-week... BARRY: He-looks-like-you-and-has-a-show and-suspenders-and-colored-dots... BEE-LARRY-KING: Next-week... BARRY: Glasses #quotes-on-the-bottom-from-the guest-even-though-you-just-heard-'em. BEE-LARRY-KING: Bear-Week-next-week! They're-scary #hairy-and-here #live. (Bee-Larry-King-gets-annoyed-and-flies-away-offscreen) BARRY: Always-leans-forward #pointy-shoulders #squinty-eyes #very-Jewish. (Flash-forward-in-time.-We-see-Vanessa-enter-and-Ken-enters-behind-her. They-are-arguing) KEN: In-tennis #you-attack at-the-point-of-weakness! VANESSA: It-was-my-grandmother #Ken.-She's-81. KEN== Honey #her-backhand's-a-joke! I'm-not-gonna-take-advantage-of-that? BARRY: (To-Ken) Quiet #please. Actual-work-going-on-here. KEN: (Pointing-at-Barry) --Is-that-that-same-bee? VANESSA: --Yes #it-is! -: I'm-helping-him-sue-the-human-race. BARRY: --Hello. KEN: --Hello #bee. VANESSA: This-is-Ken. BARRY: (Recalling-the-'Winter-Boots'-incident-earlier) Yeah #I-remember-you.-Timberland #size ten-and-a-half.-Vibram-sole #I-believe. KEN: (To-Vanessa) Why-does-he-talk-again? VANESSA: Listen #you-better-go 'cause-we're-really-busy-working. KEN: But-it's-our-yogurt-night! VANESSA: (Holding-door-open-for-Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why-is-yogurt-night-so-difficult?! (Ken-leaves-and-Vanessa-walks-over-to-Barry.-His-workplace-is-a-mess) VANESSA: You-poor-thing. You-two-have-been-at-this-for-hours! BARRY: Yes #and-Adam-here has-been-a-huge-help. ADAM: --Frosting... --How-many-sugars? -==BARRY== Just-one.-I-try-not to-use-the-competition. -: So-why-are-you-helping-me? VANESSA: Bees-have-good-qualities. -: And-it-takes-my-mind-off-the-shop. -: Instead-of-flowers #people are-giving-balloon-bouquets-now. BARRY: Those-are-great #if-you're-three. VANESSA: And-artificial-flowers. BARRY: --Oh #those-just-get-me-psychotic! VANESSA: --Yeah #me-too. -: BARRY: Bent-stingers #pointless-pollination. ADAM: Bees-must-hate-those-fake-things! -: Nothing-worse than-a-daffodil-that's-had-work-done. -: Maybe-this-could-make-up for-it-a-little-bit. VANESSA: --This-lawsuit's-a-pretty-big-deal. BARRY: --I-guess. ADAM: You-sure-you-want-to-go-through-with-it? BARRY: Am-I-sure?-When-I'm-done-with the-humans #they-won't-be-able -: to-say #'Honey #I'm-home #' without-paying-a-royalty! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-human-news.-The-camera-shows a-crowd-outside-a-courthouse) NEWS-REPORTER: It's-an-incredible-scene here-in-downtown-Manhattan #: where-the-world-anxiously-waits #because-for-the-first-time-in-history #: we-will-hear-for-ourselves if-a-honeybee-can-actually-speak. (We-are-no-longer-watching-through-a-news-camera) ADAM: What-have-we-gotten-into-here #Barry? BARRY: It's-pretty-big #isn't-it? ADAM== (Looking-at-the-hundreds-of-people-around-the-courthouse) I-can't-believe-how-many-humans don't-work-during-the-day. BARRY: You-think-billion-dollar-multinational food-companies-have-good-lawyers? SECURITY-GUARD: Everybody-needs-to-stay behind-the-barricade. (A-limousine-drives-up-and-a-fat-man #Layton-Montgomery #a-honey-industry owner-gets-out-and-walks-past-Barry) ADAM: --What's-the-matter? BARRY: --I-don't-know #I-just-got-a-chill. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-everyone-is-in-the-court) MONTGOMERY: Well #if-it-isn't-the-bee-team. (To-Honey-Industry-lawyers) You-boys-work-on-this? MAN: All-rise!-The-Honorable Judge-Bumbleton-presiding. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: All-right.-Case-number-4475 #: Superior-Court-of-New-York #Barry-Bee-Benson-v.-the-Honey-Industry -: is-now-in-session. -: Mr.-Montgomery #you're-representing the-five-food-companies-collectively? MONTGOMERY: A-privilege. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson...-you're-representing all-the-bees-of-the-world? (Everyone-looks-closely #they-are-waiting-to-see-if-a-Bee-can-really-talk) (Barry-makes-several-buzzing-sounds-to-sound-like-a-Bee) BARRY: I'm-kidding.-Yes #Your-Honor #we're-ready-to-proceed. JUDGE-BUMBLBETON: Mr.-Montgomery #your-opening-statement #please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies-and-gentlemen-of-the-jury #: my-grandmother-was-a-simple-woman. -: Born-on-a-farm #she-believed it-was-man's-divine-right -: to-benefit-from-the-bounty of-nature-God-put-before-us. -: If-we-lived-in-the-topsy-turvy-world Mr.-Benson-imagines #: just-think-of-what-would-it-mean. -: I-would-have-to-negotiate with-the-silkworm -: for-the-elastic-in-my-britches! -: Talking-bee! (Montgomery-walks-over-and-looks-closely-at-Barry) -: How-do-we-know-this-isn't-some-sort-of -: holographic-motion-picture-capture Hollywood-wizardry? -: They-could-be-using-laser-beams! -: Robotics!-Ventriloquism! Cloning!-For-all-we-know #: he-could-be-on-steroids! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson? BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #there's-no-trickery-here. -: I'm-just-an-ordinary-bee. Honey's-pretty-important-to-me. -: It's-important-to-all-bees. We-invented-it! -: We-make-it.-And-we-protect-it with-our-lives. -: Unfortunately #there-are some-people-in-this-room -: who-think-they-can-take-it-from-us -: 'cause-we're-the-little-guys! I'm-hoping-that #after-this-is-all-over #: you'll-see-how #by-taking-our-honey #you-not-only-take-everything-we-have -: but-everything-we-are! JANET== (To-Martin) I-wish-he'd-dress-like-that all-the-time.-So-nice! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Call-your-first-witness. BARRY: So #Mr.-Klauss-Vanderhayden of-Honey-Farms #big-company-you-have. KLAUSS-VANDERHAYDEN: I-suppose-so. BARRY: I-see-you-also-own Honeyburton-and-Honron! KLAUSS: Yes #they-provide-beekeepers for-our-farms. BARRY: Beekeeper.-I-find-that to-be-a-very-disturbing-term. -: I-don't-imagine-you-employ any-bee-free-ers #do-you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) --No. BARRY: --I-couldn't-hear-you. KLAUSS: --No. BARRY: --No. -: Because-you-don't-free-bees. You-keep-bees.-Not-only-that #: it-seems-you-thought-a-bear-would-be an-appropriate-image-for-a-jar-of-honey. KLAUSS: They're-very-lovable-creatures. -: Yogi-Bear #Fozzie-Bear #Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You-mean-like-this? (The-bear-from-Over-The-Hedge-barges-in-through-the-back-door-and-it-is roaring-and-standing-on-its-hind-legs.-It-is-thrashing-its-claws-and-people are-screaming.-It-is-being-held-back-by-a-guard-who-has-the-bear-on-a chain) -: (Pointing-to-the-roaring-bear) Bears-kill-bees! -: How'd-you-like-his-head-crashing through-your-living-room?! -: Biting-into-your-couch! Spitting-out-your-throw-pillows! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: OK #that's-enough.-Take-him-away. (The-bear-stops-roaring-and-thrashing-and-walks-out) BARRY: So #Mr.-Sting #thank-you-for-being-here. Your-name-intrigues-me. -: --Where-have-I-heard-it-before? MR.-STING: --I-was-with-a-band-called-The-Police. BARRY: But-you've-never-been a-police-officer #have-you? STING: No #I-haven't. BARRY: No #you-haven't.-And-so-here we-have-yet-another-example -: of-bee-culture-casually stolen-by-a-human -: for-nothing-more-than a-prance-about-stage-name. STING: Oh #please. BARRY: Have-you-ever-been-stung #Mr.-Sting? -: Because-I'm-feeling a-little-stung #Sting. -: Or-should-I-say...-Mr.-Gordon-M.-Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's-not-his-real-name?!-You-idiots! BARRY: Mr.-Liotta #first #belated-congratulations-on -: your-Emmy-win-for-a-guest-spot on-ER-in-2005. RAY-LIOTTA: Thank-you.-Thank-you. BARRY: I-see-from-your-resume that-you're-devilishly-handsome -: with-a-churning-inner-turmoil that's-ready-to-blow. RAY-LIOTTA: I-enjoy-what-I-do.-Is-that-a-crime? BARRY: Not-yet-it-isn't.-But-is-this what-it's-come-to-for-you? -: Exploiting-tiny #helpless-bees so-you-don't -: have-to-rehearse your-part-and-learn-your-lines #sir? RAY-LIOTTA: Watch-it #Benson! I-could-blow-right-now! BARRY: This-isn't-a-goodfella. This-is-a-badfella! (Ray-Liotta-looses-it-and-tries-to-grab-Barry) RAY-LIOTTA: Why-doesn't-someone-just-step-on this-creep #and-we-can-all-go-home?! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: --Order-in-this-court! RAY-LIOTTA: --You're-all-thinking-it! (Judge-Bumbleton-starts-banging-her-gavel) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Order!-Order #I-say! RAY-LIOTTA: --Say-it! MAN: --Mr.-Liotta #please-sit-down! (We-see-a-montage-of-magazines-which-feature-the-court-case) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-back-home-with-Vanessa) BARRY: I-think-it-was-awfully-nice of-that-bear-to-pitch-in-like-that. VANESSA: I-think-the-jury's-on-our-side. BARRY: Are-we-doing-everything-right #you-know #legally? VANESSA: I'm-a-florist. BARRY: Right.-Well #here's-to-a-great-team. VANESSA: To-a-great-team! (Ken-walks-in-from-work.-He-sees-Barry-and-he-looks-upset-when-he-sees Barry-clinking-his-glass-with-Vanessa) KEN: Well #hello. VANESSA: --Oh #Ken! BARRY: --Hello! VANESSA: I-didn't-think-you-were-coming. -: No #I-was-just-late. I-tried-to-call #but... (Ken-holds-up-his-phone-and-flips-it-open.-The-phone-has-no-charge) ...the-battery... VANESSA: I-didn't-want-all-this-to-go-to-waste #so-I-called-Barry.-Luckily #he-was-free. KEN: Oh #that-was-lucky. (Ken-sits-down-at-the-table-across-from-Barry-and-Vanessa-leaves-the-room) VANESSA: There's-a-little-left. I-could-heat-it-up. KEN: (Not-taking-his-eyes-off-Barry) Yeah #heat-it-up #sure #whatever. BARRY: So-I-hear-you're-quite-a-tennis-player. -: I'm-not-much-for-the-game-myself. The-ball's-a-little-grabby. KEN: That's-where-I-usually-sit. Right... (Points-to-where-Barry-is-sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling-from-other-room) Ken #Barry-was-looking-at-your-resume #: and-he-agreed-with-me-that-eating-with chopsticks-isn't-really-a-special-skill. KEN: (To-Barry) You-think-I-don't-see-what-you're-doing? BARRY: I-know-how-hard-it-is-to-find the-right-job.-We-have-that-in-common. KEN: Do-we? BARRY: Bees-have-100-percent-employment #but-we-do-jobs-like-taking-the-crud-out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's-just-what I-was-thinking-about-doing. (Ken-reaches-for-a-fork-on-the-table-but-knocks-if-on-the-floor.-He-goes-to pick-it-up) VANESSA: Ken #I-let-Barry-borrow-your-razor for-his-fuzz.-I-hope-that-was-all-right. (Ken-quickly-rises-back-up-after-hearing-this-but-hits-his-head-on-the table-and-yells) BARRY: I'm-going-to-drain-the-old-stinger. KEN: Yeah #you-do-that. (Barry-flies-past-Ken-to-get-to-the-bathroom-and-Ken-freaks-out #splashing some-of-the-wine-he-was-using-to-cool-his-head-in-his-eyes.-He-yells-in anger) (Barry-looks-at-the-magazines-featuring-his-victories-in-court) BARRY: Look-at-that. (Barry-flies-into-the-bathroom) (He-puts-his-hand-on-his-head-but-this-makes-hurts-him-and-makes-him-even madder.-He-yells-again) (Barry-is-washing-his-hands-in-the-sink-but-then-Ken-walks-in) KEN: You-know #you-know-I've-just-about-had-it (Closes-bathroom-door-behind-him) with-your-little-mind-games. (Ken-is-menacingly-rolling-up-a-magazine) BARRY: (Backing-away) --What's-that? KEN: --Italian-Vogue. BARRY: Mamma-mia #that's-a-lot-of-pages. KEN: It's-a-lot-of-ads. BARRY: Remember-what-Van-said #why-is your-life-more-valuable-than-mine? KEN: That's-funny #I-just-can't-seem-to-recall-that! (Ken-smashes-everything-off-the-sink-with-the-magazine-and-Barry-narrowly escapes) (Ken-follows-Barry-around-and-tries-to-hit-him-with-the-magazine-but-he keeps-missing) (Ken-gets-a-spray-bottle) -: I-think-something-stinks-in-here! BARRY: (Enjoying-the-spray) I-love-the-smell-of-flowers. (Ken-holds-a-lighter-in-front-of-the-spray-bottle) KEN: How-do-you-like-the-smell-of-flames?! BARRY: Not-as-much. (Ken-fires-his-make-shift-flamethrower-but-misses-Barry #burning-the bathroom.-He-torches-the-whole-room-but-looses-his-footing-and-falls-into the-bathtub.-After-getting-hit-in-the-head-by-falling-objects-3-times-he picks-up-the-shower-head #revealing-a-Water-bug-hiding-under-it) WATER-BUG: Water-bug!-Not-taking-sides! (Barry-gets-up-out-of-a-pile-of-bathroom-supplies-and-he-is-wearing-a chapstick-hat) BARRY: Ken #I'm-wearing-a-Chapstick-hat! This-is-pathetic! (Ken-switches-the-shower-head-to-lethal) KEN: I've-got-issues! (Ken-sprays-Barry-with-the-shower-head-and-he-crash-lands-into-the-toilet) (Ken-menacingly-looks-down-into-the-toilet-at-Barry) Well #well #well #a-royal-flush! BARRY: --You're-bluffing. KEN: --Am-I? (flushes-toilet) (Barry-grabs-a-chapstick-from-the-toilet-seat-and-uses-it-to-surf-in-the flushing-toilet) BARRY: Surf's-up #dude! (Barry-flies-out-of-the-toilet-on-the-chapstick-and-sprays-Ken's-face-with the-toilet-water) -: EW #Poo-water! BARRY: That-bowl-is-gnarly. KEN: (Aiming-a-toilet-cleaner-at-Barry) Except-for-those-dirty-yellow-rings! (Barry-cowers-and-covers-his-head-and-Vanessa-runs-in-and-takes-the-toilet cleaner-from-Ken-just-before-he-hits-Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth!-What-are-you-doing?! KEN== (Leaning-towards-Barry) You-know #I-don't-even-like-honey! I-don't-eat-it! VANESSA: We-need-to-talk! (Vanessa-pulls-Ken-out-of-the-bathroom) -: He's-just-a-little-bee! -: And-he-happens-to-be the-nicest-bee-I've-met-in-a-long-time! KEN: Long-time?-What-are-you-talking-about?! Are-there-other-bugs-in-your-life? VANESSA: No #but-there-are-other-things-bugging me-in-life.-And-you're-one-of-them! KEN: Fine!-Talking-bees #no-yogurt-night... -: My-nerves-are-fried-from-riding on-this-emotional-roller-coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye #Ken. (Ken-huffs-and-walks-out-and-slams-the-door.-But-suddenly-he-walks-back-in and-stares-at-Barry) -: And-for-your-information #I-prefer-sugar-free #artificial sweeteners-MADE-BY-MAN! (Ken-leaves-again-and-Vanessa-leans-in-towards-Barry) VANESSA: I'm-sorry-about-all-that. (Ken-walks-back-in-again) KEN: I-know-it's-got an-aftertaste!-I-LIKE-IT! (Ken-leaves-for-the-last-time) VANESSA: I-always-felt-there-was-some-kind of-barrier-between-Ken-and-me. -: I-couldn't-overcome-it. Oh #well. -: Are-you-OK-for-the-trial? BARRY: I-believe-Mr.-Montgomery is-about-out-of-ideas. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry #Adam #and-Vanessa-are-back-in-court) MONTGOMERY-- We-would-like-to-call Mr.-Barry-Benson-Bee-to-the-stand. ADAM: Good-idea!-You-can-really-see-why-he's considered-one-of-the-best-lawyers... (Barry-stares-at-Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton #you've gotta-weave-some-magic with-this-jury #or-it's-gonna-be-all-over. MONTGOMERY: Don't-worry.-The-only-thing-I-have to-do-to-turn-this-jury-around -: is-to-remind-them of-what-they-don't-like-about-bees. (To-lawyer) --You-got-the-tweezers? LAWYER: --Are-you-allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only-to-losing #son.-Only-to-losing. -: Mr.-Benson-Bee #I'll-ask-you what-I-think-we'd-all-like-to-know. -: What-exactly-is-your-relationship (Points-to-Vanessa) -: to-that-woman? BARRY: We're-friends. MONTGOMERY: --Good-friends? BARRY: --Yes. MONTGOMERY: How-good?-Do-you-live-together? ADAM: Wait-a-minute... -: MONTGOMERY: Are-you-her-little... -: ...bedbug? (Adam's-stinger-starts-vibrating.-He-is-agitated) I've-seen-a-bee-documentary-or-two. From-what-I-understand #: doesn't-your-queen-give-birth to-all-the-bee-children? BARRY: --Yeah #but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing-at-Janet-and-Martin) --So-those-aren't-your-real-parents! JANET: --Oh #Barry... BARRY: --Yes #they-are! ADAM: Hold-me-back! (Vanessa-tries-to-hold-Adam-back.-He-wants-to-sting-Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're-an-illegitimate-bee #aren't-you #Benson? ADAM: He's-denouncing-bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't-y'all-date-your-cousins? (Montgomery-leans-over-on-the-jury-stand-and-stares-at-Adam) VANESSA: --Objection! (Vanessa-raises-her-hand-to-object-but-Adam-gets-free.-He-flies-straight-at Montgomery) =ADAM: --I'm-going-to-pincushion-this-guy! BARRY: Adam #don't!-It's-what-he-wants! (Adam-stings-Montgomery-in-the-butt-and-he-starts-thrashing-around) MONTGOMERY: Oh #I'm-hit!! -: Oh #lordy #I-am-hit! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: (Banging-gavel) Order!-Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The-venom!-The-venom is-coursing-through-my-veins! -: I-have-been-felled by-a-winged-beast-of-destruction! -: You-see?-You-can't-treat-them like-equals!-They're-striped-savages! -: Stinging's-the-only-thing they-know!-It's-their-way! BARRY: --Adam #stay-with-me. ADAM: --I-can't-feel-my-legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting-and-throwing-his-body-around-the-room) What-angel-of-mercy will-come-forward-to-suck-the-poison -: from-my-heaving-buttocks? JUDGE-BUMLBETON: I-will-have-order-in-this-court.-Order! -: Order #please! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-see-a-human-news-reporter) NEWS-REPORTER: The-case-of-the-honeybees versus-the-human-race -: took-a-pointed-turn-against-the-bees -: yesterday-when-one-of-their-legal team-stung-Layton-T.-Montgomery. (Adam-is-laying-in-a-hospital-bed-and-Barry-flies-in-to-see-him) BARRY: --Hey #buddy. ADAM: --Hey. BARRY: --Is-there-much-pain? ADAM: --Yeah. -: I... -: I-blew-the-whole-case #didn't-I? BARRY: It-doesn't-matter.-What-matters-is you're-alive.-You-could-have-died. ADAM: I'd-be-better-off-dead.-Look-at-me. (A-small-plastic-sword-is-replaced-as-Adam's-stinger) They-got-it-from-the-cafeteria downstairs #in-a-tuna-sandwich. -: Look #there's a-little-celery-still-on-it. (Flicks-off-the-celery-and-sighs) BARRY: What-was-it-like-to-sting-someone? ADAM: I-can't-explain-it.-It-was-all... -: All-adrenaline-and-then... and-then-ecstasy! BARRY: ...All-right. ADAM: You-think-it-was-all-a-trap? BARRY: Of-course.-I'm-sorry. I-flew-us-right-into-this. -: What-were-we-thinking?-Look-at-us.-We're just-a-couple-of-bugs-in-this-world. ADAM: What-will-the-humans-do-to-us if-they-win? BARRY: I-don't-know. ADAM: I-hear-they-put-the-roaches-in-motels. That-doesn't-sound-so-bad. BARRY: Adam #they-check-in #but-they-don't-check-out! ADAM: Oh #my. (Coughs) Could-you-get-a-nurse to-close-that-window? BARRY: --Why? ADAM: --The-smoke. (We-can-see-that-two-humans-are-smoking-cigarettes-outside) -: Bees-don't-smoke. BARRY: Right.-Bees-don't-smoke. -: Bees-don't-smoke! But-some-bees-are-smoking. -: That's-it!-That's-our-case! ADAM: It-is?-It's-not-over? BARRY: Get-dressed.-I've-gotta-go-somewhere. -: Get-back-to-the-court-and-stall. Stall-any-way-you-can. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Adam-is-making-a-paper-boat-in-the-courtroom) ADAM: And-assuming-you've-done-step-29-correctly #you're-ready-for-the-tub! (We-see-that-the-jury-have-each-made-their-own-paper-boats-after-being taught-how-by-Adam.-They-all-look-confused) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman. ADAM: Yes?-Yes #Your-Honor! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Where-is-the-rest-of-your-team? ADAM: (Continues-stalling) Well #Your-Honor #it's-interesting. -: Bees-are-trained-to-fly-haphazardly #: and-as-a-result #we-don't-make-very-good-time. -: I-actually-heard-a-funny-story-about... MONTGOMERY: Your-Honor #haven't-these-ridiculous-bugs -: taken-up-enough of-this-court's-valuable-time? -: How-much-longer-will-we-allow these-absurd-shenanigans-to-go-on? -: They-have-presented-no-compelling evidence-to-support-their-charges -: against-my-clients #who-run-legitimate-businesses. -: I-move-for-a-complete-dismissal of-this-entire-case! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman #I'm-afraid-I'm-going -: to-have-to-consider Mr.-Montgomery's-motion. ADAM: But-you-can't!-We-have-a-terrific-case. MONTGOMERY: Where-is-your-proof? Where-is-the-evidence? -: Show-me-the-smoking-gun! BARRY: (Barry-flies-in-through-the-door) Hold-it #Your-Honor! You-want-a-smoking-gun? -: Here-is-your-smoking-gun. (Vanessa-walks-in-holding-a-bee-smoker.-She-sets-it-down-on-the-Judge's podium) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: What-is-that? BARRY: It's-a-bee-smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks-up-smoker) What #this? This-harmless-little-contraption? -: This-couldn't-hurt-a-fly #let-alone-a-bee. (Montgomery-accidentally-fires-it-at-the-bees-in-the-crowd-and-they-faint and-cough) (Dozens-of-reporters-start-taking-pictures-of-the-suffering-bees) BARRY: Look-at-what-has-happened -: to-bees-who-have-never-been-asked #'Smoking-or-non?' -: Is-this-what-nature-intended-for-us? -: To-be-forcibly-addicted to-smoke-machines -: and-man-made-wooden-slat-work-camps? -: Living-out-our-lives-as-honey-slaves to-the-white-man? (Barry-points-to-the-honey-industry-owners.-One-of-them-is-an-African American-so-he-awkwardly-separates-himself-from-the-others) LAWYER: --What-are-we-gonna-do? --He's-playing-the-species-card. BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #please #free-these-bees! ADAM-AND-VANESSA: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! BEES-IN-CROWD: Free-the-bees! HUMAN-JURY: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: The-court-finds-in-favor-of-the-bees! BARRY: Vanessa #we-won! VANESSA: I-knew-you-could-do-it!-High-five! (Vanessa-hits-Barry-hard-because-her-hand-is-too-big) -: Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm-OK!-You-know-what-this-means? -: All-the-honey will-finally-belong-to-the-bees. -: Now-we-won't-have to-work-so-hard-all-the-time. MONTGOMERY: This-is-an-unholy-perversion of-the-balance-of-nature #Benson. -: You'll-regret-this. (Montgomery-leaves-and-Barry-goes-outside-the-courtroom.-Several-reporters start-asking-Barry-questions) REPORTER-1#: Barry #how-much-honey-is-out-there? BARRY: All-right.-One-at-a-time. REPORTER-2#: Barry #who-are-you-wearing? BARRY: My-sweater-is-Ralph-Lauren #and-I-have-no-pants. (Barry-flies-outside-with-the-paparazzi-and-Adam-and-Vanessa-stay-back) ADAM: (To-Vanessa) --What-if-Montgomery's-right? Vanessa: --What-do-you-mean? ADAM: We've-been-living-the-bee-way a-long-time #27-million-years. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-a-man) BUSINESS-MAN: Congratulations-on-your-victory. What-will-you-demand-as-a-settlement? BARRY: First #we'll-demand-a-complete-shutdown of-all-bee-work-camps. (As-Barry-is-talking-we-see-a-montage-of-men-putting-'closed'-tape-over-the work-camps-and-freeing-the-bees-in-the-crappy-apartments) Then-we-want-back-the-honey that-was-ours-to-begin-with #: every-last-drop. (Men-in-suits-are-pushing-all-the-honey-of-the-aisle-and-into-carts) We-demand-an-end-to-the-glorification of-the-bear-as-anything-more (We-see-a-statue-of-a-bear-shaped-honey-container-being-pulled-down-by bees) than-a-filthy #smelly #bad-breath-stink-machine. -: We're-all-aware of-what-they-do-in-the-woods. (We-see-Winnie-the-Pooh-sharing-his-honey-with-Piglet-in-the-cross-hairs-of a-high-tech-sniper-rifle) BARRY: (Looking-through-binoculars) Wait-for-my-signal. -: Take-him-out. (Winnie-gets-hit-by-a-tranquilizer-dart-and-dramatically-falls-off-the-log he-was-standing-on #his-tongue-hanging-out.-Piglet-looks-at-Pooh-in-fear and-the-Sniper-takes-the-honey.) SNIPER: He'll-have-nausea for-a-few-hours #then-he'll-be-fine. (Flash-forward-in-time) BARRY: And-we-will-no-longer-tolerate bee-negative-nicknames... (Mr.-Sting-is-sitting-at-home-until-he-is-taken-out-of-his-house-by-the-men in-suits) STING: But-it's-just-a-prance-about-stage-name! BARRY: ...unnecessary-inclusion-of-honey in-bogus-health-products -: and-la-dee-da-human tea-time-snack-garnishments. (An-old-lady-is-mixing-honey-into-her-tea-but-suddenly-men-in-suits-smash her-face-down-on-the-table-and-take-the-honey) OLD-LADY: Can't-breathe. (A-honey-truck-pulls-up-to-Barry's-hive) WORKER: Bring-it-in #boys! -: Hold-it-right-there!-Good. -: Tap-it. (Tons-of-honey-is-being-pumped-into-the-hive's-storage) BEE-WORKER-1#: (Honey-overflows-from-the-cup) Mr.-Buzzwell #we-just-passed-three-cups #and-there's-gallons-more-coming! -: --I-think-we-need-to-shut-down! =BEE-WORKER-#2= --Shut-down?-We've-never-shut-down. -: Shut-down-honey-production! DEAN-BUZZWELL: Stop-making-honey! (The-bees-all-leave-their-stations.-Two-bees-run-into-a-room-and-they-put the-keys-into-a-machine) Turn-your-key #sir! (Two-worker-bees-dramatically-turn-their-keys #which-opens-the-button-which they-press #shutting-down-the-honey-making-machines.-This-is-the-first-time this-has-ever-happened) BEE: ...What-do-we-do-now? (Flash-forward-in-time-and-a-Bee-is-about-to-jump-into-a-pool-full-of honey) Cannonball! (The-bee-gets-stuck-in-the-honey-and-we-get-a-short-montage-of-Bees-leaving work) (We-see-the-Pollen-Jocks-flying-but-one-of-them-gets-a-call-on-his-antenna) LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') We're-shutting-honey-production! -: Mission-abort. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Aborting-pollination-and-nectar-detail. Returning-to-base. (The-Pollen-Jocks-fly-back-to-the-hive) (We-get-a-time-lapse-of-Central-Park-slowly-wilting-away-as-the-bees-all relax) BARRY: Adam #you-wouldn't-believe how-much-honey-was-out-there. ADAM: Oh #yeah? BARRY: What's-going-on?-Where-is-everybody? (The-entire-street-is-deserted) -: --Are-they-out-celebrating? ADAM: --They're-home. -: They-don't-know-what-to-do. Laying-out #sleeping-in. -: I-heard-your-Uncle-Carl-was-on-his-way to-San-Antonio-with-a-cricket. BARRY: At-least-we-got-our-honey-back. ADAM: Sometimes-I-think #so-what-if-humans liked-our-honey?-Who-wouldn't? -: It's-the-greatest-thing-in-the-world! I-was-excited-to-be-part-of-making-it. -: This-was-my-new-desk.-This-was-my new-job.-I-wanted-to-do-it-really-well. -: And-now... -: Now-I-can't. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-Vanessa) BARRY: I-don't-understand why-they're-not-happy. -: I-thought-their-lives-would-be-better! -: They're-doing-nothing.-It's-amazing. Honey-really-changes-people. VANESSA: You-don't-have-any-idea what's-going-on #do-you? BARRY: --What-did-you-want-to-show-me? (Vanessa-takes-Barry-to-the-rooftop-where-they-first-had-coffee-and-points to-her-store) VANESSA: --This. (Points-at-her-flowers.-They-are-all-grey-and-wilting) BARRY: What-happened-here? VANESSA: That-is-not-the-half-of-it. (Small-flash-forward-in-time-and-Vanessa-and-Barry-are-on-the-roof-of-her store-and-she-points-to-Central-Park) (We-see-that-Central-Park-is-no-longer-green-and-colorful #rather-it-is grey #brown #and-dead-like.-It-is-very-depressing-to-look-at) BARRY: Oh #no.-Oh #my. -: They're-all-wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't-look-very-good #does-it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And-whose-fault-do-you-think-that-is? BARRY: You-know #I'm-gonna-guess-bees. VANESSA== (Staring-at-Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically #me. -: I-didn't-think-bees-not-needing-to-make honey-would-affect-all-these-things. VANESSA: It's-not-just-flowers. Fruits #vegetables #they-all-need-bees. BARRY: That's-our-whole-SAT-test-right-there. VANESSA: Take-away-produce #that-affects the-entire-animal-kingdom. -: And-then #of-course... BARRY: The-human-species? -: So-if-there's-no-more-pollination #: it-could-all-just-go-south-here #couldn't-it? VANESSA: I-know-this-is-also-partly-my-fault. BARRY: How-about-a-suicide-pact? VANESSA: How-do-we-do-it? BARRY: --I'll-sting-you #you-step-on-me. VANESSA: --That-just-kills-you-twice. BARRY: Right #right. VANESSA: Listen #Barry... sorry #but-I-gotta-get-going. (Vanessa-leaves) BARRY: (To-himself) I-had-to-open-my-mouth-and-talk. -: Vanessa? -: Vanessa?-Why-are-you-leaving? Where-are-you-going? (Vanessa-is-getting-into-a-taxi) VANESSA: To-the-final-Tournament-of-Roses-parade in-Pasadena. -: They've-moved-it-to-this-weekend because-all-the-flowers-are-dying. -: It's-the-last-chance I'll-ever-have-to-see-it. BARRY: Vanessa #I-just-wanna-say-I'm-sorry. I-never-meant-it-to-turn-out-like-this. VANESSA: I-know.-Me-neither. (The-taxi-starts-to-drive-away) BARRY: Tournament-of-Roses. Roses-can't-do-sports. -: Wait-a-minute.-Roses.-Roses? -: Roses! -: Vanessa! (Barry-flies-after-the-Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! -: Barry? (Barry-is-flying-outside-the-window-of-the-taxi) BARRY: --Roses-are-flowers! VANESSA: --Yes #they-are. BARRY: Flowers #bees #pollen! VANESSA: I-know. That's-why-this-is-the-last-parade. BARRY: Maybe-not. Could-you-ask-him-to-slow-down? VANESSA: Could-you-slow-down? (The-taxi-driver-screeches-to-a-stop-and-Barry-keeps-flying-forward) -: Barry! (Barry-flies-back-to-the-window) BARRY: OK #I-made-a-huge-mistake. This-is-a-total-disaster #all-my-fault. VANESSA: Yes #it-kind-of-is. BARRY: I've-ruined-the-planet. I-wanted-to-help-you -: with-the-flower-shop. I've-made-it-worse. VANESSA: Actually #it's-completely-closed-down. BARRY: I-thought-maybe-you-were-remodeling. -: But-I-have-another-idea #and-it's greater-than-my-previous-ideas-combined. VANESSA: I-don't-want-to-hear-it! BARRY: All-right #they-have-the-roses #the-roses-have-the-pollen. -: I-know-every-bee #plant and-flower-bud-in-this-park. -: All-we-gotta-do-is-get-what-they've-got back-here-with-what-we've-got. -: --Bees. VANESSA: --Park. BARRY: --Pollen! VANESSA: --Flowers. BARRY: --Re-pollination! VANESSA: --Across-the-nation! -: Tournament-of-Roses #Pasadena #California. -: They've-got-nothing but-flowers #floats-and-cotton-candy. -: Security-will-be-tight. BARRY: I-have-an-idea. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Vanessa-is-about-to-board-a-plane-which-has-all-the Roses-on-board. VANESSA: Vanessa-Bloome #FTD. (Holds-out-badge) -: Official-floral-business.-It's-real. SECURITY-GUARD: Sorry #ma'am.-Nice-brooch. =VANESSA== Thank-you.-It-was-a-gift. (Barry-is-revealed-to-be-hiding-inside-the-brooch) (Flash-back-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-discussing-their-plan) BARRY: Once-inside #we-just-pick-the-right-float. VANESSA: How-about-The-Princess-and-the-Pea? -: I-could-be-the-princess #and-you-could-be-the-pea! BARRY: Yes #I-got-it. -: --Where-should-I-sit? GUARD: --What-are-you? BARRY: --I-believe-I'm-the-pea. GUARD: --The-pea? VANESSA: It-goes-under-the-mattresses. GUARD: --Not-in-this-fairy-tale #sweetheart. --I'm-getting-the-marshal. VANESSA: You-do-that! This-whole-parade-is-a-fiasco! -: Let's-see-what-this-baby'll-do. (Vanessa-drives-the-float-through-traffic) GUARD: Hey #what-are-you-doing?! BARRY== Then-all-we-do is-blend-in-with-traffic... -: ...without-arousing-suspicion. -: Once-at-the-airport #there's-no-stopping-us. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-about-to-get-on-a-plane) SECURITY-GUARD: Stop!-Security. -: --You-and-your-insect-pack-your-float? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Has-it-been in-your-possession-the-entire-time? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Would-you-remove-your-shoes? (To-Barry) --Remove-your-stinger. BARRY: --It's-part-of-me. SECURITY-GUARD: I-know.-Just-having-some-fun. Enjoy-your-flight. (Barry-plotting-with-Vanessa) BARRY: Then-if-we're-lucky #we'll-have just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-flying-on-the-plane) Can-you-believe-how-lucky-we-are?-We have-just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job! VANESSA: I-think-this-is-gonna-work. BARRY: It's-got-to-work. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: (On-intercom) Attention #passengers #this-is-Captain-Scott. -: We-have-a-bit-of-bad-weather in-New-York. -: It-looks-like-we'll-experience a-couple-hours-delay. VANESSA: Barry #these-are-cut-flowers with-no-water.-They'll-never-make-it. BARRY: I-gotta-get-up-there and-talk-to-them. VANESSA== Be-careful. (Barry-flies-right-outside-the-cockpit-door) BARRY: Can-I-get-help with-the-Sky-Mall-magazine? I'd-like-to-order-the-talking inflatable-nose-and-ear-hair-trimmer. (The-flight-attendant-opens-the-door-and-walks-out-and-Barry-flies-into-the cockpit-unseen) BARRY: Captain #I'm-in-a-real-situation. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: --What'd-you-say #Hal? CO-PILOT-HAL: --Nothing. (Scott-notices-Barry-and-freaks-out) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No #no #no #Don't-freak-out!-My-entire-species... (Captain-Scott-gets-out-of-his-seat-and-tries-to-suck-Barry-into-a-handheld vacuum) HAL: (To-Scott) What-are-you-doing? (Barry-lands-on-Hals-hair-but-Scott-sees-him.-He-tries-to-suck-up-Barry-but instead-he-sucks-up-Hals-toupee) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: --Wait-a-minute!-I'm-an-attorney! HAL: (Hal-doesn't-know-Barry-is-on-his-head) --Who's-an-attorney? CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Don't-move. (Scott-hits-Hal-in-the-face-with-the-vacuum-in-an-attempt-to-hit-Barry.-Hal is-knocked-out-and-he-falls-on-the-life-raft-button-which-launches-an infalatable-boat-into-Scott #who-gets-knocked-out-and-falls-to-the-floor. They-are-both-uncounscious.) BARRY: (To-himself) Oh #Barry. BARRY: (On-intercom #with-a-Southern-accent) Good-afternoon #passengers. This-is-your-captain. -: Would-a-Miss-Vanessa-Bloome-in-24B please-report-to-the-cockpit? (Vanessa-looks-confused) (Normal-accent) ...And-please-hurry! (Vanessa-opens-the-door-and-sees-the-life-raft-and-the-uncounscious-pilots) VANESSA: What-happened-here? BARRY: I-tried-to-talk-to-them #but then-there-was-a-DustBuster #a-toupee #a-life-raft-exploded. -: Now-one's-bald #one's-in-a-boat #and-they're-both-unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is-that-another-bee-joke? BARRY: --No! -: No-one's-flying-the-plane! BUD-DITCHWATER: (Through-radio-on-plane) This-is-JFK-control-tower #Flight-356. What's-your-status? VANESSA: This-is-Vanessa-Bloome. I'm-a-florist-from-New-York. BUD: Where's-the-pilot? VANESSA: He's-unconscious #and-so-is-the-copilot. BUD: Not-good.-Does-anyone-onboard have-flight-experience? BARRY: As-a-matter-of-fact #there-is. BUD: --Who's-that? BARRY: --Barry-Benson. BUD: From-the-honey-trial?!-Oh #great. BARRY: Vanessa #this-is-nothing-more than-a-big-metal-bee. -: It's-got-giant-wings #huge-engines. VANESSA: I-can't-fly-a-plane. BARRY: --Why-not?-Isn't-John-Travolta-a-pilot? VANESSA: --Yes. BARRY: How-hard-could-it-be? (Vanessa-sits-down-and-flies-for-a-little-bit-but-we-see-lightning-clouds outside-the-window) VANESSA: Wait #Barry! We're-headed-into-some-lightning. (An-ominous-lightning-storm-looms-in-front-of-the-plane) (We-are-now-watching-the-Bee-News) BOB-BUMBLE: This-is-Bob-Bumble.-We-have-some late-breaking-news-from-JFK-Airport #: where-a-suspenseful-scene is-developing. -: Barry-Benson #fresh-from-his-legal-victory... ADAM: That's-Barry! BOB-BUMBLE: ...is-attempting-to-land-a-plane #loaded-with-people #flowers -: and-an-incapacitated-flight-crew. JANET #MARTIN #UNCLE-CAR-AND-ADAM: Flowers?! (The-scene-switches-to-the-human-news) REPORTER: (Talking-with-Bob-Bumble) We-have-a-storm-in-the-area and-two-individuals-at-the-controls -: with-absolutely-no-flight-experience. BOB-BUMBLE: Just-a-minute. There's-a-bee-on-that-plane. BUD: I'm-quite-familiar-with-Mr.-Benson and-his-no-account-compadres. -: They've-done-enough-damage. REPORTER: But-isn't-he-your-only-hope? BUD: Technically #a-bee shouldn't-be-able-to-fly-at-all. -: Their-wings-are-too-small... BARRY: (Through-radio) Haven't-we-heard-this-a-million-times? -: 'The-surface-area-of-the-wings and-body-mass-make-no-sense.'... BOB-BUMBLE: --Get-this-on-the-air! BEE: --Got-it. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --Stand-by. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --We're-going-live! BARRY: (Through-radio-on-TV) ...The-way-we-work-may-be-a-mystery-to-you. -: Making-honey-takes-a-lot-of-bees doing-a-lot-of-small-jobs. -: But-let-me-tell-you-about-a-small-job. -: If-you-do-it-well #it-makes-a-big-difference. -: More-than-we-realized. To-us #to-everyone. -: That's-why-I-want-to-get-bees back-to-working-together. -: That's-the-bee-way! We're-not-made-of-Jell-O. -: We-get-behind-a-fellow. -: --Black-and-yellow! BEES: --Hello! (The-scene-switches-and-Barry-is-teaching-Vanessa-how-to-fly) BARRY: Left #right #down #hover. VANESSA: --Hover? BARRY: --Forget-hover. VANESSA: This-isn't-so-hard. (Pretending-to-honk-the-horn) Beep-beep!-Beep-beep! (A-Lightning-bolt-hits-the-plane-and-autopilot-turns-off) Barry #what-happened?! BARRY: Wait #I-think-we-were on-autopilot-the-whole-time. VANESSA: --That-may-have-been-helping-me. BARRY: --And-now-we're-not! VANESSA: So-it-turns-out-I-cannot-fly-a-plane. (The-plane-plummets-but-we-see-Lou-Lu-Duva-and-the-Pollen-Jocks #along-with multiple-other-bees-flying-towards-the-plane) Lou-Lu-DUva: All-of-you #let's-get behind-this-fellow!-Move-it-out! -: Move-out! (The-scene-switches-back-to-Vanessa-and-Barry-in-the-plane) BARRY: Our-only-chance-is-if-I-do-what-I'd-do #you-copy-me-with-the-wings-of-the-plane! (Barry-sticks-out-his-arms-like-an-airplane-and-flys-in-front-of-Vanessa's face) VANESSA: Don't-have-to-yell. BARRY: I'm-not-yelling! We're-in-a-lot-of-trouble. VANESSA: It's-very-hard-to-concentrate with-that-panicky-tone-in-your-voice! BARRY: It's-not-a-tone.-I'm-panicking! VANESSA: I-can't-do-this! (Barry-slaps-Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa #pull-yourself-together. You-have-to-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: (Slaps-Barry) You-snap-out-of-it. BARRY: (Slaps-Vanessa) -: You-snap-out-of-it. VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! (We-see-that-all-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-under-the-plane) VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --Hold-it! BARRY: --Why?-Come-on #it's-my-turn. VANESSA: How-is-the-plane-flying? (The-plane-is-now-safely-flying) VANESSA: I-don't-know. (Barry's-antennae-rings-like-a-phone.-Barry-picks-up) BARRY: Hello? LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') Benson #got-any-flowers for-a-happy-occasion-in-there? (All-of-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-carrying-the-plane) BARRY: The-Pollen-Jocks! -: They-do-get-behind-a-fellow. LOU-LU-DUVA: --Black-and-yellow. POLLEN-JOCKS: --Hello. LOU-LU-DUVA: All-right #let's-drop-this-tin-can on-the-blacktop. BARRY: Where?-I-can't-see-anything.-Can-you? VANESSA: No #nothing.-It's-all-cloudy. -: Come-on.-You-got-to-think-bee #Barry. BARRY: --Thinking-bee. --Thinking-bee. (On-the-runway-there-are-millions-of-bees-laying-on-their-backs) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: Wait-a-minute. I-think-I'm-feeling-something. VANESSA: --What? BARRY: --I-don't-know.-It's-strong #pulling-me. -: Like-a-27-million-year-old-instinct. -: Bring-the-nose-down. BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! CONTROL-TOWER-OPERATOR: --What-in-the-world-is-on-the-tarmac? BUD: --Get-some-lights-on-that! (It-is-revealed-that-all-the-bees-are-organized-into-a-giant-pulsating flower-formation) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Vanessa #aim-for-the-flower. VANESSA: --OK. BARRY: Out-the-engines.-We're-going-in on-bee-power.-Ready #boys? LOU-LU-DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good.-Good.-Easy #now.-That's-it. -: Land-on-that-flower! -: Ready?-Full-reverse! -: Spin-it-around! (The-plane's-nose-is-pointed-at-a-flower-painted-on-a-nearby-plane) --Not-that-flower!-The-other-one! VANESSA: --Which-one? BARRY: --That-flower. (The-plane-is-now-pointed-at-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt.-He-freaks-out and-tries-to-take-a-picture-of-the-plane) VANESSA: --I'm-aiming-at-the-flower! BARRY: That's-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt. I-mean-the-giant-pulsating-flower made-of-millions-of-bees! (The-plane-hovers-over-the-bee-flower) -: Pull-forward.-Nose-down.-Tail-up. -: Rotate-around-it. VANESSA: --This-is-insane #Barry! BARRY: --This's-the-only-way-I-know-how-to-fly. BUD: Am-I-koo-koo-kachoo #or-is-this-plane flying-in-an-insect-like-pattern? (The-plane-is-unrealistically-hovering-and-spinning-over-the-bee-flower) BARRY: Get-your-nose-in-there.-Don't-be-afraid. Smell-it.-Full-reverse! -: Just-drop-it.-Be-a-part-of-it. -: Aim-for-the-center! -: Now-drop-it-in!-Drop-it-in #woman! -: Come-on #already. (The-bees-scatter-and-the-plane-safely-lands) VANESSA: Barry #we-did-it! You-taught-me-how-to-fly! BARRY: --Yes! (Vanessa-is-about-to-high-five-Barry) No-high-five! VANESSA: --Right. ADAM: Barry #it-worked! Did-you-see-the-giant-flower? BARRY: What-giant-flower?-Where?-Of-course I-saw-the-flower!-That-was-genius! ADAM: --Thank-you. BARRY: --But-we're-not-done-yet. -: Listen #everyone! -: This-runway-is-covered with-the-last-pollen -: from-the-last-flowers available-anywhere-on-Earth. -: That-means-this-is-our-last-chance. -: We're-the-only-ones-who-make-honey #pollinate-flowers-and-dress-like-this. -: If-we're-gonna-survive-as-a-species #this-is-our-moment!-What-do-you-say? -: Are-we-going-to-be-bees #or-just Museum-of-Natural-History-keychains? BEES: We're-bees! BEE-WHO-LIKES-KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then-follow-me!-Except-Keychain. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Hold-on #Barry.-Here. -: You've-earned-this. BARRY: Yeah! -: I'm-a-Pollen-Jock!-And-it's-a-perfect fit.-All-I-gotta-do-are-the-sleeves. (The-Pollen-Jocks-throw-Barry-a-nectar-collecting-gun.-Barry-catches-it) Oh #yeah. JANET: That's-our-Barry. (Barry-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-get-pollen-from-the-flowers-on-the-plane) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-over-NYC) -: (Barry-pollinates-the-flowers-in-Vanessa's-shop-and-then-heads-to-Central Park) BOY-IN-PARK: Mom!-The-bees-are-back! ADAM: (Putting-on-his-Krelman-hat) If-anybody-needs to-make-a-call #now's-the-time. -: I-got-a-feeling-we'll-be working-late-tonight! (The-bee-honey-factories-are-back-up-and-running) (Meanwhile-at-Vanessa's-shop) VANESSA: (To-customer) Here's-your-change.-Have-a-great afternoon!-Can-I-help-who's-next? -: Would-you-like-some-honey-with-that? It-is-bee-approved.-Don't-forget-these. (There-is-a-room-in-the-shop-where-Barry-does-legal-work-for-other-animals. He-is-currently-talking-with-a-Cow) COW: Milk #cream #cheese #it's-all-me. And-I-don't-see-a-nickel! -: Sometimes-I-just-feel like-a-piece-of-meat! BARRY: I-had-no-idea. VANESSA: Barry #I'm-sorry. Have-you-got-a-moment? BARRY: Would-you-excuse-me? My-mosquito-associate-will-help-you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry-I'm-late. COW: He's-a-lawyer-too? MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am #I-was-already-a-blood-sucking-parasite. All-I-needed-was-a-briefcase. VANESSA: Have-a-great-afternoon! -: Barry #I-just-got-this-huge-tulip-order #and-I-can't-get-them-anywhere. BARRY: No-problem #Vannie. Just-leave-it-to-me. VANESSA: You're-a-lifesaver #Barry. Can-I-help-who's-next? BARRY: All-right #scramble #jocks! It's-time-to-fly. VANESSA: Thank-you #Barry! (Ken-walks-by-on-the-sidewalk-and-sees-the-'bee-approved-honey'-in Vanessa's-shop) KEN: That-bee-is-living-my-life!! ANDY: Let-it-go #Kenny. KEN: --When-will-this-nightmare-end?! ANDY: --Let-it-all-go. BARRY: --Beautiful-day-to-fly. POLLEN-JOCK: --Sure-is. BARRY: Between-you-and-me #I-was-dying-to-get-out-of-that-office. (Barry-recreates-the-scene-near-the-beginning-of-the-movie-where-he-flies through-the-box-kite.-The-movie-fades-to-black-and-the-credits-being) [--after-credits;-No-scene-can-be-seen-but-the-characters-can-be-heard talking-over-the-credits--] You-have-got to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend! -: --Thinking-bee! --Me? BARRY: (Talking-over-singer) Hold-it.-Let's-just-stop for-a-second.-Hold-it. -: I'm-sorry.-I'm-sorry #everyone. Can-we-stop-here? SINGER: Oh #BarryBARRY: I'm-not-making-a-major-life-decision during-a-production-number! SINGER: All-right.-Take-ten #everybody. Wrap-it-up #guys. BARRY: I-had-virtually-no-rehearsal-for-that.#scriptscombeemoviebyjerryseinfeldnarratorblackscreenwithtextthesoundofbuzzingbeescanbeheardaccordingtoallknownlawsofaviation #thereisnowayabeeshouldbeabletoflyitswingsaretoosmalltogetitsfatlittlebodyoffthegroundthebee #ofcourse #fliesanywaybecausebeesdontcarewhathumansthinkisimpossiblebarrybensonbarryispickingoutashirtyellow #blackyellow #blackooh -
ok here we go
