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#ramblings — Public Fediverse posts

Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #ramblings, aggregated by home.social.

  1. Well. A stranger on the internet calling my situation with my dad “white people problems” brought on a new type of pain for me. Do I have to say ABUSE for you to understand? Or is it only abuse if he hits me or worse? Are you one of those who make fun of emotional abuse normally? I checked his profile, man’s in his 40’s bullying someone 12 years younger than him while also posting hypocritical things. Wow. I really hate us humans sometimes.


    #Ramblings #Sonder-complains #vent #tw-abuse
  2. CW: Unhealthy relationship with my father

    So of course my dad wants me to come visit for four days for Father’s Day. He wanted me to tell him by this week and he’s called me twice today. I just can’t deal with him right now. I feel kind of sick and scared when I think about going back. I want to but not to see him. I hate that I’m 30 and he still controls me with guilt and money basically. I do things he wants just so he’ll stop pushing it. I hate all of it.


    #Ramblings #vent #venting #parents #family #trauma #anxious #parent
  3. Okay, I feel a lot better after eating and getting more rest. Still not feeling 💯 though. I really don’t want to have whatever virus my parents got. They cough a lot and my mom lost her voice. I live in the same house and it’s small so it’s hard to avoid their germs.


    #Ramblings #out-of-spoons #🥄 #spoonie #sick #illness
  4. Okay, I feel a lot better after eating and getting more rest. Still not feeling 💯 though. I really don’t want to have whatever virus my parents got. They cough a lot and my mom lost her voice. I live in the same house and it’s small so it’s hard to avoid their germs.


    #Ramblings #out-of-spoons #🥄 #spoonie #sick #illness
  5. Okay, I feel a lot better after eating and getting more rest. Still not feeling 💯 though. I really don’t want to have whatever virus my parents got. They cough a lot and my mom lost her voice. I live in the same house and it’s small so it’s hard to avoid their germs.


    #Ramblings #out-of-spoons #🥄 #spoonie #sick #illness
  6. CW: Suicide, mental illness

    “Mother’s Day”

    Today my dad will call my mom
    And thank her for my existence
    I do not thank her for it
    But I can’t say that aloud
    I am not suicidal!
    But I am always terrified or unhappy
    Maybe not always
    How often do you feel hopeless, like you would be better off dead?
    Most days, some days, or not at all?
    I roll the question around in my brain
    Some days.
    I don’t want to die.
    Actually I’m terrified of death
    I want to live so badly
    I want to experience everything
    Fear and chronic symptoms
    That’s what holds me back
    Today my dad will call my mom
    To thank her for my existence
    Today I will take several pills
    They keep me here
    But they don’t fix me.


    #Ramblings #poem #spoonie #disabled #anxiety-disorder #depression #chronic-pain
  7. CW: Suicide, mental illness

    “Mother’s Day”

    Today my dad will call my mom
    And thank her for my existence
    I do not thank her for it
    But I can’t say that aloud
    I am not suicidal!
    But I am always terrified or unhappy
    Maybe not always
    How often do you feel hopeless, like you would be better off dead?
    Most days, some days, or not at all?
    I roll the question around in my brain
    Some days.
    I don’t want to die.
    Actually I’m terrified of death
    I want to live so badly
    I want to experience everything
    Fear and chronic symptoms
    That’s what holds me back
    Today my dad will call my mom
    To thank her for my existence
    Today I will take several pills
    They keep me here
    But they don’t fix me.


    #Ramblings #poem #spoonie #disabled #anxiety-disorder #depression #chronic-pain
  8. CW: Suicide, mental illness

    “Mother’s Day”

    Today my dad will call my mom
    And thank her for my existence
    I do not thank her for it
    But I can’t say that aloud
    I am not suicidal!
    But I am always terrified or unhappy
    Maybe not always
    How often do you feel hopeless, like you would be better off dead?
    Most days, some days, or not at all?
    I roll the question around in my brain
    Some days.
    I don’t want to die.
    Actually I’m terrified of death
    I want to live so badly
    I want to experience everything
    Fear and chronic symptoms
    That’s what holds me back
    Today my dad will call my mom
    To thank her for my existence
    Today I will take several pills
    They keep me here
    But they don’t fix me.


    #Ramblings #poem #spoonie #disabled #anxiety-disorder #depression #chronic-pain
  9. So I’ve got this interesting situation with my tv. I don’t live in an apartment complex. My neighbors’ houses are the typical distance from my own in the cul-de-sac. Still, I think that one of my closet neighbors must be accessing my tv. Three times now audio has played from it while the tv is off. It sounds like a kid’s show usually. When we turn the tv on it immediately goes away and we get full access as usual. My parents are going to casually ask our neighbors if they have Roku ones too.


