#nospoons — Public Fediverse posts
Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #nospoons, aggregated by home.social.
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Today my brain went something like: Ghhaaaaaarrggggghhhhh! ... 💡!
I think a penny got stuck a long while back & finally worked itself loose & dropped.I started looking into & bullet journalling several years ago after my brief encounter with mental health services & the woman running the 6 session group therapy suggested it.
Thanks to Pinterest I quick fell in love with the idea, though possibly for the wrong reasons as I have never been able to wrap my head round trying to recreate or at least achieve something that functions how I want & somehow with zero extra time & effort achieving such decorative masterpieces.
The first 2 - 3 years it sort of worked but the effort of hand drawing every page & the time it consumed seemed to be eating at me & in the last 2 - 3 years it began to percolate through to me that it might be part of why I lack the spoons, time & energy to do anything.
In the last few years I kept falling behind & would spend the early months of the new year finishing my entries for last year transferring them from note app to physical bullet journal.
This year, I got last year's up to date but this year's feels like a non-starter. January & February are drawn up & ready to fill in but I'm just not feeling it.
I guess today is the day I say, nope to adding something potentially useful but ultimately getting in the way of trying to improve my life.
So, no more bullet journalling this year, though I might, when the mood takes me & I can actually spare the spoons look at what things I'd actually find useful to track & maybe track them separately in the future unless I find the ideal solution to my bullet journalling woes.#Clarity #MomentOfClarity #AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#Focus #SelfCare -
Today my brain went something like: Ghhaaaaaarrggggghhhhh! ... 💡!
I think a penny got stuck a long while back & finally worked itself loose & dropped.I started looking into & bullet journalling several years ago after my brief encounter with mental health services & the woman running the 6 session group therapy suggested it.
Thanks to Pinterest I quick fell in love with the idea, though possibly for the wrong reasons as I have never been able to wrap my head round trying to recreate or at least achieve something that functions how I want & somehow with zero extra time & effort achieving such decorative masterpieces.
The first 2 - 3 years it sort of worked but the effort of hand drawing every page & the time it consumed seemed to be eating at me & in the last 2 - 3 years it began to percolate through to me that it might be part of why I lack the spoons, time & energy to do anything.
In the last few years I kept falling behind & would spend the early months of the new year finishing my entries for last year transferring them from note app to physical bullet journal.
This year, I got last year's up to date but this year's feels like a non-starter. January & February are drawn up & ready to fill in but I'm just not feeling it.
I guess today is the day I say, nope to adding something potentially useful but ultimately getting in the way of trying to improve my life.
So, no more bullet journalling this year, though I might, when the mood takes me & I can actually spare the spoons look at what things I'd actually find useful to track & maybe track them separately in the future unless I find the ideal solution to my bullet journalling woes.#Clarity #MomentOfClarity #AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#Focus #SelfCare -
Today my brain went something like: Ghhaaaaaarrggggghhhhh! ... 💡!
I think a penny got stuck a long while back & finally worked itself loose & dropped.I started looking into & bullet journalling several years ago after my brief encounter with mental health services & the woman running the 6 session group therapy suggested it.
Thanks to Pinterest I quick fell in love with the idea, though possibly for the wrong reasons as I have never been able to wrap my head round trying to recreate or at least achieve something that functions how I want & somehow with zero extra time & effort achieving such decorative masterpieces.
The first 2 - 3 years it sort of worked but the effort of hand drawing every page & the time it consumed seemed to be eating at me & in the last 2 - 3 years it began to percolate through to me that it might be part of why I lack the spoons, time & energy to do anything.
In the last few years I kept falling behind & would spend the early months of the new year finishing my entries for last year transferring them from note app to physical bullet journal.
This year, I got last year's up to date but this year's feels like a non-starter. January & February are drawn up & ready to fill in but I'm just not feeling it.
I guess today is the day I say, nope to adding something potentially useful but ultimately getting in the way of trying to improve my life.
So, no more bullet journalling this year, though I might, when the mood takes me & I can actually spare the spoons look at what things I'd actually find useful to track & maybe track them separately in the future unless I find the ideal solution to my bullet journalling woes.#Clarity #MomentOfClarity #AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#Focus #SelfCare -
Today my brain went something like: Ghhaaaaaarrggggghhhhh! ... 💡!
I think a penny got stuck a long while back & finally worked itself loose & dropped.I started looking into & bullet journalling several years ago after my brief encounter with mental health services & the woman running the 6 session group therapy suggested it.
Thanks to Pinterest I quick fell in love with the idea, though possibly for the wrong reasons as I have never been able to wrap my head round trying to recreate or at least achieve something that functions how I want & somehow with zero extra time & effort achieving such decorative masterpieces.
The first 2 - 3 years it sort of worked but the effort of hand drawing every page & the time it consumed seemed to be eating at me & in the last 2 - 3 years it began to percolate through to me that it might be part of why I lack the spoons, time & energy to do anything.
In the last few years I kept falling behind & would spend the early months of the new year finishing my entries for last year transferring them from note app to physical bullet journal.
This year, I got last year's up to date but this year's feels like a non-starter. January & February are drawn up & ready to fill in but I'm just not feeling it.
I guess today is the day I say, nope to adding something potentially useful but ultimately getting in the way of trying to improve my life.
So, no more bullet journalling this year, though I might, when the mood takes me & I can actually spare the spoons look at what things I'd actually find useful to track & maybe track them separately in the future unless I find the ideal solution to my bullet journalling woes.#Clarity #MomentOfClarity #AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#Focus #SelfCare -
Today my brain went something like: Ghhaaaaaarrggggghhhhh! ... 💡!
