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#turd — Public Fediverse posts

Live and recent posts from across the Fediverse tagged #turd, aggregated by home.social.

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  1. Ode to the Dung Beetle
    by Kevin Ahern

    Dung beetle, dung beetle very wee
    You make a big impression on me
    Cuz when you die, it is absurd
    You’ve got two ways to get interred

    #funny #comedy #laugh #silly #humor #humour #verse #poetry #poem #dungbeetle #interred #turd

  2. Pooppenheimer looked down upon the heap he had left in the toilet, and uttered these immortal words, "I am become turd, clogger of toilets."

    #Oppenheimer #shit #turd

  3. Pooppenheimer looked down upon the heap he had left in the toilet, and uttered these immortal words, "I am become turd, clogger of toilets."

    #Oppenheimer #shit #turd

  4. Pooppenheimer looked down upon the heap he had left in the toilet, and uttered these immortal words, "I am become turd, clogger of toilets."

    #Oppenheimer #shit #turd

  5. Pooppenheimer looked down upon the heap he had left in the toilet, and uttered these immortal words, "I am become turd, clogger of toilets."

    #Oppenheimer #shit #turd

  6. poopsicle, a frozen turd

    Example of usage:

    "Can't you smell it? It is Spring, and all the poopsicles left behind by the dogs are perfuming the air."

    #poopsicle #poop #turd #Spring

  7. poopsicle, a frozen turd

    Example of usage:

    "Can't you smell it? It is Spring, and all the poopsicles left behind by the dogs are perfuming the air."

    #poopsicle #poop #turd #Spring

  8. poopsicle, a frozen turd

    Example of usage:

    "Can't you smell it? It is Spring, and all the poopsicles left behind by the dogs are perfuming the air."

    #poopsicle #poop #turd #Spring

  9. poopsicle, a frozen turd

    Example of usage:

    "Can't you smell it? It is Spring, and all the poopsicles left behind by the dogs are perfuming the air."

    #poopsicle #poop #turd #Spring

  10. A surprise in every box.

    “Is this the Department of Formal Complaints?”

    “No, this is the Department of Informal Complaints.”

    “Oh, but the sign on the door says…”

    “I was joking. This, indeed, is the Department of Formal Complaints. There is no such thing as a Department of Informal Complaints. That would be bonkers.”

    “Ah. Well, I’d like to submit a formal complaint. Hmm… no, I wouldn’t *like* to submit it. ‘Like’ is the wrong word. I would be displeased to submit… That does not sound quite right either.”

    “You want to submit a formal complaint, right?”

    “That’s it.”

    “What is it about?”

    “Your boxes of cereal claim that there is a surprise in every box.”

    “Yes.”

    “Well, I opened my box, looked for the surprise, and found a turd.”

    “Go on.”

    “And it wasn’t just a turd, it was a third of turd.”

    “A turd of a turd? I find that hard to believe. Our turds do not produce other turds.”

    “No, not a turd of a turd. A third of a turd. How shall I put it? One over three of a turd.”

    “Oh, a third of a turd. Would you have liked a whole turd?”

    “We’re going astray here. What kind of a surprise is a turd?”

    “Well, were you surprised?”

    “Sure. I expected something like a toy, or some knick-knack.”

    “Okay, so the writing on the box is truthful. There was a surprise in your box.”

    “That’s your stance?”

    “Yes, I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”

    “I see.”

    “This is the wrong department for such activity. You want the Department of Making Mountains Out of Molehills, next door.”

    “[Picks up phone and dials.]”

    “Who are you calling?”

    “The Department of Farcical Situations.”

    “Why?”

    “To report this situation!”

    #TheDailyIsotope #AutisticWriters #turd

    #AutisticWriters #TheDailyIsotope #turd
  11. A surprise in every box.

    “Is this the Department of Formal Complaints?”

    “No, this is the Department of Informal Complaints.”

    “Oh, but the sign on the door says…”

    “I was joking. This, indeed, is the Department of Formal Complaints. There is no such thing as a Department of Informal Complaints. That would be bonkers.”

    “Ah. Well, I’d like to submit a formal complaint. Hmm… no, I wouldn’t *like* to submit it. ‘Like’ is the wrong word. I would be displeased to submit… That does not sound quite right either.”

    “You want to submit a formal complaint, right?”