    #Ramblings #technology-being-technology #Roku #Roku-tv #Roku-4K #television #Bluetooth #device-security
  10. I promise that I am not a bot. I do however follow a bot that reposts photography content almost instantly. If I interact with a lot of your work please know that a real person does like it. :BlobCat_Camera:🩵


    #Ramblings #fediverse #fediphotography #wafrn #interests
  11. CW: Online harassment, threats, SA

    I wish that online harassment was taken more seriously! I’ve been told to harm/kill myself & had threats of violence/SA against me both as a minor and an adult. I know that none of them ever were punished aside from maybe getting a temporary ban at the very least. Makes me sick.


    #Ramblings #growing-up-online #vent #venting #bullying #violent-threats
  12. I was feeling some of the lowest lows of my life last night/today. Then I saw a news article about an exoplanet that’s shaped like a lemon. The universe is so unserious sometimes. Maybe there’s things worth sticking around for after all.


    #Ramblings #planets #exoplanet #news #science #weird-science #hope #hopecore
  13. 🖥️ Wow, what a #groundbreaking idea: feeding 24 years of #digital #ramblings to a #Markov model! 🤖 Just what we needed—a bot that regurgitates decades of 💤profound💤 musings. Can't wait for the next installment: "I trained a #neural #network on my #grocery #receipts." 🛒
    susam.net/fed-24-years-of-post #idea #model #HackerNews #ngated

  14. CW: Emotional abuse from mother

    She’s been my best friend growing up and a bully too. She only loves my girlfriend now because she does chores around the house religiously. She used to say cruel things about Wren like I wasn’t listening. Now she’s like “I’m gonna adopt Wren, you can go somewhere else,” all because of what Wren can do for her. Then she said to Wren “I bet that made her feel great,” so she knows that she’s being an asshole. My mom knows that I’m a sensitive person (it sucks & it’s embarrassing,) and she still says mean things to me. I guess her logic is “if I hurt her emotionally then she’ll change & not do this thing I don’t like,” which is pretty fucked up in my opinion.


    #Ramblings #vent #parents #family #mom #abuse #emotional-abuse
  15. CW: Drinking mention

    I miss trick or treating. 🫩😩 Growing up really does suck, huh? I’ll always love Halloween a lot but that huge aspect of it ended for me a while ago. I’ve never been to a Halloween party that wasn’t put on for kids at school. Idk if I’d be comfy with adult parties anyway since people seem so determined to get wasted.


    #Ramblings #Sonder-complains #Halloween #childhood #nostalgia #growing-up #trick-or-treat
  16. My mom wanted us to get groceries earlier today for her. I was already worried about it because I wasn’t very awake yet. I began getting more and more anxious while driving because I obviously didn’t want to get into an accident. When we actually got to the store I stayed in the car and tried to not have a panic attack. By the time Wren got back out with the food I was somewhat more awake so driving home was a little easier. My stepdad pulled me aside later and was asking if I’m okay & how I should let them help me. He was saying that the attacks are going to get worse as I get older if I don’t get help for them. I really do want therapy again but I’ve been putting it off for various reasons. I miss my therapist that I had for several years. I hope that she’s doing okay. I was supposed to get an autism assessment done where she works but by the time I was called about an appointment I had just moved to a new state. Part of me doesn’t want the assessment now because people will always treat someone who’s diagnosed with autism poorly. Not to mention that Trump is not helping with the ableism with the dumb things he’s said lately about being on the spectrum.


    #Ramblings #Sonder-complains #anxiety-disorder #panic-attacks #autistic #ableism #neurodivergent #no-spoons
  17. The review of an #esoteric tome on #continuations blunders on like an over-caffeinated grad student's fever dream 💤💻. The author can't decide if it's groundbreaking or a $100 paperweight 📚❓. Spoiler: it has no exercises - because who needs practice when you've got #theoretical #ramblings, right? 🤷‍♂️
    swatson555.github.io/posts/202 #literature #HackerNews #gradstudent #HackerNews #ngated

  18. The review of an #esoteric tome on #continuations blunders on like an over-caffeinated grad student's fever dream 💤💻. The author can't decide if it's groundbreaking or a $100 paperweight 📚❓. Spoiler: it has no exercises - because who needs practice when you've got #theoretical #ramblings, right? 🤷‍♂️
    swatson555.github.io/posts/202 #literature #HackerNews #gradstudent #HackerNews #ngated

  19. The review of an #esoteric tome on #continuations blunders on like an over-caffeinated grad student's fever dream 💤💻. The author can't decide if it's groundbreaking or a $100 paperweight 📚❓. Spoiler: it has no exercises - because who needs practice when you've got #theoretical #ramblings, right? 🤷‍♂️
    swatson555.github.io/posts/202 #literature #HackerNews #gradstudent #HackerNews #ngated

  20. The review of an #esoteric tome on #continuations blunders on like an over-caffeinated grad student's fever dream 💤💻. The author can't decide if it's groundbreaking or a $100 paperweight 📚❓. Spoiler: it has no exercises - because who needs practice when you've got #theoretical #ramblings, right? 🤷‍♂️
    swatson555.github.io/posts/202 #literature #HackerNews #gradstudent #HackerNews #ngated

  21. Beach day was a bust but at least my friend enjoyed himself for a bit. Not only was today very hot but I didn’t have a bathing suit and Wren was miserable. I bought an overpriced umbrella but it refused to stay put in the sand. Hopefully I didn’t miss places while applying sunscreen. It was also very busy today.


