#nospoons — Public Fediverse posts

@actuallyadhd @autistics

Today my brain went something like: Ghhaaaaaarrggggghhhhh! ... 💡!
I think a penny got stuck a long while back & finally worked itself loose & dropped.

I started looking into & bullet journalling several years ago after my brief encounter with mental health services & the woman running the 6 session group therapy suggested it.

Thanks to Pinterest I quick fell in love with the idea, though possibly for the wrong reasons as I have never been able to wrap my head round trying to recreate or at least achieve something that functions how I want & somehow with zero extra time & effort achieving such decorative masterpieces.

The first 2 - 3 years it sort of worked but the effort of hand drawing every page & the time it consumed seemed to be eating at me & in the last 2 - 3 years it began to percolate through to me that it might be part of why I lack the spoons, time & energy to do anything.

In the last few years I kept falling behind & would spend the early months of the new year finishing my entries for last year transferring them from note app to physical bullet journal.

This year, I got last year's up to date but this year's feels like a non-starter. January & February are drawn up & ready to fill in but I'm just not feeling it.

I guess today is the day I say, nope to adding something potentially useful but ultimately getting in the way of trying to improve my life.
So, no more bullet journalling this year, though I might, when the mood takes me & I can actually spare the spoons look at what things I'd actually find useful to track & maybe track them separately in the future unless I find the ideal solution to my bullet journalling woes.

#Clarity #MomentOfClarity #AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#Focus #SelfCare

@actuallyadhd @autistics

Today my brain went something like: Ghhaaaaaarrggggghhhhh! ... 💡!
I think a penny got stuck a long while back & finally worked itself loose & dropped.

I started looking into & bullet journalling several years ago after my brief encounter with mental health services & the woman running the 6 session group therapy suggested it.

Thanks to Pinterest I quick fell in love with the idea, though possibly for the wrong reasons as I have never been able to wrap my head round trying to recreate or at least achieve something that functions how I want & somehow with zero extra time & effort achieving such decorative masterpieces.

The first 2 - 3 years it sort of worked but the effort of hand drawing every page & the time it consumed seemed to be eating at me & in the last 2 - 3 years it began to percolate through to me that it might be part of why I lack the spoons, time & energy to do anything.

In the last few years I kept falling behind & would spend the early months of the new year finishing my entries for last year transferring them from note app to physical bullet journal.

This year, I got last year's up to date but this year's feels like a non-starter. January & February are drawn up & ready to fill in but I'm just not feeling it.

I guess today is the day I say, nope to adding something potentially useful but ultimately getting in the way of trying to improve my life.
So, no more bullet journalling this year, though I might, when the mood takes me & I can actually spare the spoons look at what things I'd actually find useful to track & maybe track them separately in the future unless I find the ideal solution to my bullet journalling woes.

#Clarity #MomentOfClarity #AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#Focus #SelfCare

@actuallyadhd @autistics

Today my brain went something like: Ghhaaaaaarrggggghhhhh! ... 💡!
I think a penny got stuck a long while back & finally worked itself loose & dropped.

I started looking into & bullet journalling several years ago after my brief encounter with mental health services & the woman running the 6 session group therapy suggested it.

Thanks to Pinterest I quick fell in love with the idea, though possibly for the wrong reasons as I have never been able to wrap my head round trying to recreate or at least achieve something that functions how I want & somehow with zero extra time & effort achieving such decorative masterpieces.

The first 2 - 3 years it sort of worked but the effort of hand drawing every page & the time it consumed seemed to be eating at me & in the last 2 - 3 years it began to percolate through to me that it might be part of why I lack the spoons, time & energy to do anything.

In the last few years I kept falling behind & would spend the early months of the new year finishing my entries for last year transferring them from note app to physical bullet journal.

This year, I got last year's up to date but this year's feels like a non-starter. January & February are drawn up & ready to fill in but I'm just not feeling it.

I guess today is the day I say, nope to adding something potentially useful but ultimately getting in the way of trying to improve my life.
So, no more bullet journalling this year, though I might, when the mood takes me & I can actually spare the spoons look at what things I'd actually find useful to track & maybe track them separately in the future unless I find the ideal solution to my bullet journalling woes.

#Clarity #MomentOfClarity #AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#Focus #SelfCare

@actuallyadhd @autistics

Today my brain went something like: Ghhaaaaaarrggggghhhhh! ... 💡!
I think a penny got stuck a long while back & finally worked itself loose & dropped.