#Scripts.com Bee-Movie By-Jerry-Seinfeld NARRATOR: (Black-screen-with-text;-The-sound-of-buzzing-bees-can-be-heard) According-to-all-known-laws of-aviation #: there-is-no-way-a-bee should-be-able-to-fly. -: Its-wings-are-too-small-to-get its-fat-little-body-off-the-ground. -: The-bee #of-course #flies-anyway -: because-bees-don't-care what-humans-think-is-impossible. BARRY-BENSON: (Barry-is-picking-out-a-shirt) Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. -: Ooh #black-and-yellow! Let's-shake-it-up-a-little. JANET-BENSON: Barry!-Breakfast-is-ready! BARRY: Coming! -: Hang-on-a-second. (Barry-uses-his-antenna-like-a-phone) -: Hello? ADAM-FLAYMAN: (Through-phone) --Barry? BARRY: --Adam? ADAM: --Can-you-believe-this-is-happening? BARRY: --I-can't.-I'll-pick-you-up. (Barry-flies-down-the-stairs) -: MARTIN-BENSON: Looking-sharp. JANET: Use-the-stairs.-Your-father paid-good-money-for-those. BARRY: Sorry.-I'm-excited. MARTIN: Here's-the-graduate. We're-very-proud-of-you #son. -: A-perfect-report-card #all-B's. JANET: Very-proud. (Rubs-Barry's-hair) BARRY= Ma!-I-got-a-thing-going-here. JANET: --You-got-lint-on-your-fuzz. BARRY: --Ow!-That's-me! JANET: --Wave-to-us!-We'll-be-in-row-118 #000. --Bye! (Barry-flies-out-the-door) JANET: Barry #I-told-you #stop-flying-in-the-house! (Barry-drives-through-the-hive #and-is-waved-at-by-Adam-who-is-reading-a newspaper) BARRY== --Hey #Adam. ADAM: --Hey #Barry. (Adam-gets-in-Barry's-car) -: --Is-that-fuzz-gel? BARRY: --A-little.-Special-day #graduation. ADAM: Never-thought-I'd-make-it. (Barry-pulls-away-from-the-house-and-continues-driving) BARRY: Three-days-grade-school #three-days-high-school... ADAM: Those-were-awkward. BARRY: Three-days-college.-I'm-glad-I-took a-day-and-hitchhiked-around-the-hive. ADAM== You-did-come-back-different. (Barry-and-Adam-pass-by-Artie #who-is-jogging) ARTIE: --Hi #Barry! BARRY: --Artie #growing-a-mustache?-Looks-good. ADAM: --Hear-about-Frankie? BARRY: --Yeah. ADAM== --You-going-to-the-funeral? BARRY: --No #I'm-not-going-to-his-funeral. -: Everybody-knows #sting-someone #you-die. -: Don't-waste-it-on-a-squirrel. Such-a-hothead. ADAM: I-guess-he-could-have just-gotten-out-of-the-way. (The-car-does-a-barrel-roll-on-the-loop-shaped-bridge-and-lands-on-the highway) -: I-love-this-incorporating an-amusement-park-into-our-regular-day. BARRY: I-guess-that's-why-they-say-we-don't-need-vacations. (Barry-parallel-parks-the-car-and-together-they-fly-over-the-graduating students) Boy #quite-a-bit-of-pomp... under-the-circumstances. (Barry-and-Adam-sit-down-and-put-on-their-hats) -: --Well #Adam #today-we-are-men. ADAM: --We-are! BARRY= --Bee-men. =ADAM= --Amen! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry-and-Adam-both-have-a-happy-spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students #faculty #distinguished-bees #: please-welcome-Dean-Buzzwell. DEAN-BUZZWELL: Welcome #New-Hive-Oity graduating-class-of... -: ...9: -: That-concludes-our-ceremonies. -: And-begins-your-career at-Honex-Industries! ADAM: Will-we-pick-our-job-today? (Adam-and-Barry-get-into-a-tour-bus) BARRY= I-heard-it's-just-orientation. (Tour-buses-rise-out-of-the-ground-and-the-students-are-automatically loaded-into-the-buses) TOUR-GUIDE: Heads-up!-Here-we-go. ANNOUNCER: Keep-your-hands-and-antennas inside-the-tram-at-all-times. BARRY: --Wonder-what-it'll-be-like? ADAM: --A-little-scary. TOUR-GUIDE== Welcome-to-Honex #a-division-of-Honesco -: and-a-part-of-the-Hexagon-Group. Barry: This-is-it! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The-bus-drives-down-a-road-an-on-either-side-are-the-Bee's-massive complicated-Honey-making-machines) TOUR-GUIDE: We-know-that-you #as-a-bee #have-worked-your-whole-life -: to-get-to-the-point-where-you can-work-for-your-whole-life. -: Honey-begins-when-our-valiant-Pollen Jocks-bring-the-nectar-to-the-hive. -: Our-top-secret-formula -: is-automatically-color-corrected #scent-adjusted-and-bubble-contoured -: into-this-soothing-sweet-syrup -: with-its-distinctive golden-glow-you-know-as... EVERYONE-ON-BUS: Honey! (The-guide-has-been-collecting-honey-into-a-bottle-and-she-throws-it-into the-crowd-on-the-bus-and-it-is-caught-by-a-girl-in-the-back) ADAM: --That-girl-was-hot. BARRY: --She's-my-cousin! ADAM== --She-is? BARRY: --Yes #we're-all-cousins. ADAM: --Right.-You're-right. TOUR-GUIDE: --At-Honex #we-constantly-strive -: to-improve-every-aspect of-bee-existence. -: These-bees-are-stress-testing a-new-helmet-technology. (The-bus-passes-by-a-Bee-wearing-a-helmet-who-is-being-smashed-into-the ground-with-fly-swatters #newspapers-and-boots.-He-lifts-a-thumbs-up-but you-can-hear-him-groan) -: ADAM== --What-do-you-think-he-makes? BARRY: --Not-enough. TOUR-GUIDE: Here-we-have-our-latest-advancement #the-Krelman. (They-pass-by-a-turning-wheel-with-Bees-standing-on-pegs #who-are-each wearing-a-finger-shaped-hat) Barry: --Wow #What-does-that-do? TOUR-GUIDE: --Catches-that-little-strand-of-honey -: that-hangs-after-you-pour-it. Saves-us-millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can-anyone-work-on-the-Krelman? TOUR-GUIDE: Of-course.-Most-bee-jobs-are small-ones. But-bees-know-that-every-small-job #if-it's-done-well #means-a-lot. -: But-choose-carefully -: because-you'll-stay-in-the-job you-pick-for-the-rest-of-your-life. (Everyone-claps-except-for-Barry) BARRY: The-same-job-the-rest-of-your-life? I-didn't-know-that. ADAM: What's-the-difference? TOUR-GUIDE: You'll-be-happy-to-know-that-bees #as-a-species #haven't-had-one-day-off -: in-27-million-years. BARRY: (Upset) So-you'll-just-work-us-to-death? -: We'll-sure-try. (Everyone-on-the-bus-laughs-except-Barry.-Barry-and-Adam-are-walking-back home-together) ADAM: Wow!-That-blew-my-mind! BARRY: 'What's-the-difference?' How-can-you-say-that? -: One-job-forever? That's-an-insane-choice-to-have-to-make. ADAM: I'm-relieved.-Now-we-only-have to-make-one-decision-in-life. BARRY: But #Adam #how-could-they never-have-told-us-that? ADAM: Why-would-you-question-anything? We're-bees. -: We're-the-most-perfectly functioning-society-on-Earth. BARRY: You-ever-think-maybe-things work-a-little-too-well-here? ADAM: Like-what?-Give-me-one-example. (Barry-and-Adam-stop-walking-and-it-is-revealed-to-the-audience-that hundreds-of-cars-are-speeding-by-and-narrowly-missing-them-in-perfect unison) BARRY: I-don't-know.-But-you-know what-I'm-talking-about. ANNOUNCER: Please-clear-the-gate. Royal-Nectar-Force-on-approach. BARRY: Wait-a-second.-Check-it-out. (The-Pollen-jocks-fly-in #circle-around-and-landing-in-line) -: --Hey #those-are-Pollen-Jocks! ADAM: --Wow. -: I've-never-seen-them-this-close. BARRY: They-know-what-it's-like outside-the-hive. ADAM: Yeah #but-some-don't-come-back. GIRL-BEES: --Hey #Jocks! --Hi #Jocks! (The-Pollen-Jocks-hook-up-their-backpacks-to-machines-that-pump-the-nectar to-trucks #which-drive-away) LOU-LO-DUVA: You-guys-did-great! -: You're-monsters! You're-sky-freaks! I-love-it! (Punching-the-Pollen-Jocks-in-joy) I-love-it! ADAM: --I-wonder-where-they-were. BARRY: --I-don't-know. -: Their-day's-not-planned. -: Outside-the-hive #flying-who-knows where #doing-who-knows-what. -: You-can't-just-decide-to-be-a-Pollen Jock.-You-have-to-be-bred-for-that. ADAM== Right. (Barry-and-Adam-are-covered-in-some-pollen-that-floated-off-of-the-Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look-at-that.-That's-more-pollen than-you-and-I-will-see-in-a-lifetime. ADAM: It's-just-a-status-symbol. Bees-make-too-much-of-it. BARRY: Perhaps.-Unless-you're-wearing-it and-the-ladies-see-you-wearing-it. (Barry-waves-at-2-girls-standing-a-little-away-from-them) ADAM== Those-ladies? Aren't-they-our-cousins-too? BARRY: Distant.-Distant. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Look-at-these-two. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Couple-of-Hive-Harrys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --Let's-have-fun-with-them. GIRL-BEE-#1: It-must-be-dangerous being-a-Pollen-Jock. BARRY: Yeah.-Once-a-bear-pinned-me against-a-mushroom! -: He-had-a-paw-on-my-throat #and-with-the-other #he-was-slapping-me! (Slaps-Adam-with-his-hand-to-represent-his-scenario) GIRL-BEE-#2: --Oh #my! BARRY: --I-never-thought-I'd-knock-him-out. GIRL-BEE-#1: (Looking-at-Adam) What-were-you-doing-during-this? ADAM: Obviously-I-was-trying-to-alert-the-authorities. BARRY: I-can-autograph-that. (The-pollen-jocks-walk-up-to-Barry-and-Adam #they-pretend-that-Barry-and Adam-really-are-pollen-jocks.) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: A-little-gusty-out-there-today #wasn't-it #comrades? BARRY: Yeah.-Gusty. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-hitting-a-sunflower-patch six-miles-from-here-tomorrow. BARRY: --Six-miles #huh? ADAM: --Barry! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: A-puddle-jump-for-us #but-maybe-you're-not-up-for-it. BARRY: --Maybe-I-am. ADAM: --You-are-not! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-going-0900-at-J-Gate. -: What-do-you-think #buzzy-boy? Are-you-bee-enough? BARRY: I-might-be.-It-all-depends on-what-0900-means. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-looking-out-on-the-hive-city-from-his-balcony-at night) MARTIN: Hey #Honex! BARRY: Dad #you-surprised-me. MARTIN: You-decide-what-you're-interested-in? BARRY: --Well #there's-a-lot-of-choices. --But-you-only-get-one. -: Do-you-ever-get-bored doing-the-same-job-every-day? MARTIN: Son #let-me-tell-you-about-stirring. -: You-grab-that-stick #and-you-just move-it-around #and-you-stir-it-around. -: You-get-yourself-into-a-rhythm. It's-a-beautiful-thing. BARRY: You-know #Dad #the-more-I-think-about-it #: maybe-the-honey-field just-isn't-right-for-me. MARTIN: You-were-thinking-of-what #making-balloon-animals? -: That's-a-bad-job for-a-guy-with-a-stinger. -: Janet #your-son's-not-sure he-wants-to-go-into-honey! JANET: --Barry #you-are-so-funny-sometimes. BARRY: --I'm-not-trying-to-be-funny. MARTIN: You're-not-funny!-You're-going into-honey.-Our-son #the-stirrer! JANET: --You're-gonna-be-a-stirrer? BARRY: --No-one's-listening-to-me! MARTIN: Wait-till-you-see-the-sticks-I-have. BARRY: I-could-say-anything-right-now. I'm-gonna-get-an-ant-tattoo! (Barry's-parents-don't-listen-to-him-and-continue-to-ramble-on) MARTIN: Let's-open-some-honey-and-celebrate! BARRY: Maybe-I'll-pierce-my-thorax. Shave-my-antennae. -: Shack-up-with-a-grasshopper.-Get a-gold-tooth-and-call-everybody-'dawg'! JANET: I'm-so-proud. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-and-Adam-waiting-in-line-to-get-a-job) ADAM: --We're-starting-work-today! BARRY: --Today's-the-day. ADAM: Come-on!-All-the-good-jobs will-be-gone. BARRY: Yeah #right. JOB-LISTER: Pollen-counting #stunt-bee #pouring #stirrer #front-desk #hair-removal... BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Is-it-still-available? JOB-LISTER: --Hang-on.-Two-left! -: One-of-them's-yours!-Congratulations! Step-to-the-side. ADAM: --What'd-you-get? BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Picking-crud-out.-Stellar! (He-walks-away) ADAM: Wow! JOB-LISTER: Couple-of-newbies? ADAM: Yes #sir!-Our-first-day!-We-are-ready! JOB-LISTER: Make-your-choice. (Adam-and-Barry-look-up-at-the-job-board.-There-are-hundreds-of-constantly changing-panels-that-contain-available-or-unavailable-jobs.-It-looks-very confusing) ADAM: --You-want-to-go-first? BARRY: --No #you-go. ADAM: Oh #my.-What's-available? JOB-LISTER: Restroom-attendant's-open #not-for-the-reason-you-think. ADAM: --Any-chance-of-getting-the-Krelman? JOB-LISTER: --Sure #you're-on. (Puts-the-Krelman-finger-hat-on-Adam's-head) (Suddenly-the-sign-for-Krelman-closes-out) -: I'm-sorry #the-Krelman-just-closed-out. (Takes-Adam's-hat-off) Wax-monkey's-always-open. ADAM: The-Krelman-opened-up-again. -: What-happened? JOB-LISTER: A-bee-died.-Makes-an-opening.-See? He's-dead.-Another-dead-one. -: Deady.-Deadified.-Two-more-dead. -: Dead-from-the-neck-up. Dead-from-the-neck-down.-That's-life! ADAM: Oh #this-is-so-hard! (Barry-remembers-what-the-Pollen-Jock-offered-him-and-he-flies-off) Heating #cooling #stunt-bee #pourer #stirrer #: humming #inspector-number-seven #lint-coordinator #stripe-supervisor #: mite-wrangler.-Barry #what do-you-think-I-should...-Barry? (Adam-turns-around-and-sees-Barry-flying-away) -: Barry! POLLEN-JOCK: All-right #we've-got-the-sunflower-patch in-quadrant-nine... ADAM: (Through-phone) What-happened-to-you? Where-are-you? BARRY: --I'm-going-out. ADAM: --Out?-Out-where? BARRY: --Out-there. ADAM: --Oh #no! BARRY: I-have-to #before-I-go to-work-for-the-rest-of-my-life. ADAM: You're-gonna-die!-You're-crazy! (Barry-hangs-up) Hello? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Another-call-coming-in. -: If-anyone's-feeling-brave #there's-a-Korean-deli-on-83rd -: that-gets-their-roses-today. BARRY: Hey #guys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1-== --Look-at-that. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Isn't-that-the-kid-we-saw-yesterday? LOU-LO-DUVA: Hold-it #son #flight-deck's-restricted. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: It's-OK #Lou.-We're-gonna-take-him-up. (Puts-hand-on-Barry's-shoulder) LOU-LO-DUVA: (To-Barry)-Really?-Feeling-lucky #are-you? BEE-WITH-CLIPBOARD: (To-Barry)-Sign-here #here.-Just-initial-that. -: --Thank-you. LOU-LO-DUVA: --OK. -: You-got-a-rain-advisory-today #: and-as-you-all-know #bees-cannot-fly-in-rain. -: So-be-careful.-As-always #watch-your-brooms #: hockey-sticks #dogs #birds #bears-and-bats. -: Also #I-got-a-couple-of-reports of-root-beer-being-poured-on-us. -: Murphy's-in-a-home-because-of-it #babbling-like-a-cicada! BARRY: --That's-awful. LOU-LO-DUVA: (Still-talking-through-megaphone) --And-a-reminder-for-you-rookies #: bee-law-number-one #absolutely-no-talking-to-humans! -: All-right #launch-positions! POLLEN-JOCKS: (The-Pollen-Jocks-run-into-formation) -: Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz! LOU-LU-DUVA: Black-and-yellow! POLLEN-JOCKS: Hello! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (To-Barry)You-ready-for-this #hot-shot? BARRY: Yeah.-Yeah #bring-it-on. POLLEN-JOCK's: Wind #check. -: --Antennae #check. --Nectar-pack #check. -: --Wings #check. --Stinger #check. BARRY: Scared-out-of-my-shorts #check. LOU-LO-DUVA: OK #ladies #: let's-move-it-out! -: Pound-those-petunias #you-striped-stem-suckers! -: All-of-you #drain-those-flowers! (The-pollen-jocks-fly-out-of-the-hive) BARRY: Wow!-I'm-out! -: I-can't-believe-I'm-out! -: So-blue. -: I-feel-so-fast-and-free! -: Box-kite! (Barry-flies-through-the-kite) -: Wow! -: Flowers! (A-pollen-jock-puts-on-some-high-tech-goggles-that-shows-flowers-similar-to heat-sink-goggles.) POLLEN-JOCK: This-is-Blue-Leader. We-have-roses-visual. -: Bring-it-around-30-degrees-and-hold. -: Roses! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: 30-degrees #roger.-Bringing-it-around. -: Stand-to-the-side #kid. It's-got-a-bit-of-a-kick. (The-pollen-jock-fires-a-high-tech-gun-at-the-flower #shooting-tubes-that suck-up-the-nectar-from-the-flower-and-collects-it-into-a-pouch-on-the-gun) BARRY: That-is-one-nectar-collector! POLLEN-JOCK-#1== --Ever-see-pollination-up-close? BARRY: --No #sir. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Barry-and-the-Pollen-jock-fly-over-the-field #the-pollen-jock-sprinkles pollen-as-he-goes) -: I-pick-up-some-pollen-here #sprinkle-it over-here.-Maybe-a-dash-over-there #: a-pinch-on-that-one. See-that?-It's-a-little-bit-of-magic. BARRY: That's-amazing.-Why-do-we-do-that? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: That's-pollen-power.-More-pollen #more flowers #more-nectar #more-honey-for-us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: I'm-picking-up-a-lot-of-bright-yellow. could-be-daisies.-Don't-we-need-those? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Copy-that-visual. -: Wait.-One-of-these-flowers seems-to-be-on-the-move. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Say-again?-You're-reporting a-moving-flower? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Affirmative. (The-Pollen-jocks-land-near-the-'flowers'-which #to-the-audience-are obviously-just-tennis-balls) KEN: (In-the-distance)-That-was-on-the-line! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: This-is-the-coolest.-What-is-it? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-know #but-I'm-loving-this-color. -: It-smells-good. Not-like-a-flower #but-I-like-it. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Yeah #fuzzy. (Sticks-his-hand-on-the-ball-but-it-gets-stuck) POLLEN-JOCK-#3== Chemical-y. (The-pollen-jock-finally-gets-his-hand-free-from-the-tennis-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Careful #guys.-It's-a-little-grabby. (The-pollen-jocks-turn-around-and-see-Barry-lying-his-entire-body-on-top-of one-of-the-tennis-balls) POLLEN-JOCK-#2: My-sweet-lord-of-bees! POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Candy-brain #get-off-there! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Pointing-upwards) Problem! (A-human-hand-reaches-down-and-grabs-the-tennis-ball-that-Barry-is-stuck to) BARRY: --Guys! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --This-could-be-bad. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Affirmative. (Vanessa-Bloome-starts-bouncing-the-tennis-ball #not-knowing-Barry-is-stick to-it) BARRY== Very-close. -: Gonna-hurt. -: Mama's-little-boy. (Barry-is-being-hit-back-and-forth-by-two-humans-playing-tennis.-He-is still-stuck-to-the-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: You-are-way-out-of-position #rookie! KEN: Coming-in-at-you-like-a-MISSILE! (Barry-flies-past-the-pollen-jocks #still-stuck-to-the-ball) BARRY: (In-slow-motion) Help-me! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-think-these-are-flowers. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: --Should-we-tell-him? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --I-think-he-knows. BARRY: What-is-this?! KEN: Match-point! -: You-can-start-packing-up #honey #because-you're-about-to-EAT-IT! (A-pollen-jock-coughs-which-confused-Ken-and-he-hits-the-ball-the-wrong-way with-Barry-stuck-to-it-and-it-goes-flying-into-the-city) BARRY: Yowser! (Barry-bounces-around-town-and-gets-stuck-in-the-engine-of-a-car.-He-flies into-the-air-conditioner-and-sees-a-bug-that-was-frozen-in-there) BARRY: Ew #gross. (The-man-driving-the-car-turns-on-the-air-conditioner-which-blows-Barry into-the-car) GIRL-IN-CAR: There's-a-bee-in-the-car! -: --Do-something! DAD-DRIVING-CAR: --I'm-driving! BABY-GIRL: (Waving-at-Barry) --Hi #bee. (Barry-smiles-and-waves-at-the-baby-girl) GUY-IN-BACK-OF-CAR: --He's-back-here! -: He's-going-to-sting-me! GIRL-IN-CAR: Nobody-move.-If-you-don't-move #he-won't-sting-you.-Freeze! (Barry-freezes-as-well #hovering-in-the-middle-of-the-car) -: GRANDMA-IN-CAR== He-blinked! (The-grandma-whips-out-some-bee-spray-and-sprays-everywhere-in-the-car #climbing-into-the-front-seat #still-trying-to-spray-Barry) GIRL-IN-CAR: Spray-him #Granny! DAD-DRIVING-THE-CAR: What-are-you-doing?! (Barry-escapes-the-car-through-the-air-conditioner-and-is-flying-high-above the-ground #safe.) BARRY: Wow...-the-tension-level out-here-is-unbelievable. (Barry-sees-that-storm-clouds-are-gathering-and-he-can-see-rain-clouds moving-into-this-direction) -: I-gotta-get-home. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-rain-drop-hits-Barry-and-one-of-his-wings-is-damaged) -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-second-rain-drop-hits-Barry-again-and-he-spirals-downwards) Mayday!-Mayday!-Bee-going-down! (WW2-plane-sound-effects-are-played-as-he-plummets #and-he-crash-lands-on-a plant-inside-an-apartment-near-the-window) VANESSA-BLOOME: Ken #could-you-close the-window-please? KEN== Hey #check-out-my-new-resume. I-made-it-into-a-fold-out-brochure. -: You-see? (Folds-brochure-resume-out) Folds-out. (Ken-closes-the-window #trapping-Barry-inside) BARRY: Oh #no.-More-humans.-I-don't-need-this. (Barry-tries-to-fly-away-but-smashes-into-the-window-and-falls-again) -: What-was-that? (Barry-keeps-trying-to-fly-out-the-window-but-he-keeps-being-knocked-back because-the-window-is-closed) Maybe-this-time.-This-time.-This-time. This-time!-This-time!-This... -: Drapes! (Barry-taps-the-glass.-He-doesn't-understand-what-it-is) That-is-diabolical. KEN: It's-fantastic.-It's-got-all-my-special skills #even-my-top-ten-favorite-movies. ANDY: What's-number-one?-Star-Wars? KEN: Nah #I-don't-go-for-that... (Ken-makes-finger-guns-and-makes-'pew-pew-pew'-sounds-and-then-stops) -: ...kind-of-stuff. BARRY: No-wonder-we-shouldn't-talk-to-them. They're-out-of-their-minds. KEN: When-I-leave-a-job-interview #they're flabbergasted #can't-believe-what-I-say. BARRY: (Looking-at-the-light-on-the-ceiling) There's-the-sun.-Maybe-that's-a-way-out. (Starts-flying-towards-the-lightbulb) -: I-don't-remember-the-sun having-a-big-75-on-it. (Barry-hits-the-lightbulb-and-falls-into-the-dip-on-the-table-that-the humans-are-sitting-at) KEN: I-predicted-global-warming. -: I-could-feel-it-getting-hotter. At-first-I-thought-it-was-just-me. (Andy-dips-a-chip-into-the-bowl-and-scoops-up-some-dip-with-Barry-on-it-and is-about-to-put-it-in-his-mouth) -: Wait!-Stop!-Bee! (Andy-drops-the-chip-with-Barry-in-fear-and-backs-away.-All-the-humans freak-out) -: Stand-back.-These-are-winter-boots. (Ken-has-winter-boots-on-his-hands-and-he-is-about-to-smash-the-bee-but Vanessa-saves-him-last-second) VANESSA: Wait! -: Don't-kill-him! (Vanessa-puts-Barry-in-a-glass-to-protect-him) KEN: You-know-I'm-allergic-to-them! This-thing-could-kill-me! VANESSA: Why-does-his-life-have less-value-than-yours? KEN: Why-does-his-life-have-any-less-value than-mine?-Is-that-your-statement? VANESSA: I'm-just-saying-all-life-has-value.-You don't-know-what-he's-capable-of-feeling. (Vanessa-picks-up-Ken's-brochure-and-puts-it-under-the-glass-so-she-can carry-Barry-back-to-the-window.-Barry-looks-at-Vanessa-in-amazement) KEN: My-brochure! VANESSA: There-you-go #little-guy. (Vanessa-opens-the-window-and-lets-Barry-out-but-Barry-stays-back-and-is still-shocked-that-a-human-saved-his-life) KEN: I'm-not-scared-of-him. It's-an-allergic-thing. VANESSA: Put-that-on-your-resume-brochure. KEN: My-whole-face-could-puff-up. ANDY: Make-it-one-of-your-special-skills. KEN: Knocking-someone-out is-also-a-special-skill. (Ken-walks-to-the-door) Right.-Bye #Vanessa.-Thanks. -: --Vanessa #next-week?-Yogurt-night? VANESSA: --Sure #Ken.-You-know #whatever. -: (Vanessa-tries-to-close-door) KEN== --You-could-put-carob-chips-on-there. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door-but-Ken-opens-it-again) KEN: --Supposed-to-be-less-calories. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door) (Fast-forward-to-the-next-day #Barry-is-still-inside-the-house.-He-flies into-the-kitchen-where-Vanessa-is-doing-dishes) BARRY== (Talking-to-himself) I-gotta-say-something. -: She-saved-my-life. I-gotta-say-something. -: All-right #here-it-goes. (Turns-back) Nah. -: What-would-I-say? -: I-could-really-get-in-trouble. -: It's-a-bee-law. You're-not-supposed-to-talk-to-a-human. -: I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this. -: I've-got-to. (Barry-disguises-himself-as-a-character-on-a-food-can-as-Vanessa-walks-by again) -: Oh #I-can't-do-it.-Come-on! -: No.-Yes.-No. -: Do-it.-I-can't. -: How-should-I-start-it? (Barry-strikes-a-pose-and-wiggles-his-eyebrows) 'You-like-jazz?' No #that's-no-good. (Vanessa-is-about-to-walk-past-Barry) Here-she-comes!-Speak #you-fool! -: ...Hi! (Vanessa-gasps-and-drops-the-dishes-in-fright-and-notices-Barry-on-the counter) -: I'm-sorry. VANESSA: --You're-talking. BARRY: --Yes #I-know. VANESSA: (Pointing-at-Barry) You're-talking! BARRY: I'm-so-sorry. VANESSA: No #it's-OK.-It's-fine. I-know-I'm-dreaming. -: But-I-don't-recall-going-to-bed. BARRY: Well #I'm-sure-this is-very-disconcerting. VANESSA: This-is-a-bit-of-a-surprise-to-me. I-mean #you're-a-bee! BARRY: I-am.-And-I'm-not-supposed to-be-doing-this #(Pointing-to-the-living-room-where-Ken-tried-to-kill-him-last-night) but-they-were-all-trying-to-kill-me. -: And-if-it-wasn't-for-you... -: I-had-to-thank-you. It's-just-how-I-was-raised. (Vanessa-stabs-her-hand-with-a-fork-to-test-whether-she's-dreaming-or-not) -: That-was-a-little-weird. VANESSA: --I'm-talking-with-a-bee. BARRY: --Yeah. VANESSA: I'm-talking-to-a-bee. And-the-bee-is-talking-to-me! BARRY: I-just-want-to-say-I'm-grateful. I'll-leave-now. (Barry-turns-to-leave) VANESSA: --Wait!-How-did-you-learn-to-do-that? BARRY: (Flying-back) --What? VANESSA: The-talking...thing. BARRY: Same-way-you-did #I-guess. 'Mama #Dada #honey.'-You-pick-it-up. VANESSA: --That's-very-funny. BARRY: --Yeah. -: Bees-are-funny.-If-we-didn't-laugh #we'd-cry-with-what-we-have-to-deal-with. -: Anyway... VANESSA: Can-I... -: ...get-you-something? BARRY: --Like-what? VANESSA: I-don't-know.-I-mean... I-don't-know.-Coffee? BARRY: I-don't-want-to-put-you-out. VANESSA: It's-no-trouble.-It-takes-two-minutes. -: --It's-just-coffee. BARRY: --I-hate-to-impose. (Vanessa-starts-making-coffee) VANESSA: --Don't-be-ridiculous! BARRY: --Actually #I-would-love-a-cup. VANESSA: Hey #you-want-rum-cake? BARRY: --I-shouldn't. VANESSA: --Have-some. BARRY: --No #I-can't. VANESSA: --Come-on! BARRY: I'm-trying-to-lose-a-couple-micrograms. VANESSA: --Where? BARRY: --These-stripes-don't-help. VANESSA: You-look-great! BARRY: I-don't-know-if-you-know anything-about-fashion. -: Are-you-all-right? VANESSA: (Pouring-coffee-on-the-floor-and-missing-the-cup-completely) No. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-sitting-together-at-a-table on-top-of-the-apartment-building-drinking-coffee) -: BARRY== He's-making-the-tie-in-the-cab as-they're-flying-up-Madison. -: He-finally-gets-there. -: He-runs-up-the-steps-into-the-church. The-wedding-is-on. -: And-he-says #'Watermelon? I-thought-you-said-Guatemalan. -: Why-would-I-marry-a-watermelon?' (Barry-laughs-but-Vanessa-looks-confused) VANESSA: Is-that-a-bee-joke? BARRY: That's-the-kind-of-stuff-we-do. VANESSA: Yeah #different. -: So #what-are-you-gonna-do #Barry? (Barry-stands-on-top-of-a-sugar-cube-floating-in-his-coffee-and-paddles-it around-with-a-straw-like-it's-a-gondola) BARRY: About-work?-I-don't-know. -: I-want-to-do-my-part-for-the-hive #but-I-can't-do-it-the-way-they-want. VANESSA: I-know-how-you-feel. BARRY: --You-do? VANESSA: --Sure. -: My-parents-wanted-me-to-be-a-lawyer-or a-doctor #but-I-wanted-to-be-a-florist. BARRY: --Really? VANESSA: --My-only-interest-is-flowers. BARRY: Our-new-queen-was-just-elected with-that-same-campaign-slogan. -: Anyway #if-you-look... (Barry-points-to-a-tree-in-the-middle-of-Central-Park) -: There's-my-hive-right-there.-See-it? VANESSA: You're-in-Sheep-Meadow! BARRY: Yes!-I'm-right-off-the-Turtle-Pond! VANESSA: No-way!-I-know-that-area. I-lost-a-toe-ring-there-once. BARRY: --Why-do-girls-put-rings-on-their-toes? VANESSA: --Why-not? BARRY: --It's-like-putting-a-hat-on-your-knee. VANESSA: --Maybe-I'll-try-that. (A-custodian-installing-a-lightbulb-looks-over-at-them-but-to-his perspective-it-looks-like-Vanessa-is-talking-to-a-cup-of-coffee-on-the table) CUSTODIAN: --You-all-right #ma'am? VANESSA: --Oh #yeah.-Fine. -: Just-having-two-cups-of-coffee! BARRY: Anyway #this-has-been-great. Thanks-for-the-coffee. VANESSA== Yeah #it's-no-trouble. BARRY: Sorry-I-couldn't-finish-it.-If-I-did #I'd-be-up-the-rest-of-my-life. (Barry-points-towards-the-rum-cake) -: Can-I-take-a-piece-of-this-with-me? VANESSA: Sure!-Here #have-a-crumb. (Vanessa-hands-Barry-a-crumb-but-it-is-still-pretty-big-for-Barry) BARRY: --Thanks! VANESSA: --Yeah. BARRY: All-right.-Well #then... I-guess-I'll-see-you-around. -: Or-not. VANESSA: OK #Barry... BARRY: And-thank-you so-much-again...-for-before. VANESSA: Oh #that?-That-was-nothing. BARRY: Well #not-nothing #but...-Anyway... (Vanessa-and-Barry-hold-hands #but-Vanessa-has-to-hold-out-a-finger-because her-hands-is-to-big-and-Barry-holds-that) (The-custodian-looks-over-again-and-it-appears-Vanessa-is-laughing-at-her coffee-again.-The-lightbulb-that-he-was-screwing-in-sparks-and-he-falls-off the-ladder) (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-two-Bee-Scientists-testing-out-a-parachute in-a-Honex-wind-tunnel) BEE-SCIENTIST-#1: This-can't-possibly-work. BEE-SCIENTIST-#2: He's-all-set-to-go. We-may-as-well-try-it. -: OK #Dave #pull-the-chute. (Dave-pulls-the-chute-and-the-wind-slams-him-against-the-wall-and-he-falls on-his-face.The-camera-pans-over-and-we-see-Barry-and-Adam-walking together) ADAM: --Sounds-amazing. BARRY: --It-was-amazing! -: It-was-the-scariest #happiest-moment-of-my-life. ADAM: Humans!-I-can't-believe you-were-with-humans! -: Giant #scary-humans! What-were-they-like? BARRY: Huge-and-crazy.-They-talk-crazy. -: They-eat-crazy-giant-things. They-drive-crazy. ADAM: --Do-they-try-and-kill-you #like-on-TV? BARRY: --Some-of-them.-But-some-of-them-don't. ADAM: --How'd-you-get-back? BARRY: --Poodle. ADAM: You-did-it #and-I'm-glad.-You-saw whatever-you-wanted-to-see. -: You-had-your-'experience.'-Now-you can-pick-out-your-job-and-be-normal. BARRY: --Well... ADAM: --Well? BARRY: Well #I-met-someone. ADAM: You-did?-Was-she-Bee-ish? -: --A-wasp?!-Your-parents-will-kill-you! BARRY: --No #no #no #not-a-wasp. ADAM: --Spider? BARRY: --I'm-not-attracted-to-spiders. -: I-know #for-everyone-else #it's-the-hottest-thing #with-the-eight-legs-and-all. -: I-can't-get-by-that-face. ADAM: So-who-is-she? BARRY: She's...-human. ADAM: No #no.-That's-a-bee-law. You-wouldn't-break-a-bee-law. BARRY: --Her-name's-Vanessa. (Adam-puts-his-head-in-his-hands) ADAM: --Oh #boy. BARRY== She's-so-nice.-And-she's-a-florist! ADAM: Oh #no!-You're-dating-a-human-florist! BARRY: We're-not-dating. ADAM: You're-flying-outside-the-hive #talking to-humans-that-attack-our-homes -: with-power-washers-and-M-80s! That's-one-eighth-a-stick-of-dynamite! BARRY: She-saved-my-life! And-she-understands-me. ADAM: This-is-over! BARRY: Eat-this. (Barry-gives-Adam-a-piece-of-the-crumb-that-he-got-from-Vanessa.-Adam-eats it) ADAM: (Adam's-tone-changes) This-is-not-over!-What-was-that? BARRY: --They-call-it-a-crumb. ADAM: --It-was-so-stingin'-stripey! BARRY: And-that's-not-what-they-eat. That's-what-falls-off-what-they-eat! -: --You-know-what-a-Cinnabon-is? ADAM: --No. (Adam-opens-a-door-behind-him-and-he-pulls-Barry-in) BARRY: It's-bread-and-cinnamon-and-frosting. ADAM: Be-quiet! BARRY: They-heat-it-up... ADAM: Sit-down! (Adam-forces-Barry-to-sit-down) BARRY: (Still-rambling-about-Cinnabons) ...really-hot! (Adam-grabs-Barry-by-the-shoulders) ADAM: --Listen-to-me! -: We-are-not-them!-We're-us. There's-us-and-there's-them! BARRY== Yes #but-who-can-deny the-heart-that-is-yearning? ADAM: There's-no-yearning. Stop-yearning.-Listen-to-me! -: You-have-got-to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend.-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEE: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEES-AND-ADAM: Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-is-laying-on-a-raft-in-a-pool-full-of-honey. He-is-wearing-sunglasses) JANET: There-he-is.-He's-in-the-pool. MARTIN: You-know-what-your-problem-is #Barry? (Barry-pulls-down-his-sunglasses-and-he-looks-annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I-gotta-start-thinking-bee? JANET: How-much-longer-will-this-go-on? MARTIN: It's-been-three-days! Why-aren't-you-working? (Puts-sunglasses-back-on) BARRY: I've-got-a-lot-of-big-life-decisions to-think-about. MARTIN: What-life?-You-have-no-life! You-have-no-job.-You're-barely-a-bee! JANET: Would-it-kill-you to-make-a-little-honey? (Barry-rolls-off-the-raft-and-sinks-into-the-honey-pool) -: Barry #come-out. Your-father's-talking-to-you. -: Martin #would-you-talk-to-him? MARTIN: Barry #I'm-talking-to-you! (Barry-keeps-sinking-into-the-honey-until-he-is-suddenly-in-Central-Park having-a-picnic-with-Vanessa) (Barry-has-a-cup-of-honey-and-he-clinks-his-glass-with-Vanessas.-Suddenly-a mosquito-lands-on-Vanessa-and-she-slaps-it #killing-it.-They-both-gasp-but then-burst-out-laughing) VANESSA: You-coming? (The-camera-pans-over-and-Vanessa-is-climbing-into-a-small-yellow-airplane) BARRY: Got-everything? VANESSA: All-set! BARRY: Go-ahead.-I'll-catch-up. (Vanessa-lifts-off-and-flies-ahead) VANESSA: Don't-be-too-long. (Barry-catches-up-with-Vanessa-and-he-sticks-out-his-arms-like-ana-irplane. He-rolls-from-side-to-side #and-Vanessa-copies-him-with-the-airplane) VANESSA: Watch-this! (Barry-stays-back-and-watches-as-Vanessa-draws-a-heart-in-the-air-using pink-smoke-from-the-plane #but-on-the-last-loop-the-loop-she-suddenly crashes-into-a-mountain-and-the-plane-explodes.-The-destroyed-plane-falls into-some-rocks-and-explodes-a-second-time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As-Barry-is-yelling-his-mouth-fills-with-honey-and-he-wakes-up #discovering-that-he-was-just-day-dreaming.-He-slowly-sinks-back-into-the honey-pool) MARTIN: --We're-still-here. JANET: --I-told-you-not-to-yell-at-him. -: He-doesn't-respond-to-yelling! MARTIN: --Then-why-yell-at-me? JANET: --Because-you-don't-listen! MARTIN: I'm-not-listening-to-this. BARRY: Sorry #I've-gotta-go. MARTIN: --Where-are-you-going? BARRY: --I'm-meeting-a-friend. JANET: A-girl?-Is-this-why-you-can't-decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry-flies-out-the-door-and-Martin-shakes-his-head) -: JANET== I-just-hope-she's-Bee-ish. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-sitting-on-Vanessa's-shoulder-and-she-is closing-up-her-shop) BARRY: They-have-a-huge-parade of-flowers-every-year-in-Pasadena? VANESSA: To-be-in-the-Tournament-of-Roses #that's-every-florist's-dream! -: Up-on-a-float #surrounded by-flowers #crowds-cheering. BARRY: A-tournament.-Do-the-roses compete-in-athletic-events? VANESSA: No.-All-right #I've-got-one. How-come-you-don't-fly-everywhere? BARRY: It's-exhausting.-Why-don't-you run-everywhere?-It's-faster. VANESSA: Yeah #OK #I-see #I-see. All-right #your-turn. BARRY: TiVo.-You-can-just-freeze-live-TV? That's-insane! VANESSA: You-don't-have-that? BARRY: We-have-Hivo #but-it's-a-disease. It's-a-horrible #horrible-disease. VANESSA: Oh #my. (A-human-walks-by-and-Barry-narrowly-avoids-him) PASSERBY: Dumb-bees! VANESSA: You-must-want-to-sting-all-those-jerks. BARRY: We-try-not-to-sting. It's-usually-fatal-for-us. VANESSA: So-you-have-to-watch-your-temper (They-walk-into-a-store) BARRY: Very-carefully. You-kick-a-wall #take-a-walk #: write-an-angry-letter-and-throw-it-out. Work-through-it-like-any-emotion: -: Anger #jealousy #lust. (Suddenly-an-employee(Hector)-hits-Barry-off-of-Vanessa's-shoulder.-Hector thinks-he's-saving-Vanessa) VANESSA: (To-Barry) Oh #my-goodness!-Are-you-OK? (Barry-is-getting-up-off-the-floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To-Hector) --What-is-wrong-with-you?! HECTOR: (Confused) --It's-a-bug. VANESSA: He's-not-bothering-anybody. Get-out-of-here #you-creep! (Vanessa-hits-Hector-across-the-face-with-the-magazine-he-had-and-then-hits him-in-the-head.-Hector-backs-away-covering-his-head) Barry: What-was-that?-A-Pic-'N'-Save-circular? (Vanessa-sets-Barry-back-on-her-shoulder) VANESSA: Yeah #it-was.-How-did-you-know? BARRY: It-felt-like-about-10-pages. Seventy-five-is-pretty-much-our-limit. VANESSA: You've-really-got-that down-to-a-science. BARRY: --Oh #we-have-to.-I-lost-a-cousin-to-Italian-Vogue. VANESSA: --I'll-bet. (Barry-looks-to-his-right-and-notices-there-is-honey-for-sale-in-the-aisle) BARRY: What-in-the-name of-Mighty-Hercules-is-this? (Barry-looks-at-all-the-brands-of-honey #shocked) How-did-this-get-here? Cute-Bee #Golden-Blossom #: Ray-Liotta-Private-Select? (Barry-puts-his-hands-up-and-slowly-turns-around #a-look-of-disgust-on-his face) VANESSA: --Is-he-that-actor? BARRY: --I-never-heard-of-him. -: --Why-is-this-here? VANESSA: --For-people.-We-eat-it. BARRY: You-don't-have enough-food-of-your-own?! (Hector-looks-back-and-notices-that-Vanessa-is-talking-to-Barry) VANESSA: --Well #yes. BARRY: --How-do-you-get-it? VANESSA: --Bees-make-it. BARRY: --I-know-who-makes-it! -: And-it's-hard-to-make-it! -: There's-heating #cooling #stirring. You-need-a-whole-Krelman-thing! VANESSA: --It's-organic. BARRY: --It's-our-ganic! VANESSA: It's-just-honey #Barry. BARRY: Just-what?! -: Bees-don't-know-about-this! This-is-stealing!-A-lot-of-stealing! -: You've-taken-our-homes #schools #hospitals!-This-is-all-we-have! -: And-it's-on-sale?! I'm-getting-to-the-bottom-of-this. -: I'm-getting-to-the-bottom of-all-of-this! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-paints-his-face-with-black-strikes-like-a soldier-and-sneaks-into-the-storage-section-of-the-store) (Two-men #including-Hector #are-loading-boxes-into-some-trucks) -: SUPERMARKET-EMPLOYEE== Hey #Hector. -: --You-almost-done? HECTOR: --Almost. (Barry-takes-a-step-to-peak-around-the-corner) (Whispering) He-is-here.-I-sense-it. -: Well #I-guess-I'll-go-home-now (Hector-pretends-to-walk-away-by-walking-in-place-and-speaking-loudly) -: and-just-leave-this-nice-honey-out #with-no-one-around. BARRY: You're-busted #box-boy! HECTOR: I-knew-I-heard-something! So-you-can-talk! BARRY: I-can-talk. And-now-you'll-start-talking! -: Where-you-getting-the-sweet-stuff? Who's-your-supplier? HECTOR: I-don't-understand. I-thought-we-were-friends. -: The-last-thing-we-want to-do-is-upset-bees! (Hector-takes-a-thumbtack-out-of-the-board-behind-him-and-sword-fights Barry.-Barry-is-using-his-stinger-like-a-sword) -: You're-too-late!-It's-ours-now! BARRY: You #sir #have-crossed the-wrong-sword! HECTOR: You #sir #will-be-lunch for-my-iguana #Ignacio! (Barry-hits-the-thumbtack-out-of-Hectors-hand-and-Hector-surrenders) Barry: Where-is-the-honey-coming-from? -: Tell-me-where! HECTOR: (Pointing-to-leaving-truck) Honey-Farms!-It-comes-from-Honey-Farms! (Barry-chases-after-the-truck-but-it-is-getting-away.-He-flies-onto-a bicyclists'-backpack-and-he-catches-up-to-the-truck) CAR-DRIVER: (To-bicyclist) Crazy-person! (Barry-flies-off-and-lands-on-the-windshield-of-the-Honey-farms-truck. Barry-looks-around-and-sees-dead-bugs-splattered-everywhere) BARRY: What-horrible-thing-has-happened-here? -: These-faces #they-never-knew what-hit-them.-And-now -: they're-on-the-road-to-nowhere! (Barry-hears-a-sudden-whisper) (Barry-looks-up-and-sees-Mooseblood #a-mosquito-playing-dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just-keep-still. BARRY: What?-You're-not-dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do-I-look-dead?-They-will-wipe-anything that-moves.-Where-you-headed? BARRY: To-Honey-Farms. I-am-onto-something-huge-here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm-going-to-Alaska.-Moose-blood #crazy-stuff.-Blows-your-head-off! ANOTHER-BUG-PLAYING-DEAD: I'm-going-to-Tacoma. (Barry-looks-at-another-bug) BARRY: --And-you? MOOSEBLOOD: --He-really-is-dead. BARRY: All-right. (Another-bug-hits-the-windshield-and-the-drivers-notice.-They-activate-the windshield-wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The-windshield-wipers-are-slowly-sliding-over-the-dead-bugs-and-wiping them-off) BARRY: --What-is-that?! MOOSEBLOOD: --Oh #no! -: --A-wiper!-Triple-blade! BARRY: --Triple-blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump-on!-It's-your-only-chance #bee! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-grab-onto-the-wiper-and-they-hold-on-as-it-wipes-the windshield) Why-does-everything-have to-be-so-doggone-clean?! -: How-much-do-you-people-need-to-see?! (Bangs-on-windshield) -: Open-your-eyes! Stick-your-head-out-the-window! RADIO-IN-TRUCK: From-NPR-News-in-Washington #I'm-Carl-Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But-don't-kill-no-more-bugs! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-are-washed-off-by-the-wipr-fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: --Bee! BARRY: --Moose-blood-guy!! (Barry-starts-screaming-as-he-hangs-onto-the-antenna) (Suddenly-it-is-revealed-that-a-water-bug-is-also-hanging-on-the-antenna. There-is-a-pause-and-then-Barry-and-the-water-bug-both-start-screaming) TRUCK-DRIVER: --You-hear-something? GUY-IN-TRUCK: --Like-what? TRUCK-DRIVER: Like-tiny-screaming. GUY-IN-TRUCK: Turn-off-the-radio. (The-antenna-starts-to-lower-until-it-gets-to-low-and-sinks-into-the-truck. The-water-bug-flies-off-and-Barry-is-forced-to-let-go-and-he-is-blown-away. He-luckily-lands-inside-a-horn-on-top-of-the-truck-where-he-finds Mooseblood #who-was-blown-into-the-same-place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup #bee-boy? BARRY: Hey #Blood. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-that-Barry-is-deep-in-conversation-with Mooseblood.-They-have-been-sitting-in-this-truck-for-a-while) BARRY: ...Just-a-row-of-honey-jars #as-far-as-the-eye-could-see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I-assume-wherever-this-truck-goes is-where-they're-getting-it. -: I-mean #that-honey's-ours. MOOSEBLOOD: --Bees-hang-tight. BARRY: --We're-all-jammed-in. -: It's-a-close-community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not-us #man.-We-on-our-own. Every-mosquito-on-his-own. BARRY: --What-if-you-get-in-trouble? MOOSEBLOOD: --You-a-mosquito #you-in-trouble. -: Nobody-likes-us.-They-just-smack. See-a-mosquito #smack #smack! BARRY: At-least-you're-out-in-the-world. You-must-meet-girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito-girls-try-to-trade-up #get-with-a-moth #dragonfly. -: Mosquito-girl-don't-want-no-mosquito. (An-ambulance-passes-by-and-it-has-a-blood-donation-sign-on-it) You-got-to-be-kidding-me! -: Mooseblood's-about-to-leave the-building!-So-long #bee! (Mooseblood-leaves-and-flies-onto-the-window-of-the-ambulance-where-there are-other-mosquito's-hanging-out) -: --Hey #guys! OTHER-MOSQUITO: --Mooseblood! MOOSEBLOOD: I-knew-I'd-catch-y'all-down-here. Did-you-bring-your-crazy-straw? (The-truck-goes-out-of-view-and-Barry-notices-that-the-truck-he's-on-is pulling-into-a-camp-of-some-sort) TRUCK-DRIVER: We-throw-it-in-jars #slap-a-label-on-it #and-it's-pretty-much-pure-profit. (Barry-flies-out) BARRY: What-is-this-place? BEEKEEPER-1#: A-bee's-got-a-brain the-size-of-a-pinhead. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-are-pinheads! -: Pinhead. -: --Check-out-the-new-smoker. BEEKEEPER-#1: --Oh #sweet.-That's-the-one-you-want. -: The-Thomas-3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER-#1: Ninety-puffs-a-minute #semi-automatic. Twice-the-nicotine #all-the-tar. -: A-couple-breaths-of-this knocks-them-right-out. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money. BARRY: 'They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money'? (The-Beekeeper-sprays-hundreds-of-cheap-miniature-apartments-with-the smoker.-The-bees-are-fainting-or-passing-out) Oh #my! -: What's-going-on?-Are-you-OK? (Barry-flies-into-one-of-the-apartment-and-helps-a-Bee-couple-get-off-the ground.-They-are-coughing-and-its-hard-for-them-to-stand) BEE-IN-APARTMENT: Yeah.-It-doesn't-last-too-long. BARRY: Do-you-know-you're in-a-fake-hive-with-fake-walls? BEE-IN-APPARTMENT: Our-queen-was-moved-here. We-had-no-choice. (The-apartment-room-is-completely-empty-except-for-a-photo-on-the-wall-of the-'queen'-who-is-obviously-a-man-in-women's-clothes) BARRY: This-is-your-queen? That's-a-man-in-women's-clothes! -: That's-a-drag-queen! -: What-is-this? (Barry-flies-out-and-he-discovers-that-there-are-hundreds-of-these structures #each-housing-thousands-of-Bees) Oh #no! -: There's-hundreds-of-them! (Barry-takes-out-his-camera-and-takes-pictures-of-these-Bee-work-camps.-The beekeepers-look-very-evil-in-these-depictions) Bee-honey. -: Our-honey-is-being-brazenly-stolen on-a-massive-scale! -: This-is-worse-than-anything-bears have-done!-I-intend-to-do-something. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-showing-these-pictures-to-his-parents) JANET: Oh #Barry #stop. MARTIN: Who-told-you-humans-are-taking our-honey?-That's-a-rumor. BARRY: Do-these-look-like-rumors? (Holds-up-the-pictures) UNCLE-CARL: That's-a-conspiracy-theory. These-are-obviously-doctored-photos. JANET: How-did-you-get-mixed-up-in-this? ADAM: He's-been-talking-to-humans. JANET: --What? MARTIN: --Talking-to-humans?! ADAM: He-has-a-human-girlfriend. And-they-make-out! JANET: Make-out?-Barry! BARRY: We-do-not. ADAM: --You-wish-you-could. MARTIN: --Whose-side-are-you-on? BARRY: The-bees! UNCLE-CARL: (He-has-been-sitting-in-the-back-of-the-room-this-entire-time) I-dated-a-cricket-once-in-San-Antonio. Those-crazy-legs-kept-me-up-all-night. JANET: Barry #this-is-what-you-want to-do-with-your-life? BARRY: I-want-to-do-it-for-all-our-lives. Nobody-works-harder-than-bees! -: Dad #I-remember-you coming-home-so-overworked -: your-hands-were-still-stirring. You-couldn't-stop. JANET: I-remember-that. BARRY: What-right-do-they-have-to-our-honey? -: We-live-on-two-cups-a-year.-They-put-it in-lip-balm-for-no-reason-whatsoever! ADAM: Even-if-it's-true #what-can-one-bee-do? BARRY: Sting-them-where-it-really-hurts. MARTIN: In-the-face!-The-eye! -: --That-would-hurt. BARRY: --No. MARTIN: Up-the-nose?-That's-a-killer. BARRY: There's-only-one-place-you-can-sting the-humans #one-place-where-it-matters. (Flash-forward-a-bit-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-Bee-News) BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: Hive-at-Five #the-hive's-only full-hour-action-news-source. BEE-PROTESTOR: No-more-bee-beards! BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: With-Bob-Bumble-at-the-anchor-desk. -: Weather-with-Storm-Stinger. -: Sports-with-Buzz-Larvi. -: And-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: --Good-evening.-I'm-Bob-Bumble. JEANETTE-CHUNG: --And-I'm-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: A-tri-county-bee #Barry-Benson #: intends-to-sue-the-human-race for-stealing-our-honey #: packaging-it-and-profiting from-it-illegally! JEANETTE-CHUNG: Tomorrow-night-on-Bee-Larry-King #: we'll-have-three-former-queens-here-in our-studio #discussing-their-new-book #: Classy-Ladies #out-this-week-on-Hexagon. (The-scene-changes-to-an-interview-on-the-news-with-Bee-version-of-Larry King-and-Barry) BEE-LARRY-KING: Tonight-we're-talking-to-Barry-Benson. -: Did-you-ever-think #'I'm-a-kid from-the-hive.-I-can't-do-this'? BARRY: Bees-have-never-been-afraid to-change-the-world. -: What-about-Bee-Columbus? Bee-Gandhi?-Bejesus? BEE-LARRY-KING: Where-I'm-from #we'd-never-sue-humans. -: We-were-thinking of-stickball-or-candy-stores. BARRY: How-old-are-you? BEE-LARRY-KING: The-bee-community is-supporting-you-in-this-case #: which-will-be-the-trial of-the-bee-century. BARRY: You-know #they-have-a-Larry-King in-the-human-world-too. BEE-LARRY-KING: It's-a-common-name.-Next-week... BARRY: He-looks-like-you-and-has-a-show and-suspenders-and-colored-dots... BEE-LARRY-KING: Next-week... BARRY: Glasses #quotes-on-the-bottom-from-the guest-even-though-you-just-heard-'em. BEE-LARRY-KING: Bear-Week-next-week! They're-scary #hairy-and-here #live. (Bee-Larry-King-gets-annoyed-and-flies-away-offscreen) BARRY: Always-leans-forward #pointy-shoulders #squinty-eyes #very-Jewish. (Flash-forward-in-time.-We-see-Vanessa-enter-and-Ken-enters-behind-her. They-are-arguing) KEN: In-tennis #you-attack at-the-point-of-weakness! VANESSA: It-was-my-grandmother #Ken.-She's-81. KEN== Honey #her-backhand's-a-joke! I'm-not-gonna-take-advantage-of-that? BARRY: (To-Ken) Quiet #please. Actual-work-going-on-here. KEN: (Pointing-at-Barry) --Is-that-that-same-bee? VANESSA: --Yes #it-is! -: I'm-helping-him-sue-the-human-race. BARRY: --Hello. KEN: --Hello #bee. VANESSA: This-is-Ken. BARRY: (Recalling-the-'Winter-Boots'-incident-earlier) Yeah #I-remember-you.-Timberland #size ten-and-a-half.-Vibram-sole #I-believe. KEN: (To-Vanessa) Why-does-he-talk-again? VANESSA: Listen #you-better-go 'cause-we're-really-busy-working. KEN: But-it's-our-yogurt-night! VANESSA: (Holding-door-open-for-Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why-is-yogurt-night-so-difficult?! (Ken-leaves-and-Vanessa-walks-over-to-Barry.-His-workplace-is-a-mess) VANESSA: You-poor-thing. You-two-have-been-at-this-for-hours! BARRY: Yes #and-Adam-here has-been-a-huge-help. ADAM: --Frosting... --How-many-sugars? -==BARRY== Just-one.-I-try-not to-use-the-competition. -: So-why-are-you-helping-me? VANESSA: Bees-have-good-qualities. -: And-it-takes-my-mind-off-the-shop. -: Instead-of-flowers #people are-giving-balloon-bouquets-now. BARRY: Those-are-great #if-you're-three. VANESSA: And-artificial-flowers. BARRY: --Oh #those-just-get-me-psychotic! VANESSA: --Yeah #me-too. -: BARRY: Bent-stingers #pointless-pollination. ADAM: Bees-must-hate-those-fake-things! -: Nothing-worse than-a-daffodil-that's-had-work-done. -: Maybe-this-could-make-up for-it-a-little-bit. VANESSA: --This-lawsuit's-a-pretty-big-deal. BARRY: --I-guess. ADAM: You-sure-you-want-to-go-through-with-it? BARRY: Am-I-sure?-When-I'm-done-with the-humans #they-won't-be-able -: to-say #'Honey #I'm-home #' without-paying-a-royalty! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-human-news.-The-camera-shows a-crowd-outside-a-courthouse) NEWS-REPORTER: It's-an-incredible-scene here-in-downtown-Manhattan #: where-the-world-anxiously-waits #because-for-the-first-time-in-history #: we-will-hear-for-ourselves if-a-honeybee-can-actually-speak. (We-are-no-longer-watching-through-a-news-camera) ADAM: What-have-we-gotten-into-here #Barry? BARRY: It's-pretty-big #isn't-it? ADAM== (Looking-at-the-hundreds-of-people-around-the-courthouse) I-can't-believe-how-many-humans don't-work-during-the-day. BARRY: You-think-billion-dollar-multinational food-companies-have-good-lawyers? SECURITY-GUARD: Everybody-needs-to-stay behind-the-barricade. (A-limousine-drives-up-and-a-fat-man #Layton-Montgomery #a-honey-industry owner-gets-out-and-walks-past-Barry) ADAM: --What's-the-matter? BARRY: --I-don't-know #I-just-got-a-chill. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-everyone-is-in-the-court) MONTGOMERY: Well #if-it-isn't-the-bee-team. (To-Honey-Industry-lawyers) You-boys-work-on-this? MAN: All-rise!-The-Honorable Judge-Bumbleton-presiding. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: All-right.-Case-number-4475 #: Superior-Court-of-New-York #Barry-Bee-Benson-v.-the-Honey-Industry -: is-now-in-session. -: Mr.-Montgomery #you're-representing the-five-food-companies-collectively? MONTGOMERY: A-privilege. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson...-you're-representing all-the-bees-of-the-world? (Everyone-looks-closely #they-are-waiting-to-see-if-a-Bee-can-really-talk) (Barry-makes-several-buzzing-sounds-to-sound-like-a-Bee) BARRY: I'm-kidding.-Yes #Your-Honor #we're-ready-to-proceed. JUDGE-BUMBLBETON: Mr.-Montgomery #your-opening-statement #please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies-and-gentlemen-of-the-jury #: my-grandmother-was-a-simple-woman. -: Born-on-a-farm #she-believed it-was-man's-divine-right -: to-benefit-from-the-bounty of-nature-God-put-before-us. -: If-we-lived-in-the-topsy-turvy-world Mr.-Benson-imagines #: just-think-of-what-would-it-mean. -: I-would-have-to-negotiate with-the-silkworm -: for-the-elastic-in-my-britches! -: Talking-bee! (Montgomery-walks-over-and-looks-closely-at-Barry) -: How-do-we-know-this-isn't-some-sort-of -: holographic-motion-picture-capture Hollywood-wizardry? -: They-could-be-using-laser-beams! -: Robotics!-Ventriloquism! Cloning!-For-all-we-know #: he-could-be-on-steroids! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson? BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #there's-no-trickery-here. -: I'm-just-an-ordinary-bee. Honey's-pretty-important-to-me. -: It's-important-to-all-bees. We-invented-it! -: We-make-it.-And-we-protect-it with-our-lives. -: Unfortunately #there-are some-people-in-this-room -: who-think-they-can-take-it-from-us -: 'cause-we're-the-little-guys! I'm-hoping-that #after-this-is-all-over #: you'll-see-how #by-taking-our-honey #you-not-only-take-everything-we-have -: but-everything-we-are! JANET== (To-Martin) I-wish-he'd-dress-like-that all-the-time.-So-nice! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Call-your-first-witness. BARRY: So #Mr.-Klauss-Vanderhayden of-Honey-Farms #big-company-you-have. KLAUSS-VANDERHAYDEN: I-suppose-so. BARRY: I-see-you-also-own Honeyburton-and-Honron! KLAUSS: Yes #they-provide-beekeepers for-our-farms. BARRY: Beekeeper.-I-find-that to-be-a-very-disturbing-term. -: I-don't-imagine-you-employ any-bee-free-ers #do-you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) --No. BARRY: --I-couldn't-hear-you. KLAUSS: --No. BARRY: --No. -: Because-you-don't-free-bees. You-keep-bees.-Not-only-that #: it-seems-you-thought-a-bear-would-be an-appropriate-image-for-a-jar-of-honey. KLAUSS: They're-very-lovable-creatures. -: Yogi-Bear #Fozzie-Bear #Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You-mean-like-this? (The-bear-from-Over-The-Hedge-barges-in-through-the-back-door-and-it-is roaring-and-standing-on-its-hind-legs.-It-is-thrashing-its-claws-and-people are-screaming.-It-is-being-held-back-by-a-guard-who-has-the-bear-on-a chain) -: (Pointing-to-the-roaring-bear) Bears-kill-bees! -: How'd-you-like-his-head-crashing through-your-living-room?! -: Biting-into-your-couch! Spitting-out-your-throw-pillows! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: OK #that's-enough.-Take-him-away. (The-bear-stops-roaring-and-thrashing-and-walks-out) BARRY: So #Mr.-Sting #thank-you-for-being-here. Your-name-intrigues-me. -: --Where-have-I-heard-it-before? MR.-STING: --I-was-with-a-band-called-The-Police. BARRY: But-you've-never-been a-police-officer #have-you? STING: No #I-haven't. BARRY: No #you-haven't.-And-so-here we-have-yet-another-example -: of-bee-culture-casually stolen-by-a-human -: for-nothing-more-than a-prance-about-stage-name. STING: Oh #please. BARRY: Have-you-ever-been-stung #Mr.-Sting? -: Because-I'm-feeling a-little-stung #Sting. -: Or-should-I-say...-Mr.-Gordon-M.-Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's-not-his-real-name?!-You-idiots! BARRY: Mr.-Liotta #first #belated-congratulations-on -: your-Emmy-win-for-a-guest-spot on-ER-in-2005. RAY-LIOTTA: Thank-you.-Thank-you. BARRY: I-see-from-your-resume that-you're-devilishly-handsome -: with-a-churning-inner-turmoil that's-ready-to-blow. RAY-LIOTTA: I-enjoy-what-I-do.-Is-that-a-crime? BARRY: Not-yet-it-isn't.-But-is-this what-it's-come-to-for-you? -: Exploiting-tiny #helpless-bees so-you-don't -: have-to-rehearse your-part-and-learn-your-lines #sir? RAY-LIOTTA: Watch-it #Benson! I-could-blow-right-now! BARRY: This-isn't-a-goodfella. This-is-a-badfella! (Ray-Liotta-looses-it-and-tries-to-grab-Barry) RAY-LIOTTA: Why-doesn't-someone-just-step-on this-creep #and-we-can-all-go-home?! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: --Order-in-this-court! RAY-LIOTTA: --You're-all-thinking-it! (Judge-Bumbleton-starts-banging-her-gavel) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Order!-Order #I-say! RAY-LIOTTA: --Say-it! MAN: --Mr.-Liotta #please-sit-down! (We-see-a-montage-of-magazines-which-feature-the-court-case) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-back-home-with-Vanessa) BARRY: I-think-it-was-awfully-nice of-that-bear-to-pitch-in-like-that. VANESSA: I-think-the-jury's-on-our-side. BARRY: Are-we-doing-everything-right #you-know #legally? VANESSA: I'm-a-florist. BARRY: Right.-Well #here's-to-a-great-team. VANESSA: To-a-great-team! (Ken-walks-in-from-work.-He-sees-Barry-and-he-looks-upset-when-he-sees Barry-clinking-his-glass-with-Vanessa) KEN: Well #hello. VANESSA: --Oh #Ken! BARRY: --Hello! VANESSA: I-didn't-think-you-were-coming. -: No #I-was-just-late. I-tried-to-call #but... (Ken-holds-up-his-phone-and-flips-it-open.-The-phone-has-no-charge) ...the-battery... VANESSA: I-didn't-want-all-this-to-go-to-waste #so-I-called-Barry.-Luckily #he-was-free. KEN: Oh #that-was-lucky. (Ken-sits-down-at-the-table-across-from-Barry-and-Vanessa-leaves-the-room) VANESSA: There's-a-little-left. I-could-heat-it-up. KEN: (Not-taking-his-eyes-off-Barry) Yeah #heat-it-up #sure #whatever. BARRY: So-I-hear-you're-quite-a-tennis-player. -: I'm-not-much-for-the-game-myself. The-ball's-a-little-grabby. KEN: That's-where-I-usually-sit. Right... (Points-to-where-Barry-is-sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling-from-other-room) Ken #Barry-was-looking-at-your-resume #: and-he-agreed-with-me-that-eating-with chopsticks-isn't-really-a-special-skill. KEN: (To-Barry) You-think-I-don't-see-what-you're-doing? BARRY: I-know-how-hard-it-is-to-find the-right-job.-We-have-that-in-common. KEN: Do-we? BARRY: Bees-have-100-percent-employment #but-we-do-jobs-like-taking-the-crud-out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's-just-what I-was-thinking-about-doing. (Ken-reaches-for-a-fork-on-the-table-but-knocks-if-on-the-floor.-He-goes-to pick-it-up) VANESSA: Ken #I-let-Barry-borrow-your-razor for-his-fuzz.-I-hope-that-was-all-right. (Ken-quickly-rises-back-up-after-hearing-this-but-hits-his-head-on-the table-and-yells) BARRY: I'm-going-to-drain-the-old-stinger. KEN: Yeah #you-do-that. (Barry-flies-past-Ken-to-get-to-the-bathroom-and-Ken-freaks-out #splashing some-of-the-wine-he-was-using-to-cool-his-head-in-his-eyes.-He-yells-in anger) (Barry-looks-at-the-magazines-featuring-his-victories-in-court) BARRY: Look-at-that. (Barry-flies-into-the-bathroom) (He-puts-his-hand-on-his-head-but-this-makes-hurts-him-and-makes-him-even madder.-He-yells-again) (Barry-is-washing-his-hands-in-the-sink-but-then-Ken-walks-in) KEN: You-know #you-know-I've-just-about-had-it (Closes-bathroom-door-behind-him) with-your-little-mind-games. (Ken-is-menacingly-rolling-up-a-magazine) BARRY: (Backing-away) --What's-that? KEN: --Italian-Vogue. BARRY: Mamma-mia #that's-a-lot-of-pages. KEN: It's-a-lot-of-ads. BARRY: Remember-what-Van-said #why-is your-life-more-valuable-than-mine? KEN: That's-funny #I-just-can't-seem-to-recall-that! (Ken-smashes-everything-off-the-sink-with-the-magazine-and-Barry-narrowly escapes) (Ken-follows-Barry-around-and-tries-to-hit-him-with-the-magazine-but-he keeps-missing) (Ken-gets-a-spray-bottle) -: I-think-something-stinks-in-here! BARRY: (Enjoying-the-spray) I-love-the-smell-of-flowers. (Ken-holds-a-lighter-in-front-of-the-spray-bottle) KEN: How-do-you-like-the-smell-of-flames?! BARRY: Not-as-much. (Ken-fires-his-make-shift-flamethrower-but-misses-Barry #burning-the bathroom.-He-torches-the-whole-room-but-looses-his-footing-and-falls-into the-bathtub.-After-getting-hit-in-the-head-by-falling-objects-3-times-he picks-up-the-shower-head #revealing-a-Water-bug-hiding-under-it) WATER-BUG: Water-bug!