I think a penny got stuck a long while back & finally worked itself loose & dropped.I started looking into & bullet journalling several years ago after my brief encounter with mental health services & the woman running the 6 session group therapy suggested it.
Thanks to Pinterest I quick fell in love with the idea, though possibly for the wrong reasons as I have never been able to wrap my head round trying to recreate or at least achieve something that functions how I want & somehow with zero extra time & effort achieving such decorative masterpieces.
The first 2 - 3 years it sort of worked but the effort of hand drawing every page & the time it consumed seemed to be eating at me & in the last 2 - 3 years it began to percolate through to me that it might be part of why I lack the spoons, time & energy to do anything.
In the last few years I kept falling behind & would spend the early months of the new year finishing my entries for last year transferring them from note app to physical bullet journal.
This year, I got last year's up to date but this year's feels like a non-starter. January & February are drawn up & ready to fill in but I'm just not feeling it.
I guess today is the day I say, nope to adding something potentially useful but ultimately getting in the way of trying to improve my life.
So, no more bullet journalling this year, though I might, when the mood takes me & I can actually spare the spoons look at what things I'd actually find useful to track & maybe track them separately in the future unless I find the ideal solution to my bullet journalling woes.#Clarity #MomentOfClarity #AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#Focus #SelfCare -
Ever had one of those days where, it's been so frelling long that you've forgotten what it's like to not be in burnout but you're also just mad at everything because there's no way out of burnout?
No official diagnosis & your GP threw out the preliminary test that said you're a good candidate for autism that you got years ago. The waiting list is impossibly long so by the time you:
1) Pluck up the dice / spoons to face the GP (I'm still working on it 😣)...
2) Get an appointment & (by a miracle) maybe still have the dice / spoons...
3) Actually persuade the GP an AuDHD diagnosis is what you need...
4) Jump through whatever hoops to get the preliminaries sorted...
5) Get the green light for getting a diagnosis...... You'll be waiting so long, you won't need it anymore as you're too old to work & are on minimum pension.
My messed up bodyclock doesn't help either.
Oh, it's you Depression... 😫... Just what I need 😡😩.
I hate it when I give myself reality checks 😔.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#SelfCare #Depression
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems -
Ever had one of those days where, it's been so frelling long that you've forgotten what it's like to not be in burnout but you're also just mad at everything because there's no way out of burnout?
No official diagnosis & your GP threw out the preliminary test that said you're a good candidate for autism that you got years ago. The waiting list is impossibly long so by the time you:
1) Pluck up the dice / spoons to face the GP (I'm still working on it 😣)...
2) Get an appointment & (by a miracle) maybe still have the dice / spoons...
3) Actually persuade the GP an AuDHD diagnosis is what you need...
4) Jump through whatever hoops to get the preliminaries sorted...
5) Get the green light for getting a diagnosis...... You'll be waiting so long, you won't need it anymore as you're too old to work & are on minimum pension.
My messed up bodyclock doesn't help either.
Oh, it's you Depression... 😫... Just what I need 😡😩.
I hate it when I give myself reality checks 😔.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#SelfCare #Depression
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems -
Ever had one of those days where, it's been so frelling long that you've forgotten what it's like to not be in burnout but you're also just mad at everything because there's no way out of burnout?
No official diagnosis & your GP threw out the preliminary test that said you're a good candidate for autism that you got years ago. The waiting list is impossibly long so by the time you:
1) Pluck up the dice / spoons to face the GP (I'm still working on it 😣)...
2) Get an appointment & (by a miracle) maybe still have the dice / spoons...
3) Actually persuade the GP an AuDHD diagnosis is what you need...
4) Jump through whatever hoops to get the preliminaries sorted...
5) Get the green light for getting a diagnosis...... You'll be waiting so long, you won't need it anymore as you're too old to work & are on minimum pension.
My messed up bodyclock doesn't help either.
Oh, it's you Depression... 😫... Just what I need 😡😩.
I hate it when I give myself reality checks 😔.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#SelfCare #Depression
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems -
Ever had one of those days where, it's been so frelling long that you've forgotten what it's like to not be in burnout but you're also just mad at everything because there's no way out of burnout?
No official diagnosis & your GP threw out the preliminary test that said you're a good candidate for autism that you got years ago. The waiting list is impossibly long so by the time you:
1) Pluck up the dice / spoons to face the GP (I'm still working on it 😣)...
2) Get an appointment & (by a miracle) maybe still have the dice / spoons...
3) Actually persuade the GP an AuDHD diagnosis is what you need...
4) Jump through whatever hoops to get the preliminaries sorted...
5) Get the green light for getting a diagnosis...... You'll be waiting so long, you won't need it anymore as you're too old to work & are on minimum pension.
My messed up bodyclock doesn't help either.
Oh, it's you Depression... 😫... Just what I need 😡😩.
I hate it when I give myself reality checks 😔.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#SelfCare #Depression
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems -
Ever had one of those days where, it's been so frelling long that you've forgotten what it's like to not be in burnout but you're also just mad at everything because there's no way out of burnout?
No official diagnosis & your GP threw out the preliminary test that said you're a good candidate for autism that you got years ago. The waiting list is impossibly long so by the time you:
1) Pluck up the dice / spoons to face the GP (I'm still working on it 😣)...
2) Get an appointment & (by a miracle) maybe still have the dice / spoons...
3) Actually persuade the GP an AuDHD diagnosis is what you need...
4) Jump through whatever hoops to get the preliminaries sorted...
5) Get the green light for getting a diagnosis...... You'll be waiting so long, you won't need it anymore as you're too old to work & are on minimum pension.
My messed up bodyclock doesn't help either.
Oh, it's you Depression... 😫... Just what I need 😡😩.