I started looking into & bullet journalling several years ago after my brief encounter with mental health services & the woman running the 6 session group therapy suggested it.

Thanks to Pinterest I quick fell in love with the idea, though possibly for the wrong reasons as I have never been able to wrap my head round trying to recreate or at least achieve something that functions how I want & somehow with zero extra time & effort achieving such decorative masterpieces.

The first 2 - 3 years it sort of worked but the effort of hand drawing every page & the time it consumed seemed to be eating at me & in the last 2 - 3 years it began to percolate through to me that it might be part of why I lack the spoons, time & energy to do anything.

In the last few years I kept falling behind & would spend the early months of the new year finishing my entries for last year transferring them from note app to physical bullet journal.

This year, I got last year's up to date but this year's feels like a non-starter. January & February are drawn up & ready to fill in but I'm just not feeling it.

I guess today is the day I say, nope to adding something potentially useful but ultimately getting in the way of trying to improve my life.
So, no more bullet journalling this year, though I might, when the mood takes me & I can actually spare the spoons look at what things I'd actually find useful to track & maybe track them separately in the future unless I find the ideal solution to my bullet journalling woes.

#Clarity #MomentOfClarity #AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#Focus #SelfCare

@actuallyadhd @autistics

Today my brain went something like: Ghhaaaaaarrggggghhhhh! ... 💡!
I think a penny got stuck a long while back & finally worked itself loose & dropped.

I started looking into & bullet journalling several years ago after my brief encounter with mental health services & the woman running the 6 session group therapy suggested it.

Thanks to Pinterest I quick fell in love with the idea, though possibly for the wrong reasons as I have never been able to wrap my head round trying to recreate or at least achieve something that functions how I want & somehow with zero extra time & effort achieving such decorative masterpieces.

The first 2 - 3 years it sort of worked but the effort of hand drawing every page & the time it consumed seemed to be eating at me & in the last 2 - 3 years it began to percolate through to me that it might be part of why I lack the spoons, time & energy to do anything.

In the last few years I kept falling behind & would spend the early months of the new year finishing my entries for last year transferring them from note app to physical bullet journal.

This year, I got last year's up to date but this year's feels like a non-starter. January & February are drawn up & ready to fill in but I'm just not feeling it.

I guess today is the day I say, nope to adding something potentially useful but ultimately getting in the way of trying to improve my life.
So, no more bullet journalling this year, though I might, when the mood takes me & I can actually spare the spoons look at what things I'd actually find useful to track & maybe track them separately in the future unless I find the ideal solution to my bullet journalling woes.

#Clarity #MomentOfClarity #AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#Focus #SelfCare

@actuallyadhd @autistics

Ever had one of those days where, it's been so frelling long that you've forgotten what it's like to not be in burnout but you're also just mad at everything because there's no way out of burnout?

No official diagnosis & your GP threw out the preliminary test that said you're a good candidate for autism that you got years ago. The waiting list is impossibly long so by the time you:
1) Pluck up the dice / spoons to face the GP (I'm still working on it 😣)...
2) Get an appointment & (by a miracle) maybe still have the dice / spoons...
3) Actually persuade the GP an AuDHD diagnosis is what you need...
4) Jump through whatever hoops to get the preliminaries sorted...
5) Get the green light for getting a diagnosis...

... You'll be waiting so long, you won't need it anymore as you're too old to work & are on minimum pension.

My messed up bodyclock doesn't help either.

Oh, it's you Depression... 😫... Just what I need 😡😩.

I hate it when I give myself reality checks 😔.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#SelfCare #Depression
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems

@actuallyadhd @autistics

Ever had one of those days where, it's been so frelling long that you've forgotten what it's like to not be in burnout but you're also just mad at everything because there's no way out of burnout?

No official diagnosis & your GP threw out the preliminary test that said you're a good candidate for autism that you got years ago. The waiting list is impossibly long so by the time you:
1) Pluck up the dice / spoons to face the GP (I'm still working on it 😣)...
2) Get an appointment & (by a miracle) maybe still have the dice / spoons...
3) Actually persuade the GP an AuDHD diagnosis is what you need...
4) Jump through whatever hoops to get the preliminaries sorted...
5) Get the green light for getting a diagnosis...

... You'll be waiting so long, you won't need it anymore as you're too old to work & are on minimum pension.

My messed up bodyclock doesn't help either.