    “That’s it.”

    “What is it about?”

    “Your boxes of cereal claim that there is a surprise in every box.”

    “Yes.”

    “Well, I opened my box, looked for the surprise, and found a turd.”

    “Go on.”

    “And it wasn’t just a turd, it was a third of turd.”

    “A turd of a turd? I find that hard to believe. Our turds do not produce other turds.”

    “No, not a turd of a turd. A third of a turd. How shall I put it? One over three of a turd.”

    “Oh, a third of a turd. Would you have liked a whole turd?”

    “We’re going astray here. What kind of a surprise is a turd?”

    “Well, were you surprised?”

    “Sure. I expected something like a toy, or some knick-knack.”

    “Okay, so the writing on the box is truthful. There was a surprise in your box.”

    “That’s your stance?”

    “Yes, I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”

    “I see.”

    “This is the wrong department for such activity. You want the Department of Making Mountains Out of Molehills, next door.”

    “[Picks up phone and dials.]”

    “Who are you calling?”

    “The Department of Farcical Situations.”

    “Why?”

    “To report this situation!”

    #TheDailyIsotope #AutisticWriters #turd

    #AutisticWriters #TheDailyIsotope #turd
  12. A surprise in every box.

    “Is this the Department of Formal Complaints?”

    “No, this is the Department of Informal Complaints.”

    “Oh, but the sign on the door says…”

    “I was joking. This, indeed, is the Department of Formal Complaints. There is no such thing as a Department of Informal Complaints. That would be bonkers.”

    “Ah. Well, I’d like to submit a formal complaint. Hmm… no, I wouldn’t *like* to submit it. ‘Like’ is the wrong word. I would be displeased to submit… That does not sound quite right either.”

    “You want to submit a formal complaint, right?”

    “That’s it.”

    “What is it about?”

    “Your boxes of cereal claim that there is a surprise in every box.”

    “Yes.”

    “Well, I opened my box, looked for the surprise, and found a turd.”

    “Go on.”

    “And it wasn’t just a turd, it was a third of turd.”

    “A turd of a turd? I find that hard to believe. Our turds do not produce other turds.”

    “No, not a turd of a turd. A third of a turd. How shall I put it? One over three of a turd.”

    “Oh, a third of a turd. Would you have liked a whole turd?”

    “We’re going astray here. What kind of a surprise is a turd?”

    “Well, were you surprised?”

    “Sure. I expected something like a toy, or some knick-knack.”

    “Okay, so the writing on the box is truthful. There was a surprise in your box.”

    “That’s your stance?”

    “Yes, I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”

    “I see.”

    “This is the wrong department for such activity. You want the Department of Making Mountains Out of Molehills, next door.”

    “[Picks up phone and dials.]”

    “Who are you calling?”

    “The Department of Farcical Situations.”

    “Why?”

    “To report this situation!”

    #TheDailyIsotope #AutisticWriters #turd

    #AutisticWriters #TheDailyIsotope #turd
  13. A surprise in every box.

    “Is this the Department of Formal Complaints?”

    “No, this is the Department of Informal Complaints.”

    “Oh, but the sign on the door says…”

    “I was joking. This, indeed, is the Department of Formal Complaints. There is no such thing as a Department of Informal Complaints. That would be bonkers.”

    “Ah. Well, I’d like to submit a formal complaint. Hmm… no, I wouldn’t *like* to submit it. ‘Like’ is the wrong word. I would be displeased to submit… That does not sound quite right either.”

    “You want to submit a formal complaint, right?”

    “That’s it.”

    “What is it about?”

    “Your boxes of cereal claim that there is a surprise in every box.”

    “Yes.”

    “Well, I opened my box, looked for the surprise, and found a turd.”

    “Go on.”

    “And it wasn’t just a turd, it was a third of turd.”

    “A turd of a turd? I find that hard to believe. Our turds do not produce other turds.”

    “No, not a turd of a turd. A third of a turd. How shall I put it? One over three of a turd.”

    “Oh, a third of a turd. Would you have liked a whole turd?”

    “We’re going astray here. What kind of a surprise is a turd?”

    “Well, were you surprised?”

    “Sure. I expected something like a toy, or some knick-knack.”

    “Okay, so the writing on the box is truthful. There was a surprise in your box.”

    “That’s your stance?”

    “Yes, I think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill.”

