#miss-manners — Public Fediverse posts

A quotation from Judith Martin

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
(Attributed)

More about this quote: wist.info/martin-judith/32074/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

   Do you have a kinder, more adaptable friend in the food world than soup? Who soothes you when you are ill? Who refuses to leave you when you are impoverished and stretches its resources to give a hearty sustenance and cheer? Who warms you in the winter and cools you in the summer? Yet who also is capable of doing honor to your richest table and impressing your most demanding guests? […]
   Soup does its loyal best, no matter what undignified conditions are imposed upon it. But soup knows the difference. Soup is sensitive. You don’t catch steak hanging around when you’re poor and sick, do you? Soup deserves to be treated well.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Miss Manners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior, Part 3 “Basic Civilization,” “Table Manners” (1983)

More about this quote: wist.info/martin-judith/81053/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

We are all entitled to our little harmless habits, Miss Manners believes, but we are not entitled to demand approval for them.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (2010-05-07)

More about this quote: wist.info/martin-judith/80783/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

Allowing an unimportant mistake to pass without a comment is a wonderful social grace […] Children who have the habit of constantly correcting should be stopped before they grow up to drive spouses and everyone else crazy by interrupting stories to say, “No, dear — it was Tuesday, not Wednesday.”

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
(Attributed)

More about this quote: wist.info/martin-judith/2699/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

Q: Should you tell your mother something if it is important when she is talking to company? I am 6.
 
A: Yes, you should (after saying “Excuse me”). Here are some of the things that are important to tell your mother, even though she is talking to company:
   “Mommy, the kitchen is full of smoke.”
   “Daddy’s calling from Tokyo.”
   “Jennifer fell out of her crib and I can’t put her back.”
   “There’s a policeman at the door and he says he wants to talk to you.”
   “I was just reaching for my ball, and the goldfish bowl fell over.”
 
Now, here are some things that are not important, so they can wait until your mother’s company has gone home:
   “Mommy, I’m tired of playing blocks. What shall I do now?”
   “The ice-cream truck is coming down the street.”
   “Can I give Jennifer the rest of my applesauce?”
   “I can’t find my crayons.”

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1981-03-08)

More about this quote: wist.info/martin-judith/80499/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

   Contrary to rumor, bridesmaids are not obliged to entertain in honor of the bride, nor to wear clothes that they cannot afford and that make them look stupid.
   And no, the bride does not have a “right” to demand either one because it is “her day.” Any sensible person who hears someone speaking in an imperious tone of “her day” would be wise to consider that it therefore isn’t going to be anyone else’s day, and to leave her to enjoy it alone.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1993-03-07)

More about this quote: wist.info/martin-judith/80439/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

The only wedding custom with a pretense to long tradition and universality, that of public checking up on the consummation of the marriage, seems to have been dropped. Miss Manners can’t think why.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1981-04-11)

More info about this quote: wist.info/martin-judith/80241/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

Eating grapes with a knife and fork is not what one would call refined. It is what one would call ludicrous.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1993-03-07)

More about this quote: wist.info/martin-judith/80237/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

   You, sir, are an anarchist, and Miss Manners is frightened to have anything to do with you.
   It is true that questioning the table manners of others is rude. But to overthrow the accepted conventions of society, on the flimsy grounds that you have found them silly, inefficient and discomforting, is a dangerous step toward destroying civilization.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1981-04-11)

More info about this quote: wist.info/martin-judith/80133/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

   DEAR MISS MANNERS: When does a gentleman offer his arm to a lady as they are walking down the street together?
 
   GENTLE READER: Strictly speaking, only when he can be practical assistance to her. That is, when the way is steep, dark, crowded, or puddle-y. However, it is rather a cozy juxtaposition, less compromising than walking hand in hand, and rather enjoyable for people who are fond of each other, so Miss Manners allows some leeway in interpreting what is of practical assistance. One wouldn’t want a lady to feel unloved walking down the street, any more than one would want her to fall off the curb.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1979-04-19)

More info about this quote: wist.info/martin-judith/80011/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

Part of the skill of saying no is to shut up afterward and not babble on, offering material for an argument.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (2014-11-04)

More info about this quote: wist.info/martin-judith/79832/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

It is, indeed, a trial to maintain the virtue of humility when one can’t help being right.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1999-02-02)

More info about this quote: wist.info/martin-judith/79642/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

People are always saying to me, “Don’t you want to go back in time?” To where? Prefeminism? Not very much, no.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Interview (1997-03), “She Says: Miss Manners,” by Sandy Fernández, Ms magazine, Vol. 7, No. 5 (1997-03/04)

More info about this quote: wist.info/martin-judith/79505/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

Etiquette never works with people of ill will.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Interview (1997-03), “She Says: Miss Manners,” by Sandy Fernández, Ms magazine, Vol. 7, No. 5 (1997-03/04)

More info about this quote: wist.info/martin-judith/79370/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

Another very common misconception about politeness is that it is martyrdom; that you have to let everybody else do whatever they want. People say to me, “Doesn’t etiquette all boil down to making other people feel comfortable?” No. there are times when you are going to have to upset people. There are times when you have to upset the whole society.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Interview (1997-03), “She Says: Miss Manners,” by Sandy Fernández, Ms magazine, Vol. 7, No. 5 (1997-03/04)

More info about this quote: wist.info/martin-judith/79190/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