I hate it when I give myself reality checks 😔.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#SelfCare #Depression
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems -
CW: Nightmare with child harm, the state of the world because of the few world class criminals.
Weird, or just because of the state of the world.
Looking at you, Fart stain (trump) & you Nastyyahoo (Netinyahu(?)) In particular. Putler's (Putin's) lackies, doing his dirty work? 🤷Woke up because of bad dream that would definitely fit in with the kind of horror movies involving the supernatural & hauntings. I don't remember much apart from the most horrendous outcome, resulting in the house, or people being haunted by a screaming baby that's completely unrecognisable because it's just this black shape, burned completely.
That's probably the bit that woke me up.Checked the time (07:30) & tried to get back to sleep... Must have drifted as I found myself with the same people being forced to go different ways one North, the other South & a long way away from their home. They split up to wait for, I assume their respective transport.
Dream cuts to the inhuman screaming from previous dream & I'm back at the place that's now haunted by this ghost or entity of this burned baby. It's pitch black but when the ghost shows up I can still see it's shiny black form that looks like it's become more demon with more bulk & fat folds than any baby would have.
That's my cue & I'm awake. It's 08:00.I felt awake but my eyes were & at 09:00 (now) still are, "nope, not ready."
This timeline is gross.
Why are people who have rap sheets a mile long & growing day by day in charge of entire countries, with other countries (🙄SOME other countries), mine included 🫣🤬, more or less going, "yes sir ,no sir, three bags full." for these criminals who should have been jailed years ago?!Sorry for spreading more negativity but I needed it out & shouting at a wall or a door wasn't going to cut it.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #Depression #SleepProblems
#Greed #PoliticalCorruption #CriminalsInPower #MassMurderers
#RapistsInPower #PedophilesInPower #ChildMurderersInPower
#EpicFails #Enshittification -
CW: Nightmare with child harm, the state of the world because of the few world class criminals.
Weird, or just because of the state of the world.
Looking at you, Fart stain (trump) & you Nastyyahoo (Netinyahu(?)) In particular. Putler's (Putin's) lackies, doing his dirty work? 🤷Woke up because of bad dream that would definitely fit in with the kind of horror movies involving the supernatural & hauntings. I don't remember much apart from the most horrendous outcome, resulting in the house, or people being haunted by a screaming baby that's completely unrecognisable because it's just this black shape, burned completely.
That's probably the bit that woke me up.Checked the time (07:30) & tried to get back to sleep... Must have drifted as I found myself with the same people being forced to go different ways one North, the other South & a long way away from their home. They split up to wait for, I assume their respective transport.
Dream cuts to the inhuman screaming from previous dream & I'm back at the place that's now haunted by this ghost or entity of this burned baby. It's pitch black but when the ghost shows up I can still see it's shiny black form that looks like it's become more demon with more bulk & fat folds than any baby would have.
That's my cue & I'm awake. It's 08:00.I felt awake but my eyes were & at 09:00 (now) still are, "nope, not ready."
This timeline is gross.
Why are people who have rap sheets a mile long & growing day by day in charge of entire countries, with other countries (🙄SOME other countries), mine included 🫣🤬, more or less going, "yes sir ,no sir, three bags full." for these criminals who should have been jailed years ago?!Sorry for spreading more negativity but I needed it out & shouting at a wall or a door wasn't going to cut it.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #Depression #SleepProblems
#Greed #PoliticalCorruption #CriminalsInPower #MassMurderers
#RapistsInPower #PedophilesInPower #ChildMurderersInPower
#EpicFails #Enshittification -
CW: Nightmare with child harm, the state of the world because of the few world class criminals.
Weird, or just because of the state of the world.
Looking at you, Fart stain (trump) & you Nastyyahoo (Netinyahu(?)) In particular. Putler's (Putin's) lackies, doing his dirty work? 🤷Woke up because of bad dream that would definitely fit in with the kind of horror movies involving the supernatural & hauntings. I don't remember much apart from the most horrendous outcome, resulting in the house, or people being haunted by a screaming baby that's completely unrecognisable because it's just this black shape, burned completely.
That's probably the bit that woke me up.Checked the time (07:30) & tried to get back to sleep... Must have drifted as I found myself with the same people being forced to go different ways one North, the other South & a long way away from their home. They split up to wait for, I assume their respective transport.
Dream cuts to the inhuman screaming from previous dream & I'm back at the place that's now haunted by this ghost or entity of this burned baby. It's pitch black but when the ghost shows up I can still see it's shiny black form that looks like it's become more demon with more bulk & fat folds than any baby would have.
That's my cue & I'm awake. It's 08:00.I felt awake but my eyes were & at 09:00 (now) still are, "nope, not ready."
This timeline is gross.
Why are people who have rap sheets a mile long & growing day by day in charge of entire countries, with other countries (🙄SOME other countries), mine included 🫣🤬, more or less going, "yes sir ,no sir, three bags full." for these criminals who should have been jailed years ago?!Sorry for spreading more negativity but I needed it out & shouting at a wall or a door wasn't going to cut it.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #Depression #SleepProblems
#Greed #PoliticalCorruption #CriminalsInPower #MassMurderers
#RapistsInPower #PedophilesInPower #ChildMurderersInPower
#EpicFails #Enshittification -
CW: Nightmare with child harm, the state of the world because of the few world class criminals.
Weird, or just because of the state of the world.
Looking at you, Fart stain (trump) & you Nastyyahoo (Netinyahu(?)) In particular. Putler's (Putin's) lackies, doing his dirty work? 🤷Woke up because of bad dream that would definitely fit in with the kind of horror movies involving the supernatural & hauntings. I don't remember much apart from the most horrendous outcome, resulting in the house, or people being haunted by a screaming baby that's completely unrecognisable because it's just this black shape, burned completely.