Oh, it's you Depression... 😫... Just what I need 😡😩.

I hate it when I give myself reality checks 😔.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#SelfCare #Depression
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems

@actuallyadhd @autistics

Ever had one of those days where, it's been so frelling long that you've forgotten what it's like to not be in burnout but you're also just mad at everything because there's no way out of burnout?

No official diagnosis & your GP threw out the preliminary test that said you're a good candidate for autism that you got years ago. The waiting list is impossibly long so by the time you:
1) Pluck up the dice / spoons to face the GP (I'm still working on it 😣)...
2) Get an appointment & (by a miracle) maybe still have the dice / spoons...
3) Actually persuade the GP an AuDHD diagnosis is what you need...
4) Jump through whatever hoops to get the preliminaries sorted...
5) Get the green light for getting a diagnosis...

... You'll be waiting so long, you won't need it anymore as you're too old to work & are on minimum pension.

My messed up bodyclock doesn't help either.

Oh, it's you Depression... 😫... Just what I need 😡😩.

I hate it when I give myself reality checks 😔.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#SelfCare #Depression
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems

@actuallyadhd @autistics

Ever had one of those days where, it's been so frelling long that you've forgotten what it's like to not be in burnout but you're also just mad at everything because there's no way out of burnout?

No official diagnosis & your GP threw out the preliminary test that said you're a good candidate for autism that you got years ago. The waiting list is impossibly long so by the time you:
1) Pluck up the dice / spoons to face the GP (I'm still working on it 😣)...
2) Get an appointment & (by a miracle) maybe still have the dice / spoons...
3) Actually persuade the GP an AuDHD diagnosis is what you need...
4) Jump through whatever hoops to get the preliminaries sorted...
5) Get the green light for getting a diagnosis...

... You'll be waiting so long, you won't need it anymore as you're too old to work & are on minimum pension.

My messed up bodyclock doesn't help either.

Oh, it's you Depression... 😫... Just what I need 😡😩.

I hate it when I give myself reality checks 😔.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#SelfCare #Depression
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems

@actuallyadhd @autistics

Ever had one of those days where, it's been so frelling long that you've forgotten what it's like to not be in burnout but you're also just mad at everything because there's no way out of burnout?

No official diagnosis & your GP threw out the preliminary test that said you're a good candidate for autism that you got years ago. The waiting list is impossibly long so by the time you:
1) Pluck up the dice / spoons to face the GP (I'm still working on it 😣)...
2) Get an appointment & (by a miracle) maybe still have the dice / spoons...
3) Actually persuade the GP an AuDHD diagnosis is what you need...
4) Jump through whatever hoops to get the preliminaries sorted...
5) Get the green light for getting a diagnosis...

... You'll be waiting so long, you won't need it anymore as you're too old to work & are on minimum pension.

My messed up bodyclock doesn't help either.

Oh, it's you Depression... 😫... Just what I need 😡😩.

I hate it when I give myself reality checks 😔.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#SelfCare #Depression
#Life #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems

Dear Old Git Time,

Please rewind, hold your horses, slow down, chill, take a break, hit pause, back it up, go back a bit, and a bit more, give me a chance, calm down dear, for the love of sanity STOP!

Yours Sincerely,
Tired of Always Losing Huge Chunks of My Day

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons

@actuallyadhd @autistics

My getting up has slipped into the afternoons & I'm not happy about it.
Especially as in a few days I'll have to be up before 07:00 to be able to spend the day on an outing with friends. 🫣

Stricter morning routine?
- Alarm goes, switch on radio or preselected podcast instead of noticing the Mastodon notifications so I don't vanish down a 40+ notification hole?
🤔 … 🤔 In theory very easy to do, in practice very difficult to stick to, as my AuDHD screams for comfort from not being ready to face the day.

- Swap chores around with things I enjoy, want to get stuck into?
My big worry is that once I start the thing I want to do I will ignore all cues for stopping & doing the 'must do' tasks.

One possible fix for ignoring cues, is have lunch be the cut off point as I, like a lot of critters can be greatly motivated by food.
Current problem, lunch is around 18:00 give or take an hour & as I'm painfully aware of it being evening my brain & body default to evening mode, time to read or ideally, relax so those 'must do' tasks have pretty much a zero chance of happening.