    #Ramblings #beach #beach-day #hot #NC #North-Carolina-WAFRN-posting
  22. Red Wolf, I’m a fan of your silly big ears. I’ve been tracking one via Fahlo recently. She’s evidently had 14 pups, that’s wild!
    These guys are a critically endangered species that is native to North Carolina, which is where I live now. They used to be everywhere from New York to Texas but hunting was so bad that they were declared extinct in 1980. They’re the only wolf exclusive to the United States. Thanks to humans’ help they’ve been growing in population again! As of last year there were 293 Red Wolves in human care across the States and 17 in the wild in North Carolina. They’re very good boys and girls. I’d love to go see them someday. 🐺


    #Ramblings #drawing #fahlo #art #wolf #red-wolf #North-Carolina #canine #sketch #wolf-drawing #endangered-species #animal-conservation
  23. Red Wolf, I’m a fan of your silly big ears. I’ve been tracking one via Fahlo recently. She’s evidently had 14 pups, that’s wild!
    These guys are a critically endangered species that is native to North Carolina, which is where I live now. They used to be everywhere from New York to Texas but hunting was so bad that they were declared extinct in 1980. They’re the only wolf exclusive to the United States. Thanks to humans’ help they’ve been growing in population again! As of last year there were 293 Red Wolves in human care across the States and 17 in the wild in North Carolina. They’re very good boys and girls. I’d love to go see them someday. 🐺


    #Ramblings #drawing #fahlo #art #wolf #red-wolf #North-Carolina #canine #sketch #wolf-drawing #endangered-species #animal-conservation
  24. Red Wolf, I’m a fan of your silly big ears. I’ve been tracking one via Fahlo recently. She’s evidently had 14 pups, that’s wild!
    These guys are a critically endangered species that is native to North Carolina, which is where I live now. They used to be everywhere from New York to Texas but hunting was so bad that they were declared extinct in 1980. They’re the only wolf exclusive to the United States. Thanks to humans’ help they’ve been growing in population again! As of last year there were 293 Red Wolves in human care across the States and 17 in the wild in North Carolina. They’re very good boys and girls. I’d love to go see them someday. 🐺


    #Ramblings #drawing #fahlo #art #wolf #red-wolf #North-Carolina #canine #sketch #wolf-drawing #endangered-species #animal-conservation
  25. Red Wolf, I’m a fan of your silly big ears. I’ve been tracking one via Fahlo recently. She’s evidently had 14 pups, that’s wild!
    These guys are a critically endangered species that is native to North Carolina, which is where I live now. They used to be everywhere from New York to Texas but hunting was so bad that they were declared extinct in 1980. They’re the only wolf exclusive to the United States. Thanks to humans’ help they’ve been growing in population again! As of last year there were 293 Red Wolves in human care across the States and 17 in the wild in North Carolina. They’re very good boys and girls. I’d love to go see them someday. 🐺


    #Ramblings #drawing #fahlo #art #wolf #red-wolf #North-Carolina #canine #sketch #wolf-drawing #endangered-species #animal-conservation
  26. Red Wolf, I’m a fan of your silly big ears. I’ve been tracking one via Fahlo recently. She’s evidently had 14 pups, that’s wild!
    These guys are a critically endangered species that is native to North Carolina, which is where I live now. They used to be everywhere from New York to Texas but hunting was so bad that they were declared extinct in 1980. They’re the only wolf exclusive to the United States. Thanks to humans’ help they’ve been growing in population again! As of last year there were 293 Red Wolves in human care across the States and 17 in the wild in North Carolina. They’re very good boys and girls. I’d love to go see them someday. 🐺


    #Ramblings #drawing #fahlo #art #wolf #red-wolf #North-Carolina #canine #sketch #wolf-drawing #endangered-species #animal-conservation
  27. I use these the most: 🥺🫠💀👀🐺🪽🍉🌸🫧🩵🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇸
    I wish that there were more pride flag emojis. It took them a long time just to make 🏳️‍⚧️


    #Ramblings #world-emoji-day #emoji-day #emoji #emojis
  28. I know it’s hard because it’s a learned behavior (and I’m far from perfect myself,) but people need to stop saying ‘women and nonbinary people’ when what they mean is women and other assigned female folks. Assigned male enby people exist and that kind of language doesn’t help them.


    #Ramblings #gender #genders #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqia #nonbinary #gendered-language #NB #enbies #enby #gender-talk #queer