That's probably the bit that woke me up.Checked the time (07:30) & tried to get back to sleep... Must have drifted as I found myself with the same people being forced to go different ways one North, the other South & a long way away from their home. They split up to wait for, I assume their respective transport.
Dream cuts to the inhuman screaming from previous dream & I'm back at the place that's now haunted by this ghost or entity of this burned baby. It's pitch black but when the ghost shows up I can still see it's shiny black form that looks like it's become more demon with more bulk & fat folds than any baby would have.
That's my cue & I'm awake. It's 08:00.I felt awake but my eyes were & at 09:00 (now) still are, "nope, not ready."
This timeline is gross.
Why are people who have rap sheets a mile long & growing day by day in charge of entire countries, with other countries (🙄SOME other countries), mine included 🫣🤬, more or less going, "yes sir ,no sir, three bags full." for these criminals who should have been jailed years ago?!Sorry for spreading more negativity but I needed it out & shouting at a wall or a door wasn't going to cut it.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #Depression #SleepProblems
#Greed #PoliticalCorruption #CriminalsInPower #MassMurderers
#RapistsInPower #PedophilesInPower #ChildMurderersInPower
#EpicFails #Enshittification -
CW: Nightmare with child harm, the state of the world because of the few world class criminals.
Weird, or just because of the state of the world.
Looking at you, Fart stain (trump) & you Nastyyahoo (Netinyahu(?)) In particular. Putler's (Putin's) lackies, doing his dirty work? 🤷Woke up because of bad dream that would definitely fit in with the kind of horror movies involving the supernatural & hauntings. I don't remember much apart from the most horrendous outcome, resulting in the house, or people being haunted by a screaming baby that's completely unrecognisable because it's just this black shape, burned completely.
That's probably the bit that woke me up.Checked the time (07:30) & tried to get back to sleep... Must have drifted as I found myself with the same people being forced to go different ways one North, the other South & a long way away from their home. They split up to wait for, I assume their respective transport.
Dream cuts to the inhuman screaming from previous dream & I'm back at the place that's now haunted by this ghost or entity of this burned baby. It's pitch black but when the ghost shows up I can still see it's shiny black form that looks like it's become more demon with more bulk & fat folds than any baby would have.
That's my cue & I'm awake. It's 08:00.I felt awake but my eyes were & at 09:00 (now) still are, "nope, not ready."
This timeline is gross.
Why are people who have rap sheets a mile long & growing day by day in charge of entire countries, with other countries (🙄SOME other countries), mine included 🫣🤬, more or less going, "yes sir ,no sir, three bags full." for these criminals who should have been jailed years ago?!Sorry for spreading more negativity but I needed it out & shouting at a wall or a door wasn't going to cut it.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #Depression #SleepProblems
#Greed #PoliticalCorruption #CriminalsInPower #MassMurderers
#RapistsInPower #PedophilesInPower #ChildMurderersInPower
#EpicFails #Enshittification -
Dear Old Git Time,
Please rewind, hold your horses, slow down, chill, take a break, hit pause, back it up, go back a bit, and a bit more, give me a chance, calm down dear, for the love of sanity STOP!
Yours Sincerely,
Tired of Always Losing Huge Chunks of My Day#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
-
Was going to keep today a Do Stuff day so I could zombie my way through that (recovering from being up several hours earlier than I'm used to & having to people & adult most of yesterday) so I can actually enjoy my duvet day tomorrow.
Enter fly in the ointment.
Tomorrow is more going out & peopling 😱. Then next weekend Saturday is more peopling & being social at friends' (shared) birthday.
Problem with this picture, Saturdays & Mondays are usually duvet days.One positive is, I've already tackled today's adulting, phoning my Mam so hopefully she won't phone me later today 🤞.
Can I book my 12 month cryostasis treatment now!?
No, I'm not asking for a friend.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#SelfCare #Life -
My getting up has slipped into the afternoons & I'm not happy about it.
Especially as in a few days I'll have to be up before 07:00 to be able to spend the day on an outing with friends. 🫣Stricter morning routine?
- Alarm goes, switch on radio or preselected podcast instead of noticing the Mastodon notifications so I don't vanish down a 40+ notification hole?
🤔 … 🤔 In theory very easy to do, in practice very difficult to stick to, as my AuDHD screams for comfort from not being ready to face the day.- Swap chores around with things I enjoy, want to get stuck into?
My big worry is that once I start the thing I want to do I will ignore all cues for stopping & doing the 'must do' tasks.One possible fix for ignoring cues, is have lunch be the cut off point as I, like a lot of critters can be greatly motivated by food.
Current problem, lunch is around 18:00 give or take an hour & as I'm painfully aware of it being evening my brain & body default to evening mode, time to read or ideally, relax so those 'must do' tasks have pretty much a zero chance of happening.I guess, I might be spending some time working this one out this afternoon / evening. I don't mind spending my evenings messing with dilemmas like this, as long as I can shove a movie I enjoy on whilst I'm doing it 🙂.
… That's if I remember 😅.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare -
My getting up has slipped into the afternoons & I'm not happy about it.
Especially as in a few days I'll have to be up before 07:00 to be able to spend the day on an outing with friends. 🫣Stricter morning routine?
- Alarm goes, switch on radio or preselected podcast instead of noticing the Mastodon notifications so I don't vanish down a 40+ notification hole?
🤔 … 🤔 In theory very easy to do, in practice very difficult to stick to, as my AuDHD screams for comfort from not being ready to face the day.- Swap chores around with things I enjoy, want to get stuck into?
My big worry is that once I start the thing I want to do I will ignore all cues for stopping & doing the 'must do' tasks.One possible fix for ignoring cues, is have lunch be the cut off point as I, like a lot of critters can be greatly motivated by food.