I guess, I might be spending some time working this one out this afternoon / evening. I don't mind spending my evenings messing with dilemmas like this, as long as I can shove a movie I enjoy on whilst I'm doing it 🙂.
… That's if I remember 😅.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare

@actuallyadhd @autistics

My getting up has slipped into the afternoons & I'm not happy about it.
Especially as in a few days I'll have to be up before 07:00 to be able to spend the day on an outing with friends. 🫣

Stricter morning routine?
- Alarm goes, switch on radio or preselected podcast instead of noticing the Mastodon notifications so I don't vanish down a 40+ notification hole?
🤔 … 🤔 In theory very easy to do, in practice very difficult to stick to, as my AuDHD screams for comfort from not being ready to face the day.

- Swap chores around with things I enjoy, want to get stuck into?
My big worry is that once I start the thing I want to do I will ignore all cues for stopping & doing the 'must do' tasks.

One possible fix for ignoring cues, is have lunch be the cut off point as I, like a lot of critters can be greatly motivated by food.
Current problem, lunch is around 18:00 give or take an hour & as I'm painfully aware of it being evening my brain & body default to evening mode, time to read or ideally, relax so those 'must do' tasks have pretty much a zero chance of happening.

I guess, I might be spending some time working this one out this afternoon / evening. I don't mind spending my evenings messing with dilemmas like this, as long as I can shove a movie I enjoy on whilst I'm doing it 🙂.
… That's if I remember 😅.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare

@actuallyadhd @autistics

My getting up has slipped into the afternoons & I'm not happy about it.
Especially as in a few days I'll have to be up before 07:00 to be able to spend the day on an outing with friends. 🫣

Stricter morning routine?
- Alarm goes, switch on radio or preselected podcast instead of noticing the Mastodon notifications so I don't vanish down a 40+ notification hole?
🤔 … 🤔 In theory very easy to do, in practice very difficult to stick to, as my AuDHD screams for comfort from not being ready to face the day.

- Swap chores around with things I enjoy, want to get stuck into?
My big worry is that once I start the thing I want to do I will ignore all cues for stopping & doing the 'must do' tasks.

One possible fix for ignoring cues, is have lunch be the cut off point as I, like a lot of critters can be greatly motivated by food.
Current problem, lunch is around 18:00 give or take an hour & as I'm painfully aware of it being evening my brain & body default to evening mode, time to read or ideally, relax so those 'must do' tasks have pretty much a zero chance of happening.

I guess, I might be spending some time working this one out this afternoon / evening. I don't mind spending my evenings messing with dilemmas like this, as long as I can shove a movie I enjoy on whilst I'm doing it 🙂.
… That's if I remember 😅.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare

@actuallyadhd @autistics

My getting up has slipped into the afternoons & I'm not happy about it.
Especially as in a few days I'll have to be up before 07:00 to be able to spend the day on an outing with friends. 🫣

Stricter morning routine?
- Alarm goes, switch on radio or preselected podcast instead of noticing the Mastodon notifications so I don't vanish down a 40+ notification hole?
🤔 … 🤔 In theory very easy to do, in practice very difficult to stick to, as my AuDHD screams for comfort from not being ready to face the day.

- Swap chores around with things I enjoy, want to get stuck into?
My big worry is that once I start the thing I want to do I will ignore all cues for stopping & doing the 'must do' tasks.

One possible fix for ignoring cues, is have lunch be the cut off point as I, like a lot of critters can be greatly motivated by food.
Current problem, lunch is around 18:00 give or take an hour & as I'm painfully aware of it being evening my brain & body default to evening mode, time to read or ideally, relax so those 'must do' tasks have pretty much a zero chance of happening.

I guess, I might be spending some time working this one out this afternoon / evening. I don't mind spending my evenings messing with dilemmas like this, as long as I can shove a movie I enjoy on whilst I'm doing it 🙂.
… That's if I remember 😅.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare

@actuallyadhd @autistics

My getting up has slipped into the afternoons & I'm not happy about it.
Especially as in a few days I'll have to be up before 07:00 to be able to spend the day on an outing with friends. 🫣

Stricter morning routine?
- Alarm goes, switch on radio or preselected podcast instead of noticing the Mastodon notifications so I don't vanish down a 40+ notification hole?
🤔 … 🤔 In theory very easy to do, in practice very difficult to stick to, as my AuDHD screams for comfort from not being ready to face the day.

- Swap chores around with things I enjoy, want to get stuck into?
My big worry is that once I start the thing I want to do I will ignore all cues for stopping & doing the 'must do' tasks.