A lot of men got upset at the feminist movement because they had all the toys and we wanted some.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Interview (1997-03), “She Says: Miss Manners,” by Sandy Fernández, Ms magazine, Vol. 7, No. 5 (1997-03/04)

More info about this quote: wist.info/martin-judith/78973/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

Q. Is it ever acceptable to be rude?
 
A. No. Now, that doesn’t mean you have to let people walk all over you. Etiquette does not render you defenseless. If it did; even I wouldn’t subscribe to it. But rudeness in retaliation for rudeness just doubles the amount of rudeness in the world.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Interview (2011-08), “Q and A with Miss Manners,” by Arcynta Ali Childs, Smithsonian magazine

More info about this quote: wist.info/martin-judith/78705/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

Q. What is etiquette? And why is it so important?
 
A. It’s important because we can’t stand the way that other people treat us. Although we want the right to be able to behave in any way we want. Somehow a compromise is in order, if you want to live in communities. If you live on a mountaintop by yourself, it’s not necessary.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Interview (2011-08), “Q and A with Miss Manners,” by Arcynta Ali Childs, Smithsonian magazine

Sourcing, notes: wist.info/martin-judith/78578/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

“Honesty” in social life is often used as a cover for rudeness. But there is quite a difference between being candid in what you’re talking about, and people voicing their insulting opinions under the name of honesty.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Interview (2011-08), “Q and A with Miss Manners,” by Arcynta Ali Childs, Smithsonian magazine

Sourcing, notes: wist.info/martin-judith/78439/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

People will say, “Seventy isn’t old, it’s middle-aged,” and I think, middle of what — 140?

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Essay (1996-03/04), Modern Maturity magazine

Sourcing, notes: wist.info/martin-judith/78297/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

I always presume, because it helps me get up in the morning, that most people are people of goodwill and would like to restrain themselves from offending people if they knew what was offensive.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Interview (1995-03-06) by Virginia Shea, “Miss Mannners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Internet Behavior,” Computerworld, Vol. 29, No. 10

Sourcing, notes: wist.info/martin-judith/78176/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

There are plenty of people who say, “We don’t care about etiquette, but we can’t stand the way so-and-so behaves, and we don’t want him around!” Etiquette doesn’t have the great sanctions that the law has. But the main sanction we do have is in not dealing with these people and isolating them because their behavior is unbearable.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Interview (1995-03-06) by Virginia Shea, “Miss Mannners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Internet Behavior,” Computerworld, Vol. 29, No. 10

Sourcing, notes: wist.info/martin-judith/78045/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

You can deny all you want that there is etiquette, and a lot of people do in everyday life. But if you behave in a way that offends the people you’re trying to deal with, they will stop dealing with you.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Interview (1995-03-06) by Virginia Shea, “Miss Mannners’ Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Internet Behavior,” Computerworld, Vol. 29, No. 10

Sourcing, notes: wist.info/martin-judith/77832/

#quote #quotes #quotation #qotd #judithmartin #missmanners #etiquette #offending #offensiveness #ostracism #politeness #rudeness #socializing #shunning

A quotation from Judith Martin

What we have come to, through a combination of popular psychology and expanding technology, is a presumption that all our thoughts and feelings are worth uttering.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (2009-11-19)

Sourcing, notes: wist.info/martin-judith/77658/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

Honesty is a virtue, but not the only one. If you’re in a courtroom, you need the whole truth and nothing but the truth; in the living room, sometimes you need anything but. Often.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Essay (1996-03/04), Modern Maturity magazine

Sourcing, notes: wist.info/martin-judith/77499/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

The etiquette of intimacy is very different from the etiquette of formality, but manners are not just something to show off to the outside world. If you offend the head waiter, you can always go to another restaurant. If you offend the person you live with, it’s very cumbersome to switch to a different family.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Essay (1996-03/04), Modern Maturity magazine

Sourcing, notes: wist.info/martin-judith/76957/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

Being listened to should be sufficiently gratifying in itself, whether or not the advice is followed.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (2014-05-11)

Sourcing, notes: wist.info/martin-judith/76874/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

The invention of the teenager was a mistake, in Miss Manners’ opinion. […] Once you identify a period of life in which people have few restrictions and, at the same time, few responsibilities — they get to stay out late but don’t have to pay taxes — naturally nobody wants to live any other way.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
Miss Manners’ Guide for the the Turn-of-the-Millennium, Part 2 “Home Life,” “Parents and Children” (1989)

Sourcing, notes: wist.info/martin-judith/2702/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

Since the invention of the mirror, everyone knows what he or she looks like and does not find it helpful or enjoyable to have oddities or deficiencies — according to someone else’s standards and tastes — pointed out. And every adult assumes the right of making his or her own decisions about eating, drinking, mating and reproducing, and finds being monitored and instructed — again according to someone else’s preferences — distasteful.

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1986-01-19)

Sourcing, notes: wist.info/martin-judith/76655/

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A quotation from Judith Martin

All this variety is certainly interesting. If there were a standard and everyone met it, how on earth could people tell their ex-spouses from their new ones? If children did not show visible changes, what would encourage their parents to believe that they might ever pass out of the horrible stages they happen to be in?

Judith Martin (b. 1938) American author, journalist, etiquette expert [a.k.a. Miss Manners]
“Miss Manners,” syndicated column (1986-01-19)

Sourcing, notes: wist.info/martin-judith/76596/

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