-Not-taking-sides! (Barry-gets-up-out-of-a-pile-of-bathroom-supplies-and-he-is-wearing-a chapstick-hat) BARRY: Ken #I'm-wearing-a-Chapstick-hat! This-is-pathetic! (Ken-switches-the-shower-head-to-lethal) KEN: I've-got-issues! (Ken-sprays-Barry-with-the-shower-head-and-he-crash-lands-into-the-toilet) (Ken-menacingly-looks-down-into-the-toilet-at-Barry) Well #well #well #a-royal-flush! BARRY: --You're-bluffing. KEN: --Am-I? (flushes-toilet) (Barry-grabs-a-chapstick-from-the-toilet-seat-and-uses-it-to-surf-in-the flushing-toilet) BARRY: Surf's-up #dude! (Barry-flies-out-of-the-toilet-on-the-chapstick-and-sprays-Ken's-face-with the-toilet-water) -: EW #Poo-water! BARRY: That-bowl-is-gnarly. KEN: (Aiming-a-toilet-cleaner-at-Barry) Except-for-those-dirty-yellow-rings! (Barry-cowers-and-covers-his-head-and-Vanessa-runs-in-and-takes-the-toilet cleaner-from-Ken-just-before-he-hits-Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth!-What-are-you-doing?! KEN== (Leaning-towards-Barry) You-know #I-don't-even-like-honey! I-don't-eat-it! VANESSA: We-need-to-talk! (Vanessa-pulls-Ken-out-of-the-bathroom) -: He's-just-a-little-bee! -: And-he-happens-to-be the-nicest-bee-I've-met-in-a-long-time! KEN: Long-time?-What-are-you-talking-about?! Are-there-other-bugs-in-your-life? VANESSA: No #but-there-are-other-things-bugging me-in-life.-And-you're-one-of-them! KEN: Fine!-Talking-bees #no-yogurt-night... -: My-nerves-are-fried-from-riding on-this-emotional-roller-coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye #Ken. (Ken-huffs-and-walks-out-and-slams-the-door.-But-suddenly-he-walks-back-in and-stares-at-Barry) -: And-for-your-information #I-prefer-sugar-free #artificial sweeteners-MADE-BY-MAN! (Ken-leaves-again-and-Vanessa-leans-in-towards-Barry) VANESSA: I'm-sorry-about-all-that. (Ken-walks-back-in-again) KEN: I-know-it's-got an-aftertaste!-I-LIKE-IT! (Ken-leaves-for-the-last-time) VANESSA: I-always-felt-there-was-some-kind of-barrier-between-Ken-and-me. -: I-couldn't-overcome-it. Oh #well. -: Are-you-OK-for-the-trial? BARRY: I-believe-Mr.-Montgomery is-about-out-of-ideas. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry #Adam #and-Vanessa-are-back-in-court) MONTGOMERY-- We-would-like-to-call Mr.-Barry-Benson-Bee-to-the-stand. ADAM: Good-idea!-You-can-really-see-why-he's considered-one-of-the-best-lawyers... (Barry-stares-at-Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton #you've gotta-weave-some-magic with-this-jury #or-it's-gonna-be-all-over. MONTGOMERY: Don't-worry.-The-only-thing-I-have to-do-to-turn-this-jury-around -: is-to-remind-them of-what-they-don't-like-about-bees. (To-lawyer) --You-got-the-tweezers? LAWYER: --Are-you-allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only-to-losing #son.-Only-to-losing. -: Mr.-Benson-Bee #I'll-ask-you what-I-think-we'd-all-like-to-know. -: What-exactly-is-your-relationship (Points-to-Vanessa) -: to-that-woman? BARRY: We're-friends. MONTGOMERY: --Good-friends? BARRY: --Yes. MONTGOMERY: How-good?-Do-you-live-together? ADAM: Wait-a-minute... -: MONTGOMERY: Are-you-her-little... -: ...bedbug? (Adam's-stinger-starts-vibrating.-He-is-agitated) I've-seen-a-bee-documentary-or-two. From-what-I-understand #: doesn't-your-queen-give-birth to-all-the-bee-children? BARRY: --Yeah #but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing-at-Janet-and-Martin) --So-those-aren't-your-real-parents! JANET: --Oh #Barry... BARRY: --Yes #they-are! ADAM: Hold-me-back! (Vanessa-tries-to-hold-Adam-back.-He-wants-to-sting-Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're-an-illegitimate-bee #aren't-you #Benson? ADAM: He's-denouncing-bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't-y'all-date-your-cousins? (Montgomery-leans-over-on-the-jury-stand-and-stares-at-Adam) VANESSA: --Objection! (Vanessa-raises-her-hand-to-object-but-Adam-gets-free.-He-flies-straight-at Montgomery) =ADAM: --I'm-going-to-pincushion-this-guy! BARRY: Adam #don't!-It's-what-he-wants! (Adam-stings-Montgomery-in-the-butt-and-he-starts-thrashing-around) MONTGOMERY: Oh #I'm-hit!! -: Oh #lordy #I-am-hit! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: (Banging-gavel) Order!-Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The-venom!-The-venom is-coursing-through-my-veins! -: I-have-been-felled by-a-winged-beast-of-destruction! -: You-see?-You-can't-treat-them like-equals!-They're-striped-savages! -: Stinging's-the-only-thing they-know!-It's-their-way! BARRY: --Adam #stay-with-me. ADAM: --I-can't-feel-my-legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting-and-throwing-his-body-around-the-room) What-angel-of-mercy will-come-forward-to-suck-the-poison -: from-my-heaving-buttocks? JUDGE-BUMLBETON: I-will-have-order-in-this-court.-Order! -: Order #please! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-see-a-human-news-reporter) NEWS-REPORTER: The-case-of-the-honeybees versus-the-human-race -: took-a-pointed-turn-against-the-bees -: yesterday-when-one-of-their-legal team-stung-Layton-T.-Montgomery. (Adam-is-laying-in-a-hospital-bed-and-Barry-flies-in-to-see-him) BARRY: --Hey #buddy. ADAM: --Hey. BARRY: --Is-there-much-pain? ADAM: --Yeah. -: I... -: I-blew-the-whole-case #didn't-I? BARRY: It-doesn't-matter.-What-matters-is you're-alive.-You-could-have-died. ADAM: I'd-be-better-off-dead.-Look-at-me. (A-small-plastic-sword-is-replaced-as-Adam's-stinger) They-got-it-from-the-cafeteria downstairs #in-a-tuna-sandwich. -: Look #there's a-little-celery-still-on-it. (Flicks-off-the-celery-and-sighs) BARRY: What-was-it-like-to-sting-someone? ADAM: I-can't-explain-it.-It-was-all... -: All-adrenaline-and-then... and-then-ecstasy! BARRY: ...All-right. ADAM: You-think-it-was-all-a-trap? BARRY: Of-course.-I'm-sorry. I-flew-us-right-into-this. -: What-were-we-thinking?-Look-at-us.-We're just-a-couple-of-bugs-in-this-world. ADAM: What-will-the-humans-do-to-us if-they-win? BARRY: I-don't-know. ADAM: I-hear-they-put-the-roaches-in-motels. That-doesn't-sound-so-bad. BARRY: Adam #they-check-in #but-they-don't-check-out! ADAM: Oh #my. (Coughs) Could-you-get-a-nurse to-close-that-window? BARRY: --Why? ADAM: --The-smoke. (We-can-see-that-two-humans-are-smoking-cigarettes-outside) -: Bees-don't-smoke. BARRY: Right.-Bees-don't-smoke. -: Bees-don't-smoke! But-some-bees-are-smoking. -: That's-it!-That's-our-case! ADAM: It-is?-It's-not-over? BARRY: Get-dressed.-I've-gotta-go-somewhere. -: Get-back-to-the-court-and-stall. Stall-any-way-you-can. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Adam-is-making-a-paper-boat-in-the-courtroom) ADAM: And-assuming-you've-done-step-29-correctly #you're-ready-for-the-tub! (We-see-that-the-jury-have-each-made-their-own-paper-boats-after-being taught-how-by-Adam.-They-all-look-confused) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman. ADAM: Yes?-Yes #Your-Honor! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Where-is-the-rest-of-your-team? ADAM: (Continues-stalling) Well #Your-Honor #it's-interesting. -: Bees-are-trained-to-fly-haphazardly #: and-as-a-result #we-don't-make-very-good-time. -: I-actually-heard-a-funny-story-about... MONTGOMERY: Your-Honor #haven't-these-ridiculous-bugs -: taken-up-enough of-this-court's-valuable-time? -: How-much-longer-will-we-allow these-absurd-shenanigans-to-go-on? -: They-have-presented-no-compelling evidence-to-support-their-charges -: against-my-clients #who-run-legitimate-businesses. -: I-move-for-a-complete-dismissal of-this-entire-case! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman #I'm-afraid-I'm-going -: to-have-to-consider Mr.-Montgomery's-motion. ADAM: But-you-can't!-We-have-a-terrific-case. MONTGOMERY: Where-is-your-proof? Where-is-the-evidence? -: Show-me-the-smoking-gun! BARRY: (Barry-flies-in-through-the-door) Hold-it #Your-Honor! You-want-a-smoking-gun? -: Here-is-your-smoking-gun. (Vanessa-walks-in-holding-a-bee-smoker.-She-sets-it-down-on-the-Judge's podium) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: What-is-that? BARRY: It's-a-bee-smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks-up-smoker) What #this? This-harmless-little-contraption? -: This-couldn't-hurt-a-fly #let-alone-a-bee. (Montgomery-accidentally-fires-it-at-the-bees-in-the-crowd-and-they-faint and-cough) (Dozens-of-reporters-start-taking-pictures-of-the-suffering-bees) BARRY: Look-at-what-has-happened -: to-bees-who-have-never-been-asked #'Smoking-or-non?' -: Is-this-what-nature-intended-for-us? -: To-be-forcibly-addicted to-smoke-machines -: and-man-made-wooden-slat-work-camps? -: Living-out-our-lives-as-honey-slaves to-the-white-man? (Barry-points-to-the-honey-industry-owners.-One-of-them-is-an-African American-so-he-awkwardly-separates-himself-from-the-others) LAWYER: --What-are-we-gonna-do? --He's-playing-the-species-card. BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #please #free-these-bees! ADAM-AND-VANESSA: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! BEES-IN-CROWD: Free-the-bees! HUMAN-JURY: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: The-court-finds-in-favor-of-the-bees! BARRY: Vanessa #we-won! VANESSA: I-knew-you-could-do-it!-High-five! (Vanessa-hits-Barry-hard-because-her-hand-is-too-big) -: Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm-OK!-You-know-what-this-means? -: All-the-honey will-finally-belong-to-the-bees. -: Now-we-won't-have to-work-so-hard-all-the-time. MONTGOMERY: This-is-an-unholy-perversion of-the-balance-of-nature #Benson. -: You'll-regret-this. (Montgomery-leaves-and-Barry-goes-outside-the-courtroom.-Several-reporters start-asking-Barry-questions) REPORTER-1#: Barry #how-much-honey-is-out-there? BARRY: All-right.-One-at-a-time. REPORTER-2#: Barry #who-are-you-wearing? BARRY: My-sweater-is-Ralph-Lauren #and-I-have-no-pants. (Barry-flies-outside-with-the-paparazzi-and-Adam-and-Vanessa-stay-back) ADAM: (To-Vanessa) --What-if-Montgomery's-right? Vanessa: --What-do-you-mean? ADAM: We've-been-living-the-bee-way a-long-time #27-million-years. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-a-man) BUSINESS-MAN: Congratulations-on-your-victory. What-will-you-demand-as-a-settlement? BARRY: First #we'll-demand-a-complete-shutdown of-all-bee-work-camps. (As-Barry-is-talking-we-see-a-montage-of-men-putting-'closed'-tape-over-the work-camps-and-freeing-the-bees-in-the-crappy-apartments) Then-we-want-back-the-honey that-was-ours-to-begin-with #: every-last-drop. (Men-in-suits-are-pushing-all-the-honey-of-the-aisle-and-into-carts) We-demand-an-end-to-the-glorification of-the-bear-as-anything-more (We-see-a-statue-of-a-bear-shaped-honey-container-being-pulled-down-by bees) than-a-filthy #smelly #bad-breath-stink-machine. -: We're-all-aware of-what-they-do-in-the-woods. (We-see-Winnie-the-Pooh-sharing-his-honey-with-Piglet-in-the-cross-hairs-of a-high-tech-sniper-rifle) BARRY: (Looking-through-binoculars) Wait-for-my-signal. -: Take-him-out. (Winnie-gets-hit-by-a-tranquilizer-dart-and-dramatically-falls-off-the-log he-was-standing-on #his-tongue-hanging-out.-Piglet-looks-at-Pooh-in-fear and-the-Sniper-takes-the-honey.) SNIPER: He'll-have-nausea for-a-few-hours #then-he'll-be-fine. (Flash-forward-in-time) BARRY: And-we-will-no-longer-tolerate bee-negative-nicknames... (Mr.-Sting-is-sitting-at-home-until-he-is-taken-out-of-his-house-by-the-men in-suits) STING: But-it's-just-a-prance-about-stage-name! BARRY: ...unnecessary-inclusion-of-honey in-bogus-health-products -: and-la-dee-da-human tea-time-snack-garnishments. (An-old-lady-is-mixing-honey-into-her-tea-but-suddenly-men-in-suits-smash her-face-down-on-the-table-and-take-the-honey) OLD-LADY: Can't-breathe. (A-honey-truck-pulls-up-to-Barry's-hive) WORKER: Bring-it-in #boys! -: Hold-it-right-there!-Good. -: Tap-it. (Tons-of-honey-is-being-pumped-into-the-hive's-storage) BEE-WORKER-1#: (Honey-overflows-from-the-cup) Mr.-Buzzwell #we-just-passed-three-cups #and-there's-gallons-more-coming! -: --I-think-we-need-to-shut-down! =BEE-WORKER-#2= --Shut-down?-We've-never-shut-down. -: Shut-down-honey-production! DEAN-BUZZWELL: Stop-making-honey! (The-bees-all-leave-their-stations.-Two-bees-run-into-a-room-and-they-put the-keys-into-a-machine) Turn-your-key #sir! (Two-worker-bees-dramatically-turn-their-keys #which-opens-the-button-which they-press #shutting-down-the-honey-making-machines.-This-is-the-first-time this-has-ever-happened) BEE: ...What-do-we-do-now? (Flash-forward-in-time-and-a-Bee-is-about-to-jump-into-a-pool-full-of honey) Cannonball! (The-bee-gets-stuck-in-the-honey-and-we-get-a-short-montage-of-Bees-leaving work) (We-see-the-Pollen-Jocks-flying-but-one-of-them-gets-a-call-on-his-antenna) LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') We're-shutting-honey-production! -: Mission-abort. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Aborting-pollination-and-nectar-detail. Returning-to-base. (The-Pollen-Jocks-fly-back-to-the-hive) (We-get-a-time-lapse-of-Central-Park-slowly-wilting-away-as-the-bees-all relax) BARRY: Adam #you-wouldn't-believe how-much-honey-was-out-there. ADAM: Oh #yeah? BARRY: What's-going-on?-Where-is-everybody? (The-entire-street-is-deserted) -: --Are-they-out-celebrating? ADAM: --They're-home. -: They-don't-know-what-to-do. Laying-out #sleeping-in. -: I-heard-your-Uncle-Carl-was-on-his-way to-San-Antonio-with-a-cricket. BARRY: At-least-we-got-our-honey-back. ADAM: Sometimes-I-think #so-what-if-humans liked-our-honey?-Who-wouldn't? -: It's-the-greatest-thing-in-the-world! I-was-excited-to-be-part-of-making-it. -: This-was-my-new-desk.-This-was-my new-job.-I-wanted-to-do-it-really-well. -: And-now... -: Now-I-can't. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-Vanessa) BARRY: I-don't-understand why-they're-not-happy. -: I-thought-their-lives-would-be-better! -: They're-doing-nothing.-It's-amazing. Honey-really-changes-people. VANESSA: You-don't-have-any-idea what's-going-on #do-you? BARRY: --What-did-you-want-to-show-me? (Vanessa-takes-Barry-to-the-rooftop-where-they-first-had-coffee-and-points to-her-store) VANESSA: --This. (Points-at-her-flowers.-They-are-all-grey-and-wilting) BARRY: What-happened-here? VANESSA: That-is-not-the-half-of-it. (Small-flash-forward-in-time-and-Vanessa-and-Barry-are-on-the-roof-of-her store-and-she-points-to-Central-Park) (We-see-that-Central-Park-is-no-longer-green-and-colorful #rather-it-is grey #brown #and-dead-like.-It-is-very-depressing-to-look-at) BARRY: Oh #no.-Oh #my. -: They're-all-wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't-look-very-good #does-it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And-whose-fault-do-you-think-that-is? BARRY: You-know #I'm-gonna-guess-bees. VANESSA== (Staring-at-Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically #me. -: I-didn't-think-bees-not-needing-to-make honey-would-affect-all-these-things. VANESSA: It's-not-just-flowers. Fruits #vegetables #they-all-need-bees. BARRY: That's-our-whole-SAT-test-right-there. VANESSA: Take-away-produce #that-affects the-entire-animal-kingdom. -: And-then #of-course... BARRY: The-human-species? -: So-if-there's-no-more-pollination #: it-could-all-just-go-south-here #couldn't-it? VANESSA: I-know-this-is-also-partly-my-fault. BARRY: How-about-a-suicide-pact? VANESSA: How-do-we-do-it? BARRY: --I'll-sting-you #you-step-on-me. VANESSA: --That-just-kills-you-twice. BARRY: Right #right. VANESSA: Listen #Barry... sorry #but-I-gotta-get-going. (Vanessa-leaves) BARRY: (To-himself) I-had-to-open-my-mouth-and-talk. -: Vanessa? -: Vanessa?-Why-are-you-leaving? Where-are-you-going? (Vanessa-is-getting-into-a-taxi) VANESSA: To-the-final-Tournament-of-Roses-parade in-Pasadena. -: They've-moved-it-to-this-weekend because-all-the-flowers-are-dying. -: It's-the-last-chance I'll-ever-have-to-see-it. BARRY: Vanessa #I-just-wanna-say-I'm-sorry. I-never-meant-it-to-turn-out-like-this. VANESSA: I-know.-Me-neither. (The-taxi-starts-to-drive-away) BARRY: Tournament-of-Roses. Roses-can't-do-sports. -: Wait-a-minute.-Roses.-Roses? -: Roses! -: Vanessa! (Barry-flies-after-the-Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! -: Barry? (Barry-is-flying-outside-the-window-of-the-taxi) BARRY: --Roses-are-flowers! VANESSA: --Yes #they-are. BARRY: Flowers #bees #pollen! VANESSA: I-know. That's-why-this-is-the-last-parade. BARRY: Maybe-not. Could-you-ask-him-to-slow-down? VANESSA: Could-you-slow-down? (The-taxi-driver-screeches-to-a-stop-and-Barry-keeps-flying-forward) -: Barry! (Barry-flies-back-to-the-window) BARRY: OK #I-made-a-huge-mistake. This-is-a-total-disaster #all-my-fault. VANESSA: Yes #it-kind-of-is. BARRY: I've-ruined-the-planet. I-wanted-to-help-you -: with-the-flower-shop. I've-made-it-worse. VANESSA: Actually #it's-completely-closed-down. BARRY: I-thought-maybe-you-were-remodeling. -: But-I-have-another-idea #and-it's greater-than-my-previous-ideas-combined. VANESSA: I-don't-want-to-hear-it! BARRY: All-right #they-have-the-roses #the-roses-have-the-pollen. -: I-know-every-bee #plant and-flower-bud-in-this-park. -: All-we-gotta-do-is-get-what-they've-got back-here-with-what-we've-got. -: --Bees. VANESSA: --Park. BARRY: --Pollen! VANESSA: --Flowers. BARRY: --Re-pollination! VANESSA: --Across-the-nation! -: Tournament-of-Roses #Pasadena #California. -: They've-got-nothing but-flowers #floats-and-cotton-candy. -: Security-will-be-tight. BARRY: I-have-an-idea. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Vanessa-is-about-to-board-a-plane-which-has-all-the Roses-on-board. VANESSA: Vanessa-Bloome #FTD. (Holds-out-badge) -: Official-floral-business.-It's-real. SECURITY-GUARD: Sorry #ma'am.-Nice-brooch. =VANESSA== Thank-you.-It-was-a-gift. (Barry-is-revealed-to-be-hiding-inside-the-brooch) (Flash-back-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-discussing-their-plan) BARRY: Once-inside #we-just-pick-the-right-float. VANESSA: How-about-The-Princess-and-the-Pea? -: I-could-be-the-princess #and-you-could-be-the-pea! BARRY: Yes #I-got-it. -: --Where-should-I-sit? GUARD: --What-are-you? BARRY: --I-believe-I'm-the-pea. GUARD: --The-pea? VANESSA: It-goes-under-the-mattresses. GUARD: --Not-in-this-fairy-tale #sweetheart. --I'm-getting-the-marshal. VANESSA: You-do-that! This-whole-parade-is-a-fiasco! -: Let's-see-what-this-baby'll-do. (Vanessa-drives-the-float-through-traffic) GUARD: Hey #what-are-you-doing?! BARRY== Then-all-we-do is-blend-in-with-traffic... -: ...without-arousing-suspicion. -: Once-at-the-airport #there's-no-stopping-us. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-about-to-get-on-a-plane) SECURITY-GUARD: Stop!-Security. -: --You-and-your-insect-pack-your-float? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Has-it-been in-your-possession-the-entire-time? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Would-you-remove-your-shoes? (To-Barry) --Remove-your-stinger. BARRY: --It's-part-of-me. SECURITY-GUARD: I-know.-Just-having-some-fun. Enjoy-your-flight. (Barry-plotting-with-Vanessa) BARRY: Then-if-we're-lucky #we'll-have just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-flying-on-the-plane) Can-you-believe-how-lucky-we-are?-We have-just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job! VANESSA: I-think-this-is-gonna-work. BARRY: It's-got-to-work. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: (On-intercom) Attention #passengers #this-is-Captain-Scott. -: We-have-a-bit-of-bad-weather in-New-York. -: It-looks-like-we'll-experience a-couple-hours-delay. VANESSA: Barry #these-are-cut-flowers with-no-water.-They'll-never-make-it. BARRY: I-gotta-get-up-there and-talk-to-them. VANESSA== Be-careful. (Barry-flies-right-outside-the-cockpit-door) BARRY: Can-I-get-help with-the-Sky-Mall-magazine? I'd-like-to-order-the-talking inflatable-nose-and-ear-hair-trimmer. (The-flight-attendant-opens-the-door-and-walks-out-and-Barry-flies-into-the cockpit-unseen) BARRY: Captain #I'm-in-a-real-situation. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: --What'd-you-say #Hal? CO-PILOT-HAL: --Nothing. (Scott-notices-Barry-and-freaks-out) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No #no #no #Don't-freak-out!-My-entire-species... (Captain-Scott-gets-out-of-his-seat-and-tries-to-suck-Barry-into-a-handheld vacuum) HAL: (To-Scott) What-are-you-doing? (Barry-lands-on-Hals-hair-but-Scott-sees-him.-He-tries-to-suck-up-Barry-but instead-he-sucks-up-Hals-toupee) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: --Wait-a-minute!-I'm-an-attorney! HAL: (Hal-doesn't-know-Barry-is-on-his-head) --Who's-an-attorney? CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Don't-move. (Scott-hits-Hal-in-the-face-with-the-vacuum-in-an-attempt-to-hit-Barry.-Hal is-knocked-out-and-he-falls-on-the-life-raft-button-which-launches-an infalatable-boat-into-Scott #who-gets-knocked-out-and-falls-to-the-floor. They-are-both-uncounscious.) BARRY: (To-himself) Oh #Barry. BARRY: (On-intercom #with-a-Southern-accent) Good-afternoon #passengers. This-is-your-captain. -: Would-a-Miss-Vanessa-Bloome-in-24B please-report-to-the-cockpit? (Vanessa-looks-confused) (Normal-accent) ...And-please-hurry! (Vanessa-opens-the-door-and-sees-the-life-raft-and-the-uncounscious-pilots) VANESSA: What-happened-here? BARRY: I-tried-to-talk-to-them #but then-there-was-a-DustBuster #a-toupee #a-life-raft-exploded. -: Now-one's-bald #one's-in-a-boat #and-they're-both-unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is-that-another-bee-joke? BARRY: --No! -: No-one's-flying-the-plane! BUD-DITCHWATER: (Through-radio-on-plane) This-is-JFK-control-tower #Flight-356. What's-your-status? VANESSA: This-is-Vanessa-Bloome. I'm-a-florist-from-New-York. BUD: Where's-the-pilot? VANESSA: He's-unconscious #and-so-is-the-copilot. BUD: Not-good.-Does-anyone-onboard have-flight-experience? BARRY: As-a-matter-of-fact #there-is. BUD: --Who's-that? BARRY: --Barry-Benson. BUD: From-the-honey-trial?!-Oh #great. BARRY: Vanessa #this-is-nothing-more than-a-big-metal-bee. -: It's-got-giant-wings #huge-engines. VANESSA: I-can't-fly-a-plane. BARRY: --Why-not?-Isn't-John-Travolta-a-pilot? VANESSA: --Yes. BARRY: How-hard-could-it-be? (Vanessa-sits-down-and-flies-for-a-little-bit-but-we-see-lightning-clouds outside-the-window) VANESSA: Wait #Barry! We're-headed-into-some-lightning. (An-ominous-lightning-storm-looms-in-front-of-the-plane) (We-are-now-watching-the-Bee-News) BOB-BUMBLE: This-is-Bob-Bumble.-We-have-some late-breaking-news-from-JFK-Airport #: where-a-suspenseful-scene is-developing. -: Barry-Benson #fresh-from-his-legal-victory... ADAM: That's-Barry! BOB-BUMBLE: ...is-attempting-to-land-a-plane #loaded-with-people #flowers -: and-an-incapacitated-flight-crew. JANET #MARTIN #UNCLE-CAR-AND-ADAM: Flowers?! (The-scene-switches-to-the-human-news) REPORTER: (Talking-with-Bob-Bumble) We-have-a-storm-in-the-area and-two-individuals-at-the-controls -: with-absolutely-no-flight-experience. BOB-BUMBLE: Just-a-minute. There's-a-bee-on-that-plane. BUD: I'm-quite-familiar-with-Mr.-Benson and-his-no-account-compadres. -: They've-done-enough-damage. REPORTER: But-isn't-he-your-only-hope? BUD: Technically #a-bee shouldn't-be-able-to-fly-at-all. -: Their-wings-are-too-small... BARRY: (Through-radio) Haven't-we-heard-this-a-million-times? -: 'The-surface-area-of-the-wings and-body-mass-make-no-sense.'... BOB-BUMBLE: --Get-this-on-the-air! BEE: --Got-it. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --Stand-by. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --We're-going-live! BARRY: (Through-radio-on-TV) ...The-way-we-work-may-be-a-mystery-to-you. -: Making-honey-takes-a-lot-of-bees doing-a-lot-of-small-jobs. -: But-let-me-tell-you-about-a-small-job. -: If-you-do-it-well #it-makes-a-big-difference. -: More-than-we-realized. To-us #to-everyone. -: That's-why-I-want-to-get-bees back-to-working-together. -: That's-the-bee-way! We're-not-made-of-Jell-O. -: We-get-behind-a-fellow. -: --Black-and-yellow! BEES: --Hello! (The-scene-switches-and-Barry-is-teaching-Vanessa-how-to-fly) BARRY: Left #right #down #hover. VANESSA: --Hover? BARRY: --Forget-hover. VANESSA: This-isn't-so-hard. (Pretending-to-honk-the-horn) Beep-beep!-Beep-beep! (A-Lightning-bolt-hits-the-plane-and-autopilot-turns-off) Barry #what-happened?! BARRY: Wait #I-think-we-were on-autopilot-the-whole-time. VANESSA: --That-may-have-been-helping-me. BARRY: --And-now-we're-not! VANESSA: So-it-turns-out-I-cannot-fly-a-plane. (The-plane-plummets-but-we-see-Lou-Lu-Duva-and-the-Pollen-Jocks #along-with multiple-other-bees-flying-towards-the-plane) Lou-Lu-DUva: All-of-you #let's-get behind-this-fellow!-Move-it-out! -: Move-out! (The-scene-switches-back-to-Vanessa-and-Barry-in-the-plane) BARRY: Our-only-chance-is-if-I-do-what-I'd-do #you-copy-me-with-the-wings-of-the-plane! (Barry-sticks-out-his-arms-like-an-airplane-and-flys-in-front-of-Vanessa's face) VANESSA: Don't-have-to-yell. BARRY: I'm-not-yelling! We're-in-a-lot-of-trouble. VANESSA: It's-very-hard-to-concentrate with-that-panicky-tone-in-your-voice! BARRY: It's-not-a-tone.-I'm-panicking! VANESSA: I-can't-do-this! (Barry-slaps-Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa #pull-yourself-together. You-have-to-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: (Slaps-Barry) You-snap-out-of-it. BARRY: (Slaps-Vanessa) -: You-snap-out-of-it. VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! (We-see-that-all-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-under-the-plane) VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --Hold-it! BARRY: --Why?-Come-on #it's-my-turn. VANESSA: How-is-the-plane-flying? (The-plane-is-now-safely-flying) VANESSA: I-don't-know. (Barry's-antennae-rings-like-a-phone.-Barry-picks-up) BARRY: Hello? LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') Benson #got-any-flowers for-a-happy-occasion-in-there? (All-of-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-carrying-the-plane) BARRY: The-Pollen-Jocks! -: They-do-get-behind-a-fellow. LOU-LU-DUVA: --Black-and-yellow. POLLEN-JOCKS: --Hello. LOU-LU-DUVA: All-right #let's-drop-this-tin-can on-the-blacktop. BARRY: Where?-I-can't-see-anything.-Can-you? VANESSA: No #nothing.-It's-all-cloudy. -: Come-on.-You-got-to-think-bee #Barry. BARRY: --Thinking-bee. --Thinking-bee. (On-the-runway-there-are-millions-of-bees-laying-on-their-backs) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: Wait-a-minute. I-think-I'm-feeling-something. VANESSA: --What? BARRY: --I-don't-know.-It's-strong #pulling-me. -: Like-a-27-million-year-old-instinct. -: Bring-the-nose-down. BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! CONTROL-TOWER-OPERATOR: --What-in-the-world-is-on-the-tarmac? BUD: --Get-some-lights-on-that! (It-is-revealed-that-all-the-bees-are-organized-into-a-giant-pulsating flower-formation) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Vanessa #aim-for-the-flower. VANESSA: --OK. BARRY: Out-the-engines.-We're-going-in on-bee-power.-Ready #boys? LOU-LU-DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good.-Good.-Easy #now.-That's-it. -: Land-on-that-flower! -: Ready?-Full-reverse! -: Spin-it-around! (The-plane's-nose-is-pointed-at-a-flower-painted-on-a-nearby-plane) --Not-that-flower!-The-other-one! VANESSA: --Which-one? BARRY: --That-flower. (The-plane-is-now-pointed-at-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt.-He-freaks-out and-tries-to-take-a-picture-of-the-plane) VANESSA: --I'm-aiming-at-the-flower! BARRY: That's-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt. I-mean-the-giant-pulsating-flower made-of-millions-of-bees! (The-plane-hovers-over-the-bee-flower) -: Pull-forward.-Nose-down.-Tail-up. -: Rotate-around-it. VANESSA: --This-is-insane #Barry! BARRY: --This's-the-only-way-I-know-how-to-fly. BUD: Am-I-koo-koo-kachoo #or-is-this-plane flying-in-an-insect-like-pattern? (The-plane-is-unrealistically-hovering-and-spinning-over-the-bee-flower) BARRY: Get-your-nose-in-there.-Don't-be-afraid. Smell-it.-Full-reverse! -: Just-drop-it.-Be-a-part-of-it. -: Aim-for-the-center! -: Now-drop-it-in!-Drop-it-in #woman! -: Come-on #already. (The-bees-scatter-and-the-plane-safely-lands) VANESSA: Barry #we-did-it! You-taught-me-how-to-fly! BARRY: --Yes! (Vanessa-is-about-to-high-five-Barry) No-high-five! VANESSA: --Right. ADAM: Barry #it-worked! Did-you-see-the-giant-flower? BARRY: What-giant-flower?-Where?-Of-course I-saw-the-flower!-That-was-genius! ADAM: --Thank-you. BARRY: --But-we're-not-done-yet. -: Listen #everyone! -: This-runway-is-covered with-the-last-pollen -: from-the-last-flowers available-anywhere-on-Earth. -: That-means-this-is-our-last-chance. -: We're-the-only-ones-who-make-honey #pollinate-flowers-and-dress-like-this. -: If-we're-gonna-survive-as-a-species #this-is-our-moment!-What-do-you-say? -: Are-we-going-to-be-bees #or-just Museum-of-Natural-History-keychains? BEES: We're-bees! BEE-WHO-LIKES-KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then-follow-me!-Except-Keychain. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Hold-on #Barry.-Here. -: You've-earned-this. BARRY: Yeah! -: I'm-a-Pollen-Jock!-And-it's-a-perfect fit.-All-I-gotta-do-are-the-sleeves. (The-Pollen-Jocks-throw-Barry-a-nectar-collecting-gun.-Barry-catches-it) Oh #yeah. JANET: That's-our-Barry. (Barry-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-get-pollen-from-the-flowers-on-the-plane) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-over-NYC) -: (Barry-pollinates-the-flowers-in-Vanessa's-shop-and-then-heads-to-Central Park) BOY-IN-PARK: Mom!-The-bees-are-back! ADAM: (Putting-on-his-Krelman-hat) If-anybody-needs to-make-a-call #now's-the-time. -: I-got-a-feeling-we'll-be working-late-tonight! (The-bee-honey-factories-are-back-up-and-running) (Meanwhile-at-Vanessa's-shop) VANESSA: (To-customer) Here's-your-change.-Have-a-great afternoon!-Can-I-help-who's-next? -: Would-you-like-some-honey-with-that? It-is-bee-approved.-Don't-forget-these. (There-is-a-room-in-the-shop-where-Barry-does-legal-work-for-other-animals. He-is-currently-talking-with-a-Cow) COW: Milk #cream #cheese #it's-all-me. And-I-don't-see-a-nickel! -: Sometimes-I-just-feel like-a-piece-of-meat! BARRY: I-had-no-idea. VANESSA: Barry #I'm-sorry. Have-you-got-a-moment? BARRY: Would-you-excuse-me? My-mosquito-associate-will-help-you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry-I'm-late. COW: He's-a-lawyer-too? MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am #I-was-already-a-blood-sucking-parasite. All-I-needed-was-a-briefcase. VANESSA: Have-a-great-afternoon! -: Barry #I-just-got-this-huge-tulip-order #and-I-can't-get-them-anywhere. BARRY: No-problem #Vannie. Just-leave-it-to-me. VANESSA: You're-a-lifesaver #Barry. Can-I-help-who's-next? BARRY: All-right #scramble #jocks! It's-time-to-fly. VANESSA: Thank-you #Barry! (Ken-walks-by-on-the-sidewalk-and-sees-the-'bee-approved-honey'-in Vanessa's-shop) KEN: That-bee-is-living-my-life!! ANDY: Let-it-go #Kenny. KEN: --When-will-this-nightmare-end?! ANDY: --Let-it-all-go. BARRY: --Beautiful-day-to-fly. POLLEN-JOCK: --Sure-is. BARRY: Between-you-and-me #I-was-dying-to-get-out-of-that-office. (Barry-recreates-the-scene-near-the-beginning-of-the-movie-where-he-flies through-the-box-kite.-The-movie-fades-to-black-and-the-credits-being) [--after-credits;-No-scene-can-be-seen-but-the-characters-can-be-heard talking-over-the-credits--] You-have-got to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend! -: --Thinking-bee! --Me? BARRY: (Talking-over-singer) Hold-it.-Let's-just-stop for-a-second.-Hold-it. -: I'm-sorry.-I'm-sorry #everyone. Can-we-stop-here? SINGER: Oh #BarryBARRY: I'm-not-making-a-major-life-decision during-a-production-number! SINGER: All-right.-Take-ten #everybody. Wrap-it-up #guys. BARRY: I-had-virtually-no-rehearsal-for-that.#guysbarryihadvirtuallynorehearsalforthat #everybodywrapitup #barrybarryimnotmakingamajorlifedecisionduringaproductionnumbersingerallrighttaketen #everyonecanwestopheresingeroh #myfriendthinkingbeemebarrytalkingoversingerholditletsjuststopforasecondholditimsorryimsorry #iwasdyingtogetoutofthatofficebarryrecreatesthescenenearthebeginningofthemoviewherehefliesthroughtheboxkitethemoviefadestoblackandthecreditsbeingaftercreditsnoscenecanbeseenbutthecharacterscanbeheardtalkingoverthecreditsyouhavegottostartthinkingbee -
ok here we go
#Scripts.com Bee-Movie By-Jerry-Seinfeld NARRATOR: (Black-screen-with-text;-The-sound-of-buzzing-bees-can-be-heard) According-to-all-known-laws of-aviation #: there-is-no-way-a-bee should-be-able-to-fly. -: Its-wings-are-too-small-to-get its-fat-little-body-off-the-ground. -: The-bee #of-course #flies-anyway -: because-bees-don't-care what-humans-think-is-impossible. BARRY-BENSON: (Barry-is-picking-out-a-shirt) Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. Yellow #black.-Yellow #black. -: Ooh #black-and-yellow! Let's-shake-it-up-a-little. JANET-BENSON: Barry!-Breakfast-is-ready! BARRY: Coming! -: Hang-on-a-second. (Barry-uses-his-antenna-like-a-phone) -: Hello? ADAM-FLAYMAN: (Through-phone) --Barry? BARRY: --Adam? ADAM: --Can-you-believe-this-is-happening? BARRY: --I-can't.-I'll-pick-you-up. (Barry-flies-down-the-stairs) -: MARTIN-BENSON: Looking-sharp. JANET: Use-the-stairs.-Your-father paid-good-money-for-those. BARRY: Sorry.-I'm-excited. MARTIN: Here's-the-graduate. We're-very-proud-of-you #son. -: A-perfect-report-card #all-B's. JANET: Very-proud. (Rubs-Barry's-hair) BARRY= Ma!-I-got-a-thing-going-here. JANET: --You-got-lint-on-your-fuzz. BARRY: --Ow!-That's-me! JANET: --Wave-to-us!-We'll-be-in-row-118 #000. --Bye! (Barry-flies-out-the-door) JANET: Barry #I-told-you #stop-flying-in-the-house! (Barry-drives-through-the-hive #and-is-waved-at-by-Adam-who-is-reading-a newspaper) BARRY== --Hey #Adam. ADAM: --Hey #Barry. (Adam-gets-in-Barry's-car) -: --Is-that-fuzz-gel? BARRY: --A-little.-Special-day #graduation. ADAM: Never-thought-I'd-make-it. (Barry-pulls-away-from-the-house-and-continues-driving) BARRY: Three-days-grade-school #three-days-high-school... ADAM: Those-were-awkward. BARRY: Three-days-college.-I'm-glad-I-took a-day-and-hitchhiked-around-the-hive. ADAM== You-did-come-back-different. (Barry-and-Adam-pass-by-Artie #who-is-jogging) ARTIE: --Hi #Barry! BARRY: --Artie #growing-a-mustache?-Looks-good. ADAM: --Hear-about-Frankie? BARRY: --Yeah. ADAM== --You-going-to-the-funeral? BARRY: --No #I'm-not-going-to-his-funeral. -: Everybody-knows #sting-someone #you-die. -: Don't-waste-it-on-a-squirrel. Such-a-hothead. ADAM: I-guess-he-could-have just-gotten-out-of-the-way. (The-car-does-a-barrel-roll-on-the-loop-shaped-bridge-and-lands-on-the highway) -: I-love-this-incorporating an-amusement-park-into-our-regular-day. BARRY: I-guess-that's-why-they-say-we-don't-need-vacations. (Barry-parallel-parks-the-car-and-together-they-fly-over-the-graduating students) Boy #quite-a-bit-of-pomp... under-the-circumstances. (Barry-and-Adam-sit-down-and-put-on-their-hats) -: --Well #Adam #today-we-are-men. ADAM: --We-are! BARRY= --Bee-men. =ADAM= --Amen! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Hallelujah! (Barry-and-Adam-both-have-a-happy-spasm) ANNOUNCER: Students #faculty #distinguished-bees #: please-welcome-Dean-Buzzwell. DEAN-BUZZWELL: Welcome #New-Hive-Oity graduating-class-of... -: ...9: -: That-concludes-our-ceremonies. -: And-begins-your-career at-Honex-Industries! ADAM: Will-we-pick-our-job-today? (Adam-and-Barry-get-into-a-tour-bus) BARRY= I-heard-it's-just-orientation. (Tour-buses-rise-out-of-the-ground-and-the-students-are-automatically loaded-into-the-buses) TOUR-GUIDE: Heads-up!-Here-we-go. ANNOUNCER: Keep-your-hands-and-antennas inside-the-tram-at-all-times. BARRY: --Wonder-what-it'll-be-like? ADAM: --A-little-scary. TOUR-GUIDE== Welcome-to-Honex #a-division-of-Honesco -: and-a-part-of-the-Hexagon-Group. Barry: This-is-it! BARRY-AND-ADAM: Wow. BARRY: Wow. (The-bus-drives-down-a-road-an-on-either-side-are-the-Bee's-massive complicated-Honey-making-machines) TOUR-GUIDE: We-know-that-you #as-a-bee #have-worked-your-whole-life -: to-get-to-the-point-where-you can-work-for-your-whole-life. -: Honey-begins-when-our-valiant-Pollen Jocks-bring-the-nectar-to-the-hive. -: Our-top-secret-formula -: is-automatically-color-corrected #scent-adjusted-and-bubble-contoured -: into-this-soothing-sweet-syrup -: with-its-distinctive golden-glow-you-know-as... EVERYONE-ON-BUS: Honey! (The-guide-has-been-collecting-honey-into-a-bottle-and-she-throws-it-into the-crowd-on-the-bus-and-it-is-caught-by-a-girl-in-the-back) ADAM: --That-girl-was-hot. BARRY: --She's-my-cousin! ADAM== --She-is? BARRY: --Yes #we're-all-cousins. ADAM: --Right.-You're-right. TOUR-GUIDE: --At-Honex #we-constantly-strive -: to-improve-every-aspect of-bee-existence. -: These-bees-are-stress-testing a-new-helmet-technology. (The-bus-passes-by-a-Bee-wearing-a-helmet-who-is-being-smashed-into-the ground-with-fly-swatters #newspapers-and-boots.-He-lifts-a-thumbs-up-but you-can-hear-him-groan) -: ADAM== --What-do-you-think-he-makes? BARRY: --Not-enough. TOUR-GUIDE: Here-we-have-our-latest-advancement #the-Krelman. (They-pass-by-a-turning-wheel-with-Bees-standing-on-pegs #who-are-each wearing-a-finger-shaped-hat) Barry: --Wow #What-does-that-do? TOUR-GUIDE: --Catches-that-little-strand-of-honey -: that-hangs-after-you-pour-it. Saves-us-millions. ADAM: (Intrigued) Can-anyone-work-on-the-Krelman? TOUR-GUIDE: Of-course.-Most-bee-jobs-are small-ones. But-bees-know-that-every-small-job #if-it's-done-well #means-a-lot. -: But-choose-carefully -: because-you'll-stay-in-the-job you-pick-for-the-rest-of-your-life. (Everyone-claps-except-for-Barry) BARRY: The-same-job-the-rest-of-your-life? I-didn't-know-that. ADAM: What's-the-difference? TOUR-GUIDE: You'll-be-happy-to-know-that-bees #as-a-species #haven't-had-one-day-off -: in-27-million-years. BARRY: (Upset) So-you'll-just-work-us-to-death? -: We'll-sure-try. (Everyone-on-the-bus-laughs-except-Barry.-Barry-and-Adam-are-walking-back home-together) ADAM: Wow!-That-blew-my-mind! BARRY: 'What's-the-difference?' How-can-you-say-that? -: One-job-forever? That's-an-insane-choice-to-have-to-make. ADAM: I'm-relieved.-Now-we-only-have to-make-one-decision-in-life. BARRY: But #Adam #how-could-they never-have-told-us-that? ADAM: Why-would-you-question-anything? We're-bees. -: We're-the-most-perfectly functioning-society-on-Earth. BARRY: You-ever-think-maybe-things work-a-little-too-well-here? ADAM: Like-what?-Give-me-one-example. (Barry-and-Adam-stop-walking-and-it-is-revealed-to-the-audience-that hundreds-of-cars-are-speeding-by-and-narrowly-missing-them-in-perfect unison) BARRY: I-don't-know.-But-you-know what-I'm-talking-about. ANNOUNCER: Please-clear-the-gate. Royal-Nectar-Force-on-approach. BARRY: Wait-a-second.-Check-it-out. (The-Pollen-jocks-fly-in #circle-around-and-landing-in-line) -: --Hey #those-are-Pollen-Jocks! ADAM: --Wow. -: I've-never-seen-them-this-close. BARRY: They-know-what-it's-like outside-the-hive. ADAM: Yeah #but-some-don't-come-back. GIRL-BEES: --Hey #Jocks! --Hi #Jocks! (The-Pollen-Jocks-hook-up-their-backpacks-to-machines-that-pump-the-nectar to-trucks #which-drive-away) LOU-LO-DUVA: You-guys-did-great! -: You're-monsters! You're-sky-freaks! I-love-it! (Punching-the-Pollen-Jocks-in-joy) I-love-it! ADAM: --I-wonder-where-they-were. BARRY: --I-don't-know. -: Their-day's-not-planned. -: Outside-the-hive #flying-who-knows where #doing-who-knows-what. -: You-can't-just-decide-to-be-a-Pollen Jock.-You-have-to-be-bred-for-that. ADAM== Right. (Barry-and-Adam-are-covered-in-some-pollen-that-floated-off-of-the-Pollen Jocks) BARRY: Look-at-that.-That's-more-pollen than-you-and-I-will-see-in-a-lifetime. ADAM: It's-just-a-status-symbol. Bees-make-too-much-of-it. BARRY: Perhaps.-Unless-you're-wearing-it and-the-ladies-see-you-wearing-it. (Barry-waves-at-2-girls-standing-a-little-away-from-them) ADAM== Those-ladies? Aren't-they-our-cousins-too? BARRY: Distant.-Distant. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Look-at-these-two. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Couple-of-Hive-Harrys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --Let's-have-fun-with-them. GIRL-BEE-#1: It-must-be-dangerous being-a-Pollen-Jock. BARRY: Yeah.-Once-a-bear-pinned-me against-a-mushroom! -: He-had-a-paw-on-my-throat #and-with-the-other #he-was-slapping-me! (Slaps-Adam-with-his-hand-to-represent-his-scenario) GIRL-BEE-#2: --Oh #my! BARRY: --I-never-thought-I'd-knock-him-out. GIRL-BEE-#1: (Looking-at-Adam) What-were-you-doing-during-this? ADAM: Obviously-I-was-trying-to-alert-the-authorities. BARRY: I-can-autograph-that. (The-pollen-jocks-walk-up-to-Barry-and-Adam #they-pretend-that-Barry-and Adam-really-are-pollen-jocks.) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: A-little-gusty-out-there-today #wasn't-it #comrades? BARRY: Yeah.-Gusty. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-hitting-a-sunflower-patch six-miles-from-here-tomorrow. BARRY: --Six-miles #huh? ADAM: --Barry! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: A-puddle-jump-for-us #but-maybe-you're-not-up-for-it. BARRY: --Maybe-I-am. ADAM: --You-are-not! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: We're-going-0900-at-J-Gate. -: What-do-you-think #buzzy-boy? Are-you-bee-enough? BARRY: I-might-be.-It-all-depends on-what-0900-means. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-looking-out-on-the-hive-city-from-his-balcony-at night) MARTIN: Hey #Honex! BARRY: Dad #you-surprised-me. MARTIN: You-decide-what-you're-interested-in? BARRY: --Well #there's-a-lot-of-choices. --But-you-only-get-one. -: Do-you-ever-get-bored doing-the-same-job-every-day? MARTIN: Son #let-me-tell-you-about-stirring. -: You-grab-that-stick #and-you-just move-it-around #and-you-stir-it-around. -: You-get-yourself-into-a-rhythm. It's-a-beautiful-thing. BARRY: You-know #Dad #the-more-I-think-about-it #: maybe-the-honey-field just-isn't-right-for-me. MARTIN: You-were-thinking-of-what #making-balloon-animals? -: That's-a-bad-job for-a-guy-with-a-stinger. -: Janet #your-son's-not-sure he-wants-to-go-into-honey! JANET: --Barry #you-are-so-funny-sometimes. BARRY: --I'm-not-trying-to-be-funny. MARTIN: You're-not-funny!-You're-going into-honey.-Our-son #the-stirrer! JANET: --You're-gonna-be-a-stirrer? BARRY: --No-one's-listening-to-me! MARTIN: Wait-till-you-see-the-sticks-I-have. BARRY: I-could-say-anything-right-now. I'm-gonna-get-an-ant-tattoo! (Barry's-parents-don't-listen-to-him-and-continue-to-ramble-on) MARTIN: Let's-open-some-honey-and-celebrate! BARRY: Maybe-I'll-pierce-my-thorax. Shave-my-antennae. -: Shack-up-with-a-grasshopper.-Get a-gold-tooth-and-call-everybody-'dawg'! JANET: I'm-so-proud. (The-scene-cuts-to-Barry-and-Adam-waiting-in-line-to-get-a-job) ADAM: --We're-starting-work-today! BARRY: --Today's-the-day. ADAM: Come-on!-All-the-good-jobs will-be-gone. BARRY: Yeah #right. JOB-LISTER: Pollen-counting #stunt-bee #pouring #stirrer #front-desk #hair-removal... BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Is-it-still-available? JOB-LISTER: --Hang-on.-Two-left! -: One-of-them's-yours!-Congratulations! Step-to-the-side. ADAM: --What'd-you-get? BEE-IN-FRONT-OF-LINE: --Picking-crud-out.-Stellar! (He-walks-away) ADAM: Wow! JOB-LISTER: Couple-of-newbies? ADAM: Yes #sir!-Our-first-day!-We-are-ready! JOB-LISTER: Make-your-choice. (Adam-and-Barry-look-up-at-the-job-board.-There-are-hundreds-of-constantly changing-panels-that-contain-available-or-unavailable-jobs.-It-looks-very confusing) ADAM: --You-want-to-go-first? BARRY: --No #you-go. ADAM: Oh #my.-What's-available? JOB-LISTER: Restroom-attendant's-open #not-for-the-reason-you-think. ADAM: --Any-chance-of-getting-the-Krelman? JOB-LISTER: --Sure #you're-on. (Puts-the-Krelman-finger-hat-on-Adam's-head) (Suddenly-the-sign-for-Krelman-closes-out) -: I'm-sorry #the-Krelman-just-closed-out. (Takes-Adam's-hat-off) Wax-monkey's-always-open. ADAM: The-Krelman-opened-up-again. -: What-happened? JOB-LISTER: A-bee-died.-Makes-an-opening.-See? He's-dead.-Another-dead-one. -: Deady.-Deadified.-Two-more-dead. -: Dead-from-the-neck-up. Dead-from-the-neck-down.-That's-life! ADAM: Oh #this-is-so-hard! (Barry-remembers-what-the-Pollen-Jock-offered-him-and-he-flies-off) Heating #cooling #stunt-bee #pourer #stirrer #: humming #inspector-number-seven #lint-coordinator #stripe-supervisor #: mite-wrangler.-Barry #what do-you-think-I-should...-Barry? (Adam-turns-around-and-sees-Barry-flying-away) -: Barry! POLLEN-JOCK: All-right #we've-got-the-sunflower-patch in-quadrant-nine... ADAM: (Through-phone) What-happened-to-you? Where-are-you? BARRY: --I'm-going-out. ADAM: --Out?-Out-where? BARRY: --Out-there. ADAM: --Oh #no! BARRY: I-have-to #before-I-go to-work-for-the-rest-of-my-life. ADAM: You're-gonna-die!-You're-crazy! (Barry-hangs-up) Hello? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Another-call-coming-in. -: If-anyone's-feeling-brave #there's-a-Korean-deli-on-83rd -: that-gets-their-roses-today. BARRY: Hey #guys. POLLEN-JOCK-#1-== --Look-at-that. POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --Isn't-that-the-kid-we-saw-yesterday? LOU-LO-DUVA: Hold-it #son #flight-deck's-restricted. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: It's-OK #Lou.-We're-gonna-take-him-up. (Puts-hand-on-Barry's-shoulder) LOU-LO-DUVA: (To-Barry)-Really?-Feeling-lucky #are-you? BEE-WITH-CLIPBOARD: (To-Barry)-Sign-here #here.-Just-initial-that. -: --Thank-you. LOU-LO-DUVA: --OK. -: You-got-a-rain-advisory-today #: and-as-you-all-know #bees-cannot-fly-in-rain. -: So-be-careful.-As-always #watch-your-brooms #: hockey-sticks #dogs #birds #bears-and-bats. -: Also #I-got-a-couple-of-reports of-root-beer-being-poured-on-us. -: Murphy's-in-a-home-because-of-it #babbling-like-a-cicada! BARRY: --That's-awful. LOU-LO-DUVA: (Still-talking-through-megaphone) --And-a-reminder-for-you-rookies #: bee-law-number-one #absolutely-no-talking-to-humans! -: All-right #launch-positions! POLLEN-JOCKS: (The-Pollen-Jocks-run-into-formation) -: Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz!-Buzz #buzz #buzz #buzz! LOU-LU-DUVA: Black-and-yellow! POLLEN-JOCKS: Hello! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (To-Barry)You-ready-for-this #hot-shot? BARRY: Yeah.-Yeah #bring-it-on. POLLEN-JOCK's: Wind #check. -: --Antennae #check. --Nectar-pack #check. -: --Wings #check. --Stinger #check. BARRY: Scared-out-of-my-shorts #check. LOU-LO-DUVA: OK #ladies #: let's-move-it-out! -: Pound-those-petunias #you-striped-stem-suckers! -: All-of-you #drain-those-flowers! (The-pollen-jocks-fly-out-of-the-hive) BARRY: Wow!-I'm-out! -: I-can't-believe-I'm-out! -: So-blue. -: I-feel-so-fast-and-free! -: Box-kite! (Barry-flies-through-the-kite) -: Wow! -: Flowers! (A-pollen-jock-puts-on-some-high-tech-goggles-that-shows-flowers-similar-to heat-sink-goggles.) POLLEN-JOCK: This-is-Blue-Leader. We-have-roses-visual. -: Bring-it-around-30-degrees-and-hold. -: Roses! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: 30-degrees #roger.-Bringing-it-around. -: Stand-to-the-side #kid. It's-got-a-bit-of-a-kick. (The-pollen-jock-fires-a-high-tech-gun-at-the-flower #shooting-tubes-that suck-up-the-nectar-from-the-flower-and-collects-it-into-a-pouch-on-the-gun) BARRY: That-is-one-nectar-collector! POLLEN-JOCK-#1== --Ever-see-pollination-up-close? BARRY: --No #sir. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Barry-and-the-Pollen-jock-fly-over-the-field #the-pollen-jock-sprinkles pollen-as-he-goes) -: I-pick-up-some-pollen-here #sprinkle-it over-here.-Maybe-a-dash-over-there #: a-pinch-on-that-one. See-that?-It's-a-little-bit-of-magic. BARRY: That's-amazing.-Why-do-we-do-that? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: That's-pollen-power.-More-pollen #more flowers #more-nectar #more-honey-for-us. BARRY: Cool. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: I'm-picking-up-a-lot-of-bright-yellow. could-be-daisies.-Don't-we-need-those? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Copy-that-visual. -: Wait.-One-of-these-flowers seems-to-be-on-the-move. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Say-again?-You're-reporting a-moving-flower? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: Affirmative. (The-Pollen-jocks-land-near-the-'flowers'-which #to-the-audience-are obviously-just-tennis-balls) KEN: (In-the-distance)-That-was-on-the-line! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: This-is-the-coolest.-What-is-it? POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-know #but-I'm-loving-this-color. -: It-smells-good. Not-like-a-flower #but-I-like-it. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Yeah #fuzzy. (Sticks-his-hand-on-the-ball-but-it-gets-stuck) POLLEN-JOCK-#3== Chemical-y. (The-pollen-jock-finally-gets-his-hand-free-from-the-tennis-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Careful #guys.-It's-a-little-grabby. (The-pollen-jocks-turn-around-and-see-Barry-lying-his-entire-body-on-top-of one-of-the-tennis-balls) POLLEN-JOCK-#2: My-sweet-lord-of-bees! POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Candy-brain #get-off-there! POLLEN-JOCK-#1: (Pointing-upwards) Problem! (A-human-hand-reaches-down-and-grabs-the-tennis-ball-that-Barry-is-stuck to) BARRY: --Guys! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: --This-could-be-bad. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: Affirmative. (Vanessa-Bloome-starts-bouncing-the-tennis-ball #not-knowing-Barry-is-stick to-it) BARRY== Very-close. -: Gonna-hurt. -: Mama's-little-boy. (Barry-is-being-hit-back-and-forth-by-two-humans-playing-tennis.-He-is still-stuck-to-the-ball) POLLEN-JOCK-#1: You-are-way-out-of-position #rookie! KEN: Coming-in-at-you-like-a-MISSILE! (Barry-flies-past-the-pollen-jocks #still-stuck-to-the-ball) BARRY: (In-slow-motion) Help-me! POLLEN-JOCK-#2: I-don't-think-these-are-flowers. POLLEN-JOCK-#3: --Should-we-tell-him? POLLEN-JOCK-#1: --I-think-he-knows. BARRY: What-is-this?! KEN: Match-point! -: You-can-start-packing-up #honey #because-you're-about-to-EAT-IT! (A-pollen-jock-coughs-which-confused-Ken-and-he-hits-the-ball-the-wrong-way with-Barry-stuck-to-it-and-it-goes-flying-into-the-city) BARRY: Yowser! (Barry-bounces-around-town-and-gets-stuck-in-the-engine-of-a-car.-He-flies into-the-air-conditioner-and-sees-a-bug-that-was-frozen-in-there) BARRY: Ew #gross. (The-man-driving-the-car-turns-on-the-air-conditioner-which-blows-Barry into-the-car) GIRL-IN-CAR: There's-a-bee-in-the-car! -: --Do-something! DAD-DRIVING-CAR: --I'm-driving! BABY-GIRL: (Waving-at-Barry) --Hi #bee. (Barry-smiles-and-waves-at-the-baby-girl) GUY-IN-BACK-OF-CAR: --He's-back-here! -: He's-going-to-sting-me! GIRL-IN-CAR: Nobody-move.-If-you-don't-move #he-won't-sting-you.-Freeze! (Barry-freezes-as-well #hovering-in-the-middle-of-the-car) -: GRANDMA-IN-CAR== He-blinked! (The-grandma-whips-out-some-bee-spray-and-sprays-everywhere-in-the-car #climbing-into-the-front-seat #still-trying-to-spray-Barry) GIRL-IN-CAR: Spray-him #Granny! DAD-DRIVING-THE-CAR: What-are-you-doing?! (Barry-escapes-the-car-through-the-air-conditioner-and-is-flying-high-above the-ground #safe.) BARRY: Wow...-the-tension-level out-here-is-unbelievable. (Barry-sees-that-storm-clouds-are-gathering-and-he-can-see-rain-clouds moving-into-this-direction) -: I-gotta-get-home. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-rain-drop-hits-Barry-and-one-of-his-wings-is-damaged) -: Can't-fly-in-rain. (A-second-rain-drop-hits-Barry-again-and-he-spirals-downwards) Mayday!-Mayday!