One possible fix for ignoring cues, is have lunch be the cut off point as I, like a lot of critters can be greatly motivated by food.
Current problem, lunch is around 18:00 give or take an hour & as I'm painfully aware of it being evening my brain & body default to evening mode, time to read or ideally, relax so those 'must do' tasks have pretty much a zero chance of happening.

I guess, I might be spending some time working this one out this afternoon / evening. I don't mind spending my evenings messing with dilemmas like this, as long as I can shove a movie I enjoy on whilst I'm doing it 🙂.
… That's if I remember 😅.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic
#Hyperfocus #TimeBlindness #ExecutiveDysfunction
#MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare

@actuallyadhd @autistics

I really wish my Mam wasn't such a technophobe. Doubly annoying that she lives so far away & triply so that she doesn't ask one of her more tech savvy friend's to help her get to grips with her phone.

The flip side is that she's the only person who phones me so I have no way to verify if all the phone call woes are her accidentally triggering things by touching buttons or things on screen (I can imagine her holding the phone slightly away from her ear so the in-call screen is displayed) & putting herself on mute or me on hold.

Is it her or has my phone, network or the Lineage OS developed problems?

After today's particularly Mute & Hold heavy call, or calls - I'd have to hang up & phone her again & again to get back to having a conversation instead of hearing nothing or being on hold - I hope she will take my strong suggestion of asking one, or some of her friends to help her.

I was hoping she would be coming over for xmas or new year's, giving me a chance to check her phone, maybe minimize google spying & if I can figure out how to be patient enough show her how to use her phone whilst knowing she won't remember or will struggle to remember.
I'd also have to hope I can still fathom how phones running android OS work as it's been several years.

I don't have the spoons to go visit her & with the festively terrible (non-existant) public transport between hers & the nearest hotel ensuring my spoon tank is permanently empty for the duration so it's probably not a good idea.
Last year I left her's on xmas day just before we were going to have dinner. Walking back to the hotel in tears & having snacks instead of a good meal. I do not recommend as it's probably my worst xmas & would not like a repeat. 😔😢😞.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #SelfCare #Technophobia #TechEducation #TechFails #EpicTechFails #Enshittification

@actuallyadhd @autistics

Really need to get to bed before midnight tonight, or I turn into a gremlin or something 🤷.

I need to start reclaiming my mornings as it would be nice to get to about lunch time & actually have accomplished some thing. Just simple things maybe but things like a bit of house cleaning, going for a walk, some reading & maybe a little bit of writing & drawing.

Maybe it could boost my confidence & make it possible to volunteer somewhere, even if the local volunteering options are only charity shop work.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare #Depression #Life #Sleep #SleepProblems

@actuallyadhd @autistics

Really need to get to bed before midnight tonight, or I turn into a gremlin or something 🤷.

I need to start reclaiming my mornings as it would be nice to get to about lunch time & actually have accomplished some thing. Just simple things maybe but things like a bit of house cleaning, going for a walk, some reading & maybe a little bit of writing & drawing.

Maybe it could boost my confidence & make it possible to volunteer somewhere, even if the local volunteering options are only charity shop work.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare #Depression #Life #Sleep #SleepProblems

@actuallyadhd @autistics

Really need to get to bed before midnight tonight, or I turn into a gremlin or something 🤷.

I need to start reclaiming my mornings as it would be nice to get to about lunch time & actually have accomplished some thing. Just simple things maybe but things like a bit of house cleaning, going for a walk, some reading & maybe a little bit of writing & drawing.

Maybe it could boost my confidence & make it possible to volunteer somewhere, even if the local volunteering options are only charity shop work.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare #Depression #Life #Sleep #SleepProblems

@actuallyadhd @autistics

Really need to get to bed before midnight tonight, or I turn into a gremlin or something 🤷.

I need to start reclaiming my mornings as it would be nice to get to about lunch time & actually have accomplished some thing. Just simple things maybe but things like a bit of house cleaning, going for a walk, some reading & maybe a little bit of writing & drawing.

Maybe it could boost my confidence & make it possible to volunteer somewhere, even if the local volunteering options are only charity shop work.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare #Depression #Life #Sleep #SleepProblems

@actuallyadhd @autistics

Really need to get to bed before midnight tonight, or I turn into a gremlin or something 🤷.

I need to start reclaiming my mornings as it would be nice to get to about lunch time & actually have accomplished some thing. Just simple things maybe but things like a bit of house cleaning, going for a walk, some reading & maybe a little bit of writing & drawing.