Current problem, lunch is around 18:00 give or take an hour & as I'm painfully aware of it being evening my brain & body default to evening mode, time to read or ideally, relax so those 'must do' tasks have pretty much a zero chance of happening.I guess, I might be spending some time working this one out this afternoon / evening. I don't mind spending my evenings messing with dilemmas like this, as long as I can shove a movie I enjoy on whilst I'm doing it 🙂.
… That's if I remember 😅.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare -
My getting up has slipped into the afternoons & I'm not happy about it.
Especially as in a few days I'll have to be up before 07:00 to be able to spend the day on an outing with friends. 🫣Stricter morning routine?
- Alarm goes, switch on radio or preselected podcast instead of noticing the Mastodon notifications so I don't vanish down a 40+ notification hole?
🤔 … 🤔 In theory very easy to do, in practice very difficult to stick to, as my AuDHD screams for comfort from not being ready to face the day.- Swap chores around with things I enjoy, want to get stuck into?
My big worry is that once I start the thing I want to do I will ignore all cues for stopping & doing the 'must do' tasks.One possible fix for ignoring cues, is have lunch be the cut off point as I, like a lot of critters can be greatly motivated by food.
Current problem, lunch is around 18:00 give or take an hour & as I'm painfully aware of it being evening my brain & body default to evening mode, time to read or ideally, relax so those 'must do' tasks have pretty much a zero chance of happening.I guess, I might be spending some time working this one out this afternoon / evening. I don't mind spending my evenings messing with dilemmas like this, as long as I can shove a movie I enjoy on whilst I'm doing it 🙂.
… That's if I remember 😅.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare -
My getting up has slipped into the afternoons & I'm not happy about it.
Especially as in a few days I'll have to be up before 07:00 to be able to spend the day on an outing with friends. 🫣Stricter morning routine?
- Alarm goes, switch on radio or preselected podcast instead of noticing the Mastodon notifications so I don't vanish down a 40+ notification hole?
🤔 … 🤔 In theory very easy to do, in practice very difficult to stick to, as my AuDHD screams for comfort from not being ready to face the day.- Swap chores around with things I enjoy, want to get stuck into?
My big worry is that once I start the thing I want to do I will ignore all cues for stopping & doing the 'must do' tasks.One possible fix for ignoring cues, is have lunch be the cut off point as I, like a lot of critters can be greatly motivated by food.
Current problem, lunch is around 18:00 give or take an hour & as I'm painfully aware of it being evening my brain & body default to evening mode, time to read or ideally, relax so those 'must do' tasks have pretty much a zero chance of happening.I guess, I might be spending some time working this one out this afternoon / evening. I don't mind spending my evenings messing with dilemmas like this, as long as I can shove a movie I enjoy on whilst I'm doing it 🙂.
… That's if I remember 😅.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare -
My getting up has slipped into the afternoons & I'm not happy about it.
Especially as in a few days I'll have to be up before 07:00 to be able to spend the day on an outing with friends. 🫣Stricter morning routine?
- Alarm goes, switch on radio or preselected podcast instead of noticing the Mastodon notifications so I don't vanish down a 40+ notification hole?
🤔 … 🤔 In theory very easy to do, in practice very difficult to stick to, as my AuDHD screams for comfort from not being ready to face the day.- Swap chores around with things I enjoy, want to get stuck into?
My big worry is that once I start the thing I want to do I will ignore all cues for stopping & doing the 'must do' tasks.One possible fix for ignoring cues, is have lunch be the cut off point as I, like a lot of critters can be greatly motivated by food.
Current problem, lunch is around 18:00 give or take an hour & as I'm painfully aware of it being evening my brain & body default to evening mode, time to read or ideally, relax so those 'must do' tasks have pretty much a zero chance of happening.I guess, I might be spending some time working this one out this afternoon / evening. I don't mind spending my evenings messing with dilemmas like this, as long as I can shove a movie I enjoy on whilst I'm doing it 🙂.
… That's if I remember 😅.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare -
@actuallyadhd @autistics
I keep forgetting that even good being social knocks me so far sideways that all I've managed is a bit of washing up & hanging washing.
Whilst I loaded & started the washing around midday, it was something after 18:00 before I even got anything else done.Just about managed feeding myself, even though I was hungry for tea I had zero idea or enthusiasm for cooking. Plan A failed as I didn't have any mixed veg in the freezer to go with whatever tinned thing I picked.
Plan B just about made it.🎶 Hello AuDHD,
it's nice to talk with you ag-
…OK! Come back here! …
My plans for getting a decent start on decorations flunked & has not returned.
Just finished tea 'bout half an hour ago & it's already pretty much supper time, if I want a chance of waking up early enough & feeling remotely productive tomorrow, that is.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #SelfCare #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction
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I really wish my Mam wasn't such a technophobe. Doubly annoying that she lives so far away & triply so that she doesn't ask one of her more tech savvy friend's to help her get to grips with her phone.
The flip side is that she's the only person who phones me so I have no way to verify if all the phone call woes are her accidentally triggering things by touching buttons or things on screen (I can imagine her holding the phone slightly away from her ear so the in-call screen is displayed) & putting herself on mute or me on hold.
Is it her or has my phone, network or the Lineage OS developed problems?
After today's particularly Mute & Hold heavy call, or calls - I'd have to hang up & phone her again & again to get back to having a conversation instead of hearing nothing or being on hold - I hope she will take my strong suggestion of asking one, or some of her friends to help her.
I was hoping she would be coming over for xmas or new year's, giving me a chance to check her phone, maybe minimize google spying & if I can figure out how to be patient enough show her how to use her phone whilst knowing she won't remember or will struggle to remember.