-Bee-going-down! (WW2-plane-sound-effects-are-played-as-he-plummets #and-he-crash-lands-on-a plant-inside-an-apartment-near-the-window) VANESSA-BLOOME: Ken #could-you-close the-window-please? KEN== Hey #check-out-my-new-resume. I-made-it-into-a-fold-out-brochure. -: You-see? (Folds-brochure-resume-out) Folds-out. (Ken-closes-the-window #trapping-Barry-inside) BARRY: Oh #no.-More-humans.-I-don't-need-this. (Barry-tries-to-fly-away-but-smashes-into-the-window-and-falls-again) -: What-was-that? (Barry-keeps-trying-to-fly-out-the-window-but-he-keeps-being-knocked-back because-the-window-is-closed) Maybe-this-time.-This-time.-This-time. This-time!-This-time!-This... -: Drapes! (Barry-taps-the-glass.-He-doesn't-understand-what-it-is) That-is-diabolical. KEN: It's-fantastic.-It's-got-all-my-special skills #even-my-top-ten-favorite-movies. ANDY: What's-number-one?-Star-Wars? KEN: Nah #I-don't-go-for-that... (Ken-makes-finger-guns-and-makes-'pew-pew-pew'-sounds-and-then-stops) -: ...kind-of-stuff. BARRY: No-wonder-we-shouldn't-talk-to-them. They're-out-of-their-minds. KEN: When-I-leave-a-job-interview #they're flabbergasted #can't-believe-what-I-say. BARRY: (Looking-at-the-light-on-the-ceiling) There's-the-sun.-Maybe-that's-a-way-out. (Starts-flying-towards-the-lightbulb) -: I-don't-remember-the-sun having-a-big-75-on-it. (Barry-hits-the-lightbulb-and-falls-into-the-dip-on-the-table-that-the humans-are-sitting-at) KEN: I-predicted-global-warming. -: I-could-feel-it-getting-hotter. At-first-I-thought-it-was-just-me. (Andy-dips-a-chip-into-the-bowl-and-scoops-up-some-dip-with-Barry-on-it-and is-about-to-put-it-in-his-mouth) -: Wait!-Stop!-Bee! (Andy-drops-the-chip-with-Barry-in-fear-and-backs-away.-All-the-humans freak-out) -: Stand-back.-These-are-winter-boots. (Ken-has-winter-boots-on-his-hands-and-he-is-about-to-smash-the-bee-but Vanessa-saves-him-last-second) VANESSA: Wait! -: Don't-kill-him! (Vanessa-puts-Barry-in-a-glass-to-protect-him) KEN: You-know-I'm-allergic-to-them! This-thing-could-kill-me! VANESSA: Why-does-his-life-have less-value-than-yours? KEN: Why-does-his-life-have-any-less-value than-mine?-Is-that-your-statement? VANESSA: I'm-just-saying-all-life-has-value.-You don't-know-what-he's-capable-of-feeling. (Vanessa-picks-up-Ken's-brochure-and-puts-it-under-the-glass-so-she-can carry-Barry-back-to-the-window.-Barry-looks-at-Vanessa-in-amazement) KEN: My-brochure! VANESSA: There-you-go #little-guy. (Vanessa-opens-the-window-and-lets-Barry-out-but-Barry-stays-back-and-is still-shocked-that-a-human-saved-his-life) KEN: I'm-not-scared-of-him. It's-an-allergic-thing. VANESSA: Put-that-on-your-resume-brochure. KEN: My-whole-face-could-puff-up. ANDY: Make-it-one-of-your-special-skills. KEN: Knocking-someone-out is-also-a-special-skill. (Ken-walks-to-the-door) Right.-Bye #Vanessa.-Thanks. -: --Vanessa #next-week?-Yogurt-night? VANESSA: --Sure #Ken.-You-know #whatever. -: (Vanessa-tries-to-close-door) KEN== --You-could-put-carob-chips-on-there. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door-but-Ken-opens-it-again) KEN: --Supposed-to-be-less-calories. VANESSA: --Bye. (Closes-door) (Fast-forward-to-the-next-day #Barry-is-still-inside-the-house.-He-flies into-the-kitchen-where-Vanessa-is-doing-dishes) BARRY== (Talking-to-himself) I-gotta-say-something. -: She-saved-my-life. I-gotta-say-something. -: All-right #here-it-goes. (Turns-back) Nah. -: What-would-I-say? -: I-could-really-get-in-trouble. -: It's-a-bee-law. You're-not-supposed-to-talk-to-a-human. -: I-can't-believe-I'm-doing-this. -: I've-got-to. (Barry-disguises-himself-as-a-character-on-a-food-can-as-Vanessa-walks-by again) -: Oh #I-can't-do-it.-Come-on! -: No.-Yes.-No. -: Do-it.-I-can't. -: How-should-I-start-it? (Barry-strikes-a-pose-and-wiggles-his-eyebrows) 'You-like-jazz?' No #that's-no-good. (Vanessa-is-about-to-walk-past-Barry) Here-she-comes!-Speak #you-fool! -: ...Hi! (Vanessa-gasps-and-drops-the-dishes-in-fright-and-notices-Barry-on-the counter) -: I'm-sorry. VANESSA: --You're-talking. BARRY: --Yes #I-know. VANESSA: (Pointing-at-Barry) You're-talking! BARRY: I'm-so-sorry. VANESSA: No #it's-OK.-It's-fine. I-know-I'm-dreaming. -: But-I-don't-recall-going-to-bed. BARRY: Well #I'm-sure-this is-very-disconcerting. VANESSA: This-is-a-bit-of-a-surprise-to-me. I-mean #you're-a-bee! BARRY: I-am.-And-I'm-not-supposed to-be-doing-this #(Pointing-to-the-living-room-where-Ken-tried-to-kill-him-last-night) but-they-were-all-trying-to-kill-me. -: And-if-it-wasn't-for-you... -: I-had-to-thank-you. It's-just-how-I-was-raised. (Vanessa-stabs-her-hand-with-a-fork-to-test-whether-she's-dreaming-or-not) -: That-was-a-little-weird. VANESSA: --I'm-talking-with-a-bee. BARRY: --Yeah. VANESSA: I'm-talking-to-a-bee. And-the-bee-is-talking-to-me! BARRY: I-just-want-to-say-I'm-grateful. I'll-leave-now. (Barry-turns-to-leave) VANESSA: --Wait!-How-did-you-learn-to-do-that? BARRY: (Flying-back) --What? VANESSA: The-talking...thing. BARRY: Same-way-you-did #I-guess. 'Mama #Dada #honey.'-You-pick-it-up. VANESSA: --That's-very-funny. BARRY: --Yeah. -: Bees-are-funny.-If-we-didn't-laugh #we'd-cry-with-what-we-have-to-deal-with. -: Anyway... VANESSA: Can-I... -: ...get-you-something? BARRY: --Like-what? VANESSA: I-don't-know.-I-mean... I-don't-know.-Coffee? BARRY: I-don't-want-to-put-you-out. VANESSA: It's-no-trouble.-It-takes-two-minutes. -: --It's-just-coffee. BARRY: --I-hate-to-impose. (Vanessa-starts-making-coffee) VANESSA: --Don't-be-ridiculous! BARRY: --Actually #I-would-love-a-cup. VANESSA: Hey #you-want-rum-cake? BARRY: --I-shouldn't. VANESSA: --Have-some. BARRY: --No #I-can't. VANESSA: --Come-on! BARRY: I'm-trying-to-lose-a-couple-micrograms. VANESSA: --Where? BARRY: --These-stripes-don't-help. VANESSA: You-look-great! BARRY: I-don't-know-if-you-know anything-about-fashion. -: Are-you-all-right? VANESSA: (Pouring-coffee-on-the-floor-and-missing-the-cup-completely) No. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-sitting-together-at-a-table on-top-of-the-apartment-building-drinking-coffee) -: BARRY== He's-making-the-tie-in-the-cab as-they're-flying-up-Madison. -: He-finally-gets-there. -: He-runs-up-the-steps-into-the-church. The-wedding-is-on. -: And-he-says #'Watermelon? I-thought-you-said-Guatemalan. -: Why-would-I-marry-a-watermelon?' (Barry-laughs-but-Vanessa-looks-confused) VANESSA: Is-that-a-bee-joke? BARRY: That's-the-kind-of-stuff-we-do. VANESSA: Yeah #different. -: So #what-are-you-gonna-do #Barry? (Barry-stands-on-top-of-a-sugar-cube-floating-in-his-coffee-and-paddles-it around-with-a-straw-like-it's-a-gondola) BARRY: About-work?-I-don't-know. -: I-want-to-do-my-part-for-the-hive #but-I-can't-do-it-the-way-they-want. VANESSA: I-know-how-you-feel. BARRY: --You-do? VANESSA: --Sure. -: My-parents-wanted-me-to-be-a-lawyer-or a-doctor #but-I-wanted-to-be-a-florist. BARRY: --Really? VANESSA: --My-only-interest-is-flowers. BARRY: Our-new-queen-was-just-elected with-that-same-campaign-slogan. -: Anyway #if-you-look... (Barry-points-to-a-tree-in-the-middle-of-Central-Park) -: There's-my-hive-right-there.-See-it? VANESSA: You're-in-Sheep-Meadow! BARRY: Yes!-I'm-right-off-the-Turtle-Pond! VANESSA: No-way!-I-know-that-area. I-lost-a-toe-ring-there-once. BARRY: --Why-do-girls-put-rings-on-their-toes? VANESSA: --Why-not? BARRY: --It's-like-putting-a-hat-on-your-knee. VANESSA: --Maybe-I'll-try-that. (A-custodian-installing-a-lightbulb-looks-over-at-them-but-to-his perspective-it-looks-like-Vanessa-is-talking-to-a-cup-of-coffee-on-the table) CUSTODIAN: --You-all-right #ma'am? VANESSA: --Oh #yeah.-Fine. -: Just-having-two-cups-of-coffee! BARRY: Anyway #this-has-been-great. Thanks-for-the-coffee. VANESSA== Yeah #it's-no-trouble. BARRY: Sorry-I-couldn't-finish-it.-If-I-did #I'd-be-up-the-rest-of-my-life. (Barry-points-towards-the-rum-cake) -: Can-I-take-a-piece-of-this-with-me? VANESSA: Sure!-Here #have-a-crumb. (Vanessa-hands-Barry-a-crumb-but-it-is-still-pretty-big-for-Barry) BARRY: --Thanks! VANESSA: --Yeah. BARRY: All-right.-Well #then... I-guess-I'll-see-you-around. -: Or-not. VANESSA: OK #Barry... BARRY: And-thank-you so-much-again...-for-before. VANESSA: Oh #that?-That-was-nothing. BARRY: Well #not-nothing #but...-Anyway... (Vanessa-and-Barry-hold-hands #but-Vanessa-has-to-hold-out-a-finger-because her-hands-is-to-big-and-Barry-holds-that) (The-custodian-looks-over-again-and-it-appears-Vanessa-is-laughing-at-her coffee-again.-The-lightbulb-that-he-was-screwing-in-sparks-and-he-falls-off the-ladder) (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-two-Bee-Scientists-testing-out-a-parachute in-a-Honex-wind-tunnel) BEE-SCIENTIST-#1: This-can't-possibly-work. BEE-SCIENTIST-#2: He's-all-set-to-go. We-may-as-well-try-it. -: OK #Dave #pull-the-chute. (Dave-pulls-the-chute-and-the-wind-slams-him-against-the-wall-and-he-falls on-his-face.The-camera-pans-over-and-we-see-Barry-and-Adam-walking together) ADAM: --Sounds-amazing. BARRY: --It-was-amazing! -: It-was-the-scariest #happiest-moment-of-my-life. ADAM: Humans!-I-can't-believe you-were-with-humans! -: Giant #scary-humans! What-were-they-like? BARRY: Huge-and-crazy.-They-talk-crazy. -: They-eat-crazy-giant-things. They-drive-crazy. ADAM: --Do-they-try-and-kill-you #like-on-TV? BARRY: --Some-of-them.-But-some-of-them-don't. ADAM: --How'd-you-get-back? BARRY: --Poodle. ADAM: You-did-it #and-I'm-glad.-You-saw whatever-you-wanted-to-see. -: You-had-your-'experience.'-Now-you can-pick-out-your-job-and-be-normal. BARRY: --Well... ADAM: --Well? BARRY: Well #I-met-someone. ADAM: You-did?-Was-she-Bee-ish? -: --A-wasp?!-Your-parents-will-kill-you! BARRY: --No #no #no #not-a-wasp. ADAM: --Spider? BARRY: --I'm-not-attracted-to-spiders. -: I-know #for-everyone-else #it's-the-hottest-thing #with-the-eight-legs-and-all. -: I-can't-get-by-that-face. ADAM: So-who-is-she? BARRY: She's...-human. ADAM: No #no.-That's-a-bee-law. You-wouldn't-break-a-bee-law. BARRY: --Her-name's-Vanessa. (Adam-puts-his-head-in-his-hands) ADAM: --Oh #boy. BARRY== She's-so-nice.-And-she's-a-florist! ADAM: Oh #no!-You're-dating-a-human-florist! BARRY: We're-not-dating. ADAM: You're-flying-outside-the-hive #talking to-humans-that-attack-our-homes -: with-power-washers-and-M-80s! That's-one-eighth-a-stick-of-dynamite! BARRY: She-saved-my-life! And-she-understands-me. ADAM: This-is-over! BARRY: Eat-this. (Barry-gives-Adam-a-piece-of-the-crumb-that-he-got-from-Vanessa.-Adam-eats it) ADAM: (Adam's-tone-changes) This-is-not-over!-What-was-that? BARRY: --They-call-it-a-crumb. ADAM: --It-was-so-stingin'-stripey! BARRY: And-that's-not-what-they-eat. That's-what-falls-off-what-they-eat! -: --You-know-what-a-Cinnabon-is? ADAM: --No. (Adam-opens-a-door-behind-him-and-he-pulls-Barry-in) BARRY: It's-bread-and-cinnamon-and-frosting. ADAM: Be-quiet! BARRY: They-heat-it-up... ADAM: Sit-down! (Adam-forces-Barry-to-sit-down) BARRY: (Still-rambling-about-Cinnabons) ...really-hot! (Adam-grabs-Barry-by-the-shoulders) ADAM: --Listen-to-me! -: We-are-not-them!-We're-us. There's-us-and-there's-them! BARRY== Yes #but-who-can-deny the-heart-that-is-yearning? ADAM: There's-no-yearning. Stop-yearning.-Listen-to-me! -: You-have-got-to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend.-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEE: --Thinking-bee. WORKER-BEES-AND-ADAM: Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-is-laying-on-a-raft-in-a-pool-full-of-honey. He-is-wearing-sunglasses) JANET: There-he-is.-He's-in-the-pool. MARTIN: You-know-what-your-problem-is #Barry? (Barry-pulls-down-his-sunglasses-and-he-looks-annoyed) BARRY: (Sarcastic) I-gotta-start-thinking-bee? JANET: How-much-longer-will-this-go-on? MARTIN: It's-been-three-days! Why-aren't-you-working? (Puts-sunglasses-back-on) BARRY: I've-got-a-lot-of-big-life-decisions to-think-about. MARTIN: What-life?-You-have-no-life! You-have-no-job.-You're-barely-a-bee! JANET: Would-it-kill-you to-make-a-little-honey? (Barry-rolls-off-the-raft-and-sinks-into-the-honey-pool) -: Barry #come-out. Your-father's-talking-to-you. -: Martin #would-you-talk-to-him? MARTIN: Barry #I'm-talking-to-you! (Barry-keeps-sinking-into-the-honey-until-he-is-suddenly-in-Central-Park having-a-picnic-with-Vanessa) (Barry-has-a-cup-of-honey-and-he-clinks-his-glass-with-Vanessas.-Suddenly-a mosquito-lands-on-Vanessa-and-she-slaps-it #killing-it.-They-both-gasp-but then-burst-out-laughing) VANESSA: You-coming? (The-camera-pans-over-and-Vanessa-is-climbing-into-a-small-yellow-airplane) BARRY: Got-everything? VANESSA: All-set! BARRY: Go-ahead.-I'll-catch-up. (Vanessa-lifts-off-and-flies-ahead) VANESSA: Don't-be-too-long. (Barry-catches-up-with-Vanessa-and-he-sticks-out-his-arms-like-ana-irplane. He-rolls-from-side-to-side #and-Vanessa-copies-him-with-the-airplane) VANESSA: Watch-this! (Barry-stays-back-and-watches-as-Vanessa-draws-a-heart-in-the-air-using pink-smoke-from-the-plane #but-on-the-last-loop-the-loop-she-suddenly crashes-into-a-mountain-and-the-plane-explodes.-The-destroyed-plane-falls into-some-rocks-and-explodes-a-second-time) BARRY: Vanessa! (As-Barry-is-yelling-his-mouth-fills-with-honey-and-he-wakes-up #discovering-that-he-was-just-day-dreaming.-He-slowly-sinks-back-into-the honey-pool) MARTIN: --We're-still-here. JANET: --I-told-you-not-to-yell-at-him. -: He-doesn't-respond-to-yelling! MARTIN: --Then-why-yell-at-me? JANET: --Because-you-don't-listen! MARTIN: I'm-not-listening-to-this. BARRY: Sorry #I've-gotta-go. MARTIN: --Where-are-you-going? BARRY: --I'm-meeting-a-friend. JANET: A-girl?-Is-this-why-you-can't-decide? BARRY: Bye. (Barry-flies-out-the-door-and-Martin-shakes-his-head) -: JANET== I-just-hope-she's-Bee-ish. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-sitting-on-Vanessa's-shoulder-and-she-is closing-up-her-shop) BARRY: They-have-a-huge-parade of-flowers-every-year-in-Pasadena? VANESSA: To-be-in-the-Tournament-of-Roses #that's-every-florist's-dream! -: Up-on-a-float #surrounded by-flowers #crowds-cheering. BARRY: A-tournament.-Do-the-roses compete-in-athletic-events? VANESSA: No.-All-right #I've-got-one. How-come-you-don't-fly-everywhere? BARRY: It's-exhausting.-Why-don't-you run-everywhere?-It's-faster. VANESSA: Yeah #OK #I-see #I-see. All-right #your-turn. BARRY: TiVo.-You-can-just-freeze-live-TV? That's-insane! VANESSA: You-don't-have-that? BARRY: We-have-Hivo #but-it's-a-disease. It's-a-horrible #horrible-disease. VANESSA: Oh #my. (A-human-walks-by-and-Barry-narrowly-avoids-him) PASSERBY: Dumb-bees! VANESSA: You-must-want-to-sting-all-those-jerks. BARRY: We-try-not-to-sting. It's-usually-fatal-for-us. VANESSA: So-you-have-to-watch-your-temper (They-walk-into-a-store) BARRY: Very-carefully. You-kick-a-wall #take-a-walk #: write-an-angry-letter-and-throw-it-out. Work-through-it-like-any-emotion: -: Anger #jealousy #lust. (Suddenly-an-employee(Hector)-hits-Barry-off-of-Vanessa's-shoulder.-Hector thinks-he's-saving-Vanessa) VANESSA: (To-Barry) Oh #my-goodness!-Are-you-OK? (Barry-is-getting-up-off-the-floor) BARRY: Yeah. VANESSA: (To-Hector) --What-is-wrong-with-you?! HECTOR: (Confused) --It's-a-bug. VANESSA: He's-not-bothering-anybody. Get-out-of-here #you-creep! (Vanessa-hits-Hector-across-the-face-with-the-magazine-he-had-and-then-hits him-in-the-head.-Hector-backs-away-covering-his-head) Barry: What-was-that?-A-Pic-'N'-Save-circular? (Vanessa-sets-Barry-back-on-her-shoulder) VANESSA: Yeah #it-was.-How-did-you-know? BARRY: It-felt-like-about-10-pages. Seventy-five-is-pretty-much-our-limit. VANESSA: You've-really-got-that down-to-a-science. BARRY: --Oh #we-have-to.-I-lost-a-cousin-to-Italian-Vogue. VANESSA: --I'll-bet. (Barry-looks-to-his-right-and-notices-there-is-honey-for-sale-in-the-aisle) BARRY: What-in-the-name of-Mighty-Hercules-is-this? (Barry-looks-at-all-the-brands-of-honey #shocked) How-did-this-get-here? Cute-Bee #Golden-Blossom #: Ray-Liotta-Private-Select? (Barry-puts-his-hands-up-and-slowly-turns-around #a-look-of-disgust-on-his face) VANESSA: --Is-he-that-actor? BARRY: --I-never-heard-of-him. -: --Why-is-this-here? VANESSA: --For-people.-We-eat-it. BARRY: You-don't-have enough-food-of-your-own?! (Hector-looks-back-and-notices-that-Vanessa-is-talking-to-Barry) VANESSA: --Well #yes. BARRY: --How-do-you-get-it? VANESSA: --Bees-make-it. BARRY: --I-know-who-makes-it! -: And-it's-hard-to-make-it! -: There's-heating #cooling #stirring. You-need-a-whole-Krelman-thing! VANESSA: --It's-organic. BARRY: --It's-our-ganic! VANESSA: It's-just-honey #Barry. BARRY: Just-what?! -: Bees-don't-know-about-this! This-is-stealing!-A-lot-of-stealing! -: You've-taken-our-homes #schools #hospitals!-This-is-all-we-have! -: And-it's-on-sale?! I'm-getting-to-the-bottom-of-this. -: I'm-getting-to-the-bottom of-all-of-this! (Flash-forward-in-time;-Barry-paints-his-face-with-black-strikes-like-a soldier-and-sneaks-into-the-storage-section-of-the-store) (Two-men #including-Hector #are-loading-boxes-into-some-trucks) -: SUPERMARKET-EMPLOYEE== Hey #Hector. -: --You-almost-done? HECTOR: --Almost. (Barry-takes-a-step-to-peak-around-the-corner) (Whispering) He-is-here.-I-sense-it. -: Well #I-guess-I'll-go-home-now (Hector-pretends-to-walk-away-by-walking-in-place-and-speaking-loudly) -: and-just-leave-this-nice-honey-out #with-no-one-around. BARRY: You're-busted #box-boy! HECTOR: I-knew-I-heard-something! So-you-can-talk! BARRY: I-can-talk. And-now-you'll-start-talking! -: Where-you-getting-the-sweet-stuff? Who's-your-supplier? HECTOR: I-don't-understand. I-thought-we-were-friends. -: The-last-thing-we-want to-do-is-upset-bees! (Hector-takes-a-thumbtack-out-of-the-board-behind-him-and-sword-fights Barry.-Barry-is-using-his-stinger-like-a-sword) -: You're-too-late!-It's-ours-now! BARRY: You #sir #have-crossed the-wrong-sword! HECTOR: You #sir #will-be-lunch for-my-iguana #Ignacio! (Barry-hits-the-thumbtack-out-of-Hectors-hand-and-Hector-surrenders) Barry: Where-is-the-honey-coming-from? -: Tell-me-where! HECTOR: (Pointing-to-leaving-truck) Honey-Farms!-It-comes-from-Honey-Farms! (Barry-chases-after-the-truck-but-it-is-getting-away.-He-flies-onto-a bicyclists'-backpack-and-he-catches-up-to-the-truck) CAR-DRIVER: (To-bicyclist) Crazy-person! (Barry-flies-off-and-lands-on-the-windshield-of-the-Honey-farms-truck. Barry-looks-around-and-sees-dead-bugs-splattered-everywhere) BARRY: What-horrible-thing-has-happened-here? -: These-faces #they-never-knew what-hit-them.-And-now -: they're-on-the-road-to-nowhere! (Barry-hears-a-sudden-whisper) (Barry-looks-up-and-sees-Mooseblood #a-mosquito-playing-dead) MOOSEBLOOD: Just-keep-still. BARRY: What?-You're-not-dead? MOOSEBLOOD: Do-I-look-dead?-They-will-wipe-anything that-moves.-Where-you-headed? BARRY: To-Honey-Farms. I-am-onto-something-huge-here. MOOSEBLOOD: I'm-going-to-Alaska.-Moose-blood #crazy-stuff.-Blows-your-head-off! ANOTHER-BUG-PLAYING-DEAD: I'm-going-to-Tacoma. (Barry-looks-at-another-bug) BARRY: --And-you? MOOSEBLOOD: --He-really-is-dead. BARRY: All-right. (Another-bug-hits-the-windshield-and-the-drivers-notice.-They-activate-the windshield-wipers) MOOSEBLOOD== Uh-oh! (The-windshield-wipers-are-slowly-sliding-over-the-dead-bugs-and-wiping them-off) BARRY: --What-is-that?! MOOSEBLOOD: --Oh #no! -: --A-wiper!-Triple-blade! BARRY: --Triple-blade? MOOSEBLOOD: Jump-on!-It's-your-only-chance #bee! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-grab-onto-the-wiper-and-they-hold-on-as-it-wipes-the windshield) Why-does-everything-have to-be-so-doggone-clean?! -: How-much-do-you-people-need-to-see?! (Bangs-on-windshield) -: Open-your-eyes! Stick-your-head-out-the-window! RADIO-IN-TRUCK: From-NPR-News-in-Washington #I'm-Carl-Kasell. MOOSEBLOOD: But-don't-kill-no-more-bugs! (Mooseblood-and-Barry-are-washed-off-by-the-wipr-fluid) MOOSEBLOOD: --Bee! BARRY: --Moose-blood-guy!! (Barry-starts-screaming-as-he-hangs-onto-the-antenna) (Suddenly-it-is-revealed-that-a-water-bug-is-also-hanging-on-the-antenna. There-is-a-pause-and-then-Barry-and-the-water-bug-both-start-screaming) TRUCK-DRIVER: --You-hear-something? GUY-IN-TRUCK: --Like-what? TRUCK-DRIVER: Like-tiny-screaming. GUY-IN-TRUCK: Turn-off-the-radio. (The-antenna-starts-to-lower-until-it-gets-to-low-and-sinks-into-the-truck. The-water-bug-flies-off-and-Barry-is-forced-to-let-go-and-he-is-blown-away. He-luckily-lands-inside-a-horn-on-top-of-the-truck-where-he-finds Mooseblood #who-was-blown-into-the-same-place) MOOSEBLOOD: Whassup #bee-boy? BARRY: Hey #Blood. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-we-see-that-Barry-is-deep-in-conversation-with Mooseblood.-They-have-been-sitting-in-this-truck-for-a-while) BARRY: ...Just-a-row-of-honey-jars #as-far-as-the-eye-could-see. MOOSEBLOOD: Wow! BARRY: I-assume-wherever-this-truck-goes is-where-they're-getting-it. -: I-mean #that-honey's-ours. MOOSEBLOOD: --Bees-hang-tight. BARRY: --We're-all-jammed-in. -: It's-a-close-community. MOOSEBLOOD: Not-us #man.-We-on-our-own. Every-mosquito-on-his-own. BARRY: --What-if-you-get-in-trouble? MOOSEBLOOD: --You-a-mosquito #you-in-trouble. -: Nobody-likes-us.-They-just-smack. See-a-mosquito #smack #smack! BARRY: At-least-you're-out-in-the-world. You-must-meet-girls. MOOSEBLOOD: Mosquito-girls-try-to-trade-up #get-with-a-moth #dragonfly. -: Mosquito-girl-don't-want-no-mosquito. (An-ambulance-passes-by-and-it-has-a-blood-donation-sign-on-it) You-got-to-be-kidding-me! -: Mooseblood's-about-to-leave the-building!-So-long #bee! (Mooseblood-leaves-and-flies-onto-the-window-of-the-ambulance-where-there are-other-mosquito's-hanging-out) -: --Hey #guys! OTHER-MOSQUITO: --Mooseblood! MOOSEBLOOD: I-knew-I'd-catch-y'all-down-here. Did-you-bring-your-crazy-straw? (The-truck-goes-out-of-view-and-Barry-notices-that-the-truck-he's-on-is pulling-into-a-camp-of-some-sort) TRUCK-DRIVER: We-throw-it-in-jars #slap-a-label-on-it #and-it's-pretty-much-pure-profit. (Barry-flies-out) BARRY: What-is-this-place? BEEKEEPER-1#: A-bee's-got-a-brain the-size-of-a-pinhead. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-are-pinheads! -: Pinhead. -: --Check-out-the-new-smoker. BEEKEEPER-#1: --Oh #sweet.-That's-the-one-you-want. -: The-Thomas-3000! BARRY: Smoker? BEEKEEPER-#1: Ninety-puffs-a-minute #semi-automatic. Twice-the-nicotine #all-the-tar. -: A-couple-breaths-of-this knocks-them-right-out. BEEKEEPER-#2: They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money. BARRY: 'They-make-the-honey #and-we-make-the-money'? (The-Beekeeper-sprays-hundreds-of-cheap-miniature-apartments-with-the smoker.-The-bees-are-fainting-or-passing-out) Oh #my! -: What's-going-on?-Are-you-OK? (Barry-flies-into-one-of-the-apartment-and-helps-a-Bee-couple-get-off-the ground.-They-are-coughing-and-its-hard-for-them-to-stand) BEE-IN-APARTMENT: Yeah.-It-doesn't-last-too-long. BARRY: Do-you-know-you're in-a-fake-hive-with-fake-walls? BEE-IN-APPARTMENT: Our-queen-was-moved-here. We-had-no-choice. (The-apartment-room-is-completely-empty-except-for-a-photo-on-the-wall-of the-'queen'-who-is-obviously-a-man-in-women's-clothes) BARRY: This-is-your-queen? That's-a-man-in-women's-clothes! -: That's-a-drag-queen! -: What-is-this? (Barry-flies-out-and-he-discovers-that-there-are-hundreds-of-these structures #each-housing-thousands-of-Bees) Oh #no! -: There's-hundreds-of-them! (Barry-takes-out-his-camera-and-takes-pictures-of-these-Bee-work-camps.-The beekeepers-look-very-evil-in-these-depictions) Bee-honey. -: Our-honey-is-being-brazenly-stolen on-a-massive-scale! -: This-is-worse-than-anything-bears have-done!-I-intend-to-do-something. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-showing-these-pictures-to-his-parents) JANET: Oh #Barry #stop. MARTIN: Who-told-you-humans-are-taking our-honey?-That's-a-rumor. BARRY: Do-these-look-like-rumors? (Holds-up-the-pictures) UNCLE-CARL: That's-a-conspiracy-theory. These-are-obviously-doctored-photos. JANET: How-did-you-get-mixed-up-in-this? ADAM: He's-been-talking-to-humans. JANET: --What? MARTIN: --Talking-to-humans?! ADAM: He-has-a-human-girlfriend. And-they-make-out! JANET: Make-out?-Barry! BARRY: We-do-not. ADAM: --You-wish-you-could. MARTIN: --Whose-side-are-you-on? BARRY: The-bees! UNCLE-CARL: (He-has-been-sitting-in-the-back-of-the-room-this-entire-time) I-dated-a-cricket-once-in-San-Antonio. Those-crazy-legs-kept-me-up-all-night. JANET: Barry #this-is-what-you-want to-do-with-your-life? BARRY: I-want-to-do-it-for-all-our-lives. Nobody-works-harder-than-bees! -: Dad #I-remember-you coming-home-so-overworked -: your-hands-were-still-stirring. You-couldn't-stop. JANET: I-remember-that. BARRY: What-right-do-they-have-to-our-honey? -: We-live-on-two-cups-a-year.-They-put-it in-lip-balm-for-no-reason-whatsoever! ADAM: Even-if-it's-true #what-can-one-bee-do? BARRY: Sting-them-where-it-really-hurts. MARTIN: In-the-face!-The-eye! -: --That-would-hurt. BARRY: --No. MARTIN: Up-the-nose?-That's-a-killer. BARRY: There's-only-one-place-you-can-sting the-humans #one-place-where-it-matters. (Flash-forward-a-bit-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-Bee-News) BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: Hive-at-Five #the-hive's-only full-hour-action-news-source. BEE-PROTESTOR: No-more-bee-beards! BEE-NEWS-NARRATOR: With-Bob-Bumble-at-the-anchor-desk. -: Weather-with-Storm-Stinger. -: Sports-with-Buzz-Larvi. -: And-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: --Good-evening.-I'm-Bob-Bumble. JEANETTE-CHUNG: --And-I'm-Jeanette-Chung. BOB-BUMBLE: A-tri-county-bee #Barry-Benson #: intends-to-sue-the-human-race for-stealing-our-honey #: packaging-it-and-profiting from-it-illegally! JEANETTE-CHUNG: Tomorrow-night-on-Bee-Larry-King #: we'll-have-three-former-queens-here-in our-studio #discussing-their-new-book #: Classy-Ladies #out-this-week-on-Hexagon. (The-scene-changes-to-an-interview-on-the-news-with-Bee-version-of-Larry King-and-Barry) BEE-LARRY-KING: Tonight-we're-talking-to-Barry-Benson. -: Did-you-ever-think #'I'm-a-kid from-the-hive.-I-can't-do-this'? BARRY: Bees-have-never-been-afraid to-change-the-world. -: What-about-Bee-Columbus? Bee-Gandhi?-Bejesus? BEE-LARRY-KING: Where-I'm-from #we'd-never-sue-humans. -: We-were-thinking of-stickball-or-candy-stores. BARRY: How-old-are-you? BEE-LARRY-KING: The-bee-community is-supporting-you-in-this-case #: which-will-be-the-trial of-the-bee-century. BARRY: You-know #they-have-a-Larry-King in-the-human-world-too. BEE-LARRY-KING: It's-a-common-name.-Next-week... BARRY: He-looks-like-you-and-has-a-show and-suspenders-and-colored-dots... BEE-LARRY-KING: Next-week... BARRY: Glasses #quotes-on-the-bottom-from-the guest-even-though-you-just-heard-'em. BEE-LARRY-KING: Bear-Week-next-week! They're-scary #hairy-and-here #live. (Bee-Larry-King-gets-annoyed-and-flies-away-offscreen) BARRY: Always-leans-forward #pointy-shoulders #squinty-eyes #very-Jewish. (Flash-forward-in-time.-We-see-Vanessa-enter-and-Ken-enters-behind-her. They-are-arguing) KEN: In-tennis #you-attack at-the-point-of-weakness! VANESSA: It-was-my-grandmother #Ken.-She's-81. KEN== Honey #her-backhand's-a-joke! I'm-not-gonna-take-advantage-of-that? BARRY: (To-Ken) Quiet #please. Actual-work-going-on-here. KEN: (Pointing-at-Barry) --Is-that-that-same-bee? VANESSA: --Yes #it-is! -: I'm-helping-him-sue-the-human-race. BARRY: --Hello. KEN: --Hello #bee. VANESSA: This-is-Ken. BARRY: (Recalling-the-'Winter-Boots'-incident-earlier) Yeah #I-remember-you.-Timberland #size ten-and-a-half.-Vibram-sole #I-believe. KEN: (To-Vanessa) Why-does-he-talk-again? VANESSA: Listen #you-better-go 'cause-we're-really-busy-working. KEN: But-it's-our-yogurt-night! VANESSA: (Holding-door-open-for-Ken) Bye-bye. KEN: (Yelling) Why-is-yogurt-night-so-difficult?! (Ken-leaves-and-Vanessa-walks-over-to-Barry.-His-workplace-is-a-mess) VANESSA: You-poor-thing. You-two-have-been-at-this-for-hours! BARRY: Yes #and-Adam-here has-been-a-huge-help. ADAM: --Frosting... --How-many-sugars? -==BARRY== Just-one.-I-try-not to-use-the-competition. -: So-why-are-you-helping-me? VANESSA: Bees-have-good-qualities. -: And-it-takes-my-mind-off-the-shop. -: Instead-of-flowers #people are-giving-balloon-bouquets-now. BARRY: Those-are-great #if-you're-three. VANESSA: And-artificial-flowers. BARRY: --Oh #those-just-get-me-psychotic! VANESSA: --Yeah #me-too. -: BARRY: Bent-stingers #pointless-pollination. ADAM: Bees-must-hate-those-fake-things! -: Nothing-worse than-a-daffodil-that's-had-work-done. -: Maybe-this-could-make-up for-it-a-little-bit. VANESSA: --This-lawsuit's-a-pretty-big-deal. BARRY: --I-guess. ADAM: You-sure-you-want-to-go-through-with-it? BARRY: Am-I-sure?-When-I'm-done-with the-humans #they-won't-be-able -: to-say #'Honey #I'm-home #' without-paying-a-royalty! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-are-watching-the-human-news.-The-camera-shows a-crowd-outside-a-courthouse) NEWS-REPORTER: It's-an-incredible-scene here-in-downtown-Manhattan #: where-the-world-anxiously-waits #because-for-the-first-time-in-history #: we-will-hear-for-ourselves if-a-honeybee-can-actually-speak. (We-are-no-longer-watching-through-a-news-camera) ADAM: What-have-we-gotten-into-here #Barry? BARRY: It's-pretty-big #isn't-it? ADAM== (Looking-at-the-hundreds-of-people-around-the-courthouse) I-can't-believe-how-many-humans don't-work-during-the-day. BARRY: You-think-billion-dollar-multinational food-companies-have-good-lawyers? SECURITY-GUARD: Everybody-needs-to-stay behind-the-barricade. (A-limousine-drives-up-and-a-fat-man #Layton-Montgomery #a-honey-industry owner-gets-out-and-walks-past-Barry) ADAM: --What's-the-matter? BARRY: --I-don't-know #I-just-got-a-chill. (Fast-forward-in-time-and-everyone-is-in-the-court) MONTGOMERY: Well #if-it-isn't-the-bee-team. (To-Honey-Industry-lawyers) You-boys-work-on-this? MAN: All-rise!-The-Honorable Judge-Bumbleton-presiding. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: All-right.-Case-number-4475 #: Superior-Court-of-New-York #Barry-Bee-Benson-v.-the-Honey-Industry -: is-now-in-session. -: Mr.-Montgomery #you're-representing the-five-food-companies-collectively? MONTGOMERY: A-privilege. JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson...-you're-representing all-the-bees-of-the-world? (Everyone-looks-closely #they-are-waiting-to-see-if-a-Bee-can-really-talk) (Barry-makes-several-buzzing-sounds-to-sound-like-a-Bee) BARRY: I'm-kidding.-Yes #Your-Honor #we're-ready-to-proceed. JUDGE-BUMBLBETON: Mr.-Montgomery #your-opening-statement #please. MONTGOMERY: Ladies-and-gentlemen-of-the-jury #: my-grandmother-was-a-simple-woman. -: Born-on-a-farm #she-believed it-was-man's-divine-right -: to-benefit-from-the-bounty of-nature-God-put-before-us. -: If-we-lived-in-the-topsy-turvy-world Mr.-Benson-imagines #: just-think-of-what-would-it-mean. -: I-would-have-to-negotiate with-the-silkworm -: for-the-elastic-in-my-britches! -: Talking-bee! (Montgomery-walks-over-and-looks-closely-at-Barry) -: How-do-we-know-this-isn't-some-sort-of -: holographic-motion-picture-capture Hollywood-wizardry? -: They-could-be-using-laser-beams! -: Robotics!-Ventriloquism! Cloning!-For-all-we-know #: he-could-be-on-steroids! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Benson? BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #there's-no-trickery-here. -: I'm-just-an-ordinary-bee. Honey's-pretty-important-to-me. -: It's-important-to-all-bees. We-invented-it! -: We-make-it.-And-we-protect-it with-our-lives. -: Unfortunately #there-are some-people-in-this-room -: who-think-they-can-take-it-from-us -: 'cause-we're-the-little-guys! I'm-hoping-that #after-this-is-all-over #: you'll-see-how #by-taking-our-honey #you-not-only-take-everything-we-have -: but-everything-we-are! JANET== (To-Martin) I-wish-he'd-dress-like-that all-the-time.-So-nice! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Call-your-first-witness. BARRY: So #Mr.-Klauss-Vanderhayden of-Honey-Farms #big-company-you-have. KLAUSS-VANDERHAYDEN: I-suppose-so. BARRY: I-see-you-also-own Honeyburton-and-Honron! KLAUSS: Yes #they-provide-beekeepers for-our-farms. BARRY: Beekeeper.-I-find-that to-be-a-very-disturbing-term. -: I-don't-imagine-you-employ any-bee-free-ers #do-you? KLAUSS: (Quietly) --No. BARRY: --I-couldn't-hear-you. KLAUSS: --No. BARRY: --No. -: Because-you-don't-free-bees. You-keep-bees.-Not-only-that #: it-seems-you-thought-a-bear-would-be an-appropriate-image-for-a-jar-of-honey. KLAUSS: They're-very-lovable-creatures. -: Yogi-Bear #Fozzie-Bear #Build-A-Bear. BARRY: You-mean-like-this? (The-bear-from-Over-The-Hedge-barges-in-through-the-back-door-and-it-is roaring-and-standing-on-its-hind-legs.-It-is-thrashing-its-claws-and-people are-screaming.-It-is-being-held-back-by-a-guard-who-has-the-bear-on-a chain) -: (Pointing-to-the-roaring-bear) Bears-kill-bees! -: How'd-you-like-his-head-crashing through-your-living-room?! -: Biting-into-your-couch! Spitting-out-your-throw-pillows! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: OK #that's-enough.-Take-him-away. (The-bear-stops-roaring-and-thrashing-and-walks-out) BARRY: So #Mr.-Sting #thank-you-for-being-here. Your-name-intrigues-me. -: --Where-have-I-heard-it-before? MR.-STING: --I-was-with-a-band-called-The-Police. BARRY: But-you've-never-been a-police-officer #have-you? STING: No #I-haven't. BARRY: No #you-haven't.-And-so-here we-have-yet-another-example -: of-bee-culture-casually stolen-by-a-human -: for-nothing-more-than a-prance-about-stage-name. STING: Oh #please. BARRY: Have-you-ever-been-stung #Mr.-Sting? -: Because-I'm-feeling a-little-stung #Sting. -: Or-should-I-say...-Mr.-Gordon-M.-Sumner! MONTGOMERY: That's-not-his-real-name?!-You-idiots! BARRY: Mr.-Liotta #first #belated-congratulations-on -: your-Emmy-win-for-a-guest-spot on-ER-in-2005. RAY-LIOTTA: Thank-you.-Thank-you. BARRY: I-see-from-your-resume that-you're-devilishly-handsome -: with-a-churning-inner-turmoil that's-ready-to-blow. RAY-LIOTTA: I-enjoy-what-I-do.-Is-that-a-crime? BARRY: Not-yet-it-isn't.-But-is-this what-it's-come-to-for-you? -: Exploiting-tiny #helpless-bees so-you-don't -: have-to-rehearse your-part-and-learn-your-lines #sir? RAY-LIOTTA: Watch-it #Benson! I-could-blow-right-now! BARRY: This-isn't-a-goodfella. This-is-a-badfella! (Ray-Liotta-looses-it-and-tries-to-grab-Barry) RAY-LIOTTA: Why-doesn't-someone-just-step-on this-creep #and-we-can-all-go-home?! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: --Order-in-this-court! RAY-LIOTTA: --You're-all-thinking-it! (Judge-Bumbleton-starts-banging-her-gavel) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Order!-Order #I-say! RAY-LIOTTA: --Say-it! MAN: --Mr.-Liotta #please-sit-down! (We-see-a-montage-of-magazines-which-feature-the-court-case) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-back-home-with-Vanessa) BARRY: I-think-it-was-awfully-nice of-that-bear-to-pitch-in-like-that. VANESSA: I-think-the-jury's-on-our-side. BARRY: Are-we-doing-everything-right #you-know #legally? VANESSA: I'm-a-florist. BARRY: Right.-Well #here's-to-a-great-team. VANESSA: To-a-great-team! (Ken-walks-in-from-work.-He-sees-Barry-and-he-looks-upset-when-he-sees Barry-clinking-his-glass-with-Vanessa) KEN: Well #hello. VANESSA: --Oh #Ken! BARRY: --Hello! VANESSA: I-didn't-think-you-were-coming. -: No #I-was-just-late. I-tried-to-call #but... (Ken-holds-up-his-phone-and-flips-it-open.-The-phone-has-no-charge) ...the-battery... VANESSA: I-didn't-want-all-this-to-go-to-waste #so-I-called-Barry.-Luckily #he-was-free. KEN: Oh #that-was-lucky. (Ken-sits-down-at-the-table-across-from-Barry-and-Vanessa-leaves-the-room) VANESSA: There's-a-little-left. I-could-heat-it-up. KEN: (Not-taking-his-eyes-off-Barry) Yeah #heat-it-up #sure #whatever. BARRY: So-I-hear-you're-quite-a-tennis-player. -: I'm-not-much-for-the-game-myself. The-ball's-a-little-grabby. KEN: That's-where-I-usually-sit. Right... (Points-to-where-Barry-is-sitting) there. VANESSA: (Calling-from-other-room) Ken #Barry-was-looking-at-your-resume #: and-he-agreed-with-me-that-eating-with chopsticks-isn't-really-a-special-skill. KEN: (To-Barry) You-think-I-don't-see-what-you're-doing? BARRY: I-know-how-hard-it-is-to-find the-right-job.-We-have-that-in-common. KEN: Do-we? BARRY: Bees-have-100-percent-employment #but-we-do-jobs-like-taking-the-crud-out. KEN: (Menacingly) That's-just-what I-was-thinking-about-doing. (Ken-reaches-for-a-fork-on-the-table-but-knocks-if-on-the-floor.-He-goes-to pick-it-up) VANESSA: Ken #I-let-Barry-borrow-your-razor for-his-fuzz.-I-hope-that-was-all-right. (Ken-quickly-rises-back-up-after-hearing-this-but-hits-his-head-on-the table-and-yells) BARRY: I'm-going-to-drain-the-old-stinger. KEN: Yeah #you-do-that. (Barry-flies-past-Ken-to-get-to-the-bathroom-and-Ken-freaks-out #splashing some-of-the-wine-he-was-using-to-cool-his-head-in-his-eyes.-He-yells-in anger) (Barry-looks-at-the-magazines-featuring-his-victories-in-court) BARRY: Look-at-that. (Barry-flies-into-the-bathroom) (He-puts-his-hand-on-his-head-but-this-makes-hurts-him-and-makes-him-even madder.-He-yells-again) (Barry-is-washing-his-hands-in-the-sink-but-then-Ken-walks-in) KEN: You-know #you-know-I've-just-about-had-it (Closes-bathroom-door-behind-him) with-your-little-mind-games. (Ken-is-menacingly-rolling-up-a-magazine) BARRY: (Backing-away) --What's-that? KEN: --Italian-Vogue. BARRY: Mamma-mia #that's-a-lot-of-pages. KEN: It's-a-lot-of-ads. BARRY: Remember-what-Van-said #why-is your-life-more-valuable-than-mine? KEN: That's-funny #I-just-can't-seem-to-recall-that! (Ken-smashes-everything-off-the-sink-with-the-magazine-and-Barry-narrowly escapes) (Ken-follows-Barry-around-and-tries-to-hit-him-with-the-magazine-but-he keeps-missing) (Ken-gets-a-spray-bottle) -: I-think-something-stinks-in-here! BARRY: (Enjoying-the-spray) I-love-the-smell-of-flowers. (Ken-holds-a-lighter-in-front-of-the-spray-bottle) KEN: How-do-you-like-the-smell-of-flames?! BARRY: Not-as-much. (Ken-fires-his-make-shift-flamethrower-but-misses-Barry #burning-the bathroom.-He-torches-the-whole-room-but-looses-his-footing-and-falls-into the-bathtub.-After-getting-hit-in-the-head-by-falling-objects-3-times-he picks-up-the-shower-head #revealing-a-Water-bug-hiding-under-it) WATER-BUG: Water-bug!-Not-taking-sides! (Barry-gets-up-out-of-a-pile-of-bathroom-supplies-and-he-is-wearing-a chapstick-hat) BARRY: Ken #I'm-wearing-a-Chapstick-hat! This-is-pathetic! (Ken-switches-the-shower-head-to-lethal) KEN: I've-got-issues! (Ken-sprays-Barry-with-the-shower-head-and-he-crash-lands-into-the-toilet) (Ken-menacingly-looks-down-into-the-toilet-at-Barry) Well #well #well #a-royal-flush! BARRY: --You're-bluffing. KEN: --Am-I? (flushes-toilet) (Barry-grabs-a-chapstick-from-the-toilet-seat-and-uses-it-to-surf-in-the flushing-toilet) BARRY: Surf's-up #dude! (Barry-flies-out-of-the-toilet-on-the-chapstick-and-sprays-Ken's-face-with the-toilet-water) -: EW #Poo-water! BARRY: That-bowl-is-gnarly. KEN: (Aiming-a-toilet-cleaner-at-Barry) Except-for-those-dirty-yellow-rings! (Barry-cowers-and-covers-his-head-and-Vanessa-runs-in-and-takes-the-toilet cleaner-from-Ken-just-before-he-hits-Barry) VANESSA: Kenneth!-What-are-you-doing?! KEN== (Leaning-towards-Barry) You-know #I-don't-even-like-honey! I-don't-eat-it! VANESSA: We-need-to-talk! (Vanessa-pulls-Ken-out-of-the-bathroom) -: He's-just-a-little-bee! -: And-he-happens-to-be the-nicest-bee-I've-met-in-a-long-time! KEN: Long-time?-What-are-you-talking-about?! Are-there-other-bugs-in-your-life? VANESSA: No #but-there-are-other-things-bugging me-in-life.-And-you're-one-of-them! KEN: Fine!-Talking-bees #no-yogurt-night... -: My-nerves-are-fried-from-riding on-this-emotional-roller-coaster! VANESSA: Goodbye #Ken. (Ken-huffs-and-walks-out-and-slams-the-door.-But-suddenly-he-walks-back-in and-stares-at-Barry) -: And-for-your-information #I-prefer-sugar-free #artificial sweeteners-MADE-BY-MAN! (Ken-leaves-again-and-Vanessa-leans-in-towards-Barry) VANESSA: I'm-sorry-about-all-that. (Ken-walks-back-in-again) KEN: I-know-it's-got an-aftertaste!-I-LIKE-IT! (Ken-leaves-for-the-last-time) VANESSA: I-always-felt-there-was-some-kind of-barrier-between-Ken-and-me. -: I-couldn't-overcome-it. Oh #well. -: Are-you-OK-for-the-trial? BARRY: I-believe-Mr.-Montgomery is-about-out-of-ideas. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry #Adam #and-Vanessa-are-back-in-court) MONTGOMERY-- We-would-like-to-call Mr.-Barry-Benson-Bee-to-the-stand. ADAM: Good-idea!-You-can-really-see-why-he's considered-one-of-the-best-lawyers... (Barry-stares-at-Adam) ...Yeah. LAWYER: Layton #you've gotta-weave-some-magic with-this-jury #or-it's-gonna-be-all-over. MONTGOMERY: Don't-worry.-The-only-thing-I-have to-do-to-turn-this-jury-around -: is-to-remind-them of-what-they-don't-like-about-bees. (To-lawyer) --You-got-the-tweezers? LAWYER: --Are-you-allergic? MONTGOMERY: Only-to-losing #son.-Only-to-losing. -: Mr.-Benson-Bee #I'll-ask-you what-I-think-we'd-all-like-to-know. -: What-exactly-is-your-relationship (Points-to-Vanessa) -: to-that-woman? BARRY: We're-friends. MONTGOMERY: --Good-friends? BARRY: --Yes. MONTGOMERY: How-good?-Do-you-live-together? ADAM: Wait-a-minute... -: MONTGOMERY: Are-you-her-little... -: ...bedbug? (Adam's-stinger-starts-vibrating.-He-is-agitated) I've-seen-a-bee-documentary-or-two. From-what-I-understand #: doesn't-your-queen-give-birth to-all-the-bee-children? BARRY: --Yeah #but... MONTGOMERY: (Pointing-at-Janet-and-Martin) --So-those-aren't-your-real-parents! JANET: --Oh #Barry... BARRY: --Yes #they-are! ADAM: Hold-me-back! (Vanessa-tries-to-hold-Adam-back.-He-wants-to-sting-Montgomery) MONTGOMERY: You're-an-illegitimate-bee #aren't-you #Benson? ADAM: He's-denouncing-bees! MONTGOMERY: Don't-y'all-date-your-cousins? (Montgomery-leans-over-on-the-jury-stand-and-stares-at-Adam) VANESSA: --Objection! (Vanessa-raises-her-hand-to-object-but-Adam-gets-free.-He-flies-straight-at Montgomery) =ADAM: --I'm-going-to-pincushion-this-guy! BARRY: Adam #don't!-It's-what-he-wants! (Adam-stings-Montgomery-in-the-butt-and-he-starts-thrashing-around) MONTGOMERY: Oh #I'm-hit!! -: Oh #lordy #I-am-hit! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: (Banging-gavel) Order!-Order! MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting) The-venom!-The-venom is-coursing-through-my-veins! -: I-have-been-felled by-a-winged-beast-of-destruction! -: You-see?-You-can't-treat-them like-equals!-They're-striped-savages! -: Stinging's-the-only-thing they-know!-It's-their-way! BARRY: --Adam #stay-with-me. ADAM: --I-can't-feel-my-legs. MONTGOMERY: (Overreacting-and-throwing-his-body-around-the-room) What-angel-of-mercy will-come-forward-to-suck-the-poison -: from-my-heaving-buttocks? JUDGE-BUMLBETON: I-will-have-order-in-this-court.-Order! -: Order #please! (Flash-forward-in-time-and-we-see-a-human-news-reporter) NEWS-REPORTER: The-case-of-the-honeybees versus-the-human-race -: took-a-pointed-turn-against-the-bees -: yesterday-when-one-of-their-legal team-stung-Layton-T.-Montgomery. (Adam-is-laying-in-a-hospital-bed-and-Barry-flies-in-to-see-him) BARRY: --Hey #buddy. ADAM: --Hey. BARRY: --Is-there-much-pain? ADAM: --Yeah. -: I... -: I-blew-the-whole-case #didn't-I? BARRY: It-doesn't-matter.-What-matters-is you're-alive.-You-could-have-died. ADAM: I'd-be-better-off-dead.-Look-at-me. (A-small-plastic-sword-is-replaced-as-Adam's-stinger) They-got-it-from-the-cafeteria downstairs #in-a-tuna-sandwich. -: Look #there's a-little-celery-still-on-it. (Flicks-off-the-celery-and-sighs) BARRY: What-was-it-like-to-sting-someone? ADAM: I-can't-explain-it.-It-was-all... -: All-adrenaline-and-then... and-then-ecstasy! BARRY: ...All-right. ADAM: You-think-it-was-all-a-trap? BARRY: Of-course.-I'm-sorry. I-flew-us-right-into-this. -: What-were-we-thinking?-Look-at-us.-We're just-a-couple-of-bugs-in-this-world. ADAM: What-will-the-humans-do-to-us if-they-win? BARRY: I-don't-know. ADAM: I-hear-they-put-the-roaches-in-motels. That-doesn't-sound-so-bad. BARRY: Adam #they-check-in #but-they-don't-check-out! ADAM: Oh #my. (Coughs) Could-you-get-a-nurse to-close-that-window? BARRY: --Why? ADAM: --The-smoke. (We-can-see-that-two-humans-are-smoking-cigarettes-outside) -: Bees-don't-smoke. BARRY: Right.-Bees-don't-smoke. -: Bees-don't-smoke! But-some-bees-are-smoking. -: That's-it!-That's-our-case! ADAM: It-is?-It's-not-over? BARRY: Get-dressed.-I've-gotta-go-somewhere. -: Get-back-to-the-court-and-stall. Stall-any-way-you-can. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Adam-is-making-a-paper-boat-in-the-courtroom) ADAM: And-assuming-you've-done-step-29-correctly #you're-ready-for-the-tub! (We-see-that-the-jury-have-each-made-their-own-paper-boats-after-being taught-how-by-Adam.-They-all-look-confused) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman. ADAM: Yes?-Yes #Your-Honor! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Where-is-the-rest-of-your-team? ADAM: (Continues-stalling) Well #Your-Honor #it's-interesting. -: Bees-are-trained-to-fly-haphazardly #: and-as-a-result #we-don't-make-very-good-time. -: I-actually-heard-a-funny-story-about... MONTGOMERY: Your-Honor #haven't-these-ridiculous-bugs -: taken-up-enough of-this-court's-valuable-time? -: How-much-longer-will-we-allow these-absurd-shenanigans-to-go-on? -: They-have-presented-no-compelling evidence-to-support-their-charges -: against-my-clients #who-run-legitimate-businesses. -: I-move-for-a-complete-dismissal of-this-entire-case! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: Mr.-Flayman #I'm-afraid-I'm-going -: to-have-to-consider Mr.-Montgomery's-motion. ADAM: But-you-can't!-We-have-a-terrific-case. MONTGOMERY: Where-is-your-proof? Where-is-the-evidence? -: Show-me-the-smoking-gun! BARRY: (Barry-flies-in-through-the-door) Hold-it #Your-Honor! You-want-a-smoking-gun? -: Here-is-your-smoking-gun. (Vanessa-walks-in-holding-a-bee-smoker.-She-sets-it-down-on-the-Judge's podium) JUDGE-BUMBLETON: What-is-that? BARRY: It's-a-bee-smoker! MONTGOMERY: (Picks-up-smoker) What #this? This-harmless-little-contraption? -: This-couldn't-hurt-a-fly #let-alone-a-bee. (Montgomery-accidentally-fires-it-at-the-bees-in-the-crowd-and-they-faint and-cough) (Dozens-of-reporters-start-taking-pictures-of-the-suffering-bees) BARRY: Look-at-what-has-happened -: to-bees-who-have-never-been-asked #'Smoking-or-non?' -: Is-this-what-nature-intended-for-us? -: To-be-forcibly-addicted to-smoke-machines -: and-man-made-wooden-slat-work-camps? -: Living-out-our-lives-as-honey-slaves to-the-white-man? (Barry-points-to-the-honey-industry-owners.-One-of-them-is-an-African American-so-he-awkwardly-separates-himself-from-the-others) LAWYER: --What-are-we-gonna-do? --He's-playing-the-species-card. BARRY: Ladies-and-gentlemen #please #free-these-bees! ADAM-AND-VANESSA: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! BEES-IN-CROWD: Free-the-bees! HUMAN-JURY: Free-the-bees!-Free-the-bees! JUDGE-BUMBLETON: The-court-finds-in-favor-of-the-bees! BARRY: Vanessa #we-won! VANESSA: I-knew-you-could-do-it!-High-five! (Vanessa-hits-Barry-hard-because-her-hand-is-too-big) -: Sorry. BARRY: (Overjoyed) I'm-OK!-You-know-what-this-means? -: All-the-honey will-finally-belong-to-the-bees. -: Now-we-won't-have to-work-so-hard-all-the-time. MONTGOMERY: This-is-an-unholy-perversion of-the-balance-of-nature #Benson. -: You'll-regret-this. (Montgomery-leaves-and-Barry-goes-outside-the-courtroom.-Several-reporters start-asking-Barry-questions) REPORTER-1#: Barry #how-much-honey-is-out-there? BARRY: All-right.-One-at-a-time. REPORTER-2#: Barry #who-are-you-wearing? BARRY: My-sweater-is-Ralph-Lauren #and-I-have-no-pants. (Barry-flies-outside-with-the-paparazzi-and-Adam-and-Vanessa-stay-back) ADAM: (To-Vanessa) --What-if-Montgomery's-right? Vanessa: --What-do-you-mean? ADAM: We've-been-living-the-bee-way a-long-time #27-million-years. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-a-man) BUSINESS-MAN: Congratulations-on-your-victory. What-will-you-demand-as-a-settlement? BARRY: First #we'll-demand-a-complete-shutdown of-all-bee-work-camps. (As-Barry-is-talking-we-see-a-montage-of-men-putting-'closed'-tape-over-the work-camps-and-freeing-the-bees-in-the-crappy-apartments) Then-we-want-back-the-honey that-was-ours-to-begin-with #: every-last-drop. (Men-in-suits-are-pushing-all-the-honey-of-the-aisle-and-into-carts) We-demand-an-end-to-the-glorification of-the-bear-as-anything-more (We-see-a-statue-of-a-bear-shaped-honey-container-being-pulled-down-by bees) than-a-filthy #smelly #bad-breath-stink-machine. -: We're-all-aware of-what-they-do-in-the-woods. (We-see-Winnie-the-Pooh-sharing-his-honey-with-Piglet-in-the-cross-hairs-of a-high-tech-sniper-rifle) BARRY: (Looking-through-binoculars) Wait-for-my-signal. -: Take-him-out. (Winnie-gets-hit-by-a-tranquilizer-dart-and-dramatically-falls-off-the-log he-was-standing-on #his-tongue-hanging-out.-Piglet-looks-at-Pooh-in-fear and-the-Sniper-takes-the-honey.) SNIPER: He'll-have-nausea for-a-few-hours #then-he'll-be-fine. (Flash-forward-in-time) BARRY: And-we-will-no-longer-tolerate bee-negative-nicknames... (Mr.-Sting-is-sitting-at-home-until-he-is-taken-out-of-his-house-by-the-men in-suits) STING: But-it's-just-a-prance-about-stage-name! BARRY: ...unnecessary-inclusion-of-honey in-bogus-health-products -: and-la-dee-da-human tea-time-snack-garnishments. (An-old-lady-is-mixing-honey-into-her-tea-but-suddenly-men-in-suits-smash her-face-down-on-the-table-and-take-the-honey) OLD-LADY: Can't-breathe. (A-honey-truck-pulls-up-to-Barry's-hive) WORKER: Bring-it-in #boys! -: Hold-it-right-there!-Good. -: Tap-it. (Tons-of-honey-is-being-pumped-into-the-hive's-storage) BEE-WORKER-1#: (Honey-overflows-from-the-cup) Mr.-Buzzwell #we-just-passed-three-cups #and-there's-gallons-more-coming! -: --I-think-we-need-to-shut-down! =BEE-WORKER-#2= --Shut-down?-We've-never-shut-down. -: Shut-down-honey-production! DEAN-BUZZWELL: Stop-making-honey! (The-bees-all-leave-their-stations.-Two-bees-run-into-a-room-and-they-put the-keys-into-a-machine) Turn-your-key #sir! (Two-worker-bees-dramatically-turn-their-keys #which-opens-the-button-which they-press #shutting-down-the-honey-making-machines.-This-is-the-first-time this-has-ever-happened) BEE: ...What-do-we-do-now? (Flash-forward-in-time-and-a-Bee-is-about-to-jump-into-a-pool-full-of honey) Cannonball! (The-bee-gets-stuck-in-the-honey-and-we-get-a-short-montage-of-Bees-leaving work) (We-see-the-Pollen-Jocks-flying-but-one-of-them-gets-a-call-on-his-antenna) LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') We're-shutting-honey-production! -: Mission-abort. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Aborting-pollination-and-nectar-detail. Returning-to-base. (The-Pollen-Jocks-fly-back-to-the-hive) (We-get-a-time-lapse-of-Central-Park-slowly-wilting-away-as-the-bees-all relax) BARRY: Adam #you-wouldn't-believe how-much-honey-was-out-there. ADAM: Oh #yeah? BARRY: What's-going-on?-Where-is-everybody? (The-entire-street-is-deserted) -: --Are-they-out-celebrating? ADAM: --They're-home. -: They-don't-know-what-to-do. Laying-out #sleeping-in. -: I-heard-your-Uncle-Carl-was-on-his-way to-San-Antonio-with-a-cricket. BARRY: At-least-we-got-our-honey-back. ADAM: Sometimes-I-think #so-what-if-humans liked-our-honey?-Who-wouldn't? -: It's-the-greatest-thing-in-the-world! I-was-excited-to-be-part-of-making-it. -: This-was-my-new-desk.-This-was-my new-job.-I-wanted-to-do-it-really-well. -: And-now... -: Now-I-can't. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-is-talking-to-Vanessa) BARRY: I-don't-understand why-they're-not-happy. -: I-thought-their-lives-would-be-better! -: They're-doing-nothing.-It's-amazing. Honey-really-changes-people. VANESSA: You-don't-have-any-idea what's-going-on #do-you? BARRY: --What-did-you-want-to-show-me? (Vanessa-takes-Barry-to-the-rooftop-where-they-first-had-coffee-and-points to-her-store) VANESSA: --This. (Points-at-her-flowers.-They-are-all-grey-and-wilting) BARRY: What-happened-here? VANESSA: That-is-not-the-half-of-it. (Small-flash-forward-in-time-and-Vanessa-and-Barry-are-on-the-roof-of-her store-and-she-points-to-Central-Park) (We-see-that-Central-Park-is-no-longer-green-and-colorful #rather-it-is grey #brown #and-dead-like.-It-is-very-depressing-to-look-at) BARRY: Oh #no.-Oh #my. -: They're-all-wilting. VANESSA: Doesn't-look-very-good #does-it? BARRY: No. VANESSA: And-whose-fault-do-you-think-that-is? BARRY: You-know #I'm-gonna-guess-bees. VANESSA== (Staring-at-Barry) Bees? BARRY: Specifically #me. -: I-didn't-think-bees-not-needing-to-make honey-would-affect-all-these-things. VANESSA: It's-not-just-flowers. Fruits #vegetables #they-all-need-bees. BARRY: That's-our-whole-SAT-test-right-there. VANESSA: Take-away-produce #that-affects the-entire-animal-kingdom. -: And-then #of-course... BARRY: The-human-species? -: So-if-there's-no-more-pollination #: it-could-all-just-go-south-here #couldn't-it? VANESSA: I-know-this-is-also-partly-my-fault. BARRY: How-about-a-suicide-pact? VANESSA: How-do-we-do-it? BARRY: --I'll-sting-you #you-step-on-me. VANESSA: --That-just-kills-you-twice. BARRY: Right #right. VANESSA: Listen #Barry... sorry #but-I-gotta-get-going. (Vanessa-leaves) BARRY: (To-himself) I-had-to-open-my-mouth-and-talk. -: Vanessa? -: Vanessa?-Why-are-you-leaving? Where-are-you-going? (Vanessa-is-getting-into-a-taxi) VANESSA: To-the-final-Tournament-of-Roses-parade in-Pasadena. -: They've-moved-it-to-this-weekend because-all-the-flowers-are-dying. -: It's-the-last-chance I'll-ever-have-to-see-it. BARRY: Vanessa #I-just-wanna-say-I'm-sorry. I-never-meant-it-to-turn-out-like-this. VANESSA: I-know.-Me-neither. (The-taxi-starts-to-drive-away) BARRY: Tournament-of-Roses. Roses-can't-do-sports. -: Wait-a-minute.-Roses.-Roses? -: Roses! -: Vanessa! (Barry-flies-after-the-Taxi) VANESSA: Roses?! -: Barry? (Barry-is-flying-outside-the-window-of-the-taxi) BARRY: --Roses-are-flowers! VANESSA: --Yes #they-are. BARRY: Flowers #bees #pollen! VANESSA: I-know. That's-why-this-is-the-last-parade. BARRY: Maybe-not. Could-you-ask-him-to-slow-down? VANESSA: Could-you-slow-down? (The-taxi-driver-screeches-to-a-stop-and-Barry-keeps-flying-forward) -: Barry! (Barry-flies-back-to-the-window) BARRY: OK #I-made-a-huge-mistake. This-is-a-total-disaster #all-my-fault. VANESSA: Yes #it-kind-of-is. BARRY: I've-ruined-the-planet. I-wanted-to-help-you -: with-the-flower-shop. I've-made-it-worse. VANESSA: Actually #it's-completely-closed-down. BARRY: I-thought-maybe-you-were-remodeling. -: But-I-have-another-idea #and-it's greater-than-my-previous-ideas-combined. VANESSA: I-don't-want-to-hear-it! BARRY: All-right #they-have-the-roses #the-roses-have-the-pollen. -: I-know-every-bee #plant and-flower-bud-in-this-park. -: All-we-gotta-do-is-get-what-they've-got back-here-with-what-we've-got. -: --Bees. VANESSA: --Park. BARRY: --Pollen! VANESSA: --Flowers. BARRY: --Re-pollination! VANESSA: --Across-the-nation! -: Tournament-of-Roses #Pasadena #California. -: They've-got-nothing but-flowers #floats-and-cotton-candy. -: Security-will-be-tight. BARRY: I-have-an-idea. (Flash-forward-in-time.-Vanessa-is-about-to-board-a-plane-which-has-all-the Roses-on-board. VANESSA: Vanessa-Bloome #FTD. (Holds-out-badge) -: Official-floral-business.-It's-real. SECURITY-GUARD: Sorry #ma'am.-Nice-brooch. =VANESSA== Thank-you.-It-was-a-gift. (Barry-is-revealed-to-be-hiding-inside-the-brooch) (Flash-back-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-discussing-their-plan) BARRY: Once-inside #we-just-pick-the-right-float. VANESSA: How-about-The-Princess-and-the-Pea? -: I-could-be-the-princess #and-you-could-be-the-pea! BARRY: Yes #I-got-it. -: --Where-should-I-sit? GUARD: --What-are-you? BARRY: --I-believe-I'm-the-pea. GUARD: --The-pea? VANESSA: It-goes-under-the-mattresses. GUARD: --Not-in-this-fairy-tale #sweetheart. --I'm-getting-the-marshal. VANESSA: You-do-that! This-whole-parade-is-a-fiasco! -: Let's-see-what-this-baby'll-do. (Vanessa-drives-the-float-through-traffic) GUARD: Hey #what-are-you-doing?! BARRY== Then-all-we-do is-blend-in-with-traffic... -: ...without-arousing-suspicion. -: Once-at-the-airport #there's-no-stopping-us. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-about-to-get-on-a-plane) SECURITY-GUARD: Stop!-Security. -: --You-and-your-insect-pack-your-float? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Has-it-been in-your-possession-the-entire-time? VANESSA: --Yes. SECURITY-GUARD: Would-you-remove-your-shoes? (To-Barry) --Remove-your-stinger. BARRY: --It's-part-of-me. SECURITY-GUARD: I-know.-Just-having-some-fun. Enjoy-your-flight. (Barry-plotting-with-Vanessa) BARRY: Then-if-we're-lucky #we'll-have just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job. (Flash-forward-in-time-and-Barry-and-Vanessa-are-flying-on-the-plane) Can-you-believe-how-lucky-we-are?-We have-just-enough-pollen-to-do-the-job! VANESSA: I-think-this-is-gonna-work. BARRY: It's-got-to-work. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: (On-intercom) Attention #passengers #this-is-Captain-Scott. -: We-have-a-bit-of-bad-weather in-New-York. -: It-looks-like-we'll-experience a-couple-hours-delay. VANESSA: Barry #these-are-cut-flowers with-no-water.-They'll-never-make-it. BARRY: I-gotta-get-up-there and-talk-to-them. VANESSA== Be-careful. (Barry-flies-right-outside-the-cockpit-door) BARRY: Can-I-get-help with-the-Sky-Mall-magazine? I'd-like-to-order-the-talking inflatable-nose-and-ear-hair-trimmer. (The-flight-attendant-opens-the-door-and-walks-out-and-Barry-flies-into-the cockpit-unseen) BARRY: Captain #I'm-in-a-real-situation. CAPTAIN-SCOTT: --What'd-you-say #Hal? CO-PILOT-HAL: --Nothing. (Scott-notices-Barry-and-freaks-out) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Bee! BARRY: No #no #no #Don't-freak-out!-My-entire-species... (Captain-Scott-gets-out-of-his-seat-and-tries-to-suck-Barry-into-a-handheld vacuum) HAL: (To-Scott) What-are-you-doing? (Barry-lands-on-Hals-hair-but-Scott-sees-him.-He-tries-to-suck-up-Barry-but instead-he-sucks-up-Hals-toupee) CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Uh-oh. BARRY: --Wait-a-minute!-I'm-an-attorney! HAL: (Hal-doesn't-know-Barry-is-on-his-head) --Who's-an-attorney? CAPTAIN-SCOTT: Don't-move. (Scott-hits-Hal-in-the-face-with-the-vacuum-in-an-attempt-to-hit-Barry.-Hal is-knocked-out-and-he-falls-on-the-life-raft-button-which-launches-an infalatable-boat-into-Scott #who-gets-knocked-out-and-falls-to-the-floor. They-are-both-uncounscious.) BARRY: (To-himself) Oh #Barry. BARRY: (On-intercom #with-a-Southern-accent) Good-afternoon #passengers. This-is-your-captain. -: Would-a-Miss-Vanessa-Bloome-in-24B please-report-to-the-cockpit? (Vanessa-looks-confused) (Normal-accent) ...And-please-hurry! (Vanessa-opens-the-door-and-sees-the-life-raft-and-the-uncounscious-pilots) VANESSA: What-happened-here? BARRY: I-tried-to-talk-to-them #but then-there-was-a-DustBuster #a-toupee #a-life-raft-exploded. -: Now-one's-bald #one's-in-a-boat #and-they're-both-unconscious! VANESSA: ...Is-that-another-bee-joke? BARRY: --No! -: No-one's-flying-the-plane! BUD-DITCHWATER: (Through-radio-on-plane) This-is-JFK-control-tower #Flight-356. What's-your-status? VANESSA: This-is-Vanessa-Bloome. I'm-a-florist-from-New-York. BUD: Where's-the-pilot? VANESSA: He's-unconscious #and-so-is-the-copilot. BUD: Not-good.-Does-anyone-onboard have-flight-experience? BARRY: As-a-matter-of-fact #there-is. BUD: --Who's-that? BARRY: --Barry-Benson. BUD: From-the-honey-trial?!-Oh #great. BARRY: Vanessa #this-is-nothing-more than-a-big-metal-bee. -: It's-got-giant-wings #huge-engines. VANESSA: I-can't-fly-a-plane. BARRY: --Why-not?-Isn't-John-Travolta-a-pilot? VANESSA: --Yes. BARRY: How-hard-could-it-be? (Vanessa-sits-down-and-flies-for-a-little-bit-but-we-see-lightning-clouds outside-the-window) VANESSA: Wait #Barry! We're-headed-into-some-lightning. (An-ominous-lightning-storm-looms-in-front-of-the-plane) (We-are-now-watching-the-Bee-News) BOB-BUMBLE: This-is-Bob-Bumble.-We-have-some late-breaking-news-from-JFK-Airport #: where-a-suspenseful-scene is-developing. -: Barry-Benson #fresh-from-his-legal-victory... ADAM: That's-Barry! BOB-BUMBLE: ...is-attempting-to-land-a-plane #loaded-with-people #flowers -: and-an-incapacitated-flight-crew. JANET #MARTIN #UNCLE-CAR-AND-ADAM: Flowers?! (The-scene-switches-to-the-human-news) REPORTER: (Talking-with-Bob-Bumble) We-have-a-storm-in-the-area and-two-individuals-at-the-controls -: with-absolutely-no-flight-experience. BOB-BUMBLE: Just-a-minute. There's-a-bee-on-that-plane. BUD: I'm-quite-familiar-with-Mr.-Benson and-his-no-account-compadres. -: They've-done-enough-damage. REPORTER: But-isn't-he-your-only-hope? BUD: Technically #a-bee shouldn't-be-able-to-fly-at-all. -: Their-wings-are-too-small... BARRY: (Through-radio) Haven't-we-heard-this-a-million-times? -: 'The-surface-area-of-the-wings and-body-mass-make-no-sense.'... BOB-BUMBLE: --Get-this-on-the-air! BEE: --Got-it. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --Stand-by. BEE-NEWS-CREW: --We're-going-live! BARRY: (Through-radio-on-TV) ...The-way-we-work-may-be-a-mystery-to-you. -: Making-honey-takes-a-lot-of-bees doing-a-lot-of-small-jobs. -: But-let-me-tell-you-about-a-small-job. -: If-you-do-it-well #it-makes-a-big-difference. -: More-than-we-realized. To-us #to-everyone. -: That's-why-I-want-to-get-bees back-to-working-together. -: That's-the-bee-way! We're-not-made-of-Jell-O. -: We-get-behind-a-fellow. -: --Black-and-yellow! BEES: --Hello! (The-scene-switches-and-Barry-is-teaching-Vanessa-how-to-fly) BARRY: Left #right #down #hover. VANESSA: --Hover? BARRY: --Forget-hover. VANESSA: This-isn't-so-hard. (Pretending-to-honk-the-horn) Beep-beep!-Beep-beep! (A-Lightning-bolt-hits-the-plane-and-autopilot-turns-off) Barry #what-happened?! BARRY: Wait #I-think-we-were on-autopilot-the-whole-time. VANESSA: --That-may-have-been-helping-me. BARRY: --And-now-we're-not! VANESSA: So-it-turns-out-I-cannot-fly-a-plane. (The-plane-plummets-but-we-see-Lou-Lu-Duva-and-the-Pollen-Jocks #along-with multiple-other-bees-flying-towards-the-plane) Lou-Lu-DUva: All-of-you #let's-get behind-this-fellow!-Move-it-out! -: Move-out! (The-scene-switches-back-to-Vanessa-and-Barry-in-the-plane) BARRY: Our-only-chance-is-if-I-do-what-I'd-do #you-copy-me-with-the-wings-of-the-plane! (Barry-sticks-out-his-arms-like-an-airplane-and-flys-in-front-of-Vanessa's face) VANESSA: Don't-have-to-yell. BARRY: I'm-not-yelling! We're-in-a-lot-of-trouble. VANESSA: It's-very-hard-to-concentrate with-that-panicky-tone-in-your-voice! BARRY: It's-not-a-tone.-I'm-panicking! VANESSA: I-can't-do-this! (Barry-slaps-Vanessa) BARRY: Vanessa #pull-yourself-together. You-have-to-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: (Slaps-Barry) You-snap-out-of-it. BARRY: (Slaps-Vanessa) -: You-snap-out-of-it. VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! (We-see-that-all-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-under-the-plane) VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --You-snap-out-of-it! BARRY: --You-snap-out-of-it! VANESSA: --Hold-it! BARRY: --Why?-Come-on #it's-my-turn. VANESSA: How-is-the-plane-flying? (The-plane-is-now-safely-flying) VANESSA: I-don't-know. (Barry's-antennae-rings-like-a-phone.-Barry-picks-up) BARRY: Hello? LOU-LU-DUVA: (Through-'phone') Benson #got-any-flowers for-a-happy-occasion-in-there? (All-of-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-carrying-the-plane) BARRY: The-Pollen-Jocks! -: They-do-get-behind-a-fellow. LOU-LU-DUVA: --Black-and-yellow. POLLEN-JOCKS: --Hello. LOU-LU-DUVA: All-right #let's-drop-this-tin-can on-the-blacktop. BARRY: Where?-I-can't-see-anything.-Can-you? VANESSA: No #nothing.-It's-all-cloudy. -: Come-on.-You-got-to-think-bee #Barry. BARRY: --Thinking-bee. --Thinking-bee. (On-the-runway-there-are-millions-of-bees-laying-on-their-backs) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: Wait-a-minute. I-think-I'm-feeling-something. VANESSA: --What? BARRY: --I-don't-know.-It's-strong #pulling-me. -: Like-a-27-million-year-old-instinct. -: Bring-the-nose-down. BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! CONTROL-TOWER-OPERATOR: --What-in-the-world-is-on-the-tarmac? BUD: --Get-some-lights-on-that! (It-is-revealed-that-all-the-bees-are-organized-into-a-giant-pulsating flower-formation) BEES: Thinking-bee! Thinking-bee!-Thinking-bee! BARRY: --Vanessa #aim-for-the-flower. VANESSA: --OK. BARRY: Out-the-engines.-We're-going-in on-bee-power.-Ready #boys? LOU-LU-DUVA: Affirmative! BARRY: Good.-Good.-Easy #now.-That's-it. -: Land-on-that-flower! -: Ready?-Full-reverse! -: Spin-it-around! (The-plane's-nose-is-pointed-at-a-flower-painted-on-a-nearby-plane) --Not-that-flower!-The-other-one! VANESSA: --Which-one? BARRY: --That-flower. (The-plane-is-now-pointed-at-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt.-He-freaks-out and-tries-to-take-a-picture-of-the-plane) VANESSA: --I'm-aiming-at-the-flower! BARRY: That's-a-fat-guy-in-a-flowered-shirt. I-mean-the-giant-pulsating-flower made-of-millions-of-bees! (The-plane-hovers-over-the-bee-flower) -: Pull-forward.-Nose-down.-Tail-up. -: Rotate-around-it. VANESSA: --This-is-insane #Barry! BARRY: --This's-the-only-way-I-know-how-to-fly. BUD: Am-I-koo-koo-kachoo #or-is-this-plane flying-in-an-insect-like-pattern? (The-plane-is-unrealistically-hovering-and-spinning-over-the-bee-flower) BARRY: Get-your-nose-in-there.-Don't-be-afraid. Smell-it.-Full-reverse! -: Just-drop-it.-Be-a-part-of-it. -: Aim-for-the-center! -: Now-drop-it-in!-Drop-it-in #woman! -: Come-on #already. (The-bees-scatter-and-the-plane-safely-lands) VANESSA: Barry #we-did-it! You-taught-me-how-to-fly! BARRY: --Yes! (Vanessa-is-about-to-high-five-Barry) No-high-five! VANESSA: --Right. ADAM: Barry #it-worked! Did-you-see-the-giant-flower? BARRY: What-giant-flower?-Where?-Of-course I-saw-the-flower!-That-was-genius! ADAM: --Thank-you. BARRY: --But-we're-not-done-yet. -: Listen #everyone! -: This-runway-is-covered with-the-last-pollen -: from-the-last-flowers available-anywhere-on-Earth. -: That-means-this-is-our-last-chance. -: We're-the-only-ones-who-make-honey #pollinate-flowers-and-dress-like-this. -: If-we're-gonna-survive-as-a-species #this-is-our-moment!-What-do-you-say? -: Are-we-going-to-be-bees #or-just Museum-of-Natural-History-keychains? BEES: We're-bees! BEE-WHO-LIKES-KEYCHAINS: Keychain! BARRY: Then-follow-me!-Except-Keychain. POLLEN-JOCK-#1: Hold-on #Barry.-Here. -: You've-earned-this. BARRY: Yeah! -: I'm-a-Pollen-Jock!-And-it's-a-perfect fit.-All-I-gotta-do-are-the-sleeves. (The-Pollen-Jocks-throw-Barry-a-nectar-collecting-gun.-Barry-catches-it) Oh #yeah. JANET: That's-our-Barry. (Barry-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-get-pollen-from-the-flowers-on-the-plane) (Flash-forward-in-time-and-the-Pollen-Jocks-are-flying-over-NYC) -: (Barry-pollinates-the-flowers-in-Vanessa's-shop-and-then-heads-to-Central Park) BOY-IN-PARK: Mom!-The-bees-are-back! ADAM: (Putting-on-his-Krelman-hat) If-anybody-needs to-make-a-call #now's-the-time. -: I-got-a-feeling-we'll-be working-late-tonight! (The-bee-honey-factories-are-back-up-and-running) (Meanwhile-at-Vanessa's-shop) VANESSA: (To-customer) Here's-your-change.-Have-a-great afternoon!-Can-I-help-who's-next? -: Would-you-like-some-honey-with-that? It-is-bee-approved.-Don't-forget-these. (There-is-a-room-in-the-shop-where-Barry-does-legal-work-for-other-animals. He-is-currently-talking-with-a-Cow) COW: Milk #cream #cheese #it's-all-me. And-I-don't-see-a-nickel! -: Sometimes-I-just-feel like-a-piece-of-meat! BARRY: I-had-no-idea. VANESSA: Barry #I'm-sorry. Have-you-got-a-moment? BARRY: Would-you-excuse-me? My-mosquito-associate-will-help-you. MOOSEBLOOD: Sorry-I'm-late. COW: He's-a-lawyer-too? MOOSEBLOOD: Ma'am #I-was-already-a-blood-sucking-parasite. All-I-needed-was-a-briefcase. VANESSA: Have-a-great-afternoon! -: Barry #I-just-got-this-huge-tulip-order #and-I-can't-get-them-anywhere. BARRY: No-problem #Vannie. Just-leave-it-to-me. VANESSA: You're-a-lifesaver #Barry. Can-I-help-who's-next? BARRY: All-right #scramble #jocks! It's-time-to-fly. VANESSA: Thank-you #Barry! (Ken-walks-by-on-the-sidewalk-and-sees-the-'bee-approved-honey'-in Vanessa's-shop) KEN: That-bee-is-living-my-life!! ANDY: Let-it-go #Kenny. KEN: --When-will-this-nightmare-end?! ANDY: --Let-it-all-go. BARRY: --Beautiful-day-to-fly. POLLEN-JOCK: --Sure-is. BARRY: Between-you-and-me #I-was-dying-to-get-out-of-that-office. (Barry-recreates-the-scene-near-the-beginning-of-the-movie-where-he-flies through-the-box-kite.-The-movie-fades-to-black-and-the-credits-being) [--after-credits;-No-scene-can-be-seen-but-the-characters-can-be-heard talking-over-the-credits--] You-have-got to-start-thinking-bee #my-friend! -: --Thinking-bee! --Me? BARRY: (Talking-over-singer) Hold-it.-Let's-just-stop for-a-second.-Hold-it. -: I'm-sorry.-I'm-sorry #everyone. Can-we-stop-here? SINGER: Oh #BarryBARRY: I'm-not-making-a-major-life-decision during-a-production-number! SINGER: All-right.-Take-ten #everybody. Wrap-it-up #guys. BARRY: I-had-virtually-no-rehearsal-for-that.#scriptscombeemoviebyjerryseinfeldnarratorblackscreenwithtextthesoundofbuzzingbeescanbeheardaccordingtoallknownlawsofaviation #thereisnowayabeeshouldbeabletoflyitswingsaretoosmalltogetitsfatlittlebodyoffthegroundthebee #ofcourse #fliesanywaybecausebeesdontcarewhathumansthinkisimpossiblebarrybensonbarryispickingoutashirtyellow #blackyellow #blackooh -
Tyme’s and Killjoy’s Top Ten(ish) of 2025 By Steel DruhmTyme
I’ve spent much of my 2025 thinking about privilege. Not in the sense that the media has conditioned me, or us, to think about it, but in a way that I’ve employed to shift some of the mundane aspects of life onto their respective heads. For instance, it’s a privilege to look in my closet and have to decide what to wear each day. It’s a privilege to look in my kitchen pantry to figure out what I’ll eat for breakfast or, better yet, which coffee cup I’ll drink from. I could go on, but there’s a word limit to these intros. Suffice to say, I really tried to dwell on my blessings rather than my challenges this year.
And despite the blessings of my professional life, which bestowed upon me the incredible privilege of being really fucking busy for the last “whatever” number of months, I’ve been equally, yet much less facetiously, blessed in my personal endeavors as well. For, in addition to having a bountiful roof over my head, a vehicle to get me back and forth to my extremely privileged job, a dog I can honestly say I will have NO idea how to say goodbye to if I don’t go first, and a wife that, despite the ups and downs of a normal, healthy marriage, continues to love me, I have the distinct privilege of contributing my trve opinions on all things musically heavy, or adjacently heavy, here on the best heavy metal blog in the world! And now comes the part where I give thanks.
Thank you, first and foremost, to everyone who reads this blog every day. Without you, none of this would be worth doing. At least for me, who read, lurked, and commented for years before working up the courage to actually apply for this subservient existence. Thank you to this newest crop of freshly demoted n00bs and to my list mate Killjoy and the rest of the Freezer Freaks Crew—Alekhines Gun, Owlswald, and Clarkkent1—who, through perseverance and a buttload of patience, managed to survive nearly two years on ice to land in the crosshairs of the commentariat’s adverse, and always wrong, opinions.2,3 Thanks as well, to ALL the senior staff who are way nicer than they’d have you believe,4 except Grier, who’s even nicer than everyone else. And finally, the editors, the man himself, Dr. AMG, for seeing enough in me to bring me over, and Steel, who runs the tightest, most compassionate ship I’ve ever had the privilege of sailing on. Thanks, boss!
Now! To the LIST!!!
#ish. Antinoë // The Fold – When I snagged this late-year gem back in November, I had no idea it would have me shuffling my list. With a little more time, I’m sure it would have moved up the ladder, but as it stands, Antinoë grabbed my (ish) spot easily. With little to no instrumentation beyond her piano, Teresa Marraco crafted something so beautiful in its basic-ness that I was entranced. Her delicate melodies evoke vibes that are as much Darkher or Tori Amos5 as they are Emperor or Dimmu Borgir, and I am definitely here for it.
#10. King Witch // III – In a year when Messa released a new album as well, the fact that King Witch is sitting on my year-end proper list and not Sara Bianchin and company speaks volumes about the job Laura Donnelly, Jamie Gilchrist, and Rory Lee did on III. Whether crooning over wispy acoustics or belting out doomily powerful tones over rock-heavy riffs, Donnelly is the star of the show, and her performance had me swooning. From the minute I first heard “Suffer in Life” with its swing-heavy riffs and killer vocals, I was happy to take King Witch’s III for a spin over and over, and it’s been part of my regular rotation since summer.
#9. Imperishable // Revelation in Purity – As the year wore on, I became increasingly sure that I may have underrated Imperishable’s Revelation in Purity. In fact, I found myself returning to it several times, forgoing subsequent spins of albums I’d rated higher. With their Nile and Olkoth pedigree, Imperishable’s expert blend of blackened death metal hit an overtly swirling sweet spot for me. The songwriting on Revelation in Purity, while not groundbreaking, is expertly executed, rendering its quality undeniable. And when you toss in those very Alice in Chains-like grunge passages, akin to a cherry on top, it was easy for me to put Revelation in Purity on my year-end list.
#8. Mutagenic Host // The Diseased Machine – Mutagenic Host’s The Diseased Machine was the first album I successfully coveted and secured from the sump pit alllll the way back in January of this year. As a freshly demoted staff member at the time, I was overly excited at the opportunity to take it on, and the album surely didn’t disappoint. Mutagenic Host does death metal the way I like it: low-brow, Neanderthalic, and brutally chuggy. It’s a tenuous thing to run across something you deem so good so early in the year, but The Diseased Machine has definitely stood the test of Tyme and proved worth every point of the quarter-pounder I placed on it.
#7. Igorrr // Amen – My fancy with Igorrr has always been somewhat of a passing one. I was nowhere near the listener who would’ve been part of the band’s early target audience (Mousissure, Nostril). Still, I found more common ground with 2017’s Savage Sinusoid and even more with 2020’s Spirituality and Distortion. But when those first electronic beats of Amen’s opening track, “Daemoni,” poured out of my speakers for the first time, I was completely plugged in to Igorrr’s chaotically beautiful brand of metal madness. Amen’s surprisingly accessible break-cored, trip-hopped blackened death ‘baroque’ it’s big boot off in my ass, and I’ve been relishing and wallowing in its avant-garde pain ever since.
#6. Cave Sermon // Fragile Wings – Cave Sermon’s Divine Laughter was something I’d definitely missed out on in 2024. When Thus Spoke covered Cave Sermon’s rapid follow-up, Fragile Wings, in April, however, I vowed I wouldn’t sleep on Charlie Park’s solo black metal project this time around. And I’m certainly glad I didn’t. Words like ‘wistful,’ ‘exuberant,’ and ‘playful’ were tossed about in Thus’s excellent write-up and really homed in on what made listening to Fragile Wings such a connective experience for me. Imbued as Fragile Wings is with upbeat sadness, Cave Sermon proved that I can get on board with post metal, and to be honest, any metal that sounds this good is worth the time spent. And seriously, what is that cover?!6
#5. Crippling Alcoholism // Camgirl – Inspired by a subreddit I’m glad I never stumbled across, Crippling Alcoholism’s provocative moniker steels those who’d approach the band’s output with a certain sense of visceral anticipation before hearing even one note. My love for the disturbingly creepy With Love from a Padded Room led me to the pink, candy-wrapped murderpop of Camgirl with nary a moment’s hesitation. I gladly signed on to plumb the depths of weirdness I knew would exist, but could not have anticipated the absolute fathomless darkness lurking within Camgirl’s saccharine sweetness, especially as revealed with subsequent spins. A disturbing diatribe on hopelessness, disappointment, loneliness, and sex in the digital age, Camgirl wraps its message in a deceivingly poppy form of electronica that, when all is said and done, will have you wondering what the fuck just happened. I love it.
#4. Dax Riggs // 7 Songs for Spiders – Dax Riggs may be one of the more underrated artists of the last thirty years, and while I know I’m not the only one who rejoiced in the recent resurgence and subsequent touring schedule of one of the ’90s best sludge acts, Acid Bath, I also realized a new album will probably never materialize, at least not under that moniker. Instead, the universe graced us with 7 Songs for Spiders, Dax’s first solo effort in nearly 15 years. Filled with simplistically haunting melodies sung in Riggs’s inimitable style, 7 Songs for Spiders strummed every one of my fuzzed-out, laid-back heart strings and has remained consistently satisfying since its January release.
#3. Maud the Moth // The Distaff – I stumbled across Maud the Moth in 2023 while exploring the ever-expanding milieu of performers associated with my favorite artist Darkher. Searching Amaya López-Carromoero’s back catalog, I dove into 2015’s The Inner Wastelands and 2020’s Orphnē, emerging a fan of Maud the Moth’s quirky neo-classical piano-led operatics. When The Distaff popped up in the sump, I was glad to see Dolphin Whisperer snag it, knowing his words would do the album eloquent justice. Soaring in scope and execution, Maud the Moth proffers her most complex yet beautiful release to date. Filled with classically executed vocal acrobatics and massive amounts of intricate instrumentation, The Distaff is less a thing just to be listened to, as it is a thing to be wholly experienced. As immersive a piece of music as I’ve heard all year.
#2. Structure // Heritage – M-A-S-S-I-V-E is the word that best describes Structure’s Heritage, which is to say it’s big, sad, and “heavy as fook!”7 Every time I threw this beast on, and the album opener began crawling forth, it conjured the same cinematic image in my mind’s eye. A lone, bloodied warrior, fists clenched, head bowed, wind-swept and rain-soaked hair hanging down, muscles taut and twitching in furious sadness, standing in a field full of his fallen brethren as a lightning-laced deluge washed the blood of dead soldiers into the hungry ground. Then, slowly, he casts his gaze skyward, anguished tears streaming, contemplating his sole survivor existence, and screaming at the thunder-filled heavens “Will I deserve to live on?” Every time, that’s what I see when I listen to “Will I Deserve It,” and every time I break out in goose bumps with a lumpy throat and welling eyes. Heritage came as close to being my number one as to make the two offerings at the top of my 2025 list nearly interchangeable.
#1. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail – I know I underrated Dormant Ordeal’s fourth album, Tooth and Nail, for, despite giving it the 4.0 treatment, the sheer excellence of this record has only improved over time. April was THE month for me this year, yielding my two favorite metal releases and leaving Poland’s metal map deeply staked with a big, black-and-gold Dormant Ordeal flag. In true, warrior-like fashion, Maciej Nieścioruk and Maciej Proficz soldiered on without sole founding member Radek Kowal, which opened the door for Chase Westmoreland to waltz in and give my favorite drum performance of the year. From the brutally effective “Halo of Bones” to the excellent, Dylan Thomas-inspired “Against the Dying of the Light,” there wasn’t an album I returned to more this year than Tooth and Nail, its visceral riffs and razor-sharp edges leaving long-lasting scars. But in a good way, you know? It’s with profound pleasure that I dutifully crown Dormant Ordeal’s Tooth and Nail my album of the year.
Honorable Mentions
- Cryptopsy // An Insatiable Violence – This thing is an ass kicker. Full of satisfying death metal brutality and, like it or not, my favorite since the classic None So Vile.
- Pissgrave // Malignant Worthlessness – Thirty-one minutes of absolutely insane death metal that will melt your ears into maggot-infested pus. Soooooo good.
- Messa // The Spin – It’s Messa, fool! ‘Nuff said. There was no way I was getting out of 2025’s Listurnalia without mentioning the new album from one of my favorite doom bands.
- Depravity // Bestial Possession – This thing blew my socks off and, had I gotten more time to spend with it, might have threatened to rattle the cage of my list order for sure. Death metal done right.
- Diabolizer // Murderous Revelations – I had been in a death metal drought when I picked up Murderous Revelations; its traditional, no-frills approach hitting me hard. This one came so close to listing for me, I could smell its charred, crispy, burnt ends.
- Lipoma // No Cure for the Sick – Gurgly gore vocals over a circus parade of melodic death metal riffs. What’s not to like? I had tons of fun with this thing.
- Puteraeon // Mountains of Madness – Puteraeon was a band that had never been on my radar. Mountains of Madness’s mature aesthetic, great storyline, and engagingly crafted melodicism took me entirely by surprise.
Song o’ the Year:
‘Twas a mother-fookin’ toss up between my top 2 albums. I flipped a coin, so close was the race. (Heads) Structure // (Tails) Dormant Ordeal.
WINNER(?):
Structure – “Will I Deserve It” – Satisfyingly goose-bumpy!8
Killjoy
The fact that I’m writing this list feels nothing short of surreal. When I became a regular reader of this blog in 2019, I had a strong interest in metal but a knowledge of only a handful of its subgenres. I did not expect to make it this far when I auditioned, but somehow I became a member of the Freezer Crew. Although we were initially forced to huddle together for warmth to survive the n00b trials, as time went on, I developed a deep respect for all of my Crewmates. Their camaraderie and encouragement were great motivation for me to keep writing this year, even when it was tough. We were even allowed to organize a special edition Rodeö! I’m so proud to associate with them.
On a more somber note, I was sad to see many of the longtime writers who helped me fall in love with this site slip into the abyss we sometimes call “non-suspicious sabbatical.” While I will miss reading their eloquent words, their legacy and contributions will always influence and inspire me.
And now for some thank yous. I’m grateful to AMG Himself for creating the site and allowing me to run rampant with my questionable opinions. A gorilla-sized thanks to Steel Druhm for keeping day-to-day operations running and being the kindest, cruelest taskmaster I could hope for. Thank you to my list mate, Tyme, for making my musical tastes seem better by association. Finally, I’d like to publicly thank my wife for being so supportive of my new hobby.
I’m excited for what awaits in 2026 (which hopefully includes more power metal than I managed to review in 2025)!
#ish. Kauan // Wayhome – Kauan has demonstrated time and again that their ability to compose evocative soundscapes is unmatched in the post-rock sphere. Wayhome draws a little bit from different eras in Kauan’s fruitful career to form a richer, warmer experience. Each individual instrument—acoustic and electric guitars, strings, voice—is a crucial brush stroke in a breathtaking panorama. This is some of the most enchanting music I’ve ever heard.
#10. Anfauglir // Akallabêth – When I first grabbed Akallabêth for review, I was blissfully unaware of the 72-minute runtime (but probably should have had an inkling). After spending some time with it, I became blissfully aware of how awesome it is. Based on the chapter of Tolkien’s The Silmarillion chronicling the 3,000-year rise and fall of the island of Númenor, Akallabêth is as epic in sound as it is in scope. Mrs. Killjoy was more interested in the concept than the music, but it still made for some fun conversations. While the long runtime makes it a bit harder to revisit than the other entries on this list, this is my idea of a great symphonic black metal album.
#9. In Mourning // The Immortal – Progressive death metal comes in all shapes and sizes, and I tend to be drawn to the more emotive flavors. When Disillusion released Ayam a few years ago, it took me a while to understand the hype. In a similar manner, it took longer than it probably should have for me to appreciate The Immortal. I don’t know why this was, but in both cases I’m glad I stuck with them. In Mourning’s signature combination of earnest melodies and energetic riffs is now embedded in my mind and heart.
#8. Asira // As Ink in Water – Due to journalistic circumstances that I won’t discuss with fans, I was fortunate enough to obtain this promo earlier than I normally would have. Good thing, too, because As Ink in Water turned out to be a grower for me. The vocals proved much less popular in the comments than I anticipated, but they are the biggest reason why this record resonates with me. The buttery-smooth guitar and bass lines are another big factor. The fact that As Ink in Water was released during the tail end of 2025 might mean it appears on fewer top ten lists, but it should not be missed.
#7. Judicator // Concord – I don’t have a long history with Judicator. I am part of the seemingly small minority that prefers the post-Cordisco era, although I admit that I need to spend more time with their earlier work. Concord sees Judicator returning to their heavy/power metal roots after an experimental foray into progressive territory (which I also loved!). Other than brief saxophone and fiddle segments, there aren’t any fancy frills this time, only lots of guitar hooks and infectious choruses. And, in this case, that’s more than enough to make me happy.
#6. Valhalore // Beyond the Stars – I don’t normally see the point in quibbling about scores, however, I feel that Beyond the Stars was soundly underrated. It’s a distillation of everything I love about peak Eluveitie and Æther Realm. The folk instrumentation blends perfectly with the fast-paced melodic death metal elements. The interludes cleverly foreshadow and ease the listener into the subsequent songs. I also love the tender vocal performance by Anna Murphy towards the end. Beyond the Stars is a fun and emotional journey from start to finish.
#5. Gloombound // Dreaming Delusion – I’m always down to sample funeral doom, but it takes a very special kind to keep me coming back. Gloombound expertly walks the difficult balance between atmospheric and stimulating music. The overall sound is that of a soul trying to escape imprisonment, whether physical, emotional, or mental. Dreaming Delusion makes me feel different emotions every time I listen, but chief among them is a crushing awe.
#4. Phantom Spell // Heather & Hearth – I love uplifting, feel-good metal (this should not come as a surprise by now). So, it was almost inevitable that I would love the nostalgic keyboards and guitar solos of Heather & Hearth. But, for some reason, it took AMG’s landmark blog post about the evils of Spotify for me to really pay attention to Phantom Spell. I’m grateful I did, because I might have missed out on one of the most addictive pieces of progressive rock I’ve ever heard.
#3. Halocraft // The Sky Will Remember – Halocraft quickly became one of my favorite bands since I discovered them early this year. Their purposeful yet dreamy brand of post-rock is practically custom-made for me. This year, they expanded their creative limits by writing two very different records. I’m partial to The Sky Will Remember, but don’t miss out on its companion, To Leave a Single Wolf Alive, for a gloomier vibe. Their prior albums are really good too, and I listen to them just as often.
#2. An Abstract Illusion // The Sleeping City – “If not 4.5, then why 4.5 shaped?”, one of you rabble-rousers quipped about my review of The Sleeping City. The truth is, the more time I spend with it, the more I wonder if maybe I did underrate it. I’ve somehow grown to love The Sleeping City even more in the months since I awarded it a 4.0. Sure, the production leaves much to be desired, but there aren’t any other notable qualities that I would consider faults. It won’t appeal to the exact same audience as the legendary Woe, but I have plenty of room in my heart for both (and likely whatever An Abstract Illusion devises next). It was such an honor to write about this wondrous record.
#1. Black Narcissus // There Lingers One Who’s Long Forgotten – When I plucked There Lingers One Who’s Long Forgotten from the promo pit, I was a little skeptical about music made with only bass and drums. It turns out, though, that this minimalist approach—along with excellent songwriting, of course—was the key to unlocking a new realm of possibility within the post-rock genre. The bass blooms unfettered in this distraction-free biome, and the drum tone is crisp and refreshing. The two instruments intertwine to engender a spirit of companionship and exploration. There Lingers One Who’s Long Forgotten will always have a special place in my heart, and I am grateful to Black Narcissus for sharing this gift.
Honorable Mentions:
- Crimson Shadows // Whispers of War – As a parent of two children under age five, I am not often in the mood to be overstimulated by the media I consume. However, Whispers of War is so fun that I have to make an exception. The addition of melodic death metal feels like such a natural progression to the signature DragonForce style that conquered my naive teenage heart circa Guitar Hero III.
- Wyatt E. // Zamāru Ultu Qereb Ziqquratu Part 1 – My very first score safety violation! After spending more time with it, I can understand how some might see this as incomplete or underdeveloped, though I’m willing to give Wyatt E. the benefit of the doubt while I wait for Part 2.
- Bergfried // Romantik III – I’m a sucker for a good rock opera. Romantik III is undeniably rough around the edges, but not in a way that rubs off any of its charm. To the contrary, in my opinion.
- Moron Police // Pachinko – Talk about a late-year list disruptor! Pachinko is a wild and addictive whirlwind of prog/pop rock that I know for a fact I’ll still be spinning next year.
- Braia // Vertentes de lá e cá – Vibrant folk rock with a huge array of instruments and musical influences. This didn’t get nearly as much attention as it deserves.
- Aganoor // Doomerism – Okay, maaaaybe I overrated this by half a point. But it’s still really solid psychedelic stoner doom with catchy riffs and lush instrumental breaks.
- Ancient Bards // Artifex – Am I only including this one for sentimental reasons? Probably. But it does contain some of my favorite songs of the year (“My Prima Nox,” “Soulbound Symphony,” “My Blood and Blade”) that I still revisit regularly.
Song o’ the Year:
Judicator – “Concord”
#2025 #Aganoor #AnAbstractIllusion #AncientBards #Anfauglir #Antino #Antinoë #Asira #Bergfried #BlackNarcissus #BlogPosts #Braia #CaveSermon #CrimsonShadows #CripplingAlcoholism #Cryptopsy #DaxRiggs #Depravity #Diabolizer #DormantOrdeal #Gloombound #Halocraft #Igorrr #Imperishable #InMourning #Judicator #Kauan #KingWitch #Lipoma #Lists #Listurnalia #MaudTheMoth #Messa #MoronPolice #MutagenicHost #PhantomSpell #Pissgrave #Puteraeon #Structure #TymeSAndKilljoySTop10IshOf2025 #Valhalore #WyattE -
Tyme’s and Killjoy’s Top Ten(ish) of 2025 By Steel DruhmTyme
I’ve spent much of my 2025 thinking about privilege. Not in the sense that the media has conditioned me, or us, to think about it, but in a way that I’ve employed to shift some of the mundane aspects of life onto their respective heads. For instance, it’s a privilege to look in my closet and have to decide what to wear each day. It’s a privilege to look in my kitchen pantry to figure out what I’ll eat for breakfast or, better yet, which coffee cup I’ll drink from. I could go on, but there’s a word limit to these intros. Suffice to say, I really tried to dwell on my blessings rather than my challenges this year.
And despite the blessings of my professional life, which bestowed upon me the incredible privilege of being really fucking busy for the last “whatever” number of months, I’ve been equally, yet much less facetiously, blessed in my personal endeavors as well. For, in addition to having a bountiful roof over my head, a vehicle to get me back and forth to my extremely privileged job, a dog I can honestly say I will have NO idea how to say goodbye to if I don’t go first, and a wife that, despite the ups and downs of a normal, healthy marriage, continues to love me, I have the distinct privilege of contributing my trve opinions on all things musically heavy, or adjacently heavy, here on the best heavy metal blog in the world! And now comes the part where I give thanks.
Thank you, first and foremost, to everyone who reads this blog every day. Without you, none of this would be worth doing. At least for me, who read, lurked, and commented for years before working up the courage to actually apply for this subservient existence. Thank you to this newest crop of freshly demoted n00bs and to my list mate Killjoy and the rest of the Freezer Freaks Crew—Alekhines Gun, Owlswald, and Clarkkent1—who, through perseverance and a buttload of patience, managed to survive nearly two years on ice to land in the crosshairs of the commentariat’s adverse, and always wrong, opinions.2,3 Thanks as well, to ALL the senior staff who are way nicer than they’d have you believe,4 except Grier, who’s even nicer than everyone else. And finally, the editors, the man himself, Dr. AMG, for seeing enough in me to bring me over, and Steel, who runs the tightest, most compassionate ship I’ve ever had the privilege of sailing on. Thanks, boss!
Now! To the LIST!!!
#ish. Antinoë // The Fold – When I snagged this late-year gem back in November, I had no idea it would have me shuffling my list. With a little more time, I’m sure it would have moved up the ladder, but as it stands, Antinoë grabbed my (ish) spot easily. With little to no instrumentation beyond her piano, Teresa Marraco crafted something so beautiful in its basic-ness that I was entranced. Her delicate melodies evoke vibes that are as much Darkher or Tori Amos5 as they are Emperor or Dimmu Borgir, and I am definitely here for it.
#10. King Witch // III – In a year when Messa released a new album as well, the fact that King Witch is sitting on my year-end proper list and not Sara Bianchin and company speaks volumes about the job Laura Donnelly, Jamie Gilchrist, and Rory Lee did on III. Whether crooning over wispy acoustics or belting out doomily powerful tones over rock-heavy riffs, Donnelly is the star of the show, and her performance had me swooning. From the minute I first heard “Suffer in Life” with its swing-heavy riffs and killer vocals, I was happy to take King Witch’s III for a spin over and over, and it’s been part of my regular rotation since summer.
#9. Imperishable // Revelation in Purity – As the year wore on, I became increasingly sure that I may have underrated Imperishable’s Revelation in Purity. In fact, I found myself returning to it several times, forgoing subsequent spins of albums I’d rated higher. With their Nile and Olkoth pedigree, Imperishable’s expert blend of blackened death metal hit an overtly swirling sweet spot for me. The songwriting on Revelation in Purity, while not groundbreaking, is expertly executed, rendering its quality undeniable. And when you toss in those very Alice in Chains-like grunge passages, akin to a cherry on top, it was easy for me to put Revelation in Purity on my year-end list.
#8. Mutagenic Host // The Diseased Machine – Mutagenic Host’s The Diseased Machine was the first album I successfully coveted and secured from the sump pit alllll the way back in January of this year. As a freshly demoted staff member at the time, I was overly excited at the opportunity to take it on, and the album surely didn’t disappoint. Mutagenic Host does death metal the way I like it: low-brow, Neanderthalic, and brutally chuggy. It’s a tenuous thing to run across something you deem so good so early in the year, but The Diseased Machine has definitely stood the test of Tyme and proved worth every point of the quarter-pounder I placed on it.
#7. Igorrr // Amen – My fancy with Igorrr has always been somewhat of a passing one. I was nowhere near the listener who would’ve been part of the band’s early target audience (Mousissure, Nostril). Still, I found more common ground with 2017’s Savage Sinusoid and even more with 2020’s Spirituality and Distortion. But when those first electronic beats of Amen’s opening track, “Daemoni,” poured out of my speakers for the first time, I was completely plugged in to Igorrr’s chaotically beautiful brand of metal madness. Amen’s surprisingly accessible break-cored, trip-hopped blackened death ‘baroque’ it’s big boot off in my ass, and I’ve been relishing and wallowing in its avant-garde pain ever since.
#6. Cave Sermon // Fragile Wings – Cave Sermon’s Divine Laughter was something I’d definitely missed out on in 2024. When Thus Spoke covered Cave Sermon’s rapid follow-up, Fragile Wings, in April, however, I vowed I wouldn’t sleep on Charlie Park’s solo black metal project this time around. And I’m certainly glad I didn’t. Words like ‘wistful,’ ‘exuberant,’ and ‘playful’ were tossed about in Thus’s excellent write-up and really homed in on what made listening to Fragile Wings such a connective experience for me. Imbued as Fragile Wings is with upbeat sadness, Cave Sermon proved that I can get on board with post metal, and to be honest, any metal that sounds this good is worth the time spent. And seriously, what is that cover?!6
#5. Crippling Alcoholism // Camgirl – Inspired by a subreddit I’m glad I never stumbled across, Crippling Alcoholism’s provocative moniker steels those who’d approach the band’s output with a certain sense of visceral anticipation before hearing even one note. My love for the disturbingly creepy With Love from a Padded Room led me to the pink, candy-wrapped murderpop of Camgirl with nary a moment’s hesitation. I gladly signed on to plumb the depths of weirdness I knew would exist, but could not have anticipated the absolute fathomless darkness lurking within Camgirl’s saccharine sweetness, especially as revealed with subsequent spins. A disturbing diatribe on hopelessness, disappointment, loneliness, and sex in the digital age, Camgirl wraps its message in a deceivingly poppy form of electronica that, when all is said and done, will have you wondering what the fuck just happened. I love it.
#4. Dax Riggs // 7 Songs for Spiders – Dax Riggs may be one of the more underrated artists of the last thirty years, and while I know I’m not the only one who rejoiced in the recent resurgence and subsequent touring schedule of one of the ’90s best sludge acts, Acid Bath, I also realized a new album will probably never materialize, at least not under that moniker. Instead, the universe graced us with 7 Songs for Spiders, Dax’s first solo effort in nearly 15 years. Filled with simplistically haunting melodies sung in Riggs’s inimitable style, 7 Songs for Spiders strummed every one of my fuzzed-out, laid-back heart strings and has remained consistently satisfying since its January release.
#3. Maud the Moth // The Distaff – I stumbled across Maud the Moth in 2023 while exploring the ever-expanding milieu of performers associated with my favorite artist Darkher. Searching Amaya López-Carromoero’s back catalog, I dove into 2015’s The Inner Wastelands and 2020’s Orphnē, emerging a fan of Maud the Moth’s quirky neo-classical piano-led operatics. When The Distaff popped up in the sump, I was glad to see Dolphin Whisperer snag it, knowing his words would do the album eloquent justice. Soaring in scope and execution, Maud the Moth proffers her most complex yet beautiful release to date. Filled with classically executed vocal acrobatics and massive amounts of intricate instrumentation, The Distaff is less a thing just to be listened to, as it is a thing to be wholly experienced. As immersive a piece of music as I’ve heard all year.
#2. Structure // Heritage – M-A-S-S-I-V-E is the word that best describes Structure’s Heritage, which is to say it’s big, sad, and “heavy as fook!”7 Every time I threw this beast on, and the album opener began crawling forth, it conjured the same cinematic image in my mind’s eye. A lone, bloodied warrior, fists clenched, head bowed, wind-swept and rain-soaked hair hanging down, muscles taut and twitching in furious sadness, standing in a field full of his fallen brethren as a lightning-laced deluge washed the blood of dead soldiers into the hungry ground. Then, slowly, he casts his gaze skyward, anguished tears streaming, contemplating his sole survivor existence, and screaming at the thunder-filled heavens “Will I deserve to live on?” Every time, that’s what I see when I listen to “Will I Deserve It,” and every time I break out in goose bumps with a lumpy throat and welling eyes. Heritage came as close to being my number one as to make the two offerings at the top of my 2025 list nearly interchangeable.
#1. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail – I know I underrated Dormant Ordeal’s fourth album, Tooth and Nail, for, despite giving it the 4.0 treatment, the sheer excellence of this record has only improved over time. April was THE month for me this year, yielding my two favorite metal releases and leaving Poland’s metal map deeply staked with a big, black-and-gold Dormant Ordeal flag. In true, warrior-like fashion, Maciej Nieścioruk and Maciej Proficz soldiered on without sole founding member Radek Kowal, which opened the door for Chase Westmoreland to waltz in and give my favorite drum performance of the year. From the brutally effective “Halo of Bones” to the excellent, Dylan Thomas-inspired “Against the Dying of the Light,” there wasn’t an album I returned to more this year than Tooth and Nail, its visceral riffs and razor-sharp edges leaving long-lasting scars. But in a good way, you know? It’s with profound pleasure that I dutifully crown Dormant Ordeal’s Tooth and Nail my album of the year.