    “I see.”

    “This is the wrong department for such activity. You want the Department of Making Mountains Out of Molehills, next door.”

    “[Picks up phone and dials.]”

    “Who are you calling?”

    “The Department of Farcical Situations.”

    “Why?”

    “To report this situation!”

    #TheDailyIsotope #AutisticWriters #turd

    #AutisticWriters #TheDailyIsotope #turd
  14. I think the State of the Union, as performed now, is only useful in that it might provide some entertainment if the speaker shits his pants live on TV. Otherwise, I struggle to see the point.

    #uspol #stateOfTheUnion #trump #turd

  15. I think the State of the Union, as performed now, is only useful in that it might provide some entertainment if the speaker shits his pants live on TV. Otherwise, I struggle to see the point.

    #uspol #stateOfTheUnion #trump #turd

  16. I think the State of the Union, as performed now, is only useful in that it might provide some entertainment if the speaker shits his pants live on TV. Otherwise, I struggle to see the point.

    #uspol #stateOfTheUnion #trump #turd

  17. I think the State of the Union, as performed now, is only useful in that it might provide some entertainment if the speaker shits his pants live on TV. Otherwise, I struggle to see the point.

    #uspol #stateOfTheUnion #trump #turd

  18. CW: Toilet humour.

    Nobody flush the toilet. I've called Guinness. Might have a new world record there.

    #poo #turd

  19. CW: Toilet humour.

    Nobody flush the toilet. I've called Guinness. Might have a new world record there.

    #poo #turd

  20. CW: Toilet humour.

    Nobody flush the toilet. I've called Guinness. Might have a new world record there.

    #poo #turd

  21. The #orange #asshole
    the same #turd who claimed to deserve a '#Nobel' for peace
    #trump !
    without the permission of the #American #Congress
    ordered a treacherous vile attack on the #State of #Venezuela
    >already happened<

    An absurd and absolutely insane and criminal act of war.

    Americans should be ashamed !

  22. The #orange #asshole
    the same #turd who claimed to deserve a '#Nobel' for peace
    #trump !
    without the permission of the #American #Congress
    ordered a treacherous vile attack on the #State of #Venezuela
    >already happened<

    An absurd and absolutely insane and criminal act of war.

    Americans should be ashamed !

  23. The #orange #asshole
    the same #turd who claimed to deserve a '#Nobel' for peace
    #trump !
    without the permission of the #American #Congress
    ordered a treacherous vile attack on the #State of #Venezuela
    >already happened<

    An absurd and absolutely insane and criminal act of war.

    Americans should be ashamed !

  24. The #orange #asshole
    the same #turd who claimed to deserve a '#Nobel' for peace
    #trump !
    without the permission of the #American #Congress
    ordered a treacherous vile attack on the #State of #Venezuela
    >already happened<

    An absurd and absolutely insane and criminal act of war.

    Americans should be ashamed !

  25. The #orange #asshole
    the same #turd who claimed to deserve a '#Nobel' for peace
    #trump !
    without the permission of the #American #Congress
    ordered a treacherous vile attack on the #State of #Venezuela
    >already happened<

    An absurd and absolutely insane and criminal act of war.

    Americans should be ashamed !

  26. I solved my Baofeng UV-5R Mini problem - for good!

    (Boy, was that shitty software) #baofeng #mini #turd

  27. I solved my Baofeng UV-5R Mini problem - for good!

    (Boy, was that shitty software) #baofeng #mini #turd

  28. I solved my Baofeng UV-5R Mini problem - for good!

    (Boy, was that shitty software) #baofeng #mini #turd

  29. I solved my Baofeng UV-5R Mini problem - for good!

    (Boy, was that shitty software) #baofeng #mini #turd

  30. I solved my Baofeng UV-5R Mini problem - for good!

    (Boy, was that shitty software) #baofeng #mini #turd

  31. @randahl

    Caption: "Why am I standing here next to an orange turd?"

    #turd

  32. @randahl

    Caption: "Why am I standing here next to an orange turd?"

    #turd

  33. @randahl

    Caption: "Why am I standing here next to an orange turd?"

    #turd

  34. @randahl

    Caption: "Why am I standing here next to an orange turd?"

    #turd

  35. @randahl

    Caption: "Why am I standing here next to an orange turd?"

    #turd