I'd also have to hope I can still fathom how phones running android OS work as it's been several years.I don't have the spoons to go visit her & with the festively terrible (non-existant) public transport between hers & the nearest hotel ensuring my spoon tank is permanently empty for the duration so it's probably not a good idea.
Last year I left her's on xmas day just before we were going to have dinner. Walking back to the hotel in tears & having snacks instead of a good meal. I do not recommend as it's probably my worst xmas & would not like a repeat. 😔😢😞.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #SelfCare #Technophobia #TechEducation #TechFails #EpicTechFails #Enshittification
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I really wish my Mam wasn't such a technophobe. Doubly annoying that she lives so far away & triply so that she doesn't ask one of her more tech savvy friend's to help her get to grips with her phone.
The flip side is that she's the only person who phones me so I have no way to verify if all the phone call woes are her accidentally triggering things by touching buttons or things on screen (I can imagine her holding the phone slightly away from her ear so the in-call screen is displayed) & putting herself on mute or me on hold.
Is it her or has my phone, network or the Lineage OS developed problems?
After today's particularly Mute & Hold heavy call, or calls - I'd have to hang up & phone her again & again to get back to having a conversation instead of hearing nothing or being on hold - I hope she will take my strong suggestion of asking one, or some of her friends to help her.
I was hoping she would be coming over for xmas or new year's, giving me a chance to check her phone, maybe minimize google spying & if I can figure out how to be patient enough show her how to use her phone whilst knowing she won't remember or will struggle to remember.
I'd also have to hope I can still fathom how phones running android OS work as it's been several years.I don't have the spoons to go visit her & with the festively terrible (non-existant) public transport between hers & the nearest hotel ensuring my spoon tank is permanently empty for the duration so it's probably not a good idea.
Last year I left her's on xmas day just before we were going to have dinner. Walking back to the hotel in tears & having snacks instead of a good meal. I do not recommend as it's probably my worst xmas & would not like a repeat. 😔😢😞.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #SelfCare #Technophobia #TechEducation #TechFails #EpicTechFails #Enshittification
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I really wish my Mam wasn't such a technophobe. Doubly annoying that she lives so far away & triply so that she doesn't ask one of her more tech savvy friend's to help her get to grips with her phone.
The flip side is that she's the only person who phones me so I have no way to verify if all the phone call woes are her accidentally triggering things by touching buttons or things on screen (I can imagine her holding the phone slightly away from her ear so the in-call screen is displayed) & putting herself on mute or me on hold.
Is it her or has my phone, network or the Lineage OS developed problems?
After today's particularly Mute & Hold heavy call, or calls - I'd have to hang up & phone her again & again to get back to having a conversation instead of hearing nothing or being on hold - I hope she will take my strong suggestion of asking one, or some of her friends to help her.
I was hoping she would be coming over for xmas or new year's, giving me a chance to check her phone, maybe minimize google spying & if I can figure out how to be patient enough show her how to use her phone whilst knowing she won't remember or will struggle to remember.
I'd also have to hope I can still fathom how phones running android OS work as it's been several years.I don't have the spoons to go visit her & with the festively terrible (non-existant) public transport between hers & the nearest hotel ensuring my spoon tank is permanently empty for the duration so it's probably not a good idea.
Last year I left her's on xmas day just before we were going to have dinner. Walking back to the hotel in tears & having snacks instead of a good meal. I do not recommend as it's probably my worst xmas & would not like a repeat. 😔😢😞.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #SelfCare #Technophobia #TechEducation #TechFails #EpicTechFails #Enshittification
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I really wish my Mam wasn't such a technophobe. Doubly annoying that she lives so far away & triply so that she doesn't ask one of her more tech savvy friend's to help her get to grips with her phone.
The flip side is that she's the only person who phones me so I have no way to verify if all the phone call woes are her accidentally triggering things by touching buttons or things on screen (I can imagine her holding the phone slightly away from her ear so the in-call screen is displayed) & putting herself on mute or me on hold.
Is it her or has my phone, network or the Lineage OS developed problems?
After today's particularly Mute & Hold heavy call, or calls - I'd have to hang up & phone her again & again to get back to having a conversation instead of hearing nothing or being on hold - I hope she will take my strong suggestion of asking one, or some of her friends to help her.
I was hoping she would be coming over for xmas or new year's, giving me a chance to check her phone, maybe minimize google spying & if I can figure out how to be patient enough show her how to use her phone whilst knowing she won't remember or will struggle to remember.
I'd also have to hope I can still fathom how phones running android OS work as it's been several years.I don't have the spoons to go visit her & with the festively terrible (non-existant) public transport between hers & the nearest hotel ensuring my spoon tank is permanently empty for the duration so it's probably not a good idea.
Last year I left her's on xmas day just before we were going to have dinner. Walking back to the hotel in tears & having snacks instead of a good meal. I do not recommend as it's probably my worst xmas & would not like a repeat. 😔😢😞.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #SelfCare #Technophobia #TechEducation #TechFails #EpicTechFails #Enshittification
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I really wish my Mam wasn't such a technophobe. Doubly annoying that she lives so far away & triply so that she doesn't ask one of her more tech savvy friend's to help her get to grips with her phone.
The flip side is that she's the only person who phones me so I have no way to verify if all the phone call woes are her accidentally triggering things by touching buttons or things on screen (I can imagine her holding the phone slightly away from her ear so the in-call screen is displayed) & putting herself on mute or me on hold.
Is it her or has my phone, network or the Lineage OS developed problems?
After today's particularly Mute & Hold heavy call, or calls - I'd have to hang up & phone her again & again to get back to having a conversation instead of hearing nothing or being on hold - I hope she will take my strong suggestion of asking one, or some of her friends to help her.