Honorable Mentions
- Cryptopsy // An Insatiable Violence – This thing is an ass kicker. Full of satisfying death metal brutality and, like it or not, my favorite since the classic None So Vile.
- Pissgrave // Malignant Worthlessness – Thirty-one minutes of absolutely insane death metal that will melt your ears into maggot-infested pus. Soooooo good.
- Messa // The Spin – It’s Messa, fool! ‘Nuff said. There was no way I was getting out of 2025’s Listurnalia without mentioning the new album from one of my favorite doom bands.
- Depravity // Bestial Possession – This thing blew my socks off and, had I gotten more time to spend with it, might have threatened to rattle the cage of my list order for sure. Death metal done right.
- Diabolizer // Murderous Revelations – I had been in a death metal drought when I picked up Murderous Revelations; its traditional, no-frills approach hitting me hard. This one came so close to listing for me, I could smell its charred, crispy, burnt ends.
- Lipoma // No Cure for the Sick – Gurgly gore vocals over a circus parade of melodic death metal riffs. What’s not to like? I had tons of fun with this thing.
- Puteraeon // Mountains of Madness – Puteraeon was a band that had never been on my radar. Mountains of Madness’s mature aesthetic, great storyline, and engagingly crafted melodicism took me entirely by surprise.
Song o’ the Year:
‘Twas a mother-fookin’ toss up between my top 2 albums. I flipped a coin, so close was the race. (Heads) Structure // (Tails) Dormant Ordeal.
WINNER(?):
Structure – “Will I Deserve It” – Satisfyingly goose-bumpy!8
Killjoy
The fact that I’m writing this list feels nothing short of surreal. When I became a regular reader of this blog in 2019, I had a strong interest in metal but a knowledge of only a handful of its subgenres. I did not expect to make it this far when I auditioned, but somehow I became a member of the Freezer Crew. Although we were initially forced to huddle together for warmth to survive the n00b trials, as time went on, I developed a deep respect for all of my Crewmates. Their camaraderie and encouragement were great motivation for me to keep writing this year, even when it was tough. We were even allowed to organize a special edition Rodeö! I’m so proud to associate with them.
On a more somber note, I was sad to see many of the longtime writers who helped me fall in love with this site slip into the abyss we sometimes call “non-suspicious sabbatical.” While I will miss reading their eloquent words, their legacy and contributions will always influence and inspire me.
And now for some thank yous. I’m grateful to AMG Himself for creating the site and allowing me to run rampant with my questionable opinions. A gorilla-sized thanks to Steel Druhm for keeping day-to-day operations running and being the kindest, cruelest taskmaster I could hope for. Thank you to my list mate, Tyme, for making my musical tastes seem better by association. Finally, I’d like to publicly thank my wife for being so supportive of my new hobby.
I’m excited for what awaits in 2026 (which hopefully includes more power metal than I managed to review in 2025)!
#ish. Kauan // Wayhome – Kauan has demonstrated time and again that their ability to compose evocative soundscapes is unmatched in the post-rock sphere. Wayhome draws a little bit from different eras in Kauan’s fruitful career to form a richer, warmer experience. Each individual instrument—acoustic and electric guitars, strings, voice—is a crucial brush stroke in a breathtaking panorama. This is some of the most enchanting music I’ve ever heard.
#10. Anfauglir // Akallabêth – When I first grabbed Akallabêth for review, I was blissfully unaware of the 72-minute runtime (but probably should have had an inkling). After spending some time with it, I became blissfully aware of how awesome it is. Based on the chapter of Tolkien’s The Silmarillion chronicling the 3,000-year rise and fall of the island of Númenor, Akallabêth is as epic in sound as it is in scope. Mrs. Killjoy was more interested in the concept than the music, but it still made for some fun conversations. While the long runtime makes it a bit harder to revisit than the other entries on this list, this is my idea of a great symphonic black metal album.
#9. In Mourning // The Immortal – Progressive death metal comes in all shapes and sizes, and I tend to be drawn to the more emotive flavors. When Disillusion released Ayam a few years ago, it took me a while to understand the hype. In a similar manner, it took longer than it probably should have for me to appreciate The Immortal. I don’t know why this was, but in both cases I’m glad I stuck with them. In Mourning’s signature combination of earnest melodies and energetic riffs is now embedded in my mind and heart.
#8. Asira // As Ink in Water – Due to journalistic circumstances that I won’t discuss with fans, I was fortunate enough to obtain this promo earlier than I normally would have. Good thing, too, because As Ink in Water turned out to be a grower for me. The vocals proved much less popular in the comments than I anticipated, but they are the biggest reason why this record resonates with me. The buttery-smooth guitar and bass lines are another big factor. The fact that As Ink in Water was released during the tail end of 2025 might mean it appears on fewer top ten lists, but it should not be missed.
#7. Judicator // Concord – I don’t have a long history with Judicator. I am part of the seemingly small minority that prefers the post-Cordisco era, although I admit that I need to spend more time with their earlier work. Concord sees Judicator returning to their heavy/power metal roots after an experimental foray into progressive territory (which I also loved!). Other than brief saxophone and fiddle segments, there aren’t any fancy frills this time, only lots of guitar hooks and infectious choruses. And, in this case, that’s more than enough to make me happy.
#6. Valhalore // Beyond the Stars – I don’t normally see the point in quibbling about scores, however, I feel that Beyond the Stars was soundly underrated. It’s a distillation of everything I love about peak Eluveitie and Æther Realm. The folk instrumentation blends perfectly with the fast-paced melodic death metal elements. The interludes cleverly foreshadow and ease the listener into the subsequent songs. I also love the tender vocal performance by Anna Murphy towards the end. Beyond the Stars is a fun and emotional journey from start to finish.
#5. Gloombound // Dreaming Delusion – I’m always down to sample funeral doom, but it takes a very special kind to keep me coming back. Gloombound expertly walks the difficult balance between atmospheric and stimulating music. The overall sound is that of a soul trying to escape imprisonment, whether physical, emotional, or mental. Dreaming Delusion makes me feel different emotions every time I listen, but chief among them is a crushing awe.
#4. Phantom Spell // Heather & Hearth – I love uplifting, feel-good metal (this should not come as a surprise by now). So, it was almost inevitable that I would love the nostalgic keyboards and guitar solos of Heather & Hearth. But, for some reason, it took AMG’s landmark blog post about the evils of Spotify for me to really pay attention to Phantom Spell. I’m grateful I did, because I might have missed out on one of the most addictive pieces of progressive rock I’ve ever heard.
#3. Halocraft // The Sky Will Remember – Halocraft quickly became one of my favorite bands since I discovered them early this year. Their purposeful yet dreamy brand of post-rock is practically custom-made for me. This year, they expanded their creative limits by writing two very different records. I’m partial to The Sky Will Remember, but don’t miss out on its companion, To Leave a Single Wolf Alive, for a gloomier vibe. Their prior albums are really good too, and I listen to them just as often.
#2. An Abstract Illusion // The Sleeping City – “If not 4.5, then why 4.5 shaped?”, one of you rabble-rousers quipped about my review of The Sleeping City. The truth is, the more time I spend with it, the more I wonder if maybe I did underrate it. I’ve somehow grown to love The Sleeping City even more in the months since I awarded it a 4.0. Sure, the production leaves much to be desired, but there aren’t any other notable qualities that I would consider faults. It won’t appeal to the exact same audience as the legendary Woe, but I have plenty of room in my heart for both (and likely whatever An Abstract Illusion devises next). It was such an honor to write about this wondrous record.
#1. Black Narcissus // There Lingers One Who’s Long Forgotten – When I plucked There Lingers One Who’s Long Forgotten from the promo pit, I was a little skeptical about music made with only bass and drums. It turns out, though, that this minimalist approach—along with excellent songwriting, of course—was the key to unlocking a new realm of possibility within the post-rock genre. The bass blooms unfettered in this distraction-free biome, and the drum tone is crisp and refreshing. The two instruments intertwine to engender a spirit of companionship and exploration. There Lingers One Who’s Long Forgotten will always have a special place in my heart, and I am grateful to Black Narcissus for sharing this gift.
Honorable Mentions:
- Crimson Shadows // Whispers of War – As a parent of two children under age five, I am not often in the mood to be overstimulated by the media I consume. However, Whispers of War is so fun that I have to make an exception. The addition of melodic death metal feels like such a natural progression to the signature DragonForce style that conquered my naive teenage heart circa Guitar Hero III.
- Wyatt E. // Zamāru Ultu Qereb Ziqquratu Part 1 – My very first score safety violation! After spending more time with it, I can understand how some might see this as incomplete or underdeveloped, though I’m willing to give Wyatt E. the benefit of the doubt while I wait for Part 2.
- Bergfried // Romantik III – I’m a sucker for a good rock opera. Romantik III is undeniably rough around the edges, but not in a way that rubs off any of its charm. To the contrary, in my opinion.
- Moron Police // Pachinko – Talk about a late-year list disruptor! Pachinko is a wild and addictive whirlwind of prog/pop rock that I know for a fact I’ll still be spinning next year.
- Braia // Vertentes de lá e cá – Vibrant folk rock with a huge array of instruments and musical influences. This didn’t get nearly as much attention as it deserves.
- Aganoor // Doomerism – Okay, maaaaybe I overrated this by half a point. But it’s still really solid psychedelic stoner doom with catchy riffs and lush instrumental breaks.
- Ancient Bards // Artifex – Am I only including this one for sentimental reasons? Probably. But it does contain some of my favorite songs of the year (“My Prima Nox,” “Soulbound Symphony,” “My Blood and Blade”) that I still revisit regularly.
Song o’ the Year:
Judicator – “Concord”
#2025 #Aganoor #AnAbstractIllusion #AncientBards #Anfauglir #Antino #Antinoë #Asira #Bergfried #BlackNarcissus #BlogPosts #Braia #CaveSermon #CrimsonShadows #CripplingAlcoholism #Cryptopsy #DaxRiggs #Depravity #Diabolizer #DormantOrdeal #Gloombound #Halocraft #Igorrr #Imperishable #InMourning #Judicator #Kauan #KingWitch #Lipoma #Lists #Listurnalia #MaudTheMoth #Messa #MoronPolice #MutagenicHost #PhantomSpell #Pissgrave #Puteraeon #Structure #TymeSAndKilljoySTop10IshOf2025 #Valhalore #WyattE -
Tyme’s and Killjoy’s Top Ten(ish) of 2025 By Steel DruhmTyme
I’ve spent much of my 2025 thinking about privilege. Not in the sense that the media has conditioned me, or us, to think about it, but in a way that I’ve employed to shift some of the mundane aspects of life onto their respective heads. For instance, it’s a privilege to look in my closet and have to decide what to wear each day. It’s a privilege to look in my kitchen pantry to figure out what I’ll eat for breakfast or, better yet, which coffee cup I’ll drink from. I could go on, but there’s a word limit to these intros. Suffice to say, I really tried to dwell on my blessings rather than my challenges this year.
And despite the blessings of my professional life, which bestowed upon me the incredible privilege of being really fucking busy for the last “whatever” number of months, I’ve been equally, yet much less facetiously, blessed in my personal endeavors as well. For, in addition to having a bountiful roof over my head, a vehicle to get me back and forth to my extremely privileged job, a dog I can honestly say I will have NO idea how to say goodbye to if I don’t go first, and a wife that, despite the ups and downs of a normal, healthy marriage, continues to love me, I have the distinct privilege of contributing my trve opinions on all things musically heavy, or adjacently heavy, here on the best heavy metal blog in the world! And now comes the part where I give thanks.
Thank you, first and foremost, to everyone who reads this blog every day. Without you, none of this would be worth doing. At least for me, who read, lurked, and commented for years before working up the courage to actually apply for this subservient existence. Thank you to this newest crop of freshly demoted n00bs and to my list mate Killjoy and the rest of the Freezer Freaks Crew—Alekhines Gun, Owlswald, and Clarkkent1—who, through perseverance and a buttload of patience, managed to survive nearly two years on ice to land in the crosshairs of the commentariat’s adverse, and always wrong, opinions.2,3 Thanks as well, to ALL the senior staff who are way nicer than they’d have you believe,4 except Grier, who’s even nicer than everyone else. And finally, the editors, the man himself, Dr. AMG, for seeing enough in me to bring me over, and Steel, who runs the tightest, most compassionate ship I’ve ever had the privilege of sailing on. Thanks, boss!
Now! To the LIST!!!
#ish. Antinoë // The Fold – When I snagged this late-year gem back in November, I had no idea it would have me shuffling my list. With a little more time, I’m sure it would have moved up the ladder, but as it stands, Antinoë grabbed my (ish) spot easily. With little to no instrumentation beyond her piano, Teresa Marraco crafted something so beautiful in its basic-ness that I was entranced. Her delicate melodies evoke vibes that are as much Darkher or Tori Amos5 as they are Emperor or Dimmu Borgir, and I am definitely here for it.
#10. King Witch // III – In a year when Messa released a new album as well, the fact that King Witch is sitting on my year-end proper list and not Sara Bianchin and company speaks volumes about the job Laura Donnelly, Jamie Gilchrist, and Rory Lee did on III. Whether crooning over wispy acoustics or belting out doomily powerful tones over rock-heavy riffs, Donnelly is the star of the show, and her performance had me swooning. From the minute I first heard “Suffer in Life” with its swing-heavy riffs and killer vocals, I was happy to take King Witch’s III for a spin over and over, and it’s been part of my regular rotation since summer.
#9. Imperishable // Revelation in Purity – As the year wore on, I became increasingly sure that I may have underrated Imperishable’s Revelation in Purity. In fact, I found myself returning to it several times, forgoing subsequent spins of albums I’d rated higher. With their Nile and Olkoth pedigree, Imperishable’s expert blend of blackened death metal hit an overtly swirling sweet spot for me. The songwriting on Revelation in Purity, while not groundbreaking, is expertly executed, rendering its quality undeniable. And when you toss in those very Alice in Chains-like grunge passages, akin to a cherry on top, it was easy for me to put Revelation in Purity on my year-end list.
#8. Mutagenic Host // The Diseased Machine – Mutagenic Host’s The Diseased Machine was the first album I successfully coveted and secured from the sump pit alllll the way back in January of this year. As a freshly demoted staff member at the time, I was overly excited at the opportunity to take it on, and the album surely didn’t disappoint. Mutagenic Host does death metal the way I like it: low-brow, Neanderthalic, and brutally chuggy. It’s a tenuous thing to run across something you deem so good so early in the year, but The Diseased Machine has definitely stood the test of Tyme and proved worth every point of the quarter-pounder I placed on it.
#7. Igorrr // Amen – My fancy with Igorrr has always been somewhat of a passing one. I was nowhere near the listener who would’ve been part of the band’s early target audience (Mousissure, Nostril). Still, I found more common ground with 2017’s Savage Sinusoid and even more with 2020’s Spirituality and Distortion. But when those first electronic beats of Amen’s opening track, “Daemoni,” poured out of my speakers for the first time, I was completely plugged in to Igorrr’s chaotically beautiful brand of metal madness. Amen’s surprisingly accessible break-cored, trip-hopped blackened death ‘baroque’ it’s big boot off in my ass, and I’ve been relishing and wallowing in its avant-garde pain ever since.
#6. Cave Sermon // Fragile Wings – Cave Sermon’s Divine Laughter was something I’d definitely missed out on in 2024. When Thus Spoke covered Cave Sermon’s rapid follow-up, Fragile Wings, in April, however, I vowed I wouldn’t sleep on Charlie Park’s solo black metal project this time around. And I’m certainly glad I didn’t. Words like ‘wistful,’ ‘exuberant,’ and ‘playful’ were tossed about in Thus’s excellent write-up and really homed in on what made listening to Fragile Wings such a connective experience for me. Imbued as Fragile Wings is with upbeat sadness, Cave Sermon proved that I can get on board with post metal, and to be honest, any metal that sounds this good is worth the time spent. And seriously, what is that cover?!6
#5. Crippling Alcoholism // Camgirl – Inspired by a subreddit I’m glad I never stumbled across, Crippling Alcoholism’s provocative moniker steels those who’d approach the band’s output with a certain sense of visceral anticipation before hearing even one note. My love for the disturbingly creepy With Love from a Padded Room led me to the pink, candy-wrapped murderpop of Camgirl with nary a moment’s hesitation. I gladly signed on to plumb the depths of weirdness I knew would exist, but could not have anticipated the absolute fathomless darkness lurking within Camgirl’s saccharine sweetness, especially as revealed with subsequent spins. A disturbing diatribe on hopelessness, disappointment, loneliness, and sex in the digital age, Camgirl wraps its message in a deceivingly poppy form of electronica that, when all is said and done, will have you wondering what the fuck just happened. I love it.
#4. Dax Riggs // 7 Songs for Spiders – Dax Riggs may be one of the more underrated artists of the last thirty years, and while I know I’m not the only one who rejoiced in the recent resurgence and subsequent touring schedule of one of the ’90s best sludge acts, Acid Bath, I also realized a new album will probably never materialize, at least not under that moniker. Instead, the universe graced us with 7 Songs for Spiders, Dax’s first solo effort in nearly 15 years. Filled with simplistically haunting melodies sung in Riggs’s inimitable style, 7 Songs for Spiders strummed every one of my fuzzed-out, laid-back heart strings and has remained consistently satisfying since its January release.
#3. Maud the Moth // The Distaff – I stumbled across Maud the Moth in 2023 while exploring the ever-expanding milieu of performers associated with my favorite artist Darkher. Searching Amaya López-Carromoero’s back catalog, I dove into 2015’s The Inner Wastelands and 2020’s Orphnē, emerging a fan of Maud the Moth’s quirky neo-classical piano-led operatics. When The Distaff popped up in the sump, I was glad to see Dolphin Whisperer snag it, knowing his words would do the album eloquent justice. Soaring in scope and execution, Maud the Moth proffers her most complex yet beautiful release to date. Filled with classically executed vocal acrobatics and massive amounts of intricate instrumentation, The Distaff is less a thing just to be listened to, as it is a thing to be wholly experienced. As immersive a piece of music as I’ve heard all year.
#2. Structure // Heritage – M-A-S-S-I-V-E is the word that best describes Structure’s Heritage, which is to say it’s big, sad, and “heavy as fook!”7 Every time I threw this beast on, and the album opener began crawling forth, it conjured the same cinematic image in my mind’s eye. A lone, bloodied warrior, fists clenched, head bowed, wind-swept and rain-soaked hair hanging down, muscles taut and twitching in furious sadness, standing in a field full of his fallen brethren as a lightning-laced deluge washed the blood of dead soldiers into the hungry ground. Then, slowly, he casts his gaze skyward, anguished tears streaming, contemplating his sole survivor existence, and screaming at the thunder-filled heavens “Will I deserve to live on?” Every time, that’s what I see when I listen to “Will I Deserve It,” and every time I break out in goose bumps with a lumpy throat and welling eyes. Heritage came as close to being my number one as to make the two offerings at the top of my 2025 list nearly interchangeable.
#1. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail – I know I underrated Dormant Ordeal’s fourth album, Tooth and Nail, for, despite giving it the 4.0 treatment, the sheer excellence of this record has only improved over time. April was THE month for me this year, yielding my two favorite metal releases and leaving Poland’s metal map deeply staked with a big, black-and-gold Dormant Ordeal flag. In true, warrior-like fashion, Maciej Nieścioruk and Maciej Proficz soldiered on without sole founding member Radek Kowal, which opened the door for Chase Westmoreland to waltz in and give my favorite drum performance of the year. From the brutally effective “Halo of Bones” to the excellent, Dylan Thomas-inspired “Against the Dying of the Light,” there wasn’t an album I returned to more this year than Tooth and Nail, its visceral riffs and razor-sharp edges leaving long-lasting scars. But in a good way, you know? It’s with profound pleasure that I dutifully crown Dormant Ordeal’s Tooth and Nail my album of the year.
Honorable Mentions
- Cryptopsy // An Insatiable Violence – This thing is an ass kicker. Full of satisfying death metal brutality and, like it or not, my favorite since the classic None So Vile.
- Pissgrave // Malignant Worthlessness – Thirty-one minutes of absolutely insane death metal that will melt your ears into maggot-infested pus. Soooooo good.
- Messa // The Spin – It’s Messa, fool! ‘Nuff said. There was no way I was getting out of 2025’s Listurnalia without mentioning the new album from one of my favorite doom bands.
- Depravity // Bestial Possession – This thing blew my socks off and, had I gotten more time to spend with it, might have threatened to rattle the cage of my list order for sure. Death metal done right.
- Diabolizer // Murderous Revelations – I had been in a death metal drought when I picked up Murderous Revelations; its traditional, no-frills approach hitting me hard. This one came so close to listing for me, I could smell its charred, crispy, burnt ends.
- Lipoma // No Cure for the Sick – Gurgly gore vocals over a circus parade of melodic death metal riffs. What’s not to like? I had tons of fun with this thing.
- Puteraeon // Mountains of Madness – Puteraeon was a band that had never been on my radar. Mountains of Madness’s mature aesthetic, great storyline, and engagingly crafted melodicism took me entirely by surprise.
Song o’ the Year:
‘Twas a mother-fookin’ toss up between my top 2 albums. I flipped a coin, so close was the race. (Heads) Structure // (Tails) Dormant Ordeal.
WINNER(?):
Structure – “Will I Deserve It” – Satisfyingly goose-bumpy!8
Killjoy
The fact that I’m writing this list feels nothing short of surreal. When I became a regular reader of this blog in 2019, I had a strong interest in metal but a knowledge of only a handful of its subgenres. I did not expect to make it this far when I auditioned, but somehow I became a member of the Freezer Crew. Although we were initially forced to huddle together for warmth to survive the n00b trials, as time went on, I developed a deep respect for all of my Crewmates. Their camaraderie and encouragement were great motivation for me to keep writing this year, even when it was tough. We were even allowed to organize a special edition Rodeö! I’m so proud to associate with them.
On a more somber note, I was sad to see many of the longtime writers who helped me fall in love with this site slip into the abyss we sometimes call “non-suspicious sabbatical.” While I will miss reading their eloquent words, their legacy and contributions will always influence and inspire me.
And now for some thank yous. I’m grateful to AMG Himself for creating the site and allowing me to run rampant with my questionable opinions. A gorilla-sized thanks to Steel Druhm for keeping day-to-day operations running and being the kindest, cruelest taskmaster I could hope for. Thank you to my list mate, Tyme, for making my musical tastes seem better by association. Finally, I’d like to publicly thank my wife for being so supportive of my new hobby.
I’m excited for what awaits in 2026 (which hopefully includes more power metal than I managed to review in 2025)!
#ish. Kauan // Wayhome – Kauan has demonstrated time and again that their ability to compose evocative soundscapes is unmatched in the post-rock sphere. Wayhome draws a little bit from different eras in Kauan’s fruitful career to form a richer, warmer experience. Each individual instrument—acoustic and electric guitars, strings, voice—is a crucial brush stroke in a breathtaking panorama. This is some of the most enchanting music I’ve ever heard.
#10. Anfauglir // Akallabêth – When I first grabbed Akallabêth for review, I was blissfully unaware of the 72-minute runtime (but probably should have had an inkling). After spending some time with it, I became blissfully aware of how awesome it is. Based on the chapter of Tolkien’s The Silmarillion chronicling the 3,000-year rise and fall of the island of Númenor, Akallabêth is as epic in sound as it is in scope. Mrs. Killjoy was more interested in the concept than the music, but it still made for some fun conversations. While the long runtime makes it a bit harder to revisit than the other entries on this list, this is my idea of a great symphonic black metal album.
#9. In Mourning // The Immortal – Progressive death metal comes in all shapes and sizes, and I tend to be drawn to the more emotive flavors. When Disillusion released Ayam a few years ago, it took me a while to understand the hype. In a similar manner, it took longer than it probably should have for me to appreciate The Immortal. I don’t know why this was, but in both cases I’m glad I stuck with them. In Mourning’s signature combination of earnest melodies and energetic riffs is now embedded in my mind and heart.
#8. Asira // As Ink in Water – Due to journalistic circumstances that I won’t discuss with fans, I was fortunate enough to obtain this promo earlier than I normally would have. Good thing, too, because As Ink in Water turned out to be a grower for me. The vocals proved much less popular in the comments than I anticipated, but they are the biggest reason why this record resonates with me. The buttery-smooth guitar and bass lines are another big factor. The fact that As Ink in Water was released during the tail end of 2025 might mean it appears on fewer top ten lists, but it should not be missed.
#7. Judicator // Concord – I don’t have a long history with Judicator. I am part of the seemingly small minority that prefers the post-Cordisco era, although I admit that I need to spend more time with their earlier work. Concord sees Judicator returning to their heavy/power metal roots after an experimental foray into progressive territory (which I also loved!). Other than brief saxophone and fiddle segments, there aren’t any fancy frills this time, only lots of guitar hooks and infectious choruses. And, in this case, that’s more than enough to make me happy.
#6. Valhalore // Beyond the Stars – I don’t normally see the point in quibbling about scores, however, I feel that Beyond the Stars was soundly underrated. It’s a distillation of everything I love about peak Eluveitie and Æther Realm. The folk instrumentation blends perfectly with the fast-paced melodic death metal elements. The interludes cleverly foreshadow and ease the listener into the subsequent songs. I also love the tender vocal performance by Anna Murphy towards the end. Beyond the Stars is a fun and emotional journey from start to finish.
#5. Gloombound // Dreaming Delusion – I’m always down to sample funeral doom, but it takes a very special kind to keep me coming back. Gloombound expertly walks the difficult balance between atmospheric and stimulating music. The overall sound is that of a soul trying to escape imprisonment, whether physical, emotional, or mental. Dreaming Delusion makes me feel different emotions every time I listen, but chief among them is a crushing awe.
#4. Phantom Spell // Heather & Hearth – I love uplifting, feel-good metal (this should not come as a surprise by now). So, it was almost inevitable that I would love the nostalgic keyboards and guitar solos of Heather & Hearth. But, for some reason, it took AMG’s landmark blog post about the evils of Spotify for me to really pay attention to Phantom Spell. I’m grateful I did, because I might have missed out on one of the most addictive pieces of progressive rock I’ve ever heard.
#3. Halocraft // The Sky Will Remember – Halocraft quickly became one of my favorite bands since I discovered them early this year. Their purposeful yet dreamy brand of post-rock is practically custom-made for me. This year, they expanded their creative limits by writing two very different records. I’m partial to The Sky Will Remember, but don’t miss out on its companion, To Leave a Single Wolf Alive, for a gloomier vibe. Their prior albums are really good too, and I listen to them just as often.
#2. An Abstract Illusion // The Sleeping City – “If not 4.5, then why 4.5 shaped?”, one of you rabble-rousers quipped about my review of The Sleeping City. The truth is, the more time I spend with it, the more I wonder if maybe I did underrate it. I’ve somehow grown to love The Sleeping City even more in the months since I awarded it a 4.0. Sure, the production leaves much to be desired, but there aren’t any other notable qualities that I would consider faults. It won’t appeal to the exact same audience as the legendary Woe, but I have plenty of room in my heart for both (and likely whatever An Abstract Illusion devises next). It was such an honor to write about this wondrous record.
#1. Black Narcissus // There Lingers One Who’s Long Forgotten – When I plucked There Lingers One Who’s Long Forgotten from the promo pit, I was a little skeptical about music made with only bass and drums. It turns out, though, that this minimalist approach—along with excellent songwriting, of course—was the key to unlocking a new realm of possibility within the post-rock genre. The bass blooms unfettered in this distraction-free biome, and the drum tone is crisp and refreshing. The two instruments intertwine to engender a spirit of companionship and exploration. There Lingers One Who’s Long Forgotten will always have a special place in my heart, and I am grateful to Black Narcissus for sharing this gift.
Honorable Mentions:
- Crimson Shadows // Whispers of War – As a parent of two children under age five, I am not often in the mood to be overstimulated by the media I consume. However, Whispers of War is so fun that I have to make an exception. The addition of melodic death metal feels like such a natural progression to the signature DragonForce style that conquered my naive teenage heart circa Guitar Hero III.
- Wyatt E. // Zamāru Ultu Qereb Ziqquratu Part 1 – My very first score safety violation! After spending more time with it, I can understand how some might see this as incomplete or underdeveloped, though I’m willing to give Wyatt E. the benefit of the doubt while I wait for Part 2.
- Bergfried // Romantik III – I’m a sucker for a good rock opera. Romantik III is undeniably rough around the edges, but not in a way that rubs off any of its charm. To the contrary, in my opinion.
- Moron Police // Pachinko – Talk about a late-year list disruptor! Pachinko is a wild and addictive whirlwind of prog/pop rock that I know for a fact I’ll still be spinning next year.
- Braia // Vertentes de lá e cá – Vibrant folk rock with a huge array of instruments and musical influences. This didn’t get nearly as much attention as it deserves.
- Aganoor // Doomerism – Okay, maaaaybe I overrated this by half a point. But it’s still really solid psychedelic stoner doom with catchy riffs and lush instrumental breaks.
- Ancient Bards // Artifex – Am I only including this one for sentimental reasons? Probably. But it does contain some of my favorite songs of the year (“My Prima Nox,” “Soulbound Symphony,” “My Blood and Blade”) that I still revisit regularly.
Song o’ the Year:
Judicator – “Concord”
#2025 #Aganoor #AnAbstractIllusion #AncientBards #Anfauglir #Antino #Antinoë #Asira #Bergfried #BlackNarcissus #BlogPosts #Braia #CaveSermon #CrimsonShadows #CripplingAlcoholism #Cryptopsy #DaxRiggs #Depravity #Diabolizer #DormantOrdeal #Gloombound #Halocraft #Igorrr #Imperishable #InMourning #Judicator #Kauan #KingWitch #Lipoma #Lists #Listurnalia #MaudTheMoth #Messa #MoronPolice #MutagenicHost #PhantomSpell #Pissgrave #Puteraeon #Structure #TymeSAndKilljoySTop10IshOf2025 #Valhalore #WyattE -
Unexplained #HeatWave ‘#Hotspots’ Are Popping Up Across the Globe
Kevin Krajick
November 26, 2024"Earth’s hottest recorded year was 2023, at 2.12 degrees F above the 20th-century average. This surpassed the previous record set in 2016. So far, the 10 hottest yearly average temperatures have occurred in the past decade. And, with the hottest summer and hottest single day, 2024 is on track to set yet another record.
"All this may not be breaking news to everyone, but amid this upward march in average temperatures, a striking new phenomenon is emerging: distinct regions are seeing repeated heat waves that are so extreme, they fall far beyond what any model of global warming can predict or explain. A new study provides the first worldwide map of such regions, which show up on every continent except Antarctica like giant, angry skin blotches. In recent years these heat waves have killed tens of thousands of people, withered crops and forests, and sparked devastating wildfires.
"'The large and unexpected margins by which recent regional-scale extremes have broken earlier records have raised questions about the degree to which climate models can provide adequate estimates of relations between global mean temperature changes and regional climate risks,' says the study.
"'This is about extreme trends that are the outcome of physical interactions we might not completely understand,' said lead author Kai Kornhuber, an adjunct scientist at the Columbia Climate School’s Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory. 'These regions become temporary hothouses.' Kornhuber is also a senior research scholar at the International Institute for Applied Systems Analysis in Austria.
"The study was just published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences."
"The study looks at heat waves over the past 65 years, identifying areas where extreme heat is accelerating considerably faster than more moderate temperatures. This often results in maximum temperatures that have been repeatedly broken by outsize, sometimes astonishing, amounts. For instance, a nine-day wave that hammered the U.S. Pacific Northwest and southwestern Canada in June 2021 broke daily records in some locales by 30 degrees C, or 54 F. This included the highest ever temperature recorded in Canada, 121.3 F, in Lytton, British Columbia. The town burned to the ground the next day in a wildfire driven in large part by the drying of vegetation in the extraordinary heat. In Oregon and Washington state, hundreds of people died from heat stroke and other health conditions.
"These extreme heat waves have been hitting predominantly in the last five years or so, though some occurred in the early 2000s or before. The most hard-hit regions include populous central China, Japan, Korea, the Arabian peninsula, eastern Australia and scattered parts of Africa. Others include Canada’s Northwest Territories and its High Arctic islands, northern Greenland, the southern end of South America and scattered patches of Siberia. Areas of Texas and New Mexico appear on the map, though they are not at the most extreme end.
"According to the report, the most intense and consistent signal comes from northwestern Europe, where sequences of heat waves contributed to some 60,000 deaths in 2022 and 47,000 deaths in 2023. These occurred across Germany, France, the United Kingdom, the Netherlands and other countries. Here, in recent years, the hottest days of the year are warming twice as fast the summer mean temperatures. The region is especially vulnerable in part because, unlike places like the United States, few people have air conditioning, because traditionally it was almost never needed. The outbreaks have continued. In September, new maximum temperature records were set in Austria, France, Hungary, Slovenia, Norway and Sweden. Well into October, many parts of the U.S. Southwest and California saw record temperatures for the month more typical of midsummer.
"The researchers call the statistical trends 'tail-widening'―that is, the anomalous occurrence of temperatures at the far upper end, or beyond, anything that would be expected with simple upward shifts in mean summer temperatures. But the phenomenon is not happening everywhere; the study shows that maximum temperatures across many other regions are actually lower than what models would predict. These include wide areas of the north-central United States and south-central Canada, interior parts of South America, much of Siberia, northern Africa and northern Australia. Heat is increasing in these regions as well, but the extremes are increasing at similar or lower speed than what changes in average would suggest.
"Climbing overall temperatures make heat waves more likely in many cases, but the causes of the extreme heat outbreaks are not entirely clear. In Europe and Russia, an earlier study led by Kornhuber blamed heat waves and droughts on wobbles in the jet stream, a fast-moving river of air that continuously circles the northern hemisphere. Hemmed in by historically frigid temperatures in the far north and much warmer ones further south, the jet stream generally confines itself to a narrow band. But the Arctic is warming on average far more quickly than most other parts of the Earth, and this appears to be destabilizing the jet stream, causing it to develop so-called Rossby waves, which suck hot air from the south and park it in temperate regions that normally do not see extreme heat for days or weeks at a time."
#RossbyWaves #Rossby #GlobalWarming #GlobalBurning #Wildfires #GlobalHotSpots #Heatwaves #ExtremeHeat #ClimateChange #ExtremeHeatwaves #ExtremeWeather
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Pygmy Hippopotamus Choeropsis liberiensis
Pygmy Hippopotamus Choeropsis liberiensis
IUCN Status: Endangered
Location: The Pygmy Hippopotamus (Choeropsis liberiensis) is found in the dense forests, swamps, and riverbanks of West Africa, primarily in Liberia, Côte d’Ivoire, Sierra Leone, and Guinea. They rely on the remaining fragments of lowland rainforest, particularly near freshwater sources, where they navigate through dense undergrowth using well-worn trails.
In the dwindling rainforests of West Africa, a rare and secretive #hippo clings to survival. The Pygmy #Hippopotamus (Choeropsis liberiensis) is a shy, nocturnal #mammal dwelling in rivers, distinct from its larger, more familiar relative, the Common Hippopotamus (Hippopotamus amphibius). Long before chubby #MooDeng 🦛💔 the baby pygmy hippo chonk became a social media sensation, the forest habitat of the beautiful pygmy #Hippo 🦛of #Guinea #Liberia 🇱🇷 #Africa was being razed for #palmoil, #cocoa and other crops. Unlike their river-dwelling cousins, Pygmy Hippos are primarily solitary, roaming through dense tropical forests in search of food. Their populations have been devastated by relentless deforestation, hunting, and habitat fragmentation, leaving them teetering on the brink of extinction. They now endangered. Such beautiful creatures deserve to be saved! There are now fewer than 2,500 individuals remaining in the wild. Fight back and #BoycottPalmOil 🌴🪔🚫 #Boycott4Wildlife every time you shop!
The forest habitat of the beautiful pygmy #Hippo 🦛of #Guinea #Liberia 🇱🇷 #Africa is being razed for #palmoil and other crops. They now endangered. Such a beautiful creature deserves to be saved! Fight back and #BoycottPalmOil 🌴🪔🚫 #Boycott4Wildlife https://wp.me/pcFhgU-Qp
Share to BlueSky Share to TwitterLong before chubby #MooDeng 🦛💔 the baby pygmy #hippo chonk became an #socialmedia sensation, #Liberia’s #forests were being pulped for #palmoil #cocoa and #tobacco #agriculture 😡 Help her and 1000s of others to survive! Be #Vegan and #Boycott4Wildlife https://wp.me/pcFhgU-Qp
Share to BlueSky Share to TwitterShare to Twitter and BlueSky!
If chubby and cute pygmy #hippo 🦛named #MooDeng could talk, she’d tell us all to stop staring at her online and instead to take action to save her home! Sign the #petition, be #Vegan and🍓🌱 #Boycottpalmoil #Boycott4Wildlife 🌴🪔🚫 @palmoildetect https://wp.me/pcFhgU-97b
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Sign PetitionAppearance and Behaviour
The Pygmy Hippopotamus is rarely seen because of their secretive, nocturnal habits and consequently not much is known of their ecology. This diminutive hippopotamus mainly inhabits lowland primary and secondary forests, close to rivers, streams and Raphia palm tree swamps sometimes being found along gallery forests extending into Transitional Woodland and the southern Guinea savanna.
Pygmy Hippos are significantly smaller than Common Hippos, standing only 70–80 cm tall at the shoulder and weighing between 180–270 kg (Saidu et al., 2022). Their compact bodies are adapted for navigating dense forests rather than open waterways. They possess smooth, hairless skin that secretes a natural mucus, acting as a protective barrier against dehydration and infection. This secretion has an unusual reddish tint, earning it the nickname “blood sweat,” though it has no connection to actual blood.
Unlike their gregarious relatives, Pygmy Hippos are solitary or found in pairs, with mothers keeping their calves hidden in secluded pools for extended periods. They are highly elusive and primarily active during twilight and nighttime hours. Camera traps in Liberia and Sierra Leone have shown that they move cautiously through forested wetlands, following well-worn trails that they mark with dung, a behaviour similar to that of their larger relatives.
Large areas of the original forest habitat, especially in Côte d’Ivoire, have been destroyed or degraded by commercial plantations of oil palm and other products, shifting cultivation, mining and logging, and hunting for bushmeat is increasing throughout the range (Mallon et al. 2011, FFI and FDA 2013).
IUCN Red List
Ecosystem Role
Pygmy Hippos play a crucial role in maintaining the health of forest ecosystems. By foraging on vegetation and dispersing seeds, they contribute to forest regeneration and seed dispersal. Their movements create pathways through dense undergrowth, benefiting other species by increasing habitat accessibility. However, their shrinking populations threaten these ecological functions, highlighting the importance of conservation efforts.
Predators
Few natural predators pose a significant threat to adult Pygmy Hippos, though young individuals are vulnerable to Leopards Panthera pardus, African Rock Pythons (Python sebae), and Nile Crocodiles Crocodylus niloticus. Camera trap evidence has also captured predation by African Golden Cats Caracal aurata and African Civet in some regions. However, human activity remains their greatest existential threat.
Threats
The Pygmy Hippopotamus Choeropsis liberiensis is facing a severe population decline due to habitat destruction, hunting, and increasing human pressures. Their remaining forested habitats are rapidly disappearing, leaving isolated populations vulnerable to extinction.
1. Deforestation and Habitat Loss
West Africa’s rainforests have been devastated by large-scale deforestation, with over 90% of the Upper Guinea Forest already lost. Shifting agriculture is the primary driver, with forests cleared at an accelerating rate to make way for crops and livestock. Expanding commercial plantations, particularly oil palm, rubber, and coffee, continue to erode remaining habitat. Mining operations, road construction, and infrastructure development have further fragmented the landscape, even encroaching into protected areas like Taï and Sapo National Parks. As human settlements expand, Pygmy Hippos are forced into smaller and more fragmented patches of forest, increasing their vulnerability.
2. Hunting and the Bushmeat Trade
Pygmy Hippos are increasingly being hunted, both opportunistically and for commercial sale. While not traditionally a primary target, they are killed for bushmeat in rural areas where alternative protein sources are scarce. Reports indicate that in some regions, commercial bushmeat markets have placed additional pressure on their populations. Their skulls, bones, and other body parts are sometimes used in traditional African medicine and spiritual practices. Additionally, free-ranging domestic dogs are known to attack and kill Pygmy Hippos, particularly young or weakened individuals.
3. Habitat Fragmentation and Isolation
The destruction of forest corridors has left Pygmy Hippo populations increasingly isolated, reducing genetic diversity and increasing the risk of local extinction. As forested areas continue to shrink, the lack of connectivity between populations means that even those in protected areas face long-term viability challenges. Habitat fragmentation also makes Pygmy Hippos more vulnerable to hunting, as roads and human settlements provide easier access to once-remote areas.
4. Competition with Humans and Livestock
With human populations in their range doubling every 20–30 years, there is ever-increasing pressure on natural resources. Domestic cattle increasingly compete with Pygmy Hippos for access to water sources, particularly during dry seasons. In many areas, pastoralists illegally graze their livestock inside national parks and reserves, further degrading critical Pygmy Hippo habitat. This competition not only depletes available resources but also increases human-wildlife conflict, often leading to retaliatory killings of Pygmy Hippos.
5. Climate Change and Environmental Pressures
Rising temperatures and prolonged dry seasons are altering the Pygmy Hippo’s habitat, reducing wetland areas essential for their survival. Changes in vegetation due to shifting rainfall patterns may further limit the availability of preferred food sources, forcing Pygmy Hippos to travel greater distances in search of sustenance. As forests become drier, wildfires pose an additional threat, accelerating habitat destruction and making remaining populations even more vulnerable.
Diet
Pygmy Hippos are herbivorous, feeding primarily on forest vegetation. They consume ferns, tender roots, leaves, and fruit from various trees and plants. Research from Tiwai Island, Sierra Leone, identified key food sources, including sweet potato leaves (Ipomoea batatas), cacao (Theobroma cacao), okra (Hibiscus esculentus), and creeping vines such as Geophila obvallata. Unlike Common Hippos, they are less dependent on aquatic vegetation and do not graze extensively on grasses.
Reproduction and Mating
Little is known about the reproductive behaviour of Pygmy Hippos in the wild. Captive studies indicate that they reach sexual maturity at around 4–5 years, with a gestation period of approximately 188 days (Lang, 1975; Tobler, 1991). Females typically give birth to a single calf, weighing between 4.5–6.2 kg. Unlike Common Hippos, Pygmy Hippos give birth on land, and calves are left hidden in secluded pools while their mothers forage (Galat-Luong, 1981).
Geographic Range
Historically, Pygmy Hippos ranged widely across West Africa, but their distribution has dramatically contracted. Today, they are found in fragmented populations in Liberia, Côte d’Ivoire, Sierra Leone, and Guinea, primarily within protected areas such as Taï National Park and Sapo National Park (Ransom, Robinson & Collen, 2015). They prefer lowland tropical forests near rivers and swamps, where dense vegetation provides cover.
FAQs
1. How many Pygmy Hippopotamuses are left in the wild?
The exact population size of the Pygmy Hippopotamus is unknown due to their elusive nature and dense forest habitat, but estimates suggest fewer than 2,500 individuals remain in the wild. Their numbers are rapidly declining due to habitat loss, hunting, and human encroachment.
2. Why are Pygmy Hippos endangered?
Pygmy Hippos are endangered primarily due to deforestation, which has destroyed over 90% of the Upper Guinea Forest, their primary habitat. Additional threats include hunting for bushmeat, competition with livestock for water, and climate change, which is altering their wetland habitats.
3. How do Pygmy Hippos differ from Common Hippos?
Unlike their larger relatives, Pygmy Hippos are more terrestrial, reclusive, and nocturnal. They are about half the size of Common Hippos, lack the same level of aggression, and are adapted to life in dense forests rather than open rivers and lakes.
4. What do Pygmy Hippos eat?
Pygmy Hippos are herbivores, feeding on a variety of plants, ferns, fruits, and aquatic vegetation. Their diet consists of tender roots, leaves, fallen fruit, and occasionally cultivated crops like sweet potatoes, okra, and cassava.
5. Do Pygmy Hippos live in groups?
No, Pygmy Hippos are mostly solitary animals. They only come together for mating or when a mother is raising her calf. Unlike Common Hippos, they do not form large social groups.
6. Where can you find Pygmy Hippos?
They are found in the forests and swamps of West Africa, specifically in Liberia, Côte d’Ivoire, Sierra Leone, and Guinea. Small, scattered populations may exist in protected areas like Taï National Park and Sapo National Park.
7. How do Pygmy Hippos mark their territory?
Pygmy Hippos use a unique method of territory marking by vigorously wagging their tail while defecating. This spreads their dung across trails and vegetation, signaling their presence to other individuals.
8. How long do Pygmy Hippos live?
In the wild, their lifespan is estimated to be around 30 years, while in captivity, they can live up to 40 years due to the absence of predators and consistent food availability.
9. Do Pygmy Hippos have predators?
Adult Pygmy Hippos have few natural predators due to their size, but young individuals are vulnerable to leopards, nile crocodiles, and African rock pythons. However, their greatest threat comes from human activities, including illegal poaching and habitat destruction.
10. Can Pygmy Hippos swim?
Yes, Pygmy Hippos are excellent swimmers and rely on water for hydration, temperature regulation, and protection from predators. However, they spend more time on land than Common Hippos and are well adapted to moving through dense forests.
11. Do Pygmy Hippos make sounds?
Pygmy Hippos communicate using a variety of sounds, including grunts, bellows, and squeaks. These vocalisations are used for warning others, mating calls, and communication between mothers and calves.
12. Are Pygmy Hippos aggressive?
Pygmy Hippos are not as aggressive as Common Hippos, but they are highly territorial and can be defensive if threatened. Their reclusive nature makes human encounters rare.
13. Are Pygmy Hippos good parents?
Yes, female Pygmy Hippos are very protective of their young. They hide their calves in dense vegetation or secluded pools while they forage, returning regularly to nurse them.
14. How do Pygmy Hippos reproduce?
Pygmy Hippos reach sexual maturity at around 3–5 years old. They have a gestation period of about six months, typically giving birth to a single calf. Twins are very rare.
15. How can we help save Pygmy Hippos?
The best way to help protect Pygmy Hippos is by supporting conservation efforts that focus on preserving their remaining rainforest habitat. Avoiding products linked to deforestation, such as palm oil, and supporting organisations working to stop illegal hunting and deforestation are crucial. Always choose products that are 100% palm oil-free to avoid contributing to biodiversity loss.
Take Action
The survival of Pygmy Hippos depends on urgent conservation action. Their habitat continues to vanish due to deforestation, mining, and agriculture. Individuals and organisations can help by:
• Boycotting palm oil to reduce habitat destruction.
• Supporting wildlife conservation efforts in West Africa, particularly initiatives that focus on habitat restoration and anti-poaching measures.
• Advocating for stronger enforcement of hunting bans and protection of remaining forest areas.
• Educating local communities on the importance of conserving Pygmy Hippos and providing alternative livelihoods to reduce hunting pressure.
Always choose products that are 100% palm oil-free to avoid contributing to deforestation and biodiversity loss.
Support the conservation of this species
Further Information
Avedik, A., & Clauss, M. (2023). Chewing, dentition and tooth wear in Hippopotamidae (Hippopotamus amphibius and Choeropsis liberiensis). PLOS ONE, 18(10), e0291825. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0291825
Eltringham, S. K. (1999). The Hippos: Natural History and Conservation. Academic Press. https://books.google.com.au/books/about/The_Hippos.html
Erazo-Mera, E., Younes, N., Horwood, P. F., Paris, D., Paris, M., & Murray, N. (2023). Forest loss during 2000–2019 in pygmy hippopotamus (Choeropsis liberiensis) habitats was driven by shifting agriculture. Environmental Conservation, 51(1), 55-63. https://doi.org/10.1017/S0376892923000310
Ransom, C, Robinson, P.T. & Collen, B. 2015. Choeropsis liberiensis. The IUCN Red List of Threatened Species 2015: e.T10032A18567171. https://dx.doi.org/10.2305/IUCN.UK.2015-2.RLTS.T10032A18567171.en. Downloaded on 15 February 2021
Saidu, J. B., Adewumi, A. A., Lameed, G. A., & Udo, A. J. (2022). Food preference of pygmy hippopotamus (Choeropsis liberiensis) in the Tiwai Island edge communities, South-Eastern Sierra Leone. Environtropica, 17, 014-026. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/386552939
Pygmy Hippopotamus Choeropsis liberiensis
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Tyme’s and Killjoy’s Top Ten(ish) of 2025 By Steel DruhmTyme
I’ve spent much of my 2025 thinking about privilege. Not in the sense that the media has conditioned me, or us, to think about it, but in a way that I’ve employed to shift some of the mundane aspects of life onto their respective heads. For instance, it’s a privilege to look in my closet and have to decide what to wear each day. It’s a privilege to look in my kitchen pantry to figure out what I’ll eat for breakfast or, better yet, which coffee cup I’ll drink from. I could go on, but there’s a word limit to these intros. Suffice to say, I really tried to dwell on my blessings rather than my challenges this year.
And despite the blessings of my professional life, which bestowed upon me the incredible privilege of being really fucking busy for the last “whatever” number of months, I’ve been equally, yet much less facetiously, blessed in my personal endeavors as well. For, in addition to having a bountiful roof over my head, a vehicle to get me back and forth to my extremely privileged job, a dog I can honestly say I will have NO idea how to say goodbye to if I don’t go first, and a wife that, despite the ups and downs of a normal, healthy marriage, continues to love me, I have the distinct privilege of contributing my trve opinions on all things musically heavy, or adjacently heavy, here on the best heavy metal blog in the world! And now comes the part where I give thanks.
Thank you, first and foremost, to everyone who reads this blog every day. Without you, none of this would be worth doing. At least for me, who read, lurked, and commented for years before working up the courage to actually apply for this subservient existence. Thank you to this newest crop of freshly demoted n00bs and to my list mate Killjoy and the rest of the Freezer Freaks Crew—Alekhines Gun, Owlswald, and Clarkkent1—who, through perseverance and a buttload of patience, managed to survive nearly two years on ice to land in the crosshairs of the commentariat’s adverse, and always wrong, opinions.2,3 Thanks as well, to ALL the senior staff who are way nicer than they’d have you believe,4 except Grier, who’s even nicer than everyone else. And finally, the editors, the man himself, Dr. AMG, for seeing enough in me to bring me over, and Steel, who runs the tightest, most compassionate ship I’ve ever had the privilege of sailing on. Thanks, boss!
Now! To the LIST!!!
#ish. Antinoë // The Fold – When I snagged this late-year gem back in November, I had no idea it would have me shuffling my list. With a little more time, I’m sure it would have moved up the ladder, but as it stands, Antinoë grabbed my (ish) spot easily. With little to no instrumentation beyond her piano, Teresa Marraco crafted something so beautiful in its basic-ness that I was entranced. Her delicate melodies evoke vibes that are as much Darkher or Tori Amos5 as they are Emperor or Dimmu Borgir, and I am definitely here for it.
#10. King Witch // III – In a year when Messa released a new album as well, the fact that King Witch is sitting on my year-end proper list and not Sara Bianchin and company speaks volumes about the job Laura Donnelly, Jamie Gilchrist, and Rory Lee did on III. Whether crooning over wispy acoustics or belting out doomily powerful tones over rock-heavy riffs, Donnelly is the star of the show, and her performance had me swooning. From the minute I first heard “Suffer in Life” with its swing-heavy riffs and killer vocals, I was happy to take King Witch’s III for a spin over and over, and it’s been part of my regular rotation since summer.
#9. Imperishable // Revelation in Purity – As the year wore on, I became increasingly sure that I may have underrated Imperishable’s Revelation in Purity. In fact, I found myself returning to it several times, forgoing subsequent spins of albums I’d rated higher. With their Nile and Olkoth pedigree, Imperishable’s expert blend of blackened death metal hit an overtly swirling sweet spot for me. The songwriting on Revelation in Purity, while not groundbreaking, is expertly executed, rendering its quality undeniable. And when you toss in those very Alice in Chains-like grunge passages, akin to a cherry on top, it was easy for me to put Revelation in Purity on my year-end list.
#8. Mutagenic Host // The Diseased Machine – Mutagenic Host’s The Diseased Machine was the first album I successfully coveted and secured from the sump pit alllll the way back in January of this year. As a freshly demoted staff member at the time, I was overly excited at the opportunity to take it on, and the album surely didn’t disappoint. Mutagenic Host does death metal the way I like it: low-brow, Neanderthalic, and brutally chuggy. It’s a tenuous thing to run across something you deem so good so early in the year, but The Diseased Machine has definitely stood the test of Tyme and proved worth every point of the quarter-pounder I placed on it.
#7. Igorrr // Amen – My fancy with Igorrr has always been somewhat of a passing one. I was nowhere near the listener who would’ve been part of the band’s early target audience (Mousissure, Nostril). Still, I found more common ground with 2017’s Savage Sinusoid and even more with 2020’s Spirituality and Distortion. But when those first electronic beats of Amen’s opening track, “Daemoni,” poured out of my speakers for the first time, I was completely plugged in to Igorrr’s chaotically beautiful brand of metal madness. Amen’s surprisingly accessible break-cored, trip-hopped blackened death ‘baroque’ it’s big boot off in my ass, and I’ve been relishing and wallowing in its avant-garde pain ever since.
#6. Cave Sermon // Fragile Wings – Cave Sermon’s Divine Laughter was something I’d definitely missed out on in 2024. When Thus Spoke covered Cave Sermon’s rapid follow-up, Fragile Wings, in April, however, I vowed I wouldn’t sleep on Charlie Park’s solo black metal project this time around. And I’m certainly glad I didn’t. Words like ‘wistful,’ ‘exuberant,’ and ‘playful’ were tossed about in Thus’s excellent write-up and really homed in on what made listening to Fragile Wings such a connective experience for me. Imbued as Fragile Wings is with upbeat sadness, Cave Sermon proved that I can get on board with post metal, and to be honest, any metal that sounds this good is worth the time spent. And seriously, what is that cover?!6
#5. Crippling Alcoholism // Camgirl – Inspired by a subreddit I’m glad I never stumbled across, Crippling Alcoholism’s provocative moniker steels those who’d approach the band’s output with a certain sense of visceral anticipation before hearing even one note. My love for the disturbingly creepy With Love from a Padded Room led me to the pink, candy-wrapped murderpop of Camgirl with nary a moment’s hesitation. I gladly signed on to plumb the depths of weirdness I knew would exist, but could not have anticipated the absolute fathomless darkness lurking within Camgirl’s saccharine sweetness, especially as revealed with subsequent spins. A disturbing diatribe on hopelessness, disappointment, loneliness, and sex in the digital age, Camgirl wraps its message in a deceivingly poppy form of electronica that, when all is said and done, will have you wondering what the fuck just happened. I love it.
#4. Dax Riggs // 7 Songs for Spiders – Dax Riggs may be one of the more underrated artists of the last thirty years, and while I know I’m not the only one who rejoiced in the recent resurgence and subsequent touring schedule of one of the ’90s best sludge acts, Acid Bath, I also realized a new album will probably never materialize, at least not under that moniker. Instead, the universe graced us with 7 Songs for Spiders, Dax’s first solo effort in nearly 15 years. Filled with simplistically haunting melodies sung in Riggs’s inimitable style, 7 Songs for Spiders strummed every one of my fuzzed-out, laid-back heart strings and has remained consistently satisfying since its January release.
#3. Maud the Moth // The Distaff – I stumbled across Maud the Moth in 2023 while exploring the ever-expanding milieu of performers associated with my favorite artist Darkher. Searching Amaya López-Carromoero’s back catalog, I dove into 2015’s The Inner Wastelands and 2020’s Orphnē, emerging a fan of Maud the Moth’s quirky neo-classical piano-led operatics. When The Distaff popped up in the sump, I was glad to see Dolphin Whisperer snag it, knowing his words would do the album eloquent justice. Soaring in scope and execution, Maud the Moth proffers her most complex yet beautiful release to date. Filled with classically executed vocal acrobatics and massive amounts of intricate instrumentation, The Distaff is less a thing just to be listened to, as it is a thing to be wholly experienced. As immersive a piece of music as I’ve heard all year.
#2. Structure // Heritage – M-A-S-S-I-V-E is the word that best describes Structure’s Heritage, which is to say it’s big, sad, and “heavy as fook!”7 Every time I threw this beast on, and the album opener began crawling forth, it conjured the same cinematic image in my mind’s eye. A lone, bloodied warrior, fists clenched, head bowed, wind-swept and rain-soaked hair hanging down, muscles taut and twitching in furious sadness, standing in a field full of his fallen brethren as a lightning-laced deluge washed the blood of dead soldiers into the hungry ground. Then, slowly, he casts his gaze skyward, anguished tears streaming, contemplating his sole survivor existence, and screaming at the thunder-filled heavens “Will I deserve to live on?” Every time, that’s what I see when I listen to “Will I Deserve It,” and every time I break out in goose bumps with a lumpy throat and welling eyes. Heritage came as close to being my number one as to make the two offerings at the top of my 2025 list nearly interchangeable.
#1. Dormant Ordeal // Tooth and Nail – I know I underrated Dormant Ordeal’s fourth album, Tooth and Nail, for, despite giving it the 4.0 treatment, the sheer excellence of this record has only improved over time. April was THE month for me this year, yielding my two favorite metal releases and leaving Poland’s metal map deeply staked with a big, black-and-gold Dormant Ordeal flag. In true, warrior-like fashion, Maciej Nieścioruk and Maciej Proficz soldiered on without sole founding member Radek Kowal, which opened the door for Chase Westmoreland to waltz in and give my favorite drum performance of the year. From the brutally effective “Halo of Bones” to the excellent, Dylan Thomas-inspired “Against the Dying of the Light,” there wasn’t an album I returned to more this year than Tooth and Nail, its visceral riffs and razor-sharp edges leaving long-lasting scars. But in a good way, you know? It’s with profound pleasure that I dutifully crown Dormant Ordeal’s Tooth and Nail my album of the year.
Honorable Mentions
- Cryptopsy // An Insatiable Violence – This thing is an ass kicker. Full of satisfying death metal brutality and, like it or not, my favorite since the classic None So Vile.
- Pissgrave // Malignant Worthlessness – Thirty-one minutes of absolutely insane death metal that will melt your ears into maggot-infested pus. Soooooo good.
- Messa // The Spin – It’s Messa, fool! ‘Nuff said. There was no way I was getting out of 2025’s Listurnalia without mentioning the new album from one of my favorite doom bands.
- Depravity // Bestial Possession – This thing blew my socks off and, had I gotten more time to spend with it, might have threatened to rattle the cage of my list order for sure. Death metal done right.
- Diabolizer // Murderous Revelations – I had been in a death metal drought when I picked up Murderous Revelations; its traditional, no-frills approach hitting me hard. This one came so close to listing for me, I could smell its charred, crispy, burnt ends.