Maybe it could boost my confidence & make it possible to volunteer somewhere, even if the local volunteering options are only charity shop work.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #MindFog #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #LackOfFocus #SelfCare #Depression #Life #Sleep #SleepProblems

My mom wanted us to get groceries earlier today for her. I was already worried about it because I wasn’t very awake yet. I began getting more and more anxious while driving because I obviously didn’t want to get into an accident. When we actually got to the store I stayed in the car and tried to not have a panic attack. By the time Wren got back out with the food I was somewhat more awake so driving home was a little easier. My stepdad pulled me aside later and was asking if I’m okay & how I should let them help me. He was saying that the attacks are going to get worse as I get older if I don’t get help for them. I really do want therapy again but I’ve been putting it off for various reasons. I miss my therapist that I had for several years. I hope that she’s doing okay. I was supposed to get an autism assessment done where she works but by the time I was called about an appointment I had just moved to a new state. Part of me doesn’t want the assessment now because people will always treat someone who’s diagnosed with autism poorly. Not to mention that Trump is not helping with the ableism with the dumb things he’s said lately about being on the spectrum.

@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic

Today's plans got chucked in the bin last night.
First I messed up, then my guts kept me awake for 1½ hours. Still had a few things planned but I'll try & see if today can be used to begin weaning me off plans.
If in can wean myself off plans, maybe I can begin to learn to be a bit more spontaneous, or so goes the theory.

First, try wrapping my head around the 'be kind / gentle with yourself' mantra as I always fall into the trap of, '-but this needs doing, or I can quickly do this, & that & probably this thing!
Next thing I know, it's taken me 6 - 8 hours not including food breaks to get these three, quick & simple tasks done & I'm as relaxed as mouse in a trap, being stalked by a cat.

Here's hoping I can put a crack in that self-destructive cycle.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons
#Depression #Sleep #SleepProblems

@actuallyadhd @actuallyautistic

Waking up & wondering why my bedside lamp is on & why my phone isn't next to it?
Especially as I remember putting phone next to it & switching the lamp off.
Hello, life stresses. What's happening now?

Also, why does my body default to 6 hours sleep? When it clearly needs more? And yet it won't let me install the Nap Time plugin I so desperately need.

Result: permanent dice / spoon deficit

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Sleep #Insomnia #SleepProblems #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons

Feeling wierdly inspired to make a schedule or roster. Problem is I know I'm either, A) going to try it & fail within minutes, hours, days or at some point in the second week or, B) will find myself unable to try it because I've forgotten there's things I need to do that don't fit or because I just don't have the dice/spoons/battery.

It is of course typical that I'm settling down to have supper & watch a film before making an attempt to get to bed before 00:30 instead of after 02:30 when.this urge has to strike. I would like to be able to enjoy my mornings without sleeping or dozing through them.
Fingers 🤞 the movie & my supper distract me enough to leave it till a more sensible time.

#AuDHD #Autistic #ADHD #ActuallyADHD #ActuallyAutistic #Hyperfocus #Burnout #Spoons #NoSpoons #Focus #Life #Sleep #SleepProblems

Okay, it seems I used up all my #spoons yesterday and making #breakfast is just too much for me now. So, #cornflakes and #instantCoffee it is... 😔

Shit. I need a spon to eat cornflakes. 🤪

#spoontheory #noSpoons #depression

Okay, it seems I used up all my #spoons yesterday and making #breakfast is just too much for me now. So, #cornflakes and #instantCoffee it is... 😔

Shit. I need a spon to eat cornflakes. 🤪

#spoontheory #noSpoons #depression

Okay, it seems I used up all my #spoons yesterday and making #breakfast is just too much for me now. So, #cornflakes and #instantCoffee it is... 😔

Shit. I need a spon to eat cornflakes. 🤪

#spoontheory #noSpoons #depression

Okay, it seems I used up all my #spoons yesterday and making #breakfast is just too much for me now. So, #cornflakes and #instantCoffee it is... 😔

Shit. I need a spon to eat cornflakes. 🤪

#spoontheory #noSpoons #depression

I haven't seen so many #NoSpoons posts recently hope you're all doing well. Yesterday I felt like someone had stolen all my #spoons but I seem to have got half back in the night. #TakeItEasy

Forever tired #sketch #art #mastoart #solidarity #undefeated #exhaustion #nospoons #lowbattery