I was hoping she would be coming over for xmas or new year's, giving me a chance to check her phone, maybe minimize google spying & if I can figure out how to be patient enough show her how to use her phone whilst knowing she won't remember or will struggle to remember.
I'd also have to hope I can still fathom how phones running android OS work as it's been several years.I don't have the spoons to go visit her & with the festively terrible (non-existant) public transport between hers & the nearest hotel ensuring my spoon tank is permanently empty for the duration so it's probably not a good idea.
Last year I left her's on xmas day just before we were going to have dinner. Walking back to the hotel in tears & having snacks instead of a good meal. I do not recommend as it's probably my worst xmas & would not like a repeat. 😔😢😞.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #SelfCare #Technophobia #TechEducation #TechFails #EpicTechFails #Enshittification
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Really need to get to bed before midnight tonight, or I turn into a gremlin or something 🤷.
I need to start reclaiming my mornings as it would be nice to get to about lunch time & actually have accomplished some thing. Just simple things maybe but things like a bit of house cleaning, going for a walk, some reading & maybe a little bit of writing & drawing.
Maybe it could boost my confidence & make it possible to volunteer somewhere, even if the local volunteering options are only charity shop work.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare #Depression #Life #Sleep #SleepProblems
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Really need to get to bed before midnight tonight, or I turn into a gremlin or something 🤷.
I need to start reclaiming my mornings as it would be nice to get to about lunch time & actually have accomplished some thing. Just simple things maybe but things like a bit of house cleaning, going for a walk, some reading & maybe a little bit of writing & drawing.
Maybe it could boost my confidence & make it possible to volunteer somewhere, even if the local volunteering options are only charity shop work.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare #Depression #Life #Sleep #SleepProblems
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Really need to get to bed before midnight tonight, or I turn into a gremlin or something 🤷.
I need to start reclaiming my mornings as it would be nice to get to about lunch time & actually have accomplished some thing. Just simple things maybe but things like a bit of house cleaning, going for a walk, some reading & maybe a little bit of writing & drawing.
Maybe it could boost my confidence & make it possible to volunteer somewhere, even if the local volunteering options are only charity shop work.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare #Depression #Life #Sleep #SleepProblems
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Really need to get to bed before midnight tonight, or I turn into a gremlin or something 🤷.
I need to start reclaiming my mornings as it would be nice to get to about lunch time & actually have accomplished some thing. Just simple things maybe but things like a bit of house cleaning, going for a walk, some reading & maybe a little bit of writing & drawing.
Maybe it could boost my confidence & make it possible to volunteer somewhere, even if the local volunteering options are only charity shop work.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare #Depression #Life #Sleep #SleepProblems
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Really need to get to bed before midnight tonight, or I turn into a gremlin or something 🤷.
I need to start reclaiming my mornings as it would be nice to get to about lunch time & actually have accomplished some thing. Just simple things maybe but things like a bit of house cleaning, going for a walk, some reading & maybe a little bit of writing & drawing.
Maybe it could boost my confidence & make it possible to volunteer somewhere, even if the local volunteering options are only charity shop work.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare #Depression #Life #Sleep #SleepProblems
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Wishing my burnout would just walk out the door instead of always bouncing back at me off the doorframe.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
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#Espresso or #ImperialStout? My nose knows the truth. Am home and lying on the couch. #NoSpoons Chris is not available. Please check back in 15 minutes after naps.
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#Espresso or #ImperialStout? My nose knows the truth. Am home and lying on the couch. #NoSpoons Chris is not available. Please check back in 15 minutes after naps.
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#Espresso or #ImperialStout? My nose knows the truth. Am home and lying on the couch. #NoSpoons Chris is not available. Please check back in 15 minutes after naps.
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#Espresso or #ImperialStout? My nose knows the truth. Am home and lying on the couch. #NoSpoons Chris is not available. Please check back in 15 minutes after naps.
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#Espresso or #ImperialStout? My nose knows the truth. Am home and lying on the couch. #NoSpoons Chris is not available. Please check back in 15 minutes after naps.
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Shopping done & I should not have looked at the time.
Well, all unpacked & the food prep is now done. Let's just say lunch & tea now occupy more or less the same space. I just need a large hadron collider so I can send my lunch & tea to collide & become one meal.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #Life #Adulting #Food
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Today is not going according to my wishes or vague plans. Trying not to stress out over it & I'm losing myself in thoughts over how to simplify & organise next year's bullet journal.
This spiralled into, how can I get back on the, dealing with housework & cleaning wagon, as at some point I completely fell off. So, major paralysis on how or where to start.Toying with the idea of introducing a, do one small thing everyday either before or immediately after breakfast, so that it's done.
Just small things like, clean the bathroom sink or pick up some random crap that I never tidied up.If I can persuade myself to write down that I did it & when & then do the same for the following times that things get done, I might eventually have a realistic roster of things. Just need to remember to keep it flexible. If the day the floor need vacuuming I'm not up to it, swap it for something else or just shunt everything along a day.
As long as I don't fall into the trap of shunting things along indefinitely, I might be okay.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Life #TidyUp #CleanUp #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
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My mom wanted us to get groceries earlier today for her. I was already worried about it because I wasn’t very awake yet. I began getting more and more anxious while driving because I obviously didn’t want to get into an accident. When we actually got to the store I stayed in the car and tried to not have a panic attack. By the time Wren got back out with the food I was somewhat more awake so driving home was a little easier. My stepdad pulled me aside later and was asking if I’m okay & how I should let them help me. He was saying that the attacks are going to get worse as I get older if I don’t get help for them. I really do want therapy again but I’ve been putting it off for various reasons. I miss my therapist that I had for several years. I hope that she’s doing okay. I was supposed to get an autism assessment done where she works but by the time I was called about an appointment I had just moved to a new state. Part of me doesn’t want the assessment now because people will always treat someone who’s diagnosed with autism poorly. Not to mention that Trump is not helping with the ableism with the dumb things he’s said lately about being on the spectrum.