- Lipoma // No Cure for the Sick – Gurgly gore vocals over a circus parade of melodic death metal riffs. What’s not to like? I had tons of fun with this thing.
- Puteraeon // Mountains of Madness – Puteraeon was a band that had never been on my radar. Mountains of Madness’s mature aesthetic, great storyline, and engagingly crafted melodicism took me entirely by surprise.
Song o’ the Year:
‘Twas a mother-fookin’ toss up between my top 2 albums. I flipped a coin, so close was the race. (Heads) Structure // (Tails) Dormant Ordeal.
WINNER(?):
Structure – “Will I Deserve It” – Satisfyingly goose-bumpy!8
Killjoy
The fact that I’m writing this list feels nothing short of surreal. When I became a regular reader of this blog in 2019, I had a strong interest in metal but a knowledge of only a handful of its subgenres. I did not expect to make it this far when I auditioned, but somehow I became a member of the Freezer Crew. Although we were initially forced to huddle together for warmth to survive the n00b trials, as time went on, I developed a deep respect for all of my Crewmates. Their camaraderie and encouragement were great motivation for me to keep writing this year, even when it was tough. We were even allowed to organize a special edition Rodeö! I’m so proud to associate with them.
On a more somber note, I was sad to see many of the longtime writers who helped me fall in love with this site slip into the abyss we sometimes call “non-suspicious sabbatical.” While I will miss reading their eloquent words, their legacy and contributions will always influence and inspire me.
And now for some thank yous. I’m grateful to AMG Himself for creating the site and allowing me to run rampant with my questionable opinions. A gorilla-sized thanks to Steel Druhm for keeping day-to-day operations running and being the kindest, cruelest taskmaster I could hope for. Thank you to my list mate, Tyme, for making my musical tastes seem better by association. Finally, I’d like to publicly thank my wife for being so supportive of my new hobby.
I’m excited for what awaits in 2026 (which hopefully includes more power metal than I managed to review in 2025)!
#ish. Kauan // Wayhome – Kauan has demonstrated time and again that their ability to compose evocative soundscapes is unmatched in the post-rock sphere. Wayhome draws a little bit from different eras in Kauan’s fruitful career to form a richer, warmer experience. Each individual instrument—acoustic and electric guitars, strings, voice—is a crucial brush stroke in a breathtaking panorama. This is some of the most enchanting music I’ve ever heard.
#10. Anfauglir // Akallabêth – When I first grabbed Akallabêth for review, I was blissfully unaware of the 72-minute runtime (but probably should have had an inkling). After spending some time with it, I became blissfully aware of how awesome it is. Based on the chapter of Tolkien’s The Silmarillion chronicling the 3,000-year rise and fall of the island of Númenor, Akallabêth is as epic in sound as it is in scope. Mrs. Killjoy was more interested in the concept than the music, but it still made for some fun conversations. While the long runtime makes it a bit harder to revisit than the other entries on this list, this is my idea of a great symphonic black metal album.
#9. In Mourning // The Immortal – Progressive death metal comes in all shapes and sizes, and I tend to be drawn to the more emotive flavors. When Disillusion released Ayam a few years ago, it took me a while to understand the hype. In a similar manner, it took longer than it probably should have for me to appreciate The Immortal. I don’t know why this was, but in both cases I’m glad I stuck with them. In Mourning’s signature combination of earnest melodies and energetic riffs is now embedded in my mind and heart.
#8. Asira // As Ink in Water – Due to journalistic circumstances that I won’t discuss with fans, I was fortunate enough to obtain this promo earlier than I normally would have. Good thing, too, because As Ink in Water turned out to be a grower for me. The vocals proved much less popular in the comments than I anticipated, but they are the biggest reason why this record resonates with me. The buttery-smooth guitar and bass lines are another big factor. The fact that As Ink in Water was released during the tail end of 2025 might mean it appears on fewer top ten lists, but it should not be missed.
#7. Judicator // Concord – I don’t have a long history with Judicator. I am part of the seemingly small minority that prefers the post-Cordisco era, although I admit that I need to spend more time with their earlier work. Concord sees Judicator returning to their heavy/power metal roots after an experimental foray into progressive territory (which I also loved!). Other than brief saxophone and fiddle segments, there aren’t any fancy frills this time, only lots of guitar hooks and infectious choruses. And, in this case, that’s more than enough to make me happy.
#6. Valhalore // Beyond the Stars – I don’t normally see the point in quibbling about scores, however, I feel that Beyond the Stars was soundly underrated. It’s a distillation of everything I love about peak Eluveitie and Æther Realm. The folk instrumentation blends perfectly with the fast-paced melodic death metal elements. The interludes cleverly foreshadow and ease the listener into the subsequent songs. I also love the tender vocal performance by Anna Murphy towards the end. Beyond the Stars is a fun and emotional journey from start to finish.
#5. Gloombound // Dreaming Delusion – I’m always down to sample funeral doom, but it takes a very special kind to keep me coming back. Gloombound expertly walks the difficult balance between atmospheric and stimulating music. The overall sound is that of a soul trying to escape imprisonment, whether physical, emotional, or mental. Dreaming Delusion makes me feel different emotions every time I listen, but chief among them is a crushing awe.
#4. Phantom Spell // Heather & Hearth – I love uplifting, feel-good metal (this should not come as a surprise by now). So, it was almost inevitable that I would love the nostalgic keyboards and guitar solos of Heather & Hearth. But, for some reason, it took AMG’s landmark blog post about the evils of Spotify for me to really pay attention to Phantom Spell. I’m grateful I did, because I might have missed out on one of the most addictive pieces of progressive rock I’ve ever heard.
#3. Halocraft // The Sky Will Remember – Halocraft quickly became one of my favorite bands since I discovered them early this year. Their purposeful yet dreamy brand of post-rock is practically custom-made for me. This year, they expanded their creative limits by writing two very different records. I’m partial to The Sky Will Remember, but don’t miss out on its companion, To Leave a Single Wolf Alive, for a gloomier vibe. Their prior albums are really good too, and I listen to them just as often.
#2. An Abstract Illusion // The Sleeping City – “If not 4.5, then why 4.5 shaped?”, one of you rabble-rousers quipped about my review of The Sleeping City. The truth is, the more time I spend with it, the more I wonder if maybe I did underrate it. I’ve somehow grown to love The Sleeping City even more in the months since I awarded it a 4.0. Sure, the production leaves much to be desired, but there aren’t any other notable qualities that I would consider faults. It won’t appeal to the exact same audience as the legendary Woe, but I have plenty of room in my heart for both (and likely whatever An Abstract Illusion devises next). It was such an honor to write about this wondrous record.
#1. Black Narcissus // There Lingers One Who’s Long Forgotten – When I plucked There Lingers One Who’s Long Forgotten from the promo pit, I was a little skeptical about music made with only bass and drums. It turns out, though, that this minimalist approach—along with excellent songwriting, of course—was the key to unlocking a new realm of possibility within the post-rock genre. The bass blooms unfettered in this distraction-free biome, and the drum tone is crisp and refreshing. The two instruments intertwine to engender a spirit of companionship and exploration. There Lingers One Who’s Long Forgotten will always have a special place in my heart, and I am grateful to Black Narcissus for sharing this gift.
Honorable Mentions:
- Crimson Shadows // Whispers of War – As a parent of two children under age five, I am not often in the mood to be overstimulated by the media I consume. However, Whispers of War is so fun that I have to make an exception. The addition of melodic death metal feels like such a natural progression to the signature DragonForce style that conquered my naive teenage heart circa Guitar Hero III.
- Wyatt E. // Zamāru Ultu Qereb Ziqquratu Part 1 – My very first score safety violation! After spending more time with it, I can understand how some might see this as incomplete or underdeveloped, though I’m willing to give Wyatt E. the benefit of the doubt while I wait for Part 2.
- Bergfried // Romantik III – I’m a sucker for a good rock opera. Romantik III is undeniably rough around the edges, but not in a way that rubs off any of its charm. To the contrary, in my opinion.
- Moron Police // Pachinko – Talk about a late-year list disruptor! Pachinko is a wild and addictive whirlwind of prog/pop rock that I know for a fact I’ll still be spinning next year.
- Braia // Vertentes de lá e cá – Vibrant folk rock with a huge array of instruments and musical influences. This didn’t get nearly as much attention as it deserves.
- Aganoor // Doomerism – Okay, maaaaybe I overrated this by half a point. But it’s still really solid psychedelic stoner doom with catchy riffs and lush instrumental breaks.
- Ancient Bards // Artifex – Am I only including this one for sentimental reasons? Probably. But it does contain some of my favorite songs of the year (“My Prima Nox,” “Soulbound Symphony,” “My Blood and Blade”) that I still revisit regularly.
Song o’ the Year:
Judicator – “Concord”
#2025 #Aganoor #AnAbstractIllusion #AncientBards #Anfauglir #Antino #Antinoë #Asira #Bergfried #BlackNarcissus #BlogPosts #Braia #CaveSermon #CrimsonShadows #CripplingAlcoholism #Cryptopsy #DaxRiggs #Depravity #Diabolizer #DormantOrdeal #Gloombound #Halocraft #Igorrr #Imperishable #InMourning #Judicator #Kauan #KingWitch #Lipoma #Lists #Listurnalia #MaudTheMoth #Messa #MoronPolice #MutagenicHost #PhantomSpell #Pissgrave #Puteraeon #Structure #TymeSAndKilljoySTop10IshOf2025 #Valhalore #WyattE -
A list of animals who
The recent death of the great Jane Goodall brought me back to an old post about the use of who-pronouns with non-human animals, as in ‘swallows who flew past her window’, as opposed to ‘swallows that/which flew past her window’.
Goodall’s first scientific paper was returned to her with who replaced by which, and he or she replaced by it, in reference to chimpanzees. Goodall promptly reinstated her choice of pronouns, presumably seeing them as markers of the animals’ intrinsic value, and their substitution as an unwarranted moral demotion.1
Since then I’ve made note of other examples of animals who that I’ve read in books.2 This post compiles them in one place, where they form a kind of homemade menagerie of zoolinguistic solidarity. It extends, as we have seen, to swallows:
She watched the sudden, fast shadows of swallows who flew past her window in fleeting pairs, subtracting light from her room, and marvelled how living things could suspend themselves in mid-air. (Claire Keegan, ‘Men and Women’, in Antarctica)
And, from the same writer, sheep:
I sit by the window and keep an eye on the sheep who stare, bewildered, from the car.
Ducks:
‘At the place [. . .] where timid ducks, who must have been through some experiences in the ugly little gravel pool of the never-completed excavation, flew away from me . . . (Werner Herzog, Every Man for Himself and God Against All)
Cows:
I do not care for animals, except for cows, who combine supreme usefulness with a rustic kind of beauty. (Maeve Kelly, ‘The Sentimentalist’, in Orange Horses)
Kingfishers and otters:
In now distant days Iris used to return to Steeple Aston or Hartley Road full of her visit to them, and of what they had told her about their Welsh cottage, a converted schoolhouse. They told her of the pool they had built in the field behind it, the kingfishers and otters who came to visit there. (John Bayley, Iris: A Memoir of Iris Murdoch)
Rabbits:
Who was the more frightened between them? (Nicola Barker, Wide Open, when a woman is startled to meet a rabbit in a kitchen)
Tadpoles (first which, then who):
And we presented her with gallons of frogspawn which duly turned into tadpoles, which ate each other until there were just a few fat cannibal monsters left, all black belly and no sign of legs, who got poured down the sink. (Lorna Sage, Bad Blood)
Bonobos:
The researchers’ most spectacular success has been with Kanzi, a bonobo (a species closely related to chimpanzees) who apparently learned lexigrams spontaneously as an infant while watching his mother being trained. (Abby Kaplan, Women Talk More than Men: …And Other Myths about Language Explained)
Chimpanzees:
In the study by Hirata and Fuwa (2006), for example, chimpanzees who did not solicit other chimpanzees to engage in a group activity quite readily solicited a presumably more helpful human. (Michael Tomasello, Origins of Human Communication)
I make piles, like the chimp who thought he was a human. (Sara Baume, A Line Made by Walking)
Foxes:
And I look out for the fox, the fox who dropped me a rat. (Baume again)
Aardwolves and aasvogels (that’s right, aardwolves and aasvogels):
The aardvark is a peculiar African mammal whose equally peculiar double-A name has earned it its prestigious position as the first animal in the dictionary. Spare a thought, then, for its alphabetical next-door neighbours, the aardwolf and aasvogel, who are pipped into second and third place . . . (Paul Anthony Jones, Word Drops)
Horses:
But still they did not stop the mare, who cantered gaily onward. (Mary Lavin, ‘The Joy-Ride’, in In a Café)
It’s not just stallions who can become aggressive if they’re raised alone. (Temple Grandin and Catherine Johnson, Animals in Translation: Using the Mysteries of Autism to Decode Animal Behaviour)
Pigs:
The sides of the pen are solid, so the other pigs can’t reach their snouts inside and bite the tail or rear end of the pig who’s eating. (Grandin and Johnson again)
Animals generally:
All animals who live in groups – and that is most mammals – form dominance hierarchies. (Grandin and Johnson)
Consider, he [Michael Trestman] says, the category of animals who have complex active bodies. These are animals who can move quickly, and who can seize and manipulate objects. (Peter Godfrey-Smith, Other Minds: The Octopus and the Evolution of Intelligent Life)
If it is a number of animals who are being chased, and if the pack succeeds in surrounding them, then their mass flight turns into a panic, each of the hunted animals will try to escape on its own from the circle of its enemies. (Elias Canetti, Crowds and Power, translated from the German by Carol Stewart)
Wolves:
Wolves vary their hunting techniques, share food with the old who so not hunt, and give gifts to each other. (Barry Lopez, Of Wolves and Men)
A wolf who remains with his or her parents and helps raise their next litter is an alloparent. (Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson and Susan McCarthy’s When Elephants Weep: The Emotional Lives of Animals)
(Many different animals are treated thus in Moussaieff Masson and McCarthy’s book, but I neglected to keep track, aside from the example above.)
Dogs, of course, are often so honoured – the most frequently so of all the animals in Gilquin and Jacobs’s data set (footnote 1):
They could care less that I once had a dog named Woodsprite who was crushed by a backhoe. (George Saunders, ‘The 400-Pound CEO’, in CivilWarLand in Bad Decline)
The same thing applied to the first three time dogs, two of whom had actually been the favourites. (James Kelman, ‘A wide runner’, in Not Not While the Giro)
Most senses require two of things – eyes, ears, hands. But we only have one nose. This is, again, to stop us smelling dogs so much, who stink. (Philomena Cunk, Cunk on Everything: The Encyclopedia Philomena)
Molly Keane explicitly calls dogs people, in both The Rising Tide:
The only people to whom she was a little kind were her dogs and Diana.
and Loving and Giving:
The dogs loved him as he loved them. They flew to his beautiful whistle, even when on the hot line of a rabbit. Nettle, the Killer, a fierce opinionated person who would have been hero of a rat-pit had Silly Willie been sweeping chimneys, was, of the three, his favourite.
Nuala Ní Chonchúir, similarly, uses someone in reference to a dog in You:
Sinbad goes banana-boats when he sees you through the balcony door. [. . .] You kneel down on the rug and let him lick your nose with his smelly tongue. That’s how dogs kiss each other. Then you remember that they also lick each other’s bums, so you don’t let him do it any more. Still, at least someone’s glad to see you.
Even an ant can be ‘someone’:
Last week my little nephew said to his father: “Look, someone is walking under the table.” The father, thinking that his son had had a hallucination, looked under the table and saw – an ant! For the child, an ant was “someone.” I, too, have never doubted that I am one animal among others. (from ‘A Talk with Konrad Lorenz’, in In the Modern Idiom: An Introduction to Literature, ed. Leo Hamalian & Arthur Zeiger)
Rats:
The worst thing about rats, says Steve, ‘is waiting for that big wet slap on your back’. ‘No,’ says Kevin, ‘it’s knowing you’re being watched but not knowing who’s watching and from where.’ London’s sewer rats generally run away from humans. New York’s don’t. (Rose George, The Big Necessity: Adventures in the World of Human Waste)
If you thought rats were unexpected, try trees:
Mycorrhizal fungi have coevolved with trees, with whom they’ve worked out a mutually beneficial relationship in which they trade the products of their very different metabolisms. (Michael Pollan, The Omnivore’s Dilemma)
As soon as the bright sunlight increases the rate of photosynthesis and stimulates growth, the buds of those who have shot up receive more sugar. (The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben, translated from the German by Jane Billinghurst)
And rivers: I’ve yet to read Robert Macfarlane’s book Is a River Alive?, but I saw an excerpt that referred to meeting ‘a living, threatened river who flows from the roadless boreal forest to the sea’. These non-human, non-animal examples align with a movement to grant living systems legal rights – chiefly to protect them from destructive human action.
The menagerie could be greatly enlarged by adding examples from other sources: conversations, letters and emails, social media, the internet generally, language corpora, etc. But this thin slice is based solely on offline reading because that’s how I often pattern my notes.
Using who or personal pronouns is not something I do automatically when referring to animals. Sometimes which, that, or it seems more apt, or I could go either way, depending on context. In footnote 2 I instinctively used which in reference to sharks and decided to leave it be.
I’m sure my usage is inconsistent – it’s one of those grey areas in language that I find interesting. Maybe it’s something you’ve noticed in your own usage. In any case, it’s fun to see new animals join the who club (or the very important person club). All it needs now is some fungi and microbes.
*
1 I learned about this incident from Gaëtanelle Gilquin and George M. Jacobs’s paper ‘Elephants Who Marry Mice are Very Unusual: The Use of the Relative Pronoun Who with Nonhuman Animals’. It has lots of data-informed commentary and is well worth reading if this topic interests you.
2 Examples do occur in films and other media, naturally. There’s a fun one in Batman: The Movie (1966) when Batman, after being attacked by a shark, which then explodes, says at a press conference: ‘That was an unfortunate animal who chanced to swallow a floating mine.’ The DVD subtitles change the line, or I’d have included an image.
#anaphora #animals #birds #books #grammar #JaneGoodall #language #literature #nature #pronouns #relativePronouns #usage #which #who #writing
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Unexplained #HeatWave ‘#Hotspots’ Are Popping Up Across the Globe
Kevin Krajick
November 26, 2024"Earth’s hottest recorded year was 2023, at 2.12 degrees F above the 20th-century average. This surpassed the previous record set in 2016. So far, the 10 hottest yearly average temperatures have occurred in the past decade. And, with the hottest summer and hottest single day, 2024 is on track to set yet another record.
"All this may not be breaking news to everyone, but amid this upward march in average temperatures, a striking new phenomenon is emerging: distinct regions are seeing repeated heat waves that are so extreme, they fall far beyond what any model of global warming can predict or explain. A new study provides the first worldwide map of such regions, which show up on every continent except Antarctica like giant, angry skin blotches. In recent years these heat waves have killed tens of thousands of people, withered crops and forests, and sparked devastating wildfires.
"'The large and unexpected margins by which recent regional-scale extremes have broken earlier records have raised questions about the degree to which climate models can provide adequate estimates of relations between global mean temperature changes and regional climate risks,' says the study.
"'This is about extreme trends that are the outcome of physical interactions we might not completely understand,' said lead author Kai Kornhuber, an adjunct scientist at the Columbia Climate School’s Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory. 'These regions become temporary hothouses.' Kornhuber is also a senior research scholar at the International Institute for Applied Systems Analysis in Austria.
"The study was just published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences."
"The study looks at heat waves over the past 65 years, identifying areas where extreme heat is accelerating considerably faster than more moderate temperatures. This often results in maximum temperatures that have been repeatedly broken by outsize, sometimes astonishing, amounts. For instance, a nine-day wave that hammered the U.S. Pacific Northwest and southwestern Canada in June 2021 broke daily records in some locales by 30 degrees C, or 54 F. This included the highest ever temperature recorded in Canada, 121.3 F, in Lytton, British Columbia. The town burned to the ground the next day in a wildfire driven in large part by the drying of vegetation in the extraordinary heat. In Oregon and Washington state, hundreds of people died from heat stroke and other health conditions.
"These extreme heat waves have been hitting predominantly in the last five years or so, though some occurred in the early 2000s or before. The most hard-hit regions include populous central China, Japan, Korea, the Arabian peninsula, eastern Australia and scattered parts of Africa. Others include Canada’s Northwest Territories and its High Arctic islands, northern Greenland, the southern end of South America and scattered patches of Siberia. Areas of Texas and New Mexico appear on the map, though they are not at the most extreme end.
"According to the report, the most intense and consistent signal comes from northwestern Europe, where sequences of heat waves contributed to some 60,000 deaths in 2022 and 47,000 deaths in 2023. These occurred across Germany, France, the United Kingdom, the Netherlands and other countries. Here, in recent years, the hottest days of the year are warming twice as fast the summer mean temperatures. The region is especially vulnerable in part because, unlike places like the United States, few people have air conditioning, because traditionally it was almost never needed. The outbreaks have continued. In September, new maximum temperature records were set in Austria, France, Hungary, Slovenia, Norway and Sweden. Well into October, many parts of the U.S. Southwest and California saw record temperatures for the month more typical of midsummer.
"The researchers call the statistical trends 'tail-widening'―that is, the anomalous occurrence of temperatures at the far upper end, or beyond, anything that would be expected with simple upward shifts in mean summer temperatures. But the phenomenon is not happening everywhere; the study shows that maximum temperatures across many other regions are actually lower than what models would predict. These include wide areas of the north-central United States and south-central Canada, interior parts of South America, much of Siberia, northern Africa and northern Australia. Heat is increasing in these regions as well, but the extremes are increasing at similar or lower speed than what changes in average would suggest.
"Climbing overall temperatures make heat waves more likely in many cases, but the causes of the extreme heat outbreaks are not entirely clear. In Europe and Russia, an earlier study led by Kornhuber blamed heat waves and droughts on wobbles in the jet stream, a fast-moving river of air that continuously circles the northern hemisphere. Hemmed in by historically frigid temperatures in the far north and much warmer ones further south, the jet stream generally confines itself to a narrow band. But the Arctic is warming on average far more quickly than most other parts of the Earth, and this appears to be destabilizing the jet stream, causing it to develop so-called Rossby waves, which suck hot air from the south and park it in temperate regions that normally do not see extreme heat for days or weeks at a time."
#RossbyWaves #Rossby #GlobalWarming #GlobalBurning #Wildfires #GlobalHotSpots #Heatwaves #ExtremeHeat #ClimateChange #ExtremeHeatwaves #ExtremeWeather
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Unexplained #HeatWave ‘#Hotspots’ Are Popping Up Across the Globe
Kevin Krajick
November 26, 2024"Earth’s hottest recorded year was 2023, at 2.12 degrees F above the 20th-century average. This surpassed the previous record set in 2016. So far, the 10 hottest yearly average temperatures have occurred in the past decade. And, with the hottest summer and hottest single day, 2024 is on track to set yet another record.
"All this may not be breaking news to everyone, but amid this upward march in average temperatures, a striking new phenomenon is emerging: distinct regions are seeing repeated heat waves that are so extreme, they fall far beyond what any model of global warming can predict or explain. A new study provides the first worldwide map of such regions, which show up on every continent except Antarctica like giant, angry skin blotches. In recent years these heat waves have killed tens of thousands of people, withered crops and forests, and sparked devastating wildfires.
"'The large and unexpected margins by which recent regional-scale extremes have broken earlier records have raised questions about the degree to which climate models can provide adequate estimates of relations between global mean temperature changes and regional climate risks,' says the study.
"'This is about extreme trends that are the outcome of physical interactions we might not completely understand,' said lead author Kai Kornhuber, an adjunct scientist at the Columbia Climate School’s Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory. 'These regions become temporary hothouses.' Kornhuber is also a senior research scholar at the International Institute for Applied Systems Analysis in Austria.
"The study was just published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences."
"The study looks at heat waves over the past 65 years, identifying areas where extreme heat is accelerating considerably faster than more moderate temperatures. This often results in maximum temperatures that have been repeatedly broken by outsize, sometimes astonishing, amounts. For instance, a nine-day wave that hammered the U.S. Pacific Northwest and southwestern Canada in June 2021 broke daily records in some locales by 30 degrees C, or 54 F. This included the highest ever temperature recorded in Canada, 121.3 F, in Lytton, British Columbia. The town burned to the ground the next day in a wildfire driven in large part by the drying of vegetation in the extraordinary heat. In Oregon and Washington state, hundreds of people died from heat stroke and other health conditions.
"These extreme heat waves have been hitting predominantly in the last five years or so, though some occurred in the early 2000s or before. The most hard-hit regions include populous central China, Japan, Korea, the Arabian peninsula, eastern Australia and scattered parts of Africa. Others include Canada’s Northwest Territories and its High Arctic islands, northern Greenland, the southern end of South America and scattered patches of Siberia. Areas of Texas and New Mexico appear on the map, though they are not at the most extreme end.
"According to the report, the most intense and consistent signal comes from northwestern Europe, where sequences of heat waves contributed to some 60,000 deaths in 2022 and 47,000 deaths in 2023. These occurred across Germany, France, the United Kingdom, the Netherlands and other countries. Here, in recent years, the hottest days of the year are warming twice as fast the summer mean temperatures. The region is especially vulnerable in part because, unlike places like the United States, few people have air conditioning, because traditionally it was almost never needed. The outbreaks have continued. In September, new maximum temperature records were set in Austria, France, Hungary, Slovenia, Norway and Sweden. Well into October, many parts of the U.S. Southwest and California saw record temperatures for the month more typical of midsummer.
"The researchers call the statistical trends 'tail-widening'―that is, the anomalous occurrence of temperatures at the far upper end, or beyond, anything that would be expected with simple upward shifts in mean summer temperatures. But the phenomenon is not happening everywhere; the study shows that maximum temperatures across many other regions are actually lower than what models would predict. These include wide areas of the north-central United States and south-central Canada, interior parts of South America, much of Siberia, northern Africa and northern Australia. Heat is increasing in these regions as well, but the extremes are increasing at similar or lower speed than what changes in average would suggest.
"Climbing overall temperatures make heat waves more likely in many cases, but the causes of the extreme heat outbreaks are not entirely clear. In Europe and Russia, an earlier study led by Kornhuber blamed heat waves and droughts on wobbles in the jet stream, a fast-moving river of air that continuously circles the northern hemisphere. Hemmed in by historically frigid temperatures in the far north and much warmer ones further south, the jet stream generally confines itself to a narrow band. But the Arctic is warming on average far more quickly than most other parts of the Earth, and this appears to be destabilizing the jet stream, causing it to develop so-called Rossby waves, which suck hot air from the south and park it in temperate regions that normally do not see extreme heat for days or weeks at a time."
#RossbyWaves #Rossby #GlobalWarming #GlobalBurning #Wildfires #GlobalHotSpots #Heatwaves #ExtremeHeat #ClimateChange #ExtremeHeatwaves #ExtremeWeather
-
Unexplained #HeatWave ‘#Hotspots’ Are Popping Up Across the Globe
Kevin Krajick
November 26, 2024"Earth’s hottest recorded year was 2023, at 2.12 degrees F above the 20th-century average. This surpassed the previous record set in 2016. So far, the 10 hottest yearly average temperatures have occurred in the past decade. And, with the hottest summer and hottest single day, 2024 is on track to set yet another record.
"All this may not be breaking news to everyone, but amid this upward march in average temperatures, a striking new phenomenon is emerging: distinct regions are seeing repeated heat waves that are so extreme, they fall far beyond what any model of global warming can predict or explain. A new study provides the first worldwide map of such regions, which show up on every continent except Antarctica like giant, angry skin blotches. In recent years these heat waves have killed tens of thousands of people, withered crops and forests, and sparked devastating wildfires.
"'The large and unexpected margins by which recent regional-scale extremes have broken earlier records have raised questions about the degree to which climate models can provide adequate estimates of relations between global mean temperature changes and regional climate risks,' says the study.
"'This is about extreme trends that are the outcome of physical interactions we might not completely understand,' said lead author Kai Kornhuber, an adjunct scientist at the Columbia Climate School’s Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory. 'These regions become temporary hothouses.' Kornhuber is also a senior research scholar at the International Institute for Applied Systems Analysis in Austria.
"The study was just published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences."
"The study looks at heat waves over the past 65 years, identifying areas where extreme heat is accelerating considerably faster than more moderate temperatures. This often results in maximum temperatures that have been repeatedly broken by outsize, sometimes astonishing, amounts. For instance, a nine-day wave that hammered the U.S. Pacific Northwest and southwestern Canada in June 2021 broke daily records in some locales by 30 degrees C, or 54 F. This included the highest ever temperature recorded in Canada, 121.3 F, in Lytton, British Columbia. The town burned to the ground the next day in a wildfire driven in large part by the drying of vegetation in the extraordinary heat. In Oregon and Washington state, hundreds of people died from heat stroke and other health conditions.
"These extreme heat waves have been hitting predominantly in the last five years or so, though some occurred in the early 2000s or before. The most hard-hit regions include populous central China, Japan, Korea, the Arabian peninsula, eastern Australia and scattered parts of Africa. Others include Canada’s Northwest Territories and its High Arctic islands, northern Greenland, the southern end of South America and scattered patches of Siberia. Areas of Texas and New Mexico appear on the map, though they are not at the most extreme end.
"According to the report, the most intense and consistent signal comes from northwestern Europe, where sequences of heat waves contributed to some 60,000 deaths in 2022 and 47,000 deaths in 2023. These occurred across Germany, France, the United Kingdom, the Netherlands and other countries. Here, in recent years, the hottest days of the year are warming twice as fast the summer mean temperatures. The region is especially vulnerable in part because, unlike places like the United States, few people have air conditioning, because traditionally it was almost never needed. The outbreaks have continued. In September, new maximum temperature records were set in Austria, France, Hungary, Slovenia, Norway and Sweden. Well into October, many parts of the U.S. Southwest and California saw record temperatures for the month more typical of midsummer.
"The researchers call the statistical trends 'tail-widening'―that is, the anomalous occurrence of temperatures at the far upper end, or beyond, anything that would be expected with simple upward shifts in mean summer temperatures. But the phenomenon is not happening everywhere; the study shows that maximum temperatures across many other regions are actually lower than what models would predict. These include wide areas of the north-central United States and south-central Canada, interior parts of South America, much of Siberia, northern Africa and northern Australia. Heat is increasing in these regions as well, but the extremes are increasing at similar or lower speed than what changes in average would suggest.
"Climbing overall temperatures make heat waves more likely in many cases, but the causes of the extreme heat outbreaks are not entirely clear. In Europe and Russia, an earlier study led by Kornhuber blamed heat waves and droughts on wobbles in the jet stream, a fast-moving river of air that continuously circles the northern hemisphere. Hemmed in by historically frigid temperatures in the far north and much warmer ones further south, the jet stream generally confines itself to a narrow band. But the Arctic is warming on average far more quickly than most other parts of the Earth, and this appears to be destabilizing the jet stream, causing it to develop so-called Rossby waves, which suck hot air from the south and park it in temperate regions that normally do not see extreme heat for days or weeks at a time."
#RossbyWaves #Rossby #GlobalWarming #GlobalBurning #Wildfires #GlobalHotSpots #Heatwaves #ExtremeHeat #ClimateChange #ExtremeHeatwaves #ExtremeWeather
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A Moment But Forever (念无双) recaps and analysis
Note: This has all the spoilers and lots of details about A Moment But Forever episodes. If you just want a less spoilery overview and review, do read my A Moment But Forever review.
During the gods-demons war, the artifact “God’s Left Hand,” used by Heavenly God Taihe to seal demons, was severed and fell to the Mortal Realm, causing Taihe and the gods to fall into eternal slumber.
The Youhu fox clan seized the artifact, using it to defeat their enemies, the War Demons, and establish dominion over the world, becoming its new gods.
The goddess Wu Shuang is sent to reclaim the artifact, which would kill its host, Youhu Clan’s high priest Yuan Zhong. Disguised as maid Ji Tanyin, she infiltrates the clan but discovers Yuan Zhong is not the villain he’s believed to be.
- Episodes 1-6
- Episodes 7-10
- Episodes 11 and 12
- Episodes 13-15
- Episodes 16-20 (The weapon spirits)
- Episodes 16-20 (Yuan Zhong’s big plan)
- Episodes 21-24
- Episodes 25 and 26
- Episodes 27-30
- Episodes 31-33
- Episodes 34 – Hanvu
- Episodes 36 (Ending)
Episodes 1-6
Quick summary of plot: Our hero, Yuanzhong (Liu Xueyi) is both reviled and revered as the High Priest of the Fox clan (Youhu). Due to the disappearance of the gods, the Youhu are now the “gods” of the world, and he’s among the most powerful. Yuanzhou is reputed to be debauched, violent and basically not a nice demigod. (But of course he’s the opposite)
(So far, so Kill Me Love Me. Murong Jinghe, is this your new life?)
Anyway, Yuanzhong is powerful because of this artifact of the former deities, The Left Hand of the former god Taihe. The goddess Wushuang (Ji Tanyin) who made it, is sent to wrest it back from Yuanzhong.
So far:
✅ Upcoming massive misunderstanding
✅ Torture of male lead
✅ Evil “Good” Sect
✅ Flimsy excuse for a kiss
✅ But very logical excuses for undressing male lead a few times
✅ Bath scene(s)
Hilariously, A Moment But Forever trended on Weibo for Liu Xueyi’s bath scene (okay, his bare naked chest trended, and to quote one Weibo-er: “Better to trend for something than nothing”.)
First, don’t be fooled by the promos!
A Moment but Forever is one drama that I can 100% say that the promos did it dirty. Because when the first promo came out, I went: “Meh, another xianxia.” I barely even registered that Liu Xueyi was in it. And when it did, I went: “Tis a pity, I don’t think I can endure this factory-line xianxia for him.”
(Fortunately, I came across a random post ranting about how the promo didn’t do the script justice; I found out more about the story and was intrigued. And the rest was history.)
Anyway, the expectations for this drama were so abysmal that most people said it would be a failure. So, I was bracing myself for a tepid xianxia. Who knew that I ended up being surprised by:
- the coherent storytelling.
- how funny it was
- the couple’s unique dynamic
- the colour grading. The trailers made it look so washed out filtered to death that I’m glad it’s actually pleasing to the eye!
- the careful world-building
- the addictiveness of the episodes!
Hilariously, on xiaohongshu, most of the comments I saw were: “I didn’t intend to watch the drama, but I ended up binging all six episodes and now I’m going to office with panda eyes”.
Well, I almost did the same but I was on leave the next day, flying off to a tropical island, so that’s perfect!
My favourite highlights of episodes 1-6
You think your life sucks? Oh man, wait till you get tricked into putting on a heavy fugly gold necklace that seals your powers and then get shoved into a cave for 40 years, lose your mind, and start talking to your alternate selfs. (That said, dayum, another tour de force performance by Liu Xueyi. You really feel Yuanzhou’s agony, self-recrimination, regret and hatred in that scene.)
That moment when you realize that the Youhu clan, especially the sect leader, is using Yuanzhou as a blood bag and pharmacy. 💀
Liu Xueyi, I don’t know how you do it, not only can you look good in that wig *and* still look great when you’re half dead. That’s why you’re paid the big bucks.
Darling, I know you pride yourself for your impeccable logic but I think you’re a little off with this thesis🫠
Is there a reason for her to kiss him? Something to do with unsealing his gold chain? How? Does it matter? Many females around the world are now happy. Mission accomplished.
So far, my radar is picking up vibes that Tang Hua is UP TO SOMETHING and is probably behind the whole demon possessing thing. Did he orchestrate it to liberate his former bestie from the clutches Evil Youhu Sect Leader With the Eyebrows of Doom? Probably!
My big question is whether Yuanzhong is also in on it, knows Tang Hua is on his side or … really believes that his former best friend is his enemy like the rest of the sect?
Episodes 7-10
I’m dying. DYING. I just finished episode 10, and I’m like, NO DON’T END HERE. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME??
At this point, I feel that this is going to be a drama that will keep me up at night; it’ll probably kill my sleep for a couple of weeks. Luckily I’m doing this on a tropical island. (I’m on vacation.)
It’s so rare for a Cdrama to do that to me. (But please god don’t break my heart at the end though.)
Anyway, on to some highlights from the episodes!
Tanyin’s Groundhog Day
Lawd I did not expect to laugh as hard as I did in episode 8 when Tanyin was repeatedly killed like some NPC in a video game! And then poor Yuan Zhong trying to bury/cremate/freeze her again and again each time she died!
Her explanation to Yuan Zhong about her resurrections though ;D
Tanyin, I think you better stick to science and leave the lying to politicians lol.
But poor Yuan Zhong, he thought he was getting a handmaiden, but he got a clingy stalker who could be a zombie instead.
War Demons – not so bad, not so good either
I really love that they showed the War Demons as a race that was made up of, well, normal people that joked, laughed and had families. But they have a really cruel social system that emphasizes increasing their numbers.
This forces families apart, and this is where we meet our new antagonist Qian Lian, a man eager to find the mother who was separated from him due to said system. He has now stolen a special dagger given to the tribe by a mysterious deity to kill Yuan Zhong so that he can be reunited with his mother.
Again, I really like that the writer has given the villains understandable motivations. For example, as evil as the Youhu elders were in sealing and imprisoning Yuan Zhong, they had a cold logic for it: How do you control someone as powerful as Yuan Zhong? How do you ensure he doesn’t enslave the clan?
Likewise, Qian Lian is rather likeable and has an earnest wish to reunite with his mother. A part of me wants him to succeed, but I like Yuan Zhong more, so …
The mysterious deity
I wonder if the War Demons were as nasty as they were supposed to be during that war and that they were nearly wiped out? And seeing how devilish the Elders of the Youhu clan are, I can really see them being the true devils of the war. Or maybe the deity had something to do with it.
But this drama has been surprising me with the unique paths it has taken, so I bet there’s a surprise waiting for us about the war.
Flying ships!
NGL, I felt like a little girl again when I saw that steampunk flying ship. I love that in this universe, the humans have their abilities. And their most defining strength is to invent machines.
We are no longer besties
I’m trying to decide if Yuan Zhong is talking about Tang Hua or Tanyin lol
As I suspected, Tang Hua had a hand in deceiving Yuan Zhong and eventually getting him imprisoned. It was amusing at first to see Yuan Zhong being all bitchy about Tang Hua, but later, after the attempted assassination, Yuan Zhong bluntly said, “We are no longer friends.”
And twisted the dagger by vividly describing the suffering he endured for 40 years. It was sad to see Tang Hua walk away dejectedly, but honestly, he deserved it. It’s going to take a lot more to mend their friendship … if it can even be mended because …
There’s something off about Yuan Zhong
Is he evil? Good? A bit of both? Or just crazy? It was something we, the viewers and Tanyin, were trying to figure out throughout the episodes.
Seeing Yuan Zhong just stare at a man being pecked to death by one of those Grudge Birds was chilling. Seeing him just casually walk away from people screaming around him was jaw-dropping. Oh noes, all this while we thought he was misunderstood! Maybe he’s just evil.
Like he told Tang Hua – after 60 years of suffering, nothing can reach his heart anymore, and our fox may not be “right in the head”.
Man, Liu Xueyi is just so good at playing morally grey characters I can’t tell what he is right now!
The attack
To be honest, I had a tiny bit of worry when the plot slowed down a tad in episode 9 when they boarded the ship and Tanyin and Yuan Zhong played this cat-and-mouse game with each other. Loved that Yuan Zhong realised almost immediately that Xue was Tanyin in disguise. I wondered if this he-knows-she-knows-he-knows game would be dragged out, but I shouldn’t have worried. Because Qian Lian stabs Yuan Zhong with the deity’s demon dagger, and then the ship was blown up by terrorists and—
And they left us there, just like that, wondering if Yuan Zhong is just going to watch everyone die. EURGH
Some other thoughts
I thought the criticisms against the special effects and styling were overblown. You young’uns try watching Cdramas during my time, where there were neon spandex hanfu and styrofoam demon spiders. A Moment But Forever’s special effects feel like award-winning special effects to me lol. (ok fine, not award-winning, but it doesn’t take me out of immersion.)
OMG Tanyin and that whip were amazing. Surely by now Yuan Zhong suspects that she is something powerful, you know, like a god??
Episodes 11 and 12
We get a lull of sorts (surprisingly!) after the intense flying ship fracas. Our little fox finally gets to fall in love at last. And it’s shown in such subtle ways.
What’s with Yuan Zhong’s expression on the ship?
Question: How do you interpret Yuan Zhong’s expression? It’s bugging me. Is he resentful? Just indifferent? Full of suspicion? A bit of everything? I can’t put a finger on it and it’s driving me nuts. What is your interpretation of his expression here?
Anyway, I’m glad that he ends up saving everyone, even if he didn’t seem very happy about it.
What followed that scene is more iciness from Yuanzhong as he continues to doubt her motives; he tries to shake her off as he goes to the mountain where one of his weapon spirits are sealed, but then that ice is thawed when she blocks a heavenly lightning strike for him.
See, girls, that’s what you need to do to win a guy’s heart – get struck by lightning.
Tang Yin dies. Again.
Look at that boy run
LMAO. Seriously, woman. Stop dying! I don’t think Yuan Zhong can take another round of this lol.
But Yuan Zhong’s reaction is so hilarious! (And how fox-like of him to try to smell to see if she has “gone off”.)
This, at the heels of such a serious moment on the boat, is amazing. It’s honestly fascinating how this drama knows how to balance super angsty moments with laugh out loud moments.
But on a more serious note, he is frankly confused, and like he told Mengshan, he can’t figure it out. Poor fox doesn’t understand why anyone wants to do anything good for him. Oh gawd the upcoming Misunderstanding is gonna hurt so bad, isn’t it?
Also, it’s nice to see Teng She again
To all you Love and Redemption fans, did you have a hoot watching Meishan annoying Yuan Zhong, because I did! (The actor for Meishan, Bai Shu, played Teng She, the sserpent god who constantly annoyed Bai Lin in Love and Redemption. There’s even this little scene where Yuan Zhong pushed Meishen down, a little callback to that scene between Hao Chen and Teng She.
Yuan Zhong falls hard
You were totally peeking, Yuan Zhong!
Our man completely falls for her in this scene, and it’s really wonderful to see Liu Xueyi just act this with his eyes. (It’s honestly wonderful to watch good acting. And er, beautiful men doing it.).
Seriously, that scene with Tang Yin and the crane was incredibly magical. And for the first time, in more ways than one, I feel as if I’m finally watching a classic xianxia.
The compassion and love shining from Tang Yin’s eyes for the crane, the crane dancing for the goddess… Immortals often ride heavenly cranes, so I’m pretty sure the crane knew who she was. It was just goose-bump inducing for me, as it reminded me of the xianxia of my childhood.
You see, in xianxias of old, it’s always emphasized that immortals are there to care for humanity and all creatures. After all, one needs to cultivate good virtues and values to become gods, after all.
So, usually, it’s the most virtuous that become gods, though in modern xianxias that’s often brushed aside and simplified into cultivating some kind of mystical spell/energy. Also, in far too many modern xianxias, human beings and creatures are not even a consideration, so it’s delightful to watch a goddess showing delight and love for a “lower” creature for once.
Tang Hua is the ultimate “did you do something with your hair” guy
Imagine spending all that time looking for a magical sword and sacrificing a bright future to be a handmaiden on a mountain full of immortals only to have the object of your affection not remember your time together. And the only memory you have of her is her cleaning your room.
Tang Hua, I get that you’re busy and all but are your eyes and brain cells only for Yuanzhong LMAO ?
Glad our girl decided to quit her obsession, but Tang Hua’s is just beginning bwahaha
Episodes 13-15
Yuan Zhong meets his father-in-law
I mean, despite what he thinks, Xie You is essentially that, even if he thinks that a 1,000-year-old man is his romantic competition (and even if Yuanzhong would rather die than admit he has the hots for Tanying lol.)That said, it’s such a hoot to see both of Tanyin’s favourite men bitch at each other like a pair of teenage mean girls. I guess when it comes to her favourite men, Tanyin has a type.
I’m pretty sure if Tanyin knew that Yuan Zhong thought that she and her teacher had a romantic relationship, she would’ve died (again). And Xie You would’ve totally murdered him for real.
Pretty sure Xie You was bitchy to Yuan Zhong because not only was he ordering his disciple around like, well, a handmaiden, he doesn’t think he deserves her. Like any father!
How is Xie You 1,000 years old?
Some of you may wonder how Xie You managed to live a millennia if he’s a human. I don’t think it’s explained very clearly in the drama, but in the novel, a human’s obsession can be so great they can ascend to immortality. (That’s how Tanyin and Hannu became immortals – they were so obsessed with their craft that their godlike abilities made them gods.)My theory: In Xie You’s case, while his obsession is great, he is unable to ascend to godhood because he never solved the last puzzle (which Tanyin solved). That obsession to solve the problem kept him alive; in a stasis of sorts.
In a way, it’s a miserable way to be; obsessed about a problem he cannot solve instead of the craft itself.
Once a master, always a master
You know, in a typical xianxia, Xie You would’ve tried to rob/kill Tanyin or something, but instead, he’s more obsessed over the fact that he couldn’t solve a problem his student did. He felt so unworthy of his craft that he abandoned it to take up another craft, but he couldn’t let go of his obsessive love for it no matter what he did.
I was super moved by the whole conversation Xie You and Tanyin had about their teacher-student relationship. Xie You believed that Tanyin should be his teacher now and bowed to her, but Tanyin said that he would always be her teacher, and bowed back to him.
If you’re not Chinese, you may not understand the deep reverence for teachers in Chinese culture. But this whole scene is the epitome of that value (and many Chinese netizens were moved by that scene).
I thought Xie You’s death was a great gift from Tanyin, even if it made her tearful to do it. Being stuck in stasis for so long was a miserable existence for her master, and it was time he was released from it.
Context: In Buddhism, obsession or attachments is said to be the cause of life’s suffering. Unresolved obsessions, especially.
Zhi Dai’s obsession
Zhi Dai’s obsession was more tragic than I thought. I had assumed that she had learned to preserve her youth through some magic she learned on the Youhu mountain, but it turned out that she actually grew old! This really drums in the tragedy that she wasted her entire life on a man who barely remembered her.
I’m glad she got a second chance, but who was the deity who returned her youth? I’m quite certain it’s Hannu, and I have a big feeling there’s no free lunch and she’s going to demand something in return soon.
Truth or dare
“I never approached anyone with ill intentions…”
And Yuan Zhong’s look of deep disappointment when Tanyin hesitated, and when she said, “what if it’s for the good of the world?”
Our fox is totally demanding to know what her true intentions were, and she kinda failed the test….
Then: “I never had a crush” -> Yuan Zhong, you’re totally lying and you’re fishing! lol And that little pout he gave her when he asked if she had, and then she asked what it feels like.
Yuan Zhong, how did you go from sad to cute in a few seconds??There’s no time
Poor Yuan Zhong having to relive his worst moment and to be cruelly taunted by the image of his dead father rescuing him. That’s an ‘easy’ puzzle compared to the rest.Never in a million years did I think I’d have to think about the theory of relativity in a xianxia, but there we go.
Okay, Theory of Relativity aside, I’m psyched that Yuan Zhong was the one who solved the time puzzle, but at the same time I was so sad: How many years must he have thought about the idea of time, stuck in that cave for decades?
To me, his “wisdom” about time was borne through that awful period, and I think he must’ve convinced himself that time was an illusion to keep himself sane during all those decades of imprisonment.
Hunt for the weapon spirits
I really like this little adventure Yuan Zhong is going on, seeing the world, freeing his weapon spirits. Kai Shan is such a cutie! He’s not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but he seems to be the sweetest weapon (and hungriest) spirit.
I can’t wait to meet the other weapon spirits. I saw an image of all of them together, and they look so cool!But of course readers of the book will agree >!that things will get very exciting once Yuan Zhong gets all his spirits together …!<
Tang Hua is … kinda forgiven?
It’s more like Yuan Zhong has decided to 50% forgive him rather than be best buds, I think. I was very delighted to find out that Tang Hua’s two men who were involved in the whole “pretending to be possessed by war demons” campaign are still alive!So despite his deep hatred and anger for Tang Hua’s betrayal, there’s still a smidgen part of his heart that cares for Tang Hua.
This is especially confusing to me, who have read the novel, knowing what Yuan Zhong is planning!!
Episodes 16-20 (The weapon spirits)
(From left: Zhi Fei, Kai Shan, Lu Chen, Ling Yao and A Xiu)
The weapon spirits are 100% super cool. It’s like Yuan Zhong has his own band of Power Rangers.
I’m going to do something different. Because these episodes is essentially several long arcs in one, and instead overwhelming you with a girnomous essay, I’m going to cover the same episodes in different posts, but focusing on different arcs.
In this post I want to cover the arc of the weapon spirits.
Hunt for the weapon spirits
I really like this little adventure Yuan Zhong is going on, seeing the world, freeing his weapon spirits.Speaking of character writing. I love how the writer has infused each weapon spirit with such distinct personalities. In fact,
what continues to amaze me is how the writer has fully fleshed out almost every character in this story, no matter how minor.Zi Fei – ah loyal Zi Fei, we know him well, but I think he may not be the most powerful of the lot.
Kai Shan our foodie is such a cutie! He’s not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but he seems to be the sweetest weapon (and hungriest) spirit.
Pei Jiu/Lu Chen is my favourite yet. And I think he may be the most powerful (and serious) of the lot.
Ling Yao – a female weapon spirit that Kai Shan and Zi Fei obviously has a crush with??
A San – a weapon spirit that likes to eat … gold? (according to the previews.) Man, he has expensive taste.
What do you think the weapon spirits represent?
Some say they represent the five sins. Some say each represent a finger of the Divine Hand. What do you think?Pei Jiu/Lu Chen
I have to admire this actor. He is able to distinguish himself as Pei Jiu, the simple, happy-go-lucky constable, from the powerful, serious Lu Chen. I really enjoyed his performance and the story.The whole arc of Yuan Zhong trying to take Pei Jiu as his disciple was hilarious! What tickled many Chinese viewers was that conversation Pei Jiu pooh poohing Yuan Zhong’s idea of a great life: That of a wandering swordsma His greatest ambition was to be a civil servant instead!
Knowing what we now know of the real Lu Chen’s personality, this must have been so infuriating to Yuan Zhong who took a special joy in trying to beat some sense into the man lol.
The innkeeper’s marriage
Ah, I really feel for Yunniang and Pei Jiu (Lu Chen). I’m pleased that she survived it all, but what surprised me was Lu Chen obviously does remember their time together.
I loved that Tanyin, Zi Fei and Kai Shan attended Pei Jiu’s pre-marriage dinner … even if they know that he’d probably never get married. That sad look Zi Fei threw Pei Jiu each time he mentioned the marriage was so sad.
Such a beautiful, painful arc for the unlucky innkeeper who once again loses her groom. When Yunniang started the fireworks in broad daylight, it’s probably her way to say goodbye to him. I like how un-hysterical she is about this painful loss, even if it obviously very painful.
Is there one tiny hope that Lu Chen will survive what’s coming and reunite with her one day?
I can’t wait to meet the other weapon spirits and to see them get together. But of course readers of the book will agree that things will get very exciting once Yuan Zhong gets all his spirits together.
Episodes 16-20 (Yuan Zhong’s big plan)
Ever felt so disappointed in the world that you think the only solution is to burn everything down and start over on a clean canvas?
Okay, I hope you are not like that but well, that’s Yuan Zhong in a nutshell.
—
What do you think about Yuan Zhong’s ‘five sins’ plan??Remember what I said about not being interested in this drama initially, and then I got sucked in by discussions online about how it’s actually a fantastic script? It was this clip that made me realise – oooh, another powerful performance by Liu Xueyi! That’s worth seeing at least!
This scene turned out to be so damn heartbreaking I can’t bear to see it again. Especially with that little basket of noodles and vegetables descended into his prison.
Seriously, Youhu clan! Is this how you repay the hero who not only saved your clan but made it one of the most powerful in the world??
Tanyin’s heartbreaking plea to Yuan Zhong to rest though … to imagine that this is really how his inner psyche is like, constantly turning over this theory of “five sins” over and over again …
I find Yuan Zhong’s “Thanos” turn very understandable. To him, it was the only way to keep sane, to have a light at the end of the tunnel, the only way to justify his imprisonment. It was all a grand experiment, to make him realise the “reality” of what is. He can fix it! He can still be a hero. He’s not a useless discard. The Five Sins is also his way of understanding why he was imprisoned: It’s some heroic quest to make him realise that he had to save the world by destroying it.
Well, he’s just well and truly mad.
Were you shocked by the reverse uno card?
At the end of episode 20, I love how they revealed how powerful and insane he was at the end, when he suddenly overpowered the demon effortlessly. And when the demon realised that Yuan Zhong was an even bigger demon that he was!
That scene made my jaw drop because I DID NOT EXPECT IT.
A standard xianxia would probably had Tanyin rescue him or something. Instead, Yuan Zhong kicked her out and burnt the demon alive. Gah!
And we the audience realised that Yuan Zhong was the real demon here.
To be honest, I’m not sure how I’ll see the funny cute scenes he’ll have with Tanyin now, knowing that he’s secretly planning the world’s death.
The Mute Lady
In episode 16, we learn about Xie You’s “other disciple”, the Mute Lady. We later discover that this was Ji Tanyin when she had just emerged from her long sleep. Because of her injuries, she couldn’t talk much but she left a mark everywhere she went, building schools, teaching the villagers science and turning bandits into good people. She ended up being worshipped till this day.I’m also quite pleased that by end of episode 17, Yuan Zhong quickly figured out that Tanyin was the Mute Lady. His fury made a lot of sense, not just because he was tricked but because he really wanted to believe that she followed him because she liked him, and that he was special somehow. Instead, he’s just one of the many people she helped, because that’s her nature, and he’s not special at all.
On top of that, he believes that she has ulterior motives in approaching him.
Zi Feng said something very important to him: That she’s distracting him from his true plans, and that’s the real danger.
Episodes 21-24
Yuan Zhong’s gradual turn to the light
Again, I really love how the show doesn’t really spoonfeed us information, but shows rather than tells us things.
Probably the most significant development is Yuan Zhong’s gradual thawing. This scene is especially moving because here we see Yuan Zhong in his sea of consciousness, in dark robes, possibly on the way to becoming a demon, but as he remembers Tanyin’s words asking him to travel the world, he literally begins to see the light.
And right after that scene we see Taihe’s body disintegrating. It’s as if each time Yuan Zhong heads towards less dark places, Taihe suffers. Hmm! I wonder what’s up with that?
Oh yes, there’s this strange scene where Yuan Zhong is standing in the middle of town and he is surrounded by blue light. I didn’t understand that until I got on to Chinese social media, and those who have read the script said that it was Yuan Zhong extending his senses to feel/see the life in town. Feeling the joy of life for the first time in a long while, he ran back home to read Tanyin’s travelogue, suddenly eager to experience how it’s like to travel the world.
But just as Yuan Zhong starts to soften to Tanyin, she starts to get cold…
One can’t blame her really, because Qian Lian’s remark that “he’s becoming a demon” and what she saw in his sea of consciousness are making her really wary. Remember, her sole purpose for taking back the Divine Hand from Yuan Zhong was because he was considered evil, thus not worthy of the hand. If he has truly become evil, she would have no choice but to kill him.
And we know that Tanyin has started to love him in her own way, and she doesn’t want to do this at all.
The back and forth between them was riveting to watch and it’s going to get helluva more intense in the next episodes!
Is Yuan Zhong possessed or demonised?
I’ve seen discussions online – some say Yuan Zhong is getting possessed by a demon, some say he’s becoming a demon. There’s a distinction between the two, and I think it’s the latter.
What do you think?
Personally, I think it’ll cheapen Yuan Zhong’s journey if he was possessed by another entity. It makes more sense that his tortured decades had twisted him to darkness, and it’s more gratifying to see him fight his way out of that rather than be rescued from possession by Tanyin.
Fu Jiuyun
I’m sure fans of the charming, flirty nearly thousand-year-old immortal Fu Jiuyun from Love of Thousand Years are delighted to see him here.
At first, we think that he’s just here for comedic relief and to be Yuan Zhong’s love rival, but I think he’s here to prod (or tease) Yuan Zhong and Tanyin about their relationship.
Also, if you know about his origins, you’d realise that he was actually being very literal, but because of the way he said it, it came off as smutty double entendre! Hilarious!
There is a connection between Tanyin and Fu Jiuyun, as we’ll come to find out.
Qian Lian’s gift is to be knocked out every episode
… apparently. I couldn’t believe that he was once again knocked out in episode 20 lol
I’ve taken to call him Mr. Third Wheel. Not that he’s much competition to Yuan Zhong at all! I’m really not sure why he’s here, to be honest lol
To be honest, I found the War Demons arc mostly snoozeworthy. They seem not as well fleshed out as other races, just evil sidekicks right now. Besides Qian Lian, no one else seems to have a redeemable, 3-dimensional quality…. well, until the end of episode 20, when we find out that the War Demon that seemed semi-kind to Qian Lian was actually his half-brother.
And that’s about time, to show that War Demons are people too, like Tanyin said to Qian Lian when she rescued him from the slave traders.
I continue to be bored by Tang Hua
Tang Hua and Zhi Dai are doing something, and I’m really bored lol. Each time they come onscreen I have to fight the urge to push the fast-forward button. I’m sure their plot has something to do with Wushuang Society and I’m certain that Zhi Dai’s brother is involved with them, but at this point of the story I just want to focus on our main couple, is that too much to ask?
Raising a child is really expensive
As a fellow fire sign, my favourite weapon spirit has been replaced by A Xiu!
That said, I really love this little interlude between Yuan Zhong, Tanyin and A Xiu because it gave Yuan Zhong a taste of a life beyond the Grand Plan.
When Tanyin told him that he could travel the world once he freed the weapon spirits, it’s as if this thought had never occurred to him before.
You see a sense of wonder slowly descending on him, and a gradual reluctance to execute his Grand Plan. (Him not feeding A Xiu gold to hasten his growth is one big sign.)
As he starts to love life again, he begins to doubt his Grand Plan …
I really love this arc, that’s all I can say, and I wish they could stay like this forever, being pseudo-parents to the precious A Xiu, just worrying about raising an expensive kid …
Episodes 25 and 26
You know what I think? Nobody has the right to be this beautiful when destroying the world lol.
Anyhoo, this is going to be a short one because I just landed from my week-long vacation. (And I swear this is the best thing, being able to chase this drama on a beautiful tropical island.) Also, I feel that these episodes don’t need much exposition because we all know what happened here: Yuan Zhong and Tang Yan are suspicious of each other, and there are full of emotional scenes between the two of them.
Anyway, these episodes were Ah-mahzing! I keep rewatching the emotional scenes in these episodes because They. Are. So. Good!
This is mostly because I like to watch Liu Xueyi suffer I love Liu Xueyi’s Shakespearean scenes. It’s incredibly hard to do monologues in general, and he did two in these episodes.