#Ramblings #Sonder-complains #anxiety-disorder #panic-attacks #autistic #ableism #neurodivergent #no-spoons -
@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic
Today's diary entry:
Good decision to ditch any schedule & just roll with the day. Even though I wouldn't say I did much at all, there were things I just got up & did, which if I'd had a schedule I'd just have left because not scheduled & I need my dice for my scheduled tasks.Sharing because, instead of a day of being useless I found that there were little things that I now, with my, two dice short of a spoon, levels could do & finally also felt like I had the time to do them.
Whilst, small & easy things to do, they still made me feel like I'd done something, especially as some of them have been neglected.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #Depression #SelfCare
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@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic
Today's plans got chucked in the bin last night.
First I messed up, then my guts kept me awake for 1½ hours. Still had a few things planned but I'll try & see if today can be used to begin weaning me off plans.
If in can wean myself off plans, maybe I can begin to learn to be a bit more spontaneous, or so goes the theory.First, try wrapping my head around the 'be kind / gentle with yourself' mantra as I always fall into the trap of, '-but this needs doing, or I can quickly do this, & that & probably this thing!
Next thing I know, it's taken me 6 - 8 hours not including food breaks to get these three, quick & simple tasks done & I'm as relaxed as mouse in a trap, being stalked by a cat.Here's hoping I can put a crack in that self-destructive cycle.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#Depression #Sleep #SleepProblems -
@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic
Waking up & wondering why my bedside lamp is on & why my phone isn't next to it?
Especially as I remember putting phone next to it & switching the lamp off.
Hello, life stresses. What's happening now?Also, why does my body default to 6 hours sleep? When it clearly needs more? And yet it won't let me install the Nap Time plugin I so desperately need.
Result: permanent dice / spoon deficit
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
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@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic
Me & my brain are so out of sync. Part of my brain wants to be creative by writing who knows what (I have no clue) or maybe scribbling some things on large paper to be turned into something arty. It also wants to go out, either on a pub crawl or clubbing as long as it's something social but not boring (anything sedate/mundane).
It wants to turn one room into a place that I can instantly turn into either a space to be creative or where I can shove my Bluetooth headphones on, switch the lights to party-mode & pour myself a drink whilst asking me how my day was as the music plays & gets me moving.
The remainder of my brain, or rather my physical self is too exhausted & out of dice & spoons.
Mentally bouncing off the walls whilst in burnout is … annoying.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
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Feeling wierdly inspired to make a schedule or roster. Problem is I know I'm either, A) going to try it & fail within minutes, hours, days or at some point in the second week or, B) will find myself unable to try it because I've forgotten there's things I need to do that don't fit or because I just don't have the dice/spoons/battery.
It is of course typical that I'm settling down to have supper & watch a film before making an attempt to get to bed before 00:30 instead of after 02:30 when.this urge has to strike. I would like to be able to enjoy my mornings without sleeping or dozing through them.
Fingers 🤞 the movie & my supper distract me enough to leave it till a more sensible time.#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Hyperfocus #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #Focus #Life #Sleep #SleepProblems
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What became of my usually busy day with a medium to heavy peopling afternoon?
I had my reasons for not wanting a Windoze PC, ever.
I failed to leave the house for artistic peopling & shopping.
I failed to leave the house to just do shopping.I did tackle some washing up.
I did read my paper & my books & some lunch in between.
I just about made tea.Now, wrapping my head round delousing the PC or I might leave it till tomorrow.
Either way, I've felt ready to crash the whole day.
…
Sod it, PC can wait, where's the TV's HDMI cable? My laptop needs it!
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
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How a little problem can wreck a day on Planet Autistic:
No art group for me today. To many spoons & time wasted on trying to watch Netflix on a freshly de-Copiloted Win 10 nightmare.
Just going to do my household task(s) & maybe drag myself out on a food purchasing run, probably on foot as I'm not sure I can handle driving right now. Though I'm not sure I'm up for walking anywhere either.
If I get my arse in gear & get things done early enough, & dice / spoon reserves permitting, I'll fix the PC by switching to my preferred Linux OS that doesn't block me from enjoying the websites I enjoy.
If not, I'll hook my TV up to my laptop & deal with the PC another day.There's probably more but those spoons have been obliterated so I can't see or feel or sound out what to write about it.
EDIT: Nope, definitely not enough spoonery in the jar so no going out the door into the big, real world outside. Can't even face getting changed into my people facing gear.
#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
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CW: chronic illness, internalized ableism
Today’s got me wondering when I’m going to feel ok again. Not even good, just reasonably ok enough to get back to a somewhat normal daily routine.
As it stands I’m getting maybe three hours a day where I feel ok enough to do anything in a non-painstaking way. The rest of the time I’m either unable to do anything at all, or I’m doing something at a snail’s pace miserably, or I’m asleep/lying in bed. I have to be very careful and strategic about how and where I spend my energy. Most of it goes to my dog or to basic self-care, like eating.
I’ve been struggling for a long time—most of my life— but this is at a whole new level. I guess on the ‘bright’ side I can say that I’m appreciating my previous norm, which was also limiting.
… And I do appreciate too the clarity that this has given me in terms of showing me that I’m dealing with a physical problem that I’ve been looking at through a scope of internalized ableism, making myself believe I could do more if only I push. And then allowing myself to blame myself. Now there’s no question of pushing; I simply can’t.