If he wasn’t this good of an actor, those scenes would’ve been hammy and awkward, but he was able to imprint different emotions just through his voice, at times!
The one when Tanyin entered his sea of consciousness and he had this major blow out demanding, “Why should I forgive them?” I really felt his fury. And I wanted to go, you know what, don’t forgive them Yuan Zhong! They don’t deserve it. Burn them all!
And yet I understand Tanyin’s POV as well. There’s so much beauty in the world too, and she wanted him to emerge from this terrible darkness.
But my favourite scene has to be that pivotal moment when he was about to unleash hell on the world. He started out reverent, almost, as he talked to Wushuang. Then it slowly turned bitter, then menacing as wrathful. And then through a series of expressions, Liu Xueyi conveyed Yuan Zhong’s pain as he hesitated, remembering the beauty of this world. His simple declaration, “Never mind”, was like a bomb going off (emotionally speaking).
I love that he was the one who “saved” himself, and that he flinched for the first time when the orb showed him the terror that he was about to unleash. I like romance like the next person, but despite liking our couple very much I want Yuanzhong to be the one making the decision to turn away. I don’t want him to turn away because the heroine declared her love for him, or if she was in danger. I want him to come to the realisation that he didn’t need to destroy the world.
The scriptwriter is brilliant.
It makes their eventual embrace on the bridge so meaningful. Tanyin was relieved that Yuan Zhong chose not to destroy the world, and that he did this himself. And Yuan Zhong smiled and was relieved as well, because Tanyin didn’t turn away from him after seeing him at his darkest; a literal demon. Instead, she was running towards him.
Some folks online complained that they wished there was more love demonstrated between the two of them, that it took so long for them to even show any kind of affection towards each other, but I thought it was just perfect. This is how two people from very different, polarising positions, can fall in love. And I am happy they didn’t take the short cut by giving us skinship or accidental kisses and embraces (bleargh) so rife in xianxia, even if there was one kiss at episode 6, but that was for totally logical reasons!
So which emotional scene did you prefer? The one in the sea of consciousness or the tower when he was about to unleash hell?
Episodes 27-30
Seriously, the problem I have with express episodes is how do I balance discussions for those who have watched the express episodes and those who have not? So what I’ll be doing is to follow the current non-Express airing episodes and hope you guys are patient, I will be releasing the discussion on the finale at the end of the week. So, do be patient, Express viewers!
By the way, those who have seen the Express episodes: PLEASE PUT ON SPOILER TAGS WHEN YOU COMMENT ABOUT EPISODES BEYOND 30. Those who do not will get their comments removed. All right then, let’s go ahead with the discussion.
So, did you like the kissing scene? hehe
I want to say that watching Yuan Zhong and Tanyin being all sweet with each other, and THAT KISS OMG was the highlight of these episodes.
Of course we know that the writer is giving this sweet moments before drowning us in bittergourd juice, sigh.
Also OMG please make Liu Xueyi do more kissing scenes. Honestly, I just tolerate most kissing scenes in Cdramas, but with LXY, I literally savour them because they’re just so natural that you feel that you’re spying on a couple! The best kisser in CDramaland, that’s for sure.
BTW (some melon gossip) It’s said that he’ll be the male lead in a Ming dynasty costumed drama with Tan Songyun drama soon and omg my girl cannot reciprocate if you know mean. So, if it films, I wonder how the kissing scenes will look like (if there’s any lol).
Two ways to exist in the worldOne of the themes that resonated with Chinese audiences about A Moment But Forever, but would probably make us international audiences blink, is that they see China’s geopolitical situation reflected in the drama.
I’m not going to much detail into this as I don’t want to turn this into a political post, but I can at least talk about how episodes 26-31 offer a glimpse at two ways to exist in the world:
a) At A-Xue’s house, did you notice that a deity, War Demon, Youhu fox spirit and a human being sat down together to have meals and watch fireworks together?
b) However, this idyll is shattered when, in a bid to help the Youhu clan, Yuan Zhong is brutally attacked by War Demons, the Youhu clan (seriously, if Yuan Zhong eventually cuts all ties and stop helping them they 100% deserve it), humans and yes, even deities (Hanvu)
These two sets of people exists at the same time in the world:
We can either treat each those alien to us as equals and have meals with them to forge friendships.
Or we can scheme and manipulates and destroy and kill instead.
I’m so proud that Yuan Zhong is of the first group now; it was really lovely to see his development after he gave up destroying the world.
Instead of isolating Qian Lian, he helps heal him and develop into a Perfect War Demon. Of course he couldn’t resist sliding in a few barbs and petty moments, but that Yuan Zhong for ya.
Despite seeing Dingxu spying on him, he lets him go. (Though I wouldn’t have mind if he made an exception, ya know?)
I also loved A Xue, how accepting and grounded she is despite having powerful people in her house!
The attack on Yuan Zhong was brutal to watch 😦Oh gawd, seriously why is anyone in the Youhu clan still listening to Dingxu and the parasitic elder cohorts?? Please someone tell me why. The Youhu elders are a bunch of moronic, ungrateful, lazy bunch and seeing them literally betray Yuan Zhong, who came to help them is just …! (Seriously Tang Hua, I know it’s not your fault but you did drag Yuan Zhong from his peaceful life to this mess, ugh. Could you like, stop.)
This whole sequence was so distressing to watch. Imagine, after sparing the world destruction, everyone conspires to kill him. (It was gratifying to watch Qian Lian come to his rescue though! What a cool guy.)
Yet, despite using the Divine Hand, it wasn’t deadly enough to annihilate everyone – Yuan Zhong held back when he could’ve easily used it to level the city. And that scene when Tanyin swoops in and catches him, and two flowers land on his blood stained hands and he tells Tanyin that such beauty exists in this flithy place? (EUHGH)
He paid dearly for his kindness but this time, he did not destroy the world. This is a lot of growth because old Yuanzhong would’ve just unleashed hell on the world. (And I would’ve secretly cheered him on a little.)
Also loved Tanyin’s little trick of shrinking the city and flicking it thousands of miles away. Wait, does that mean Yandu is now at a different part of the world?? Did it move back later?? lol
All in all exciting episodes even if it was brutal to watch Yuan Zhong so seriously injured and Tanyin desperately trying to bring him to safety as they are chased by his enemies …
Episodes 31-33
Now that Yuan Zhong is safe, Tanyin has to leave to deal with Hanvu in the Divine Realm. Yuan Zhong takes desperate actions, triggering a cascade of events…
The Green Tea Fox
(PS: “Green tea” is slang for someone who pretends to be innocent, pure, and sweet on the outside but is actually manipulative and calculative.)
Tanyin had no choice but to leave physically this time because all access to the Divine Realm is barred to her now that she’s no longer a goddess, and Hanvu closed the ascension platform.
However, she discovers one more way: use Juanjuan’s spatial magic technique—but she needs to do it physically, not via spirit like before.
Never did I expect Yuan Zhong to pretend to be blind, frail, and worsen his injuries just to keep Tanyin around. But he’s a fox after all (specifically a green tea fox!). I love this, though.
I like that they didn’t outright show he was faking his injuries and blindness immediately. Instead, we get a clue at the start of Episode 32 when they’re stargazing: as Tanyin gently guides his hand to “see” the stars, he sneaks a glance at her. This cunning fox!
But we don’t know why he did it until much later.
By then, Yuan Zhong suspects she’s more than just the immortal Mute Lady—she’s a goddess. Fu Jiuyun’s words must echo in his head: that they’re mere passersby in her life, and her path lies beyond mortals like them.
I deeply empathize with Yuan Zhong when he asks Tanyin (paraphrased): “Do you know what it’s like to wait for someone without any clue where they’re going or when they’ll return?”
And when all tactics fail, he demands to marry her—his way of forcing proof that she truly loved him. Desperate actions, unfortunately. Not exactly my ideal proposal! Lmao.
Though these scenes were sweet, they felt “heavy”, steeped in doom. I couldn’t fully enjoy them knowing what was coming.
I’m Mad at Zhi Dai
Tanyin’s inability to confess her love (thanks, Heavens, and your stupid Three Oaths—ugh) leads to Yuan Zhong’s extreme reaction when Zhi Dai, under Hanvu’s orders, reveals that Tanyin is the goddess he’s worshipped for years.
Like, woman! I thought you’d gained brain cells after your second life, but you regressed the moment Tang Hua flashed a smile. Okay, fine, you were possessed by Hanvu—but you didn’t have to lead her to him!
I get her motivations, but I loathed her hesitance and selfishness. Surely she knew there’d be catastrophic consequences, especially after what happened with her brother.
Are You Annoyed at Yuan Zhong?
Many on Chinese social media were furious at Yuan Zhong’s actions in these episodes. They called him silly for being so insecure that he forced Tanyin to stay, fell for Hanvu’s schemes, and sparked a chain reaction…
Frankly, I see their point. I, too, groaned: “Yuan Zhong, must you? Couldn’t you just cherish your time with Tanyin, even if she had ulterior motives?”
But our fox isn’t mentally healthy. Turning away from world-destruction doesn’t mean instant recovery. Darkness still surrounds him—his clan, war demons, and even the gods want him dead. How much can one man take?
Though he chose to spare the world, Tanyin became his only light (especially after Yandu’s cruelty). That’s… not ideal.
Nightmare Wedding: Why Did Yuan Zhong Do It?
“I have never been this afraid in my life.” —Yuan Zhong
Did you dread the wedding as much as I did? With Tanyin’s nightmare vision of Yuan Zhong in red, how couldn’t we? Alas, her fear came true.
Why?
- He wanted to be special to her. Not just one of many loved by a goddess.
- He believed Tanyin stayed only for Taihe’s mission—no love involved. If his Divine Hand kept her from leaving, he’d rather give it to her and end the farce.
- The Hand symbolized a lifetime of pain. This was the final straw.
Was it understandable? Yes. Maddening? Also yes.
Could Yuan Zhong have been “reasonable”? Maybe. But consider: a man imprisoned for 60 years by the clan he protected, who finally finds hope in a woman’s devotion—only to learn it’s conditional.
In his mind, their marriage was just a means for her to retrieve the Hand. Why endure that toxicity? With his limited understanding of her mission and his fractured mental state, he saw no other way out.
And she was leaving—perhaps forever. That’s why he said, “I let you go.”
Novel vs. Drama: A Key Difference
In the novel, Yuan Zhong only considered cutting off his hand:
“He imagined cutting off his left hand in a fit of rage… hoping to fill the void with her tears and regret.”
But drama Yuan Zhong actually did it!
While the novel’s pear-tree scene felt tepid (Tanyin’s reaction was oddly muted), the drama’s version made Yuan Zhong seem unstable—but it was earned. His mental decline was well-foreshadowed.
That said, drama Tanyin’s agony over his death sold their love better than the novel’s more detached portrayal.
Episodes 34 – Hanvu
One of the problems the show had toward the end, and when it truly stumbled, was explaining the motivations of its archvillain, the seemingly saintly Hanvu.
This is where the book did it better. In the book, every god goes through tribulations in the world, and it often revolves around Obsessions. Hanvu being trapped in her obsessive hatred for her sister was her tribulation. To “pass” her tribulation, she had to rise above it.
(Obviously, she couldn’t in the end. The book vividly portrayed her ‘stuckness’ when Tanyin saw her ‘true form’ – that of a woman still burning alive in that fire. I always remember her saying that Tanyin had been in that firepit for centuries, unable to move away. In that sense, Hanvu was suffering for centuries with that pain.)
It’s All About Obsessions
Personally, I don’t think the show explained the magic system of this world very well.
The Buddhist philosophy that obsessions lead to suffering gets a twist in the story.
In this universe, one’s obsession can result in great feats, immortality, and even divinity. But on the other side of the coin: it can also lead to great misery and demonization.
- Yuan Zhong was obsessed with judging the world based on the five sins.
- Hanvu was obsessed with the betrayal of her sister, which led to her violent death.
That’s why Yuan Zhong said: “Gods and demons are just a thought apart.”
What obsession makes you a god? What obsession makes you a demon?
Hanvu and Yuan Zhong were on the same journey, but they responded differently.
Hanvu’s hatred had no outlet
Like Yuan Zhong, Hanvu was deeply wronged when she was alive. Despite being a caring sister, she was framed by her sibling and ended up being burned alive by a mob.
Like Yuan Zhong, she had a guide to lead her to a better path: Taihe. However, unlike Yuan Zhong, Hanvu couldn’t absorb Taihe’s guidance. (This is partly due to Taihe’s lack of empathy—a result of his “ruthless path”—where he only taught her to suppress her desires.)
When her sister died, her opportunity for revenge slipped away from her because, as a goddess, she couldn’t interfere with the cycle of reincarnation or enter it like her sister.
She wasn’t able to let go of her grudge as a result, and as she said, “Where can my grudge go? Forgive? I cannot forgive!”
So, instead of feeling gratitude for Taihe, she ended up hating him. She poisoned Taihe by unleashing all the darkness he was suppressing, which turned into a literal demon. She blamed the world for her unjust death, and she used Taihe as her weapon, and later, Yuan Zhong.
A lot of people on social media couldn’t understand her motivations. It may seem lame—to destroy the world based on something you suffered thousands of years ago—but think of it as hatred morphing into something “alive.” In Hanvu, we see the destructive force behind an Obsession; because she couldn’t let go, she needed an outlet for her hatred. She chose a new target: the world.
Yuan Zhong could say, “Never Mind”
Like Hanvu, Yuan Zhong’s target was also the world. But unlike Hanvu, he learned to love his guide, Tanyin, who was gentle and empathetic and gave him love in return. Unlike Hanvu, he could let his grudge go and say, “Never mind.”
That’s why I loved that little scene so much. Just two words, and it said so much—Yuan Zhong was able to let go of his obsessive need to destroy the world and justify his suffering. Hanvu wasn’t.
(PS: That’s why some fan theories say he had already attained godhood then, because he passed his tribulation right there—but it’s complicated, haha, since he replaced this Obsession with Tanyin.)
Unfortunately, Hanvu used Yuan Zhong’s love (or rather, Obsession) for Tanyin against him, resulting in this:
The Problem Lay in the Direction and the Script
The director, Guo Hu, has a rather spotty track record. While he was responsible for The Mysterious Lotus Casebook, he was also responsible for the really poorly received Only for Love.
So, I was holding my breath for most of the drama. On the whole, while he may struggle with some camera angles, etc., I thought he executed the story very well. But then he started stumbling after Episode 31.
And when Hanvu agreed to give Tanyin a “presentation” about why she was doing what she was doing, I could only facepalm. Really, director? You decided to turn Hanvu into the “villain who monologues her plan”? Until then, the drama had been pretty strong in the “show, don’t tell” department.
Of course, not all the blame can be placed on the director. I’d say the scriptwriter shares a fair bit of it. And that puzzled me because the writing had been consistently strong until the last arc, which leads me to conclude that another scriptwriter probably took over (the style is just too different) or… there was interference from above.
Probably a combination of both. Producers and the studio (and this is an iQIYI production) are notorious for dictating story direction, and all I can say is: something happened to the last few episodes.
I also read that originally, Hanvu’s motivation was that she was jealous Tanyin had Taihe’s attention in the past. The director nixed that plot, and I’m glad he did!
However, if only he could’ve laid out more foreshadowing for Hanvu to hint at her Obsession, her world-destroying motivations would’ve been more understandable—just like Yuan Zhong’s.
By the way, if you want to discuss the finale next, head over to the finale thread, which was originally for express viewers.
I have one more post coming explaining my opinion about the ending, and why I think it’s actually a good ending, even one leading towards happy.
Episodes 36 (Ending)
Evil Taihe is cool, I guess?
A lot of people were impressed with Evil Taihe/Yuan Zhong combo but I thought it was not Liu Xueyi’s strongest performance in the drama. (I thought it was rather cheesy, forgive me.) But I was super impressed that he used a totally different voice for him!
Did Evil Taihe die too easily? Yeah, weirdly for such a much-feared demon! haha
Why did Hanvu self-destruct?
Hanvu’s death was very confusing. What prompted her to self-destruct into a tapestry again? Someone explain to me.
Zhi Dai and Tang Hua’s ending was appropriate
Honestly, I’m suprrised Tang Hua got to live, his anime and novel version – he didn’t survive lol. Anyhoo, that relationship was doomed from the begginning and tbh I didn’t feel anything for this ‘ship, so it’s fine to me ;P
Is Meishan dead?
I think he’s in the same state Tanyin was, his body dead, but unless his primordial spirit is irrevocably destroyed, he could return. But, unfortunately, we do not know for sure.
Why did Yuan Zhong inherit Taihe’s powers?
Personally, I think it’s because he finally passed his tribulation and was deemed worthy enough to become Taihe version 2. (In xianxia, gods ascend to a new level after much suffering, but they need to overcome them to do so.) But again, they didn’t quite explain.
So, will Yuan Zhong accept the deity’s invitation to cultivate the ruthless path and be Taihe version 2?
I swear, if he does, he has learned nothing from his 60 years of confinement by the Youhu and deserves a tight slap from Tanyin when she returns.
The entire conversation was way too similar to Dinxu’s appeal that “he can become a god”. He’d be an utter fool to be tricked again just so that he can see Tanyin. So, no I doubt it. Being a god is no longer appealing, all he wants is Tanyin and yes, it’s a dirty tactic that the deity used Tanyin as bait but I’m confident Yuan Zhong is wise and smart enough to know that the ruthless path will only prevent him from reunited with Tanyin (because he has to supress his emotions).
Also, surely he knows that Taihe’s path wasn’t as pristine and pure as they made it out to be. So I doubt Yuan Zhong will fall for this scheme.
But he smiled because he finally have hope (after years grieving for her loss) that Tanyin can return one day.
But won’t he die before Tanyin returns?
It’s said that the Youhu foxes only live up to 500 years (if I’m not mistaken). I doubt that’s Yuan Zhong’s lifespan, being a host to the Divine Hand. Remember, Dinxu used to drain Yuan Zhong to make elixers to prolong his life. With that blood in his body, I’m sure his life is extended by a lot, and now that he has “inherited” Taihe’s full powers, his already god-like. He just chose not to ascend officially and take his place in the Divine Realm. And I doubt he’d ever do that.
The final question: Will Tanyin return?
Yes, to me she will. Reasons below.
Dashed expectations … only if you are a modern xianxia viewer with ‘love conquers all’ expectations
I firmly believe A Moment But Forever ended happily—but this depends on how you interpret the drama’s central themes. Modern audiences, especially newcomers to xianxia, often expect fairy-tale romances where love conquers all.
However, classic xianxia (the one I grew up with) was never solely about romance. Instead, it explored philosophical themes— what is good? What’s evil? What is the true nature of a deity? The immortals in more classic xianxia were far more concerned with mortal welfare than their own love lives.
And if they have some romance, they will prioritise their mission to care for mortals and sacrifice their love lives. That’s the nature of gods, and that’s how they became gods in the first place. Well, at least in old xianxia. Not so, modern xianxia, unfortunately. (They’d rather wreck the world for love!)
Over the years, the xianxia genre came to be dominated by the idol factory, so young actors and romance-heavy plots have became its trademark, almost.
This shift explains why A Moment But Forever faced the ageist criticism in China as “middle-aged xianxia.”
Anyway, if you watch A Moment But Forever expecting a modern xianxia, alas your expectations will be sorely dashed.
But if you approach it as a classic xianxia tale—centred on moral redemption, the responsibilities of the divine for humans—the ending will be logical … albeit unsatisfactory.
But to me, the ending is not just good but happy
Okay, happy-ish.
The core narrative about the drama isn’t about Tanyin and Yuan Zhong’s love story. It’s about Yuan Zhong’s redemption—a man destined to seemingly commit great evil. It’s also the story of a benevolent deity (Taiyin), who acts as his guide to sway him from this dark path.
The story’s “mission” completes when he chooses light over darkness, and saves the world.
Tanyin’s sacrifice—breaking heavenly laws to save him (the ultimate sacrifice for a goddess)—earns her a reprieve from judgement and a chance to live again.
A bad ending would be Yuan Zhong going completely evil and Tanyin dead!
I also liked the fact that Yuan Zhong and Tanyin several years as husband and wife. Tang Hua mentioned that he spent a few years travelling the world, and then we see Yuan Zhong and Tanyin at the tail end of their six-month travels.
I like that Yuan Zhong got to have this time with Tanyin, really truly love each other and lived as husband and wife before they parted.
To quote a Weibo-er, “our fox is no longer a virgin in the world and is now a right and proper widower.”
So what does it mean that she’s in the world, in a blade of grass etc?
The drama hints strongly that Tanyin survives as sentient energy and is able to influence creatures around her or even reincarnate into them – butterflies, dragonflies. Think of it as a higher level of existence.
In the novel, all gods who “die” reunite with a ‘central hub’ of primordial energy. So gods who ‘die’ become this energy, but Tanyin didn’t reunite with this central hub because she was granted the reprieve, and got to be free to rejoin the world.
But it will take time.
I firmly believe she will eventually return, mirroring the novel’s resolution where she reforms in a new body after centuries.
Why I’m convinced Taiyin will return:
- The Deity’s Revelation: The god at the end confirms Taiyin’s primordial spirit lingers between heaven and earth, and Yuan senses her presence.
- 2. Foreshadowing:
- The fortune teller’s prophecy: Yuan will have “joy with his descendants.”
- Taiyin gave Yuan Zhong her divine energy in episode 6. In the novel this is the key to her return. Her body is remade with immortal lotus, her teacher gave Yuan Zhong the “lotus gift”. I feel that he probably wanted to protect her too, and I think this “lotus energy” will facilitate her body’s reformation.
- Novel Parallels: In the source material, Taiyin returns after centuries, her energy merging with a lotus to recreate her body. The drama’s open ending implies the same outcome.
But I get why you want a kissy reunion
Let me ask you: Why should all “happy endings” be about a wedding and babies?
For a classic xianxia tale, a “happy ending” means evil was thwarted, and our heroes ascend their tribulations, ofter after great sacrifice.
I get it though. Modern xianxia viewers are so used to the idea of a romantic conclusion that they get furious when it’s thwarted, but classic xianxia prioritizes the themes I mentioned.
Yes, the frustration stems from mismatched genre expectations. But also, well, I get it. After the many tribulations we just want our couple to cuddle their babies and snog!
Why is it the ending ‘unsatisfying’ then?
Partly because we want to see Tanyin fulfill her promise that “she will definitely return, I promise you.” But didn’t get to see that (even if it’s heavily hinted).
Also, the drama was amazing up to episode 33. I felt that the drama jumped the shark after the Red Wedding (lmao). It’s as if they ran out of money or was told to hastily cut down lots of scenes.
That’s why it’s unsatisfactory to me – the drama was excellently plotted, the logic very solid until episode 33. Then after that it was a return to xianxia cliches. (I wasn’t super enthused with the demon lord arc.)
So many things were left lightly hinted at towards the end. For example, many people didn’t catch that the Weapon Spirits are still alive! Little A Xiu is back at the last episode.
A definite ending for many of our beloved characters would’ve made so many people happier.
Well, at least we understand why the Chinese title of the drama is 念无双 (Thinking/Longing for Wu Shuang). It sure lived up to it!
In the end, all of us know exactly how Yuan Zhong felt at the final scene. LOL
PS: Apparent the scriptwriter said an extra scene was filmed but never allowed to release. There’s some confusion about whether it’s filmed or not. But there was indeed a happy ending, either as an extra episode or a happy ending, but they decided to lop it off so that it has a more open ending instead. Make it make sense, c-ent!
So what are your theories?
#China #AMomentButForever #CDrama #CDramas #ChineseDrama #ChineseDramas #Fantasy #LiuXueYi #LiuXueyi #reviews #romance #TV #Xianxia
-
Pop Cryptid Spectator 9
Welcome to the PCS 9th edition. The appetite for cryptid-tourism is on the rise. Today’s cryptid fan is all about the experience. Not only are people eager to check out the supposed hangouts of mysterious monsters, but they also want to put their travels and beliefs on display via social media. Getting a cool pic in a monster stop is guaranteed to get likes. This edition of the Pop Cryptid Spectator is heavy on tourism and how towns love their local beasts (even if they used to hate them).
In this edition:
- Cryptid media: Creating the Loch Ness Monster
- Ogopogo statue updated
- The Big Muddy Murphysboro monster file
- Continuing the tradition of paranormal lore in West Virginia
- Wild Fictions comic is great intro to Fortean topics
- Snallygaster vs Snoligoster
Cryptid media: Creating the Loch Ness Monster
Loch Ness is inseparable from its monster legend. The towns around the lake seem to have adjusted to the outsider interest over the past 50 years.
In the 2023 documentary, Loch Ness: They Created a Monster, by Hopscotch films, now available for viewing, we have a veritable Who’s Who of the people involved in the investigations at Loch Ness at the height of it all – the late 1960s to the early 80s. At that time, the idea that there could be some mysterious unknown creature in the lake was at its peak. Monster hunters from all over the world tried their new gadgets and courage over and under the water, hoping to be the one who nabbed the prize.
The location supported multiple dedicated loch watchers including Frank Searle, Tim Dinsdale, and those volunteering with the Loch Ness Investigation Bureau. The documentary mostly concentrates on Searle, his highly questionable “evidence”, and dubious reputation. Searle exited the scene under equally dramatic circumstances, which is built into the context of the presentation. If I list all the well-known people in this production, I’m afraid I’ll miss someone. Tune in to enjoy the images and activities of a younger Adrian Shine, Youshio Kuo, Lee Frank, Robert Rines, and many more! From the Hopscotch website:
The darkly comic story of the Nessie hunters who camped out on the shores of Loch Ness throughout the 1970s and 1980s. Featuring an international cast of dedicated scientists and extraordinary eccentrics who chased, but never found, the dinosaur-like creature who may live in the depths of the loch. The film shows how the absence of concrete evidence and the allure of fame gradually tainted the once-serene Loch with frustration, egos, and broken dreams.
At the dawn of the 21st century, the possibility of Nessie as a single zoological entity waiting to be found had diminished to near 0. But the appeal remains, as the parade of tourists attests. And people will forever be “seeing” what they believe.
The film is currently being shown on BBC-2 but you might be able to catch it on Daily Motion if it doesn’t suddenly disappear into the depths of the internet.
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8rbf66
Ogopogo statue updated
The statue of Ogopogo in Kelowna, British Columbia is a fixture in the town that loves its lake monster. As part of a waterfront renovation, it’s being moved to make more room for tourist interactions. The monster of Lake Okanagan will also have a misting station so people can cool off on hot days.
Ogopogo got much of council’s attention during a lengthy report of various city parks-related initiatives planned for this year. That reflects their awareness of the significance Kelowna residents place on Ogopogo, particularly the downtown sculpture which is probably the most photographed piece of public art in the city.
“I don’t know how many people have children in pictures sitting on Ogopogo’s head dating back decades and decades,” acting mayor Luke Stack said. “Really, it has become part of the heritage of our community and it’s really an important asset to protect and continue to promote.”
Don’t forget Frogman fest
As mentioned in the last PCS, the Loveland Ohio Frogman festival is coming up this weekend. The frogman officially becoming the city’s mascot in 2023. From this latest article, costumes are encouraged. The festival is more about fun than zoology, as pop cryptids go.
The Big Muddy Murphysboro monster file
Speaking of town monsters, Murphysboro, Illinois has their own creature, the Big Muddy Monster, which is clearly a Bigfoot relative. The town has developed a very slick website featuring a case file of the monster information. The file contains digital scans of the police reports from 1973 and 1976 and photos taken by the Murphysboro Police Department, artist sketches made from the eye witness reports, and news clippings and letters from around the world. Original sources like this are invaluable but often hard to come by. This is a little gold mine.
Continuing the tradition of paranormal lore in West Virginia
West Virginia never fails to capitalize on their spooky reputation. The Frank and Jane Gabor West Virginia Folklife Center at Fairmont State University are looking for your best ghost and monster tales for an upcoming publication. The small, independently published booklet called Traditions: The Ghost of Ruth Ann and Other Local West Virginia Lore will highlight the best stories with the intent to preserve local lore and tradition. The project is a collaboration with the podcast team who organized the Veggie Man Day. That’s a Veggie tale for another time…
Wild Fictions comic is great intro to Fortean topics
Justin Mullis reviews The Department of Truth: Wild Fictions comic on the AIPT web site. I had seen news about this series that features various paranormal and conspiracy subjects, including cryptids. But comics are not my thing. Justin notes that those who produced this series knew their stuff. This volume features 27 essays (with a fictional premise) where author James Tynion IV takes up the role as a Fortean historian and illustrated by some of best artists in comics today. Note that these are comics aimed at adults.
The Department of Truth: Wild Fictions is a beautifully illustrated, informative and fun, if not essential, companion piece for fans of the comic series. Alternatively, it could also serve as an introduction for anyone who’s interested in ghosts, UFOs, and cryptids but isn’t reading what’s easily one of the best comics to ever examine these phenomena.
I might have to give this one a whirl!
Snallygaster vs Snoligoster
Prior to a year ago, the Snallygaster/Snoligoster existed only in the forgotten corners of my mind as crazy stories about ridiculous creatures. Well, we’re in the era of Pop Cryptids so all the monsters, crazy or not, are stepping up to be re-noticed. The Snallygaster is a folklore creature from Maryland described as a one-eyed flying reptile with both a beak and teeth, as well as face tentacles. It was said to swoop down to carry off its victims, even children, and drain their blood. The accepted story is that the creature derived from tales from German immigrants to South Mountain, now Frederick, MD. The local newspaper kicked up their readership in 1909 when some colorful characters reported that the creature was back on the hunt.
It was only a few months ago that someone on social media brought up the “snoligoster” when I assumed that creature was a variant on the snallygaster and of the same origin. Interestingly, the snoli/snolly creature came from slightly more southern latitudes. This beast haunted Lake Okechobee in Florida and was said to resemble a furred crocodile with no legs but a propeller for a tail. It has a large spine on its back used to impale the victim it catches then tosses. Gruesome! Eventually, the propeller is used to pulverize the prey. The Snoligoster appears in Cox’s Fearsome Creatures volume from 1910.
Even though some online sources dispute these two creatures stem from the same distant origin, they undoubtedly have more in common than their wild descriptions suggest. Both are only very loosely based on real animals, ridiculously embellished. Both are likely based on the German words schnelle geeschter, meaning quick spirits. According to an explanation in Merriam-Webster dictionary, snollygoster comes well before snallygaster; the former dates to the 1840s, while our earliest use of the latter comes in 1900 (in what appears to be a misspelling of snollygoster). The term also was widely used in the 19th and early 20th century to mean “a shrewd, unprincipled person” particularly one intent on running for political office. (Consider that Maryland borders D.C.) Since the origins relating to monster tales may have grown from the immigrant communities, we may not have earlier popular records of its use. So the timelines remain murky – that’s work for folklorists and linguists.
The nastiest characteristic in common is the use of both creatures as a way to intimidate slaves who might have considered escaping into the forests or swamps. The snally or snolly stories were told with awful racial connotations in their time. It’s clear that the word, in whichever form, was intended to signify a monstrous and dangerous evil that was not much of a threat to wealthy white city folk.
The Snallygaster has been winning the popularity contest lately with its appearance in Fallout 76 and its own museum in Maryland. The Snally is leaving the Snoli back in the swamp, and attempting to leave behind it’s racist past. It’s also worth considering that the more northern Snally has similarities with the Jersey Devil, also a winged dragon-like monster of political origin who terrorized towns, coincidentally, in the 1730s and 1909, same as the Snally in MD. Some people might suggest they are the same cryptid. Hmm, what Jabberwocky is this?
Even with limited source material, there is a lot more to unpack about the snally/snolly. I have yet to sort it all out. Due to the overlap and evolution of various tales, disentangling the legends entirely isn’t realistic. What is clear is that the Snallygaster is now a pop cryptid of some renown with an unfortunately sinister, repugnant past.
Thanks for reading! Send comments, questions, or suggestions to sharon(at)sharonahill.com. If you want to send some cryptid plushies or other merch, or books to review, email for my physical mailing address.
For more, click on Pop goes the Cryptid landing page. Make sure you subscribe to all the posts – it’s always free and I don’t send annoying spam.
Pop Cryptid Spectator is also available on Substack. Please share this with cryptid fans you know!
Pop Cryptid Spectator Pop Cryptid Spectator 8Pop Cryptid Spectator 7
Pop Cryptid Spectator 6
Pop Cryptid Spectator 5
Pop Cryptid Spectator 4
Pop Cryptid Spectator 3
Pop Cryptid Spectator 2
Pop Cryptid Spectator 1
#1 #chupacabra #cryptid #Cryptozoology #deathOfAUnicorn #popCryptid #reddit #rollerCoaster #scientific #seaSerpents #Skinwalker #Wendigo
-
Pop Cryptid Spectator 9
Welcome to the PCS 9th edition. The appetite for cryptid-tourism is on the rise. Today’s cryptid fan is all about the experience. Not only are people eager to check out the supposed hangouts of mysterious monsters, but they also want to put their travels and beliefs on display via social media. Getting a cool pic in a monster stop is guaranteed to get likes. This edition of the Pop Cryptid Spectator is heavy on tourism and how towns love their local beasts (even if they used to hate them).
In this edition:
- Cryptid media: Creating the Loch Ness Monster
- Ogopogo statue updated
- The Big Muddy Murphysboro monster file
- Continuing the tradition of paranormal lore in West Virginia
- Wild Fictions comic is great intro to Fortean topics
- Snallygaster vs Snoligoster
Cryptid media: Creating the Loch Ness Monster
Loch Ness is inseparable from its monster legend. The towns around the lake seem to have adjusted to the outsider interest over the past 50 years.
In the 2023 documentary, Loch Ness: They Created a Monster, by Hopscotch films, now available for viewing, we have a veritable Who’s Who of the people involved in the investigations at Loch Ness at the height of it all – the late 1960s to the early 80s. At that time, the idea that there could be some mysterious unknown creature in the lake was at its peak. Monster hunters from all over the world tried their new gadgets and courage over and under the water, hoping to be the one who nabbed the prize.
The location supported multiple dedicated loch watchers including Frank Searle, Tim Dinsdale, and those volunteering with the Loch Ness Investigation Bureau. The documentary mostly concentrates on Searle, his highly questionable “evidence”, and dubious reputation. Searle exited the scene under equally dramatic circumstances, which is built into the context of the presentation. If I list all the well-known people in this production, I’m afraid I’ll miss someone. Tune in to enjoy the images and activities of a younger Adrian Shine, Youshio Kuo, Lee Frank, Robert Rines, and many more! From the Hopscotch website:
The darkly comic story of the Nessie hunters who camped out on the shores of Loch Ness throughout the 1970s and 1980s. Featuring an international cast of dedicated scientists and extraordinary eccentrics who chased, but never found, the dinosaur-like creature who may live in the depths of the loch. The film shows how the absence of concrete evidence and the allure of fame gradually tainted the once-serene Loch with frustration, egos, and broken dreams.
At the dawn of the 21st century, the possibility of Nessie as a single zoological entity waiting to be found had diminished to near 0. But the appeal remains, as the parade of tourists attests. And people will forever be “seeing” what they believe.
The film is currently being shown on BBC-2 but you might be able to catch it on Daily Motion if it doesn’t suddenly disappear into the depths of the internet.
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8rbf66
Ogopogo statue updated
The statue of Ogopogo in Kelowna, British Columbia is a fixture in the town that loves its lake monster. As part of a waterfront renovation, it’s being moved to make more room for tourist interactions. The monster of Lake Okanagan will also have a misting station so people can cool off on hot days.
Ogopogo got much of council’s attention during a lengthy report of various city parks-related initiatives planned for this year. That reflects their awareness of the significance Kelowna residents place on Ogopogo, particularly the downtown sculpture which is probably the most photographed piece of public art in the city.
“I don’t know how many people have children in pictures sitting on Ogopogo’s head dating back decades and decades,” acting mayor Luke Stack said. “Really, it has become part of the heritage of our community and it’s really an important asset to protect and continue to promote.”
Don’t forget Frogman fest
As mentioned in the last PCS, the Loveland Ohio Frogman festival is coming up this weekend. The frogman officially becoming the city’s mascot in 2023. From this latest article, costumes are encouraged. The festival is more about fun than zoology, as pop cryptids go.
The Big Muddy Murphysboro monster file
Speaking of town monsters, Murphysboro, Illinois has their own creature, the Big Muddy Monster, which is clearly a Bigfoot relative. The town has developed a very slick website featuring a case file of the monster information. The file contains digital scans of the police reports from 1973 and 1976 and photos taken by the Murphysboro Police Department, artist sketches made from the eye witness reports, and news clippings and letters from around the world. Original sources like this are invaluable but often hard to come by. This is a little gold mine.
Continuing the tradition of paranormal lore in West Virginia
West Virginia never fails to capitalize on their spooky reputation. The Frank and Jane Gabor West Virginia Folklife Center at Fairmont State University are looking for your best ghost and monster tales for an upcoming publication. The small, independently published booklet called Traditions: The Ghost of Ruth Ann and Other Local West Virginia Lore will highlight the best stories with the intent to preserve local lore and tradition. The project is a collaboration with the podcast team who organized the Veggie Man Day. That’s a Veggie tale for another time…
Wild Fictions comic is great intro to Fortean topics
Justin Mullis reviews The Department of Truth: Wild Fictions comic on the AIPT web site. I had seen news about this series that features various paranormal and conspiracy subjects, including cryptids. But comics are not my thing. Justin notes that those who produced this series knew their stuff. This volume features 27 essays (with a fictional premise) where author James Tynion IV takes up the role as a Fortean historian and illustrated by some of best artists in comics today. Note that these are comics aimed at adults.
The Department of Truth: Wild Fictions is a beautifully illustrated, informative and fun, if not essential, companion piece for fans of the comic series. Alternatively, it could also serve as an introduction for anyone who’s interested in ghosts, UFOs, and cryptids but isn’t reading what’s easily one of the best comics to ever examine these phenomena.
I might have to give this one a whirl!
Snallygaster vs Snoligoster
Prior to a year ago, the Snallygaster/Snoligoster existed only in the forgotten corners of my mind as crazy stories about ridiculous creatures. Well, we’re in the era of Pop Cryptids so all the monsters, crazy or not, are stepping up to be re-noticed. The Snallygaster is a folklore creature from Maryland described as a one-eyed flying reptile with both a beak and teeth, as well as face tentacles. It was said to swoop down to carry off its victims, even children, and drain their blood. The accepted story is that the creature derived from tales from German immigrants to South Mountain, now Frederick, MD. The local newspaper kicked up their readership in 1909 when some colorful characters reported that the creature was back on the hunt.
It was only a few months ago that someone on social media brought up the “snoligoster” when I assumed that creature was a variant on the snallygaster and of the same origin. Interestingly, the snoli/snolly creature came from slightly more southern latitudes. This beast haunted Lake Okechobee in Florida and was said to resemble a furred crocodile with no legs but a propeller for a tail. It has a large spine on its back used to impale the victim it catches then tosses. Gruesome! Eventually, the propeller is used to pulverize the prey. The Snoligoster appears in Cox’s Fearsome Creatures volume from 1910.
Even though some online sources dispute these two creatures stem from the same distant origin, they undoubtedly have more in common than their wild descriptions suggest. Both are only very loosely based on real animals, ridiculously embellished. Both are likely based on the German words schnelle geeschter, meaning quick spirits. According to an explanation in Merriam-Webster dictionary, snollygoster comes well before snallygaster; the former dates to the 1840s, while our earliest use of the latter comes in 1900 (in what appears to be a misspelling of snollygoster). The term also was widely used in the 19th and early 20th century to mean “a shrewd, unprincipled person” particularly one intent on running for political office. (Consider that Maryland borders D.C.) Since the origins relating to monster tales may have grown from the immigrant communities, we may not have earlier popular records of its use. So the timelines remain murky – that’s work for folklorists and linguists.
The nastiest characteristic in common is the use of both creatures as a way to intimidate slaves who might have considered escaping into the forests or swamps. The snally or snolly stories were told with awful racial connotations in their time. It’s clear that the word, in whichever form, was intended to signify a monstrous and dangerous evil that was not much of a threat to wealthy white city folk.
The Snallygaster has been winning the popularity contest lately with its appearance in Fallout 76 and its own museum in Maryland. The Snally is leaving the Snoli back in the swamp, and attempting to leave behind it’s racist past. It’s also worth considering that the more northern Snally has similarities with the Jersey Devil, also a winged dragon-like monster of political origin who terrorized towns, coincidentally, in the 1730s and 1909, same as the Snally in MD. Some people might suggest they are the same cryptid. Hmm, what Jabberwocky is this?
Even with limited source material, there is a lot more to unpack about the snally/snolly. I have yet to sort it all out. Due to the overlap and evolution of various tales, disentangling the legends entirely isn’t realistic. What is clear is that the Snallygaster is now a pop cryptid of some renown with an unfortunately sinister, repugnant past.
Thanks for reading! Send comments, questions, or suggestions to sharon(at)sharonahill.com. If you want to send some cryptid plushies or other merch, or books to review, email for my physical mailing address.
For more, click on Pop goes the Cryptid landing page. Make sure you subscribe to all the posts – it’s always free and I don’t send annoying spam.
Pop Cryptid Spectator is also available on Substack. Please share this with cryptid fans you know!
Pop Cryptid Spectator Pop Cryptid Spectator 8Pop Cryptid Spectator 7
Pop Cryptid Spectator 6
Pop Cryptid Spectator 5
Pop Cryptid Spectator 4
Pop Cryptid Spectator 3
Pop Cryptid Spectator 2
Pop Cryptid Spectator 1
#1 #chupacabra #cryptid #Cryptozoology #deathOfAUnicorn #popCryptid #reddit #rollerCoaster #scientific #seaSerpents #Skinwalker #Wendigo
-
Pop Cryptid Spectator 9
Welcome to the PCS 9th edition. The appetite for cryptid-tourism is on the rise. Today’s cryptid fan is all about the experience. Not only are people eager to check out the supposed hangouts of mysterious monsters, but they also want to put their travels and beliefs on display via social media. Getting a cool pic in a monster stop is guaranteed to get likes. This edition of the Pop Cryptid Spectator is heavy on tourism and how towns love their local beasts (even if they used to hate them).
In this edition:
- Cryptid media: Creating the Loch Ness Monster
- Ogopogo statue updated
- The Big Muddy Murphysboro monster file
- Continuing the tradition of paranormal lore in West Virginia
- Wild Fictions comic is great intro to Fortean topics
- Snallygaster vs Snoligoster
Cryptid media: Creating the Loch Ness Monster
Loch Ness is inseparable from its monster legend. The towns around the lake seem to have adjusted to the outsider interest over the past 50 years.
In the 2023 documentary, Loch Ness: They Created a Monster, by Hopscotch films, now available for viewing, we have a veritable Who’s Who of the people involved in the investigations at Loch Ness at the height of it all – the late 1960s to the early 80s. At that time, the idea that there could be some mysterious unknown creature in the lake was at its peak. Monster hunters from all over the world tried their new gadgets and courage over and under the water, hoping to be the one who nabbed the prize.
The location supported multiple dedicated loch watchers including Frank Searle, Tim Dinsdale, and those volunteering with the Loch Ness Investigation Bureau. The documentary mostly concentrates on Searle, his highly questionable “evidence”, and dubious reputation. Searle exited the scene under equally dramatic circumstances, which is built into the context of the presentation. If I list all the well-known people in this production, I’m afraid I’ll miss someone. Tune in to enjoy the images and activities of a younger Adrian Shine, Youshio Kuo, Lee Frank, Robert Rines, and many more! From the Hopscotch website:
The darkly comic story of the Nessie hunters who camped out on the shores of Loch Ness throughout the 1970s and 1980s. Featuring an international cast of dedicated scientists and extraordinary eccentrics who chased, but never found, the dinosaur-like creature who may live in the depths of the loch. The film shows how the absence of concrete evidence and the allure of fame gradually tainted the once-serene Loch with frustration, egos, and broken dreams.
At the dawn of the 21st century, the possibility of Nessie as a single zoological entity waiting to be found had diminished to near 0. But the appeal remains, as the parade of tourists attests. And people will forever be “seeing” what they believe.
The film is currently being shown on BBC-2 but you might be able to catch it on Daily Motion if it doesn’t suddenly disappear into the depths of the internet.
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8rbf66
Ogopogo statue updated
The statue of Ogopogo in Kelowna, British Columbia is a fixture in the town that loves its lake monster. As part of a waterfront renovation, it’s being moved to make more room for tourist interactions. The monster of Lake Okanagan will also have a misting station so people can cool off on hot days.
Ogopogo got much of council’s attention during a lengthy report of various city parks-related initiatives planned for this year. That reflects their awareness of the significance Kelowna residents place on Ogopogo, particularly the downtown sculpture which is probably the most photographed piece of public art in the city.
“I don’t know how many people have children in pictures sitting on Ogopogo’s head dating back decades and decades,” acting mayor Luke Stack said. “Really, it has become part of the heritage of our community and it’s really an important asset to protect and continue to promote.”
Don’t forget Frogman fest
As mentioned in the last PCS, the Loveland Ohio Frogman festival is coming up this weekend. The frogman officially becoming the city’s mascot in 2023. From this latest article, costumes are encouraged. The festival is more about fun than zoology, as pop cryptids go.
The Big Muddy Murphysboro monster file
Speaking of town monsters, Murphysboro, Illinois has their own creature, the Big Muddy Monster, which is clearly a Bigfoot relative. The town has developed a very slick website featuring a case file of the monster information. The file contains digital scans of the police reports from 1973 and 1976 and photos taken by the Murphysboro Police Department, artist sketches made from the eye witness reports, and news clippings and letters from around the world. Original sources like this are invaluable but often hard to come by. This is a little gold mine.
Continuing the tradition of paranormal lore in West Virginia
West Virginia never fails to capitalize on their spooky reputation. The Frank and Jane Gabor West Virginia Folklife Center at Fairmont State University are looking for your best ghost and monster tales for an upcoming publication. The small, independently published booklet called Traditions: The Ghost of Ruth Ann and Other Local West Virginia Lore will highlight the best stories with the intent to preserve local lore and tradition. The project is a collaboration with the podcast team who organized the Veggie Man Day. That’s a Veggie tale for another time…
Wild Fictions comic is great intro to Fortean topics
Justin Mullis reviews The Department of Truth: Wild Fictions comic on the AIPT web site. I had seen news about this series that features various paranormal and conspiracy subjects, including cryptids. But comics are not my thing. Justin notes that those who produced this series knew their stuff. This volume features 27 essays (with a fictional premise) where author James Tynion IV takes up the role as a Fortean historian and illustrated by some of best artists in comics today. Note that these are comics aimed at adults.
The Department of Truth: Wild Fictions is a beautifully illustrated, informative and fun, if not essential, companion piece for fans of the comic series. Alternatively, it could also serve as an introduction for anyone who’s interested in ghosts, UFOs, and cryptids but isn’t reading what’s easily one of the best comics to ever examine these phenomena.
I might have to give this one a whirl!
Snallygaster vs Snoligoster
Prior to a year ago, the Snallygaster/Snoligoster existed only in the forgotten corners of my mind as crazy stories about ridiculous creatures. Well, we’re in the era of Pop Cryptids so all the monsters, crazy or not, are stepping up to be re-noticed. The Snallygaster is a folklore creature from Maryland described as a one-eyed flying reptile with both a beak and teeth, as well as face tentacles. It was said to swoop down to carry off its victims, even children, and drain their blood. The accepted story is that the creature derived from tales from German immigrants to South Mountain, now Frederick, MD. The local newspaper kicked up their readership in 1909 when some colorful characters reported that the creature was back on the hunt.
It was only a few months ago that someone on social media brought up the “snoligoster” when I assumed that creature was a variant on the snallygaster and of the same origin. Interestingly, the snoli/snolly creature came from slightly more southern latitudes. This beast haunted Lake Okechobee in Florida and was said to resemble a furred crocodile with no legs but a propeller for a tail. It has a large spine on its back used to impale the victim it catches then tosses. Gruesome! Eventually, the propeller is used to pulverize the prey. The Snoligoster appears in Cox’s Fearsome Creatures volume from 1910.
Even though some online sources dispute these two creatures stem from the same distant origin, they undoubtedly have more in common than their wild descriptions suggest. Both are only very loosely based on real animals, ridiculously embellished. Both are likely based on the German words schnelle geeschter, meaning quick spirits. According to an explanation in Merriam-Webster dictionary, snollygoster comes well before snallygaster; the former dates to the 1840s, while our earliest use of the latter comes in 1900 (in what appears to be a misspelling of snollygoster). The term also was widely used in the 19th and early 20th century to mean “a shrewd, unprincipled person” particularly one intent on running for political office. (Consider that Maryland borders D.C.) Since the origins relating to monster tales may have grown from the immigrant communities, we may not have earlier popular records of its use. So the timelines remain murky – that’s work for folklorists and linguists.
The nastiest characteristic in common is the use of both creatures as a way to intimidate slaves who might have considered escaping into the forests or swamps. The snally or snolly stories were told with awful racial connotations in their time. It’s clear that the word, in whichever form, was intended to signify a monstrous and dangerous evil that was not much of a threat to wealthy white city folk.
The Snallygaster has been winning the popularity contest lately with its appearance in Fallout 76 and its own museum in Maryland. The Snally is leaving the Snoli back in the swamp, and attempting to leave behind it’s racist past. It’s also worth considering that the more northern Snally has similarities with the Jersey Devil, also a winged dragon-like monster of political origin who terrorized towns, coincidentally, in the 1730s and 1909, same as the Snally in MD. Some people might suggest they are the same cryptid. Hmm, what Jabberwocky is this?
Even with limited source material, there is a lot more to unpack about the snally/snolly. I have yet to sort it all out. Due to the overlap and evolution of various tales, disentangling the legends entirely isn’t realistic. What is clear is that the Snallygaster is now a pop cryptid of some renown with an unfortunately sinister, repugnant past.
Thanks for reading! Send comments, questions, or suggestions to sharon(at)sharonahill.com. If you want to send some cryptid plushies or other merch, or books to review, email for my physical mailing address.
For more, click on Pop goes the Cryptid landing page. Make sure you subscribe to all the posts – it’s always free and I don’t send annoying spam.
Pop Cryptid Spectator is also available on Substack. Please share this with cryptid fans you know!
Pop Cryptid Spectator Pop Cryptid Spectator 8Pop Cryptid Spectator 7
Pop Cryptid Spectator 6
Pop Cryptid Spectator 5
Pop Cryptid Spectator 4
Pop Cryptid Spectator 3
Pop Cryptid Spectator 2
Pop Cryptid Spectator 1
#1 #chupacabra #cryptid #Cryptozoology #deathOfAUnicorn #popCryptid #reddit #rollerCoaster #scientific #seaSerpents #Skinwalker #Wendigo
-
Pop Cryptid Spectator 9
Welcome to the PCS 9th edition. The appetite for cryptid-tourism is on the rise. Today’s cryptid fan is all about the experience. Not only are people eager to check out the supposed hangouts of mysterious monsters, but they also want to put their travels and beliefs on display via social media. Getting a cool pic in a monster stop is guaranteed to get likes. This edition of the Pop Cryptid Spectator is heavy on tourism and how towns love their local beasts (even if they used to hate them).
In this edition:
- Cryptid media: Creating the Loch Ness Monster
- Ogopogo statue updated
- The Big Muddy Murphysboro monster file
- Continuing the tradition of paranormal lore in West Virginia
- Wild Fictions comic is great intro to Fortean topics
- Snallygaster vs Snoligoster
Cryptid media: Creating the Loch Ness Monster
Loch Ness is inseparable from its monster legend. The towns around the lake seem to have adjusted to the outsider interest over the past 50 years.
In the 2023 documentary, Loch Ness: They Created a Monster, by Hopscotch films, now available for viewing, we have a veritable Who’s Who of the people involved in the investigations at Loch Ness at the height of it all – the late 1960s to the early 80s. At that time, the idea that there could be some mysterious unknown creature in the lake was at its peak. Monster hunters from all over the world tried their new gadgets and courage over and under the water, hoping to be the one who nabbed the prize.
The location supported multiple dedicated loch watchers including Frank Searle, Tim Dinsdale, and those volunteering with the Loch Ness Investigation Bureau. The documentary mostly concentrates on Searle, his highly questionable “evidence”, and dubious reputation. Searle exited the scene under equally dramatic circumstances, which is built into the context of the presentation. If I list all the well-known people in this production, I’m afraid I’ll miss someone. Tune in to enjoy the images and activities of a younger Adrian Shine, Youshio Kuo, Lee Frank, Robert Rines, and many more! From the Hopscotch website:
The darkly comic story of the Nessie hunters who camped out on the shores of Loch Ness throughout the 1970s and 1980s. Featuring an international cast of dedicated scientists and extraordinary eccentrics who chased, but never found, the dinosaur-like creature who may live in the depths of the loch. The film shows how the absence of concrete evidence and the allure of fame gradually tainted the once-serene Loch with frustration, egos, and broken dreams.
At the dawn of the 21st century, the possibility of Nessie as a single zoological entity waiting to be found had diminished to near 0. But the appeal remains, as the parade of tourists attests. And people will forever be “seeing” what they believe.
The film is currently being shown on BBC-2 but you might be able to catch it on Daily Motion if it doesn’t suddenly disappear into the depths of the internet.
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8rbf66
Ogopogo statue updated
The statue of Ogopogo in Kelowna, British Columbia is a fixture in the town that loves its lake monster. As part of a waterfront renovation, it’s being moved to make more room for tourist interactions. The monster of Lake Okanagan will also have a misting station so people can cool off on hot days.
Ogopogo got much of council’s attention during a lengthy report of various city parks-related initiatives planned for this year. That reflects their awareness of the significance Kelowna residents place on Ogopogo, particularly the downtown sculpture which is probably the most photographed piece of public art in the city.
“I don’t know how many people have children in pictures sitting on Ogopogo’s head dating back decades and decades,” acting mayor Luke Stack said. “Really, it has become part of the heritage of our community and it’s really an important asset to protect and continue to promote.”
Don’t forget Frogman fest
As mentioned in the last PCS, the Loveland Ohio Frogman festival is coming up this weekend. The frogman officially becoming the city’s mascot in 2023. From this latest article, costumes are encouraged. The festival is more about fun than zoology, as pop cryptids go.
The Big Muddy Murphysboro monster file
Speaking of town monsters, Murphysboro, Illinois has their own creature, the Big Muddy Monster, which is clearly a Bigfoot relative. The town has developed a very slick website featuring a case file of the monster information. The file contains digital scans of the police reports from 1973 and 1976 and photos taken by the Murphysboro Police Department, artist sketches made from the eye witness reports, and news clippings and letters from around the world. Original sources like this are invaluable but often hard to come by. This is a little gold mine.
Continuing the tradition of paranormal lore in West Virginia
West Virginia never fails to capitalize on their spooky reputation. The Frank and Jane Gabor West Virginia Folklife Center at Fairmont State University are looking for your best ghost and monster tales for an upcoming publication. The small, independently published booklet called Traditions: The Ghost of Ruth Ann and Other Local West Virginia Lore will highlight the best stories with the intent to preserve local lore and tradition. The project is a collaboration with the podcast team who organized the Veggie Man Day. That’s a Veggie tale for another time…
Wild Fictions comic is great intro to Fortean topics
Justin Mullis reviews The Department of Truth: Wild Fictions comic on the AIPT web site. I had seen news about this series that features various paranormal and conspiracy subjects, including cryptids. But comics are not my thing. Justin notes that those who produced this series knew their stuff. This volume features 27 essays (with a fictional premise) where author James Tynion IV takes up the role as a Fortean historian and illustrated by some of best artists in comics today. Note that these are comics aimed at adults.
The Department of Truth: Wild Fictions is a beautifully illustrated, informative and fun, if not essential, companion piece for fans of the comic series. Alternatively, it could also serve as an introduction for anyone who’s interested in ghosts, UFOs, and cryptids but isn’t reading what’s easily one of the best comics to ever examine these phenomena.
I might have to give this one a whirl!
Snallygaster vs Snoligoster
Prior to a year ago, the Snallygaster/Snoligoster existed only in the forgotten corners of my mind as crazy stories about ridiculous creatures. Well, we’re in the era of Pop Cryptids so all the monsters, crazy or not, are stepping up to be re-noticed. The Snallygaster is a folklore creature from Maryland described as a one-eyed flying reptile with both a beak and teeth, as well as face tentacles. It was said to swoop down to carry off its victims, even children, and drain their blood. The accepted story is that the creature derived from tales from German immigrants to South Mountain, now Frederick, MD. The local newspaper kicked up their readership in 1909 when some colorful characters reported that the creature was back on the hunt.
It was only a few months ago that someone on social media brought up the “snoligoster” when I assumed that creature was a variant on the snallygaster and of the same origin. Interestingly, the snoli/snolly creature came from slightly more southern latitudes. This beast haunted Lake Okechobee in Florida and was said to resemble a furred crocodile with no legs but a propeller for a tail. It has a large spine on its back used to impale the victim it catches then tosses. Gruesome! Eventually, the propeller is used to pulverize the prey. The Snoligoster appears in Cox’s Fearsome Creatures volume from 1910.
Even though some online sources dispute these two creatures stem from the same distant origin, they undoubtedly have more in common than their wild descriptions suggest. Both are only very loosely based on real animals, ridiculously embellished. Both are likely based on the German words schnelle geeschter, meaning quick spirits. According to an explanation in Merriam-Webster dictionary, snollygoster comes well before snallygaster; the former dates to the 1840s, while our earliest use of the latter comes in 1900 (in what appears to be a misspelling of snollygoster). The term also was widely used in the 19th and early 20th century to mean “a shrewd, unprincipled person” particularly one intent on running for political office. (Consider that Maryland borders D.C.) Since the origins relating to monster tales may have grown from the immigrant communities, we may not have earlier popular records of its use. So the timelines remain murky – that’s work for folklorists and linguists.
The nastiest characteristic in common is the use of both creatures as a way to intimidate slaves who might have considered escaping into the forests or swamps. The snally or snolly stories were told with awful racial connotations in their time. It’s clear that the word, in whichever form, was intended to signify a monstrous and dangerous evil that was not much of a threat to wealthy white city folk.
The Snallygaster has been winning the popularity contest lately with its appearance in Fallout 76 and its own museum in Maryland. The Snally is leaving the Snoli back in the swamp, and attempting to leave behind it’s racist past. It’s also worth considering that the more northern Snally has similarities with the Jersey Devil, also a winged dragon-like monster of political origin who terrorized towns, coincidentally, in the 1730s and 1909, same as the Snally in MD. Some people might suggest they are the same cryptid. Hmm, what Jabberwocky is this?
Even with limited source material, there is a lot more to unpack about the snally/snolly. I have yet to sort it all out. Due to the overlap and evolution of various tales, disentangling the legends entirely isn’t realistic. What is clear is that the Snallygaster is now a pop cryptid of some renown with an unfortunately sinister, repugnant past.
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